#I haven’t showered either in like 2 days and I haven’t changed my sheets in a few weeks so I feel disgusting

[wosoamazing]

Periods

Summary: you get your third period and it’s bad but Lia and Leah take care of you.

Warnings: Bad period, vomit, hints at Leah’s endometriosis (but not actually mentioned)

A/N: I understand that Lia and Leah are not together, but this is purely fiction so…. Hope you like it, also as always requests are welcome, and I am working on the current requests I have.

“Hey Y/N/N, why aren’t you up yet? The girls are coming over soon.” Beth asked, you had stayed at Beth and Viv's for the night as Leah was going out with some friends and you didn't want to be left alone.

“My stomach hurts Beth, it’s like cramping,” she furrows her eyebrows and pulls back your covers, to see a red patch underneath you.

“Oh, I think you’ve got your period, don’t worry it’s okay, it happens to all of us, there are some products in the bottom draw of the bathroom, have a shower and I’ll change the sheets for you,” she left you in the spare room, you quickly grabbed some clothes for the day and made your way to the bathroom, passing Beth in the hall.

You spent quite some time in the shower the warm water felt really nice, once you got out you put a tampon in and a pad on, you didn’t want to leak, you have only had 2 previous periods, but hadn’t leaked onto the sheets even the first time you got one, so you were more concerned than usual, after getting dressed you headed downstairs.

You had barely made it down the stairs, each step was accompanied by a stab in your lower abdomen. With each step the number of tears leaking out of your eyes increased. You walked into the living room where you could hear voices coming from, as you rounded the corner Lia saw you and her face dropped. “Oh Bug, come here” she said as she gestured for you to come sit with her, she was sat in the corner seat of the couch with her legs crossed, Steph was sat next to her, normally you would’ve resisted her offer, you didn’t like to have to have people take care of you, but in this moment you just wanted comfort preferably from your sister but Lia was the next best thing, you had seen her take care of Leah many times and sometimes Leah even asked Lia for help, especially when she had her period, and she was very good at it. So, you went over at sat in her lap. You sat horizontally to her, leaning your side into her, and placing your head into the crook of her neck, you brought your knees up to your chest and curled yourself up in hopes of reducing the pain you were experiencing.

Shortly after Beth had entered the room, holding some pains meds and your Arsenal water bottle in one hand and a hot water bottle and some sick bags in the other, you were slightly confused as to why she had those but didn’t bother to question, the girls had dealt with Leah’s periods a few times so maybe they were preparing just encase. “Here,” you sat up slightly as Beth handed you the pains meds and water bottle, she placed the sick bags next to Lia. After you swallow the pain meds, she gave you the hot water bottle which you put on your stomach before collapsing back into Lia as you let out a whimper.

“Where is Le?”

“She’ll be here soon, was just picking some things up. It’s okay, I’m here for you, anything you need at all, I know they haven’t been this bad before, but its okay” Lia told you. She practically knew everything about you, she was essentially living in your house now so it was expected.

“Do you want something to eat?” Beth asked you, you shook your head.

“You should try and eat something Kleintje, what about just a piece of toast” Viv asked

You didn't nod but you didn't shake your head either, so Viv decided to go make you a piece of toast, she lightly buttered it for you and brought it back. You managed to get through half of it before you started to feel sick, you gave it back to Viv and tried to take your mind of the sick feeling, however it only increased, you were very similar to your sister when you were sick or in pain so Lia noticed almost immediately, she got herself prepared with a sick bag trying to be as discrete as possible. You released from your ball as you gagged, Lia held the sick bag for you, and Steph rubbed your back. Once you finished you leaned back into Lia as Viv took the bag from her and said, “I’m going to call Leah,” to which everyone nodded in agreement.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, starting to cry, you try and burry yourself into Lia further, she pulls you closer and just wraps her arms around you once again, whispering “It’s okay Bug, we’ve got you” in your ear. You drift off to sleep, shortly after.

_____

You wake up in a different place, you were still lying on Lia, but in different surroundings much more familiar surrounds. You were in your own house, Lia was sitting on your couch. Lia had noticed your stir “Hey Bug, Leah is just having a quick shower, then she will be out, how are you feeling?”

“B-bad” you said as tears leaked out of your eyes.

Lia noticed you were trying to move “Where do you want to go?” “Toilet” “Okay, do you want help up?” you shake your head. You try and manoeuvre yourself out of Lia’s lap, however it was unsuccessful and your movement caused a wave of stabbing pains to course through your abdomen, your breath hitched, you felt sick, like you were going to be sick, but you couldn’t be. Lia had noticed this, the bathroom wasn’t an option, and with your pain so bad, she didn’t want to move at all, every time she breathed you whimpered ever so slightly so she knew moving to reach the bowl would be all too much, she was just glad her and Leah had the idea to put towels down on the couch. You gagged, cupping your hand to your mouth, not knowing what you were trying to achieve as there wasn’t really another option other than the one you really didn’t want to face

“It’s okay, just let it out, we can just clean it up” she said in a soft, kind and reassuring tone. You gaged again, the only difference was this time something came up, and it went on you and Lia, “It’s okay, don’t worry, I’m here” Lia said as she rubbed your back. “Oh Bug,” Leah said as she walked out just catching a glimpse of the end of the what had just unfolded, she quickly walked over and grabbed the bowl placing it front of you, you gag again and loose more of your stomach contents, thankfully this time none of it was going on you though, Lia rubbed your back while Leah spoke encouraging words in your ear. “I’m sorry” you said shaking once you were done.

“It’s okay Bug, come on let’s get you showered” she picked you up, and took you to the bathroom, once you had gotten all cleaned up and changed, Leah directed you to her room as she helped you walk, Lia was already there sitting on ‘her’ side of the bed, she had also gotten prepared, there was water, pain meds, hydrolyte, sick bags and cloths on either side of the bed. You got onto the bed and Leah followed, leaving you positioned in the middle of the two women. Lia handed you some pain meds and water which you took before curling up with the hot water bottle on your stomach. Leah was rubbing your back, hoping that eventually it might soothe you to sleep, but it didn’t, only your whimpers got worse. You let out a little cry as Leah repositioned herself on the bed, she positioned the pillows so that her upper body was just slightly propped up. “Bug, I’m going to try something, it might hurt at first, but it should help, okay?” You nod slightly, so she gently slides you so that you are resting on top of her, she pulled you up slightly too so that your head on her shoulder, the movement cause you to cry, “Oh Bug, I know I’m sorry, I love you” she kissed you on the temple before continuing “I’m going to place my hands on your stomach okay, I’ll start ever so gentle and then slowly and slightly increase the pressure, but if at anytime you want me to stop just tell me and I will,” you nod. She places her hands on your stomach just below your waistband, you can feel the warmth of her hands and your body relaxes slightly, and with that Leah starts to apply a small amount of pressure, you wince and reach out for Lia’s hand seeking comfort, she slides over from where she is on the bed to be right next to Leah, you felt her at Leah’s side and slightly moved your head, so it was resting on her shoulder. Having relaxed into the initial pressure Leah increased, you whined and tried to pull back, Leah immediately moved her hands away “Sorry Bug, do you want me to stop?” “No, it does help, but also hurts a little, but not too much, better than the other pain” “Okay, but again tell me to stop if you need” you nodded your head and she continued, she felt you relax completely when you eventually fell asleep, but she kept massaging for a few minutes just to be sure you were in a deep sleep, your hand loosened on Lia’s and that’s when she stopped knowing you were definitely asleep.

“You’re a really good sister to her you know that right?” “Yeah, I suppose, I really don’t want her to leave, but she needs to, she needs to keep developing and as much as it pains me to say it, she isn’t going to improve at arsenal, she has just been playing with us for too long now, she knows the ins and outs of us, and even every defender on other teams, she needs new competition, new play style. I just, I don’t, in a few weeks everything is going to be so different” Leah broke at the final sentence, Lia wrapped her arm around her and kissed her on the temple, before Leah rested her head in the crook of Lia’s neck, her tears slid down her face, making Lia’s neck wet as she tried to hide her emotions, this was the first time Leah had actually expressed how she felt about your move, Lia knew how she felt but Leah hadn't actually spoken to anyone about it yet. “You know its okay to cry right, you both have such a special bond, she has lived with you for the past 6 years and you lived with her for like the first 8 years of here life-” “something like that yeah” “I know it will be different, I’ll miss her too, I spend so much time with her and I basically live here now, it’s like she is my little sister. But we have each other we will get through this together okay, I love you so much Le” “I love you too Wally, and if it helps, she definitely thinks of you as a big sister, I don’t think she would’ve let any of the other girls look after her today the way she let you do willingly, and did you see her reach for your hand and relax slightly when you came closer, she loves you too Wally, and also thank you so much for taking such amazing care of her today, while I wasn’t there. Sorry you got sick on you”.

Lia made a gross face at the reminder of that “I don’t think I would willingly let anyone other than my two Williamson’s vomit on me, ever. I just feel so bad for her, do you think we should take her to the doctor? Like I know with you and all there are the chances and stuff but what if something is wrong.”

“Oh don’t worry Mum has her booked in for an ultrasound already, somehow she managed to get one for tomorrow which in hindsight isn’t going to be fun to get her to but oh well” your sister looked down to your face a small frown was appearing she moved one of her hands back onto your stomach and the frown slightly lessened, she lightly started massaging again and the frown disappeared, so she kept going, hoping that you could sleep, as clearly even in your sleep you were in pain. “I do hope though that this is just a one off, I don’t want her to have to go through it, deal with this or worse every month.”

“I know, I hope so too, but we will be here for her and Lucy and Kie will look after her, and the girls at Barca, they all seem lovely”

“Yeah, it, just, I don’t know,” Leah sighed, they laid in silence for a bit before Lia spoke.

“Babe, I might try and sleep, if that’s okay, because it’s not like we are going anywhere soon and I’m slightly exhausted, after last night and then today”.

“Yeah, I might sleep too, love you,” they kissed briefly before Leah placed her head in the crook of Lia’s neck again and Lia rested her head on hers.

____

“Oh, Cait, I found them, shhh” Katie said, Caitlin came in and took a picture, Leah and Lia held hands over you, as you hand your hand was still placed in Lia’s and Leah’s other arm was wrapped around you.

“They are so cute, let’s just leave them be, leave the stuff on the bench I’ll send them a message”.

____

Leah woke up first and grabbed her phone, seeing a message from Caitlin.

Caitlin: We came to drop of a few things, you didn’t answer so we let ourselves in, we found all 3 of you asleep, so let you be, the items are just on the bench.

Caitlin: *sent a photo*

Leah: Thank you so much, and could you not tell people straight away….. I mean I know the team probably assumes but we haven’t told Bug yet, were going to tell her today but…

Caitlin: Yeah sure, hope she feels better.

____

You blinked your eyes open, and Leah looked down at you, “Feeling better Bug?”

“A little I guess,” you paused for a little moment, “Le?” “Yeah Bug,” “Are you and Lia together?” “Well Bug, in a way I suppose yes, we were going to ask you if you were okay with us being together today, but we decided not too because you weren’t well”.

“Okay, I don’t mind, can Lia move in now? Well like does it mean she will move in?”

“If you’re okay with that bug.”

“I would like that, I love Lia, she is really nice and fun, and she takes care of me and doesn’t complain when I throw up on her, and she makes you happy, and she is always the first one to check you’re okay and she really cares for you and helps you, even when you push her away. Don’t mess this one up Le, but maybe before she moves in just check, she wants kids…. And maybe marriage.”

“I’m glad you like her bug, because I do really like her, and I promise I wont mess this one up.” “I’m just going to go to the toilet” you say as you get up and head for the toilet shutting the door.

“Having little mini me’s wandering around the house one day could be cute, and I reckon she would make a great wedding planner, that way she wouldn't have to choose between us, for bride's maid”

“You were awake? You heard all that?” Lia nodded and smiled, which caused Leah to smirk before they kissed.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc #awfc x reader

[thebetawolfgirl]

His Worst Day

Pairing: Timmy x Reader

Warnings: None really, slight mention of depression. Just pure fluff.

Summary: Timmy has a really bad day, and y/n takes care of him.

A/N: Had one of my own bad days yesterday so this one is based on that!

His Worst Day

This was odd, even though he was always photographed on his phone or using it in some form he wasn’t surgically attached to it, but she hadn’t heard from him in five days and he always made sure he messaged her just to say Hello or to remind her how much he loved her. But not to hear from him for this amount of time was concerning and quite scary, she called his parents and his sister and they hadn’t heard from him either and just assumed he was with her.

She grabbed her car keys and left her apartment to head to his place after trying to call him only to get his voicemail.

She parked in the private parking garage underneath the apartment complex and climbed the stairs two at a time, she used her key to let herself into his humble 2 bedroom apartment and walked into the living room to find the place littered with half eaten takeout containers,

Now she was really worried, Timmy could be a bit messy but not to this extent.

She walked to his bedroom and slowly opened the door to find him in bed curled up in the feral position beneath the covers, she could also hear sniffling and walked to his side of the bed kneeling in front of the lump on the bed ‘Timmy? My love?’ She whispered his name gently pulling away the duvet from his head to see his pale face and exhausted red puffy eyes.

‘Baby? What’s happened?’ She brushed his hair gently from his face as he mumbled hoarsely ‘I just get like this sometimes, I just get so low I can’t find the strength to do anything. I’m sorry I haven’t called or text, I just-‘

‘Shhhh it’s okay you don’t need to explain, I understand.’ She whispered climbing in beside him carefully and holding him close against her while pressing her body against his and rubbed slow circles around his back.

After a while she got up leaving him to go into the bathroom and ran him a hot bath with all his favourite scents then went into the kitchen and cleaned up throwing all of the old food out cleaning the containers. She went back into the bathroom turning the taps off when the bath was filled and went to fetch him.

‘Timmy, my angel I filled the bathtub let’s go.’

She knew she should leave him in bed, but she wanted him out of the bed so she could change the sheets and put fresh ones on.

He got up groggily his hair standing up in all directions and followed her to the bathroom letting her strip him of his sweat covered clothes and helped him into the water watching him sigh as the hot water hit his stiff muscles.

He brought his knees up to his chest as she washed him gently turning the shower extension on and let the water run over his head and hair, she washed his hair with his favourite shampoo and conditioner untangling his curls gently with her fingers brushing them from his face.

She then washed the soap suds out and drained the water before grabbing the fluffiest and warmest towel she could find and wrapped it around him helping him step out and dried his body gently, she walked him to sit on the chaise at the bottom of the bed and dried him and got him dressed in clean pyjamas.

She then guided him to the living room and turned his favourite show on and made him his favourite snack of cup noodles and knelt down to look at him.

‘I’m going to strip your bed and put nice clean sheets on. I’m just going to be in the next room, I’m not going anywhere else today.’ She spoke softly as he leaned his forehead against hers and she touched his cheek gently.

She gave him his noodles and left him with his throw over his knees and went to strip his bed to put them in the washing machine and took fresh linens out of his wardrobe, they were the silk ones he got for his birthday and grabbed the matching pillow cases and duvet before carefully putting them on.

She then grabbed the dirty sheets and duvet cover and carried them through to the kitchen and threw them into the washing machine, she scooped some lavender fabric softener into the drawer and turned it on.

She then turned to return to the living room to sit beside her boyfriend and found him Channel surfing with the remote, his finished noodles on the coffee table, she smiled walking over to him and kissed the top of his head before sitting down beside him and let him lay his head on her lap.

‘Feeling better baby?’ She still spoke softly to him while playing with his hair feeling him nod his head and hum in response.

‘I’ve sent a quick message to your sister telling her I’ve got you. I’ll stay for as long as you need me. Today we can stay in and watch movies and just rest.’

He sighed and curled up against her whispering in a small voice ‘Thank you. For everything.’

She leaned down and kissed his cheek and rubbed his arm gently.

‘I love you.’ He mumbled and she smiled ‘I love you more sweet angel boy.’

This had been his worst day, but as long as he had her by his side, he would get through it.

@sufferingstarlight

@gatoenlaciudad

@kteezy997

@lixzey

@tchalamess

@tchalamss

@minnypress

@mel-vaz

#lil timmy tim #timothèe chalamet #timothée hal chalamet #timmy x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet fluff #timmy fanfics #timmy imagines #reader imagine

[markwatnae]

What is it about depression that makes you so tired but you also don’t want to or can’t go to sleep because something about staying awake being miserable is more appealing to your brain? I feel like actual shit, I haven’t felt like this since high school and most of my mutuals now weren’t around for that but it was bad. I’m genuinely worried. The good thing is that I feel this way at night and not during the day which means it’s probably mostly the late night gremlins that make you think everyone hates you and your life will amount to nothing and slightly less the actual depression. But I still feel legitimately horrific and I know if I went to sleep I’d wake up tomorrow and have a better day but I can’t. I don’t want to lay down and close my eyes. I don’t want to be miserable anymore either. There’s not much else for me to do at 12:47 AM when both my parents are asleep. I could take a shower which would probably make me feel better but then I’d also have to change my sheets because it’s been over a month since I did that last and I don’t really want to change them (I don’t know if I even have clean ones to use) and that means I’ll be awake until 2 at least which I don’t want so that’s a nonstarter. You see my problem here? I’m sorry you guys have to witness this.

[brookswackermanfeetcam]

I’m ok I just need to complain a lil oohho don’t mind rin

#big tmi in tags but I’m ok don’t worry :) #I’m abt to pass out lol I’m #started my period yesterday 5 days late bc I’m stressed i assume it be like that sometimes #and anyway since I was late she’s throwing a fit and I’m cramping a little and more importantly I’m very nauseous #I haven’t showered either in like 2 days and I haven’t changed my sheets in a few weeks so I feel disgusting #idk I’m just over it I need a week off and a lobotomy #can’t do that tho bc it’s holiday season and then tc is taking her vacation even though she’s already never here and then we have to get #ready for pi #and I wanted to call out today but I’m really not even sick I’m just. gotta hang in there society isn’t to blame you’re the problem #that’s a reference don’t worry #I couldn’t have anyway bc my manager is now an hour late and she’ll be here in about 30 minutes but she’s running late because she was #feeling bad this morning too. and we’re the only two employees rn #lmaoo. it’s beachy it’s beachy keen just gotta hang in there society isn’t to blame #I think I’ll play that when I get home I needed a good cry anyway #shut up rin

[glassartpeasants]

If you don't make a happy ending for couldn't care less you better keep bob with you at all times

HOW DARE YOU THREATEN BOB YOU KNOW WHAT-

Couldn’t Care Less .2

Shigaraki x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, abuse, gore

~~~

“i hope that blue haired fuck got what he wanted. I hope that handyman freak dies alone.” You say to yourself as you walk down the alleys way of Musutafu. The smell of the dingey and moldy alleyways flood your nose as the laughter of happy couples ring in your ears. 

How come they got they’re happily ever after but you didn’t? It wasn’t fair. You did everything you could to be there for him. Yet he still treats you like shit, all because you cared about him? And then he thinks your cheating all cause you ask a male friend for advice! What an insecure asshole.

A vibrating in your pocket brought you back to reality as you realize your phone was ringing. Letting out a sigh you answer,

“Hello?”

“Come pick up your shit.” Oh, you thought you blocked this fuck.

“Keep it asshole. I don’t want anything that smells like ‘lonely bastard who only gets action from his hand’  on my clothes.  Burn it, decay it, I couldn’t give a shit less.”

“God you were always so dramatic. And there’s no reason to be a cunt.”

“And there was no reason for you to be an insecure dick. You either block my number or im calling the police and ratting on you.” A silence fell over the phone. Nothing was said until you finally spoke up.

“Jeez your pathetic. I’ll do it myself.” He was about to say something, insult your most likely before you hung up the phone and blocked him not seconds later.

“Now he’s outta my hair. I can finally feel some sort of calm.”

~~~

3 weeks later

After a day of coming back to your musty apartment you decided it needed a little bit of cleaning, considering you haven’t been their in about 4 months. You paid up front all the time even when you weren’t living in it. Just in case ya know?

You swept up the floors, vacuumed the carpet AND shampooed it.Cleaned the tub, shower and sinks, cleaned out your empty refrigerator, washed all you sheets and what clothes you left there. It wasn’t much so you knew you had to get some more before anything else. That and groceries.

 After all that was said and done, you sat down on the couch and just relaxed. Well you tired, that was before Shigaraki popped into your head again. It wasn’t a sort of loving way, it was a hatred sort of. The thought of his stupid face made you just want to punch a wall, pretending to be his face.

But you ignored it as you turned on the Tv, hoping that would get your mind off him. Nothing interesting except the news. Always talking about violence and war. Same old thing over and over. Blood, death, tragedy.

“This world is a cruel unjust place. The only way it seems to be recognized in this world is death or doing horrible things. Nothing good every comes to fruition.” You grumble before walking to your room and plopping down on the nice clean and still warm sheets. The nice smell of lavender slowly dragging you to sleep.

~~~

A loud bang hit your door which ripped you from your slumber. You were questioning on checking it out before you heard something that made your heart stop,

“If there’s anyone in the house kill them, we can’t have people knowing we ransacked this place.” You slowly get off your bed before moving slowly and quietly to your window. Your push your fingers on the glass and you gently push it up. Grabbing at the sides of the window you pull yourself out of it, not before hearing a gunshot and a burning pain inside your calf.

“Fuck! They’re getting away!” You could hear them from inside the house.

“Did they see you?!” You fell from your window onto the ground. Thankfully your apartment was on the first floor so it wasn’t a high drop.

“Not that i know of! I did shot them in the leg so they shouldn’t have gotten far!” You try your hardest as you run towards the main street. Cutting through alleyways, going as fast as you can as you hear they’re footsteps behind you. Looking up closely you see a hero, knowing he was your only chance you scream for help.

“Help me please!” The hero’s head turned towards you and ran towards you. You guess the robbers heard your cry for help because they’re footsteps seemed to be heading back your probably trashed apartment.

“Oh my! What happened?!” The sound of the hero’s concerned voice calmed you down a bit. 

“Some people tried to rob my place and i tried to get out of there silently but they must have came into my room and saw me leaving and shot me in the calf!” You wince as putting pressure on the wound burned hotter than hell.

“Don’t worry! I’ll get you to the hospital in no time!” You felt relieved before hearing a crunching sound, you looked to your left and see a familiar patch of blue hair in your peripheral vision. You ignored him before getting picked up by the hero and was carried to the hospital. The blood loss from your calf slowly dragged you into unconsciousness.

~~~

After waking up you notice the white room you were in. It was pristine to the touch and smelled of lemon cleaning products. The bright lights hallways peered inside your room from the crack of your door.

Looking around the small feeling of pain crept back into your leg except not as painful anymore. Pulling back the covers you notice bandages and a small bit of blood that stained through the bandages around your wound.

“Ah fuck that’s gonna scar. It’s gonna be a pain to heal too.” You say to yourself as you pull back the blankets and wrap yourself up in them. 

Right as you were falling back asleep the ringing of your cellphone brought you out. Grumbling in annoyance you grab it and look at the caller id. It was a number you didn’t recognize so you just let it ring thinking it’ll be the end of it. That was until it started ringing again. You sighed in frustration and picked up the phone, not wanting it to ring longer since it was in the dead of night at the hospital and you wanted people to be able to sleep.

“What the hell do you want? It’s the middle of the night.” You annoyed voice rang into the other side of the phone.

“Why tf were you talking to a hero? Did you fucking break your end of the bargain?” You were confused at first. You definitely knew the voice behind the phone. Then you remembered earlier that day when you saw him in the shadows.

“I was literally shot. You think im not gonna ask someone for help?” You rub the bridge of your nose.

“I don’t believe you. You always were a two faced bitch.”

“Oh jesus fuck, thanks for the insult. Glad to know what you always thought about me.”

“I’m going to kill you you backstabbing bitch.”

“Love ya too. goodnight and goodbye Shigaraki.” You hung up and blocked said number. You weren’t going to lie, hearing him spill such an insult and threat hurt you and made you very weary and afraid if he would actually go through with it or if he was just saying that to scare you.

You knew what those hands could do and you knew how painful that death would have been. You were hurt more than you liked to admit, at the beginning of your relationship he wasn’t aggressive or mean at all towards you.  He’d try to get you flowers or your favorite type of drink. He called you pet names that would make your heart flutter and beat, you don’t know what you did wrong for him to change so suddenly. It was like on day he flipped a switch, and you never knew why.

You tried recalling the day where it started and remembered that everyone was annoyed or being rude to Dabi, you didn’t know why and when you asked Spinner or anyone else they just said it was national, be a bitch to Dabi day. You laughed and shrugged it off ignoring it before walking up to your boyfriend giving him a kiss on the lips, only to be pushed into the wall and ignored. You just looked at him in shocked and it had only spiraled down from there to where you are now. 

Something had to be wrong. You knew it, Dabi had to have something to do with Shigaraki’s switch in behavior. You looked around the room for any camera and when you noticed that there were none, you called up the burnt male himself. He surprisingly picked up on the first ring.

“(Y/N)? I haven’t heard from you in 3 weeks. Or was it four? Doesn’t matter, where have you been?”

“Dabi, i need you to be honest with me, did you say something to Shigaraki?”

“Huh?”

“Dabi, five months ago Shigaraki flipped a switch and went from a caring boyfriend to an actually nightmare. I need to know if you or anyone else said something to him.” Dabi was quiet on the other line before sighing,

“About that time range i made a joke about sleeping with you, everyone knew it was a joke but apparently Shigaraki didn’t. I didn’t think he’d treat you like he did. Im sorry.” You fell silent. All this shit treatment because Shigaraki couldn’t a joke. Sure it pissed you off that Dabi made such a stupid joke but you were more mad at Shigaraki that he just treated you like shit instead of asking you and confronting you about it.

“Thank you for telling me. Do you know where Shigaraki is now?”

“He left about an hour ago, why?” Shit. You knew this was the only hospital close to your place and Shigaraki knew that too. You got up from your bed and locked the door before going back into your bed, watching the crack under your door incase the light was blocked.

“Dabi, I just want you to know that i forgive you.”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about-” Your phone went silent as the battery died.

‘Shit shit shit shit!’ you thought to yourself as you beg for the phone to turn back on. But you fell silent as the light from the outside of your room was blocked.

“(Y/N), I know you're in there, open the fucking door before i decay it down.” You said nothing in fear. You were glued to your bed as you faced the door.

But that fear was nothing compared to seeing him actually decay the door.

“You stupid snitch. i should make your death as painful as possible.” he said as soon as he stepped inside your hospital room. 

“Shigaraki, I didn’t snitch I promise. Why don’t you believe me!” You say as you get off your bed and try to get as far away from him as possible. The pain of the bullet would making you wince.

“Why would I believe a cheating bitch like you?” Before you could speak a four fingered grip wrapped itself around your throat. Shigaraki was always fast, you should have known that you were gonna die even if you tried your hardest.

“I didn’t cheat on you!” You try to pry yourself from shigaraki’s grip.

“Dabi says otherwise.”

“Are you really going to believe him?! You didn’t even talk to me or ask me about it! Just went straight to believing him!” The grip on your neck got tighter.

“then why was they’re a hickey on your collarbone?!”

“You gave it to me! It was fading out!”

“That doesn’t change the fact you snitched!” His pinkie was grazing closer to your skin.

“I never snitched, I was robbed and then they shot me. If you went to my apartment you would see i was right.” He said nothing just staring at you with cold dead eyes. 

“Look! I have bandages wrapped around my calf!” Shigaraki looked down before saying something back.

“It was something the hero’s did so they could protect you in this shit hospital.” I was at that moment you knew, nothing you said would change his mind. You shed not a tear while looking him in the eyes

“I wish I never met you. Fuck you Tomura Shigaraki, I hope you die alone and I’ll see you in hell.” You move your head so his last and final finger touched your skin.

The pain of your skin decaying and falling off was much more painful than you thought it would be. You can remember screaming in pain but, it felt more of a emotional scream rather than one of physical pain. but it seems you weren’t the only one screaming.

The sounds of Shigaraki wailing and screaming your name reached your ears before all you heard was silence and saw nothing.

Shigaraki scrambled to try and grab you and even put you together, but your bloody ashes stuck to his hand. Remains of your existence covered his clothes as he screamed in pain. 

“No no no no! Wait please! I didn’t mean it!” He cried as his tears fell onto your ashes, the tears collecting the ashes and forming a grey tear drop. He wasn’t thinking clearly, he’s sorry! He didn’t want to kill you! 

Bile rose from his throat as he puked all over the ground, inches away from your ashes. He grabbed your ashes trying to pick them up to hold what was left of you. But all he got was the remains of your smeared all over his hoodie. He shook violently as  memories of you guys replayed in his mind, your happy face and the way you use to love him and care for him.

But now, you were nothing more than ashes on his sleeve, reminding him that he was now truly alone.

#tomura shigaraki #mha #bnha #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shiragaki #mha tomura #Shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #never threaten bob again anon :)

[maria-akira]

to the rescue | team trese x reader

—♡—

summary: y/n, basilio and crispin's sister, just experienced her first break-up.

warnings: some improper shifts in tenses <\3 rlly rusty at writing already aaaa. but nonetheless this fic is very fluffy! i apologize in advance for any grammatical errors you may notice, i didn't proofread this :(

yes, i kinda made alexandra fluffy too.

—♡—

"Good Morning, guys!" Basilio turned around to see his brother, Crispin, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

Basilio rolled his eyes, "Anong 'Good Morning'? Mag tatanghali na, di ka man lang nag linis!" (What do you mean 'Good Morning'? It's almost afternoon, you didn't even clean!) He playfully hit the older's head.

"Aray ko!" (Ouch!) Crispin winced and rubbed the spot his brother hit. Alexandra walks in the room with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Basilio, Mag sorry ka sa Kuya mo." (Basilio, apologize to your brother.) Basilio scoffs, "Sorry, Kuya."

They all gathered in the dining room for lunch. Well, brunch for Crispin. "Where's Y/N?" Alexandra asks, looking at the empty chair beside her. Clearly, the chair looked like it had been empty since last night. The twins stare at each other, then both at Alexandra.

"Diba may pinuntahan siya kagabi?" (Didn't she go out last night?) Alexandra mentions.

The twins both shake their head.

"Hindi niyo alam?" (You guys don't know?)

They shake their heads again.

Without a single word, the three exchanged looks and immediately stood up from their seats, rushing upstairs to Y/N's room.

Alexandra pushed the twins aside and pushed the key into the doorknob, then revealing a dishevled, puffy-eyed Y/N. The twins panicked. It was their first time seeing their beloved sister like this.

Meanwhile, Alexandra investigated her room. Y/N's things were on the floor, messed up sheets, and a broken necklace. She then looks over to Y/N. Still in her clothes, puffy-eyed, and her makeup was smuged. Alexandra already had an idea.

The twins shook her awake, "Y/N!, Y/N!— Gising na!" (Y/N, Y/N— Wake up!) With their loud voices and aggressive shaking, their sister finally woke up.

Immediately, Y/N's head started to pound— it was the alcohol she drank last night. She opened her eyes and saw Alexandra and her brothers. Upon seeing them, she bursted into tears.

—

A few months ago, Y/N dated this guy in her class. She hid this from Alexandra, most especially her brothers because she knew that they would beat her ass.

Alexandra found out about her relationship when she was about to fetch her from school. Hank and the twins were at home, sleeping their asses off after their mission.

Parked outside of Y/N's school, Alexandra was waiting for almost 30 minutes. Usually, Y/N would come out a few minutes after her dismissal— but these past few months have been different. After a few more minutes of waiting, she finally saw Y/N— with someone else.

Y/N was holding hands with a boy around 5'10 in height. They were laughing and they looked very sweet. The boy gave her a peck and she playfully pushed him away, then waving goodbye since she spotted the car.

Hank usually fetched Y/N from school, and she knew that Hank didn't really care about her relationship, so she really didn't feel embarrased whenever she entered the car.

Upon entering the car, she expected Hank to greet her. But she was greeted with Alexandra's voice.

"Boyfriend mo?" (Your boyfriend?) Alexandra looks over to her, and Y/N froze. Her first reaction was to lie about it. "Ha? H-Hindi, Ate! Friends lang kami.." (Huh? N-No! We're just friends..) Embarrased, Y/N tried to make herself busy by pretending to fix something in her bag to keep her distracted.

"Anong friends? Hinalikan ka niya, ah." (What do you mean friends? He kissed you.) She mentions.

"Ah.. Eh.." Y/N struggles to keep her words out. It was very evident.

"Sige na, di naman ako magagalit. Di ko sasabihin sa mga Kuya mo, sikreto lang natin." (It's okay, I won't get mad. I won't tell your brothers, it'll be our secret.)

"Oo.. Boyfriend ko siya, Ate. Malapit na kami mag 6 months." (Yes.. He's my boyfriend, Ate. We've been together for almost 6 months.)

From that day on, Y/N would always tell Alexandra about how her relationship was going. And though Alexandra has never had any romantical partners, she tries her best to give Y/N advice.

—

Tiptoe-ing her way downstairs, Y/N was dressed in her clothes to leave the house, on the way to party with her friends and her boyfriend, Jerome.

She checked her phone, 12:47 AM.

Everyone was most likely asleep at this hour, or so she thought.

"Oh, san ka papunta at ganyan suot mo?" (Hey, where are you going and why are you wearing that?) Y/N jolted and turned around to see Alexandra sitting on the dining table.

"Ah.. Ate.. Kasi may p-party kaming pupuntahan nila Aira.." (Ah... There's this p-party I'm going to with Aira..)

"Sina Aira lang ba? O kasama yung boyfriend mo?" (Is it just Aira? Or your boyfriend is going too?) Alexandra tilted her head in question.

"...Kasama po si Jerome." (...Jerome is coming too.)

Alexandra nodded, signalling her that it was okay for her, as an Ate, to go. "Sige, doble ingat ka, okay? Eto, dalhin mo to." (Be extra careful, okay? Here, bring this.) Alexandra pulls out a self defense keychain from her pocket and throws it at Y/N's direction. "May alarm diyan. If you're in any danger, pindutin mo yung alarm and malalaman ko location mo, pupuntahan kita kaagad." (There's an alarm there. If you're in any danger, press that alarm and I'll be able to know your location, then I'll come and get you.)

"Thanks, Ate! Mag iingat ako. Love you!" (Thanks, Ate! I'll take care. Love you!) Y/N smiled and hugged Alexandra.

Little did she know, Y/N's smile wouldn't last very long.

That night, Y/N saw her boyfriend kissing another girl across the room. She confronted him and he admitted that he had been cheating on her for the past few months. Y/N didn't know what to feel. She didn't wanna call Alexandra because she knew that she would be asleep by now. She didn't wanna talk to her friends either, so she went home.

Once she arrived home, she didn't bother to change or shower. She was so tired. Her body fell on the bed and she instantly cried. sobbing against her pillows to muffle her tears.

—

Basilio and Crispin were clueless about as to why their sister was crying. They consoled her for a few minutes until Alexandra spoke.

"Basilio, Crispin— mag usap tayo sa labas." (Basilio, Crispin— let's talk outside.) Alexandra left the room and waited for the twins to leave as well. Once they left the room, she shut the door.

The twins looked worried— well, afraid, rather.

"May sikreto kaming itinatago ni Y/N sa inyong dalawa.." (Y/N and I have a secret we've been keeping from the both of you..) Alexandra starts off.

"Ano yun, Bossing?" (What is it, Bossing?) The twins replied, obviously curious.

Alexandra knew that if she told the twins, their reaction wouldn't be as violent if it was Y/N who would be telling it instead.

"May boyfriend si Y/N." (Y/N has a boyfriend.)

The twins both drop their jaws, "Ano?!" (What?!) Basilio slaps his hand over his mouth, while Crispin is in complete shock. "Kelan pa, Bossing?" (Since when, Bossing?) Basilio asks with a hint of anger in his voice.

"2 months ago niya sinabi sakin.. Siguro 8 months silang mag jowa." (She told me 2 months ago.. Maybe they've been together for around 8 months.)

"Tangina naman!" (Motherfucker!) Crispin throws a punch to the nearest wall. Alexandra has never seen the twins react like this, especially Crispin.

There was a moment of silence.

"Nahuli ko siyang tumatakas kaninang 12, nag paalam sakin na may pupuntahan na party, kasama boyfriend niya." (I caught her sneaking out earlier at 12, she asked my permission if she could go to a party with her boyfriend.)

"Bat di niyo kami ginising, bossing?" (Why didn't you wake us up, Bossing?) Basilio sighs, "Ayaw niya na malaman nyo na may boyfriend siya, kasi alam niya na magagalit kayo." (She didn't want you guys to find out that she had a boyfriend, because she knew that you guys would get mad.)

"Malamang, bunso namin 'yan eh! Alangan naman pabayaan namin 'yan diba? Eh hindi pa nga namin kilala boyfriend nyan!" (Of course we would get mad, she's our baby sister! Do you think we'd let her get away just like that? We haven't even met her boyfriend yet!" Crispin rambles.

"Mabait naman yung boyfriend niya." (Her boyfriend is kind.) Alexandra defends, "Bossing, 'di naman po yun sapat para ma kumbinsi nyo po kami na pwede po siya magkajowa.." (Bossing, that isn't a sufficient reason to convince us that it's okay for her to have a boyfriend..) Basilio says calmly, but deep down? He was screaming.

Alexandra ignores Basilio's statement, "Ano naman kinaiiyakan niya?" (What is she crying about?) Crispin managed to say despite the emotions he felt about the situation. Alexandra lets out a sigh, "Nag break na siguro sila." (Maybe they broke up.)

"Tangina, sabi ko na nga ba eh." (I fucking knew it.) Crispin mumbles under his breath, while running his fingers through his hair out of frustration.

"Yung sirang necklace na nasa sahig kanina, bigay yun ng boyfriend niya sa kanya. Hula ko, sinira niya kasi break na sila." (The broken necklace on the floor, her boyfriend gave that to her. My guess is that she broke it because they broke up.)

"Anong gagawin natin, Bossing?" (What are we going to do, Bossing?) Basilio asks her, desperate for a solution.

Alexandra wasn't the type to arrange surprises, so she had to think fast.

"Basilio, bumili ka ng Jollibee. Tapos ikaw Crispin, bumili ka ng ice cream. Yung favorite flavor niya ah?" (Basilio, go buy some Jollibee. Then you Crispin, buy some ice cream. Her favorite flavor okay?) Alexandra commands. Even in this situation, the twins had no choice to obey. "Sige po, bossing." (Yes, bossing.) They replied with no hesitation.

—

Crispin was the first one to come back with the ice cream, since the sari-sari store was just by the corner of their street. Obviously, Basilio took the longest— he had to take a tricycle to the nearest Jollibee.

After a few minutes, Basilio arrived with 2 bags of Jollibee. "Antagal mo naman, natunaw na yung ice cream." (Took you long enough, the ice cream already melted.) Crispin complains, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Bat di mo nilagay sa freezer? Parang timang 'to eh." (Why didn't you put it in the freezer? What a dumbass.) Basilo replies, settling the food on the table. Alexandra enters the room, "Andito na pala kayo. Halika na." (You guys are already here. Let's go.)

"Ano bang gagawin natin, bossing?" (What are we going to do anyway, bossing?) Basilio scratches his head out of confusion. "Malamang isusurprise natin." (Of course we're gonna surprise her.) Crispin replies sarcastically. He was still mad about what happened.

The trio went upstairs, Basilio and Crispin carrying the ice cream and Jollibee. Alexandra knocked on Y/N's door. "Bunso?" She says in a loving voice. No reply on the other side of the room. Maybe she went back to sleep again. "Papasok kami ng mga kuya mo ah?" (Your brothers and I will enter okay?) Alexandra turns the doorknob open.

Y/N turns around to see her Ate and Kuyas enter her room quietly, "Ate Alex.." She croaks out, "May dala kami ng mga kuya mo para sayo.." (Your brothers and I brought some food for you..) Alexandra gestures to the food that the twins bought. Y/N sits up from her current position, rubbing her eyes.

Basilio frowns and sets the food on her study table, then sitting beside her on the bed. "Halika nga.." (Come here..) Basilio takes his beloved sister into his arms, caressing her back to calm her sobs. "K-Kuy-ya.." She manages to say inbetween sobs, but Basilio hushes her and rocks her softly.

Alexandra elbows Crispin, who is still standing by the door. "Alam kong galit ka sa amin, pero yakapin mo naman kapatid mo." (I know that you're mad at the both of us, but go hug your sister.) Crispin realizes this and sighs. He walks over to Y/N and Basilio, who are both still locked in an embrace. Y/N felt the other side of the bed sink, she pulls herself away from the hug and turns to face Crispin.

Crispin had a disappointed yet concerned look on his face. Without any words, he pulls her into his chest, enveloping her into a hug. Y/N was sobbing like crazy. Her brothers have never seen her like this, ever. They didn't know how to react. They tried to calm her down— Crispin was still hugging her, caressing her back, while Basilio brushed her hair.

Alexandra sat on the farther edge of the bed, giving the siblings their space. Once Y/N calmed down, Alexandra spoke. "Gusto mo ba ikwento samin yung nangyari..?" (Are you comfortable telling us about what happened..?)

Y/N wipes her tears, "Nakita ko si Jerome na may ka halikan na iba-a.. T-ta—" (I saw Jerome kissing someone else-e.. T-th—) She sobs, unable to form her sentence properly.

Basilio caresses her back to help her calm down, "Dahan-dahan lang, bunso.. Hinga ka lang.." (Slowly, bunso.. Just breathe..)

Crispin frowns, "—Tapos kinausap ko siya sa labas nung venue.. Matagal na daw siyang nag ch-cheat sa akin.." (—Then I talked to him outside.. He's been cheating on me for a long t-time..)

Crispin's eyes almost bulged out of his eye sockets out of shock, Basilio's mouth hung open, and Alexandra's eyebrows raised.

"Ha?!?" The three said.

Y/N nodded hesitantly.

"Aba tangina pala ng Jerome na yan eh! Ano ba itsura nyan?" (Well fuck that son of a bitch Jerome! What does he even look like?) Crispin retorts, Alexandra grabs Y/N's phone from the floor and hands it to her. Y/N searches for a somewhat decent picture of her now ex-boyfriend on her phone, and once she did, she showed her brothers.

Jerome wasn't too good looking, he wasn't too bad looking either. He was okay— or saks lang, some would say.

"Panget naman niyan, panget din siguro ka bonding." (He's ugly, he probably isn't fun to bond with.) Basilio jokes, "Gago oo nga, ang panget. Mas pogi pa kami ng kuya mo diyan eh! Masaya pa kami ka bonding." (Damn, he is ugly. Your brother and I are more handsome than that guy! We're fun to bond with too.) Crispin strikes a pose, which made his sister smile.

Alexandra looks at the picture, then giving a disapproving look at her. "Ang panget nga. Pumangit ba siya? Di naman ganyan itsura nyan nung nakita ko." (I agree, he is ugly. Did he get uglier? He didn't look like that when I met him.) The three siblings laugh.

"Uuuy, ngumiti na siya! Yieee!" (Ooo, she's smiling!) Basilio teases her, poking her side. Crispin joins in and starts tickling her side and neck. Y/N tried to hide her laughter, but she failed. "Kuya Crispin— Kuya Basilio! Tama na!" (Kuya Crispin— Kuya Basilio! Stop it!) She giggles, then Basilio and Crispin finally stop.

"Halika na, kain na tayo ng Jollibee! May ice cream din!" (Come, let's eat Jollibee! There's ice cream too!) Basilio stands up to get the food from her table, Crispin and Alexandra help him set up the food.

"Nood tayo ng movie!" (Let's watch a movie!) Y/N suggests, Crispin and Basilio agreeing. "Anong movie, bunso?" (What movie, bunso?) Basilio asks, "Horror nalang." (Let's watch horror.) Y/N flashes a devilish smirk, because she knew that her brothers were afraid.

Alexandra walks over to her and gives her food, then sitting beside her. "Thank you, Ate!" Y/N flashes Alexandra a smile. The twins follow after Alexandra, sitting on the farther end of the bed with their food in hand.

Y/N turns on the TV to find a horror movie to watch, then she clicks on a random one just for fun. "Ano plot neto?" (What's the plot of this movie?) Basilio says while chewing, "Ewan ko Kuya.. Kinlick ko lang yan eh." (I don't know, Kuya. I just clicked on it.) Y/N shrugs, eating a spoonful of rice.

—

The rest of the day went great. After the movie, the trio stayed in Y/N's room all day. They played games, watched weird documentaries, and karaoke.

"Happy ka na?" (Are you happy now?) Alexandra asks Y/N as they watched the twins sing a duet.

Y/N smiled. At that moment, she realized that she was more than thankful to have two crazy twin brothers, and a sister that would always be there for her.

"Yup, Happy na ako. Thank you, Ate." (Yup, I'm happy now. Thank you, Ate.)

—♡—

o diba sabi ko sa inyo cute to 😴 i apologize if my translations are somewhat inaccurate! i tried my best to translate it well :((

*for the non-filo readers:

Kuya: what you call a guy/male sibling who is typically older than you. (ex. Kuya Crispin)

Ate: what you call a girl/female sibling who is typically older than you. (ex. Ate Alex)

Bunso: used by older family members as a nickname for the younger members of the family. (Bunso means the youngest member of the family)

no tags bc i dont have filo trese moots yet <\3

—♡—

also, i'm opening my requests for trese! i'll be keeping my requests for ahs and gotham closed for the mean time.

*UPDATE AS OF JUNE 29, 2021:

hi!! i have recieved an overwhelming amount of trese reqs! i am very grateful for each one. pleasr expect more trese content! <3

#trese #trese fandom #trese imagine #basilio x reader #basilio imagine #crispin x reader #crispin imagine #trese kambal #the kambal #crispin and basilio #basilio and crispin #alexandra trese #alexandra trese x reader #alexandra trese imagine #trese spoilers #trese 2021 #trese komiks #basilio trese #crispin trese #trese x reader

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

Hunter (Revenant x Reader)

Part 1 of 2 of the chapter “Hunter & Prey”. [Full chapter on AO3.]

Theme: The trios game is here, and Revenant's plan comes to fruition after days of planning.

Warnings: Male dominance, threats of violence, descriptions of violence, sharp objects, pain, bipolar, depression, mania, fluff.

Reader's Notes: Revenant (Apex Legends) x Reader, reader is female.

Writing Notes: Can I write non-fluff? Maybe? Or perhaps I need to maximize fluff to balance? I guess you'll find out.

Navigation:

First Chapter | Previous Part (Styptic & Canine)  | Next Part (Hunter & Prey)

Revenant manages to wake you up in the middle of the night with nothing but his incessant nuzzles and purring. His new chassis may be deluxe, but he can't seem to control how much he wants to show off all its features. He's holding you from behind, completely enveloping you in a warm hold, his nuzzles starting on the back of your neck and making their way around to the side of your neck. You've definitely slept some, but not quite enough to feel awake.

You reach up and begin lightly petting the top of his snout. His bovine skull emits a long, deep purr that can only be described as a very happy growl. He almost seems to be in a trance in his new body, as if something in the code is different, and he's acting out of something reminiscent of instinct. It's nice. He's almost like one of his prowlers. You extend your snout pets to reach from nose to the top of his head, and his purrs extend to last the length of each stroke. He leans into your pets, hoping for a firmer touch, which you try your best to comply with.

You roll over to face him, causing him to pull away a little. He looks at you with a little concern initially, like you might be upset, but you quickly quell him by holding his visage in both of your hands, pulling it close to yours. In truth, you're not sure what you're doing, but you can tell he likes it. His new silicone tongue licks your nose lightly, surprising you but not enough to make you pull away. He definitely has some software changes, whether he realizes it or not. He's definitely acting more like an animal. You slip your hands down to feel his giant mane, made of locks of fur. It feels both soft and fluffy; you can't help but run your fingers between each lock as you pet it. You work out any tangles you find, causing him to purr with delight over the free grooming. The tip of his nasal cavity presses into your nose, intentionally tickling you with his breaths.

"You should sleep," he manages to get out in his purrs.

"Nah, I'm just going to be watching the game tomorrow. You're the one who has to work." You whisper to him, massaging his neck through his fur.

He sighs a small moan at your massage, clearly giving up on his request in favor of getting more affection. He reaches out and holds your waist, softly brushing your sides in return. His head tilts up, revealing his throat. You carefully move your hand to touch it, moving all the way from the tip of his chin down to his clavicle with a soft touch. His breathing slows as you caress him, turning his purr into a low hum and vibrating in your hand. Eventually, his maw opens up, emitting a scary but relaxed hum and revealing his fangs. He's clearly enjoying every moment of it.

"Little skinsuit." You hear him mutter quietly. You pause for a moment, acknowledging him. He closes his mouth and locks eyes with you, pushing his nose into your face and huffing in it. He doesn't immediately speak, just nuzzles you on the side of your face, intentionally breathing into your ear to get you to wince from the tickling feeling. He shoves his tongue right on your face, licking you like a dog.

"Ack, what is it?" You lift your hands up to your face to defend your face from further onslaught. He pushes his snout into your hands and licks them instead. "Rev... Are you okay?"

He stops, pushing his snout through your hands and touching the tip of your nose.

"What are you supposed to taste like?" He finally utters. You're a bit taken aback by his question.

"I don't really know, why? Do I taste strange?"

"Honeysuckle. That's what I taste." He pulls you right into him, enveloping your whole body. "I haven't had a real tongue in so long. I don't remember what anything is supposed to taste like anymore." He sounds saddened by his conclusion, but you can't get your hands free to comfort him. You shove your face in his mane instead, snuggling up against him. You struggle to find any words to say, but try to come up with something.

"Hey, Revenant?" He doesn't respond, but it's safe to assume you have his attention. "I like you no matter what." You retreat into his mane as deep as your face can go, unsure of how he will react.

You feel his body heat up, and his claw cup the back of your head. His head tucks around your shoulder, and his legs surround you to pull you into his frame. His spare arm wraps around you, and his body starts to rattle in a purr. You carefully wrap your hands around his waist and softly caress it, unable to press into it like his other body with leather allows. You're stuck otherwise, so you make a small kissing gesture and noise into his mane, unsure if he hears you.

"Sleep, my little skinsuit. Before you convince me to forfeit this game." He purrs in your ear, brushing your hair with his fingers. You're not sure what he means; you've asked him to do no such thing, but you let yourself snuggle up against his heat, easily drifting to sleep as he coos at you.

• • • •

You wake up in a mess of damp fur, mouth open and now dry as a desert. You close your mouth and pull your face away from the sopping mats of fur, emitting a sound similar to a snore as you breathe through your nose again.

"Didn't realize you'd be the one to get me wet, skinsuit." Revenant teases, running his claws through his soaked mane. "Your dreams must be real fun for you to drool all over me like that." You snap to as you realize what you've done.

"Oh no, I'm sorry!" You pull away and try to dry him off with the sheets, to no avail.

"Don't be sorry, this is perfect." You ignore him, sitting up to dry him off at a better angle. He lets you, but you quickly abandon the sheet and go grab a towel from the bathroom. As you rub into his mane, he looks up with you with something that feels like a smile, but you can't be sure. Either way, he seems to be enjoying it. He lets you continue as he slowly sits up, leaning into your rubs and purring under his breath. You get as much of your drool out of his mane as possible, but eventually you finally have to give up and pull the towel away.

Revenant makes his way out of bed, satisfied by your work, although you don't feel the same. He stands tall over you, looking down at you with curiosity and adoration. He pushes his hand into your hair and rustles it.

"Don't look so dejected, you didn't ruin anything." He reads your mind; you feel like you've destroyed his favorite chassis with drool of all things. "Trust me, I was banking on you making a mess. It'll all work out in my favor. Shut off your little brain and let me do the thinking, just trust me." His voice growls seductively as he pokes the tip of your nose with his claw.

"Now, go eat before I force feed you. Your girlfriend should be here in an hour or so to watch the match with you." His voice is so smooth but growly. "I need to go prepare. Take care of yourself, skinsuit. I expect you here when I get back." And with that, he turns heels and confidently glides out the door, gone for the day.

You stare for a few moments, deeply hoping he will reappear so you can stare some more. Even his gait is so alluring, so confident, so strong. He is focused, powerful, and yet so secretive. You may not be sure how to respond to his flirtatious gestures, but knowing he is possessive of you is an honor he clearly doesn't give to many. What did you do? Does it matter? You want him to come back and make your face turn red again, tease you into forgetting about your depression, and treat you like his most prized possession. You want to make him melt with snout rubs, warm him, and delight him with your inherent shyness. You finally feel comfortable, but--more importantly--you feel attached.

You come back to reality, quickly scrambling to find the television remote, turning it on to the main event. They're still talking about Loba from the previous match, throwing up pictures all over the screen. How long can they talk about the same thing and still not run out of things to say? You sigh, knowing they will have to let up as the opening of the game starts.

You move over to the kitchenette and start warming up your leftovers. Chinese for breakfast is the sign of a good day, in your opinion. Some people say it's better the next day, but you can't wholly agree. It's different, not better or worse, but you love both. With your appetite finally back, you almost feel like waiting for it to finish, but you know showering while it heats up and cools off enough to eat is the wise choice.

• • • •

You answer the door, seeing Sherry bashfully waving to you with an unsure smile on her face.

"Hey Sherry, Rev told me he--"

"Put in a request for me to come and keep you company, right?"

"Yeah, I hope it's not too much trouble." You step aside so she can enter, which she does.

"So that's what he told you, but do you know what he really asked?" She reels around, fancying a tease as her finger twirled in the air.

"Oh no..." You trail off, already expecting something embarrassing. Sherry makes her way to the couch, throwing herself down and patting the seat next to her to invite you over.

"Oh, nothing that bad. He specifically asked me to make sure you were having a good time and safe. He requested that I not let you get sad, even if I had to--" she clears her throat, preparing to make a direct quote, "--encroach on my territory again." She giggles at the choice of words not even looking up to see your cheeks turn a light pink. He's definitely partially influenced by his software, that's the kind of thing a prowler would say if they could speak. Although, he is possessive on his own too.

"To be fair, you did shove my face in your tits right in front of him..." You sit down next to her, pulling your legs up to cross them.

"I dunno, the way his head tilted made me think he might have liked it." She throws her arms around you for a hug, relishing in pulling you in despite your pulling away.

"You're just as bad as he is." You sigh, accepting the hug that is forced on you.

"Oh? Maybe I can gang up on you with him sometime."

The innuendo isn't lost on you, making you grimace in further realization that you've surrounded yourself with people who tease you with questionable remarks. Sherry lets you go, turning her attention to the television.

"So, got any insider information on what we're about to see?" She lets you off the hook, for now.

"Well, sounds like our favorites are teamed up, for one." She beams, clearly excited at being able to root for the same team. "Second, Revenant has been teasing some grand plan for a while... apparently he's not fond of--" you nod towards Loba holding Revenant's scarf on the screen, "--that. He plans to erase it from everyone's minds."

"Not going to lie, that's the most exciting thing I've heard in ages leading up to a match." Sherry snuggles into the plush couch. It makes sense, she's been working here since before you started. Heck, she's the one who got you the job. She's probably heard everything when it comes to hype, and is likely unaffected by the commentator's excitement anymore. A Legend having some grand scheme for a match would be way more promising. "I'm just glad Revenant and Wattson are on the same team. It means I don't need to root against your shiny metal boyfriend." She smirks at you.

"You'd date Wattson if you could." You retort, trying to fend off her wit.

"Oh! So you are dating!" Ah, shit. You didn't mean to imply that. "So how is he? Is he everything you dreamed? Does he satisfy you?" She's so excitable, despite your answer being completely predictable.

"It's not like that." You turn away, hoping she won't push it.

"It's not like that--yet." She has to push the envelope, every time. She just can't let anything go. "I think he likes you. I bet he's thinking about you right now."

"When there's blood to be spilt? Fat chance." You finally see an opening for a comeback, and you take it. Sherry looks at you with shock, until it melts into a beaming smirk.

"It's cute how much you like him." She finally says.

"Oh, shut it." You leave it there, happy with the ceasefire, knowing you'll likely lose ground if you push it.

The television starts announcing the teams, showing Revenant with Wattson and Wraith. The camera holds on Revenant, standing in the middle and in front of his teammates in the drop ship, giving the commentators time to fawn over his unusual chassis. The floral language they use to describe the viciousness of his new body makes you chuckle as you think about how much he loves snout rubs. You feel a little badass for once; after all, you've tamed the unholy beast they seem so reverent of.

Revenant turns his head, locking optics with something off screen. The camera pans to see who, and a familiar masked face appears. If Bloodhound could have an intense look, this was it. It was a primal look, a pure determination that could only be described as a hunter locking eyes with a most dangerous prey. This is what Revenant meant. This was his plan. There was no chance this would end without a fight for the ages. His animalistic appearance only added to the allure of this soon-to-be battle.

"Hey, why don't we watch the team channel?" Sherry breaks your immersion in the game.

"The what?"

"Oh my--you've been here almost as long as me! How do you not know these things?!" You shrug, still not sure what she's talking about. "Every room gets a special team-specific feed with communications and everything. We should watch it if Wattsy and Revenant are together." She gets up and grabs the remote, clicking a button as she returns, causing the perspective to shift and the commentators to fall silent. You can hear the team instead, loud and clear. Why didn't you know about this?

Sherry bops you on the back of the head before returning her attention to the television.

The voices come through loud and clear on this channel.

"Are you sure about this?" Wattson asks, looking up at Revenant's massive frame.

"Yeah, this seems like a good way to get knocked out early." Wraith crosses her arms, sounding equally skeptical.

"I don't need you to trust me, but I'm going to be chased down. I need to drop separately and lose their trail. I need you to kit up without me, and I will meet you where you are." Revenant must be referring to Bloodhound.

"And what if we're targeted for landing as two instead of three? Not to insult your intelligence, but this seems particularly unwise." Wattson is always so sweet, even when she's not very fond of who she's speaking to.

"You'll need to drop cold. Drop within running distance to me and I will come to your aid if you're targeted." Revenant insists. Wattson sighs, clearly unsure of how to change his mind.

"Very well, please do not get us all killed, even if it is in your programming." Wattson relents.

They walk over and stand tall near the open hatch, barely keeping themselves up and not falling into World's Edge. The wind makes it impossible to hear the communications, but you see Revenant pointing to a few places and Wattson making hand motions as if to discuss options. Wraith just keeps her arms crossed, looking like a badass behind them.

Revenant steps away from the two to step further inside the ship, leaning against the ship wall and appearing to sigh. You hear a voice pick up on his communications.

"You are not as clever as you think, bráð." Revenant turns his gaze to meet Bloodhound, who is haughtily ignoring their teammates in favor of stoking these flames. "You may have disguised your scent with that of your apprentice, but all I must do is hunt your apprentice in order to find you." Revenant huffs, unfazed. "I will be disappointed if this hunt is unworthy of my skills."

With that, Bloodhound turns away to face their teammates, returning to planning. Fuse and Caustic seem completely okay with Bloodhound's previous absence from the conversation, willingly taking time to catch Bloodhound up on their plans. Revenant moves back to his team, Wattson clearly having noticed the exchange over her comms.

"Making friends, are we? I did not think you had it in you." She chuckles a little. She's a bit sassy herself, no wonder her and Sherry get along.

Revenant blows a puff of breath out his nostrils and into his mic, refusing to acknowledge her question.

"You'd be surprised, I think our local murder machine is going soft on us." Wraith pipes up in a taunting manner. Revenant looks very concerned that she might expand on her statement, but Wraith clearly is just enjoying his somewhat panicked reaction, smirking at him with delight.

"Perhaps this is a story for another day. Our drop is coming up!" Wattson chirps, clearly getting a bit excited.

The comms go quiet, spare for the blowing wind near the hatch, before they all jump into the white abyss, the drone camera attempting to follow. As the camera breaches the cloud line, you can see the trails of the team splitting, two in one direction and the other in the opposite. A message appears on the screen reading: 'calling additional drone' before it follows Wraith and Wattson down below.

"Do you want to watch your big metal hunk?" Sherry teases you. "He went off by himself, so I don't mind watching him. I'm comfortable that Wattsy will just be picking up loot safely in that area. Nobody really drops over there."

"I'm being hunted as expected. Stay alive, you two. I'll be there soon." Revenant's voice can be heard over the television.

"Yes! How do we watch him?!" You pipe up, instantly concerned.

Sherry hits a button on the remote and a new visual appears. This new camera drone isn't at Revenant yet, but staring down Bloodhound instead. Bloodhound is looking back and fourth, clearly flustered. The drone hovers, refusing to move as it may give away positions of either Legend.

Bloodhound runs up to a bunker, opens the door, and immediately puts their gloved hands over their mask, as if they're smelling something pungent. They run over to the control panel, wiping the surface and sniffing their fingers. Suddenly, they look invigorated. Impressed, perhaps? It's hard to say. Bloodhound appears to speak into their communications mic and runs off in a full sprint, disappearing from the drone's view.

The drone watches longingly after Bloodhound's trail before it suddenly jostles, making the view blurred and incomprehensible. The camera slows, eventually able to capture an image. It's Revenant's visage, clearly holding the drone at arm's length while sprinting.

"I know you're watching, little skinsuit. Hug your girlfriend if you get too scared." The drone mic isn't as clear as his team comms device, but he's still understandable. "In fact--Sherry--keep her warm for me. You have my support, but I get her back as soon as this is done. Deal?" His voice is full of vitriolic flirting, if that description makes any sense. He crushes the drone and the screen becomes static. Sherry turns to you with a devious smirk.

"Oh, he's so kinky for you." She uses her deep voice and leans into you, wrapping an arm around your back. Your cheeks burn red. "You must have something special, huh? How else did you end up with a big dom daddy like--"

"Oh my fuck, please stop Sherry!" You burst from embarrassment, burying your face in your knees as you pull into your frame. "I can't handle you two teaming up."

She laughs, but not sadistically for once. She gives you a quick hug, a pat on the back, and changes the channel to the other, working camera drone.

"I'm fine, but I have another favor to ask." Revenant's voice brings you out of your human sphere. You don't recognize this area, it's not considered a hot spot.

"You're really pushing your luck today, rustbin." Wraith stays stoic about the whole thing, attaching a scope to a Havoc.

"Let's hear him out. What is it? I cannot promise I will agree to anything, though." Wattson is undeniably kind, but sounds like she's trying to be stern.

"If Bloodhound survives to the end with us, let me single them out and fight them alone. If I fail to finish them, you can kill them and take the match without me." Revenant plans to do what he originally teased you about: defeat your first favorite Legend. How did he find out it was Bloodhound? Or does he even know?

"The chances of that seem unreasonably low, and it seems quite risky, but if you really want to I will respect your wishes." Wattson says as she rummages through a supply bin, picking up some shield cells and batteries.

"The chances are actually strangely high..." Wraith almost mutters as she loads her Havoc. "Did you bribe some people to throw or something?"

"No, I gave the Hunter a challenge." Revenant says as he begins adding improvements to his RE-45, making a satisfying chunking sound as his mag extender slots in. "My mind is on making a spectacle of our battle, and the only thing on the Hunter's mind is surviving until they can kill me. Call it actualization."

"Yeah, you'd have no reason to pay your way to the top, you enjoy this too much." Wraith tests her scope by looking down the sights, apparently pleased with her meager kit for now. "Alright team, we need more equipment, let's move."

They all begin to move towards an area known as The Harvester. You had been dragged there and touched all the controls, doors, and climbed an excessive amount of the area. It makes you tired to even think about it.

"So, I have some actual questions though." Sherry brings your attention out of the television, so you turn towards her. There's not much point in watching until there are gunshots anyway. Otherwise they're just going to be finding more gear. "What happened to your leg?" She points to the puncture wounds on your calf.

"Oh, um--well..." You accidentally revealed it when you pulled your leg up on the couch. "He has a thing where he can't control himself for a few seconds after he reboots." She pauses, processing your response. It is a really odd string of words to put together.

"So... he's homicidal, and if you don't get away--"

"No, not homicidal. There is zero chance of that. More like possessive and overly passionate about it." You hope it makes sense. She pauses again, trying to process the meaning behind the words.

"So it's a sexual thing?" Of course she gets it all wrong.

"No, more like a 'nobody can have you' kind of thing, and then he got too worked up and clenched too hard."

"So... are you sure about this whole thing? What if this keeps happening? That's not okay." She seems genuinely concerned, and a bit unhappy.

"It was an accident, honestly. Sort of like tripping into someone and knocking them over." You try to make it as mild-seeming as possible, but you know she won't fully buy it. She sighs, crosses her arms, and shrugs a little. That's enough acceptance for now.

"So, follow-up question: are you sure you're safe?" It might as well be the same question, but you relent.

"I'm pretty certain."

"That's a horrible answer!" Obviously she'd be a bit upset that it's not complete certainty, but how can you lie to her? Nothing is completely certain.

"It's complicated, but this is a risk I'm absolutely willing to take." You surprise yourself with your own calmness. "I know this seems insane, but my life has only been better for every crazy decision I've made, and I need this to happen. Life is short these days, even if I die I want to do something better than nothing." Sherry stares at you with a dumbfounded look, apparently impressed by your short speech.

"I guess that makes sense, but if stuff gets too violent... please leave." She averts her gaze, looking down at her feet.

"I promise, but really, I'm quite happy." You hug her, and she hugs you back for a moment.

"So he must be really good in bed then, huh?" She ruins the moment, she absolutely has to. It's practically her purpose in life at this point.

"I don't know, to be honest." You try to sound as serious as possible to avoid further teasing.

"What? Are you kidding? He makes it sound like you guys are fu--"

"Don't say it please." You put your face in your hands, questioning why you're still so easily embarrassed by these things. You're always blushing, which seems to goad people like Revenant and Sherry into teasing you. It is a little fun, though. Their power trip of teasing seems to make them both so happy, and in a weird way you share in that happiness as a willing victim.

"Well, okay, but I hope you get some soon," she snickers, "Honestly I don't think it'll be much longer now, anyway."

Gunshots ring out on the television.

"I've taken hits! If you've got a sniper, try to cover me!" Wraith sounds hurt, despite phasing towards the opponents on a hill nearby. Revenant pulls a Longbow he must have found recently, doing his best to take shots at the opponents while Wraith closes the gap. The scope must not be the best, because you can clearly see his stature get frustrated as he whiffs his shots. The return fire seems just as poor, hitting at Revenant's feet and the wall behind him, leaving gaping bullet holes. Suddenly, you hear a crack as Revenant's shot lands, then another.

"One closest to you is weak," he quickly states.

"Got it, engaging." Wraith barely finishes her statement before she's downed her opponent. Without the fancy graphics of the public broadcast, you're not sure who is on the enemy team, especially with how far the drone is.

"Engaging on the opposite side! Someone is alone!" Wattson suddenly appears on the opposite side as Wraith, immediately engaging another body as Wraith moves in towards the final contender in the middle. The gunshots are really going now, but the camera drone has been staying near Revenant, who is hanging back taking sniper shots.

"I'm down, but he's hurting!" Wattson's voice comes over comms, prompting Revenant to switch to his RE-45 and sprint to close the distance. The drone lags behind slowly, not closing enough distance to make out the opponents.

Wraith curses over the audio as she and her opponent go down simultaneously, leaving one weakened contender to Revenant. He's closing the gap excessively fast; it looks like they're trying to use a med kit.

"I'm not wasting the bullet." You definitely watch Revenant's silhouette stab the other before the med kit is finished, prompting the whole team to be deathboxed. The drone suddenly kicks into high speed, catching up to Revenant. It makes sense that the drones shouldn't give away positions, but this was a little frustrating at times. They either have to stay side-by-side or it has to hang back.

Revenant goes to Wraith first, pulling a medical syringe in his fist. He pauses, looking down on her for a moment. He twirls the syringe in his fingers, stopping it so his thumb lands on the plunger and his pointer and middle finger brace the flange on the barrel. He kneels down to her, pinches the muscle near her shoulder, and injects it quickly. He tosses the empty needle in a different pocket on his belt and helps her to her feet. Wraith is staring at him with a strange but subtle smile. He huffs at her and turns to tend to Wattson.

"So you did pay attention." Wraith sounds soft for a moment, but it doesn't get a reaction out of Revenant, who is doing the same to Wattson.

"Have you ever thought of the long term effects of all these injections?" Wattson asks as Revenant helps her up.

Wraith clears her throat loudly, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, it can do crazy things for sure." Wraith says with a heavy layer of frustration.

"Oh, I am so sorry, I did not mean to dredge up old memories." Wattson shakes her hands in front of her as a motion of apology.

"Yeah, science these days tends to be used to ruin the lives of as many people as possible." Revenant adds.

They all stand there in a circle, silent. It's not an awkward silence, it's a mournful silence. Revenant's stare is deep in the distance. Wraith's body language exudes frustration over past traumas. Wattson looks at the ground, almost like in secondhand guilt for being a woman of science. The stillness hangs for an uncomfortable amount of time, before Wraith breaks it.

"Nothing we can do, we are who we are now." She sighs. "We're top seven now. We need to find some other deathboxes and pick up better gear. We're going to stay sneaky until we're down to the last two." She immediately begins running towards the center of the new circle, close to the giant ice-like structure known as the Epicenter. Revenant and Wattson immediately move to follow. More boring running for a while.

"Who do you think was on that team?" Sherry asks, understanding that there's not much point in watching these segments.

"I'm not sure either. Sneaky play is boring, but I can't argue with the results. I'm going to run and get snacks, do you want anything?" You stand up, wanting to move around after a long while of sitting. Sherry immediately lays down on the couch, taking up all the space you left.

"Sure, give me anything with that cheese powder crack on it." She shoots you finger guns.

• • • •

"Sherry, I'm not getting you more chips."

"Please?"

"No, you've literally had three and a half bags, you're covered in cheese dust, and I'm pretty sure you're an addict. How strong is your metabolism, anyway?" You're brushing dust off the couch, at this rate you might as well get a vacuum. You ate a half, and then Sherry destroyed the rest plus all the other bags you got. You wonder how on earth she keeps her thinner figure like this. She must be cut from a completely different cloth than you.

"I have the same metabolism as all of my tapeworms." She stretches, and attempts to wipe the dust off her pants. "Sadly this has been pretty uneventful so far. They're being so careful. Three teams left now, and it looks and sounds like the other two are fighting it out." The gunshots are weak and in the distance.

"We're kitted as best as we can be, we should approach this like we did last time." Wraith has a 30-30 Repeater now, extremely well-modded.

"Did you notice that we're in the circle and they are not? We should set up a bit of an obstacle course here!" Wattson chirps.

"We can actually use it to attract our opponents and engage them from afar too." Wraith is beginning to smile, seeing a good path to victory.

"Leave Bloodhound for me." Revenant mumbles, just as a reminder.

"You'll get your wish, we've got this." Wraith's smile is unusual for her, but it's hard not to be at least a little happy in the face of such a massive victory.

Wattson begins setting up electric gates in the area as the circle closes in from the distance, creating a strange set of gates around the Survey Camp, trying to get around and weave through cover. Wraith finds a spot away from the tangled mess, Revenant joining her.

"Do you think they'll win?" You hold your breath, not as sure as Wraith is.

"Of course, Wattson is with them!" Sherry pumps her fists together as if she didn't just eat an inhuman amount of crisps. How can she move so jovially with a stomach that must weigh as much as a brick?

Gunshots ring out, Revenant takes sniper shots at the last remaining team as they escape the incoming heat wall.

"Why did you give our position away!?" Wraith punches him in the shoulder, but he doesn't flinch.

"Use your portal to charge them, hit Bloodhound in the leg, and come back immediately through the portal. Let them follow." Revenant has no fluctuations in his voice. He's dead serious.

"This better work!" Wraith yells as she disappears, leaving a strange portal hole next to Revenant.

"Wattson, come throw down your Interceptor Pylon here, we need to make sure they come into the portal after Wraith." Revenant seems to have thought this through, but why does he want to fight up close?

Wattson throws it down and it immediately stops an incoming Knuckle Cluster, barely getting it up and running in time. Some incoming grenades meet the same fate.

"Excellent, thank you Wattson." Revenant sounds excited. Wattson pauses in minor confusion.

"You're... thanking me? You never do tha--"

Wraith appears in front of Fuse, Bloodhound, and Caustic. She pulls out her 30-30 Repeater and nails Bloodhound in the leg, taking many shots herself before retreating into the portal. Bloodhound takes a knee and begins using a med kit as Caustic and Fuse jump into the portal.

Revenant is unarmed on the other side, all his guns, grenades, recovery tools, and ammo on the ground around him. He's holding his sharpened arm right up against the portal's center, practically posing. Fuse first appears and is immediately skewered through the chest, exhaling in surprise. Revenant flicks his entire arm to the side, causing Fuse's corpse to fly off to the side, blood spewing everywhere out of the hole in his chest. He is deathboxed before he hits the ground. Revenant's other hand is already poised for an encore.

Caustic comes through second, taking the sharpened point in the neck. The blood is immediate and generous. Revenant lifts his body off his feet, letting the blood roll down his stabbing arm and drip everywhere. Caustic drops a live Gas Grenade as he dies, spitting blood. Revenant throws his body in much the same manner, and Caustic is deathboxed midair.

"Well, shit, that worked." Wraith has almost healed her injuries completely, Wattson watching over her and armed to the teeth. "I guess the rest is all yours, maniac."

"Do not make us wait too long, please! I am looking forward to this win!" Wattson helps Wraith up and begins to run in the other direction to escape the spreading gas.

Revenant immediately starts sprinting towards Bloodhound in a straight line with no gear of any kind. Not even a gun. He's thoroughly coated in fresh blood and looks like a monstrosity, surely he's going to be shot down.

"Is he trying to die?!" Sherry screams at the television. "They almost have it! What even is this?!" You wish you could defend Revenant, but in truth you have the same questions.

No gunshots come though. Bloodhound stands there, newly recovered thanks to their med kit. They're situated right near the tangle of electrical gates, arms crossed and waiting patiently. It doesn't take long for Revenant to meet them, standing tall and unarmed a few feet away, locking their gaze. Bloodhound begins throwing their guns, grenades, health items, and ammo to the side. They finish, staring down their opponent in a strange silence. You're glad you're on a private channel, this would be ruined by any crowd sounds or commentators talking over it.

Finally, Bloodhound reaches behind them and pulls out a beautiful axe. It looks ancient but well-maintained, certainly a relic from their sordid history as a hunter.

"Congratulations kill leader, how many did you kill to get to this moment?" Revenant asks.

"Fourteen bodies lay behind me." Bloodhound states very plainly. That's an insane number. Revenant growls happily at their answer. "I have fought hard to meet this moment. I will confess, you are more clever than I expected. I am sorry for underestimating you before. You brought your apprentice here and ensured she left her scent everywhere, then disguised yourself with the same scent."

You're stunned into silence. All that running around was to literally make it impossible for Bloodhound to hunt by scent alone. You almost felt happy to be a small part of this, in some way, but also a little frustrated at how hard that day was. It explains why Revenant took your shirt before, why it came back so grimy, why you had to touch everything, and why he wasn't upset that you drooled all over his mane. Is this simulacrum also a conniving genius?

"I noticed you didn't use your sonar to find me earlier." Revenant pries a little.

"It would be disrespectful to the honor of this hunt." Bloodhound is beginning to sound excited in a bloodthirsty manner. "You also have come unarmed, so I meet your challenge as my ancestors would."

Bloodhound shimmers the blade of the axe in the sunlight, proudly caressing its blade. They've got one knife, an axe, and their wits. Nothing more.

Revenant begins to sidestep, Bloodhound sidestepping to match, never leaving each other's gaze. They're circling each other, neither making the first move. Bloodhound breaks the silence with a thunderous declaration.

"May the Allfather bless this hunt!" They lunge forward, axe at the ready.

Revenant leaps to the side, avoiding them, immediately lunging to counter. His giant maw is wide open, going straight for Bloodhound's head. Bloodhound ducks, and plunges one of their smaller knives into Revenant's gut. They push the knife in hard enough that Revenant buckles at the torso and falls backwards, letting the knife slide out in Bloodhound's grasp.

Revenant's clawed foot hits Bloodhound right in the breathing mask, causing them to stumble backwards long enough for Revenant to get on his feet. Revenant lunges again, but uses his arm length to pick Bloodhound up and toss them through the electrified fence. Bloodhound lands on the other side, obviously hurting. A knife comes flying through the fence and chunks into Revenant's chest. Revenant grabs at it, clearly in pain from both his hits so far. He leaves it in despite his pain, knowing that Bloodhound can't have it back this way without getting close.

Revenant strafes to the side to see around the electric fence just to find nothing there. They've vanished in the web. Revenant begins to prowl around the inside of the fence with all its jagged nooks, looking for anything. Revenant keeps turning to look behind him, clearly expecting some kind of attack from behind. The heat wall closes in on the fenced in area, leaving only half of the area available. Revenant watches as the wall moves up close to his face, then begins to turn to leave.

Bloodhound leaps onto Revenant's back from behind the heat wall, their garb charred a bit from hiding beyond it. Bloodhound gets their axe around Revenant's throat and pulls so the handle begins to choke him, but Revenant throws himself backwards into the heat wall, burning Bloodhound. They shove the axe upwards in an uppercut-like fashion, stunning Revenant so they have time to dismount and leave the heat wall before swinging for another blow. The axe lands in Revenant's hip, but Revenant grabs it and holds it in place, lunging forward with his open jaw to bite. Bloodhound jumps back, avoiding the bite, but losing their axe in the process.

Bloodhound shows no fear, immediately lunging for Revenant's lower body, taking advantage of his shifted center of gravity and forcing him to fall forward, right on the knife in his chest. Revenant emits a horrid sound which is only compounded when Bloodhound pulls the axe from his hip. Bloodhound swings for the head, but Revenant shifts so his horn takes the brunt. Revenant grabs Bloodhound's leg and in one swift motion gets to his feet and throws Bloodhound like a ragdoll across the field, away from the fences. Revenant sprints towards them, leaning so far forward that he's nearly on all fours. It's bestial. Bloodhound is able to sit up just in time to save themself from a massive bite, but only by shoving their axe in Revenant's jaw to force it to stay open.

Revenant takes the opportunity to get his hands around Bloodhound's neck, claws fully out. Bloodhound retaliates by using their free arm to pull the knife from Revenant's chest, causing him to reel in pain. He still is unable to close his mouth, and Bloodhound isn't choking fast enough to save him from getting his throat slashed by the now freed knife. Revenant is forced to release Bloodhound completely and staggers backwards, holding his own throat now instead. You could be mistaken, but it looked like the inside of his mouth might have been injured from biting the axe too.

Bloodhound immediately throws the knife again, hitting Revenant in the thigh. He falls to a knee, giving Bloodhound enough time to get up and lunge, landing the axe right in Revenant's mask. With a twist of the wrist, their axe is free and Revenant's mask is cracked. Revenant's pain seems to convert to adrenaline, as he lets go of his throat and grabs Bloodhound's leg out from underneath them, causing them to land on the back of their head before Revenant goes in for a stab. Bloodhound deflects Revenant's arm stab with their axe. Revenant's arm chunks into the ground next to Bloodhound's head instead.

Revenant is making a disconcerting wheezing noise. There's tons of damage all over his body, and the pain must be unreal at this point. Bloodhound is banged up too, taking mostly concussive damage to the head. Their chest rises and falls rapidly, but you can't hear them pant through the breathing mask. Despite all the apparent hurt, you do not expect either of them are done.

Revenant lunges down for the bite and nails it this time, his maw right around Bloodhound's head. Bloodhound is bleeding immediately, but takes the opportunity to pull the knife again from his thigh. Revenant, now wise to the possibilities, uses his whole body to fling Bloodhound by their head to the side. Revenant is finally able to stand up completely, but he limps a little.

Bloodhound's head is bleeding pretty badly now, their blood splattered on the ground from being bit and thrown. They quickly get to their feet but quiver a bit while doing so. They seem confident now having their knife and axe at their side again.

"Allfather is pleased by this battle." Bloodhound states very factually. "Were it not for my weapons, I surely would have lost this fight long ago."

"Hate to break it to you, but you're still going to lose." Revenant's voice sounds wispy from exhaustion. He limps closer, and Bloodhound stands their ground.

Revenant ignores his limp just long enough to lunge, this time claws out and jaw open. Bloodhound sidesteps, but Revenant recovers quickly and turns to lunge again. Bloodhound is ready, and uses both the knife and the axe to stab and brutally chunk into his back as they take a massive bite to the waist, as well as an arm stab to the thigh. Bloodhound just begins wailing his blades into Revenant's back, who seems unwilling to release the hold he has. Bloodhound's waist is dripping blood and the cloth on their outfit is soaked crimson. Revenant's body seems to be giving out on him, but not before Revenant uses his spare arm for a stab towards the chest.

Bloodhound clearly plans to take it. They're unable to dodge or move, but before Revenant can land the blow, Bloodhound plunges the knife into Revenant's throat. Revenant's stab finishes, but his chassis goes limp right as Bloodhound is deathboxed from the stab to the chest.

The final camera shot of the fight is of Revenant's bestial chassis limply hanging off the edge of Bloodhound's deathbox, his head resting on the top like a mourner on a coffin. Then Revenant is deathboxed, ending the match.

The camera shifts to Wraith and Wattson who were watching the fight from afar, now waving in victory to the camera and celebrating. Wattson holds a Nessie plush toy over her head in victory, but where did it come from? As the camera zooms in, you see she's surrounded by a few. What the heck?

Sherry and you sit, stunned in silence. Sherry changes the channel to the public broadcast, and you hear the crowds reeling in cheers at the primal violence they just got to enjoy. The commentators are losing their minds over the ending, calling it 'The Allfather's Hunt' and practically gushing at the seams over the imagery of the Hunter and the Prey dying together. Wraith and Wattson are showered in confetti and champagne, although Wraith doesn't seem as much into the celebrations as Wattson is. Revenant really did make a spectacle out of the whole thing. Nobody was going to care about 'Loba the Scalper' after this.

Sherry seems conflicted. Normally she would be on her feet, screaming loud enough to warrant a noise complaint whenever Wattson wins. However, now she seems worried over what she just saw. She turns to you.

"This guy can and might kill you." She speaks very quickly and quietly. "I just watched him kill with no weapons, just brute strength. He can throw people and crush them and stab them and bite them, and he can absolutely break every bone in your body if he wanted." She looks down at her hands, as if to soak in the frailty of humanity. "I don't want you to end up like that."

"Sherry, I know. Trust me, I do. He's the strongest, most terrifying person I've ever met, but I'm not and will never be his target." You speak confidently. "He finds some kind of comfort in me and has taken a liking to me. He will not intentionally hurt me. Unintentionally it may happen, but he seems to know how to handle that when it does happen."

Sherry sighs.

"Do you love this guy that much?" She asks.

You pause. It's not a word you've really used yet to describe how you feel. Like, sure, but not full-on love. You think about it. You don't like throwing that word around.

"I am that fond of him, yes." You finally say. "I just want to see where it goes."

"If you're sure, just please don't get gored." Sherry stands up, a concerned look still plastered on her face. "I'm going to go clean and decorate Wraith and Wattson's room for them. I would do this one too, but Revenant never seems to like it."

"Thanks for hanging out, Sherry. Don't worry, I'll be okay, I promise."

Sherry nods a little, then leaves the room, allowing you to stretch and relax until Revenant gets back. You wonder how long it will take this time.

• • • •

It's mid-afternoon, by now all the broadcasts should be finished up on all the different planets, where it should be later in the day. Morning matches are a theme here, but it lines up perfectly with the end-of-the-workweek evenings for other planets. It also means the lighting during the match is perfect. Sometimes the broadcast will be held off to make sure it shows at prime time on each planet, but that always means tourism to the planets where it's shown live is excessive.

Right about now, this planet should be clearing out from everyone who wanted to watch the Apex Game live today. Talos probably had it worse today, if you can call tons of tourism worse. After all, they must make bank in souvenirs, assuming the locals are one to sell souvenirs. You question if the people Bloodhound came from would be the type to do so. Probably not. Anyone who is willing to though: they must be rich.

It's been a few hours and despite last time, you cannot shake the anxiety that Revenant might never come back.

There's a knock at the door, to which you quickly go and open it.

"Oh, hello, just dropping this off, as requested!" This stout but strong mustached man with permanently squinted eyes rolls in a large deathbox on a caddy. He must work in a different section of the volunteers than you did, otherwise you would recognize him. He carefully lays the deathbox on the floor. You move to help, but remember when Revenant collapsed on you and realize you're not strong enough for this. This guy is impressively strong to be able to carry it. He wipes a bead of sweat from his head after finishing, and begins to roll his caddy out.

"Have a nice day ma'am!" He waves goodbye and shuts the door after himself. You turn to stare down at the deathbox.

Open it.

You want so badly to open it. You have to know. Yes, you need to know. Does his chassis really have all the parts a human does, or was his flirtatious teasing all a grand bluff?

Open it.

This box may not contain all the answers, but perhaps it can solve that one question. Does he really like you that way? Is it possible that he could like you that way? Or is it possible regardless of his body?

Open it.

Is this an invasion of privacy? Probably, but since when has he given you the same courtesy? If you're lucky enough, he won't be back in time to even notice.

Open it.

However, you don't think it's right. You meander to the bed and sit down, turning on the television to see more of the commotion. They're not going to stop talking about 'The Allfather's Hunt' anytime soon. This isn't a good distraction.

Open it.

Forget it, you start flipping through the channels. There's some sickeningly optimistic and colorful kid's show. Now it's news, listing off dozens of people murdered just in the city streets yesterday, per usual. Now it's a show about an unsolved murder from a few years ago. Now it's a documentary about the Frontier War. This isn't working.

Open it.

You grab your badge out of your pocket and leave the room, freezing outside of the door. Right, there's not a single soul back from the medical bay to talk to. You didn't know Wattson well enough to go knock on her door, and you're not sure where Wraith was moved to after Revenant busted her door. Even if you did, you don't know her that well either.

Open it.

You scan your card and reenter Revenant's room, stagger over to the box, and mess with the latch. Once unlocked, a button releases the door and it springs open.

Tears well up in your eyes. Why did you do this to yourself? He's lifeless, bent up into a tangle of limbs and parts to fit into the box. What did you expect? He looks like an old sarcophagus that was forcefully shoved into a box he could not fit in. His corpse is so beautiful, but so empty and void of life simultaneously, like an art piece left to rot in the elements. You can't help yourself. You have to get him out of there.

You move to one side of the box and leverage your legs to begin tipping the box. It's very heavy, but you have to do this. The box tips over its center of balance and rotates the rest of the way over, spilling Revenant's corpse onto the floor. You pull the box back upright so the opening faces the ceiling again, and get back up to run over to his body. His chassis is laid out now like a more normal corpse would be, although his limbs have fallen where they may.

You crouch down, letting your tears hit the chassis with a hollow thumping sound. You hold his hand, but there's nothing: no squeeze, no sharp points, not even a bashful resistance to such an act of affection. No amount of knowledge that he will come back can fix how you feel right now.

You struggle to pull his body into your lap. This may be lighter than his classic metal body, but it's still difficult to move it around. You silently weep, finally getting his crushing weight on your legs. You lean forward into his nuzzle and rub it, hoping for that awkwardly stifled joy he shows when he likes something. There's nothing, his eyes are void.

You begin to cry out loud.

You carefully cradle his head, ignoring the matted fur in the way. You rock back and fourth, crying into his cheek and begging him internally to wake up. The tears flow around and into the giant crack in his mask. He had wounds all over him, and you trace your fingers around each one. Hope is worthless; it can't fix him. You touch his horns he seemed so proud of. There's a massive break in one of them and the horn is almost loose off his skull. So much damage. So much pain. Your crying gets louder.

Why did you open it? Why did you have to be curious? At first you just wanted to look to see if he was bluffing about this body having sexual mods. You didn't bargain for the excessive and overwhelming grief of seeing him dead. You rock his body, mourning in utter despair, cradling his head so close to your chest that it hurts. You squeeze your eyes shut to try to hold back the tears, but it flows right through. Maybe not seeing the body will help.

You continue to sob and rock him for what feels like an hour. In truth, it's probably only ten or so minutes. It hurts so bad, even with your eyes closed the image might as well be etched on your eyelids. Your nose is stopped up from the crying, but you cannot find the energy to try to wipe it so it can breathe again. Your only air flows through your mouth in painfully hitched gasps between sobs of agony.

Suddenly, something cold and metal begins wiping away your tears.

You wince in surprise, but as you open your eyes you see nothing. You look side to side, panning the entire room, but there really is nothing. The door didn't open, you would have heard that. If Revenant was here, you would have seen him, right? You make sure to turn fully around and look behind you, maybe he's in your blind spot. No, nothing. What even was that? You turn back around.

You take a deep breath and sigh in disappointment, a few more tears escaping your eyes.

Hands cup around your cheeks, drying them again. You look up. He's on the ceiling, attached by his feet, but holding his hands downward to touch you. He's back in his normal, red body. He carefully releases himself from the ceiling one leg at a time, being careful to step behind you. He curls around you in a hug so your back is against him. He carefully pulls you backwards so the chassis in your lap rolls off of you, and he envelops you in his cool embrace. He uses a foot to push the corpse further away from you. He grabs your jaw to force you to face him as he leans his head forward to look at you.

"Why are you crying?" His voice is plain and without emotion, but his face--his eyes--have life. You begin to cry again in some kind of disbelief, forcing your body to turn towards him and hug him back. You grip the red straps on his chest and press your face against his metal torso, letting the tears roll down him. You won't let go. This one is alive.

He brushes your hair with his claws, lightly scratching your scalp as he does. His other hand rubs into your back, careful to press into your spine and knead it. His legs bunch up and cross around you.

"I was secretly hoping you would snoop around in my deathbox, looking for something you shouldn't." He sighs into your ear. "Instead you cry over me. What a disappointment when I was hoping to catch you being naughty. Do you really feel that attached to me already?" He squeezes you a little, but you can't stop crying to answer him. "You must, otherwise you wouldn't cry for me like this, despite knowing I will always come back."

He continues to try to soothe you as best as he can. He's warmed up and is now reflecting heat back at you. He nuzzles his mask into your shoulder. He takes breaks from brushing your hair to try to wipe away any tears that'd don't make it onto his chest.

"Idiot." He lets out a small chuckle. "You're making me soft." You can't respond, but your tears are finally beginning to run dry. "You know, they say the best way to know if you're loved is to attend your own funeral. Obviously, that's impossible for most. Thank you for attending mine, and showing me this." He unwraps his legs, scoops his arms under you, and stands as he lifts you up with him. You refuse to let go of his straps, although your arms have to extend to hold on as you lie back in his hold.

He brings you over to the bed and lays you down carefully. He touches his mask to your forehead, and begins to pull away. He catches on your grip on his straps. You're still trembling a bit and probably still have that ugly crying face you're self-conscious of, but you can't help it. He carefully starts to pry your fingers off of the straps, but you grip even harder. You're not letting go. You won't let go. What if he leaves?

He sighs, recognizing your distress. He lets go of your fingers and scoops you back up again, this time so you're sitting against his shoulder. He's so excessively strong, he barely even seems to be bothered by the weight of you. He walks you over to the computer desk and sits down with you, leaving you in his lap. His hands wrap around you and begin typing on a keyboard. You carefully touch his face, not paying attention to what he's doing.

He pauses, looks to you, and takes your hand for a moment. He pulls it to the ridge of his mask that has a lip-like tint and angle, pressing the back of your hand into it for a moment before releasing your hand and returning his attention to the computer.

For the first time since you opened that deathbox, you trust what you're seeing. He's back, he's alive, and he's okay. You let your body limply lean into his shoulder, release his straps, and let him handle your weight with his body. You close your eyes and remember how to breathe normally. There's no reason to have a panic attack anymore.

"Take a nap. You're more exhausted than I am somehow. I'll wake you up soon." You feel his hand forcefully guide your head over his shoulder where it can rest comfortably. "Don't argue with me, now. Just do as I say."

You really are exhausted from all the excitement and emotion. You snuggle up against him as he shifts his body to fit your comfort. He makes a slow, heavy breathing sound in rhythm with his typing, and occasionally lightly runs his fingers over your bare skin. You're gone soon after.

#revenant #my fanfic #my fanfiction #apex legends revenant #apex revenant #revenant apex #revenant x reader #revenant apex legends #apex legends #female reader #fanfic #fanfiction #creative writing #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: depression #tw: mania #tw: bipolar #tw: dom #tw: sharp #tw: threats

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

scopaesthesia 👁️ chapter 6

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5

Warnings: nonconsensual sex, death, murder, violence, stalking, paranoia, blood, gore, bloodplay, knifeplay, suicidal thoughts.

This is dark!Bucky Barnes with dark!Steve Rogers as well and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your situation becomes even clearer

Note: I’ve been working my ass off but I managed to eke this out after sleeping off the pain.

I appreciate y’all reading and your reactions have been the highlight of writing!

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

A tray of food sat untouched just inside the door. Its predecessor had been retracted with a sigh from the other side and replaced with a fresh meal. You had refused either, only drinking the water as you kept mostly to the bed.

When you moved, it reminded you of what Bucky had done to you. The tender cuts throbbed and you hissed through your teeth as you hugged your only pillow in an effort to get warm. You’d even torn the fitted sheet from the mattress and wrapped yourself in it.

You cleaned your cuts carefully every now and then and replaced the bandages. Mostly, you stared at the wall or that little lens above the door. He was watching you. Always. The thought made you shudder and kept you awake when your body tried to coax you to sleep. Those minutes that you did manage to rest were sparse and disjointed.

When at last the door did open again, you didn’t flinch. You stayed as you were, sat on the bed against the wall with the sheet draped over you. You kept your head down as the tray was carefully pushed by the door and lifted by your visitor. Footsteps neared you and he cleared his throat. You finally looked up, startled by Steve’s gentle blue eyes.

He held the tray in one arm and a quilt folded over the other.

“You should eat,” he placed the food before you. His eyes lingered on the bandages and he gave a sad smile. He turned and placed the blanket on the foot of bed. “If you do, I’ll take you for a shower.”

You scowled and crossed your arms over your knees. You looked away. You shook your head as tears picked at your eyes. You sniffed.

“Of course you’re in on it,” you croaked. “Of course… I’m so stupid.”

He exhaled and the mattress dipped as he sat. “Will you eat for me?”

“Don’t… don’t talk to me like that. We’re not friends.” You hissed as you kept your eyes averted. “We never were. I was just your victim. Your plaything. So,” you gritted your teeth. “What you do want from me, huh? Don’t worry, Bucky’s already softened me up for you.”

“Shhhh,” he reached over and touched your knee, his touch warm through the thin sheet. “I’m not a monster.”

“No, just the monster’s assistant.”

“I brought you a blanket and you have food. It’ll only get worse if you’re stubborn.” He warned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You snapped and finally looked at him again. “How can you-- Did you help kill those girls? You must’ve done something. Helped him set me up. Maybe it was you on the phone--”

“I did what Bucky needed me to do.” He said evenly. “You don’t understand, sweetie--”

“Don’t.” You bit out. “Don’t call me that.”

He pressed his lips together before he continued and his eyebrow twitched slightly. “Bucky’s sick and those girls are just another symptom. What was done to him, it changed him and I’ve watched him fight to control it and he only finds that control with you.”

“No, no, that’s bullshit.”

“If you’re so worried about those other girls, if you feel bad about them at all, you will help Bucky.”

“Help him?” You scoffed. “You’re both insane.”

“If you help him,” he carried on, “He won’t hurt anyone else.”

“Just me?”

“No, no, that’s not-- I didn’t know he was going to use knives.”

“It didn’t matter, did it? He still did it.”

Steve chewed his lip. You shoved his hand away from your leg and sidled away from him. He huffed and stood. He moved the tray across the bed. His hands went to his hips as he watched you.

“You can eat when you get back but you should shower.” He said. “Keep yourself clean, maybe get warmed up.”

You shrugged and rubbed your cheek. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Look, I’m trying to help you,” he neared and bent to catch your eye, “It will be good to stretch your legs.”

“Just leave me alone. Let me die down here. We both know that’s how this ends.” You snarled.

He twined his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. “I can and will make you but I didn’t come here to hurt you so I’ll give you one more chance.”

You blinked at him and tilted your head. His fingers bent slightly and you knew he meant it. Your thighs rubbed together and reminded you of your cuts. You couldn’t handle much more pain. You looked away and made your way off the bed, keeping the sheet around you snugly.

“Can I have some clothes, too?” You asked.

“I tried but… right now, that’s not going to happen.” He took your arm gently and led you to the door. Your legs were stiff and slow but he was patient as he opened the door. “But I’ll ask again, okay?”

You were silent as he took you into the hall. He turned you and guided you away from your cell.

“You know, a blanket and clothes… it doesn’t make you any better than him.” You said.

He stopped in front of a sliding metal door and hooked his fingers in the handle. He pulled it open, inside was a shower in the closet-like space and nothing else. Just a showerhead and cold tiles. A neat line of bottles sat atop a single shelf.

“But it might make me preferable to him,” he leaned in. “I can be a lot nicer.”

You searched his face and his eyes slipped to the top of the sheet. He reached over and tugged on a wrinkle of fabric.

“You’ll have to leave this with me. I’ll get you a towel.”

You shivered as he pulled harder and you let go of the sheet. You couldn’t look at him as you were left entirely naked. His fingers tickled your hips and he nudged you into the shower.

“Take your time,” he cooed. 

He pulled the door shut with an echoing clang. The latch twisted into place to secure the door and a little flicked on. You stared at the showerhead but could not figure how to turn it on. It suddenly shook and burst to life; you realised it was controlled from outside.

Steam rose around you and enveloped you in the tight space. Despite your circumstance, the water was soothing. You reached for the strawberry scented soap and scrubbed yourself, peeling away the bandages as they began to wilt. You felt as if you couldn’t get clean but you tried desperately.

You paused as you heard voices. You stepped closer to the door as they were muffled by the metal and the steady buzz of the shower.

“Come on, Buck. We had a deal. I didn’t do all this for nothing.” Steve said.

“She’s mine,” Bucky growled. “I told you.”

“You know I won’t be too rough. Not like you.” 

“Why? You didn’t even want to do this in the first place?”

There was a silence, then a soft chuckle. “She’s sweet and my cock’s been hurting for days.”

“She’s not some toy.”

“Isn’t she?”

There was a sigh and a tisk.

“Jesus Christ, Bucky. I helped you clean up all those messes and I get what? You haven’t even said thank you. Not once.”

Another silence as you held your breath. It disgusted you to think they were bartering over you like an object.

“No cutting.” Bucky said tersely.

“Not into that,” Steve retorted.

“And don’t even go near her ass.”

“Aww…” Steve bemoaned.

“No kissing on the lips. You get one hour.”

“Can I dress her up?” Steve asked, his voice laced with sinister glee.

“Fine, but take the clothes with you after.”

“See, Buck, isn’t that what friends do? Share?”

You shoved yourself away from the door. You were breathless and weak. This couldn’t be real. None of it. It was so fucked up. It had to be a nightmare.

The showerhead died and the lock clicked. The door opened suddenly and the steam cleared. Bucky unfolded a towel and held it out. You quivered but made yourself step out. He wrapped your wordlessly in the fluffy towel and looked to Steve.

“Take her back to her room then.” He said sternly.

You snarled as Steve neared and for a moment you were sandwiched between the two men. As you turned, you looked at Bucky in the face, a wrinkle set deep in his forehead as he watched you.

“You’re a fucking monster,” you spat, “I fucking hate you.”

His jaw ticked and his nostrils flared. He stared at you then slowly looked behind you at Steve and nodded.

“Two hours.” He smirked, “And don’t be afraid to leave some marks.”

Steve ushered you away from Bucky. You dragged your feet as you let him and he stopped you before the same door with the slot. He reached out and touched your bare shoulder.

“I’ll be back soon, sweetie,” he purred and you curled your lip, “Bucky said I can bring you some clothes.”

“Oh, I know exactly what Bucky said,” you huffed.

His brows shot up and he snickered. “Ah, well then, you’ll be ready when I return, won’t you?” He opened the door and held it open. “Don’t forget to eat. You’ll need your energy.”

You frowned as he waved you inside and you turned to watch him as you entered. He smirked and gave a wink before he closed the door. You trembled as the cold crept up your legs and rolled down your spine.

You looked up at the camera. You knew Bucky would watch. He had never stopped watching you.

👁️

The deep, unyielding pain in your stomach made you eat. It might have been dread more than hunger but your head wasn’t so hazy as before. You set aside the tray in the corner and hugged the damp towel around you. You weren’t eager for Steve’s return but you were waiting for him because you knew it was inevitable.

You sat on the edge of the bed and rocked. They couldn’t just leave you like this all the time. With nothing but time and white walls as you braced for their next appearance. You would go mad. You felt it already.

When the door jerked, you did too, but you didn’t look over as Steve entered. You could smell his cologne and the fruity scent of the soap lingering on your skin. He inhaled deeply as the door closed behind him and he walked decisively to the end of the bed. In the corner of your eye, you saw him set something there.

“You smell nice,” he said. “I brought you something to wear.”

“Okay,” you grumbled and didn’t move.

He stood in silence. Waiting. “Well…”

“I know why you’re here so what’s the point?” You hissed.

“Why I’m here is exactly the point. Get dressed, sweetie.”

“Stop calling me that!” You turned to face him. “Stop. Just do what you’re going to do and go.”

“Not until you get dressed,” he said in a low voice as he came closer and bent before you. He stared into your eyes and swallowed. “I don’t want this to be difficult and I know you don’t either but it really doesn’t matter to me either way.”

You squirmed and looked back at him. You clung to the towel with one hand and pushed yourself up with the other. He slowly backed away as you stood and you rounded the end of the bed. You scooped up the clothes and headed for the washroom. You could feel him smiling at you.

You closed the door and put the clothes on the tank of the toilet. You dropped the towel and lifted the first piece. A sheer white blouse with a round high counter. You eyed it and bent to sort through the fabric. Satin panties, matching bra, garter belt, stockings, heels… the blouse and the skirt had a vintage feel to them. The attire was straight out of the pin-up era.

You dressed reluctantly. The panties were too small and kept riding up, the bra was uncomfortable and the underwire painful. The blouse was easy enough to see through and the heels made you clumsy.

You took a breath before you reached for the door. You stepped through and kept your chin down. Steve gave a hum.

“You look lovely,” he purred.

You ignored him and folded your hands. You kept as far from him as you could in the small room.

“Well…” he began, “Come here. I want you to undress me.”

You gulped and edge around the bed to where he stood. You hesitated and he grabbed your chin. He forced your head up and smirked down at you.

“The longer you drag this out, the less restraint I’ll have.”

You said nothing and ran your fingers along the hem of his shirt. He leaned down and helped you lift it up his arms and over his head. His broad chest was bared and his muscled stomach flexed as he stood straight. He shifted and forced his shoes off with his toes. Your hands fell to his belt and he groaned. You paused before you fumbled with the buckle.

“I really wanted to fuck you in the kitchen but Bucky doesn’t trust you upstairs,” Steve ran his hands down your arms. “But if you’re good, I might be able to convince him.”

You were quiet. You couldn’t think of words. You could barely keep from collapsing entirely. As you unzipped Steve’s pants you thought of Bucky stripping at the end of the bed, of the way he admired his knives before he chose one, at your blood dripping down his chin. You yanked Steve’s jeans down and stepped back.

“You’re not done, sweetie.” He taunted.

“Why?” You rasped. “Why are you doing this? You’re supposed to be good. You’re a hero.”

“I earned this.” He grabbed your hands and placed them on the top of his briefs. “I’ve saved enough lives to claim one.”

You shook and grasped the elastic. You didn’t look as you pulled it away from his waist and angled it over his obvious bulge. You let them drop down to his feet and rescinded your hands with a whimper.

“I can’t--”

He kicked away his brief and peeled off his socks. He came closer and you retreated until your legs hit the bed.

“Shhh, let me lead you,” he touched your chin and leaned in. He stopped himself and took a deep breath. “God, look at you.”

He cupped your tits through the blouse and squeezed. “It used to be that men were expected to keep women. Pretty little housewives; obedient, docile.”

You grabbed his wrists and your lip quivered. “Steve, you don’t have too--”

“Do you know what husbands would do to rebellious wives?” He asked. “Do you?”

You shook your head and clung to him, afraid you would fall back onto the bed.

“Let me show you, sweetie,” he ran his hands down your sides, “I’ll show you how to be a good little wife.” His hands stretched over your hips, “Turn around.” He spun you, “Hands on the bed.”

You bent without thinking. Even after all that had happened, you were still terrified. What worse could he do to you then had already been done?

His hands went to your ass and he kneaded through the skirt. He rubbed along your thighs and pushed his crotch against you as he reached to the hem. He raised it as he rocked against you and slipped it over the curve of your ass. His fingers danced on the satin and tickled the top of your thighs.

He pressed his hand across your ass. “Every woman needs her lessons.”

He pulled his hand back and struck you. Hard. Your legs shook and the pain reverberated through your body. You let out a whimper and he did it again, the slap echoed off the walls. You dug your fingertips into the top of the mattress. A third time. Again, again, again. You lost count as fire singed your nerves.

He didn’t stop until your legs slid out from beneath you and you clung to the bed weakly. He tutted and lifted your hips back until you set your feet again. He gripped the top of the skirt and tore. The fabric fell away from your body and the blouse slackened around your middle.

He felt along the panties and rubbed between your legs. He prodded at your cunt through the satin and you felt the slickness spread along the inside. You were ashamed as he pulled the crotch aside and dragged his finger through your arousal.

“Women need discipline. They crave it.” He flicked your clit and you moaned. “See?”

“Please--”

“Please?” He mimicked. “What do you want? You want me inside you?”

You shook your head and tried to stand. He pulled his hand from your cunt and caught the back of your neck and forced you back down. He pushed you until you were on your stomach, your legs hanging over the side of the bed. He bent over you and his hot breath grazed your cheek.

“Turn over, sweetie,” he ordered, “I’ll show you how to serve a man.”

You quaked but couldn’t move. He turned you over roughly and you bounced on the bed. He climbed over you swiftly and held your head between his hands. He pinned down your shoulder with his legs, his knees above them, as his cock bobbed over your face. You writhed beneath him and he easily kept you in place.

He lifted your head as he angled his cock against your lips. You closed your mouth and he pushed harder.

“Be a good wife,” he grunted, “Come on, open up.”

You opened your mouth and he slid inside. You were dizzy and out of breath with his weight across your shoulders and chest. He dipped deeper and poked at your throat. He forced himself as far as he could you and you gagged as he leaned forward. He planted a hand on the mattress as he pulled his hips back and thrust. You choked again and he groaned.

“You can do it, sweetie,” he moved slowly, “Just like that.”

Your spit gathered along your lip as he fucked your face. You struggled to breath around him but your struggle only seemed to encourage him. He moved his pelvis fast and harder until the bed was bouncing violently beneath your bodies. 

You slapped at his legs as he ignored your gasps and gags. You kicked out, your feet sliding over the floor as you tried to wriggle free. He sank into you entirely and snarled. He took a breath as he held himself there.

“Should I come down your throat? Already?” He growled. “I could…”

You murmured around his cock and he chuckled. He pulled out slowly and pushed himself off of you. He bounced beside you as he hung his legs over the edge of the bed and winced. 

“Fuck, it hurts so bad.” He pet your thigh as he caught his breath. “I’ve been saving it for you.”

You took frantic breath and he pinched your leg. He stood and hummed. He turned and stroked himself as he faced you.

“Turn over again.” He bid.

Your heart pounded in your temples as you dizzily rolled over. You were too senseless to resist. If you did as he said, it might be over soon. He grabbed your hips and drew you onto your feet as he lifted your ass. You kept your hands on the bed as you struggled to keep yourself up.

He bent his knees as he poked around with his cock and dragged his tip along the satin. He hooked his finger in the fabric and pushed it aside as he pressed himself against your cunt. He impaled you a little at a time, pausing to bask in each inch until he filled you up completely.

His grip tightened on your hip and he began to move you against him. Your toes barely met the floor as he slid you up and down his length. Each time, his flesh clapped against your ass as the panties twisted painfully.

“Tell me you like my dick,” he snarled. You murmured and shook your head. “Tell me!” He barked.

“I-- I-- I like your dick.” You sputtered.

“Mmmhmm,” he rutted into you even harder. “Tell me you love me inside of you, sweetie.”

You whined as your thighs tingled and tensed in tortured pleasure. “I love… love you inside me.”

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he sped up again, slamming into your already raw ass. “Tell me you love me. You love me, don’t you?”

“Wha--”

“Say it.” He demanded.

“I l-love you,” you gasped as your eyes rolled back and the waves crested. “I love you.”

“Fuck, I can feel you cumming all over me,” he purred as wet noises filled the air. “Fuck, look at you, sweetie.”

You groaned as your arms bent beneath you and you leaned on your elbows as he lifted your ass even higher, his hands slipping to your thighs as he pushed your legs back against his.

“You like to make me happy, hmm? You like being my pretty little wife.” He hammered into you as his voice grew deep and fractured. “I’m gonna cum in you, sweetheart.”

“N-n-no,” your head rolled back and forth on the bed as you were helpless against him.

“You want me to make you a mommy?” He slithered. “You could grow big for daddy.”

He shoved you forward suddenly and fell atop you. He crushed you beneath him as he kept his hips moving and fucked you into the mattress. He slid his arm under your neck and squeezed. He jolted into you painfully as you spasmed once more in reviled delight.

“Here I go,” he uttered. “Daddy’s cumming.”

He grunted and your walls milked him as you felt his heat spill into you. You grabbed at his arm as your head began to throb and the cuts that lined your flesh burned. You felt everything, the pain, the pleasure, the despair, the fear, the hopelessness all at once. 

And when he stopped, all your strength was sapped from you. Still deep inside you, he dragged his arm from beneath you and held himself over you as he watched his cock slipped from your cunt. His cum spilled out and coated your folds and seeped into the panties. 

The mattress shifted and he grabbed the back of your blouse along the collar. “Take this off…” He tugged. “Then get in daddy’s lap.”

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #dark!steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader smut #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #scopaesthesia #marvel #mcu #captain america #winter soldier #serial killer au #serial killer

[waitimcomingtoo]

heeeey, in love with you, your writing and your blog 💖 Tbh I have read everything you have and I really in love with your writing. And I know that your request are close, but if you want could you write a Tom x reader where they have a fight and Tom has to leave a few days to promote his new movie and when he's back he sees like some of the reader's stuff are missing and thinks she left but in reality she's in another room couse she's awfully sick and doesn't want to get Tom sick too

Thank you so much anon!

Give Me a Minute to Hold My Girl

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom can’t find you after a bad fight

Masterlist

Tom was away a lot.

You knew traveling was a big part of his job, so you never did complain. That being said, it wasn’t easy having a boyfriend who was never around. All the missed birthdays, events, and art shows weighed on you after a while. You were more than proud of him, but you were growing lonely. He had a saying, something he said every time before he left you:

“Wherever I am, and wherever you are, we’re always looking at the same moon.”

And it used to assuage you. You’d go outside on nights he was away and stare at the moon, wishing he was looking at it where’ve he was. You knew it was never true though. He was rarely in the same time zone as you and was definitely not spending his precious time staring at the moon.

You couldn’t help it. You were miserable. 

On a night where Tom came home three hours later than he said he would after being away for a week. He sent a short text alerting you that he’d be home late, therefore missing the art show he promised he’d be at after missing the last three. Upon reading the text just mere moments before your show, you decided your quota was filled. You couldn’t handle the lonely nights anymore. If he didn’t start shaping up, you were gonna have to start considering looking elsewhere for love. You loved Tom, but you had to love yourself more.

“Hi, babygirl.” Tom came behind you that night and wrapped his arms around your waist as you rinsed your brushes. He smelled like he had been using a new cologne, one you didn’t recognize. You stiffened a little in his embrace as you wiped off a brush.

“I thought you were gonna be home at 2.” You said quietly.

“Plans changed. Sorry I didn’t call.” He kissed the back of your neck with strangers lips.

“Do you remember what today was?” You asked for your own amusement.

“Oh uh…” Tom scratched the back of his head as he raked his brain. “Not your birthday.”

“No.” You confirmed with half hearted humor.

“Not our anniversary.” He continued.

“No.” You shook your head.

“Um…” he trailed off until his eyes landing on your paint brushes next to you. “Your art show. I totally forgot.” He rubbed his eyes. “It was today?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, never meeting his eyes.

“I knew it. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Tom took your hands and looked at you apologetically. “I got pulled into a meeting about Spider-Man 3 and it just slipped my mind.”

“It’s all right. I didn’t place or anything.” You shrugged, not wanting a fight. “You can come to the next one.”

“This was the one where you paint on the spot right? Can you paint me a new one while I get changed?” Tom suggested as he brushed some hair out of your face.

“Sure. Anything specific?” You asked, warming up to him now that he was showing an interest in you again. The fire you felt for him was burning once again.

“Paint how you feel. I’ll be back soon.” Tom kissed your forehead before leaving the room.

You put a blank canvas on your easel and squirt some dark paint on your palette. As you painted, you heard Tom shouting and cheering from the other room. You decided it wasn’t worth it to get angry at him for playing a video game, after all he did have a long day. You kept the painting simple and void of color so you could get back to spending time with your boyfriend. When you finished and felt happy with your work, you called him back.

“I’m done, Tom.” You called out to him.

“Just a second. I’m in the middle of a game.” He called back. After ten minutes had gone by and he still hadn’t come into the room, you decided to add another small detail to the background of the painting. Tom walked in shortly after with a different outfit and freshly showered. You gave him a small smile.

“I can clean up and we can grab some dinner.” You said as you collected the used brushes.

“I actually gotta go soon, honey. I have meeting in Manchester tonight.” Tom told you timidly. You stopped collecting your brushes and looked at him.

“But you just got home.” You said, not bothering to hide your disappointment.

“I thought I’d come back for an hour to see you.” He said as if was no big deal.

“And then you spent that hour playing video games with Tuwaine.” You pointed out in anger. You felt the fire fizzle out.

“He’s never on, I didn’t want to miss him.” Tom said light heartedly in an attempt to cheer you up. “He’s the best at 2K.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t really he was the best at 2k.” You said sarcastically. “How stupid of me to try to pull my boyfriend away from making virtual half court shots after I haven’t seen him in a week.”

“I haven’t seen him either.” Tom reminded you, only fueling your anger.

“But you gave your only free hour to him. When am I gonna get to see you, Tom? When you’re dead?” You questioned.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” He held out his arms.

“Until your car pulls up.” You shot a look at his phone which you knew would be buzzing any minute.

“What do you want me to say?” Tom asked. “I work. I’m a working actor. People need me.”

“I need you.” You threw a sheet over your canvas and finished collecting your brushes, not wanting to look at him.

“I don’t know what to tell you, darling. I’m sorry. I can’t be everywhere at once.” He apologized. You shook your head before turning to face him.

“You spent last week in Mexico, Berlin, and Scotland. You’ve been to LA, Germany, and Vancouver this week. And now you’re off to Manchester? Do you mean you can’t be everywhere at once, or do you mean you can’t be anywhere I am?” You accused.

“I don’t pick where I go. If I have a meeting, I go. If I have a premier, I go. If I have to film, I go. It’s part of the job.” Tom defended himself.

“Chris wasn’t at the London premier.” You said quietly. You weren’t going to bring it up, but it felt warranted.

“What?” Tom asked at the random claim.

“Chris Pratt. He wasn’t at the London premier for Onward.” You told him.

“Okay?” Tom said in confusion.

“Do you know why?” You tested him.

“No.” Tom said after a minute of thinking.

“He was home with his family. He said his son started crying as he was leaving for his flight so he stayed. It was all over the news.” You told him. “Traveling is part of his job too, and yet he knows how to be there for his family. Why can’t you do the same?”

“Harry and Sam were there.” Tom pointed out.

“I don’t care about Harry and Sam!” You raised your voice. “I care about how the only time I get to see my boyfriend is when I’m scrolling through Instagram. Girls all over the world get to see you but the girl you swore you loved is lying at home in an empty bed. You can make time for millions of strangers but you can’t make time for me? Do you know how it feels every time you don’t answer my FaceTime calls but then you go on Instagram live? Do you have any idea how unhappy I’ve been?” You asked desperately.

“I have to tend to my fans, it’s a part-“ Tom began.

“Of the job, I know.” You cut him off as you stormed out of the room.

“What do you want me to do? Quit?” He laughed bitterly as he followed you into the living room.

“Would you?” You spun around.

“What?” Tom faltered.

“Would you give it all up for me?” You repeated lowly. “If I asked, and I wouldn’t, but it I did? Would you give up the money and stardom and power for me?”

“Why are you asking me this?” Tom sighed.

“Because I think I know the answer.” You said tearfully. You and Tom stared at each other for a long time. He could see how hurt you were and prepared to make amends.

“I love you.” He said meekly.

“Don’t give me that.” You shook your head and looked up at the ceiling.

“I do.” He said firmly but you didn’t answer. “What do you want me to give you, then?”

“A reason to stay, maybe?” You shrugged sadly as tears fell down your cheeks. “I’m seeing nothing but a lifetime of loneliness ahead of me because of your beloved job.”

“We love each other. Isn’t that enough of a reason?” Tom stepped closer to you but you backed away. His face fell at your indifference.

“I always thought it would be but…” you shrugged and pulled your sweater tighter around you.

“You wouldn’t leave.” Tom said starkly.

“I would if I had nothing to come back to.” You looked him in the eye. His eyes were red now too.

“I’m here. I’m what you have to come back to.” His voice wavered as he got to the point of tears.

“Tom, when are you ever here?” You laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “When have I ever had you to come back to you?”

“You think I like the traveling anymore than you do? I hate leaving you. I miss you like crazy when I’m away. It kills me to be apart.” He defended himself as he raised his voice.

“Oh, is that why you don’t answer my texts? Because being away from me killed you?” You asked sarcastically. “That makes total sense now. Although, I never really got the feeling you “missed me like crazy” when you were dodging my calls.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Tom apologized, knowing this wasn’t an argument he was going to win. “I’ll start coming home more, I promise.”

“Like you promised you’d come to my show?” You shot back, not yet ready to let him off easy.

“I just forgot! Am I not allowed to forget things?” Tom shouted.

“You have ten thousand assistants who revolve around you like you’re the sun and not one of them was there to remind you about my show?” You yelled. Tom quoted down when he realized you were right.

“Darling, I cannot deal with this right now.” He rubbed his face with his hands. “Can we please talk about this tomorr-” he cut himself off with a sigh.

“What?” You asked bitterly.

“I won’t be here tomorrow. I have press in New York. I have a flight out of Manchester after the meeting tonight.” He told you with dad eyes. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot to tell you.”

“How convenient.” Your voice cracked. It was at the point where you were plenty used to the goodbyes, but this one felt final.

“I was gonna tell you, I swear. It just slipped my mind.” Tom apologized.

“That’s been happening a lot, hasn’t it?” You snapped.

“You know this is part of the job.” He said weakly, hating himself for having to give you such a lame excuse.

“I do know that.” You nodded. “What I didn’t know is that I was gonna live my life freezing to death in the shadow of your career!” You shouted.

“Then get a new life!” He shouted back, eyes immediately displaying regret. You tilted your head as tears streamed down your face.

“Do you mean that?” You asked quietly.

“Maybe I do.” Tom shrugged as he stared you coldly in the eye. His phone buzzed and he glanced down at it. “I have to go.”

“Good. Go.” You snapped. He went to the door but stopped and looked at you.

“You’re gonna be here when I get back, right?” He asked timidly.

“Would you even notice if I wasn’t?” You responded as you went to retreat into the bedroom.

“Darling, wait-“ Tom began to follow you but you stopped in your tracks.

“I don’t have anything left here to wait for.” You told him and you watched his heart break.

Tom opened his mouth to speak but his phone buzzed again. He looked at it and sighed as you wiped a tear.

“Go. Your car is waiting.” You said.

“I can’t leave you like this.” He mumbled as he typed something into his phone.

“Just leave. You know how.” You said bitterly. Tom looked up at you at your words. He was in a bad way. His nose was running and his eyes were bloodshot.

“I can cancel on the press. I can stay home-“ he said desperately.

“This is not a home! This is a prison!” You yelled. “I am chained to this one man cult we call a relationship. Please, just go! You have people waiting on you, people you clearly find more important than me. You need to leave, because I will never kick you out. Go on your press tour. Go to New York. Go do your precious “job” and meet your fans. Go stare at the fucking moon. I don’t care. Just leave.” You yelled until your voice was ragged.

“You’ll never find someone like me.” Tom warned, saying anything he could to get you to stay.

“I hope to God that’s true!” You screamed.

Tom took a step towards you, but his phone buzzed again. He wiped a tear off his cheek and nodded.

“I’ll be back in a week.” He swallowed.

“Good for you.” You said dismissively as you walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. He stared at the door for a long time, about to knock when he got yet another text telling him his car was there. He swallowed thickly, pressed a kiss to the outside of the door, and left without another word.

“I’m home.” Tom called into his home a week later.

He immediately felt the chill of your fight hitting him. When he didn’t hear a response from you, he shivered in his jacket, suddenly feeling like he was wearing somebody else’s clothes. He set his bag down timidly in the ground and looked around. The first thing he noticed was the lack of dishes in the sink. You weren’t one for cleaning up after yourself and Tom had grown accustomed to coming home to a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. You’d usually wash and dry them together before settling down on the couch to watch a movie. Tom felt fear prickle the back of his neck at the empty sink. There was no way you’d actually left, Tom told himself. You wouldn’t just up and go without a note or a call or a text. Not that Tom was very good at answering your calls and texts. Tom took another step into the house and glanced around the living room. Your favorite blanket was missing and the room looked like it hadn’t been touched since Tom left a week ago. Your pile of movies was no longer next to the TV and Tom began to feel sick.

“Y/n? I’m home.” He called out again. His voice bounced off the walls but didn’t get a reply. His palms began to sweat as he walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinet. All of your coffee mugs were gone. There was an empty space in the middle of the cabinet where they used to be.

“Princess? Are you here?” Tom called out, desperately this time. When he was met with silence, he rushed into the bathroom. Tom washed his face with cold water and noticed your toothbrush was missing from the holder. He started at the vacant spot for a long tome before rushing into your shared bedroom. Upon entrance, he noticed your pillow missing. The bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in all week, and Tom feared it hadn’t. He flung open your closet doors and noticed a large gap in your clothing. All your favorite T-shirts were gone. After rummaging through the drawers, Tom found that your leggings, bras, underwear and socks were all missing too. Tom sat on the bed and out a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs.

You’d done it. You’d left him.

While he spent the week with friends and fans, you spent the week packing up your life. Tom snapped his head up when he heard the doorbell ring.

“Babygirl?” He asked as he rushed to the front door. He swung it open, only to find his next door neighbor.

“Oh, hey Tom. Glad to see you’re back.” His elderly neighbor smiled at him.

“Hi Shane.” Tom said weakly.

“I wanted to see how Y/n was doing. She left kinda late Thursday’s night and I haven’t seen her since. Been about a week I think.” Shane informed Tom. He perked up at the mention of you.

“You saw her leaving?” Tom asked. “When was this again?”

“Thursday. Sped off in such a hurry, you’d think she was in a race.“ Shane laughed. Tom looked past Shane and noticed your car wasn’t in the driveway.

“Did she say where she was going?” Tom inquired.

“Oh, no. My wife and I only saw her leave. We were visiting our son all weekend and got worried when we got back and saw her car was still missing. I rang the doorbell a few times this week but there was never an answer.” Shane said and Tom felt like crying all over again. “When I saw that you had come back if figured I’d ask you. Is she okay?”

“I’m sorry Shane, I don’t know.” Tom answered honestly.

“She’s not home?” Shane asked.

“Uh, no.” Tom looked back in the house and then back at Shane. “Shes not home.”

“Do you think it’s serious? Has she ever done this before?” Shane wondered.

“No. Never.” Tom shook his head.

“Have you tried calling her? You two are always so cute, I thought for sure you’d know where she was.” Shane said worriedly. Tom bit his tongue to keep from crying.

“We had a fight before I left last week.” He admitted, feeling like he needed to tell anyone who would listen.

“Oh, did you?” Shane said sympathetically.

“A really bad one.” Tom continued as his voice weighed heavy with guilt.

“That’s okay. Every couple fights. My wife and I have been fighting for 52 years.” Shane tried to cheer him up.

“Shane,” Tom sniffled as he gathered his thoughts, “I don’t think Y/n is coming home anytime soon.”

“No?” Shane asked sadly.

“I think she might’ve left.” Tom said with a shaking voice. “Left me.”

“Oh, Thomas.” Shane nodded in understanding. “I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“I’m so sorry, will you excuse me?” Tom closed the door quickly before his neighbor could see his tears. He leaned against the door and slid down it as tears poured from his eyes. He sobbed into his hands for a moment until he noticed something. Your easel was standing in the middle of the living room with a sheet covering it. Tom got to his feet and carefully approached the easel. He soon reached it and pulled the sheet off. The canvas was a mirage of gray and white with a portrait of a woman crying. She was holding half of her own broken heart and cradling it to her chest. In the background, a faint silhouette of a man walking away with the other half of her broken heart trailing on a string behind him.

Toms words echoed in his mind from that night: “Paint how you feel.”

That’s how you felt. Heartbroken, abandoned, and tethered, all because of Tom. Tom ran his fingertips over the painting as if were a piece of you. He tilted his head and smiled at it fondly, always blown away at how talented you were, even when painting your lament.

He noticed another canvas leaning against the back wall, also covered in a sheet. He walked briskly to it and ripped the sheet off.

Underneath the off white sheet was a portrait of Tom himself sitting on the world. He had a crown on his head and a bright smile on his face. There were tiny, detailed fans and billboards with his name on either side of him. He was in a suit and had his hand clamped firmly around a the sun. You had painted with bright colors, colors of the sunset and the sky. Your words from the fight came back to him:

“You have ten thousand assistants who revolve around you like you’re the sun and not one of them was there to remind you about my show?”

On the other side of the globe sat a girl. Tom turned the portrait around and saw you. You were sitting alone, literally on the other aide of the world. Tom felt his heart break when he noticed you were staring off mournfully at the moon. On the top corner of the painting was a blue “first prize” ribbon. Tom distinctly remembered you telling him you didn’t place, despite you winning the entire competition.

That was enough for Tom. The tingling sensation started in his nose and he found himself able to see less and less of your painting as tears well up in his eyes. Body shaking sobs ripped through him as it finally sunk in that you had left him. He cried into his hands until he heard something coming from the guest bedroom.

A cough.

Tom almost thought he imagined it until he heard it again. Someone was coughing in the house. Tom scrambled to his feet and pressed an ear against the door. He heard silence for a while, then a sniffle. His heart pounded in his ears as he twisted the doorknob.

Tom opened the door slowly and heard a clanking from the floor. He looked down and saw a pile of your favorite coffee mugs, a few plates, and some bowls on the ground. He pushed them aside and fully stepped into the room. Sitting in the guest bed was a very pink-nosed and red-eyed you. You were lazily scrolling through your phone as you dabbed at your nose with a tissue. There was a bottle of bills and a bottle of cough medicine on the nightstand, as well as a sea of mugs. There was a garbage can next tot he bed with a mountain of tissues coming out as well as surrounding it. Tom felt like he was seeing a ghost and suddenly felt like a stranger in his own home. He looked around the room and saw all your missing clothes strewn around. You were wrapped in your favorite blanket and your pile of movies was next to a tub of ice cream by the TV. Tom blinked a few times in shock.

“Oh, you’re home.” You spoke and Tom snapped out of his daze. You didn’t sound angry, just congested.

“Y/n?” Tom whispered as if he spoke to loudly, you might disappear.

“Hi, Tommy.” You said sleepily as you rubbed your eyes. “Did you just get home?”

Tom watched your every movement as you scratched your head and reached for the cup of water next to the bed. He quickly got it before you did and handed it to you, taking a careful seat next to you on the bed. You gave him a grateful smile before downing the glass. You licked your dry lips a few times and sighed.

“Yeah. I just got in.” He said, never taking his eyes off you.

“I didn’t hear it. I’m on this medication that completely knocks me out. Oh, I’m sick, if you haven’t noticed.” You laughed sleepily. “I got the flu from one of my friends.”

“You’re sick? That’s why you’re in here?” Tom asked as hope burbled in his chest.

“I didn’t want to contaminate all your stuff.” You told him. “Can’t have you getting sick before Uncharted starts filming.” His heart warmed at the thought of you looking out for him even after the fight you had.

“Thank you, princess. I appreciate you looking out for me.” He told you sincerely.

“Uh oh.” You looked at him with a half smile. “You only call me “princess” when you’re really upset. What’s going on?”

Toms lip began to tremble at your words and you looked worried.

“Your toothbrush isn’t in the bathroom.” Was all he could find the strength to say.

“Yeah, because it was disgusting. I had to throw it out this morning.” You assured him.

“All your stuff is missing. Your clothes, movies, mugs.” Tom continued.

“Look around you.” You laughed again, gesturing to all your previously “missing” stuff.

“Shane is worried about you. He said you left Thursday and never came back.” Tom told you.

“Aw, is he? I drove to the hospital Thursday night because my fever was so high and the doctor made me stay overnight. I took an Uber back on Friday because I got sick in my car. Its at the shop getting cleaned until tomorrow. Would you tell him I’m okay?” You asked.

“Of course.” Tom nodded, feeling himself relax a little.

“Thank you.” You said. The room fell into an awkward silence. Tom toyed with what he needed to say in his head.

“I saw your paintings.” Tom spoke up.

“Oh.” You said causally, knowing the content of the paintings.

“You didn’t tell me you got first place.” He said softly.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad for missing it.” You admitted.

“Princess” ,Tom laughed sadly, “I feel terrible. I feel terrible about every thing. Every word I said to you, I regret it. I thought about you and our fight the entire time I was gone. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I was miserable without you. And when I came home today and all your stuff was gone…” Tom trailed off as he got emotional again. You pulled him to you chest and let him cry it out. “I thought you left. I thought you left me.”

“I would never leave you.” You promised.

“But our fight.” He cried.

“All couples fight. The ill-timing and stress didn’t help. But I’m not someone who just walks away. Especially not from something like this.” You assured him as you stroked his hair.

“I hurt you. I missed your show, I didn’t talk to you when I was home.” Tom listed off his mistakes. “I abandoned you.”

“It’s the job.” You laughed sadly.

“No. I’m not gonna let that be an excuse anymore.” Tom pulled his head off your chest and you wiped his eyes. “You deserve better. So, so much better. I’m sorry it took you almost leaving for me to realize how much I need you to stay.”

“I’m sorry about the fight.” You told him weakly. “I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“What didn’t you mean?” Tom asked as he gathered your hands in his and kissed them.

“I know I said there wasn’t nothing here for me to wait for, but there is. Of course you’re worth waiting for. You’re away a lot, and it sucks, but nothing compares to when you’re here. A few days with you is better than a lifetime with somebody else, I know it. It’s just hard to remember the good times when I’m sleeping alone every night.” You finally told him your feelings in a much calmer manner.

“Princess, I’m so sorry. This ends today. If someone needs a meeting with me, they can come to Kingston. I’m not gonna fly all over the globe to talk about movies for an a hour anymore when I could be at home with my beautiful girlfriend. You are so much more important than any job.” Tom promised you. “I didn’t answer you that night, and I honestly didn’t even know the answer, but now I do. I’d give it all up in a heartbeat for you, love. All the money and fame is nothing to me if I don’t have you.”

“Do you really mean that?” You asked him.

“I do. And I’m gonna prove it.” He swore. “I want you to come with me when I shoot Uncharted. And I want you there for the rest of my press tour. You can bring your easel and your brushes and paint all over the world.”

“Really?” You asked happily.

“Yes. People are gonna stop coming to see me and start coming to see you because you’re gonna be the most famous painter in the world.” Tom painted you a picture. “You have more talent than people could even dream of achieving. The world needs to see your work.”

“I’d love to come with you.” You told him with a smile.

“Then do it. We don’t ever have to be apart again. I can’t sleep if it’s not next to you anyway. We won’t have to look at the same moon anymore. I can just roll over and see you instead.” Tom cupped your face. “We’re gonna go to Berlin and Italy and Mexico, all the places you’ve wanted to see. You’re gonna see the prettiest sights and eat the greatest food and live the most wonderful life by my side. And we can go anywhere else you want to go too. Fuck it, baby, we’re going to the moon. Or mars. Wherever. It doesn’t matter as long as we’re together. That’s all I need.”

“That’s all I ever wanted to hear.” You told him as a happy tear rolled down your cheek. “I don’t want someone like you. I just want you.”

“I just want you, too.” He grinned as happy tears welled in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You apologized for the fight.

“I’m sorry too.” Tom nodded tearfully as he reached forward to kiss you.

“I’m sick.” You reminded him as you pulled away slightly to dodge his kiss.

“I don’t care.” Tom shook his head as he pressed his lips to yours before pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’m never leaving you again. Just give me a minute to hold my girl.”

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @foreverxholland @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning g @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts  @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human  @celestial-skylines @loveat2am @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @delicately-important-trash @spideygirl2003 @the-crazy-fanfictionist @kii-mii @maryjanee23 @spacebitch2 @vgiselle @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland imagine #tom holland insert #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #iron man #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #onward

[mashiraostail]

I've been having a lot more depressive episodes lately.(dw, im getting help) But, can i have Nemuri and Aizawa comforting a s/o who just had a depressive episode? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable with the topic, but if you do thank you so much

Thanks for the request! I can do this for sure and I hope it helps! As someone who is also depressed I put some lil tidbits from my own struggles in here (specifically the gargantuous amount of energy turning the shower knob can take me and how that simple action has literally stopped me showering for weeks) If you’re struggling right now please remember to extend your body the same kindness you so consistently extend to other people!! Even by sitting here reading my writing you’re being so amazingly kind to me!! Project that back onto yourself and give yourself a reward, a glass of water at your favorite temperature, or even a snack if you can stomach it! It’s easy to drown ourselves in comfort content and neglect tangible acts of self love but I promise the energy will be worth it!

Nemuri: It’d been a while since Nemuri heard from you, and even longer since she’s seen you, which was rare. You didn’t drop off the face of the planet or anything but you had been evading her invitations to go out or even just to spend a night with her. She wanted to avoid showing up unannounced but it was becoming concerning. The last thing she wanted was to make you think she didn’t trust you or to startle you, but whenever she brought it up you brushed her off. She hated the idea of you being sick or even just swamped with work all alone when she was more than capable of helping you out. Eventually she just decides to show up, she texts you first but you don’t even appear to open it, she just had a bad feeling and if hero-work taught her anything it was to always trust a bad feeling.  She knocks on your front door for a while to no avail, ringing the bell intermittently, she’s just met with silence. Her key works which at least is a good sign that you didn’t pack up and move across the country or something.  “Hello??” She wanders into the apartment. It’s dark and radio silent. But there are dishes in the sink, your shoes strewn around the entryway and your bag on the table.  “You here??” You were definitely here, your car keys were on the couch and your usual walking around sneakers...or. one of them was underneath the coffee table.  She decides to check your bedroom.  “I’m gonna open the door okay?? If you aren’t decent now’s the time to say it don’t freak out at me okay?? I’m opening the door now.” She opens the door with covered eyes. “Hello?” She peeks between her fingers and is greeted with the sight of you, or the lump that is probably you, curled up underneath your duvet.  “Nemuri.” Your head pokes up overtop your pile of pillows and the fluff of your comforter.  “Well hello!” She piques, clearly relieved to see you, “good morning to you sleeping beauty, though it is 4 in the afternoon.” She pushes the door open the rest of the way and enters the room.  “What’s up?” She leans against your dresser, “where have you been?”  “Where does it look like I’ve been?” You sigh.  “What’re you a vampire or something now? Decided to go fully nocturnal?” She grins but you don’t mimic her amusement.  “What’s wrong babe? I’ve done like 4 things that you would have laughed at by now. Something’s obviously wrong. I texted you and called but you didn’t reply...are you upset with me? This isn’t how you normally act when you’re upset with me...” She wrings her hands together, “normally you come to see me all the time, I’m not saying you have to be inseparable from me or anything but...well this just isn’t like you..if I made you mad I’d rather you tell me babe since I’m clueless..”   You sigh, suddenly feeling guilty for your radio silence for the past few days and the increasing distance you’d put between the pair of you for the past week or so now. It was intentional you just shut down and you didn’t mean to but everything was a chore, even the things you loved, sometimes especially the things you loved.  “No...it’s not you.”  “Well I’m...” She looked confused, “I’m glad to hear that but I’m still kinda lost. Are you sick? Did someone else make you upset? If someone else is giving you problems you need to tell me.” Having the green light gets her to venture further into your bedroom and sit on the edge of your mattress, “I can set some people straight if that’s the problem.”  “No it’s..nobody...no one is giving me any trouble that’s not it.” You also suddenly feel sort of stupid. You don’t even know what put this on. One day you were fine and the next you were worse, and then next was worse and the next was worse than that until you ended up where you were now. In bed 5 days removed of a shower where your one meal of the day consisted of a plain bagel sometimes toasted other times not.  “No one?” She reaches out and holds the bend of your knees, “are you sure?” You nod. “Okay then...well what is it? I wanna help but you’ve gotta let me know how.”  “I just...” You scrub your face, “I just...it’s been a really bad week or..2 weeks or..however long. I don’t know. I feel so depressed and exhausted and everything is annoying and tiring and no matter how much I sleep I can’t seem to stay awake.” She takes in a breath at that and nods with it.  “Oh. OH. Well now I feel stupid pulling away so much. I just didn’t wanna be overbearing and offend you or..well...well what’s up? What set all this on? Did something happen to...to make you feel upset or?”  “I don’t know...I just think I haven’t been taking good enough care of myself. I’ve been slacking and procrastinating and then I got overwhelmed and then I got upset and now...I’m here. I just feel like such an idiot and now to think I made you think I was upset with you because I was too-”  “Don’t even finish that sentence.” Nemuri shushes you, “it’s alright. Really you don’t have to feel bad about that. I get it, I understand now so it’s okay. I’m sorry for making it about me.” Her hand moves up to squeeze your thigh.  “I wanna do everything I can to help okay? Whatever I can do to help you come out on top with this thing...” Her other hand squeezes your lower arm, “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me with this sort of thing okay? We don’t have to get into the...deep emotional part of it if you don’t wanna talk about that with me. But we can start small can’t we? When’s the last time you had something to drink?” She looks at the empty glasses on your bedside table. “And when’s the last time you ate or took a shower?”  The face you make at that tells her more than enough.  “Okay you don’t have to answer that.” She reaches out tuck your hair back but you flinch away from it, the last thing she need to feel was your dirty hair.  “Come on with that.” She sighs, “I don’t think you’re gross. I’m not grossed out at all okay? I promise. I’ve had my fair share of shower protests. It’s in the job description, no ones perfect. I love you, smelly or not. Now hold still and let me give you a kiss.”  You relent at that. She presses a long kiss to your temple, sighing into your skin, “I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t wan you to feel this way ever..so let’s start small.. How about a nice bath, yeah? I’ll set one up for you you can soak in it for a bit, while you do that I’ll clean up around here, change your sheets and...work on that.. situation.. in the sink, then when you’re ready I’ll come wash your hair for you. After that you can relax in the bath a little more, shave if that’s something that will make you feel good, or I could put some conditioner in your hair. Or you can just sit in a nice warm bath with a cold bottle of water and get your energy back up. I’ll get you some real food in the mean time.”  She doesn’t poke or prod for information, she washes your hair with the same care and consideration that went into most of the things she did, she didn’t ask to join you, or to stay. She asked if you wanted to be alone for a little bit longer and left you to it when you confessed that you did only poking in to leave ‘the comfiest looking pajamas I could find’ for when you were done cleaning up. You manage to get yourself up and out of the bath without having to call for the help or extra motivation to do it. She only looks delighted to see you.   “How’d the bath go? Did I use enough bubbles?”  “It was nice..I didn’t realize how..far gone I was..I feel better..” You rub your arm, if she’s at all perturbed by your confession it’s not detectable.  “Yeah?? I had a feeling it would help. Now come here. I really want a hug.” She pats the empty bed beside her and you make your way over.  “Good, there you are.” She wraps her arms around you and sighs, “I missed you.” She tucks you easily into her chest, her free hand scratching the nape of your neck, “don’t apologize for that.” She stops you before you can talk.  “I ordered some food from that place you like. I wanted to make something so you could get some food in you a little faster but...you’re running a little low on raw materials.” She combs her fingers through your wet hair, “it’s okay though having your favorite might make you feel a little better.”  “Yeah..thanks for being here.” You close your eyes, still exhausted but your chest felt lighter, your whole body felt lighter.  “Of course. I only wish I came sooner but...” She pulls back and looks at you, holding the base of your skull in her hands, “I get wanting to be alone sometimes. Needing space to get your feet on the ground is normal but...don’t be afraid to ask for my help either. If there ever is a time that you want me here, need me here even...I want to be here. I know I can rely on you so I hope you know you can rely on me too.” She presses a long kiss to your forehead at that.  “I think I’ll feel a lot better tomorrow.” Your voice is quiet and your fingers brush against her collarbone. “That’s good.” Her palm pulls your hair off your forehead, “in the meantime I’ll be here to help you get there.” 

Aizawa:  Aizawa was an introvert himself. He liked being around other people at times of course but sometimes he just needed a quiet room to recharge. He figured you did too, and plus you were both plenty busy. For the most part he trusted your judgement and tended to not be very insecure when it came to how much time you spent together. He liked being around you, and would rather be with you than not for the most part but he understood probably better than anyone what exhaustion can do to a person. If you were tired then you could recharge. That being said he wouldn’t avoid you if he saw you out and about, and he saw you out and about.  It was actually late for you to be out, late for anyone to be out really. You were leaving a convince store and he was getting ready to call it a night with patrolling.  “Hey.” The way you jump out of your skin at his voice tells him he maybe should have approached you with noisier steps.  “Sorry.”  “It’s okay.” You clutch the bag you were holding, “I just thought I was getting mugged is all.”  “You think there are criminals running around when I’m out here? I don’t know if I should be insulted.” He teases a little and you jump.  “That isn’t how I meant-”  “I know.” He chuckles, “I know. What are you doing out so late? It’s almost midnight.”  “I...had to get some stuff.. You bounce nervously on the balls of your feet, the last thing you needed was him seeing you like this. It was the first time you’d gone out in like 2 weeks, you were sure you looked as terrible as you felt.  “You don’t look very happy to see me.” Ever intuitive. You supposed you didn’t keep it much of a secret, the first thing you did whenever you saw him was reach out for him, his hand, his arm, his waist, you just wanted to touch. Or normally you did, but now all you wanted to do was get away.  “I’m just...exhausted. Sorry I am happy to see you. I’m always happy to see you.” You rub your eyes, “like you said, it’s late.”  “It is late.” He agrees, “I’m finished here.”  “O-oh that’s good..are you hurt at all?”  “No, slow night...but.. why don’t we spend the night together? Since we’re both here.”  He didn’t need to see the state of your apartment.  “U-uh okay yeah we can go to yours..” “You’re closer.” He raises his eyebrows, letting his goggles fall around his neck, “and you just bought stuff. I’m assuming it’s for your apartment not mine.” He peeks into the bag, “I don’t remember sending you a midnight shopping list.”  “W-well yeah but there’s school tomorrow and you’re closer so it’s probably easier for you and-”  “You’re an extra five minutes out.” He laughs at that, “and unless you trashed all my things in the week I went without seeing you I have plenty of stuff to wear at your place.”  “Y-yeah I mean..that is true.”  He raises one eyebrow at you, “so?” You couldn’t think of a good reason to say no, the mountain of dishes in your sink, the full washer and dryer and 2 baskets of unfolded laundry didn’t seem like an excuse, especially considering it was knowledge you wanted to withhold from him in the first place.  “Y-yeah sure..it has been a while.”  “Alright, let’s go then.” He reaches out and takes your bags from you batting your hand away as you try to stop him.  “You’ve been working-”  “I got it. It’s fine come on. You really shouldn’t be out so late by yourself you know.”  “You’re probably right..” You murmur, making to follow him down the road.  He doesn’t pry about your jittery state, he asks a few question about how your day went and seems to back down even more when you take a hold of his arm on your walk.  “It really is slow tonight.” He looks around, “at least you picked a good night for a midnight excursion.” He nudges you a little playfully and you hum.  You wanted to be more engaging but every step brought you closer to the impending doom that would be Shota seeing the abysmal state in which you were living.  Once you get to the front door you realized you didn’t have your keys.  “I...” You look at your shoes and he leans against the wall.  “What’s up?”  “I don’t have my keys..”  “You really are lucky you ran into me.” He straightens up and shifts the bags to one arm to fish around in his pocket, “I’ve got one. Are you feeling alright?” You don’t reply because...well he’d figure it out.  “Please don’t say anything rude.” You warble mostly to yourself as the lock clicks, he pushes the door open. “What do you mean don’t say anything rude, why would I-” He clicks the light on as he steps inside. Oh it’s worse than you remembered. How’d your laundry get to the couch? And why did you get a new glass every time you wanted water? Especially when you didn't drink it half the time. Everything is clearer in hindsight.  “Oh.” He sets the bags down on the coffee table, which is really the only clear surface in a 10 foot radius of him.  “I’m sorry.” You groan, slumping into the wall and scrubbing your face, “I’m so gross-”  “I didn’t say that...But let me ask again.”  He turns to you, “are you feeling alright?”  “Not really no..” You look down again and he starts to pick up some of the glasses.  “The sink isn’t any better..” You warn him, hugging your chest.  “Yeah I figured.” He turns to you, arms full of various aspects of your mess. “Don’t look so guilty. Come on.” He nods you towards your kitchen, you figure the least you can do is pick up a few spoons, bowls and glasses on your way in.  “You don’t have to clean up after my stupid mess I-”  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He shakes his head, “you don’t feel good. I wish you’d said something sooner. I would have come when you asked.”  “Don’t feel bad.” You murmur, “I wasn’t ready anyways.”  “Come here.” He holds an arm out and you cringe, “I probably smell terrible I haven’t-”  “It’s okay. It’s all okay. I’m not holding any of this against you, no one is. Come on. Over here.” So you shuffle into his chest, eventually wrapping tired arms around his ribs.  “Does this help?” He’s rubbing long strokes up your back, his palm his firm against you every stroke pushing you a little closer. You just nod into his chest.  “Did something happen? Did someone upset you? Or are you just having a hard time right now?”  “I’m just having a hard time.” You reply, trying not to let your voice sound to wet or warbly. “Cry if you want to. If you need to. It’s okay. I won’t hold that against you either. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cry. I’ll be here for you while you do.” It’s not loud hiccup-y sobs, you aren’t bawling and sniffling. It sounds just as tired as the rest of you, it’s listless and exhausted and downright empty. It honestly hurt him to hear it a little. He’s been there too.  One hand holds the back of your head the other keeps running those lines up your back pressing between your shoulder blades.  “What do you think about taking a shower?” His fingers glide along the hem of your tee shirt, grazing your neck lightly. “It’s not that I don’t want to-”  “I know. Hey, I know.” He pulls you away and slicks your hair back, “but you’re neglecting your body right now. Even if you don’t mean to. Your skin and hair will be really thankful for a shower right now. How can I help you get there?”  He takes you to the bathroom and carefully undresses you going as far to turn the shower nob for you.  “Sit if you need to.” He reminds you, gathering your clothes off the ground, “I’m going to leave the door open so call me if there’s anything you can’t do, but I’ll come check on you in 10 minutes okay? Is there anything you don’t want me touching or cleaning without you? Is there anything that’s off limits?”  “No...it’s okay...I just feel bad you’ve been working and now-”  “Don’t feel bad. I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for me. Take your shower, I’ll come back in a few minutes after I fold up the laundry out here. Try to stay focused.”  “Thank you.” You nod and squeezes your shoulder.  “You’re welcome. And thank you for trusting me.”  He helps you out of the shower and wraps you in a towel. In the time you’d spent in the shower he’d gotten most of your dishes into the dish washer and you could see your couch again.  “New sheets.” He kisses your temple, “you ready to go to sleep?”  You nod as he tosses a tee shirt to you.  “Tomorrow morning you’re gonna eat a good breakfast with me right?”  “I don’t really have much to cook with-” “We’ll make it work.” He leans back against the pillows, “don’t worry about it now. Right now just focus on getting some sleep, real genuinely restful sleep. Wake me up if you need me.” 

#tw depression #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa x reader #nemuri kayama x reader #midnight x reader #nemuri kayama #aizawa shouta #aizawa #bnha hc #bnha x reader #bnha request

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 2

Chapter Selection

"Hey... you might wanna get up", I heard a voice call out to me. I was drawn out of sleep completely when the covers were pulled off of me. I curled my body up in fetal position, "Come on let's go." 

I groaned out, the cold covering my body in goosebumps. "We have that test today... let's... go." Chloe grabbed onto my legs and dragged me off the bed. My body fell onto the covers that were cooled on the floor. I threw my head on the bed, "Fine I'm up, I'm up."

"Good", she said with a smug smile and turned away from me getting changed for class. Chloe and I  had a test today in forensics. I wasn't very good in the class, my average grade was a C+. But I was studying for this test for a few weeks, I needed to get an A. 

For nothing particular I just wanted to raise my average. It was the only class where I was struggling in, I needed the best grades I could get.��

"Did you start the coffee!", I called from the bathroom. "Yeah!", I nodded my head and started brushing my teeth. After I was done I hopped into the shower, feeling too cold from the air around me. The water heated me up and made the stress ease up. 

The smell of the coconut shampoo flooding the small room I was in. Washing it out my hair wasn't as oily as it was when I woke up. When I finished my shower I stepped out of the bathroom and dried off. 

A cup of coffee sitting on my dresser, the perfect color. It was still hot when I took a sip; I burnt my tongue a bit. I went to my closet and put on a fitted black hoodie and ripped light blue jeans. I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen carrying my bag and mug. 

I put an ice cube in and stirred it, cooling down the temperature. I downed the drink and placed it in the sink. "We got half an hour", Chloe grabbed her bag and locked the door behind us as we walked out. 

Going down to the parking lot I got into the passenger seat, letting Chloe drive. "Why were you really at Hotch's last night; I get it's your job but it was late when you got home. You would think his parents would be there already." I looked up from my phone and chuckled. 

"If you think something happened it didn't, I told you last night that I was helping him." She hummed and grinned, I smacked her arm. "Not that kind of help... He called me and asked if I could watch Jack today. I said I could after class. He sounded exhausted so I offered to go over there so he could get some rest." 

Her glanced over at me, "Why couldn't his wife watch their son." I sighed. 

"She was out drinking", that was the end of the conversation. I explained to her before my problems with Hayley; she was a terrible person but lately she was out of it. We were 5 minutes away from campus now when I got a text from Hotch. 

Hotch- If you could come by right after class that'd be great. I'll be here when you do

Y/n- Sounds good

Hotch- Oh and good luck today

Y/n- Thank you

It was 8:30 when we got to campus, walking down the sidewalk going to class. We go through the door and take a seat leaving a space between to save the teacher time by telling us to separate. I took advantage of our early arrival setting my book in front of me and flipping through them trying to retain anything I could. 

Chloe scooted closer trying to read from my book as well. I ran my finger down the page glancing over the words picking out the most important information. "Alright, stuff away, clear the tables", my professor called from the front.  

I put my books away and turned off my phone. Getting ready for the amount of stress I was about to get on a sheet of paper. The papers were passed out and I had to wait for everyone to receive the test so I could start. 

"And... Start", I flipped the paper over and wrote my name at the top moving on to the first question. 

______________________________________

"Pass the papers up to the end of your table", I took a deep breath; hoping I did as good as I think I did. The tests were collected and I felt a wave of relief wash over me; all I needed to know now was my final grade. 

"You may leave", the professor called to the class. "Wanna go get some food?", Chloe asked me as we walked out of the hall. "Can't I have to get Jack", she understood and started driving me over to Hotchs. 

"This house", Chloe stopped the car and I got out. She drove off and I walked up to the door knocking a few times. I waited a few moments before Hotch opened the door. He stepped out of the way and let me inside. The warmth from his house washed over me, making me feel relaxed.

I heard jacks feet patter against the hardwood as he came into the living room from the hallway. "Y/n!", I bent down and he jumped into my arms. A smile crept onto Hotch's face at the sight, he cleared his throat. 

"Alright I'm going to work, Hayley should be home in a few hours. Have fun guys." 

I turned to Hotch holding the door open for him. "Okay, have fun at work... Jack say goodbye to your dad", Jack waved and said bye to him; I gave him a smirk. "Bye", he returned the action. I could see a faint presence of his dimples. I shut the door behind Hotch as he walked out.

 Having Jack still in my arms I looked at him. "How would you feel about going to the park later today?", He nodded eagerly. "But first how about you help me clean up okay", I set him down on the couch. 

"Then I can make you lunch and we can leave for the park", Jack followed behind me; I handed him the broom and dust pan. He already knew what to do, we started to sweep the floor putting all of it into one pile so he could throw it away. 

I turned on some music but given he was a little kid I needed it to be appropriate. So I selected my oldies playlist, the first thing to play was Johnny Cash. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and hand washed what I couldn't fit. 

Jack finished and he emptied the dustpan. I cleaned the counter tops and the dinning table. Jack sat down waiting for me to make him food. 

I started making mashed potatoes not wanting him getting sick at the park. Jack was listening to the music and started drawing; I was scrolling through my phone. The water started boiling and I emptied the packet into the water. 

Stirring it around adding butter, salt, and garlic. I made him a bowl and set it on the table. He put his paper and crayons away; taking his time eating I finished my bowl already; I hadn't eaten anything all day. 

He pushed his bowl, "Done." I grinned and washed our dishes. "Alright get your shoes on", I waited by the door and he gripped my hand. I locked the door and we walked to the park. As we got closer I could hear the laughter or the other children. "Go on", he darted to the swings, kicking his legs back and forth getting higher. 

I took a seat on the bench watching him. I started recording a video of him on the swings; figured Hotch could use something to make him smile. I sent him the video; a few minutes later he texted. 

Hotch- Looks like he's having fun

Y/n- Yeah, after you left he helped my pick up the house

Hotch- Thank you for that, I haven't really had the time lately

Two later he ran up to me out of breath, "Ready to go?" He held on to my hand, "Yeah." I could tell as soon as he went inside the house he was going to bed. 

As soon as I unlocked the door he walked inside, "Jack don’t forget to take a shower first." He went into the bathroom and shut the door. I sat on the couch and waited for either Hotch or Hayley to come home. 

Jack finished his shower, brushed his teeth, got changed and crawled into bed. It was going on 7pm and I was still waiting. I took a nap on the couch with the tv on in the background. 

I felt a hand on my arm, I opened my eyes and Hayley was standing behind the couch. I yawned, "Jack's in bed already." She nodded and got me my money, walking me to the door. "Thank you, have a good night." 

"You too", I went outside and called Chloe. She arrived shortly after, I got in the car. 

"How was your day?"

"Spent some time with Anthony today, you?", I chuckled. "As good as spending a day with a child is." I rested my head against the seat, my eyes weighing down. 

#aaron #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #SSA HOTCHNER #hotch #Thomas Gibson #hotchner #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #Criminal Minds

[siriuscatbennett]

The First Avenger info dump because I can

Enlistment/Dog Tags/Awards:

It is canon that Bucky Barnes enlisted on his own right after Pearl Harbor (and Steve tried). This would make his dog tags a type two. His service number would start with a 1 (enlisted army soldier) and a 2 (from New York). This site can be used to generate dog tag numbers (I haven’t tried all the functions, but be aware the O for officers is a 0 starting in 1942). 

During WW2 (amongst other times), there was the Regular Army and the Army of the United States (which no longer exists). Voluntary enlisted men were in the Regular, with draftees in the other (officers were often part of both and had two separate ranks). If you choose to divert from canon and make Bucky a draftee (I personally have always liked this fanon because I’m evil), his service number would start with 32 (drafted, New York). This would also better explain why Bucky rises to the rank of Sergeant so quickly as promotions happened constantly in the AUS ( Dwight D. Eisenhower rose from a colonel to five-star general in three years). 

Steve would have a different type of dog tags than Bucky (including a different chain). He would have a type three (as would anyone between July 20, 1943 and March 31, 1944). I will illustrate the differences below with the custom tags I made for Steve's sister and Bucky in my fanfic (feel free to use the info from them). The N and 7 in her tag are for nurse.

The T42 you’ll see below is the year tetanus shots were recieved. I’ve seen some with two years and some with one. The B is blood type and the P is religion. 

Steve received an award for rescuing the POWs. Seeing as this wasn’t presented by the president, I’ve decided it was the Distinguished Service Cross. This award comes with a $2 pay raise; as a Captain, Steve previously made $200 a month, paid monthly (post-serum). Bucky made $78 as a Sergeant, with a $3.90 pay raise after 3 years of service (December 1944). Steve also obtained SSR pins after joining them (and I believe the Howling Commandos should have as well). (Even though nurses had the rank of an officer, they didn’t get equal pay until after WW2. They earned $70 a month for the first 3 years.)

Many soldiers put their second dog tag in their boot, usually slipped on the shoe laces in between the tongue and top of the shoe.

Not a fact, but I will add a link here to a website where you can either buy Bucky/Steve’s dogtags or make custom ones for $10 (personally, I would advocate for the custom as Bucky’s say he’s not from NY and show he is a draftee. Also, he has type B blood, not O. And Steve is Protestant, not Catholic. The site also states officer’s service numbers didn’t start with 9, but those with special duties did. His service number would most like be between 800000 and 999999, starting with a 0- to show he’s an officer).

Sister: Margaret E Rogers N-724669 T42 B                         P

Bucky: James B Barnes 12831412 T42 B Margaret Rogers (next of kin) 1404 Alameda Ave (next of kin address) Brooklyn NY     P (address, religion)

Italian Front:

Seeing as the 107th were venturing to England in June 1943, they most likely headed straight to Sicily from there (or diverged if they had fuel) to aid in the invasion, continuing into the invasion of the mainland before pushing troops back toward Austria. Italy surrendered at the very beginning of the invasion of the mainland, so the Allies only fought Nazis and Italian soldiers loyal to Mussolini (National Republican Army), who was arrested during the invasion of Sicily and broken out during the mainland invasion. Seeing as Chester Phillips and Peggy were with Steve, they must have joined the 107th later. In my canon, they (and Howard) join at the beginning of the mainland invasion. 

AM-lira (Allied-Military Currency), 100 "am-lire" for a U.S. dollar, was the currency specifically put into circulation for Allied Military after the landing in Sicily. It was used interchangeably with their normal currency. Once the Howling Commandoes join the SSR, they use British currency. 

The 107th’s camp pre-Battle of Azzano was most likely behind the  Volturno Line. Azzano is part of Umbria, which was about 170 miles into enemy territory. 

Post-Azzano, the camp was most likely behind the Barbara Line. Walking approx 533 miles from Kreuzberg, Austria, with troops alternating resting periods in the trucks, walking approximately 42 miles for 12 hours a day, they would reach camp in thirteen days.

Random:

Steve’s canon address according to Avengers is 1404 Alameda Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11362. This is a Queens zip code. I changed it to 11237.

As a Sergeant, Bucky would command a squad of 12 soldiers (privates), split into 3 fireteams. He was also assigned a PFC (one of the scout riflemen) as an assistant; this soldier could serve as either the squad leader's messenger to the platoon commander or could be used to relay orders to other squad teams, as needed. Sergeants are responsible for the individual training, personal appearance and cleanliness of their soldiers, and are expected to set a standard for lower-ranked soldiers to live up to.

Women did have their own army sect for part of the war (Women’s Army Corps) but they didn’t go overseas as they didn’t legally get benefits overseas {I didn’t read a lot on this, take this with a grain of salt}. They did all the non-fighting jobs like listening to radio transmissions and fixing weapons. 

On the ship, there were three-tier bunks. Enlisted men got footlockers under their beds (you could lift up the base), while officers got standing lockers. I would assume water on ships was cold, filtered from the ocean, and they had showers.

Showers were available but not popular at this time, just like hot water heaters. Many people still boiled water to take baths. People also didn’t bathe as often and there was only one kind of shampoo and no conditioner. Women made their own concoctions, used soap, or straight up would do egg masks. Hair was kept clean by doing the “100 strokes” with a hairbrush that was cleaned after every use. Indoor heating also wasn’t used everywhere, leaving many places still using things like fireplaces and wood stoves.

Soldiers used latrines in WW2. They also used a bucket of water and a bar of soap to wash. When water was unavailable and snow was, it was melted and used. They could also simply use things like rivers and lakes if available but if unnecessary, weren't used as lice was prevalent along with disease. Clothes weren't washed often (depending on the situation, some men went weeks without washing their uniform, only changing into dry socks when necessary) but when they were, they were boiled in big pots of water in mass and hung on a line to dry (there were also other ways, but I preferred this one). They carried an extra shirt, socks and laces, water canteen, ammunition, a spade, grenades, a gas mask, food rations, a cup, a wash kit (toothpaste, razor, comb, etc), first aid pouch, and a helmet (usually on their head) in their haversack's/on their belt (and rations, of couse). There was also a tent pack, but most soldiers would simply carry a raincoat. Lots of candles and oil lanterns to light the night. Canvas water bags – also known as Lister bags – were hung around camps and used for dispensing drinking water in which a dose of chlorine was added for purification.

Medical:

Morbidity from such diseases as tuberculosis (anti-tuberculosis agents didn’t begin to appear until 1949), rheumatic fever, typhus, dysentery, and malaria were high. There were tuberculosis quarantine wards separate from the other patients and were eventually evacuated. Frostbite was also common during the cold. Hepatitis A and B were also prevalent. Trench foot was also common, sometimes leading to jungle rot (often referred to as 'the creeping cruds'). PTSD was known then as 'battle fatigue'; men showcasing symptoms were often just given rest and food near the front lines and would normally rejoin the fight in a few days or were evacuated if necessary. All soldiers were vaccinated against tetanus, typhoid, smallpox, cholera, and yellow fever before shipping out. Dental hygiene was extremely important and many field hospitals were equipped with dental prosthetics. 

Food:

A-Rations referred to fresh/refrigerated meats, bread, and vegetables, prepared in mess halls. These meals were basically the same as C-rations, but fresh and always warm.

C-Rations consisted of one M-unit (12 oz can, meat), one B-unit (12 oz can, bread/dessert), and an accessory pack. Each daily ration consisted of three M-units, three B-units, and three accessory packs (one for each meal). The cans were made of tinplate. The cans had a gold lacquer finish. C-rations can be eaten cold or hot and were cooked with a Coleman's pocket stove (which was made specifically for WW2 soldiers).

M-units initially had three kinds: meat and beans, meat and potato hash, and meat and vegetable stew. In 1943, meat and spaghetti in tomato sauce was added; along with meat and noodles, pork and rice, frankfurters and beans, and chicken & vegetables in 1944. 1944 also brought a chopped ham, egg, & potato unit and compressed cereal B-units to replace meat & vegetable hash.

B-units contained crackers, three sugar tablets, loose candy (Brach's chocolate caramels, candy-coated peanuts/raisins, Charms hard candy), and a packet/small can of beverage mix (instant coffee, powdered lemon drink, or bouillon soup powder). Orange drink powder was added in 1944. Due to spoilage, the loose candy was replaced in 1944 with a Brach's fudge disk or a Jim dandy.

Accessory packs (brown butcher paper) contained sugar tablets, water purification tablets, a flat wooden spoon, a piece of candy-coated chewing gum, three 3-packs or one 9-pack of cigarettes, a book of 20 moisture resistant matches, a paper-wrapped P-38 can opener (with instructions that everyone immediately throws out), and about 22.5 sheets of toilet paper. Cigarette brands included Camel, Chelsea, Chesterfield, Craven A-Brand, Lucky Strike, Old Gold, Philip Morris, Player's, Raleigh, and Wings (these were traded constantly). Can openers were meant to be disposable but soldiers wore them on their dog tags for later use either with opening cans or other things (clean muddy boots, screw screws, open letters, strip wires, trim loose thread, and sharpen pencils). 

Seriously. They really gave every single soldier three can openers a day. With printed instructions. During metal rationing. Of which soldiers just put them on thier dog tag chains for later use. Where did all these excess can openers go? And why half a sheet of toilet paper? 

Clothes:

The nurses wore an olive drab service jacket and skirt (they are seen in pants as well) and cap, khaki shirt and tie, and brown shoes (wore nursing shoes or boots). The rank insignia (a single gold bar for second lieutenants, the vast majority of nurses) was worn on the epaulets. A gold "U.S." pin was worn on each collar, and a gold caduceus with a red N was worn on each lapel. Whenever the service jacket wasn't worn, the rank insignia was pinned to the right collar, the caduceus on the left.

Soldier’s field uniforms looked like this (with some adjustments based on gun used). And yes, the leggings are neccessary, they helped keep feet dry: 

The layout I made for Steve’s apartment (there are 2 beds and dressers in the spare room because Bucky lives there too, feel free to change this):

These aren’t all the links I used, because I’ve gone through a lot, like a lot, but here are the ones I saved that are relevant (I don’t like using wiki but I cross-checked any info stated above):

https://www.google.com/amp/s/screenrant.com/winter-soldier-mcu-complete-timeline-bucky-barnes/amp/ https://movies.stackexchange.com/questions/65170/how-did-bucky-get-the-rank-of-sergeant https://marvel-movies.fandom.com/wiki/Steven_Rogers https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_campaign_(World_War_II) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allied_invasion_of_Sicily https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allied_invasion_of_Italy https://history.amedd.army.mil/booksdocs/wwii/medsvcsinmedtrnmnrthrtrs/chapter6.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squad https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/4j8zos/pay_of_american_gis_during_world_war_ii/ https://blogs.stockton.edu/womeninwwtwo/womens-military-involvemnt/womens-nurse-corps/#:~:text=The%20pay%20of%20members%20in,per%20month%E2%80%9D%20(2). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_number_(United_States_Army) https://www.med-dept.com/articles/u-s-army-ww2-dog-tags/

Find me on Wattpad here where all of this information and more will be compiled in a Bucky Barnes series with mediocre writing (coming soon). 

#WW2 #MCU #captain america #bucky barnes #bucky #barnes #info dump #canon #fanon #fanfic #writing #marvel #the first avenger #yes I have a problem #yes I do too much research for fanfics #no I will not take criticism #enjoy #bucky barnes fanfic #steve rogers fanfic #captain america fanfic #ww2 nurse #nurse #ww2 facts

[narutos-fat-meat]

**Just Know I Mean It...**

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TAGS: cheating, ANGST, sexual content implied

*LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT TO TAG ANYTHING*

******

Stupid isn't a word people typically use to describe you. You've never been stupid, forgetful? Often. Air headed? Sometimes. It was part of your charm. But Stupid? Never. So why is it that when it comes to Ushijima Wakatoshi, you feel just that, stupid.

It's the lingering smell of perfume that clung to his clothes. You could never pinpoint exactly what it smelled like because it changed so often. One day it was ylang-ylang, the next jasmine, and the next citrus. Then it was the varying shades of smudged lipstick on his collar, carmine, maroon, crimson. The light pink lines down his back that never seemed to fade. The late-night "training" sessions. His refusal to touch you. The way his eyes dulled when you walked into a room he was in. You're not stupid, so why does he think you are?

You tell yourself that you're not sure exactly when Ushijima's attitude towards you changed. Except that's a lie, and you know it is. It started when he first joined the Schwelden Alders. You expected distance, and you expected the cold shoulder; after all, he'd never been one to tell you what he was feeling; he always trusted you to know what he was thinking. For the most part, you could tell with little to no struggle. After all, he wasn't hard to understand; all you had to do was pay attention, and by god, did you pay attention.

His first few months on the team, he'd come home exhausted, press a kiss to your temple, and trudge to your shared bedroom, where you'd join him later in the evening, and he'd pull you close to his chest, drinking in the feeling of holding you in his arms.

You loved that.

At first, He had the decency to make excuses for himself. Blaming his withdrawn attitude on the grueling practices he had to endure. Blamed the late nights and failures to come home on going out for drinks and crashing at Tobio's place. He had the decency to come home, ashamed with a bouquet of flowers. The decency to feel guilty, apologize.

You used to force yourself to believe him.

You miss that.

Maybe if he'd been more careful, cared more about sparing your feelings, you'd still be in a blissful bubble of feigned ignorance.

You see the way his team looks at you when you're around them. Like you're some sort of kicked puppy. You know that they know, and you can't help but hate them. Hate their existence. Hate their misguided loyalty. How could they stand back and watch you make a damn fool of yourself?

You recall how His team had welcomed you with open arms and claimed you as part of their pack. How they'd Assured you that if Ushijima ever did anything to hurt you, he'd have to deal with them.

The memory does nothing but sour your mood and break your heart now.

Ushijima has never been the easiest person to love. He's naturally quiet, withdrawn, and often comes off as cold, but you know him better than that.

Or at least you thought you did.

He used to hold your hand tight and not want to let go. Used to hug you from behind and press kisses to the crown of your head. Make slow sweet passionate love to you. The kind where no words need to be spoken to convey what each person is feeling.

He used to say, "I love you" and mean it.

You look at the clock as it reads 3:33 am counting the seconds in your head 56,57,58,59...3:44. How long does he think he can keep this going? It's been months, months of silent resentment. Months of your desperate attempts at staying together. How dare he take you for granted like this. The door creaks open slowly; it's his mediocre attempt at not waking you.

You haven't slept a wink yet; you close your eyes and feign sleep. You feel his eyes on you, but you can't bring yourself to open your eyes to confront him. You know he's gotten good at lying to your face, he'll say he went out for a drink. Say he lost track of time. Say that you're overreacting. He'll make it seem like it's your fault. And you'll let him. He's done it enough times after all.

Another day, how many more?

Your 5-year anniversary is steadily approaching, and you can't help but feel disgusted. You recall the day he asked you to be his how he'd promised to love you for the rest of his days—promised to hold you tight and never let go. Vowed never to hurt you. You laugh at the memory, bile rising up your throat, threatening to spill past your lips.

What a load of bullshit.

"Be home for dinner. I think we should talk" the text is simple, and yet, there's a million meanings and emotions behind it.

You wait at the dining room table expecting to be stood up like you usually were but to your surprise, he walks through the door 7 pm sharp. His hair is damp from an after-practice shower, and he smells of generic brand soap. You smile to yourself and recall how you used to tease him about it back when you first started dating—such a simple time.

Now you can't help to wonder if it's an after-sex shower as well. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of those thoughts.

You can't lose focus.

You hear the front door click shut and hear his heavy footsteps approach the room you're in. He sits down in the chair across from you, wearing an infuriating blank stare on his face. How you wish you could reach across the table and-no, it isn't about that right now.

"Y/n you wanted to talk," he says, voice monotone as always. You laugh broken and rough around the edges. Ushijima's eyes widen slightly as he realizes that your laugh isn't as he remembers it. Your laugh is angelic, airy, and it makes him go breathless.

This isn't your laugh.

"You really think I'm stupid, don't you," you say as your laugh dies down. He's taken aback "wh-" he tries, but you push on courage coursing through your veins " don't Ushijima" your use of his last name is a stab to his chest, and panic begins to pool in his stomach, "I know you've been sleeping with other women." Your eyes are wide and glassy now, brimming with unshed tears.

"I want you to know that I'm done. This is it."

His eyes shift down to where you're taking off your promise ring. The one he gave you during your last year of college. He shoots straight up out of his seat, almost as if to stop you.

It's a beautiful thing, really. A stunning sterling silver band designed to look like it was branching out. Your initials and his engraved on the inside.

Shame how it meant absolutely nothing, not to him, at least.

"Y/n what are you doing," he asks. There's panic lacing his tone, and you almost smile. Hoping this hurts him even a fraction of how he's hurt you.

"Isn't it obvious?" you say as you drop the ring on the table; it's so silent the sound almost echoes.

It's as if an eternity has passed before either of you move.

You push away from the table, your chair making an awful scraping noise against the linoleum.

Ushijima rushes to your side quickly, reaching out to hold you. "I'm..." he starts, but his words fail him.

"You're what? Sorry?" You say as you take several steps back to put distance between the two of you.

"Y/n, please let me explain," he pleads. You laugh a feeble little thing, and his heart aches.

"I did this to her," he thinks, "I hurt the woman I love."

Slowly tears that you desperately tried to keep at bay begin to stream down your face.

"EXPLAIN WHAT, EXPLAIN HOW I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING MY HEART, MY BODY, MY LIFE AND YOU THREW IT AWAY FOR WHAT FOR A CHEAP FUCK?"

You're furious.

How could he?

How dare he?

Your frame wracks with the force of your sobs, and you feel Ushijima take you into his strong arms. One arm sits snugly in your waist while the other cradles your head into his chest, letting your tears soak his shirt.  

His arms used to make you feel at home, but now you feel trapped.

"Let go," you beg, squirming uselessly, his brute strength keeping your soft body flush against his solid one. You struggle for several minutes until finally, you go pliant in his firm hold.

Soon after your sobs have died down, he lets you pull your face away from his chest, and you stare up at him, eyes red-rimmed and face stained with tears.

He looks down at you with indescribable emotion in his eyes and places a soft kiss against your trembling lips.

No. No. No.

You shove at his chest. "Please," he pleads, hands beginning to roam your body. He finally allows you to break the kiss, and you're prepared to slap, hit, kick, anything to get away from him. But his eyes are glassy with unshed tears, and his face is red and blotchy.

He's crying.

Never once had you seen him cry. Shout, yell, be violent sure. But cry? Never.

So, like you always did when it came to Ushijima, you gave in.

His lips are on yours again in an instant. He's soft and careful, cradling you as if you were glass.

The rest of the night is a blur of slow sweet passionate sex. The kind where no words need to be spoken to convey what each person is feeling. Except it's different this time. While you know that Ushijima is saying I love you.

You're saying goodbye.

He wakes the next morning to an empty spot on your side of the bed. His brain almost doesn't register for a second what's happening until he recalls the previous night, and his stomach drops.

He races downstairs, frantically calling your name. His voice desperate and pleading.

He looks everywhere in your shared home until he comes to an abrupt stop at the dining room table.

A single sheet of paper lays upon it with what he knows if your handwriting on it.

Deep down, he knows what's coming, but he still can't believe that this is actually happening.

With trembling hands, he picks up the note and reads.

"When I said I was done, I meant it.”

********

part 2!! : part 3!!

A/N: HIYA I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS FIC:) Let me know what ya’ll think I ALWAYS appreciate feedback so don’t be shy, and drop on down to my ask box and talk to me about it:)

I have both parts 2 and 3 of this written out as well so let me know if ya’ll would be interested in reading those as well:)

Request a fic or your own....maybe?

Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated:)

VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO @astrablossom AND @kzumeknma FOR PROOFREADING 

pspspspspsps @roronoa-imagines fry baby come get your food:)

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu angst #ushikawa #ushiwaka x reader #ushijima #haikyuu x y/n #hq sour hour

[magnoliasinbloom]

Lie To Me - 15

AO3 :: Previously

It’s been five days since Jamie was discharged from the hospital. Two days of antibiotics, some painkillers, and a stubborn Scot who very much dislikes being waited on hand and foot.

Claire sighs, watching Jamie sleep. He lays on his back, one arm crossed over his flat stomach, breathing deeply; the other rests in the support to avoid jarring it. She cannot forget Geillis’s call, telling her that Jamie was in the hospital for an injured hand; she can’t put from her mind the fear, the apprehension while she packed a bag and Ubered to a flat in the Bridgeton area. Geillis met her there, gave her keys, and told her to wait for Jamie.

G is really going above and beyond. Claire turns in the bed, taking in the sparse furnishings. Jamie had told her who the flat had belonged to, and the first thing she had done was change the sheets on the bed.

G had kept her away from the hospital, taking on extra shifts to cover for her; she must be exhausted. Jamie didn’t want Geillis here, said it couldn’t be risked. But still, she had gotten some of Jamie’s clothes from his flat, shopped for groceries, then finally delivered Jamie himself from the hospital.

“He’ll need help showering—not that ye’d mind, I ken.” Geillis waggles her eyebrows mischievously, trying to bring some levity into the situation.

And so, Claire shuttles between her own flat, the hospital, and spends her nights with Jamie. He tells her briefly haltingly what had truly happened to his hand. Claire weeps in horror and despair; Jamie says the best thing is to lay low for now, and he prays fervently that Grey and Murtagh will come through soon.

Claire agrees, hoping for the best, but afraid in her heart—not only for Jamie and the situation they find themselves in, but for them. Jamie, as a fit, healthy young man is understandably frustrated that he cannot do certain simple tasks with an injured hand, and truly puts the word ‘patient’ to the test. He accepts only the bare minimum of care from her, and sends her off to work every morning with a mere kiss on the cheek. Nothing else.

Jamie hasn’t touched her except when absolutely necessary, utilitarian touches to help him step out of the tub, get dressed, being handed a plate. It doesn’t help that Jamie is left-handed, and his dominant hand is the one out of commission.

Claire understands he is in pain, physical and spiritual. He wakes up in a nightmare, lets himself be comforted a bit before pushing her gently away to her side of the bed. He let her glimpse it once only, when he said, “I can bear pain myself, but I canna stand yers.”  

And Claire understands.

The rockheaded man doesn’t want to touch her, accept more of her comfort, fearing his uncles would know and come for her, hurt her like they had him.

Jamie spends his days reading, catching up on emails, working from home. The last one he’d read was from Dougal himself, telling him he was expected back at the end of the week, business as usual, injury or no. Murtagh had called only once, to tell him they were uncovering a wealth of information thanks to Randall, and to be patient, sit tight.

He supposes returning to the office would be better than moping around uselessly in the flat. It would help take his mind off lying each night next to Claire, anxious to touch her, but afraid. So afraid.

How could she still want him after all this? Perhaps she remains in the flat, caring for him merely out of a misplaced sense of duty, a physician’s oath to help and do no harm. He can’t imagine she wants to touch him either, with all these new scars he has to bear.

Jamie broods on the sofa, tapping away at his laptop one-handed until he hears the key in the lock. Claire is back, holding a Tesco grocery bag; she immediately proceeds to make dinner.  He can see some sort of chicken dish with a side of veg on the counter. What disturbs him most is Claire banging pots and utensils around, her lips pursed and the occasional huff, but she does not address him. In fact, he recalls, she did not even say hello when she walked in. It is not like her to not tell him things, so he finds his voice and asks her.

“Sassenach, what is it? Something at the hospital?”

“No.” Her tone, so icy, gives him a sinking feeling in his wame.

“Is it me?”

“Of course it’s you. It’s always you.” Claire finally turns to him, tears of frustration lining her eyes. How could he be so bloody blind? “Have I not been here for you, helping you? Or at least, trying to help you!” She throws her hands up in exasperation, tossing a tea towel onto the counter. “And you keep shutting me out.”

Jamie swallows hard. “A nighean, I havena… I mean, ye dinna ken—”

“Oh, I ken alright. Haven’t I proved beyond a doubt that I love you, that I’m not going anywhere? I’m in this as deep as it gets, and for you, James Fraser, I am willing to give myself and everything I know because I love you, you idiot!”

The words come out before she can stop them, days of not being able to express how much she is hurting for him, how much she wants to make it better for him, and can’t. Claire takes up the tea towel again and turns her back on Jamie, lips pressed tightly so he won’t hear her cry, but shoulders shaking weakly.

James is speechless, mouth agape. Finally, he says gruffly, “I’m meant to take care of ye, mo nighean donn. It is who I am, how I was raised. I want to take care of ye, cherish ye, protect ye…  but how can I do that when I couldna even protect myself?” He raises his injured hand helplessly, a familiar burst of anger in his chest that slowly dissolves as Claire turns her tear-stained face back to look at him.

“Because we can take care of each other, cherish each other. As for protection… I can protect myself too, you bloody fool. It doesn’t make you any less of a man for needing my help.” She takes a deep breath, and Jamie goes to her, his hand on her cheek as he wipes away the traces of tears.

“Mo chridhe, how can you have me like this?”

“I will have you any way I can. Always.”

“Claire, after everything ye’ve done for me—I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen time wi’ ye I wasn’t meant to have.” He turns to face her, and he finds nothing but trust and love in her gaze. “I have betrayed and broken trust. But there is the one thing that shall lie in the balance. When I shall stand before God, I shall have one thing to say, to weigh against the rest. Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God! I loved her well.”

Jamie takes her hands in his, splint and all, and Claire kisses the tips of his fingers. Twining hands together, she leads him to their shared bed. She proceeds to divest him of his clothes, and she quickly undresses herself. Jamie frowns at the black, Velcroed contraption on his hand, but Claire turns his thoughts away from it as she touches him where he wants her most.

They make love; Jamie crying out his pleasure over and over again, and only one of those times was because of pain in his hand.

x-X-x

Claire feels Jamie rise from the bed, and she burrows further under the covers as a cold puff of air takes his place. She watches drowsily as he goes to dresser where she stashed the clothes Geillis had brought him.

Jamie rummages inside the drawer, and finds one more thing he had asked Geillis to get from his flat, a small, black velvet bag. Naked, the spotty heating in the flat almost useless, he nestles closely against Claire, before pulling her up against his chest.

Sitting behind her, Jamie clumsily pours the contents of the bag into his hand with a soft, clinking noise. Claire feels something cool and hard settle against her collarbones, as Jamie places a pearl necklace over her head.

“These were my mother’s,” Jamie breathes into her ear, his voice a whisper in the dark. “They are verra precious to me, as are you, Claire.” She feels tears line her eyes again, but for a different reason.  “I give them to ye, because I canna give ye a ring yet, but take them as my promise to ye, that we will get through this until I can swear before God that I will be yours and ye can be mine forever.”

“I already am,” she says huskily, fingering the smooth white pearls in wonder.

Jamie leans forward, and kisses the freckles on her shoulder, one by one. Claire tries to turn in his arms to thank him properly, but he won’t let her, trapping her arms against her body as he continues to press his lips against her skin.

“What are you doing?” Claire asks, laughing softly.

“There are constellations here. Let me take my time, Sassenach, that I may name them all. This will take all night.”

- - -

A/N: Thank you everyone for your support! A bit of bad news: this story will go on hiatus for a couple of weeks. I’ve been having flaring wrist pains and been diagnosed with tendinitis. Although most of the story is written out (and please know that I know how this will end) the next 3 chapters are not complete. Unfortunately, because of my wrist, this means I cannot take time to type out the stuff I need, until the doctor gives me the all-clear. So let’s take 2 weeks and hopefully my wrist will be better and I can write again. Thank you for understanding! <3

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #ltm15 #thank you for reading and commenting and liking #i appreciate every single one of you

[cal-puddies]

a million little times // ashton irwin

big shout out to @kindahoping4forever for letting me work this out and coming in with the last minute help for re-ordering. i hope she was surprised because i started this so she would be. (old convo a while ago, i didn’t forget!)

word count: 2169

warnings: angsty, mentions of cheating/infidelity, mentions of sex

Masterlist // Ko-Fi

Let me know what you think!

Ash falls onto his bed. Your smell surrounds him, from the last time you were there; a tawdry 2 weeks of nakedness and sex, kissing and talking and showing you everything he could be for you. 

But you still left when Logan came back. 

Him and the band were in rehearsal for tour and he knew it’d be months before he could see you again. He wouldn’t get to see you until he was home or if Logan left and you could get away.

He catches the green toothbrush, next to his pink one out of the corner of his eye; you’d immediately gone for the green when presented with the choices and Ash happily took the pink because he was with you. He kept all of your travel stuff since he was single and if it wasn’t around at home it couldn’t raise any questions. Again, Ash was happy to, because it meant he was with you. 

He remembers the way the sheets wrapped around your body and it gave and gave and gave, and he couldn’t imagine any man not giving you absolutely everything. 

He thinks about you just in his shirt, so undone and pretty, the hours and hours of talking. Spilling all your secrets to each other, you told him about what you’d wanted in life and he told you how he wanted a family. 

Even though he subconsciously knew you were someone else’s, you always made him feel like you were his, like Logan didn’t exist, unless he brought him up first. 

*****

Logan places his cufflinks while he watches you finish your makeup, “we could have paid someone.” He mentions, checking his tie. 

“Why? it’s just a party.” You shrug. 

“You never let me spoil you.” He groans. 

“You only want it because I’m the girl on your arm.” You roll your eyes, the air was tense, like it always is anymore. “And I don’t need to be spoiled.” 

“Fine.” He huffs. 

He watches you reach for perfume, he grabs the one he got you most recently, but you reach for the one you bought for Ashton, without even thinking. 

“When did you even get that?” Logan asks, seeming to really notice it for the first time. 

“I’m not sure, a couple years ago?” You reach for Ashton’s earrings and walk out to get yourself dressed. 

When you get to the party, Ashton is the first person you look for, he’s in the middle of the room, surrounded by his friends, he smiles softly when you make eye contact.

“Should we get drinks?” Logan asks. 

You nod, leading him toward the middle of the room before heading to the bar. When you pass Ash you tuck your hair behind your ear, so he sees the earrings and gets a whiff of you. He knows that means to find you later. 

You excuse yourself to fix your makeup, Ash locks the door behind him a few minutes later, pressing himself against your back. “What do you want?” He whispers. 

“You, just you.” You murmur, turning into him, kissing him. 

It’s instantly needy, he can’t keep you in here long and you both know that. You immediately start undoing his belt, and he lifts you onto the counter, pulling your skirt up over your waist and pushing your panties to the side. 

Logan spots you when you walk back in from outside. You glance at Ashton, back with his friends like 10 minutes ago you weren’t wrapped around him. His cheeks were a little pink, but you were downright still flushed. 

Logan’s arm scoops around your back, “there you are.” Is tightly whispered in your ear. 

“It’s just a little warm, stepped out for some air.” 

“Well are you ok? You still look flushed.”

*****

Ash can’t wait, you can sense it the second you open the door to his car, leaving yours in the office lot again. 

You were heading to the Beverly Wilshire, where you spent most of your multi day sessions with him. Especially back when it was New, 5 years ago. 

His hand slides up your thigh and you glance at him. He smiles and his eyes soften, the look he gave you when you first met; Before he knew you were married, or what you did, before putting all the moves on you. It inevitably worked. You could say for certain. 

Which is why you were here now. 

You wrap your hand around the back of his neck and he puts the car in drive. 

“I hate the rules.” He murmurs, while you’re laying in bed together. 

“I know. They aren’t my favorite either.” You admit, looking up at him. “But, they keep us from overstepping.” 

“You mean they keep me from asking you to leave him again.” 

“Ashton.” You move away, pushing yourself off the bed. You grab his button down and pull it on. “We can’t do this again. You know all the reasons why…” 

Ash gets on his knees and crawls across the bed, grabbing you by the waist, “Yes, I know all the reasons why we shouldn’t have this conversation, but I have one why we should.” He presses his lips to yours. You make a “hmmm” noise, “because I love you, and you love me. And we’re great together. And you told me 3 years ago that you weren’t in love with him anymore.” 

“Yes and we almost went through with that plan and someone got cold feet.” You remind him, tapping his chest before pulling away, heading for the bathroom. 

“Does he make you cum like I do?” He calls after you. 

“You know he doesn’t.” You say, closing the door. 

Ash collapses face first on the bed, sighing. 

*****

There was barely enough space for Ash in the backseat of the SUV, and it was only now that you were twisting his curls between your fingers, head on your chest, draped over your body like a blanket that you really took notice.

“That dress looked incredible.” He murmurs. 

“Oh, did you even see it?” You breathe out a laugh, “before we got cum all over it?” You tease.

“I’m sorry, it’s been too long.” He smiles at you. 

“I know, that’s why I agreed to a parking lot meetup… didn’t know I needed a change of clothes though.” You smirk. 

“You can come back to mine?” Ash offers, knowing you’d likely say no and you should say no.

“Bubba.” You murmur. “I think I’d love that. But that doesn’t solve the ‘what will I wear home?’ Situation.” You point out. 

“Couldn’t you stay? Say you went out with the girls or stayed downtown because you worked late?”  

“I’d be pushing it.” You sigh. 

“Let me have you for the night, please?” He's so close to begging, sitting up to unleash the full power of his pout and green eyes. 

“Ash…” you reach up, resting your palm on his cheek, “you know I want that too.” 

“You’ll have to shower anyway, I’m all over you. You have stuff at my place.” He reminds you. 

“We agreed not at your place anymore… too personal, too many emotions in that bed, too easy for your friends to just pop by.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just hard you know? I want you around.” 

“I know.” You nod. 

“What do you say? Just come shower.” He tries again.

“Ok,” You agree, sitting up and reaching for your panties. You know going to his place means you’ll give in and stay the night. It’s why it became off limits in the first place. 

Ash pulls on his undershirt and pants, handing over his button down for you to put on instead of the cum covered dress. 

He gets you to stay, coaxing you to the bed so he can hold you before you shower. 

“Can I see you again this week?” He asks. 

You look over his face, he looks so unsure, lacking the confidence he normally has. “Maybe, I think Logan might be out of town this weekend. I’ll let you know.” You promise. You peck him on the lips, breathing in deep and trying to remember every bit of this night.

You text Logan that you’d be staying downtown due to working late. 

*****

Ashton knew it was wrong, the second you gave him a second glance though, he was gone. You flicked your hair off your shoulder and he saw the wedding ring, but it didn’t stop him from approaching you at the bar. 

He brushes his fingertips over your bare shoulder. “Doesn’t a pretty little thing like you have someone to fetch her drinks?” 

He can feel your eyes roll. “Yeah, sure. But did it cross your mind that I needed to get away?” You smirk. 

“Ashton.” He holds out his hand and you turn to shake it, he’s immediately breathless, staring in your eyes. You introduce yourself and occupy your time talking to him, maybe another 20 minutes. 

You lose yourself, not noticing the other people around trying to get drinks, but you notice when he puts himself in between you and a glass of wine you’d knocked with your elbow, catching the spill himself. Your eyes go wide, “I’m so so sorry!” You say, grabbing for napkins being handed to you by the bartender. 

“It’s ok… for you? I’d ruin myself a million little times.” He hushes you, giving you a sweet smile. 

He asks for your number as you get ready to move on, “Bold, since I saw you looking at my wedding ring.” You tease. 

“Just wanna talk to you again.” He shrugs, handing over his phone so you can punch in the number. 

*****

I can’t meet at the hotel. I have to meet L for dinner. 

We need to talk. 

He didn’t respond, but Ashton was waiting in your parking lot, from the early days. It sat near the beach, and you were very familiar with the traffic patterns of it. 

You see he’s not in his car so you head out to the beach and see him there, alone. 

“Hey baby.” You say quietly, standing just behind him.

“This is it, isn’t it?” He asks.

“I’m not sure. Logan’s job wants him to move… to the UK.” 

“You know we go there sometimes.” He points out. “What about your job?”

“We haven’t talked about what it means for us yet. That’s why I had to cancel our night.” You admit. 

“So, what… you wanted to come here and break my heart, kid?” He snarks back, looking back over his shoulder at you.

“Don’t be an asshole, Ash. You’ve known this thing had a time limit.” 

He sighs and stands in front of you, “I’ll always wish we’d met before you met him. Because I do think you’d be with me.” 

“Ash…” you say softly. “We can’t…” 

“Yeah… I know. Call me or don’t at this point.” He shrugs, squeezing your shoulder as he walks off. 

*****

Ash looks at himself in the mirror, it was a typically rainy day in London and he had the night off, so he was heading out to meet you at a hotel you’d picked. 

He hadn’t seen you six months, since your move to London. He knew you were miserable and hated it, you’d emailed him a bunch and he’d send the bare minimum in replies. Having the distance and the beach moment gave him clarity. 

He sighs, slipping on a jacket and then taking the elevator to slide into a car. 

He spots you immediately, and he can almost smell your perfume at the door. 

“Hi.” He mentions, standing next to you at the bar. 

“Hey,” you smile softly, moving to hug him and he looks around and shakes his head so you stop and course correct. “I’ve missed you.” You offer. 

“Yeah? My life’s been different without you.” He agrees. And then he’s quiet. He lets you talk at him a bit, but doesn’t offer anything up. 

“What’s going on?” You ask. 

He’s silent for a while longer and then swirls the glass in his hand, “You know how sometimes the world stops? And it’s like… big life changing moments? I’ve had a few of them. But 3 have been with you, and only one has been truly positive, and I don’t know if it’s meeting you, or leaving you.” He tips the glass of whiskey back against his lips. 

He slips off the stool and throws a few bills on the bar to pay for all the drinks. 

“Wait… Ashton?” You ask, confused. He can see the tears in your eyes and any other time, that’d stop him. 

“Go home to Logan…” he murmurs, “you’ll never be mine and I’m not ok with second best any more.” 

“You were never second best.” You whisper, biting your lip, holding back tears. 

“I was never gonna be the one you chose.” He shrugs. “And I’ve accepted that.” He turns on his heel to walk away. 

“I came here to choose you.” You whisper to his back.

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#a million little times #yes it is named from a taylor swift song #we have a legacy here #she's angsty #cass #cass+crystal #ashton irwin #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #ashton irwin fic