#I hate to say it but it’s time like this I wasn’t aroace as meeting people would be easier and actually finding someone I like enough

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)

Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing

I really like both ships, actually!

For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.

Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.

I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.

Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!

But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.

Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS

Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.

And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.

The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.

However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.

I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.

The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.

NOW FOR KABUMISU.

I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.

There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”

I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.

But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..

Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.

I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.

I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.

After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!

#long post #dungeon meshi #laios touden #kabru #mithrun #labru #kabumisu #dungeon meshi spoilers #photos

[cecilebutcher]

「♭𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐎𝐥𝐲𝗺𝐩𝐢𝐚♭」

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Unmatched, witty and queen of

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!!Likes do nothing, Reblog instead!!

Tw: death, adultery(Aka cheating)

Daria is part of my twst x Greek mythology oc series. I highly encourage you to check it out^^

⊱Bᴀsɪᴄs⊰

Name: Daria Olympia

Age:18

Date of birth: July 1

Zodiac sign: Cancer

Hight:200cm

Dorm: Rosantée (a beautiful dorm made by @midnightmah07 & @viilpstick )

Class: 3A

Place of birth:

Mother: —

Father: Aegaeon Olympia (48)

Step mother: Eileen Olympia (50)

Brother: Lex Olympia (19)

Brother: Seraphim Olympia(19)

Sister: Cinda Olympia (17)

Brother: Cyrus Olympia (17)

Brother: Nestor Olympia (16)

Sibling: Aison Olympia (16)

Sister: Xena Olympia (6)

Dominant hand: both

Based off: Athena (Greek mythology)

Sexuality: on the Aroace spectrum, pansexual.

⊱Aᴘᴘᴇᴀʀᴀɴᴄᴇ⊰

Daria is a 200cm teenager with olive skin with Cappuccino colored hair and grey eyes. Her hair is long thick and wavy that she usually has styled in a ponytail. She has tons of Beaty marks all over her body, the most noticeable ones being the ones on her face. She, surprisingly, has a lot of muscle on her body and tons of scars. She has a white tattoo on her neck that reaches down to her back.

⊱Vᴏɪᴄᴇ Cʟᴀɪᴍ⊰

Maki (jjk dub)

⊱Cʟᴜʙ⊰

Debate club

⊱Bᴇsᴛ Sᴜʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ⊰

History of magic. Conjuration

⊱Hᴏʙʙʏ⊰

Spear fighting. Martial arts. Hand to hand combat. Debating. Puzzles. Mind sports. Boxing. Reading.

⊱Bᴀᴄᴋsᴛᴏʀʏ⊰

Daria is one of 8 children to Aegaeon Olympia, a successful and extremely rich businessman who owns many companies. She’s the third eldest after her two twin brothers, Lex and Seraphim. Her mother died a few hours after giving birth to her. So she grew up with her father, brother and step mother, who wasn’t too found of her. While she shares the same father with all her siblings, she doesn’t share the same mother.

She’s closest to her younger brother, Nestor, as they both have a loving for travel and competition. But she’s also extremely close with her two sisters, Xena and Selena, as they are the only other girls in the house. As she grew up she also started getting closer to her step mother, while she used to hate her, blaming her for not being able to have both her parents, she now understands her and has a lot of respect for the lady for keeping to deal with her father.

⊱Sᴘᴇᴀᴄɪᴀʟ Mᴀɢɪᴄ⊰

-:Warrior of the mind:-

The ability to creat illusions that can be used for anything. Most of the time these illusions are used to map things out, like plans.

⊱Tʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs Oɴ Cʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs⊰

𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎: I’ve yet to meet Rosehearts, but I heard he can be a bit, how do I say, um, bossy. And that just won’t work with me. I don’t like being told what to do.

𝚃𝚛𝚎𝚢: I don’t know much about him in all honesty. So I have no opinion of him.

𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚊: Ugh, I’ve met him once in my life. Never. Again. Honestly he’s just, ugh. I can’t believe I can’t find the word to describe how annoying and just, I hate him to say the least.

𝚁𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚎: I have no opinion on him other than the fact that I feel sorry that he has to deal with Kingscholar.

𝙺𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚖: Ah, the Al-Asim heir. He’s quite nice, and is friends with my youngest sister. I like him in all honesty.

𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕: Viper is, well, interesting, to say the least. I like hearing his thoughts sometimes. He’s a bit uptight but I can rely on him if it ever came to it. And, I won’t lie, He’s quite beautiful and charming.

𝙰𝚣𝚞𝚕: I’ve never met Ashengrotto before, therefore I have no opinion on him. Next.

𝙹𝚊𝚍𝚎: I met him and his brother once a long, long, time ago. And that was too much for me in all honesty. I’ll simply stick with my idiotic siblings.

𝚅𝚒𝚕: Shoenheit is quite talented, I enjoy his movies quite a lot. He always has a way to make the characters come to life, and as my brother’s girlfriend noted, he’s quite pretty.

𝚁𝚘𝚘𝚔: Hunt is, a lot, to say the least. I personally have no interest in the man, but my younger sister seems to find his company nice.

𝙸𝚍𝚒𝚊: Ah, my idiotic Cousin. Honestly the whole situation he made in night Raven college a few months back is just embarrassing.

𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚞𝚜: His highness is someone who I highly respect. Nothing more to say to be honest.

𝙻𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊: Ah, I’ve met him once, he seems…… interesting to say the least. My younger brother seems to like him though.

𝙽𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚎: He’s a bit too naive for me. Sees the world as black and white, not my favorite person, or even in the top ten to be honest.

⊱Pᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ⊰

Positive traits: Smart, intelligent, clever, wise, Responsible, Reliable, Brave, strong, Confident, Independent, Loyal, Dedicated, Hard-working, Careful, Ambitious, Organized, Mature, Trustworthy, Talented, gifted, Stable, Punctual, Self-confident, Witty, Cooperative.

Negative traits: rude, power-hungry, Argumentative, Bossy, Possessive, Jealous, envious, Arrogant, Dangerous, Cold, Cunning, Petty, Self interested.

Neutral traits: Quiet, Calm, Honest, Sarcastic, Antisocial, Strict, Stubborn, Reserved, Serious.

⊱Fᴜɴ Fᴀᴄᴛs⊰

Is the smartest one of her siblings and was supposed to skin four years in school but decided against it.

While she’s not a very feminine girl, she still likes dressing up with her sisters.

She’s seen as the level headed one of the family.

She love sports, but adores strategy games.

She won countless competitions, some are chess, boxing, martial arts and even fencing.

She has an owl familiar that’s always near, maybe not in sight but it’s there.

Is cousins with Idia, and lowkey is done with his shit.

Is the designated babysitter(with Cyrus)

And I’m not talking about babysitting her youngest sister, Xena, I’m talking about babysitting her other siblings, even the ones older then her.

Has tons of scars around her body.

Had a white tattoo that starts from her neck and ends at her back.

Does not get along with Lex’s girlfriend, Lillian.

But they have mutual respect with each other and she’ll help her out if she really needed it.

Her closet if filled with classy clothes and suits.

She shares a room with Selena that’s just fillies with closets. It just has their clothes shoes and bags.

She doesn’t go shopping, Cyrus and Lillian just buy her clothes she likes.

↗continuing this point, if she does do her own shopping, Eileen and Selena are shopping with her online.

Captain of RSA’s debate club.

Was supposed to join the spell drive team but decided against it.

Is extremely close to one of her cousins, and thinks he’s the biggest pain in her ass, lovingly.

Her favorite nrc student is Jamil, and she sympathizes with his situation.

Speaking of Jamil, he has the biggest crush on her ever.

She know this, but decides to act like she doesn’t know since she doesn’t like him like that(maybe a bit, but not enough for a relationship)

comments are more than appreciated. but reblogs help the content reach more people so please reblog if you want to like<3 likes do nothing. Seriously, don’t like, reblog.

Go check out the dorm made by @midnightmah07 and @viilpstick it’s super cool. And special thanks to Jorge Rivera-Herrans for Epic the musical cause I could not have figured most shit out without the playlist blasting in my ear😭

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #❦cece #twst x Greek mythology

[meanautisticenbian]

I er uh revamped the main clone’s ref sheets lol

Extra info:

Anne:

- has a brother named Mark Read (cloned from Mary Read)

- raised by a single Irish immigrant father, they have a great relationship but he was kinda pissed when she shaved half her head

- anarchist, if that wasn’t clear already

- Doesn’t really have anything against communism he just doesn’t want Hat hanging out with Che

- The only person who isn’t terrified of Mary

- voiceclaim is vi from arcane

Mary:

- rich family

- kinda sweet but it really depends

- Almost completely shrouded in mystery

- voiceclaim is Raven Black

Hat:

- I’m gonna be honest with y’all, all these other OCs were made just for fun, Hat’s the only one with an actual character arc (if you can’t already tell)

- bc very little is known about her clone mom so she knows pretty much everything there is to know about her and gets FLABBERGASTED when other clones say they don’t know literally everything about their clone parents

- sorta bitter about other clones who’s clone parents are generally well known and have familiar faces, as the clone of a lesser known figure who was almost completely erased from history, but he ESPECIALLY beefs with Che Guevara’s clone (friend’s OC) until they have that whole enemies to lovers thing

- top of their class in history and literature, completely sucks at math and science

- unlike her clone mother, has GOD AWFUL social skills (whenever she meets someone new and feels like she might talk with them again she spends hours researching their clone parent just to infodump about them, most of the time she never meets them again so she just has this random pool of pointless knowledge floating around in her head)

- has at least 800 books about ancient Egypt including a signed copy of The Woman who would be King

- sometimes goes by Maatkare and is mostly called this as a baby/pet name

- has two moms, one is the clone of Nefertiti

- voiceclaim is Nimona

Willy:

- casual gamer and lowkey theater kid

- hates almost everyone

- very difficult for him to like someone but it’s possible

- unironically a great singer I promise like Corey Taylor is SHIVERING

- non oriented aroace

- once wrote an entire 10 page class essay on why Braveheart is the worst movie ever made (he got a c)

- Voiceclaim is Bojack Horseman

#clone high oc #clone high #anne bonny #william wallace #hatshepsut #mary shelley #I should Tag my characters in their posts more often #I hope some random history fan with no knowledge of clone high doesn’t find this

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello everyone and a fine El WooWoo Wednesday to you. Thank you @facewithoutheart​ for the tag. I woke up today and I chose violence and by violence I mean “doing something batshit like posting another WIP Wednesday Hospital”.

It’s been a while (7 months, apparently) since I last did one of those, so for the ones who are new, let me explain what a WIP Wednesday Hospital is real quick. The WIP Wednesday Hospital is inspired a post by @facewithoutheart​ called a WIP Wednesday Graveyard, where Christina put her abandoned WIPs to rest and I was obsessed with the idea, but I also realised that I wasn’t ready to put my WIPs to rest since I had the intention of finishing them. So instead of a graveyard, my WIPs reside in a (long-stay) hospital ward. All my WIPs are waiting for me to discharge them (aka finish them). Some WIPs have been in this long-stay hospital ward for years (shout out to aap noot mies for getting discharged after 7 years!) while others are still getting used to it.

Below the cut are 10 patients waiting for a visit. You can go say hi to all of them, or just skip to the ones that interest you. I bolded the fandoms/ships etc. for easier browsing.

So please mask up and leave your name at the guest list: @quizasvivamos @crissmastrees-and-candyklaines @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @wellbelesbian @tea-brigade @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @artsyunderstudy @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @martsonmars @aroace-genderfluid-sheep​ @ionlydrinkhotwater​ @1908jmd​ @special-bc-ur-part-of-it​ @larkral​

Patient no. 1 has gotten a lot of love lately. It’s my Snowbaz Carry On Prompt Fest text fic make a fire out of this flame. Simon’s sent a wrong message to Baz and things escalate from there on:

Baz🍆 (17:06) Will I ever meet your soulmate?

Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:06) what

Baz🍆 (17:07) The fish

Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07) OH

This is Simon’s phone, hence the 🍆 (it’ll get explained) (it’s not what you think). And I hate to say it, but I think I might have to wheel this one back to the hospital ward. I may have to prioritise finishing other fics, including patient no. 2.

Patient no. 2 has the working title comphet babey! and I hope it’s going to be my Klaine Advent fic for this year. I have a total of two (2) ideas for this fic. One is that Blaine and Quinn are in a comphet relationship and the other is that the entire fic takes place in Ljubljana, Slovenia. You’ve heard of “Saló is the place to be”, well, meet a contestant:

Kongresni trg is the place to be.

Kurt loves sitting in the grass - on a blanket, mind you, he’s not going to ruin his clothes - and breathing in the scent from the pizza place in the corner. He’s not attached to the square because of its historical value, but because he likes being here. It’s a nice green spot in the heart of the capital. It’s surrounded by gorgeous buildings and you have a stunning view of the Ljubljana Castle on top of the Castle Hill.

Kurt’s only been here for a few days, but he already loves this place as a spot to unwind. And again, the great pizza place is an added bonus.

Yes, yes, this is based on my own experiences, although unlike Kurt, I did park my ass on the grass.

Patient no. 3 is Just Some Guy. Remember him? Matt Christopher Davis? This is the full 8 years at Watford from an outsider’s POV. Sure, Simon is the Chosen One and Baz is his Main Antagonist, but Matt is just some guy trying to get an education and he’s a bit fed up about these two interrupting his studies. Matt needs a break, so in his fourth year, he exchanges with Micah and fucks off:

“And you would not believe what happened this time!” John says, as usual.

Every week, John gives me updates about life back at Watford. I was clearly mistaken about the year being uneventful. Well, it’s uneventful for me, but for some reasons John finds it important to keep me up to date with the Chosen One’s life.

It all started with the Humdrum sending magickal monkeys to disrupt the welcome picnic.

Oh, and yes, John is Check, Please!’s John Johnson. Why? Because I can.

Speaking of Check, Please!, patient no. 4 is a returning patient and it is a Zimbits fic, although you can also call it a Jack & Lardo friendship fic first and a Zimbits fic second. It’s about Instagram and I haven’t written for it since 2019, but hey, let’s give it some love:

Apparently, the hockey world is not done with Jack Zimmermann.

He’d been updating his Instagram for a month and he’d gathered a couple of followers when one day, a comment appeared.

‘r u jack zimmermann from hockey???‘

Jack had ignored it.

But the comments kept flooding. His follower count expanded greatly. Jack kept ignoring it.

Then, one day, Larissa barges into his room. 

Patient no. 5 is, well, you can say it is a Simon/Butter fic. No, not really. Remember I can’t believe it IS butter? I then planned a Simon Snow Butter Saga that I do want to finish one day but then I sort of let it go in favour for other fics. This is from Cheer up, butter cup!:

But yeah, I have mini butter cups now. I stash them in my cold and enlarged pocket (I persuaded Baz to also spell it bigger on the inside) .

Back in my flat I put them in my fridge. Honestly, Baz should also enlarge the inside of the fridge to make room for all my butter.

“At least my strawberry dessert syrup doesn’t take up that much space, love,” he says as he watches me shove the mini butter cups to the back.

“Baz, what do I do now with all this butter?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“You’re asking me? You’re the one who eats them like candy.”

Patient no. 6 is a Love, Victor ending rewrite. Yes, I am also creating a bunch of Love, Victor ending rewrites because I thought the final season sucked ass. BEWARE! SPOILERS FOR LOVE, VICTOR START AFTER THIS SENTENCE, SO SKIP TO THE NEXT PATIENT IT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED. I already posted All I needed for another day, which is an ending where Victor ends up single and rides the ferris wheel alone, and this one is called All I ever knew, only you. Benji doesn’t show up at the ferris wheel either. Instead, they meet again 3 years later. After all... do I dislike Venji? No, but I am also not incredibly happy with how they ended up together. Hence the rewrite:

A host announces a new band and Leah cheers loudly.

Abby raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of them,” Leah says and she turns to the others, “They’re a new group, all UGA freshmen. I spoke to the drummer once. They want to do covers, but also try their hand at original stuff.”

“Let them hear it,” Abby says and she raises a glass.

The others join in. They look at their joined glasses and they cheer and hoot even more.

Out of the corner of Victor’s eyes, he can see the band getting on stage and he drops his glass when he sees a familiar face.

“Victor, Jesus!” Felix yells out. It’s a good thing Victor’s glass was almost empty and it didn’t fall from a great height, so it didn’t break. It only spills a bit of beer on Victor’s shirt, but Victor couldn’t care less.

Benji is on stage.

Patient no. 7 is an Under the Whispering Door fic called Actual Freeman. It’s supposed to be short and sweet. Emphasis on short. Yet, I haven’t finished it, but I do have this:

Wallace Reid knows he’s up for another change of names. It was fun being Wallace Reid for two years, but it’s time to move on.

It’s time to become Wallace Freeman.

Hugo is the one who proposed. They were out riding the motorcycle. Hugo took them to their favourite spot and went down on one knee.

Patient no. 8 is another returning patient. It’s Hold on to that feeling, my Glee/CO crossover. I haven’t written for this in ages, but all the new information about Simon being able to sing... oh chef’s kiss! I can’t wait to incorporate that. But first, this:

“Uhm, Simon, Baz… Blaine?”

It’s Kurt’s voice. Blaine opens the door and Kurt looks very confused and surprised when he sees the others.

“You’re- you’re back,” he says quietly. Blaine also guides Kurt inside so that he can close the door. It’s true that no one else can see this room, but it still feels like they have more privacy now.

“Look, I messed up!” Simon throws his hands in the air.

“Again,” Baz reminds him.

“I was trying out several spells that could help us on our quest to get home. One of them was an Everything in its time.”

“Which, as Snow unfortunately forgot with his pea-sized brain, creates time jumps,” Baz says angrily.

Patient no. 9 is, uh, an unexpected patient and honestly this one is still in the waiting room. I might not admit it to the hospital in the first place. I’m still wondering if I actually want to do something with this, but, uh.... Rosemary Snow my beloved:

“Papà, babbo, sono a casa!” I yell out and I close the door behind me, “Anche Ire è qui!”

I hear some commotion coming from the living room. Ire raises an eyebrow and I shrug.

Eventually, a small voice comes from the other side of the door.

“... R-Rosemary?” my papà sounds uncertain, “Is that you?”

“Si, sono io,” I say with a frown on my face. Why did he reply in English? My papà and I speak a lot of Italian when it’s the two of us, and especially if one of my friends is coming over.

I open the door and my jaw drops when I realise what I am seeing.

My papà is standing in the living room, looking like a lost dog, and he has wings.

Basically, this is an AU of Paradiso? Learn more about it here. Not sure if the Italian is correct. Sorry Marta for cheating on you with Google translate, but like I said, I’m not sure if this is going to be a thing.

And okay, let’s end this with a bang. Patient no. 10 is [REDACTED]. As in, the actual title is redacted. Everything about this fic is a secret, since it is written for the Klaine Secret Santa and any snippet might easily give away what prompt I am writing and who I am writing it for. Yet, I want to share it, since I actually started writing it today and I have clear plans for it now. Here’s the start:

“I am here because I want to be challenged.”

Everyone claps politely and [REDACTED] sits down with a satisfied grin on their face. They’re basking in the praise and [REDACTED] envies their confidence. It’s almost their time to introduce themself and they are incredibly nervous.

This is their first [REDACTED].

This is a [REDACTED].

This is [REDACTED].

Yet, they can’t help but be anxious.

What if they [REDACTED]? After all, if you had told them a year ago that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], they wouldn’t have believed you.

[REDACTED], of all people, as [REDACTED]?

I’m sorry. I think I am funny. (I also changed all the gendered pronouns to they/them for this snippet. Gotta commit to the bit ✊😔.)

Thank you for reading. As always, feel free to leave flowers and to make your own WIP Wednesday Hospital. It’s always a lot of fun. Feel free to visit the previous three hospital posts here, here and here, although you will see that some patients have been discharged 🥳.

#i am insane for this #this took an hour #no one asked for this #yet here i am and i loved doing it so #wip wednesday #tagged in #also cant believe it's been 7 months since the last one #i made that bespoke banner and all and then never did one again #but yeah this is also what i am talking about when i talk about the hospital in posts #as in 'i might put it back in the hospital'

[isonoe-kallichore-kirby]

School sucks // TW: SH, SA, bullying

I know a lot of people have said this, but I want to share my story and how school messed up my mental health. In 1st grade, there was this art teacher that we will call Mrs. Perfectionism, and you can see what she was all about by her name. She was a perfectionist who would make fun of us for making little mistakes (this was in art class, by the way). She was also the substitute teacher in the 3rd grade. In 2nd grade, the teachers hated me for being "behind" in class when they never helped me when I asked for it, and they made fun of me when I cried and got bullied, and they normally would say, "Aw, are you going to try to your mommy?" and everyone would look at me and laugh at me. In 3rd grade, I got bullied for my looks (I was very pale in 3rd grade, and people would say that I had the plague because you could see my veins and I had a gut) and say I was a vampire or had diabetes for this (I think it developed into me having some kind of body dysmorphia since I starve myself a lot and hide my body). I had a lot of fake friends that lamented at me for being too “weird." I was also known as the "weird kid," so people would make stuff up about me like I was a vampire. In 5th grade, there was a rumor that I was dating a boy that I was friends with (this was before I came out as trans). And I was forced into a relationship with him. He was a cheating bitch that was creepy; he would make very creepy comments about girls' bodies and would say things like “I wish you were nude” or make sexual gestures toward me and other girls. Me and some other girls told the teachers but they didn’t do anything until our parents said that they would pull us out if this keeps happening (it still did but we were told to keep our mouths shut), I was also forecast into another relationship with another male friend, he was a bitch and a cheater, he would tell me if I broke up with him he would beat me, so I stayed with him until I learned he was cheating on a girl by using me to cheat, I told that girl what he was doing behind her back, she wasn’t happy so she broke up with him, but she got back with him like 3-4 times (I don’t know if there still dating or not, we don’t talk anymore since I’m home schooled) and I decided maybe boys aren’t good, I’ll try girls, I did and there was a girl I liked but I learned that she was a narcissist the hard way, when we broke up she send her friends to harass me and said I “abused” her (we were fucking 11 how the fuck was I abusive, if she wants to see abusive she can meet by bio dad to see what real abuse is). In 6th grade, I was bullied even more, and I was even harassed many times for being aroace and trans. And for being weird (I have undiagnosed autism which I’m trying to get diagnosed for) One day I was on the school bus on the way home, and the boy behind me thought it was funny to touch my chest. The person who sat next to me told me since I was zoned out. I told my parents what happened, and they went to the school and told someone. They tried to talk me into staying at that school. I’m homeschooled now.

#school suuuucks #tw assault #tw sa mention #tw selfhate #tw self h4rm #tw mention of sh

[aziraphaleandcrowley]

One of those days where I really wanna move out and stop living with my parents, but know there’s no chance of that without moving in with another person and there’s no one I’d wanna live with. My wage would barely cover rent, let alone bills and living expenses, and I don’t wanna decimate my savings when there’s no chance of earning more money any time soon. Living at home costs me the weekly food shop and that’s it so it’s not practical to move, but sometimes I really hate living here 🙃

#I hate to say it but it’s time like this I wasn’t aroace as meeting people would be easier and actually finding someone I like enough #to move in with would probably be easier #idk #I see pics of friends who have moved in with their partners and doubt that’ll ever be something I get to experience and :( #really wish I could afford to move to uni rather than just study from home but it would decimate my savings and I’d only be gone a year #plus would have to find another job etc so it’s just not worth it #even if it’s be great for my mental health \_(ツ)_/¯

[featherfur]

Meng Yao should have been around when Jiang Cheng was running around with his head cut off trying to make disciples out of rogues and convince everyone to get started on the war. I just think he’d see this, probably manic, idiot who needs help and is 100% willing to be bossed around and who really doesn’t care about Meng Yao station in life because he’s just fucking desperate and wants to die but can’t because Yanli and just go “actually I’m interested”. Because Jiang Cheng would riot if he knew Meng Yao wanted to go back to his dad, and well Jiang Cheng is very pathetic when he thinks he’s being left behind (“You’re leaving me for the Jin just like Shijie? Tears and loud words for you! Tears and loud words dor a thousand years!”)

And Meng Yao would have a spot in Lotus Pier where he is VERY clearly wanted, he probably doesn’t become sworn brothers with anyone (or LXC and NMJ realize that no one needs to give the Jin any more influence and become sworn brothers with Jiang Cheng) unless it’s Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (unfortunately WWX will still probably be killed or hunted at the very least but atleast Qin Su is alive? Maybe having MY around will help calm JC into the fact that LWJ wants to bang his brother and help him so JC can convince WWX to let LWJ atleast play for him, then maybe WWX can accidentally let slip about him already destroying one half and LWJ can help destroy the other half… Dunno if the Wen Remnants survive either sorry, honestly I don’t know if anyone can stop JGS in the long run)

So there’s two ways this goes: (under read more I have Thoughts)

Meng Yao DOES go to the Jin Sect still because JC gets wanting your Dad’s Approval even when he’s a dick AND he protects Yanli who immediately adopted him when JC showed up to the war with him. Without being stuck between a Rock and a Hard place (sorry NMJ not everyone is a annoyingly stubborn with their morals as you and MY is being hurt :( leave him alone :(( ) MY is able to continue being pressured without breaking and even though JGS keeps trying to get him to manipulate JC, MY won’t and won’t manipulate NMJ either and every time he goes to Lotus Pier to ‘look into’ the Jiang Sect he actually just spends the week being plied with children and listening to Jiang Cheng explain the fashion industry Again and talk about silks vs cashmeres vs wool so he just gets a vacay and is more prepared to stand up against his dad.

Also JC and Yanli catch on pretty quick to Madam Jin abusing MY because they were there after Madam Yu would hurt WWX and they know the signs of trying to hide the pain and Yanli suddenly starts Show Up whenever Madam Jin tries anything because that is her Didi now and she will protect him and if anyone ELSE tries to mess with him she will rip them apart like when Jin Zixun tries to bother WWX.

JGS does eventually manage to frame something on WWX but MY intervenes immediately by telling JC the truth and without the ‘did my kinda insane PTSD ridden brother so this?” Panic thoughts JC gets his people and is waiting for the force of Jin and smaller sects, with his two sworn brothers on either side. Because yeah NMJ absolutely hates the Wen but can he really ignore LXC and JC? Plus NHS on the side? He’s only there to protect WWX, anyone else can get fucked and even then he’s only protecting WWX because JC asked him too because NMJ thinks WWX sucks for choosing the wens because he’s very much of the one track ‘the wens suck’ mind. MY pretends he has no idea what’s going on but he does summon Jin Zixuan on ‘accident’ who shows up, annoyed he had to leave his kid, and is like “are we really going to accuse Nie Mingjue, known Wen hater, of protecting Wei Wuxian and lying about his innocence? Because his sword is the same size as my body and I’d rather Not”

(okay he’s more polite and subtle but that’s the gist) somehow Jin Guangshan dies, I’m voting Yanli poisoned him because I think Meng Yao is 100% willing at this point to simply take the abuse because Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen aren’t essentially telling him to murder his father and that he’s stupid for not holding harder to his morals (sorry NMJ,,, you just,, I love you but MY is hurting and he’s not as stabby as you) NMJ is still very much crankily telling him his dad sucks whenever they meet but Jiang Cheng gets all sparkly whenever MY is around because MY will say he’s Doing Good, so there’s only so much room before JC start just biting anyone who even looks at MY wrong. (NMJ says he’s proud of JC once and JC just starts crying and NMJ UnderstandsTM why MY won’t leave him alone)

But Yanli has to be the one to kill him because MY wouldn’t because he’s a filial son and probably hasn’t lost his hope he will be Loved, Jin Zixuan wouldn’t because he’s like the only one in the entire show not down with murder, Madam Jin is not about to give up the power and money that comes from being the wife of Jin Guangshan even if JZX would take care of her because Yanli clearly is willing to rip everyone apart who fucks with her family and unlike Jiang Cheng is willing to change the status quo, and if JGS dies on a hunt they’ll blame WWX so Yanli just poisons him slowly and he dies from ‘illness’. JZX takes power, Meng Yao is told he’s amazing twelve times a day because JZX can do busy work and argue against anyone but he cannot have a small talk conversation to save his life. Life continues peacefully, Jiang Cheng keeps kidnapping JZX’s advisor because he misses him. Meng Yao knows how to control literally every single great sect but he’s busy chasing down his nephews and helping Jiang Cheng avoid marriage offers to do anything.

Once Jin Guangshan died, LXC and MY both swooped in to have the Wen Remnants moved somewhere else to ‘civilize’ them (using LXC’s own words here) and WWX is very much caught between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji arguing over who he’s going home with and he’s honestly never felt more Loved TM. WWX spends six months to break the rest of the tiger rally under the grumpy/watchful eye of NMJ who still isn’t happy anyone from the Wen’s is still alive but he’s weak to puppy eyes and also when he’s being strong armed by his sworn brothers, MY, and NHS (though he still keeps an eye on the actual cultivators, he’s pretty much forgotten the rest of the Wen Remnants exist he just cares about the ones who know how to use a sword). Wangxian happens, idk how I’m voting for a wild Jingyi another orphan decides that he wants to meet the Purple Angry Man and body slams into WWX’s legs trying to get to the Purple man and LWJ catches him and it’s a full on romantic moment of staring into each other’s eyes while Jiang Cheng makes disgusted noises and Meng Yao pats his hand and just tells him to accept it.

Or Meng Yao stays in Lotus Pier because Jiang Cheng has problems and Meng Yao loves a messy loudmouth aggressive bitch with a secret heart of gold. Also Jiang Cheng is the exact kind of Demi-aroace dummy to not realize Meng Yao has a crush on LXC and keeps sending him over to Cloud Recesses to help with trade or something and MY gets to hang out with his crush constantly.

MY is Jiang Cheng’s personal advisor since WWX is currently refusing to process his trauma and staying in a very traumatic place. MY does try to help but WWX doesn’t trust him and probably only half trusts him around JC, BUT MY is very good with kids and helps work with JC on how to slip WWX supplies while negotiating directly with Nie and Lan without Jin glaring over him this time, and Jin Zixuan is more than happy to help when he can because again he’s just like the only one with modern morals and wants Lotus Pier to be strong since if all the sects fall then well the fucking demons/ghosts they hunt will eat them. So WWX is slowly atleast not ready to kill him, Meng Yao finds out WWX already destroyed half the Tiger Tally and tries to get him to let NMJ and LXC help him destroy it further (because that ties the three sects closer and so WWX won’t just stab someone if someone isn’t happy about the Wen’s existing)

Yanli poisons Jin Guangshan again because I think that’s the best way for him to go, Meng Yao does grieve but also that lasts for three minutes before Jiang Cheng shows up with some children he found in Yunmeng and Meng Yao needs to explain to him again that just because the kid latches on doesn’t mean you can take them home. But with JGS out of the way it’s a lot easier to strong arm NMJ into letting the Lan take the remnants (JC and NMJ still aren’t happy about it but NMJ can’t fight the three other sects and JC is getting his brother back and he’ll take the Wen living if that means WWX is too) and WWX returns to Lotus Pier. The truth of the golden core comes out probably via WWX having a flashback or panic attack or something (or that one theory of Yanli knowing,,,) words happen, WWX storms off to find LWJ.

Meng Yao wonders why he likes messy cry babies but still helps out Jiang Cheng because they’re technically brother in laws and also because he really does care about him. Wangxian happens and now Jiang Cheng is really pissed but WWX also said he wasn’t going to just up and leave so they’re on a rotating system but honestly everyone’s just waiting for them to move permanently to Lotus Pier because Lan Wangji has this giant hole in his heart for kids who love Wei Wuxian and Lotus Pier is filled with kids who are Jiang and therefore are insane ans love WWX.

Personally I think this one is the least likely but it sounds very nice right?

#the untamed #mdzs #Jiang Cheng #Meng Yao #Jin Guangyao #fix it #sorta #Lan Xichen #Nie Mingjue #Jiang Yanl #Wei Wuxian #read more #don’t take any of this seriously lmao pls I’m just fucking around

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

#tom hardy #mad max: fury road #venom 2018 #inception #rocknrolla #warrior 2011 #legend 2015 #the drop 2014 #the revenant #the dark knight rises #lawless 2012 #locke #this means war

[fruitquake]

realizations pt. 2

part one

read it on ao3

Regulus Black knows he doesn’t like girls. He wishes he did. It would make everything so much easier. But at some point, you have to accept that maybe you aren’t just a late bloomer. Maybe it isn’t just that you “haven’t found the right girl yet”. Maybe it’s just who you are.

Aside from knowing he definitely doesn’t like girls, though, it’s all very confusing. It seemed like a logical conclusion that if he doesn’t like girls, he must like boys.

But then, James Potter kissed him, and he’s pretty sure that if he were gay, it would’ve felt… special. Or it would’ve felt like anything at all. But rather, it felt exactly the same as kissing girls: uncomfortably and wetly smashing your mouths together. He didn’t say any of this to James. He didn’t say anything, actually, just left with what he knows was a terribly transparent excuse. Now, he’s in his room, sitting on the floor and staring out of the window at the few stars visible through the clouds.  

Is there something wrong with him? The question has been echoing in his mind since the kiss. Well, really, it’s been there long before, but he has managed to ignore it well enough before today. It was easy to push it to the back of his mind, and tell himself that he would figure it out eventually and it didn’t really matter.

But… He kissed James. James Potter, the guy who half the girls - and several guys - are utterly enamoured by. James Potter, who is objectively very handsome. And surely, if he were gay, kissing him would’ve felt… good? How is kissing supposed to feel? Regulus has tried it a few times by now, and it has never been the enjoyable experience that people make it out to be.

He is typing the words into google before he even registers having taken his phone out. Is kissing supposed to feel good?

Most of the search results are clinical, detached articles, explaining the biological and social reasons as to why humans like kissing. Until he stumbles upon a blog post on one of those ask-and-answer forums.

Anonymous: need advice!! my friends are constantly going on about their crushes and the people they’ve been with, how much they love kissing, all that stuff. and i just can’t relate at all. i’ve kissed a few boys, and once a girl too, and i don’t understand the hype at all? i’ve never really had a crush on anyone either, i think. all that kissing and dating and sex stuff just seem like a waste of time to me. is there something wrong with me? am i broken or something?

Regulus’s heart stutters as he reads the post through. He… relates to most of it. Is there something wrong with me? It’s the same question that’s been ringing loud and clear through his head since the kiss.

The comments are mostly stuff like “just wait til you’re older” and “you’ll get it when you meet the right person”, and Reg feels his stomach sink. Is that really it? He’s supposed to sit around and wait for “the right person” to come into his life and… fix him? He thinks about James again. James, who is kind and funny and one of his favourite people in the entire world. But kissing him didn’t feel right. It hasn’t felt right with anyone.

But then his eyes catch on another comment on the person’s post: you should look into the terms asexual and aromantic. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or that you are broken, but if you don’t have an interest in romance/sex it could be because you’re ace and/or aro.

Asexual and aromantic. Regulus googles both terms, spends hours reading through articles and blog posts and people sharing their experiences, and for the first time in his life he feels… seen. He hadn’t realized how lonely he felt, before discovering that he isn’t alone.

It’s a lot to take in. A lot of thoughts and questions and answers swirling in Regulus’s head. He really, really wants to talk to someone about all of this. But first of all, it’s 3 AM. Secondly, who?

James is… kinda the whole reason he’s having this sexuality crisis to begin with. He is certain he would’ve figured it out anyway at some point, but it’s thanks to James that he is up in the middle of the night, buried in research about his own identity. He doesn’t think he can talk to James about all this. At least not yet.

Then there’s Sirius. Regulus doesn’t know if he would understand. He feels some of that familiar loneliness creep up on him again. He and Sirius are finally close again. After years of division and hurt and pretending the other doesn’t exist, they have a relationship that’s actually good, and Regulus doesn’t want to ruin it. What if Sirius doesn’t understand or doesn’t accept him? He can’t lose his brother again. He doesn’t have anyone else.

Should he just… not tell anyone, then? Perhaps that is best, at least for now, he thinks. If no one knows, no one can judge him for it or tell him that it’s wrong or that his experiences aren’t real. He nods to himself, settling back into bed. It’s better if no one knows.

-

Regulus doesn’t get any sleep that night. Not that he really expected to. He spends the next day dozing off in class and avoiding James. Both are working out great for him until he starts awake, feeling a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He sits up straight on his chair and squints as he looks around. The classroom is empty, except for him and-

“Sorry, did I wake you?” James asks. He's standing beside Regulus’s desk, looking down at him with something like concern.

“S’fine,” Regulus mumbles, stifling a yawn.

James sits on top of the desk next to Regulus’s. “You look tired,” he says. “Are you okay?”

Regulus still doesn’t know how to react to people showing him genuine concern. It’s not something he’s really used to. “I’m fine,” he says, perhaps a bit too forcefully. He stands up, almost knocking over his chair in the process, and starts quickly packing up his things.

“Hey, uh,” James says, nervously messing up his hair in that way he does. “There’s something we should probably talk about.”

The kiss. Reg was desperately hoping James would pretend it never happened. He slings his bag over one shoulder and starts towards the door. “I’m sorta in a rush.”

James stands up. “Reg, please,” he says. “I… I really need to talk to you about it. Please.”

Regulus sighs, but stops in the doorway. “We don’t have to,” he says in an almost pleading tone, turning around to face James. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You don’t understand.” James looks at him with big doe eyes. “Reg, it matters to me.”

He regards James for a while, before nodding, signalling for him to say whatever it is he wants to say.

James takes a deep breath. “So, er… The thing about the kiss,” he begins, fidgeting nervously with the strap of his bag. “It sorta… made me realize something? About myself?”

Regulus has never seen him this nervous. He waits in silence for him to go on.

“Shit,” James mumbles, rubbing his face with his hands. “I feel like I’ve rehearsed this conversation all day, but now I just, like… Have no idea what to say.” He takes another deep breath. “Screw it, I’m just gonna say it, okay? I really fucking liked that kiss and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and also I’m bisexual.” It comes out as a quick string of words with no pause for James to breathe - or for Reg to interrupt him.

James looks at him; nervous, expectant, awaiting. But Regulus really doesn’t know what to say. He feels a tight knot in his stomach. “Oh,” he finally manages.

“Ah, shit,” James says frantically. “That’s right, there was something else I was gonna say, something important. I, er… I completely get it if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, because I really care about you and I don’t wanna lose you. I just… really needed to get this off my chest.”

He sounds so genuine. Of course he does, Reg thinks and feels stupid. When has James ever been anything but genuine, honest and loyal? When has he ever judged Reg or turned his back on him for anything? James knows him better than he allows most people to, and if there’s anyone Reg can talk to about this, it’s him.

“There’s something I need to get off my chest too,” Regulus says quietly.

James’s eyes widen. “Oh? What is it?”

Reg sets down his bag and goes to sit by the desk opposite James. He doesn’t look at him as he starts talking. “I’m aroace. I don’t experience… that kind of attraction. Romantic or sexual. It’s… not exactly that the kiss made me realize it. Or maybe it did. But I kinda already knew. I just… wasn’t ready to admit it to myself, I suppose? Also I didn’t really know the word for it. But… yeah, that’s who I am and I can’t do anything to change that, just as you can’t change the fact that you’re bi, so… I hope you won’t hate me now.”

When James stays quiet, Regulus forces himself to look up. James is looking at him with an unreadable expression, and Reg’s stomach drops. This was a terrible idea. He should’ve known he couldn’t tell anyone. He has ruined everything. James opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Reg has pushed out his chair and is walking toward the door with swift steps.

“Nevermind,” he says, ignoring the stinging of tears in his eyes.

“Reg, wait!”

“Forget everything I just said.”

-

James finds him rather quickly, at the area behind the school that’s nearly hidden with shrubs. It’s where he comes when he needs to be alone, and he knows it’s also where Sirius comes to smoke.

Regulus is sitting on the ground with his back against a tree trunk, not caring if his clothes get dirty. James sits down about a meter away from him, but doesn’t speak, so Regulus is the one to break the silence:

“Are you upset because of my sexuality or because I don’t have feelings for you?” he asks. His voice is harsher than he meant it to be, but at least it’s not shaking.

James draws in a sharp breath, turning to face him. “I’m not upset at all!” he exclaims. “What on earth gave you that idea?”

He’s… not upset? Regulus clears his throat. “Well,” he mumbles. “You didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” James says earnestly. “I didn’t really know what to say. And you didn’t exactly give me a lot of time to think before you stormed off.”

Now Reg feels like he’s the one who should apologize. He doesn’t, though. Just stares straight ahead at the shrubs surrounding them.

“I’m really sorry I made you feel this way, Reg,” James says softly. “I promise I’m not upset. I care about you. A lot. And I, er… I may not know that much about this stuff, but I’m gonna do research on it so I can support you the best I can, because I care about-” He cuts himself off. “No, wait, I already said that part,” he mumbles, laughing nervously.

Reg smiles at him. “You hate doing research,” he says. “You avoid it like the plague.”

James laughs again. “Shut up, you wanker,” he says, shoving him gently. “This is different!”

He scoots a bit closer, putting his hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “But really,” he says, his tone more serious now. “I support you one hundred percent. You’ll always be family to me. So if you want, we can just forget all about that kiss.”

“But…” Reg looks up at him. “The kiss did mean something to you, didn’t it?”

James considers this for a moment. “I mean… it was a good kiss. And it did sorta… force me to come to terms with my sexuality. But what really means something to me is you, Reg, and our friendship. I don’t wanna lose that, ever. So… do I maybe have a teeny tiny crush on you? Yeah, I think I might, but it’s honestly no big deal. It won’t change anything between us, I promise.”

He holds out his pinky finger, and it takes Regulus several moments to realize what he’s doing. He holds up his own pinky and laces it with James’s.

“I just realized, I’m kind of an asshole,” he says after a bit. “I practically dismissed your coming out because I was so worried about my own.”

“Oh.” James chuckles. “Mate, don’t worry about it. I completely understand.”

“If you want, you can tell me again and I will try to react better,” Reg offers.

James shakes his head, amused. “I… alright,” he says, grinning. “Regulus?”

“Yes?”

“I’m bisexual.”

Reg smiles at him. “Oh, okay!” he says, acting as though it’s the first he’s hearing of this. “That’s lovely. I’m very happy for you. And… obviously, I support you, and I care about you a lot, too.”

James’s grin grows wider. “Thank you,” he says.

They sit quietly for a while, before James speaks again:

“Do you wanna come over today? Mum is making pancakes for dessert. And we can play Mario Kart.”

Regulus groans, but can’t quite suppress a smile. “Ugh, I don’t wanna play Mario Kart against you. You always win. I swear you’re cheating, somehow.”

“How would I cheat at Mario Kart?” James asks with a laugh.

Reg shrugs, crossing his arms. “I don’t know, but I don’t wanna play with you either way.”

“Okay, well… You can play against Sirius? Or you two can team up and try to beat me together,” James suggests, nudging his shoulder. “Come on, it’ll be fun. And pancakes.”

“Fine,” Reg says, as if he wasn’t going to say yes from the beginning. “But only because of the pancakes.”

James nods solemnly. “That’s fair,” he says, and Reg tries not to smile like an idiot, but it’s hard not to because at least for now, all of the worries and doubts swirling in his chest have been driven away by a warm, relieved feeling.

“James?” he says.

“Yeah?”

He doesn’t actually know what to say, so he just wraps his arms around James and pulls him into a hug. James hugs him back tightly, and Regulus feels incredibly lucky to have a friend like him.

#regulus black #james potter #marauders #marauders era #muggle au #modern au #fanfiction #marauders fanfic #marauders fanfiction #bisexual james potter #aroace regulus black

[remuswriting]

Haikyuu Gender and Sexuality Headcanons

These are all my ideas and I only did Headcanons over characters I know a lot about and feel confident in doing so.  I know there are more characters than just these but I don’t want to bullshit it. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy these.

Karasuno

Daichi: Gym obsessed gay guy who dates hot guys from his gym.

Sugawara: Nonbinary and uses he/him pronouns.  He’s gay and constantly tells Daichi to get on Tinder instead of dating people at his gym.

Asahi: Also nonbinary but uses they/them pronouns.  Their masculinity can be a lot at times and it makes them dysphoric but their lovely boyfriend helps them out.  Also pansexual.

Nishinoya: Bisexual with a lean for women and is dating Asahi.  He hypes Asahi up whenever needed and helps them feel valid when that’s needed too.

Tanaka: Straight and dating Kiyoko.  Definitely had a crush on Ennoshita but didn’t really realize it.  He fights people who say he’s not actually straight because Kiyoko isn’t a ‘real woman.’

Ennoshita: He is gay and was 100% in love with Tanaka their third year.

Narita: Bisexual and likes Kinoshita but will most definitely never say anything.

Kinoshita: Gay and literally just trying to get through life without thinking too much about love.

Kageyama: Genderfluid with pronouns she/him/their and it’s typically he/them.  Shows what their gender is that day through clip on earrings (Hinata’s idea) and everyone respects it.  They’re aroace and cringe when anyone accuses them of dating Hinata.

Hinata: He is a transboy who struggles with really intense dysphoria but his teammates try to help him out.  He’s also bisexual with a huge male lean and his first crush was Sugawara.  Kenma was the person he had the biggest crush on all throughout high school though.  Their relationship is never really defined and eventually Hinata does date Atsumu.

Tsukishima: He’s nonbinary with using mainly he/him pronouns but there are days where they will announce they/them pronouns to the gym.

Yamaguchi: She is a trans girl and is so, so pretty!  She’s a lesbian and dating Yachi.  She doesn’t mind playing on the boys’ team because of the fact that most of them are trans like her and don’t push any boundaries.

Yachi: She is also a trans girl, which is how she and Yamaguchi bonded (besides being on the same team).  Literally she and Yamaguchi are the cutest lesbian couple you will ever see.

Kiyoko: Another trans girl, which is why she is so overprotective of Yachi. She’s straight and loves Tanaka for always defending her.

Nekoma

Kenma: Nonbinary but uses he/him pronouns and presents as man.  He’s gay but doesn’t form crushes easily.  Totally in love with Hinata and was the first person to call Hinata ‘Shouyou’ even after Hinata said he was trans.  Although he never actually confesses his feelings to Hinata, he still stays in his life and supports him as long as he can.  Would also probably send money over to Brazil and tell him to get top surgery and then gets to see the photos of Hinata in a tank top on the beach (Kenma can’t handle the cuteness)

Kuroo: Bisexual but still struggles to date anyone (Kenma always teases him about it) and is in love with Yaku but acts like he’s not.

Yaku: He’s a trans boy who gets a lot of dysphoria around his height thinks about killing Lev whenever they make a comment on it.  He’s pansexual and acts like he hates Kuroo, yet he’s in love with him.

Lev: They’re non-binary, only the team uses they/them pronouns because Lev was informed people at the school may not be all that accepting of someone who only uses they/them pronouns.  Also gay and has a thing for Hinata (like everyone does) and wants to show that they are cool enough for Hinata to date them.

Kai is straight and cisgender but he is the most understanding towards everyone. He will sit and listen to them talk or go shopping with them if they’re too scared to go alone or just practice with them a bit longer.  He’s just a good person.

Aobajohsai

Oikawa: He’s homoromantic asexual.  Feels like he has to act overly sexual at times because he has a rough relationship with his sexuality.  He’ll fight anyone who is transphobic or homophobic to anyone though.  Kind of has a thing for Sugawara but will never say it.

Iwaizumi: A transboy that has had toxic masculinity driven into him since he was really young.  Oikawa tries to help him with getting rid of that mindset but instead Iwaizumi lashes out at Oikawa, which Tooru prefers than the other doing it to himself. Iwaizumi is pansexual but just hasn’t had any attraction to anyone due to dealing with his gender.

Kunimi: He’s gay.  I don’t have anything else to add, just that he’s gay.

Hanamaki: So gay and teases Oikawa about the fact that he has a boyfriend while Oikawa doesn’t.

Matsukawa: Bisexual and dating Hanamaki.  Also makes fun of Oikawa but not as much.

Fukurodani

Akaashi: Genderfluid with the base pronouns of they/them for people they know very well and he/him for people they don’t know very well.  They have she/her days very rarely but when they happen, Bokuto always somehow knows and brings something pretty for the setter to wear like a bracelet or clip on earrings.  They’re pansexual and have an intense crush on Bokuto, who is oblivious.

Bokuto: Biggest Akaashi supporter you will ever meet.  He’s gay and in love with Akaashi and doesn’t know if he’s actually gay if he’s in love with them.  Yukie has to explain to him how he can still be gay and be in love with Akaashi.  He and Akaashi don’t start until they’re both done with high school.

Shiratorizawa

Goshiki: A nervous bisexual who is constantly overwhelmed by how pretty everyone is.  He leans more towards girls but has his fair share of gay panic (Ushijima).

Tendou: He is extremely gay and in love with Ushijima.  He starts crafting all these elaborate ideas on how to confess and then Ushijima confessed instead.

Ushijima: Demiromantic gay.  Probably thought he was aromantic for a long time until he realized he was in love with Tendou.  Probably told Tendou that if he had just said he liked him, then he would’ve accepted without a huge show.

Semi: They are nonbinary and their main pronouns are they/them, which the team uses, while everyone else uses he/him because they’re scared of people harassing them.  They also just continue to dress like a high school ‘boy’ and doesn’t feminize themselves because they don’t like how the media portrays every nonbinary person doing that to be valid when they’re happy in their own skin but just use different pronouns and isn’t called any masculine terms like guy/boy/man.  Hasn’t figured out their sexuality.

Shirabu: This little shit is gay and in love with Semi but doesn’t know how to show affection.  He insults them (not in a bigotry way) instead of complimenting them and assumes they’d understand he likes them.  Most likely will never confess.

Date Tech

Aone: He’s gay, in love with Hinata, and knows he doesn’t have a chance sadly.

Koganegawa: Biggest bisexual you’ll ever meet, he leans more towards guys but claims he’s more into girls. Probably fell in love with Hinata the moment he saw him but will never admit to it.

Miscellaneous

Sakusa: He’s homoromantic asexual.  He starts off as being sex repulsed in high school because germs and messes, also just doesn’t see the appeal.  Becomes sex neutral when he joins MSBY Black Jackal, still doesn’t care for sex but would maybe do it if he loved his partner enough (also things would be as mess free as possible).

Atsumu: Raging homosexual who falls in love easily but falls out of love just as fast.  In love with Hinata, fell out of love while the other was away in Brazil but all his feelings come back when he sees him ay MSBY Black Jackal try-outs.  Tried to confess once and Kageyama told him that he wasn’t worthy enough to date their best friend (Tsukishima agreed with them too).  Hinata confesses and asks why it’s taken Atsumu for so long and they fall (more) in love.

Osamu: He’s pansexual and really tired of dealing with Atsumu’s gay panic. Probably told him that Hinata loves guys who have a slit in their eyebrows just to see his brother look stupid for a month while it grew back.

Hoshiumi: Incredibly gay. He is in love with Hinata but thinks it’s just a rivalry.  Is jealous of Kageyama because he thinks they dated Hinata when Kageyama would rather choke on their own vomit than date someone they see as a brother.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio #yamaguchi tadashi #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #asahi azumane #noya #tanaka ryuunosuke #karasuno #nekoma #fukurodani #shiratorizawa #date tech #aoba johsai #seijoh #trans hinata #trans yachi #trans yamaguchi #trans tsukishima #trans kageyama #trans semi #trans asahi #trans sugawara #trans kiyoko #trans kenma #trans yaku #trans lev

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

This is totally cool, lol! That's why I tagged you, I like different perspectives 🥰 and I adore lesbian Jenny

I've been thinking a lot about Jenny's character and sexuality lately since I'm in the middle of rewatching the show. I totally agree that she's attracted to women and most times she pursues guys it's mainly to increase social status and not because of genuine interest. Nate always felt different to me, though. Like, the two times she really pursues him is in season 2, when she's being homeschooled and trying to make it as a designer, and the end of season 3, which is after the whole Damien drama and she's just looking for someone who cares about her and respects her (I know you said once that it doesn't even feel romantic here, which I also agree with, poor girl just needs a connection). I do really see how it can be interrupted as comphet, though. Like she feels like she's supposed to be attracted to Nate because who wouldn't be?

I think the reason why I lean the other way is probably just projection. Jenny's been my favourite GG character since I first watched the show when I was 12, partly because I relate a lot to her, and since I'm bisexual... Add that plus the fact that I totally have had a crush on Nate and of course I'm gonna ship them. I've been relating to Jenny even more this time around cause I dropped out of school this year, so her season 2 arc really hit close to me. So this made my jenate feelings come back tenfold and also made me that much madder at Rufus, lol. I just wanted to go through the screen and shake his shoulders like "There are other paths than the one you want your daughter to have, not everyone has to go through life like society expects you to let your daughter carve out her own unconventional path you fucking idiot!" Luckily my parents have been way more supportive.

Mainly I just see Jenny as bi with a strong lean towards women, but I like to think about lesbian Jenny, too. It wouldn't exactly be the first time I had contradicting headcanons.

I don't know I just think it's really cool that different people can have such different interpretations of the same character. I think that's what's so interesting about fiction, to see how we view things differently depending on how we view and relate to things based on our own experiences. Tumblr can be so focused on hating people who disagree with you, but I like following people with different opinions, it helps me understand people better.

Yeah, I'm glad you tagged me!! back in November, some anons were mean to me about shipping Jenate (me??? who literally does not even - anyway) and ever since then I've been trying extra to ensure that Jenate shippers feel welcome on my blog - you may already know this, because I've brought it up before, but I'm saying it here to let you know that every time you tag me in your Jenate edits I get so happy that you're sharing something you're so passionate about with me!! I'm also a big believer of like........ making the content you want to see (a big part of why I even learnt to gif is because nobody was giffing Dan & Nate, and I was like...... that's the content I need, so if it's not already existing, I'm gonna make it happen!) so regardless of my feelings it's always so cool to see the way you conceptualise JN + their feelings re: each other, and your choice of scenes + lyrics (??? I'm not actually familiar with where you got the words for your edits, they're likely songs I haven't heard, haha) is just so interesting & good!

OH my full Jenny & Nate feelings are a lot more complicated than just comphet on Jenny's part. I feel like..... neither of them was romantically/sexually into each other? and that is kind of the appeal to me? I've always interpreted Nate's interest in Jenny during the s2 arc as sort of like - everything in his life is so unstable and undetermined, and here is Jenny who is so clear on who she is and what she wants, and he admires and respects that, and he wants to be there for her and support her, so when she kisses him he just sort of lets her take their dynamic wherever she wants to? that is very much the vibe I got. You already know how I feel about lesbian Jenny, I mean, you quoted my meta right back at me :'))

but I DO agree with you that Nate is different from the other guys to Jenny. JN have this really specific kind of honesty to them - well, when Jenny wasn't spiralling and trying to get power and acting out, and when the writers actually cared? I still think that NJ had the potential to be a SOLID dynamic but the writers made it sorta unhealthy on the show :(( - but I've spoken abt moments like in seventeen candles and the empire strikes jack before, where they're both able to be emotionally vulnerable around each other in ways we don't see them be with anyone else. I've even compared that to what I like about Derena, whom everyone knows I ship in every possible way, haha. But there's something about characters who trust each other and allow themselves to be honest with each other in ways that they wouldn't otherwise EVER be - especially with characters like Jenny & Nate who have spent so long trying to seem fine and okay even when they're really not.

I honestly really like the idea of queerplatonic Jenate - they're life partners, they're each other's rock, they're each other's person - but it's not romantic OR sexual - and for Nate & Jenny, whose adolescence has involved navigating other people sexualising them so much + not having the best track record with romantic relationships - for them, I feel being qpps gets REALLY interesting, because you get all the perks of a relationship without the romantic/sexual obligations? (obligations isn't the best word, but i don't know what else to use here? LOL) and that's something i love to explore.

I feel like book Jenny was bi! The way she gushed about Nate, whom she canonically had a crush on, and the way she gushed about Serena were EXACTLY the same. Also YES I love multiple headcanons always, it's a lot of fun seeing people explore that!!! I know people who have aroace readings of Jenny, or aro lesbian / ace lesbian readings of her, and I find that really cool, too!

I also definitely get you about relating to Jenny a lot, and feeling that kind of connection. It's similar to how I feel about Dan, and .... explains a lot of my contradicting dair views, actually. A few years ago I had a seriously intense crush on a girl who was... a lot like Blair, in many ways. I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing poetry about her, etc etc, but I never actually acted on it. If she'd fabricated schemes that involved us kissing, though..... I don't know. I don't think I would've denied it if I'd felt like I actually had a chance. I think we just had a case of bad timing, & I like to think in another universe, maybe we were actually together for a bit. I'm glad that your parents are supportive of you and better than Rufus! <3

I think that's what's so interesting about fiction, to see how we view things differently depending on how we view and relate to things based on our own experiences <- THIS exactly! this is a big part of why that "proship" is in my bio. like this is exactly what it means to me and how I conceptualise & understand it!!! Like you, I also like engaging with people who have different understandings and opinions of the characters -> it definitely helps you make new friends you would otherwise not meet by staying in your bubble, & from a fandom point of view, it also helps you develop a more nuanced understanding of a character. Some of the best written Jenny Humphrey I've read was in Jenate fics - and I've had people who don't even ship Blenny tell me they liked the way I wrote Jenny in my post canon blennyfic, so... idk. it's loving Jenny hours - each and every single iteration of Jenny!!!

#long post #edmundapologist #jenate #i would usually like . put a post of this length under a read more #but i don't know where i would insert that here? so this is how it turns out i guess #meta #also adding the #personal #tag. this feels mildly TMI but it's nothing i haven't said before in tags #this is the first time i'm Formally putting it out here though #tumblr user rainathorpe came THIS close to having an irl dair arc... hashtag so much for that #ALSO ! sometimes i tag stuff like that because like - #my blog kind of serves as a record or journal for ME #sometimes i read thru my own posts like 'so true bestie' fghgklhf #which i think is the best way to run a tumblr. be your own audience! #thank you for this ask btw - it's very sweet!! <3

[remywrites5]

Happy Birthday, Fel!

It’s not still @casualmaraudering ‘s birthday where she is but it still is where I am so I’m counting it! Just something short a sweet (because some friends don’t bother to tell you that their birthday is coming up so you have to scramble to write a thing! Anyway - hope you like it and Happy Birthday!!!)  ****  Remus had imagined that his university years would be spent making lots of friends and finally getting himself a boyfriend. Instead, it had consisted of a lot of homework, a lot of crying, one friend, named Regulus Black, and no boyfriend to speak of. Remus had found himself crushing on Regulus just a bit, until he learned that Regulus was aroace, and therefore completely uninterested in Remus as anything other than a friend. It hadn’t taken Remus long to get over his crush, after all, it was barely a crush to begin with.

           Remus and Regulus were sitting across from each other, working on their group project for their art history class, or at least pretending to do so in between sending each other memes.

“Oi, you wanker!”

           Remus glanced up in surprise and caught Regulus cringing. Regulus’ shoulders hunched forward, as if he were trying to make himself invisible. Remus blinked a few times, caught off guard by Regulus’ reaction, and looked around for the source of the voice.

           Someone was approaching their table, bounding over like an overexcited puppy, a big grin on his face. He looked exactly like Regulus, except his hair was a bit longer, his face a bit softer, where as Regulus was all sharp angles.

           Remus was about to ask Reg if he was okay when the stranger dropped into the chair next to Reg and put his arm around him. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

           “Of course I did,” Regulus said bitterly. “Why do you think I was hiding?”

           “That’s mean.”

           Regulus sighed. “What do you want, Sirius?”

           Sirius grinned and pulled Regulus closer, nearly choking him. “Well, first I want you to introduce me to the hot pink-haired boy across from you.”

           Regulus shoved Sirius’ arm away. “Remus Lupin, this is my idiot twin brother, Sirius.”

           “Oi, don’t introduce me like that!” Sirius said, scandalized. “I never see you around campus and this is how you behave?”

           “We’re in different departments,” Regulus reminded his brother. “I don’t have much reason to visit the foreign language department. Also, I avoid you at all costs.”

           “Rude,” Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I was going to buy you a coffee, too.”

           “Only if you buy one for Remus too.” Regulus stipulated, gesturing towards Remus. Remus froze as suddenly both brothers’ attention focused on him. It really was unfair that people could be that attractive. Remus felt heat rising to his cheeks at the unwavering glances.

           “Hi,” Remus said, giving a little wave and then immediately regretting it. He felt so unbelievably stupid.

           “Hello,” Sirius practically purred, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hand.

           “It’s – uh – nice to meet you,” Remus said, glancing away. “Regulus never mentioned having a twin brother.”

           “What?” Sirius shouted, turning towards his brother accusingly. “How have you never mentioned me?”

           “Because you’re embarrassing,” Regulus responded, kicking at Sirius under the table. “Now go get our coffees.”

           “Fine,” Sirius said, gracefully standing up. He pulled his long, dark hair up into a ponytail and grinned. Remus pretended it wasn’t doing things to him. It was very nearly an insurmountable task.  “Only because I am such an awesome brother.”

           “Don’t get ahead of yourself there,” Regulus told him, typing something on the keyboard of his laptop.

           Sirius glared at him for a moment and then quickly reached over and smashed a few of the keys, ruining whatever it was that Regulus was typing.

           “You’re so childish!” Regulus said, jamming his finger on the backspace key.

           Sirius laughed and walked over to Remus’ side of the table. “So what kind of coffee do you like?”

           Remus played with one of his curls nervously. “Uh, anything mocha is fine, but you really don’t have to – “

           “Nah, I got you,” Sirius said, nudging Remus with his elbow. “Be right back!”

                                                                       ***

           Remus didn’t think much of his bizarre run-in with Regulus’ brother. After all, it was a large campus, they were unlikely to meet each other again. Remus wasn’t about to go crazy over some guy he barely knew, especially when he figured Reg would have a problem with it. Remus wasn’t about to risk his one friend on some guy who probably wasn’t interested in the first place.

           There was an LGBTQ+ dance that Remus was determined to attend on campus. His goal of finally getting a boyfriend hadn’t changed, and since he barely socialized with anyone except Reg, this felt like the perfect opportunity to meet someone. Regulus had refused to go with Remus, so Remus was stuck going on his own. It was taking all of his courage to walk through the door by himself. He clutched the ticket he’d bought in his hand like a lifeline and tried to calm his nerves.

           “Hey,” Someone whispered behind Remus, their breath on Remus’ ear, making him shiver. Remus turned his head and came face to face with none other than Sirius Black. Remus swallowed thickly and took a quick step away.

           “Hi Sirius,” Remus said, gripping his ticket even tighter. “Are you going to the dance as well?”

           “It’s worse than that,” Sirius said with a lazy grin. “I actually helped organize it.”

           “Wow,” Remus said, impressed. “That’s amazing.”

           Sirius chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “Is it? I was mostly roped into it by my friend, Marlene.”

           “I think it’s great,” Remus said, smiling encouragingly. “I’ve been meaning to become more involved in club stuff.”

           “Well, we meet every Thursday in you’re free,” Sirius said, slipping his hands into the pockets of his trousers. He looked stylish in a black suit, perfectly tailored, his red tie undone around his neck and a few buttons undone on his shirt. Remus felt silly standing next to him, wearing his nicest pair of jeans and a green cardigan. He probably should have put more effort into his appearance for something like this.

           “I’ll definitely come when I can,” Remus promised, tugging on one of his curls nervously.

           “Hey, dance with me,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus by the arm and leading him into the activities hall where the dance was taking place.

           “W-wait, I didn’t give them my ticket!” Remus said in a panic as Sirius led him past the ticket booth. The person at the table merely gave Sirius a nod as they walked inside.

           “Don’t mind that,” Sirius said, sliding his hand down Remus’ arm to clasp his hand instead. “I’ll make sure they get it.”

           “Sirius!” Remus said, his face bright red. “I – I’m not much of a dancer.”

           “Don’t worry,” Sirius told him, pulling Remus in close and wrapping his arms around his waist. “It’s a slow one.”

           Remus had no choice but to put his arms around Sirius’ neck and get close to him. It was so overwhelming that Remus was scared he might die. Their eyes kept meeting and Remus couldn’t handle that much eye contact. So instead, he buried his face against Sirius’ neck and pretended he was fine. It may have been a bit intimate, but it was better than looking up at those intoxicating grey eyes. At least like this Remus felt like he could still form coherent thoughts.

           “This feels more like we’re hugging than dancing,” Sirius teased as they swayed together to the music. “Why won’t you look at me?”

           “Can’t.” Remus mumbled, squeezing Sirius tighter.

           “Why not?”

           “I’m worried.”

           “About?”

           “Doing something stupid,” Remus answered, hoping against hope that Sirius wouldn’t question him further. Sirius chuckled and pressed his nose against Remus’ hair. It felt nice, being held by Sirius in such a way. Remus wouldn’t mind staying there for a while longer. He felt his eyes slip shut of their own volition.

           “What if I do something stupid?”

           “Hmm?” Remus hummed, nuzzling his face against Sirius’ throat. “I won’t mind.”

           “Don’t hate me, okay?”

           “Why would I –“

           Sirius placed his finger under Remus’ chin and tilted his face up. Remus then lost any and all train of thought as Sirius pressed their lips together, his mind going fuzzy like it was full off cotton. It was gentle and undemanding, a simple press of lips against lips, and a moment later it was done. Sirius pulled back and let his thumb tenderly caress Remus’ cheek.

           “I’m sorry.”

           “What for?” Remus asked, his stomach dropping. He wondered if Sirius already regretted it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle that. “D-did I do it wrong?”

           Sirius chuckled. “Of course not. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I just really have wanted to do that since I met you.”

           “Why?”

           Sirius shrugged. “You’re kind of adorable.”

           Remus scowled at him. “No, I’m not.”

           Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Even when you’re angry you’re cute as fuck. Your nose gets all scrunched up. I really like that.”

           “W-we don’t even really know each other that well.” Remus reasoned, taking a step back to put some distance between himself and Sirius. “We’ve only met once. This is ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous.”

           “Sometimes you just know, right?”

           Remus felt his jaw drop. “Regulus – “

           “Will get over it. Don’t use him as an excuse,” Sirius said, frowning slightly. He looked kind of upset and Remus felt bad for having brought it up. Sirius ran his fingers through his hair and then exhaled loudly. “He doesn’t hate me as much as he pretends to.”

           The song had changed to a pop song Remus vaguely recognized, but Sirius and Remus remained slow dancing. It was kind of nice, like being in their own little world. “I don’t know what to say. I’m not even sure what you’re asking me.”

           “How about a date?”

           “Okay,” Remus said, tucking his head back under Sirius’ chin. He liked being close to Sirius, it was somehow both exhilarating and extremely comforting at the same time. “When?”

           “How about now? Spend the rest of the dance with me.”

           Remus smiled against Sirius’ neck and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his jaw. “I think I can handle that.”

                                                                       ***

           It was well past midnight and Sirius was walking Remus back to his dormitory. Their hands were laced together, swinging between them as they walked. They’d spent the rest of the dance talking and dancing, occasionally kissing. Just thinking about it made Remus’ toes curl in his shoes. He’d had his first date with a boy. A boy that he had kissed. There was going to be more dates and more kissing. His stomach was twisted into knots just thinking about it.

           “Remus?” Sirius said, stopping just outside Remus’ building.

           “Yeah?”

           “I kind of don’t want to say good night to you,” Sirius confessed, giving Remus’ hand a small squeeze.

           Remus felt his face go bright red, heating up in complete embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry, I’m not ready for – “

           “Oh god no!” Sirius said quickly, waving his free hand around to dispel Remus’ thoughts. “I didn’t mean that. I meant that I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

           “Oh,” Remus said, thinking it over. He found that he felt the same way. Spending time with Sirius was easy, effortless, and even though Remus felt nervous around him, he didn’t feel like that was a bad thing. “I have an idea.”

           They stopped by Remus’ dorm so that Remus could quickly fill a thermos with hot chocolate and grab one of his spare blankets. He then led Sirius up to the rooftop, where people had put some sofas. It was a popular spot for people to come up and smoke or drink as long as they didn’t get caught.

           They sat side by side on one of the sofas and Remus put the blanket around them to share. They passed the thermos back and forth as they continued to talk. The more Remus watched Sirius, the more differences he could spot between Sirius and Regulus. It had taken Remus a long time to get Regulus to open up to him and agree to be his friend. Sirius was so open and friendly in contrast, things seemed to go so smoothly with him. Regulus was dry and sarcastic, while Sirius was more genuinely funny, making Remus snort more than a few times.

           Before Remus knew it, the sun was peeking over the tops of the trees. Sirius stood up and stretched, raising his arms high over his head. He then turned and held out a hand to Remus. “One more dance?” he requested with a small smile. “While the sun comes up?”

           “We don’t have any music,” Remus informed him, but stood up all the same.

           Sirius slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He then grabbed his airpods out of the case and put one in each of their ears. Remus waited patiently as Sirius scrolled through his phone, looking for the right song. Like Real People Do by Hozier began to play in Remus’ left ear and Remus found himself falling back into Sirius’ arms. The slow and soft melody felt perfect to the quiet of the early morning.

           Eventually they stopped dancing, too wrapped up in kissing each other to remember to move their feet.

           There, in the chill of an early September morning, Remus discovered what it felt like to fall for Sirius Black.

#I write things #wolfstar #sirius black x remus lupin #I threw in aroace Reg for you as well #and pink haired Remus #fluff #I was going to have french speaking Sirius in there as well but I got lazy #that's why he's in the foreign language department #university au #I've forgotten how to tag things it's been so long #coming out of hiding for some birthday shit #hope you like it #happy birthday fel

[thominho-incorrectquotes]

You are the miracle I was hoping for

This is my entry for Thominho Week 2021, Day 1 “ Minho's first impression (Canon compliant) ”

Characters: Thomas x Minho

2129 words

Tags: Canon compliant, takes place in the first book, grey-aroace Minho (hinted)

Summary:   When Minho volunteered to be a Runner, he didn't expected to be so alone. Until everything changed.

Note:   I'm so excited for another Thominho Week! Hope you enjoy all the fics I have prepared!

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

_______________________________

When Minho first arrived in the Maze with the first bunch of teenage boys, with no memories, it had been a mess. Trying to figure everything out took a while and they lost few boys to what they decided to call Grievers. But he remembered being somehow attracted to what was beyond those walls. He wanted to know more.

When they started dividing the different jobs, Minho had jumped on the "Runner" one and was soon assigned as the Keeper of the Runners since he was the fastest and bravest one. He wanted to know what this "maze" was all about. If their theory was right and that they were sent there to solve what appeared to be a Maze with the few small exploration they made during the first days, then Minho wanted to be the one to find the solution.

So he ran. Everyday.

With time, they started figuring more things, like how the Maze had sections that changed every day. Or how The Grievers seemed to come out more at night. The young Asian was thrilled every time a new discovery was made.

Soon enough, it had been a year. A year of running every day, mapping out the Maze, eating at the Glade before sleeping. Starting all over the next day.

And after a year… there was no new discovery. They stagnated.

And after a year of running alone in the Maze… Minho realized how lonely his life had become. Beside the few times he had to train a new Runner, the Keeper spent most of his days alone, running his ass off in hope to find an escape to this hell.

He wasn't in the Glade long enough to become close to someone. He had been close to Newt, another runner, even if they still didn't spend much time together. But one day, Newt tried to kill himself and was no longer a Runner. And ever since, the blond stuck to Alby.

And Minho was lonelier than ever.

It was hard, really, being the Keeper of the Runner, having the biggest responsibility on his shoulders while also having to see everyone in the Glade having friends, or even partners, while he was alone.

He hated it. Hated it so much. He hated those who put them there. He hated loosing another Glader, like it was his own fault that he couldn't save them all. He hated that he had no one.

He was starting to lose hope. And he hated it even more. It was his job, his responsibility, he couldn't lose hope! So every time he set foot in the Maze, he wished for a miracle. Every time one of his Runner was about to give up, he took on the role of the optimistic one, giving words of encouragement, ignoring how hard it was to do so when he was also falling apart.

Another year passed. Same loneliness. Same old Maze who couldn't be solved. Same hatred for those who put them there.

Despite all this, he did his job every day. Despite losing their leader, Nick, to the Grievers few weeks ago, he still wished that things would change. Despite the routine making him sick of everything, he continued. He couldn't stop. Everyone counted on him.

Another Greenie came. The first one since Alby became the leader. Minho didn't think about it too much. Just another Newbie that he won't be able to get close too. But then, on his daily run in the Maze, he came across something he'd never seen before. A dead Griever.

Was this the sign he was hoping for? Were things starting to change?

He ran back to the Glade. He had to figure it out. This was big!

He never ran faster before. His lungs were burning, but he didn't stop. It's only once in the safety of the Glade that he allowed himself to crash down in exhaustion, finally allowing his body to escape the pain from his long sprint.

The Greenie, a brown-haired boy, a little younger than him, ran to him, asking if he was okay. Minho was momentarily distracted by the many moles covering the boy's face.

He was beautiful. So beautiful.

Perfect lips, curious amber eyes that looked golden in the sun, messy brown hair that made him look younger than he probably was… He was perfect. And it was so unsettling for Minho, all those feelings… He had never felt the need – the urge – to kiss someone else before, and this boy comes and steals Minho's breath away, not that he had any left after his run.

Alby's arrival got him out of his daydream. Quite annoyed that him for that, he commanded their leader to get him some water. He wanted to have the Greenie for himself, just for a while.

Of course, he couldn't help but be his sarcastic self. He was a bit afraid that Thomas, as the boy told him what is name was, would take offense in his sarcasm, like all other Gladers who couldn't stand him for that, but unlike them, Thomas, after seemingly understanding Minho's way of communicating, seemed to not mind it. It was a pleasant surprise. There was something about him that made him different from the others. Minho only wished he could spend more time with him.

And then, Ben was banished for attacking Thomas, saying that it was all Thomas's fault, which only was adding to Minho's suspicions about Thomas being different.

Trying to push back the thought that a Glader died once again, he went into the Maze the next day along with Alby to show him the dead Griever. No matter what, he still had a job to do.

He would never could have guessed that Alby would be dumb enough to poke the disgusting flesh of this monster with a stick. He would never could have guessed that he would have to smash their leader's head with a rock in order to carry him to safety.

After hours of walking in the Maze with Alby on his back, Minho knew time was running out. He didn't have to look at his watch to know that. After years in the Maze, it had become a second nature to just know when the doors would close.

The idea of leaving Alby there and saving himself made its way into his mind, but he pushed it back. If he couldn't save as many Gladers as he could, his job as the Keeper of the Runners meant nothing. He had to save Alby. He had to save everyone.

The finally saw the doors, but to his horror, they were closing. He knew he had no chance. He knew that if he just dropped Alby there, he could still run to the doors and save his life. But he couldn't. He couldn't give up!

So he continued his way to the Glade, Alby on his back. He saw Thomas. He saw the boy looking at him in horror as the doors were closing. Before he could yell him to stop, he saw the Greenie rushing into the Maze, as the doors closed behind him.

Minho wanted to scream, but no sounds came out. His throat was raw and he was breathless.

He was trapped. He was trapped in the Maze.

And Thomas, the dumb shank, was there too.

Minho couldn't understand why the boy would throw away his life like that. It was a death wish. The boy was suicidal, there was no other option.

But Thomas wanted to help, wanted to find a solution. Minho couldn't believe how dumb the boy was. Sure, he had arrived in the Glade not so long ago, but he was pretty sure Newt told him about the Maze and how dangerous it was.

Fear filled his whole body. He didn't want to die. He still had his goal to achieve. He still had to solve the Maze and save everyone!

He was the best Runner, he knew the Maze by heart. Maybe he would be able to escape the Grievers?

With that thought in mind, he left Thomas there with Alby. Alby was going to die anyway and if the Greenie was bright enough, he'll escape the monsters too.

So he ran. He was exhausted, but he couldn't stop. The Maze felt alive, as if it was watching him. The blood pumping into his hears couldn't stop the noise from the Maze. The Grievers were there.

He was terrified. Only the familiarity of running kept him going.

But then, he was hit with a strange feeling, making him stop in his track. Thomas had went into the Maze. He went into the Maze! He went to help him! And Minho just left him there. The boy knew nothing about the Maze, he was going to die without his help! And the thought of Thomas dying twisted Minho's stomach.

He didn't know exactly why, but Thomas couldn't die. Thomas was different. His act of stupid bravery back there was enough proof. No one in the Glade would have done the same. Everyone, himself included, would have just stayed in the safety of the Glade.

Thomas was important. Thomas could not die. With that in mind, Minho turned around and retraced his steps to where he hoped Thomas still was. His fear was pushed back, taken over by the pure determination of helping the Greenie. The only thing he allowed himself to be scared off was finding Thomas dead.

He wasn't dead when Minho finally saw him. But he was about to be killed by the four Grievers surrounding him. Minho was too late. Thomas was going to die. The Keeper wanted to scream, but his throat was squeezed shut.

But then, Minho saw something that changed everything.

Thomas sprinted towards one of the Grievers. The monster seemed surprised for a second before rushing at the boy, but before he could get him, Thomas stepped aside letting the Griever pass by him, not able to stop, before running again.

It wasn't the fact that Thomas shucking escaped a Griever. It was the fact Thomas didn't give up, even if all the odds were against him. That's what they needed.

And as Minho came up with a plan of his own after seeing the boy's stunt, as they ran together towards the cliff, as he took Thomas in his arms after they pushed the last Griever down the hole, trying is best to comfort the crying kid because of an unknown feeling in his guts told him to, as they came back to the Glade alive, as Minho took Thomas's defense during the Keepers meeting, as they became closer on their daily run in the Maze, as his feelings for the one he now considered his best friend grew… Minho knew he wouldn't be able to live without Thomas.

Because Thomas was the miracle he was hoping for.

___________________________________

Hope you liked it! See you tomorrow!

#Thominho Week 2021 #tmwd1 #minho's first impression (canon compliant) #canon-compliant #tmr #tmr thomas #tmr minho #minho tmr #thomas #maze runner thomas #the maze runner #thominho #minho #thomas and minho #maze runner minho #fanfiction #thominho fanfiction #thominho fanfic #fanfic #tmr fanfic

[loiskane]

sometimes i hate i’m so terrible in conversation. just this night i was on a doctor who discord server playing a game with a group of people. after a couple of rounds it was just a conversation and the topic turned to feminist topics and then lgbt topics, like biphobia. and i wanted to contribute but when several people talk at once i just stop talking because i don’t like talking over people but often the conversation moves on before i can say what i want. which is kinda what happened (the person who was talking about biphobia was talking about her own experience) and i had stuff to say but i didn’t end up saying much as it so often happens

what i do mind is that a bit later someone else said she’s asexual(!!!) and i wanted to say that i am too but the same thing happened and there wasn’t another occasion to bring it up later without sounding cringy.

also i’m basically new to this group and i always feel i need to unlock an advanced level of knowing people before i share personal stuff about myself. especially when i’m among people who already know each other which is most of this group. it’s only 3 of them who i’ve spoken to several times on the other doctor who server, as all 4 of us are active there and others a little less so.

i also don’t really say much that i’m ace, i said it only one time out loud to people i’ve known for years. and the other time was over messages and to someone who’s also ace and saw my insta bio that has an ace flag of emojis. considering i only figured it out for sure last summer and for obvious reasons i don’t meet many people nowadays. oh and i also said it to a friend i know from school, it’s my oldest friendship and she already figured i’m probably not straight and i just clarified.

nwm before i figured it out i did talk about it a classmate during our masters years (in 2017 or 2018 i think) who casually asked about my sexuality and i said “i considered asexuality” but i’m not sure. and now i can think of two separate times of talking about it pre 2020 summer, once was more about asexuality in general, to a friend who also an MA classmate, after an article about demisexuality was posted in a feminist group we’re both in. i said i related to it. (this was in the same year probably)

then couple months later we were at an event were you had these things called “live books” where people act as kind of library books and you can talk to them about their identity. we talked to someone who’s ace. and then obviously my friend and i talked about it too although she was talking more as i was having what you would call an existential crisis.

i think the only other time i said anything was in 2018 september when we had a get to know you event with the 1st year MA students and aforementioned friend and i were talking to one of the students who’s a lesbian and sexuality came up and i said i’m bi but probably on the ace spectrum.

i’m going off track the point is i should’ve said i’m ace like how rare it is to meet another ace person irl (kind of, this is a hungarian dw server). i want to join more of these game sessions in the future so i hope i’ll have the chance to say something at some point. she’s one of the people who are also active in the other server but that one is larger and personal conversations like this aren’t likely to happen. also idk how accepting people are, most of them seem okay based on the vibe when queer stuff comes up, but you never know. in terms of politics i don’t think anyone is super conservative but i think most of them are less progressive and feminist than i am, although it’s hard to say with these things when we mostly talk about dw (and none of them are the sexist 13 era hater kind). interestingly, the 3 people who are also active on this server and were there tonight def never gave me conservative vibes or anything like that (and neither did anyone else there who was there for the convo although it seems lot of them don’t like clara so that will be interesting).

so yeah apparently i have a hard time coming out who knew. (i knew). and also there’s always that doubt that what if i’m not ace, not bi(romantic). and i’m about 99% sure with the ace part and mostly sure about romantic attraction so like??? also i felt weird relating to the biphobia experience seeing as i’m not completely bisexual?? and sometimes talking to my friend who’s aroace makes me feel less ace bc i really don’t think i’m aro so idk. mostly, i just idk, that’s the problem.

#personal #asexuality #dw fandom #lgbtq

[angelofthequeers]

City of Bones thoughts

I finally got City of Bones the other day and my scattered thoughts (tagging @repulsolife who wanted to know my thoughts):

I didn’t think Clary was a Mary Sue. People who slammed the series kept insisting she was one because she was so “speshul” with runes, but I’ve stopped caring about hating female characters based on special abilities since the realisation that people worship special male characters like Luke Skywalker but slam girls for the same reasons.

And on that note, I really like Clary. I resonated with her and how she felt like she didn’t fit in either world. I was reminded of Percy Jackson from when I read The Lightning Thief: both are kids shoved into a deadly world that wants to kill them while losing their mothers in the process after said mothers tried to keep them away, both meet a cute and highly skilled blonde with a painful past who are prickly with them at first but then slowly warm to them (Jace and Annabeth), both are powerful and have latent abilities that they need to learn to use, etc.

(Except I’ve seen a lot more scorn directed at Clary than Percy but that’s a story for another day)

Like, she makes mistakes and has flaws that are actually mistakes and flaws. She runs headlong into dangerous situations and ignores the advice of people telling her not to, and she genuinely gets her and others around her into trouble because of it. She has insecurities. She was so damn hurtful to Alec and was way out of line to weaponise his crush against him, but I also understood where she was coming from and that it wasn’t just a tantrum. I do like her overall.

Can’t stand Jace. I know he has a Tragic Backstory and he’s just Insufferably Smug As A Mask, but he annoyed me from the moment I saw him. I honestly wondered wtf Clary saw in him, even after all the times he opened up to her.

Simon was hilarious but even he got annoying when it came to the love triangle. I was expecting Isabelle to eventually return his crush and have the dynamic of the Hot Girl and the Nerdy Boy, so it was a little refreshing for Simon to realise that what he was feeling was shallow infatuation and have that help him see just why he liked Clary. A lot of these “I’ve been in love with you for years” crushes are just...there, but I genuinely enjoyed the rapport between Clary and Simon, and I could see why Simon was crushing on her, even if it got annoying.

Hated the love triangle. Hated it. I’ve never liked them in the first place but it honestly detracted from the story for me. I wanted to find out more about Jocelyn and Valentine and the Cup and angels and demons and the world in general without having the damn love triangle intrude on everything every time Jace and Simon were on the page. The dick-measuring contest got old fast.

I feel like people who complain about Clary being oblivious and how could she not have noticed Simon was crushing on her because it was so obvious have never heard of us aroaces. Her not catching on was very real for me.

The Clary/Jace relationship was a bit...sudden. Like, I know it’s taken half the book, but it’s only been a few days in the actual story and then they’re making out. Idk, maybe it’s just me being too aro for all this. I might grow to like it as it’s fleshed out but for now, it’s way shallow and idk what Clary sees in Jace and why Jace is into her in return. I would’ve liked for the first kiss stage to happen in a later book, but I know in passing about the upcoming relationship drama, so...I guess.

Isabelle was cool. She was pretty obviously the Designated Hot And Quirky Female Friend, but I still liked her. And I liked that she wasn’t outright rude to Clary or basically pitted against her in a catty bitchfight; each girl had their insecurities and projected onto each other, but they weren’t nasty to each other like Rosalie was to Bella in Twilight.

Alec was okay. He obviously had a Painful Past too, but I didn’t really feel either way about him. I guess because he’s not Jace, so we’re not meant to root for the Hot Bad Boy in the same way with Alec. I did love how he was explicitly gay in a book that came out when explicit queer rep was a pipe dream (like 2007 or something), especially in YA literature. And him getting flustered with Magnus was hilarious.

Magnus was a gem. I could immediately see why he’s a popular character.

It’s a bit of a slow book but maybe that’s just because it’s the introductory one and has to set up an entire world. I did enjoy it, though, and I’m glad I decided to check it out for myself instead of just going off everyone else’s whining.

It was very refreshing to have something other than Christianity validated, because so much of this genre heavily relies on crosses and Christian imagery, and one of the issues I’ve had in my own writing is wanting to write about angels and demons without them being Christian.

Definitely a family reveal worthy of “I am your father” but it was kind of ruined for me because I know in passing what actually happens later on. I did like how good Valentine was at emotionally manipulating Jace and how he knew exactly what to say, and I did feel for Jace even though I’m still ehhh about him.

Loved the Clary-Isabelle ending. So much better to see girls getting along and trying to navigate a girl-girl friendship than seeing them at each other’s throats for a boy. Also helped that there was nothing romantic between Isabelle and Jace.

Also like how Alec’s softened now. He really is likeable and I want to read more about him.

I liked it. It wasn’t my favourite book in the world, but it was a good introduction and I do want to keep reading, so I guess the book succeeded in its mission. I’m just bitter that I didn’t let myself get into this years ago because of internalised misogyny. Definitely going to start ‘City of Ashes’ at some point over the next few days.

#aotq babbles #the mortal instruments #city of bones #my thoughts

[llamamonger]

I have a mixed relationship with labels. I absolutely qualify to call myself aroace, asexual, aromantic, etc., no question, but I’m hesitant to “identify” with a label & probably never will use the terms irl. I am massively grateful to have found words that describe my experience, though—having language for any feeling or experience is a huge part of being able to process it, and the shorthand is helpful for talking about it, too. When I first read about asexuality, I was glad there was a nickname (ace) because I hated the idea of being defined by something I wasn’t, or by what I lacked. “Ace” and “aro” (which I learned later) don’t have to inherently mean “lack of,” so I could make peace with thinking of myself as “ace.” If I were to identify with any label, it would be aroace.

It seems like, for a lot of people, labels & their definitions become a standard or criteria to meet rather than a shorthand for their experience. I’m not in flux, and I have a pretty standard aroace experience, so I don’t worry so much about the “slippage” of a label, but there still seems to be pressure on me to “identify” with it, to internalize it & make it part of who I am. But the label isn’t who I am—the label is just the best shorthand language available to (imperfectly) communicate my experience to other people & myself. I may choose at certain times to say “I’m aroace” rather than “I have aroace feelings/experience” to save time & effort, but I don’t think I could ever embrace a label as an identity. But that aroace flag is aesthetic as hell—I would almost slap the label on me for the flag alone.

#ace #aroace #aspec #labels #asexual