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#I have...several ideas about this information
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Picklejar Hall of Fame [Jan, Feb & March]
gonna be doing this every few months now. enjoy🎁
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Bucky Barnes
Incubus & Disney Corruption Series - @after-avenging-hours - found these so long ago and i thoroughly enjoyed them again very recently. so they deserve to be in this list💕
The Ties That Bind Us - @thevillainswhore - divorced or not, god himself will never keep me away from this man's dick🫠🫠🫠🫠
Oberyn Martell
Burning Bright - @tropes-and-tales - i read a few chapters so long ago and then lost the series somehow, but i found it again and i'm saving it here because it's so good😭💖
Frank Castle
Pretty - @chvoswxtch - the dream i had about this man lead me straight to your fic and i have ✨no regrets✨ about that💋
Miguel O'Hara
Superhuman Stamina and Hide And Seek - @astroboots - not a good idea to read this while i was ovulating🫠🫠🫠🫠
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Empty Me Out - i am a sucker for Obi-Wan losing control and you exploited that😤💐❤️
Din Djarin
Dosed - @absurdthirst - who needs ovulation when you've got a sex pollen to make you go insane for the Mandalorian?🌶️🔥🌶️🔥
Electric Heart - @hellowoolf - gnawing at my arm because of this🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
Flowers For My Mandalorian - @thefrogdalorian - this is so cute!!! offering Din flowers?? he absolutely deserves them💐💐💐💐
Like A Moth To The Flame - @the-scandalorian - this👏🏼 fic👏🏼 has👏🏼 ruined👏🏼 me👏🏼
Beloved - @groguspicklejar - shameless self promo. what are you gonna do about it? don't look at me like that👁️👁️
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Simon wakes up in the middle of the night - @thexsilentxwordsmith - what do i- what do i gotta do? WHAT DO I GOTTA DO? WHO'S SOUL DO I HAVE TO SELL?😭
Simon being obsessed with your swollen tummy - @sunsetsimon - fluff overload🩷 that's it. that's all i have. my brain has been fried by fluff🧠💥
"Since when do you drink bourbon?" - @shotmrmiller - i need to be neutered, doused in holy water and burnt at the stake because HOT FUCKING DAMN🥵🌶️🔥
Around the clock - @clairdelunelove - Simon "lone dog that strays right into your home and stays there to guard you and fix your stuff to make himself feel like he needs to earn your time of day" Riley will never not be the most precious thing ever🌻💞
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Vouyer!Gaz - @sky-is-the-limit - from now on, mirrors are my worst enemy because i cannot walk by one without suddenly having the urge to be fucked in front of it by my favourite fictional man🪞
I let my gf manscape me - Kyle needs to be taken care of and yes, i volunteer as tribute🙋🏽‍♀️ Two Best Friends And A Hoodie - if this man finds his hoodies missing, he better blame himself because i cannot be trusted around them or him and he should take better care of them🫠🌶️🔥 (both my @tfone4one)
Watch Her - @waves-against-a-cliff - you have no idea but this fic lives rent free in my mind🥵
Vegas marriage with Gaz - @mangowafflesss (+ @ethereal-night-fairy 's delicious addition) - this gave me a sever case of brainworms🥴
Release - @captainfern - listen. what do i gotta do to suck his dick? who do i have to kill? because i will do it in the name of gaz dick love🔪🌹
Fake dating Kyle - @alwaysshallow - oh, no fake dating that leads to a forced marriage🙂💍 how absolutely terrible! what ever shall i do?🙂🙂🙂 as i'm running down the isle to marry my man
Out Of Element - @cowyolks - calling Makarov to kidnap me so that Gaz can save me because i'm crazy like that teehee👽
Stay For Something - @makoodles - if you hear muffled screaming, no you didn't. if you also hear loud squelching noises, yes you do because that's the sound of gaz rearranging my guts in an attempt to rectify a relationship that should've never fallen apart in the first place and no, i have no regrets about that🌹🌹🌹🌹
Send Me Feral, Sweet Like Honey & Into The Fire - @greatstormcat - all of these. ✨chef's kiss✨ every version of gaz can fuck me 10 ways to hell and no, i do not regret disclosing that information🔥
Show Me Out - @wiinterz - i was not prepared for how fucking cute this was and i am emotionally damaged my this fic🌸
Bloody Shame - @glossysoap - you need jailtime for this because how dare you exploit my weakness for Kyle "best friend who's secretly in love with you and would jump at the opportunity to fuck you" Garrick🥵🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ma'am, i'm putting you under arrest for stealing my wretched heart🔒🗝️
John "Soap" MacTavish
The key to solving Johnny's bad mood - @soap-ify - is it bad that i want to purposefully put him in a bad mood so he can do this?👀
I need your discipline - @crashandlivewrites - Soap sending nudes is never accidental and i will die on that hill but dammit is it fucking entertaining either way🌶️🥴
Cbf!johnny - @shotmrmiller - when i tell you that i needed a freezing cold shower after this... way to drag me all the way to hell🫠🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fwb!Captain MacTavish - @waves-against-a-cliff - can we PLEASE leave our legs open for this bear of a man?👽👽👽👽👽👽
Forgotten Sorrows - @ethereal-night-fairy - you must enjoy breaking hearts because why are you out to get me like this🙃💔 like honestly, every time i go back to read this fic again, i'm left in tears over how exquisitely gut-wrenching it is. so thanks for taking a sledgehammer to my heart🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 (p.s- that PriceWitch x reader smut? a soothing balm to my soul after the hurt you left✨)
John Price
Price with a breeding kink - @luvit - finding out that i don't want kids... unless it means i'm being bred by Jonathan Price was an 💫experience💫
John Price x witch!reader - @neoarchipelago - that's it. i'm taking courses on how to be a shapeshifter because if this is what it takes to find my fictional man, then so be it🐈‍⬛
The Space In Between - @391780 - this exquisite mafia fic will always have me in a chokehold and i have made my peace with that because i wouldn't have it any other way🥂🖤
Who wears the pants - @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries - husband!price being a total simp for his wifey and getting jealous when his boys see how beautiful she is? sign me. the fuck. up🔥
Price Headcannons - @blckbrrybasket - listen. idk who's giving you this information but these are the most accurate hc of john price i've ever seen. who's your source?👀 and don't think i didn't catch the rest of the 141 hcs too, you're on my radar now👀👀👀👀
At The Barber - @sofasoap - i think it's extremely accurate when price doesn't want to go to the barber because he's anxious about somebody holding a sharp object to his neck and you've captured that beautifully💖💖💖💖
Captain Knows Best - @slater-baby - kelsi.exe has stopped working😵‍💫💫😵‍💫💫😵‍💫💫 i need to be checked into a mental hospital because this wrecked my brain and my pussy beyond repair🔥🔥🔥
Touchy - @glossysoap - my thighs are available 24/7, 365 days a year for this man and i have absolutely no shame about that🎀
Konig
Bite me. Love me. - @cookiepie111 - if he's a walking red flag then we are at a carnival and i'm colour blind🎠🎪
Geto Suguru
Mine, Mine, Mine! - @teamatsumu - when will i find my feral alpha who wants to breed me? when?🫠
Todoroki Shouto
Fingerprints - @andypantsx3 - i'm so glad i found this fic again because i binged it and licked it off my girl dinner plate with not an ounce of shame🍽️
Bakugo Katsuki
Resistance - @yesitsmewhataboutit - genuinely sad when i lost this fic before i saved it but the fanfiction gods took pity on my soul and brought it back onto my lap💐 love you for this masterpiece💞
Honourary Mentions
The Pit - @peachesofteal - Peach, i will never not be in awe of your dark and twisty fics and this one in particular because it's so phenomenally delicious🪻🌑
soap x reader x ghost - @rowarn - i volunteer as tribute for Johnny to learn his new skills on me🙋🏽‍♀️
Netflix And Chill - @luvit - am i ashamed of the whore i became because of this fic? nope. absolutely not and i thank you for it🔥🔥🔥🔥
The Highlands Of Your Heart - @spectres-n-soap - how. dare. you. break. my. heart. like. this🙃💔 ...do it again (no, i'm kidding pls don't)
Let Me In - @eilidh-eternal & @groguspicklejar - this wasn't meant to become a whole series but that's what happens when a fanart sparks the creativity of two moots and thus, an accidental fanfiction series was born✨✨✨✨
mafia!141 - @cordeliawhohung - since we're mafia sister wives, i think this series deserves a spot in this hall of fame🖤✨ taking my time to read this because i want to savour it
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maraudersmyloves · 2 days
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NSWF ABC's JAMES POTTER K-Z
smut 18 + If there's one missing i either didn't have an idea for it or didn't feel comfortable writing it
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Location
thighs, i did a blurb about this once. He just loves your thighs
Motivation
any physical touch with you can get him going, no matter how innocent. He loves just cuddling and kissing too don't get me wrong, but he definitely does not need a lot to to get going. I mean, it's you.
When you're sitting on his lap. You're just moving around trying to get comfortable when he grips your waist to stop you, kisses your shoulder, and informs you if you continue moving you'll have something poking at your ass. So you continue.
No
not a fan of anything that could hurt you. Why would he want to hurt his princess? He just wants to kiss you and make you feel good.
Oral
that man is a munch and you can't tell me otherwise. He loves the feeling of you desperately pulling at his hair and squirming under him, your thighs wrapping around his head to try and close your legs. If it didn't make it harder for him to lick at your pussy he wouldn't pull them apart again. He could go for hours, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you while you cry out his name. He'd start out as a tease but after a while of you begging him to stop kissing everywhere but the place you need it the most he couldn't help himself and just dives right in.
Pace
slow and sensual all the way. He wants to learn your responses to what he does and kiss you while your face is screwed up in pleasure.
Quickie
he doesn't have anything against a good quickie but he much prefers to have you laid out in front of him slowly kissing all over your body
Stamina
could go for hours, several rounds. Switching positions and teasing you. He'd need a minute to recover after the first round so he just switches to eating you out or fingering.
Unfair
while he loves teasing you, he's not very good at it because he wants you just as bad. He'll tease you until you're begging while he's already humping the bed to not give in.
Wild card (random headcanon)
You two tried cockwarming once, while you were studying and he was whining and moaning about how badly he wanted you to move the whole time
Yes
please mark him. He loves to look in the mirror the days after and see remains of you. The scratches on his back are his favorite and whenever they stop looking so angry and red he makes sure to fuck you hard enough to get new ones.
zzZ
he refuses to fall asleep before you're both properly cleaned up. but as soon as that's done he's fast asleep with you in his arms.
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bakubunny · 3 days
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*insert sound effect of bell ringing as i skip into bunny’s bakery*
HAPPY 2.5k HUN! well deserved! :3
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I’d like to order two slices of pie. pretty please.
1. bnha, izuku, lemon meringue
2. jjk, megumi, blueberry
i have no specifications, surprise me. i’ll eat anything you serve <333
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hi starr!! okay so, in truth, i put yours off a bit because between us and our moots, a lot of izu has been written. i wanted to discuss something i hadn’t before, and it took me a while to get an idea i liked. megumi on the other hand… i feel as though i don’t know him well, but i’ll give it a shot. i hope you enjoy and that you feel better soon, love! thanks so much. i’m glad you’re here. <3
tw: dark content (megumi), yandere behavior
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name: midoriya izuku
order: lemon meringue pie
lemon meringue: the first time pro bf!izuku overheard you getting off, his knees almost buckled. it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, your pretty mewls behind closed doors made his cheeks hot and his heart swell. he had to stop himself from busting in the room immediately; he didn’t want to freak you out or make you think he’d overheard you intentionally. but hearing the sweet, breathless coos of his name when he wasn’t even in the room made him tremble. he was confident he’d fallen in love with you all over again. whether or not he decides to knock gently and give you what you’re craving or listen quietly, i’ll let you decide.
name: fushiguro megumi
order: blueberry pie
blueberry: yandere!megumi is a silently obsessive type. dreams about keeping you all to himself, locked up in his basement, but he knows better than to try that. he knows more about you than he should, and somehow obtained a lock of your hair that he has stored neatly for safe keeping. you knew each other in high school when his obsession started. it’s lasted several years past graduation, and even though you work independently from each other for the most part, he keeps up on every detail of your life. he has to act as though everything you’re telling him is new information when you have coffee and catch up or work together on something.
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bunny’s bakery (closed)
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tartilli · 24 hours
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wrio, neuvi, nd haitham w a gn!reader who has like the most angelic awooga voice and looks ever but has such an unhinged personality that it removes from the prior facts🧍. this is not a rq this is a demand
G/N!Reader x Wriothesley / Neuvillette / Alhaitham
can be read as platonic or romantic, whichever you prefer, really :)
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a/n: HELLO HI MILLIE i'm so sorry this took so long(i've been taking my finals) but i finally finished it!!!
this is my first time answering a request so i hope this is to your liking, there's mild swearing so proceed with caution if that isn't your thing
also i had no idea how to write any of the characters you mentioned so i had to study their characters and read fics centered around them
i wasn't entirely sure what format you wanted(bullet headcanons form or fic form) so i kind of went for a mix of both, if that's okay
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WRIOTHESLEY(i learned how to spell his name right just for this)
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when he first hears your voice, he is, to put it simply, taken a back.
if he's being honest, you're pretty good looking, but not exceptionally so(and it certainly doesn't help that you're in fontaine of all places).
so it comes as a surprise when you open your mouth, and the most heavenly sound wriothesley's ever heard, emerges from it.
it takes him several seconds to process it.
when he finally regains his composure, he shakes it off as just another new interesting thing in his life.
it soon becomes apparent, though, that the archons themselves unleashed you onto teyvat with the intent of bringing chaos to the land.
the two of you are playing tgc in his office, everything is going great(he's mostly winning) until you put down your deck, a serious expression on your face.
"wriothesley, i swear to the archons, if you win another game, i will shit on my first born."
okay what. just, what the actual fuck-
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NEUVILETTE
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being known as the aloof and serious ludex of fontaine, neuvilette has never been one for idle chat(really, it's moreso the fact that he's poor at it rather than any actual distaste for the thing).
so when he hears your voice for the first time, he thinks it notable, but decides not to comment.
however, as the two of you begin to spend more and more time together, he muses that hmm maybe he should mention it. so he does.
he doesn't want you thinking that he doesn't like your voice because he does! really, he does.
it soothes him, reminding him of the the soft gurgling sounds made by the waters of a river as waves rush past or the melodic sound of dewdrops falling off a leaf the morning after he finishes crying.
in short: neuvilette really likes your voice
but he's also incredibly concerned for its owner
the two of you will be walking around fontaine, enjoying eachother's company and discussing a confidential topic that neuvillette is privy to information concerning, you'll turn to him and say with the most casual expression on your face:
"if you tell me, i promise to give you each of my toes."
just when neuvillette thinks that he's beginning to understand humanity, he's proven wrong.
when he relays this to you, you only laugh.
privately, he's already compiled a list of all the best therapists in teyvat.
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ALHAITHAM
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"you have a unique voice."
that's the first thing he says upon meeting you.
well, at least he cut to the chase?
it's a secret to no one that alhaitham finds your voice amusing.
he'll often introduce you to new people just to see the shock on their faces when you make, what he likes to call, one of your statements.
he, himself, was a victim of one.
he'd been reading a book about the mortal body and its parts- fascinating stuff, really, when you walked up to him.
with the straightest face in all of teyvat, in your silky, angel-like voice, you uttered the sentence:
"only cool people don't have reproductive organs."
you proceeded to skip away as if you'd said nothing to him at all.
alhaitham was left bewildered(and a bit impressed).
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AAAA it's done
if it's bad it's probably because i was too tired to proofread 😞 but hopefully this isn't too ooc
i don't really like this one as it doesn't really display my personal writing style distinctively enough, i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless, though!
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hacked-by-jake · 1 day
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[MC (they-them) × Jake × fluff]
MC stepped out of the police station, relieved to have finally finished the last report on the Hannah case, feeling the warmth of the sun on their face and the crisp spring air filling their lungs. They glanced at their watch, already mentally mapping out their route to the next town where their expertise was needed. But before they could take another step, a mysterious figure clad in black approached them, sunglasses hiding his eyes, a hood obscuring his features.
"Are you MC?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
They nodded cautiously as he handed them a sealed envelope without another word. Without waiting for a response, the enigmatic figure vanished into the bustling street. Intrigued and slightly unnerved, MC tore open the letter, their curiosity piqued by the unexpected delivery, despite already having a premonition about the sender of this letter..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
𝘔𝘺 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘔𝘊,
I'm sending this letter to assure you of my safety.
As I sit here, penning these words to you, my heart races with both excitement and trepidation. The events that unfolded during our recent mission have left me both exhilarated and wounded, both physically and emotionally. But above all else, they've left me longing for your reassuring presence.
I write to you now, not from a place of despair, but from a place of hope and determination. Despite the close call and the injuries sustained, I want you to know that I am safe and on the path to recovery. The mine left me with several, light injuries. The burns may sting, but they are nothing compared to the ache in my heart from being away from you.
MC, our partnership has been nothing short of extraordinary. Together, we've faced challenges that most would shy away from, and emerged victorious against all odds. The way you fearlessly tackled every obstacle, with unwavering resolve, fills me with an indescribable pride. You are the true hero in this story.
Yet, amidst the chaos and danger, I can't shake the feeling of guilt for putting you in harm's way. Please know that it was never my intention to cause you worry or pain. If anything, I am in awe of your strength and resilience, and I am eternally grateful for your unwavering support.
As we embark on this temporary separation, I find solace in the knowledge that it is only a matter of time before we reunite. I've been informed about the City near Duskwood, where they requested your assistance. Moonvale awaits us with its mysteries and challenges, and I have no doubt that together, we will conquer whatever obstacles lie ahead.
Until then, my love, take comfort in the knowledge that I carry you with me always, in every beat of my heart and every thought that crosses my mind. Stay strong, stay safe, and know that I am counting down the moments until we can be together again.
I, too, will personally ensure your safety. Nymos and I are committed to clearing your path and doing whatever it takes to protect you. I've shared my vulnerability with you before, and in light of the recent events at Grim Rock, I find myself even more dependent and at your mercy.
I'm incredibly proud of you for cracking the case and saving my sister. The challenges you confronted, the horrors you endured, and the loss of Richy... I can only begin to fathom the emotional anguish you're experiencing, but I vow to be your unwavering support, concealed in the shadows, yet ever-present by your side, even if you cannot perceive me. I will never leave you alone.
MC, my love, I promise you, we will see each other again when the time comes.
With all my heart,
Jake
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A/n: A little thing after the release of the date, just a little idea. Actually, I just wanted to post the letter, but decided to add the first part, just as an introduction. Letters from Jake are just great, aren’t they? :) I was a bit proud for the wording here. Even if the first part is pretty short and not so detailed. But well, writing Jake is a stress-lovely something. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and I hope you will have a fantastic day/evening/night! 💚
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groguspicklejar · 2 days
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i might say something that will offend you in this post because i may have certain misconceptions and stereotypes about the lgbtqia+ community that i'm probably unaware of. but hopefully, this comes off across from a good place and any offense taken was completely unintentional and i apologize in advance. these are my opinions and mine alone because this is what i've noticed so far in my 22 years of life on this wretched earth:
in african culture, when a woman gets married, the groom's family has to pay dowry. and when that woman dies, she will be buried with her husband's family's graveyard, instead of being buried in her family's graveyard.
now i knew the first part of that for a long time, but i didn't know the second part and i was horrified when i did because why would my husband's family want to keep me after i'm no longer of service to them? because that's what marriage is to me, that's how i see it. a transaction. in the current age of alpha pod cast bros, incels and the men in my own country being inherently misogynistic anytime i express myself in a way that challenges how they view women, i've come to the conclusion that marrying someone from my own culture would probably kill me in more ways than one.
it would kill me in the sense of me knowing that there's more to life than being reduced to an unpaid maid, surrogate, sex machine and other things that are physically, mentally and emotionally debilitating.
i'd asked an older woman (40s) from an african culture about this and she... tried to make it seem as though the dowry thing wasn't a transaction and more like the groom's family saying thank you to the bride's family for raising such an upstanding young lady for their son. which, in hindsight, was just her trying to dampen the severity of what was actually going on and i think she was trying to make me feel less apprehensive about the idea of marriage, fully knowing that it will always, always, always put women at a disadvantage in some way, shape or form.
she, herself, is married. has been for over 20 years now. and she's someone close to me, someone who i regard very highly.
but for her to... i don't wanna say lie about the dowry thing because i feel like she has a different opinion than mine, but the way she looked at me when i asked her about it makes me aware that it's a sensitive issue and she didn't want to frighten me so the only way to do that was to not tell the truth.
and that lowkey makes me trust her less now, which hurts because i really do value her opinion on things. because i want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how brutal it is, if i'm going to make an informed decision about certain things that might alter the course of my entire life.
anyway, dowry, husband's family claws to you, even after death. terrifying thought. my point is that in whatever cultures i hear about, whatever cultures i come across, there's always going to be a woman being exploited somehow. whether she's bought, sold or abused by someone close to her so that the men can benefit from it, there's always going to be that element to some degree and i think as women, especially, the younger generation, need to be made aware of it.
which then brings me to another issue that i now have to face because of this, which is the subject of my asexuality because it directly contradicts everything there is about being a woman in my particular culture. especially the part where it involves sex. and those of you from ethnic cultures and are part of the lgbtqia+ community know this struggle. it may vary from the gays, to the lesbians, to the bisexuals, to the transgenders, nonbinaries and so forth, but the different struggles we all face are connected by the same things and that's the horrifying and intricate beauty of the patriarchy and white supremacy.
what do i mean by this? the main point of all this is that sexual intercourse is a tool used to obtain and maintain power in a heterosexual relationship. and anyone who does not fall in a heterosexual relationship is seen as not normal or a threat or something negative.
let's take a gay relationship, for instance. perhaps there's two men in a relationship. since there isn't a woman in the equation, society sees it as wrong. society sees it as a threat to the heterosexual, patriarchal structure that has been built. why? since there isn't a woman in the equation that needs to fulfil the role of being subjugated and exploited in some way.
same with lesbian relationships, but it's slightly different in the sense of there isn't a man in the equation to do the exploiting. just two women existing in a relationship, no man involved as the center of attention, no man that needs his every desire to be catered to.
i feel like lesbians are the luckiest people because they don't have to deal with men the way straight women, gay men and other people do and it just goes to show that sexuality really isn't a choice. if it was, i'd chose not to be attracted to men.
with a bisexual, you're pressured to "pick a side" because being attracted to more than one gender, according to society, is also wrong. also, just because you're in a relationship with someone of one sex, doesn't mean you're still not attracted someone of another sex. not sure if this applies to pansexuals as well, but i think it does.
if it's a nonbinary person or gender neutral, also a problem because not conforming to one specific gender, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel or how it really is not something you can truly identify with.
transgender: transitioning from one gender to the other. also a problem, according to society because apparently it's wrong to identify with something you're not born as?? if i'm putting it lightly and in the simplest terms that i understand it. adding to that, society sees it as a problem because transgender men (or anyone who wasn't born a woman) carrying children and transgender women not having children is not what the patriarchy is about, therefore it is a threat to it because of how non-traditional it is. that and so much more regarding being transgender, it's a huge threat to the system(s) put in place and i think that's why they're at a higher risk of being physically put in harm's way which is frightening to think about.
asexual: since you're not attracted to anyone or don't want to have sex with anyone, you're a problem to society because you are that much harder to exploit if you aren't in a relationship with a man. because you're either "too picky" (code for; your standards are too high and i can't step up my game to reach them) or "you're sick and need to see a doctor" (code for; i can't seem to change your mind and neither have countless others, so i can't seem to find a way to force you to be in a relationship with me therefore my only other option is to make you feel like you're weird for not allowing that) or "you'll meet the right one" (you'll meet that one person who will finally get under your skin enough to sink their teeth in and use you the way they want to) or any other phrase the average asexual has heard.
like all of these things centered around men and men's desire for sex, for marriage, for children.
still, even if i wasn't asexual, even if i was just another straight woman, it wouldn't have made that much of a difference (if any at all) because i still stand firm in my belief that marriage was built as a transaction, as away to suppress and oppress women's voices and autonomy because the world i live in has not changed its ways regarding how daughters, wives and mothers are treated in households that are apprently supposed to protect them.
maybe my opinion might change when i'm older. maybe that's when men stop acting like complete monsters to us. maybe i might find that one guy who isn't as monstrous as the rest and even then, i'll still question if i'd want to be vulnerable enough to willingly legally bind myself to him and him to me. and if i do want that, then fine. so be it.
but as of right now and always? having kids? out of the question. married or not, i am not having a child for one reason or the next. i've seen myself around children, okay? i don't like the person i become when a kid pushes my boundary. i don't like having to suddenly question the morality of smacking a kid and telling them to shut up before i do something worse. and i can barely remember to eat and i hate cooking on a regular basis, the mere concept of feeding someone else at regular intervals so they grow up healthy is mentally exhausting, on top of doing countless other things to make sure that they grow up to be functional adults.
all of that is required as a woman, especially in my culture. i'm expected to get married and have kids at some point in my young adult life. but i don't know if i have it in me for even one of those things and i'm damn sure that i don't want the other.
the african woman i spoke of, i worry for her because when she dies probably maybe 3-4 decades from now because she's still in her 40s godwilling, her children will have to advocate for her when she can't, they will have to stand 10 toes down and demand that she be buried with the family she grew up in because that's what she said she wanted and not the family she married into. and i know they will because they love her too much not to grant her that final wish and let any cultural practice to get in the way of her last moments of happiness.
anyway, that's all i had to say.
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Follow up to my silly little Vees in Heaven AU that I might as well keep developing because people seem to like it lmao. This is my basic idea of how each of them individually would react to ending up in Heaven :)
Vox: Would probably behave like a normal person the longest because A; being in Heaven for an extended period of time could offer some Business Opportunites and B; he cares about his image so fucking much, and given that he was probably pretty well known while he was alive I don't think he'd want the people of Heaven knowing about all the evil business man shit like, at all. Though the monotony of Heaven would ABSOLUTELY drive him up the fucking walls. Nothing ever happens there. He can barely even network because Heaven doesn't have anything even RESEMBLING the overlord system down in Hell, there's no rank mobility for mortal souls. And that's assuming Sera even lets him DO anything because sinners ascending at all is a pretty fuckin new concept and she would at the very LEAST want to keep the news from spreading until she figures out what the fuck is going on. Either way it's not like he can do much because oh god what would PURPOSEFULLY going back to Hell do to his reputation!?!? He's stuck between a rock and a hard place and hating every second of it, but hey at least he can try to. Get some Heaven shit for Voxtech. And his head probably(?) isn't a TV anymore-
Velvette: Lasts for a couple months(or however long it takes her to get whatever information/materials she deems useful) before she starts causing problems on purpose. Think Respectless x100. It's even worse cause Sera has absolutely no experience dealing with this kinda shit. It's also terrible for Vel because nothing she's doing is getting her sent back down! As much as Sera wants to, she has to keep the "sinners ascending" thing contained until she figures out wtf is going on, which means no going back to Hell until Sera can discuss things with HER higher ups, which based off of how little Sera seems to know abt how Heaven works just. In general. Is probably nigh impossible. So Velvette's just stuck in Heaven, constantly attempting whatever she could possibly do to go back to Hell. Probably starts off small like just pissing Sera off on purpose every way she can, insulting people, etc because she also doesn't wanna do anything bad enough to get herself like. Executed or some shit. But as time presses on and shit just keeps Not Working she keeps upping the anti until she's wracked up several counts of arson and is being held in the closest thing Heaven has to a prison. Which she'll probably find ways to cause problems from there too Idk.
Valentino: He's in Heaven for like 5 seconds and then immediately just
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Its like having Adam back only he's Worse and Does Not Want To Be Here.
Now I would like to note, all of this is very dependant on whatever plot points might be happening around them? Cause like I said in the original post there's def a lot of Heaven/Hell drama going on in the background that would definitely effect the plot of the AU, but I don't really know. What that is yet. Because it means doing more world building hcs then I am mentally equipped to make rn. So for now these are just what I think their ✨general reactions✨ would be + a stupid doodle of Val I did last night.
Also I need a name for this AU. My only real idea is Heavenly Vees? But that feels kinda basic idk. Maybe HeavenVee? Idk-
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phoenixcatch7 · 10 months
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ASDFGHJKL
Just been talking to this npc and he was like 'oh hey!! Nice of them to send out a guy so soon after I sent my letter!' and when link did his little talking hand gestures my full expectation was the next words to be 'omg the hero?? Zeldas knight?? The champion of hyrule? You guys were missing it was all over the kingdom!!'
Npc: oh, so you're just some guy? Man, I thought they would have sent someone out by now, I've been waiting ages...
A) no you haven't
B) Link, WHAT????
Asdfghjkl??? NO WONDER he's been Tony Hawked he's not even introducing himself with his name??!
Actually... Given what other people have been calling him, I think he's been introducing himself as 'just a wandering swordsman'.
LINK THAT WAS YOUR FAULT THE WHOLE TIME???
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Asshole Things Ambrose Has Said/Done #8: Describe Cyrus' relationship with Malistaire as "odd" then sends a child, essentially a stranger to Cyrus, with no business with being involved in their family issues, to extract information out of Cyrus on how to kill his brother (a grieving man)
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months
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def made a post bout this before but Heaven Knows Im Not Hunting For It anyway how public. yall think sawashiro was once aoki became governor right.... like do we know what im asking rn.......
#snap chats#of course ill elaborate in the tags#god hang on. chest pain. YEAH NO I FOUND OUT THE FOOD I HAD EARLIER HAD LENTILS IN IT#AND IM SEVERELY ALLERGIC TO LENTILS SO THATS WHY IVE BEEN DYING#anyway no Elaboration Time#cause im ASSUMING the public didnt know about aokis connections to the yakuza.....#and im sure they'd recognize an Omi Alliance Pin the second they saw it..... so like...#i dont think he's REGULARLY walkin round with dude in tow.....#still laughing at sawashiro tagging along to the hospital like Bro Why Are You Here..... Who Invited You.....#jo the fuck're you doing when you aren't shoved into the closet in aoki's office like what do you DO dawg#feels like he kinda does just float in space... i mean he was there for the whole Dinner Debacle#so its not like Divorce happened and he's not rockin with arakawa anymore#i guess it's not impossible to imagine bro does work with arakawa he just. sometimes bounces over to aoki's office#yeah that makes sense Fair Nuff#'snap why are you asking this' well FOR YOUR INFORMATION ive ALWAYS wondered but also it's relevant to a comic i might make#it's nothing major if sawashiro Is a weird little secret it just means i have to mod my comic idea a bit#but honestly maybe not much.... naw i already have a vision for it OK Im Set For Later Then. Still Wanna Know Tho.#oh yeah. ive given up writing tonight LMAO#I TOLD YALL NEVER TRUST ME WHEN I SAY SOMETHING I ALMOST DONE#writing just feels so stale to me i feel like whatever im writing isnt actually interesting#oh well. still gonna push through with it im just tired rn LMAO#and since streaming's gonna start sooner i really should sleep sooner..
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charonte-simi · 2 years
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Retreated to the woods for a couple days and in the midst of my solitude I had to confront some really interesting things I had internalized about relationships and, shockingly enough, parenthood.
It really all comes back to perfectionism at it's roots. Also being afab and the stupid fucking messaging we're forcefed. But needless to say it's making me question some core stances that shaped my personality but I'm filing those away to be mulled over at a later date cause I do NOT have the bandwidth to deal with that shit rn
#cant be in a relationship because conflict = failure and my perfectionism cant allow that *eyeroll*#also cant parent because if rhe kid so much as has a bad day = failure as a parent#and god forbid that kid not make it out of childhood without carrying some form of trauma = greatest failure ever *eyerolls even harder*#also ''starting a family'' must = birthing the child yourself as an afab person <- no longer the case nowadays#also sidenote im just fucking lonely? drastically so. a family could be cool?? maybe???? fuck i have no idea#its a terrifying prospect but is that only so because of my perfectionism?#much introspection to be had#shits hard#i could very well come out the other end of this still not wanting that family structure tbh#its very possible nay even likely#but it feels important that i at least humor the thought and actually genuinely consider it#then i can make a truly informed decision about what i want my future to look like#rather than continue living by standards that old me set up unquestioningly#hell i dont even have to do the family thing i could just partner up with someone#or several someones#its fucking scary because that person is out of my control (duh) and thats unacceptable for my perfectionism. so we opt out#but why am i letting that dumb voice in my head dictate how i live?? why does it have authority over me and my decisions???#like wtf that goes againt everything im about fuck off trying to tell me what to do#idc that its a voice in my head it doesnt get to boss me around. *I* control me. period. and that voice is decidedly NOT me#simi speaks
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sophiamcdougall · 7 months
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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again
I mean, I am. But still.
So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.
So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.
At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.
Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell
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So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.
I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.
This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.
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Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.
I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.
Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.
We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.
"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."
"A what," he asks.
"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"
"Oh! A turtle!" he says.
"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.
The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.
"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.
"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.
"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.
"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??
The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?
I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.
"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."
"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.
"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!
So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.
(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)
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thistlecrimes · 4 months
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Things I've learned from getting covid for the first time in 2023
I wear an N95 in public spaces and I've managed to dodge it for a long time, but I finally got covid for the first time (to my knowledge) in mid-late November 2023. It was a weird experience especially because I feel like it used to be something everyone was talking about and sharing info on, so getting it for the first time now (when people generally seem averse to talking about covid) I found I needed to seek out a lot of info because I wasn't sure what to do. I put so much effort into prevention, I knew less about what to do when you have it. I'm experiencing a rebound right now so I'm currently isolating. So, I'm making a post in the hopes that if you get covid (it's pretty goddamn hard to avoid right now) this info will be helpful for you. It's a couple things I already knew and several things I learned. One part of it is based on my experience in Minnesota but some other states may have similar programs.
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The World Health Organization states you should isolate for 10 days from first having symptoms plus 3 days after the end of symptoms.
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At the time of my writing this post, in Minnesota, we have a test to treat program where you can call, report the result of your rapid test (no photo necessary) and be prescribed paxlovid over the phone to pick up from your pharmacy or have delivered to you. It is free and you do not need to have insurance. I found it by googling "Minnesota Test to Treat Covid"
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Paxlovid decreases the risk of hospitalization and death, but it's also been shown to decrease the risk of Long Covid. Long Covid can occur even from mild or asymptomatic infections.
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Covid rebound commonly occurs 2-8 days after apparent recovery. While many people associate Paxlovid with covid rebound, researchers say there is no strong evidence that Paxlovid causes covid rebound, and rebounds occur in infections that were not treated with Paxlovid as well. I knew rebounds could happen but did not know it could take 8 days. I had mine on day 7 and was completely surprised by it.
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If you start experiencing new symptoms or test positive again, the CDC states that you should start your isolation period again at day zero. Covid rebound is still contagious. Personally I'd suggest wearing a high quality respirator around folks for an additional 8-9 days after you start to test negative in case of a rebound.
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Positive results on a rapid test can be very faint, but even a very faint line is positive result. Make sure to look at your rapid test result under strong lighting. Also, false negatives are not uncommon. If you have symptoms but test negative taking multiple tests and trying different brands if you have them are not bad ideas. My ihealth tests picked up my covid, my binax now tests did not.
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EDIT: I'd highly suggest spending time with friends online if you can, I previously had a link to the NAMI warmline directory in this post but I've since been informed that NAMI is very much funded by pharmaceutical companies and lobbies for policies that take autonomy away from disabled folks, so I've taken that off of here! Sorry, I had no idea, the People's CDC listed them as a resource so I just assumed they were legit! Feel free to reply/reblog this with other warmlines/support resources if you know of them! And please reblog this version!
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I know that there is so much we can't control as individuals right now, and that's frightening. All we can do is try our best to reduce harm and to care for each other. I hope this info will be able to help folks.
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cocklessboy · 9 months
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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thebreakfastgenie · 2 months
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It is extremely disturbing how many posts I see claiming that Roe v. Wade was overturned on Biden's watch and blaming him and the Democratic Party for it. It's disturbing on a number of levels.
First, it was Trump and Bush-appointed justices who handed down the Dobbs decision. This is a flagrant example of blaming Democrats for things Republicans did, and not coincidentally is one of the the most widely felt differences between the two parties. As a result, it's usually the first example Democrats and their allies point to; this misappropriation suggests a deliberate attempt to undercut that fact.
Secondly, and related to the first point, it obfuscates who the real enemy is, and I am comfortable using word "enemy" to describe the Republican Party because of the policies they advocate and enact. The truth is that states controlled by the Republican Party were where the effects of Dobbs are most severely felt, while states controlled by the Democratic Party are passing laws to protect abortion. It is important to know which party opposes abortion and which party supports it. If the Republicans gain control of the House, Senate, and White House, they will pass a national abortion ban, as they have done at the state level in several places.
Thirdly, blaming Biden for Dobbs demonstrates a very concerning lack of understanding of how the government functions. The judiciary is its own branch of government; judges are appointed by the president and confirmed by the senate. It doesn't matter who is president when a decision is handed down, it matters who was president when the justices were appointed. People sometimes react to this by moving the goalposts and claiming the real issue was a failure by Democrats to "codify" Roe v. Wade. I am not sure what "codify" means in this context, and I'm not sure they are either. One thing it does not mean is that congress can pass a law saying "abortion is legal forever." Republicans could easily repeal such a law and it the federal government cannot necessarily prevent states from restricting abortion at the state level. Roe v. Wade was a ruling stating that the constitution guaranteed a right to privacy, which included the right to have an abortion. This prevented abortion restrictions in a way federal law cannot. That doesn't mean passing federal law protecting abortion is a bad idea, but it isn't a foolproof protection. It's fair to argue that the Democratic Party and the left of center generally were complacent about abortion. The form of this complacency was not taking the courts seriously, while the right spent fifty years openly filling the courts with anti-abortion judges.
The last thing that worries me is that this is popping up phrased almost the exact same way all over the place. I am afraid that it is not merely incompetence, but intentional misinformation, that is then repeated by the incompetent who believe it.
I know some will probably dismiss this post as being from a "vote harder" liberal Biden supporter, but whatever your feelings about Biden, the Democratic Party, or the democratic process in the U.S., you should care about the truth. The truth is that Roe v. Wade was overturned by Republican-appointed judges and abortion bans are being enacted by Republican elected officials, and Joe Biden opposes these things. You can do with that information whatever you wish, but you denying it is dishonest.
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gowns · 1 year
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Why Kids Aren't Falling in Love With Reading - It's Not Just Screens
A shrinking number of kids are reading widely and voraciously for fun.
The ubiquity and allure of screens surely play a large part in this—most American children have smartphones by the age of 11—as does learning loss during the pandemic. But this isn’t the whole story. A survey just before the pandemic by the National Assessment of Educational Progress showed that the percentages of 9- and 13-year-olds who said they read daily for fun had dropped by double digits since 1984. I recently spoke with educators and librarians about this trend, and they gave many explanations, but one of the most compelling—and depressing—is rooted in how our education system teaches kids to relate to books.
What I remember most about reading in childhood was falling in love with characters and stories; I adored Judy Blume’s Margaret and Beverly Cleary’s Ralph S. Mouse. In New York, where I was in public elementary school in the early ’80s, we did have state assessments that tested reading level and comprehension, but the focus was on reading as many books as possible and engaging emotionally with them as a way to develop the requisite skills. Now the focus on reading analytically seems to be squashing that organic enjoyment. Critical reading is an important skill, especially for a generation bombarded with information, much of it unreliable or deceptive. But this hyperfocus on analysis comes at a steep price: The love of books and storytelling is being lost.
This disregard for story starts as early as elementary school. Take this requirement from the third-grade English-language-arts Common Core standard, used widely across the U.S.: “Determine the meaning of words and phrases as they are used in a text, distinguishing literal from nonliteral language.” There is a fun, easy way to introduce this concept: reading Peggy Parish’s classic, Amelia Bedelia, in which the eponymous maid follows commands such as “Draw the drapes when the sun comes in” by drawing a picture of the curtains. But here’s how one educator experienced in writing Common Core–aligned curricula proposes this be taught: First, teachers introduce the concepts of nonliteral and figurative language. Then, kids read a single paragraph from Amelia Bedelia and answer written questions.
For anyone who knows children, this is the opposite of engaging: The best way to present an abstract idea to kids is by hooking them on a story. “Nonliteral language” becomes a whole lot more interesting and comprehensible, especially to an 8-year-old, when they’ve gotten to laugh at Amelia’s antics first. The process of meeting a character and following them through a series of conflicts is the fun part of reading. Jumping into a paragraph in the middle of a book is about as appealing for most kids as cleaning their room.
But as several educators explained to me, the advent of accountability laws and policies, starting with No Child Left Behind in 2001, and accompanying high-stakes assessments based on standards, be they Common Core or similar state alternatives, has put enormous pressure on instructors to teach to these tests at the expense of best practices. Jennifer LaGarde, who has more than 20 years of experience as a public-school teacher and librarian, described how one such practice—the class read-aloud—invariably resulted in kids asking her for comparable titles. But read-alouds are now imperiled by the need to make sure that kids have mastered all the standards that await them in evaluation, an even more daunting task since the start of the pandemic. “There’s a whole generation of kids who associate reading with assessment now,” LaGarde said.
By middle school, not only is there even less time for activities such as class read-alouds, but instruction also continues to center heavily on passage analysis, said LaGarde, who taught that age group. A friend recently told me that her child’s middle-school teacher had introduced To Kill a Mockingbird to the class, explaining that they would read it over a number of months—and might not have time to finish it. “How can they not get to the end of To Kill a Mockingbird?” she wondered. I’m right there with her. You can’t teach kids to love reading if you don’t even prioritize making it to a book’s end. The reward comes from the emotional payoff of the story’s climax; kids miss out on this essential feeling if they don’t reach Atticus Finch’s powerful defense of Tom Robinson in the courtroom or never get to solve the mystery of Boo Radley.
... Young people should experience the intrinsic pleasure of taking a narrative journey, making an emotional connection with a character (including ones different from themselves), and wondering what will happen next—then finding out. This is the spell that reading casts. And, like with any magician’s trick, picking a story apart and learning how it’s done before you have experienced its wonder risks destroying the magic.
-- article by katherine marsh, the atlantic (12 foot link, no paywall)
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