#I have so many feels for their relationship alone that it hurts

[harrywavycurly]

What You Deserve Part 8: You Have Five

Masterlist: Here

CW: Mentions of toxic past relationship

Tag List: @littlered0000 @saramelaniemoon @ali-r3n @sapphire4082 @sweetmoonlove0214 @eddies-girl-22 @darknesseddiem @peaches-roses-sins @blckburd @comeonatmebruh @daisy-munson @cultish-corner @mrsjellymunson @aol19 @micheledawn1975 @2000babies @marshmallowgem @ang3lc @angelina16torres-blog @transparentenemypenguin @alilstressyandlotdepressy

A/N: You will get to see what Eddie said to William don’t worry, and I know some might think we moved on too quickly but this isn’t the last time the William situation is brought up in this story. Anywayyyy I hope y’all enjoy✨

“Good morning sweetheart did you-” “you…you stayed…with me?” “Oh uh well I didn’t want you to wake up in a room you didn’t recognize and be all alone so…yeah…but don’t worry I slept in the chair in the corner.” “You didn’t have to do that…you didn’t have to do any of it…I’m sorry.” “Please stop apologizing…what happened last night and what happened any other night with him isn’t your fault okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.” “I should’ve moved after I broke up with him…I know what he’s like and…and how he handles things and I…I just stayed where he could get to me…I’m such an idiot.” “You are many things sweetheart but an idiot isn’t one of them.” “You have to say that because you’re my…my-” “Eddie…I’m your Eddie.” “Yeah…you’re my Eddie and…you have to be nice to me.” “I don’t have to be nice to you…I’m nice to you because that’s how you deserve to be treated…I’m sorry that others haven’t been as kind to you but I’m here now so…you don’t have to worry about that anymore.” “Yeah…for now at least.” “Don’t do that…don’t talk about this as if it’s ending soon because it’s not…it’s only just begun.” “It’s only just begun and here I am…in your bedroom because you had to come save me from my asshole ex boyfriend who likes to…to get drunk and bang on my front door until he gets in so he can…tell me how mad he is and how…how horrible I am and…and if I’m lucky it’ll end with just yelling.” “You could’ve called me the day after I took you to work the first time and I would’ve come…you are worth saving and I’m so..so sorry you have ever been in a situation like that but I promise you won’t ever have to deal with anything like that again.” “You can’t make that promise Eddie…he’s just going to come back.” “Oh…trust me sweetheart he won’t be coming back.” “You..you said you wouldn’t hurt-” “I didn’t hurt him…I swear I didn’t even touch him.” “What did you say to him?” “That’s not important…would you like some breakfast? I could make you something.” “Uhm…sure…yeah that sounds good.” “Want me to bring it to you or would you like to eat in the kitchen with me?” “I’ll eat with you..” “Oh and by the way this isn’t my bedroom…this is a guest bedroom…I wasn’t sure how comfortable you’d feel waking up in my bed and I want you to be as comfortable as possible while you’re here.” “Oh..this is nice…for a guest bedroom.” “I’m glad you like it…I’ll let you get dressed and I’ll just be in the kitchen okay?” “Okay…thank you Eddie.” “You’re welcome sweetheart.” “So…you have five.” “You look lovely…I have five what? Oh how do pancakes sounds? That’s about all I’m good for when it comes to breakfast…besides a bowl of cereal.” “Bedrooms…pancakes are fine..I love pancakes.” “Well one of them is an office so…” “It was still made to use as a bedroom so…you have five.” “Did you count them on your way to the kitchen?” “No…when I came over the other night for dinner you gave me the tour and I just remembered you said you didn’t know how many bedrooms you had…” “well thank you for paying such good attention…coffee?” “Yes please one-” “I know how you like your coffee sweetheart.” “Oh..right.” “Go get comfortable on the couch while I make breakfast…the remote to the tv is on the coffee table and you can put it on whatever you want.” “Really?…first the buttons in the car and…now the remote?” “If it’s too much for you then that’s fine…just know it’s there if you feel like turning it on.” “You’re…so not real…” “I heard that.”

#what you deserve #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson au #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson series #sugar daddy!eddie #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #Eddie Munson #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things au #my little dungeon master baby

[ventisslut]

And said character being a highly suspicious, manipulative, centuries old god who participated in multiple wars and killed a dragon before along with being responsible for the erasure of an entire nation, with a shit ton of trauma and ptsd and has a substance abuse problem but SURE, of course he's a harmless little guy!

Just because he actively chooses to be a good person and doesn't hurt anyone doesn't mean he's incapable of hurting people or acting..off.

One of the main reasons why i believe Venti has yandere potential is that he deals with his traumas and problems in unhealthy manners and coping mechanisms, and it's very likely when people like this fall in love, their love and attachment style also tend to be unhealthy. (myself, for example.)

Venti has been literally wearing his dead friend's visage for centuries and actively attempting to honor him through the way he lives and acts by becoming a legendary bard. Nearly all of his actions are done out of love and a deep grief, and these alone show us how truly devoted and a little obsessed he is. (Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying he was in love with his friend i strictly believe it was a platonic relationship.)

I personally believe that when he falls in love and perhaps even gets a s/o, he gets attached in an unhealthy manner. Because he is so in love so desperately.

I don't think people realize how complex Venti is and how deep his emotions run. It's easy to fall for his carefree bard persona and find it weird when people recognize that he would have a few things deeply wrong with him.

Sure, he could try to laugh it off and not act on his feelings, but surely the dam will break. Surely, he will get tired of the sacrifices he has to make for his people and decide that for once, he's going to give in. And not care what the other feels or thinks, tired of being alone for centuries. He's painfully self-aware too, and that in itself causes him great guilt knowing what he is doing is wrong yet can't snap out of it.

Also...check this post out.

#just my opinion. #venti #genshin impact #yandere venti

[tristinian]

It’s always “what will you do when you’re old and you have no one to look after you” and never “there’s a societal problem where we expect people to have partners or children that can look after them”

#and like this affects people in so many ways #like people will stay in relationships with people they don’t love and have kids with them so they aren’t alone when they’re old #and I don’t feel informed enough to speak about how it screws over disabled people but it definitely does #and that’s not even mentioning how it hurts a-spec people #and anyone who doesn’t end up in a relationship for whatever reason #my answer to the question will always be that I have friends who I know I can rely on. but not everyone has that #anyways #fuck amatonormativity #arophobia #aromantic #actually aromantic

[mochiwrites]

blegh

#delete later #this is me just yelling into the void for a moment #but god I think I need to look into doing smth about my meds #:))) been on a steady mental health decline since at LEAST august #and it’s only gotten worse since the new year started cries #I’m trying to do homework and I can’t even focus on it #struggling so bad #but I don’t. trust anyone to actually talk and I’ve been pulling closer to myself #so I just bury myself in school and writing and distractions (there aren’t many) #I don’t know I think I’m tired #really tired of how things have been #how alone I feel #life has genuinely felt exhausting lately #all of my relationships feel so superficial with the exception of like. a small few #I want deeper connections but lately I feel like I’m just not built for friendship #it really feels like I’m just not supposed to have friends because I’m not a good one or I’m not a good person and I just Exist #in loneliness #and that hurts SO bad #can it please get better already #please #between online and irl I am at my limit T-T #ANYWAYS. back to being productive and doing stuff

[thedreadvampy]

hey uh no offence but when a famous person cheats on their spouse it always sits kind of weird with me when people treat it as if they were just caught doing sex crimes or something. like infidelity is often received as being as or more severe than sexual assault or harassment or domestic violence.

like don't get me wrong AT ALL. cheating on your partner is an extremely shitty and cruel thing to do in most situations. but it's also. a very interpersonal thing. like are you justified for despising someone for cheating ON YOU? yeah for sure. but this is not your marriage is not your partner and you're not the one hurt.

and maybe that's a lack of imagination on my part. but idk cheating feels so much more personal than most Cancelable Offences. bc like for real it's not your marriage, it's a complex issue, and it's not an act of direct violence. different people will cheat for different reasons and different people will respond to being cheated on differently.

(and also sometimes it's not even cheating bc can we look at the vitriol leveled at Jada Pinkett-Smith for 'infidelity' when she and her husband were in a consensual non-monogamy situation by all accounts?)

cheating on your partner is a shitty thing to do but it doesn't, imo, indicate that you're a Danger To Those Around You like for example sexual harassment does. you did a lot of harm to your partner and they will need support and friendship through that. but to people outside this relationship and who don't know you personally like. how is this their business???

#red said #IN FAIRNESS #i have very skewed morals on cheating because I've much more often seen accusations of cheating #do harm as part of a system of coercive control #and paranoia about cheating do harm as a cover for violence and control #than i have seen cheating itself do lasting harm #like i think once you've MORE THAN ONCE had the experience of being sexually assaulted and then attacked for cheating with the assaulter #it makes it hard to get a straight look at the issue #also tbf i haven't actually minded being cheated on when it's happened bc all the monogamous relationships I've been in #were ones i wanted out of but didn't feel allowed to leave #and my partner cheating have me permission to leave bc i knew they had someone else #man shout out to my ex who got SO MANY AND THREATENING when i dumped him bc he COULDN'T SURVIVE ALONE #and had a baby with his best friend's girlfriend SIX MONTHS LATER #anyway yeah i will freely admit that cheating is a lot less of a painful concept for me than for most people #and that doesn't mean other people are wrong for being more hurt by it because it is super super shitty #i just. i feel strongly about this but equally i know that the severity of cheating is a relative blind spot for me

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Oh hello 3am existential crisis. Haven't seen you around in a while...can't say I missed you.

#i don't understand how i can feel so alone and so isolated while also having a number of good friends #all of whom im a little in love with in different ways #how can you love so many people so much and still feel lonely? #is it because of all my friends only one is in brickspace and i rarely even get to see her? #i know my lack of physical contact is rather alarming (i get one or two hugs a month if I'm lucky.) #(and even casual non accidental touches are rare. i get maybe one of those a week.) #is that why i feel so alone and isolated? the lack of physical connection? #i wish i had a friend i could move in with. i wish loving people didn't hurt so much. #i wish i could believe the sentiment that all relationships are important and that platonic love isn't lesser than romantic just different #but ive yet to actually see that be true. i feel like ill never be someone's most important person. or even 6th most important. #im just so fucking tired #of everything. #is it me? am i off putting? do i do things unintentionally that keep people at a distance? what am i doing wrong? why can't I connect? #i KNOW im not broken for being autistic or ace or aro etc etc but fuck if I don't feel broken most of the time #fucking hell #definitely time for bed #i bet these feelings are being exacerbated by pmdd just like my fibro and my stomach and my sleep #doesn't make the feelings any less upsetting #fox thoughts #☉

[littlemisshaleybug]

i was lamenting about wanting a way to get high without the lasting effects or brain damage (I get weed hangovers) then i remembered ol' faithful!!!

✨dissociation!✨

#ive had a lot of feelings of shame and rejection and humiliation lately #feelings i cant really go to most of my peers for help #and i dont like getting high to solve my problems #i take half a 5 mg edible max dont worry #anyways #i just really feel like this era of being loved and cared about is coming to an end #and i wont have anyone around me soon #almost feel like i should be preparing to be alone again #and doesnt help that i feel like im behind in every possible way in life #dont get me started on the unhealthy relationship dynamics ive been holding onto #and my inability to juggle the things in my life i care about most #and the people who are supposed to care and understand are basically saying “yeah its not a big deal but it kinda is now so act like it” #ugh #i dont know #im sorry #im a failure in eery aspect of my life #and i have hurt so many people #i feel like a senior in highschool all over again

[shadowedvales-a]

i just think that this should be shared on the dash—

#ooc. #actually SCREAMING about these frames #i am finally getting my hands on all the st graphic novels and #this is the main one i wanted. for obvious reasons #(only one that heavily features jane) #but THIS #i have so many hcs about her relationship with the woods bc she spent christmas alone in them but #this is just feeding me #also the snowball hair??? #hc that she wears her hair like that a lot before it starts growing even more. because the snowball was very very important for her #jane just caring abt animals is so!!!! #(also her initially feeling obligated bc she had to eat a rabbit to survive. #and she always felt guilty about that.) #but then getting past that obligation to help the lil rabbit and just doing it because she knows it’s the right thing to do #and people really wanna hurt jane and use her like 😭 #just let her help all the rabbits and lil animals pls #this has single-handedly brought back all inspiration for this blog

[pears-trinkets]

.

#i just wanna have artist friends again to talk about art and hype each other up o(-( #share techniques and fandoms and have ocs together #i feel like i cant do art or feelings on my own anymore i need someone to feel it with me #but also depending on people like that is unfair so i stopped doing it and my heart was shattered into a million pieces #i had so many issues drawing the past 4 years and i only have one friend and they dont draw and are aq #are awkward with words but when i send them a photo of me trying to draw they literally didnt say anything and that was just :') #ive been struggling so much because of twitter and everyone i knew seeing my breakdown 4 years ago and knowing how many bridges i burned #and how difficult it is for me to draw at all and then share my art online and my friend told me its okay just share it with me #and when they dont say anything in me screams and feels so rejected i want to never talk to anyone ever again #im literally a shell of a human struggling with everything im a trauma response on two legs #and i wanna channel that into my two oc boys both being traumatized and leaning on each other but that also makes me feel so vulnerable #i feel like my existence is so pointless and just a burden on everyone who ever crossed paths with me #i imagine everyone i ever knew just talking badly about me how obnoxious i am and how selfish and ignorant and hurtful #and how happy they are about my downfall #im on mental sick leave and have finally a bit of time to catch my breath and im drawing again and feel better but i need to return to work #i cant do this #im so privileged and i still feel so bad and its so hard #i feel like every privilege i have will be followed by the most gruesome horrible thing because i dont deserve it and im unworthy of it #i dont think ill ever be able to build normal human relationships ever again ill shrivel up alone and die without anyone caring #while my mom is telling me im doing it on purpose and because i reject everyone #why is existing to painful and why am i doing worse worse doing it

[brokenyouth]

imagine someone constantly pushing you away and then blaming it on you when you finally decide you had enough and want to leave

#this happened to my buddy (me) #i know i wasn't a saint but how am i the only one to blame for things going wrong #at the end i really didn't feel like explaining myself any further maybe i should have but i was so tired of repeating myself #and it sucks bc i hate misunderstandings and what else but lol #every high of that relationship was followed by the lowest low #every time that person showed me they cared they would later do something that would make me feel like i was only a second choice for them #perhaps they didn't know they were hurting me with their actions but it's not like i didn't let them know many times before that they did #which is why i can't look back at the situation with anything but remorse and sadness #and istg every time we got closer it almost felt like they would do things that they knew would upset me so i would leave them alone #so how am i the villain for leaving isn't that wht they wanted or was i just supposed to stay there until they decided they wanted me again #that was the main thing and my last straw was that they didn't even remember my birthday #sorry for this very random very personal post lol #txt

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #I lie a lot. to other people. to myself. I don't really lie here (usually) because I don't have an image to maintain but like... #I don't always even recognize the lies in telling myself. I retell stories to make myself seem clever and smart #retell interactions to make people take my side in the matter. and it even works on me sometimes. #I've always wanted to be the hardboiled loner. independent and happily isolated from others. #and to an extent I am. it helps when you despise most people you meet. when you find them inane and simple. #but I play it off like I'm somehow cool and aloof when in reality I'm alone because I hurt so much around others. #I have such a hard time identifying with others. I genuinely feel estranged and alien. #it makes me immune to caring about their pain. which can be useful I guess. but that's still not great. #I think part of my desire to be- and questioning of being aroace is in part a desire for independence. #because I have been wildly romantic before. I was head over heals for my first boyfriend (still my best friend). #I wrote them poetry. left love notes around their house. cooked him food and went on dates. and I did enjoy it. felt natural and good. #I just... that happens so rarely. this is the first time in almost ten years that it's happened again. I have the capacity. I have the want. #but I just... I don't click with others. I don't get along with them. I interact with to know them and then I start to loathe them. #I've gotten too many followers here and I go through their blogs and I get an idea of who they are and there's at least five of you I hate. #and I'm getting awfully close to reaching the annoyance threshold because I don't mind you existing but I need it to happen somewhere else. #I don't get paid to exist in the same space as you so we don't even have a functional relationship. #anyway. I dislike being lonely but I constantly feel a visceral disconnect between myself and others and it aches every single day. #adhd meds and hrt are doing huge things to help me be happy with myself. which means I need people less. I can exist alone. #but it doesn't remove the need. doesn't fill the void. it remedies one problem but emphasizes another. #and I'm not used to wanting someone. I want things From people but I don't want Them. except now I do. I want this person. #and I'm so out of my depth because my play is usually to keep distance. engage politely. get the company I need and then retreat. #and I want more than that here. I was about to say “I'm afraid of fucking it up” but I'm not. that's a cliche that my mind auto filled. #I know I won't fuck it up because I understand her and I know my own abilities. but I'm afraid of what this means for me. #will this work loose something in my own mind? Will I become more painfully aware of my own needs? Will loneliness hurt more? #I know I'm moving again in a few years. I'm staying with my brother for the foreseeable future so I know this won't be long term. #so if I can figure this out in the next year or so then maybe I'll be more prepared the next time we settle somewhere. #idk. my mind has been in overdrive processing this for the last three weeks. I feel noticeably more tired because of it. #I'm just so preoccupied with trying to figure out this new part of me that's only shown up once before.

[angeltism]

I keep realizing I often like the idea of being in love more than actually . . . being in love . No idea what this means but Hey Yeah that's a realization . I guess .

#➳ the fool speaks #I'm already arospec and it's INCREDIBLY hard for me to fall in love apparently #or ok . even if it's nawt love like . i don't tend to feel romantic attraction much . I've only ever truly felt attracted to like . 3 beings #meanwhile so many i know have already had actual ''i want to date uu'' attraction towards like . 10 other beings already ??? #like i get tiny crushes but they fade in a few days #I've only ever actually wanted to date 3 beings as I said . but i constantly want to date . #despite how rarely i actually feel attraction to others enough to actually . well . do that . #ithink tbis is a very fun combo of me being hyperromantic but also greyaromantic . great . #a fun side effect of this is it takes me a lot to leave relationships when they aren't working fjdjfjdjhd #bc i dislike the idea of being single to a probably-too-close degree to how much i dislike being in a relationship that makes me unhappy #. . . . . that makes my chest hurt a little #i stayed w two beings who made me have sobbing fits practically every day just cuz i love the idea of being in a relationship too much ._. #welp . all part of the Aqua Existence™ #anwyays who wanna fake date me so i don't feel alone but we both gradually fall for eachother as time goes on #but are both too scared to tell eachother bc it was just supposed to be a silly fake thing haha . #but then we eventually confess and- #ok shutting up i just needed to lighten up this somehow and annoying romantic fantasies kinda work for that . kinda .