#I don't know this is a long pointless rant probably because I'm tired

[cookinguptales]

Girl you have already made three mistakes in your rants I've seen in the tags; you should rest, watch again with a cold head and then talk because it's getting embarrassing how much you got wrong. If after all you still think the same, go back to fanficland.

Honestly, I probably will have a lot more thoughts once I've rested and watched again, but the profound disappointment I feel now won't go away. Like "girl", I'm not just some child that will agree with you after I've gone down for a nap. (And like... what's the weird slight against fanfic at the end there...?)

This finale feels like an extreme ass-pull. This idea that "oh, just the time since death will pass and that's why they'll die" doesn't mesh with what they said in s3 about all vampires (including baby vampires) dying if The Sire dies. Laszlo searching for a "cure" the entire season when apparently it's known knowledge that they could've just killed Derek doesn't make sense. Seeing Nandor swapping from "we will accept him as equals" to "clean up this corpse" is bullshit, and it's not a good thing and shows a regression of character growth. The fact that everyone's storylines all pretty much went back to where they were before Guillermo was bitten is absolutely infuriating.

I could accept a couple understandable changes in canon, like the zombies being capable of attaining sentience (despite the older ones not showing signs of it when Topher joined the sweatshop) but come on, this is ridiculous.

God, I'm tired of this show introducing interesting ideas and then explaining them all away. It makes it hard to get invested in any of the storylines when you know they're gonna just hand wave everything. The djinn wishes, the club, Baby Colin, the year-long break between s3 and s4, Guillermo being bitten, the vampiric tests on Guillermo, Nadja's Little Antipaxos thing, none of it ever matters. They just make some joke to lampshade things like "hey, we remember that it happened!" and then never deal with it. I always think they're going somewhere with things and they don't.

I feel like the entire season I watched was pointless and I'm frustrated. I feel like I've been giving the writers the benefit of the doubt for a couple years now, and honestly, I'm tired of it.

I was actually hoping that Guillermo would have to make hard choices between vampirism and humanity. I didn't want him to become a vampire. But for him to just be like "PHEW glad I'm back on dead body duty" is so fucking frustrating.

#replies #wwdits tag #wwdits spoilers

[project-walrider]

I apologize in advance for this (maybe pointless) rant and any spelling mistakes, I'm super tired but had to get this off my chest.

I'm trying my best to enjoy the Outlast fandom but lately I've started to feel kinda bitter about it. I'm very discouraged from continuing to upload anything despite enjoying sharing my ideas with everyone a lot. I know it wouldn't really matter because I'm just a very small artist here so it won't make a big difference. I would be sad at least since I've been in the fandom since the very beginning and have seen it grow over all this time.

Being able to interact with other fans, exchange ideas and create things together is something I absolutely love and I've made some amazing friends over our shared love for Outlast, too.

I've been in many different fandoms over the years and have seen them falling apart and the most ridiculous reasons for unnecessary drama. Fandom means a lot of different people share one space and naturally opinions, headcanons and ideas will be the absolute opposite from each other at times.

That goes for how people imagine the especially mostly faceless protagonists of this franchise, too. I personally don't think there's a right or wrong way to portray them as long as it doesn't hurt anybody and I welcome every single interpretation. It's a good thing so many interesting and diverse ideas come together.

For me personally the way the protags have developed with every new piece of art I drew of them over the years has been an incredible fun journey so far. They started out with just vague concepts in my head back then and over all this time more personal ideas, headcanons, impressions and also inspiration from many other fellow artists turned them into who they are right now.

Waylon started out with blue eyes, a completely different face, a short dark brown buzz cut and no freckles at all, I also adapted the headcanon about his Korean origin because it made a lot of sense to me. He has come such a long way and I want to keep going because a lot of neurodivergent folks here probably understand what a comfort character can mean to someone.

Miles has followed me through the time of realizing I am trans to the point where I chose him even as the name I want to live for the rest of my life with.

I got attached to Waylon as well and for some reason I started to deeply project on him as a character. That includes picturing him as transmasc, seeing in him a lot of the anxiety I've struggled with my whole life so far and feeling a certain detachment from my own roots (I'm adopted, I don't know anything about my original background).

I know no one can take that away from me and it's impossible for everyone in a fandom to get along or agree with each other. What I wish for is just some mutual respect for each other and the vast variety of creativity here.

Let each other enjoy Outlast and if there's something you don't agree with, just move on and look at content that makes you happy. Being kind and a decent person costs you nothing, it's not that hard. Curate this space into a fun one for you, create your own little bubble of people you're comfortable with but let those you don't agree with live too and have a good time.

That's what I will try at least from now on. If you made it through this whole rant thank you for taking the time and listening ♡

#miles // vent

[a-very-bored-blogger]

TW: Long rant and very tiring me ranting. Heavy topics, you have been warned.

I hate being Asian so much. You can't get diagnosed for a mental illness because people still don't know that shit exists here, you can't go to a gynaecologist because people will think you're a slut who contracted an STD or got pregnant.

You have to adhere to beauty standards, and yet your mother still forces you to eat food she provides despite fat shaming you. Her excuse? You don't exercise enough. I tried okay, it's tiring, it's boring, I hate it. So you try to limit your food intake, go on a calorie deficit, but guess what that fucking doesn't work because your parents keep taking you out and they scold you for not eating. Excuse me I'm not a fitness jerk like you guys.

You say you wanna move to a Western country because you love it there ! And also because they actually accept mental health and health checkups to be perfectly normal. Then they go on a rant on how life there is shite because their economy is shit and see it through a financial lens.

Not to mention the added constant pressure from school! The amount of workload, the amount of pressure you get from ....Ah typical Asian values. You have endless amounts of school work. Tests for two days, studying for two weeks, then rigorous exams for 2 months with 2-3 papers ti do in one day. Your friends can't relate to you because they just judge you for everything. Your school friends? Well they think you're weird. You can't concentrate in school, you probably have an undiagnosed mental illness. You can't seem to cry or get out your emotions because you have too many problems so you don't even know how to begin crying.

Everything just seems pointless and tiring and then you contionuously try to tell yourself "hey your life is so much better than others! You come from a rich family" to which you proceed to beat yourself up for being such a wimp when others are suffering.

And yes, I'm 18. I just cannot get a job in my stupid country to earn income because of course - most jobs require at least a highschool diploma. Which I haven't graduated from yet. Which is ironic since I feel like my courses are almost university level.

Thoughts? I honestly just want to dig myself into a hole and cry forever.

[medicinemane]

There's such an obsession, at least in the US, with memorizing things almost just for the sake of memorizing things and it's honestly such a waste of everyone's time, especially the person being forced to memorize needless junk

The thing is, the stuff you need to know you'll start remembering more because you use it, and the rest it's fine to look up

Examples, I used to be terrible at spelling in part because I'm dyslexic. For some reason in the US people really care about how well people are about to spell, not as in "hey... don't know what this word is supposed to be, it would help if you could spell better", just like this... almost offence at the concept of someone being bad at spelling. At least, that's how it felt to me growing up terrible at spelling

Want to know what fixed it? Talking online with people, even more so once I had a spellchecker and stuff. Having to write words more often got me used to the spelling of those words because I was using them a lot, and the spellchecker let me see how to spell the stuff I was getting wrong

Same for me and typing. Used to do a pretty fast chicken peck, but when I started talking with people a lot through text I just kind of found one day that I could type pretty fast without looking. Didn't train it or anything, don't know if I do it the proper way, though I know it's pretty close

When I was taking chemistry, I knew the atomic weights of the elements that came up a lot, looked up the rest. Pharmacy, you get a good grasp on the meds that come up a lot

I'm not saying studying or trying to memorize things is bad, I just think we focus on the wrong stuff a lot of the time. It's better for someone to know how to look up how to get the right answer than to just have one specific answer memorized. If someone can quickly identify which formula they need for a math problem and know how to apply it, there's no problem with just looking up a formula they rarely use whenever they need a refresher

Method is just so much more important than minutiae, and no matter what it is the stuff that you use all the time you don't forget

#if you're wishing death on people you might just take a peek and make sure your moral compass #is where you want it. You don't even have to change it just check on it real quick #so you like nazis and pedophiles? #oh so you don't think people should learn things? you think knowledge is bad? #I really wish I knew how to say things without making it a huge wall of text #I might just say that last sentence but... you know tumblr makes me need to over explain and qualify every idea so much worse #still remember the time I made a post saying #and I had a couple people hop on that post and be like #and it's just like... ok #that post was about something specific I saw actually but like... I'm not giving a whole backstory for it just to justify it #anyway though if people can twist your words on something like that #what's to stop them from looking at the short version of this and being like #or something equally insane #and in many ways it's not that I really care #it's just I try to stay away from online drama and I don't need it finding me over nothing #I don't know this is a long pointless rant probably because I'm tired #but like I said... that kind of stuff is why I over explain even more these days than I always have #I'm generally very choosy with my wording which isn't a bad thing usually #it means I take time to think about how someone could take my words and I think lets me rework it so as to be as supportive as possible #one on one I think it's mostly a good think though I hate how much more I talk than other people #it makes me feel so annoying #and like I'm talking over them #anyway... thankfully despite having more followers than makes sense no one really bothers me #I can't know all the people who follow me but generally everyone seems cool #anyway... really want to go to bed here so hopefully I can break free and do that

[just-some-moss-and-bones]

tw: rant, sleep disorder, mention of self harm, swearing, all caps.

you know when you randomly wake up at 3 am because of some random sleep disorder you probably have. and you just know your not going to get any more sleep after that .

like wtf am I supposed to do. just not be asleep until 5 but then , uh oh it's now too late to sleep might as well get up.

it's not even like this is a normal thing for me. it used to be the other way around, like I wouldn't sleep until 5 in the morning then sleep past midday.

but for the last 2 nights I got to sleep fine at about 10:30 /11:00 (that's really early for me)

like at least if I was still not sleeping at the right time it was at least for long enough but now I don't even know what to do

add my probable ADHD the mix and I can't even 'just rest' like my mum tells me to do cause I have to do something otherwise it's just painfully boring. and that usually means I'm on my phone seeing as my stupid fucking brain can't think of anything else to fucking do!.

like logically I know what I have to do like not on my phone and make sure I have a nice comfortable bed or space to be. if I need to do something get up and do it not in my bed. but brains not working properly so that doesn't happen.

having my mum in my room used to help but now it doesn't cause I get anxiety over the fact that I'm keeping her awake and then I just end up crying for hours👍.

I can't take sleep pills or something like that because I'm scared that it will somehow affect my brain to make it even worse than it already is (stupid ik but that's my brain for you).

I can't get up and sleep in a different place that, doesn't make a difference (I've tried many times)

I usually just resort to watching YouTube or violently crying so I don't end up throwing things or hurting myself.

plus the fact that it's genuinely affecting my normal life so much. I haven't been in a full day of school for literally weeks. I've missed all my mock exams and I'll probably miss all the catch-up ones as well. literally the only time I'm going in is for drama lessons because if I'm not in I'm effecting 3 other people in the group.

I think school is part of the reason I can't sleep because it just causes me so much dread to even think about being in school even though when I do go In it's not even that bad.

I get anxious in the evening about school the next day and about trying to get to sleep and failing for hours, then when I'm trying to sleep I work myself up with worry about school and how that will effect my wider life after I leave school. then I cry for a few hours, watch YouTube and maybe occasionally sleep.

at least that was the routine. bur now it's completely switched itself around and I'm sleeping from 10pm till 3am and then I just end up sleeping through the day .(I slept from 9am till 3pm today👍)

I'm failing every subject but art and history (and mayby drama) but the schools not going to know that because I'm not in for any of the fucking tests.

I don't even know what I can do to even try to start making a difference

I'm full of anger at the world. full of rage at myself for not being able to just be a normal functioning human being. I feel like I need to just shout or punch something but I don't want to hurt myself so o don't know what to do. if it's not either of those im just full of unmoving cripleing despair. is this what depression is like idek it just feel so hopeless and doing anything just feels pointless

it feels like a east of time to go to sleep just to have to wake up the next day and then go to sleep again at night .

my brain just tells me to do one or the other and then I end up doing both in a really fucked up time scale.

at least when I had that routine I knew what was happening and I could prepare (that's probably the autism).

and now it's gone half 4 in the morning and I'm still not even FUCKING TIRED just exhausted.

there's probably more I could write but I can't be bothered rn. I might talk to my counselor about this and I'll update if I get anything helpful but in the meantime bye.

(sorry this wasn't supposed to be that long. if you have read all the way to here have you got any advice? (don't worry if not))

I genuinely don't know what to do.

can anyone help? please?

#mental health #sleep disorders #adhd #autism #long post #rant #advice? #mentally ill #neurodivergent #depression #anxiety

[hanjo-love]

Now I became selfish and I hope the shard is showing Hanji being saved by Kiyomi or something. She go the worst treatment and if Isayama was afraid of the backslash like you said why make it even worse with those parallels with eremika? Is he preparing the Fandom for another levihan moment? I'm tired of EVERYONE surviving but her, Kiyomi's kindness really??? And Onyankopon, while I don't hate him, he survived a plane crash and he doesn't add much yet he is there for being the editor's favorite, Yelena is there after all she did and she adds even less, and the people titanized will revert to human (or at the very least Isayama's favorites will).

Oh anonie, you and me both my friend, you and me both 😔 Beware, a long rant-ish meta is ahead of you lol

I have absolutely no fucking idea why Yams decided to treat Hanjo like shit. You know, after a long time of denying her death, I was starting to accept it, because she was finally free, free of the burden and pain and finally reunited with the people she missed and longed for the most. But then Yams decided to slap us all in the faces saying there's no happy & peaceful afterlife in snk and Hanjo was probs only hallucinating because of her 4 years long depression? Well then, fuck you Yams! What was that even for? Isayama never backed off of showing us the horrors of death in snk, no matter how important the characters and how brutal their deaths really were. Still, he never showed us Hanji's actual death or dead body. He kept it misterious and his vague answers only made it worse. So it's only natural for us to expect a plot twist, right? That's the reason all of us gathered various hints in the manga, anime and his interviews. And lemme tell you, these theories are far more logical, better explained and have less plot holes than the entire final arc smh (yes I'm salty, fight me lol)

I hate to admit it, my inner self is still in denial and fighting, but Hanjo ain't coming back folks. We won't get any background story and the misterious shard will never be explained to us either. Yams had more than enough time to bring Hanjo back, if he truly wanted to. But he didn't. And now with only one chapter and so many unanswered questions left, there's no time for Hange's return. Why would he even do that anyways? Hanjo isn't important to him or to the story anymore. To us she is, always was and always will be ❤️ You know, I'm so fucking desperate to see her again, I'll even take one last panel of Levi remembering her, just like in ch136. Yams just let us see Hanjo one more fucking time 🙏🏻 I need to say my proper goodbyes to my one&only comfort character, who's influenced my life like no one else ever did ❤️

Back to Levihan (I don't think I can answer an ask without my biased and trashy shipper ass butting in lmfao): the question why Yams confirmed Levihan as canon if he didn't intend to bring Hange back and reunite her with Levi to make us him happy again? Well, isn't it obvious? This man is the devil incarnate. THIS MAN HAS NO FUCKING CHILLS lmfao JK y'all before someone declares war on me and my blog haha Well anonie, I feel like Yams really wanted to confirm his initially planned ships as canon, before the manga ends. And he chose the safest way possible. Easy as that. Also he said he is going for a bittersweet ending and what's more tragic (in this literal hell) than separating lovers, ergo Eremika and Levihan.

Now to something else, that's been bothering me for a while now and I'll use your ask anonie to share my thoughts with the world even though nobody asked lmao tbh I'm a bit disappointed with Armin. I love him, I really do. He's my precious cinnamon roll and my fave 104th kiddo. But honestly, I was expecting a bit more of the alleged "hero who will safe humanity". In fact, I'm sure Hanjo only died for Armin to become the new commander. That's it. That was the reason she had to die. Yams glossed over her to make Armin shine. But in fact, Levi's the one who's giving orders ever since Hange has left them. I might me salty, but I really hope the talk with Zeke (and probs Ymir as well, we still might have a chance to see the dialog that made Ymir change her mind) and his titan nuke weren't the only things he did as "humanity's hero" in this final arc. For some people this might me enough, for me it isn't. It wasn't worth Hange's sacrifice. Also what made me really sad was Armin himself glossing over Hanjo when he remembered Erwin Danchou, but not her. Like she didn't just pass away an hour ago to save their pathetic asses. Ugh this is making me hella mad, ngl. Hanjo didn't deserve this treatment! She gave her all for this! To save the alliance, to "pay the price" for her "sins" as the SC commander and to save humanity. I can't deal with how all of them and the fandom apparently forgot about that.

Now on to "Kiyomi's kindness" lol I wasn't really mad at Gabi for saying this as most of the fandom was. I won't go into detail why she isn't really a rationally thinking character (yo guys, you do remember she's a 12 year old kid, right?), but it's a fact that she didn't care for Hange enough to mention her. I mean, why would she? She barely even knew her. Also we don't really know what's gonna happen with Yelena, Kiyomi and her delegation. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like Kiyomi accepted her death with saying "that's not enough atonement for what I did anyway". I mean they don't know if the alliance will win (they probably think they won't) and they're in the middle of literally nowhere. So I feel like Gabi said that because Kiyomi sacrificed herself (and the others on that ship) willingly, for Gabi, Falco and Annie getting a little chance of surviving and helping the alliance. But I get the rage of the fandom. Especially because no one, except for Levi, remembered Hange after her noble sacrifice.

As for Yelena and Onyankopon, there obviously has to be someone from outside of Paradis to survive the rumbling, otherwise it wouldn't make a lot of sense, I guess. I like Onyankopon a hecking lot ❤️ precious boi was literally crying for Hanjo 😭 Yelena on the other hand deserves what she got. Death would be too easy and kind for her tbh. She has to live with the consequences, just like Kiyomi, so I'm actually glad they survived. So my guess is, it's not really about who's Yams' favorite and what these people are contributing to the story, but it's rather about a logical ending and a good conclusion of the story.

I agree with you about the ones who have been titanized. They'll for sure revert back to humans. It's not really Yams' style to kill of an important character like Gabi, whose character development he's been forcing on us for quite a while now lol. I'm pretty positive about an ending with the titan curse being broken and bringing the titanized people back to human beings (probs also the millions of colossal titans?). It's only natural for Yams to end the story with the titan curse being lifted. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to end his story at this point. But let's not forget what a big ass troll Yams is lmao you never really know what he's up to, so let's prepare for the unimaginable lmfao

I'll probably never forgive Isayama for what he did to Hange, his best written character, how he completely ruined her and threw her away as disposable, just to make other characters "shine". HER DEATH WAS POINTLESS AND IT DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE ANYTHING! That's the harsh truth y'all. Yams betrayed Hanjo and us AND FOR WHAT?

Thanks for the ask anonie and sorry I turned this into my personal rant lmao hope you still enjoy reading my thoughts on this ❤️

#anonymous #asks #Hange #Hanji #Hange Zoe #Hanji Zoe #Hans Zoe #Hansi Zoe #Levihan #OTP #Ship #snk #shingeki no kyojin #Hajime Isayama #Holy moly that was a long one haha sorry about that folks 😂 #Meta #Snk meta

[trashahime]

Anon, sorry for taking so long and the length. There was a lot to address and I tend to ramble. Due to the length I am going to divide your ask in chunks and respond to each paragraph individually for clarity's sake.

I'm curious as to why you have addressed this to Sesskagu shippers both here and later. TBH, this alone will make many doubt that you are truly neutral because you seem to have fallen for the common but false claim that the anti sentiment has it's roots in bitterness over a lost ship war.

Those supporting the end are made up of a variety of people who are simply united in their dislike/disappointment. Among them are shippers and non-shippers, antis, neutrals and even some SR fans who are bothered by how their ship is portrayed.

Personally, I don't think it takes any kind of mental gymnastics to have a problem with how Sessrin is depicted in Yashahime. There are some antis who probably do purposely make the worst possible interpretations to fuel their disgust/anger. But most are being completely sincere in their belief that Rin was married and pregnant by the time she was 15. You have probably already seen and dismissed all the anti arguments to support this view so it would be pointless to rehash them. You can believe it's just about disliking Sessrin but there were many antis like myself who were willing to accept the relationship even if we found it distasteful had Sunrise gone about things differently.

Each "hater" has their own reason for continuing to watch the show and I can't speak for them. Or as a "hater" either as I enjoyed the show. But I also think it's a trainwreck with many issues and problematic portrayals.

If people are targeting individuals and maliciously interacting with their posts then that is definitely harassment. However, I suspect you also mean the general posts made by antis criticizing those who watch the show.

The belief that watching/supporting Yashahime equals supporting a p*dophilic portrayal of Sessrin and other unsavory stuff is an opinion I disagree with. But I also disagree that expressing that opinion is harassment.

I get why you find it to be extremely harsh and hurtful but I also think you are taking it very personally when you needn't.

Consider my position. I'm an anti that still enjoys Yashahime. Most of those posts are made by my moots, some of which I have very friendly interactions with. I have even more reason to feel personally attacked by them but I don't. Just because I respect someone's right to an opinion that doesn't mean I am obligated to agree with it and make it apply it to myself. Unless you agree that liking Yashahime means condoning p*dophilia, then I'd advise you to take the view that those posts don't pertain to you at all.

As for petitions, bad reviews, being glad Yashahime is almost over... Well that's some of the least offensive actions an anti can take. Two of the three are against corporations, not fellow fandom members and the other is just a celebration amongst themselves.

They don't affect anyone else unless the petitions and bad reviews are substantial enough to put the shows future in jeopardy. IMO, the correct counter action is good reviews and supportive petitions, not telling antis to stop. They have the right to express their opinions.

I have seen many grooming and csa survivors say they also don't view Sessrin as having those aspects. However, there are many survivors on the anti side that strongly disagree. While I think that the opinions of those who have endured similar circumstances have more weight, it also creates kind of a never ending tug of war situation where neither side can really "win" the argument because they are equally balanced. For every survivor saying it is, there is one saying it's not.

Generally, I choose not to use the words p*dophilia or grooming when describing the Sessrin relationship or say that everyone who likes the pairing is a P&G apologist.

Many antis don't agree on this, but I think it's possible to have headcanons and scenarios that result in a version of Sessrin in which those things are not present. Fanonwise anyway. To me, the canon situation can definitely be interpreted to believe that they are present.

Mostly, I tend not to use the terms because they have specific psychological and legal definitions. That makes it very easy for SR fans to completely dismiss the idea that they could apply to Sessrin because it's not a perfect fit. I think if it turns out to be part of actual canon or if it's just part of one's own headcanon that Sesshomaru was "waiting" for Rin to grow up and courting her with gifts like the kimonos then that means he had a romantic interest in her when she was too young for it to be acceptable.

He might not be a technical p*do in that he is attracted to children, but his thoughts and actions are of one with regards to Rin. I agree with those that say Sesshomaru would never intentionally manipulate or pressure Rin to be with him, thus not "technically" grooming.

However, informing her via courting that he wants to be with her when she is older does put a type of manipulative pressure on her. For years, she will have to live with the knowledge that her literal savior, the most important person to her in the world, someone she loves and doesn't want to disappoint, is waiting for her. It will absolutely influence her life choices and who she becomes.

No need to apologise, I don't mind being vented at and am clearly prone to long-ass messages myself.

I think you do have some valid frustrations but I don't think they all are.

It's often forgotten that antis are major fans too. Many wanted to love Yashahime but in their eyes Yashahime "bashes" the OG and it's characters. It's ruined something they held near and dear. And they are highly upset about it.

Think about it, that's probably why you and others are so angry at the criticism. It's bashing something you all enjoy or maybe even love and it's making you highly upset. You all are more alike then you realize.

You can let it all impact your fandom experience or realise there is very little you can do about it because that criticism, even if you find it unfounded, harsh or extreme has the right to exist provided it doesn't break the rules of the website. You won't be able to block it all away.

it's a tired old cliche but it's true that you can't control what others do, only your own reaction to it. And frankly I think some of your reactions are as extreme as to what you ascribe to antis. I mean, you want them to stop celebrating the end of Yashahime. How does that really personally affect you?

A change in perspective as I described earlier goes a long way in not taking anti criticism personally. It even works when you are being personally attacked. I have seen posts about me specifically saying I am a deluded and deranged individual with real life mental health issues just because I think Kagura is the mom. Those people don't know me and I know the truth about myself. So why let someone's unfounded false world view affect me or my fandom experience?

Anyway, you probably just wanted to rant and weren't expecting or wanting this massive response. I hope you find a way to deal with the negativity because it's not completely avoidable but it will die down eventually.

#ask #anti sessrin #antisessrin

[vanillateaa-deactivated20231025]

Not a question but more of a rant because I feel like a burden to all and everyone lately. My heart feels so heavy. I've went out of my way to love others and God knows how much I have suffered lately. I poured my love into people around me, not leaving anything for my own. Now that I am alone, I've hit rock bottom and I feel so numb. I wish I could just cease to exist, I wish I could just shatter to dust and leave everyone behind me

The fact that you've went out of your way to love others shows that you're an amazing person, anon. It must be tiring and exhausting for you, i know but know that you are not a burden. You're a person who's dealing with the burden of their own pain. You've put so much effort and love into others that you've no more left in you for yourself. I wish i had a proper way to comfort you love, but im honestly going through the same thing and still trying to figure out how to spend everyday without regretting everything. Im gonna try my best to comfort you. The few of the things that helped me were that realizing I'd have to make an effort to love myself everyday, any time i think of any self-hating thought i would ask myself " why am i being so negative to myself?" "Why does the voice inside of me always forces me to be unkind to myself?" i know you're tired. i know the thought of putting in effort is exhausting, and seems impossible when you don't give a shit about your own wellbeing. But for now i'm simply just asking you to consider other alternatives, to block out the voice that tells you it's pointless.

Think of it like this, treating yourself like how you would treat your best friend if they were feeling the same way as you are right now. You have to go easy on yourself, you'd have to treat yourself like how you would treat a child dealing with negativity/sadness. I understand that this is hard, there WILL be days when you really can't bother to focus on the good side or CHOOSE to be nice to yourself. Negative thoughts are extremely overwhelming and uncontrollable but with time you can learn to fight them. Next time you think that you aren't worthy of love, CHOOSE and make an effort to change that thought into a positive one. It takes time to learn but trust me it helps so much, im not saying it'll magically make everything better or like there'll never be bad day.... No. But by learning at least you'll be able to fight them and won't dwell on the negatives for too long. There is so much that can be done to change your habitual thinking patterns, your sense of self worth and just the general situation you’re in right now. in fact, change is inevitable if you stick around long enough to see it. it’s happening constantly, even when you don’t realise it. Andd so is healing and growth, even when you’re in pain too. it is entirely possible to recuperate, for happiness and peace to become a consistent theme in your future. I know it’s probably impossible to believe in this moment but i hope you can still accept the sentiment.

i really want to stress that you can’t believe anything your mind is telling you right now..... one of the biggest illusions of mental illness is that it convinces you to think in black and white, to believe that everything negative is permanent and that there’s no way forward. but that’s never true in reality.

You ranted to me and reached out to me...even if it's anonymously for some support or to be comforted. This is a good thing. Because, at least... You reached out to someone. Im proud of you okay? It does take a lot of effort to even just rant to someone because most of the times people don't really know how to comfort someone who's depressed.

no matter how hard it is to actually reach out, please please know that the option is always there and that you are never as alone as your mind wants you to believe. Another trick of depression is that it wants you to completely isolate yourself so you don’t feel the comfort of other people and their perspective, so the only thing you can believe is your own bad thoughts - but you CAN choose to subvert that urge, to talk to those around you about whats going on in your head. you dont have to do anything right this second. but please seriously consider what it is you actually need to do to step in a positive direction. actually incorporating healthy coping mechanisms into your life, having a consistent person you can open up to, confronting the deeply rooted reasons behind why you think/feel this way in the first place - all of that will make a huge difference in the way you see things. believe me when i say that where you’re at right now genuinely isn’t where you’re always going to be. if you seek what you really need, despite not wanting to, then over time your mind will begin to adapt and mold around healthier ideas, beliefs, and emotions.

My answer is so long but i really really really hope my words comforted you in some way. You have every right to be here. You are allowed to stay. You're not a waste of space or a burden. You don't need to do extraordinary things in order to have a right to live. You don't need to prove your worth to any one. Just like a tree or a flower or a star in the sky there is nothing wrong with you just beeing here. Don't forget that. I know living can be very very hard. But don't let this pain make you believe that you'll never feel any better.

these baby steps that you'll take will make the weight of this feel a lot lighter over time, if you just give it the chance to. and that alone is a good enough reason not to give up. some days it will genuinely feel like it’s too much, and that’s ok. because you can look at all the times you felt like that in the past, and be proud of yourself for surviving it. all you have to do for now is focus on your self and your own happiness, regardless of the shitty people in ur life. You’ve got thisss, okay love? take it one day at a time, you don't have to rush anything. I'm sending you all my love and hugs, hun. If you ever need someone, don’t hesitate to inbox me if it’s really urgent. you’re not alone, and you don’t have to handle it alone. 

#ask

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 3x21 Graduation Day Part 1

aka give us a kiss with a fist

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And today’s episode has a lot of everything, but I guess I’ll mainly just talk about Buffy and Faith. It’s been like 5 days since my last Fuffy rant anyway.

First of all, I wanna give a shout out to the anon namedropping the Still Pretty podcast into my inbox the other day. Congrats, I binged through the s1-s2 discussions already, and while I often don’t agree with a lot of points, it also put me into this weirdly critical headspace now. So there’s that.

But you know what, we’re gonna ignore a lot of that. There’s a lot of cool stuff in Graduation Part 1 that I like, even with some of those positively weird and questionable slices.

I mean the whole argument between Buffy and Angel is basically just reminding me that I too just want this to be done now? And you know what, here’s a hot take - Angel had no business there with Buffy on that crime scene. She didn’t want him there, she didn’t need him there, so of course she was annoyed with him. She doesn’t need to be the mature one when he’s the one adding nothing to this operation.

I also have a lot of mixed feelings about Anya and Xander at this point. The writing just went from 0 to 100 on the whole Anya likes Xander subplot and it’s weird.

Okay, over to some of the stuff I liked.

Buffy and Joyce’s scene here paints a nice picture of how far they’ve come. There’s something sweet about Joyce understanding what her daughter needs. Even if it is her staying away. (Which also somewhat foreshadows Joyce’s minimized role in the upcoming season.)

The difference between where they were at the end of s2 and s3 is also palpable if you look at the ever-present coming out metaphor.

Buffy:  Mom, I know that sometimes you wish I were different. Joyce:  Buffy, no.

Speaking of which, here’s also some delightfully out of context Bi Buffy reference for you all:

Willow (to Buffy):  You can’t do both? Xander:  Both what?

She can and she will, of course. But that’s for when I decide to re-read season 8 comics. I don’t know if there’s enough rant to cover all the nonsense in those though...

Buffy also has a lot of opinions about the Council, and that made me cheer. It’s so weird that we’re even now still treating the Council like this authoritative force, when Buffy pretty much told them to fuck off in Helpless. Now she’s just making it more official.

Wesley: The Council's orders are to concentrate on... Buffy: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders.

Love that for my girl.

I guess in that context Buffy turning her back on the council isn’t necessarily about them, but about her turning her back on authority in general. Buffy saw the order and the system under which the world operates and she rejects it. She is here to carve out her own way, to truly “graduate”.

Meanwhile Faith has surrendered herself to the system and the Mayor’s authority. But there’s also nuance in that choice, thanks to the relationship the two develop along the way. Faith is following orders, but she’s also doing things her own way, and she clearly craves the direction she has thanks to the Mayor’s tutoring. There appears to be genuine affection between them, and much like between Buffy and Giles, a textual father-daughter relationship.

Faith even opens up a bit, talking about her mother and her childhood. During those moments was when I wondered about the Mayor’s treatment of her the most. He doesn’t seem to push her to talk and open up more about those experiences, and part of me wants to think that it’s because the Mayor has Ascension on his mind, and doesn’t actually have that much of a genuine care for Faith and to connect with those parts of her... On the other hand, pushing Faith to open up is a guarantee for her to shut down, and he probably knows that.

It’s... a tough line. Because I do think that the Mayor loves Faith, but it’s closer to the kind of love vampires have for each other, than truly selfless love. In my opinion, he mostly wants to mold Faith into the daughter he wishes to have in her.

Mayor: You look lovely. Perfect for the Ascension. Any boys that manage to survive will be lining up to ask you out. Faith: It just isn't me, though.

I know, Faith. The Mayor is so weirdly obsessed and heteronormative about Faith’s love life, he really is like any classically hellish parental figure.

Which brings us to Faith’s real obsession: Buffy.

I like that while we’re showing Faith seemingly relaxed about her whole position with the Mayor, we also see her murdering a punching bag, and having those half-finished sentences about her childhood. Despite everything, you still get the sense that there’s a lot of stuff going under the surface that Faith isn’t dealing with.

Having seen Five by Five also changes the entire context of the fight scene between Faith and Buffy. It of course begins with an innuendo, as all fights between the two do, but the end is what truly sets the mood and leaves me with a deep impression.

As Faith stands there at the edge of the balcony after Buffy stabs her, telling her ‘what a ride’ it was... You get the sense that this is how Faith saw it end all along. She’s been falling ever since she betrayed Buffy, and it was only ever going to end one way.

Giles tells Buffy that Faith ‘has her at a disadvantage’, because she’s willing to kill or whatever, but I don’t think that was ever true. Faith may kill people, but it’s not because she’s motivated. She’s certainly not motivated to kill Buffy.

Faith is just... going through the motions. She’s lost all her drive. Nothing seems to penetrate her heart.

Buffy on the other hand is highly motivated to save Angel. And that is the ultimate blow to Faith. Faith being in love with Buffy has been the rapidly textual subtext for the entire season, even if the Mayor of course tried to retcon it into Faith wanting Angel, or some other nonsense. But textual or subtextual, Faith’s actions were always about Buffy, one way or another.

And here Buffy is, ready to kill Faith in the hope of saving Angel’s life. That’s how little Buffy seemed to have cared about Faith in the end.

I’m not sure how much that played into Faith’s mental state, but I do believe that at this point, she was just tired. She was ready for it to end, much like in that haunting, unforgettable scene at the end of Five by Five.

And yet even then, she did one last favor for Buffy. She chose to take that last fall on her own terms.

There is an interesting question of what Buffy would’ve done if Faith didn’t take away that choice from her. When she stabs Faith, you can see the pure shock and horror on her face as it dawns on her what she’s done. Sure, she went to Faith’s place with this exact goal, but she wasn’t truly prepared to kill. And certainly not to kill Faith.

You can see in SMG’s face throughout this whole sequence, how horrified she is. Which definitely makes me think that she probably would’ve taken Faith to the hospital herself after that... but on the other hand, it’s Angel. And we’ve seen time and time again how much Buffy was willing to give up, even of herself for him. That was sort of the point of their whole relationship falling apart - the fact that they were constantly on the verge of losing themselves in each other.

So I find this a fascinating what-if scenario that I don’t know the answer to. Buffy killing Faith for Angel in that moment would’ve fundamentally changed her character. And I can’t say with certainty, that she wouldn’t have gone through with it after the shock subsided.

That’s why I love Faith for taking away that choice from Buffy. Because even if she were to die, her taking that jump meant that she would’ve died for nothing here, becoming a constant reminder and warning for Buffy about taking a life.

Killing another human being should be pointless and horrifying. That’s the lesson Faith chooses to teach Buffy in what could’ve been her final moments.

Meanwhile on Less Fucked Up Relationship Land, we have Oz and Willow “panicking”. I love them and they’re delightful, and I don’t have much else to say about that, other than that’s at least something much lighter to close on.

Sadly, I’ll probably only get to watch Part 2 about a week from now, but at least I’ll have plenty to process up until then.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

[theskygivesmelife]

"I am the master of my fate,"

How ironic that a poem about self control uses this very phrase, whilst ignoring the fact that fate, or destiny actually imply that there can never truly be any control, for all is predetermined from the beginning of time.

...

I'd say we don't. Nonexistence is a superior state of existence in my opinion.

...

First things first: you don't love me, so stop saying you do. Even if you genuinely believe you do, you'll understand what I mean.

With that said, for the love of God can you stop messaging me? Not on WhatsApp because I will have *deleted* it, and not on Android messages because I can't respond as I don't have any balance. I use my phone only for music or gaming mainly anyway. Speaking of which, I thought I did make it clear that I don't want to talk to you. When was the last time we did talk? Right, your birthday. I don't remember ever being that drained after talking to you. Honestly, it was a pain—was it for you too? I guess that's what happens as one becomes truly apathetic. Seriously, I don't know who you're still trying to contact, but that person's dead. Well, not literally unfortunately, but if you do want to talk to some tired, disillusioned soul I'm still here I guess. As I mentioned, your little I love yous at the end don't really hold, because, you know, you're really just refering to the wrong person. For the record, I've started to think that not only am I incapable of loving, but am also incapable of being loved.

Anyhow, lets just say that if I were Jekyll then I'm Hyde now. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm responding to you. The "fuck her, why give a damn?" voices have been quite loud for some time. Well, I don't think of you all the time, so "fuck the world" might seem more apt as a generalisation. Back to the point: some time ago I'd have actually cared, but I don't give a shit now about anything.

I'll say it now: I don't think it'll ever be a good enough reason for you. I don't think any reason ever will. You'll probably still try to convince me to maintain contact, even though it's so horribly one sided. Well, I just couldn't care less for the most part. It'd probably be good if you wouldn't waste your time on me though. I mean, let's be real. You're not going to get my number once out if this country. Even if you miraculously did, you'd certainly make some replacement friends in college without the downsides that I have, so it'd be pointless. I know you won't listen anyway, and I said that I don't care either. So why am I even trying? I don't know.

If you'll remember I've tried to shut you out multiple times. It's funny now, ~because I feel absolutely nothing now.~ Quite often in the past I'd feel quite regretful or guilty, but now? Heh, just an emotionless robot just moving along now. Going through the motions you know. Still, if there's one thing I should mention, it's that I never lied to you when I said some sentimental crap like caring about you and such. Whoever I was back then, he genuinely ment it. And now, it seems like my wick is shorter than I imagined. It's going to burn up quick. You know what that means? Garima, it means peace at last. So, let me have my time now. I still dream of that little cottage far away, secluded from society. No-one for company. Okay, a cat and a dog. They'll be nice. A drum kit. Video games maybe? What'll I do? Electrician perhaps? Mechanic? Just so long as it isn't a crappy 9-5 job, and actually pays my bills. No people. No friends—do I really have any? No girlfriend—I don't want one (not asexual, but I'm not as horny as you I guess), and I doubt I'm capable of forming a proper relationship anyway. No family—I never had one to begin with. Can you imagine it? All alone and blissful. Just let me be. Please. One way or another, I'm gone. I'm actually feeling sad now typing this, tears in my eyes and all (I haven't cried in forever) but you shouldn't be. You've got a long, long way to go; you'll do well anyway. I don't know what I really was to you, or what I've done to you. I know that I was a hard person to deal with. I can't really list out all the times I've failed you; I hope you will forgive me for them. Believe me when I say that if there was ever I person I really tried to keep happy as often as I could, it was you.

" *Bye, stay healthy and happy* "

I won't—I can't.

Bye.

PS. Nice songs. I still appreciate music I guess, unless it's a really bad day.

...

[8/18/2018, 12:03 AM] Prathik: It seems not. Oh well, I was hoping I could talk one last time. Silly of me; you're probably either sleeping or studying for tomorrow's — should I say today's? — test.

[8/18/2018, 12:57 AM] Prathik: You know, I've been thinking: what if I wanted to talk to you one day? Would you then be ready to hold conversation? I think you would, but that doesn't strike me as fair. I mean you say that you'll miss me, but that's something you'll just have to take in your stride. On the contrary, if I miss you, then I try contacting you, and in all likelihood you'll just respond. What do you think?

[8/18/2018, 1:44 AM] Prathik: Maybe you're free tonight? I just want to talk; I don't know what I'm even doing now. Ugh I can't even explain it without sounding like some self pitying shithead. Forget it. I'm sorry

[8/18/2018, 12:42 PM] Prathik: Seriously, the very dynamics of our interactions are messed up. Everything is based on my mood and how I'm feeling. Don't want to talk? No problem! I'll go silent. Depressive episode? No problem! I'll go silent. It's like I can literally choose what and when we get to converse. Tired of our conversations? No problem! I'll just stop talking to you. And all you say is that you'll miss me. Sure, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, but bloody hell — why didn't you ever call me out for my behaviour? Gee, we screwed up...so many flaws and nothing was even done about them.

Yes, I'm ranting. I'll say stupid things, and maybe hurtful things too. If I were completely aware of what it is that sounded like that, then I wouldn't be saying them. Not that it's an excuse for saying anything I shouldn't. You probably shouldn't take anything personally, because in all likelihood, I'll probably just be projecting.

[8/18/2018, 12:52 PM] Prathik: Oh shit, I really need psychological help don't I? Do you think that if I got better, I'd finally stop sabotaging all the relationships I have?

[8/19/2018, 12:19 AM] Prathik: Goodbye

[8/19/2018, 2:25 PM] Prathik: Okay, I'll just leave this here. Just one last thing. I honestly am doubting my mental stability: I'd wager that I'm fairly unstable in general and more so at this point. My mood seems to swing like a fucking pendulum, and for whatever reason, I have and possibly might keep spouting unnecessary shit. So please, just *IGNORE EVERYTHING* I say. *EVERYTHING.* Except this one last message. Please. It's all I ask.

[8/19/2018, 2:54 PM] Prathik: I'm also not going to be using WhatsApp anymore — no point now right? — so I guess you'll be spared if having to reply to anything.

...

[8/8/2018, 10:24 PM] Prathik: Bloody hell, always nice to me even though I don't deserve it. Can't just go study like you ought to or talk to anyone else? You've got tons of friends after all. Perhaps one day they'll give you a consolation prize saying "good effort; hard luck" and maybe then you'll see how you're just wasting your time. Whatever. It's not like I can control you or force you to behave in a certain manner. Stupid world. Just leave me be

[8/8/2018, 10:52 PM] Prathik: I don't even know why you don't give in. I mean, what am I to you? Some depressed idiot that makes you feel better about yourself? I don't think that's the narrative you've sold to me, so that's probably not the reason.

It's kinda like you're an ant running against the wind. Not any wind, though, just that which is being blown by some sadistic little kid. It keeps running into it. Over and over it tries and fails. The wind keeps pushing it back, but the ant doesn't see how futile it's attempts are. It doesn't see that despite the fact that it keeps trying, nothing's going to change. It has so many other avenues of exploration, ones that would certainly lead to a great reception from the colony, but oh no. The ant keeps running, hoping that the resistance will decrease. Eventually the boy just blows harder, and the ant flies away and lands on its back. (Good thing it has an exoskeleton.) Only then does it see how pointless its efforts were, and that they were better off invested somewhere else.

...

You know how people throw that fucking annoying platitude around? That things will get better? Doesn't happen. It's no different in its progression from a physical illness, and once you go beyond a certain stage you're only living on fumes at that point. Limited time. But it'll get better they say. Fucking hell, it can also get worse, but who's willing to actually concede that bleak truth?

...

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm just getting worse mentally. I mean, I set the suicide date for when I'm 25. It's only kept dropping. I started considering pushing it to college years, and now I'm genuinely pondering whether I should just drop out of college like when I'm 19 or so and be done with it — at least I won't have to wonder about how you'll come meet me in USA lol. I'm also drawing more blanks in tests. It's not like I don't know, it's just making me more and more anxious. Like the psychology UT we had just some time ago. I left 12 marks because it seemed to easy to be true and I thought I was wrong. I got 17.5 . And meeting people, ugh. Worse than ever. Sure I'm introverted, but at this rate I'm practically going to become a hermit. My ability to function like a sane person is waning, and it's actually quite clear. It's makes me awe struck and horrified at the same time seeing how someone is so capable of self sabotage. Yeah, I don't think I was made for this world. Just one big mistake that hasn't been taken care of yet.

...

Oh, if you haven't listened to it already, you really should listen to Heroes by David Bowie. Please do, if you haven't yet. Just this one song.

...

[6/28/2018, 12:13 AM] Prathik: I love you.

[6/28/2018, 12:14 AM] Prathik: ^ I just felt like saying that.

...

You don't get it. I don't know for sure that you like talking to me. Yes, you've said so so many times that I've lost track. I'd be lying if I said that it were enough to convince me. It isn't; you can't do anything to change my perception of myself, and sometimes I'll project, being the idiot I am after all. There's never going to be a time when I can the voice that says you're you're just using me for some kicks or something to shut up. That doubt will never go, and every time you say something like that, I'll make sure to interpret it as evidence that even you don't care, that you just let your guard down. You can't ever really make me satisfied or happy, so don't throw away any more of your time actually trying to justify anything. If you know that what you've done is fine, then it's fine.

...

[6/12/2018, 8:51 PM] Prathik: Speaking of which, it's interesting that you brought up the fact that our relationship is dysfunctional. Not that I really addressed it well when you originally meantioned it. It does make me wonder, are the dynamics of the way we interact with each other actually healthy? Perhaps we're just fucking each other in the ass and not even realising it? While it's a possibility that I consider, you should know that I don't think the second one is too probable. All the same, it's bothersome enough to actually consider pondering over. Funny, though, how I've just turned a blind eye to it; best relationship you've had you say. Pretty much the same for me, I suppose that's why I've not considered anything that suggests contrary to that opinion.

You know, we never did our cliched apologies. I'm not sure what exactly to apologise for; however, I don't have any qualms admitting that I did fuck up. I'm not sure it makes any sense to apologise for going silent for a month. Honestly, while I did miss you, I'm not sure of how much I actually regret it. Heck, if I hadn't misunderstood your message and not responded... Moreover, what's the point of saying sorry for something I've done multiple times and might do again anyway? It probably does defeat the purpose of it. I do regret making you angry though. I'm not too proud of getting you pissed off, I honestly am sorry about that. That conversation just didn't go the way I'd have liked it to I guess...

[6/12/2018, 8:53 PM] Prathik: Also, is it just me or have things between us changed? I mean, the one month silence probably did more harm than good. It'd have probably been better had I never done anything, or had not stupidly misinterpreted what you said and stayed silent after all. I don't know, I'm not saying it has anything to do with you anyway. I know who's responsible if something is wrong after all.

[6/12/2018, 10:04 PM] Prathik: Oh, today I mixed NaOH with NH4Br, boiled it and inhaled it. I also had to do some speaking for a group activity in English, and I didn't really fuck it up at all or get shaky knees

Just saying. Anyway, which Tapasya acquaintances are you still in touch with?

[6/12/2018, 10:42 PM] Prathik: Oh look, they just killed off net neutrality in USA. Fucking Ajit Pai. As if he didn't have an incredibly punchable face to begin with.

...

[6/10/2018, 10:05 AM] Prathik: If you say so. Read at your own inconvenience.

Since I'm idiotic enough, I decided to read more of the dude's articles. Lost a ton of brain cells. Also, don't read the comments. Nutty, the lot of them.

[6/10/2018, 11:00 AM] Prathik: "The power of propaganda always surprises me. Only 30 years ago, homosexuality was almost universally condemned, and now it’s accepted in half the world and half the States. Clearly, the natural position worldwide is that homosexuality is a disorder, and should be condemned. The problem is, we lost the youth. Somehow, homosexual advocates were able to brainwash and indoctrinate them into accepting it. If you talk to anyone my age, they believe that homosexuality poses no health risks (homosexuals have a 5 times higher chance of getting HIV) and that they are born as homosexuals (despite no scientific evidence.) IMO this is a result of two things: homosexual propaganda (esp. through the internet) and the collapse of the traditional marriage model. The parents simply haven’t taught their children about Christianity and thus they are easy prey for the homosexual movement.

Honestly, I am very pessimistic and I feel that it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. More and more ‘Christians’ are accepting this behavior day by day and it’s heartbreaking."

Has to be the most ironic things I've ever read. Talks about propaganda and indoctrination, but completely turns a blind eye to how he's become what he is.

[6/10/2018, 6:29 PM] Prathik: And now, I've realised that I could have actually spent my time better by talking to you on the phone as you suggested. Not that I studied one bit as I planned to do.

...

[6/9/2018, 1:56 AM] Garima Joshi: Bye now, love you.

[6/9/2018, 1:57 AM] Prathik: Bye. Love you.

...

if I could really recover from the depressed, socially anxious, and suicidal person I am today, believe me I'd let you know immediately. I promise.

...

[3/20/2018, 3:01 AM] Garima Joshi: I know you said you were tired. Thanks for sticking around. Always great talking to you.

[3/20/2018, 3:02 AM] Prathik: It's always fun talking to you. So.. yeah. Do we say goodnight or goodmorning at this point?

[3/20/2018, 3:03 AM] Prathik: Yeah. Stay safe in Delhi will you? Bye.

[3/20/2018, 3:04 AM] Garima Joshi: I'll try, I'll try.

Have a good day (today)

Bye, love you.

[3/20/2018, 3:06 AM] Prathik: I thought you said cheesy stuff were grossing you out...

I'm sorry, did I sound a little overprotective?

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Garima Joshi: Okay Patrick I love you v much but I'll find you a wife tomorrow, for now you need those 2 hours 58 minutes of beauty sleep to rope in all those women

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Prathik: Lulz. Fine. Love you too.