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#I have more asks like this lying about
puppyeared · 5 months
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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can-of-slorgs · 10 days
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The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)
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andoutofharm · 1 year
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we all started out as shiny dimes but we all got flipped too many times
we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change
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fromtheseventhhell · 2 months
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I'm sorry for coming to complain but I have something to say: I already know that in this fandom there are many opinions about what Arya and Sansa's relationship is going to be in the future and that we always complain that the Sansa stans talk about Arya as if she were going to become a servant of her sister, "one is the strength and the other intelligence", which are going to complete each other and all that shit (among all the other stupid things they have said) I agree with complaining about that because they are erasing attributes of Arya's character THAT SHE ALREADY HAS, and that we have always talk about Arya being a character apart from Sansa, someone who has her own story, her own purpose and that her whole character is definitely not reduced to just becoming her sister's employee after she always treated her badly in the their childhood.
Okay, I agree with all that. Those types of comments bother me too. But I feel that as a result of this very silly arguments have been born about why Arya and Sansa could never be friends because "they are very different, in personality, experiences and worldview" I'm sorry but I don't agree with that because, it is true that they are different, but let's not pretend that they don't have many things in common, and this goes beyond their personal characteristics or the fact that they share an entire family.
How different are their experiences? Yes, one is the red fortress and the other has to travel thousands of kilometers but in the end they both went through similar things. Both saw their father die, both were abused, both were beaten, both have been sold into marriage, both have been sexually abused, both have met cruel people and have had to pretend another identity to survive. The fact that it is in different contexts does not take away from the fact that they do have similar experiences, so that argument is very silly. And I don't say it with the intention of saying that Arya and Sansa are going to be the "best sister foreveh" I just hate that argument cause it dosen't make any sense, also throughout the asoiaf universe we have seen how completely different characters have had a great relationship come on.
Tyrion and Jaime are also wildly different and loved each other, Sam and Jon are also wildly different and no one is saying they could never be friends.
Also, it bothers me that they ignore the fact that Arya DOES care about Sansa, maybe Sansa doesn't care about Arya that much but Arya has always been fond of her sister, even when she was cruel to her.
Again, I don't come here with the intention of saying that they are going to be the best sister forevah and all that, I just hated that argument and also pls don't erase that from Arya's character either! that she has always been a good sister to Sansa, even if it was not reciprocated she was always loyal to her people, to her "pack"
Plus Arya and Sansa's relationship is definitely deeper than just "respect." Way more.
I feel like this is a good example of my earlier point that Arya stans need to over-explain points/theories to not have them taken maliciously (especially if they included Sansa). I still want to answer this in good faith though, because I don't believe you intended it to come off like that.
But I feel that as a result of this very silly arguments have been born about why Arya and Sansa could never be friends because "they are very different, in personality, experiences and worldview"
I will start by saying that the theories about Arya and Sansa not getting along aren't retaliatory to the fandom's perception of the "Stark Sisters 4ever". The idea of them not getting along is based on their conflict in AGOT, them being written as foils, George saying that they have issues to work out, and the fact that their characters haven't fundamentally changed since they've been separated (i.e. what's in the books). They've both been through a lot but trauma isn't a substitute for growth, and the issues they have will still exist. A big part of their conflict is Sansa's classism, which leads her to look down on Arya, and she has yet to grow out of that trait. If she reflects on this in TWOW then that's a different story. For now, we have to speculate with what we have. Not only that, but I could see Arya having less patience for her sister's behavior considering everything she's been through. There could be mutual hostility.
Tyrion and Jaime are also wildly different and loved each other, Sam and Jon are also wildly different and no one is saying they could never be friends.
As for this, the difference is that we're shown these characters having a positive relationship on-page. No one says Jon and Sam can't be friends because we see their friendship develop. Tyrion and Jaime eventually have conflict, but there's also a caring relationship built between them before that. Arya and Sansa have tender moments and fond memories, but their relationship is mainly antagonistic in the first book. If we had seen them getting along well before and, say, the trident incident had been the source of their conflict, that's an entirely different dynamic.
I just hated that argument and also pls don't erase that from Arya's character either! that she has always been a good sister to Sansa, even if it was not reciprocated she was always loyal to her people, to her "pack"
I don't think anyone with this prediction is ignoring Arya caring about her sister, it's more about the lack of growth on Sansa's part. While Arya tries to apologize and bridge the gap, even thinking of ways to please Sansa (I'll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she'll like that), we don't have any equivalent moments from Sansa. She has fond memories of them playing in the snow, thinks of naming a daughter Arya, and overall misses her family and I'm not downplaying that. It's just that it doesn't supersede the relationship we've seen play out between them (or the fact that she thinks of Arya as unsatisfactory even though she believes her to be dead). It shows that they love each other and could reconcile, but there's no guarantee. Arya can't maintain that relationship one-sided and, considering she's already tried to apologize, Sansa will have to put in some effort on her side.
Plus Arya and Sansa's relationship is definitely deeper than just "respect." Way more.
I don't think their relationship is built on just "respect", they do have sisterly/familial love but that isn't all-powerful. George has stated that he reworked the Starks to give them conflict because they were all getting along and "families aren't like that". I doubt that he'd go to that trouble just to conveniently get rid of that tension, especially considering the amount of sibling conflicts we see in this story. No house gets along perfectly and this is intentional! We aren't ever going to really know until we get TWOW, but I just dislike the framing of this theory as baseless or trivial.
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disgruntleddemon · 3 months
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people talk a lot about how Mapleshade shouldn't have tried to cross the river during a storm, but tbh Bluestar shouldn't have taken her kits out in a blizzard either
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akkivee · 6 months
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once again thinking about my ideal 3rd drb match up and how it’d stack up with plot beats and so far all i got is
🔴💥⚪️: true hypnosis mic opponents, maybe jakurai ends up on a side for further development to save yotsutsuji and that’s against ichiro’s current goal
🔵💥🟠: haven’t quite figured out why, but rei vs samatoki is the angle i’m thinking about
🟡💥🟣: all plot stakes division vs no stakes division lol idk really but i’m leaning towards a bonds angle or if hypmic wants to be real freaky, the side effects angle 🤔
#this is vee speaking#i still think a new format could happen but idk lol there’s so many unknowns rn#like what’s next specifically lmao#i personally feel it would be a waste not to have jakurai working to finalise development for this potential other true hypnosis mic lol#like they teased him joining chuuoku but then didn’t commit?????? huh??????#what about his struggle with causing more harm vs saving that one?????? like come on now??#so here’s me trying to put him back on that track lol#why not sasara vs samatoki you might ask lol and my answer is that’s the poster fight but the real fight is between rei and samatoki lol#samatoki was weirdly interested in rei watching bb vs dh and there’s a panel in showdown battle where samatoki looks……#he’s very hard to read actually while listening to ichiro#samatoki and rei are paralleling in the block party as individuals moved by ichiro’s ideals#so while i’m not sure if ichiro would be the reason to fight (🎋hahahaha🎋) i think there’s potential for strife#*sighs at bat* why doesn’t kr want to do anything with y’all lmao#if they went the side effects angle it’d be cool to have ramuda the guy whose clones die using the true hypnosis mic#vs kuukou who might be suffering from side effects (and against the guy that caused them tho he’s forgiven ramuda lol)#jyushi’s hypnosis ability to ‘recover’ is genuinely interesting because what is he recovering???? and why haven’t we seen it yet?????#maybe they’re lying in wait lol (delusional)#bonds angle is me grasping at straws lol but here’s how i can get my ideal match ups—
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bomnun · 3 months
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a lot of people clearly felt very empowered by her concepts and she should’ve realized she was a role model to many people, but aside from an interview where she said she wants to protect nęwjeäns she didn’t really talk about feminism or female unity or smth like that. anyway idc for this discussion there’s not much to be said from me besides how awful it must be to victims and people who saw her as an inspiration
but imo a lot of people projected values they wanted her to have onto her.
it’s the same as when ppl for years insisted hyüna and dаwn went public with their relationship to “change dating norms in the industry” or “challenge parasocial relationships” when in reality they just wanted to be in a public relationship and leave cube
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whack-patty · 1 year
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So guess who completely forgot that chocolate milk and strawberry milk is such a big internet thing and made a poll in the heat of the moment and now my inbox is full of T H E funniest tags but also now i can't find any of the non chocolate/strawberry milk debate stuff in the chocolate/strawberry milk flood i am drowning in
GOOD GOLLY
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backpackingspace · 1 month
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Okay but xie lian really do just being lying the whole series
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Me: I don't know what to do with Veronica's character in post s8 au, I don't want her to be Just Lance's sister and Kuron's friend with Pidge's storyline slapped on her, but also I'm not really sure about her character. Sure there's the whole lying to her family thing but I don't think that's enough?
Brain: ok so what if Veronica started out as trying to look for what was Lance upto but she ends up being so obsessed with finding the truth that not only she repeatedly puts herself in harms way but also the original goal falls on wayside.
This could be her way of dealing with trauma which is getting engrossed in the Mission and a problem to fix while suppressing her grief and refusing to actually acknowledge her problems and her own emotions a foil to Kuron's arc that is him being literally driven by emotions. She's angry at Lance for leaving without a word and angry at her family for their clinginess, however she keeps it to herself and just avoid them pretending everything is fine and normal
Also a foil to Lance who started as trying to figure out what was going on but as soon as he realized that 1) Allura and Kuron are still sorta alive 2) he can bring them back, he got obsessed with it consequences by damned.
Plus through her we can actually explore how quintessence actually effects and changes humans rather than become aware of the end result
Also there's something a character who is obsessed with truth but is also such a frequent liar
#There's a lot more but it involves changing a lot of elements of this au and explaining half assed elements and scenes in my head#post s8 au#post s8 posting#Just realizing she's having a jon sims arc. Good for her! Atleast she won't accidentally cause an apocalypse#It is still very draft and beta and I keep changing things in it as soon as I think of something cool#I kinda want Lance to be like at first seeing him living a 'normal' life but also there's something clearly Wrong#Veronica seems to be always busy and gone and never there. Shadows and crows being weird#and a voice asking him 'Did you make right choice?' And 'Remember' and 'wake up'#only to reveal that he has been living in a fake reality and a lot of his family is dead#yk that one scene in dunmeshi where Laois digs up and stares at Falin's skull. Lance digging up a grave and be like 'Mom?'#it's representational in his own head. And Lance created this fake reality as a form of denialism#Veronica at first being standoffish not being completely honest with Kuron#Lying to Kuron and her superiors about where she had been making her sus#Kuron not knowing that Lance was the one who brought him back until much later#only that *Someone*was reaching out to him in Shiro's mind and made his body#The family is dead and Lance was living in fake reality reveal happens just as Veronica starts being honest with Kuron#Few of the family members are killed due to retaliation from an extremist galra group#A hot topic in coalition meetings which is a way for connecting Hunk!!!! To the plot!!!!!#I love you my brain!!!#Sorry this is so fucking incoherent
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amoneki-ramblings · 3 months
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this is a pass to do a couple things:
finish the manga!!! u can do it so u can follow all the other blogs without getting blindsided by a spoiler
do the ship ask thingy for amoneki :]
Gahh I'm trying !! I'm so busy with school and life stuff so it's hard to squeeze in time to read but I'm trying! I'm getting through volumes very slowly but hey, I'll get there ! Just. Well. There's 16 volumes so. Okay it might take a bit orz
For now I'll just be in my little fandom limbo corner I suppose orz, as for the ask thingy:
when I started shipping it if I did: Several months ago, probably a few months short of a year? It's a bit complicated, Basically I decided to rewatch the anime (because my original exposure to tg was. the anime :') ) and vaguely remembered that I really liked Amon (honestly the encounter at Kanou's Lab/Cochlea was one of the scenes I remembered the most), and after rewatching and seeing Amon and Kaneki's interactions they piqued my interest again. Then I got into the manga and. Yeah that interest turned into insanity and now i'm here
my thoughts: Well I have a 119-slide 15K+-word google slideshow for starters. But I'm taking that to my grave so I guess I gotta condense that somehow. On one hand I feel like everything needs to be said about these two to the point that there's too much to talk about but also nothing needs to be said at the same time. They parallel each other in just about every way possible, it's impossible to ignore the ways that they foil each other. They also have had irreversible effects on the others' character. Kaneki finds resolve in Amon's words ('the world is wrong'), and turns to them at pivotal moments (when he leaves Anteiku, Kaneki's own mantra is also basically a derivative of Amon's, wishing to take out the "bad/wrong" things in the world, and he basically takes them to his grave, "The world is wrong", Amon's own words, being his opening to his final dialogue in the last chapter of the original series)
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Similarily Amon is just haunted by Kaneki. Like. In general. He thinks about him constantly (even under more mundane circumstances, in the novels he gets reminded of Kaneki just by staring out a window because it reminded him of the Aogiri raid. lmao). Kaneki is basically the catalyst to his character development, and Amon is constantly bothered by his presence/existence, and even comes to recognize how they always encounter each other at important moments. Amon is so haunted by This Guy (creature) it's both a little funny but also makes me very insane. He's basically being a failure of a ghoul investigator, and it's even more ironic, given his hatred of himself for being raised by and potentially caring about a ghoul (also he's catholic, something something religious guilt), yet he seems to have a lot of faith in Kaneki, even to a faulty degree (I'd daresay it's almost to the point where he puts Kaneki on a bit of a pedestal/idolizes him to an extent. I have a whole other ramble about Just that on the self-rb'ed half of this post. Like I'm sorry but Amon definitely fell hard for this guy I'll die on this hill and I'm going to poke fun at him endlessly for it, he could've done so much better, he starts off the manga hating ghouls with a passion and his mentor's disdain for ghouls runs ten times as deep but nope now he's chasing after the dangerous somewhat unhinged (/affectionate) half kakuja guy and it's not even to fight/kill him like okay, sure.) They have affected each other in irreversible ways. They reflect each other so much even if they don't know it. They just want to sit down and have a conversation. They didn't get to. And instead They Killed Each Other (okay not really but it was very close and they absolutely could, not that they want that) ((It's also partially Kaneki's fault for losing control of himself and he feels awful for that (sidenote but any scenario with Centineki and Amon make me lose my mind))). They're also married by first-encounter marriage bite, apparently. I think we should talk about that more that's kinda?? Donato approves btw
What makes me happy about them: Everything that makes me miserable about them makes me simultaneously happy about them because I am an Angst Guy but honestly just how much they clearly respect each other. While they're not allowed to understand each other because of their circumstances they still very much Want to. They recognize that they probably share a lot of views and could really have a meaningful conversation with each other, and it really shows, even if they're fighting. Amon again has a surprising amount of trust in Kaneki (not assuming he's fighting for Aogiri when he saw him during the ward 11 battle, having faith in Kaneki as a person even if he just saw him potentially killing his superior and being presented with the possibility that maybe he was just being fooled all along, when he's nearly dying at Kaneki's own hands but says he won't die because that would make Kaneki a murderer, having faith still that he hasn't turned into one). They recognize that they're equals (well technically they're not, obviously Kaneki is much stronger objectively, being a ghoul, and a kakuja at that), but they treat each other as equals and that's what really matters. I just think it's a very neat dynamic and their roundabout way of caring about each other despite their positions makes me happy :)
What makes me sad about them: I was gonna put images but then I quickly realized that I'd basically be pasting almost all of chapter 133-134 just uh. The fact that Kaneki really lost control of himself and the parallel with him biting Amon's shoulder escalates to him cutting off his entire fucking arm, the way that Amon's first thought in regards to that is simply that Kaneki is strong, how he doesn't reprimand him for it whatsoever (also Amon's blow pretty much takes out the entire area of where Kaneki's kakuhou should be, which is a detail I find Extremely Interesting and I think it should genuinely be talked about more). This fucking line that happened literally the panel before all of that despite their mutual wishes for the other to simply Not Die:
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Amoneki divorce. Absolutely life ruining :thumbsup:
(Also just. Again Amon Please. This guy bit your shoulder (probably gave Amon rabies honestly) and almost ate one of your colleagues; when he loses control of himself for the second time you just tell him to take a break, and now he's cut off your whole damn arm and you're Still not complaining and are instead praising him by calling him strong. I just. Yeah that's Not Normal. It's kind of impressive, really /derogatory)
Oh yeah also the fight at Kanou's lab also kills me and takes over my brain constantly but I wouldn't classify that as making me sad I would classify that as making me lose my mind, laugh hysterically and start climbing up and clawing at the walls (like Centineki, actually)
things done in fanfic that annoys me: Maybe I'm just extremely picky but I feel like people tend to fumble Amon's characterization a lot. It's kind of a fine line, and Amon has a lot of conflicting feelings as is, so I get it, but I'm especially bothered when Amon is written as way too harsh. When he's first introduced he has a strong hatred for ghouls, and it's not like that just goes away, but when he's written as especially harsh or even cruel towards Kaneki, especially if it's just because for him being a ghoul it feels like it kind of defeats the point, as Kaneki is supposed to be the reason why Amon starts changing his mind. When Amon sees him for the second time he doesn't think about fighting him at all, even that early on he decides he wants to talk instead, 'cause He's Different. I don't see this kind of characterization too often but I don't really vibe with it at all when I do (Also this is definitely just a me-thing but I wish there was more angst in the tag. Which is ironic considering these guys are surprisingly normal most of the time and have so much potential to be actually Happy but uh *vague hand gestures*, hurt-comfort would also be a decent compromise)
things I look for in fanfic: I love pre-:re fics that explore the complicated-ness of their dynamic. I'm really fond of fics where they kind of dance around each other in a sense, they won't just straight up completely directly interact because that's Still a bit dangerous but they see each other in passing, maybe Kaneki watches over Amon sometimes, etc. Also you probably saw this coming a mile away but yeah religious references mean instant bonus points from me. I could go into some (too much) detail but. uh. stares down at my feet look I'm normal I swear
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  Saying Amonhaise is definitely cheating but I'm not really invested in any other Amon ships. I'm not particularly against any I'm just neutral. As for Kaneki, like I mentioned in a previous post, I see potential with Etoken, and it's pretty hard to go wrong with Hidekane, though neither drive me to insanity like these two do at the moment
My happily ever after for them: Let them finally officiate their marriage ghsfdljbhf
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Well that's pretty easy huh. Kaneki small spoon he is a Little Guy just let him feel comfortable and secure y'know? Kaneki is probably someone who runs very cold and Amon is very warm so it works out :) If he's super tired he very carefully (and cautiously) wraps his kagune around Amon he will now be Trapped there until Kaneki wants to get out of bed (good luck)
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Well I would say that Kaneki loves cooking for Amon probably. He makes food at home and tries to make new sweets following recipe books. It's a bit of a mess because y'know, he's a ghoul, and at first Amon tries to hide that, unfortunately, his previous experience with cooking does Not, in fact, hide the fact that he cannot taste or smell human food, but eventually Kaneki is able to get a hang of it (with Amon's help) and it's very nice :) That's what I would say but. well. Amon is Also a Ghoul now so that doesn't really work :')
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journey-to-the-attic · 8 months
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Sorry if this in an insensitive question, but I'm curious is Astaroth completely unable to walk, or is he wheelchair-bound for pain reasons?
the first one! his legs just don't work because of something going kinda funky when he was born (i.e. the dark matter in the nursery layer didn't quite get the memo while he was forming - this is referred to as a 'matter hiccup')
they're not completely paralyzed - so he can, like, wiggle his toes, or angle his legs differently, but if he wanted to cross them he'd have to use his hands to position them properly. the movement of his tail is also a little restricted, though not to the extent that his legs are
he does have leg braces that are enchanted to, in theory, help him walk - there's a range of this sort of magical mobility device available in the devildom, since matter hiccups are actually relatively common! but astaroth's in particular is on the extreme end
the way they function isn't super intuitive, and they rely on the user at least having walked before - similar to ik with her prosthetic hand, you just have to use them as if you're just walking normally, but since astaroth's never been able to do so, he can't accurately conjure that mental instruction - so he lurches a lot, and is liable to lose balance
he does occasionally use the leg braces, but only when absolutely necessary, and he has to use a cane alongside them to stay on his feet. sticking to his chair's usually just more convenient (and comfortable) for him!
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softquietsteadylove · 8 months
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Hi! I know it's been a while, I've got this li'l request? If it's okay? So I remember this Odin scene in Eternals where Gil said Odin taught him some drink or whatever bartending skills Odin taught him😂
I was thinking of Odin and his fighters/people resting on Gil and Thena's place and Odin offering Gil to live in Asgard as a thanks for helping them in the battle of Tonsberg or whatever that is 'cuz I totally forgot😭. And then one of Odin's knights/fighters saw Thena having an episode and of course Gil was quick to calm Thena down and Odin thinks/saw the threat Thena brought on Gil's life so he reminded him of is offer again, Gil said he would ask Thena about it and that's when Odin said that he couldn't bring Thena with him in Asgard because of the threat she posed (uhh yes, we slander Odin). And Gil immediately asked Odin to leave their place, because Gil would never let anyone disrespect Thena!!!!!!!!
Thena heard the whole thing and when they were having dinner, she asked Gil why didn't he accepted because he always told her about Asgard and actually considered living there.
You decide what happens next, so yeah this is kinda angsty request jsjshs. Thank you so much, not just for this but for everything...
"I have not tasted this since the great battle of Jotunheim."
It would be more apt to call it the battle of Earth, the war between the Frost Giants and Asgardians - with the Eternals to assist - taking place here on the planet.
But the Allfather was visiting for the sake of old times, he said. Supposedly he was doing his due-diligence of checking on one of his many realms of protection by dropping in on Earth.
Thena quite thought they had the planet under control.
Odin had even brought his young ones to inspect the planet tethered to their very own Asgard. Two boys, although the Warrior Eternal had distinct memory of whispers about Odin's 'fiercest child'. Surely the child making snakes out of rope and the boy trailing at her brothers' ankles were not the holder of that title.
She could remember being in Asgard, after the battle. It was beautiful there, the people under Odin's rule were peaceful and happy. Everyone kept addressing her as Valkyrie, which was odd, but she was unfortunately quite used to being called things by mistake at that point in time.
In many ways it happened a whole lifetime ago, and yet was less than a thousand years ago as well. His young ones had yet to become great warriors, as the old god was hoping and pushing for ceaselessly.
"I've tweaked the recipe--just a little," Gilgamesh smiled and laughed with the old god, the two sitting across their humble table like drinking buddies instead of two of the galaxy's fiercest defenders.
"You have altered my recipe?!" Odin thundered, and yet dissolved into laughter in the same breath. The lines in his face bent and accommodated the patch over his eye. "I could have you tried and exiled for such a thing!"
The two laughed with force enough to crack the bifrost.
Too loudly for the Warrior Eternal. Although she did smile as she rose from her seat. Odin observed as she trailed her hand from one of Gilgamesh's shoulders to the other, leaving with his mug to refill it from the larger vessel of brew outside the house.
Gilgamesh watched with soft eyes.
Odin cleared his throat and leaned forward, "and yet in exile I seem to find you."
Usually one to say exactly what he thought and felt at all times, the Strongest Eternal was silent. He took another sip, "you think?"
The old god looked around him, regarding the homemade - very literally hand crafted - house surrounding him, a far cry from the glittering opulence of Asgard's finest. "Is it...?"
Odin knew of Mahd Wy'ry. He had once stated that he could sense for more behind the Warrior Eternal's eyes than even a being of their life expectancy should have.
Gilgamesh looked around the home, candles flickering and casting long shadows around them. "We came here to be alone, together."
The old god made a face he might make at one of his sons. "Is that truly all you have to say, Gilgamesh?"
He shrugged.
Odin set his drink down more firmly, the way a ruler did when demanding attention. He leaned back and tipped his chin up, his white hair catching on the adorned shoulders of gold he wore. "My offer still stands."
After the battle of Jotunheim, Odin had extended the offer to Gilgamesh to come and stay on Asgard. His skill and strength was beyond renown and he had claimed that they would be honoured to welcome a warrior as fine as he.
Gilgamesh had said thanks but no thanks--he was happy on Earth.
Gil looked at the old god now, not even shrugging so much as rolling his shoulders, "my answer's the same."
"Your mission is done," Odin declared needlessly. "If you are truly not to return to Olympia then tell me why you would not agree to joining the echelon of the galaxy's strongest?"
Gil swirled around the suds in the bottom of his cup. "I'd have to ask Thena what-"
"No."
The air sat heavy. Gil inhaled, also setting cup down hard. "No?"
Odin straightened in his chair. "The offer is for you alone, Gilgamesh. The Warrior Eternal-"
"Thena."
The old god paused. "What?"
"She has a name," Gil reiterated, pressing his palms to the table as he pushed his chair back. "You've called her a valiant warrior, you fought alongside her, called her an ally of Asgard. But I've never heard you address her by her name. It's only ever Warrior Eternal."
"That is what she is," Odin snarled in the face of Gilgamesh's argument.
"And who she is," Gilgamesh growled right back at him, "is Thena."
The air began to fold and bend around the two forces of power in the room. Odin leaned on his elbow, fist on the table, "she is not sound, Gilgamesh. I will not bring a danger into my walls."
"But you would sit across from her in our home?"
"She is a liability to you!" Odin stood, forcing his chair back and his mug to roll and shatter on the ground.
Gilgamesh was quiet and steady. "Keep your voice down."
"Are you ordering a god?"
"I'm asking an old friend," Gilgamesh pressed harder on the table, letting the wood moan under his touch. "To not disrespect the woman I love."
Odin's face did not change. He was not happy to be ordered nor asked to do anything, whether by an old ally and friend or an enemy. "She is unstable, and I would hate to see a great warrior such as yourself fall victim to something as fragile as the heart!"
"Maybe yours is fragile," Gilgamesh scoffed, moving the table out of his way as if kicking a pebble out of his path. It toppled over. "It's time for you to go."
"Think about this, Gilgamesh," Odin far from pleaded but perhaps seethed at him. "Do you truly wish to make an enemy of the Nine Realms?"
The Strongest Eternal met the old god eye to eye. "Anyone who has a problem with Thena isn't welcome at my table."
Odin gave his old ally one last look of disdain, letting his disgust in the developments of the night drip off of him like mud. "It is always a shame to see a great warrior succumb."
"Thena has always been a better warrior than me."
Thena turned her head away as Odin took off in a thunderstorm of an exit. She sighed, "you just fixed the roof."
Gil shrugged, also looking up at the sky as the old god and once-ally made quite a dramatic exit. He bumped his shoulder against hers, "I can fix it again."
Thena looked at him, her eyes searching for answers he didn't offer to their guest. "Why didn't you?"
He had no need to clarify what she meant. He shrugged again, leaning over to pick up the table and then reaching for the broom. "It was never an option."
Thena let him put himself between her and the pile of shattered ceramic on the floor. She padded back to her chair in her bare feet. "It could be."
He ignored her.
"Gilgamesh," she attempted, but he swept the ceramic under his foot and then, with a glow of gold, ground it into dust. Then he swept it up to toss out the window properly. "Gilgamesh!"
"I didn't consider it then and I'm certainly not now," he grumbled, pulling the shutters closed against the evening breeze.
Of course he hadn't. Even after Jotunheim, even if they weren't still bound to their mission, he would never have considered it. Gil loved earth too much. There was too much to rebuild, too much healing to do. Their family was here.
Now their family was scattered around the planet.
He tossed the broom back to its place and slumped down in his chair again. He looked at her, "without you?"
Thena tried not to let her lip tremble as she whispered, "you could."
Gilgamesh did not indulge her misery, waving his hand through the air with a light 'peh'. She tilted her head, but he looked at her, shaking his head, eyes brimming with emotion. "How could I ever be without you?"
Thena blinked away tears of her own. Her other half raised her hand off the table in front of them and kissed it so gently it was like a whisper. "Perhaps you would be better off."
"Nah," Gil dismissed much more lightly again. He chuckled, "you think I wanna be anywhere but our little paradise here?"
Gilgamesh, the mighty and brave, champion of Athens and hero of Jotunheim and the strongest Eternal, much preferred his modest and hand built little shack. He had no need for Asgardian palaces or promises of Valhalla.
"I have everything I could ever need right here in front of me."
Thena smiled, almost laughing under her breath. She hadn't spoken a word since Odin's arrival. She leaned her head onto Gil's shoulder, "perhaps you are right."
"I am."
"You are far too soft for Asgardian warfare."
Gilgamesh laughed softly, running his fingers through her hair, "yeah, maybe. You seem to love me just fine, though."
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anaalnathrakhs · 20 days
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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.
#i know there are compromises out there#and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered#and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine#but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough#i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me#throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks#when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding#it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer#''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone#the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me#and they've got their own shit to deal with#on that note#i was discussing stuff with my mom#and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents#and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting#or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting#maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace#maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted#maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc#and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me#how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way#how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells#broadcasting my misery#vent
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2hoothoots · 11 months
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poking my head in to say sorry about the radio silence! i'm not dead, just moved house & started a new job this month so there's been a lot going on. regularly scheduled posting to resume soon, in the meantime here's a blue eyes white dragon model kit i spent my long weekend building to put next to Money Kaiba in my display case
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