#I don't wanna guilt trip anyone. that's the last thing I want to do here

[feralmoonlight]

Doordash AU Lore

Condensed Soup Version for your reading pleasure~ This was flailed over discord last night in a stream of consciousness into the delirium of sleep and goes from legible and readable to 'what are you typing??' levels of writing. Spellcheck was... not used a lot. Enjoy!

Sun survived the Fazbear Fire ending but was junked and picked up by random dude that tinkered enough to get him fixed to the point he could finish fixing himself. Sun and a very feral moon were... 'grateful' for being saved, but dude just wanted to use them as a side hustle for income basically and guilt trips them into working to 'pay him back for saving them and the electricity it takes to keep them charged'

Hence, doordash. Getting sun to be able to drive was easy enough, and dude just linked his own bank with the account so any pay out goes straight to him. The boys basically get pennies for their work because they don't really have a full sense of money or the outside world, but Sun 'likes' getting to explore while delivering and while they'd love to work with kids, well... Dude won't let them go until they pay him back. So they technically are under the assumption he owns them like fazbear did. A little pushback but 'if it weren't for him, they'd still be in the scrap yard'. And it's way better than being locked away in solitude again.

SO, one day they do a deliver for Reader, quiet anxious shut-in artist hermit type that thrives online but is basically terrified of the world beyond their home. Very relatable cough

BUT YN is like. Holy fuck that's a robot???

And Sun is like HELLO! Here's your food! Wanna chat? What do you do? How was your day?

To which anxiety YN blurts out they're an artist and Arts and Crafts King SUN is like YOU LIKE ART? I LIKE ART? and corners them for about 15-20 minutes talking their ear off while they're basically frozen because too awkward to tell him to leave, and he's not being WEIRD just REALLY TALKATIvE but it seems to be making him happy??

And then he gets another delivery and has to go anyway.

WhICH... OK cool that was weird but something to remember and forget about later.

Until a few weeks later when they order from a similar area restaurant and get Sunny as their delivery dude again, recognizing it immediately as him and actually having a more 2 way convo this time?

And it starts off slow, little short convos between drop offs and Sun wants to stay and talk more but it gets waved off at first. BUT YN keeps trying to work the system and get him back as a delivery dude for short chats.

Friendship builds and they start working out how to get the delivery as the last of his shift time so he can talk longer and longer, but he always leaves before the sun goes down too far, because Moon worries

Which eventually something happens and Sun knows he's not gonna be able to make it back home before dark, so he VERY anxiously asks if he can stay the night and makes up a thing about not functioning well in the dark. Sunshine and all that. 

SO he gets to stay and they have a longer chill evening and he watches YN work on some commissions, and then they watch a non-fazbear movie and just chill. Which he's ABSOLUTELY BLOW AWAY by a non-fazbear movie

and YN wants to introduce him to different shows and stuff, so these little sleepovers (lights on) turn into a more regular almost weekly thing.

But eventually the fun time gets caught and Dude gives Sun a call about where the fuck is he with the car? Where has he been? And sun apologizes and has to leave, but it raises questions about who that was.

WHich takes us to catalyst point 1, of 'man, that guys a dick. you don't take that much energy to charge -motions to electric bill that only budged a couple dozen dollars' and learning he takes all sun's earnings.

Now, you might be wondering... WHere's MOON in all this? How does MOON feel?

Well, Moon doesn't trust anyone at this point. Between fazbear, the vanny incidents, and this fucker, he is VERY skeptical there's not some ulterior motive, and he wants to test it. But Sun is getting very attached to YN

And he's already made moon lowkey promise to behave in case the lights go out from the first night, cause they haven't done anything bad yet. But he's still IFFY.

BUT LOW AND BEHOLD, the fabled power outage arrives, and YN doesn't know MOON is a thing.

It's a short one, and Moon POORLY tries to pretend to be Sun in the dark, but he's very... itching to fuck with YN. WANTS to harass them so bad, but... he said he'd behave.

But the lights come on, and Sun is a little panicked, but YN brushes it off like he was scared of the dark? Though he didn't sound scared a moment ago? Maybe it was something else that spooked him?

BUT things continue and the more YN hears about dude, the more they want to beat his ass(they wont, they're not bold like that) and get Sun away from him... which... he might have a gps on the phone and car that they use, but not on Sun. All he'd have to do is like... not go back? and he'd be free

which alarm bells MOON with the though YN just wants to use them the same way dude did to get more money cause at this point it's obvious to them both that the only things YN really spends their extra money on is food delivery and thats about it. they don't buy 'stuff' but they enjoy eating good food from different places, and they've been ordering a lot more lately as an excuse to see Sun.

SO moon convinces Sun to let him 'test them' and their resolve

Let him out, let him have some fun. And hoo boy. He definitely makes himself a threat, but he did still promise not to HURT hurt them.

BUT he has to test limits. Push buttons. He doesn’t really want to hurt YN cause they have genuinely been nice and he wants to think they’re being sincere in their attempt to help them, but there’s always that grain of salt. They thought the other human was trying to help them but they were just getting used for free income. What’s to say this 'starving artist’ won’t do the same? So he does the chase song and dance, the threats, minor injuries to see if it’d be enough to scare YN into showing true colors…  And they ARE scared, but they also know Sun at this point. Even if Moon is gonna be shitty, and they say as much, Sun is their friend, and they aren’t gonna let him go back. Even if it means putting up with Moon.

WHICH HURTS, but in a way that warms his heart sorta. Like.. OK OW? But also deserved. He’s not done poking the bear, though, but again, bit by bit he goes from full gremlin mode to spikey roommate to soft nap lord. With gremlin habits still. He wouldn’t be moon if he wasn’t a pest sometimes.

BUT like, OK. SO MOON DOES HIS MOON THING

and he's surprised YN has so much... pushback to not let him get to them, but also seems to have this genuine urge to help Sun just to help him?

Which means now Moon has to repair the relationship, but Sun is also excited that Moon is going to TRY to be nice now, not just because he asked him to, but because... If they ARE gonna be trying to live with them, as friends, that first impression needs to get undone

Which he points out also it's NOT their first meeting, but... YN doesn't pick that up at first

SO we have the 'become friends with Moon' arc starting as well as the actually stealing Sun... which is easy enough. They drive back to dudes house with YN and just... leave the phone in the car, and take the bus back home.

which leaves YN in a lowkey panic because agoraphobia

BUT they'd do it for their friend. The injustice of what happened is stronger than their own fears, and getting back home results in a nice little cuddle session because yes. Which also would end up in them falling asleep and sun shifting over to Moon and moon basically having a 'I WILL NOT ADORE THEM oh fuck' moment too

WHICH brings us to the midway point... Sort of.

Because now YN is taking care of them, or rather, giving them somewhere to live, rent free, and eating the cost of their electricity upkeep which is... not horrible but more than expected... so they're now having to go grocery shopping regularly (ew) and essentially cutting their food budget in more than half to make that difference, cause taking on new commissions is already stretching their work load.

There's a small talk of why YN doesn't have a different job, and there's some talk of... not trauma, but just... really bad experiences? They wouldn't call it trauma, but they DO NOT want to have to get a 'normal job' again. Which is hard for them to understand from an AI perspective, having job stuff programmed into them with the daycare and security things

BUT then YN talks about how if doordash felt 'right'... and it did not. it was 'ok' but it wasn't what they were made for

But they're also realizing that they ARE sort of... taking up a decent amount of what was YN's 'spare money'. which was NOT safety net worthy but it was enough for them to be comfy

SO they start feeling guilty. Doing little tasks around the house, but it's not enough, TO THEM, to make up for the new burden they're putting on this FRIEND that CARES about them.

SO... They want to get a job.

But how

Their options are VERY limited, and probably gonna have to be under the table

They don't need to make a LOT, but YN basically tells them they will NOT do doordash shit again.

There's the possibility of doing private babysitting? But getting parents to agree is... weird...

They do the random attempt of going to a few parks and letting sun do his thing with the kids, but there's a mixed response of 'what the fuck, a robot?' and 'ok who's the freak that brought a bot to a playground? is this some kind of sick joke?'

But there are a few parents that don't immediately freak out.

YN talks to some of them and explains that he used to work with kids until their daycare burned down and he was thrown out, a bit of a twist on the official happenings but believable enough.

And one parent takes the bait,  agreeing it'd be nice to have someone watch the kids after school for a bit before they got off work some days, so they'd try it out. For a very cheap fee, but still.

It's a step in the right direction, and their kids area already on board with having Sun as a temporary caretaker. YN is gonna be with them, but they can take their art shit wherever so Sun handles this kids and YN just babysits the babysitter XD

They let sun and moon keep all the money they make and only take what's offered from them, and insist they should hold on to some of it for anything they  might need for future repairs. There's a lowkey friend argument but agreements are made

They gather a few families that are on board with their services, and eventually things even out. But one parent mentions the daycare their tiny child goes to is actually pretty short staffed. They can't afford to hire on anyone else at a normal pay rate, but if they treat it like 'renting a piece of machinery' a phrase YN is pissy about, then they could probably pay a similar rate to the babysitting gigs but as a 5 days a week guaranteed time thing?

Which there's a back and forth on how that might be risky, but the fucking starry eyed glee from Sun, and moon actually, about getting to work with a daycare again is something they can't fight against. And so the approach is made.

And accepted

As a trial run, at first, but things go well and they become a welcome part of this little daycare, and can handle the tasks of two or three employees easily. It's far less chaotic that the sugarhigh crazed children of Fazbears, and it's the happiest they've been in a long time

wait.

what's that?

everyone is

happy?

>w>

Heheh

GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS

fazbear still owns them

Well

Sort of

Fazbear still owns 'Sun and Moon' as trademarked entities.

Dude still owns them legally as salvaged scrap.

And Moms just LOVE posting weird shit on facebook.

Knock KNock we're here for your robot

Time to RUN from THE MANZ

Thankfully still no tracker, and THANKFULLY Fazbear isn't actually as invested as the news would lead people to believe? But that dude? oh that dude is PISSED as FUCK

He ends up being the more unhinged danger time for YN, because it was DEFINITELY YNs FAULT 'their robot went rogue'

Fazbear's is lowkey keeping tabs, but after that plex burned down they'd already gotten the insurance from the BS that happened, and technically getting such a... mmm 'tampered with' AI would be a pain in the ass to recode

They're lowkey interested in him as spare parts, but the news media covering this from the dudes side, and then eventually uncovering the harrowing rescue and plight of the 'mistreated robot that just wants to take care of kids' has the story quickly turning on it's head.

Fazbear's watching all this too, and they're... intrigued that Sun and Moon still have such a strong drive to care after the incident... they're swapping to wanting to study this...

They weren't the only bot that 'survived', but they're the only one that made it to the 'outside'

BUT BUT BUT

they study

they watch this drama unfolding with the curiosity of a cat watching a mouse in a maze

they COULD pounce, but... they could also learn from this. they see money in them hills

ANd the media is EATING this shit up

but it does come down to it that Dude finds YN and Sun/Moon (time undetermined at the moment) and they're... separated enough that he CAN rough up YN a bit. Not enough, but enough that it sends YN off running and Dude books it cause he doesn't want the police involved after making a BIG no no of assault

he knows he fucked up, but YN is now hella shaken and Sun/Moon shows up shortly after. MOON is very livid and wants to go hunt this dude down like a dog. Sun ALSO is on board but... that would not do any of them any good, so it's comfort the reader time.

Little bit of wound tending, mostly bruises and a fucked up wrist.

yep.

That one. They aren't drawing for a while because fuck you thats why

But again, the place YN went to for safety is on the phone with police and the media hears about this dude attacking them, and HOO BOY... BUT yn doesn't press charges because...

MOSTLY they dont wanna deal with court shit?

BUT his own actions are enough to kind of scare him off from intervening again

he knows he fucked up, and the info is ON the NEWS now, and he's waiting for the arrest warrant to get served but it never does.

This is now a bigger issue and not worth the hassle

he's got a nice fucking chunk of change though from them doing door dash for like 10 hours a day for.... months?

just sitting in his bank

which mF is gonna have to pay taxes on lmao

bitch doesn't know it yet cause he didn't think that far ahead. he's an asshole. a clever one, but not a smart one.

SO it's into the wind down of wondering when Fazbear is gonna try to come swoop in and steal Sun/Moon back from YN. or rather, back from their freedom. And it's NOT long after that they do get a knock on the door from a fazbear rep...

This is about where the end gets hazy though. Cause I don't wanna do the whole convo, but it boils down to, they're very intrigued that 'the ai,  Sun, and Moon, have adjusted so well to life outside of the plex.'  And they want to use that. The knowledge that they can expand outside of just 'entertainment'.

This isn't the 'birth of the ai revolution' of sorts where robots are everywhere... they already are somewhat, but very... simple versions. More advanced things like the animatronics are few and far between, and highly monitored in their selected environments (the pizzaplex). But letting the more sentient ones adapt to working at things like stand alone daycares, theme parks, maybe as traveling shows that go on tour, or other possible branch locations with different uses is very interesting to the higher ups

They want to monitor Sun and Moon, how they conduct themselves, and how people respond to them 'out in the wild', so to speak.

"This new idea is... groundbreaking. And we just want to observe... For now."

The long side eye is LONG, but... LEGALLY they could snatch the boys up without a second thought.

So they take the offer.

Fazbear is gonna offer no help, aside from possibly medical costs because they want to build a 'friendly face for the enterprize' as well as feel slightly responsible for YN getting hurt by not stepping in sooner and making their presence known to The Dude TM that he was out of his realm from the start.

There's some wariness from all parties, but...

It seems things will work out

uwu

The end.... ?

Possibly the end

it has room for expanding into the actual watching portion but that's what I have so far and is a POSSIBLE stopping point

#Doordash AU #Doordash AU lore #feral rambles

[raideo]

Issey drama anon here, please tell us about Romance Doll because I have not heard anything about it

also, have you heard of Quartet? I've seen like 50 gifsets from it and it seems legit funny as hell

UMMM WELL- I'll put my thoughts on Romance Doll under a break at the end because the movie is pretty nsfw and weird and yeah...

Quartet is on my list! I'm definitely going to watch it at some point, but I also really wanna watch Miracles! Honestly that one has been the most interesting to me from the beginning but my adhd is just causing me to watch whatever's convenient first, not the ONE IVE REALLY WANTED TO WATCH THIS WHOLE TIME. I still have to finish Koisenu Futari too... I stopped that one cuz I was watching it with someone and we had a long period of time where we couldn't watch it. And then also it's just VERY HEAVY as a person who happens to be demi who has gone through periods of feeling like I could be aroace in the past. It's so realistic and deals with the painful things as well as the funny things and I am scared to finish it bc I KNOW THERES MORE HEAVY SHIT TO COME but it's an amazing show AND I DO WANT TO FINISH THAT ONE TOO.

And on a completely polar opposite note: ROMANCE DOLL, LMAO

Ok so, this movie is very much one of those WEIRDLY REALISTIC stories where all the characters are so real and flawed and HUGE MISTAKES ARE MADE by characters and it's just such a wild ride. You probably haven't heard about it because its FUCKING WACK.

Without giving too much away in case you wanna watch it (netflix dropped it last monday, which is actually why I ended up watching it over the weekend at all, but it's still available to rent on amazon 🙄) Issey plays Tetsuo, an unemployed art college grad who is desperate for a job. His friend gave him a tip about this sketchy job opening but told him literally nothing else about it. He shows up and this old woman greets him and shows him around and he's a bit shocked to find out it's a shop that makes SILICONE SEX DOLLS. The woman is like "your friend didn't tell you that???" And Tetsuo was like "he literally just said there was a job here-" and she laughs and says "Some friend he is then!" Honestly I loved the old lady she's great, I wish I could remember her name I'm too lazy to go look it up rn.

Anyway so yeah, he takes the job even though the interview was super awkward and there's this gross pervy old guy who works there and he doesn't really care about the subject matter he just needs money (mood)

One thing and another happens (and a lot of me wanting to slap the old man into next tuesday, seriously he's the worst) and a little bit later Tetsuo meets the love of his life through some bullshit connection to his job, and they end up getting married some time after, but she doesn't know what he does for a living and ITS ALL VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY HE KEEPS THAT FROM HER without spoiling things but just- the movie is wack, I really didn't like it in the beginning but it pulls a complete 180 and ends up being this weirdly emotional and AT TIMES, a holesome wholesome slice of life movie??

Don't get me wrong it doesn't sugarcoat things like objectification of women and there's some degree of realistic portrayal of that bc of the whole Tetsuo working at a sex doll shop thing, it is very true to life- how men can be gross even if they aren't going so far as assaulting anyone. It doesn't excuse it either it just presents it as it is, which is good I think. But then there are OTHER moments where the movie is very sex positive- so its a wild fucking trip tbh. Definitely don't watch it if you have sensitivities to the things I mentioned above bc bro omg the first half almost had me like "yeah I can't watch this" a couple times jfc.

BASICALLY by the end of the movie the message is that communication and being open with people you love (and not getting bogged down with anxiety and guilt) is important, because on top of not being fair to the people who are important to you, hiding things from them can eat you up inside and make you act irrationally and hurt them even more whether you realize it or not. And also, you never know how someone will feel about the things you don't want to tell them. Something that could be huge to you could be no big deal to another.

Its just a very interesting movie. I don't know if I'd recommend it, theres some NUCLEAR SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT CRINGE MOMENTS like oh my god i wanted to die- and like I said above, there's lots of intense subject matter and some not so pretty moments that a lot of people may want to avoid. Id for sure check one of those sites that gives content warnings before watching bc hoo boy...

But all that aside, once again Issey is an incredible actor and his range is apparent in this movie. I saw some like- borderline SLAPSTICK physical comedy moments that had me so surprised bc he did them so well but its so new and different from anything else ive watched him star in. Dude is just unstoppable tbh. He HAS 👏 THE 👏 RANGE!! 👏

Also you get to see him naked a lot. So there's that!

#LMFAO GOD #its a long post and read at your own risk #rai replies #anon #takahashi issei #sorry to clog the tag with my thoughts I just want issey anon to be able to find it #romance doll #collecting Issey characters with different sexualities like infinity stones lmfao #finally with this movie we have the straight guy

[ftmtftm]

It does kinda seem that you put a whole possible group of people on blast for one kid's dumbass "joke". This is going to have repercussions that are a bit too harsh for the crime of being young and unfunny, as people are already making posts talking about sending them rape threats, suicide baiting them, and doxing them. Calling attention to this on your big blog probably wasn't the best move, even if you felt the need to distance yourself in a "its not me, its them officer" type move. This doesn't need anymore attention. It should've been handled privately with the user who originally made the joke, but I guess that's tumblr for you. Everything needs to be a circus.

I hope you're deleting any replies that are listing urls in your notes bc if you let that happen on your post, on your blog, and it goes too far, you'll have some perverbial blood on your hands too.

Hey, so first and foremost to address the very end of your ask: I have not seen anyone listing URLs in my replies or reblogs and if anyone has been doing that I would appreciate it being brought to my attention so I can delete it! I've scrubbed through the notes and my activity and cannot find anything, so if something has slipped through the cracks please tell me!

Secondly, and also related to the end of your ask, I really don't appreciate the guilt trippy nature of this ask at all! If you want to have a discussion about platforms and the way people use them, by all means we can have that conversation, but I'd prefer if it was had without the typical Tumblr accusatory guilt trip tonality. I'm addressing this upfront because addressing someone in the way you've addressed me really isn't how a productive conversation is had, but I wanna take the opportunity to try to have one. Let's just talk without trying to make each other feel bad to try to prove a point, okay?

I do agree that I should have put more thought into my post and also I should not have made it while I was on my lunch break at work. I had less control over the response to it than I would've liked and also left people in my DMs waiting on a reply in a way I'm sure was stressful. I'm not used to my posts gaining that much attention that quickly and that is on me for not having thought about that possibly.

I do think that I made it abundantly clear that I don't support the harassment of anyone, ever and that harassment and targeting individuals wasn't the goal of the post once I was able to. I do apologize that it wasn't something I was necessarily thinking about it the moment and that my comments were not soon enough to beat some of Tumblr's worst to the punch.

This is where I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but do I pretty firmly believe in openly, publicly talking about the failures of and issues within my own communities. I don't think there is anything to be gained from trying to shy away from it or trying to be quiet about it, especially when shying away or burying it just tends to lead to entire community collapse in the long run in my experience. That is why I made a post publicly about it in the first place.

I'm going to go more in depth into my reasoning for making a public post here, but if that doesn't interest you that's okay! The previous paragraph sums up my feelings pretty concisely, this next section is just expanding on it.

This is a new~ish blog, but I've been active on and off in Tumblr discourse spaces since I was about 16 so I'm looking at this informed by about a decade of experiences. The thing I've seen that happens most often is once people who aren't used to a giant influx of attention get that attention, especially if it is negative, things tend to get extremely sour extremely quickly. Usually this results in taunting, feeling like you need to get the last word in with a quippy remark, slippery slope-ing, and a lot of assumptions and poor taste comments that come from very real upset and distress. Those responses then get used as more fuel for the fire and it just continues and continues and continues really until someone deletes or abandons their blog. That's absolutely not to discredit the very real distress that is happening, but instead to call attention to this cycle that happens all the time.

I personally partially attribute the nature of this cycle to the fact that no one on the internet (especially on Tumblr) really knows how to healthily disengage because the internet is a culture all about engagement (especially negative engagement), but that's a topic for another post. The reason why I bring up the cycle is because in all of that individuals tend to get mean, defensive, and deflective and say things they might not actually mean or reflect extremely poorly out of context.

That's what has been happening with multiple people I follow the last few days, not just with one or two individuals. When a culture like that begins to take shape I think it's important to openly address the ways in which it is manifesting, especially when it includes a public joke about the oppression of another marginalized group. Like I said earlier, I do think I should have gone about it better in the ways I've already described but what's done is done in that regard. I also would like to address the fact that I explicitly, intentionally did not name individuals because there was already a harassment campaign happening and I did not want to directly contribute to that. Again, I see the failures within that especially given my own personal timing, I just want to give context for anyone reading this ask.

Again, you're more than allowed to disagree with my feelings or my responses/lack of response due to other constraints and you can extrapolate as much ill will and negativity from it all as you'd like. I can't control the thoughts and actions of other people. I do, however, know myself and I know how I feel and while I do believe I should have been more thoughful about my timing and wording I don't have any issue with openly addressing actions I disagree with in communities I'm in. Especially ones like that. That's not really going to change because of an anon slippery slope-ing about proverbial blood on my hands in my askbox.

I also want to add on the end here that I don't particularly like the accusation that I'm a "big blog" when before I made that post I had under 200 followers. Sure, I'm vocal, I've got a decently put together mobile layout, and I speak like I know what I'm talking about, but I'm that doesn't make me a "big blog" - I've just been on Tumblr for a decade and know my way around most of the time (though, as I think this shows, I'm also still human and have my own blind spots like everyone else).

#asks #anon

[florenceisfalling]

sorry for not realizing, i hadn't checked your blog in months before today and i kinda figured you would have blocked me in the time i wasn't on tumblr if you didn't wanna talk. the post i replied to seemed lighthearted so i did not know. obviously no need to answer this as i won't ever see it, just wanted to say i'm sorry for upsetting you even if i won't ever know exactly what went wrong with us

i mean you still have my discord dms if you really wanted. in fact, you actually stopped responding to me, not the other way around. i didn't block you because a.) you were such a large part of my life for so long that, yknow, a chunk of my blog has some sort of attachment to yours, and i didn't want to fuck up my ability to see relevant posts if im trying to find old writing shit and b.) i always wanted to leave channels open because... again, you were a large part of my life for so long. i don't want to be your friend but if anything ever came up and there was something you needed or wanted to say i wanted that to be possible for the sake of "just in case"

regardless of if you "wont ever see it" heres my answer. even this ask answers itself for one of the reasons i dont like you. you hadn't checked my blog in months. which in itself is fine, but in the grand scheme of things - jesus fuck, man! you dipped out of my life almost entirely, on repeated occasions, unless i actively tried to drag you back in. regardless of how fucking apparent it was that i was literally on the Brink, you wouldn't be there unless i was the one to call. even after i tried to have an open conversation with you + others involved on how you were so bad at handling your shit that i thought random things i had zero involvement were my fault because no one gave me any sort of indication to what the fuck was going on.

you hung out with bullies and downplayed the deserved backlash. you don't know how to take other peoples feelings or lives seriously - something that hits me so PROFOUNDLY because your kindness and comfort used to be one of the reasons i liked your company so much. you hurt my friend. and you lied to me! and more, shit that i cant say here! and you would complain and guilt-trip about how you felt like everyone hated you and how you were such a bad friend but you so rarely made steps to actually change anything you were doing! of course you don't see what went wrong, you can't even look in at yourself without making everyone else feel like its their fault for being hurt!

and id love to say that everything ive heard from you and the people surrounding you is some kind of misunderstanding and that really and truly you dont deserve my anger. i dont think you realize how much ive sat over the past year and hoped that we were somehow gonna go back to normal. i wanted to tell you i got engaged! i wanted to talk to you about a million things! but after what i had to deal with last year (not from you, other shit entirely) i sort of learned that i cannot afford to trust anyone. you have no idea the fucking depths i went to and you are not going to know because the kind of people you seem to love aspiring to be/surrounding yourself with are the same kind of people who made my world feel like it was fucking falling apart. literally some of the most insane trauma ive endured was just brushed aside as silly discourse or jokes or whatever so yeah. not sure if i can trust that everythings all just one big mix up. messages are open but i am so angry and i cant change that even if i want to and i dont think you want to hear any of it.

and im sorry for being so lighthearted about you before i thought it was a post that would just fade into the ether like my other non-context bullshit

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

Why, why do artists, writers, gif makers, ANYONE who puts any sort of creative effort on something on this hellsite have to ask and beg everyone else to REBLOG their shit and not only LIKE.

#witchy.txt #good morning I'm bitter #I mean like #I don't care about 'being popular' ok #especially bc clout chasing here is even more useless than on ig or twitter #but you can't deny that it's fucking heartbreaking when you put effort into something #and all you can get is a pat in the back #that's what likes on your art feel like on this site #like jesus christ does it bother you that much to reblog? does it now? #does it bother tell an artist who spent five hours on a piece to tell them what you think of it? #I don't wanna guilt trip anyone. that's the last thing I want to do here #I'm just fucking upset bc I saw so much support before (like 20 followers in an empty blog counts as a win to me) #but now that I made my first post I have to reblog it MYSELF so it gets a little recognition? #what kinda bullshit is that #and I understand that not everyone could see it of course and hell thank you to anyone that has rbd it and told me their opinion on it #and of course it's the first post and a very particular one at that so I can't expect it to be a major success #the crüe first show ended up in a fight with the audience after all #but still. when it's likes only............ hhhmmmmmmm #idk man sorry for being an asshole #to delete later?

[ex-furry]

here we go

#coming back to this post like an hr later cuz i don't wanna make a new post but i am not doing well ✌ like at all. i just have so much #building up inside me i feel so miserable. and i can't even cry or scream like i have been the past few days because my parents are back #and they don't get it. i feel like my emotions are never taken seriously and saying that sounds so stupid but. idk i just feel like people #irl. my parents. dismiss my emotions so easily. if i'm angry it's funny if i'm sad it's funny. it's heartbreaking. i just want to be able to #have emotions without being mocked. i want people to take me seriously and i know it's hard to take a person like me seriously but #i wish it weren't. and i'm upset about so many things that math assignment was just the cherry on top and i couldn't stop crying after that #and i know that once i start having to commute my depression is just gonna get worse and it already is because it's my second semester here #and i'm still going through ''transfer shock'' but it's been an entire semester so i don't know if i can even really call it that. #transferring has ruined my mental stability. like i couldn't have gone straight to a 4-year but i wish i had but realistically things would #be the same or worse even because i'd be at UT. and things were kind of like this at my cc honestly like i was very alone i don't think it #was this bad but it wasn't like i had more than one person i talked to when i was on campus. now i don't talk to anyone. even in breakout #rooms on zoom. earlier i thought about that time in a journalism zoom where i got put into a room with three girls who already knew e/o and #it was just miserable i felt so awful. but it's always been like this so it'll always be like this won't it. junior yr was when i realized #that i orbit around others and no one has ever orbited around me. i realized that i'm the kind of ''friend'' you only talk to when you have #to or when you have nobody else to talk to. the friend you only talk to when they happen to be around. you never reach out to them. #and that sounds guilt trippy whenever i say it and i don't mean for it to it's just the reality of the situation. it's always been like that #i've been on a decline ever since i realized that and i've tried figuring out what it is but i think it's unfixable because it's just me #that's how it has to be for me because it's never been any other way and i'm almost 21. and that's been the main motivator i guess in my #depression and suicidal ideation. that's what ruins everything. there's almost no coming back from it. but i get it i understand that i am #hard to be around and embarrassing. i've always known that. i went on an orchestra trip in 7th grade and it was the last one i ever went on #bc it was miserable. i was rooming with three or four girls who were friends with my friend but they never seemed to like me so it was just #awkward. they invited me to play cards in the hotel but i knew it was just bc they like felt bad so i said no and when we went out to like #the mall and aquarium and stuff i stayed out of every picture. either i was the one taking it or i was standing to the side. they did #photobooth pictures together and i was standing outside of it and this woman asked me why i wasn't ''in there with my friends'' and i was #like. i don't know how to explain my insecurities about this but i just knew i didn't belong in there. esp because i was only rooming with #them because i had nobody else to room with. and that's just one thing but it's a running theme in my life. an example of a constant #and i don't necessarily care abt that incident anymore like it still hurts but it also still happens. i was meant to exist by myself #and that fucking sucks. and because of that i cannot think of a single reason to stay here. and i've been so mad at myself recently because #i am still here and i just shouldn't be. there's nothing here for me except pain from these things and i wouldn't really be hurting anyone #by leaving. not to sound guilt trippy. i should just do it. i have to

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff

chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six

author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x

Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.

I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.

My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?

The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.

"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."

We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.

"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.

Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.

It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.

"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."

The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.

At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.

"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.

She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."

I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.

"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."

A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.

"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."

Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."

"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"

"Wow, that's young," I realised.

She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."

I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.

"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."

She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.

"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."

A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."

I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."

She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.

"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."

"Gee, thanks."

Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.

—

When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.

I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.

We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.

Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.

"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.

I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"

"In Russian," she instructed.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."

"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"

"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."

"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."

My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.

"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.

I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.

"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.

"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."

I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."

She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.

It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.

By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.

I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.

"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.

She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."

I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"

Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."

Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.

"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."

A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."

She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"

My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.

—

"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.

She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"

I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"

"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.

"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."

She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"

I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."

I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."

After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.

"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."

"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."

She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.

Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.

When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.

Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.

Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.

So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.

"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."

I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."

She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.

Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."

She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.

Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."

Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"

It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."

Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.

"It was you."

I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"

She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."

My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.

"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."

She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.

Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.

"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.

She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."

My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.

"What?"

She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"

Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.

I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."

She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.

"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.

Wanda felt right.

—

When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.

Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.

The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.

"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.

I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."

My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."

"Mhm."

"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."

I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."

"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."

Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.

"Me, too."

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen #marvel #marvel imagine

[smallrainclouds]

It's not easy having yourself a good time

we're on a double-date with other people... why are we kissing? you're not my date

Credit for prompt to

Hypnos x reader (modern!College!au)

Word count: 2.7

Warning: some dating violence on OC's side. Wrist grabbing, slurs and controlling behavior.

Summary: this was the worst date of your life. Thankfully it's also Hypnos' worst date ever.

A/N: here have this fic. I had yandere! Hypnos I was working on but it's giving me issues (it was supposed be under 1k but it keeps growing).

Also, I am open to requests but will rejected any I don't feel comfortable doing.

No beta.

Thank and I hope you enjoy.

💤☁️💤

You regret everything.

You stared at the plate of food you didn't order, some sad little salad that somehow smelled greasy.

Why did you let yourself get talked into a group date? You know why, you thought your friend was going to try to set up with your lab partner, Hypnos.

You looked at the bubbles in your sparkling water, another thing you didn't order and wondered if the person you were with would ever stop talking.

You glanced up at the group at the table. Across from you with his own date next to him, was Hypnos who was frowning at your date.

At least you had one sane classmate with you. Hypnos had been your lab partner since the first day in senior year and honestly you had thought at first your friend was setting you up with Hypnos. If you had known it was with someone else, you would have bail.

Charlie was a nice person you told yourself and your friends thought they would be great for you. Charlie was just… maybe they didn't know you don't order people's food for them.

"Look what I'm saying, Hypnos, is that maybe that YouTuber guy shouldn't be called out as much. Not his fault people can't take jokes anymore." Your date, Charlie, said loudly across the table to Hypnos who just raised a brow.

You rolled your eyes, You weren't going to let your friends pick a date for you ever again.

"Alright buddy. Whatever you say." Hypnos shrugged.

Hypnos' date and fellow classmate leaned across Hypnos, her breasts pressed against his arm. You looked away, poking at your food. You certainly were not jealous, you told yourself.

"Come on, guys. Let's talk about something else." she whined. The other two couples that came along echoed their agreement.

Hypnos grimaced and sat up taller, making the girl sit up as well. You felt kinda bad for both you and Hypnos. Clearly neither one of you guys were getting on with your dates.

You looked toward your friend, hoping she would notice how poorly everything was going. You rolled your eyes when she was clearly lost in her own world, feeding her partner french fries.

Too bad your date wasn't with Hypnos. You thought he was actually cute back when You first saw him, if not a little odd looking with white curls and heavy lidded eyes. Now, you couldn't imagine a more handsome person.

You found your eyes kept going back to him throughout dinner. Especially when he pushed his hoodie sleeves up, showing off his forearms.

The table moved on to some marvel movie or something but you were drifting in and out. You kept checking your watch in hopes that you could end the night soon without being rude.

You could feel someone was watching you and you looked up to Hypnos' golden eyes looking at you. He glanced at the group, back at you and rolled his eyes. You smiled in agreement but quickly covered it up with your hand.

Hypnos pointed toward your plate with the uneaten food, eyebrows rised in a questioning way.

You tilted your head toward your date who was loudly having another argument over some tv show with one of the guys there.

Hypnos looked at your date for a second before he sneaked you his untouched plate of pancakes.

You mouthed, 'Are you sure?' and he nodded, pointing at a plate of mostly eaten omelet.

You mouthed a quick thank you and dug in. You were half though the plate of pancakes when your date noticed.

"Wait, where did you get the pancakes?" Charlie asked, "You know how fattening all that carbs and sugar are? I like my dates to be healthy."

"What?" You asked flatly. Did you really hear what you just did? Hypnos and his date were both staring at Charlie. Hypnos looked furious and You saw the girl send you a pitying look.

"Oh. come on, you know I don't mean it like that."

You suddenly lost any appetite you had and pushed the plate of food away. You looked toward your friend who remained blissfully unaware of your pain.

Your date swung an arm on your shoulders, you sighed annoyed at the causal possiveness. You only knew them for like two hours but they were already acting like you were going steady.

"Ready to hit the club, Y/N?" Your date asked.

You almost groaned, you had forgotten about the stupid club.

"Uh, sure. Yeah." You tried to wiggle your date's arm off but no dice. You thought you saw Hypnos send a disapproving look at your date but you weren't sure. No point getting your hopes up.

As you exited the diner, Hypnos tripped; knocking into your date and their arms off your shoulders.

Grateful for the excuse, you took a few steps out of their reach.

"Oops, my bad." Hypnos smiled widely, and gave a shoulder pat to your date who glared at him. "Just watch it alright?" Your date snapped as they made it to the carpool.

In the car, you peeked at Hypnos who just winked at you. You didn't hide your smile this time.

The club did nothing to improve your date or your mood. The loud bassy music was almost too loud to hear anyone and your date kept trying to get you to stay on the dance floor.

You were able to duck out of their hold and pointed to the table. They tried to tell you something but You didn't stick around.

You almost fell into the booth, your feet were throbbing and you just wanted to go home. You could just see your homework growing by the hour.

"Need water?" Hypnos asked. You looked up, "Oh I didn't know you were at the table. Yes please."

He handed you an icy cold bottle and you moaned at how good it tasted. He laughed and you blushed, feeling foolish.

"Sorry, thank you." You took a slip, without moaning this time thankfully.

Hypnos went back to his phone, fingers moving quickly. "No problem."

"Where is… um what was her name?" You asked, trying not to look at Hypnos too much. How dare he look this good in the club' dim lighting.

"Oh I forgot her name. But she is doing fine. Told me she was going home with her ex." He pointed to the dance floor where the girl was dancing against another guy, their mouths glued together.

You looked back at him, but he already was back to texting on his phone. He didn't seem upset at all.

"I'm sorry, Hypnos." You said awkwardly, not sure of what to make of this whole night.

"Don't be. I'm not." He shrugged. You couldn't help but notice how nicely the red hoodie fit him.

"I will admit though I don't think I will be trusting our friend's matchmaking skills after tonight." Hypnos looked at you, his amused smile made you smile in return.

"You and I both." You murmured your agreement.

You finished off your drink, eyeing him.

After a few more minutes, your willpower broke.

"Okay I gotta know. It has been months since I met you and it is bugging the crap out of me." You leaned forward to him.

He looked up from his phone, a white eyebrow raised.

"Is Hypnos your real name?" You asked him, not quite able to look away from him. You were being a silly school girl and you knew it.

He laughed, "Yeah, it is." He moved closer, his eyes bright. "Wanna know why?"

At your nod, he spoke. "When my mom was pregnant with me and my brother. She got kinda crunchy, got into healing crystals and tarot cards, stuff like that."

Hypnos waved a hand. "So when she couldn't pick names for us, she went to a psychic, who told her that she was a reincarnation of the goddess Nyx. And apparently she was pregnant again with the reincarnated gods of sleep and death."

You couldn't help the small laugh and Hypnos chuckled as he took a sip of his beer.

"Mom believed the guy." He pointed to himself, " So ta-da I got named Hypnos. And my brother is Thanatos."

"Your mom sounds like a fun lady." You played with your hair, enjoying the warmth in your stomach. You couldn't remember the last time someone made you feel such things.

"Oh definitely. I never know what I'm going to get when I see her." Hypnos said fondly.

When You shifted your seat, your leg brushed against his. You almost pulled away but Hypnos pressed his leg against yours. You could feel the heat of his body and it just made you want more.

His golden eyes searched yours, silently asking if he could do this. You returned the gentle pressure and flushed at his soft smile.

"How does your brother handle the whole Thanos name thing?" You asked, desperately trying to calm your racing heart.

A devious glint lit Hypnos' eyes, "Oh he hates it so much. He already hated the whole super hero thing. Last year for his birthday, I got him a cardboard cutout of the big guy. I thought he was going to shove it down my throat. I got his boyfriend Zagreus and their girlfriend Meg in on it this year, we going to -"

"Hey Y/N. Are you coming back to the floor?" Charlie's eyes narrowed, "Hypnos, I think your actual date is looking for you."

You pulled away, you had forgotten about Charlie and you couldn't help but feel some guilt, even if you didn't like them that much or at all.

Hypnos stayed in place, amusement on his face. You saw Charlie's fists clenched and knew they were about to start a fight and stood up.

You were definitely going to block Charlie's number after tonight was over.

"Come on, let's get some drinks for everyone. They should be coming back soon." You motioned for Charlie to follow you. They glared at Hypnos before following you.

You couldn't resist a quick glance back to Hypnos, who raised his beer at you in a 'cheers' motion.

💤☁️💤

Charlie was sullen and quiet as you ordered more drinks for the group. You couldn't blame them really, anyone would be put out when their dates are clearly having a better time with someone else.

Well, not Hypnos but Hypnos wasn't exactly normal, you thought fondly.

You tapped the bar, guilt gnawed at your guts as your thoughts went back to Hypnos.

"So what were you guys talking about?" Charlie slurred, his tone icy.

You took a breath, just a few more hours you reminded yourself. "Nothing much. Just about his brothers and stuff."

Charlie crowded into your space. You can smell the booze and sweat on them.

"You guys seemed like you were sitting pretty close considering you were talking about 'brothers'." They did a finger quote.

You rolled your eyes, unable to stand being near them any longer. You stepped away to head back to let your friends you were bailing for the night.

"Tell me what he said to you." Charlie demanded as they grabbed your wrist harshly.

"Ow, let go of me! You are hurting me, Charlie." You hissed, trying not to draw any attention.

"Tell me." They hisses back.

"I did. Buy your own drink, I'm going home." You tried to yank your hand away but they didn't let go.

"Look I've been nothing but nice to you and you're cuddling up to another guy on our date like some slut." They changed their tone, trying to sound more upset than controlling but it just made your stomach twisted in disgust.

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but after a moment you shut it, "You're right. Clearly this isn't going to work out so let me go."

"No, you own me something, Y/N." Charlie leaned toward you. "And I'm not leaving empty handed."

"Fuck off." You snapped, fear rising in your chest.

"Hey, man." Hypnos grabbed Charlie's wrist and squeezed tightly enough that they were forced to let go of your wrist. His normal light-hearted tone was hard. "I think Y/N had enough of your company tonight."

You took some steps back, shaking a little. Without looking at you, Hypnos asked. "Y/N, do you need to go get anything?"

"N-no. I have everything. I want to leave." You hated how weak you sounded and you wished that you never came out at all.

Hypnos held on to Charlie's wrist and yanked them toward him. You heard Hypnos murmur something to them.

Fear flashed over Charlie's face and they stumbled backward. "Fine. Whatever asshole."

Hypnos turned to you, his eyes darkened by his anger. "Come on, I can get you a ride home."

You just nodded, feeling very exhausted and close to tears.

💤☁️💤

The cold wind felt like heaven after the heat of the overflowing club. At least for the first two minutes.

You just walked, not quite sure where to go. Hypnos walked next to you, easily keeping up with your pace.

Neither one of you said anything as you tried to process the horrible night.

After walking for ten more minutes, Hypnos spoke up. "There is a park nearby, we should be able to find a park bench."

You just nodded, Hypnos offered an arm and after a moment you took it. You pressed your cheek against his shoulder, soaking in his body heat.

The park was empty, lit by warm path lights.

"Thank you." You said. "You didn't have to do anything for me."

"It's all good. How about the wrist?" Hypnos asked softly.

"It doesn't hurt. Thank you since you stepped in." You patted his forearm.

Hypnos sighed, "No. Not thanks to me actually. Its kinda my fault, I've been pushing their buttons for most of the night."

You looked up at Hypnos, your brow furrowed. "What? No, they have been pretty rude since the start of the date. I mean, you heard the salad thing. They ordered it for me!"

Hypnos shook his head. His breath coming out in white puffs. "Yeah and because I was jealous, I made a bad date into a nightmare. I knew I was making them feel all threatened, it wasn't hard honestly. I didn't think they would grab you like that. I just thought they would be a bad date you could laugh about later."

It took you a moment to process his words. You stopped on the park path, staring off at the lake.

"You were jealous?" You asked, not quite believing what you were hearing.

"Very." Hypnos chuckled bitterly.

"Hypnos, you are an idiot." You said blankly.

He opened his mouth to say something but you pulled him down by his collar to kiss him.

At first, Hypnos doesn't return your kiss and you pull away, an apology already on your lips.

But he cupped your face and met you again in a sweet, slow kiss. He kept pulling away to press chaste kisses against your lips and cheeks.

"Damnit, I was planning on asking out you after our last class assignment. I had a plan for everything. I was going to take you to your favorite coffee shop and buy you that dumb drink you like. Take you the park by our dorms and ask you by the duck pond." Hypnos said between kisses and pressing one last long kiss against your lips.

You hummed, unable to think straight. "Our friend ruined that, huh." You laughed when you could feel him growled against your lips. "You have no idea, I had a speech and everything."

After another long and soft kiss, both of you pulled away only to met again in a forehead press. Your white puffs of breath mingled together and your heart felt so full.

"You could still do the coffee and the speech. And the ducks." You whispered.

"Yeah?" Hypnos asked softly, his thumb caressed your cheek.

"I have to do a lab with a very cute classmate tomorrow but I'm free after that." You flushed, pleased at the fond smile Hypnos had.

"That's funny, so am I." Hypnos replied.

Unable to hold off any longer, you pulled him into another kiss, one of the many yet to come.

#hypnos x reader #hades hypnos #fanfic #hope you enjoy #Spotify

[i-love-hobbies]

My happiness with Eda kinda not being rude towards Lilith (ft. Hunter)

I already praised this but I just realized, I should have more!

In this essay I acknowledged everything bad Lilith has done, so I'm not doing it here, but you DON'T need to read it to understand this post!

Here I forgot something really important.

Lilith was in a cult!

We all know about the people that tell cult members stories of how they have sacrificed people to satan and then laugh about it.

They're laughing about someone being genuinely scared for their life!

This is a threat to them!

Sometimes people that run cults use this to make sure their members are scared from the people outside the cult.

They also make them try to "save" others so it gets even worse.

I'm really happy that Eda's answer to "You look like some sort of a trash collector. Oh wait, you are!" wasn't "I was told by wild magic to sacrifice the person that says this to me at midnight! The last time this happened It felt so relaxing! See you then!"

This repeated a few times in my opinion would have stopped Lilith from saving Eda in episode 19, because if she doesn't join the coven she is beyond saving plus Lilith is risking to become just like her. And later on Lilith would have probably had even more mental health issues. I don't want to imagine Luz, King and Hooty.

Disclaimer:

I can't find a way to continue without saying how I think this should be handled. So I should say I'm not an expert.

I'm an atheist, the last supernatural thing I believed in was fortune telling, chakras and so on. But I realized how easily this can be used to scam people.

My parents buy this tea from this people, that say every doctor except for surgeons can be replaced.

Luckily my parents don't believe in everything.

I wouldn't say I have a lot of experience with this as I'm not sure if what I described is called a cult, honestly. But I've seen some stuff.

Like the fear in my mom's eyes, when I don't take tea, cause it "helps with my tics, adhd and mental health".

How did Eda handle it?

We don't know much about how Eda decided to not join a coven or how much she has heard of other people stories.

But we do know at one point she stopped believing in Belos.

Season 1

She never really talked about Belos with Lilith.

I think this was a good choice, cause all she would get is Lilith telling her how clearly in the wrong she is. Plus Lilith is tired, she can barely process new information and everything in her life is about the coven.

I've heard some people suggest that Eda should have broken into the coven and gotten Lilith out of there. This is a horrible idea. It would only scare Lilith and she would try to run away.

She shouldn't be kept captive. This will traumatize her even further. At this point she'll try to kill herself so she doesn't become like her sister.

So what did Eda do? She put on a show for Lilith to enjoy, full of nostalgia.

She gave Lilith what she needs, a break.

She was showing her that things haven't changed.

When Lilith opened up a bit in episode 11, she showed that it isn't dangerous.

When Lilith came to her house, she played a game with her.

The only time she did something resembling her "I'm gonna steal your tongue." jokes was "If anyone is putting you down it's gonna be me."

Which considering what just happened was clearly not gonna be taken seriously and gave Lilith even more nostalgia.

If Belos didn't give Lilith a timer she was on her way out of the coven.

The problems I have with Eda here are her laughing at Lilith for thinking she'd join the coven as if anyone in there is an idiot, making Lilith defensive.

Also her lie in episode 17 which made the game way too important.

Don't get me started on what would have happened if she lost or when Lilith realises she was lieing.

Episode 18/19

Now in episode 18 Eda lost it. She tried to talk Lilith out of it IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT.

She was trying to hurt Lilith the whole finale, both physically and emotionally.

I'm not calling Eda a bad person, this is how humans react, she went through hell, but this was a mistake.

She should have tried sneaking or something and if she got caught only force to the point of getting out. No name calling.

Season 2

It took her less than two weeks to stop guilt tripping her.

They worked on their competitiveness problem in the second episode.

They could trust each other with physical stuff like the other putting themselves in danger for them.

Lilith is in a safe space, wether she believes so is debatable, though.

I'm impressed by Eda except for the guild tripping but again she's "human".

She deserves praise for this impressive response to Lilith being in the coven. It's not perfect but knowing the average person, it's godlike.

Hunter

After episode 9 I think she might try to help, but so far she hasn't.

She threatened him and then got humiliated.

She made fun of him even after seeing Hunter obviously being hurt by it.

"Don't you recognise that annoying voice?"

"Why does everyone say that?"

"You must be fun at parties!"

No wonder Hunter doesn't respect her at all. He has only seen her the episode after the finale and one episode after Eda's requiem.

The last line was after he was trying to help her.

The only good thing is that, she isn't talking about Belos.

I died from second hand embarrassment watching both of these episodes.

#toh #the owl house #eda clawthorne #toh eda #eda the owl lady #edalyn clawthorne #the owl lady #toh lilith #lilith clawthorne #toh hunter #toh golden guard

[monstersslut]

Parent Problems #5

Kind of a vent here, but does anyone else have a parent that does nice things for them, but with a catch?

Like today, for example, my mother ended up buying me two dresses at a nice little antique shop, because the owner convinced her to. And since she bought them, she made me promise to clean all the floors in the house, and even went as far as saying that buying me the extra dress was "undeserved grace," because I didn't do shit to earn it, as in do enough chores to my mom's liking, and even saying "I hope you're grateful I bought you that."

I guess, in my mom's pov, she thinks I somehow mooch off of her, so therefore I don't deserve just to get blessed with things. Or maybe she thinks she's preparing me for life by NEVER fucking just getting me something without making me work it off.

What she doesn't -- and I think even chooses -- not to realize, is that this method of making me work my ass off to "deserve blessings" since I was 15 yrs old, "because money doesn't grow on trees" is really only just making me feel like I'm not naturally worthy of kind treatment. It's also starting to make me feel bad whenever a friend spends money on me because they're doing it out of kindness and not obligation, so I naturally feel bad now, like I didn't do anything to deserve their kindness.

Especially when she knows I've been in the working world, and that I've known the value of a dollar since before I even started working. However, she literally chooses to ignore that fact, and I think it's so she doesn't feel guilty or concerned she's being a bad mom by making me buy my own groceries, knowing I'm not working, "because she's no longer obligated to," just because I'm 20 and live under her roof.

So thanks to her, I'm scraping by with food for myself every fucking week, while I'm in between jobs.

Like when I was injured and couldn't go grocery shopping for myself, so I asked if she could do it for me, the first fucking thing she said to me was "with who's money?!"

Instead of, I don't know, being a normal fucking mom and just taking compassion on me, and wanting to do it?

And on top of that, thanks to some speeches at my great-uncle's funeral yesterday, my mom was "inspired" to get money out of letting me have one of her cars when she's already gonna sell the other one for a better one for herself anyway.

So nowww on top of everything else I need to buy once I start working, PLUS saving up to move out, I have to give her $25 every month so that I can "buy" the car from her, when literally before the funeral, she was just gonna let me have it. But now I gotta pay it off?

The shit she fucking does to me, I swearrr to God.

Also, when she was caring for my late-nana for two weeks, she got superrrrr pissed that I wasn't cleaning the house literally every day, when I was just tryna enjoy my alone time with her gone, and even said I need to "work towards being a cleaning machine, otherwise no one's gonna wanna be my roommate."

And my older cousin who grew up with her, told me last night to "treasure my mom, you only get one mom," mainly because hers passed away, and she wished she was a better daughter, but I bet you her mom didn't do half the narcissistic shit mine does towards me.

Yeah, we only get one mom, but sometimes the mom we're born to lowkey doesn't like, or is jealous of us, even though they claim to love us, when their actions SCREAM different.

Like even saying I should "always listen to my mom, because she's always right?"

Oh, so she's even right in tryna guilt trip me over just fucking going through a drive-thru, or making me feel like shit for not cleaning the house every single day because I suffer from depression, or getting greedy for money by making me pay off getting the car from her, when she originally was just gonna let me have it?

Yeahhh, okayyyy.

#parent problems #pls pray for me #i fucking hate it here #anyone else or just me #narcissism #narcissistic parents #toxic moms #toxic parenting #vents #personal #rant #shitposting #i cant take much more of this #someone help

[ofstarsandvibranium]

I am so confused and restless rn. I took a break from schooling and working because of my mental health, can't drive because my parents insisted that I didn't need to go driver's ed and that they could teach me (so that was a lie.. and they kept shouting at me and exaggerating the severity of my driving so now I'm too scared to drive, but obviously it's all my fault and I just don't want to drive on purpose, right??). I've told my mom all of this and she says she knows("I know how you feel", proceeds to talk all about herself), but then says if I had been working then things would be so much easier for her. Like, way to constantly guilt trip me every time I wanna take care of myself. I know I'm a burden, I've thought of ending things practically every day for the last 12 years to make things easier for everyone. She's done this for years where she says something isn't my fault, but if I hadn't done this or hadn't wanted that, then things would have been better. Which means I can't want things or choose my own path?? I want my own space so bad, but because of her I can't be independent from her (she's overprotective of me, didn't allow me to go out on my own for as long as I can remember while my sis could go out whenever she wants, wherever. She constantly calls when I'm out with friends and needs to know who's with me. I have to report back to her whenever we go to or leave somewhere. She makes me question my own decisions and I ultimately don't go through with anything and she's insistent that her way is right.) I've had to share a room with her for years now, and I'm only comfortable when she's not home. When she does get home, I'm her therapist or emotional punching bag. It's always been like this since I was little, yet my older sister calls me spoiled.

Wait. Have you told me about your mom before because this sounds really familiar??

Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds like you have an extreme helicopter mom. Always hovering and shit.

I dont know if this will work considering how communication currently is with your mom. But try to sit down with her and first start off with "I really need you to listen here. Allow me to speak and express all of my thoughts and feelings. Afterwards, you can talk and we'll discuss everything that's been going on."

I've done this with my dad, who I have a lot of issues with, but, unfortunately, I sometimes have to treat him like a child and very clearly and explicitly tell him that I want to have a serious conversation and that I dont want to be interrupted so I can get my thoughts across. The times that I've done this has worked out fairly okay.

But if you're able to do this, very clearly and explicitly tell her that you would like to achieve certain goals and aspirations, but her insistence with everything is preventing you to do so. Also, acknowledge that you know some of the things she says and does is because she loves you, but as her child, you need to grow and become more independent and find yourself.

And then also note that some of the things shes said and done are also detrimental to you.

I learned this method in one of my communications classes. It's all about looking at the situation at all angles, acknowledging what's been said and done, and moving forward on how to improve.

You may have these thoughts of "I'm the child. They're the parent, they should be able to do this, not me." And rightfully so. Unfortunately, some people, especially parents like to push their problems onto their kids, use them as scapegoats or treat them as their therapists and its extremely harmful to the children. I'm 100% speaking from experience. And, you just have to be the bigger person sometimes.

Honestly, I'm not sure if these things will help you. They've helped me in my own situations, so feel free to work around some things.

I hope this helps you in some way or another. If my advise was shit, I'm sorry. If anyone has anything to add, feel free.

[smartzelda]

Okay *Demyx voice* Arendelle time!

Poor Sora😂

That gust of snow just moves in and he's like "Coat! Please! I'm an islander!"

Donald just shrugs it off like "That's not how it works. Go and freeze."

This is where I bring up the "kh3 is self aware thing" again because now we actually have Sora dying from the snowy area, and then when Sora just like completely forgets about it, Donald and Goofy are like, "Islander my butt. He's not even feeling it anymore, is he?"

Sora getting the first puzzle piece to the situation when Elsa runs away, a sad look on her face. Y'know, the beginning of that Riku to Elsa and Sora to Anna parallel, Elsa running away because Anna and the whole Kingdom are better off without her

Elsa: *uses magic*

Sora, Donald, and Goofy: *surprised pikachu face and slightly fearing for their lives*

If I'm remembering correctly, there's a section right here where you basically fight a bunch of enemies in the huge area

I distinctly remember running around, (and Xion could vouch for this) fighting the enemies, and very monotonely voicing that I was about to die

So...ice maze.

In my proud runthrough I really had to get to a save point so I zoomed through the ice maze as fast as possible. This time I took the time to explore every room and beat all the enemies. I still hate light rails with a passion.

So, the avalanche gets started at the top once we reach the palace, pushing Sora, Donald, and Goofy off

I... The ice dragon thing was so bad. I spent forever, dying and dying and dying to their stupid laser beams. It happened so many times that I had to go to bed and try it again the next day. I would get to the part where all three flew in the air and shot beams, and it felt so unpredictable and stupid and impossible because I would dodge beams from two, and the third's would appear right under where I was landing, which was impossible to judge. It was here I learned a lesson: Use the Kupo Coin when you need it

Bless the kupo coin for saving my stupid butt

The sled part after that stressed me out cause it wasn't hard, but I had a bad habit of bumping into things, so...😂

I pretty much just abused shotlocks, ultimate form, light form/double form okp, and thunder or thundara or whichever I had at the time and I finished those dragons off

Spiky brown grass 😂😂😂😂

Poor Sora is so frustrated that he didn't get a color like green or blue like Donald and Goofy

The part where Anna talks to Sora about Elsa and he finally puts some pieces together and relates it to him and Riku really gets me every time because their situation is a big Soriku parallel. I know this is one of the scenes that's probably been soriku analyzed to death, but like

Elsa and Anna used to play all the time when they were really little like best friends

Baby Sora and Riku, best friends, used to play together all the time

One day, Elsa shuts Anna out because she doesn't want to hurt her

Kairi enters the scene, Sora starts paying a little more attention to her, Sora and Riku's duo relationship isn't terrible, it just does a little decrease. The literal shutting out in which Riku and Sora close the Door to Darkness. Then, the shutting out when Sora wakes up in kh2 and Riku alienates himself because of his guilt over what he did, and what leads into the next part of the parallel

Elsa accidentally uses her ice magic and flees the kingdom to the north mountain. She alienates herself so she can't hurt anyone (especially Anna) and because she thinks the kingdom and Anna are better off without her

Riku feels like he can't win without using the power of darkness and is weak. He is ashsmed that he relied on darkness and it showed in his appearance as Ansem. He alienates himself from Sora and everyone because he feels like he can't show his face as Ansem and because he thinks Sora is better off without him.

Sora, of course, puts these pieces together with Anna's story and makes the parallel connection between him and Anna, then Elsa and Riku in his head. I like how he says, "If anyone can help her, it's you," because I feel like that's him remembering his situation with Riku when he wanted to find him and that because of the reason for Riku's actions, only he could help.

And I think it's interesting that it's first Anna saying "I have to bring her home" and then Sora saying "I'm sure she knows now much you love her" for him to make these parallels. I think that implies that Sora gets that Elsa and Anna are siblings that love each other and he's thinking over what Riku means to him and even what he means to Riku.

Also Sora (in jap ver dialogue) realizing that maybe Riku pushed him away because he's someone precious to Riku is like...

My heart bro...

Ngl, so many times here I moved up the mountain fighting enemies and died that I'd go halfway up the mountain, then backtrack all the way back to the save so I wouldn't have to keep completely starting over every time I got oneshotted by an armored body. I did that multiple times for this area.

So, we get to the point where Sora finally reaches the top of the mountain again. For whatever reason I couldn't remember if it was like that before, but the Elsa freezing Anna's heart scene and it flashing between that and Sora, and then Sora holding a hand to his heart in pain right after we see the shot of Elsa putting ice into Anna's heart.

I think it's a parallel and Nomura's tryna tell us/foreshadow something

Okay, so big oof on the Marshmallow fight. I think on my proud run I got a bunch of times to use the team attack with the tree. I swear I only got to use it twice counted up from all my attempts on this run

The suckiest part was armored mode. I did a lot of trying to let Donald and Goofy do the work here cause I didn't wanna get oneshotted, but that didn't always quite work out... I eventually did it though, snd of course Sora, Donald, and Goofy are knocked off the mountain again

Idk how mant times I'm gonna keep saying this, but poor Sora. He's just so done and frustrated. "I could do this a hundred times."

And then Donald and Goofy both take him seriously 😂

"Please don't."

"Yeah, we should do it again!"

Awwww, Marshmallow. He just wanted to protect Elsa. I know that's what he was created to do, but that's still sweet

Sweet Sora boy making friends with anything that moves and we love him for it

Marshmallow made my life with enemies a little easier ngl

At the save point right before seeing Kristoff, I did some meteorite farming in gummi space and took a trip to the bistro. By this point I had excellents on all but 3 dishes because I didn't have the ingredients yet.

Also, by this point I was blessed with adorable remmy and Sora getting presents. Remmy got his own tiny present!

And I'm sure you know this already, but like...I have a soriku obsession right now, so I enjoy making things into little personal Soriku references

Exhibit A: My gummi and Teeny Ships

They are both named after Yozora and contain the colors for Sora, Riku, and Yozora

Okay, so back in Arendelle, Sora, Donald, and Goofy temporarily leave Marshmallow behind, and we come upon Kristoff and another Soriku parallel

Kristoff: "No, Sven! We're not going back. She's with her true love."

Riku: "You mean Kairi. To Sora, she's someone very special."

Sora: "Where'd Anna go?"

Kristoff: "She's back at home."

Sora: "Something happen?"

Kristoff: "Anna was struck in the heart by Elsa's ice magic. If the ice isn't removed, she'll freeze forever. Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. So I took her back to Arendelle and to her true love, Hans."

Xion: "Do you know where Sora is now?"

Riku: "That secret stays with me."

Xion: "Why's that?"

Riku: "Xion...your memories...they really belong to Sora."

Xion: "So you mean...I'm like a part of him?"

Riku: "When his memories were scattered, some of them...found their way inside you. Now, Sora has been put to sleep so that we can piece together his memory."

Sora: "But...what about you?"

Kristoff: "What about me?"

Sora: "Uh, I sorta assumed you guys were..."

Kristoff: "Nooo! I just keep her from getting lost."

Xion: "So, do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

Riku: "Nah, I guess...I'm just sad.

Sora: "Really? Oh, but you seem so..."

Goofy: "Perfect together!"

Donald: "Yeah, like me and Daisy!"

So let's talk this over.

Point one, both assumptions on who the person in question's (Sora and Anna) true love/most important person is. This may have to do in part with some surface level stuff and Kristoff/Riku's anxiety that the person in question (Anna and Sora) probably doesn't like them like that.

Point two, the person in question has had something bad happen to them such as their memories being "erased" or their heart being frozen, needing some sort of action to save that person.

Point three, neither Riku nor Kristoff factor their feelings into the situation, Kristoff because he just feels the duty to save Anna and doesn't believe he is her true love, and Riku because he feels the duty to save Sora snd similarly does not believe himself to be Sora's special person (which didn't exactly factor in in Riku's case, but it's true he too pushed his feelings aside in all areas except saving Sora).

Point four, "I just keep [him] from getting lost" is totally something Riku or Sora would say about the other.

Point five, I added the last part because despite the insistence that Hans is Anna's true love, Sora, Donald, and Goofy agree that it seems Anna and Kristoff are perfect together, and it especially helps to know that on their side, they've seen that Anna and Kristoff work well together. They haven't seen her with Hans, and even in the movie, she and Hans don't get much screentime development. This is a parallel more to the soriku experience. On our side, we see Sora and Riku get a lot of screentime and development together, and it's clear that they care for each other. So when someone, even in game, insists that Kairi is most important to Sora, it feels like, "Oh, but Sora and Riku seem perfect together" and "But Kairi and Sora don't really get development like that or really much screentime together."

So, resuming the story (and the parallel), there's a gust of wind amd Kristoff looks towards Arendelle. He obviously feels something is wrong and says Anna's name before rushing off. I'm being completely honest, we've seen Riku too rush off, feeling that Sora's in danger. Prime example I remember though would be in the keyblade graveyard when Riku just gets a feeling and runs over to Sora, giving him a pep talk sorta just before everyone else gets swept up.

So, Marshmallow too, just like Kristoff, feels something is wrong, and gestures in the direction of Arendelle, saying Elsa's name, and the group is off to save Elsa and Anna.

And then, another parallel! Yes, Arendelle is Soriku parallel city over here!

Before Hans' sword reaches Elsa

Before the demon tide reaches Sora and Riku

Anna stands between the sword and Elsa

Riku stands between the demon tornado and Sora

Anna puts her right hand out to block the blow

Riku thrusts the keyblade in his right hand forward, directing the darkness around him and Sora into a tunnel

Anna completely turns to ice and saves Elsa, an act of true love

Riku attempts to save Sora at the expense of his own life, an act of true love, and is swallowed by the darkness

Anna gives one clear final breath

Riku gives one clear final breath

Elsa, alive due to her sister's act of true love, realizes the power of love and is able to save/unfreeze Anna

Sora's heart and body persist, arriving in the final world, his heart likely persisting due to Riku's act of true love, and his body due to Kairi, and he believes in himself and is able to go save Riku's heart

Just...ya know...food for thought...

And now, boss battle time! I believe I didn't have too much trouble on it when I dodged correctly. I beat it fine. One of my favorite shots I saw though was Sora using subzero impact with Ultima, but his clothes were the formchange color because I had just hit Ultima form right before. It was literally so epic!!

No, Marshmallow! You can't die this way! I need you to battle things for me-! Uh, I mean, you need to be alive because we care about you!

Just kidding Marshmallow! I love you and you're actually a nice snow giant with a big heart!

Cue Sora getting the example of the power of true love when Anna unfreezes.

THE PRETTY ANIMATION

Pretty animation Sora, I looooove you

Poor boy caring so much about everyone. He just wants to keep everyone safe.

And after Elsa gives another demonstration of the power of love, Arendelle is over.

#soriku #sora x riku #kingdom hearts 3 #critical mode #arendelle #parallels

[sparkythehappygiraffe]

i don’t wanna be lost

So after all of our GIVE JASON EMOTIONS shenanigans, this kinda wrote itself. I won’t pretend it’s good, but I enjoyed myself lol.

Anyway, here’s the fic on ffn if you prefer

Summary: When Jason's past comes back to haunt him, he is forced to deal with the emotions he's been ignoring for years. Luckily, he doesn't have to do it alone. (Title from Lost by Montell Fish)

~

It was another average day at the antique shop.

The Odyssey Historical Society had just brought in a few boxes for Jason to appraise for them and he was in the back of the shop, getting ready to open the first one.

Jillian was lingering in the doorway between the front and back of the shop. She was supposed to be at the counter, but the shop was empty and she was curious about the boxes.

Jason opened the first box and started carefully sifting through its contents.

"Looks like old war gear," Jillian said distastefully.

He pulled out a helmet. "From the Vietnam War," he said, brow furrowed.

"How do you already know that?" She asked.

Jason shrugged, but his voice came out a little quieter than usual, "I used to study this type of stuff."

"Ugh," Jillian groaned. "U.S. troops shouldn't have even been in Vietnam. All of those soldiers were literally killers. They did such awful stuff. It's a stain on U.S. history."

Jason dropped the helmet back into the box and forcefully closed it. His chest felt tight, his breathing, shallow. "Can we not talk about this," he said through gritted teeth.

"Why?" Jillian asked, confused. "Don't tell me you're actually a Vietnam War supporter. The people who died there died for nothing. It was such a waste of a war. I thought you were good with history, Jason. You should definitely know about that."

Jason didn't respond. He was breathing heavily now. His hands were starting to shake. When he tried to stand up, he knocked his chair over, sending it crashing to the floor.

"Jason what's wrong?" Jillian reached out to put a hand on his arm, but he shrugged it off.

"I–I'm fine." He could barely speak. He felt like the walls were closing in around him. Everything was blurring. The lights seemed so bright they were blinding. His eyes were burning and watery. He staggered toward the door to his office. He tripped over something on the floor and stumbled into the wall.

"Jason?" Jillian asked again.

Her voice felt so loud. Like she was pounding on his ear drums with drumsticks. "Just stop!" He heard himself yell. He didn't even realize he was doing it.

Finally, he opened the office door and made it into the room, slamming the door behind him. Hands still shaking, he fumbled to pull his cell phone out of his pocket. It took a few tries, but eventually he dialed his dad's number.

"Hey, Jason!" his dad answered brightly.

So loud.

When Jason didn't answer, Whit immediately sounded more concerned. "Jason? Son, are you there?"

After what felt like an eternity, Jason finally made his lips move. "Dad, I need you," he said softly.

"Are you at the antique shop?" Whit asked quickly.

"Yeah," Jason croaked, unable to elaborate.

His knees buckled underneath him and he sank to his hands and knees on the floor. He must have dropped the phone, but he didn't really notice. He felt like a weight was slowly crushing him to the floor. It was crushing his lungs so he couldn't breathe. It was crushing his head so he couldn't think. All he could hear was Jillian's voice: "All of those soldiers were literally killers," repeating over and over in his head.

Jerry wasn't a killer. He wasn't. He would never.

~

Whit rushed into the antique shop.

Without a greeting, he turned to Jillian. "Where's Jason? What happened?"

"He's in his office," she said. "I don't really know what happened, one minute we were looking at some war memorandum–"

"Memorabilia?"

"Yeah that. One minute we were looking through the stuff the historical society dropped off, the next he was yelling at me and he shut himself in the office."

"What kind of war memorabilia was it?" Whit asked.

"It was from Vietnam. Dumbest war in history."

Whit bristled a little. "Is that what you said to Jason about it?"

"Well yeah, I mean that's pretty common knowledge."

Whit sighed heavily. "Jillian, have you ever seen the war memorial in McAlister Park?"

"No," she said hesitantly.

"Why don't you go take a look at it?" Whit suggested. "Read the names on there carefully."

"Okay, but I don't–"

"Just go, you can come back in a little while."

After Jillian left, Whit tapped lightly on the office door, "Jason?" he called softly.

The only response was the sound of a muffled sob.

Whit carefully opened the office door. None of the lights were turned on. Jason's phone lay on the floor, as if tossed carelessly to the side. Jason himself was curled up on the floor, shoulders shaking as he cried.

Whit knelt next to his son. "I'm here, Jason," he said. Tentatively, he placed a hand on Jason's back. When he didn't flinch away, Whit rubbed slow circles there, like he had when Jason was sick as a kid, staying quiet for a long time.

After a while, Jason rolled over to face his father.

Whit's heart broke to see the despair in his son's eyes.

"I– I don't know what happened," he whispered. "I didn't think I would react that way."

Whit nodded. "Sometimes grief hits when you least expect it. It can be over the smallest thing. But it is normal."

"But I've seen so much," Jason said, voice cracking. "Something so small shouldn't be able to take me down like that. I was trained to be better than that."

"Jason, you're not undercover anymore," Whit sighed. "The way you've been living for so long… it's okay to be honest again."

Jason nodded, but he found it hard to take comfort in that.

~

That night, Jason sat alone at a bar just outside of Odyssey. He shouldn't be here. He had been dry for months now. But after the day he'd had, he didn't know what else to do.

He had waited until his dad was asleep and then snuck out of the house like some guilty teenager. It wasn't the first time. He wished he could say it would be the last, but he knew he'd be lying to himself.

He'd started drinking when he was undercover as the Stiletto. At first it was just a drink here and there while he met with contacts in random, grungy bars where no one would give them a second look. He had quickly realized how much he liked the numbness that a couple of drinks brought. It made him feel like maybe he was doing the right thing after all. It's not like he had wanted to go back to his life as an agent, but somehow he always got sucked back in.

When he drank he forgot his guilt. The guilt of living a lie day and night for months at a time. The guilt of leaving Odyssey and never looking back. The guilt of leaving Tasha to think he was dead. But he also felt guilty for drinking. So he drank to forget that guilt too.

Eventually, the alcohol didn't work like it used to. He could drink the night away and never feel the light numbness that he desired. He didn't even enjoy drinking anymore, but he did it anyway.

One night his habit caught up to him. He was on a mission, but decided to drink a little beforehand. With his senses dulled ever so slightly, he had missed every warning sign in the book. Next thing he knew, he was waking up tied to a chair.

After his escape (though he didn't make it out unscathed), he had quickly worked to curb the habit he had created. By the time he moved back to Odyssey, he was back to only drinking occasionally. He wanted it to stay that way.

But then there were nights like tonight.

He knew he would just lay in bed staring at the ceiling for hours if he tried to go to sleep. He would be thinking about Jerry. About all of the times he had failed Jerry. How he had wanted to become an agent to be like Jerry, but instead he had become a liar and, very nearly, a killer.

Jerry wasn't a killer. He wasn't. He would never.

Out of habit, Jason had sat at a spot along the bar that gave him a good view of the door. Each time it squeaked open, he instinctively looked up. Once an agent always an agent.

He had just finished his first drink when the door squeaked again and he looked up to see just about the last person he expected.

He and Connie made eye contact almost immediately. They both froze, equally surprised to see each other. Connie sheepishly made her way over to sit next to him at the bar.

"Wasn't expecting to see you here," was all she said.

"I could say the same thing to you."

She sighed. "I shouldn't be here."

"Me neither," he replied.

Neither of them moved.

He turned to look at her, "so what brought you to this fine establishment at midnight on a Wednesday?" he joked.

She laughed a little. "It's about the only place a girl can just sit alone after 10pm without getting strange looks. And I would know a lot about sitting alone."

Jason raised an eyebrow at her.

"I went on a date tonight," she explained.

"Ah," he said, finally understanding. "Was it that bad?"

"No," she said after a moment. "But it wasn't good. It wasn't a good fit. I'm starting to think I'll never find a good fit."

"I know how that feels," Jason muttered.

"I mean all I want is a good Christian guy with some common interests. It shouldn't be that difficult."

"Try looking for someone with common life experience," Jason said sardonically. "It won't get you very far."

Connie laughed.

The bartender brought them each their drinks.

Connie and Jason fell into a comfortable, but heavy silence. The silence of two close friends who had mourned together more than anyone should ever have to. Friends who understood each other's pain and loss and loneliness more deeply than most.

~

When they'd each finished their drinks, Connie spoke up again. "I heard about what happened earlier."

"Yeah," Jason sighed, looking down at his drink.

The look of shame on his face made Connie's heart feel heavy.

"Jason, look at me."

For a second, she didn't think he would respond, but finally, he turned his head to face her.

"It's okay," she told him. "It's okay to feel that way. It's okay to fall apart sometimes. To tell someone when you feel like you're going to fall apart. You can talk about how you feel. To me or your dad or even Eugene. You have friends, you know."

Jason looked back down into his empty glass. His lips were pressed tightly together. His eyes were shining and watery when the light hit them. He took a deep shuddering breath.

Connie put a hand on his arm as Jason started to cry. She quickly pulled out enough cash for each of their drinks and left it on the bar.

With a hand on Jason's back, she gently guided him outside.

When the brisk night air hit her skin, she turned to look up at Jason's face. Tears were openly falling down his cheeks now.

Without warning, Jason enveloped her in a hug. Pressing his face into her shoulder.

She held him tightly and for a while they just stayed there. Standing outside of a bar that neither of them wanted to be at. Thinking about things they wished they didn't have to think about.

Eventually Jason released her from his embrace and wiped at his face with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't be," Connie said firmly. He looked down at her and when they made eye contact, she realized they understood each other better than either of them had realized before.

A cool breeze blew between them and Connie shivered involuntarily.

"Let's go to my car," Jason suggested.

Connie followed behind him and got in on the passenger's side.

Jason started the car and cranked up the heat.

For a while they sat in silence.

"I'm so hungry," Connie finally said.

Jason laughed. "Me too."

"Where should we go?" Connie asked. "We can't go to our houses and everything's closed by now."

Jason thought for a moment. "Let's go to the shop, we can stop at the 24-hour gas station for snacks on the way."

Connie giggled, "let's do it!"

She felt so warm and happy sitting in the car with Jason. She knew some of that feeling was from the alcohol, but that wasn't the only reason she felt this way. She hadn't just spent time with friends on a late night in ages. Most of her friends were married and they all had jobs and responsibilities to deal with. She hadn't done something this spontaneous since her last picnic with Penny and Wooton; and she certainly hadn't been out this late since one of Penny's painting parties back when she still lived at the house.

They stopped at the gas station and bought a ridiculous amount of overpriced junk food. By the time they left the store, Connie was laughing so hard she was getting a stitch in her side.

Jason parked his car behind Whit's End and they hurried to unlock the door and bring their bags in before anyone saw them (not that there was anyone else in McAlister Park at 1am).

They turned on the lights in the kitchen and dumped their stash of snacks out on one of the counters.

They ate and talked, Connie laughing a little too much and even Jason being sillier than usual. They talked about everything from the important to the trivial. Connie told Jason about the woes of raising a teenager. Jason told her about a big auction he would be going to the next weekend. It felt nice.

Eventually they decided to bake some cookies. Connie knew she wasn't thinking straight at all by that point. Her low tolerance for alcohol combined with the exhaustion of staying up so much later than usual was making her act goofy.

At some point, Jason accidentally dumped flour everywhere, including all over Connie, and instead of getting mad like she would normally, she just laughed even harder.

They kept baking, but by the time the cookies were out of the oven, they had both decided they were too full from the junk food to try them.

When they both started yawning, they headed to the office, continuing to talk softly as they drifted off.

The last thing Connie heard before she fell asleep was Jason's low voice telling her about some mission he had been on once, but his sleepy, mumbled words were too difficult to understand.

~

Jason woke up disoriented and groggy. He looked at his phone: 5am. Then he remembered where he was.

He quickly hopped off the couch he had fallen asleep on. He and Connie were in the office where they had been talking until they fell asleep. He must not have been asleep for long, but if he didn't hurry up and get home, he wouldn't make it back to the house before his dad woke up.

He glanced over at Connie who was peacefully asleep and sprawled across the desk chair. Her head was hanging at an angle he was sure would give her a neck ache for the rest of the day and her mouth was hanging open just slightly.

He decided to let her sleep until he was ready to leave.

Jason hurried downstairs to survey the mess they had made in the kitchen. There was a sheet of cookies sitting out that he only vaguely remembered baking. He picked one up and tried it. Immediately, he gagged and spit the cookie back out. He had no idea what was in it, but it was awful.

He scraped the rest of the cookies off the sheet and into the garbage. He washed dishes, wiped down counters, and swept the floor. He took the trash out and then went back upstairs to get Connie.

She was fast asleep on the desk chair, flour still clinging to her cheek. He reached out and gently wiped it off with his thumb.

"Connie," he whispered.

No response.

He reached out and shook her shoulder gently, "Connie, wake up."

She stirred, grimacing as her eyes slowly peeked open. "Huh?"

"Sorry to wake you up, but we have to go if you want to be home before Jules and Jillian get up."

That woke her up. "What time is it?" She asked, quickly standing up and running her fingers through her messy brown hair.

"Ten 'til six."

She gasped, "we still have to go get my car."

He nodded, "let's get out of here."

They shut off all of the lights and locked everything up, just as it was before they had gotten there.

The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, the sky slowly changing from dark blue to purple to pink.

Jason wished they had more time to stop and enjoy it together, but they didn't have a second to spare.

They hopped in the car and Jason drove as fast as he dared back to the bar.

When they got there, he and Connie paused, neither of them really wanting to go home.

"Thanks for this," Connie said. "I really needed someone who… understands."

Jason nodded, smiling a little. "Next time we want to, you know," he tilted his head toward the bar. "We should hang out again. Without the alcohol."

She smiled, "Definitely. Call me any time."

She opened the car door and climbed out. "I mean it," she said before closing the door. "Any time."

He watched her walk to her car, get in, and drive away.

For some reason, he really hoped he would see her later that day.

When he got home, he unlocked the door and crept in as quietly as he could.

"Morning, son," his dad's voice called from the kitchen as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He froze. "Uh, hey, dad."

"Getting some early morning fishing in?"

Jason walked into the kitchen. "Yeah," he said, but it didn't sit right with him. "Well, actually no."

Whit raised an eyebrow at him.

Jason sighed. "Dad, I need to talk to you about something. I need help."

#aio #adventures in odyssey #fanfiction #jason whittaker #connie kendall #john avery whittaker #jillian sucks

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

ROUND ONE

It’s time to VOTE!!

Hey guys! It’s officially time to vote in Round 1 of Chopped Madness! The structure is simple! The fifteen (15) fics we received this round have been paired up head-to-head. Your job is to go through the eight pairings and select which author of the two fics you think deserves to move on to Round 2! The first poll, you will be asked to rank all 15 fics, the way you did in the Qualifying Round. This will help us to break any ties, and we will use this ranking to reorder the authors for the Bunker Brackets for Round 2.

At the end of the voting period, we will announce the EIGHT (8) authors who have been Chopped!! If you are not Chopped, that means you will be moving on to the next round, so keep an eye out for that post to be sure! If you aren’t sure you can always send us a message to check!

You can vote here at the updated survey!

Updated Voting Link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QM5B5TP

---

Unfortunately, one of our authors was unable to write. We have included a “BYE” in the position where their fic would be in the head to head, and informed their bracket partner. The author has been “Chopped”, and their Qualifying Round fic will be revealed in our Chopping Block post after the voting has ended.

---

The 15 fics that we receieved for this round can be found below, or on AO3 here! Each fic follows the Theme [Angst], includes the Tropes [Strangers to Lovers] and [Roadtrip], and has a central Character focus on [Harper McIntyre]! When you vote, please be sure to take into consideration the USE of all these elements, because, as with all other Chopped events, the purpose is to select the authors who best utilize the requirements!

into a cloven pine (Rated T) [Harper/Maya]

Summary: Maya starts sitting with her at meals, shrugging aside the judgmental looks of delinquents and Mountain Men alike. When Harper tries to delicately suggest that she sit somewhere else for her own good, Maya levels her with an icy glare and threatens to kick her under the table.

For some reason, that makes Harper giggle and she figures that someone who makes her giggle must be alright to sit with.

So, she ignores Miller’s warning head shakes and Fox’s teary-eyed frowns and she plays footsie with Maya Vie. Life is weird.

She might as well just go with it.

I Need You (Like I Need a Gaping Head Wound) (Rated T) [Harper/Echo] *Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death*

Summary: “And that was the new track from Lou Bega: ‘Mambo No. 5' off his new album ‘A Little Bit of Mambo'. Stay tuned for Backstreet, Britney Spears, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers comin’ at’cha in the next hour.” 

Harper shuts off the radio and leans back in the driver’s seat, taking her hands off the wheel and rubbing her temples. Traffic is worse than normal today, meaning she’s gonna be late. She’s already 45 minutes late getting back from lunch, meaning that Roan will probably call her into his office. That’s the last thing she needs today. 

Harper nearly jumps out of her skin when the passenger door opens and a tall, brunette woman vaults into the car. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU D--” 

“Drive,” the woman says, voice barely above a whisper.

venus, planet of love was destroyed by global warming (Rated G) [Harper/Monty]

Summary: In a world tainted by darkness, Harper meets Monty.

Take back my life (Prove I’m alright) (Rated T) [Harper/Monty]

Summary: Harper and Monty have been married for ten years and she is beginning to notice the cracks in their marriage.  Will a road trip for a job interview be able to save their marriage?

Like dust behind the wagon (Rated T) [Harper/Monre] *Major Character Death*

Summary: Harper and her family were in search of a better life in Oregon when tragedy struck.  She didn't think she would ever recover, and then she met Monroe, a lone traveler looking for a ride to Fort Bridger.

you can bloom again (Rated T) [Harper/Clarke]

Summary: Harper's always been a survivor.

She's survived an orphaned childhood, kidnapping, and torture. When a wave of fire stretches across the sky, she knows that she'll survive this, too - but when she meets a girl with a smile brighter than the sun, Harper wonders if surviving alone is what she really wants.

The Hardest Thing (Rated T) [Harper/Emori]

Summary: After shooting Baylis and escaping to the woods, Emori was utterly alone. She travelled through the lands of the Coalition, stealing from anyone and everyone. All of that changed when she met the last sky girl after the Mountain Men wiped out the rest of her people.

Harper had a map to a peaceful village across the sea, and Emori had nothing to lose.

Release (Rated T) [Harper/Murphy]

Summary: Her whole body is still tense, but this long habit of distrust has been formed in her, is not native to her, and his lazy, laconic air tempts her to put herself at ease. And she is curious. Behind them, the Detention Center is teeming, yet the desolation of the dim light and barren highway makes Harper feel as if they were the only two on the wide Earth.

Upon being released from the Arkadia Juvenile Detention Center, Harper takes a road trip to California with an old friend, his boyfriend, and another recently released delinquent.

What the Hell is a Pulmonary Embolism? (Rated T) [Harper & Clarke/Murphy]

Summary: Harper McIntyre wasn’t trained for this.

She was just a tour guide, how was she supposed to deal with the bus crashing in the middle of nowhere?

something more than momentary (Rated T) [Harper/Murphy]

Summary: The first rule of working for the Princess Protection Program was, well, keep your princess safe no matter the cost.

The second rule was don't get attached. Agent Murphy had followed that rule to the letter for years and never had an issue.

But now he's stuck in a car for the foreseeable future with a princess and a gunshot wound, and everything he's ever believed in just might be changing.

and the road gets tough (Rated M) [Harper/Monty]

Summary: It’s the end of the world and Harper McIntyre is done running. She’s done fighting against a life that relentlessly keeps pushing her down. But she has her son to worry about and she desperately wants him to have a new life and to experience it all. When they hit the road, she’s helped by a kind stranger who changes the course of things. Monty Green represents a life she wished she had been able to have, but it might still be too late.

everyone’s a different flower (Rated T) [Harper/Monty]

Summary: Harper McIntyre's life on Earth has been a simple one, and she's always been happy with that. But with a single diagnosis, her simple life is completely upended.

Her best friends think that an intergalactic trip across the universe is just what she needs to get her mind off of things. Raven thinks the change in scenery will do Harper some good. Clarke thinks the girl time will help.

(Harper thinks the cute space-botanist she meets might just do the trick.)

I wanna shoot the whole day down (Rated T) [Harper/Monty] *Major Character Death*

Summary:  Tell me why I don't like Mondays...

Or Tuesdays, or Wednesdays, or any day since you left us.

Never Gonna Give You Up (Rated T) [Harper/Raven]

Summary: Unknown: Hey, Monty guilted me into a road trip with those damned puppy dog eyes and seeing as neither of you can be in the same car, I am your road trip Uber. Name's Raven.  

Harper: Rookie mistake, you never look Monty in the eyes. That's how you lose.  

A road trip, huh?

Macushla (Rated T) [Harper/Monty]

Summary: Harper Noelle Margaret McIntyre, Countess of Rothes, must survive the unthinkable, when the unsinkable ship hits an iceberg in the middle of the Atlantic

// aka the Titanic AU that isn't Jack and Rose

---

#chopped madness #chopped madness: round 1 #round 1: angst

[minghaoss-archive]

mercury •lee taeyong(m)

"I don't ever mind sharing oxygen

I just wanna get lost in your lungs."

summary : it's the summer of your last year at school and you're still a frustrated joykill who wants to have her fun.

this is a planned series, tell me what you think, fellas

Part 1, 2

........

"Why me?" Taeyong asks this, with his pitch black eyebrow raised and his hands undoing the leather belt he prides himself in owning.

You gulp, pushing your glasses up your nose and shooting him a bashful look which makes him grin toothily. You search the deep shelves of your brain and delve out an answer that you'd cater to a question you didn't have the answer to. "Why not you?" You pause, having satisfied yourself with such a witty response. You smile at the entangled fingers of yours in your lap.

Taeyong pushes your chin up so you look at him instead, his eyes are a darkest form of black, sparkling like someone liqiuefied the night sky, generously stitched with stars and poured it into his irises. He's so beautiful. You think, unable to take your eyes off of him. When he touches your mouth, you're suddenly met with the realization that you have been gaping at him like a dumbstruck fool, your cheeks start to burn with a flaming red.

He grazes his thumb over your lower lip and pulls the muscle down, "Nice try, smarty but you need to answer better."

You think about it. You were on the field trip of the graduation batch of your school, which would later follow your last summer as a highschool student. (And) Unlike, most of your happy, experienced classmates, you were a virgin. The matter sat well with you for the longest time. You hid your libido away under the pile of study books and nerve wracking tests. You had little problem with it- until the last year of your highschool rolled around and an adult you'd become without having what is deemed to be one of the most special experiences of one's life- or at least that's what it was in the endless sea of romance novels you'd swallowed whole.

So here you were, despite having a boyfriend of four months, with little to do with touching or sex, here you were with another man in his wooden cabin whilst your boyfriend roasted marshmallows unknowing of the sin you're cooking up behind his back, here you were after you'd left that reddened parchment in Taeyong's locker which read 'I want you to rid me of my innocence.' - how ironic was it as the act of it itself was not at all innocent. How you mustered up the courage to do such a thing astonished you, had you really sent him a letter like that after you'd overheard some girl in your class saying how good he was in bed?

Regardless, you'd always had a crush on the leather jacket wearing, tattooed on, dark haired boy-longer than you'd like to admit and the feeling hadn't gone away even when you were someone else's girlfriend. He was everything you weren't but wanted to be. He looked like he could corrupt you to your bones and truly, you'd let him. So what was so bad in wanting the boy you'd ever so slightly loved for the first time in your life to take your virginity away from you? Nothing.

Taeyong leans in and brushes his nose against yours, his ring clad finger holding your chin in place, "You're taking too long, princess. Why, why not your stupid boyfriend?" You hum in the feeling of the alien proximity, it seemed that every little thing you imagined yourself doing with him had taken the shape of reality.

"I want you to ruin me." Taeyong's eyes darken at this, as if you've flipped a switch in him. He kisses you in a chaste manner at first, as if all he wanted to do was kiss, his fingers travelled into your hair as he pulls it back and elicits a low moan from you. Your stomach feels like it could explode from the weird heat fluttering inside. You'd never kissed anyone before, not even your boyfriend-as weird as it sounds, you both agreed on taking it slow- you did really mean it except.. the pace of your relationship was a little too slow for your liking but you hadn't the courage to tell him about it.

Taeyong kisses you again, with more heat in the kiss, as his fingers touch your throat gently, his thumb rested on your jugular as he pushes your little striped skirt upwards with his idle hand. "You're thinking about something, stop. Think about me now. Only me." He says, letting the touch of your fingers travel into his hair. His tongue tastes of coffee and marshmallows, and you bask in the feeling of him intermingling in every bit of you.

He fiddles with your oversized red crop top and pulls it over your head. He backs away, looking at you with a ravenous desire, he grabs the hem of his shirt and drags it off.

With inky eyes flitting over the newly exposed skin of your body, he drinks in your underwear, the lavender colored bra you wear with a small pink bow sewn in between and the garter belt which connects your pretty thigh highs to your underwear, which too has a matching bow but it's red in color, the fabric of your wear is black, like your socks, matching your outfit.

You blush at how uncoordinated the colors are, feeling like he would laugh at you for it. Seeing the look in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted as he pokes his tongue out and slides it over his teeth, your inside feel a familiar twist.

"God, you're just.." he starts but swallows the word against your mouth as he kisses you with great covet.

He hooks your thighs around his hips and pushes you down, he pulls away from you just to kiss you again, he really can't get enough. His black hair falls over his eyes and you look down at where your bodies are interlinked.

There's a deep scar engraved in Taeyong's lower abdomen, the small detail adds edge to his milky skin, he leans against you and you finally feel the hardness press at your clothed core. You sigh at the contact. You did this to Taeyong. A feeling of pride invades your stomach.

There's a peculiar air to the way Taeyong touches you, as if you were delicate, you're the most precious thing he's touched. When your arms wrap around his neck, he feels an inclination to stare at you. Like he couldn't believe it was happening.

He feels an urgency to call you his angel, and he does, in the way your hips rolls against his and the way his name falls from your lips. "You're so sweet, you're so pure, sweetheart." He says, kissing the skin below your chin. You feel like your body may burst into flames at the recurring phrases tumbling from his mouth.

It feels surreal, becoming one like this. You wonder if he can hear the erratic beat of your heart. You're one. You're whole. You feel like Taeyong completes you, as if all your life you've been one broken part of a pair. He makes you feel perfect. He makes you feel complete. There's a burning sensation in your lower stomach as you look at it bulging with every little thrust Taeyong delivers.

He holds your legs higher, over his shoulders as he gets to a deeper angle which sets your whole body alight.

You felt like you were a product of arson. Your body ablaze and you feel like you might fall over the edge any second now. You felt like you were at the peak of a mountain and you'd slip and fall without warning.

You raise your arms to wrap around his neck as Taeyong rests his palms against the small bed sheet to keep himself up, "Taeyong." You whimper as his member twitches inside of you from the name calling. "Please." Your plea spurs him on, as he continues with harder thrusts, "Please what, sweetheart?" His voice is a mix of a groan and a whimper when he feels you clench around him.

"Please kiss me." And he goes, stroking your sweat glistening in your hair, he holds it away from your face. “Precious, pure pure, my baby’s so pure.” He says, his thighs shaking as he slows his pace down.

When he feels like he would let off, he pulls out, you watch him pump himself before he cums on your stomach.

Taeyong cleans you up with a spare towel in the cabin and holds your legs apart. “I need to treat my pretty baby right.” He says, looking up from his lashes, eyes softening at the sight of your swollen mouth, heated cheeks and creased brows.

That day, before dusks kisses the horizon, your inner thighs are littered with generous bites Taeyong has left you with, he eats you out like it’s what he was born to do, his hands, one of which have the tattoo of a Phoenix-you see, holds your hips down as he laps at your core, curling his fingers inside of you, before you cum all over his hand.

He looks at you with a smirk on his face, his hair a touseled mess, his mouth is moist from eating you whole and he wipes neither the smirk nor the mess on his mouth until he leads you out of the cabin. You can’t believe it happened-Taeyong really is your first.

Taeyong drapes his sweater over your body, it smells of gasoline, just like he does. You marvel, as the black wool guards you from the frost bite in the area. You reach the camp fire separately, coming back to a bitter reality. You take a seat beside your boyfriend, Hendery, his eyes following you with a bright smile on his face, guilt shoots up your throat like bile as you watch the raven haired boy look at you with love in his eyes. You knew it was wrong, what you did. Your heart feels like it could break any minute now, the effect of realizing that what you did with Taeyong was a one time thing shrouded you like a blanket of hazy clouds.

Hendery compliments your sweater, pulling you out of your thoughts, and tells you he admires your choice. He holds your face, your body freezing at the contact as you feel him press his mouth to yours. The crowd surrounding the fire cheered and hollered with ‘woahs’ and ‘get a bedroom, you two.’

Your cheeks burn, at the action, mostly because you couldn’t stop thinking about Taeyong’s kisses when another man has done it to you. Your eyes dart across the crowd to meet Taeyong’s, they are darker than dark, and they look right to you, as he sits down on a log, the parting of his legs allowing a girl to sit between his legs. You wonder if it’s that easy for him, questioning the look in his eyes for a glint of envy. He looks as if he could set the boy beside you on fire.

Hendery breaks the staring by asking you if you had coffee before coming to the trip given the taste of Brazilian roasted beans he’d gotten from kissing you, he tells you he knows his coffee well and that you have good taste. He tries to ask you what brand you like the best, you open your mouth to answer, wracking youf brain for a lie. Every one of your classmates are staring right into your timid face, your nails dig into the material of your skirt. When their attention wears off as you continue to remain silent. They get back to grilling marshmallows, you’re relieved momentarily but Hendery still insists you answer, pressing your interlaced fingers to encourage you to go on.

“I had coconut milk Brazilan brewed coffee.” Taeyong whispers, taking a seat beside your boyfriend, breaking the silence. Hendery raises his brow at first, looking half astonished and half offended before his face falls with realization. He looks at you with widened eyes and you bite your lip as you let your gaze fall to your lap.

That night, you lose both your virginity and your boyfriend. Both to (and for) the same person.

......

#nct127 #taeyong smut #nct smut #smut #angst #nct imagines #nct series #lee taeyong #nakamoto yuta #way v #hendery #nct u #nct x reader #reader x nct #lee taeyong x reader #taeying x reader #nct u smut #taeyong #jaehyun #fluff #nct angst #jaehyun nct #jaehyun x reader #johnny #wayv x reader #neowritingnet

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I don't know if you've ever listened to When you're ready by Shawn Mendes but everytime I listen to it I can only think of Malex ♥️ "Even 10 years from now if you haven't found somebody, i promise i'll be around" "Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin'" could you maybe write about it?

this is quite literally the most malex thing i have ever heard. every goddamn line of this song is malex related. Thank you so much for the prompt and I’m sorry it took me a million years!

ao3

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me!” 

Alex stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to face him. He looked genuinely hurt and confused and maybe one drink more, Alex would’ve stooped to his level of transparency.

“Are you serious? You don’t know?”

“No,” Michael gushed, tears welling up in his eyes as he raked his fingers through his hair. God, he was wasted. “All I know is you told me you only wanted to be my friend and nothing more. Then you lied to me so I didn’t get to be with my mom. Then you came to me and, and started doing the thing where you’re super sweet so you can fuck me and leave me. And I would’ve let you!” 

Alex clenched his jaw, taking each blow as best he could.

“Isobel helped me see I needed to protect myself. So I went to Maria before I could give into you! The one time I protect myself from you and you’re mad at me! Stop it! I can barely take seeing you, I can’t take this! Stop!” he screamed.

Alex licked his lips, taking a slow and regulated breath as he stared at the broken man in front of him. He was full-on crying at this point, pulling at his hair and Alex was so thankful for his military training. That was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

“Michael,” Alex said softly, taking a step forward. Maybe he was hallucinating, but Michael seemed to stare crying even harder. “Is that really what you feel happened?”

Michael didn’t answer right away, a million emotions washing over his face. Alex took another step forward. This was one of those stupid moments where he had to be the strong one. He hoped he’d be able to cash it all in one day when he inevitably broke.

“What are you mad at me?” Michael asked again, weaker this time. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he knew why. He wanted to hear it. He was scared and he needed to hear it.

Alex rested his palms on Michael’s warm, wet cheeks and the man instantly melted into the touch. He wiped his tears away, lifting his hand just long enough to push his hair back. The stench of alcohol and acetone and weed was suffocating, coming off him in droves. Alex had to wonder if they were letting him get this fucked up or if he was sneaking it. He didn’t know which was worse.

“Come talk to me when you’re sober, okay?” Alex whispered, continuing to wipe away his tears, “I am upset with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m walking away. I’m here when you need me no matter what.” Michael sloppily felt for Alex’s wrists before holding on tight.

“You just were. You just tried to leave me, I saw you,” Michael whimpered. Alex sighed, closing his eyes to try and build up his walls a bit better. It was difficult. Michael had gone from kissing Maria to being putty in Alex’s hands in less than an hour. Sure, everything in his system played a part, but, deep down, he knew that wasn’t the reason. Michael was lost and hurting and Alex could wade in the water for him.

It’d already been a decade‒what was a little more?

“Come see me when you’re sober,” Alex repeated, “We’ll talk about anything and everything.”

“Then you’ll stop being mad at me?” he asked. Alex couldn’t answer. He honestly had no idea when he would stop feeling so horrible. He didn’t know what would erase the image of them kissing from his mind.

“I’ll get you are Lyft to take you home, okay? You’re too drunk to drive,” he whispered. When he tried to pull away, Michael held him tight.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he pleaded. A mournful whine brew in the back of Alex’s throat at the desperation on Michael’s face. He so badly wanted to say yes, to bring him home and wrap him up and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing. But that wasn’t an option, not tonight. Not when Michael had a girlfriend and would regret the choice in the morning.

“Not tonight,” Alex insisted. Michael’s bloodshot eyes scanned over his face, slowly welling up with tears all over again.

“I messed up bad, didn’t I? That’s why you’re mad?” he asked. God, this was torture.

“Michael, just… we’ll talk about it over later. I promise,” Alex said, fishing for his phone to get him a ride home. As much as he wanted to just take him himself, he didn’t actually trust himself not to stay if Michael asked again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I messed up. I’m sorry.” Michael’s words were a slurring, slobbery mess between sobs. Alex quickly pulled him into a tight hug, letting the man divulge into borderline hysterical sobbing. Honestly, Alex wasn’t sure what he thought he messed up. He’d already made it clear he hadn’t understood.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alex said, shushing him like he would a fussy baby.

“No! It’s not! Stop hugging me, stop, like, like, consoling me! I messed up!” Michael made no move to pull away, even as he told Alex to stop, and for a moment it felt like a horrible guilt trip.

“Michael, st‒”

“No, listen,” Michael said, sniffling as he pulled away just enough to rest his forehead on Alex’s, “I-I’m gonna come, like you said. I wanna talk. I want… I’m sorry. Please, let me fix it.” And, god, how nice it would’ve been if Alex could’ve accepted that. But it was impossible to miss the way his eyes refused to focus and the way he had to steady himself while standing still. Michael was so fucked up, he probably wouldn’t even remember this in the morning.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” Alex couldn’t help it. All he was hearing was empty apologies.

“No,” Michael admitted, “But I know I hurt you and that hurts me more than anything. I spent ten years waiting for you to come back to me and letting you hurt me that I… I didn’t realize how bad it feels. I know you felt this bad. I know it. I see it. I feel it. I feel you.”

“Guerin…”

“No! Pinky swear we’ll talk,” Michael urged, holding up a pinky. Alex sighed and tried to avoid it, but Michael insisted. He looped his pinky through the other man’s, watching it bring a weird sort of calm over him. “Now we gotta kiss it to make it official.” Michael kissed his hand and Alex reluctantly mimicked him if only to get him to stop. “Good. Good.”

Michael was petting at his chest, wobbling and sniffling all the way. The severity of his behavior made Alex consider bringing him home anyways and having him sleep on the couch so he could check on him. The only issue with that would be dealing with the possible backlash from it that he really didn’t want. But this was Michael, this was family, and he needed help. Even if Michael was hurting him more than he could even comprehend, he was still going to be there.

No matter what anyone thought, Alex had never been good at leaving him.

“C’mon, you’re gonna sleep on my couch tonight, okay?”

Michael let out the world’s biggest sigh of relief.

-

Alex woke up to an empty house.

His leg was aching due to his stupid decision to sleep in the chair in the living room. He’d considered going to bed, but he couldn’t stop worrying that something would happen to Michael. He had too much shit in his system. While they didn’t know how much it took for an alien to overdose, he wasn’t eager to find out.

Yet, when he woke up the next morning, his couch was empty and so was the kitchen and the bathroom. The only proof that Michael had even stepped foot into the house and spent the night on the couch was the muddy bootprint plastered to the porch and the note on the coffee table that read: ‘thanks’.

As the day went on, Alex wondered if Michael would ever come back to talk. Or, honestly, why he hadn’t stayed to have a talk. Part of him hoped he simply forgot that they had that conversation and it wasn’t that he just didn’t want to. There was so much that he had to say, especially now that it was clear that Michael had misunderstood his intention and was now self-medicating dangerously. Alex wanted to help him if he’d let him.

The day dragged slowly, seeming to slow down even more whenever he bothered to check his phone or check to see if Michael had maybe driven up. Alex wouldn’t lie, it hurt a bit that he hadn’t stayed. Actually, it worried him more than it hurt. Why had he been so scared to stay?

A lot of things were worrying about him.

Once it was dark outside, Alex decided to go back to the Wild Pony. Anxiety bit at his stomach, telling him with certainty that he’d find Michael with Maria and they’d look happy like they had last night. However, Alex could suffer through seeing that when he knew that no one cared enough to address him being messed up beyond recognition. He’d seen them kiss, he knew that Maria had to taste it on his lips and smell it on his breath. If she wasn’t going to take care of him, then he would.

The Pony was bustling and still, Michael was right where Alex knew he’d be, sitting alone at the bar. His head was bowed against the beer bottle and he didn’t react whenever Maria would pass by and pat his head. Alex took a deep breath.

“Hey, Cowboy,” he greeted softly as he took a seat beside Michael. He was wearing the same thing he’d had on last night and smelled of the same substances. Tonight, he hadn’t even bothered hiding the flask of acetone that protruded out of his back pocket.

Michael turned to face him just a little bit, confusion written all over his tired features. Alex offered a small smile and asked the bartender that wasn’t Maria for two glasses of water. Michael never stopped staring.

“Why are you here?” Michael asked.

“I told you, I’m here when you need me,” Alex paused, giving him a once over, “Even when you don’t ask for me.”

Michael’s eyes pooled with tears, but they didn’t fall tonight. Instead, he blinked them away. He nodded.

“Drink this instead,” Alex insisted, pushing the glass of water towards him. Michael eyed it warily.

“You still mad at me?” Michael asked. Alex snorted.

“Yes. But, like I told you, I want to talk to you when you’re sober. So drink this,” Alex pressed. Michael took a deep breath but complied. It didn’t matter that Maria was watching them with jealous eyes or that a few other people in the bar were whispering about them. Michael was trying.

Alex smiled.

-

Alex jolted awake at the sound of his phone ringing.

He’d done his damnedest to always stay on high alert the past few weeks. Michael had been heavily relying on him, using him as a massive crutch to help him try and get sober. It was working for the most part, but there had been a few nights where he’d been left alone and he’d call Alex, drunk and apologetic and asking to be picked up from the Wild Pony. Alex didn’t blame Maria, he knew she was busy with all of her own issues, but it did rub him the wrong way that she wasn’t more forceful with keeping him away from the bar.

But she was his girlfriend, not his caretaker.

“You okay? It’s three in the morning, where are you?” Alex asked instantly, reaching for his prosthetic already.

“I’m fine, I’m at home. Just… need a distraction ‘s all,” Michael said softly on the other end of the line. Alex let go of his leg, taking a moment before he relaxed back in the bed.

“Okay,” Alex said, “How was your day?”

“Good, good. I worked with Liz for a while. Had lunch with Maria. Went to see Max in the pod,” he listed. Alex closed his eyes to the sound of his voice. It was almost embarrassing how stupid he could be for Michael Guerin, a man with a girlfriend.

“Sounds eventful. You guys any closer to figuring it out?” Alex asked. There was rustling on the other side of the phone as Michael most likely tried to get comfortable in his bed.

“Well, we were talking with Valenti and we think that we got him in the pod soon enough that we might be able to revive him with more human methods. Like, with steroids and a defibrillator to jump-start his system enough for him to get to where Iz and I could heal the rest of the way. Liz and I are working on enhancing a steroid to inject him with,” Michael explained, his tone more hopeful than he’d been in weeks. Months. Maybe years, honestly.

“That’s good, I hope it works. If you ever need my help with anything, I’m here. I know I’m not a super fantastic scientist, but I can do my best,” Alex offered. Michael let out a breathy little laugh.

“You’re so smart, Alex, there’s probably a ton of things you can help with. I’m just… I’m just glad you chose to help me. I really appreciate you and everything you do for me, Alex,” Michael said softly. Alex could feel his heart thump in his chest and his stomach tighten.

It was so weird how much he’d found himself loving Michael all over again. He didn’t think he could love the man more, but the closer they got without having sex as a distraction and with so much trust and communication, the more he found himself dizzy with infatuation. Even if Michael didn’t reciprocate it.

“What are friends for.”

-

“So, did you have fun on your date?”

Alex furrowed his brow at Michael’s dry tone and annoyed face even though he literally had his arm around his girlfriend.

“Uh, yeah, it wasn’t really a date,” Alex chuckled, grabbing one of the fries from Michael’s plate and dipping it into Maria’s milkshake. Maria rolled her eyes.

“It looked like a date,” Michael said firmly. Alex licked his lips as he thought back to his Grindr hookup from the night before. They’d met at the Wild Pony and played pool for a bit until they both decided they weren’t too sketchy and went back to Alex’s place where they had some pretty good sex before he left at 2 in the morning.

As much as he loved Michael and he was willing to wait, he wasn’t about to go celibate, especially when Micahel was in a relationship. There was just no point. Well, maybe there was no point in dating apps when he knew nothing would come close to what he felt with Michael. But, fuck, he deserved something while he waited.

“No, that was just one of Alex’s fuck toys, you just usually don’t see them because you’re with Liz,” Maria explained and the crease between Michael’s eyebrows got more prominent, “How was this one?”

“Good,” Alex answered, keeping it short. He knew he didn’t want to hear the details of Michael and Maria’s sex life, so he wasn’t about to put Michael through that torture.

But Maria was feeling extra pushy tonight.

“Oh, come on, tell me more than just that!” she laughed. Alex had been trying his damnedest to rekindle his friendship with Maria even though he still felt more than a little animosity towards her. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t her fault completely, she didn’t know the full story, she didn’t know what Michael was to him. On top of that, it didn’t feel fair to welcome Michael back with open arms and then just reject her friendship completely. No matter how much that little voice in his head told him the opposite.

So, to keep it at a happy medium, he pretty much only talked about his random hookups. It made for safe conversation. They didn’t have to talk about Michael, they didn’t have to discuss his past relationships. He just had to talk about the guy with the six-pack who did situps in the bathroom for twenty minutes before sex and tired himself out too much to even be good in bed. Alex just hadn’t anticipated that she’d be talking about it in front of Michael.

“I mean, there’s not much to tell. He was hot, we hooked up,” Alex said simply, trying not to look Michael’s way. Still, he saw the way his jaw clenched and he looked down, letting his arm fall from Maria’s shoulders.

“That doesn’t sound safe,” Michael said. Alex gave a small smile.

“I’m safe, don’t worry. It’s just something to pass the time, make sure I don’t work myself too hard,” Alex promised honesty. He nodded, but it was clear it bothered him.

Alex would be lying if he said that didn’t give him a little hope.

-

“Are you sure?”

“You need practice, don’t you?”

Alex responded to Michael’s slightly terrified face with the most comforting smile he could manage. He was on his couch, his shirt open, and a giant scratch on display. He’d stupidly been trying to get something out of a tree and misstepped which caused him to slide down the tree a little ways and give him a virtually superficial scratch across his abdomen. It burned a little when he tried to clean it, but that was it.

So he called Michael and asked if he wanted to test his healing abilities.

“But I don’t want to hurt you. What if I kill you instead? Max isn’t here to bring you back. I-I don’t wanna hurt you more,” Michael said, bouncing with nerves. His eyebrows were pulled together adorably in concern. Alex leaned forward with a smile.

“I trust you,” he said firmly, making sure to look Michael in the eyes. And he did trust him, trusted him more than he trusted anyone else in the world. Michael was his family and he meant everything. Especially in the last few months of getting closer and closer and closer.

“Okay,” Michael said after a moment, nodding his head. Alex leaned against his couch and Michael kneeled between his legs. He made sure to keep his breathing regular as Michael’s warm hand laid over his heart. “You ready?”

“Yes.”

And he waited a moment. And nothing happened.

“Okay, wait, I need to talk to you about something before I do this because, from what Liz says, after I put this handprint on you, you’re gonna like… feel what I feel, and I don’t want to have this conversation with you being influenced by my feelings,” Michael said, pulling back sitting on the coffee table. Alex sat up a little straighter. “You told me a couple of months ago to come to talk to you when I was sober. Well… I’m sober.”

Alex licked his lips and silently cursed Michael for not giving him a head’s up that he wanted to have this conversation today. He would’ve planned it out better.

“Uh, well, what do you wanna talk about? I mean… I know that you misunderstood everything that happened before you went and kissed Maria, but I don’t feel like I’m completely innocent in that. I know I’m not good with my words and I also know that you’ve been so fucked over so many times that you’re going to take everything as a rejection even if it isn’t. But I think the main this is that when I came to you in your airstream after Caufield… I wasn’t trying to fuck you and leave or giving mixed signals or acting out of pity. Seeing what my family was capable of and seeing what could’ve happened to you really put things in perspective. I didn’t want to waste time, I wanted to be with you. When I came to you, that was the real deal. I wanted a relationship for real and I was willing to put you above my fears because I realized being without you was scarier than anything my father could do to me. I just had shit timing, like always,” Alex admitted, his chest heavy and his face on fire. He was too terrified to look up at Michael’s face.

“But… But you said that you wanted to just be friends, that I was too much of a criminal for‒”

“Hey, no, I didn’t say that. Fuck anything that says I can’t be with you because we’re too different,” Alex said and he hoped Michael understood he meant more than just the Criminal/Airman situation, “And I never meant just friends. I wanted to get to know you, to start over without all the pain and have something based on trust and not just fear and lust. You know, kinda like we’ve done now.”

When Alex got the courage to look up at Michael, he found him staring at the floor in confusion. Alex considered reaching out to him but decided against it.

“But, at Caulfield, you…”

“I meant everything I said at Caulfield. Just a shit time to tell you I love you,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him with a face not too unlike that night months prior when he was desperate for Alex to stop being so mad at him. “Look, I am sorry. I know it didn’t help that I kept walking away and I should’ve made sure you understood what I meant. That’s my fault and I’m sorry for being so angry at you for making a decision to protect yourself from me. I know I didn’t give you enough reasons to feel like I was all in.”

Things were silent for a moment and Alex wondered if maybe he’d said too much. At the end of the day, Michael was still with Maria. Just because Michael was it for Alex didn’t mean that was reciprocated. Love confessions were a little heavy.

“I’m sorry too,” Michael said, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward on his knees. Alex gave him a small smile.

“Do you know what you’re apologizing for this time?” Alex said playfully, hoping to lighten the mood just a little bit. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, licking his lips as he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for hurting you. Whenever I did that, I had just had so much shit happen and I just… I wanted something that didn’t hurt. And I’m sorry for having issues with you hooking up with people too, I know that it’s not my business.”

“It’s okay. I understand,” Alex said, offering a smile. But Michael took another heavy breath and looked him in the eye.

“But mostly I’m sorry I took advantage of you.”

Michael’s shoulders relaxed as if relieved to get that off his chest. However, something sat heavy in Alex’s stomach at the unexpected words.

“What do you mean?” Alex asked softly. Michael chewed on his bottom lip, casting his eyes down as he messed with his fingers.

“I mean… I’ve known you for, what, seventeen, eighteen years? I know you, Alex, I know you struggle with your words and conveying your emotions‒which isn’t your fault. Your dad didn’t allow you to and that’s fucked. Point is, I knew it. I knew it and I still used it against you, used it as an excuse to hurt you. Then, afterward, I basically guilted you into helping me. I made you put your own feelings to the side to take care of me and… fuck, I’m sorry, Alex. I promise, I’m gonna be better about taking care of you and your feelings. I promise,” Michael explained. Alex managed a little smile as his heart thudded harder in his chest.

He never blamed Michael for everything that happened, but damn was that good to hear. He wasn’t even completely sure why it felt so good. Maybe it was just nice to hear he wasn’t wrong in being hurt by the events.

“Thank you,” Alex replied sincerely. Michael gave him a sweet smile, nodding and gave Alex encouragement to say his own piece. “And, Michael, I just want you to know… I’m here.”

Michael smiled. “I know.”

“No, I mean… I’m here for you,” Alex said and Michael’s smiled started to drop, “I kept you waiting for a decade, so… It’s my turn to wait. And I’ll wait as long as I need to. I love you and I want to be with you and I’m willing to wait.” Michael gulped.

“Alex.”

“And I’m not trying to make you feel bad or force you to choose or anything. If Maria makes you happy, then I’m not going to stand in the way. You can take all the time you need, I’m not trying to push. I just know that you’re it for me and I also know this shit began with me never making that clear. So, just, whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting. Always, no matter what, no matter who you might see me with,” he explained. Michael tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, staring with worried eyes. But Alex wasn’t worried. He didn’t expect anything in return. He just needed him to know.

“No pressure?” Michael asked. Alex grinned and help up his hand, sticking out his pinky.

“None at all. I promise.” Michael managed a smile, looping his pinky with Alex’s and they each kissed their own fists.

“Then let’s get you healed.”

Michael moved closer, kneeling between Alex’s legs once again. He locked eyes for a moment, silently asking for permission which he received immediately in the form of an encouraging nod. Michael gently placed his hand over Alex’s heart again.

His palm started warming up slowly and, along with it, waves of comfort began coursing through Alex’s body. He let his eyes close as it did and, the more he let himself fall into the feeling, the stronger it got. It was Michael that he was feeling, Michael’s overwhelming affection and undiluted, unconditional love. It got stronger and stronger until that’s all Alex could feel or think just love

love

love

love

love

It was overwhelming and it was becoming harder and harder for Alex to keep his composure. It was deep, embedded in his bones. Especially when the feeling grew, blossoming into pure pleasure. His mind and body slowly unraveled, succumbing to whatever Michael was filling him with until he couldn’t think anymore.

And then Michael pressed harder and a determined scream filled the air.

Alex lost all sense of self-control at that point. His back arched into Michael’s touch, his jaw dropping open in a pathetic, deep moan. It was something akin to the world’s most satisfying orgasm. Which had to be when Michael snatched his hand away.

Alex felt dizzy at the sharp loss of contact, most of the pleasure in his system disappearing with it. He could still feel it deep in him and he could feel Michael in his mind in a way he struggled to understand. It was warm and comforting and loving and, had Michael wanted this to lead to sex, Alex would’ve had his jeans on the floor before he could finish his sentence.

But Michael didn’t want it to lead to sex, in fact, he couldn’t seem to breathe as he fell back against the coffee table. Alex did his best to clear his mind, to push away how turned on he was so he could focus on Michael.

“I’m sorry,” he said instantly because what else do you say when you get off on your ex-boyfriend platonically touching you. Michael still couldn’t catch his breath. Alex searched his mind for what he’d been told about healing. “Are you gonna throw up? Do you need me to get a bucket?”

Michael’s heavy breathing started to pick up and he was staring at Alex with wide eyes that almost seemed offended. That was a quick way to shove away all of the good vibes he’d just gotten and it became more apparent that Michael’s presence in his mind seemed to be just as panicked.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here, I’ve got you. Look, it worked,” Alex said softly, moving closer to the man on the floor. Alex hesitantly went to run a hand through Michael’s hair. His eyes closed to the feeling, so Alex kept it there, massaging his scalp and letting it soothe him just a little bit. It was clear he was just as overwhelmed as Alex had felt, just in a different way. “Talk to me.”

Michael froze for a moment before scrambling to his feet.

“I have to go. I’ll be back.”

And then he was gone, Alex’s door left wide open in his wake.

-

Alex didn’t hear from Michael for the rest of the night, but he didn’t let himself worry too much. If there was anything that came out of having Michael’s handprint on his skin was that he was more sure than ever that they were meant to be. Even if Michael was with Maria right now, Alex could feel the love Michael had for him and it was enough to have him strut into the Project Shepard bunker with a helpless grin on his face.

“Well, now everything makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

Kyle was waiting for him in the bunker already, sitting in one of the chairs and raising an eyebrow high. Alex couldn’t even let his smile fall at that.

“Guerin broke up with Maria last night,” Kyle said. Alex’s heart started to beat a little harder.

“Really?”

“Jeez, Alex, you could at least try to not look so happy about it,” he chuckled. Alex shrugged and went to take his own seat. He wanted to feel bad for Maria since he knew she was probably upset, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Michael was going to be his and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time.

Things were falling into place.

“So, what happened?” Kyle asked. Alex pulled his partially open shirt to the side, flashing him the handprint. Kyle’s eyes went wide.

“It was just a scratch, but he wanted to practice. And we had a good talk about us and when he healed me, we sort of just… felt each other. He sort of freaked out and left, but he said he’d be back so I guess I should’ve assumed he was going to Maria,” Alex said, shrugging. A stupid smile found his face again once he realized that Michael had taken those feelings so seriously.

“You’re not worried that he freaked out?” Kyle asked. Alex shrugged again. He didn’t really know how to explain it. He could still feel Michael and, even though it was a lot, it was overall positive. He seemed to be feeling good, if not just a little confused about the events. He understood that he just needed a moment.

“No. I… I can feel him. He’s okay,” Alex offered. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Great. More psychic alien bullshit.”

-

Michael was pacing the front porch of the cabin whenever Alex got home that night.

Alex made sure to school the smile on his face before he approached him. He didn’t want to overwhelm him anymore or show that he was too excited about what might happen. Michael might not even want to jump into a relationship even if he did just get perfect evidence for just how much Alex loved him. He couldn’t get his hopes up too high.

“Hey,” Alex called to him. Michael stood taller and spun to face him, eyes wide and nerves rippling off his body.

“Hi,” he said, “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Alex agreed, opening the door and leaving it open for Michael to follow. They didn’t even reach the couch before Michael started talking.

“Yesterday, you… That was a lot,” Michael breathed. Alex smiled and nodded his head, sitting on the couch. Michael sat on the coffee table in front of him just like the day before. “You actually love me.” Alex sputtered a laugh.

“I told you beforehand that I love you.”

“I didn’t realize how serious you were!”

Alex shook his head at Michael and the two of them smiled. Michael’s knee was bouncing and he was moving in between smiling and biting on his lip. Alex fought the urge to bite it himself.

“I broke up with Maria.”

“I heard.”

“I love you too.”

“I know, I can feel it.”

They again fell silent, smiling wider than before. Alex was feeling even more hopeful than before. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on Michael, to call him his boyfriend and to love him as he deserved. And he couldn’t wait to be loved as he deserved.

“I care about your feelings, Alex. Whenever you want to have an epic emotional breakdown like I have, like, weekly, I’ll be there. I’m gonna be here to pick up the pieces just like you do for me. Because you’re my family,” Michael said and Alex wondered if he’d created a list of things to clarify before they finally got back together.

“Can’t wait,” Alex laughed, “You’re my family too.” Michael took a deep breath.

“And we’re gonna be for real this time. All trust and communication, right?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Are you ready?” Michael asked, “Because I’m ready. I can’t keep you waiting for a decade, I need you too much.”

If the world exploded and ended at that moment, Alex wouldn’t have noticed. He wouldn’t have cared. Nothing else mattered except for Michael and Alex and love.

“I’m ready.”

Michael surged forward without much of a warning, pressing Alex into the couch with a desperate kiss. Alex’s body lit on fire as he pulled him closer, melting into everything that was Michael Guerin. It wasn’t that much different than the night before, that absolute feeling of euphoria and love and affection and love and happiness and love and love and love.

It was the beginning of forever.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico fic #michael guerin fic #alex manes fic #requests #alexs pov #6k word #other tags probably that i can't think of