#I don't live today

[jt1674]

#jimi hendrix #i don't live today #are you experienced? #jimi hendrix experience

[the-flying-tora]

Mood.

#Hendrix #i don't live today #are you experienced #Spotify

[tfc2211]

Plastic Laughter

#Plastic Laughter #I Don't Live Today #1968

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[hychlorions]

What if I told you that I've fallen?

[ID: Art of Susato Mikotoba and Haori Murasame/Rei Membami, done on a stylized background of swirling cherry blossom petals. Haori is falling backward, pulling Susato with her, so close that their noses are touching. Haori closes her eyes as she pulls off Susato’s cap, while Susato — still dressed as Ryutaro Naruhodo — looks down at her with eyes wide. The background is suffused with the faint colors of the lesbian flag. End ID]

#susahao #susarei #susato mikotoba #haori murasame #rei membami #dgs #tgaa #dgs2 spoilers #<- i guess ! #.png #me: ok we've done our fill of comms for today let's do something quick and easy (doesn't do that) #this is a nightmare to tag actually. why does she have two names #also here's to hoping external links don't get hidden on here anymore i've been living with that fear since 2019 #do i think that song fits them. i'm not sure. it's just stuck in my head and i don't wanna use kiss kiss fall in love

[girlboyburger]

today i realized i could draw anything i want, so.

i drew myself a girlfriend

#cow is poly like me so i can draw infinite partners for it and i don't know why i havent capitlized on that yet #also not technically today i posted this like two days ago to my alt twtt but its sfw so i can post it here too #my art #sketch #oc: cow #furry #anthro #fursona #furry fandom #clean furry #oc #the original idea was a butch bull w a weird gender but then i realized i was attracted to her so. mine now #living out that one post thats like #a gay dude and a lesbian who are BEST friends and also dating the same person but not #each other because they are a gay dude and a lesbian but their mutual partner has a weird enough gender for it to work #its me i'm the mutual partner with a weird enough gender #aweaaeeaA #no name for the bull yet btw but i might just call her bull to match w cow lol

[andy-clutterbuck]

requested by Anonymous

#F U Z Z I E S ✨ #Rick Grimes #* #rg #The Ones Who Live #H A N D S #i know you're suffering my guy #but #sleepy men are just really attractive #i don't make the rules #one day your lips will not make me want to bust through a wall like the koolaid man #but today is not that day #also his arm hair but i'm not gonna be that weird right now #i'll be the big spoon #G R A Y S #ALL THE GRAYS #v e i n s #bless all the lines on your face #they're beautiful and sacred

[canisalbus]

Machete strikes me as the type of sighthound who will need a /lot/ of sweaters to endure the winter. Think about his piercing prey animal gaze communicating that he's very colde. Turtlenecks needed at /least/.

#yes #answered #blatantlyclique #luckily the places they live in are relatively warm year-around #I don't think he'd like the Finnish winter very much #it was -22°C today

[royalarchivist]

After completing the Nether minigame, a short video plays showing some of the last things the Eggs did before they disappeared.

[Muted the irrelevant cross-talk because it was loud and distracting.]

#QSMP #Tubbo #Blue Team #The Eggs #QSMP Eggs #Purgatory #Soul Fire #Muted irrelevant cross-talk because it was distracting #I was going to wait for QSMP to post a clean video they played of the Eggs #But I know not everyone is watching stream today #Likewise I will probably not be posting any other clips from today #I don't watch streams on the weekend #also there's only two people online for this event so #* two people who are LIVE and online #Wish this had been done on Monday instead I feel bad for Etoiles and all the other streamers #I'm sure the admins have their reasons but. Two streamers #I hope green team doesn't log in at all because that would be genuinely so funny LMAO #Blue Team twiddling their thumbs like ''erm. so what now'' #realistically they could still win even if green didn't log in but that'd be BM imo #Though I don't think anyone is genuinely going to die #likewise I don't think any Eggs are going to die #it'll all be ok it's just a game

[copias-juicebox]

Tobias about his Brother Sebastian who passed away shortly after Ghost released their first Songs and took off on Myspace. 🤍🤍🤍

#i did not mean to make you cry ok i cried myself #the raw fucking emotion in his eyes and voice really gets to me #rip sebastian #thank you for everything and for being the role model for tobias that he needed #</3 #the whole fandom will forever be thankful #thank you for influencing tobias to be the man he is today #ok i feel kinda bad for this post because it feel so wrong because it is so personal and intimate i hope you don't mind #i feel his painand i think it is a pain that we will never not carry around with us for the rest of our lives #tobias forge #ghost #copia #papa emeritus #ghost band #ghost sweden #ghesties #the band ghost #myedit

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!! #but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other? #i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened' #i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?' #i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal???? #am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it?? #i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

[unpretty]

#original #the mood of the fucking day #BITE BITE BITE BITE #i have work tomorrow i haven't been able to fall asleep before 2 am i have PAYROLL #AND SHE WAITED UNTIL TODAY TO SEND ME EMS PAYROLL AND HALF OF IT'S FUCKED #YOU COULD HAVE SENT ME A PRELIM FILE ON SATURDAY AND JUST SENT ME ANY CORRECTIONS FROM THE WEEKEND TODAYYYY #SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU I WAS DOING WFH SO THIS WOULDN'T HAPPENNNNN #and i don't know if it's the spiro's fault but i'm having a period again HOW DID I EVER LIVE LIKE THIS. HOW DID I FUNCTION.

[likegoldintheair]

i'm like if someone who hated being touched was also deeply touchstarved

#i can count on one hand the people who i don't hate being touched by #shaking hands is fine i did that a lot today #but like. hugging? no thanks #but i also want to Be Held #you know. like just. held in gentle caring hands. #by someone i have approved of beforehand etc etc #anyways yearning for touch but detesting it at the same time i'm truly living life

[shitty-check-please-aus]

PSA for all drivers in the city of Chicago! There are red octagonal signs at a lot of intersections with the word STOP on them- when you see these signs, that means you should try and use this fun pedal next to the gas called the "brakes" and not attempt vehicular manslaughter with every pedestrian you see! There are also large lights at some intersection- when the top light, the red one, is lit, that means the same thing.

once we master this skill, we can talk about a cool trick for signaling to people (including pedestrians trying to cross the street) that you're going to turn. This tool might be a little tougher to find if you've got a BMW, Audi, or Lexus, but we can find a way to work one-on-one to make sure you can use it. However, it's also important that we learn how to not use it when we're not turning.

#almost got run over like twice today and I'm a bit ticked off! #if you signal that you are going to turn #and you start to turn #you should not SLAM the wheel the other way and FLOOR IT straight through the intersection that I'm starting to walk through #and if you are turning #even if you are turning right! #you should slow your car down to some extent at least #and not try to run over pedestrians who have a walk light #anyways Chicago and Pittsburgh unite bc I don't know how people who live in places where you don't say 'jagoff' deal with bad drivers #like it's just the most satisfying word when faced with certain flavors of bad driving

[maxsix]

Universal truths: San never betrays and Seonghwa always got your back

#sanhwa #the caring unit #seonghwa #san #choi san #ateez #park seonghwa #maxsixgif #this is just precious #and for whoever needs it today #may you all have a san and seonghwa in your lives #and if you don't #i hope they are on their way into your life soon

[numbuh424]

the stress I'm feeling from the sans vs reigen tumblr sexyman showdown is closest I'll ever get to caring about sports

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #mp100 reigen #sans #sans undertale #undertale #I don't think any outcome can be funnier than what is happening right now hours away from the results #I woke up early today just to see the madness go down live #this whole debacle has fixed my messed up sleeping schedule #elle is talking again