#I don’t want this to end making us think what happened was acceptable
very condescending and ironic of germany to want to lecture other countries on human rights when they have no problem with 1) selling weapons and bombs to kill middle eastern civilians, 2) allying themselves with countries that are comitting genocide and are legally allowed to execute their LGBT citizens and 3) not using their influence as the soft leaders of the EU to actually put pressure on Hungary instead of lightning up a damn stadium. It's all about money they don't actually give a shit about the lgbt community much less the hungarian lgbt community
I mean yes I agree. I’m not German so I really am not the one to specifically discuss what they’re doing. I just saw the thread and the article. And said I loved them because I was just reacting lol although I don’t think they’re really lecturing. All western countries are essentially like that especially in regards to football. And then there’s Uefa wanting to move the final to Budapest because England won’t lift the quarantine policies to their vip guests and Budapest don’t have any restrictions because they’re ignoring covid numbers. And yeah symbolism without action is just that a symbol. But I still think it’d be a nice one to see on the world stage at the euros. We gets scraps from football as lgbtq+ fans. Rainbow laces and corner flags. A couple games a year with rainbow armbands. And that’s if you live in a “tolerant” country. There is still a bunch of homophobic chants like at the Hungary v France game and the Mexico v USMNT game a week ago. Lord knows male closeted players are still no where near ready to come out and be accepted. And all the clubs, national teams, and tournaments have sketchy sponsors. That’s where modern football is right now. All about money. I mean if we really want to get picky, none of us who are aware of these things should be watching and supporting this then. I’d love for Germany (and England and France) to put pressure on Hungary and the UN to step in. Maybe this would help with that. Football has a huge outreach and is actually quite influential. Or maybe it’ll just be a lit up stadium that gets ignored by the masses. Don’t know unless it happens. But maybe some symbols are still worth doing. Get people talking and discussing (like we are!) and then see if we can make change happen. Will everything you said magically get corrected, no. At the end of the day it’s all a business. And it wants to make money. If that’s not something you or anyone can except, then you don’t have to! You can be aware of it and continue watching the euros or stop watching the euros. Both valid I think. I’m certainly not the one to tell someone what they should or shouldn’t do. There isn’t a perfect country and sports team out there. Idk silence and “sticking to football” doesn’t seem like a good answer but neither does hypocrisy. I’m just rambling now. Sorry. I just don’t really know what to say to this. I also just really want to see the Allianz lit up like a rainbow because my little gay heart would feel good for 30 seconds.
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Prompt: Spencer can’t let go of the past. Y/N can’t pretend this isn’t hurting her anymore.
Based on the song “Another love” by Tom Odell for #willsannievent.
Warnings: Major angst, break up, sad!Spencer, mentions of death, mentions of depression, mentions of self-hate.
Check my masterlist here.
*DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED SEASON 8 OF CRIMINAL MINDS! THERE IS A MAJOR SPOILER IN THIS STORY.*
And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright
I’m just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
But my hand’s been broken, one too many times
So I’ll use my voice, I’ll be so fucking rude
Words they always win, but I know I’ll lose
It’s been said that you really only fall in love with three people in your lifetime, but it’s also believed that you need each of these loves for a different reason but they are all equally as important as the other because they shape you, they turn you into the person you’ll be for the rest of your life.
Spencer doesn’t agree with that.
There’s the first love, a love that looks right, a love usually called “Fairytale love”.
This is the love you watch on movie screens, in TV shows, in bedtime stories where the prince and the princess have their “happily ever after” ending. It’s the love you wish you had, a love that you assume it’s easy to find. It’s the starry-eyed love that happens when you’re young, probably in High School when you’re surrounded by all of these people and finally one of them catches your attention.
It’s a love that doesn’t feel quite right but you get into it because you think it’s the most important thing in the world at the moment. It’s a love you jump right in because you want to know how love feels, because you’re overwhelmed by emotions and feelings and everything that comes with them. It’s probably a love that appeals to what you should be doing in the eyes of society, of your family, that you accept just because you think it’s okay to do it. But you know it’s not the love you want.
Spencer remembers when he experienced his first love. It happened in High School, when he met this beautiful girl with the cutest smile he has ever seen and the sweetest voice he could ever hear. He thought she was the one for him, because she was the only one that talked to him without making fun of him – or so he thought, because he ended up completely naked and tied to a chair in front of everyone at school. It was something unexpected, something that hurt him, something that pushed him to believe love wasn’t and was never going to be for him.
The second love, also called the “Hard love”, is the kind of love that hurts.
It’s the love that brings you to your breaking point over and over and eventually pushes you on your knees, sobbing and wondering where it all went wrong, or if it was ever right.
It’s a love that suffocates you, a love that destroys your heart in ways you’ve never expected love to do. With this kind of love, you think about fixing it without reflecting on whether you should. It’s a love that, through all the pain and the trauma, teaches you a lesson about who you are as a person, but mostly teaches you what you should look for in a relationship and what you don’t want in your life.
But it’s an emotional roller coaster made of extreme highs and lows, and like a drug addict trying to get a fix, you stick through the loops of this love with the low expectation and hope for one single high. It’s a love that you wished was right and when it doesn’t work out, you feel defeated but you know it was for the best.
Spencer clearly remembers this kind of love, when he had the chance to be with a person but then other obstacles came up, ruining everything. He fell in love with a woman through the phone, a woman he has never seen before and a woman who kind-of betrayed him, a woman that lied to him, a woman that sent shivers down his spine when she called him. A woman that stole his heart and crushed it onto the ground when she did right in front of his eyes, after he wasn’t able to tell he loved her to the moon and back.
This love was traumatic, it was difficult but he couldn’t fix it even if he tried. But when he tried, he ruined everything and she ended up in a pool of her own blood in front of his eyes. It’s a love that drilled a hole in his heart, a love that suffocated him because it never blossomed the way he desperately wanted to. But, despite everything people said about the second love, “the hard love”, Spencer knew it would’ve worked out if obstacles didn’t come up. If Maeve allowed him to help her through everything, if Maeve would’ve just told him the truth.
Then there’s the third love, the “love that lasts”.
It’s a love you never see coming, a love that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys every lingering ideals you clung to about what love is supposed to be.
It’s the love that comes so easy it doesn’t feel possible because it’s a connection that cannot be explained and knocks you off your feet because you never planned for it.
It’s a love Spencer doesn’t believe in, a love he doesn’t think would come for him because his mind is still focused on a love that should’ve been, a love that should’ve happened for him.
It’s a love that sweeps you off your feet, sure; this is the only thing that happened to him, when he met her for the first time. But it’s all because of her bubbly personality, the sweetest smile he has ever seen after that girl in High School, the cutest pair of eyes that he settled his own on. Spencer still gives it a go with her, hoping that maybe she will be his new fix and helps him forget the love he so dearly wanted before.
But Y/N is nothing like Maeve.
She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she’s sweet, she’s kind. There’s nothing wrong with Y/N because she’s an amazing person with an even better personality. She’s herself. But she’s not Maeve.
Spencer had told Y/N about Maeve.
One night he was so overwhelmed with the memories and upset because it was Maeve’s anniversary. Y/N found him on his couch, wrapped in his favourite blanket, and asked what was wrong with him – and he broke down completely, telling her everything that happened to his ex lover. He cried, he almost pushed Y/N away but she was so understanding, so gentle with him and didn’t make him uncomfortable. He felt like shit for pretending to love her when his heart belonged to someone else, to the woman he was crying about, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Y/N the truth. He hoped she would’ve seen it in his eyes because she’s a profiler and she should be able to read people’s body language, but she couldn’t. Or she wouldn’t.
Maybe Y/N didn’t want to admit the truth to herself, maybe she was naive, maybe Spencer was being her hard love and she simply can’t pull away from him because she’s doing everything in her power to keep him by her side even though she knows he’s not right for her – just like Maeve was his second love, even though she ended up also being his third and everlasting one. Spencer feels like she is.
Even though she died years before, and she left a hole in his heart, he can’t move on.
Y/N is just... someone to Spencer, nothing more than that.
And he hates this because she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, she doesn’t deserve to be with someone who doesn’t love her the way she should be loved because Y/N is just so amazing, she’s so perfect in every single way. She doesn’t deserve to be with someone who sees her just as “someone” there for him and not as the person they’re in love with, but Spencer is tired of pretending he wants her.
Spencer is stuck in the past, a past that is slowly breaking him in little pieces Y/N can’t put together – or so he thinks. He doesn’t want her to put him back together, he wants to be left alone but he doesn’t want Y/N any longer. He doesn’t want to make her feel like he’s feeling, he doesn’t want her to go through what he’s going through with his ideal love with Maeve.
«Hi love! Happy anniversary!»
Y/N’s angelic voice captures his attention, forcing the young doctor to turn around and watch her as she makes her way inside of his apartment. He forgot she was coming over, he forgot today is their first anniversary and he even forgot to buy her something – but why would he buy her a flower if he doesn’t want to be with her? If he can’t be with her?
Y/N takes off her denim jacket, leaving it on the chair next to the entrance. «I’m sorry I’m late, there was traffic and I think a car accident not too far from here. But I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts to buy you these!»
Spencer shrugs, lowering his eyes as he crosses his arms to his chest. «It’s okay.»
She holds out a box filled with chocolate doughnuts covered with sprinkles, his favourites. «They were the last three and they’re all yours.»
He wants to smile. He really wants to because she’s doing all of this to make him happy, to show him how much she loves him but he can’t bring himself to lift the angles of his lips. It’s too much, it’s suffocating and he can’t take this anymore. He can’t pretend this is okay, he can’t pretend to love her any longer. It makes his heart hurt.
Y/N walks towards him after placing the doughnuts on the table in front of his TV and grabs both his hands, leaning forward to give him a kiss on the lips but he pulls away before she can do it. He also winces at her touch, as if she just burned him with her hands. She takes a step back, suddenly an icy cold wave of air washes over her.
«Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?»
Spencer runs his fingers through his hair, stepping away from her and shaking his head with his eyes low on the floor. His heart hurts from doing what he’s about to and all he wants to do is to kiss her, to make her feel alright because she doesn’t deserve any of this. Y/N didn’t do anything wrong. She’s just the most perfect human being that has ever graced this Earth, the most amazing person he found after all these years that he just can’t love – even though he knows he should, because she’s made for him and has made him feel like he could be loved again.
Spencer wants to cry, the frustration hitting him hard on the chest and almost leaving him breathless. There are so many reasons why he shouldn’t break up with her and there’s only one reason that wants him to do so: she’s not Maeve. Spencer is so haunted by the shadow of his second love, of the love that should have been, that he’s blind to everything else.
When he kissed Y/N, he clearly remembers he felt something – which is why they started dating not too long after. Spencer wants to love Y/N so bad because she proved to him that he’s able to feel something after what he’s been through, because she proved to him his heart is still made of love and blood, and not stone cold ice. But he can’t, he just can’t.
Hurting her is the last thing he wants to do. He wants to punch himself in the face for thinking about breaking up with her, therefore breaking her heart and upsetting her, but he can’t keep on pretending. He’s still hung up on another love.
Another love that has captured his heart.
Another love that shattered his heart.
Another love that should have been.
So he’ll use his voice, he’ll be so fucking rude so at least she’ll have a reason to hate him for good.
«I can’t keep doing this to you, Y/N.»
She stares at him, her eyes wandering around the room until they settle on the book on his couch. And her heart drops because she knows what’s coming, she knows what this is all about and there’s nothing she can do to stop her tears from falling. That book, The narrative of John Smith, haunted her for months but she thought she didn’t have to worry about it. She thought it was nice to have a memory of a love that existed, but maybe she shouldn’t have.
Spencer can’t bring himself to look at her because he knows what he’s going to see. He knows how her voice changes when she’s sad, when she’s getting her heart broken because it cracks. Her voice drops lower than usual, just like right now, and he hates it. He hates how it sounds right now, because it’s all his fault.
He should’ve been honest with her, he shouldn’t have jumped into a relationship he wasn’t ready for – or maybe he was ready, but he changed his mind when he realised how deep and strong her love for him ran. It’s probably stronger than what Maeve felt for him, deeper than he thought he’d deserve. It’s a real love, a love she thought was everlasting also on his part but she was wrong. So fucking wrong, it almost pains Spencer to think about.
«Say it, Spencer.»
When his eyes settle on her face, his heart gets ripped out of his chest.
Y/N is staring at him with a coldness he has never witnessed before, she’s patiently waiting for him to break her heart in the worst way. But her body is screaming a whole different story because her hands are shaking, she’s not breathing right and she’s holding back. And suddenly his voice is gone, his words get stuck in his throat and a voice in his head yells at him to keep his mouth shut, to stay quiet because this is all wrong. This shouldn’t happen, he can’t let this happen.
«You want to break up with me, don’t you?»
Spencer breaks the eye contact with a frustrated sigh, massaging his temples with the tip of his fingers. This is all so confusing, this is all so terrifying for him and she knows it – which is why she’s waiting, hoping that those words won’t come out of his mouth but she knows very well they will, eventually. And she’s not ready to hear them, she’s not ready to get her heart broken in the blink of an eye.
Y/N doesn’t move, her eyes following his every move. «You can’t even look at me in the face. Am I that unimportant?»
She wants to punch him, she wants to pull his hair, she wants to scream at him, she wants to cry, she wants to throw all of those doughnuts on his face and rip all the pages from his new books, but she can’t do it unless he says something. And he has to, or she’ll hold on to that little flicker of hope still lingering in the air.
«Am I so insignificant?»
Spencer shakes his head, nervously tapping his fingers on his thigh. «You’re not insignificant.»
Y/N looks up, brushing the back of her right hand over her cheek. «Come on, then. Be a decent human being and tell me the truth, I don’t have all day.»
«I can’t love you.»
She scoffs, grabbing her jacket from the chair.
Anger is running through her veins and she knows she should hold back, but how can you blame her? He’s dumping her on the day of their anniversary, after pretending to love her for a whole year without feeling bad for it, without realising how dangerous, how painful, how sickening this is.
«“It’s not you, it’s me”, right? “I can’t love you because I still love my ex girlfriend even though you’ve proven to me I can be loved and I deserve to be loved. I can’t love you because I don’t want to move on from my past, even though I told you I’m okay and I want to be with you.” Is that what you want to say but you can’t bring yourself to?»
He snaps his head towards her, his heart dropping in his chest. «Y/N...»
She lifts both her hands, looking at him with pure coldness and anger. «Don’t you dare play the victim now because it’s pointless. It took you a whole year to figure out you don’t want to be with me, do you understand how miserable that makes me feel? A whole fucking year. And before that, eight months. We’ve dated for eight long months before you asked me to officially be your girlfriend. Eight months! And in all this time you’ve never... You...»
Spencer knows she’s breaking down and holding back something she knows she can’t say out loud, but he can’t deny that she’s right in everything she’s spilling out. He had twenty months to figure this out, twenty months that led her to fall deeper in love with him and he just didn’t care because he thought he could be with her.
He thought she could make him happy and she does! He has never felt this happy before in his life, she gave him a purpose in life and she kept him going, she has made him the happiest man alive from all the attentions, the kisses, the late night conversations, the gifts, the silences, the cuddles, the incredible and strong love he was waiting and knew he could receiving by her and only her.
What has changed now? What made him realise he doesn’t feel anything for her?
But he feels something for her.
Pity, because she fell for a man that can never be hers.
She fell for a man that is still haunted by the ghosts of the past, by the shadow of a love that should have been, a love that keeps crushing his heart even though Y/N tried to keep alive with her own heart, her own love, her affection, her own connection with him.
Spencer looks at her, tears in his eyes and pain in his heart as Y/N stares at him in horror. Her eyes are wide open, her lips are slightly parted and her cheeks are stained with tears, her mascara running down as her heart feels heavier than ever before. The realisation of what he’s not saying lingers in the air, choking her; ripping her heart out of her chest and driving a stake through it, making it bleed.
«You’ve never loved me.»
Spencer shakes his head frantically. «No! No, I do. I love you, I really do.»
Y/N sniffles, turning her head away for a second.
She doesn’t believe him at all but she chooses to, not caring if this is a lie or not.
his is too much for her and right now all she cares about, well all she wanted to do that day, was celebrating their love with him, by kissing him, by watching a movie, by cooking something.
«You don’t love me, there’s no need to lie. – mutters the young woman, trying to keep her posture and not break down again – Your ex girlfriend is dead, Spencer. She’s gone, she won’t come back to you. She loves you from afar but she’s not here and I am! I’m giving you everything and it’s not enough for you because I’ll never be her! I will never be Maeve, Spencer. I’m me, I’m Y/N Y/S/N.»
He knows Maeve will never come back. He knows she’s gone and he’s okay with it. Sometimes he misses her, but he has Y/N.
Why does it have to be so confusing?
Why can’t he simply think about the woman right in front of him, crying because he’s killing her?
«You have two choices: the first, which is to love me for who I am, or the second, to leave me for a ghost And I think you’ve made your choice pretty clear, Spencer. – says Y/N, putting her jacket back on – I will never lose a fight with a sanctified ghost.»
He stares at her, brushing the back of his hand over his cheek. «I’m so sorry, Y/N. You’ve been nothing but amazing to me. You gave me time, you gave me space, you gave me everything you could and I’m just hurting you. I wish this could be different, I wish....»
She holds out a hand, stopping him before he could say something else. «Don’t say things you know are not true. You love her, I can’t compete with your everlasting love. I can’t even if I tried. And I tried so hard to make this work, because you deserve to be happy.»
«But you deserve someone better than me.»
Y/N bites her bottom lip, taking a step back before he could come closer. «Maeve would’ve wanted you to be happy, not wasting your time mooning over her ghost. I’m being harsh and I hate it, but I can’t just pretend this is not hurting me because it is. It’s killing me and I don’t know what I did to deserve this.»
Spencer sighs loudly, placing a hand over his heart. «You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N. You’ve been amazing.»
«Yeah, that’s what hurts the most. I’ve done everything for you and what have I got in return?»
He finishes the sentence for her. «Lies.»
There’s a pause after that.
He wasn’t lying when he told her he liked her after that dinner in her own car after a case he finished working on.
He wasn’t lying when he kissed her on the lips for the first time and whispered he wanted to be with her.
He wasn’t lying when he told her that everything was better since he met her.
He wasn’t lying when he promised her they would find a little cottage somewhere and spend their holidays there, with no one around but themselves.
«The only lie I told you was that I loved you.»
Spencer wants to smack himself in the face after saying those words.
He just admitted he never loved her in the first place, something he denied a few seconds before, and he can literally see Y/N’s heart break even more. Why is he doing this to her? Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut today? He’s ruining everything.
Y/N scoffs again, a bitter laugh leaving her lips. «Just a pretty little lie. Nothing major, right?»
He frowns at her words, the sarcasm burning in her throat, but he completely understands why she’s angry. She has every right to be angry at him, he deserves to be yelled at because he’s being almost selfish.
«You shouldn’t have started dating me if you weren’t emotionally over her, Spencer. You can either wallow in your memories of her or live a life with me. You said you dealt with her loss years ago, that you went to a therapist and you worked through your grief but this... – says Y/N, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear – This proves nothing helped you, this proves I didn’t help you enough and I can’t do it if you lie to me, but I also can’t be your saviour. I’ve listened to you, I’ve comforted you during her anniversary five months ago and you never had the decency to tell me the truth once, in 365 days of our relationship. And you don’t even love me.»
Spencer wants to tell her that one day he will, eventually he will fall in love with her but now he can’t because all of the tears, all of his hopes and dreams are wasted on another love. Y/N won’t understand this now because she feels betrayed, because she has got her heart broken today and it’s all his fault.
«You said you were ready for a relationship but she’s still the centre of your thoughts. And I should be that person, I should be the one you want to love. – adds Y/N, closing the jacket on her chest – You should get therapy to understand your inability to grieve and move on with your life, because Maeve wouldn’t have wanted you to do all of this. She wouldn’t have wanted you to throw a whole year of relationship because of her. You always talk about her like some kind of angel and I’m pretty sure she was an amazing person, but she’s not here now. I am.»
Spencer wants to throw up, the intensity of the moment is almost too much for him but he has to stay. He can’t run away and break Y/N’s heart even more, especially now that she’s about to walk away from him – and probably his life for a very long time. He doesn’t know how she’s going to act at work, if she’s going to be able to face him every single day of her life until she or he quits. He doesn’t know anything.
«You treated me so well. I guess I can say you’re an amazing actor. – spits Y/N, venom filling her voice – If you had to quit your job, you could go straight to Hollywood.»
Spencer takes a deep breath, finally speaking up and knowing he’s about to destroy everything even more. «You’re not being a good girlfriend. You’ve never been one.»
She falls silent, her mouth agape and her eyes wide open.
«You’ve been selfish, always needing my attention when you could see I couldn’t be with you. – his voice sounds so cold, so distant, so aggressive yet so calm – You’ve never asked me how I felt about a new relationship after what happened to Maeve, you’ve never asked me why I couldn’t date for all those years after her death.»
But Y/N can’t keep her mouth shut, a tug on her heart forces her to speak up because this is not right. If he wants to break up with her, so be it, but he has no right to say these things – especially if they’re all lies to make him feel better, to make him sleep at night after committing the worst mistake of his life.
«I did, Spencer, I fucking did! You were the one that told me not to ask you questions, you were the one that told me you were ready for a new relationship with me because I was able to help you and understand you! You were the one that told me you couldn’t date anyone because you were terrified of losing them, and look at us now! Look at what you’re doing, Spencer! You’re losing me and you don’t give a fuck! – exclaims Y/N, kicking her bag on the floor – Don’t you fucking dare blame me for your inability to commit a relationship that we both seem to have wanted at the beginning. Don’t you fucking dare blame my paranoia and my insecurities, when I’ve been nothing but understanding with the whole Maeve situation. I didn’t know her like you knew her, but I knew her through your words and I’ve never wanted to take her place! Never.»
Spencer backs away now, seeing Y/N’s whole body shake with anger. If a look could kill, he would’ve been dead before she even set her eyes on his face. But who can blame her? He’s trying to get out of this situation, to break up with her for good because he can’t keep lying to her and forcing her to be with him.
«You are scared of people leaving you because of everything you’ve been through and I get it, Spencer. Jason left you, Derek left you, your father left you and Maeve died. I promised you I would never leave you because I’m truly, madly, deeply in love with you but remember that you are the reason why I am leaving now. – Y/N points his finger to his chest, pushing his body backwards – I offered you to ask a friend of mine to get you into her program, I asked you to talk to me if you felt the need to ease the weight off your chest but you’ve never said a single thing, besides promising me you were in love with me.»
«I lied! Okay? Yes, I fucking lied to you, Y/N! I lied about loving you and I lied about being over Maeve, is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you wanted me to say? – he screams, his vein prominently popping on his neck as Y/N takes a step back – I want to break up with you because I don’t love you! I never did!»
These words won over her and Spencer feels like a part of himself has just died along with the last flicker of hope in her eyes.
Y/N simply looks at him, her eyes trying to understand if this is a nightmare or the truth of life as she holds back a sob.
Spencer wants to run to her and hug her so tightly he’ll consume her, he wants to throw himself off a window because he just ruined the most perfect woman he could ever meet.
He allowed his mind to play tricks on him, he let the memory of a ghost haunt him to the point he ruined his own relationship – a relationship that was actually helping him.
Y/N grabs her bag from the floor and walks to the door of his apartment, sniffling. She wants to turn around but she knows Spencer won’t look at her. This was the last straw for her because he spat in her face that he never loved her.
What hurts the most is that he didn’t even try, he didn’t even..
She opens the door with her shaky hands and takes a deep breath, turning around to look at him only to find him holding that book. There’s nothing else to say, there’s nothing else to do for her so she lets out a huge sigh, smiles at him and walks out of his apartment.
When the door closes with a loud slam, Spencer throws the book on the floor in anger.
He lost the only person who meant something for him.
“Miss me a little but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me but let go.”
Christina Georgina Rossetti
Taglist: @s1utformgg, @getyoutmoon @bookishspencer, @allexthakatt, @calm-and-doctor, @reidswhoree @nazifa94 @srhxpci @eevee0722 @reichelhache @aperrywilliams @escapingrealities @willowrose99
Let me know if you want to get added to my taglist. x
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Right, ⚠️ Content warnings ⚠️ for blood and implied self-harm:
Now, I’m sure that based on the last Charlie post, it could be figured out that he was a little strange or oddly cold for someone so young, but what if I told you that the lad actually grows to be a rather prolific serial killer? After the incident during his training, he was left pretty warped, feeling otherwise empty and numb to basically any and all emotions…save for anger and disdain, the only emotions he’s capable of, and he can hardly control them; he would start feeling the compulsion to kill the people who angered him, but never acted upon them. After all, he’s obviously been taught murder is wrong. After years of fighting these compulsions in utter silence, knowing exactly what happened to people who openly admitted to wanting to commit these crimes….and an attempted drowning….he accepted them, but he had an idea..
Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t kill people for the sake of it, no, he finds those kinds of people absolutely repulsive and those are the people he ends up targeting, taking a leaf out of Dexter’s book, he tracks down his former instructor, now retired from exorcism and makes a pretty..messy…attempt on his life, using just items found in the victim’s home, and dumping the body in the river Thames. From there he started to ‘refine’ his methods..making sure he would’ve get caught out.
Now, you’re probably thinking ‘cool, but what’s with the hand scars, and the blood?’ and I’m gonna get to that now. Without beating around the bush, Charlie does these slight nicks and cuts to himself. Initially, they were genuinely accidents while making wood carved sculptures, until he realised it made him feel at least SOMETHING aside from anger, and that made him start to do it intentionally on occasion. Though he’ll always play it off as another ‘accident’ while carving, or working.
Sure, what Charlie does is still wrong…legally…and it’s morally questionable..but he doesn’t particularly see that, but that’s because he’s somewhat narcissistic.
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Dating Is The Fascinating Portion Of Your Life
Prior to going with this date, make sure you come in agreement with yourself. You don't want to be caught fighting with yourself over a choice if you want to create one. Decide in advance what behaviors and situations will soon be acceptable to you and what won't. Provided that you are comfortable and feel these boundaries have not been breached, you are able to relax and flow with what's happening. But, once a point is crossed, you have to be prepared to seize control of yourself and not only accompany something you discover uncomfortable, unacceptable, or dangerous.
You're likely to be nervous when you're newly dating someone, and knowing what your boundaries are can help you be safe and understand this relationship off to a great start. If you've decided on your boundaries in advance, and seriously considered how you'd handle it if your boundary is crossed means you'll know what to do already, and Escorts in Lahore not need to produce your responses on the spot. This really is very useful when you might be nervous, excited or not thinking clearly. Normally, I would recommend getting face to manage when possible, because you get so many clues, including pheromones, that you do not overcome phone, texting, email or video. However, they're not normal times, and we're sheltering set up, so face to manage has gone out, unless you intend to risk getting within six feet of every other. Keep in mind that folks may be infected and not know it, so be extra cautious. Dating online is the better option, since you can connect through video, phone, text and email. Face to manage meeting must be delay until after sequestering is done. Bear in mind that, some people will soon be genuine, some bad actors can fake things and mislead you. Deciding to keep yourself safe with social distancing and wearing a mask. Just in case wearing a disguise feels uncomfortable for you personally, deciding ahead of time that you're planning to wear one (you can pick one to complement your outfit, to be artistic, or to produce a statement) means you'll keep yourself safe and shows your date you worry about both of one's health. If you're likely to drink a beverage or eat something, take the mask off for that, and then put it back on. Most places you will go require a disguise anyway. Deciding how much and what you will eat or drink. This prevents drinking too much or eating things that could be wrong for you personally because you are feeling caught off guard on the date. For example, if your date suggests a cafe you're not used to, you could be more comfortable if you know what your food and drink preferences have been in advance.
Deciding not to obtain in a vehicle with someone you only met and don't know well. This implies you won't be subjected to drunken driving, bad behavior or simply plain bad driving with a stranger. Deciding to meet up only in public areas places before you have to be able to get to know the person you're meeting. This keeps you safe, and helps you keep things in bounds. This also can help you social distance and soon you know more about how precisely well this date protects himself or herself, and therefore, you. Deciding when it's OK to possess sex. Knowing beforehand you're not making love until after several dates, you won't be as likely to produce bad decisions when you're emotionally charged.
Deciding setting a spending limit. You need to know how much you're willing to spend before dating someone. If your date has more money, and spends it lavishly you, you will need to allow date know you won't be reciprocating, or that reciprocation will be a homemade meal for a nice restaurant one. The method that you and your date handle money and can discuss money is just a critical component for knowing whether you will end up successful in a relationship. After having a few dates, you are able to discuss finances (for example, you have a great job, but you wish to pay off student loans, or save for a house. Or, you're financially strapped because you just got out of school or various other circumstance.)
Be your own date: Sheltering set up is a perfect time to get to know yourself better. Consider your own personal personality, character and qualities: How do you feel about you? Understanding how to enjoy your own personal company means you will end up more secure and relaxed around others, including potential dates. Use this additional time to develop your style, consider what you would like a date to know about you, and what you want to know in regards to a date. That could be the foundation of your eventual success in dating.
Don't have expectations of a text or call after having a date. You can't control when someone will text you, but you can decide to not text before you get yourself a response. This keeps you from text-stalking your date, and provides you with an opportunity to evaluate how responsive this date is. You need to learn what you're date's response time is, and that also offers you an idea about your date's feelings about you.
Decide how often you want to see each other. You must have a concept of how often you intend to see a new date, but you can also need to consider such things as schedules, and your date's availability. But if you have a notion about how exactly often you'd like to date, at the least at first, you should have something to pass if your date asks. Decide whether you invite them to stuff along with your friends. As I said, in normal times, I recommend obtaining a new date together with friends the moment possible, because friends and family can give you valuable feedback. Do decide to get together for something safe and limited, maybe a video get-together, or a socially distanced meeting, to observe your friends and your date handle each other. How your date handles meeting friends and family can inform you a great deal about your date.
Opt to clarify your communication style. If you want not to text, and want discussions via phone or in person, it's valuable to let your date know this if you were to think future dates really are a good idea. Whether you or your date are willing or in a position to talk while at the office is good to know. Also clarify how often you'd like to contact one another, and whether you would like some notice before being asked out. For instance, several days before rather than on the afternoon your date really wants to get out, unless there is a special reason.
Get clear concerning the commitment you're looking for. This can be a discussion you have with yourself first. If you want a casual dating relationship, without commitment, you need to let your date know, and also probably why you need that. If you want to eventually get married and have kids, you never need to create that up until you have several dates, and see if this has the necessary components to last. Bringing it down too soon is presumptuous, and may be offensive to your date. It's OK to state, "I'm trying to find something serious and lasting" without starting details. When you have young children from a previous relationship, you should also disclose that pretty early. That you do not would like to get trapped in a relationship with an individual who won't like your kids.
Boundaries change as you learn more. Initially, however, set the line pretty high. If your date shows signs of rage, drunkenness, hysteria, rudeness, disrespect (such as leaving you alone and flirting with others) recklessness, and other embarrassing or dangerous behavior, do not be polite or tolerant. Remember, your date is supposed to be on his or her best behavior, and in the event that you tolerate this, it will only get worse. Many people try this backwards, excusing behavior they shouldn't, and getting hurt or upset later. Don't hesitate to leave if you must. If you're driving for both of you, tell your date you will take him or her home immediately. If you're not the one driving, tell your date you wish to be driven home (unless the driver's been drinking too much), and if that doesn't work get home by taxi, friend or relative, ride-hailing service, or public transportation. You need to set things up so you always have the capability to leave. Leave your date, man or woman, at the restaurant, in a club, at a party, or at a video, if their behavior is seriously out of line. This is actually the precise reason you need to be prepared in advance. If the date can be your treat, leave enough money to cover the check, or start to see the waiter before you leave.
Am I Insane for taking taking this role?
Not sure if I'm using the right flair for this. First time poster.
1st interview was with the director of IT, key takeway: he was kind of transparent as they are restructuring the team as they "found something"
2nd interview was with IT engineers, key take away: mentioned all analysts have left, there are no processes in place, this is a sink of swim type role, you will have to put out fires weekly, you will have one thing planned to finish for the week but won't happen with being pulled into another project, don't think I'll be doing anything the job description posted. The interview went over so I was unable to ask any questions but before it ended one of them said "make sure to think if you are the right fit for this type of role".
Now, I do appreciate the honesty from the team. HR called and said I was chosen. Which I was surprised as I couldn't answer some questions. I don't think I'd be a good fit. HR didn't give me an offer and just wanted to set up a time for me to come in. I was very hesitant to accept the job as I'm not sure what I'll be doing or how the work environment is. So when I mentioned I wasn't able to ask any questions at the end of my interview. She said ok well ask away but I wanted to ask the team. She said I'll let you think over the weekend about this role and schedule another appointment with the director.
So I told a friend of mine and he said I was crazy for doing this as "it may make them pull back on the offer". All my other buddies are saying to take this role. "You will get experience from this" "resume booster". Am I insane for thinking I won't gain much experience with a team with no management in a "sink of swim" type role I feel like I'll be fired within 6 months?
How should I go about this? Do I ask go onto asking more questions to the director? Do I take the role and see what happens? My unemployment is running out in a couple months. If I decline the job, will I lose my unemployment for declining a job I don't think I'm qualified for? Seems like everyone ive spoken with says I should take it.
A lot of stuff going on in my head about this. I want to trust my gut after seeing some red flags but idk. Pretty stressed trying to weigh the pros and cons of all of this. What are your thoughts?
Thanks for reading my post!
submitted by /u/IAMAChunkyDunky
from Jobs https://ift.tt/3xuOLnt
Beyond The Darkness
Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: Angst, Relationship Struggles, Self-doubt, Insecurities, Swearing
Genre: Angst with Fluff Ending, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Y/N finally expresses their worries, reluctance and suspicions regarding their relationship with Corpse who is more than surprised to be hearing such confession, thinking their relationship couldn’t be more perfect. Well, perfect on the surface.
Requested by @cinnamonbun332 Hi darling! I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! You asked for some heartbreaking and then heart-healing and I hope I delivered properly. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤
I didn’t choose to be insecure, I never wanted to be so anxious and self-conscious. No one can blame that on me for it’s something I’d get rid of within the blink of an eye if it were that easy. I didn’t choose to fall in love with Corpse either, it just happened. I was taken by storm by the feelings he awoke in me. It was terrifying and made me become a whole different person around him. I was torn between wanting him by my side at all times and never wanting to see him again for the purpose of those feelings dying down. That being said, I can’t be blamed for that either.
However, I can be blamed for one thing: accepting his offer for a date. I didn’t have to. I probably shouldn’t have accepted it just as much as he shouldn’t have brought it up. But, alas, I couldn’t help myself. That storm of emotions, that stirring lava within the volcano I was at the time was dying to seep out to the surface so it wouldn’t burn me from the inside out. Him asking me out on a date was practically the vessel for me to finally have a chance at expressing myself and how I feel and that’s something I’ve never been able to do properly or openly.
But with Corpse it has always been so easy.
Or...it was so easy.
It was easy until I started overthinking everything. Every interaction between us, between him and his friends. Between our two separate worlds.
I now have a hard time seeing us as a union, like we’re living together on the same planet of understanding and companionship. No, we’re more alike two planets in orbits near one another that are close but not close enough. Never destined to touch.
Where I once saw light, I now see nothing. Almost as if I flipped the switch to my happiness myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if I did, it wouldn’t be my first time. I have a way of always finding a way to kill my happiness, put an end to my bliss. The key to doing so is what I already mentioned: overthinking, underestimating, undermining, over-worrying. In short: allowing my mind to torture me.
Sadly, it’s also forcing me to torture others.
At the moment, I’m spending day four back into my apartment, having come back with the excuse that I needed to get some piping fixed in the kitchen and needed to watch over the plumbers as they worked. I think Corpse bought that only halfway but if he didn’t believe me, he didn’t show it and I’m grateful for it. Or at least I think I am. Obviously, there was a part of me which screamed ‘See, he doesn’t care!’ at me when all he said in response to my announcement was ‘Oh, ok’. Of course, I didn’t pay that voice much mind then, but it’s starting to creep back in now and I really don’t know what to distract myself with to avoid hearing it. It’s not like I can internally deafen myself to stop it from eating away at me slowly but intently and with a scary determination that even I myself don’t have. Sadly, the pessimistic side of me does.
Truth be told, I wasn’t planning on staying home alone for four days straight, thinking I wouldn’t be able to make it that long without Corpse, thinking my loneliness would kill me. But, now that I am indeed alone, for some reason, I don’t feel really lonely, if at all. It’s refreshing and new, like a new but old perspective. Basically one I’ve missed for quite some time now without knowing that I did. Who knew going back to my empty apartment would be the cure to my messy head. Well, not a direct cure, but I have managed to map out at least a small portion of what’s going on up there, mend some of the damage I’ve done to myself.
Why do you always do that?
There’s that voice again, and some audacity it has! I’m not doing anything to myself! That voice is!
Saying that in court would easily land you in a mental facility, you know.
I think the reason why this is happening to me at the moment is because it’s been exactly four days since I last contacted Corpse. Or since he last contacted me. See what I’m going for here? See how toxic my mindset can be? Yeah, even I can hardly believe it sometimes. Like, how can something so dark be part of me - someone who used to be so cheerful and bubbly growing up. My nickname used to be ‘sunflower’ for a reason, but I might as well be a wilted willow now.
And who do you have to blame for that?
Will you fucking shut it!!!
As I’m in the midst of yet another self-argument, I near the doorbell ring, scaring me to the point I almost fall off my desk chair. I only then become aware of the blank MS Word document staring back at me. Throwing myself into work hasn’t been able to help me today. Instead of it distracting me from my struggles, it’s the other way around and I can’t fucking stand it.
Just like I’m beginning not to be able to stand myself. How Corpse and my friends do it, I have no idea. Well, they have it easy I guess, they don’t have to hear all the shit that happens in this beehive on my shoulders.
I lazily saunter over to open the door, not even thinking about looking through the peephole prior to turning the doorknob and swinging it open. That’s a mistake, considering that the mess I am is now face to face with Corpse. Let’s be honest, I’m past the point of stressing over how I look in front of him, we’ve been dating for almost a year now after all. However, this look on me right now is beyond disturbing. One that would leave him questioning if I need help or if I’m doing alright. The answer to both of those questions is no, by the way. Yes, to both.
“Corpse?“ I croak out, fighting my way out of the cloud of confusion surrounding me.
“Y/N?“ He replies, mimicking me though his confusion isn’t as much confusion as it is concern. Gotta say - rightfully so.
I shake my head as if awakening from a fever dream, basically hitting the ground head-first, “Um...yeah, uh, come in!” I finally manage to say, forcing my feet to step aside to allow him inside.
He nods and takes a step beyond the doorstep, cautious as though I’ve rigged the place with traps. I mean, ok, I’m weird, but not that weird. I’m not a complete psycho. At least not yet. Give me a few more months by myself. Or weeks.
“I haven’t been here in so long...“ he mumbles, sounding almost as if he’s talking to himself. Before I could say anything, he wanders off into the kitchen, “Where are the plumbers?“
“What plumbers?“ I blurt out, unable to contain the widening of my eyes when I realize what I’ve said.
You. Fucking. Idiot!!!
“The ones you came here to monitor...?“ His answer sounds more like a question as well, both of us just staring at each other as we await what idiocy will leave my brain and come out of my mouth next.
The silence lasts for a few seconds before he breaks it by speaking up again, “There are no plumbers, are there?”
“No, not today! I mean- not right now.“ I resist the urge to smack my forehead with the palm of my hand in embarrassment. “They’ll come back...later! They were here up until an hour ago.“
Real smooth, Y/N. This is why you never play Among Us
Corpse looks around, even taking a peek over my shoulder before making a mock-confused expression as he shrugs his shoulders, “Your kitchen looks pretty tidy for being a place of such complex fixes happening.“
I let out a hysterical gust of laughter, squeezing my thumb so hard I might rip it off my hand, “Yeah, you know me, I like my living space tidy.”
He nods slowly, “Yeah, I know you. I know you’re not.“
The air gets caught in my throat when he eyes meet mine when he says that. I feel redness creeping up my neck, spreading across my cheeks and climbing up to my forehead and ears.
Oh you’d so be ejected right now
“Y/N, what’s really going on here? Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? If so, please just tell me. This silent treatment and avoiding is killing me. If I didn’t come here I would’ve gone insane. You would’ve found my walls with writings on them...“ He stops talking abruptly, letting out a soundless sigh as though his soul left his body, his gaze softening with sadness, “That is, of course, if you were even planning to come back. Ever...“
“Of course I was!“ I exclaim, feeling my chest tighten at the hurt I see in his eyes, “I just...I needed time. I still do.“
“Time away from what?“ He asks, desperate to hear the answer no matter how much it could hurt him.
I honestly don’t know what to tell him. I have no idea what I’m running from. I don’t even know if I’m running, hiding, contemplating, I have no idea what I’m doing. Is he the problem? Am I? Are we the problem? Our relationship as a whole?
“I don’t need time from anything, Corpse. I just...I need some time with myself. With my own thoughts. I’m really torn, have been for quite some time now. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know if I’m doing is the right thing. I don’t know if we are the right thing. I-...“ I buffer for a second, feeling the words start getting more and more tripped up as they climb up my throat. Eventually, they end up getting caught in an invisible net which doesn’t allow them to make it to my mouth, let alone leave it. Now at a loss for words, I let out a sigh of defeat, feeling my eyes welling up with tears, “I don’t know anything, damn it! I’m a mess. Why do you tolerate me? I’m no good to myself let alone to someone else!“
I don’t know where this outburst came from, but I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t relieving. I feel like a popped balloon, letting out what’s been straining me from the inside for a long time now.
Lord knows how Corpse took it, I can’t bring myself to look up at him, but all I know is that I finally did something I can officially deem right.
Suddenly, I feel the familiar touch of Corpse’s hands on my shoulders, pulling my chest flush against his, his arms wrapping around me, enveloping me in a tight embrace. His lips plans a kiss a the top of my head before he rests his chin there, holding me tightly.
“Why haven’t you told me any of this?“ He whispers, his voice emotional to the point of almost making me regret saying all that.
“I didn’t want to worry you.“ I let out a half-hearted chuckle, “And I didn’t want you finding out what kind of nut-job you’re dating.“
He scoffs, “Even if you were a nut-job, Y/N - which, by the way, you’re not - I wouldn’t mind. I’m a nut-job for you. Utterly and completely crazy for you, babe. I’m always here for you, always there for you to talk to me, tell me all that’s going on in that busy head of yours. All you have to do is talk, and all I’ll do is listen.”
I sniff briefly, “Now you’re making me regret not saying it earlier.”
“Then I’m doing the right thing.“ He mutters, his tone suggesting I take the wheel of the conversation and say all I’ve been keeping within me until now.
“You see, I tend to enjoy certain things a lot. Get attached to people super quickly and easily. And then, after a certain period of time, I find myself rethinking and overthinking everything about that thing or person to the point I’m not even sure I like it - or them - anymore. At least not to the same degree as previously. I slowly start become unsure of everything around me, even my own thoughts and feelings. It’s almost like where I used to see light, there’s now darkness. Worst part is, I’m the one who put that light out for myself. I always do it to myself and then hate myself for it. It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t escape - killing my joy and blaming and despising myself for it.“ I sigh, nuzzling my face into his chest, “I just wish this curse avoided our relationship. You’re too good to me, I love you too much to lose you, Corpse.“
I feel his arms tighten their hold on me even more, pulling me even closer despite it not being possible. “Y/N, you can’t lose me. Not over that, not over anything. We all have our demons, you just gotta remember to hold onto me tighter than those demons are holding onto you. You gotta let me help you when you realize you can’t help yourself.” He gently pulls away from me, his hands now coming up to cup my cheeks as he gazes into my eyes, “You gotta learn to see beyond the darkness you surround yourself with. Beyond the darkness, that’s where I’m waiting for you. I’m always gonna be there. I’m a very patient guy, you know.”
I can’t help but laugh, suddenly feeling the bubbly giggles escaping from my chest, pressed out of me by the massive wave of relief that’s washed over my sore insides. Sore from the holding back and now even more so from letting go. But damn does it feel good.
“Looks like I don’t need a plumber but an electrician to fix this light I keep turning off.“ I say, pushing up on my toes to only barely touch my forehead to his. Luckily, he sees what I’m trying to do, so he leans down. “I need him to make it un-turn-off-able.“
Corpse smiles, humming approvingly, “I can help you with that. Starting with...“ and with that he tilts his head, his lips colliding with mine.
I gotta say: damn have I missed this feeling.
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Getting lost in Romania and meeting Mother Miranda (aka Mother Miranda saves you and slowly falls in love with you)
A/N: This was requested by @egirl-lilith there is soft Miranda at the end and use of her pronoun a couple of times
You planned a trip to Romania, it was a rare holiday for you and apparently there was some festival happening
That didn’t happen as you were walking in this tall grass completely and utterly lost. All of a sudden you hear this growl
You don’t think just run as this thing (that looks like a werewolf that didn’t finish its transformation) chases you as you shouted out for help, not qualified to deal with this sort of situation
A flock of crows? Ravens? Suddenly flocked behind you just as you fell over.
“Enough! Go back and I’ll deal with them.” A strict commanding voice says and you turn your head to see a very beautiful women looking down at you, with black wings
The woman introduced herself as Mother Miranda and asked who and how you got here
You explained that you got lost trying to get to a music festival as you begin to stand up
“I think you should come with me. Fortunately my house isn’t that far away and you can tell me about this festival.” Miranda doesn’t usually save outsiders but she wants to hear more about this music festival
Miranda walks you back to her house, sitting you on the couch and checking your body for injuries after that she makes you tea and fixes you with something to eat. You’re bruised but nothing serious and curious about what’s going on
“Was the flock of birds you?” You can’t help but ask before you start to eat as Miranda sits with you.
“Yes.” Her answer is simple and she looks at you. Then her questioning begins, it’s been a long time since she’s left the village and much of the world has changed
Some questions are easier than others and the ones you don’t know you use your portable wifi and phone for. Which is another thing you had to explain to Miranda
She found it all fascinating, listening very carefully as well as watching how you did things. If you were being honest in a way it was kind of cute
Over a few days you shared music with her, taught her how to take a selfie and tell her about yourself. Yet you knew nothing about her, apart from she ran this cult and had 4 ‘children’ which she briefly mentioned
You enjoyed your time with Miranda but you did want to get back to society, surprisingly when you told her you wanted to leave she understood, she walked you out to a safe spot
You thanked Miranda for her hospitality and gave her your number telling her to call whenever she wants
A couple of years pass, you and Miranda keep in touch. After you left, Miranda called you many times and in fact through calls you had become friends, you even visited a few times
On one of your visits Miranda was surprisingly having her wifi set up and asking you how she could work her new smart phone
It was on this visit that Miranda started to fall for you, wanting to be around you more, taking you to meet her ‘children’ which you requested
During the day Miranda was much more touchy, used any excuse to touch you and linger around you
Like when you met Alcina, Angie, Donna, Karl and Moreau. Miranda either had her hand on the small of your back or around your waist keeping you close to her
Not that you minded, as you’ve had a crush on Miranda for years but it did make you flustered
And unlike you, Miranda doesn’t want to accept her feelings for you, sure she wants to be close to you but that doesn’t mean she has a crush on you, she can’t have a crush on you. She thinks it’s ridiculous
So when you go back home why does she suddenly feel lonely and misses you. So much.
It doesn’t help that Miranda wants to text, call and FaceTime you just to stop what she’s feeling but everytime she goes to she ridicules herself telling herself it will go away in a few days
But it doesn’t, so a few days later Miranda arranges a meeting with Alcina, Angie and Donna. Miranda isn’t that intune with her feelings (and isn’t good at expressing them) but this is intense and she needs it to stop so she can concentrate on her experiments and tells them.
Alcina and Donna are quiet looking at Miranda as if this kind of thing was impossible. Angie is the first to speak up “You have a crush dummy!”
Miranda scoffs at the doll “I do not have a crush.” Then she looks at the other two women
“Mother Miranda that does sound like a crush..” Donna softly says
“It’s not a crush. I do not have a crush on y/n. That’s ridiculous.” Miranda firmly denied. Alcina then had a mischievous idea.
“Well if you don’t have a crush on y/n you won’t mind me claiming her for myself.” Alcina casually said. At this Miranda glared daggers at Alcina.
“You will do no such thing! You will not touch her at all!” Miranda shouted and was genuinely upset at the idea of not having y/n.
“I will unless you admit you have a crush on her.” Alcina practically dared her but Miranda still unable to accept her feelings said “I don’t have a crush on her.” With that Alcina stood up “I’ll be sure to come by when y/n next visits.” Then walked away
It was a few months until you visited again. Miranda didn’t forget Alcina’s warning. She was unusually lowkey possessive over you whenever you two went out. Keeping you close with her hand on your waist. She had her guard up
It wasn’t until one night where you were sitting on the couch with Miranda looking over at the results of a new experiment that there was a knock on the door and a familiar voice
“Mother Miranda I brought something for you and y/n.” Alcina said. You stood up and walked up to the door then you suddenly were pulled back into Miranda’s front.
“Miranda what are you-” Miranda had her arms wrapped around your waist and her lips close to your ear.
“Don’t open the door.” Miranda whispers, worried about what will happen if you do. The thought of losing you taunts her
“Why not? It’s just Alcina.” You say very flustered at Miranda holding you this close to her
“She wants to claim you.” The words come out as venom “and I don’t want her to.” She growls
You feel all flustered but you manage to say “I don’t want her to claim me either.” Miranda looks at you with sheer surprise she did not expect that but her worry of losing you disappears
You both tell Alcina to go away and resume your quiet evening, sitting down and this time you snuggle into her side. Which makes Miranda smile.
The next couple of days you spend most of your time with Miranda, brushing your hand against hers, you even kissed her cheek which gets a small smile to grace her lips.
It wasn’t until later that evening where Miranda said she was planning something and told you, you should go visit Donna and Angie for a couple of hours. Not one to argue and excited, you do as your told.
When you come back you see a table set up beautifully with a candle lit and two plates
Miranda looks scared, it’s strange to see the expression on her face
“I made us dinner. Your favourite.” Miranda says as you walk over to her and look her in the eyes.
“Thank you Miranda. What’s the special occasion?” You ask as Miranda holds your hand. Which is a first.
“The special occasion is that… I’m in love with you.” She answers finally admiting her feelings to you and herself. You’re in a state of shock for a moment, Miranda slowly starts to pull away but you pull her back to you and passionately kiss her
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MORE THAN FRIENDS ; d.g.
pairing(s): titans!dick grayson x reader, on-and-off again(?) relationship
warnings: dick in jail (continuing to be angsty but he’s getting better), reader swears like one time, spoilers for titans season two, and an additional warning for the quality of this since i’ve had a draft for this part two in my docs for more than a month now and i decided to scrap the whole thing and rewrite it while im on a plane
a/n: i know its been literally months after i started the part one for this and i’ve unintentionally set up for a part three (which i swear i’ll actually get to this weekend now that i’m out of school and why this is significantly shorter than the part one) but i think its fitting that i mark the summer return of this tumblr with a titans fic now that the SEASON THREE TEASER IS OUT! @capricorn-stark im begging you for jason todd because titans will only give me bread crumbs until august 12th
“My mom still asks about you sometimes, you know,” you admit, before your voice goes into a high falsetto impression of hers. “‘Oh, honey, how’s that Richard boy doing? Are you still dating him? He was so lovely, he was such a nice boy’ - this was a few days ago, actually, she and I had this conversation on the phone.”
A pause as you make a show of formulating your answer with a series of pensive humming and vague shrugging, like you’re pretending she’s actually on the receiving end of the phone pressed to your ear.
“I don’t know, Mom,” you say brightly, making sure to look DIck dead in the eye as you talk, “I think - and gosh, this isn’t any of my business - but I think he’s in jail! Again, not that it’s any of my business as to why he would be in, you know, jail. I think I saw a Kardashian on T.V. do this once, so I’m hoping this is something like that.”
The stare you pinned Dick with upon concluding your skit made it clear that you weren’t accepting any other explanation for the situation you found yourself in at this moment. The man sitting on the other side of the glass was far from impressed.
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”
“I am, actually. I am very funny. It’s a coping mechanism.” And it is, because Dick left Chicago - really left - after he’d come to see you with Jason, and then you hadn’t heard from him in months, let alone knew how he was doing. “I think I have a right to be funny,” you add, because Dick is staring at you with a very unimpressed broody expression that already feels like a personal offence to the comedian side of you, “because the reason you’re sitting on the other side of that glass right now has nothing to do with my sense of humor and everything to do with you assaulting airport officers and getting arrested.”
“You didn’t have to come.” Not for the first time since you’d taken the seat in front of him, you refrained from rolling your eyes.
“You used the one phone call you had to call me,” you pointed out evenly. “After the radio silence I was getting, it was safe to assume that it would’ve been urgent.” Even through the dirty glass, you could see him clench his jaw.
“It wasn’t urgent.” A pause. “There’s nothing you can do about this,” he adds, probably figuring out what your next question is going to be. A real detective, that one. “I didn’t call because I wanted to be bailed out. I just wanted to…” When he doesn’t continue for another few seconds, you shrug.
“See my gorgeous face?” you quip, trying for another strained smile. He doesn’t exactly return it.
“Nobody else would’ve come. I didn’t want anyone else to come.”
“You have a team, Dick. Word on the street’s is that you’re rebranding the Titans.”
“Was,” he corrects, arm tensing as he braces it against the tablespace in front of him. “We’re not… doing that anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter.” For a second, you entertain the idea of smashing the glass through so you can smack him. Maybe it would make this conversation actually go somewhere substantial.
“You called me,” you say, and your voice has a pleading edge to it that you just can’t seem to file down. “So it does matter. And whatever it is that happened - is happening - is enough that you’re behind bars.” Willingly, because if DIck Grayson didn’t want to be someplace, nothing ever really stood in his way. He was a Flying Grayson for a damn good reason. He knew how to fly. “Dick, please. Can you just fucking talk to me?”
There must be something in your expression - it already feels too raw - that makes him soften and lean forwards until his forehead hits the glass with a soft thud. Or maybe it’s the fact that you just swore in front of him, and you barely ever do that as is. He stares at you through his lashes in a way that makes you feel entirely self-conscious and comfortingly at home all at once in its familiarity, and you let out a shuddering breath.
Dick calls your name, then, for the first time since you’d gotten there, and, well. You don’t want to say you melt, per say, but you immediately slump against your chair and have to press the phone connecting you to him to your heart for a second.
That voice. Those eyes. All perfect lashes that you were still jealous of and shades of blue to rival even the most finely cut of lapis lazuli and sapphires.
It’s unfair, the things that Dick Grayson can do to you without really trying. You almost want to scream because of it.
When you lift the receiver to your mouth again, the both of you can hear the tremors in your voice so loudly that they’re practically visible. “I’m here.”
“Yeah,” he breathes out, and selfishly, you feel a brush of satisfaction at the unsteadiness in his voice, too. “You are. You came.” He swallows thickly, then adds, “I called because I knew you would be the only person who would.” The admission makes something in your chest tighten.
“And it had to be you,” he continues, and it’s been so long since you’d seen him let his walls down with you like this, even a fraction of them, that it makes you want to cry. “I - look. It’s not just because nobody else would come. I don’t want them to come. I need you.”
Need, not needed.
By the time he finishes talking - about how he told the team what happened with Jericho, about what happened with Jason, about Slade, about everything - your hand is pressed to the glass in front of you, opposite to his, because it’s the closest you can get to holding his hand. Dick talks a lot, you realize, once he gets going. It’s something you didn’t realize you had sorely missed up till now, because it was something about him you had forgotten. The thought of that makes you sad.
“I would’ve come,” you say, once he finishes. Neither of your hands move. “Jesus, Dick, I would’ve been there if you’d called earlier. When you told them. And I wouldn't have left, either.” The confession hangs in the air between you both. “I won’t leave now.”
“Except you kind of have to,” Dick points out, actually somewhat jokingly as his tone gets significantly lighter. Hell, he’s even smiling at you now. Tentatively, sure, but it’s enough to get the corners of his eyes to crinkle like they do when he’s about to laugh. “Visiting hours and all that. Because I’m in jail.”
“Wow, Dick,” you deadpan, biting back a laugh of your own. “Is that what was happening here? I hadn’t noticed. I literally had no idea-”
“Oh, you really think you’re funny, don’t you?” he interjects, an echo of his earlier words on a completely different spectrum. “Got myself a stand-up here.” And then he sobers up again, going back to regarding you with a seriousness that makes you start to sit up again. The smile doesn’t fade, though. “I know I’ve been asking you to do a lot. I’ve been asking you to come - to be here - and now I need to ask you to wait. For me.” His brows furrow, a crease forming between them that you would’ve kissed away years ago. “I don’t know how long I’ll be in here-”
“Dick,” you interject, raising an eyebrow at him, “you’ll be in here until you get your head out of your ass. And respectfully, I’m saying this with love, really, but that’ll only take as long as you want it to. These days, it sounds like it’ll take awhile.” Dick stares at you. The corners of his lip twitch.
“With love, huh?” Of course that’s what he settles on. You roll your eyes at him instead of rising to the obvious bait, and start getting up.
“I’ll be waiting, Not-Boy Wonder. Who knows what you’ll be getting when you come out?”
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i just feel like because i was never thin, was never even anything more than a toe under the “obese” bmi category (and i KNOW that bmi is shit and not a measurement of worth), that i just... failed. like i did all of that, lost everything, and for what? lost my job, lost my time, lost my gallbladder, lost my sense of self, my identity, my sense of self-worth, my health, and for what? i didn’t even get close to even looking normal, let alone even looking good. i still have all those thinspo pictures saved on my pc and phone and i look at them and then me and it’s like we’re a different species.i fucking failed! and now here i am, putting myself through the hell of recovery, gaining weight because i’m making up for two years of resctriction and my set point is higher and i’m using constant over-eating as a form of self harm and self sabotage because i really want to relapse.... and for fucking what??
it just kills me, i want to be acceptable so fucking bad but i still see myself in the mirror and like... i hate it! i hate myself!! i think i look horrific! i still don’t know who or what i am, and now i just pressed a fucking key on my keyboard and something happened and i can’t undo it, because my fucking hands are so FAT right now, they look like i’ve got overstuffed sausages for fingers, and i just want someone to tell me “it’s okay, i give you permission to relapse” but no one is going to do that and no one should because i’ll fucking end up killing myself with this shit! i want to fuckign scream!!!
all i’ve eaten today is an iced coffee and an ice cream and i feel like such a fucking horrific piece of shit for eating them because they were sugary and that is BAD but also good because hey, that’s all i’ve eaten. and maybe i’m going for a 6 mile hike this afternoon, but honestly i probably shouldn’ because i feel this way and i still haven’t eateng jhsdfkjhsdfkjdsh i want to fucking stop everything, i want to just sleep for 50 yearsd and wake up in my 70s and then die the next day of natural fucking causes. i HATEa this
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With endings, comes full circle arcs
Hey! I finally got around to actually watching Atypical, instead of skipping to the gay parts lol. Anyway, I think what makes a good ending is characters getting their full circle moment, things that stumped them from the start, or that has always been a consistent obstacles for them. Here are my hopes for season 4.
Paige is a character who constantly puts up this front of ‘everything will be fine, you just have to put a smile on your face’. It was nice to see her confront that things can turn out to be the worst of our expectations in season 3. Her relationship with Sam opened her up to the opportunity of being honest, of course this makes sense given Sam’s honesty. I also think Paige would start to take more risks.
Zahid went through a really intense period in season 3 with Gretchen the worst. I think two things could happen. Zahid defines his life around sex most of the time and I think we could see a side of him that doesn’t prioritise this for once. Like, either he thinks he doesn’t really need that stuff because he has his friends and family, or that he finds a Gretchen the best.
Doug is such a cool dad man. Him and Evan’s relationship will continue to blossom and I think that is good for both of them in a really weird way. I don’t mean to sound rude but Evan is the son he could do all the things with he couldn’t do with Sam. For Sam, Doug is also the dad Evan’s dad was never. He takes responsibility for his faults in how Elsa and him grew apart to lead Elsa to cheat but still makes it clear it was wrong.
Although I root for Cazzie, I still very much adore Evan. He is such a nice guy and it made me so happy he didn’t make it weird about Casey exploring her feelings for a girl. We will see him where we thought he wouldn’t be in s1 tbh, the EMT still part of the Gardner family circle in a way. I think he will stay true to his character and support Cazzie if they go ‘public’. I would also like to see him reconcile with his Dad and that his Dad isn’t such a huge dickball still.
Whilst we despise Elsa, it is incredibly difficult to dislike a character who makes mistakes but owns them and seeks to rectify them. She had a little bit of a hiccup but I see her truly and painfully letting go of her kids and in this way, her and Doug will really need each other. She will come to understand that while she is no longer needed, she is still wanted. I think her relationship with Casey has so much of a role in the story. I hope they both realise how much alike they actually are and I think it’ll play an even bigger role in Casey’s storyline.
I’m glad that the trailer is showing that we will be exploring her family and background much more, this will allow us to see what holds her back and what has caused her to internalise homophobia and have a somewhat doubtful and low self-esteem. I don’t think she will be going to UCLA with Casey and that will test them. But what I find beautiful about w|w relationships is that although it requires a bigger fight against all the obstacles that it’ll make their love even stronger.
My fave has a lot of shit going on. I think training for UCLA will really challenge her and at some points she will really doubt her abilities and constantly question whether or not ‘taking on’ a relationship alongside training was worth it. Something I noticed throughout the show is that I feel like deep down even though she is surrounded by so much love she deeply fears it and is afraid of accepting it from others. There is a link to Sam always been ‘chosen’ but I think she will finally be able to have that, especially with ‘coming out’.
Sam has grown so frickin much! Moving out will be really, really difficult and I think that will cause all of his relationships to be challenged. Honestly, I have no idea what he will do when he graduates but it will obviously have something to do with Antartica. For some reason I am sensing art therapist? Seeking independence has been an important part of his arc so I think this will be central to his story, he also seems to dislike asking for help but I think he will become confident in his independence but enjoy asking for help.
Idk what will happen in s4 and im kinda scared but I know I will cry at the end.
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So I started taking notes while playing the game because Ya Girl is going to write more fanfic and, as much as I love not listening to canon, I do want to draw from it at least a LITTLE instead of relying on my half-baked memories, so...here's a selection of that, AKA stuff I wanted to say before tumblr ate my post.
Also, I may end up beating both games again before I really work on/post anything, I feel like there's a lot I didn't pick up on that I actively want to integrate into the fics.
> Thought: during her video message to Ethan, Mia glances off-camera a few times with what seems like frustration before saying she can’t wait to be done with this baby-sitting job and come home to him; maybe Eveline is the thing she’s glancing at and Eveline overheard, which contributed both to a) her misbehaving later and developing a worse fixation on starting a family and b) her knowing about/targeting Ethan since Ethan makes Mia happy?
> If the creepy-ass house wasn’t already a shock to Ethan’s system, hearing Mia call Jack “Daddy” with no context definitely was, lmao.
> Ethan’s under-reactions, and the fact that his first question is what are you Mia, are I think in-universe attributable to the fact that he lives in a world where zombies are like, real and stuff. Even if he was never personally affected by the many bioterrorism incidents before Dulvey, he knows this shit can happen, and it’s an understandable first assumption to jump to. (Still a bit funny that he’s so calm but I guess he’s just built different.)
> Actually the thought that Ethan Winters is, on a psychological level, absolutely fit to fight B.O.W.s and probably would’ve made a great BSAA agent but just is not interested and wants to go back to being a wife guy with a tech job is inherently hilarious.
> Note to self: further explore the trauma Ethan must’ve felt after oh y’know KILLING HS OWN WIFE TWICE after she attacked him and cut his hand off.
> Okay so Ethan must’ve either been infected with the Mold while wandering around the guest house or was infected with it after he got skull-stomped, because he briefly regains consciousness while being dragged to the main house and then inside as Zoe is stapling his hand back on. Her telling him “don’t die on us yet” would imply she didn’t know, or that he was still initially unstable but recovered?
> I wonder if the reaction of “he’s not eating it” is just Marguerite overreacting because of the psychological strain she’s under, or if Ethan’s refusal to eat what I ASSUME is people is indicative of him having reacted differently to the Mold and therefore not being “one of them” just yet. (Edit from later in the gameplay: It’s definitely human meat.)
> Asking why Mia won’t just “accept her gift” – Mia resisting the mind control up until that moment, I assume? She would’ve already been infected by the Mold since she didn’t y’know. Die when Ethan put an axe in her neck and shot at her a lot. So the Mold isn’t necessarily the gift.
> “You’re the first I’ve ever seen make it this far.” How many times has Zoe tried this??
> “As long as you’re not too far gone.” Funny story, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of logic behind this. I remember a Connections file talks about how you can use the serum if you're "fast enough", but Mia has been infected for about three years and was cured fine...so maybe it depends on if you've sunk under her mind control? (Might also be the reason Ethan seemed fine for as long as he did, since he was never really under her control he just got the mutagenic perks but none of the crazy.)
> “I can only remember a little and the rest is just gone” – okay so entirely possible she still has memory gaps even after remembering her part in what happened with Eveline—exploit for fic reasons.
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First, I think there are about 100 other, obvious reasons why Elriel is endgame and there are so many great posts on that.
This post is simply my thoughts on truth teller scene and it’s implications for the future, particularly, Elriel’s endgame. I often think about how there simply isn’t a way to have this same or similar type of scene, with its level of importance, with a new love interest. And I think that should be a comfort to some people and a red flag to others.
Sarah made it a big deal that Azriel gave Elain truth teller. Noted he had never given it to *anyone* before (or after, so far) Elain. Noted multiple characters’ shocked and stunned reactions. Noted how Feyre could see the painting (something she does for important things in this series). Sarah requested this scene be in her coloring book. It’s a big deal because Sarah made it one. Full stop.
It is clearly significant in some way for these two characters. The act of giving and accepting truth teller can/does show so much about these two: He trusts her, he cares about her, he wanted her safe, he felt seen/chosen/accepted by her when she accepted the knife after turning down another, she trusted him enough to use it, she accepted it because it was his and he makes her comfortable, he made her feel safe and brave enough, he made her feel seen and knew what she needed to hear in that moment, etc.
People can try to downplay it all they want, but if it was nothing, it would have happened before with Azriel and *literally anyone else.* he’s had 500 years and thousands of dangerous situations with people he cares about, but he’s never given it to anyone else. And Sarah made sure to tell us that in several different ways.
I also think it sets up (foreshadows?, though I’m not sure that’s the right word either) how Azriel’s endgame will be Elain.
Do characters who 1) share a moment or scene like this; 2) then become friends and 3) then develop romantic interest and sexual attraction to each other, usually not end up together? I can’t think of any who don’t end up together but can think of several who do.
Let’s say, quite illogically, that after one year and all this, Azriel just says nevermind Elain, I’m done with you and am going to switch gears ro character X. In addition to being super out of character for him, it would be hard to erase or override the significance of the truth teller scene in my eyes with a new love interest.
Azriel and character X could *never* have the truth teller scene together. Because it already happened with Elain. It can’t happen again because that would be bizarre, inconsistent, and lazy story telling. More importantly, it would erode the significance of the scene with Elain (which *Sarah* made significant in her writing), and it wouldn’t be nearly as significant for character X as it otherwise may have been. She will never be the first person in 500 years that he gave the knife to. And if he never even gives it to character X, then it continues to make the giving of truth teller to Elain feel special, important.
It may seem silly to think that this scene and act could be a hurdle to a relationship with someone other than Elain. Maybe not in real life, but logistically, practically, in this story, it would be. Sarah has made a big deal out of truth teller throughout the series and in connection with Azriel obviously. In order to put Az in a new relationship in the next book, Sarah would have to completely erase Azriel and Elain’s clear interest and attraction to each other that has building over multiple books and is known to at least two other characters (Rhys and Nesta), and somehow retcon/diminish the importance of his and Elain’s interactions, specifically truth teller. All of these things collectively would be hard to do, logistically and in terms of the main plot. And I personally think the truth teller issue would be a major challenge.
It doesn’t feel like there is a way to get over Elain, not have her be completely heartbroken, diminish their history, and also give another female character a same or similar truth teller moment while somehow downplaying the moment with Elain. Personally, I don’t think there’s any way that will happen. ❤️
*Amending this to also add another Elain-only consideration. Sarah seems to be giving each main couple a house in Velaris. I don’t see anyway Sarah gives the last house, the Townhouse, to any woman other than Elain. That’s the house that she started to heal in. That’s the house that she made her friends in. That’s the house that she made her first fae life garden in. That garden is still there and it’s simply not about to be taken from her and given to someone else that does not have the same connection to it. Sorry!*
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10 Reasons Abraham Lincoln Would Be Great At Gwangju Restaurant
Try this: hug a person. Then hug someone and determine how much you love them. Hold them quite longer. Sense that? THAT could be the love which isn't there for you at any time, and accessible in order to whenever you it. Can result in you are not with individual. Even inside your don't obtain that person. Despite the fact that you just need to have that person. It starts from within you.
Thankfulness is really a powerful expression of your love for life. Turn yourself best more grateful person. Regularly contemplate close to the things have got experienced that you can be grateful for today.
If we fall into Sleep, the grip of Hypnos and into Love, the embrace of Eros; then do we too fall from Island? It is said that the wage of sin is Death. We pay this wage to Thanatos. Then we spend our time with Hades, god of the UnderWorld.
If we don't know God's love for us, then we live in SELF, and our vain attempts to obtain the passion for God such as what we do: our performance. It is vital always motivated by laws and principles.
We learn mostly through example. Could be osmosis. Using see and experience with your family's behavior and beliefs is drilled and branded into your brain, cells and skin. Your body can ache, your bones can rupture because of the beliefs happen to be taught about love. I have been taught that you simply stay, even when you hate the other, even your current products are lonely, alone and angry, you remain. You stay even are going to damages your self-esteem and worth. Soon, you can never predict where individual ends and the other begins---so you stay---questioning your in order to happiness and individuation. Many . the pattern of physical or mental abuse. You stay because it is familiar, loyal and drummed in to your brain.
I am not suggesting for a person to be conceited, vain or let your ego run wild, but i am suggesting taking good way yourself and deciding an individual worth caring. I am suggesting, deciding that you deserve to think kind thoughts of yourself, for in order to think and know you are good . When you accept yourself and love yourself you undoubtedly have more love to supply others that is maybe able to receive more love from other. Allow the energy of love to envelope and also your decide that you may take a pace towards loving yourself more today than you did yesterday.
Making yourself easier to is a very essential quality if you are looking for love. Very because we're not going to share to you or obtain will to approach you if you are approachable. 광주건마 are encouraging done through direct eye contact and developing a great beam. Traits that are often unseen by women whom want love arrive up and talk inside. Men commonly wait for eye contact from the women they set their eyes on before approaching them, and a smile from them can set them comfortable and all of them with the boldness they need to approach your sweetheart. Making yourself easy in order to chat to is a very necessary habit to operate on if you happen to looking for love.
God may be the Author and Source involving most love and goodness - every small bit of it! He wants showing His lovingkindness to you, (Eph. 2:6-7); however, need to receive His gifts.
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Devotion: 3, 7, 19 + 20. 19 and 20 go together this is totally like sending 3 please and thank yooouuuu
Honda: hey man. when are you going to tell Anzu you have a crush on her
Jounouchi: what, what, waht, what, what, what, waht, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, wh
this got long, it’s under a cut LOL
3. Most common argument?
Considering how many times Anzu in the manga is like “DON’T SAY THAT!!” whenever he makes a particularly callous comment, I want to say they might get into a little snit or two every now and then over a comment that’s a little too outré for Anzu’s sense of propriety and it devolves into conversations about like, tact and tasteful jokes. If Jounouchi’s having a more cantankerous and closed-off day than usual over something that went wrong, I can also see him trying to brush off her more aggressive expressions of care as “annoying” (she isn’t annoying, but he just wants to sulk for a while) when most of the time he actually DOES appreciate and value and need her gung-ho, “let’s roll our sleeves up and fix this” attitude. The other thing is that like... Anzu’s dream is to be a dancer in New York, that’s a difficult career in an expensive city; I can see him bristling against accepting financial help from her parents and maybe being a little too tied to concepts of what it means to be a “man” like “what’s wrong with me if I can’t provide for you on my OWN” and she doesn’t have his kind of pride here. she’s like “that doesn’t matter to me. Why does this matter to YOU so much?” and they have to figure that out.
7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?
Is it possible for Anzu to get MORE defensive of Jounouchi? LET’S FIND OUT. Also, and this is my Ideal Devotionship Scenario, is that one day Anzu looks over at Jounouchi and realizes she’s almost always liked him as a person but he’s also matured SO much and he works so hard and he genuinely cares so much about all his friends and everyone he loves and his goofier jokes do make her laugh like a hyena... she starts relying on him more as a sounding board for her thoughts and feelings, and starts hanging out with him more just one on one, separate from the rest of their friends...
But really I think Jounouchi if he realizes he’s in love with Anzu he 1) starts trying to impress her more and get her attention and 2) probably has a very specific idea of the type of guy he thinks Anzu would like, and THAT Guy uses a daily planner to keep track of things (like a nerd) and doesn’t slack off on his laundry, and is cool without being a clown, so he is, for a hot few weeks, an awkward and fumbling but exuberant mess who insists on carrying her groceries and buys a polo shirt and tries to play it extremely cool but also he’s like “so... notice anything different about me?” and Anzu is like “....your hair is..... more tousled than normal” (she’s into it) and he’s like 😭 polo shirt it’s the polo shirt i am wearing a polo shirt 😭 like Jounouchi... bro... what Anzu likes about you has nothing to do with polo shirts (this is what Honda tells him after he unpacks the whole thing over text in a state of despair) anyway he just needs to chill out a little. once she realizes what he’s doing she has to laugh a little, but she also loves the effort, it’s cute
In combination, that’s how Anzu ends up texting him at 11 PM at night like “hey i’m bored do you want to go get ramen” and he is like “absolutely, see you in 10 min” so off they go for a late night walk together, and it’s raining a little and he holds the umbrella as they talk about nothing and everything. he makes a big show of helping her step or jump over every gutter puddle. he thinks he’s being suave but she just finds it kind of adorable
Eventually one of them just comes out and confesses it, and it doesn’t take long for this to happen. Probably Anzu because Jounouchi seems like the type to worry a little over the thought of getting rejected :(
19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? AND 20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?
The first people Jounouchi tells are Shizuka and Honda, of course, and Honda is just like, delighted. He loves Anzu, obviously, but he also cares sooooo much about Jounouchi and is just kind of secretly relieved that Jounouchi is dating someone who cares just as much about Jounouchi as he does, and is good to Jounouchi and good FOR Jounouchi. I’m pretty sure both Anzu and Honda would kill for Jounouchi lol. Shizuka just wants to know that Anzu isn’t into any of the freaky magic shit from Battle City, and once suitably reassured, she gets excited about the idea of having a cool big sis <3
Anzu’s family finds him very charming and earnest. They like him. I think they trust Anzu to be responsible and have good judgment and so they’re more than happy to give Jounouchi a chance, although he is SO nervous about meeting them.
And then Yuugi... they tell him together, probably. Whether or not he has any lingering crush on Anzu, how can he begrudge his two best friends falling in love with each other, how could he NOT be happy for them? I don’t think he’s capable of being salty about it at ALL, he’s thrilled lol
Atem: by the way, jounouchi and anzu are dating now
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(Requested By Anonymous: reader fem is not worthy of the love of nuada and decides to break up with him, because she is only a mere mortal, a weak being and still a human being, and he is the ONE prince (king in fact with the death of his father) of royalty , but not accepted and confronted by the reason for this decision (you decided the end) (little anguish never hurts. )
(A/N): This is part 2 of this request I hope you guys enjoyed the previous and would also enjoy this one as well!
Word Count: 3,841
Nuada made his way through the corridors ignoring those who bowed to him as he did his best to hurry to you, he felt guilty for leaving you all day and so he decided to bring you a gift in the form of a necklace with a single blue gem that when placed under any light it would show small glittering lights like a starry night. He believed you deserved more but remembering how you told him you didn't want any more flashy jewelry, so he brought you one a bit simpler. When he finally reached the doors of his chambers he paused and let the air settle around him…it was quiet… he couldn't sense any movement from the room, feeling his worry starting to build up, Nuada decided to enter, excusing the stillness for you being asleep already, but his eyes darted to the bed he couldn't find you.
“(Y/n)?" He called you thinking you were in the attached bathroom.
When he heard no answer he started searching the entire room searching for you, but he found no trace of you. He felt his heart drop when he noticed that all the items you came here with were gone, leaving only all the gifts that he had brought for you. Not even thinking twice Nuada hurriedly made his way to where the human agents are, thinking… no, HOPING that you were there with them and that all your belongings were there as well for some reason. He didn't bother to knock as he slammed the doors open making everyone inside jump in an alert but he ignored them as he searched the room for you. "Hey, man what the hell?" Called one of them.
"Where is she?" Nuada asked, glaring at the human as if he was hiding you personally.
"Where is who?" He replied confused.
"(Y/n)!" The prince almost yelled at him as he held the man by his collar making those around him surround him in concern.
"Where is she?"
"She left!" One of the others said hurridly, which made Nuada freeze before letting go of the man to turn to the other making him flinch thinking he was next but Nuada was a bit too shocked to care for killing them, needing answers.
"Yeah… hours ago." He continued to explain. "She came to us and asked us to call HQ to send someone to fitch her."
"Why?" The prince asked in utter confusion.
"She probably got enough from all the abuse." The one who he was holding a moment ago guessed, That made Nuada see red as he turned to him ready to kill.
"How dare you accuse me of harming her!" He was about to march towards him to confront him but another stood in his way.
"He didn't mean, he meant the others!" He quickly assured, Nuada raised a brow in confusion.
"What others?" He asked.
The men looked at each other as if not sure that he was actually unaware of his people's abuse of them, and when they saw that he was being sincere they proceeded to tell him everything that has been happening since day one. The other Elves have been treating them badly whenever Nuada was not looking, during the Balls the servants would ignore them when they tried to ask for a drink, and the nobles would look down on them as they gossiped about them in earshot on how humans are disgusting and horrible creatures. When Nuada isn't there to join them for any of the three meals they wouldn't be served any, which explains why they brought their own snacks and food. There were nice Elf servants and maids who wanted to provide them with food and other comforts but once they do that they would be stopped by a higher elf who'd say
"We don't serve filth".
Nuada was angry for many reasons. First, his people have tarnished their reputation of hospitality by mistreating his personal guests. Second, they have been lying to him and pretending to do their best to bring them great comfort. And third and most importantly, they forced you away from him until you finally return home without him even knowing. Gods knew what did they do or say when he isn't around, were there more incidents that he wasn't aware of besides the one he caught during the ball.
After learning the truth told the human agents to call the HQ again and tell them that they would be returning early and so send someone to pick them all up as soon as possible. It didn't take long for his advisors to storm his chambers as he prepared to leave. Them begging and reminding him of all the work that is left to do and how it was wrong for him to leave so soon, but he replied by how it was also wrong of them to mistreat his guests for so long and abuse his love, which shut them up… well, most of them at least. "We should be relieved that she is gone, so you may focus on finding a proper bride of a pure Elf descend." Said the higher Elf, which leads him to be stripped of his title thrown in the dungeons until Nuada returns to deal with him personally.
"Where is she!" Exclaimed Nuada making Manning flinch and scot away in his chair hoping to escape the Elf's wrath.
"Brother please…" Said Nuala as she came beside him hoping to calm him down.
After his return, Nuada went to look for you but you weren't in your shared room and again all your personal belongings were gone, he again tried to search for you around the base, which tracked the attention of Hellboy and everyone else who told them they haven't seen her or knew she had returned in the first place, and it leads them to march into Manning's office who told them that you asked for immediate transferring.
"I…I can't tell you where." Stuttered manning. "Those kinds of information are confidential."
"Listen, Manning, the guy wants to see (Y/n)…" Said Hellboy. "She might be in danger, isn't it strange to you that she just up and left like that?"
Manning gave all of them a weird look before replying.
"Didn't you guys break up?" He asked Making everyone's eyes widen as they turned to Nuada who was also shocked and unaware.
"Break up?" He repeated, Manning nodded.
"Yeah, She came here saying how the two of you broke up and it would be weird to still work beside you so she asked to be sent somewhere else…" He explained as he reached for a drawer taking out an envelope and giving it to Nuada. "She told me to give you this."
The prince hesitantly took the blank envelope and opened it. Inside you only said how you can't be with him anymore and that you needed to be away from him, that you needed space, that you couldn't be around him anymore. It was short, it was simple, it was heartbreaking for Nuada. But he couldn't accept it.
"Where is she?" He asked again, his voice calm.
"Sorry, it is private information." Answered Manning.
"Where did you send her?" the elf asked again.
"I can't tell you." Said Manning in a tired tone, but flinched when Nuada slammed his fist on the table as he glared at the old Human.
"TELL ME WHERE IS MY (Y/N)!" The elf prince screamed, which caused Hellboy to hold him back forcing him out before he could launch at their boss and cause trouble. Nuada struggled under Hellboy's hold, demanding to be let go so he may extract the information of your whereabouts from Manning.
"Unhand me!" Screamed Nuada but Hellboy won't let go.
"Calm down first!" Replied Red.
"How can I stay calm when (Y/n) left me without even saying goodbye!" After saying that he stopped struggling making everyone look at him in concern then to each other, silently asking each other what they should do. They all knew of his plan to propose to her in their trip back to Bethmora Clan, which went horribly wrong. Hellboy slowly let the elf prince go so he can stand on his own feet, he still was not looking to anyone as he lost himself in thoughts.
"I don't understand…" He said. "Was it because of how she was treated by the clan?... Or maybe it was me? Maybe I did or said something that upset her… Upset her enough that she would be willing to leave me…"
Nuada looked down into his own hands trying to answer his own questions, but he can't come up with anything. The only thing that could make sense is his people's poor treatment of her, but knowing you it didn't make sense of you leaving. He felt a pat on his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts.
"It's alright buddy, I'm sure we will find her." Assured Hellboy with a grin, making Nuada's eyes slightly widen in surmised delight.
"But how can we do that?" Asked Abe. "All personal pieces of information of even previous agents are confidential."
"We will find a way." Replied Red confident. "Stealing a secret location of (Y/n) wouldn't be as hard, Besides we are doing this for our friend to get his girl."
Nuada was shocked by the determination of the demon but happy nonetheless to have him as a friend and ally through these times.
"Thank you, Hellboy." He said with a nod of respect, which irritated him.
"I told you to call me Red." He reminded before pushing him forward to the library as others followed, speaking of the plan he already had in mind.
Nuada was touched, to say the least, relieved that these people around him are now his friends rather than enemies. But the feelings of guilt, anxiousness, and worry are still there, hoping that you were alright, that you'd still take him back when he finds you, or at least know the true reason of why you left.
It has been almost 2 years since you had left and a lot had happened.
He learned that the High elf who angered him was the reason why you left. He made the woman who harmed you pay for her abuse, by taking away her title and serve as a lower maid. He replaced the advisors who served his father before him with those who were more open-minded to the idea of him or Nuala having partners who aren't part of the clan or even Elves. It was difficult but thanks to the P.B.R.D help and other Elves who were already open to the humans, he made his people see humans in a different light, and although some still refuse to accept them and only pretend to be nice around him, they are not as many as they used to.
Nuala and Abe are now engaged, which he shouldn't have been shocked about but he was nonetheless. He congratulated them in his own way, by threatening Abraham to leave him under the scorching heat of the dessert if he hurt Nuala in any way. However, the two of them refused to get married until they find you so they would celebrate properly, but he knew they pitied him and didn’t want to celebrate a happily married couple while he was still searching for the one he wanted to marry. He tried to convince them otherwise but they won't budge. And he didn't say it but He was grateful. Finally, after so long, Hellboy managed to get your location, he didn't listen to the details of how he did it, all he knew is that inside this file in his hands was where you were.
Which leads to this very moment.
He was standing in front of your apartment door right after landing in (C/n), in full disguise from human eyes, of course. Nuada felt understandably anxious, and the "What if" questions started to plague his mind again. debating if he should turn around and leave you to the life you have chosen. But he shook his head from those thoughts and reminded himself that he won't force you to return to him, that if you still rejected him he will respect your choices, but he still deserved an explanation first so he may continue with his life. And with those final thoughts, he pressed the doorbell and waited. He could hear shuffling from the other side and when you called "In a minute!" his anxiety rose for it was the first time he heard your voice aside from the videos he kept watching over the 2 years.
"Sorry to keep you waiting-" You said as you opened the door but froze when your eyes landed on him. He could see the disbelieve in your eyes of him being here right now.
"Hello, (Y/n)…" He greeted, doing his best not to stutter, after hearing you call his name. "It's been a while."
Before meetings you Nuada had prepared many lines to say when he finally meets you and "It's been a while" wasn't one of them, making him want to hit himself in the head for it. But you didn't seem to care as the shock of seeing him was still weighing on you. The both of you stood there, staring at each other in silence. He examined your appearance noting every little change of detail you obtain in the past 2 years, he also noticed you fidgeting in your place wanting to move but he couldn't know if it was to or away from him. The silence broke when a distant sound from inside called.
"Mama!" A child's voice called, making her instinctively turn her head around to it, breaking his heart at the same time.
"Y… You have…a child?" He asked the distress clear in his voice. You turned to him the panic in your eyes confirmed his answer.
"So you moved on." He stated as he looked down at his own feet, memories of the two of you being together flashed in his mind, as he yearned for those times to be back again when you belonged to him and only him.
"N..Nuada I can explain." You said quickly but he moved away from your reach.
"There is no need for explanation." He said firmly. "I came here to get an answer, and I got it… I hope you have a good life.”
He was about to turn and leave but you reached in time to stop him by holding his arm.
"No!" You said. "Please don't leave!"
You plead and he didn't have it in him to just shake your hand away, because despite it all he still loved you. Before any of you could say anything more, a child's cry echoed in the air, making both of you remember the child inside. You looked inside your home before looking back at him.
"Please come inside." You requested. "And I promise to explain everything."
Any other person would walk away after learning of their beloved's betrayal, but again, he still loved you dearly to refuse you and so he walked in behind you. You let go of his arm after closing the door, hurrying to ease your child's distress. He slowly followed you looking around your apartment searching for any sign of your partner but it's either you cleaned recently or that he was losing his touch because he didn't find anything.
"There there, Mommy is here don't cry." You cued sweetly from the kitchen.
Nuada followed your voice and his eyes widened by what he saw. You were bouncing a toddler in your arms to calm them but that wasn't what shocked him, the child had both pale hair and skin like himself and when the kid noticed him and opened his eyes, he saw that they were as golden as his own. The only difference is that his face was shaped slightly like your own. The child, like himself, was fascinated by his appearance, probably never seen someone of his kind before. He was drawn out of his thoughts by your small chuckle.
"I'm a bit amazed…" You confessed. "He was never too good with new people, would always throw a tantrum if they got too close."
"Is…Is he…" Nuada was lost for words as his eyes darted from you to the toddler in your arms.
"Let's set down first, and I will explain everything for you." You promised and he complied.
The both of you sat down across from each other, you sat the child beside you and gave him a toy to keep him entertained as you talked, Nuada couldn't keep his eyes off the kid, feeling pride in being a father of your child, but also frustration for not learning about him sooner. You stayed quiet for a while, struggling to find the proper words to explain yourself which he allowed.
"Before you jump to conclusion, Yes, He is your child and No, he wasn't the reason why I left." You explained. "I didn't even know I was pregnant until a month after my transfer here."
"Why?" Was the only question he could ask, as his brows furrowed in sadness. He wanted to follow it with many questions, why did you leave him? Why didn't you tell him of your pregnancy when you learn about it? why did you continue you keeping it a secret taking away the pride and joy of fatherhood? Why, why why?!
"I…" You bit your lip as your lower your gaze in shame. "I didn't deserve you."
"What?" He asked with a raised brow in confusion.
"I..I didn't deserve you." You repeated. "Through my entire life people left me because I wasn't good enough, including my family and… past lovers, and when you came into my life I thought that you would be the same, that you will see the wrongs in me and leave to search for a better partner, someone that you deserved."
"But you stayed…" A small sad smile graced your face, but you still didn't look at him. "You stayed by me, picked me up when I felt down, build up my confidence from scratch, made me feel worthy of love and care."
"Because you are!" He interrupted making you flinch at his angry tone. "You are worthy of love and so much more, how dare you think otherwise."
Your eyes started to tear up a little bit at the sincerity in his voice despite his anger, which wasn't because of you but your child, however, thought otherwise as he reached to you his lower lip quivering.
"Mm ..Mama.." He called and you had to put up a smile despite your tear and pull to your lap to comfort him. Nuada seeing that forced himself to calm down.
"I was happy with you Nuada." You assured him as you looked into his eyes. "I really was."
"Then why did you leave?" He finally asked. You averted your eyes to the child in your lap.
"Your people hated me." You confessed. "they didn't like me from the first moment I walked in by your side, their words made me remember how I was not good enough for you, how no matter how much love you show to me it was probably out of petty, more awful thoughts plagued my mind and when…When I learned of your plans…"
"My plans?" He asked, a small blush crossed your face.
"You plans to … propose to me." You clarified. "How did you learn about that?" His eyes were wide with shock. You stayed quiet and that did settle well with him. "Who told you?"
You but your lip as you pretended to busy yourself with the child in your hands. That didn't go past him, as he remembered something.
"It was my previous advisor, wasn't it?" He stated more than asked.
"Previous?" You asked which confirmed his suspicion making a mental note to make him pay further when he returns.
"Yes, I learned that he was the one who was spreading false rumors about the humans treatment of me, making them hate every human I bring as a guest, and the other nobles didn’t make it easy either."
His last statement made you instinctively reach to your ear, and that made his anger rise as you obviously were still affected by the harsh treatment you face. A small outburst of gibberish pulled you both out of your thoughts, it was your child who held up his toy up to you want to play. A warm look crossed his eyes as he watched you comply, making silly noises and kissing his chubby cheeks causing him to let out a small screech of laughter. Nuada stood up and made his way to the both of you both, he knelt in front of you and offered his hand to the child, who looked to him in confusion then back to his hand and curiously placed his own pale soft chubby hand to Nuada's rough ones. The elf prince silently asked you if he could carry him, and you simply nodded. The child either was too distracted by the similarity of skin tone or he simply didn't mind being carried by him. Nuada stared for a long time at his son feeling great pride as any father would.
You watched as both of them interacted and you couldn't help the joy as few tears escaped yours. Nuada notices and he reaches out and cups your cheek wiping away your tears and when your eyes met you smiled warmly to one another, not able to hold back anymore, you stood and threw yourself into his embrace, feelings content after so long of being apart. You would have stayed like this for a long time if it wasn't for your child butting in demanding attention from both of you, causing you both to laugh.
"Will you marry me?" He suddenly blurted out catching you off guard.
"What?" You asked, not believing what you heard, Nuada simply smiled as he repeated.
"Will you marry me, Nin rís?"
"You still want me?" You asked fighting tears of joy.
"I never stopped." He replied before leaning to kiss your forehead as he used to.
You buried your face in his chest hiding your tears of joy to be reunited with the one you love. Nuada stayed in your home as you did your best to fill him up on everything that happened in the past 2 years. Showing him the pictures and videos of your son growing up, his first steps, to his first word, first true laugh, what makes him sad, and funny tantrums. And after the child slept you stayed in each other's embrace not parting, wanting to make up for every lost second you spent apart.
"By the way, what does Nin rís mean?" You finally asked. Nuada merely smiled as he nuzzled his nose into your hair.
I hope you guys liked the story, sorry again if it was too long and please tell me what you think!
Have a nice day!
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Hey there! Not sure if you're open for alphabets or not. Well to be honest, I've never requested one from anyone before so excuse me if I do this wrong. If you can though , can I have a NSFW or if you prefer SFW alphabet for my boy Blitzo from Helluva Boss please. Sorry if I'm a pain for requesting this.
⤷notes: hello, nonnie! it’s no problem at all. this is going to be sfw since I’ve done a few nsfw alphabets lately.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, Blitzø’s actually rather affectionate. He’s very much for show. He likes getting to show you off and show that you’re his in front of other people, His public demonstrations of affection typically consist of hugging you from behind and snuggling into your neck as he purrs out words of affection about just how attractive you are. When you’re alone, however, things become a bit more sincere, although he addresses you with the same amount of sickly sweetness.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Blitzø would be the prime example of a bad influence. Constantly coaxing you into bad situations and seducing you with his dangerously planned pranks and plans... let’s just say, you’ll be lucky if you don’t get arrested on Blitz’s watch.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He loves to cuddle. He’s an incredibly touchy person, so any sort of affection you’re willing to offer, he will gladly accept. Just expect him to practically squeeze the air out of you when he does. And you will not be allowed to leave once he’s settled in, so make sure you prepare beforehand...
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
The thought most certainly has come to Blitzø before, but he’s not too focused on it. As much as he likes the idea of marriage, he doesn’t think he’s ready for it. And a part of him isn’t even sure if he’d be good at something like domestic life, he’s practically used to causing chaos, he doesn’t know what he’d do without his current freedom.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He’d want things to be as curt and swift as possible. Like pulling off a band-aid. He most likely wouldn’t want to see you much often after that too, but he’ll act professional as he needs to if you two work together. He’ll almost act like your relationship never happened, or that it was just a one time thing even if you were together for years, but that’s just to hide the pain he’s feeling every time he looks at you. In his eyes, it’s truly for the best.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
As mentioned before, Blitz likes the idea of getting married, he’s just not sure if he’s ready for it or if he’s the marrying type. He’s a bit worried he’s going to let you down and that’s his worst fear.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He’s not the most perceptive person when it comes to emotions, so you’ll most likely have to be straightforward with him about what you’re feeling if you want him to be able to understand your emotions. However, he’s typically very gentle when it comes to you physically. He’s usually very gentle in how he treats you generally. The roughest he’ll be is with the heated words he’ll say during an argument with you, and he doesn’t even mean those. He just gets ahead of himself.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Once again, he’s a very touchy-feely person. He loves any sort of physical affection you’re willing to give him. So yes, he most certainly loves hugs, and he’ll accept them whenever you’re willing to give them. Even when you’re not... his hugs are usually quite strong and almost back-breaking; the kind that’ll lift you off your feet and maybe even swing you around a bit, but they’re super comforting when you’re feeling down.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
As much as he hates to admit it, Blitzø’s just dying for someone he can truly connect with, so expect the “I love you’s” to come as soon as comfortable possible.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He’s not really one for jealously, but if things get a little out of hand (if someone’s shamelessly flirting with you or touching you in ways only he gets to), then he’ll get a bit defensive. But really, can you blame him?
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Kisses with Blitzø are usually rather enthusiastic and full of passion. That, or they’re little teasing pecks that’ll trail all across your body. It really just depends on the mood he’s in, and just how comfortable you are with PDA.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Blitz actually likes children... but he’s a terrible influence and just about everyone things that he might need a bit of training before being able to hang out with children... or be within 50 feet of one... And he’ll have to learn to use far less colorful language around them too... He does like the thought of having children with you a little later down the road however. The thought makes him happy.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Blitzø’s usually not too much of a morning person, but if he’s got a lot of work to do, he’ll hype himself up on coffee to help keep him motivated. Sometimes he might even stay up all night long to get a head start. If that’s the case, he’ll really appreciate you making him a good breakfast before he finally collapses into your arms. If you do wake up together though, he’ll usually spend as much time in bed with you as possible. He’ll talk about any dreams he had or want to listen to yours, and just chill with you for as long as he possibly can.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nights are usually long and... rather loud. Blitz is rather hard to quiet down and, even when you do, it’ll take him forever to even admit he’s tired. But even then, all you really need to do is show him a bit of affection and lead him to the bed and he’ll eventually melt into you just like that.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Blitzø doesn’t really feel like he has a reason to hide anything from you. He may have a few things in his past that he’s rather ashamed of, but he would do his best to just laugh it off. He’ll respect your privacy, but if he happens to say something about himself, he’d like to hear something as equally revealing about you. He only sees it as fair, but he won’t push any boundaries if you really don’t want him to.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He’s actually not easily angered. Unless something happens that really messes with his work, someone says something incredibly stupid, or he so happens to be in a terrible mood already, nothing really gets under Blitzø’s skin. Unless someone underestimates him. That pisses him off rather easily too.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He’ll play dumb and act like he’s forgotten a lot of the things you tell him, but he’s actually got a really good memory. He’ll always remember your birthdays or relationships, but even the things like your favorite color, meal, scent, and what you got for your 15th birthday still linger in the back of his mind.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
His favorite moment was probably when you both ‘confessed’. It wasn’t planned at all and it sort of just... happened? It was a late evening at work for the both of you and you were the only ones left, casually sipping on glasses of cheap champagne as you laughed at each other’s stories. Somehow you had gotten on the topic of past loves and he accidentally let it slip that he wouldn’t mind you being his next and before he could even fully process what he had said, you leaned in to kiss him. He figured it was something you’d just forget the next morning, but you seemed rather sad when he started to act as if nothing had happened... so that’s how he figured out you too would rather have him as your next lover.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Blitzø’s incredibly protective. You think Moxxie’s bad, nuh-uh. He trusts you with his life, but you’re still his baby, so he’ll literally protect you with everything he’s got. Even if it meant keeping you safe and prioritizing you in the middle of a paid mission. He may even overreact a bit when it comes to you being threatened, and it may have even gotten him in trouble a bit a few times in the past, but he doesn’t mind and honestly, neither do you.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
If there’s one thing Blitz’s enjoys about dating, it’s about the overdramatic gestures of romance. Although he’s more than content to simply spend lazy nights with you both together in your pajamas, he’s more than happy to sneak his name onto the reservation list at one of hell’s most expensive restaurants (not without Stolas’ help of course... and perhaps some illegal happenings behind the scenes but that’s not important...)
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
One of Blitzø’s most obvious habits is the fact that he tends to cut people of when they’re talking. It’s not that he’s not listening to you, it’s just that sometimes he thinks of something and needs to say it immediately; the adrenaline becomes too much for him. Sometimes it seems like he’s not listening to you, and it does get rather frustrating, but he doesn’t mean to. Just let him know and he’ll start doing his best to control it when he remembers.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Looks aren’t everything to Blitzø, but you wouldn’t catch him dead in anything less than fashionable, even in the depths of night. He’ll also encourage you to dress nicely as well, as he finds a put-together look to be rather attractive. He wouldn’t let you go out looking disheveled even if it meant running 15 minutes behind schedule.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Blitzø’s not one for theatrics except he most certainly is, so he’s not one to talk about you in a super mushy gushy way unless he’s feeling super romantic or simply teasing you. Logically, he’s gotten along just fine without you, but he most certainly doesn’t want to let you know that he’d be incredibly lonely if you were to leave...
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Blitzø really likes cooking for you. He considers himself to be pretty good at it took, but he likes getting the chance to brush up on his skills. It doesn’t matter what your favorite meal is; how simple or complex it can be, he’s going to perfect it even if it takes him thirty dirty pans and a few false alarms with the fire fighters.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
As mentioned before, Blitzø wouldn’t really enjoy seeing you looking unkept or not at all put together. Presentation means a lot to him so he’d do his best to help you clean up or just put together a better outfit if that’s something you tend to have trouble doing.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Blitzø absolutely snores like a mother, and it’s enough to keep you up most nights. Not to mention the fact that he most certainly moves around a lot and will usually leave you without a blanket before the morning comes. He also has a weird tendency to either be really hot or really cold when he sleeps so he’ll either warm you up on cold nights, or drive you mad during the hot ones...
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Two Months On... Jun. 17
Long post ahead, I won’t say “sorry in advance,” because sorry is a word I don’t use like that, but haha guess this is a warning that my word count was 1499 words. It’s two months of thoughts and feelings though.
Thursday, June 17, 2021
Today is hard. The past two months haven’t been incredibly hard, they’ve just been a lot. But today, things just caught up with me.
It feels like my life has been revolving around this failed relationship and I think about what happened every day. I’ve been angry for awhile now, after learning and realizing that I was in a toxic relationship. I haven’t been upset with myself, because I know it’s not myself. It’s not my fault that I liked and then seemingly loved somebody that was mostly great to me. It’s not my fault that in my first serious relationship, I wasn’t able to recognize the signs of manipulation. And it’s not my fault that I wasn’t ready to let go.
I learned that toxic or manipulative relationships aren’t just hostile, aggressive relationships. I think if they were then less people would find themselves in one. Those toxic relationships can be with people that are nice to you, buy you things, and compliment you. You might feel guilty for ever being uncomfortable with things they say or do- later learning that that was just you seeing the red flags- because your partner isn’t just being flat out mean to you. You might beat yourself down for ever doubting your partner and their intentions. You might make excuses for their behavior, as if that will make the behavior acceptable.
For me it was all of that. Looking back now, I don’t understand how I was happy with them. I went into the relationship knowing that my partner had just gotten out of a relationship a few weeks prior, and I knew that he was being dishonest with me about his past relationship. I knew he was talking to me when he was still with his ex. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but it happened. He knew my boundaries before we dated and yet he pushed those boundaries constantly throughout the relationship. I felt like I was a bad person for telling him how my past relationships failed, but I did it so that he knew what type of character he was investing in. He said he understood me and was okay with my boundaries. So of course I was upset when his actions directly contradicted his words.
Through talks with people close to me, I realized that I wasn’t just an a-hole by being annoyed or upset by things he said and did. And when I imagined one of my friends telling me about my relationship as if it were theirs, I knew I would tell them to get away from said relationship. I asked myself how I could have possibly let myself get into that relationship? Let my feelings and boundaries be completely walked over time and time again. Asked myself why I kept making excuses for a guy I had only been dating for mere months. I thought, going into the relationship, that if things ended, it would be easy. I didn’t want to get too invested into the relationship because I felt like I was a rebound. This guy had just gotten cheated on in a two-year relationship. Why would I have thought that his feelings for me were real? I don’t blame myself for any of that now.
I’ve learned about love-bombing and other manipulation tactics. I know that I felt overwhelmed and trapped in the relationship for most of it. I moved to a new town and made zero friends, I stopped talking to my close friends from before the relationship- because he made it clear that he didn’t trust me to talk to anybody but himself. So I don’t blame myself now. I wasn’t the one in control. I wasn’t the person four years older than the other, with several long-term relationships and a reputation under my belt. I ended the relationship, but I still don’t blame myself.
The relationship didn’t end at the breakup though, which I’m sure is no surprise to most people. I tried to stay friends with him because we were both hurting too much after the relationship, and we thought we had a strong friendship. This didn’t stop him from treating me like his partner. Asking me if every human I interacted with was a new love interest of mine- with time, I realized this aspect was his bi-phobia. He ignored my feelings and boundaries still, even when I told him we’re no longer in a relationship and I could end the friendship easier than a relationship. It sounds cold, but this is just how it was. He visited me days before my birthday and we went on a trip. All we did was argue and I finally confronted him about how I suspected he had manipulated me. Then he- as much as I hate the term- gaslighted me. I felt like the worst person on earth for days. He left the next day and I was alone on my birthday, still feeling awful.
Our friendship was rocky because by then I knew to look out for the manipulation and toxicity. I distanced myself and started talking to old friends and meeting people in this new town. It started to feel like I was finally accepting this new phase of my life. Until recently when he and I had a huge blowout and I blocked him because I was finally fed up. When I realized his bi-phobia. That was the final straw for me. For weeks he had already been making me feel like shit, and then I recognized the bi-phobia and ended things for real. I was furious. I removed him everywhere. I deleted the songs we shared, the pictures we took, and I tried to forget the memories of him. He was constantly checking my social media even though I removed him, so I finally caved and blocked him there. I was angry for a week. Until today.
Today I felt all of the other feelings from the past two months. Mostly heartache. I wasn’t even that happy with him, but I felt heartache over the loss. The switch flipped when I opened Spotify and saw I hadn’t removed him there. I saw he made a new playlist, filled with all the songs he would play for us. Y’know, he never played songs I liked. He only played his favorite artists. It’s a dumb thing to be upset about now, but I can’t help it. He made a playlist for the two of us when we were together but it was all his favorite music. And so now he still relates our relationship with his favorite songs. He didn’t listen to my music the way I listened to his. I cared so much about showing interest in his interests and incorporating his tastes into my routine so that he would be satisfied. It only upsets me now because I just feel like I cared more about the little things than he did. I really did try, and yet I keep thinking I must not have since I’m the one that did the dumping.
I’ve listened to my music today. Crying, feeling empty, feeling sadness, feeling regret. There isn’t any anger today. I can’t handle the anger right now. I recovered some of our pictures and cried over them. I don’t miss him, so I don’t know why I’m feeling the ways I’m feeling. I don’t want to be upset with myself for not being able to identify why I’m feeling this way. He yelled at me for not being able to identify my feelings, so I won’t allow myself to treat me the way he did.
When I broke up with him, I thought I was going to feel everything completely and let those feelings heal me. I thought I had been healing. I thought I was over everything, so I just don’t understand why today has been so hard. I think getting everything out like this will help me move past it all. I’m tired of having all of these thoughts and experiences bottled up in my head when I want to move on. This will just have to be part of me feeling my feelings. I want to say goodbye to this part of my life and move forward. This person was my experience in what relationships shouldn’t feel like. I wasn’t happy. I don’t miss him, I don’t miss the relationship. I’m going to get all of this stuff out, accept what happened and move the fuck on.
If you actually read any of this, thanks I guess. It’s probably just a jumbled mess of words and thoughts and feelings, but this is the only way I can think of to get past what happened. I want my life to be about happiness and satisfaction again. I want to go a day and not think about a failed relationship. This is the last thing I think I can do to get to that. Let’s see what happens next.
Aro Volturi Masterlist
telekinesis - can I have a Aro x reader one shot where the reader has telekinesis and telepathy that’s strong enough to kill vampires despite the fact that shes a human. He’s really surprised when the volturi capture her to feed on, and she fights back
witness - reader used to be apart of the voltori like one of the top guards but left and then years later she got a call from Carlisle to be a witness and then volturi see her and idk i was hoping for some aro love you know?
attention - can you write an Aro x Reader. Where theyre mates and he has been away for a while and his mate is starting to miss him so much it hurts mentally and physically. But then he returns and gives his mate the attention they craved?
caretaker + part two - i was imagining the kings meeting an immortal child, made illegally, being the kid able to control her/his thirst and being very powerful, enough that they decided to keep he/her However, the kid is attached to a human woman with a possible talent( only for Aro) and they take her too till they decided what to do, making her their secretary till that happens. Meanwhile, Aro falls in love/lust with her?
talent - could I get one with Aro where the reader has a talent the Volturi want to study, and Aro is fascinated by her and spends lots of time testing what she can do, and keeps standing really close whenever they talk and lingering whenever he touches her, and she’s getting really flustered and he ends up deciding she’s powerful enough to be a Volturi mate and kisses her. Thanks!
protection (+ marcus/caius) - can I have 57 with Caius, Aro and Marcus? As a poly ask? Thank youu💕💕(“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”)
hit on (+ marcus/caius) - do you think I might be able to request an imagine where the reader is mated to the Kings (like a poly relationship.) And she gets hit on/cat called by one of the lower guards. Possibly someone else sees, and spreads it throughout the guard until the Kings eventually find out?
burn (+ marcus/caius) - maybe the Volturi Kings with a fem!mate (all three mated to the same person.) who accidentally burns herself (its super small, but she still feels it but she brushes it off) Anyways the Kings see and they FREAK because fire is like the only thing that can completely kill a vampire
trouble (+ marcus/caius) - hello, I would like to request please a poly relationship with the reader and the Volturi leaders where the reader wants to outside, but her mates say no, but she sneaks out anyway, and something terrible happens
witch (+ marcus/caius) - can I request a scenario in which the reader is the three volturi kings mate (like a poly relationship) but not a human. She’s actually a which and can’t be turned into a vamp bc she’s already supernatural. While witches don’t age past 21, they don’t have super strength or healing like vamps, which is why they’re really protective of her. Thing is she hates it, bc she can protect herself with magic and doesn’t like being coddled
sister (+ marcus/caius) - where the reader is Bell’s littile sister. And she finds out she is the Volturi King’s mate during the battle.
snow day (+ marcus/caius)- can I request a one-shot for Christmas with the kings and they mate. Them love the christmas time and go out the castle/escape to see the snow falling in Volterra on a beautiful day. Would be funny and romantic awww! ❄☃️🖤
baby (+ marcus/caius) - in your opinion how would react and act the three Volturi king (as a poly or not, what you prefer) with a s/o who is a single mother with a very young kid (like 2-3 y/o). They would accept the baby? They would think about him/her as theirs? If yes, when the baby calls them “dad” what woul be their reaction?
volturi kings with a childish s/o
poly relationship with volturi kings
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Author Spotlight: LadyDivine Day 2
Share one of your strengths.
I'm prolific. Is that a strength? I'm not sure.
Share one of your weaknesses.
I don't like people intruding on my space, so I don't take criticism very well. But, to be fair to me, I take thought-out, valid, and knowledgeable criticism well enough. It's the uneducated variety I can't stand - where people think they know better than you, they really don't, but their need to criticize is so strong it can't be contained. I used to be polite about it, but I'm tired of polite. Nowadays, I'll go off if the remark warrants it. XD
Which fic has been the hardest to write?
For Klaine it has to be All the Beautiful Pieces. I had the whole thing written, but while I was posting, my computer ate the last five chapters or so. It's been heartbreaking trying to re-write that all down. But Sebastian's storyline in it in particular is what makes it so difficult. For Kurtbastian (since we're talking about Glee as a whole, I would think it'd be okay to include this) it's been Deliver Me. The main story is complete. It's the sequel I'm having trouble with, in part because I was writing it for a friend of mine who passed in the middle of it. It was very tragic, and it's stuck with me ever since.
Which fic has been the easiest to write?
Lord of the Manor and A Long Forgotten Road. I knocked those out in a day. They were already completely written in my head, so I just had to put them down on paper... computer.
Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?
It's definitely a passion. It's what I would like to do for the rest of my life, if I can.
Is there an episode or character or arc above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?
God. Every episode and character hits different for different reasons. The thing that Glee did constantly (which is why fix-it fics and filler fics are so plentiful in this fandom) is under-explain. Like, Finn and Rachel aren't a mystery, we know a great deal about Kurt, but we don't know a thing about Sebastian, we know little about Karofsky other than he was a bully because he was in the closet, we don't even know all that much about Blaine! And these are major players in the show! I think Blaine's was a story arc that REQUIRED clarification, especially where his father was concerned. So creating fic knowing that there are so many questions that will never be answered is, in itself, an adventure, especially when what you believe doesn't jibe with what other people hold as true and sacred. So, in that way, the whole thing inspires me because I just want to know WHAT HAPPENED! XD We have what? Six seasons with an ending and there are days I'm still like - but why?? But if I was forced at pen point to write about one person solely, it's Sebastian. Sebastian inspires me.
What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
Write what you know (or what you've thoroughly, thoroughly researched). And if you're looking for a hero, start with yourself and go from there.
What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
The opposite - write what you don't know. Because people usually take that as an invitation to fly off the rails without a safety net with their imagination as the limit. Look, I'm all for stretching boundaries and delving into new waters, but research is your friend. If you are going to write something you have no first-hand experience with, please do research. Or ask someone (several someones preferably) who knows more than you. There are subjects I don't touch because, as intriguing as I find them, I don't think I have the voice, the experience, or the right, in some cases. There are cultures I know nothing about, certain disorders, certain lifestyles - it's not my place to put myself in their shoes for the sake of a story. Some people see fanfiction as their unsowed meadow to frolic as they please, but I know that someone out there is going to read my work, possibly someone who is looking for community or acceptance or hope. Commiseration. I don't want to let that person down or steer them wrong. And I never, EVER, want to insult someone with my ignorance.
If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?
Hands down Need for Speed.
What’s your process? Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? What are the perfect writing conditions for you?
I write everything on my phone or my computer. I no longer write by hand fast enough for it to be feasible. I rarely ever outline because, for most of my stories, it's all there in my head from start to finish. It just has to get out. I used to be able to write anywhere, anytime, but as I've gotten older, that's getting more difficult. My perfect conditions are basically me, my computer, some quiet, and some inspiration, which is also in short supply at present. Unfortunately, the times that inspiration tends to hit are when writing is the least practical - on the treadmill, at the ice rink, driving XD And I can't talk to text because I'm never alone.
Check out Lady-divine-writes’s Fic
Taking a Journey Together - FutureFic AU, where Kurt and Blaine meet in New York. Kurt is a well-known and sought-after Dom, and Blaine, still finding himself, falls for him fast and agrees to be his sub. This one-shot was written to emphasize one of the problems that arises in a committed, romantic D/s relationship. Warning for anxiety, rough sex, and D/s themes.
Not Just My Wingman - Kurt and Blaine are roommates, living in the loft together after Blaine graduates from high school and moves to New York. Kurt is determined that he's over Blaine, and tries to prove it by helping him get a date…or ultimately, get laid. But when Blaine succeeds in finding a guy that's actually interested in him, will Kurt realize that he wasn't as over Blaine as he thought?
All the Beautiful Pieces - Blaine Anderson is spending the summer after graduation flipping houses with his brother for Cooper's total home renovation show. The show features the worst houses Cooper can buy, with Blaine playing the role of lackey so that Cooper can torture him in front of his viewers. The last house Blaine has to renovate is an original Victorian House in San Diego, CA, which is in terrible condition. But this house turns out to be more than just another job. It was once owned by a famous Vaudeville ventriloquist by the name of Andrew Smythe. It houses a very interesting collection of items - among them, two life-sized puppets. Blaine isn't sure exactly why, but he's drawn to them - especially to the one with the beautiful blue eyes. He convinces Cooper to give him the puppets, and Blaine starts to restore them. In the course of the restoration, Blaine finds out that neither puppet is simply a run-of-the-mill puppet, and Andrew Smythe was hiding a secret that will be the key to saving two lives.
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