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#I guess I’m gonna try to force myself to draw for like at least an hour or two now
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Meet Me In The Hallway, Chapter Five:
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pairing: frankie morales x roommate!oc (Dylan Jones)
rating: E (18+ only, feelings of inadequacy/insecurity, touch of angst, these two yearningggg, one shitty customer, oral sex (f rec), unprotected piv, creampie)
wc: 5.3k
series masterlist | frankie masterlist
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Frankie was up earlier than he’d normally be on a Saturday, the nerves of his date tonight forcing him to rise along with the sun.
Along with tonight’s plans, he also had a few meetings with a couple of potential nannies to help with taking care of Rina while her uncles were busy. Though truthfully, the thought of a stranger taking care of his daughter five days out of the week made him feel like a failure, or at the very least an absent father, just like his own.
He thought deeply about the chaotic state of his life as he sat at the patio table drinking his coffee and watching the sun rise. How could Dylan want anything to do with his mess? She knew him well enough by now to see the cracks in his foundation, to see just how better off she’d be with someone else. Someone who had their shit together.
“Someone’s up early,” Dylan’s voice sounded from the sliding glass door that led into the backyard. He turned his head quickly in her direction, offering a sincere but tired smile that made her frown as she walked over to sit beside him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just…” He took a deep breath and shrugged. “Just thinking.”
“Hopefully not overthinking,” she said, bringing her hand to smooth over his t-shirt covered back. Frankie eased into her touch as though he was a walking illness and she was the antidote.
“You know me too well,” he said, turning to smile at her. “Just thinking about how often I’m going to be gone…how it’s gonna affect Rina.”
“We’ll be here for her,” Dylan offered, smiling softly at him.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “But it’s not the same. I’ve already been so absent these last couple years. Leaving her with my mom, only seeing her on the weekends. And then now…leaving her with you guys.” He took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. “Told myself I’d never be like my dad and look at me.”
“Frankie,” Dylan cooed and frowned. She reached for his chin and guided his eyes to hers so that he could really see her as she spoke. “You’re not your dad. The fact that you’re up at five in the morning fearing becoming him is proof of that.”
Frankie gave her a pursed smile and nodded, trying his best to believe in what she was saying.
“And it’s not forever,” she added, her eyes studying the hairs beneath her fingertips as she trailed them along his jaw. “Right?”
“I mean I guess the dream is working a normal job, but…” he shrugged. “Don’t know what I’d do.”
“You can always come work for me,” she joked, earning a more wide smile.
“Oh yeah? Think I’d be any good at baking?”
Dylan nodded and shrugged before saying, “I think you’re the kind of guy that’s good at everything. All you gotta do is try.”
“Trying’s the hardest part, hermosa.” Dylan chuckled and nodded, lowering her hand from his face to his knee to give it a squeeze. “What do you have planned for today?”
“Working until four,” she replied, her eyes locked on the fabric of his khaki cargo pants beneath her fingers as she drew circles on it. “Then I’m gonna go out with this guy I’ve been crushing on for months now.”
“Months?” Dylan’s eyes lifted to Frankie’s as she smiled.
“Yeah. Ever since I met you, really.” Frankie stared at her, speechless. Though clearly he knew she was interested in him, he assumed it was a recent thing, not a months-in-the-making kind of thing. “Is that weird? You’re looking at me like it’s weird.
“No, no,” he shook his head and managed a boyish grin. “I’m just kicking myself for not making a move sooner.”
“Well…you could still make a move.” She bit her lip, drawing his eyes to her plump pout.
Frankie tended to overthink these types of things to the point of talking himself out of it, but Dylan had a way of grounding him in the present and wiping his worried mind clean like no one else he’d met before. Leaning in close, he gave her the chance to pull away from him in case he was reading things wrong, but of course, she didn’t. Her hand rested on his cheek as she closed the distance between their lips, kissing him soft and sweet and slow. So slow that when they finally pulled away from the kiss, he felt like time was moving at half-speed. All that the world consisted of for a few perfect seconds was him and her and this blossoming fondness between them, and it felt like absolute peace.
“I’m—“ Frankie started to speak but paused to shake his head in awe at her as she smiled at him like he was her favorite person in the world. “I’m so fucking into you, Dylan.”
“That’s nice, ‘cause I’m so fucking into you, too, Frankie.”
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“We’re unfortunately sold out of our triple chocolate chip right now, I apologize. But we still have our double chocolate—“
“She wants the triple,” the thirty-something year old man standing at the bakery counter with his tween daughter barked at Dylan as she stood trying to help him. “How long does it take to make a new batch?”
She chuckled in disbelief at his audacity, as if it were an easy task to go in the back, whip up a batch of cookies, bake them, all while handling the line of customers waiting behind him.
“We have the double chocolate chip and regular chocolate chip—“
“Are you hard of hearing? It’s her birthday and she wants—“ His voice was drowned out as the doorbell chimed, Frankie and Rina’s smiles instantly brightening up the store as they waved at her and stood at the end of the line. “Hello? You fucking stupid—“
Frankie’s brow furrowed at the sound of the man’s booming voice and the vulgarities that escaped with it.
“Sir, I apologize but I can’t just go make another batch. I’m the only person here, and as you can see, there’s a line of people behind you.”
“None of that is my problem. My problem is the fact that you have a sign up here advertising the cookie of the week, and there’s none left. Now, it’s my daughter’s birthday and she wants the triple—“
Dylan sighed, her eyes flickering to Frankie’s as he stood ready to intervene at any moment. “It’s going to be at least twenty minutes.”
“We’ll wait.”
Frankie must have sensed her need for an extra set of hands because not even a second later, he was rounding the corner of the counter, his hand holding Rina’s.
“Can we help?” he asked in a whisper.
Dylan hated that she needed to ask this of him, that she couldn’t even run her business properly without needing outside help, but she truly had no other option. This customer wasn’t leaving without his fucking cookie.
“Yeah,” she sighed and frowned at him. “I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to pay—“
“Shh,” he silenced her worry. “I’ll handle shit up here.”
Dylan mustered a grateful smile and nodded at him before turning to go into the back, the sound of Frankie’s voice as he helped the next customer easing the tension that ached her muscles.
In a strange way, a very tiny part of her almost wanted to thank the nasty customer for forcing her back here and inadvertently giving her a break and a chance to channel her stress and anxiety over the chaotic state of her life. Baking had always been her favorite form of therapy, the meticulous work forcing her out of her head and giving her a chance to breathe.
The only other thing that ever made her feel that way was the man out there, laughing and flirting with the old ladies who were in line just to make their day, even when by the look of him earlier that morning, he was struggling.
Dylan sighed at the memory of his exhausted face, the lines on his forehead telling a story that he couldn’t find the strength to. She yearned to see him at peace, to know for certain that all the demons and cobwebs and skeletons in his closet were gone for good, but every time she attempted to help carry the weight of his heavy load, he pulled back. He had such a way of pouring into everyone else but never allowed anyone else to fill his cup.
After the line had gone away—every customer happy, even the prick—Dylan turned the sign on her door from “open” to “closed” and locked the deadbolt with a relieved sigh.
Frankie remained by the register, Rina propped up on the counter beside it, and wore a grin on his face as Dylan slugged up to him.
“Sorry, we’re closed,” he said, pointing at the sign on the door. “Kick rocks.”
“What amazing customer service you give, Frankito,” she teased as she rounded the counter to walk over to the nearly empty display case.
“You’re doing well,” he commended, tipping his nose at the case. “Selling out is good, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” she chuckled. “It’s good. It’s also really annoying because, yeah, I’m making a lot of money, but I still don’t have enough profit to hire an actual employee. I’ve got my lease and inventory and now my second oven isn’t working so I have to replace that—“
“So much going on in that beautiful mind,” he said, interrupting her for the better. Dylan smiled shyly at the way he could see right through her and sucked in a refreshingly deep breath before exhaling it. “There you go. Now admit to yourself that you’re fuckin’ killing this shit.” He reached over and grabbed one of the day’s leftovers, an oatmeal raisin cookie that Dylan adored but everyone else seemed to loathe, and popped it in his mouth. “Because you’re fuckin’ killing this shit. This is oatmeal fucking raisin, and it’s so good.”
“No hating on oatmeal raisin in my store,” she scolded with a grin on her face. “And fine. I’m kinda killing it.”
“See, not so hard.” Dylan rolled her eyes and walked past the swinging metal doors that led to the kitchen, Frankie and Rina following behind like puppies.
“Can you teach me to make cupcakes?” Rina asked, her eyes wide as she took in the “forbidden” room with excitement. Dylan chuckled and shrugged, turning to look at Frankie with a smitten look before softening her smile for Rina.
“If your dad says so, I’d love to teach you Ri.”
Frankie seemed to swoon, his head shaking in reverence at her. “That a yes or a no?”
“It’s a yes.” There was weight in his words, or at least the way he said them. Yes, you can teach my daughter. Yes, I trust you with her. Yes, this feels right.
Rina’s squeal of excitement at the thought of getting a cupcake pierced the weight of the moment, pulling your eyes from Frankie’s but not ridding you of that smile you seemed to wear just for him.
“Kay, Ri. First we gotta put on our aprons.” Dylan walked past Frankie, her pinky brushing across his, and grabbed her well-loved apron before finding a spare for Rina. “I think it’s gonna be too big. Can you figure out a way—“
Frankie was already taking it out of her hands to fold it in half before tying it onto his very hyper daughter.
“Cool,” Dylan chuckled. “Totally would’ve thought of that eventually.”
“I’m sure you would’ve,” he huffed out a breath of laughter as he stood up and looked at her for a beat before gesturing at his body. “Where’s mine?”
“Oh,” she laughed. “I didn’t think you’d want to help.”
“You kidding? A masterclass from the cupcake god for free?” She rolled her eyes at his flattery and giggled before grabbing him an apron, the sight of him putting it on and wearing it doing more for her than she thought it would. With heated cheeks, she turned to Rina.
“What kind do you wanna make?”
“Strawberry and lemon and whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles.” Dylan and Frankie shared an impressed look.
“Sounds like you’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Dylan joked before moving to grab everything she’d need to make this little girl’s dream come true.
“Yeah, I think about cupcakes every day,” Rina said.
“Same,” Frankie agreed under his breath, unintentionally widening Dylan’s already aching grin.
“Maybe you’ll be a baker one day,” Dylan replied, nudging the little girl playfully.
“Daddy, can I be a baker like Dyllie?” she asked, looking up at her father who stood on her other side.
“Course you can, baby. Anything you wanna be, you can.” He combed his hand over her forehead. “Besides, if you become a baker, I’ll get to have all the leftovers, right?”
“You can have one,” she held up her little finger.
“Only one?”
“Yeah,” she nodded as though her word was final, and Frankie laughed because truthfully, it was.
“Fine, only one.”
“Dyllie gets two.”
“What? How come she gets two and I get one?”
“Because she taught me.”
Dylan and Frankie looked at each other with the same adoring frown at the little girl’s words.
“That’s a very good point, Ri,” he said. “Dylan deserves two.”
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By the time Dylan made it back to the house—Frankie and Rina had one last meeting with a potential nanny—it was six o’clock, leaving Dylan only an hour to shower and get ready for their dinner and a movie drive-in date that she’d been nervously awaiting all day.
“Hey,” Lennon called from the sofa as she laid with Benny in their usual spot.
“Hey,” Dylan greeted, kicking her shoes off by the door before walking over. “Where’s everybody?”
“Frankie and Rina are out, Pope’s over at Imelda’s tonight, and Will and Cass went to Orlando to visit her parents,” Benny answered. “You guys just wanna order pizza or something?”
“Actually…” Dylan bit her lip as Lennon quirked her brow at her in interest. “Frankie and I are going out tonight.”
“Out?” Benny repeated in a chuckle. “As in a date?”
“Yeah,” Lennon added.
“Yeah,” Dylan nodded. “Going to a drive-in.”
“So 1950’s of you,” Lennon teased. “You nervous?”
“A little,” she shrugged. “Just because if all of this doesn’t work out, I’m going to have a very awkward living arrangement.”
“Don’t be nervous,” Benny chuckled, turning to look at his roommate. “That boy is in love with you.”
“Babe,” Lennon scolded, swatting his chest. “Gonna scare her off.”
“How?” he laughed.
“Because we’re wounded orphans who are scared of love,” she replied, making Dylan chuckle.
“You said it easy enough,” he retorted.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” she grinned back.
“Anyways,” Dylan stood up as Lennon leaned in to kiss her boyfriend. “I’m gonna go get ready.”
“Make sure to shave!” Lennon called.
“Shut up,” she called back with a smile.
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Frankie was a nervous mess as he waited for Dylan to make her way out of her bedroom. Benny and Lennon were already playing babysitter for the night, keeping Rina entertained with a showing of Finding Nemo and pizza, the three of them a stark contrast to Frankie who paced around in the same room as them.
“Jesus,” Benny teased after five minutes of watching his friend. “Sit down, I’m begging you.”
“Yeah, daddy,” Rina joined in, patting the seat beside her on the sectional. “Sit down, you’re ruining the movie.”
“Alright,” he managed, taking the seat offered to him.
“Nervous?” Lennon asked between bites.
“Just—“ he shrugged. “Just want things to go well.”
“He’s actually sweating,” Benny teased, pointing at Frankie’s face. “Chill out, man.”
“That’s very helpful, Ben, thanks. That really puts the mind at ease—“ Frankie’s rant was interrupted by the sound of Dylan’s door clicking open. He stood up and smiled at her through his nerves, the sight of her in a light sundress, her hair in waves, and her makeup done up in a way that made her literally glow commanding his full focus now.
“Sorry I took so long,” she said, fidgeting with her bracelet. Frankie let out the breath he seemed to be holding since he asked her out and chuckled.
“Don’t apologize, you look—“
Giggles sounding from the couch made him roll his eyes and save his compliment for the car.
“How about we head out?” Dylan suggested, just as embarrassed by their audience as he was. Frankie nodded and gave a kiss to the top of Rina’s head before walking out of the house with Dylan leading the way.
Now that there was no one to tease them, Frankie felt more at ease openly eyeing her as he walked her to his old truck.
“You look so good.” Dylan instantly flushed at the compliment, that bashful smile that made him fall for her growing on her face.
“Look who’s talking,” she replied, tugging on the hem of the loose button down he was wearing. “Getting all dressed up for me.”
“Haven’t dressed this nice in years,” he laughed, nervously running his hand over his chest before doing the same to his hair. “Feels weird not wearing my hat.”
“You can go put it on,” she offered, reaching her own hand up to twirl one of his waves around her finger. “But I like you like this, too.”
Frankie let out a shaky chuckle as she combed her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp at the nape of his neck.
“I’ll keep it off,” he said, low and flustered. “Since you like it.”
She smirked at him as she let her hand fall back to her side so that she could open the passenger door.
“Wait—“ Frankie gently shoved her hand away from the door handle so that he could open it for her, earning a playful eye roll. “Gotta pull out all the stops.”
“I don’t know,” she giggled and climbed into her seat. “Your competition is a dude who honked his horn at me to pick me up.” Frankie shook his head and sighed.
“What a cunt.”
“Total cunt.”
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Dylan couldn’t stop picking at her nails the entire ride to the drive-in, even when conversation flowed naturally between them. It wasn’t this part that she was nervous about—they were good friends, best friends if she really thought about it, and they’d always have a good time together hanging out. But when she began to think about what would hopefully come after, her stomach stormed with insecurity and anxiety.
What if she was so rusty that it turned him off? Or, a much crueler thought, what if he changed his mind after finally getting her out of his system?
“They’ve got really good burgers here,” Frankie spoke up as they arrived at the drive-in, breaking her out of her hypotheticals. “I always get the cowboy one. It’s got like barbecue sauce and these fried onion things—“
“Could you—“ Dylan paused after interrupting him, debating the sanity behind her request before settling on asking anyway. “Could you kiss me?”
Frankie turned to her with a confused smile as they sat in a line of cars buying their tickets.
“I just—I’m so fucking nervous and I need to, I don’t know, be…grounded? Sounds stupid when I say it out lou—“
Frankie’s lips pressing against hers forced her to shut up and just feel. Feel him, feel that this was happening, feel just how nervous he was himself.
When he pulled away, his lips still parted from the kiss and eyes lidded with desire, Dylan felt like she could finally breathe. Chuckling at the worry that consumed her just minutes before, she bit her lip and smiled at him.
“Thank you,” she said.
Frankie parted his lips to speak but a honk alerted him to the fact that he’d been holding up the line. Facing forward, Frankie tried to control his blush as he pulled forward and paid for the tickets before driving into the giant parking lot.
“Hope you don’t mind our shitty view,” he sighed, realizing that they should’ve come earlier as all the best spots were already taken.
“I don’t mind,” she shrugged, turning her head to look at him to find him already staring. “I have a nice view of all I want to see.”
“Cheesy,” he teased, making her eyes roll, her hand reaching over to swat his arm. “I’m into cheesy.”
“Speaking of cheese, my stomach is growling.”
“Come on,” he chuckled and swung his door open. Before he could make it around to open Dylan’s door, she was already standing and smoothing out her dress. “I’m supposed to do that for you.”
“Fix the wrinkles in my dress?”
“Open your door,” he corrected with a breath of a laugh. “Chivalry and all.”
“You fingered me in a dive bar,” she retorted. “I think we’re beyond chivalry.”
“Guess you’re right,” he smirked to himself. “Can’t believe I did that.”
“Well you did, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.” Frankie shook his head and sighed as he reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers together as they walked.
“You’re gonna kill me if you keep saying shit like that.” Dylan looked over at him with a smirk, proud of the blush her words formed on his cheeks. He turned to her, letting out a laugh at the look on her face, and gave her hand a squeeze. “At least it’ll be a happy death.”
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Frankie was glad he picked a movie he’d already seen before because, for the life of him, he just couldn’t take his eyes off Dylan. She sat in the passenger seat, switching between her box of sour patch kids and the bucket of popcorn seated on her lap.
“Can I have some?” he asked, watching as her eyes turned to meet his, the giant projector screen casting a colorful glow over their faces.
“Of?” she asked, a smirk growing as she flickered her eyes to his lips.
“Not fair,” he chuckled and grabbed the bucket out of her lap. “There’s still an hour left in the movie. Don’t torture me.”
“Let’s go, then,” she suggested, biting her lip as she turned her entire body in her seat.
Frankie laughed. “Really?”
“Really,” she nodded, scooting across the bench seat to rest her hand on his thigh. “I’m done waiting.” Her hand crept upwards, sliding over his jean clad thigh until her fingers were dancing towards the faint outline tenting the denim. “I’ve been patient. Let you take me out, treat me like a lady…but now—“ Frankie gasped as she pressed her hand against him, his brows screwed together in pleasure. “Now I want you.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, lifting his hands to cup both sides of her face and pull her in for a searing kiss, the kind that left them panting and breathless when he pulled away. “Put your seatbelt on.”
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Dylan gasped as Frankie pinned her against the closed passenger door, one hand gripping her hip and the other cradling her jaw as he kissed the breath from her lungs. They’d barely made it to the driveway, their wandering hands and excitement causing Frankie to swerve on more than one occasion.
“I want you so bad,” she breathed out against his lips as she hugged his neck to keep him close. Frankie groaned at the confession and pressed himself against her even more to relieve the building ache of his arousal.
“Gotta make sure Rina’s in bed,” he replied, resting his forehead against hers as he attempted to calm his rapid breathing. Dylan let her hand rest on his face before tilting it back so that he was meeting her eyes. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”
“I’ll wait for you in my bedroom?” she asked.
“Okay,” he nodded, kissing her once more before pulling away so that they could head inside.
As expected, Benny and Lauren were still awake and in the middle of a makeout when Dylan and Frankie entered the house. Frankie cleared his throat, drawing Benny’s attention.
“Hey,” he greeted the two of them with a wide smile. “Go well?”
Dylan excused herself from the awkward interaction with a soft breath of a laugh, retreating back to her bedroom to mentally hype herself up for what was to come.
She quickly freshened herself up, applying more deodorant and popping a piece of mint gum in her mouth before hurrying into her dresser to find a lingerie set she’d purchased a year ago on a whim but never wore. She bit her lip as she found the yellow lace corset set before hurrying to exchange her plain bra and thong for its sexier counterpart. Lastly, she gave her neck and wrists a spritz of perfume, then walked over to the full length mirror in the corner of her room to examine herself one final time.
“Alright, she’s aslee—“ Frankie let himself in without knocking, catching Dylan as she stood with her back turned to him, watching him through the mirror. “Jesus—“ He quickly shut the door before making his way over to her, his hands almost trembling as they rested on her hips. “You’re insane.”
“Why do you say that?” she laughed.
“Because you���re so out of my league, it’s ridiculous. When’s the last time you got your vision checked?” Dylan rolled her eyes and swatted his thigh to scold him for being so self critical.
“You’re beautiful, Frankie,” she said, turning in his arms to face him, one hand burying in his mess of waves while the other rested on his cheek. “Those eyes. Your nose. Your lips. This little patch in your beard.” She leaned in to place a kiss there. “S’all beautiful.”
Frankie kissed her, wet and slow and maddening, holding her frame against his as he backed himself against the foot of the bed before pulling her onto his lap. Dylan broke the kiss to reach in between them and undo his belt, pulling a moan out of him when her knuckles brushed over his length.
“We have to be quiet,” he groaned as though the fact physically pained him. “Fucking hate that.”
“We should get a hotel room next time,” she half-joked with a smirk as she popped the button on his jeans and tugged the zipper down.
Frankie stood up, guiding Dylan to lay back against the mattress as he stood between her thighs at the foot of the bed. He undid the buttons of his shirt as quickly as he could manage with the shaking of his hands as he watched Dylan cup her lace covered breasts, squeezing them together just to put on a show for him.
“So fucking—god,” he chuckled. “You’re turning me stupid.”
She giggled and opened her legs for him, showing him the damp spot on her panties just to torture him all the more.
“Fuck it,” he abandoned shucking his jeans off in favor of dropping to his knees and pulling her panties to the side so that he could get a taste of her, pulling a loud gasp from Dylan that had Frankie raising an eyebrow at her. “You want everybody to hear, baby?”
“Just feels good,” she hushed her moans so that only he could hear, her fingers burying in his hair to pull his tongue back to her clit. Frankie smiled as he dived back in, working her over and over until her toes were curling and fingers were clawing at his scalp. “Frankie, shit.”
“Tastes so fucking good, baby,” he moaned against her cunt, his fingers gripping her thighs to keep them open as they tried to clamp shut around his head.
“Frankie,” she whined, her head rolling against the mattress. “I’m going to—“
“Fuck yes,” he slid his finger inside of her and curled up until she came undone around him, her thighs shaking and clamping around his ears as she tried to hold in the sounds of her climax. He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh as he watched her chest heave with pride.
“Frankie,” she called, reaching for his arm to tug him up her body until he was hovering over her. “I want you.”
“Yeah?” he asked, desperate and reverent. When Dylan nodded, he quickly tugged his jeans and briefs down just enough to free his cock, letting it slap against her swollen cunt.
“Shit,” Dylan gasped as she looked down between their bodies to admire his cock. “Only makes sense you’ve got the world’s prettiest dick.”
Frankie laughed and shook his head at her, grinning as he leaned down to kiss her. Dylan reached down and positioned his cock at her entrance, rubbing the tip over her slick before urging him with her ankles digging into his lower back to put it in.
“Fuck,” he groaned, swallowing down her moan as he slowly slid inside of her. “Not gonna last long, baby.”
“You feel so good,” she whined, her arms reaching to wrap around his broad shoulders as he fucked her like he was making love to her, slow and sensual.
“Baby, fuck,” he moaned into her ear. “I’m gonna fucking cum. Where—“
“Inside me,” she begged, linking her ankles around his waist to keep him close. Frankie buried his face in her neck, his fingers clawing at the bedspread as he fucked her with more purpose now, the burn of his size mixing with the blinding pleasure to make her see stars.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck—“ Frankie pumped his hips once, twice, and then pressed himself deep inside her, crumbling into her arms and onto her chest as he filled her up. Dylan couldn’t be bothered to care that she hadn’t come a second time, not when he did such a good job with the first one.
“Fuck, that was—“
“Mindshattering?” he interrupted, lifting his head to give her a pleasure drunk smile. Dylan laughed and nodded, accepting the kiss he left on her chin with a wide stretched smile on.
“Well worth the wait,” she said, moving with him as he rolled off of her and onto his side. “You’re very talented with your tongue, you know that?”
“I’ve always been a big fan,” he admitted with a boyish smile. “But you…” he pulled her tight to his body, smoothing his hand across her back until he was squeezing her ass. “You’re gonna turn me into an addict. So fucking sweet.”
“Can’t wait to repay the favor,” she smiled, leaning in for a kiss only to get interrupted by soft knocking on the door and Rina’s small voice.
“Shit,” he sighed, raking a hand over her face. “She gets these nightmares—“
“No, I understand,” Dylan let him climb out of bed before sliding under her bedsheets to cover her body while Frankie changed back into his clothes at the foot of the bed.
“I’ll try to sneak back over once I get her back to sleep?” he asked as he finished buttoning his shirt, walking over to give Dylan a soft peck.
“Sounds good, but if she needs you tonight, it’s okay,” she assured, earning an adoring smile from Frankie.
“I—“ Dylan held her breath as she watched him stop himself from saying the three words that played on the tip of her own tongue. “I like you, Jones.”
Chuckling, she reached up and pinched his chin. “I like you too, Morales.”
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whereismyhat5678 · 10 months
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(I did some of the writing yesterday so the pictures may look darker than others!!)
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while <:(
I’ve been just doing my own thing and I haven’t had that much motivation to draw, but to pass the time I’ve been playing a lot of ANTONBALL! <x)
So I’m just gonna rant about how ANTONBALL’s been like-
Also:
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This’ll be a long one so if you don’t want to read that much it’s fine <:]
So let’s get started! So, I beat world 3 right? I did! And to be honest it didn’t take that long!! It was actually really fun, and as much as I thought the ice flooring was gonna be a problem-
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-it wasn’t to bad! And I’m pretty proud of myself for finishing it so fast :D
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I guess the only problem I had with it was the…..
The….
T H E M O L E S…….
But we’ll get to them eventually ;]
(In the future at least-)
After I was done with world 3 I moved to world 4, and that’s when I took a break for a bit because, well- I started the first level for world 4, and um-
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Well- it was- a bit overwhelming- 😀
As much as it looks to be not as bad it really wasn’t. At least for me. This first level hit hard for no reason and I didn’t like it one bit. This level does not bring me any sort of joy what so ever. I hate it.
But I beat it eventually so it’s not as bad now, it’s just the fact that sometimes- I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT POSITION I’M SUPPOSED TO BE IN?? Like where am I supposed to go huh???? It seriously is very difficult for me >:(
The only thing saving it afterwards was this level-
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Now I know what people say- it’s the fact the game was so cruel to add PITS. But y’know what? They aren’t so bad! I just stay in the corner and pray to god that I don’t accidentally move my joy stick the wrong way- 😀 I just imagine they aren’t even there!
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Now level 3 is a hard one, y’know why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE THESE-
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I HATE THESE- THESE ARE LITERALLY TERRIFYING WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA???????
These are like those platforms that FORCE YOU to try and not stand on and just KEEP RUNNING. They are treadmills that are really fast for now reason and I HATE THEM. Every time I slipped off I had to RUN FOR MY LIFE JUST TO GET BACK ON THE SAFE PLATFORM ON TOP-
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I DIDN’T THINK THIS GAME WOULD MAKE MY HEART RACE AS MUCH AS IT DID BUT OH BOY DID IT- 😃
After that little fiasco, you could imagine that level 4 and 5 were hard right? Well- I mean I got used to them 🤷‍♀️
Forth one really wasn’t that bad, the only problem that occurred for me was the fact that the back part had a HUGE HOLE and the balls were easily able to go in, so any time I slipped up I always felt like an idiot-
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Now Level 5 was a bit nerve racking because of how low my health was at that point but I BARELY made it with one heart left- And honestly it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be! Every time I made some sort of progress the wall behind it pushed it towards me (which scared me a bit each time), and it surprisingly helped(??). The one thing that irritated me though was that the ball couldn’t hit THE FRICKEN BOTTOM BLOCKS so I had to use the gun BEFOREHAND to get rid of them so it wouldn’t be much of a problem later. It took a toll one me. 🙂
Other than THAT. I finished world 4. And it was “fun” 😀🔫 At least the second level for me. I’m still currently cracking at World 5 and since I don’t have enough space for my complaints on that one, I’ll do a separate post for it when I’m done. I still want to illustrate sketches 😅
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I again am sorry for my absence <:]
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johngravessimcoe · 9 months
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a bit of a downer post but just more of the same shit. Read it if you want or don’t, here’s a tldr if you don’t want to read it
TLDR: i am getting really sick of myself so in order to Stop being sick of myself i’m gonna start queueing memes and things so i can force myself to write simcoe whether i like it or not. if he’s gonna be a curse upon you i will make him a curse upon me
anyway…
Hi, ik i haven’t been active at all and i’m sure you guys know why by now and are probably sick of hearing the same shit over and over.
I’m gonna be honest, this account (and honestly rping in general) gives me some really intense anxiety every time i want to try and post something because i always feel like my interpretation is wrong, or my writing is bad, or someone else writes him better, or i don’t reply fast enough, etc etc to the point where i’ve really just stopped rping as a whole.
And i reallt, Really hate that. RPing is a hobby i’ve had for as long as i’ve been drawing, which is like… six or seven years since i’ve decided to take it seriously? I hate that i’m chasing myself out of what i like to do because of stupid arbitrary bullshit i put on myself and i hate not being around as much as I want to be, even if I’m usually just a message away (talk about being chronically online!). I will say some of this has been the fact that my work shifts are usually like… 11 hours long so naturally that doesn’t leave much room for writing, but the bulk of it is anxiety bullshit. I can’t do . Anything. I literally cannot do anything.
I guess i’m burned out? Maybe? I’m burned out of being burned out. I want to be around and write with you guys and make stupid bad posts and chat about your ocs. I REALLY want to learn about your ocs -_-; that’s something i’m missing out a lot on.
Luckily (or unluckily? Please tell me you hate how i write simcoe so i’ll be inclined to write him more.) i’m not going on a hiatus or anything, i don’t think i can do that xD. I’m gonna try to start actually using the queue and post memes every now and then so i can at least have some outside motivation to write. Idk how often I’ll be posting memes but it should be at least twice a week, maybe a bit more. I don’t want this blog to add to the pile of inactive simcoe rp accs, that would break my heart. So i’m gonna try this approach.
Thanks for reading this if you do. Sorry for the depressing bs, i just need to get this down in a post. I think i’ll also be seriously downgrading my writing and making it uber shitty bc otherwise i just will not get anything done. Ty for understanding and dealing with me :)
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^ he is my mascot because it’s convenient don’t question it
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shandycandy278 · 8 months
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dya have any tips of getting out of writing rumps (is that the term?)
im currently not stuck, but demotivated to write the introduction to this chapter im working on. i feel like if i get past this, itll be smooth sailing, but i dont want to write the part that comes after before the part that comes before because things might change as i write the before part.
To be honest, I lump this in with writer’s blocks. Mostly because this is the most common block I experience!
If you could JUST get past this one bit you don’t want to write, everything will fall into place. Or at least, that’s what it feels like.
But for me personally, if I try to force myself past it, it makes the next part harder to write. Followed by the one after that, and then the one after that… it doesn’t feel like there’s an end. And maybe you feel bad for not updating for ages. I know I do sometimes. But I’m gonna let you in on something-
It’s so much easier to write that next part if you sit and wait.
Maybe write some drabbles. Something that isn’t related to the work at hand, something small. Nothing big. Maybe it could just be some character quotes, maybe a poem. But I find that if I sit and wait it out, while thinking about it in the “I’m not going to write it right now” mentality, it becomes easier when my brain switches back into the “we’re writing it right now” mentality.
We write for fun. For our own entertainment. We willingly share it with others so that they can take part in it, too. Forcing ourselves to write when we don’t want to write is destructive and will make things worse. Sometimes you need to take that break. It’s something I had to learn the hard way, but I fully embrace it now because I know that when I do get in the writing mood, I write often enough that I can get a chapter out every other day.
It’s coming. You just have to keep your fingers warm while you wait. And it might be hard, and you might be frustrated, but CHOOSING to wait for it and sticking with it and knowing that waiting is your current plan is better than planning to force yourself to write it and then… not writing it. For me, that worsens my mental health horribly. As long as I get a sentence or two down when I sit down to look over it- for ANY work- it’s okay.
So I guess in short- just take it one step at a time. Be patient. Do your best to not worry or stress about it, because at heart we are writers. And when we want to write, we will write masterpieces.
Note: this applies for artists too I’m pretty sure! Just do a few small doodles every now and then, or just draw a weird kamoji you saw.
Second note: this method won’t work for everyone, or people might disagree with my methods. This is just something that I’ve found that works for me.
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flaringfoxsoul03 · 1 year
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Hi there Writer, can I ask some Match up Romantic Obey me? Ofc if it's okay to you
How should I started, well.
know myself actually but it's hard to describe it, I'm a Female She/Her pronouns Demisexual INTJ-T. I'm a quiet person and rarely talk but somehow I can make people befriend me easily, maybe because everyone says I'm "Cold outside but warm inside" I guess??? I'm also an ambivert who tends to be more extrovert actually, I'm not easy to get comfortable with new people but I think I'm a friendly person because in my hometown Being friendly and polite is a bridge of socialization and it's already in my bloodblood. I sometimes feel bad for someone even though I know it wasn't my fault when I got into a fight and when I get angry I just stay quiet and don't react much maybe I'll just give them the cold shoulder or at least try not to be seen with them.
the place I hate the most when I hang out is hiking. I got lost and almost died (obviously I don't want to experience that again) and my Favorite Place to Hang out is Cinema and My house. I really like drawing and I often draw my daily life on my tablet like a diary (my hands are fine-)
My love language is quality time, I know I may not be a talkative person but spending time with someone special is what makes me want to talk a lot, i might be the silent jealous type, not because I don't want to admit it but maybe because it's not my right to forbid my partner from interacting with anyone (I will stare at the person who is the reason I'm jealous). I'm also not the type of person who believes in "love at first sight", maybe other people feel it but not me
a little information about my appearance: I am about 176 cm tall. My hair is short Platinum blonde (dye), and black eyes and Oliver skin
Things I like : Flowers, Books, Rabbits, Spicy and sour food (but I'm not a picky eater), Going out or staying at home, Coffee, Drawing, and the color white
Things I hate : Lizard, smoke, Ghost, Horror game and movie ( I'm a scared cat ok-)
I'm sorry if it's too long and feel free to ignore this if you want to, and thanks if you read this. I'll see you soon
You are literally too sweet for words. Nothing can describe you accurately in the amount of sweetness and kindness you possess. Yet ever so valiant of the human traditions of pain and suffering. Even demons would be initially blinded in your radiance, mistaking you for the Virtue of Kindness. I’m not kidding, you are giving me a lot to work with. Let’s see if I can put my work up to the test…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I match you with…
Mammon!
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——————————
Look, he is called a scumbag a lot, but he’s different with you. You both met under unfortunate circumstances and got forced into a very difficult situation to navigate, but you both figured it out slowly and like every slowburn romance novel that Satan reads, you fell for each other faster than Lucifer has even seen with Lilith back when they were still angels in the Celestial Realm
Now, it seems odd to put you guys together, but trust me, this works really well. He’s the voice when you’re the words, you fit together so well and would be totally lost without the other, no structure or flow to have anything go smoothly. You, the eye of the storm and he, the raging turbulence protecting you. He’s your first demon, he ain’t letting you go and he’s hoping you won’t let go of him either
Speaking of which, this demon has also raised a very angry creature. He gets angry and its many types, so when he sees you giving the cold shoulder to everyone and being way quieter? Bet on it that shit is gonna turn around real fast. He’ll offer to spend time with him on whatever sounds good in the moment. Whether it be homework, a joyride, or even just cuddling together, bet on it that he’s gonna convince you to be together alone for as long as it takes you to finally break and talk to him. He’s not even trying to talk over you either, he wholeheartedly listens to every little detail you’ll spare him. You deserve to be heard, you should know that better than anyone since you listen to him all the time
Will never actively let you walk by yourself when on a hike, let alone consider the idea of going on one if you’re not totally over the whole near death experience. While he does wanna show you the secret little places he’s found, he knows that you’re not for hikes, especially since you informed him of your last traumatic hike experience. He’s conflicted, he knows pictures will do it no justice, but at the same time he’s worried he’s never going to be able to show you some places he treasures and wants to share it with you. Please help him come to a decision already
Will immediately spend tons of Grimm he’s managed to save up to turn his room into a movie theater from home. He does get the appeal of the cinemas, but why not be able to have it all to yourself when you don’t feel like being sociable? He thinks this is a grand idea, Lucifer is less thrilled with the charges that Mammon has managed to rack up ever since learning your love for the cinemas
Will absolutely try to test your tastebuds against the Devildom’s spicy levels of food. He’s ridiculous and he needs to get that energy out somehow, eating spicy helps him stay at maintained levels of goofiness. He really does love it when you scarf down your food and on top of that be able to handle it? Super hot, literally and figuratively. Even when you can’t handle the heat, you both have a good laugh about it anyways. No shame in spice!
Has great relief that you are never willing to watch horror movies. As much as he claims otherwise, he’s terrified of the movies as he just gets so invested into it, he feels as though he’s part of the movie itself. That’s why he’s so scared of them, even if he knows it’s not real. He’s much more of a Fantasy, Action, and Adventure genres are more his type of movies. But minus the horror? He’s down to watch anything with you, no matter if it’s at the cinemas or in his room
Even if you seem like the opposite couple doomed to fail to everyone else, your relationship with Mammon is of energy balancing acts. If it fails, it’s hilarious at the end usually. If it succeeds, it’s a marvelous accomplishment in your guys’s relationship to be able to do a new thing without getting hurt for it. Sure there’s a few more bumps here and there, but he will never not be by your side
=================
The follow ups are:
Asmodeus
And
Leviathan
===================
That’s it folks, until next time!
~Fox
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themeanpea · 1 year
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Ah shit here we go again-
I told myself I would stop writing long emotional inner ramblings to the void of the internet, but um…new year old me I guess. Well technically it’s not the new year yet but time is an illusion, tear it apart.
I’ve been putting off reflecting on my relationship with art and drawing and work and life and blah - but seeing as things are coming to a volcanic peak irl (or at least, it feels so in my head, but then again I react to stress badly), I decided I might as well take the leap of returning to tumblr while also forcing myself to finally, finally - reflect.
Why have I been putting off reflecting? Because it’s easier to just come home from work and blast my brain juice out with YouTube and podcasts. Real life problems don’t exist when you have liquid content coursing through your veins at all times. Facts.
Anyways here we go…strap on in if you’re interested in the epic saga of millennial mundanity - artist version:
The past few months have been pretty tough art-wise. I lost a lot of confidence in my art, and posting to the great wide world waiting for people to respond wasn’t helping. Yes I know that sounds naive, and I hate admitting this because it makes me feel vulnerable but it’s true - I was seeking that validation. Why? I don’t know. I guess I was excited to share my art with others and it was tough to swallow when no one responded. I don’t think I was seeking compliments so much as interaction - Ig I kinda wanted an art community but social media wasn’t giving it to me. And I know it’s wrong now but I thought that creating good art was how I gained that artist acceptance. And when my art was ignored I thought it was a silent pass of judgment, “You’re not good enough yet to join the inner circle”. I know this sounds dramatic and over-the-top but I’m just really trying to figure out why it was affecting me so much - it must have seemed that bad to me even though it really wasn’t (story of my life lmao).
Anyway, I had taken a 6 year break from art previously (not gonna go into it but it was due to school and life, not anything related to social media), I was making drawings maybe 3-4 times a year? Barely anything. My art skills stagnated tremendously, and I was at that point in the art curve where I couldn’t even realize how weak my art was - and frankly all I cared about was churning out fanart like a little goblin lmao. That’s all fine btw, to each their own - but looking back on my non-existent progress, I felt dissatisfied. I wanted to see progress in my art, and I listened to a lot of YouTube talks by Industry Experts TM - but wait! Their advice was not trite and profit-oriented, they gave really, really motivational talks - about why they pursued art, and how you could improve, and why it would be worth it. I was honestly really touched by the talks that I watched, and it inspired me to work on my art to create the worlds that I wanted to create, and visualize the stories that I saw in my head. Also, I just really like aesthetics and pretty stuff.
Social media was draining me like - exhausting and felt like a total chore. I just wanted to draw, I didn’t want to post and be judged. I conducted a thought experiment - if I could either have bad art and have a huge social media following, or good art and a non-existent social media following - which one would I choose? I knew the answer was the latter hands down, so I decided to just stop posting to social media.
In the meantime, I’d also signed up for an online art class, bought more art books, and started practicing the fundamentals and doing homework from the online course. I didn’t even think about posting or anything of the sort, and I was the happiest I had been while doing art in a long time. The online course was amazing - I loved the assignments and homework and the feeling of being in school again and being guided by a teacher who could critique my work. I never learned art professionally and I felt like I was larping as an art student lmao (No hogwarts halls tho, just my ipad on a standing desk in my bedroom :D). I was really going through a low-confidence + low-motivation patch around the same time that the course started, and honestly having weekly structured assignments to do was a life-saver. I didn’t feel inspired to draw anything of my own because my skills were at a level that meant they never came out the way I wanted them to look. I was very insecure about my rendering ability, and the more I looked at my human faces the wonkier they got. I wanted to table-flip so bad but the standing desk is heavy af. So to be forced to paint greyscale bargue plates and map out black-and-white silhouettes…honestly it was boring at times, but it was something very new to me and it gave me something to do to feel like I was improving in art. I mean maybe I wasn’t but hey we got feedback from our mentors and were told how it could help us to improve. I knew nothing about values except the bare basics, so I was happy to just do a shit ton of greyscale stuff tbvh - it gave me the illusion of improvement at the very least.
The thing is…I think the course really did help me to improve. I was amazed at this realisation myself since I couldn’t figure out how drawing moustachioed old men in greyscale could help me to draw cute anime boys in color, but somehow it did?? Wild I know. Which is why I’m swearing up, down, left, right, sideways, frontways, and back on practicing the fundamentals now. Most importantly, 3D form and structure!! It’s a must. The weirdest feeling ever was that painting with awareness of the 3D form actually helped to improve my drawing as well. Dear lord I could write an entire essay about the importance of learning the 3D form so I’ll stop here for now. But 3D form, shape language, structure. So, so, so freaking important.
Wow I went on a tangent. So anyway, when I focused on the art again - taking the course, doing assignments, reading art books, scrolling through pinterest - and blocked out social media, I was the happiest I had ever been art-wise. Negative feelings - all-time low. Even when I sucked it felt ok because I didn’t have any pressure to share my art! I was literally just drawing for my own eyes (and for my partner - who is super lovely and supportive). And yeah, I don’t know - it made me realize again why I wanted to do art. Because I love creating, even if it’s just for one person, even if it’s just for myself, I’m a creator. I’ll draw and write about worlds and characters that no one will ever know about, and I really don’t mind. I mean if someone’s interested I don’t mind sharing, but I really, really don’t mind just doing it for myself as well. But I want to be proud of the work I do. When I draw my characters, I want them to look the way I see them in my head. When I see the greats, I want to be able to draw like them, render like them - not because I want the adoration or fans, but because…it’s inspiring. And also I often feel my favourite content is in my head, so I have to like…get it out to enjoy it myself lol. I’m the producer and the consumer. I’m used to shipping rarepairs and writing fics for myself and the one other person in the community lol. Like I didn’t care who saw my ship art, I just needed to create it, damn it. And I feel the same way for my OCs too - I needed to do them justice by bringing them to the life the way I envisioned them, not…flat faces and wonky smiles.
Anyway, I’m not sure where this post is going or if it’s going anywhere, but I felt like I needed to force myself to reflect on my art journey and question…why do I draw? Because if I don’t figure out why…then what will come of it? No end goal in sight or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I think if something makes you happy you shouldn’t need an end-goal, and that’s what I’ve been doing thus far tbvh. I just draw - no thoughts, head empty, just draw and listen to podcasts and chill. But lately as I open myself up to others, as I come under more scrutiny for what I do in my free time, as people get genuinely curious to see the stuff I’ve been doing and perhaps question why I spend all my weekends locked away in my room…I start to feel a need to come to terms with what I draw. I’m not revealing the full story here but tl;dr I’ve been…procrastinating on something huge, to say the least, and I’ve just thrown myself full-fledge into drawing with even more intensity than ever. And that’s when I realized:
I draw to escape. Escapism. It all makes sense. It’s not limited to just OCs, though OCs are the easiest way to build an escapist world since you get to control all the variables. You can do it via fandoms too, e.g. fanart, fanfics. I used to feel guilty for indulging in this escapism, a day-dreamer. And now I guess that lingering guilt is still there - I should be doing Real Adult Things TM, but instead I procrastinate by drawing and working on my art. Because if I can’t control the real world…at least I can control the one that I literally crafted from scratch? If I think too hard about where my own life is going, it scares me - so full of uncertainty and I don’t have protagonist protection - anything could happen. But my OCs, they’re safe. Even through all the fictional tragedy and romance and drama, they end up ok because as the creator, I said so. And their world is beautiful, aesthetic (tbh I’m still rly bad at drawing environments but it’s on my goals list for 2023!), I don’t feel the same way about my world. At least not right now. Hopefully things will change.
And I need to tell myself - escapism is a good goal to have. I don’t know where I would be without escapism - without tales of heroics and drama and problematic faves and ships. Without purely fictional fun to laugh and talk about with friends, to wonder and expand on while doing the mundanity of everyday tasks. And If I’m working towards making that escapism even better day by day, to make my visual storytelling even more immersive, my aesthetics even more attention-grabbing, to bring you away from the troubles of real life and into this fictional world that I created to make myself feel better first, and hopefully others can share in that joy as well…maybe that’s a good goal to have. That’s something I shouldn’t shy away from sharing or feel ashamed to admit that as a 25 year old adult, I’m locked up in my room on the weekends to keep working on my craft towards the goal of enhanced immersive escapism.
There’s no conclusion to this thesis lol. So…back to drawing! 👾
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99lostsouls · 1 year
Note
To my new pen pal;
Hi there! Season’s greetings has come around and given me your name to write to. I don’t normally write letters, so this might look a bit messy. Sorry.
How’s living in the haunted house? The ghosts are friendly enough if they’re not trying to mess with you. Kinda wish they fixed this place up before forcing all of us in here… but I guess we can make do with what we’ve got, right?
I guess if I’m gonna be writing letters to you, I might as well tell you a little about myself. That’s what pen pals do, apparently. For starters, I get cold very easily. I promise this isn’t just me complaining about the cold, it’s quite well-known about me. I only really eat snacks, so I never really have to worry about cooking anything here. That looks like a nightmare with the kitchen as it is. But I really like homecooked meals too. Hopefully the upcoming holiday will actually let us all sit down together for something like that. Fingers crossed.
You don’t have to write back with facts about yourself if you don’t want to. But, I am gonna ask you to write back an answer for this one question; any ideas what you would like for the holidays? Pen pals normally send gifts and stuff, but since I don’t know much about you, I’m not quite sure what to give you… so, why not tell me yourself and I’ll see what I can do when the time comes? Hope to hear back from you soon!
From your mystery pen pal
Dear mystery pen pal,
Hello! there's absolutely no need to apologize, I rarely write either. It's an unfamiliar experience, I find it exciting! I hope you do enjoy the process as well.
Ramshackle life is quite interesting. It's a big departure from the grand dormitories we're all used to living in. I believe in a way it may humble our student body after being brought down a few notches. like you said, you wished things were cleaner or in better shape but all of this has truly been left to the prefect themselves! when you realize that it puts how much you may be asking of them in perspective.
You'll have to work a little harder to have everything you want in a day while you're down here.
I've also tried helping the ramshackle prefect around with the dorm, whether that be sweeping, or decorating for the holidays, I have much more time to do so since I have no classes to attend. I think we should all at least put in a bit of work together. afterall, teamwork makes the dream work!
Thank you for the facts, I quite like them actually! learning about other people is just another hobby of mine. now I have a whole new person to learn about, and to try guessing who it is! again, I'm very excited. I hope after we met we can possibly be friends.
I thank you for the consideration! It's not often I get any type of gifts from anyone but my brother. but, I do think I may be a bit hard to gift for. I don't hold it against anyone.
For these holidays I believe I'd like to have a some art supplies. such as a sketch book and colored pencils. It's curious, drawing is something I didn't come out knowing how to do perfectly just yet. so it's something I'm deeply interested in pursuing.
do you like any forms of art? and I mean any forms, such as music or painting. be sure to tell me why as well!
That's all I wished to cover in my response. thank you again, write to you soon!
Sincerely,
Your Pen Pal!
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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 1 year
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I have tried before the advice of internalised biphobia but sadly it doesn’t work on me, it only makes me feel worse and guilty. I feel that way whenever i try to “force myself” to accept myself i feel worse because I can’t, or if I do I can make it last long. The only queer friend i have never had any major issues on accepting his identity and that makes me feel more alone, esp because his identity is significantly “more queer” than mine (he’s trans, nonbinary and ace-spec and im a bisexual genderqueer woman).
I think one of my biggest worries about being bi is how that will affect my life. I don’t want my life to change significantly just because I happen to be bi. I have 2 queer classmates and they both post a lot about being queer, post pictures with flags, etc. I don’t want to do that, even though a part of me would love having a bi flag in my room for example, but I don’t want other people to think im weird or that being queer is my only personality trait. It doesn’t help that I have always been a quiet person, so i’m not exactly used to drawings attention to myself.
Thanks for your answers, they did make me feel better. I guess i still have a lot of work to do. I would have gone off anon but i’m too coward to do that atm ;-;
No queer person is "more queer" than another. Thinking that is in itself an aspect of internalised biphobia, the fact that you think you are somehow less queer than someone else because you give a hierarchy to different gender identities and sexuality - that's not healthy, neither for you nor the queer community as a whole.
And I know I said this before but I'm gonna say this again: just because you see some queer people that you know behave a certain way does NOT mean you have to do the same. You are your own person and whichever way you want to express your queerness is up to you. It's not necessary to "do it right" in order to be a "real queer". However, you also say you wish you could have a bi flag but you are too afraid of what people might think. You say you are afraid that people will think you are weird if they know you are queer. Though I understand where this fear is coming from, maybe try not to prove to the world how "normal" you are but start learning that there's nothing wrong about being "weird". That's literally what "queer" meant and we have reclaimed that word and taken pride in it to say "so what if we're weird? we like being weird!" to the world.
This idea of "making queerness your only personality trait" is ALSO internalised queerphobia. It's a trend I've seen pop up mostly on online queer spheres over the last few years that people say this especially about young queer people. It's queerphobic because a) it views queerness as something negative or something that should be kept quiet about and b) it assumes that these queer people are one-dimensional people. Just because someone posts about their queerness online and/or is very out & proud offline does not mean that is "their only personality trait". People who have a problem with this don't really have a problem with the "only" part - they have a problem with the queerness part of it.
I really don't know what else to say or to advise you except to reitterate that you are definitely not alone. Just because your one friend had it relatively easy in their coming out doesn't mean you are less valid or that you are the only person who struggles. This blog would not exist if it was just you who needed help. So please reach out to more resources, ideally offline if that's possible where you live. Or at the very least try talking to your queer friends and classmates. Like those two who post about it online - the fact they are posting a lot about it might very well be their way of overcoming their own struggles with being queer. Don't just assume that everything is easy peasy for them by what it looks like online.
Maddie
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beforeidietwice · 2 years
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Chapter 10 : Nothing Good Ever Happens after 2 a.m
P.S : This is the first story that I'd written in a long while, it was my for my blog and now I'm posting it here
Year 2019 , 18th May
It’s past 2 a.m . You do know what that means right ? Well, if you’re one of the lucky people who has never experienced the emotion of love, heartbreak , or even loneliness to an extent, I’m guessing you have no idea of what I’m talking about. But not to worry, your saviour’s here.
Imagine that you’re really pissed at someone, or there’s this one random guy named Joe (Don’t ask who’s Joe) who does not like the ‘Friends’ television series. You somehow hate him even though you barely know him at all. His face makes you want to punch the life out of him. Every time he walks past you, you wish that he falls headfirst on his ass.
Yup, doesn’t make sense. And do you know someone who doesn’t make sense ? It’s freaking Joe. You don’t even want to know his story because it ‘has’ to suck. Imagine having that kind of an impression on someone.
Well, I’ve felt the same about a lot of people. Crushes, ex-crushes, potential crushes, exes, potential exes, especially that son of a bitch Joe, pretend friends and so on. But you know what ? None of that matters right now because it’s past 2 a.m, and for every broken heart in the world, that’s ceasefire territory.
It doesn’t matter who you’re thinking of. Your heart’s just too weak to draw the strength necessary to hate someone. In fact , you’ll probably end up blaming yourself for the things you never even did in the first place.
If you haven’t talked to your ex girlfriend in the past 5 years, this is exactly the time when you’re gonna wanna do it (even though you won’t, every bone in your body would try to force you to send that text).
You may be the most introvert of people but suddenly, even you start feeling the necessity to express everything that you’ve kept within you for the past 200 years.
It’s like how you feel when you’re drunk, only a thousand times worse (and it happens everyday).
Ted Mosby wasn’t really kidding when he said that nothing good happens after 2 a.m. It’s a universal fact. Yes, the menu might seem appealing, but never let that deceive you because more often than not, it never ends well. Well, at least that’s what I thought.
“The first straw” :
I had just posted an Instagram story trying to express myself in the best way possible. I was feeling hurt and lonely, and I really needed to vent. I still remember the exact time, it was 1:58 a.m.
I wrote something about how “the greatest hurt was not to go through a breakup or to lose someone. The greatest hurt was to remember of how things used to be”.
About just a minute later, I get three replies. Just for a moment, I’m excited because maybe, just maybe, there was someone else who wanted to vent too. You see, talking to people really helps at this time, especially if they can relate to how you’re feeling when half of the world is already asleep.
Out of the three replies, there were only two who could relate to my Instagram story and although I ended up talking to both of them for almost the entire night, this chapter talks about just one. I call her the little bird. Her name was Victoria.
I didn’t really know her that well. You know, you browse through some profiles in the Explore section or maybe notice them because of mutual friends. I found her in the latter way.
Victoria was a singer who had just recently launched the music video of a song she had covered. I was in love with her voice. I remember liking a few posts on her profile and commenting on them, which was probably the reason as to why she had followed me back. But that was it, we had never talked to each other beyond that.
The thing is, she didn’t reply to my story with a text but with a reaction. It was those stupid “100% agree” kind of reactions, but somehow I felt like she wanted to say more. I tried to break the ice by saying “Worst possible time of the night to talk about this, ain’t it ?”.
And I was right. She did want to talk more.
Victoria ended up telling me about exactly what I had mentioned about the ‘2 a.m ceasefire’.
She needed an explanation and I gave her one. I said, “Maybe we feel like this because of the silence of the night. It’s only at this time when we can really drown out the world and listen to ourselves. Maybe it’s how we’re really supposed to feel and that’s why it hurts so much because we try to bury the pain the entire day ”.
Somehow, talking to her made me feel better, until of course when she mentioned she was in love with someone.
Here’s a note for all the ladies out there. No matter how resilient a guy is, or heartbroken, our brains are not designed to handle the news of you being in love with someone. Especially when it’s your first conversation with them. We might not be interested in you at all, but you’re not allowed to love someone. Of course we won’t tell you about it but that happens almost always. That being said, we get back to normal pretty soon, and so did I.
It was almost 4 a.m when we finally stopped talking. This was probably the longest “after 2 a.m” conversation I had had with someone in years.
Over the next few weeks, we texted each other almost every day, and in that period of time, she had told me that she was in love with someone who didn’t feel the same. Jackpot right ? (“NO Ameer. That’s not what you should be thinking right now. You’ve been in her shoes before and you need to help her get past it.”)
Let me tell you something about Victoria.
Victoria was this gorgeous 18 year old (In my country, that’s a legal age, so stop judging me you nincompoop ) high school girl who was just about to get into college after a month or so. She was one of the cutest girls I had ever seen with a soul wrecking smile. And by wreck here, I mean it wasn’t really hard for someone to fall for her at first sight.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t attracted to her and that the thought of being with her never crossed my mind. It was only natural. But it wasn’t something new.
Guy meets pretty girl. They talk until the sun comes up. The honeymoon phase of when a relationship is just beginning to blossom. There are feelings inside of feelings. It’s that screwed up.
Luckily, I had already dealt with this in the past, so it didn’t really affect me that much.
I did what I thought was the best for her. She was dealing with a heartbreak, and I helped her put back the pieces together. In doing so, Victoria and I became really close.
“The second straw” :
Little bird wasn’t much of a talker and she didn’t really like sharing her feelings with people. That had changed since she had come to know me. She was able to tell me things she had never shared with anyone else.
She could somehow trust a stranger she had never even met, more than the people who had been with her her entire life.
This wasn’t weird by any means. It is the people closest to you that hurt you the most.
I mean, it’s okay if a stranger judges you, but it really does hurt if someone close to you does the same.
Although I wasn’t much of a stranger to her anymore, but she trusted me. She trusted me to listen to whatever she had to say. And I was at a point in my life where I understood the importance of really ‘listening’ to people. You see, people love to talk, but no one likes to listen. Maybe that was the reason why she found it so easy to express her feelings with me, because I would not interrupt her trying to barge in with one of my own stories.
Also, she had a really beautiful voice. So on days where she couldn’t put her feelings into words, she sang. And on days she was too numb to do anything, she’d send me a YouTube link instead. That was her way of saying that she missed me. Even though initially, it took me almost a week to realize that. Yes, no calls, no texts for a week, just a song link. People break up for less :’D
Little bird was from a different city. Almost 600 miles from where I lived. So meeting her was never an option unless I wanted to be murdered by my parents. Yes, in India its really common. No biggie. Going to see a girl was already a problem, but going to see a girl hundreds of miles away ? Nah. I valued my life. Besides, Indian parents don’t understand the concept of a female friend. They shoot first, ask questions later.
But maybe, she wasn’t just a female friend to me anymore. Maybe this was turning into something else. For the both of us.
Did I tell you that the city I lived was one of the most sought after tourist destinations in the entire country ? Yeah. Makes it easier to convince your parents to let you go on a vacation. Little bird had managed to convince hers to let her come over with her friends for her summer break holidays.
She was finally here.
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raeathnos · 3 years
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spokelseskladden · 2 years
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Hi!! I love your art! I wouldn’t even say I’m a Miguel/Hawk shipper myself but seeing your stuff is making me reconsider.
Could you give some advice on how to draw hands? I’ve been struggling with it but yours look lovely
Thank you!! There's no greater compliment than making people ship stuff lol. also get on the migueli raft dude, the takes are good and the vibes are immaculate❤
Hands are my favorite thing to draw! Mind you, I still struggle with them of course, everyone does. I threw together some general advice for you here, it's kinda messy but I hope it makes sense?
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I'm gonna elaborate a bit on some of this stuff under the cut lol
The best way of learning is to look at references. I know, everyone and their grandma's dog says that, but it's because it's true. You can find thousands of reference pictures online, or you can use your own hand. Trace over them, learn the shapes, and learn how it works. I'd advice you to do the same with other artist's work as well, but don't post traced art of course. It's a learning exercise, use the tricks more experienced artists use, and you'll come a long way! Figure out what kinds of hands you'd like to draw, and then find artists that draw in that style. Use their experience to your advantage.
Don't overly complicate things. From what I've learned, the more you try and add to the hands, the stiffer they become. You can kinda see it in the example pictures, the more detailed hands lacks some of the fluidity the simpler drawings have, even though on a technical level they're well drawn. At least in the beginning I'd advice you to keep it simple until you get the hang on it. And you will!
Sometimes you'll like the hand you've drawn, but then you realize it's not anatomically correct. It happens. Don't worry about it, art isn't meant to be a copy of reality. The lines are representations of it, and in my experience being able to translate what something might feel like trumps anatomical correctness any day. Keep practicing until you can combine the two!
And finally, you'll hear many people say you should draw hands like a million times on a piece of paper or whatever to get the hang of it. You can do that if you want to I guess, but it never really helped me. I didn't really get how to draw hands properly until I forced myself to draw characters using their hands, cause this was how I learned where to simplify, and where to add detail. It's also where I learned to attach the hand to the rest of the body, as well as how to draw them from different angles. Imo it's way more productive than drawing a bunch of floating hands again and again.
So yeah, that's my advice! I hope it was somewhat helpful✌✌
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kaeyasaki · 3 years
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📹 — :; “face-to-face” GQ interview
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-> inspired by the “face-to-face, A$AP rocky answers 18 from rihanna | GQ interview”, except i make the questions a little more personal because i don’t think anyone cares what gojo’s ‘fav curse word is’
-> ft :; gojo satoru
-> interview writing layout heavily inspired by @rintaroll
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y/n: hey GQ! i’m here to do face-to-face with my co worker, gojo!
gojo: coworker? is that all i am to you?
y/n: be grateful i even acknowledged you.
gojo: you wound me.
y/n: yet you’re still smiling.
gojo flashes a playful frown to the camera as y/n roll their eyes before pulling out a stack on cards.
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y/n: so first question, what’s the hardest part about working with me?
gojo: everything.
y/n: i’m serious.
gojo: and so am i, you make it hard for me to work with you because we never get anything done.
y/n: don’t make it sound like it’s my fault! we never get anything done because you get too distracted and drag me into it!
gojo: maybe you should discipline me more...
he teases and sends you a wink to which you dismiss quickly.
y/n: you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t need me to discipline you.
gojo: what if i want you to?
y/n: would you just answer the question seriously or i’ll really start to think you don’t think we work well together!
gojo: okay, i was kidding... you’re actually a pretty good teammate when we’re sent on missions together, i have fun with you... maybe a little too much fun...
y/n: don’t give them the wrong idea we’re nothing like that!
you cringe at him as he laughs before the camera cuts moving onto the next question
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y/n: okay, second question, answer seriously from now on, got it?
gojo: anything for you~
y/n: you disgust me... anyway, how well would you say you take care of yourself?
gojo: you mean like... self care wise?
y/n: yeah, like self care!
gojo: hmm well, i’d say i take care of myself pretty well, after all, pampered men are attractive men right?
y/n: i mean sure, i think it’s attractive when a man takes care of himself but if that mans you... maybe not so much.
gojo: you don’t mean that! you must be somewhat attracted to me.
y/n: can’t say i am no.
gojo: lying is a sin you know.
y/n: you’re totally straying away from my initial question.
you groan and face the camera and gojo tilts his head and laughs.
gojo: sorry, well, i’d say i clearly look after myself very well which should be to your liking.
y/n: you’ll never be to my liking, but it’s nice to hear you take care of yourself well and that you’re not just an annoying man, but rather an annoying but hygienic man.
gojo: you’re so horrible to m-
the camera cuts as you start laughing and gojo starts whining.
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y/n: we’re getting through these quickly now let’s keep it that way.
gojo: you know, we’d be half done by now if you stopped insulting me every chance you get.
y/n: i’m the quizzer, you’re the answerer, you answer when spoken to.
gojo turns to face the grinning camera crew behind the cameras on set.
gojo: now do you see what i have to put up with! i’m a victim i’m telling you!
camera man: no no, keep it up, you guys have nice chemistry
y/n: chemistry? not to be rude but you must’ve failed science, the only clear dialogue between us is practically conversation between an adult and child.
the camera crew laugh and gojo feigns offence before you clear your throat and look at the next card.
y/n: anyways, when was the first time you were majorly recognised as ‘famous’?
gojo: ah, a long time ago i need to think, give me a sec.
you pretend to yawn as gojo thinks about his answer before smiling at you.
gojo: my second year i think. that’s when i really started getting noticed for my talent.
y/n: practically a star since birth i see, how do you do it?
gojo laughs at your sarcasm as you grin back, evenly matched banter between the two of you flowing on set.
gojo: i’m handsome and gifted, i was made for this kinda life, it all comes naturally to me.
y/n: you know what doesn’t come naturally to you though?
gojo: hm?
y/n: that dress sense.
gojo: what’s wrong with my outfit?
y/n: bland, basic, and the way you chose itadori’s uniform was just straight up ugly!
gojo: he liked it!
y/n: the poor boy probably didn’t have the heart to express his disgust to your face.
gojo: well, until he does i’m gonna believe he likes it and my dress sense is more than up to standard.
y/n: if that’s what helps you sleep at night i guess...
the camera cuts with the two of you playfully bickering with each other, any previous speculation of hostility now gone as it’s clear for watchers to see just how your dynamic together works.
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y/n: question four! what’s the first thing you notice in a person?
gojo: in general or when analysing to an extent?
y/n: in generals fine.
gojo: hm i would say looks, but i don’t wanna look too shallow on camera.
y/n: they would’ve just recorded you saying that. don’t be shocked if you’re trending on twitter later for it.
gojo: it’s fine, as long as i’m trending who cares what it’s about.
y/n: i can see the headlines already... ‘gojo satoru, top sorcerer, favoured teacher at jujutsu high and big narcissist’
you smile smugly at the man as he laughs along with you with the camera crew from behind.
gojo: yeah yeah whatever you say, but if i had to answer honestly, i’d say what energy they give off. i don’t let it bother me too much, but i’d say i’m pretty good at judging what someone’s like based off of what energy they’re giving out.
y/n: i’m shocked, that’s a pretty good answer... for you anyway.
gojo: i try my best for you.
y/n: mhm sure, keep that attitude next time we’re working together and maybe we’ll finish jobs quicker.
gojo snickers and smiles gently at you, his direction is no longer faced towards the camera, but rather solely directed at you as you clear your throat.
y/n: yeah anyway, good answer. that might just get you uncancelled.
gojo: i haven’t even been cancelled yet don’t speak it into existence!
y/n: i’ll ‘try my best for you’
you’re both smiling softly at each other after you mock one of gojo’s previous replies, there’s no speech cut off as a comfortable silence rests for a moment as the scene cuts.
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y/n: okay, i want genuine answers only.
gojo: that’s what i’ve been giving you from the start!
you jokingly narrow your eyes at him before looking down at the next card.
y/n: well okay then, so, what was the first thing you noticed about me when we first met?
gojo: unusually bold question from you.
y/n: just shut up and answer, i was recommended to ask this.
gojo: sure, sure.
y/n: would you please just answer so we can get this over with?
gojo sighs dramatically and sits up properly and nods.
gojo: naturally, for anyone else i would say energy but for you, ah, i think it was your pretty face.
y/n: shut up, i said genuine answers only.
gojo: i am being genuine! aren’t i allowed to call you pretty?
y/n: you aren’t allowed to answer falsely, serious answers please.
gojo: you make me sound like i’m down bad, honestly, you’re very attractive to me, your energy was just a bonus, i’m serious, stop doubting yourself so much.
he smiles your way, not playfully nor forced, it’s a soft and genuine smile to calm your nerves, it’s a sign of truthfulness on his end. before you answer he clears his throat, slight hurry in his voice.
gojo: -of course, we were younger back then, since then you’ve gotten wrinkles and is that a few grey hairs i see? you also slouch-
y/n: -okay okay you can stop!
the two of you laugh as you gently kick his chair, the fact you’re being recorded and being watched by a whole camera crew totally forgotten about.
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y/n: okay, last question finally!
gojo: admit you had fun with me.
y/n: i see you everyday, today was nothing special.
gojo: you wouldn’t say we’ve bonded more over this interview?
y/n: you’re still as irritating as before this interview so no.
you grin and gojo scoffs before shuffling in his chair a little before a sly smile draws across his face.
gojo: go on then, last question.
y/n: would you sl-
gojo: go on, ask it, we’re waiting.
gojo is leaning on the palm of his hand, teasing smile playing on his lips and y/n stares at the card in disbelief.
y/n: you definitely wrote this! i would never ask this! there’s been a mistake with the cards or something
camera man: ah no, they’re all the questions that were on your form you sent in prior to the interview, these are the questions you apparently wanted to be asked. sorry, you’ll have to make do.
y/n: i’m not asking that.
gojo: come on now, don’t upset your supportive fans.
y/n: i know you wrote this, you’re so infuriating!
you glare at him but not with complete hostility, the situation slightly humorous to you despite your protests.
gojo: i mean well.
gojo shrugs as you sigh and stare at the card before speaking.
y/n: fine then have it your way. would you... would you sleep with me?
gojo: how brave! asking me on camera in the middle of an interview! how could i dare say no!
gojo is laughing along with the camera crew as you fight back a smile, refusing to admit his interference was entertaining.
y/n: at least take me out for dinner first.
gojo: now you’re asking me to take you out? you’re really bold today aren’t you!
y/n: oh shut up! i didn’t mean it like that! this is totally your fault it’s awkward now.
you’re grinning at this point not caring that your flirtatious banter with gojo is being recorded and is soon to be edited and posted for the world to see.
gojo: i mean, i’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you?
y/n: what? no, i- this wasn’t even a serious question shut up!
gojo: i’ll shut up if you let me take you out... and maybe then i’ll sleep with you after if that’s your request.
y/n: i can’t stand you!
gojo: but you do everyday, that must count for something right?
y/n: i hate you.
gojo: quite the contrary, i’m sure i’ll get you to admit that by tomorrow though.
y/n: ...i’ll be waiting on it then.
the two of you are smiling at each other, laughter dying down as you once again softly kick gojo’s chair. he pays no mind to it as a moment of fondness occurs, viewers clearly able to see the evident bond between the two of you.
y/n: okay well... that concludes our face-to-face, GQ interview, thanks for watching and putting up with him!
gojo: maybe we’ll come back to do an interview about our date after i take you out, who knows, maybe i’ll get to ask you to rate me in bed!
y/n: gross. you sound like a fifteen year old boy.
gojo: am i at least a hot one?
y/n: i refuse to catch a case.
gojo cackles as you laugh too, the camera fades out with the scene of the two of you softly smiling at each other as the interview concludes.
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randomshyperson · 3 years
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The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - The Fourth Year (Part II) - Chapter 5
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Gif is not mine, blessed are the gif makers.
Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist
Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.
Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies.
Chapter Words:  11.433K (they keep getting bigger and bigger don’t they?)
Authors note: I told myself i would only updated this once i finished writing two chapters ahead, but here we are. I hope everyone has a good reading, please let me know what you think and if you have any questions regarding the story i’m as lost as you are but i believe everything will make sense at the end.
//-//-//-//-//
When you woke up in the morning, you were really irritated.
Not having slept very well, both because of the time you went back to bed, and because of the strange dreams with red lights that you kept having, you were really sleepy when you had to get up.
And well, the first class was History of Magic, so the universe was not in your favor.
But you were quite surprised when you reached Professor Okoye's classroom and found a small crowd of students waiting at the door.
"What's going on?" You asked Quill as soon as you identified him in the crowd, Mantis right behind you. 
"I don't think we're going to have class today." He replied while looking into the room. You copied his movement, and could see the teacher moving the tables and chairs in the room away to the corner, leaving a nice clear space. When she was finished, she waved for everyone to come in.
You stood with Quill and Mantis and the rest of the students scattered around the room, and the teacher in the center. She closed the door with a wave of her wand as they all entered, a small smile on her lips.
"I have an announcement to make, students." She begins. "According to the traditions of the triwizard tournament, the host school must organize a winter ball during christmas night after the first task." She tells and has to raise her voice a bit because the students start talking to each other excitedly. "And as head of the Gryffindor house, renowned for its chivalry, I was made responsible for organizing dance class sessions." She pauses briefly, looking at the students until they fall silent. "I also expect the Hufflepuff house to behave as respectfully as my Gryffindor students, since the honorable Helga Hufflepuff was known for her great charity balls."
With a wave of Okoye's wand, a cabinet in the corner of the room opens, and out of it flies a small music organ to the corner of the room. When she waves it again, a soft melody fills the entire room.
"Let's begin."
//-//
It is only at lunchtime that you get to talk to Wanda. And your feet still hurt from the times Quill stepped on them during the dance class.
You throw your bag on the Slytherin bench and sit down next to Wanda, looking at her expectantly. The girl makes a confused frown.
"What?" she asks with a slight humor in her voice.
"Really, Wands?" You reply in the same tone. "I want to talk to you."
"About what?"
"The tournament." 
Wanda rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to the plate in front of her. You frown at the way she is being casual about it.
"What about the tournament?"
You let out a short laugh.
"What do you mean “what about the tournament”? You're the champion of Hogwarts! The underage champion of Hogwarts!" You clarify, but Wanda doesn't look at you. You blink in confusion, and reach your forearm down on the table, touching her lightly so that she looks at you. Your chest aches as she pulls her arm away. "What's wrong?"
Wanda sighs, running her hands through her hair lightly.
"I just don't want to hear about how I'm an irresponsible cheater or how dangerous the tournament is." She replies looking at you.
"I wasn't going to say that." You retort, and Wanda rolls her eyes, which irritates you. "You haven't even heard what I have to say and you've already drawn your own conclusions."
Wanda clenches her jaw, her cheeks slightly reddened.
"And what do you have to say about it then?"
"I was gonna offer to help you practice for the tasks!" You clarify angrily. And Wanda blinks in confusion. You turn your face forward next, crossing your arms. Arguing with Wanda was absolutely the worst. 
It takes a moment, but her posture softens completely and she sighs, reaching out for your arm afterwards.
"Hey." She calls tenderly, but you continue to stare straight ahead. "Hey, I'm sorry. Look at me."
You slowly turn to the side, looking down at your lap. Wanda waits for you to look up, and when you do, she gives you a weak smile.
" I'm sorry." She repeats, and you sigh, nodding. Wanda bites her lip, looking at you for a moment. "I need to tell you something. Is about..."
Wanda falls silent as your friends arrive at the table, commenting excitedly on the news of the dance that has already spread throughout the school. She sighs softly, straightening herself to look forward. You bite the inside of your cheeks, curious to know what she was going to say, but not wanting to press her.
When Nebula and Gamora sit across from you, you strain to pay attention to their conversation.
"But Wanda, tell us, what is it like to be a Hogwarts champion?" Gamora asks after the topic about the ball closes. Wanda tenses momentarily, and you want to ask why Pietro is sitting at the other end of the table with boys you don't know instead of with his sister, but the brunette forces a smile and you don't.
"I don't recommend the experience, if you ask me." She retorted with slight irony in her voice, making the group laugh. "After the selection, the principals of the other schools were not at all happy about my participation."  She counters twisting her fingers lightly. "I think they were questioning the security of the Goblet choice. But Principal Harkness stood up for me, in her own way at least. She insisted that nothing could be done, because the magical contract with the goblet can only be broken with the end of the tournament."
"I imagine you had no idea this was all going to happen when you put your name on the goblet, eh?" Nebula asked wryly, making the group laugh. But Wanda frowned.
"I didn't put my name on the goblet." Wanda declared. Her friends gave a short laugh, thinking she was joking. But the other girl's serious expression makes them look at her in surprise.
"Wait, are you serious?" Gamora questions and Wanda nods, sighing. She exchanges shocked looks with Nebula and Mantis. Next, Gamora looks at you. "I guess that goes on your list of weird things this year, huh?"
You shake your head slightly, not wanting the girl in front of you to mention what happened in the cup, but Gamora is already commenting on your nightmares the next moment.
Wanda turns to you next.
"What nightmares?" She questions, and you sigh, losing your appetite. "And why didn't you tell me about what you saw in the cup? And well, if you were worried, you could have asked if everything was okay with me, we've been at Hogwarts for a month now and..."
"Wanda." You interrupt with a short smile. "Calm down, okay? I was just trying to find the right time to talk to you about everything."
"I am calm, I just want to know why you are hiding things from me! " She hits back and you frown in surprise.
"Look who's talking!"
You regret the way you speak, because Wanda gasps in surprise, her gaze hurt. Your friends witness the discussion intently.
"What did you mean by that?" She retorts angrily.
"You know very well what I meant." You reply in the same tone, feeling your stomach turn in nervousness. "You always hide things, whether with your family, or with your magic! And you won't tell me what's going on with us!"
Wanda looks at you in a mixture of surprise, anger and hurt, and you feel your heart racing. Some students are looking at you curiously, but Wanda's lack of response only disappoints you. You cast her an angry glance before getting up and leaving the hall.
//=//
You feel bad that you have accused Wanda the moment you reach your dorm. You don't know if she has the answers you seek. But you are tired, because it seems that everyone is keeping secrets from you.
Throwing yourself down on the sofa, you sigh as you close your eyes. You don't feel like studying right now, but soon you have a Defense Against the Dark Arts period and you need to get up. You don't rush, though, using all the remaining time at lunch to calm yourself, trying to push out the thoughts that you and Wanda would no longer be friends.
Mantis meets you at the door to the communal hall as soon as you leave, and you thank her for bringing your backpack back. 
"Are you okay?" She asks as you both walk toward the tower.
"Yeah, it was just a silly argument." You mumble clumsily.
"Wanda was pretty upset after you left." She counters, and you mutter in understanding. "I hope you two can make up soon."
"Me too."
When you arrived at the D.A.D.A. room, few minutes later, you grumbled softly because you could only find chairs in the front, and students who sat near Professor Fury were always called in.
The professor entered soon after, his long black cape dragging across the floor, and the customary eye patch hiding a scar on his face.
"Good afternoon, everyone." He announced loudly as he entered, and waited until everyone was seated to begin. Drawing out his wand, he charmed the chalk on the blackboard to write the subject of the day. Some buzz began to circulate as the words "unforgivable curses" formed on the board. "Who here can tell me what the unforgivable curses are?"
The room was completely silent. Fury walked between the tables.
"No one?" He asked. "How disappointing."
You knew that no one answered the question because it was a huge taboo in the witch community to talk about the dark arts so freely. Professor Fury seemed to know that too, and that only seemed to make him angry.
“Unforgivable curses are three of the most powerful and sinister spells in the world of magic.” Fury explains next. “Their use is forbidden in all magical communities, and if a wizard or witch casts any of them on another wizard or witch, they will receive a sentence in Azkaban.”
Fury made another motion with his wand and the closet at the back of the room opened, a small cage secured in an iron compartment with wheels crawled to the front. 
You and the rest of the room let out exclamations of surprise as you observed the creature inside. A large, hairy spider, very scary. Mantis shrank into the chair beside you.
"As an antidote to your ignorance, I recommend that you read the book of this subject before the next class, and bring me two scrolls about the first three chapters, specifying the history of the prohibition of unforgivable curses." Professor Fury then announced, drawing an unsatisfied buzz from the students. The room fell silent the next minute, however, as the professor opened the cage.
The spider moved on the iron, looking practically startled and shrinking into the cage. 
"The first unforgivable curse is the command curse." Fury explained, pointing his wand at the bug next. "Imperio."
You and the rest of the students watched in shock as the small crystallized flash came from the tip of the wand to the creature, which stretched its legs and then moved outward. It wasn't hard to deduce that it was Professor Fury who was controlling the spider, since from the movement of his wand, it was moving.
"The Imperium curse consists of absolute control of another living being." Fury told as he moved the spider around the room, drawing exclamations of fear and shock. "You see, during the last witch war, many sorcerers claimed that they were only fighting for Mephisto because of this curse." 
The mention of Mephisto made everyone hold their breath, but the professor didn't stop talking.
"The ministry found an efficient way to find out who was lying." He counters with a short smile. Bringing the spider back to the front of the room, to his desk for all to see, he holds it still. "You will find out eventually, children, that moral lines are usually broken during wars."
You exchanged a look with your colleagues, all clearly surprised and frightened. Fury cleared his throat, pointing his wand at the spider.
"Crucio" He spoke and unlike the other, no light came out. The spider cringed, making a high-pitched noise that filled the entire room. You understood that it was screaming in pain, and you felt your stomach clench. Before you knew it, you stood up abruptly, the noise attracting everyone's attention.
"Stop it!" You shouted angrily. "Can't you see you're hurting her?"
The teacher stopped, and you tried to control your uncompensated breathing. He cleared his throat, ignoring the buzz in the room as he extended his hand to the spider, which obediently climbed into his hand.
He turned to you, placing the animal on your desk, and you swallowed dryly, keeping your gaze on the back of the room, knowing exactly what was coming. Professor Fury looked at the creature with contempt. 
"The last unforgivable curse is the killing curse." He explains. "Avada Kedavra."
You close your eyes for a moment, feeling your body tremble. When you look down, the spider was dead. The room in complete silence.
You look at Professor Fury with watery eyes.
"No one should survive this curse." He tells you. Before you can say anything, he softens his expression, looking around. "And none survived, of course. Now, why aren't you guys writing down what I said?"
You don't feel very well for the rest of the class.
//-//
The vast majority of the students seem far more impressed with how dark Fury's classes have become than afraid. You can't say the same, because it seems that every time he has to explain something about dark magic, you feel sick. Gamora tried to cheer you up by joking that auror wouldn't be the right profession for you, but you've been so upset about the absence of Wanda that you've barely been able to smile.
As the first assignment approaches, you want to forget that you fought and apologize, but the girl also seems to be avoiding you, so you do the same.
Pietro has also been distant, and Nebula told you that he and Wanda were not yet on the best of terms, and Pietro was spending much more time with Monica and Darcy than with you all. 
When the day of the first task finally arrived, you ignored the fact that you were fighting and went to look for Wanda, unable to ignore the feeling of worry that took over your whole body.
You had no idea what the first task was going to be, but Miss Harkness had asked the whole school to go to the Quidditch field on Saturday, and there were tents set up at the north end. You told Gamora that you would join her in the stands in a moment, that you needed to talk to Wanda first, and you snuck through the crowd to reach the champions' tent area.
"Psst." You called out from between the canvas of the tent, recognizing the gloomy figure sitting in the corner of the place as you entered from the back. Wanda looked around, and then stood up, frowning when she could see your shadow.
Opening the tarp, she looked at you in a mixture of surprise and irritation.
"What do you want here?"
"I didn't come to fight with you." You let her know as you realize the tone in her voice. You bite your lips for a moment, and then sigh. "Damn, I missed you."
Wanda looks away, her cheeks reddening as she crosses her arms. You swallow dryly, ignoring your uncompensated heartbeat.
"Is this what you came for?" She asks half-heartedly, staring at the floor.
"No." You say. "I needed to make sure everything was okay, and I wanted to wish you good luck."
"Why do you care?" She hits back in defiance, and you roll your eyes.
"I'm still your friend, Wanda." You reply. "We fought, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore."
Wanda looks away again, and you switch the weight on your foot.
"Well, that was it." You say. "Good luck to you."
"Thank you." She mumbles without looking at you. When you turn around, her arms wrap around you in a tight embrace. Wanda rests her head on your back and sighs, and you recover from the surprise, caressing her hands resting on your belly with your thumbs. Before you can turn to correspond properly, she releases you. "Now get out of here before a teacher sees you."
You smile at her before walking away.
//-//
Wanda would confront a dragon. You think you're controlling yourself pretty well despite everything.
She was going to be the last to do so, but your heart was already racing from the moment Principal Harkness walked to the center of the Quidditch pitch and after making the general announcements, nodded toward the locker room area that had been enchanted so that the beast could hide inside. The next minute there were witches bringing a dragon into the stadium and the crowd screamed with excitement and fear.
The champions needed to capture the golden egg for the second task, and well, everyone was curious to know how they would do it.
Gamora handed you a small booklet, and you frowned when you realized that it was an enchanted betting chart. She gave you a little smile, waving to someone behind her, and you noticed that almost all the people were betting on the winners, and the game flyers were circulating around the stands. You felt your stomach turn as you watched the enchanted drawing of a dragon spit fire at the image of three witches. 
You ended up handing the flyer to Mantis and didn't bet on anyone, focused on watching the task.
Jean Grey captured the egg in fifteen minutes. She took on the Common Welsh Green dragon, and everyone was impressed to watch her use a mirroring spell to confuse the dragon about the true location of the golden egg. She finished the task unhurt, and unseen and you joined the crowd in cheering, watching her receive the perfect score.
Maria Hill was injured in her ordeal, but this certainly brought a lot more entertainment to the audience. She faced the Norwegian Crested Back, and tried to bewitch the dragon with a sleeping spell, but the creature awoke as soon as she reached for the egg. 
The audience screamed with excitement as the dragon began to spit fire everywhere, furious. Fortunately, Maria only had minor burns, as she was able to charm the beast again. Her score was lower than Jean's, but still high.
When Wanda's turn came, many of the Gryffindor students began to boo, and you clenched your jaw. 
You relaxed momentarily when Wanda looked around the audience, smiling at you before focusing on the creature in front of her.
"That one looks bigger than the other two, huh?" you grumble to Gamora with concern as you observe the beast in the center of the field. 
"Maybe he's more docile." She remarks, but it's not true, especially since the next second the creature roars ferociously as it notices Wanda approaching.
The Ukrainian Iron Belly moved his long tail around the field, the iron chains swinging as he did. Wanda was holding her wand, hiding behind a rock. You can barely hear the crowd with the ringing in your ears, your heart racing a thousand an hour in your chest.
As Wanda approaches again, trying to bewitch the beast, the Iron Belly roars, raising its tail in the air to strike her. You blink in astonishment as you watch a shield spell form around Wanda. She rolls across the field, faster than the beast, and runs to reach the egg.
She casts a spell on its snout that leaves it bewildered long enough for her to grab the prize.
On the way back, the creature wags its tail rapidly across the field, roaring with irritation, and hits Wanda in the back, throwing her a few meters forward.
"Y/N what are you doing? Put that away!" Gamora warns you at the next second. You blink in confusion, realizing that you have your wand in hand, raising it in front of you. Gamora lowers your hands, and because of all the commotion, no one else seems to notice. She looks at you with concern, but you feel your mouth go numb; you need to help Wanda.
"Let me go, Wanda needs me." You grumble pushing her hands away, and hurrying to get down from the bleachers. Gamora calls out to you but you don't turn around.
The test continues on the field next to you, but you have to look forward to get down, pushing people aside as you rush to catch up to Wanda, your wand vibrating in your fingers as the rest of your body.
Professor Heimdall stops you at the edge of the stands.
"I need you to focus on my voice, Stark." He asks as he places his hands on your shoulders. You gasp in surprise, trying to turn your head to look at the field, but the firm grip holds you in place.
"Let me go." You ask panting, a pain beginning to well up in your head. "Wanda is in danger."
"Look at me." He commands as he lifts his thumbs to your cheek, pinning your face to look at him. You stare at the yellow irises feeling your breath hitch. You need to help Wanda. But somehow, as the seconds tick by, the yellow eyes are all you can think about. "Pull yourself together. Can't you hear the celebration from the audience? Wanda has completed the test. She is safe."
You choke on the professor's words, feeling an urge to cry with relief. He keeps his expression serious, though.
"Pull it together. Keep your wand away." He commands. "Don't tell anyone about this, not everyone is your friend here."
"W-what?"
But Professor Heimdall lets you go, quickly taking your wand and putting it back in your cloak pocket. He looks around, and smiles at someone behind you. Only now you notice the celebratory noise around you, and you turn around. The crowd is descending, and Principal Harkness is announcing the final scores.
Your friends are coming toward you, happy and smiling. Professor Heimdall steps aside to join the teachers' group, and then you are being dragged with your friends to the center of the field, along with the rest of the crowd celebrating the end of the task. You hear fireworks and shouts of victory, but your gaze is searching for Wanda.
She is shaking hands with the Minister of Magic, Johann Shmidt, and you gasp when you catch sight of her. She has barely turned toward you, smiling and waving shyly when she realizes that you and your friends are coming to greet her, when you run toward her, throwing your arms around her when you reach her.
"Wow." She gasps in surprise, but hugs you back, chuckling softly. You don't let go, and soon your friends are hugging you two too. And they are laughing and celebrating, and you are holding back your tears, not understanding why the possibility of losing Wanda seems worse than death.
//-//
Things get better after the first task. After you left the Quidditch camp, you joined the celebration in the Slytherin communal hall, which was filled with people from all the houses.
All the students who had stood against Wanda before she defeated the dragon now seemed keen to become her friends, praising her and congratulating her on the way she killed the beast. 
You still don't understand what exactly happened, but Wanda used some spell that hit the creature in the heart, and well, killing the dragon earned her first place. The other directors were not happy with the judge's decision, but the rest of the school certainly liked it.
You are in the corner of the room, surrounded by your friends and Tony's friends, trying to stay sociable while ignoring how tired you feel.
"Why are you so quiet?" Gamora asks you softly, noticing your lack of enthusiasm to join in the explosive snap game that Quill has just suggested to everyone. 
"It's nothing." You lie forcing a smile. Professor Heimdall's words still echoing in your head. "I'm just not in the mood to party. I guess I'm sleepy."
Gamora murmurs in understanding, assessing your face for a few moments. But Nebula is pulling her sister over to look at the items Tony got on his last trip to Hogsmeade, and you don't join in the conversation. 
Your gaze searches for Wanda, who is locked in conversation with a seventh grader who has never spoken to you guys before, but seemed very willing to become Wanda's friend now that she has become a champion.
You were thinking of waiting until Wanda had finished talking to the girl to say good-bye, but then you felt irritation boil up in the pit of your stomach as you watched the older girl toss her hair to the side, her hand running up Wanda's arm, as Wanda gave her a wry smile. 
You really didn't want to watch Wanda flirting with anyone, so you hurried out of the dorm, hopefully everyone would be busy enough with the party to notice.
Outside, as you turned the corner, you saw something you didn't want to see.
Tony and Steve were kissing against a wall, your brother's hands inside the other boy's shirt. You let out a loud exclamation of shock, covering your eyes.
"God, get a room!" You complained loudly with your eyes closed, feeling your cheeks very hot. You heard Tony and Steve giggle, and waited a moment to open your eyes, only to find Steve very red, looking away, and your brother with his arms crossed.
"Don't be such a baby." He teased. "One of these days I'm going to find you like this."
You choke lightly, letting out an indignant laugh.
"Excuse me, but I don't want to hook up with anyone in the corners of the castle." You mumble in embarrassment, and Tony exchanges a look with Steve, letting out a chuckle.
"Damn, do girls go through puberty later or something?" He teases and you look at him wide-eyed. "I'm teasing you little sister, no need to freak out about it." He mocks as he pulls Steve by the sleeve, when he is walking away, he turns his head to you again. "Let me know if you change your mind, I bet Natasha that you were going to propose to Wanda this year!" He shouts before turning down the hall, leaving you behind with cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
You figure you'd better get back to the dorm before you run into some teacher.
//-//
You have another nightmare during the night. As real as the vision you had during the quidditch cup. You see the graveyard and the red light, but this time, it is you who is attacking. You wake up in fright, but feeling absolutely exhausted, you go back to sleep almost immediately afterwards. This time you dream of someone holding your hand.
//-//
"Have you decided who you're going to ask to the dance?" It is the first question Gamora asks you during breakfast, and you choke on your pumpkin juice. She ignores your reaction and continues talking. "By the way, where were you last night?"
"I told you I was tired." You reply wiping up the juice you spilled with a napkin. "I went back to my dorm."
"You missed the best part of the party." She retorted excitedly. "Some Ravenclaw kids conjured up a fireworks dragon and someone handed out candy from Honeydukes to everyone."
"Sounds amazing." You grumble before going back to eating. Gamora looks at you expectantly, and you sigh, understanding that she is waiting for you to answer her first question. "I don't know if I want to go to the dance."
"You’re not going to the dance?" It is Wanda who asks as she arrives at the table. You almost choke again, but just roll your eyes at the insinuating look Gamora gives you as Wanda sits down. 
"Oh, she's just saying that because no one invited her." Gamora teases with an insinuating tone, and you try to hit her but she laughs as she moves away from your grasp.
"You know, you can ask someone if you want to. You don't have to wait for the invitation." Nebula then suggests, and you are surprised because she wasn't even paying attention to the conversation, a spell book laid out in front of her. "Unless you're afraid of rejection."
"What is it with you guys today?" You mutter irritatedly, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment as you observe the insinuating glances of the two girls in front of you. "Besides, why are you talking about invitations, Gamora? Who invited you?"
Gamora lets out a shy giggle, and then looks away. She nods toward Quill, and you let out a surprised exclamation.
"And you're just telling me this now?" You retort excitedly.
"You're the one who left the party yesterday!" She replies. "He invited me last night, and I was going to tell you, but you left without even looking back."
You roll your eyes with amusement.
"Are you really waiting for someone to invite you?" Wanda asks next, and you look at her, feeling your heart miss a beat. What the hell is going on with you lately?
"I... well, I don't know." You answer clumsily. "I haven't really thought about it.”
"But you want to be asked?" Wanda inquires and you swallow dryly. 
"I don't know, maybe."
"But if someone were to invite you now, would you like it?"
"I..."
"God, just ask her at once!" Gamora interrupts impatiently, causing you and Wanda to look at her wide-eyed. Nebula lets out a chuckle, without looking away from the book on your desk. Gamora gestures in Wanda's direction. "Sorry, girls, I just got a little carried away. Please, Wanda, continue with your embarrassing attempt to ask the dumbest person in this school to the dance."
You mumble clumsily, feeling your cheeks warm. Wanda giggles.
The brunette next to you pokes you lightly in the ribs, and waits for you to look at her again before speaking.
"Gamora's right, actually." She says shyly, and you feel your heart speed up. "All champions need to dance at the ball, and well, the first person I thought of asking was you." She confesses quickly. "But it's okay if you don't want to go..."
"No!" you interrupt quickly, feeling your face hot. You smile next. "I'd love to go to the dance with you, Wands."
Wanda looks at you for a few seconds, and you look back. Your stomach flipping with nervousness.
"I'm getting diabetes." Nebula comments next, breaking the moment. Gamora laughs, pushing her shoulder lightly against her sister as you and Wanda look forward uncomfortably.
"Stop it, they're adorable." Gamora hits back with a smile, you clear your throat, feeling embarrassed as you pretend to pay attention to the daily prophet lying on the table and not the presence of the brunette next to you or the comments of your friends.
//-//
Things go well between you and Wanda after that. The discussion you two had is long forgotten. You imagine that Gamora and Tony think that as you begin to help Wanda try to decipher the egg, that you have mentioned to her the connection you have been feeling, but you have not yet found the moment to speak up.
You told her about the other things, though. About the sky mark on the Quidditch canopy, and Tony's investigation of your father and the followers of Mephisto. Wanda was also surprised to learn that Howard and Erik had been friends in school days, but she knew as little as you did about all the issues. You felt bad for having accused her of hiding things from you, and bought Honeydukes candy to apologize.
And so time passed, and the day of the winter ball finally arrived.
To say that you were looking forward to it was an understatement. And you weren't the only one, as during the whole day, the vast majority of the students talked only about this.
Your prom outfits arrived the same day during breakfast. You had written to Jarvis to buy Gamora's and Nebula's costumes as well, and they were very happy to receive the dresses. Tony had a piece of toast in his mouth when you left his suit that arrived in the same package as yours on the table, before you turned to check your own outfit.
"It's very nice, isn't it?" You commented to Gamora as soon as you held out the material aloft. The girl let out a sigh of excitement.
"My god, you're going to look beautiful!" She exclaims, and then gives you an insinuating look. "In fact, you're already a cutie." She teases with a wink, making you laugh. 
"Good morning." Wanda said as she joined you, she widened her eyes slightly when she realized that you were looking at the ball costumes. 
"Great, you're here!" Gamora speaks to the brunette excitedly. "I want to see your dress!".
Wanda smiled awkwardly.
"It's in my room." She informs you as she sits down next to Gamora. Her gaze lingers on you for a moment, but when you notice, she deflects. "You can see it when we go to get ready."
The conversation eventually went in the direction of comparing outfits and forming combinations, and then you thought it best to put your clothes away before they got dirty with some of the delicious food from the breakfast.
//-//
You were a little surprised to hear that the girls were going to start getting ready for the ball as early as the afternoon, but you didn't object to joining them in the Slytherin communal hall, taking your costume package with you.
"Are you going to wear any makeup?" Gamora asked you as you all stood in the Slytherin dormitory bathroom, which had several girls in it. Fortunately the communal hall was the most luxurious in the entire school and had enough space for everyone. You were sitting on one of the sink benches, after showering and putting on your prom costume, waiting for the girls to finish.
"I don't know how to wear makeup, Gamora." You respond by looking at her. She smiles, looking away from the mirror to look at you. 
"If you want, I can help you." She says and seeing your hesitation, she smiles. "Only if you want me to, honey."
"I don't know." You say. "Maybe just lipstick."
Gamora laughs lightly, nodding in agreement. Nebula starts complaining loudly next, not being able to button the zippers of her dress properly, and Gamora gives a giggle, stepping aside to help her sister. 
"Stop moving." Gamora warns Nebula, and you chuckle at the scene. Wanda is coming out of the cabin she had come in from to put on her dress, and you feel your breath hitch when you see her. She is adjusting the straps and smiles shyly at the look you cast at her, and you do your best to cover it up.
"You look pretty." She comments as she approaches, looking at you for a moment before looking away to the mirror.
"You look beautiful, Wanda." You retort the next moment, half out of breath. Wanda smiles, her cheeks reddening as she keeps her gaze on her own reflection, fixing her hair.
"Wanda, help Y/N with her makeup, I think Nebula messed up her zipper." Gamora asks the next moment, pulling out her wand to concertize her sister's clothes, who fusses impatiently. You and Wanda share a giggle at the scene, but your giggle dies as Wanda approaches you, a lipstick in her hands. 
"I think this color suits your costume." She comments with a smile, opening the lipstick and lifting it to your face height. You feel your breath hitch, watching with slightly wide eyes as Wanda stands between your legs and touches your face with her other hand to hold you in place. "Stand still so it doesn't smudge."
You want to tell her you're not going anywhere, but she's putting the makeup on you in the next second. You keep your mouth ajar, trying to ignore the tingling sensation you feel on your skin where Wanda's fingers are touching, or the way your heart is racing. Wanda is concentrating on her task, and bites her lower lip as she puts on your make-up. 
"There you go." She whispers as she pushes the lipstick away from your lips, her gaze lingering on your mouth however. The dark glow in her irises makes your stomach do a flip-flop. You think Wanda is going to kiss you, because she is so close and her fingers are still on your chin, and you wish she would.
But Gamora lets out an exclamation of satisfaction as she manages to tidy up her sister's dress, and Wanda frowns, shaking her head slightly as she steps back.
"You look gorgeous, Y/N!" Gamora says as soon as she glances at you, making you smile awkwardly. You're feeling a little out of breath from all the interaction with Wanda, so you just keep your gaze on your own lap, waiting for the girls to finish the finishing touches. Nebula remarks something about a funny story in the Daily Prophet next and you get distracted.
//-//
You are a nervous wreck when you all reach the main hall. 
Gamora nods to Quill, standing in the doorway in his dark brown suit, looking very handsome with the tie that matches his eyes. He flashes her a contented smile as they greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. You see Pietro and Monica have entered the room as well, their arms intertwined. Darcy is right behind, accompanied by a girl you don't know.
You clear your throat, turning to Wanda as you stop at the entrance, but Professor Okoye catches up with you before you can ask if Wanda wants to come in yet.
"Maximoff, dear, there you are." Okoye announces sounding rushed. "The dance of champions is about to begin, I imagine you'll be the partner, right miss Stark?"
"R-right, professor." You reply and the woman nods in agreement, grabbing yours and Wanda's arm to drag you to a corner, where the other champions were already waiting. She hurried out the next moment, signaling to the students outside to come in that she needed to announce the start of the dance.
"Are you ready?" you ask Wanda ignoring the nervous feeling in your stomach. The brunette smiles, her hand slipping into yours and making your heart soar.
"I hope I don't stumble." She retorts with a shy smile, you think she looks absolutely stunning.
"Don't worry." You say looking forward, the other champions straightening up to get in line. "I won't let you fall."
//-//
You twist Wanda in your arms to the rhythm of the music, a laugh escaping your lips. This is already the fourth song in a row that you have danced to together, and the feeling is so incredible that you think you will dance all night.
Two more songs later, you feel thirsty and approach Wanda to tell her you'll get a drink for you two, completely oblivious to the way the girl's cheeks flush when you whisper in her ear.
At the drinks table, Gamora approaches you, her cheeks rosy.
"I just kissed Peter!" She announces and you almost knock over the punch.
"What?" you ask in surprise and your sister laughs, maybe from nervousness or excitement, you can't tell. "Did you like it?
"Sure." She assures you with a smile, looking pleased. You make a mental note to tease her about her blushing cheeks another time. "It was weird the first time, but the sensation is really good when you get the rhythm right."
You nod in understanding, not knowing exactly what you can add in this matter.
"And what are you doing here with me? Go kiss your boyfriend!" You tease next, smiling encouragingly and making Gamora laugh. She turns to leave, but then decides to tell you something.
"Don't forget to tell me how it was with Wanda. I think kissing a girl must feel different."
She then leaves, laughing lightly at your shocked expression. Your heart is racing because the only thing you can think about right now is the possibility of kissing Wanda.
Your gaze returns to the dance floor, and you feel your nervousness increase. Wanda dances timidly to the rhythm of the music, her hips swaying and her eyes closed. She looks beautiful. She is beautiful. Out of your reach.
You shake your head to push these thoughts away, and you take a deep breath before walking over to her again with the drinks in your hand.
//-//
After drinking and dancing to three more songs, the band finally changes to a softer melody, and you smile shyly at Wanda as you hold out your hand to her.
With your hands together, you hold Wanda around the waist, and she rests her free hand on your shoulder. She is blushing at the closeness of your faces, so she gives you a shy smile before resting her chin on the hand on your shoulder. You enjoy the proximity as you move slowly to the rhythm of the music.
You close your eyes, feeling quite good this way. In her arms. Peaceful.
When the music ends, it takes a moment for you to move away, your hands remaining together. 
Wanda looks at you for a moment, and then nods her head to the side to signal you two to leave. You bite your lips as she takes you by the hand to escort you out of the room.
You are too busy thinking about the feeling of your hands intertwined to worry about the path, and are slightly surprised when you end up in an empty room.
Wanda lets go of your hand as you enter. And you close the door as she walks inside. She stops walking when she reaches the teacher's desk, and turns around, leaning against the wood. You watch her twist the rings on her fingers nervously as you walk toward her. 
You stop at the desk in front of her, mimicking her motion of leaning against the wood as you risk a glance at her.
"What are we doing here, Wands?" You ask ignoring your heartbeat quickened by the tension in the air.
Wanda looks at you, pressing her lips together for a moment. 
"What do you think?" She retorts with slight defiance, and you bite back a smile, feeling your cheeks heat up.
"You... you know we don't have to do anything just because everyone else is doing it, right?" You say, and Wanda lets out a short laugh, looking at you slightly impressed. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just that's such a Gryffindor thing to say. Very chivalrous." She teases and you chuckle awkwardly, shrugging your shoulders.
"Well, I am a hatstall after all." You mutter and Wanda frowns in confusion. You shake your head, briefly mentioning what the sorting hat told you in first year and drawing an impressed exclamation from Wanda.
"That's pretty awesome, you know, right?" she adds with a smile.
"Yeah, I'm pretty awesome indeed." You joke making Wanda laugh.
"Oh, there's the Slytherin part I see." She teases. "But I haven't found your Ravenclaw trait yet, are you sure you inherited the intelligence?"
You pretend to be offended for a moment with a grimace, and Wanda laughs, unconsciously or consciously stepping forward.
"Excuse me, but I am a very competent sorceress."  You argue smiling, ignoring the nervousness that grows as the proximity between you two increases. "Best charm student in the whole school."
"Oh, really?" Wanda retorts. "Last time I checked I had that position."
"It's okay, we can share first place." You assure almost in a whisper, Wanda is too close for you to think of adding anything else right now.
"There's the Hufflepuff." She says with a shy smile, approaching you one last time. You can feel her breath against your cheek, the emerald eyes fixed on yours. You swallow dryly, risking a look at the lips so inviting. "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"
"Not if I kiss you first." You breathlessly challenge, and Wanda smiles before moving forward, both of you closing your eyes at the same time as you meet her halfway.
Her lips were soft, just as you imagined they would be. You swallow hard, feeling your whole body heat up. You stood with your mouths together for a moment, before Wanda pulled away, her breathing uncompensated as much as yours, as your lips tingle. 
"Kiss me again." She asks hoarsely, and you move forward. This time it's even better, because Wanda's hands go to your neck and yours to her waist. And when she sighs, you ask for passage with your tongue, following your instincts completely.
The sensation is intoxicating, and sends a shiver through your whole body. Wanda tastes like cherry punch, and you gasp at the sensation of your tongues together, squeezing her waist lightly.
You parted for breath, keeping your foreheads together and your eyes closed.
"Wow." You exclaimed softly breathlessly.
"Yeah, I know." She agrees in the same tone, her hands coming down from your neck to squeeze your shoulders lightly. Wanda kisses you again, her tongue moving against yours slowly, exploring your mouth. You moan softly at the sensation and Wanda pulls away breathlessly, blushing due the sound she has managed to wring out.
"S-sorry." You gasp quickly, feeling your cheeks as hot as the rest of your body.
"Don't be." She says. "That was hot."
You let out a clumsy laugh, and Wanda copies, and the moment dissipates from palpable tension to humorous lightness. You kiss briefly before Wanda circles her arms around your shoulders in a hug that you reciprocate equally.
"Do you want to go back to the party?" You ask when she breaks the embrace, but her hands remain intertwined behind your neck. 
"Not really." She replies with a smile, biting her lips as she looks at you. " I just came to be with you."
"Oh, yeah?" You ask with slight teasing, and Wanda lowers her gaze to your lips.
"Hu-huh. And now that I have you, I don't want to let you go."
You smile, lifting your hands to her neck, caressing her nape lightly as you kiss her again, not as intensely as before, and with a smile on your lips.
When you pull away, Wanda is smiling too.
"Don't worry, Wands. I'm not going anywhere."
//-//
After the ball, there is a new tension in your relationship with Wanda that makes you lose focus on anything other than her. 
Gamora missed no opportunity to tease you about this. And every time she caught you casting passionate glances at Wanda, or the other way around, you got a wry comment to get a room. It was harmless, but it made you and Wanda both blush like tomatoes.
The best change was the kisses. 
They could happen suddenly, or be almost planned. Wanda liked to take you by surprise, you could tell. Stealing firm kisses between corridors that made you blush and clumsy, or kisses when you spent time together with your friends, and her hand slipped into yours. 
You loved all the kisses she wanted to give you. But you had your favorites. The ones that happened when you were alone, and all you could think about was Wanda. They were usually planned, because to have free time, without friends, you need a little organization. So they usually happened when you went to Hogsmeade together, or when you helped her study for the tournament. It was amazing to finish a study session with Wanda's mouth on yours.
But you knew you still needed to talk to her. You were afraid you would lose the kisses if you did.
As the date for the second assignment approached, Wanda began to get anxious, because you all still hadn't deciphered the golden egg clue.
At that moment you were in the Slytherin communal room, sitting cross-legged on the floor with many books around you. Wanda was lying on the couch, a book enchanted to be at her eye level. Gamora and Nebula in the armchairs, also reading. You are trying to find some clue to decipher the egg.
"We've tried the basic open and close spells, right?" Gamora asks without taking her eyes off the book, probably reading about what she mention. 
"Of course." Wanda replies. She sighs in frustration the next moment, taking the enchanted book off her face, and closing it in her lap. You move your hand to hers, trying to reassure her. "I need to figure this out soon, because the task is in a few weeks."
"We will." You tell her with a smile.
"Just out of curiosity, what happens if you don't break out the clue?" Nebula asks and Wanda sighs.
"I won't have any idea what the second task is about and I won't know how to prepare."  She replies. "And then I'll lose and be humiliated in front of the whole school. Feel free to drown me in the great lake if that happens."
Wanda's dramatization makes you all laugh, but then you get an idea and your expression fades. Wanda, who was watching you, looks at you curiously, but you are already getting up, hurrying to get the golden egg that was on the couch.
"What are you going to do?" Gamora asked, as curious as the other girls. You walked over to one of the aquariums and held the egg up high.
"Sorry, folks." You said to the fish, and then opened the clasp. The shrill noise filled the room, but before the girls could complain, you dipped the egg into the water and the sound stopped.
You leaned forward and could hear the low melody.
"I can' believe it." You grumbled contentedly, and then dipped your head into the water. Your friends looked at you with wide eyes.
"Has she finally lost her mind?" Nebula sneered at the other two.
When you surfaced again, you had a smile on your face.
"Girls, it's the merpeople!" You counted excitedly. "That's the clue. I can't believe we stared at the great lake all this time and didn't come up with this idea."
Natasha entered the communal hall next, and when she saw your wet torso, she frowned.
" Should I ask...?" She began with mild irony, watching you take the egg from the aquarium and return to the couches, the water dripping all over the hall.
"She just deciphered the egg!" Wanda warned contentedly, and when you approached, she ran her hands down your neck and gave you a lingering kiss, and you almost dropped the egg on the floor.
"For merlin, get a room." Nat teased before Gamora could do it, and you and Wanda parted with giggles.
You used the wand to dry your body and the floor, returning the egg to Wanda. Nat sat down in one of the free armchairs.
After you finished cleaning up, you repeated the lyrics of the song to them. 
"Does that mean you're going to be underwater for an hour?" Nebula questioned in surprise to Wanda, and the girl sighed.
"I guess so." She replied thoughtfully. "And now I'm going to need to figure out a way to do that."
"If you were an animagus, you could turn into a fish." Nat mocked making the group smile. 
"I thought you'd have a better resistance to holding your breath, Wands. Since you're kissing all the time." Nebula added and Gamora and Nat laughed, while you rolled your eyes awkwardly, and Wanda raised her middle finger at the girl, her cheeks flushed.
"Let's focus, please." Asked the sorceress in front of you, embarrassed by the teasing.
"Yes, yes." Gamora agreed, gesturing. She settled herself in the armchair before speaking again. "I think you could use some plants. I'm sure Mantis must know some herb that will make you breathe underwater."
"Speaking of Mantis, where is she?" Nat asked and you turned your head in her direction.
"She has private lessons with Professor Heimdall, Tasha." You explained. "Of divination. She's pretty good, I think."
Nat murmurs in understanding, and Wanda says she will talk to Mantis about it when she is free. You gather up the books, and decide to spend some time playing chess and drinking tea now that you no longer have to worry about unraveling the egg.
//-//
You miss many opportunities to tell Wanda about your connection with her. That's because you have too many moments alone, between conversations and make-out sessions, and you just don't tell. And the feeling of keeping something from her corrupts you inside, but you bear it.
And then the date for the second task comes, and you're a nervous wreck, and Wanda doesn't understand why you're especially affectionate this morning, but she's not complaining.
Mantis got some kind of plant for her, which would give Wanda enough time to stay submerged as long as necessary.
You and the girls had also practiced swimming in the great lake with Wanda many times since the day you discovered the clue. And the vision of Wanda in her swimsuit was still preserved somewhere in your mind.
"Have you seen Pietro anywhere?" Wanda asked annoyed, looking around as you all had breakfast. The vast majority of the school was already on their feet as well, excited for the start of the task.
"I last saw him last night, after we went to Quidditch practice." Quill counters distractedly, passing jam on one of the toasts. 
"You two had worked things out, right?" You ask as you are sitting next to Wanda, she nods and then sighs.
"I think so." She mumbles. "I wanted to see him before the task."
You bite the inside of your cheek, not knowing how to help her. It was already time to leave, and you hoped that Pietro wouldn't be so stubborn to stay away from his sister on this day. You kept your hand intertwined in Wanda's all the way, trying to assure her, and she was very grateful.
The clue was right after all. The whole school was carried to the middle of the lake through the boats, up to huge iron bleachers that were conjured up during the night. 
"You look so cute in that uniform." You comment in Wanda's ear before bidding her farewell to go up to the bleachers, talking about the Slytherin competition uniform, and smiling at the way her cheeks redden. "Be careful, Wands."
"I will." She assures before kissing you. She joins the champions and you look at her one last time before going upstairs to join the rest of the students.
When Principal Harkness announces the start of the task, after explaining that an important treasure had been taken from the champions and they would need to find it in the lake, you stand with your body tense with nervousness, clenching your hands on the railing as you look down.  The whistle sounds and you hold your breath as you watch Wanda dive in. 
"Hey, are you going to be okay?" Gamora asks next to you, placing her hand on top of yours on the metal. You swallow dryly, looking away from the lake to her.
"I will." You say trying to force a smile. "As long as she does."
Gamora looks at you a moment, assessing your face.
"I'm sure Wanda will be fine." She says. 
You nod, looking down again. Now all that was left to do was wait.
//-//
"Did you hear what Tony just said?" 
You blinked a few times. You were in the circle with your friends in the bleachers, and you got distracted again by looking at the lake. Everyone was anxiously awaiting the return of the champions to the surface, talking among themselves and placing bets on the winners. Tony's friends joined in as soon as the task began.
"Sorry, Gamora." You say. "What?"
"Natasha is missing too." She says and you frown in confusion looking at the rest of the group. 
"What?"
"Pietro and Tasha, Y/N." Gamora says. "Tony just said they were supposed to meet last night, but she didn't show up. And no one saw her, just like Pietro."
You didn't know exactly what to make of that, but when you looked at the lake, you frowned.
"Gamora, you don't think that..."
"That's exactly what we're thinking." It is Tony who speaks now, looking at your expression and deciphering the idea that has gone through your head. "I just talked to the Durmstrang guys. One of their boys vanishes at night too, I think he's Grey's best friend."
You widened your eyes, and then leaned on the railing, looking down. Tony and Gamora mimicked your position.
"That's insane." Gamora commented, and you nodded in agreement.
"What happens if the champions lose the task?" Tony asked and you shook your head, not liking the possibility.
"I'm sure Professor Harkness wouldn't let anything bad happen." You say. "Right?"
Gamora and Tony murmur in agreement, and you find that your words were more to reassure you than to reassure them.
//-//
With thirty-eight minutes on the clock, Jean Grey emerged from the lake. And she was not alone.
The crowd started cheering as she and Scott Lang, as Harkness announced, swam out of the lake. Reporters from the Daily Prophet were also taking several pictures, and you noticed the Durmstrang flags in the hands of some students.
Your friends seemed reassured to see Scott's condition, deducing that Pietro and Natasha would also be fine. You only felt more nervous because Wanda was still at the lake.
Twelve minutes after Jean, it was Maria Hill's turn to step up. The crowd celebrated as they watched the remainder of her transfiguration into a shark before she returned to human form, bringing Nat with her. You and your friends rushed downstairs to Tasha, but you barely caught Gamora's teasing about the redhead being the treasure of the foreign student, as your gaze was on the lake while you were on the edge.
"Ten minutes to the end of the second task!" Announced one of the judges loudly, causing the crowd to cheer. You felt your stomach drop. Where was Wanda? 
And then you saw her. But only inside your head. 
It was another vision, and you felt your body go cold as if you were in the lake. It was dark and blue, and you couldn't breathe properly.
Then you blinked and were back in the stands.
With a sob, you jumped into the lake.
Immediately, as soon as you did, the crowd and the teachers looked at you with shock, but you dove in the next.
It was very cold.
The lake was as dark underneath as you thought it would be. And you were gradually running out of air as you sank, but you didn't care. You needed to find Wanda.
When you began to lose consciousness, you thought you saw a light, and struggled to swim a little further. But then your air ran out completely, and you passed out.
//-//
You woke up in a jolt, feeling like you were drowning. 
But you were warm, and lying on a soft surface. It took you a few seconds to realize that it was the bed in the infirmary.
The warmth came from the comforter at the level of your neck, clearly bewitching judging by the way it shimmered softly.
"Hey." It was Wanda. At your side. Safe. 
You moved out of the covers quickly, your hand reaching for hers on the bed.
"Hey, how are you feeling? You didn't get hurt did you?" The questions escaped your mouth faster than you even thought about them. Wanda had a frown on her face, but she squeezed your hand back and with the other she touched your face, and you leaned into the touch, feeling your body relax.
"I'm fine, I promise." She assures. "I just don't understand why you did that."
"Did what exactly?" You ask confused, trying to remember how you ended up in the infirmary. Had you hit your head somewhere?
Wanda looks at you with confusion.
"Jump in the lake." She clarified. "Why did you jump in the lake after me?"
You blinked in surprise, giving a short laugh.
"What are you talking about, Wands?" you asked. "I was watching you. Are you sure I didn't fall? Maybe I hit my head and..."
"You don't remember?" She interrupts in shock, and then lets out an incredulous sigh. "Okay, now I'm even more worried."
You were feeling your head aching, and you rubbed your fingers over the tip of your forehead a moment, before sighing.
"What happened to you in the task, anyway? You were gone long." 
Wanda looked away from yours, biting her lip.
"It was nothing." She grumbled and you frowned.
"Wanda..." You started. "Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying." She retorted snidely. But when she looked at you, she didn't keep her gaze and you sighed, letting go of her hand and throwing yourself back on the bed, feeling frustrated. "I just don't want you to think I'm weird."
You frown at the statement, turning your head to look at her again. Wanda takes a deep breath before confessing.
"I've been having visions in my head." 
You think you can laugh at the irony of the facts. Wanda takes advantage of your lack of reaction to continue explaining.
"S-started last year. I... I don't know what they mean, but sometimes they make me too distracted. And well, I had one during the task, and I got lost. So it took me a while to find Pietro, but I was fine." She recounts. "You didn't have to jump in the lake and..."
"I saw you." You interrupt half breathlessly. "In my head. I... I thought you were drowning." You recount recalling, feeling a slight pain deep in your eyes. "It was dark and I felt like I was being pulled under."
Wanda's eyes widen.
"I fought with Grindylows down there for a moment." She says. "They tried to pull me to the bottom, and well, it was quite despairing, but I managed to take them on. It was right after I got lost."
"R-right."
Both of you are silent for a moment, your breaths slightly uncompensated as you try to understand exactly what it all means. You clear your throat deciding to break the silence.
"Wanda, what happened to me?" 
"You almost drowned." She says lowering her gaze to the bed. "I found you on the way back. Unconscious." Wanda counters with watery eyes. "For a moment I thought..."
She sighs softly, controlling the urge to cry by shaking her head slightly and forcing a smile. You feel horrible for worrying her like that.
"Heimtall and Strange jumped into the lake a little later behind you. I guess everyone thought you were playing tricks, but when you didn't climb back up they realized something was wrong. I was trying to carry you along with Pietro when they caught up with us."
"Come here." You ask opening your arms and Wanda climbs on the bed, sinking against you. You both immediately relax from the embrace, and you close your eyes as Wanda buries her face in your neck, running her hands behind your back.
"Please don't ever do anything like that again." She whispers against your skin, and you swallow dryly. Judging from the facts, you can't promise her that.
//-//
Your friends came to visit you in the infirmary too. You had a short episode of hypothermia, so Nurse Cho wanted you to rest and had let only Wanda stay to see you. Everyone had agreed that you would like to see her first. 
Tony told the teachers and judges that he had dared you to jump in the lake, and even though your friends didn't understand why Tony didn't want the adults to know what was going on with you lately, they all backed up the story.
You and Tony ended up with a month's detention for this.
The only relatively good thing about this whole story was that you and Wanda shared the same experiences. You told her about your visions and nightmares, and she told you about hers. Visions of red lights as her powers, and masked witches. 
You talked to Wanda about your connection on a rainy Thursday in May. You both were on your bed in the dormitory, a few spell books between you to finish the lesson Professor Stephen had passed on, and Wanda was concentrating, the strands of brown hair falling down her face as she bit the end of her pencil and read the words in front of you. She was beautiful, and you were in love. And you could no longer hide it.
"I need to tell you something." 
Wanda looked at you with a mildly surprised expression, but smiled, shifting on the bed to look at you.
You watched her expression go from confused, to embarrassed, and then to worried in a few seconds after the words "There's something weird going on with me. I think I'm magically connected to you, and I'm not just talking about liking you" came out of your mouth. And then you told about the way you felt every time you thought of her in danger, and Wanda swallowed dryly, looking away.
"I don't know what to say." She confessed clumsily, and then clasped her hands to her face for a moment in frustration. "Shit, I have no idea what that means."
You sighed, reaching out to reach for her hand on the bed. Wanda watched your fingers together, and you frowned as her eyes filled with tears.
"I'm putting you in danger, aren't I?" She asked in a whisper, and you looked at her with confusion, but she didn't wait for you to speak. "I'm talking about the lake. You almost drowned to follow me. What happens if I get hurt?"
"Wanda..."
"No." She interrupts forcing a smile, and releasing his hand. "Do you realize how dangerous magical connections can be? What happens if, I don't know, the third task is even more dangerous? Will you throw yourself in front of some other monster? How far does it go? I don't want your life to depend on mine!"
Wanda stands up, babbling nervously about things that might happen, and you look at her in surprise, standing up as well. You try to touch her shoulder, but she pushes your hand away.
"Do you even know if you really like me? If it isn't just because of the magic?" She accuses and you take a step back.
"Don't say that." You retort starting to feel irritated and hurt.
"No, I mean it." She repeats in a whiny voice. "How can you be sure your feelings are real? It could just be the magic and.... "
"I am in love with you." You interrupt, but Wanda just shakes her head in disbelief, letting the tears flow. When you try to touch her again, she sobs and pulls away. "Wanda, I really am. Please..."
"Stop." She gasps as she pulls further away. "Just stop." She asks and you hold yourself in place, feeling your face wet. Wanda takes a deep breath, wiping away her tears. "I need time. I don't...I don't know what to make of this right now."
You swallow dryly, looking at her in shock.
"I don't want us to end." You say and Wanda just sobs softly, shaking her head.
"I can't stay with you without knowing if what you feel for me is real." She retorts in a voice hoarse from crying, but her gaze doesn't flinch. Your stomach turns the wrong way, because you feel terrible. "I need time to think. And I can't think with you by my side."
"Wanda..."
"I'm sorry." 
Then she left. And you let the tears flow freely. 
//-//
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kyouxa · 3 years
Text
Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Shin Tsukinami (Story 12)
In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.
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Place: Abandoned house — Outside
Yui: (Yesterday I was apparently the first one to fall asleep. Was I really that tired though?)
Kino: How nice. C’mon, it’s hot now.
It’s some food I’ve been stealing beforehand, so please eat it as carefully as you can.
Yui: Kino-kun, thank you.
Shin: Did you steal things like this before us knowing about it too?
Kino: I might’ve taken some while you two were resting a bit.
For once, I wasn’t just playing around as you see.
Shin: No, that’s an extension of playing around, don’t you think?
Kino: Meanie. I only brought it with me because I thought that girl might be hungry to begin with. 
Yui: Really? Thank you for your concern then.
Kino: Ah, yeah! I also found something really interesting while I was searching for food!
I want to show it to Shin, so wait here for a hot minute. I’ll go get it.
*Kino leaves*
Shin: What could be so interesting? Well, whatever. I shouldn’t be surprised about anything that guy pulls up anymore.
Go on, you can eat without holding back now. You’re hungry, aren’t you?
Yui: Yep, after everything that happened, I really am. Thanks for the food! 
Ah, it’s hot… ! 
(The meat is really hot because it was freshly roasted… !)
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Shin: You’re not a child anymore, so eat more calmly than that. Nobody’s taking it away from you after all.
Yui: Yes, you’re right. 
...Nn, it hurts… it looks like I burnt my tongue
Shin: Haa. Your clumsiness is showing, seriously.
*Shin gets closer*
Shin: Alright, show me your tongue. I have to check on it before it might get even worse.
Yui: Eh!? I’m fine, really! It’s not that big of a deal.
Shin: If it gets worse you’ll suffer deterioration. It’s better to show me yourself before I’m forced to pull your tongue out myself, right?
Yui: (Uhh… it’s no use, but I still hate it… let’s see)
Fine, I get it. I’ll show you myself.
Shin: What? I would’ve been fine with pulling it out myself as well.
Yui: No, thanks… ! Alright, Nn…
*Yui shows tongue*
Shin: Ah, it’s getting really red.
Should I take care of it? It would heal way faster like that, don’t you think?
Yui: Eh!? No! You don’t have to go that far, I’m fine.
Shin: You shouldn’t decline. I would be glad to help you out for the sake of it healing faster. 
Yui: T-That’s not...
Shin: Perhaps you would rather want to be bitten by my fangs than simply being treated? Well, if that’s so you could’ve told me earlier.
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Yui: That’s not what I asked for… ! 
Shin: Looks as if the third wheel’s about to come back. I’ll settle this now or never then.
Nn…
*Shin kisses Yui*
Yui: Nn…
Shin: Kuku, your face is bright red. You’re still shy even if it’s just kissing.
If you don’t get used to it, there might be some difficulties in the future.
Yui: It’s embarrassing to me, therefore I can’t help it, okay… !?
Kino: ...Ahem, Ahem! 
Yui: Ah, Kino-kun! You’re back!
Kino: Yep, I’m back. Ah, don’t worry about me, just keep going.
*Shin backs off*
Shin: We can’t easily continue now. There’s nothing more we’re gonna show you either.
Kino: How lewd. Well, whatever. Apart from that, I want you to look at this. 
*Kino gets closer*
Yui: Ah, talking about it, you wanted to show us something interesting, right… ? 
Kino: Hm, yep! Tada, look at this! It’s a caricature of Shin! 
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Yui: Eh? Of Shin-kun?
Shin: Uwah! Where did you get this from!?
Kino: I found it when exploring the Orange mansion. I brought it reflexively with me because it was kinda an amazing sketch, in my opinion.
Hey, did you draw this? I found it in Shin-kun’s room, but...
Shin: T-That’s...
Yui: But it looks really good. Did Shin-kun draw this all by himself?
Shin: It’s not like that. Because I had no time to do it myself, I let a familiar draw it for me instead.
Kino: Hmm, so it’s a portrait? As expected from a founder, they really act differently.
But even so, do you really like yourself that much? This portrait is way prettier than you actually are though.
Shin: Shut up! I mean, you’re not beautifaction yourself in person either! I at least let them draw me faithfully.
I’m totally fine with how this turned out. We have to talk about way more important things than that anyway. 
Kino: Yep, Yep. Let’s talk seriously about this matter from now on. Does any of you got something?
Shin: I… I want to regain my brother’s memory.
After I first got to observe the situation, I immediately felt as if it’s an impossible task. We met each other face to face several times, yet I haven’t noticed any change in him.
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Yui: Shin-kun…
Kino: Well, guess so. 
Shin: So I think it’s best to find a way to get out of here first, before trying anything with him again.
Kino: Don’t you think that this is also difficult? We’ve just been looking around the mansions for now, that’s it. And even there were no clues.
Shin: I know that. I just want to get out of this ridiculous place if possible. Maybe his memory would come back naturally then.
...I thought that if I can’t somehow shake his memory, they might be able to come back themselves by any chance.
Kino: By chance, huh? Does that mean you actually cared about what I said yesterday?
Shin: ...Not really.
Yui: Yesterday? 
(I wonder what happened while I was asleep?)
Shin: So, what’s it? Do you think it’s the opposite? 
Kino: No. As you said it yourself, I think it would be quicker to get out of here first.
Shin: Thought so. What do you think?
Choices
1) What about Carla-san then? (black)
2) I want to know how to escape (white)♡ ♡ ♡
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— What about Carla-san then? 
Yui: What about Carla-san then? You’re the one who wants him to remember the most after all.
Shin: It can’t be helped. I’m worried about my brother, yes, but I can’t let this be a constant priority that weighs on my mind. 
Yui: You’re right. As long as Shin-kun’s fine, I think it would be better to find an escape route first too.
Kino: Aight, it’s unanimous.
— I want to know how to escape♡
Yui: I think it would be best to find a way to escape from here first as well. Maybe Carla-san’s memory will come back once we escape.
Shin: Right? It wouldn’t make sense if we meaninglessly return home without all of their memories coming back to them. We, Kino and everyone else.
Yes, that would be a reason to postpone my brother. This is what we should aim for in the future...
Yui: (He’s speaking to us as if he’s entirely trying to convince himself about this)
(Maybe Shin-kun really wants to go and actually see Carla-san as soon as possible)
(I can’t get this feeling of them wanting to desperately kill us off either though…)
It’ll be fine, Shin-kun. I’m sure this won’t last too long anymore.
Shin: Yes, it’ll be fine. I know that.
Alright, unanimity agreed to it then.
Yui: Yes.
Kino: Okey-doke.
end Choices
Shin: That’s settled then.
Kino: I guess he’ll be able to manage his memory somehow or another. If I could go back to my original house, Yuri would probably help me for sure.
Yui: Yuri-san?
Kino: He’s my loyal servant. As soon as I get home from here, I’ll let him do some research in order to restore your brother's memory.
Shin: Yes, that would help a lot.
Kino: But, y’know… Even if we’re looking for an escape route, we have to first of all figure out how we were brought to this place 
Shin: It’s worse, especially since we know nothing about this place. If there are at least any hints somewhere...
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Yui: That’s true. It was also one of the reasons we went into each of the mansions...
Shin: Seriously, did you notice anything?
Yui: What I noticed—
*flashbacks*
Yui: Ah! Speaking of that—
Shin: What?
Yui: Each of the mansions had the exact amounts of chess pieces on their chess boards
Shin: Now that you mention it, I do think I noticed one standing in the living room of the Orange mansion once...
Kino: Ah, there was also one in Scarlet’s mansion.
Yui: I remember there was also one in the Violet mansion. Besides, the floor of the church also has a checkered pattern of black and white marble—
Kino: Like a chessboard.
Yui: Yes!
Shin: I see. But what exactly does this have to do with this? Both are probably just there as decorations.
Kino: No, I doubt that it’s just for decoration… I see now.
Yui: Kino-kun, did you figure something out?
Kino: I wouldn’t call it “figure”. It’s just that I thought of something...
We were forcibly dumbed off in this unknown place and also got a fake memory. In my opinion, this all seems as if it’s definitely someone’s work.
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Shin: So you’re saying there’s a mastermind?
Kino: Exactly. If there’s an ongoing game, there also has to be a mastermind behind it.
Us, as the players, were given those hints to probably keep this as interesting as we can.
Shin: Hah? In other words— ...Nn!
Yui: Shin-kun? What’s wrong? Why did you suddenly stand up?
*Shin sniffs air*
Shin: Hnff
Damn it! We’re surrounded!
Yui: Eh… !?
Ayato: Guess we finally found you, traitors!
Kanato: You did terrible things to us, remember? There is no way we would let you kidnap Eve and then join hands with the enemy—
Yui: (Ayato-kun! Kanato-kun! And—)
Ruki: —Shin, I get it now…
I would’ve never expected for my most trusted person to end up betraying me as simple as that.
Shin: Ru… Brother…
Ruki: A traitor, such as yourself, has no right to call me his brother any longer!
Yui: ...Nn!
Shin: It’s useless even if I’ll try to explain. But I never intended to look as if I was about to betray you or anything, I swear.
I know you were a good brother, even if you’ve never been my real older brother in the end...
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Ruki: I’ve got no idea about what strange things you’re blabbering, yet the confirmation of you being here is fact enough.
It doesn’t change the situation, even if you start coming up with excuses.
Ayato: Hey, Ruki! Let’s take these guys out quickly!
Kanato: That’s right. Let’s rightfully punish them. I’ll tear them into pieces once I get my hands around them.
Yui: (What should we do now? If we’re doing nothing, they’ll start a battle—! Am I really not able to somehow avoid this?)
Kino: Shin, what do we do?
Shin: The only ones with fighting skills are you and me. It would be 3 vs 2...
Kino: Besides, it would be a battle while we’d also have to try to protect the girl from being taken away from us.
Yui: (What should I do… I’m holding them back from what they have to do because I’m with them)
Shin: We have no choice, seems as if we really have to confront our problems head-on and fight them.
Kino: Eh? That’s not true. If you transform yourself into a wolf, you could carry her and easily run away.
Shin: Hah? I can’t just do that!
Kino: ...Why not? Do you really have to complain about my strategy now?
Shin: My back is limited to only giving one of you a ride! I don’t know if you’d be able to get away without me helping you!
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Kino: ...Nn!! What… why would you say something like that…
*Kino mumbles*
Kino: Ahh… I guess I have no choice but to save you as a repayment now too. 
Yui: ….. ?
Shin: So instead of running away, I’d like to break through this in our own ways...
Kino: No, we’re gonna avoid confronting them head-on and not fight them. We’re changing strategies.
Shin: Hah? Why change them so late...
Kino: Ready? When I’ll give you the signal, you have to run.
Shin: Eh? What do you mean?
Kino: With this, we’ll easily be able to get away right in front of them… you guys, close your eyes and noses! 
*Kino throws something*
Ayato: What the!? What did he throw!?
Kanato: A pouch… ?
Ruki: ...Nn! That’s not just a mere pouch. Close your eyes and hold your breath!
*pouch explodes*
Kanato: Ahem, Ahem, Ahem
Ayato: Ngh! What’s going on here!? I can’t see shit anymore! Ahem, Ahem.
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Ruki: Kch… Ayato, Kanato can you see the enemy? 
Ayato: Don’t bullshit me! I can’t see anything!
Shin: Damn, that guy’s really something. But he saved us! We only have to run away now!
Yui: (Shin-kun’s voice!)
Where? Where are you? I can’t see anything! 
Shin: Over here!
*Shin grabs Yui*
Yui: (The one holding my hand right now… it’s Shin-kun!)
Kino: Hurry, both of you! 
Yui: (I also heard Kino-kun’s voice. I’m sure I’ll be fine as long as I follow the sound of their voices— !)
Place: Outside — Forest
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Yui: Haa… Haa… Haa—
Shin: Haa… Haa…
Kino: Haa, Haa…
Shin: Kino, what was that about?
Kino: It was a wheat bomb.
Yui: Huh!?
Kino: I secretly made it when we were in the Violet mansion back then. All I did was wrap the smoldering wheat in a cloth, get it?
Shin: And you really made that yourself? You’re an unexpectedly shrewd guy.
Yui: Thanks to that, we were saved! Thank you, Kino-kun!  
Kino: I have to admit… I’d love to hear you praise me more, but we have to worry about running away first! 
Yui: (Seriously, it’s all thanks to Kino-kun that we’re safe right now. He’s a really good person after all)
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darkcircles4lyfe · 3 years
Text
retrospective & predictions
Since we're on a hiatus week (between 320 and 321) I feel like waxing poetic about the depth and growth of bkdk for a bit. Especially because it seems like we’re right on the edge of their biggest development yet, I’m getting the urge to lay all my perspectives and insights I’ve picked up from others out on the table. This is ultimately only my subjective interpretation of subtextual material in canon, though. If you’ve never quite understood what people see in their dynamic and you’re actually open to hearing me out, maybe from this you can at least see where we’re coming from. And if you don’t like my takes after all, well, we’ll see who’s right in the coming chapters, won’t we? What I have to say can be taken platonically or romantically; I appreciate both. 
putting it under the cut, since it’ll be long:
At the risk of projecting, I want to start by examining a couple things based partly on personal experience.
From many different directions, I often hear people expressing that Deku’s persistent attachment and admiration for Bakugou is baffling at best. Despite the bullying, despite Bakugou’s loud, rude, and uncompromising personality, he still puts effort into their relationship and frequently describes him as amazing. It seems like Deku himself is aware of this as he’s said things along the lines of how he’s difficult, BUT... etc. Although I don’t think it’s exactly that Deku finds Bakugou’s personality hard to be around, but that he’s deliberately expressing patience for Bakugou’s emotional turmoil. 
I have to say I know what this sort of patience is like, as I went through it with someone I love. I only chose to put up with their behavior because I decided the possibility of what our relationship could be was worth it. I wasn’t blind or submissive to how they treated me, and I wasn’t coerced. I simply expressed myself and established my boundaries while still allowing them the opportunity to join me in my world once they got over their own hangups. And guess what? It worked out in the end. That doesn’t mean there aren’t circumstances where it’s better to cut ties, but I want to stress that true reconciliation is possible sometimes. I used to worry that other people around me thought I was delusional for seeking it, but what really helped was my therapist reminding me that I’m smart and strong. So I think Deku deserves to feel the same. In a way this is his whole mission in life, his approach to being a hero as well as his personal relationships.
Let me also be clear though that I don’t mean Deku is only tolerating Bakugou’s personality, his mannerisms, the parts of him that will likely never change. I’m drawing a line between those things and his emotional state (they so rarely align anyway, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, I think Bakugou’s general attitude is part of what Deku admires. This is gonna be hard to explain without inserting personal experience too, sorry. As a writer myself I’ve noticed I’m drawn to writing characters that are brazen and bold and don't mind telling people off. Really it’s because I operate in the world in the polar opposite way. I try not to draw attention to myself, I’m quiet, and I’m a people-pleaser. People who project confidence, especially in an impolite sort of way, fascinate me. It’s good to take cultural context into account, too: I've heard people who’d know better than me that part of the reason Bakugou is the most popular character in the Japanese fandom is likely because he contradicts a lot of their social norms. His disregard is refreshing and cathartic. I can speculate that Deku has a similar point of view based on what he thinks but does not admit about Bakugou being his image of victory and how this sometimes makes him mimic Bakugou’s speech and mannerisms: 
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There’s also the bit in this fight where Deku realizes he's the only one able to receive Bakugou’s emotions. This is because he’s the most intimately familiar with him and his situation, but I think there’s another layer. Deku, as we know, has a self-sacrificing tendency, and in the current chapters we’re seeing the worst side of that. But let’s also not forget that to an extent, it can be a positive trait: resilience. When it comes to Bakugou, he has an almost comical ability to dodge the potential fallout of his outbursts. The example we all jump to (and fight about..) is how in ch1, apart from the initial shock of Bakugou suggesting he jump off the roof, the most he reacts is to criticize him for saying such a ridiculous thing. However, I think their interaction post- sludge villain is a lot more interesting:
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Note two things: 1, in his head, Deku is practically making fun of how Bakugou’s acting as he stomps away without waiting for a reply. It doesn’t faze him. 2, Deku thinks, optimistically, that he can now focus on a different career choice. This is astonishing really. Up to this point, none of Bakugou’s attempts to put him down have worked; he just kept pursuing his dream. The only reason Deku concedes in this moment it because for the first time, he has been shown that he really couldn't do anything in a fight against a villain. All Might told him he couldn't be a hero (although he’s literally about to take that back in the next few pages lol) and the other heroes at the scene gave him a lecture about it too. It was those experiences, and not Bakugou’s words, that truly affected him. And when All Might tells Deku he can be a hero after all, it’s not thinking of Bakugou’s bullying that makes him sob and fall to his knees, it’s the memory of his own mom never telling him those words he so desperately needed to hear. Having spent most of their lives together, Deku must have been aware all this time that Baukgou was influenced by larger societal forces rather than a core judgement, so he didn’t take it personally. He separated the person from the action, and because he’s resilient and patient, he is thus equipped to handle Bakugou’s emotions. It’s a testament to his maturity and emotional intelligence, really. 
But I can almost hear some of you saying, “that doesn’t mean Deku should have to be the bigger person here!” Correct! Just because Deku is perfectly alright bearing all of that, doesn’t mean atonement-era Bakugou sees it this way. We can track his awareness of Deku’s care and selflessness as follows-
The bridge scene, when they’re little kids: Bakugou conflates Deku’s heroism with pity, and subsequently thinks Deku is looking down on him because Bakugou’s own insecurity makes him defensive.
The Sludge Villain, and also Deku vs. Kacchan Part 1: Bakugou witnesses first-hand how easily Deku jumps to risk his own life, but still thinks he’s being looked down on. 
The Sports Festival: Bakugou fights Uraraka and recognizes her endurance strategy and refusal to give up as very Deku-like. He’s half right. He thinks Deku advised her in the fight, when in reality she just mimicked Deku because she admired him. I want to draw attention to his very sober comment about her not being frail. It’s a great endearment of Uraraka’s character and Bakugou’s respect for her when others didn’t take “fighting a girl” seriously, but it also reflects on his opinion of Deku. Deku isn’t weak either. He never was.
Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2: Deku finally corrects him about the whole looking-down-on-him thing, and Bakugou is informed that Deku’s selflessness is in fact the reason All Might chose him. Since Bakugou had been in search of what he himself was “doing wrong” for All Might to favor Deku over him, he now has to reconcile the fact that selflessness is a heroic trait, and moreover something he lacks. This is also possibly the first time Bakugou is able to see his past actions toward Deku as bullying since he previously thought it was more mutual. Additionally, Bakugou can now link Deku’s selfless behavior to what he perceived as pity/contempt, and realize that Deku has been giving him A LOT of grace. Maybe too much. Maybe more than Bakugou deserves, and definitely more than Deku should have to. Holy heck- now Bakugou has to figure out how to live up to all the faith that’s been placed in him. 
Subtextually, we can see Bakugou’s feelings about atonement reflected in the Todoroki family:
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1, Shouto is another example of Deku growing a friendship using his selflessness (since their fight in the sports festival) and their relationship is being acknowledged here where it hasn’t been in Bakugou’s situation. Perhaps Bakugou is wishing it could be so simple for him, to be able to thank him for being his friend like that. Deku saying the pleasure is all his also probably calls to mind how a mere apology from Bakugou would probably be dismissed because that’s just the kind of accommodating person Deku is. Bakugou has to operate more quietly in order to actually make up for their past. I personally don’t interpret this scene as Bakugou being jealous of Deku and Shouto’s friendship, exactly, just the lack of emotional baggage. Side note, Deku and Fuyumi are kinda similar in their desire to repair relationships. I like that she’s the one to give him some credit. 
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2, With the common terminology, this can be interpreted as Bakugou receiving a model for atonement, one that is about action, and nothing to do with receiving favor or forgiveness. It’s a sense of duty. 
Many of the above sentiments are repeated in the flashback conversation between All Might and Bakugou right before Bakugou’s sacrifice. 
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Bakugou acknowledges his bullying and that it happened because of his own insecurities, but aside from that, it’s interesting he neither confirms nor denies All Might’s suggestion that he’s trying to atone, or that Deku doesn’t see it that way. All Might is a bit of an unreliable mentor sometimes, but I don’t think he’s misreading here. Rather, Bakugou is displaying his tendency to hold back when talking about things that would make him really emotional. Besides, admitting to what he’s doing kind of defeats the purpose. He isn’t seeking acknowledgement. All Might has gotten to the crux of the issue here when pointing out that Deku doesn’t recognize the atonement, likely because Deku doesn't think Bakugou even needs to atone. Am I reading into it too much to say Bakugou looks wistful at this? It’s kinda frustrating sometimes trying to interpret Bakugou’s actions because he’s so paradoxical. Loud and in your face, but also extremely reserved. Sometimes I feel like I’m grasping at thin air, but hey, being hard to figure out is part of his intrigue as a character. The simplest way to look at him is to assume that unless he’s really showing vulnerability, he’s probably deflecting and hiding something.
Speaking of Bakugou’s tendency to to hold back emotional stuff, there’s his apparent lack of issue with Deku calling him Kacchan. Maybe to begin with, in his warped perception of things where he thought they hated each other, Bakugou saw it as Deku’s way of getting back at him for calling him “useless,” and didn't dare give any indication that it actually bothered him. However... consider how betrayed Bakugou has appeared when he was noticeably thinking Deku was looking down on him- the bridge scene, and the beginning of their first year at UA when he thought Deku was hiding a quirk all along. He looks shocked and hurt. That kind of emotion couldn’t be invoked by someone Bakugou didn’t actually care about his relationship with. “Kacchan” comes from a long time ago, before their relationship was strained, so it’s connotations are pure. Maybe somewhere deep down, Bakugou has always been hoping that Deku’s continued use of the nickname was not simply a matter of habit or teasing, but a vestige of friendship they’re both clinging to, and Bakugou himself was too afraid to admit to himself that he felt this way about it, so he mostly ignored it. (These are not original thoughts I am having here lol, this is a common interpretation. I’m just laying everything out like I said.) 
And now we turn to the current situation. Personally, I’ve been looking frantically back and forth between them wondering who’s going to break down first (Deku vs. Kacchan Part 3, this time it’s just a fight to get the other person to cry? ha.) Both have looked like they’re approaching a breaking point for some time. Also, I’ve addressed this before, but I think it’s significant that Bakugou is no longer wearing his mask with his hero costume, in contrast to Deku recently donning his own. It feels symbolic of Bakugou about to be upfront about how he feels.
The question is, what is it going to take to get Deku to accept help? If you ask me, Deku has dug himself so deeply into the I’m-doing-this-for-everyone-else’s-safety-and-smiles hole, no common sense argument can possibly reach him. By the end of 320, Deku’s mask is off, and we can see how desperate he truly is. But he has not cried, yet. I predict we’re going to see a bit more of his defiance, this time on full display on his face as the remaining class members and his other friends take their turns. But then I think Bakugou has to be the one to break down so Deku can witness his actions having the opposite effect he intended. People have been pointing out that Deku is currently ignoring Bakugou, and oof, that’s gotta be intentional. Regardless of what Bakugou says, it’s going to be wrapped up not only in his understanding of Deku’s self-sacrifice, but also the betrayal Bakugou feels at being ignored/left behind that ironically echoes his previous perception of being looked down on, as well as a need to express how much he cares about Deku before it’s too late. He must show that the two of them are inseparable because they both act to save each other without thinking, and both feel like losing the other would be like dying themselves. All Might may have been right when he told them they could learn from each other after Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2, but he didn’t fully realize that idea by making sure they stuck by each other for support and balance. 
I can’t wait to see what it’ll be like when they do finally get to that point, totally in synch and in tune with each other. They’ll be a powerful force no one is quite prepared for. Who knows when that will be, or even which chapter will be their big showdown, but I know the day is coming.
To speculate even further, I think the 2nd user is going to be really important really soon. And no I don’t mean to suggest that the 2nd user is Bakugou. But I do think their resemblance is key. Okay this is gonna be convoluted...
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See how 2nd is the only one still standing? I think that’s symbolic of him withholding his quirk. Deku may not even know what it is at this point, let alone have unlocked it. Given that 2nd approves of Deku’s strategy at this point, it seems odd for him to withhold his quirk based on lack of faith. I think if his quirk was something that would help Deku in combat, he would have shown it to him already like the others did. So what if those gauntlets of his are support items that are meant to make up for his lack of a combat-oriented quirk, rather than to augment it? Mind you, I still have no idea what his mysterious power might be, but I’m dead set on it not being explosion-y. Regardless, I think 2nd looking like Bakugou is more about aiding some grand visual parallel, so! You know how 2nd and 3rd were probably intending to do away with Yoichi but 2nd changed his mind as soon as they made eye contact? This is really a long shot, but I wonder if 2nd’s quirk has something to do with that exchange. Maybe it’s something psychological, or some 6th sense about people he meets. So... in that way 2nd’s quirk could play a role in bkdk reaching a deeper understanding? Idk! But it could be significant at least that 2nd left Yoichi’s question about why he reached out to him unanswered. 
One more thing- while I was gathering screenshots I found this. I think “you’re the last one I’m telling” might be foreshadowing for Bakugou revealing his hero name to Deku and it being a Big Deal:
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As for other lingering threads in the overall plot right now, such as the UA traitor, Stain, whatever Tsuyu is apparently about to do, All Might’s car maybe in the background of the last page of 320... man I have no idea. All I know is there’s literally 320 chapters’ worth of build-up to this confrontation that can’t be interrupted. 
See you next week <3
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babybluebex · 3 years
Text
sugar pie, honey bunch [lee bodecker smut]
➽ pairing: lee bodecker x fem!reader(y/n) ➽ word count: 4.3k ➽ summary: lee gets tired of your secret rendezvous at work, so he comes to your house and does something about it.   ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), daddy kink, degradation, infidelity by both parties, loss of virginity, mentions of anal sex ➽ a/n: if you know me irl no u don’t <3
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It was quiet. Too quiet. I hated that. The silence let my thoughts run amok and that was never good for anybody, but least of all me. I had a tendency to overthink things, and quiet and still only amplified that. Knockemstiff, Ohio was the absolute worst place to live if you hated silence, because nothing happened in that little town. About twelve years ago, there had been a veteran who killed himself after his wife died, but that was the loudest thing that had ever happened to my little Knockemstiff. I should know; I worked as a secretary at the police station. I heard all of the gossip from around town. Earlier today, someone had been arrested for being drunk, which I think everyone in Knockemstiff could be in violation of. Every other day was quiet. It was hell. 
I could hear the crickets way out in the fields as I walked around the house. Those bugs served as my soundtrack as I found a box of matches and quietly slid a few into my mouth, and I padded through the house until I reached the front door. Knockemstiff was the sort of town where people didn’t use their front doors unless the Pope was showing up; it was all side doors and garages (if you were lucky enough to have one, which most of us didn’t). All that to say, I knew I could smoke by the front door and nobody would smell it. 
The night was hot. Oppressive and stifling, nearly suffocating. My skin was tacky against my nightshirt as I struck a match and lit a cigarette, and I leaned up against the side of the house. The moon was full, casting silver light onto my barren front yard and the dirt road that stretched exactly from one side of town to the other that ran in front of the house. It was a weird sort of beautiful. But quiet. Oh so quiet. 
Quiet, until I heard the far-off rumbling of a car. It wasn’t unheard of to get visitors in the night-- usually someone coming to ask me about the police station, because nobody had the balls or willpower to call our sheriff after hours-- but the noise drew closer at a snail’s pace. Whoever this was wasn’t in any hurry at all. Finally, a car rolled up in front of the house, the headlights off. There was a moment where I watched the car, then I sighed when the door wrenched open to reveal Lee Bodecker. The sheriff was a nice enough guy, maybe at the risk of being too nice sometimes and a total prick at others, but I was at a loss for why the hell he’d be here this late at night with his cruiser’s lights off. If it were an urgent police matter, he’d have his flashing lights on. 
“You shouldn’t do that,” Sheriff Bodecker told me, his voice carrying across the yard. 
“Do what?” I quipped. 
His boots brushed the porch as he climbed the steps up, and I caught his eye in the moonlight. “Smoking’s unbecoming of a young woman,” Bodecker told me pointedly. “Anyway, it’s a bad habit.” 
“You come to lecture me on smoking?” I asked. “I ain’t quite finished typing up that arrest report yet, if that’s what you’re after.” 
“No, no,” Bodecker said. “Nah, I ain’t here for that, sugar.” 
“Oh?” I said, crossing my arms. “And what are you here for?” 
“We’ll get to that soon enough,” Bodecker said. “Ain’t you gonna invite me in? It’s awful late.” 
“Exactly why I’m not gonna do that,” I said quickly, taking an exaggerated drag on my cigarette. “People talk, Lee. Blowjobs in the supply closet during lunch break are one thing; showing up to my house unannounced at half past midnight is something else. And I ain’t gonna be no Whore of Knockemstiff, ya hear me? Run along. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
“Invite me in, Y/N,” Bodecker said, tilting his head down to look me in the eyes. Bodecker was imposing: six feet tall and sturdy as a mule, even if his middle was getting a little soft. He had these steel-blue eyes that cut right to my core and gorgeous eyelashes, with puffy pink lips and a little cleft in his chin. Maybe if he were ten years younger, thirty pounds lighter, with one less marriage, I’d be into him properly, but that wasn’t the case. Our relationship was one of necessity (but aren’t they all?). His pretty little wife had stopped sucking his cock and he had a thing for my pink lipstick. It worked. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy our little trysts, because I definitely did, but something felt off about this certain encounter. He had never paid me a visit at home before. “Be a good little host for me.” 
I huffed and stamped out my cigarette. “Come in, won’t you?” I grumbled, throwing open the squeaky screen door. It felt off to have Lee in my house, but everything about us was off. I guess this was only normal. 
I flipped the light on and settled myself against the counter as Lee pulled off his tan sheriff’s hat. His hair was dark as pitch, shorn short on all sides but getting a little long at the top, and little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes as he squinted at the pictures I had on the fridge. “And who’s this?” he asked, pressing his thumb into a picture. 
I looked at it and clenched my teeth. “Boyfriend,” I answered simply. 
“Oh?” Lee chuckled. “And where is he?” 
“Well, right now, he’s in ‘Nam,” I answered. “He enlisted, got sent over.” 
“And he didn’t propose before he left?” Lee asked, and I shook my head. “Hmm. Usually when men go to war, they make sure that they’ll have someone waiting for them when they get back.” 
“Why are you here?” I asked suddenly. “What do you want?” 
“The wife’s mad at me tonight,” Lee said. “She was drinking and started yellin’ at me. Said I was better gone.” 
“And you came here?” I said. “Why?” 
“Got nowhere else to go,” Lee shrugged. “And I figured that you’d welcome me.” 
“You couldn’t go to a bar?” I asked. 
“Not unless I wanted to run into my sister,” Lee said. “And I don’t feel like having a fucking lecture.” 
I sucked in air through my teeth. “Fine,” I finally said. “But you’re on the couch.” 
“Aw, c’mon, babe,” Lee groaned. He approached me at my place at the counter, and his arms went on either side of me, keeping me right where he wanted me. “It’s been a long day for me. You’re not really gonna make me sleep on no stinkin’ couch, are ya?”
“I sure am,” I told him. “‘Cause you’re sure as hell not sleeping in the bed.”
Lee tilted his head. “Not even a good night kiss?” he asked. 
“No,” I said. “This is an inconvenience for me. I got shit to do tomorrow and I need sleep.” 
“Which is why you were outside smoking,” Lee said. 
“Helps me calm down,” I snapped. “Lee. Let me go.” 
“You sure are a stupid little bitch, huh?” Lee sneered. “You really think I rolled up to your house just wanting a place to sleep? Honey, you shoulda been expecting more.” 
Lee regularly spoke to me like this, but it was usually while I was tying my hair back and kneeling down in front of him. “Don’t call me that,” I said. 
“It’s true, though, ain’t it?” Lee asked. “Just a dumb bitch, that’s all you are. You fuck a married man and try to act like you’re better than everyone else. And you don’t think everyone knows?”
My ego deflated in half a second. “Do they?” I asked shakily. 
“That’s why the wife kicked me out,” Lee said. “Someone told her I was fuckin’ you, and she got mad. Asked for a divorce and all.” 
“We’re not fucking, though,” I tried to counter. 
“Oh, so you’ll put my cock in your mouth and call it ‘convienience’, but you draw the line at calling that ‘fucking’?” Lee scoffed. “C’mon, sugar. The whole town already knows it.” I tried to keep my chin up, but I know that Lee saw my lip trembling. “Oh,” he chuckled. “Except the whole town doesn’t know, do they? Your little boyfriend goes to sacrifice himself for the betterment of our fuckin’ country, and you’re here, whoring yourself out for me? Is that why you don’t wanna fuck me proper? Saving your first time for that bitch-boy?” 
“I’m not a virgin,” I said, but Lee instantly saw through my lie. 
“Bullshit,” he said. “You know how I know? You suck cock like a high schooler.” Lee’s hand went to my waist, and he held me a tight, bruising grip. His hands were so much stronger than I had imagined, and an unfamiliar heat bloomed between my legs. My arousal wasn’t usually a part of the supply closet moments between us, and I had never really felt that before my boyfriend left. This was uncharted territory for me, and I hated that Lee seemed to instantly know that. “I bet you think about me every night, don’t you?” Lee asked. He leaned into me and pressed a kiss to my neck, and a shiver ran down my spine. “Don’t you?” He growled, taking my skin between his front teeth. 
“Fuck,” I hissed. “You’re a dick.”
“Answer me,” Lee snapped, smacking my ass hard enough to make me gasp in pain. “You think of me fucking you stupid every single goddamn night, don’t you? I can tell, with the way you eye me at the station. You’re not subtle, honey, not in the slightest.” 
“Lee,” I whimpered. “You’re hurting me.” 
“Good,” Lee huffed into my neck. He shoved his hips against mine with enough force for my waist to collide with my countertop, and I became well and truly stuck between Lee’s rock-hard cock and the counter. I knew what he was offering, and I couldn’t deny that the thought of his thick cock inside of me made butterflies erupt in my tummy. He kissed my neck, becoming more needy by the second, and he finally sank his teeth into my skin. “Gonna have to make up your mind, sugar, or I’ll do it for you.” 
I gulped down my anxiety, and I whispered, “Be gentle.” 
“That’s a good girl,” Lee chuckled. “Show me where that bed is, sugar. I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you can’t remember your own goddamn name.” 
As soon as I pulled Lee into my bedroom, he had pushed me onto the bed and was kissing me hard. He bit my lips and sucked on my tongue, and he swallowed every pathetic moan I let out. God, I was pathetic. I was shaking, I wanted him so badly. Lee obviously knew that and had no problem with letting it go to his head, because he situated himself over me and gave me a wolfish smile. “You want me to undress you, sugar?” he asked. 
“I can do it,” I told him. 
Quickly, I rid myself of my nightshirt, and my skin tingled at the exposure to the air. Lee gave a gentle sigh, almost like one of relief, and dipped his head to my chest. He ran his tongue from the dip of my neck to between my breasts, and he latched his teeth onto one of my nipples with no warning. I nearly gave a shout of surprise, but I kept it contained. If this bit of foreplay was any indication, there would be enough time for shouting and crying later. 
“These…” Lee growled, grabbing at my breasts with rough hands. “Perfect fuckin’ tits, sugar, Jesus. Wanna come all over them. I just might have to.” 
Lee’s mouth went to my other breast, and one of his hands fluttered down from my chest to my waist, and even lower. Again, without so much as a censure, he pushed a finger past my folds and sunk himself knuckle-deep into my throbbing heat. My back arched against my will and I cried out at the amazing feel of it, and Lee laughed into my tits. “I’m only doin’ this ‘cause it’s your first time,” Lee told me, slowly dragging his finger in and out of me. It was a feeling like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. It was so fucking good. “If I had it my way, I’d already have my cock in you. Have you on your belly, fucking the hell outta you, watching myself fuck you so deep.”
“Please, Lee,” I sobbed. 
Through my watery gaze, I saw Lee smile against my chest. “Oh, what a good girl,” he moaned softly. “You’re my little fuck-toy, ain’t ya? Just fuckin’ desperate and begging for it. I guess it won’t take too long to fuck you absolutely stupid, will it?” I shook my head, and I jerked in surprise when his calloused finger drove itself into that spot inside of me. I called out his name; I was too far gone to care about the sick pleasure I knew it gave him. “Beg for it, sugar. Beg me to fuck you dumb.” 
“Please, Lee,” I whimpered. “Lee, fuck, please. I-I want you to fuck me so hard, please, babe.” 
Lee withdrew his fingers from me and sent a hard slap to my throbbing clit. This time, my gasp was one of genuine pain. “That ain’t what you call me and you fuckin’ know it,” he grunted. “Do it right or don’t do it at all.” 
I knew what he wanted, and I was too far gone to care. “Oh, Daddy, please,” I mewled, squirming, longing for his touch once more. “Fuck me, Daddy, fuck me ‘til I can’t walk. I want you so deep in my pussy, please.” 
“That’s more like it,” Lee whispered. Then, with a strength that I didn’t know that he possessed, he turned me onto my stomach and tugged my hips into the air. My arms shook as I tried to steady myself, and I felt my wet arousal drip down my thigh. As I tried to steady my breathing and remove the fog from my mind, I heard the sounds of Lee undoing his belt and shoving his pants down his thick thighs. His big hand captured a handful of my hair unexpectedly and he tugged me upright with only a small huff of exertion, and he bit my neck again. Lee Bodecker was an animal, and I liked it that way. 
One hand stayed in my hair as his other guided himself inside of me, and I nearly felt sick. The stretch was otherworldly and, dare I say, painful. Maybe the prep he had been doing wasn’t such a poor idea. But I had made my bed; now I had to lie in it. “Slow down,” I panted, feeling the tears return, and I writhed in his grip. “Fuck, Daddy, it hurts.” 
“I know it does,” Lee whispered, biting my ear. “But you asked for this. You asked for me to fuck you, and I’m gonna do just that. And ya know what? I think I’ll come in this pretty little cunt. What do you think of that?” I started to protest, but Lee shoved his fingers in my mouth, effectively shutting me the hell up. Even if I wanted to say something, I couldn’t. “Fill you up to the fuckin’ brim, have it drip outta you, it’ll be such a filthy thing to see. Your little boytoy comes home from the war and you’ve been letting an older, married guy stuff you full of cum? You think he’ll like that? Think he’ll wanna share?” Lee snapped his hips forward, fully burying himself inside of me, and I gave a wrecked sob around his fingers. I thought for sure that he would split me in two. 
Lee’s fingers dug into my hip as he started a steady rhythm. I truly had no idea how old he was-- I imagined probably late 30s or early 40s-- but he was fucking me hard and fast with the stamina of someone my age. Either he had a lot of expertise in the field or he truly had the fantasy of coming inside of me and was wanting to hurry the process along. The more I thought about it, I realized that I really knew nothing about Lee. Not his wife’s name or if he had kids; I didn’t even know that he had a sister until he had mentioned it earlier. However, something about not knowing was better than knowing. At least, this way, I could sort-of distance myself from the act. I was fucking the sheriff (or, technically, he was fucking me), but we weren’t an item. I was just his favorite toy. 
Lee suddenly wrenched my arms behind me and captured them against his chest, fully restraining me and leaving me pliable for him. With his fingers still in my mouth, I could hardly do anything but submit, but I liked that. I couldn’t tell if the throbbing in my pussy was pleasure borne from the way he was punishing my g-spot, or pain derived from his taut balls hitting my wet pussy every second. I had gotten my wish; there was to be no walking in the morning. I could feel spit gathering at the corners of my mouth, and I nearly choked on it, but Lee suddenly slowed down, molding his soft body against my back. “Fuck, honey, I’m gettin’ close,” he panted in my ear. “Now’s the time to tell me if you want me to come in ya or not.” 
His fingers left my mouth, and I tried to form any thought. Lee was the only thing in my head, though, and I could only whimper out his name. That was answer enough for him, because he released my arm and shoved me down onto the bed. His hand grasped the back of my neck and held me down as his hips pounded in and out of me, huffing and panting. I never could have imagined that the sound of that would have turned me on as much as it did, but my muscles tightened around his fat cock, and he laughed. “Aw,” he cooed. “Does the little cunt need to come? I’ll be honest, I forgot all about that. Wanna make a mess all over Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” 
I answered with a keening whine, but that didn’t seem to be enough for Lee. He smacked my ass hard, surely adding to the redness and bruising that I know already existed, and he fisted my hair tighter. “Answer me, bitch,” he growled. “Say it. Say ‘I wanna come on your cock, Daddy’.” 
“I wanna--” I started, and a shudder went down my body when I felt something warm and wet find home on my asshole. I was so far past the point of degradation, and my mind instantly went somewhere else. I had heard about that, sure, but I had never imagined that that could be something that I wanted. And yet, here I was, Lee’s spit coating my ass, mumbling out words that would send me to hell. “Fuck, Daddy. Can you fuck my ass?” 
“Oh, is that what you want?” Lee asked. “As tempting as that is, I’ll save that for another night. I’m not sure you’re a virgin, sugar, begging for it up the ass. But, fuck, it looks so good… I guess we have something to look forward to, huh?” 
Lee’s arm wound around my body and he instantly went to my poor clit. His fingers had tugged at it enough to make it tender to the touch, and he abused it as he fucked right into my g-spot. “Jesus Christ,” Lee whispered. “Squeezing the shit outta me. I’m serious, honey, let me know if you don’t want me to come in you. You’re about to not-- fuck, Y/N-- have a choice.” 
“I want it,” I told him. “I fuckin’ want it.” 
That seemed to be the final straw, because Lee sent one more hard fuck into me, and I felt his cock twitch before warmth spilled into my pussy. The squelching as he continued to fuck me through his orgasm was so loud that I was afraid that the whole of Knockemstiff would hear it, but I couldn’t make up my mind on whether I cared or not. Somewhere in the middle of that, Lee cussed and began to rub my belly, whispering sweet things to me that would have felt out of place only minutes before. I didn’t realize that I had come. I liked the feeling of it, though, especially with how sweet Lee was suddenly.
“Good girl,” Lee told me. He shushed me as I moaned and cried, my pleasure edging on pain, and he pushed my hair away from my neck and placed gentle, open-mouthed kisses on my throat. “So, so good for me, ain’t ya? So goddamn pretty when you’re coming all over my cock. I can’t tell you how much I dreamt of this…” 
My entire body trembled as Lee pulled out of me, and I collapsed onto my bed, panting and trying to form a coherent thought that wasn’t just the sheriff’s name. Only a few seconds passed before he was on me again, but it felt different this time. Lee moved the two of us under the blankets and rubbed my back, and he kissed my forehead gently. I nearly thought it was love. As my tears dried and feeling returned to my fingers and toes, I became aware that Lee was naked against me. As far as I knew, he hadn’t undressed as he had fucked me. His skin was so warm and it was comforting, and I nuzzled my head into his soft chest. My throat was so dry as I tried to swallow to form words, and Lee titled my face up in order for me to look him in those pretty blue eyes of his. 
“How’re ya feeling, sugar?” He asked, his voice as wrecked and raw as mine. “Feelin’ alright?”
“Sore,” I mumbled. “It hurts, Lee.” 
“I’m sorry, honey,” Lee whispered, and I knew that he was being honest. Lee was perhaps the biggest jerk in town, his elected title obviously inflating his ego more than it should have, but I never knew that he was capable of being sweet in this manner. “I was real rough with ya and I just shouldn’t have been. I feel plum awful ‘bout it.” 
“No,” I croaked, splaying my hands against his chest. Underneath the coarse hair, I could make out white marks on his skin, and I pressed my forehead against him. As I studied his body, I saw more and more of the marks, and it was only when I saw my hip against his that I connected the dots. Stretch marks. My Lee had stretch marks all over him, just like I did. “Please don’t. I woulda stopped you if it was too much. Thank you.”
Lee nodded and sighed into my messy hair. “You looked so beautiful,” he told me. “Any man that calls you his is a lucky fuckin’ bastard, I’ll tell you that much.” 
I couldn’t help myself. My lips pressed against my chest, and I took care to kiss every mark I laid my eyes on. “You’re…” I began. “You’re gorgeous, Lee.” 
“Nah, knock that shit off,” Lee chuckled. “I ain’t nothin’ compared to you, sugar.” 
“No, really,” I told him. “Those big blue eyes, your pink cheeks… Your fat fuckin’ cock--” I laughed at myself, and Lee kissed the top of my head. “You’re the most handsome man I ever met.”
“Even more than your soldier boyfriend?” Lee asked. 
“My soldier boyfriend’s like a twig, Lee,” I told him. “There’s nothing there for me. But you…” 
“I’m fuckin’ fat, s’what I am,” Lee said with a smile, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. “I’m old and I’m fat--”
“Alright, shut up,” I said. Suddenly, a different sort of desire burned in me, and I pushed Lee onto his back before I straddled his waist. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you, ya hear? You are fucking perfect, Lee.”
The insecurity flashed across his face, darkening his features for only a second. “But the marks--” 
I twisted my body to show him my hip and thigh. “I got ‘em too,” I said. “And don’t act like you didn’t see them, not for one second. And what did you do? You didn’t give a shit. I don’t either. They’re a part of you, and you are so sexy, Lee. I wanted to jump your bones from the moment I met you, and nothing ‘bout that’s changed and nothing’ll make it change. And ya know what? I’d reckon you’re stuck with me, so get used to it.” 
“Oh, I’m stuck with ya, am I?” Lee asked with a smile. He tugged me down to him, pressing his tongue into my mouth once more, and the ache between my legs was replaced with the now-familiar pleasing tingle. “And I get no say in it?” 
“I think you got your say when you wanted to fuck me up the ass,” I said, sinking my teeth into his plush bottom lip. “What a fuckin’ cliche we are, huh? The sheriff fuckin’ his secretary.” 
“When I first hired you,” Lee began, his warm hands traveling all over my body, and his fingers took special care to trace the white marks along my thighs, hips, tits, and ass. “My wife hated the idea. She said she was worried that late nights at the station would wreak havoc on me, and having a pretty little thing like you there with me was dangerous.” 
“Don’t go talkin’ ‘bout your wife,” I groaned. “That’s such a turn off, Lee.” 
“Oh, is it?” Sheriff Lee Bodecker laughed, stuffing his fingers back inside me, just like nothing had ever happened. “‘Cause you seem all wet for Daddy, just the same.” 
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