#I have made so many fake transcripts for this show

[sirfrogsworth]

Flamin' Not

Eva Longoria directed a movie about Flamin' Hot Cheetos. It is supposed to depict a real life Latino rags-to-riches story.

It's about a poor Mexican-American, Richard Montañez, who got a job as a janitor in a Frito-Lay factory and saved it from shutting down by inventing the "Flamin' Hot" line of products.

It was not terrible. Though it came very close to feeling like a Hallmark movie. But as I was watching it, the story felt very formulaic and a bit too... feel good. Like a bullshit fish story an uncle might tell you in order to seem cool. True stories usually aren't quite so tidy and trope-tastic.

Reality usually has some weirdness that is very difficult to capture when writing fiction. Like, in the movie about Reality Winner where they used a real life transcript, there were things a writer could never imagine. In one scene a random FBI dude opens the door and says, "Is this a room?"

So I was real suspicious there could be some Flamin' Hot nonsense in this movie. I figured they just took some dramatic license as many "based on a true story" movies do. I decided to look up the real life Richard and see how close his actual story was compared to the movie.

Turns out... it was a complete work of fiction.

He made it all up.

The only part that was true... he was a janitor at Frito-Lay and eventually got promoted to their Hispanic marketing department.

After he left the company he just started telling people he invented Flamin' Hot. And since the internet wasn't very robust yet, people were just like, "Yeah, okay. Neat."

He came up with an entire narrative with backstory and side characters and humorous anecdotes and a thrilling climax where his neighborhood drug dealers took samples to the street for some guerilla marketing to spread the word about spicy Cheetos--saving an entire factory and hundreds of jobs.

And in the less cynical 1990s, people just accepted it as the truth.

Companies would hire him to give motivational speeches. Eventually he wrote a book about his fake story. And he tours around the country telling his uplifting story of spice and puffed cornmeal.

And Frito-Lay just kinda... let him.

I think they liked his story more than the one where a bunch of food nerds created spicy Cheetos in a lab in the Midwest. He was giving them free marketing. He gave their Flamin' products street cred in Latin communities.

But when journalists finally got around to fact checking his story, Frito-Lay very casually told them "None of our records show that Richard Montañez was involved in any capacity in the Flamin’ Hot."

It seems their line was they would let him lie without consequence, but they weren't going to lie for him.

I have no idea what to think about this. I watched an entire movie about fucking Cheetos thinking it was a true story.

Part of me appreciates the hustle. He seems like an okay person. Stayed faithful to his wife for decades, speaks of her with love, and took good care of his kids. He inspires his community and is involved in philanthropy. And he made bank by tricking a bunch of white folks into hiring the Flamin' Hot dude to give speeches to motivate their employees.

Seems like a harmless enough grift. I don't know.

[twipsai]

grabby hands

I would like to see your alterna theories im invested

OKKK OK SO

you see all this? all this "snow"? thats ash. how do i know this is ash? oh well mY dEAR alternan citizen, we know that the rocket essensially exploded, making the liquid crystals rain down from the cave walls. this combine with the rising sea levels during the 12000 year period that alterna sat dormant is proably what caused alterna to flood.

now we know that the snow in alterna isnt real snow, being mentioned that its outright "fake snow" by Agent 2 in Cryogenic Hopetown. we also know that the snow wasnt always there, as shown by the below image

[image id: a photo taken directly from the Alterna logs. it depicts a group of humans standing inside of a small, dome-like room, with a sunny landscape projected on the walls. the image is very grainy and pixelated, as if taken by an out-dated camera. /end id.]

i dont see why Alternans wouldve made fake snow and completely covered their land in it, unless they didnt put it there. at least, not on purpose.

-

this brings me to another theory, which is that the test chambers were made to train Alternans who were going to board the rocket.

now, we dont know where the kettles came from (ill get back to that) but wouldnt it make sense? why else would there be a clean room, if not to prepare Alternans for what theyre going to have to do on the rocket, on the surface, in space? we see O.R.C.A. specifically state that their purpose is to test Alternan's physical and mental abilities

[image transcript: "My circuits are designed to measure your intellectual and physical prowess as demonstrated by your ability to complete missions throughout Alterna. In each mission, you must reach a goal mechanism or complete an objective. Extraordinary citizens will complete many missions and receive many Power Eggs! You can expect a substantial Power Egg payday in particular for this first mission... May your enthusiasm result in success, citizen!" /end image transcript]

but i KNOW what you're thinking. "Twip, if O.R.C.A. was testing Alternans for the rocket, then why are they designed around inkfish's abilities like squid surging, squid rolling, swimming in ink, and shooting with ink?"

i raise your question with a question: who was in a desperate enough situation that he kidnapped an entire army, and needed only the smartest employed under him to monitor ever corner of Alterna to make sure his planes went off without a hitch?

Grizz. its always Grizz.

this explains the fuzzy rival octolings, who appear different from how fuzzy inklings appear in the game

[image 1: a screenshot of a promotional render of a fuzzy rival octoling at a 3/4ths angle, with a hand on their hip. /end id.]

[image 1: a screenshot of a player character after they have touched the fuzzy ooze. the character is laying on their back, covered in fuzz with only their hands and feet sticking out. their eyes are wide. /end id.]

this shows the difference from those properly treated with the fuzzy ooze, vs those who merely touched it.

tl;dr of that entire section: the test chambers used to be a way to test Alternans that were going to board the ship, but were converted to test octolings who were to work under Grizz to help with the rocket plans

#alterna #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 spoilers #o.r.c.a. #fuzzy octoling

[boxfullaturtles]

"For someone who can see the future, he's very...stable." "The Herald? Oh, Titan, no, that creature is entirely mad." "Such disrespect! What makes you say such a thing!?" "If you had seen the way he laughs in the face of danger, you would not think me so wrong..."

didn't even try to make this one cover a bingo spot lol, just really wanted to get this out of my system

transcripts are under the cut!

[Choosing Hope AU Masterpost]

The Herald appeared to the Yokai in the winter of 19XX. He brought with him a message of peace and unity, and mystic powers the likes of which had not been seen since the ancient wars.

(An artistic rendering of the first time I witnessed The Herald)

He traveled the Hidden City, healing and giving aid to any who asked. He encouraged the Yokai to forge bonds of trust with the human race, to cast aside our fears and hatred and to make both races stronger through unity and friendship. Such speak was initially met with scorn and disgust.

It is not known when precisely The Herald approached the Council of Heads, it is only known that he did. Whatever was discussed there is not for us to know. All that is known for certain is that there was talk of the old prophecy, the one that said a great and terrible destruction would one day befall the Yokai. The Herald revealed that it was not just the Yokai who would suffer, but the human race as well. The entire earth would be scalded and left a barren wasteland, devoid of all life, rotten and desolate. If the yokai and the humans did not unite against this danger, then all of us would die and our history forgotten. Needless to say, The Herald got his wish and plans were made to begin connecting with the humans.

Many of us still have our doubts. The humans drove us underground out of fear and ignorance. They have shunned magic and mysticism and fight amongst themselves like feral beasts. They poison the Earth with their machines and destroy much of its natural beauty. They will end us all by depleting the planet’s resources. If anything is a threat to the Yokai than surely it is the humans themselves. Perhaps it would be better to take the initiative in such matters and wipe out the human race before they can ruin things further… Ah, but The Herald has called for an audience with me, so I will table my ideas for the moment. I doubt anything he says will convince me to change my mind when it comes to the human plague that has ruined our lives. Still, I am not so arrogant as to ignore such a powerful and wise being.

I will hear him out. If only to scoff in his face later. There have been Yokai like him before - fools who believe that humans and Yokai can live together in peace. The fools are either silenced by the Council...or the humans do the job. I do not know what tricks this Herald has played upon the Council, but they will not work on the great and powerful Baron Draxum. Humanity is a plague, the worst thing to happen to this planet. I will listen to The Herald. But I will not change my mind.

I WAS WRONG

By Titan, I was wrong. It has been...several hours since my visit with The Herald. I had to take some time to calm myself. The things that The Herald showed me were the stuff of nightmares. He used his mystic powers to present me with terrible visions of the future. I know this kind of magic, I know he could not have faked the things that I was witness to. I now understand why the Council listened to him so readily. I am willing to join his cause, and I have said as much to him. The Herald seemed delighted at my agreement. I asked him what our next steps were to be, and to my utter shock he said, “Those plans you were concocting, the ones for a group of powerful warriors that could wipe out the human race? Hold onto them. We will have need of them soon enough.”

He knew of my plans. Plans that I had told to no one, plans that had not even yet been written down. He truly must be a prophet. A Herald.

I have some thinking I must do. And some planning. I do not know what The Herald will ask of me, but I will do whatever it takes to stop that terrible future from happening.

#i am never sure if i'm being too subtle about The Herald or not... #rottmnt #choosing hope au #sage writes turtles

[samble-moved]

(Some of the) Many Lies of Kyubey

Madoka Magica as a whole doesn't always give full detail of a character's life or back story, but one of the more mysterious characters is the antagonist of the story, Kyubey. A supposedly "emotionless and wholly logical" alien who sees humans as disposable, Kyubey is shown time and time again to not only act irrationally and emotionally, contrary to what he and his species supposedly believe in above all else, but to openly lie and manipulate the main cast and other magical girls throughout the series.

Some Kyubey supporters claim he isn't "evil", just entirely unable to understand or feel emotion, thus being so logical that he is cold and uncaring. He thinks only in numbers, nothing else. But not only is he truly antagonistic, he does, in fact, repeatedly show he is perfectly capable of emotions and irrational behaviors. He just lies about them.

I) Kyubey's Emotions

Despite the claim that Kyubey (or Incubators as a species) think of emotion itself as a "mental disorder", or flat out don't experience them, Kyubey tends to show genuine emotion repeatedly. Obviously, some of this is faked for manipulation and blending in with human society/morals and to form connections, but not all of it.

For instance. This goes along with Kyubey being illogical as well, but Kyubey tells Madoka she has enough potential to become a God. But then, when she actually makes her wish (with becoming a goddess/concept as a side effect of said wish), Kyubey gasps and seems genuinely shocked and surprised, if not almost nervous or scared, about this. The transcript for it actually describes the emotion he's expressing as "dismay".

While "fear" can be argued to be not always an emotion (I guess — as you could argue it's more a part of a survival instinct or fight-or-flight in some cases), "dismay" and shock/surprise in this way are.

Kyubey also shows:

Fear (at the end of Rebellion, potentially during Madoka's wish)

Surprise (Madoka's wish, during Rebellion during the LoC secretary reveal parts/when they're breaking out of the labyrinth)

Confusion (Homura's existence as an "abnormality", Homura rewriting the universe, regarding human morals)

Loneliness, if you trust Puella Magi Wiki's article here as a source ("Strangely, Kyubey 'wanted' to talk to Juubey [fake/man-made Incubator]. He wanted to talk to another of his kind, even if it was man-made")

Worry/Anxiety (the whole "we must prevent the heat death of the universe" thing, when in reality that event is billions to trillions of years away — not urgent or soon)

II) Incubators are Irrational - Heat Death and Motivations

For a species and creature who claims to only act with pure, total logic, Incubators actually seem prone to irrationality and overreaction at times. This is shown, firstly, with their main motivation for contacting with girls in the first place — collecting energy to prevent/beat back the heat death of the universe.

Entropy and universe heat death are things that exist in real life. However, these things won't happen for...

Well, the amount of time the universe has before it potentially happens can't even be written out normally.

[Please note that I am a layman, not a scientist, so please don't attack me for not 100% grasping this information.]

On Wikipedia, the amount of time before hypothetical universe heat death is written as "around 1.7×10^106 years", and that's just with the "Big Chill/Big Freeze" hypothesis, the one I believe PMMM uses, and the one (as far as I can tell) is the most probable. The "Big Rip" theory suggests 22 billion years before false vacuum decay. The "Big Crunch" hypothesis guesses at 100 billion years, though this one seems less probable than the former ones.

This means that Kyubey, and Incubators as a whole, make contracts and have caused the horrific, unnecessary deaths of millions of little girls, all because they are worried about something that won't happen for a time so distant and far from now it can't even be properly written out in full.

How is that logical or rational? How is that not considered a major, major overreaction to a species that prioritizes intellect and lack of emotion?

I won't say wanting to survive/live is an emotion or illogical, as almost all creatures have survival instincts and will instinctively fight to live, regardless if they want to or if it's even possible. But being worried over hypothetical heat death in billions and trillions of years from now isn't rational.

If you want to argue that heat death is so far away in PMMM from all the energy Incubators have made from contracting, you're ignoring the canon where Kyubey implies they still don't have enough energy to combat it. That's why they're after Madoka, and still making contracts. Heat death of the universe is so far away that the number of years until it maybe happens can't even be written out, but the Incubators apparently don't think "trillions of years in the future, if not more" isn't distant enough to not be a constant, immediate concern. The fact that they're still contracting and seeking out magical girl candidates to get more energy despite this implies irrational fears, not something that makes sense, like if the heat death was happening a year/decade/century from the present. Billions and millions of years from happening, but Incubators treat it as a constant worry and concern, and believe killing children and ripping out their souls is a rational way to maybe push the date back even further.

III) Incubators are Irrational 2

Despite claiming to be emotionless and only relying on reason to act/think, and claiming to be hyper intelligent an from a very advanced society way beyond humanity's capabilities, Kyubey sure has shown an ability to...not always do those things. He actually has moments of being pretty blisteringly unintelligent.

In Episode 8, he flat out tells Madoka that she has enough magical girl potential to become a God, and easily surpass him in power/influence. He tells her that basically reversing a magical girl contract, something that Kyubey himself can't do, would be "just child's play" to her, and tells her she could theoretically wish to become an "all powerful God".

Except...how is telling Madoka this demonstrating reason?

Madoka doesn't like the magical girl system, which is created and continued by Incubators and magical girl contracts. Knowing this, Kyubey then openly tells Madoka that she can easily overpower him, his system, and become an actual Capital G God.

Telling someone who's against you exactly how they can defy you, alter everything your species has ever worked for, and even easily outmatch you with zero effort...isn't a great strategy.

You can argue that Kyubey didn't expect Madoka to actually do this, but he himself planted the idea in her mind — and, in my opinion, it's highly likely Madoka may have never made her final wish if Kyubey never made this suggestion. After all, we see no evidence she's made a wish like this before. He put it in her head that becoming a God is possible for her. Easy for her, potential wise, even. He said that outright defying his system with her potential is child's play to her.

It's the same thing as walking up to your worst enemy, handing them a gun, then helpfully telling them where exactly to shoot to kill. Then being shocked and surprised when they pull the trigger.

IV) Blatently Lying

AKA "Kyubey doesn't lie", but then openly and obviously lies.

Some people say Kyubey never lies, he just gives half truths. Kyubey himself claims lying is incomprehensible to his species, even. But, uh, that's not true. He lies about not understanding lying. He lies in canon. Repeatedly.

Sayaka asks Kyubey if Witches are different from magical girls. We know that magical girls, basically, are witches. Or, at least, witches yet-to-be. But Kyubey lies and doesn't answer yes to the question, to avoid telling the truth. His explanation is only technically true, but he doesn't actually answer truthfully with regards to "magical girls = witches?" question. He dodges it.

It's claimed he can't coerse girls to contract, but is shown canonically to basically back them into corners, let them fall into life-or-death situations to all but force a contract, and rush girls to contract.

Kyubey also claims he can't suggest wishes, but then suggests wishes to Madoka, as seen in Part III.

Kyubey blatently lies, not denying that bringing a magical girl back from being a witch is impossible, though he knows it is. He answers without actually giving solid answers here. I'm also pretty sure in the final script that the final line is actually "nobody's ever tried it before", and if that's correct, it's even worse — as I can't imagine that not a single magical girl, over millions of years of history, never tried or attempted it. And even if you want to claim him not knowing if it's possible isn't a lie, he's lying to Kyoko about not being able to advise her. He just doesn't want to, because Kyoko trying her plan means she dies, and he gets another obstacle out of the way. A logical, truthful bit of advice he could give here would be "I highly doubt it's possible to do". But he doesn't say this.

Kyubey, the whole of the anime, is constantly and consistently shown manipulating and lying to the girls. But then the next minute claims to not even understand the concept of deceitfulness.

V) Final Word

As Katy @silvermoon424 said, Kyubey is like a "facts over feelings" guy run amok. He claims to be an emotionless creature running solely on rationality and logic, utterly incapable of deceit, but then proves he's lying about all of that. He emotes, he is irrational, he manipulates and lies and all but disproves everything he and his species claim to be with both words and actions.

Sorry that this post is a bit disjointed and rambly. It is based off another similar essay I never wrote/finished, but is also a bit based on this post by Katy that I also suggest people read, as it reminded me of this idea I never wrote out.

#pmmm #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #madomagi #kyubey #essays #meta #// will finish alt text later

[thecaptdynamite]

So doing a OnlyJaunes story on Wattpad, here is the first chapter

Jaune Arc had just turned 18. He was a stalwart lad who had undergone a lot in his life.  One of the biggest hurdles was surviving Beacon Academy. You see, he had come here for righteous reasoning. But unfortunately, his means of entering were less than legal. In fact, it was illegal all around. He had spent his money on fake transcripts to get him there.

So the main problem stood as follows: he needed money and fast. Fortunately,  he was able to find a way to earn hun so extra lien so he could not have his grades suffer. The job, however well, let's just say he's glad Pyrrha has been helping him work out. 

Jaune: "Alright, I'll adjust the lighting a little bit here and here." Jaune is seen adjusting a studio light towards his bed, his scroll on a tripod and him wearing only tight boxer shorts. "Let's see. Maybe I can pose like this." In his hand, he has a button to help him take pictures, in which many of remnant has purchased.  You see, Jaune sells pictures and videos of himself on OnlyHunts, a website where beautiful people use their bodies to make money.  And since he started, he made back everything and more. "Alrighty, let's try here." He leans a bit, spreading his legs and adjusting his sack to look more plump in the underwear. A quick snap sound popped up, and he went to the camera to check it. He himself liked the angle, though he was cut he had a nicer body thanks to him working put more often, plus his Huntsman training has definitely helped a lot.  He did a few more poses, more showing off the Arc Cakes. After about 45 min, he started putting everything away after putting pants on.  He uploaded the photos he felt good about first and let time do its thing.

About an hour or so later, Jaune was sitting in Prof Port's class. As he took notes from his stories, his scroll went off on a vibrating frenzy. Luckily, it was in his pocket, and he was able to silence it. A quick smile grew as he had a feeling what it was. While Port turned to the board to write, Jaune pulled out his scroll to take a look, and as he expected, his likes went up on the post he did. Another thing he enjoyed was the compliments he received on his body. Something about helped him cope with his self-esteem issues he obtained due to his family.

AtlasMommy73: Another wonderful set Golden, God I'd love to see you.

IceTips: Please stop teasing and let us see your 2 hander ;).

SpartanStrength: Please just take me.

SpecialSnow:  Please come to Atlas so we can melt these caps. ;*

So on and so forth, the thrist was real. As more and more requests for Jaune came to light. Though he wasn't too worried about people finding out because, let's be honest, his friends were as dense as he was in the past.  He noticed Pyrrha staring into her scroll hard but paid no mind to it. He then continued his day like normal.

Throughout the day, Jaune felt eyes on hum, he's not sure why, but he felt he was being watched.  He turned around to an empty hallway. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued on his way. After a few more minutes, he felt the eyes on him again. Suddenly, he turned around and looked once more only to seek the same empty hallway.

Jaune: "Man, I think I need more sleep." He turned and walked towards the dorms.  As he did, a certain redhead was following him, not the one you're thinking if.

???: "Soooo fearless leader, you're the famous Golden Knight?" Jaune froze as he turned around and saw none other than Nora. "Don't worry, fearless leader, I only want one thing." Jaune, starting panicking, what could she want, money? Fame? Dic- "I wanna be your manager!"

Jaune: "Wait, what?" Jaune felt releived, but at the same time, he had an overwhelming amount of dread.

Nora: "You see, Jaune-Jaune, I know that you've been taking pictures. And though you've hidden your face, I can tell. Surprisingly, no one has put two and two together, but I can help edit your photos to prevent that. And even offer to maybe do BG shoots. For let's say 30 percent to see how you like it. Sound good?"

Jaune was at an impass. What did he have to really lose. He knew he could trust Nora, and he was making a good amount of money.

Jaune: "You know what, Nora, you got a deal!" He sticks his hand out for a handshake, but Nora grabs it and hugs him tight.

Nora: "Oh, I can't wait to show you what we can do!"

-if enough are interested I can post the link for you all for the rest.

#jaune x bleiss #weiss x jaune #jaune rwby #rwby fandom #jaunearc #bleiss schnee #weiss schnee

[sp-ud]

Transcript of those last few minutes of the lore dump because I need that shit written down. I've bracketed and bolded the ones that are the most lore important but wrote mostly everything.

-

Hetch: and we're back. Congratulations Ranboo, you made it to the end!

Ranboo: where... where am i? Hetch? You're alive? What's-

H: You completed your experiment!

R: What's going on?

[H: Of course I'm alive Ranboo, you see, I still have a role to play here. The Founder gave me a purpose many, many years ago. To repurpose this company and create these experiments... these, shows. In order to find who in your world is worthy of joining the cast and living on in the future shows forever!]

R: I don't wanna join, I don't want to go on the future shows please. I don't want to do... I don't want to do any of this, please just let me- you can just let me go right? I mean- what future shows-

H: I'm afraid that's not an option.

R: Wait so you've just been doing- you've just been behind all of this? What do you mean?

H: Oh yes. Every decision you made, every death you've caused, don't you see these consequences are your own actions?

R: No they- they weren't my actions! You controlled me! You controlled me!

H: I didn't do anything Ranboo, I just wrote a script. The real human emotions that come from breaking a reality. Don't you see that's where the real fun is?

R: I don't- please just let me go, I won't say anything, I'll leave and then it'll- it'll be okay. I'll just leave, I mean- it's just... so is it all just fake? is it not- what's, what's going on I mean

[H: Oh it's very very real. Look, in the past I would just make my own decision on whether or not a character was worthy of joining the cast-]

R: I don't want to join the cast. Please, I don't want to keep doing this.

[H: But, since this is the first time we actually have a live audience we might as well let them pick! What do you think audience? Should we let him live in these shows for an eternity? Or end this one with a BANG?]

R: (After a bit of screaming about being let go) So, so what happens?

[H: Well, if they decide to let you live, you'll be... rescripted, repurposed, and uh, recast. In my experiments. Forever.]

R: I don't... wanna do...

H: As for the latter, we get an entertaining ending, both to the show, and to you!

R: So wait... then I... so I die? I mean *mumbling* You can, you can change this right? You don't have to do this! I mean, someone- someone will FIND YOU! SOMEONE WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!

[H: Look Ranboo, you can die now, or you can die when you've outlived your usefulness. Which could be tomorrow... or a thousand years from now. It all depends on how long you can fulfill your role!]

R: I don't want to be... I don't want to be in this anymore, please.

H: Well, you won't have to be-

R: You can let me go, right?

H: -if they pick the Die option for you, I guess.

R: What? The die...

H: Yes, as I said, you either join the cast and live on in the show forever... orrrr we end the show with a bang. Do you remember Ranboo? All the decisions that got you here?

R: They weren't- they weren't mine! They weren't mine!

H: Oh but they were-

R: No they weren't, you did this!

H: -you see, we only pushed you a little in the right direction, every time the show 'broke' and you saw what's really happening behind the scenes- that was the real you Ranboo! Your decisions, your choices! That led other people-

R: Just let me go-

H: -to die for you! That's the Hero in you Ranboo!

R: I don't want to play anymore... I don't want to be... I don't want to keep doing this

H: You'll play as long as they wish you to play Ranboo.

R: Don't... I don't...

H: They can't get enough of you, and looking at the poll it seems they want to play with you forever.

R: Wha... what? No, please, just let me go! I don't care! I don't want to keep being responsible for this...

H: Time's almost up! About a minute left. Any last words you might want to say to the audience to swing them one direction or another?

R: LET ME DIE! PLEASE! JUST LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS!

H: Strong words from our Hero.

R: JUST LET ME DIE!!! PLEASE!

H: He'd rather quit, than keep going

R: I don't want to keep going...

H: keep entertaining you, the masses. What do we think about that, audience? Has he earned his rest? Or do we want to see him play again?

R: Just let me die... I can't live with this. I saw everything, I saw everything. Just let me-

H: And you'll see so much more.

R: No, no, please JUST LET ME DIE!

H: Ah, well it seems the audience has made their decision Ranboo, are you ready to hear it?

R: Please I... I don't know...

H: The audience has voted... for you... to die!

R: Wha.. wha--

#generation loss #genloss #genloss tse #the social experiments #ranboo #hetch genloss #spud originals #honestly after a bit i didnt really feel like there was any crazy lore hints but it felt wrong to not go all the way

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

i know this is long! so if you want to skip around (it’s marked) feel free too!! i just want to hear some of your thoughts on this video https://youtu.be/HGPM7306Ezw

Yep that was long! I didn't watch the video but I read the transcript 😜

I don't like a lot of the things he says (will get to that in a moment) but I do agree that Phase Four seems to be trying to do the same as the comics: bring a lot of new characters to the screen & the old ones are retconned and their personality and actions depend entirely on the director/writer who works on them...

That's probably the reason why the multiverse feels a little too much. Variants can be an interesting tool but everything is the same, the other universes vary on the most frivolous things ("red means go!") and the variants are one-dimensional, defined by one action and the OG characters don't ever truly learn anything from them.

The writers should take previous stories and characterizations into account because the MCU is a connected universe, or at the very least that's how it was sold to us. However that consistency is nowhere to be seen nowadays.

Also the last thing I agree with him on is regarding the Blip. It feels more as a stepping stone than a cataclysmic event that should affect every single character in these movies and series. It baffles me that they actively refuse to address it, they might say something in passing, but the characters we know from previous movies they're the same pre and post-Blip. That makes no sense.

Now, he has really, reeeeeeeeally bad takes on certain things and I'll talk about that after the cut because I can already feel it's gonna get long! Up ahead: Black Widow, WandaVision, TFATWS and Loki.

Black Widow

If I were to address every stupid thing he says about Black Widow I'd be here all day. Let me sum it up: this guy doesn't know the difference between "I didn't like it" vs "It was wrong".

The names he calls Yelena are... well, no need to repeat them here. I re-watched the prison scene again, she's not thinking of causing an avalanche, she's being shot at from that tower so she fires her weapon to kill that guy, she looks surprised when she realizes what that explosion had caused. Also, from what it's shown in the movie all the inmates and the guards made it safely back inside the prison so I don't know where he gets the idea that Yelena is a "psychopath".

WandaVision

OP complains that we never got to find out how Hayward got ahold of Vision's body. Hayward mentions the Accords several times throughout the series, like ep8 when he's trying to provoke Wanda by showing her what Sword is doing to Vision's body. Their exchange is:

Hayward: "We're dismantling the most sophisticated sentient weapon ever made" Wanda: "Vision is not a weapon, you can't do this" Hayward: "In fact, it is our legal and ethical obligation"

That's how they got him.

Then OP goes on to say stuff like "Wanda just wanted to play house with her dead boyfriend" or he mentions "her fake ass family, her dead ass husband, those two little shits that aren't even real". So... yeah, it doesn't surprise me he didn't understand the series.

As for the claims that Wanda is excused, forgiven, treated as a hero bla bla I'll just link to this.

TFATWS

Oh man, where do I start with this one?! OP is wrong on so many levels.

He claims Sam should have "related" to Walker instead of fighting him. Uh, that's what he and Buck did:

Bucky: "He didn't kill Lemar. Don't go down that road, believe me, it doesn't end well" Walker: "I'm not like you" Sam: "Listen, it was the heat of the battle, okay? If you explain what happened they might consider your record. We don't want anyone else to get hurt. You made a mistake"

And then Walker attacks. They were trying to empathize with him, he's the one who refused to listen. But sure, blame Sam, why not 🙄

In fact, OP's claims to defend Walker are mind-blowing to me. He says Lemar died "on Sam and Bucky's watch", that they should have been cooperative with Walker from the start, he calls Bucky a "petty child" who is mad because someone "replaced his best friend" and that they were laughing when the Doras were trying to "kill him". The fuck?

Now, the shit he says about the Doras... big yikes. He says Walker was just trying to "cooperate" with them but the Doras were hyper-aggressive and tried to kill him "just for unwelcome touching". Oh and this line "it's funny when the African warrior women are needlessly aggressive". Yikes.

But OP of course goes on a rant to defend Walker's murder of Nico. "Cut him some slack" he says. Um, how about no. But the best line? "Besides, Steve killed way more people than Walker did" 😂😂 Sure thing, sweetheart, it's the same thing.

Everything that happens is Sam and Bucky's fault, Walker has no responsibility whatsoever for anything and if he makes a mistake is due to "bad writing", not because he's bad. I swear the Walker stans are unbelievable.

An easier picture is painted about OP when you keep watching and he starts talking about the Flagshmashers and the GRC.

He says the GRC were just trying to "accommodate" half the population and this thing about opening borders willy-nilly and people moving to other nations and crossing borders isn't all so good, that would cause bad, bad trouble! Damn, why do I get the feeling I've heard this anti-immigration bullshit before...

But he doesn't end there, he says Karli and the Flagsmashers were defending the same thing as Thanos. Because... of course they were! For some reason... wait what was it... oh yeah, they want immigrants and poor people to be treated as everyone else and be given safe housing and food and healthcare. Yep, it's the same as what Thanos wanted. Thanos was a socialist and a commie, you heard it here first, folks!

Was I surprised that after this OP claims the CW movie directly dealt with the collateral damage caused by the "recklessness of superheroes"? No, I wasn't 😂😂 Oh Stark stans loving Walker, a tale as old as time.

Loki

This one is short. He claims Loki had always wanted to rule -- eek! wrong. He claims it would make sense for Loki to take over the TVA because he just wants power -- eek! wrong again. Then he says they turned Loki into a good guy and that's wrong since in the past he wanted to blow up a whole planet, "why would he care?". Yeah, OP is not good with nuance, that much is clear.

"Loki is a dude who tried his bit at being an intergalactic conqueror". Sure thing, sweetie.

Well, that was long. I can't say I liked watching (I didn't watch it, I read it) this video, OP is pretty bad and has awful takes. I'm looking forward to never hearing from them again 😅🤷‍♀️

#mcu salt #mcu critical #watch out this one is long

[warmglowofsurvival]

Yahoo! On the Road Q&A: Twenty One Pilots

by: lyndsey parker

Yahoo! On the Road tour's Seattle show on an epic bill with Gossip, Willy Moon, and Capital Cities. There, they gave 1000 percent to their excited Northwest fans, doing backflips, climbing up the balconies, leaping off speakers, rocking matching skeleton hoodies, doing a double drum solo, and even giving a fake encore. To say these guys have personality would be putting it pretty mildly.

Before Twenty One Pilots hit the stage running, Yahoo! Music caught up with Tyler and Josh in their Moore Theatre dressing room, and hopefully their wonderfully skewed personalities came shining through in the following transcript of their delightfully sarcastic interview. Someone really needs to give these guys their own "Monkees"-style sitcom. But until that gets greenlit, read on...

YAHOO! OTR: So tell me how you guys formed.

JOSH: What's cool is like we knew each other probably over a year before we started playing music together, and just hung out all the time. We wanted to play music together, and then things kind of fell into place for that to happen. It's good to be friends before you start to play in a band; that's my opinion.

YAHOO! OTR: I heard a rumor that you met on Craigslist. Was it the "Casual Encounters" section?

TYLER: It was actually a business encounter. We like to say we're not in a band, we're actually like businessmen that travel around…and show you our business.

JOSH: I forget how we came up with that. I think it's to impress girls. 'cause sometimes if you go up and say, "Yeah, I'm in a band," girls' parents are not impressed.

TYLER: Whenever you talk to the parents and you say, "I'm in a band," it's like, "Okay, yeah, what are you really going to do with your life?" So we decided to just tell girls' parents that we're businessmen. And they'd further ask questions about our business and we'd just quickly change the subject.

JOSH: Very quickly.

YAHOO! OTR: Things seemed to have moved very quickly for you guys…

JOSH: Actually you know what? It's basically been just two years.

TYLER: I have no idea what month it is. Was it? Dude, happy anniversary.

JOSH: Happy anniversary, man.

YAHOO! OTR: Aw. How are you guys going to celebrate your anniversary?

TYLER: Make out.

JOSH: We probably won't do that, just kidding.

YAHOO! OTR: Do you have any theories as to why things came together so quickly for Twenty One Pilots?

TYLER: There's a lot of bands out there that have a really long history of periods of time where they're in the van. I definitely want to hit on the fact that we did hit all those points, but we hit them in stride and we saw them come at us very quickly, so we've seen every step that we wanted to see, we made sure we didn't skip any of those steps.

YAHOO! OTR: Do you get flak for supposedly not "paying your dues" or something?

TYLER: No, no, there's just so many bands out there, there's so many bands we know, friends of ours, that are doing the sleeping-in-a-van-in-a-Wal-Mart-parking-lot thing. And we're fortunate enough to move forward. We're in the Sam's Club parking lot now.

JOSH: We're members.

TYLER: But as things start to move quickly for us, I think that it's a testament to our live show and how ready we are for any sort of opportunity that comes our way, because we've played every type of show that there is to play, and we're ready for that moment.

YAHOO! OTR: What's the weirdest type of gig you've played?

TYLER: Some older couple will hire us to play in their bedroom. Stuff like that.

YAHOO! OTR: Sounds fun.

TYLER: Also when we're playing locally, starting out, still no one really knows who to put us with. So we've done the whole hip-hop bill, we've done a bunch of heavy metal bills — which was a lot of fun, actually. In a way, I'm just now kind of realizing it as I step back, we've drawn from those different scenes as we came up. There's obviously an element of hip-hop in the music but we've taken and been inspired by the metal scene. I mean, you wouldn't hear it in our music, but you'll never see a harder-working band than a metal band, so it's just all those things we've held onto, and they've been inspiring to us.

JOSH: We'll play with anyone and we learned to adapt to whatever the environment, whether it's a different club or venue or, you know, different bands that we play with, and try to figure out what kind of people are coming out to see those bands and how we can come across to them as the band that we are, without really sacrificing anything about ourselves.

YAHOO! OTR: What would be your dream gig, in terms of opening for someone. [silence] Celine Dion?

JOSH: Probably.

TYLER: No, just her band.

JOSH: Yeah, it would be karaoke for everybody; everybody sings along with it, like Celine's words are on the screen, but playing along with her actual band.

TYLER: There are certain bands that I like, and it's hard for me, with Josh and I kind of being a new band; we almost have like an underdog mentality. It's hard for me not to want to destroy whoever plays after us. It's hard for us not to feel a tiny bit competitive.

JOSH: So why don't the others bands just be better?

TYLER: I'd just like to headline. That's probably my best answer.

[photo link]

#twenty one pilots #twentyonepilots #josh dun #joshua dun #tyler joseph #2013 #may #may 2013 #may '13 #may 26 #seattle #gossip #capital cities #willy moon #yahoo #yahoo! on the road #yahoo! on the road tour #interview #flickr

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

John Cuneo, Mar-a-Lago Sewage :: [Robert Scott Horton]

* * * * *

Trump's spiral staircase: down, down, down he goes, where he stops, nobody knows

LUCIAN K. TRUSCOTT IV

JUN 20, 2023

Who knew that the name of a two-bit spray-tanned Fox News hack would be destined to be mentioned alongside the David Frost interview of Richard Nixon as a classic of the genre, but it appears that is where yesterday’s Bret Baier “Special Report” interview with Donald Trump is headed.  Well known celebrity interviewer Frost asked Nixon whether the president could do something illegal, such as taking action against certain anti-war groups “if he decides it’s in the best interest of the country or something,” to which Nixon infamously responded, “Well, when the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.”  Forty-five million television viewers watched that night, a record for the largest audience for a political interview in history.

A much, much smaller audience was watching Fox last night when Trump claimed, for what must have been at least the thousandth time, “First of all, I won in 2020 by a lot, okay?  Let’s get that straight.”  Baier, holding a sheaf of paper that appeared to have lists not only of questions, but of facts, pushed back by reciting a long list of evidence to the contrary: “There were recounts in all the swing states.  There was not significant evidence of fraud,” to which Trump replied, “We were trying to get recounts, real recounts, not just numbers of votes cast.” 

Baier forged ahead: “There were lawsuits, more than 50 of them, in front of judges you appointed, that came up with no evidence, no evidence, and they looked at every potential case of voter fraud in six battleground states, and they found fewer than 475 cases.”  Trump, babbling over Baier the whole time: “You know why?  They weren’t looking at the right things.  They were counting ballots, not the authenticity of ballots.  The ballots were fake ballots.  This was a very rigged election.” 

But it was when Baier got into the meat of last week’s indictment of Trump for improperly removing and then mishandling top secret government documents, that the interview really went off the rails for Trump.  Baier asked him when he was subpoenaed by the Department of Justice for the documents he held at Mar a Lago, “Why not just hand them over then?” 

I wish you could hear Trump’s tone, which resembled nothing more or less than the voice of a little boy who had been caught with a rock in his hand standing on the lawn of a house with a broken window: “Because I had boxes! I wanted to go through the boxes, and get all my personal things out…(sputters)…I don’t want to hand that over to NARA (National Archives and Records Administration) yet, and I was very busy, as you have sort have seen.”  A B-roll of the indictment appears on the screen as Baier tirelessly presses on: “But according to the indictment, you then tell this aide to move [boxes] to other locations, after telling your lawyers to say that you had fully complied with the subpoena when you hadn’t.”  Trump looks frantic: “Before I send boxes over, I have to take all of my things out.  These boxes were interspersed with all sorts of things…uh…golf shirts, clothing, pants, shoes…there were many things…” 

Baier manages to intersperse a short question, “Iran war plans?” Here's Trump’s face as he hears the question: “Not that I know of!  Not that I know of!”

Baier then turns to the Iran war plan document referred to in the indictment in the transcript of a recording of an interview with ghost writers for Trump’s final chief of staff, Mark Meadows, made at Trump’s Bedminster golf club in 2021.  “The Iran attack plan. You remember that.  You were recorded.”  Baier continues, reading from his typed notes: “The indictment says, the recording and the testimony from people in the room say you showed it to people in the room there, that day.  You say on tape, that you can’t declassify it, so why have it?”

“There was no document,” Trump asserts. “That was a massive amount of papers and everything else talking about Iran and other things. And it may have been held up or may not, but that was not a document. I didn’t have a document per se. There was nothing to declassify. These were newspaper stories, magazine stories, and articles.”

“I’m just saying what the indictment says, there were people in the room, who testified…”

“These people are very dishonest people.  They’re thugs.  They’re thugs.  If you look at what they’ve done to other people…”

Tobias Barrington Wolff, the Jefferson Barnes Fordham Professor of Law at the University of Pennsylvania, Carey School of Law, posted on his Facebook page a primer in the law, describing exactly what happened in Trump’s interview with Baier.  Helpfully referring to Trump as “the grifter,” Wolff explained:  “The only way the grifter's own spoken words could be forcibly used against him at trial is if he chose to do exactly what he is now doing: talk obsessively about the charges against him on camera at rallies and in interviews, hoping that his weaponized narcissistic bluster would once again allow him to escape accountability. Your Fifth Amendment right protects you against being ‘compelled’ to incriminate yourself; it poses no barrier if you want to bull your way in front of a camera and insist on doing so. And one of the main exceptions to the hearsay rule is a statement made by the party himself, which is helpfully referred to as an ‘admission’. The category of admissions is a broad exception to the hearsay rule. It means that other witnesses, like his former lawyers or Walt Nauta, could testify at trial to the things the grifter said to them while executing the conspiracy to obstruct justice. And it means recordings of the grifter's own out-of-court statements can be used to establish the elements of his offenses. It is just that, in a normal criminal trial, the prosecution does not have video of the defendant's own incriminating statements. But the grifter is helpfully providing those video admissions with every campaign speech and every interview he gives to a right-wing news outlet.”

The Florida magistrate in the case against Trump issued an order earlier on the same day of Trump’s interview with Baier forbidding him from disclosing “the Discovery Materials or their contents directly or indirectly to any person or entity other than persons employed to assist in the defense, persons who are interviewed as potential witnesses, counsel for potential witnesses, and other persons to whom the Court may authorize disclosure.”  The magistrate went on to warn that disclosure of discovery material “may result in contempt of court or other civil or criminal sanctions.”

It is unknown at the time of this writing if any of Trump’s interview, particularly the part involving the Iran attack plans, amounted to disclosure of “discovery materials.”  It is known, however, that pretty much the entire interview, from beginning to end, may one day end up as evidence in trials of Donald Trump in the classified documents case as well as any potential case the Special Counsel files against him for attempting to overturn the results of the 2020 election. 

#Robert Scott Horton #John Cuneo #Mar-a-Lago #political cartoon #bathroom storage #Lucian K. Truscott lV #Lucian Truscott Newsletter #TFG #Bret Baier #the grifter

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x9 last action hero

the action movie episode liveblog

hard kill garbage earbuds sus person running person dead person!! Love the music btw talking out loud to himself

Aw I love 90s beckett's style Oooh allclads are a good brand! But bex is right, some pans just Work Better, you can't just live life with a full set of one, you need a couple mismatched ones thrown in there too. & it has pictures in it.

Cousin sofia! Nice Bex offended mr kuniak XD ofc he never said anything, that'd be impolite

Hohhhh her puppydog sleeves <3

raises crime scene tape uwu He's that guy! Esposito's face of "Really castle? HIM above any of the OTHER action heroes?" RC: Ex-Navy Seal Zen master Rico Cruz? With the catch phrase “Time to hit Cruz control”? JE: Yeah, I was never a fan. KR: Me either. What’s he done lately, anyway? JE: Yeah, right? RC: (seriously) Beat leukemia. KR+JE:

Lanie <3

LP: Cause of death is clearly strangulation by ligature. KB: A narrow ligature, from the looks of it. KR: Made by a thin wire tied to two wooden dowels? KB: KR: CSU found this in a dumpster. KB: A garrote? Who would use one of those? JE: Special forces will sometimes, when they want to kill quietly. RC: The bigger question is how they got the drop on Lance Delorca. KR: Uh, Lance played an action hero, Castle. Doesn’t mean he was one. RC: Au contraire, mon frère. Thank you transcript for actually saying that, screw you captions. I speak French, I want to see the words. If hearing bilingual people can understand the french, Ddeaf/hoh ppl should be able to have that same opportunity. RC: Lance was born in Spain where, before he became an actor, he was a member of the CNI, the Spanish Intelligence Agency. He was black ops. This man was a lethal weapon. Me then: Wow, that's so fake, he wouldn't become an american actor. Jon Huertas: *was in the military, poor guy, before becoming an actor & is literally Esposito in this very show* But then again, I have a friend from Israel/Sri Lanka (I think he grew up in israel but was originally from sri lanka, idk) & he was in the air force for thirteen years but I met him as a cheap cafe sandwich maker in the banquet cold kitchen. I mean he left that job a couple weeks ago for private security but other than that. My point is, being n the military does not denote your future, you can escape your past.

Love the music btw

*Knows it word for word* RC laughs. He notices KR+JE’S looks. RC: I was raised by a single mother. Hard Kill was how I got my brotime. KR: That explains so much. JE: Mmhmm.

JE: Yeah, the guy from The Indestructibles movies, where all the badass action heroes band together for one last mission. KR: Before they die of old age? JE: Hey. That’s a great film. And so was the sequel. Sequels are never good bro KR: (sarcastically) Yeah.

KR: The redhead, she’s an archaeologist? That strains credibility. (XD casually sexist) JE: Yeah, in a good way. KB: Hard at work investigating, I see. They all turn around quickly. (Love her)

Castle being sort of helpful while just watching movies *pushes esposito out of the way a bit* why garroute, not garawt? KB: I know what her name is. While you were having your B-movie festival, I tracked her down. She’s in New York. She’s shooting a film and she’s on her way in now. *Esposito's face lights up & Castle accidentally hits ryan*

love the music XD but bex, let Castle find girls pretty in the past tense, he had her poster on his wall when he was younger & def before he met you that is ok.

oh no Another indestructibles? before they all die of old age? Yay friends Wow guns Cheesy is not bad KB: The real miracle is how a girl like that’s hanging out with a bunch of guys old enough to be her grandfather. She's not wrong

RC: Hi, Mr. Harmon. Huge fan. Huge fan. (he holds out his hand for a shake) I – I’m – it’s an honor – honor to meet you. Brock Harmon: The honor is mine. I’ve passed many an hour in the john reading your books. (in the washroom but still, he reads em! Love it when two celebrities are fans of each other lol)

Sometimes they say first names, sometimes they say last names.

When castle said that I just thought "Jon huertas was drawing on his past as an airman to play a detective (who used to be a green beret)" but also I miss the days when Castle said smart stuff

Just so happens that everyone they need is in new york i love it

I know why they are "stonewalling" her heheh oh yeah she has "guys" in washington now!

Why Hard Kill of any of the ppl he's played?

KR: (reading the tagline) “Time to hit Cruz control.” Maybe that’s what I need, a catchphrase. (he lowers his voice) Time to meet hard justice. Time for prison time. (nOOO I HATE IT MY FACE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A CRINGE & A SMILE JHDSKJHSDFJ) XD on second thought: don't. clipping.

Oh yeah I remember this stuff. Man's a regular little robotics high school student!

Oh yeah sobriety. Loev the set behind them too lol

Ooh I noticed the commotion in the background this time! Man holding his face!

Classic action movie other wife XD

{But Castle couldn't tell that this man was NOT ex-cni? He got beckett's entire life story so why is this like this?} btw I want a fanfic where castle pulls the same trick he did on beckett to learn abt esposito & ryan's lives

espt layers upon layers isexy

Enrique Gomez: He needed a bodyguard. Somebody he could trust. And I know such people. But none of them were available on such short notice, so I couldn’t help him. I mean yeah no yeah that's how things go

At least he ASKED his friend I mean Tavi was a sheep herder too! But then he became an operative! & wanted to be a lawyer! & then became captain of the army! & then became the king of the entire nation!

Aww castle so depressed deeply personal XD Tori *pops out* *pops back in*

Earology XD but also acupuncturists might know a lot, I feel like that could be a plot point in a future episode & the shows the little animation XD like girl why not just say "I have an ID" & give the ID & if they ask say "I compared her ear shape to pictures of women connected to Lance DeLorca" & show the green pic of the scan but since you already compared it, you don't need to compare it to any more (which is where we got that pretty ear shape animation from)

not quoting, rather clipping, but the captions are incorrect so beware

I like how dark the obs room is in comparison to the inter room but the box is still so dim

set smth right! Words we've said before!

RC: My opinion is not affected by her skimpy outfit. I’m speaking as an objective investigator. Someone who has set their personal feelings aside. KB: Along with your poster? RC stops abruptly. RC: Who told you? It’s Ryan, wasn’t it? Apparently everyone knows ryan as the blabbermouth. "She's going away with her boyfriend!" "It only proves that Ryan has a big mouth" like girl this is a minor character trait for him at this point

Yay I'm hopefully getting my meds filled! I went to the hospital for self harm & suicidal motives on wednesday & I still haven't gotten my meds yet *goofy face emoji* but now I am yayay

why does ryan say "except for her story is still holding up" instead of "except that her story is still holding up" but ig it's better "except FOR the fact THAT her story.."

slaps ryan's mouth XD

her fridge is EMPTY

THANK YOU! Thank you Lanie for giving us all this information, all the reminders of the past, the explosion, the best apartment ever! Also I totally thought that they were going to kiss & then I forgot this isn't fanfiction. Btw we need more femslash in fandom. Straight women, we need you! Lol wine in ceramic mugs

Ooh Ryan's outfit! It was good yesterday but now it is also good today!

Hollywood style one at a time fight, castle's face, espt's face, castle's face, espt's nodthe MUSIC, man he did a great job choosing the right instruments for this!

Reminds me, I was in martial arts as a kid (& I wish I could go back but college is awful & nobody should have to work more than five hours a day /gen /revolution /ubi) & some friends of mine got into a fight at mcdonald's & they TOTALLY should have asked for the security footage!

btw, kicks are low not for their face

You get sides of pork, not sides of beef. Cattle are cut into quarters. Sorry lol I took a meat fabrication course in college

Standing in a very fenton oconnell type way there huh

JE: AD says his name is Ernest Howe. He’s playing ISIS militant number twelve. KR: Not for long. You know what time it is? It’s Ryan time. KR walks, JE follows him. JE: Please. Just stop. KR: Name’s Ryan and I hate lyin’. (he flashes his badge) JE: Oh my god KR: Ernest Howe! NYPD. not clipping too embarrassing KR: Oh, you’ve got trouble. Ryan trouble. JE hangs & shakes his head EH, softly & deeply: I don’t know what that means.

add to 1x7 when esposito & ryan were about to fck "moot" btw love espt's outfit. "put the hurt on all of you" sounds like irish, "there is hurt on me" or "there is hunger on me" is how irish sentences work

wait then why were you there beating on him in the alley? Or maybe they couldn't connect him to any of the assaulters, he just looked kind of like them

Ryan mr narco didn't notice? well ig it has been like 9 years since then...

love a good old middle aged dude

RC: I’ve learned that every good fiction contains a kernel of truth. Mr writer

BH: Say, the gang and I are going out for drinks later tonight. How’s you like to come with us? RC: RC: BH: Castle?

RC to KB: You are my boyhood dream.

XD that little run! He's a teen girl I love him!

There is NOT enough space for three broad shouldered adlult men to sit in a caar together

BH: Somebody takes out one of our own, we take him out. Valid ig? but castle is right: Oh, guys. Hey. Listen. If your plan is to go to the club and steal that slot car, no, that would – that would taint the evidence. Rolf Magnus: Actually we can compel the DA to consider it, since the car technically belonged to the victim, Lance. Wow actually smart lol

Where is Castle? Oh wait that's him. When did Castle change? Cool guys don't look at explosions

Love the heist comp XD. & they call him el jeffe XD I love the triframe but castle is conspicuous Lol always check, esp if you don't want to create a distraction Now get gone he's only on his way you can still get gone! Pull the fire alarm! Oh good for her lol

KB: You’re telling me that this was handed to you by a concerned citizen? RC: Uh … yes.

KB: And reward you for your []illegal behavior? (she shakes her head) I think not.

& then she livetells him anyway?

They be f*ckin' /j "omg this is not what I expected to be listening to"

yk what trey, that's valid. But also dude maybe ask for help yk what the DA might feel bad for you but also girl go to the authorities at that point maybe except that yk how cops are but at least theyd arrest boothe for conspiracy to commit murder

What did the blood bone marrow donor have to do with all of this?

he's your real dad & blood bone tests showed that?

ryan weird with the vest half open tbh

Ohhhh his son that's how this was involved!

WOAH THE JEWELRY WIRE IS THE SAME!?!? I don't think Lance was trying to ruin things, just trying to build a connection with a kid he's met a few times, his friend's kid, who just so hapens to be HIS kid.

Gates said good job to castle XD!

RC: I was just going to suggest the exact same thing. We’re starting to think alike now! As if they haven't been doing this since s1 XD KB: (laughing) That is horrifying. Okay, go cue up the movie, open up a bottle of wine. I’ll be home in a bit. I’ve just got a stop to make first. (& make popcorn!) RC: Well, if I’m thinking what you’re thinking and it’s to pick up a sexy archaeologist costume, don’t worry. (he drops his voice to a whisper) I’ve already got the whip. KB: *surprised pikachu*

but girl that's nice wood! & that is too good of a carving tbh

cinematic <3

Mkay so it's 17 & I started watching at 13.30 so that's 4.5 hours & 3 hours is already double my allotted time this was triple my alotted time which means it took me sextuple times the episode... then again a lot of it WAS spent trying to upload stuff to tumblr, at least 30m.

#castle 7x9 #the action movie episode #castle 7x9 spoilers #castle 7x9 quote

[pinkninja236]

#isw incorrect quote #fake transcript #in strange woods #isw #I have been given the ability to create fake ISW transcipts and choose to use that skill for evil #source: b99 #I have made so many fake transcripts for this show #sometimes you just want to give your favourite character a single line you know?

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

So a time ago the Swedish singer, and Eurovision winner Mans Zelmerlow did a naughty interview, with questions as: "Last time you watched porn?" "eh last night..". "Last time someone saw you naked?" "Last week! Was a date.", "Ever had groupsex?" "Yes I have, funny question." I think Dylan should do such an interview. 😈

Oh my GAHDDDD!!

Imagine him just casually sitting there nonchalantly answering those questions like... Okay... here's a fake transcript so we can all live out our Dylgeneracy together. Please keep in mind that there is no reality in which I think he would actually publically answer these questions with anything more than obvious jokes... but like... whatever 😈

[Interviewer]: "Dylan! Nice to see you."

[Dylan]: "Nice to see you too."

[Interviewer]: "So 'The Outfit' was incredible and I was so excited to see you in something that shows off a new side of your abilities."

[Dylan]: "Thanks! That's so nice!"

[Interviewer]: "Of course! I'm sure you've been asked this so many times, but what was it like working with the likes of Graham Moore and Mark Rylance?"

[Dylan]: "Oh, man. Incredible. Both of them are... ya know, so good at what they do. Gifted. You learn so much working with people that uh... that have that many skills in their back pocket."

[Interviewer]: "Oh I'm sure. Graham is a first time director but an Academy Award-winning writer. Do you think him being both the writer and director of this piece made it harder for him, or how was that from an actor's perspective?"

[Dylan]: "Good question. I mean... Graham is just one of those rare people that's just... ya know, gifted? He's just good. His instincts are incredible, and even though he... like, wrote the script... he wasn't afraid to let things organically evolve. At least a little bit. He wasn't precious about his baby, ya know? If that makes sense."

[Interviewer]: "Sure, yeah! It sounds like his first outing was a success then?"

[Dylan]: "Yeah. 100%. He's an incredible filmmaker."

[Interviewer]: "Alright. So, I'm sure you've been talking a whole lot about this movie, and even though I try to ask interesting questions, I'm sure all this gets a bit repetitive for you."

[Dylan]: "I mean... sure, yeah. It can be, but I don't mind."

[Interviewer]: "Well... Now, feel free to say no, but I was wondering if you might be game to answer some more... colourful questions? Unrelated to the film."

[Dylan]: "Uh... Hmm. How colourful are we talkin'?"

[Interviewer]: "Well, I suppose you can set your limits, but the first one I've got written down here is: 'when's the last time you watched porn?' So, that colourful."

[Dylan]: "Well! That's a fucking kaleidoscope, yep..."

[Interviewer]: "Yeah... We can go generic if you'd rather?"

[Dylan]: "Shit...I mean... Ya know what? I guess I'm game. Fuck it."

[Interviewer]: "Really? That's Awesome!"

[Dylan]: "The internet is gonna love this shit."

[Interviewer]: *laughs*

[Dylan]: *laughs*

[Interviewer]: "So... thoughts on that first question?"

[Dylan]: "Oh, the porn thing? I watched some good shit last night, man."

[Interviewer]: "Oh yeah?"

[Dylan]: "Yep. Gotta blow off steam during a press tour somehow." *winks*

[Interviewer]: "Fair point. Any particular preferences when it comes to that kind of thing."

[Dylan]: "Nah, man. I just scroll. Lots of shit catches my eye. Nothing super specific."

[Interviewer]: "So no inflatable fetish then?"

[Dylan]: "Hahaha! Holy shit. No, I wish I was that interesting though."

[Interviewer]: "Okay, porn aside, when's the last time you saw someone naked?"

[Dylan]: "Hmm... Alright, this is probably a whole lot less salacious than everyone's hoping for, but the last naked ass I saw was my buddy's like three days ago."

[Interviewer]: "Well, that's sound like it has salacious potential."

[Dylan]: "Haha! Wow, dude. I mean, he's a good lookin' man, don't get me wrong, but it was more of an accidental walk-in situation."

[Interviewer]: "Still sounding a tad salacious."

[Dylan]: *laughs* "We were at my place with some other friends, and I walked into the bathroom where he was changing into his swim trunks. Bare ass in my face."

[Interviewer]: "Nice ass?"

[Dylan]: "Oh yeah. Choice can."

[Interviewer]: *laughs* "Thanks for being such a good sport with this."

[Dylan]: "Oh, no worries. This is actually kinda fun. Nice change of pace."

[Interviewer]: "I wish I could steal more of your time, but I've only got enough left for one more question."

[Dylan]: "I know! These things always fly by, huh? Make it a good one then, I guess!"

[Interviewer]: "Alright. I'm goin' for it! Have you ever had group sex?"

[Dylan]: "Oh damn! Okay. I see you. Uh, you know... I think some things are better left to the imagination, so I hate to say it, but I'm gonna exercise the veto on that one."

[Interviewer]: "Haha! That's totally fair. I did throw the whole rainbow at you on that one."

[Dylan]: "Yeah ya did! But... ya know... me not answering that will probably get people talkin' even more."

[Interviewer]: "You think?"

[Dylan]: "My Twitter mentions will be a shit show." *chuckles*

[Interviewer]: *laughs* "Sorry about that."

[Dylan]: "Nah! Don't be. This was fun."

[Interviewer]: "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed!"

[Dylan]: "One of those interviews I won't forget, that's for sure."

[Interviewer]: "Well, again. I appreciate your time, so much. The film was excellent, and I can't wait to see what you get up to next."

[Dylan]: "Thanks! You'll be the first to know if it involves group sex." *wink*

[Interviewer]: *laughs*

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien imagine #dylan o'brien fanfiction #dylan o'brien concept #trashy writing #listen #I have so many things to do #and for whatever reason #I chose to do this for 45 minutes? #ANYWAY #enjoy? #whatever the fuck this is? #fake interview #THIS IS NOT A REAL TRANSCRIPT #for the love of god #fake interview drabble

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: DramioneFanfictionWriters (Part 4)

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Famous Shakespeare Lines, February 2021:

Short Life For A Daffodil by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione and Draco have a wild daughter who likes to pull up daffodils and frustrate her parents, but the duo wouldn't be without their children.

Friends Dont by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - "You don’t choose who you fall for!” “No, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be standing here now would I?” Hermione mourns the loss of a relationship.

The Malfoy Mistress by ThebeMoon - M, one-shot - Unable to bear the sight of Bellatrix carving into Hermione Granger at Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy whisks his hated former schoolmate to safety. He should have known better.

Rules of Engagement by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Lucius just had to be difficult about the idea of Draco and Hermione getting married. Will Draco and Hermione allow him to throw his weight around, or will they bring him to heel?

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Popular 90's TV Shows, March 2021:

The Death of Theo Nott by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “Hermione.” Her head whipped up to see the broken expression in Draco’s eyes. “He wouldn’t kill himself.”

The Night of the Rats by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - What happens when a prank war goes too far?

Perfect Harmony by Talonwillow (TalonWillow) - T, one-shot -Professor Slughorn's star Potions pupil Hermione was tired of being the ugly duckling, so she created a potion that would transform her into a beautiful swan. Everyone seemed to like the shiny new version of her... Well, except for herself and maybe one other. Would Draco Malfoy convince her that what everyone else was seeing was what he saw every day, and would Hermione finally be able to live in Perfect Harmony?

Dramione Go Star Trekking by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Riker has made a pass at Hermione and she doesn't quite know how to deal with it.

Bloody Colonials by Maira - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger has had a long week, and the last thing she wants to do is leave the comfort of her home. But when her best friend asks for her help in dealing with a possible cursed object, what can she do but help? Brownies, Potion-making robe etiquette, and a cursed Nigerian mask all add up to a typical night at Hogwarts. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

The Latest Teenage Drama by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Teenagers. Gotta love em. Teenage dramas? Not so much. Draco and Hermione navigate the perils of unwanted teenage behaviour - 90s family sitcom style.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Around the World, April 2021:

The Assignment by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco, Aurors, have been sent to Cape Town on a top secret assignment - to track down a former Death Eater.

Finding Them by KrysKrossZee - T, WIP - After not finding her parents in Austrailia, Hermione enlists Draco's help and the two make their way to Vancouver when they have a new lead.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Language of Flowers, May 2021:

Spilled Ink by Maira - M, one-shot - It's nearly Christmas, and things aren't great. Draco Malfoy is still on house arrest due to the Wizengamot being a bag of dicks. Hermione Granger is out of the country on a job, which means he won't see her for a few weeks. And to top it all off, Hermione has sent Draco a plant. A green, spiky plant, for no reason that he can fathom. Oh, and a spelled journal that he's now supposed to write in. Because nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan. Written for the DFW Deal or No Deal Challenge!

Forever by Art3misiA - M, one-shot - Though they may be gone, our memories of them remain forever.

The Little Things by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When Hermione buys Draco a cup of coffee and leaves it on his desk, it throws Draco through a loop and he wonders what he should get her in exchange.

The Climbing Vine by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - After receiving some startling news, Draco runs out of the house. He receives some advice from a surprising source.

Changing of the Seasons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - Hermione & Draco find a local park and two unlikely faces to greet them.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Draco's Birthday Soundtrack, June 2021:

Straight to the Heart by AdAsttra - T, one-shot - Draco's ready to tell Hermione how he feels, but Cupid has other ideas.

Stick Around by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione doesn't know why Draco is the only one who makes her feel safe, but she is glad that she is able to get some reprieve from her brain.

Wild and Wired by Maira - M, one-shot - Need your lovin' here beside me, Need it close enough to guide me, I've been hopin' you would find me, You're the biggest part of me. - Hermione was expecting a fun night out with her boyfriend and her friends. She was not expecting ice cubes, sick ponies, and a serenade beautiful enough to melt her heart. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

Let's Get Serious (Please, for the Love of Merlin!) by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Draco wants to get serious, but Hermione isn't so sure. Will their opposing views make or break them?

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Magical Monsters, July 2021:

There's A Zouwu In My Basement by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When a creature has broken into the Malfoy Manor dungeon, Draco has to call for help.

Miseria by crochetaway - T, one-shot - Hermione tames a Dementor.

Aegis by Maira - M, one-shot - Their world is in ruins, and their only protection against creatures wanting to kill them is about to fall. They make a plan to trek across the country to Hogwarts, where others have gathered to make a new home within the castle. There, they will be safe. One problem - before they go, there's a queen to kill. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal Challenge.

Fear & Desire by myladymay - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy wants to change his life. He returns to Hogwarts for Eighth Year and finds himself confronted with both his biggest fear and greatest desire, all wrapped up in a Gryffindor tie.

Innocent Monsters by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - Draco Malfoy thought he had reasonable expectations for his mandatory Eighth Year at Hogwarts, where he would be confined to the grounds as part of his probation. Isolation, hatred, and passing his NEWTs were really all he had in mind. What he wasn't anticipating: 1) Having a small firstie latch onto him like a bloody koala 2) Said firstie adopting an erkling as if they didn’t feed on children. To protect his little nuisance, he’ll have to seek help from uncomfortable places, including the Swottiest Witch of Her Age. Joy of all joys.

Transformed by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Draco and Charlie have a dragon to catch, and time is running out. Meanwhile, Hermione is missing, adding to Draco's woes.

DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos, August 2021:

Three's a crowd, four's trouble by AnnaRitaLi - M, WIP - p>My sister is right. My life did change that evening. I just don't think Rosalind meant for me to steal her boyfriend, or I don't think I stole him, Draco, not precisely. You cannot steal something that doesn't want to be whisked away. That's my experience, at least, and I've stolen quite a few things over the years. So I can say this with confidence. You can't lose something you never had. But you’ll have to read it in the book, dear. While the Crown doesn’t wish for me to speak out in public, I have been silent for too long. You see, There were three of us in this marriage. And people, the press, have assumed many things over the years about Draco and me. So this book, as you’ll see, it’s my attempt to set the record straight. Yes, there were three of us in this marriage, but there were also much more going on than that. -- This is the story the Crown never wanted to get out. In other words, I bring you the x-rated version of the book ‘Diana - her true story - in her own words’.’ It’s the Dramione as Charles & Diana AU you didn't know you needed.

The Marquess and the Kitchen Girl by Art3misiA - E, 8 chapters - Draco Malfoy is the son of the most powerful Duke in Wiltshire. One day, he will be the ruler of a large duchy. Hermione Granger lives happily with her parents - that is, until tragedy strikes. Two children will become friends, and gradually discover a forbidden love that seems as if it might one day defy the odds. Alas, this is a tale of doomed lovers.

In Her Arms by KrysKrossZee - M, one-shot - Draco's worked his way up through Voldemort's ranks but it would seem that all of his work has been for nothing when Dolohov captures a new prisoner.

The Happiness I Seek by Maira - M, one-shot - To those without a soulmate, the world is devoid of colour. They say that if you are lucky enough to meet your soulmate, everything changes. The world is brighter, food is richer, and you find a love you never knew you needed. Draco Malfoy has never been lucky. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.

darling! by itscometothis - M, one-shot - When Draco and Hermione are invited to help demonstrate a path forward for Wizarding Britain and its reconciliation, neither really feel like they can refuse - Hermione for moral reasons and Draco for practical ones (read: Azkaban sounds bad). But they have very different ideas on how to play up this fake relationship. Written for DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos - Kermit and Ms. Piggy. It's as ridiculous as you expect.

A Thousand Ships by floorcoaster - M, WIP - Draco Malfoy knows what he wants, and he's not afraid to reach out and take it.

Quiet My Demons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - “Unhappy, darling?” He murmured, his cigar placed on its resting dish, dashed out - a little puff of smoke rising into the air between them before disappearing. “Yes, completely.”

I Love Draco by crochetaway - G, one-shot - A few slice of life scenes with Hermione, Draco, and Scorpius ala I Love Lucy style!

DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Final Word, September 2021:

Crime & Punishment by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - TRIAL TRANSCRIPT OF DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY IS FORMALLY CHARGED WITH THE FOLLOWING: CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER AIDING AND ABETTING A MURDER USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: IMPERIUS (2 COUNTS) USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: CRUCIATUS (47 COUNTS) PARTICIPATING IN A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION -- I don’t regret hoping. I thought I might, at the beginning, do you remember? But I don’t. I regret nothing about you, my love. Eternally yours, Draco -- A story of hope, punishment, and the nature of justice told in trial transcripts, visits in an interrogation room, and letters.

Boats Against the Current by AlannaTCooper - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy is trying to escape his past by running as far away as he can. But the past - and his nightmares - keep pulling him backwards.

By His Side by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione is lonely but there's at least one person who can break through her loneliness.

Trying To Live by IzzieStellar - T, one-shot - After her husband dies, Hermione can’t seem to remember how to live and her friends vow to help her.

In the Dead of Night by AdAsttra - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco are some of the last people to leave Hogwarts under the veil of a cold, dark night.

This fest is ongoing.

#dramionefanfictionwriters #Fests/Exchanges/Challenges #dramione

[bfpnola]

This. Everything this user said.

Transcript of a TikTok by @/mistercapehart, dated July 10th, 2021:

"Alright, baby. We back to talk about the cost of liberation, because one of the ways that oppressive institutions assure their survival is by convincing us that without them, we'll lose everything. We'll lose all the progress we've made, all the financial and social security, all the work we've put into learning how to navigate these systems. When there's so much on the line, it makes sense why words like 'abolition' and 'revolution' can feel so unrealistic or even offensive to some people. When we've become so invested in the way things are, even when we notice the failures, we hesitate to do too much about it, but what we have to remember is that we cannot build the worlds we need if we're not willing to risk the worlds that we have.

"Otherwise, regardless of how many times these systems fail us, we will continue to step back into the cycles of asking for liberation, being given something completely different, calling it a step in the right direction, and then settling back into our largely unchanged lives. Look, these institutions will fake their death over and over again as long as it means we continue to rely on them.

"So family, we gotta stop asking. We have to demand the dismantling of any system that has proven its inability to provide for and protect all of us. And yeah, that'll cost us something. It might cost us money, our jobs, our friends, our platform, our egos, and maybe even our lives. And I don't say that to diminish the importance of protecting and providing for yourself and your family, but I say it to remind us that any safety and security offered by oppressive institutions comes with a price, and too often that price is the well-being, is the lives, of our most vulnerable people.

"And I'm not even gonna front. There are a lot of things I don't do and say publicly because of what it'll cost me or cost the people closest to me. But I know that one day, it's gonna cost me more to not say something. To not do something. And I just pray that on that day, I show up. You know, I pray that I look to my left and my right and I'm brave enough to move forward because my kin showed up with me."

#reaux speaks #tiktok #mistercapehart #july 10th 2021 #black lives matter #liberation #anti capitalism #socialism #communism #abolition #abolish the police #defund the police #revolution #anarchy #anarchy works #anarchism #signal boost #safety #security #risk taking #transcript #video #activism #activist #social injustice #no justice no peace #blm #stop asian hate #free palestine #black liberation

[moldygreenblue]

things from the asoue movie

(i personally think did better than netflix asoue, with “honorary mentions” that i can tolerate in ways.)

1. the movie soundtrack. thomas newman composes a lot of good scores, and everything in the asoue movie soundtrack is no exception (drive away is a real head banger). the fact it’s all on youtube, means one can jam to it whenever they go on youtube (i’m guilty of this). i love the netflix soundtrack a lot as well because shoot that is jim dooley’s music (i love his music ever since pushing daisies came out!). but netflix...where’s the official soundtrack? the fact jim dooley’s youtube channel has him uploading songs via request means he’s the only one to listen to the fans who want the show’s soundtrack is why the movie did better because of netflix’s poor treatment by not releasing it. it has to be jim dooley himself having to do it (and i appreciate him doing so because omg i can finally hear the tpp version ‘that’s not how the story goes’ without lemony talking over *tears up*)

2. the vfd group photo. everyone in the photo feels all organic and real. you got members sitting on the floor and steps. some members are standing. some members smiling happy to be there, or with neutral expressions because they don’t want to be there. some are in gestures of sorts (ike is flexing his arm like a goofball; that’s a nice touch to flesh out a dead minor character). it almost feels like the movie team decided ‘since we have the budget, we should get billy connolly, meryl streep, and others to take a photo and we’re telling them they can do whatever they want’. netflix’s vfd feels artificial and very, fake in ways. i don’t want to say it’s a bad photoshop, because group photos can have everyone stand in neat little row all smiles, but some heads feel...off. like, something feels really off with larry, ike, and uh, the guy i think is lemony who is clearly got the worst of it. is that a bad photoshop?

3. the littlest elf. the movie made that elf have a (minor) presence from beginning to end. there’s the fake out opening. the theme song from the fake out opening is heard three more times (twice in-verse, and it’s the final song in the credits) and it’s annoyingly catchy. olaf having a bobble head doll so shoot that means it’s popular franchise in the movie world. the movie made the littlest elf a thing, and netflix only makes it a word-of-mouth reference. what’s weirder for netflix is gustav despite having more of a character and kept his director status (unlike movie!gustav), never bring up this horrific masterpiece and the connection between the two (that i can recall). like, this is not cool, netflix!

4. movie!monty being able to carry snakes and having a personal snake.  the movie probably had the budget to do so unlike netflix, but monty in any continuity would carry a snake with him if possible, even for a short amount of time. movie!monty goes up a level by being a giddy herpetologist with his own personal pet snake he loves and adore (sidenote: movie!monty, that’s why petunia thinks you’re a tree you always carry her around. you spoil her rotten). netflix!monty with the winged lizard is not the same vibe, because it’s cgi. i think netflix!monty should have hold a real snake for at least a minute, as a treat.

5. two-thirds of the wide window section. it’s not that i think the netflix version is bad, for i do enjoy it. but there’s so many details in the movie version i enjoy: josephine and her poofy black mourning dress. klaus dissociating in the kitchen and josephine losing it. josephine casually telling the children ‘oh no he [ike] got eaten by leeches’ and the baudelaires are all (O_o) and sunny speaks for them all. the fact josephine is strong enough to pull the chain to show off the wide window all by herself and violet and klaus are still (O_o).  josephine screaming at the jane lynch cameo + “we got to get her out of the house.”. sunny accidentally dropping the apple basket. klaus tackling captain sham shamelessly. the baudelaires getting accuse of shoplifting. everything about hurricane herman, especially with josephine’s fears coming true. klaus assuming violet may kill them all with her plan to get off the platform.

the fact that the deleted/extended version of josephine’s death is so messed up (josephine realizing she can’t jump, josephine allowing herself to sit back on the boat, crying as she apologizes, the fog covering her and the boat), i truly think the wide window was the book the movie team attempted to do the series right in their own way, but meddling got involve.

and now, honorary mentions.

honorary mention 1: movie!powder face women ages. i don’t know what is up with their personalities (i’m including deleted scenes), but you know what? the movie team did cast two actresses who fit the age range of the sbg. had the movie continued in hypothetical sequels, i would have 100% believe their recruitment into vfd is connected to the loss of their sibling in a fire. netflix!powder face women are older than their movie counterparts (and maybe book counterparts, taking brett helquist’s illustrations of them as them being on the younger side), so when netflix decided to make ishmael the creator of vfd, they pretty much made a giant hole of a contradiction over their statement of losing a sibling to a fire (unless they aged very badly). netflix due to their major changes of vfd, made the movie look good in a weird way. honorary mention because movie series is dead in the water, and their characterization.

honorary mention 2: the baudelaire’s mansion. the exterior only shows up for one second in its glory before fernald stabs his hook into the photo, but given how the ruins are shown a lot, it’s easy to tell the mansion isn’t super huge, but still huge and noticeable. its location being in middle of the street holding a corner spot of sorts means looking from high above does give the illusion it’s in the ‘heart of a dirty and busy city’. the netflix mansion...it’s something. the netflix mansion looks like it’s borderline on a suburb neighborhood, and the mansion takes up six lots like this not what i thought in mind. it’s honorary mention because the exterior shows up for one second (and i’m not sure how to feel about the interior).

honorary mention 3: movie!lemony hiding his face 24/7. netflix!lemony showing his face is because he’s narrating the series from the future. whenever (past) netflix!lemony shows up, there’s is a sense (future) netflix!lemony is trying to avoid narrating himself because it screams, “oh hey that’s me! oh wait that’s me. i’m just...going to go.” and he leaves and only comes back after he’s certain past!lemony is gone. as much i as actually enjoy what netflix did, i do like the ‘i’m not going to show my face, suckers’ angle lemony has in the books. 

the movie carries this over. lemony’s face is always not in the shot because the movie is showing his body head down, obscure by shadows, or do show his face but partly. the whole ‘my ribbon just jam’ bit still has lemony still refusing to not show his face. in fact, it’s hard to find a shot where his face is ‘visible’ without editing the lighting and shadows and what not until the ending, when lemony gets his transcript out of the typewriter due to the lighting of the lamp:

it’s a honorary mention because excluding lemony having no shame on interrupting the fake out opening, no shame on telling the audience to jump out the airplane if they’re watching the movie there, the ‘ribbon just jammed’ moment (if only because movie!lemony blank out afterwards), and technically lemony being melancholic after looking out the spyglass (lemony would totally do that, but in a different context), movie!lemony doesn’t do a lot of things that make him be, well, lemony. that, and movie!lemony’s aesthetics still confuses me to this day.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #asoue movie #moldy watching movies #this is actually old tbh #like a few months old #but it's still relevant #i don't think netflix still released an official soundtrack

[pleasereadmeok]

This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.

NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG:  That is a review!

NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?

MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.

MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.

NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG:  That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.

NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG:  It does!

NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH:  He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH:  He’s a hero.

MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH:  Are we still talking about women?

MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG:  And Julianne is playing English.

NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –

NH:  He probably could have done better than us!

MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.

NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 

#matthew goode #nic hoult #a single man #a discovery of witches #adow #just in case ADOW fans are interested - it's a stretch I know.........