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btssunnyboy · 3 years

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Unbelievable - Choi San

He was always rude to you, embarrassing you in front of everyone. So why is he mad that someone better made you an offer?

Warning - Profanity, mention of caffeine, San is mean as fuck, Yandere towards the end, He makes a threat.

Word Count - 3,362 idk if they will be a part 2!

BTS , NCT , ATEEZ — request open.

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Good god, your blood was boiling the moment you saw his door crack open. You could feel your fingernails digging into your palms as you tried to remain calm. The last thing you needed to do was lose your temper and give this man another opportunity to ridicule in front of your co-workers. But judging by that horrendous look on his face you already have a gut feeling that all taht hard work to keep your anger in check is going to fly right through the window. Taking the deepest breath you could take and plastering on that fake smile, you gladly greeted the man that makes your life a living hell.

“These numbers are definitely not to my liking and I refused to be the laughing stock at the board meeting tomorrow.” He huffed heavily as he practically threw the binder down onto your desk. The heavy plastic slamming against the steel desk with a loud thud that echoed through the big hallway. The wind from the fall making papers that previously occupied your desk go flying in every single direction. You could feel your anger bubble up in your chest at the mere disrespect that this man was giving you, and it was driving you insane.

“With all do respect sir, it’s already twelve thirty, and I highly doubt I’ll be able to go over all of these documents by seven thirty in the morning.” You resisted their urge to grit your teeth as you wanted to appear somehow considerate of his complications. Truth be told you didn’t want to do another all nighter when you barely pulled through from the other night. “Besides, I looked over the revenue and margin growths three times before I sent them to your office.”

He scoffed loudly as he licked one of his fingers and then continued to rummage through the papers that were bonded together. His long finger skimmed over the lines multiple times and he flipped each page within a minute. Those piercing eyes stayed locked in on every single number that crossed the page. “Ah, right here it states that we made a profit revenue of fifty million last year, but then it states that this year we’ve only grossed sixty five million. And that’s definitely less than the fifty percent revenue growth that we expected.”

“So, sixty five is not as bad as you’re making it out to be, besides multiple people double checked.” You spoke tiredly as you started packing up your briefcase. Different papers getting stacked together and even crumpled because of the rapid pace that you were going. No matter what happens tonight you were leaving before the clock strikes one in the morning. As you were packing up your eyes met his furious ones and it felt like your world was crumbling down. “Mr. Choi, I’m being honest, your accounting department checked all of these numbers multiple times and I looked over them as much as I could.”

“I know for a fact that we had a fifty percent increase in revenue, now look over these damn numbers again. Or you’ll be kissing this cushy office job goodbye in the morning.” He harshly slammed the binder closed and stalked over to his office door. The audacity of that stupid man, how dare he even threaten you with this job. But as much as you wanted to spit in his face and tell him to shove it you really needed this job, this really well paying job.

You poked your cheek with your tongue out of agitation and roughly grabbed your purse. The bottle of caffeine pills made a clicking sound as you unscrewed the cap within a second. Without a drink of water you downed the pill and grabbed the ugly binder. This was going to be a long night, and these numbers were not going to supposedly fix themselves.

Your fingers tapped the keys on the keyboard rapidly as you searched each collaboration revenue. All of these numbers were lining up, no matter what you searched. Out of the six collaborations Choi enterprise only grossed sixty five million, but for some reason he just won’t listen. All you wanted to do at this point was slump forward and go to sleep, but with that anger that Mr.Choi has you’re scared he might kill you in your sleep. But as the long hours went on and on, you could feel yourself slipping. Your eyelids felt like a ton, and your head was suddenly too heavy for your neck to hold. Before you knew you were out like a light.

—

You’d shoot the person who was jabbing their finger into side if you could. Their bony finger feeling a knife stabbing your rib cage with immense pressure. “Please wake up, y/n, if he notices you’re asleep, who knows what he’ll do!” The jabbing didn’t cease one bit, in fact they just jabbed even harder.

“Okay! I’m up!” You groggily scoffed as your vision was trying to focus on the object in front of you. The figure was simply a mush of different colors all moving in different directions. The harsh lights in the office are in no way making the situation any better. You could make out their hand moving from left to right to try and grab your attention. “Hongjoong?”

“What are you, blind? Of course it’s me, but please I’m begging you get up and go freshen up in the bathroom.” He sighed sadly as he helped your wobbly stance straighten up. His soft hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. The soft scent of his cologne filling your nose as you clung to him. “Do you still carry extra clothes in your car?”

“Thankfully yes, but what time is it?” You question as you rubbed your eyes, trying to make all the colors of the world blend back together to form one coherent thing. “Oh god, is it past seven thirty, oh shit! He’s gonna kill me!”

“Calm down, it's only six thirty, but he always gets here at seven. So please go wipe that old makeup off and I’ll get your other clothes.” Hongjoong smiled slightly at you before his eyes shifted towards the oh so famous brown binder. “Did that dick make you go over more numbers the whole night?”

“God yes and it was terrible, but I looked over all six collaborations and I kid you not it all equals sixty five.” You could hear a pin drop on the silence that coated the room. It was beginning to feel suffocating and you physically felt your chest growing heavy with dread. “There were only six right, because that’s all the forms I received.”

“Maybe i'm just thinking of something else, because maybe just maybe -“

“Stop wasting time! Is there more than six?” You panicked as you shoved him away and pulled the rolling chair back to your side. Before your fingers could even reach the keys, Hongjoong’s were there in a second. They tapped rapidly and skimmed through all your emails at a neck breaking pace. “Oh my god I never refreshed the email.”

“We don’t have time to sit here and panic, we have three pages of numbers to go through.” Hongjoong tried to make the situation less tense by offering a helping hand, but he knew that if these numbers weren’t corrected all hell would break loose. And no one wanted to see what Choi San was like when he more than ticked off. He’d probably be past the point of furious if ever saw these unfinished numbers.

—

San’s eyes were narrowed as he eyed the unfamiliar man at your desk. Where the hell were you? He didn’t pay a shit ton of money for you to be everywhere and not in that chair looking pretty. But at this moment he couldn’t control himself as the words flew from his mouth. “What the hell is this?”

That look, that gorgeous look of fear that made his blood rush and his heart pound. Was etched across the unknown man's face and he was basking in the glory of it. San cocked his eyebrow slightly as he leaned forwards on his palms. “Did I suddenly grow two heads or some shit, no? Then answer my question, what the hell is this.”

“I’m so sorry Mr.Choi, but I didn’t notice that there were seven collaborations. I only had six in my email. And Mr.Kim was only helping me scrunch the numbers.”

“You mean to tell me that these numbers aren’t finished! And this meeting is in less than an hour?” His demeanor was calm but the sheer venom in his voice was enough to bring you to your knees. He poked his cheek with his tongue and gave a mean smile in your direction. “I mean it, l/n you’re on thin ice. But if those numbers aren’t corrected then you’re fired.”

“Yes sir.” You gulped as you watched him take heavy steps towards his office. You were in deep shit now. San rubbed his chin as he tried to remain calm and not fire you on the spot. Out of all the times you could have missed up, you decided now was the perfect time. Messing up these numbers would make other investors think that this company cannot handle the responsibility of simply matching numbers. This mistake could completely tank the company and put everyone here out of a job.

Fifty five minutes have passed and investors from other companies are already showing up at the doors. And here he was sitting at the head of the table empty handed, and it was all your fault. It was your fault for not refreshing that damn email, for not paying closer attention to the numbers, for simply not giving it your all. And now it’s going to be your fault that the entire company crumbles and falls straight into the depths below.

“So San, when is this meeting going to officially begin?” Questioned one of the many associates as he leaned back against the velvet chair. A smile bright on his face as if he didn’t care to wait a moment or two for it to begin. But, on the other hand, the leader of the meeting was so furious he could start foaming at the mouth. Because guess what crucial piece of information still wasn’t on his desk.

“We will begin momentarily if my secretary would get her head out of her ass and bring them those god damn numbers.” San spoke with a soft smile on his face. The look he gave the men was a completely different tone from the words he just spoke. Those words help fury and degradation but his smile was so bright it could light up a room or cause someone’s heart to flutter out of their chest. But at this moment all of those men knew at this moment San was anything, but happy.

The sound of the doorknob being yanked on caught everyone’s attention. Their heads jolted towards the cause of the noise as they watched you fiddled with the dozens of papers in her hand. Your smile was uneasy as you tried to reorganize them on your way towards the head of the table. They watched your clammy hands shake with fear as San ripped the paper from your hands. Judging by the way you quickly held your pointed and middle finger they could only guess what happened.

“Why the hell are you still standing here? Do I need to draw you a picture and make it clear that you’re done here?” San scolded as he shoved you a bit and forced you to walk to the door. Fumbling over your own two feet and almost hitting the floor head on at one point. But he didn’t care, because all he wanted to do right now was get this meeting over with. With a final shove and a quick slam of the glass door, he swiftly turned back around to be met with very difficult to decipher expressions.

“Well now that all distractions are gone, let’s get down to business.”

—

Your face was flushed and you could feel your hands start to shake. From the mere interaction with the stupid CEO. The vivid picture of his icy eyes and cold stare were burned into your brain, as his words pounded in your skull without mercy. The man practically belittled you, in a room full of successful CEOs who now probably think you’re a joke.

“Hey, don't worry yourself sick. It was an honest mistake.” Hongjoong consoled you as he eyed your shaken form. The tearful eyes and the constant bouncing of your leg was a dead giveaway of the way you felt at this moment. And he wanted nothing more than to just say everything will be okay, that everything is going to be just fine. But he can’t, because who knows what the jerk will do you do considering your almost costed him a deal.

“Do you think he’ll fire me?” The question hung in the air with such heaviness that it was almost hard to breathe. The thought of losing this job was sending you into a whirlwind of erratic emotions. If this job is gone, there goes the ability to afford your car, hell there goes the ability to afford the damn apartment you’re living in at this moment. You’ll lose eveything, if you’re cut off.

“He better not, and trust me if he ever does, I would be more than happy to have you on my team.” A new man smiled brightly in your direction as he made his way over to your desk. He wasn’t an unfamiliar face around the office as he and Mr.Choi have done business deals of many kinds in the past. “It would truly be an honor to have someone like you working at Jeon Marketing.”

A small smile took over your face as you eyed the man in front of you. Mr.Jeon was an extremely well known CEO in this business, and he’s not too much older than Mr.Choi. You’re genuinely surprised these men are allies in this type of business, if anything you thought they’d be enemies. “Thank you for such kind words, but trust me your opinion on me may change soon.”

“Nonsense, I’ve seen the way you handle situations at this company, especially time crunched ones. I can tell just by looking at your face you stayed up hours just to make sure his numbers were perfect.” Mr Jeon stated as he leaned forward on the desk and clapped his hand together. “And truth be told I wouldn’t mind having such a beautiful face be the face of my company.”

His compliment left you stumped as you eyed his face. The tone he held was lighthearted because he knew this stressful situation needed a little laughter, but you knew from the look on his face he was being serious. About both of his statements. Before you could form a response, he long fingers were reaching into his jacket pocket. “I promise, if you ever need anything. I’m just a call away.”

“His top rival and best friend just offered you a sweet ass deal, are you gonna take it?”

You truly didn’t know the answer to that. I mean on one hand you have your secretary job here, and it pays well. The boss may be a pain in the ass, but it’s the only thing keeping you afloat. And you know that these two companies are neck and neck right now for the top spot, so it’s hard to decipher just how much he’s willing to pay you. But would there be any harm in simply asking the man?

“I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t intrigue me, but at the same time I don’t wanna leave you all alone.” You mumbled as you tapped away at the computer keys. Just trying to find any small amount of information about his company. But only mere surface information popped up in the search box. “Would it be a bad thing if I did leave?”

“Sometimes trying something new is good thing, but it really all depends on how you feel. And I have a friend that works there and she told me she makes over 250k a year.” Hongjoong shrugged his shoulders as he stood up to leave. His soft eyes giving a sense of comfort as he started to walk away. “I promise whatever option you pick, you’ll be fine.”

A heavy huff of air passed through your lips as you tried to think of the right answer. If he was right you’d make just a little bit more working for him and he genuinely seems like a nicer boss in general. So the real question is what’s keeping you tied to this job? The only perk about this job is working with Hongjoong and he’s the main reason why you’ve stuck around this long. The men from before were now exiting San’s offer with bright smiles on their faces, and you could only conclude that those numbers truly were the right ones. But just as your eyes leave their smiles you’re met with someone who has the complete opposite expression.

He briskly walked towards you and hastily cleared his throat. The stone cold expression he was supporting made a shiver go down your spine. Without a second thought he grabbed your hand and hauled you off in the direction of his office, with his nails piercing the skin of your wrist. Within a second he shoved you into his office and slammed the door behind him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” His stern voice echoed in the office. Bouncing off the walls left and right and continuing to bounce inside your skull. The fingernails that were pressing into your skin felt like sharp needles protruding into you. You could have sworn you saw blood pass through his fingers. “Answer me!”

“I’m sorry! But I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” You panicked as you tried to yank your arm away from his hardened grasp. Those eyes of his start to terrify you the longer you stay in his touch. But he wasn’t letting you get away if anything the more you struggled against him the tighter his hold got.

“I saw that dumb fucker hand you his card, and for some unknown reason you took it. So what that’s it, you’re just gonna fucking leave after everything I’ve done for you?” He spat words at you left and right. Not bothering to back up any of his claims. He speaks as if he’s given you pure gold to walk but in reality all he’s given you is eggshells. You have to be careful around you, you’re never treated well, and he wants to sit up on his throne and act as if he’s treated you like royalty?

“If anything you’ve given me shit! You’re treating me like crap any chance you get, I made one mistake and your response to that is belittling me in front of other people!” You shouted back with just as much venom as he has done to you. With a final yank from your arm, you relaxed yourself from his grip. Tired of his antics you looked him dead in the eyes and spoke. “And so what if I take his offer, he’d be a better boss than you ever were!”

“I mean it, L/n, you take that deal and I’ll make your life a living hell.” He threatened as he got closer and closer. His minty breath fanned your face slightly as he harshly grabbed your chin. “Trust me, this is one bet you’ll regret taking if you leave.”

“I’ll take that damn bet any day.” You tried to push his chest back but he was stronger than you. What surprised you the most was the cackle-like laugh that passed through his lips. A wide smile taking over his face and that somehow made the situation more sinister.

“I warned you, Y/n.”

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sodasback · 3 years

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Slapped

ER Nurse Rafe x ER Nurse Reader

Warnings: Cursing, physical violence

Not my GIF. All Credit to owner/creator: @the-mighty-div

You walked into the med room, just needing to catch your breath. The only other person in there was Rafe. You walked in, dramatically slumping your shoulders. “Aghhhh!” you all but yelled.

Rafe looked up from the computer in the med room to you with a surprised expression that quickly turned sympathetic.

He chuckled a little. “Rough day, baby?”

You just looked at him and nodded, on the verge of tears, but not wanting to cry at work.

He looked over your shoulder out the window that was in the door, before leaning against the shelves that were kind of out of view and pulling you into his chest a tight hug. He rested his cheek on top of your head. He felt you stiff as a board in his embrace.

“You can cry, ya know?” He said softly.

You shook your head. “You know me, if I start I won’t stop and I got stuff to do. My patient is crazy noncompliant and giving me a really hard time.” You explained, reluctantly letting go of Rafe.

“You wanna switch?” Rafe asked sweetly.

“No, Rafe. We can’t do that.” You said. He already knew that too.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked, pouting and feeling helpless.

“Give me a massage tomorrow when you come over?” You asked.

“You got it babe.” He said pecking your cheek.

“Can you guys be nearby as witnesses? This patient is refusing everything and getting really combative.” You asked your charge nurse, Edgar and Rafe.

“Yeah, what’s going on?” Edgar asked.

“Heart failure patient. Non compliant with his meds. Came in for shortness of breath and weight gain. Signs of hypokalemia. Super tachycardic. I need to draw blood so I can check his potassium. His BP when he came in was through the roof so I need to give him a IV metoprolol and lasix. He’s refusing everything now.”

You approached your patient with your coworkers standing nearby behind you, but not enough to seem threatening.

“Hi Mr. Kaplan, I have some medication that’s going to make you feel better, but I need to take your blood pressure first.” You tried to explain sweetly.

“No! Leave bitch!” He yelled. You took a deep breath.

“Sir, I understand you’re upset, but you can’t talk to me like that. I’m trying to help you. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, but I don’t know why you’re here in the hospital if you don’t want any treatment.”

“I said get out of here you cunt!” He shouted, standing up and taking a step toward you. You took a step back and Edgar and Rafe were immediately between you and the patient.

“Page Dr. Strong” Edgar told you, even though you were already dialing.

“Woah. Hey, you don’t talk to her like that. That’s not okay.” Rafe said, trying to stay calm. “You need to sit down, sir.”

You went and grabbed AMA paperwork in case this patient really didn’t want treatment he was free to leave against medical advice, while the overhead page for Dr. Strong went off and security, a pharmacist and a psychiatrist were walking toward where your patient was.

The Dr. Strong team had gotten the patient to calm down and the doctor explained to him again how important it was to take the medications.

The doctor left to take care of something else, so a while later, you again came with your supplies to hopefully get everything done and the patient stable so he could get admitted upstairs.

“Mr. Kaplan, I’m back. I just need to take your blood pressure real fast, it should only take a second.”

He didn’t say anything and just glared straight ahead. You approached the side of his bed slowly and grabbed the blood pressure cuff to wrap around his arm.

“Okay, I’m just putting the cuff on, okay?” You said as you started to touch his arm, the back of his hand collided with your face.

“Don’t touch me! You bitch! I don’t want anyone here to do anything to me! Leave me alone!”

You gasped holding your cheek.

A lot of people saw it happen. Rafe was there in a second with murderous eyes and clenched fists, but luckily Edgar was fast enough to walk in front of Rafe anticipating this reaction.

“Take care of Y/N” Edgar told Rafe, while he and the charge nurse tried to deal with the patient while paging the Dr. Strong team again.

“Shit” You cursed at the sting as you grasped your cheek and tried to understand what just happened. Rafe immediately softened looking at you. You looked so small as you held onto your reddened cheek. He put an arm around your shoulder and ushered you away and sat you in a chair at the nearby nurses’ station. You were still kind of in shock.

“Are you okay?” He asked, kneeling in front of you. You closed your eyes and shook your head trying to suck it up.

“Yeah!” You told him trying to sound confident.

“Hey Estephany, can you grab her an ice pack? Y/N, stop, look at me.” He said more sternly. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked.

“Yes, Cameron, I’m fine” You assured him and tried to stand up.

Rafe pushed you back into the chair. “Uh uh. Stay right here. You’ve been injured at work. So you need to be assessed.”

You rolled your eyes at him using those words knowing now you had to do all the workers comp formalities.

Rafe gently reached up and pulled your hand away from your face. He inspected your cheek and under your eye as Estephany passed him an ice pack.

“It doesn’t look like you got cut anywhere” he said.

“Yup! See? Totally fine!” You confirmed, trying to get up again.

“Y/N, sit your ass down and let me check you out.” You smiled at the choice of words but you knew he didn’t intend to try to flirt with you right now.

“Okay, we’ll if you’re gonna check me out, then I guess I can sit here and look pretty.” You decided, straightening your posture and flipping your hair over your shoulder.

Rafe glared at you but it broke into a small smile he couldn’t hold back as he shook his head and pulled out his pen light.

“Look at my nose” he said, tapping his nose. You felt your heart melt as Rafe treated you like a patient for a second and you thought about how many times you’ve both said that to patients. You knew he was checking your neuro status and to see if you were concussed since the patient who slapped you was pretty big and strong. But you were focused on the butterflies in your tummy at your caring, some would argue overbearing new boyfriend, and his sparkling blue eyes.

“Nose, Y/N.” He reminded you when you were still swimming in his eyes and then he checked your pupil reactions. “Can you tell me what day it is?”

“I can tell you every One Direction song Niall Horan plays guitar for?” You offered.

“That doesn’t tell me anything. You could do that even if you were in a coma. Come on.”

“Rafe” you groaned, now finding this ridiculous.

“What day is it, Rookie?” He asked more firmly.

“It’s Thursday ...which by the way, means it’s been 4 days since the last time you fucked me, which is way too long in my opinion.” You whispered the last part.

Rafe widened his eyes. “Shhh! Frickin trouble maker!” He scolded, looking around to see if anyone nearby heard you.

“See? Now, you know my memory is intact, I can count, I know what day it is and my sex drive is healthy.”

"I never had doubts about the last part, dirty girl.” Rafe teased quietly as he placed the ice pack on your cheek.

“And I’m the one that needs to sush!” You protested in mock offense at his comment.

“No but seriously, are you okay? ..like emotionally?” Rafe asked softly.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You nodded. “Promise.”

You were walking out of work when Rafe and Edgar caught up to you.

“Hey Y/N do you need a ride home?” Rafe asked.

You looked at him truly confused. “Why would I need a ride home?”

“You got smacked in the face.” Rafe said like it was obvious. Even Edgar furrowed his brow at him.

“It happens.” You shrugged and chuckled.

“Yeah, Rafe I think Rookie over here can handle driving 2 miles.” Edgar joked.

“Text me when you get home?” Rafe asked you quietly, despite all 3 of you knowing that Edgar knew about you and Rafe.

You rolled your eyes.

“Y/N.” Rafe warned.

“Yes, Cameron, I will text you in 10 minutes when I get home.” You said, exhausted by Rafe’s overprotectiveness, even though it still made you all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Bro” Edgar said to Rafe when they got in the car together.

Rafe looked at him expectantly. “What?”

“You gotta be careful man with this whole situation.” Edgar said, gesturing to Rafe and where you were getting in your car in the parking lot.

“What are you talking about?” Rafe continued to play clueless.

“With Y/N man. You’re too protective of her at work dude.”

Rafe just scoffed and shook his head.

“What would’ve happened if I didn’t step in front of you tonight?” Edgar asked.

Rafe was quiet for a second, “I probably would have beaten the shit out of that patient and lost my job and nursing license.” He admitted.

Edgar gave him an I-told-you-so smile. “This is why you don’t fuck your coworkers, bud.” He said, turning the key in the ignition.

Rafe shook his head again. “It’s not like that dude-“

“Yeah, I know, you’re in love with her.”

“Well- I mean- I don’t know if I’d go that far. We’ve only known each other-“

“Oh my god. Shut up!” Edgar groaned, “You fell for her the first day she started working here and you know it.” Rafe just smiled to himself. “You just have to be careful Rafe. She’s not made of glass. She’s a badass. She can handle herself. You can’t be protective of her here. You’re gonna get yourself in a lot of trouble. ....And plus it really makes the whole secretly dating each other thing superrrr obvious bro.”

“Do you think anyone knows?” Rafe asked.

Edgar shook his head, “Nah, I don’t think so.” Even though Edgar knew pretty much everyone knew from day 1.

Taglist: @moniamaybank @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @hernameisnoell @railmerafe

#rafe cameron #rafe imagine #rafe x reader #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #Rafe Cameron x Nurse!Reader #ER Nurse Rafe #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #obx #obx fanfiction

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layniapetrovnaaa · 4 years

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...Surprise!

[Part of The Howlett Family series]

I am making this into a series, I haven't figured out all of the parts yet or what order they will go in, but I do have a few more things planned. Also, writing this made me sweat.

Summary: Laura is at a sleepover, you and Logan take advantage of the empty house, but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Warnings: Smut, pregnancy, cursing, alcohol.

If the on coming morning sickness didn't give it away, then you figured the lack of disposable menstrual products in the garbage would. Logan may be getting old, but some things never leave you, and being wickedly observant was one of them. That being said you also relied upon the fact that he was also very oblivious at times.

You weren't as much worried about Logan finding out prematurely as you were Laura. The dark haired girl always had an incline to curiosity and mischief, and the worst part about it was that it was always completely innocent, so you could never really be that upset about her occasional findings.

Logan felt differently however, being the private person he is, and would put locks and/or “keep out” signs on things like your shared closet, bedside table drawers, or his trunk of sentimental objects. You couldn't help but find it humorous. He was fine with her curiosity, just not when it invaded his or your privacy, or when it would embarrassed him (a story for another time...).

This was one of the only times that you would not encourage that curiosity from your daughter.

***

“Have you told him yet?” Cassie, your co-worker, asked.

“No” you sigh, pausing on wiping down the bar countertop.

Cassie was in her late thirties, she had a sweet Canadian accent that you would only catch if someone pointed it out, and she always had a wonderfully sunny disposition. She was one of those people that reminded you of sunflowers and the color yellow (despite her dozens of tattoos, stark black and white hair, dark cherry lips, and career in bar tending).

She shook her head lightly as she turned back to the glass she was cleaning out.

“Your going to have to tell them soon, [Y/N]. You can’t keep stuff like this to yourself for long.”

You nodded, eyebrows knit, thinking of how you would confess to Logan and Laura.

“[Y/N], your man is here.”

“Thanks Joe!” you say quickly so he can hear you as he rounds the corner to the back.

You head towards the entrance of the bar and see Loan hanging his coat up on the rack. You put your arms around his neck and give him a kiss.

“Hey baby.” he says lowly and quietly. The affectionate tone he used was one that he didn't want anyone else but you (and occasionally Laura) to hear.

You led him to the bar and he sits on one of the stools as you walk around the counter and prepare his usual drink.

As you fill up the glass your mind starts to wander, faintly hearing the sound of Cassie greeting Logan in her usual bubbly manor.

How would you tell them?

What would he say?

How would you afford a baby?

What if something happens?

Still zoned out you follow with the routine, setting Logan's drink down in front of him. He gives you a weird look, as if he was about to ask you why your head was in the clouds, but he was interrupted by Cassie.

“Was Laura excited about the sleepover tonight?”

Cassie had one daughter who was a year younger than Laura. You usually took Laura to work with you until Logan would get done with his job and take her home. One time Laura had been in the back playing with her dolls when Cassie came in with her daughter, complaining to you about how their babysitter had to cancel at the last minute. That was when the two girls were introduced, and they hit it off instantly (despite Laura’s quiet exterior). They would see each other occasionally at the bar, and they would talk on the phone sometimes, but this was their first time getting to hang out together in a traditional sense.

Logan pulls the drink away from his lips and sets the glass on the counter. He licks his lips and arches his eyebrow slightly before answering.

“Seemed like it, considering she didn't even say goodbye to me before she booked it into the house.”

Cassie throws her head slightly back and laughs, clapping her hands together once as she does.

“Well I’m glad, I know how...hesitant she can be sometimes.” she smiles, and heads into the back.

Logan takes another drink, leaning in a little towards you, and looks around the bar.

It was unusually quiet for a Friday night, but you had to remember that it was a small town.

“Hey, you alright?”

You snap out of your trance, shaking your head lightly as you perk up and take a deep breath in.

“Yeah, just thinking, that’s all.”

“About what?” he prods.

“Its nothing.” you give him a tight lipped smile and shove your hands in your pockets.

Your answer doesn't satisfy him, but he doesn't push. He leans back, eyebrow arched, and finishes off his drink.

You grab the glass and start to take care of it as Logan speaks again.

“Y’know its pretty quiet round here tonight...why don’t you ask your boss if you can get off early or have Cassie cover for you, cause we have the house to ourselves tonight, and that doesn't happen very often anymore.”

You turn around and smile, stretching your arms out horizontally on the counter. You lean in slightly and flirtatiously blink at Logan.

“I’ll see what I can do.” you say, looking down to his lips.

You give him a quick peck before heading to your bosses office.

***

You could feel the anticipation radiating off of Logan during the drive home, and your could see how tightly his left hand held onto the steering wheel, his right rested on your thigh.

It had been quite some time since you and Logan actually had sex. Of course you both were insatiable, but you held off a lot of the time for Laura's sake. It was mainly oral pleasure that you gave and received, as it was more inconspicuous. There was once when you two had gotten a bit carried away while Laura was outside playing, but soon she reminded you of the struggles of being intimate while having a child when she came inside to show you the snowman she had built.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, quickly using his senses to scan the house for any danger, and apparently you were safe because when you turned back around from closing the door you felt the wall against your back and his lips on yours.

Your hands reach up and hold his neck, your thumbs resting gently on his jaw.

His hands grip the tops of your hips tightly before his arms move to wrap around your waist, almost as if he was hugging you.

As you kiss your hand moves up the the side of his head pushing him into you before you pull back slightly, his lower lip stuck gently between your teeth.

He lets out a breathy groan and you two dive back in, continuing to make out.

He kicks his shoes off and starts to take off his coat, soon after pushing yours off as well. Thankfully you had taken your shoes off as you shut the door.

He starts nudging you down the slightly narrow hallway towards your bedroom, never stopping kissing you.

You break away once you make it into the room, and start to undress him, taking your shirt off as well.

“Jesus--” he marvels.

“--Did your boobs get bigger?” he asks explicitly.

You feel yourself tense up slightly, but convince yourself to calm down, he probably wouldn't think to much into it.

“I don’t think so...” you chuckle lightly and bite your lip.

“I got a few new bras the other day, remember?”

His eyes never leave your chest.

“Hmm, well, they look fuckin amazing.” and so he dives in, kissing and nipping at the soft raised mound of your bosom.

You let out soft breathy moans, and you knew you would have to wear high collared shirts for the next few days.

Logan always got like this when you were intimate again after a long while. He reverted back to his old, more animalistic ways.

He lifted his head up to kiss you again, his hands comping up to squeeze and grope your breasts before shoving off your pants.

Your hands roam all over his still toned torso, feeling yourself dampen your black panties even more as you do.

You remove yourself from him and get down on your knees, occasionally glancing up at him as you start to take off his pants and underwear.

Ever since Logan's mutation had become less and less prominent he had started taking some of the characteristics that come along with old age, one of them being it took him a little longer to get up than it used to. When it happened for the first time he was annoyed and embarrassed (though he wouldn't admit it, you could tell). You assured him that you didn't think any less of him, that he would still be able to give you the same amount of pleasure that he did before, and that it was completely natural. Logan being Logan wouldn't accept that it was “just natural” (because he thought nothing about him was), but he learned to live with it.

You slowly started to stroke his member, spitting on the tip and rubbing it around for some lubrication, then spitting on your hand and doing the same towards the base of his cock.

He groans at the contact as you pump him slowly and starts becoming more erect in your hand. You start to pick up the pace, your arm moving up and down fast, causing your breasts to jiggle lightly. Soon you were using your mouth to pleasure him as well. Your lips attached to his tip, and you start using all the techniques that you know make Logan want to implode.

Staring into his eyes occasionally as his cock finds its way further down your throat. His hands thread through your hair, softly guiding you up and down, moans and groans falling from his lips.

You continue to jerk him off where your mouth can’t reach, your other hand reaching to squeeze his balls in a pleasureful manor, soon after giving them some attention from your mouth.

The noises that are coming out of his mouth make you moan around his cock and your panties wet.

A few times you would push yourself further and try to take all of him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you do.

“Ahh that’s good baby.” he sighs, gently pulling you off him.

You release him from your mouth, still working your hand, but slower now, you peer up at him and rub his tip across your top and bottom lip, taking him in your mouth once more for a last taste of him before releasing him with a wet popping noise.

He pulls you up so that you’re standing, before he speaks.

“How the fuck are you so good at that?” he asks rhetorically.

You giggle a little and kiss him. He grabs your hips and turns you around so that your barely clothed buttocks is pressing against his groin. You turn your head to look back at him so you can continue to make out and he reaches under your arms to squeeze your still pushed up breasts, your hands flying up to cover his.

Once he releases your lips you start to walk towards the bed, taking off your bra along the way.

You lay on the bed, your forearms propping you up, bare stomach and breasts pressing against the soft sheets, your knees bent so that your feet are in the air, arching your back a bit so that your ass sticks up just enough so that your cunt would be easily accessible to him. You look back and bite your lip, giving him your “I want you” eyes.

Logan gulps and walks over to the bed his knees creating a dip on either side of your thighs.

He rubs his hands up and down your bum, occasionally smacking or jiggle it.

Eventually he slides your panties down to your knees and growls at the sight in front of him.

“Fuck, baby, you’re really wet.”

Usually you needed some encouraging to get to the point where you would be able to have Logan inside of you comfortably, but it was never a time-consuming or painstaking task(you and Logan loved some good foreplay). But lately your hormones had been raging, causing you to not have to put much effort into getting aroused.

You hum, but then moan when his thumb traces from your clit to your farthest hole, circling it a few times easily because of the natural wetness he had spread around. Your hand makes it’s way into your hair as the top of you back arches lightly, your other hand gripping the pillow.

You feel the bed dip slightly lower on the left as he leans over to grab some body oil and a condom from the bedside table drawer.

He grabs the oils first and pours it on your back and ass, massaging your body as he rubs it in. You sit back up on your elbows, bite your lip, and bring your hair over to one side because you were trying not to get it in the oil.

“Mmm that feels good.” You moan out sensually.

You feel his hands leave your back, then they are on your thighs, wiping the excess oil onto the soft flesh.

You feel the bed dip again and look to see him reach out for the box of rubbers, but only pulling out an empty box.

“Shit. There aren’t any left.”

“Yeah, remember? They were out last time too.”

You immediately regret what you had said, cringing, you squeeze your eyes shut and face-palm. You knew now that he would remember and find out.

It’s quite for longer than you are comfortable with, especially in this potion.

“Remind me again, when was that?”

“Uhm, that time when Cassie picked up Laura to go watch her daughters soccer game.”

He sets the box down slowly on the nightstand.

“...Right...”

“How long ago was that? Like three months y’think?”

It’s silent for a moment as you bite your thumb and stare nervously at the head board in front of you, deciding it was best not to answer. He clears his throat, and you tense lightly.

“Did you uhm– did you get your period this month?”

You stay silent and he gets off of you, both of you sitting to face each other, and slightly covering your body’s with the sheet.

“Is there something you need to tell me, [Y/N]?”

You feel the tears well up in your eyes when you look at him.

“I’m–I’m uh–“ you take a deep breath in through your nose, blowing out your mouth, your tears threatening to spill over at any second.

“I’m pregnant.” Your voice cracks slightly, and you can’t seem to maintain eye contact with him.

“Are you serious?”

And for the first time in a long time, you can’t tell what he is thinking.

You get up from the bed and go into the bathroom to retrieve the positive sticks you had hidden, the tears falling as you do, and you quickly wipe them away.

You come back and hand them to Logan. He grabs his bifocals, they come to rest on the tip of his nose, and he stares at each one of the positive pregnancy tests.

“Jesus...” he lets out in a shaky breath, running his hand back and forth through his hair.

You bite your lip and rub your hands together, slowly but harshly, as you wait for him to say something.

He looks up at you over the tops of his glasses, noting the fresh tracks of tears on your cheeks. You don’t look at him, only at the tests that lay on your bed, your brows knit together.

You bite your lip trying to keep the sob that was stuck in your throat from escaping.

“How long have you know?”

“About a month, maybe a month and a half.” You whisper, worrying that if you spoke in your normal tone, nothing would come out.

You didn’t know why you were crying. Maybe it was the pressure, the expectation (or the lack of it), and you just felt so confused. Confused about what to do, confused about Logan’s reaction, confused about your own reaction, and just nothing seemed to be right.

In truth, you were scared.

Logan watched another pair of tears fall.

“Come here, baby.”

He puts his arm out and you throw yourself on to his scarred and hairy chest, finally letting yourself cry.

“I just don’t know what to do.” You wail.

“I know, but we’ll figure it out.”

Your arms are wrapped securely around his waist, his wrap around your shoulder, one hand running up and your back slowly, the other was holding your head to his chest.

You listened to the sound of his heart beat and slowly start to calm down.

You sit up, pulling your hair out of your face, sniffling, and wiping away your tears.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just scared.”

“Why were you scared?” He’s asks in a tender tone, one you had only heard maybe three times in all the years you had been together.

You were hesitant to answer, shrugging your shoulders lightly before speaking in a low tone.

“I thought you might leave.”

“What?!” He says a bit harshly.

“I would never leave you [Y/N/N]. I would never do that to you, or Laura, or that baby. Never.”

You give him a shy smile, faintly nodding your head. Your eyes flick down to his lips as you lean in and kiss him, and the same hunger that was there before starts to return.

You separate from him and chuckle.

“I can’t believe this is how you found out.”

“Me neither.” He mutters in his grumbly voice.

“But, it’ll be a helluva story to tell them when they ask how I found out.”

You laugh and slide your hand up onto his thigh. He then grabs you and rolls you over unexpectedly.

“Ahh! Logan!”

“Despite all of this, I’m not letting our one night alone go to waste.”

He kisses you again, but this time your nose rubs against his glasses slightly. You separate your lips from his.

“You might want to take those off first.” You tip your chin up as if to point to his glasses.

“Damn glasses.” He mutters.

“Mmm I think you look sexy with them.” You say sensually, running your hands up his chest and over his broad shoulders.

He gives you a look of disbelief and shakes his head before taking them off and reaching to set them on the table.

“Oh shit! Look at the sheets.” you exclaim, reaching out to run your hand over the spot.

He looks over to see where you had laid and sat, it looked almost wet from the oil that he had put all over your back side.

“Well we’ll have to wash those tonight.” You sigh.

“That won’t be the only reason.” He says cheekily, diving in to kiss and suck at your neck.

“Logan!”

#wolverine #wolverine smut #wolverine x reader #wolverine imagine #old man logan imagine #old man logan #old man logan x reader #old man logan imagines #old man logan smut #logan howlett #logan howlett smut #logan howlett imagine #logan 2017 #laura kinney #laura howlett

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cripplingaddictions · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu boys when you get injured playing your sport pt.2

Oikawa, Tsukishima, Tendo, Asahi, Kageyama

Summary: The first one was really fun to write, so here is part 2! This is some others and how I think they’d react when you get hurt during sport!

Warnings: Explicit mention of blood and open wounds

A/N: I’d like to thank everyone for over 100 followers! Yes, I know that doesn’t seem like many but it’s a big deal to me, so thank you!! I also appreciate the patience with my messed up writing schedule <3 ...Tendo’s got really long and Kageyama’s got a little angsty whoops

Oikawa:

As one who suffers from a sport injury himself, Oikawa is constantly aware of the possibility

Reminds you before every game of hockey to stay safe

His tone may be lighthearted when he says it, but he’s very serious

He knows the ins and outs of stretching and the recovery process for injuries

Usually, he doesn’t come to your games, mostly because he’s busy or he's afraid of getting recognised

When you get home or see him next, he’d ask out the game and listen with excitement and interest

He definitely does research on the game too

This time, he was so glad he went

To avoid being recognised, he wore a cap and sunglasses, standing at the back of the spectators

His height allowed him to easily watch you from the crowd

You were really hyped for the game, knowing your opponents were going to be tough

Unfortunately, your team was struggling with the game

The other team was scoring goal after goal, and you couldn’t keep up

You ran back to defend the goal, in the way for an approaching player

They were ready to score, and you were ready to dive in

The urgency and pressure of the situation got to your head, and you ran towards them with anger

You let out a cry, charging towards the hockey ball

In the back of your mind, you knew Oikawa wouldn’t be impressed with how you lost your patience

And you were right

He treaded closer to the game, his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed

“Y/N... Don’t get ahead of yourself”

He whispered, wishing you could hear him

Your opponent placed the ball in position to swing for goal

But you had gotten too far ahead of yourself

They swung their hockey stick

Your ankle was in the way

Usually, you wouldn’t be too bothered, bruises littering your ankle for a week after

This time, the stick was made of aluminium

The impact and pain that shot through your ankle brought you to the ground

Pain unbearable, you dropped your own stick and held your food

“Ow, ow, ow”

You mumbled sloppily, tears, saliva, and snot dribbling over your lips

You wanted to stand up and keep playing but the pain continued like an unforgiving clamp tightening on your ankle

Suddenly aware of how you look, you wiped your mouth from the fluids

You heard a whistle blow, but the pain caused for stars to dance in your vision

“Y/N-chan, eyes up here”

The stars from your eyes cleared, the sight of your boyfriend crouching next to you on the field shining through

You couldn’t form words, not that they would have helped

He immediately moved to take your shoe off, seeing how it had already started to swell

It blew up like a balloon before your very eyes

“I’ll carry you”

Oikawa whispered, sliding an arm around your back and the other securely under your knees

Lifting you up, he escorted you off the field

He didn’t let you ride in the ambulance your coach called by yourself, holding your hand the whole way

It was definitely a bad break, being a pain through the recovery process as you could hardly apply any pressure on the foot

You were in a cast, and Oikawa wrote a lovey-dovey message on it that took up half the space

Once you were out of it Oikawa knew all the right physiological stretches in order to get you back on your feet to play again

He did a great job taking care of you, and you couldn't thank him more

Tsukishima:

Doesn’t effect your relationship that you were into swimming as that was not why he loved you

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like how you are training so hard for it

It’s the passion and love for swimming that he wishes he had for volleyball

To be honest, Tsukishima wouldn’t be worried about you getting hurt

He thinks swimming is not a very hazardous sport

Which is fairly true, so you don’t get injured during a specific race or anything

Your injury shows up slowly over time

Originally you shook it off, expecting that the soreness in your shoulders was just your muscles tired after a long two hours of lap after lap

However, it started getting worse, and you began to tell Tsukishima your concerns

He’d say something like, “Then just take your time at training. I can’t do anything about it. What did you expect me to say?”

Let’s be real, he’s kind of worried

Especially as he began to notice how you would wince after taking your bag off your shoulders, or if you reached up to the top shelf

The day he realised that you needed to get them checked out was when you had walked to his place after training

The whole walk there the straps of your bag felt a lot heavier

Your shoulders hurt, but the left was the worst one by fair

Shifting the weight of your bag to your right shoulder, you gave the left a rest

Soon enough you knocked on Tsukishima’s door and he opened quickly after

You dropped your bag inside the door and rubbed your shoulder

“Oi, Y/N, are you okay?”

Tsukishima asked, the way your sighed making his eyebrows furrow ever so slightly

“Yeah, but my shoulder is pretty bad”

You tell him, hoping that he’ll show some sympathy

He scooped up your bag and called for you to follow him to the couch

He left you there, leaving momentarily to drop your bag with your wet swimmers into the laundry

Soon, he plopped down on the couch beside you and turned on the tv

Carefully, he pulled you onto his lap and you instinctively dropped your head onto his shoulder

Instead of huffing slightly like he usually did, you pushed you forward

“No, sit towards my knees”

You obeyed him, and he hovered his fingers over your shoulders

Smiling once you realised what he was going to do, you let him work his nibble fingers into your shoulders

He stopped if you whined, asking where to go from there

It really helped, you never realised how good Tsukishima was with his fingers (no... not like that)

You were putty in his hands, completely relaxed as you watched the tv

Once you felt the tension was mostly gone, Tsukishima scooted out from underneath you to book a scan

When you had it, you discovered you had Bursitis

(A/N: I have this in my shoulder and it sucks)

This required for lots of rest, icing, and careful exercise

You were off swimming for almost three months before Tsukishima was convinced that you could handle tending to it afterwards

When you got back to swimming, you wore a sling on the worst days and Tsukishima carried your bag for you

He raised his hand in class if you needed to ask a question, and made sure you never had to overexert your left arm

His favourite thing to do was tease you even more about having to get him to get stuff off the top shelves

You were shorter than him, but now you need him even more

When you use your condition as a counterargument he always says “aww, poor baby Y/N”

No doubt, he does certainly cared for you, but get ready for a long road ahead for the both of you

Tendo:

You’re a figure skater! And how he loves to watch you skate!

He gets so excited, you have no idea

Whether you are in a competition, or if you are just practicing, he gets so giddy and proud while watching you glide across the ice

Thinks you look so good in the costumes, no matter your body type

If you were to have to travel internationally for a competition, you bet he’d be coming with you

Tendo does get into trouble when he disturbs your practise at the rink

But you always invite him to watch any time, not caring what your coach thought

Super supportive of you, it’s not funny

However, what is funny is that he has no idea all the technical terms or how the point system works

So, when he watches you during a comp, he’ll greet you off the ice with:

“BABE, THAT FANCY THING YOU DID WITH YOUR ARMS AFTER YOU LANDED FROM THE SPINNING-TOP-JUMPY-THING YOU DID WAS SO SEXY! YOU’VE GOT TO WIN! YOU LOOKED SO GOOD, MY PARADISE”

You double over in laughter every time he says something like that

You only just manage out a “Thank you, Tori” before you’re ushered off to get your score

The score you were appointed is half decent, placing you in third place

When you go to find Tendo so you can sit with him while watching the rest of the skaters, he appalled

“PARADISE, YOU DESERVED MUCH BETTER THAN THAT! I’D HAVE GIVEN YOU A 634.53!!”

“Satori, that’s basically impossible for a short program”

“I DON’T CARE BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU DESERVE”

It’s kind of embarrassing, in a large rink of people, for him to be yelling like that

But... it’s all because he thinks you are incredibly talented

Which is very sweet

Anyways, you injure yourself at practice

Tendo had just got of his volleyball practice at Shiratorizawa and decided to swing by the rink

You were staying in late, your coach and the rest of the skaters had gone home, so it was just you and a few workers at the rink

Tendo burst in, the goofy grin on his face that cases his eyes to be forced shut by the adorable purity of it

You were focusing on a quadruple axel that you hadn’t perfected when he arrived

“Good evening, paradise! How are you-”

You had been halfway through the jump when you peeled your eyes open

Immediately happy to see him, you smiled brightly

But, your excitement cost you the landing

You slipped, landing harshly onto the ice on your hip with a thud, the water soaking into your tights

“Y/N!”

Tendo dropped his bags, running and sliding his lanky body across the ice on his knees to where you had sprawled out

There was certainly going to be really bad bruise there, you could tell

But the coolness of the ice made your hip numb to the pain

“Are you okay? I scared you, didn’t I?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way Tendo was leaning over you, now having soaked knees too

“Yeah, you did”

“Let’s take you home and have a nice warm shower, hey?”

You agreed, leading him off the ice with both of your hands in his, because the psycho had run onto the ice with no skates on

The two of you walked home, the whole time you noticing the numbness leaving your hip

While having your shower, you checked your hip to find a dark purple bruise the size of your hand, raw to the touch

You took a shower, afterwards putting on some underwear and one of your boyfriend’s large shirts

Leaving your room, you enter the living room find Tendo sprawled on the couch

He made a comment about how good you look, leaving you giggling

You grabbed an icepack from the freezer and a tea towel to wrap it in

Laying on top of Tendo, you rolled on your side to have your bruised hip facing the ceiling

“Whatcha got there?”

Tendo asked

You flashed the icepack in front of his face, before quickly wrapping it up

Pulling the oversized shirt over your hip, you exposed the bruise to your boyfriend

“This is what you did to me, you scary man”

You joke, poking him in the cheek

The colour drained from his face in a split second, and he let out a cry of agony

“No! I’m so sorry! How can I make you feel better?”

He leaned over you, pressing scattered kisses over the bruise and mumbling sorry between each one

You knew he was trying to be feathery with his kisses, but the slightest pressure hurt

So, you pushed his head away

“Ow, Tori, that hurts. You can hold the ice for me”

He does as he’s told and you thank him, kindly

He has eagle eyes on you constantly after that, acting like your personal bodyguard

Makes sure he’s always on the side that is bruised at school, so that no one can bump it

Lines your bed with pillows, as to not accidentally bump it on the wall

Stops you from walking if you don’t have to, in which you tell him he’s fine

You try reassuring him by saying that it could have been worse, but that makes him even more wary when you skate knowing that worse could happen to you

Asahi:

He’s adorable, constantly being supportive during your games of netball

Out of everyone, he’s the most likely to be worried about possible injury

Even though it’s a fairly safer sport, Asahi makes sure that you are reminded of every possible scenario that he had made up in his head before a game

You’d shut him up with a kiss to the lips, but he’ll be trembling when you walk away

Understands the game, not needing much help with keeping up with points or rules

He’ll calm down eventually while watching you play, focusing on silently praising you

Secretly a fan of the uniform, don’t tell anyone - he’d be so embarrassed

Doesn’t come to practice often because of the clashes with his volleyball training

When you got injured during a game, thank goodness Nishinoya had joined him to cheer you on

The energy Nishinoya brought to the sidelines motivated Asahi to cheer more too

Usually, you’d wave to him after getting a point and he’d wave back

But you could actually hear him because of Noya

You had in the back of your head to thank him for bringing him out of his shell

Have of the reason he never went to your practice because he was scared the other players would have thought he was some creepy middle-aged man there to stare at them in their uniforms

That’s why he always came to your games without fail, to make up for it and because he felt safer from a distance

However, Nishinoya had dragged him to the front, which he was hesitant about at first

But when he saw how excited you were to see him so close made him smile

You were in perfect position to receive the ball in order to shoot

Your teammates passed back and forth, approaching you slowly

“I’m free! Guys!”

You gained their attention, and they sent the ball your way

You caught it and immediately shot for the goal while the opponents were distracted

“Come on, Y/N!”

Both Nishinoya and Asahi shouted, Noya obviously the loudest

The first shot missed, but you quickly caught it and shot again

This time, the ball landed through the hoop and the whistle blown to confirm that it was a point

You could hear Asahi and Nishinoya celebrating on the sidelines

Pumping your fists in the air, you brushed your forearm against the goal post

A nail had been sticking out of it, slicing through your skin

You immediately hissed, the pain stinging dramatically

You grab your arm, searching to find a massive gash down the length of your forearm

Blood poured from the wound and you called your coach

They immediately brought you off once they saw the red liquid

Asahi was worried, slipping around to where you were holding a towel to your arm

Hissing in pain, you found Asahi approaching

“Y-Y/N, what happened?”

He could see the pain laced into your face, shaking nervously

You wanted to hide it, afraid of how he would react

Carefully, you removed the damp cloth from the wound with a hiss as the air hit the tenderness

“I’m gonna need stitches”

You hissed through your teeth, turning to show Asahi

By then Nishinoya had arrived by Asahi, and at the perfect time

One look at the way your arm had been split open with blood gushing from the open wound...

And Asahi had fainted

Luckily Nishinoya was there to catch him and lower him to the ground

Now you were more worried for Asahi than yourself, to be honest

With Asahi out of commission, your coach had to take you to get you almost twenty stitches

Nishinoya stayed back to make sure Asahi woke up safely, and when he did, he was anxiously asking where you were and how you were

Asahi dropped into your place after finding out you were out of hospital, pulling you into a hug

Of course you made sure he was okay after his episode too

Constant tender touches while you healed, and soft kisses over the patch on your arm

He treated you like an absolute princess, especially after Nishinoya had scared him again by saying “I think she’ll need to get it amputated” right after he woke up

Fainted again when he went with you to get the stitches removed

Kageyama:

This boy does not get rugby at all

He tries, because he’s smart enough to pick it up if he wanted to

But, he’s more impressed with sports that involve more ‘thinking and skill’

What is impressive to him, however, is how fit and strong you are

Even though he is still taller than you, he almost feels like you are the bigger person in the relationship with the muscle you have

Likes being small spoon with your figure

Silently admires your athletic ability, and thinks you are really cool whenever you make a massive run down the field

Kageyama likes to watch when you win

He gets so blushy and excited when you bound into his arms after a good game

Unfortunately, he’s very busy with volleyball, unable to make many training sessions or games

He tries his hardest to be at your training grounds in time to walk home with you

He tries to keep his Saturday’s free to be with you or at your games

Recently, he had been even more busy, and this week he couldn’t make it too

This team had been tough, with a lot of bigger players

You were sort of struggling to break past them, unable to score any tries

All you remember was receiving the ball, trying to break through the wall they had created

You had run headfirst into the players, and the next thing you knew...

You woke up in hospital

Your head was wrapped up, and it thumped painfully

Trying to sit up hurt your head, so you laid back down

With how fuzzy your head was, you failed to notice Kageyama sitting in the corner with a carton of milk

He had been anxiously twiddling his thumbs while emptying carton after carton

When your eyes opened, he shot up, hurrying to your bedside

You finally noticed him, smiling softly at the pout on his lips and the shine of glossiness in his eyes

“Tobio...”

Even speaking hurt your head

“Don’t speak if it hurts”

Kageyama basically read your mind, taking your hand in his and placing your open palm on his cheek

“You’re such a dumbass, scaring me like that”

He rested his head on the bed next to you on the bed

You glided your thumb over his cheek, watching as the pout on his lips began to tremble slightly

Whining slightly in order to awe at him, you whispered

“I’m sorry...”

“Why did it happen the one game I can’t make it... damn it... I should have been there”

You shifted your head, ignoring the pain, in order to get a better view of him

His dark blue eyed were sparkling with tears, and you mumbled

“No... baby...”

Kageyama ignored you, turning to press his face into the white sheet on your thighs, blinking back his tears

“I was scared...”

He mumbled in a cracked voice into your thigh

You took his face in your hands and carefully pulled him towards your face

Giving him a kiss to his nose, you let him lay his head on your chest

“Don’t cry... I’m here”

You croaked, threading your fingers through his raven hair

The recovery process was long and hard, having received severe head trauma

You were in hospital for another day after you woke up for tests and to make sure you could stand without fainting

Kageyama stayed with you the entire time, only leaving when your parents insisted he get some sleep

After this, your parents were certain you could marry him, not kidding

He treated you like glass whenever he saw you, especially when you took the time off school

He would accidentally yell at you if he saw you up and about, but immediately took it back and apologised

Poor Hinata got all of Kageyama’s pent up anger about everything, being unable to yell at you

When you return to school, he’s like your shadow, following you around and making sure you’re drinking enough water

Reassure him that it wasn’t his fault and that you’re not going anywhere

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mousemilf · 2 years

Note

WC anon again. U don’t really need a strong case to get medical care, and if at any point your case is deemed not work related you can request a QME to reeval. Going to your own doctor is fine they just might refuse to do anything (but be sure you tell your doctor straight up that it is work related anyway bc work comp clinic will request records from them). I do work comp as a provider, we do kinda side eye people who went to their doctor and were sent to us because if you didn’t think it was work related why should we? But just in a “let’s think a little harder about whether this case is legit” way. And if you went because you didn’t know the process or were discouraged by your job that’s different. We see a lot of fraud but it’s usually ppl who don’t have an actual injury (or like, ppl who claim a 20 lb box hit the side of my arm 6 mo ago and now I can’t use it at all and am in 10/10 pain 24/7). And even then we tend to treat them. If u have real symptoms then the worst that will happen is they say there’s not enough proof of causation to treat as work related & you go to your doctor after all. Or I guess worst would be that they fire you and you don’t get your worker’s comp pay for months but you’re still covered by them for medical care. But if u were considering leaving anyway that might be ok. Also like, can your job not be done sitting down?

Thank you so so so much!!! I'll make sure to bring that up at my appointment and ask them to make note of it. This is amazing advice tbh I haven't been able to find much helpful abt it online and it's wonderful to just randomly hear from someone w expertise!!!

I am planning on quitting sometime soon anyway bcs I honestly just can't do this anymore. Even without my knee being so fucked up I like "snapped" this week and realized that this job is kind of ruining my life I'm always sick and exhausted and I don't feel like I have time or energy for anything else that I want to do. It's sad bcs the work itself is something that I love love love love love it's just that the hours are completely inhumane. I worked 4am-6pm last Friday for instance.

And no, I can't sit to do it :-( I'm a cake decorator... Lots of leaning pivoting bending etc :/ which is stupid bcs I'm literally fine doing this for 8hr shifts it's just the 14 hour shifts... Like no one normal could do that long term.

Anyway thank u so much!! Ur so helpful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#ic #anon

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juuls · 3 years

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Pharmacist/Me = 1 🏆 Doctor/Nursing Staff = 0

Thank you in advance for reading this rant. I’ve been really frustrated and just needed to get this off my chest, and today at least I had a wonderful knight in a white lab coat. 🩺❤️‍🩹🥽🥼💪🏻

Content warnings and squicky squicks: (further down there is) an image of a medical vial with a clipped image of a more benign part of a syringe, health conditions (endometriosis, fibromyalgia), menstrual cycles and associated terms such as bleeding and other things, lack of empathy in my specific healthcare system, hysterectomies, pain, swearing and losing patience. Most important warning: self-administered syringes and injection discussions of legal medications (Depo-Provera) approved of by professionals and properly researched. P.S. this may sound rather Karen-like but I would never do this to someone’s face. Online ranting and acknowledging where I could do better is not the same as screaming in public for bossy requests or comps, etc. Ew.

Another ‘warning’… pharmacists being kick-ass allies and giving a damn about their patients.

I’m really annoyed because (and I know healthcare and scheduling is a clusterfuck right now, but…) for over a month now I’ve been trying to get an appointment in person to get this injectable medication that is, yes, birth control, but is also used for endometriosis in my case. And I have severe endometriosis (exacerbated severely by fibromyalgia, siiiiigh) to the point I bleed enough and lose so much I have to go to the hospital when my care is not properly preventative… like in this case, and the pain is unbelievably severe also to the point I’ve spent time in the hospital, including my 11th Christmas Eve and Day. I started this injectable medication at 13 because it was the only thing that came close to helping reduce my endometrial tissue. Even a hysterectomy wouldn’t help as much, unless they decided to go the super invasive route and remove all the organs (or parts of them) that had become ‘infected’ by the tissue. Again, tissue where it’s not supposed to be, and it causes extreme pain as the tissue tries to flush out of my body each period, even if it’s attached to, like, my pancreas. Just no. That does not work at all. No. That is not fun.

SO. I’m 31, nearing 32, and the doctor’s office knows this. I’ve had the same doctor since I was 10. Been on this medication nearly non-stop for just shy of two decades (with appropriate precautions such as bone density tests) because of the absolute severity of the pain and my inability to function when it hits… which can be months at a time of non-stop bleeding and morning sickness-level nausea and vomiting, migraines and the occasional complete inability to move—in other words, it’s debilitating.

My doctor (even the nurses, as it’s in large print at the top of my file in the system) knows all about this. They’re supposed to call me if I’m overdue by a certain margin (I get they’re busy but months and months???). But my doc’s also a bit of an airhead (albeit a smart one when he focuses) and takes forever to reply to anything on time, even when it’s a severe issue, but not severe enough to go to the hospital. But it’s gotten to the point where the nurses say to go to the ER and then the ER nurses and doctors there get SUPER pissed off (AT ME AND SOMEHOW NOT AT MY DOCTOR/NURSES AND THEIR ORDERS) at the ‘waste of time’, and it’s just a clusterfuck.

Oh yeah, and that ER visit while I was overdue for my injection? Internal intestinal bleeding along with a lovely, even if small, perforation in my fucking uterus from the growth of endometrial tissue. I MEAN COME ON — WHAT IN THE HELL. Totally preventable if they fit me in when I called literally over a month ago.

But I will not change my doctor (the other docs at the practice know what is going on and have offered to take me on, but they don’t have the experience with myself and my conditions or the history, but they can do little else because of professional conduct—it’s between myself and my doc) because he is the only one who treats me with humanity and understands fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pre-MS and pre-RhA/PsA, endo-related IBS, (ulcerative) colitis, and other neurological conditions with any degree of empathy. (See, I told you I’m a mess!) There is no way I’m switching offices in the perpetual shortage of doctors in Canada moving elsewhere for m o n e y (plus Covid-19 being a teen hooligan and constantly coming back to wreck more goddamn shit, including everyone’s sanity, then setting things on fire like the real hooligans in my village have been doing this summer — I mean… what in the hell!?!?), so with all that in mind I actually thank my lucky stars. So I put up with a lot of this shit because he treats me, besides him being an airhead, like an actual human being deserving of compassion and care and quality of life despite my severe disabilities and pain. So.

I’m usually treated really well (even if they often think I’m a nuisance for daring to be severely chronically ill/in pain all the time) so I try to be patient and good and understanding when I can.

But his STAFF (I know they’re busy and I’ve been patient but they’ve been so awful honestly to the point I cried hard enough my dad noticed my red eyes and frustration-tear fracks on my face)! And the doc himself’s inability to reply to notes on time even when urgent and when he knows the circumstances (I admit I am a bit of a hard patient so I can understand if he just kinda ignores me sometimes, honestly). But in this case I was THREE DAMN MONTHS LATE for my injection and they’ve always called in the past when I was coming due if it looked like I hadn’t scheduled an injection, so that I was all on time and squared away and didn’t risk severe pain and damage to my already-fucked hormonal system (learning I couldn’t have kids was absolutely heartbreaking, let me tell you, but even a hysterectomy in that case would solve nothing — this is by far the easiest option, especially considering how my fibromyalgia would fuck with my post-surgery recovery and leave me with lasting pain for years if not decades; sigh).

Anyway. So. After some ridiculous levels of back and forth and some truly remarkable levels of lack of compassion (she kept giving me the exact same, word for word response in a bored tone UGH) considering the severe pain I was in (I was told, in front of OTHER PATIENTS AND STAFF, that I could just wait until I talk to the doctor myself at my next phone appointment and then schedule my injection for my next MONTHLY followup — 4.5 months overdue at that point, it would’ve been — because, and I quote, ‘am used to dealing with pain because of my fibromyalgia and years of dealing with it and other conditions’ which they named in front of others!!!!!!!! what. the. fuck. But I kept my cool because I know all these people, my mom taught their kids music, they’re a fixture of the community, etc. and I refuse to be a Karen…. At least externally.

But here comes the nice part that makes me love our new (okay, he’s been here like 5 years but still, in a small town that’s pretty new lmao) pharmacist that much more. Rasik was aware of my frustration with the doctor and nurses and was even the one who brought to my attention that, at the time, I was 2 months late for my injection and he was a bit concerned since he’s privy to how much pain I exist in without throwing in one or more knives directly into my womb, ovaries, tummy, hips, and other areas my endometrial tissue has taken root. He’s such a sweetheart and he really does care for his patients— the work he does with my father’s diabetes (the tricky one where you’re not obese) management is above and beyond the call of a pharmacist and I will forever be grateful for that alone, never mind how he cares for me.

So I went in today to pick up another medication, after yet another frustrating stop-over at the nurses’ desks, and he suggested I ask for my injectable medication (it’s Depo-Provera, by the way) and the syringe plus the two tips necessary — I’m actually familiar with this since I had to learn epinephrine injections from an early age (not Epipen) and how to give testosterone daily to my ex-husband (sorry not sorry, dude, but congrats on your first kid *grouchy thumbs up*). But yeah! Legally he’s not allowed to suggest I give it to myself, but he was getting super fed up with the nurses and doctors dragging their feet and ‘being assholes with little empathy’ in his own words, so I took the hint and requested my vial plus syringe, as well as the drawing and injection gauge needles…. which he gleefully filled for me, and I reiterated that it was ‘fully my idea, not yours, Rasik, because everyone knows I’m dumb and would never think it’s you if something happened’ (I’m not dumb and I’ve given injections to others many times looool).

Long story short: HERE’S TO PHARMACISTS AROUND THE WORLD, BEING AMAZING AND CARING FOR THEIR PATIENTS AND ‘BENDING BUT NOT REALLY BENDING’ THE RULES TO MAKE SURE THEIR CLIENTS ARE CARED FOR PROPERLY. They are amazing and deserve every last bit of your courtesy, especially when they pull double duty every. single. day. because of Covid and their subsequent boosters. (i.e. boosters in the form of humans who are fucking stupid if they have no medical reason not to get the vaccine… I mean JFC.)

Rasik? You are amazing and I am 100% going to find you some Indian-Canadian (or North Indian; I believe that’s where he’s from originally) treats or desserts or make some myself after slyly asking his assistant what he leans toward liking.

Be kind to one another, yeah, but… my goodness: be kind to those who can truly make a difference in your health, sanity, and even life or death.

Pharmacists, volunteers, and frontline health workers: the true heroes of these times.

Thank you so much. So very much.

💜💙🇨🇦👨🏽‍⚕️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

P.S. … now I just gotta stab myself intramuscularly after making sure there’s no air bubbles and etc., and swap out to the proper gauge needle (different, smaller, to draw from the vial, larger to inject so that it goes in more quickly and, oddly enough, hurts less haha). I don’t think air bubbles are as much of an issue as when injecting intravenously (ummm I have a doctor uncle and grandma nurse and nurse friends, so shush 😆). But I’ve done this for others and animals so I should be good! :)

I’m a smart enough cookie even if I’ve lost a few nibble-size pieces around the edges. 😉😘 buahaha

Cheers to my pharmacist!!!! You are amazing and I can’t wait for the pain and months and months of bleeding to settle down.

Remind me again why humans are the only mammals (animals?) with monthly fluxes? UGH wtf ever. 🙃

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rwbyconversations · 5 years

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Rooster Teeth Glassdoor Crunch/Overtime Accusations #AnimatorsFirst

EDIT: Georden Whitman, former creator of Nomad of Nowhere, has come out and publicly confirmed the Glassdoor reviews are true.

Original story:

Rooster Teeth’s Glassdoor reviews have recently made serious allegations against the company, with people who work for the company claiming that the company engages in practices involving heavy crunch periods, a resistance to providing benefits, eighty hour work weeks, a management team trying to justify crunch and unpaid overtime that, according to some, led to as much as a third of RWBY and gen;LOCK’s recent seasons being made effectively for free.

Below are screencaps and exact quotes from the pages. Any emphasis made is done by me.

From May 23rd this year, as written by an employee with three years experience at RT:

Cons

Program scheduling department has no idea how to time budget for animation, has resulted in unnecessary, preventable crunch Company takes on projects that are too big for it to manage effectively Not the highest pay compared to Anim Guild standards Open office space, gets noisy

Advice to Management

Management has been using a weird method to try and deescalate hard feelings about crunch. They’re acting like counselors who are “there to talk” and to try and find “coping mechanisms” to deal with crunch. This is a terrible idea considering that none of them are trained counselors as far as I’m aware, but more-so, they’re obviously going to be biased in favor of what they want from us. It makes me want to communicate with them even less. This past review, my manager criticized me for having “negative energy” during a terrible crunch period where we were working over 80 hrs s week, and told me I should “look for the silver lining” which is just bad advice. Advice to management is to stop pretending you know anything about mental health and also be less passive - fight harder for your team.

From May 13th, an employee with a year’s experience at Rooster Teeth:

Cons

The management is terrible. Artists are lead on with the promises of "full time employment and benefits" dangled in front of them without ever being addressed and ultimately are never given, there is no paid overtime, artists had to fight for their right to time off between productions, and good luck getting any form of benefits despite them being plastered on the wall.

Advice to Management

You're not a group of guys playing halo in your apartment anymore. Please run your business and look at what's happened to it.

From June 11th this year, from an employee who has been working at the company for five years:

Cons

- Extremely poor management (Some of it is negligence, some of it is just accidental from the sheer amount of work. Upper management is also extreme bro/friends club.) - Insanely high expectations (animate a 10-14 min episode in 2 weeks) - Very low compensation (I've worked here for years and make entry pay. Some people have gone MULTIPLE years with no raise) - No overtime pay (Every season of RWBY and GL gets about 1/3 or less made for 'free' because no one gets paid over time and it's not uncommon to work hundreds of hours of overtime) - Toxic work environment (there are a lot of cliques, complaining and even making fun of other people and depts here. It never gets punished so it always happens. Not professional) - You know something is going right when after many complaints HR reminds everyone you have "unlimited" mental health doctor appointments... I could honestly go on and on like an emo on Myspace in 2007 but I'll reign it in. I'll leave it at this since I've seen many fans read these and be skeptical. It's not great. You can deny it but there is a lot of evidence if you just accept it. And the reason you work here is cus you get stuck and are promised "It'll get better". The work is low quality (hard to get jobs elsewhere), pay is low (can't save money) and life/work balance is a joke. We have a bit of balance now but it's only for a couple months out of the year when production isn't in full swing. Then it's back in the meat grinder.

Advice to Management

You NEED to listen to the workers and make hard decisions and actually fight for better conditions. It's been far far too long of "it'll get better" or "we know what to do next year". This isn't sustainable and I think we all know it. But someone has to be the guy to say "no" when things aren't good enough. If you don’t say no, hundreds of people suffer. Please.

From May 18th:

Cons

Crunch has gotten to an unacceptable level. Productions have been completed with over half of total hours unpaid overtime, especially impacting the comp and editing department. Management cares more about their ego than the quality of the work they put out— letting the crunch caused by their irresponsible decisions fall solely on the shoulders of the artists while they enjoy a forty hour work week. Pay is laughable compared with the amount of mandated, unpaid hours of labor. No career advancement, and contract workers are given empty promises of full time employment before being shown the door once production is done.

Advice to Management

Stop saying the crunch issue is “getting better” or that you’re “working on it”, and start actually owning up to your mistakes.

From May 19th:

Cons

-A lot of employees brought on, if not all, before the last development cycle were promised permanent positions after a 90 day trial period. As those dates approached those artists saw no change, asking their leads what was going on. The guidance from higher ups was vague at best, and some felt like they had been forced to lie to employees during the interview process. - A lot of processes went over-scope due to poor planning. -Lack of actual production experience in the management side of things is no longer something that can be glossed over as the company tries to take on more industry vetted employees. -Crunch is extreme and overtime is not compensated for, nor is that time given back in any fair amount.

Advice to Management

-Clear and concise communication -Re-structure your upper level management

From May 12th:

Cons

Crunch here is out of control. No Paid OT. Expect to work A LOT for free. 70-80 hour work weeks. Mandatory 10-12 hour work days sometimes with no days off. Management is more interested in telling you what you want the hear as opposed to the truth.

Advice to Management

Fix the crunch issue and stop saying 'we're working on it'.... because you're not. Layoffs are certain. Will layoff bad employees and good employees in the same breath, completely eliminating any reason to work as hard as you're required to do. Fix your transparency issue and stop overworking your employees otherwise your reputation will severely suffer.

From April 5th:

Cons

-No paid overtime. -Crunch is a major problem in the animation department due to unrealistic deadlines, poor planning, and indecisiveness. (Mandatory 10 to 12 hour days for multiple months are common.) -Stress levels are often very high due to harsh deadlines -Some of the producers tend to lie. -Promotions are used as a morale booster, not actual career advancement. -Hardly any time for Professional Development -Professionalism can be a bit scarce (for example people would draw penises on the boards throughout the studio)

Advice to Management

-Management needs to seriously figure out how to deal with the crunch issue. A question was asked at an all hands meeting: "How are you going to handle crunch this year?" Instead of giving a clear answer, the head of the RT animation department completely dodged the question. If you don't know how you are going to tackle a problem, try saying, "I don't know. I will get back with you ASAP." Then actually pursue a solution to the problem. Dodging questions makes you look shady and untrustworthy. -Improve production plans and make sure you have enough resources to complete your projects. If you are going to work on two shows at the same time, then you need to double ALL of your teams along the pipeline, not just one. If you can barely get one project done with your current resources, you certainly cannot finish two. If you can't get the resources needed to complete the projects, then it's probably best to keep them small or to simply not do them at all. Pushing your teams beyond the breaking point is not the wisest decision. If you continue with your overambitious ways, it will backfire in the long run. Telltale Games' closure and Bioware's Anthem debacle are examples of what's to come if you do not improve your production practices and get crunch under control. -Get more training on how to manage people. There are plenty of programs out there that can help management understand how to work with various types of personalities. There were some situations where I noticed that some leads and producers simply did not know how to talk to a person when there was a problem. Despite all of the criticism I just wrote, I feel the majority of who work at Rooster Teeth Productions are decent people. However, the management is just terrible. Put some of that ambition you have into fixing your problems internally instead of putting it into meeting those unrealistic deadlines.

From March 25th:

Cons

- Massive amounts of unpaid overtime. All while touting the importance to the company of a life/work balance. They promise to give you the time back, but it will be impossible to take. - Management is just a joke. They can’t schedule or stay on track to save their lives. Total amateur hour. - Zero followthrough on promises made. How about a pizza party? - Pay much lower than standard. Don’t expect real raises. Promotions with increased responsibilities don’t come with comparable pay bumps. - Most promises of advancement and opportunities are hollow wishful thinking. - Almost zero followthrough with meaningful investment in employee education. You can access a Udemy account and that’s about it. - Management will blame the artists instead of taking responsibility and will even through people under the bus to cover themselves. - Internet celebs are more valuable than artists. - Their awards are called “cockbite of the month/year” and it’s what they call their employees. You may not want to be called that but that’s too bad. It’s their culture. A few guys draw penises everywhere to be funny. - Not very much diversity in management. Feels like you need to be a straight white male to be appreciated.

Advice to Management

Hire some actual seasoned industry professionals to upper management in Animation. And demonstrate there are some consequences for them, instead of taking it out on employees.

From April 11th:

Cons

-Overtime, and hours will cause any person to slowly become something they don't like. -Management is typically made up of "talent" and treats other employees poorly, not to mention 0 years of previous managerial experience. -Management also blames other employees for the problems they create, and don't show actual leadership. -Echo chambers within management. -Stress levels incredibly high -Lack of professionalism

Advice to Management

-Get rid of "talent" in managerial roles, it's clear they're costing the company serious problems and money. The ones who end up being hurt are the employees who knew and constantly warned about problems ahead of time that were ignored. If the company stays the same a huge incident is bound to follow. -Try to respect creatives that aren't "talent" within the company as well. It's clear management doesn't and goes against the entirety of the company's "core values." those who have had previous industry experience should be listened to and considered instead of being shrugged off and given responses like "Well that's just how we do things." -Collaboration doesnt seem to exist for a majority of managment here. If this one massive change happens the company could really grow far and do much more than create crude content with a lack of care/heart for the final product. -If people are able to sleep and have a normal schedule more thoughtful input will also happen, and your content can only get better. -A multitude of people and lives have been hurt from management at this company, from in house employees being mentally abused to freelancers that are ghosted. So many immature and poor practices have taken place within the animation department I'm amazed a lawsuit has yet to happen. -Management should be leaders not bosses.

It’s almost darkly funny that most of the positives are just “They give you free food on Mondays and the people are nice.”

But these are all from just the last year alone. Most reviews from before the start of 2019 don’t speak of crunch barring one from April 2018, one from March 2018 and one from June. This is a problem that has been affecting Rooster Teeth for at least an entire year, and since the start of the new year, the problem has magnified tenfold. Most reviews mention that the heads of departments are aware of the crunch and unpaid overtime but refuse to do anything about it beyond offering platitudes or dodging the question on what the company is going to actually do to fix the crunch problem.

Crunch is a problem plaguing many companies, especially in the western hemisphere. In gaming development there’s a story nearly every month about what apathetic upper management think they can get away with by forcing employees to spend dozens of hours every week slaving away on their product. I hoped that Rooster Teeth would not be one of these companies, but I am saddened to see that they were not.

Crunch’s negative effects on mental and physical health have been well documented, alongside the basic fact that crunch isn’t worth it and doesn’t work. Employees forced to crunch are unable to work as well as employees who are well rested and have time to go home to their families.

To anyone working these impossible crunch hours at Rooster Teeth right now, I hope your suffering ends soon, that eventually basic human empathy wins out and hours are lessened while you receive your just rewards for your work.

For @roosterteeth? This is appalling and a slap in the face to the fanbase you conned into thinking that you were a company that cared for everyone within as a huge family. Your entire management team should be ashamed of the environment you signed off on. No profit margin is worth the suffering you have subjected your crew to. Shame on you.

As a fan of RWBY, it disgusts me that a product I enjoy was made through blood, sweat and tears. And as a fan of RWBY, I wish to make a public call to the fanbase, be it on Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter or Youtube. I want to make a public statement to Rooster Teeth that we are willing to wait longer for new shows if it means that they are made ethically. I can’t in good conscience support a product if it was made by putting the workers through hell. Maybe I can’t change anything on my own, maybe ultimately we’ll just be ignored, but I refuse to stand by and stay silent on the matter, maybe even get Rooster Teeth to make changes in their workflow (I won’t say “I hope they respond” because they seem to respond in-house to complaints about crunch without ever actually changing anything)

I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Share the accounts of the Glassdoor reviews as far and as wide as you can. We love and enjoy media, we love the people who make it- the animators, editors, writers and voice actors, and we as a community want them to not have to resort to RT’s seemingly unlimited mental health coverage or “find a coping mechanism to deal with crunch.” As much as it pains me to admit, I’d rather see RWBY die instead of seeing continue to be made on the back of crunch.

Thank you for reading. Again, I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Let your voice be heard if you stand against this.

#rwby #Rooster Teeth #Genlock #crunch #overtime #glassdoor #georden whitman #nomad of nowhere

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steven-heisler-law-firm · 3 years

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What Happens After I Reach MMI in MD?

If you’re injured at work, workers’ compensation benefits should pay for your medical care and rehabilitation, but you may ask yourself, what happens after I reach MMI in MD? When you reach maximum medical improvement (MMI), your ability to work, go back to your job, and the benefits you receive should be more clear.

Steven H. Heisler can help with your workers’ comp claim at any point in the process. The earlier we get involved, the better position you’ll be in to get workers’ comp benefits that could make a big difference in your life.

What is Workers’ Compensation?

Workers’ compensation is a type of insurance. Employers are required to provide their employees coverage for injuries that arise out of, and happen in the course of, doing their job. Employers pay for this coverage and they choose their insurance carrier. It will pay weekly cash benefits, medical care, rehabilitation costs, compensation for permanent injuries, and death benefits to the next of kin of those killed on the job.

Only employees are eligible for workers’ compensation benefits. An independent contractor must carry their own coverage or file for benefits and successfully claim they were employees who were misclassified by the employer.

What is Maximum Medical Improvement (MMI)?

MMI means:

You have recovered as much as possible.

Improvement with more treatment or rehabilitation isn’t likely.

Your ability to return to work has progressed as far as it’s likely to go.

You should have received all reasonable treatments before this MMI judgment is made. Ideally, your MMI is a full recovery, or full enough to allow you to return to your job without limitations. But you may have some degree of negative impact on your abilities after you reach maximum medical improvement.

Before reaching MMI, you’ll get a diagnosis and go through medical treatment and rehabilitation by a doctor you have chosen. When you reach the point where you aren’t progressing any further, you’ll be examined by your physician. He or she will determine the status of your condition and, if appropriate, refer you to a Board Certified Independent Medical Examiner who will assign you a disability rating. It could include a permanent work restriction. If your doctor establishes that you may recover further, the comp carrier may pay for additional treatments.

Sometimes, the insurance company’s physician will examine you while you are still treating and unilaterally determine that you are at MMI. The insurance company might terminate any temporary benefits you are receiving. You may disagree with that decision and you have the right to appeal the decision to the Maryland Worker’s Compensation Commission and have a judge make the final determination as to whether or not you are at MMI.

If you can’t perform your job duties at your place of employment, you may qualify for vocational rehabilitation benefits.

After You Reach Maximum Medical Improvement, the Future of Your Workers’ Comp Claim May Become Clear

It’s only after reaching MMI that you’ll know the full impact of your injuries and how they’ll affect your life and ability to work. An MMI decision is also the point where we have a clear idea of what your case is worth, so we can try to settle it or pursue it further.

Workers’ comp insurers want to save money and settle claims quickly. The Insurer may want to settle the case before you reach MMI. However in Maryland, the Maryland Worker’s Compensation Commission will not permit a claimant to settle his or her case if the claimant needs further treatment.

You May Be Partially or Totally Disabled After Reaching MMI in Maryland

While you’re treated and you’re expected to recover, you qualify for temporary disability benefits. The payments last until you’re released to return to work or reach MMI. If your injuries are still persistent, their effects may be permanent. How long you receive benefits depends on whether your disability is total or partial:

Permanent total disability would be two-thirds of your average salary, not to exceed the state maximum. You might receive these benefits the rest of your life

Permanent partial disability is based on a scheduling system. It assigns a length of time of payments for the part of your body that was injured.

If you can’t fully recover after reaching MMI in Maryland, you were given a disability rating, and you’re not permanently totally disabled, you may or may not be able to go back to your old job. Given your restrictions and the job duties, . . .

Your employer could change the job so you could do it.

You might be assigned another position.

You may need to leave your employer and find another job within your restrictions.

Part of workers’ comp benefits includes retraining so you can find a new job doing something else if you are not able to perform your job duties at your old job.

The Workers’ Comp Carrier Has Attorneys. You Should Have One, Too, Especially After You Reach MMI.

Maryland workers’ compensation laws are complex and difficult to understand. Even if you think your employer is clearly responsible for your injury, attorneys for your employer or its insurance company will try to prevent coverage. Don’t go it alone. Steven H. Heisler is here to help you get the benefits you deserve.

Employers must provide a reasonably safe work environment. But equipment malfunctions, co-worker mistakes, and bad management decisions can place you at risk. You may be eligible for workers’ compensation, disability insurance benefits, and other resources to help with your medical treatment and bills. Our Baltimore workers’ comp lawyer offers free consultations, so why not call us at (410) 625-4878 now?

The post What Happens After I Reach MMI in MD? appeared first on The Maryland Injury Lawyer.

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name-me-regret · 3 years

Text

If The World Was Ending 11/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Eleven: Waking Up Slow

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Heaven help me My mind changes like the wind Please excuse me I don't know where to begin

But I didn't think I cared I could be your friend But I'm unprepared Oh, I've never felt like this

I was unaware That you were lighting flares Now I'm running scared Oh, how did it come to this?...”

~Waking Up Slow (Piano version) - Gabrielle Aplin

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

‘BUCK!’

Buck lifted his head and saw Christopher, he was barely hanging onto a cement light post as the water ripped at him like dark, reaching hands.

‘CHRIS!’ he shouted as he tried to swim toward him, before he was dragged under. But it didn’t matter how much he kicked his legs and moved his arms, he couldn’t get any closer.

‘HELP, BUCK!’

The water pulled at Chris and his little fingers were slipping and Buck felt desperation start to fill his chest when nothing he did could get him to the little boy. ‘PLEASE!’ he sobbed, seeing Chris’s frightened face as he reached one small hand toward him.

Then the water rushed forward and ripped him from reach and from view.

“NO!” Bucked screamed as he shot up in bed, eyes flying open. He searched the dark room, but he was alone in his loft. His chest was heaving, feeling his heart racing in his chest, but there was no water and he knew Chris was safe. Even so, he wanted to reach for his phone and call Eddie, since he knew he was home right now.

The only thing that stopped him was that it was his first day off after a 48-hour shift, and Eddie needed to rest. Hell, Buck had had Chris during that first 24-hours before Carla had come back to stay with him for the other day. Buck would have honestly been more than happy to take care of him both days, but Eddie had insisted that it was Carla’s job and that Buck didn’t have a job anymore so he couldn’t keep wasting money taking him out.

Buck knew Eddie hadn’t meant it maliciously, but the words stung more than he was willingly to admit, to be reminded that he was no longer a firefighter. Also, Buck wasn’t worried about money, since he kept getting his worker’s comp checks, and his savings consisted of all the money his grandparents had left him. They hadn’t agreed with their parents way of raising him and Maddie, especially how they’d cut her off when she’d married Doug. So, they’d cut them out of their wills and left it all to Buck and Maddie.

They’d been furious.

As for Buck, he didn’t care about the money. All her ever cared about was for his parents’s love and acceptance. He’d never gotten it.

Buck knew he was too keyed up to try going back to sleep, so he decided to take a shower to wash off the sweat. As he was coming out, his phone playing his Mellow playlist, it cut off in the middle of the James Bay song he was listening to. He immediately answered when he saw that it was Tony.

“So, you’re still alive?” Buck asked, a relieved grin on his face despite himself. His hair was still damp, and he’d yanked on some sweats and a t-shirt. The blonde man let himself fall on his bed, cell phone still against his ear. It had been two days since Tony had left, and he’d only received a single text from the man since then.

“Yeah... bruised and bettered, but still alive,” Tony groaned on the other end. There was shuffling on his end, followed by a clanking and then he heard JARVIS voice clearly stating that he needed someone else to stitch his wound.

“You’re trying to stitch your own wound?” Buck asked incredulously. “Don’t you have a tower with a medical floor?” He sat up now, worried for Tony and his apparent idiocy. And Buck thought he was a dumbass.

Tony fumbled with something as he grumbled. “I didn’t call to get lectured, Ev.”

Buck nodded with a sigh, running a hand down his tired face. He hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep in the last two days, mostly because of nightmares. While the ladder truck bombing had given him his share of nightmares, the tsunami and losing Chris during the natural disaster was something worse. So, he was feeling a bit irritable at the moment.

“Then why did you call then?” He didn’t want Tony to think all he’d do was nag at him, as if he was his... well, his boyfriend or something. That had ended a while ago. “I can exactly help you stitch your wound with you being all the way in New York.”

Tony was quiet for a few seconds. “Well, I’m not exactly in New York,” he admitted at last. He heaved his own sigh and did something that gave a sort of ripping sound, and then hissed as Buck heard a smack. “I’m right outside L.A. in a SHIELD safe house.”

“And there’s no one there to help you?” Buck asked, already starting to stand up. He looked for his wallet and the keys to the rental the insurance company had given him, since his Jeep was a total loss and were in the process of getting a estimate and issuing him a check. He had insisted on getting his Jeep back, for sentimental reasons and it didn’t matter if they didn’t give him a check. Buck didn’t want a new vehicle, wanted to fix up his Jeep.

“I’m not exactly supposed to be here,” Tony admitted. He kicked at something on his end. “By the looks of things, no one’s been here in months.”

“Where are you?” Evan asked as he climbed down to the ground level and out of his building.

“What? Why?” He paused and listened, obviously having heard him get in his car and start the engine. “No, Ev, I’m fine. You don’t have to come here.”

“J, are you there? Send Tony’s location to my phone.”

‘Yes, Mr. Buckley, sending it now.’

“JARVIS, you traitor! I will donate you to a community college!” Tony snapped with no real heat in his voice. If anything, he sounded more tired than angry.

“I’m on my way, you idiot,” Buck laughed. He heard Tony curse, but he didn’t tell him to stay away. Buck took that as a win.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

The house wasn’t much to look at, and ‘a shack’ would be a better description for it. Buck didn’t see the armor, but figured it was inside with Tony. He didn’t even bother to knock and entered through the door, which Tony had probably left unlocked for him. It could also be because he didn’t expect anyone to come attack him, so whatever had caused his injury had probably been taken care of. If not, Tony wouldn’t have allowed JARVIS to give Buck his location.

“Tony?”

“In the kitchen,” he heard the man call.

A few moments later he entered what could maybe be called a kitchen. The table looked like anything more than the first aid kit resting on it would make it collapse, so did the two chairs that were the only thing in the room. It didn’t look like it had been stepped in for ages, judging by the dust over everything, the grimy stove and the refrigerator that was probably from the eighties, possibly the seventies. There was likely no food inside, and the sink and the faucets of it were rusted, so there was possibly no water.

Buck moved over and soon he was standing over Tony, who was sitting in one of the rickety chairs. He had a black eye that was almost swollen shut, several cuts and bruises all over his face and exposed torso, since he was shirtless. Tony also had a bandage taped against his left side, just out of where he could comfortably reach, and it was quickly being stained by blood. “You’re fine, huh?”

Tony scowled up at him past his rapidly swelling eye, and the armor silently standing behind him in sentry mode showed the dent on the face plate where he’d been hit. “I am,” he insisted. He indicated the bandage. “I managed to tape it up.”

“And JARVIS thinks you need stitches,” he said, removing his light jacket and hanging it on the other chair. “Turn this way,” he instructed as he pulled the chair with his jacket closer. He had to sit close to be able to examine the wound, and he shook his head when he pulled the bloody bandage off. “I’m a firefighter, not a paramedic, and even I know this needs stitches.”

“Well, take a crack at it, if you want,” Tony told him petulantly. He didn’t seem to happy with being seen like that, but he’d seen Evan like that so he didn’t know what his problem was. In fact, he’d been worse, but then again, he’d been eighteen at the time, almost nineteen. So, he guessed it was different.

Buck shook his head and yanked the first aid kit closer, which he’d obviously been trying to use by the blood smeared on the side of it. “I’d normally leave you to your stupidity, but then JARVIS would be upset,” he snarked back.

Of course, he wouldn’t actually do it, since he’d come all this way to help him. Buck cared about Tony, even when he was being snappish. They were both quiet as he worked, Buck having slipped on some gloves, and Tony grunted in pain when the needle first pierced the skin, but then his only response afterwards was a few flinches or his shoulders twitching for the next six stitches. “All done,” he said, cleaning the excess blood and tossing it all in the trash can Tony had obviously dragged closer. There wasn’t even a bag inside of it.

“Thanks,” Tony finally said after a moment of silence. His face was tired and Buck wondered how much sleep he’d gotten since the two days he’d seen him. The bags under his eyes told that it had likely not been much, so he probably felt as bad as Buck did.

“Are you staying here?” Buck asked, looking around distastefully at the grime and dust that covered every surface. He was sure the rest of the... structure was just as bad, or worse. At least it was only one floor, since he was quite sure anything higher might have collapsed by now. Then again, if it belonged to a secret spy organization, then it was probably reinforced to keep it standing. Buck wasn’t too keen on testing that theory out.

“I can’t really fly without fixing the helmet,” he said. Buck took that to mean that it was damaged enough that he might not be able to even use it. “I’ll have... Pepper send me the jet.”

“Or I could take you home,” Buck blurted out, not really thinking on what he was saying.

“I.. do have a penthouse in LA,” Tony mused out loud. Then he quickly shook his head. “No, never mind, I think it was damaged in the tsunami.”

“I meant take you to my apartment,” Buck clarified. He was amused as Tony’s gaze snapped up in shock toward him. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” He tried to keep the smirk off his face as he saw Tony’s face start to get a bit red. Buck hadn’t even know it was possible to make Tony Stark blush.

“I don’t... want to be a burden,” Tony said, almost stuttering. Buck was enjoying this way too much. “I don’t really have a change of clothes.”

Buck shrugged as he leaned forward, seeing Tony’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed nervously. “You can just borrow some of mine,” he said, making a show of checking his bandage, but he wanted to tease him a little. He’d always enjoyed flexing his flirting skills, and there was no one better for that than Mr. Tony “smooth-talking-charm-anyone” Stark. Then again, Tony had been Maddie’s friend since they were 14 and 16 respectively, Buck having been 10 at the time. It was the year before he started at MIT, and three years before his parent’s automobile accident.

He’d been a mess back then, alcohol and drugs and between Maddie and his friend Rhodes they’d helped him the best way they could. As for Buck, he had met Tony briefly but not entirely, and during that time he’d been thirteen. They hadn’t properly met until he was 16 (almost 17) and Tony had been 20, at a charity event that Charles Buckley actually donated to. Buck was convinced that it was just to keep up appearances, but it had benefited Buck that he could finally meet Maddie’s friend, Tony Stark.

Buck had been smitten almost immediately but Tony had refused the young man’s advances until he was actually 18. By then Buck had long known he was bisexual and knew exactly what and who he wanted, and he had wanted Tony. It was cliche that on his eighteenth birthday they’d finally fallen into bed together, but that’s what had happened, almost like a fairytale if one was being extra sappy and cheesy.

Then Charles Buckley had found out eight months into their relationship, and Buck had ended it to spare himself from his father’s bigoted, homophobic rage. He’d moved to LA a month after he turned nineteen.

Now here he had him once again and all those feelings he’d never gotten over were returning with a vengeance, despite his feelings for Eddie. He’d been hiding them well, hiding himself out of fear still, but it became harder now with Tony here. Because while he wasn’t sure that Tony had ever loved him, Buck was sure the man had been his first love, and you never got over your first love.

“Come home with me,” he told him, fingers coming to rest on his knee.

Tony’s eyes moved to the hand on his knee before they lifted to meet his eyes. “Yea-”

The sound of the front door being kicked in made them both freeze, and the armor turned as the repulsors charged with a whine. Buck stood and faced the open doorway even as Tony hissed at him to get back. There was no way he’d do that, not with Tony being injured.

They both tensed as an imposing figure entered their line of sight, a very familiar shield in front of them. “Tony?” he asked in confusion.

“Rogers,” Tony sighed as he slumped back in his chair. He winced a moment later and Buck wanted to immediately check the stitches, but he hadn’t moved from his position, which was between Tony and this man. “It’s alright, he’s a... not a threat.”

Buck’s eyes narrowed on the man, trying to place him, and definitely not trusting him in the slightest. “Why’re you kicking in the door?” Buck asked him as his eyes not once leaving him as he walked further inside the kitchen.

“Because this is a SHIELD safe house and someone broke into it,” he said, as if that explained that all. “I work with SHIELD.”

Buck opened his mouth to respond, not sure why this man got his hackles up, but paused as Tony’s hand touched his elbow. He glanced at the man, scoffed and backed off, physically and metaphorically as he sat in the rickety chair once again. “I’m surprised there’s even security system for this shack,” Tony told the man. He seemed to know him, whoever he was.

“It’s a low frequency alarm, which is why we only got here,” a woman said as she walked in after the man. Buck hadn’t even heard her come in she was so quiet. “I’m surprise you didn’t realize there was an alarm.”

Tony grunted as he put on his shirt carefully. “I didn’t really check,” he admitted. “I was preoccupied with other things.” He stood. “We’ll be leaving now.”

“You’re hurt?” the man asked, brow furrowed. “Do you need assistance?” He’d stepped forward and his blue eyes narrowed as Buck tensed and half rose out of his seat.

“He’s fine, I took care of him,” he said.

The man, Rogers as Tony had called him, frowned. “And you are?”

Tony opened his mouth, but Buck cut him off. “Buck,” he said, holding a hand to him. And even as he smiled at him, there was no warmth in the expression. “A firefighter with LAFD.”

Rogers hesitated a moment, seeming to stiffen at the mention of his name. He eventually took his hand, grip firm as he shook it. “Steve Rogers. That’s an interesting name.”

Buck shrugged as he released his hand and tipped his head at the woman, who hadn’t bothered to introduce herself. Except, she really didn’t have to now that Buck new the man’s name. He was Captain America and that must mean she was Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow, who had wandered closer to Tony to check him over. Tony just waved her off. “It’s actually Evan Buckley, but everyone just calls me Buck.”

Tony stood as well now. “Well, not that this hasn’t been swell,” he snarked, “but I’m eager to get into Ev’s bed.”

Rogers sputtered and Tony only grinned and didn’t correct what he must be thinking. He moved past them all, and Buck nodded as he also left the room. The suit, being controlled by JARVIS, followed right behind. As they exited the shack, he saw the jet parked close by, a dark shadow in the gloom.

Tony had already slipped into the passenger seat and Buck wasted no time in getting into the car as well. “So, did I just meet Captain America and the Black Widow, or did I imagine that?”

“No,” Tony huffed a laugh, “you didn’t.”

Buck nodded as he started his car. “And did you just make those same people think we were about to have sex?”

Tony smirked and Buck laughed as he shifted the car into drive and headed back toward the city. “You’re terrible.”

“I try my best,” Tony quipped back.-

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theraveninhisstudy · 3 years

Text

I could use some help

So, I don’t really want to be making this post, but the situation is not great.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently working as a delivery driver. That is my only current source of income. I’m looking for other work, but that hasn’t really turned up anything. Unfortunately, being able to work means having a functioning vehicle and over the past couple months my car has developed some issues and at the moment is pretty undrivable.

My step dad has been helping me a lot, doing the repairs himself ad having me just pay for the parts, rather than having to go to a mechanic. Right now we think the problem is either the fuel injectors, a cracked piston ring, or a leaking engine valve. If it’s the first then great, fuel injectors are meant to be replaced and we just have to wait for the new ones to come in and swap them out, but that won’t be until Monday at the earliest and that’s several days of work I can’t really afford to miss, and this is the best case scenario. If it’s one of the other two problems, that’s going to take pretty much a full engine rebuild, which would cost more than my care is currently worth.

I’ve been struggling to keep money saved up for a while now. Between fracturing my elbow and being out of work from that back in march, my old boss fucking up the worker’s comp, being out of work again in july from catching fucking covid, having to replace my phone in August, and having other minor car issues come up in the last two months, I’ve got nothing. I didn’t want to ask you guys for help then because I always felt like I had just enough to get by with and get back on my feet. I’m not sure I can do that this time, and I could really use some help.

I have a paypal.me at https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/raveninhisstudy

I haven’t really posted any writing on here, but if there’s a writing prompt you’d like to throw at me, I can take a swing at it. I can write critical role, clone wars, homestuck, fullmetal alchemist, final fanatsy 15 and 7, dragon age, monster hunter, and a few other fandoms and non-fandom stuff. I also have a DnD campaign called Eversong that I might be able to take prompts for.

I also plan on streaming later today, and my twitch also has a donation link, but if you just want to watch me swear at video games I still really appreciate it.

#quoth the raven

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sinsbymanka · 4 years

Text

Update: Girl with the Arrow Tattoo Chapter 36!

Full fic is over at AO3! Modern Thedas AU with magic, demons, and so much angst and pining. Just... so much.

Well, Maria thought to herself, she’d been a semi-decent Inquisitor for approximately seventy-two hours. In all honesty, a better run that she expected to have before she finally ran into the one thing she could not do.

That one thing was reading a fucking speech.

She buried her face in her hands, ignoring the scattered notecards all over the floor, the ones she’d thrown there in a fit of pique. She couldn’t meet Josephine’s anxious gaze one more time, but she felt it on her shoulders anyway. The silence hung over them like miasma, poison she was going to choke on.

“Alright, Inquisitor.” Harding kept her voice carefully light. “Maybe we need to try something a bit different.”

Maria looked up, spearing Harding with a glance she hoped conveyed her complete exasperation with the entire situation. She’d had it with the camera pointed at her damn face, the notecards containing Josephine’s carefully chosen words, and Harding’s disappointed little wrinkling her brow. She felt like screaming.

Instead, Maria sighed and bent down, sweeping most of the cards back into her hand, shuffling them back into order without thought. She stared at the neat, precise handwriting until her eyes ached. The words flowed when she read them in her mind, but the second she tried to push them into the air, they turned to lead weights and awkward silences.

“Let me see those.” Harding plucked the cards from her hand and frowned at them.

“Perhaps I should rewrite it. Again.” Josephine stepped forward over Maria’s shoulder. “Allow me…”

Maria wasn’t certain that rewriting the speech she was supposed to be giving would help any more the third time around. She’d still be nothing more than a wooden puppet, dull and lifeless, stumbling over the simplest words, unable to look at the camera without turning red and stuttering.

“Good idea! I’ve got a better one.” Harding grinned and held Maria’s gaze before tossing the cards over her shoulder where they fell like a deck of cards, scattering in all directions. Maria huffed a small laugh, shaking her head.

“Does that mean we give up and I can go do something productive?” Maria asked. She had a little under a thousand things on her to-do list. Re-establishing connection with the outside world came with a cost, after all.

It turned out, everyone thought they were ghosts. Orlais and Ferelden had rescue teams scouring the area, the meager forces either country could spare with Ferelden trying to clean up from the witch rebellion and Orlais in full scale civil war. The would-be rescuers were more than a little confused to discover that so many people had escaped Haven, found a magical fortress, and flourished in the aftermath.

But it was Maria’s continued, implausible, survival that really astounded the world. Unfortunately, she was trending across all the social media channels. Again. Harding’s footage of the avalanche that buried Maria had gone viral almost immediately. Memorials sprung up in the most unlikely places, from Denerim’s chantry to the docks at Ostwick. Josephine released a statement, but it became increasingly clear it wouldn’t sate the appetite of Thedas. They wanted Maria, more than just the photographs of her greeting the rescue teams. More than the stolen video clips of her wandering Skyhold carrying supplies. They clamored for her to speak, to tell her story, to shine her attention on them.

Maria didn’t really think even her sputtering on camera would be enough. She worried the world wouldn’t be happy until it swallowed her whole, honestly.

“No more reading off these cards.” Harding stated, fiddling with her camera for a moment before putting it back on it’s tripod and dragging her chair over to Maria’s. Harding sat down and leaned forward, lightly placing her fingertips on the back of Maria’s palm. “To be honest, you suck at it. A lot.”

“The honesty I need to hear.” Maria joked weakly, sagging back in her chair. “Tell Josie to give it up.”

“Inquisitor…” Josephine sighed. Harding shook her head and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, we’ve got to try one more thing before you’re off the hook.” Harding tapped her finger lightly on Maria’s skin. “Tell me what happened.”

“Fuck, Harding.” Maria raised her marked hand to her forehead and rubbed away the impending headache. “You were there. You know what happened.”

“I know.” Harding said softly. Maria fixed her gaze on Harding’s and watched as the woman swallowed some great emotion, a shudder passing through her. “Hard to talk about, isn’t it? I swear every time I try to remember, I can hear the people we lost screaming. Smell the smoke.”

Maria gulped down her own panic, the fear that she’d look up and see the dragon’s wings darkening the sky through the pretty windows. She sounded like she was begging, but she didn’t care. “Harding…”

“What happened first?” Harding pressed softly. “I was back with Varric, I couldn’t see. I heard the gunshots, they said you were on the frontline.”

She’d been. With Solas, then Bull. The girl who died beside her, choking on her own blood. Maria never even knew her name. They’d lost so many people, and Maria never knew any of their names. She flicked her eyes to the camera and Harding squeezed her hand.

“Don’t look at it.” Harding directed. “Look at me.”

If she looked at Harding, she may cry. She blinked several times, trying to bring her expression under control. The silence stretched on until Maria let out a long, heavy breath. “The Templars came in armoured SUVs. We barely had any warning, so we erected barriers out of anything we could get our hands on. They’d been poisoned by the red lyrium, like we saw on the news in Kirkwall with the Knight Commander, but there were so many of them. They didn’t care if we shot them, they kept coming out of the darkness like a nightmare.”

“But the Inquisition had explosives.” Harding supplied softly. Maria nodded, focusing on Harding’s hand on hers.

“Yes.” Maria’s voice sounded a bit more sure. If she ignored the camera, ignored Josephine’s silent presence, and just focused on Harding it was easier. “Yes. They’d been left there. The Inquisition requisitioned your drone to deliver the explosives…”

Harding gently prodded Maria through most of it, but the words flowed when she spoke. The templars. The dragon. Corypheus. The avalanche. One rolled into the other, but by the time they got to Skyhold, Maria felt raw, scraped clean on the inside. Harding pulled back, looked at Josephine expectantly.

“We will need to edit it for length and clarity.” Josephine nodded, all business, but Maria saw her hands shaking as she typed something into her tablet. “But…. forgive me.”

Josephine wiped her face briskly with her sleeve, shooting Maria a watery, wan smile. “I was not prepared to be so moved. I will remember that you should not be scripted. For the future.”

“Well, Inquisitor.” Harding smiled, tears in her own eyes as well that she dabbed away. “How was that interview you said you’d never give me?”

Maria laughed, the sound relieved and choked. “Maker.” She wheezed. “Did you get me saying that on camera the first time? If so, you should tack it onto the end.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Harding stood, extending her hand to Maria. “Not bad, Inquisitor. Not bad at all.”

“I try.” Maria reached automatically for her phone in her pocket, frowning at the ever present notifications while she allowed Harding to hoist her up. She skipped the emails, those she needed to pick through at night when she wouldn’t be interrupted and they wouldn’t keep multiplying on her. The text messages usually were more urgent.

Usually being the key word. The first one, of course, was from Sera. It consisted of a string of nonsensical emojis (fried shrimp? Who actually used the fried shrimp?) plus a blurry photo that could have been Cullen’s desk chair on top of one of the turrets. She sent a simple thumbs up and moved to the next one.

Varric. Again. She opened up the message, hunching her shoulders defensively as Hading and Josephine talked over her, to read the string of messages.

Varric: Let me know if you get this. I made another minor adjustment. Maria: Stop fucking with it before you fall off the walls. We don’t have health insurance here. Varric: Let me guess, no worker’s comp either? Maria: Negative on the workers comp. We may have beer, though. Varric: That’s the best medicine. Hey, do you have a minute? Maria: Also negative. Cullen wants me to meet his senior officers and introduce myself properly. Varric: Right, when you have a second. Maria: Sure. Varric: How about now? Maria: Leliana’s explaining Orlais to me. Varric: Right. Let me know if you figure it out. Varric: Later tonight? Maria: I can’t, I’m going over supply manifests with Josephine. Maria: Maybe tomorrow. Varric: So, it’s tomorrow. Just in case you haven’t noticed. Maria: I’ve been told. I’m sorry, I’m swamped. I’ve got a speech to memorize and give for Harding and Josephine. Varric: Alright, Princess. I’ll stop bothering you - come by when you can. Varric: And in case nobody told you yet today, you’re knocking this Inquisitor thing out of the park. Best inquisitoning I’ve ever seen by far.

Fuck. Fuck. Why was this so fucking hard? Three days of messages, three days of ducking around Varric wherever and whenever she saw him. Three days nursing her bruised ego and railing against her own stupidity for believing for even a moment Varric fucking Tethras truly…

He’d be what she needed, if she asked, because he was kind, because he felt bad for her, because she wasn’t bad to look at. But she could never be what he actually wanted, and that… that stung. That stung far more than she could deal with just now on top of everything else. She certainly couldn’t spend time in his orbit, smelling his cologne, listening to his sinfully rich voice, waiting for his smiles and his laugh.

But she couldn’t ignore him either. She couldn’t.

Maria: Wait until you see whatever just happened on TV later then decide my prowess.

As she typed the message, another one popped in. She swiped to view it and fought back a smirk.

Dorian: Fasta vass, come here. Maria: Where are you? Dorian: Follow the sound of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

What did she do to deserve Dorian Pavus’s histrionics today? Maria simply pulled up the group chat, typing one simple question into it.

Maria: Anyone point me to our favorite neighborhood magister? Dorian: I am not a Magister, you heathen. Bull: Have you tried following the trail of spilled wine? Sera: or smell of hair wax Vivienne: Second floor rotunda, darling. You can’t miss his ostentatious shirt. Maria: Thanks Viv.

She slipped her phone back in her pocket and frowned at Josephine. “I’ve got to go.”

“I will email you the final footage for your approval.” Josephine declared smoothly, making a note in her tablet. Harding simply saluted lazily.

“Don’t.” Maria groaned, making a bee-line for the door. “I’m not going to watch it anyway. Just… whatever works. Do that.”

She fled before Josephine could argue, flying through the crowd in the great hall before anyone could stop and catch her attention. She found that speed was the key for moving across Skyhold, because if she slowed down for even a moment, she got roped into a hundred different projects of varying degrees of importance. She slipped into the rotunda and turned toward the stairs…

“Inquisitor.” Solas called. “A moment?”

Well, at least it was just Solas. She paused and turned to look at him. The elf was studying the blank wall in front of him, frowning thoughtfully. “What’s up?”

“I find the act of painting meditative and I wish to design some murals for this room. I asked Skyhold, but I believe the spirit wishes you to make the final determination.” Solas turned his back on the wall and pierced her with his gaze. “Would you like to see some sketches before I proceed?”

“You can paint?” She asked instead, curious. Solas simply smiled.

“I can.” He admitted. “I think I do so rather well. One of my few true talents.”

Sera could draw too, although she sincerely hoped Solas’s paintings were much less provocative. Sera’s most detailed sketches seemed to feature big breasted women in various states of undress. Maria wondered, momentarily, if it was an elf thing. Then, she internally winced and scolded herself for being a bit racist.

“Yeah, sure. I don’t need to see them. This is kinda your office, isn’t it?” Maria waved at the room, empty of all but a neat little couch and a tidy desk littered with papers. “Whatever you want to do.”

“A dangerous offer.” Solas smiled warmly down at her. “I shall try not to abuse the privilege. I thought, perhaps, to create a visual history of the Inquisition? The destruction of the conclave, the Inquisition’s formation, recruiting the witches at Redcliffe and…”

“Haven.” Maria whispered softly. Haven. She ached with it’s loss and all the fallen they’d left, so raw and fresh again after the interview. She feared she would carry it with her the rest of her life like a scar on her heart.

“Haven.” Solas repeated. “It weighs on you. I am sorry.”

“I think we’re all still reeling.” Maria tried to make her tone light, shrugging. “How did you ask Skyhold? About the murals? Varric keeps trying to talk to her through Cole but I don’t think it’s going well.”

“It is not, but Varric is a child of the stone. He does not understand such things.” Solas muttered, examining the walls.

Maria flinched just a bit. Well, maybe she should have asked about the painting skills being an elf thing then. If ‘children of the stone’ was getting thrown about so casually, it certainly would have put him in his place.

“I want to understand.” She insisted instead. “You know about spirits. You said some of them were your friends. Can you… can you introduce me? Is that how it works?”

“You wish to learn? About spirits and the fade?” Solas asked, incredulity lacing his voice, piercing her with his eyes.

“Yes.” Maria answered sternly, lifting her chin. “You’re the expert. I can clearly do… something with this mark on my hand. Teach me about the fade before I shoot myself in the foot.”

Solas continued to look down at her, blinking slowly, before he shook his head. “You are full of constant surprises.”

It wasn’t a no. Maria smirked. “So… you will?”

“Cadash!” Dorian shouted from above them. “I can hear you distinctly not making your way up here. Solas can wait his blighted turn.”

“If you wish.” Solas smiled, hesitant. “But Dorian is right. We will do so at another time.”

“Great.” Maria grinned, waved her hand at the walls. “Have fun. Don’t let Sera help.”

With that parting bit of advice, she sauntered to the stairs, leaving Solas to his quiet contemplation. She made sure to take her time, lingering an extra second before emerging onto the next floor.

Which… had sprung bookshelves. Apparently. She blinked, looking around, taking in the rows of empty shelving. Dorian stood in one of the new alcoves, scowling and tapping his fingers on the wood. “Was putting me on blast in the group chat strictly necessary?” He asked grimly.

“Next time, you’ll answer my question instead of being so dramatic.” Maria tipped her head to the side, examining his tailored black shirt with the intricate silver embroidery over the shoulders. “I don’t think that shirt is so bad at all.”

“Because you have proper taste.” Dorian sniffed. “You also have an empty library.”

“Odd.” Maria agreed, tracing the nearest plush armchair with her fingers, taking in the rich velvet upholstery. “Wasn’t this Cullen’s office yesterday?”

“That’s over on the battlements now, under his bedroom. Frankly, I think he’s happier.” Dorian waved Cullen’s migrating office away dismissively. “This lackluster excuse for an archive is outrageous. And Fiona will not see reason.”

Maria finally noticed the other figure on the floor, the elf glaring holes into Dorian’s back. Fiona stepped forward, pleading. “Inquisitor, you must understand, I cannot simply agree to hand over our history for the perusal of…”

“Ethnocentrism at it’s finest!” Dorian sniffed. “She’s concerned I’ll find something useful her people missed.”

“His people tried to enslave us!” Fiona lifted her chin, icy and regal. “I will not…”

“Dorian did an awful lot to prevent that from happening.” Maria wouldn’t sit here and just… let Dorian be slandered. Not when he was the only one who knew what Fiona’s idiocy nearly cost them. “What’s the issue?”

“All the knowledge of the southern circles is sitting, abandoned, in their shoddy little prisons.” Dorian pointedly didn’t look at Fiona, but stared imploringly at Maria instead. “It should be here where it can be studied, where perhaps we can use what we find. Even Madame de Fer agrees, but unfortunately Fiona is rather distraught that my grubby little Tevene hands will be all over it.”

“Those tomes are quite valuable!” Fiona insisted. “They must be left in…”

“The circles you ran out of?” Maria broke in, raising an eyebrow.

“Until they can be collected by the witches and catalogued appropriately…” Fiona persisted.

Maria fought the urge to roll her eyes and balled her hands into fists, hunching her shoulders. She bit out the words like bullets. “Grand Enchanter, your witches joined the Inquisition because it wasn’t a very good idea to keep going it alone. May I remind you, now is probably an even shittier time to strike out solo.”

Fiona bristled. “Are you saying we would no longer be welcome if…”

Balls. Who the fuck had time for this? Maria rubbed her forehead, attempting to soothe the headache returning with a vengeance. She lowered her voice to a steely command. “I’m saying that maybe you should remember you are part of a team and act accordingly. Which includes treating everyone here with the same respect you insist on receiving.”

Fiona set her jaw and looked like she had every intention of continuing to argue, so Maria turned to Dorian instead. “I’ll get Cullen to see if we can spare some people once we’ve got a clear path in and out of Skyhold.”

Maria paused, shooting a disdainful look back at the elf. “Unless that’s going to be a problem, Fiona?”

“Of course not. Inquisitor.” Maria could feel the acid on the other woman’s tongue. “I hope this decision proves wise and that you are not judged harshly on your… trusting nature.”

With that, the woman rotated robotically on her heel. She reached the nearest door and pushed it. The door remained resolutely shut even as she struggled. It finally fell open only once she pressed her entire weight into it, leaving Fiona scrambling in a rather undignified manner to regain her balance. Maria heard Vivienne’s voice drifting from the other room before Fiona slammed the door shut behind her. “Careful, darling. A fall at your age would be disastrous.”

Maria barely covered her laugh with her hand, immediately looking up to see Dorian not even bothering to hide his smug satisfaction as he spoke. “Well. That felt rather vindicating, didn’t it?”

“Is that why you wanted me? To make her give you books for our new library?” Maria asked, trailing after Dorian as he settled into one of the plush chairs at a rather sturdy table. “I’m guessing we can’t just order the ones you want online and have them shipped?”

“If only. Although I do wish to place an order for some items from my homeland. Nothing illegal to get southern panties in a twist, I promise, just some charts. I confess I’m not entirely certain what our address is, however. Not to mention whether or not we’re eligible for two-day shipping.” Dorian’s fingers continued to tap, anxiously, on the wooden surface of the table. Maria wrapped her arms around her waist and waited. “You know. Corypheus claims to be Tevinter himself. A Magister, in fact.”

“He didn’t look human to me.” Maria replied, shrugging. “He looked like a demon. Don’t demons lie? A lot?”

“Perhaps.” Dorian mused. “They say the blight is punishment for the sins of our Magisters who dared to walk in the realm of the Maker.”

“They’re also rather convinced I’m the Herald of Andraste.” Maria shrugged her shoulders a second time. Humans were strange. Fuck if she knew what the truth was behind Corypheus. Honestly, she didn’t see how it mattered one way or the other.

“Not Andrastian, I take it?” Dorian teased, but the longer she listened, the more she heard something wrong under his light tone. He continued talking regardless, the words meaningless. “Not that I blame you. Boring stuff. I was raised Andrastian, of course, but I’m afraid that I’ve been lying about attending services to my eternally disappointed mother for…”

“Dorian.” Maria interrupted. “What’s wrong?”

Dorian’s fingers lost their rhythm, the incessant tapping ceasing while his dark eyes bored into hers. “You’re rather observant today.”

“Survival instinct.” Maria claimed. One she’d finely honed. “Don’t change the subject. What’s happened?”

If it was bad news, Maria wasn’t sure she could handle any more. Dorian simply sighed, slumping in his chair. He was silent for a moment before meeting her eyes again. “I received word from a few of my remaining friends back in Minrathous. Do you remember Felix?”

How could she forget Felix? Their, admittedly few, interactions were branded in her mind. Him stumbling against her, him pleading with his father, the ghoul with the unseeing eyes and Leliana’s arm around his neck…

“I never asked...” Guilt churned in her stomach. She hadn’t asked, she’d fled and let the Inquisition deal with it because she’d been choking on Varric’s blood and Hawke’s inferno. She’d been a weak, spineless thing good for nothing but being led back to Haven by her nose.

She couldn’t. She couldn’t do that again. She was the Inquisitor now and she had to deal. She choked down the memories and took a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists until her nails cut into her skin, the pain a stark reminder of where she was, whose eyes were staring at her. “I never asked how he was. What happened to him and…”

And his father. The man who would have killed them all.

“You were exhausted and there was no need for you to manage the fallout after… after everything.” Dorian frowned. “It was my mess to clean up, after all. We packed them on their plane and sent them back to Tevinter. Alexius was arrested as soon as he stepped foot in Minrathous on the King of Ferelden’s insistence, although I’m sure he’ll be quietly released once it’s diplomatically safe to do so. Felix…”

Dorian’s voice grew hoarse with emotion, his eyes dropping to his hands. “I’m afraid Felix has passed. He pulled a thousand strings to get in front of the Senate, to deliver a rousing speech denouncing the Venatori cult and warning the Magisterium, and… then I suppose he laid down his sword.”

Maria felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving them both floundering as Dorian struggled to bear the grief written all over his face. Maria’s numb lips asked the question before her brain could process it. “He was sick?”

“The blight. He was on a research expedition with his mother into the abandoned Deep Roads. She… she passed several months ago. Alexius is alone now. I suspect all he really wished was the power to save his son.”

Dorian’s raw devastation was the only thing that prevented her from pointing out that he’d nearly killed the entire world and everyone Maria had left in his mad quest to save Felix. She couldn’t forgive him. Not even for Dorian.

But she knew better than to say it. Particularly when Dorian covered his face with one hand, the slight tremor in his shoulders the only sign of the sobs he struggled to hold back. Maria unwrapped her arms from her torso, hesitating only a moment. With Dorian sitting and her standing, she stood just a bit taller than him. She stepped forward, tentative, and rested her marked palm on his shoulder. His free hand reached up almost immediately to cover hers, a silent gesture of gratitude while his long fingers wrapped gently over her hand and squeezed.

“He was the best of us, you know.” Dorian murmured beneath his hand. “You could always count on Felix. If he had not been my friend, I… I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t know if I would be here now.”

“He clearly thought you weren’t half bad either.” Maria offered, at a loss for anything else to say with that weighted confession in the air. “He went along with your crazy plan in Redcliffe, didn’t he?”

Dorian’s laugh sounded broken, laced with unshed tears, but it was still warm and unbearably soft. “Of course he did. It was a brilliant one.”

Dorian dropped his hand from his face, eyes shining with emotion. His fingers gripped hers again. “At least Felix wasn’t the only decent sort kicking around Thedas.”

Varric tried not to be overly obvious in his leisurely stroll to the rotunda. Up the courtyard steps, through the gallery where Vivienne set up her alchemy table because she claimed the light was ideal. Fiona nearly ran him over in her hurry to escape past the other witch, her face blotchy with fury.

Maker’s balls, what did Dorian do? The last thing Maria needed was Fiona deciding to cause trouble because Sparkler stepped on a few toes. Varric scrubbed his hand across his jaw, casting his eyes back down at the group chat while he ambled past Vivienne holding up a glass beaker to the light.

“Leave Dorian to his tantrum.” Vivienne advised, lifting her eyes from her work. “I’ve found the Inquisitor is the best one at talking him down. She’s more than capable.”

“And miss the material for my next book?” Varric asked cheerfully. “Never.”

Vivienne shrugged her elegant shoulders. “Suit yourself.”

He would. At first, he’d been… understanding of Maria vanishing into the ether. He even tried to convince himself it was better, tried to talk himself into some gratitude that she wasn’t rubbing her rejection in his face. She was being kind, that was all, and sensible. Extremely sensible.

Except Varric needed to talk to her about an over growing list of items. He’d prefer to make his confession about Hawke in person, after all. He still needed to explain how the new AI on her phone worked and assuage any worries about robot eavesdropping, which was always better done face-to-face. The wi-fi in the castle was still spotty and she seemed to be the only one who could reason with her damn…

As if it knew the direction of his thoughts, when he placed his hand on the door leading to the rotunda and shoved, Skyhold kept the door stubbornly shut. A gloating declaration that the group chat messages didn’t say Maria Cadash was looking for Varric Tethras, did they?

“You learn to read?” Varric grumbled quietly, praying to the Maker himself that Vivienne couldn’t hear him. He pressed forward again.

The door didn’t budge. Varric knelt to examine the lock, frowning, but the knob rattled. It was, he thought, like a snake warning someone they were getting too close to its territory.

“If you think I won’t pick this lock, you’ve got another thing coming.” Varric threatened. He had damn good lockpicks, and nothing but time. At the very least, he’d put some good scratches into…

The door slid open silently just a crack, relenting to his whims. Or so Varric thought. When he went to shove it the rest of the way, it held fast. Varric could see a sliver of the room, now filled with empty shelves and plush chairs. One of those chairs contained Dorian Pavus, Maria standing in front of him, close enough to fall into his lap. She had her hand on his shoulder and as he watched, Dorian dropped the palm that covered his face to the table beside him. Varric could see the traces of lingering emotion etched into his handsome features. Maria smiled, a tenuous thing, but still there. She shook her head in silence, refuting whatever he’d said. Dorian took the hand he had trapped on his shoulder and lifted it, bringing her knuckles to his lips and placing a chaste, courtly kiss on them.

The door closed gently, like a mother tucking their children into bed. A clear signal that Varric was interrupting a moment. One he had no part of.

And the author in him, at least, could see the beauty in it. Dorian playing the part of an exiled stranger chased from his homeland, a prince in all but name trying to do the noble thing and fighting evil despite losing his family fortune meeting. Maria starring as a former criminal with a heart of gold, one who found herself lifted from the gutter to lead the righteous in a fight for the very soul of the world. It was a damn fine story. Varric almost wished he would have come up with it himself. Almost.

The rest of him felt sick with envy. A monster inside him desperately craved the right to place a kiss on Maria’s skin, the opportunity to have her lean towards him with that same sort of careless intimacy, to have her fall against him the same way she had their doomed night in Haven.

But it wasn’t him. Yet again, it was someone else who had that privilege. Varric turned, blindly stalking past Vivienne. He tried to ignore her sharp, lingering gaze on his shoulder blades. It didn’t burn as much as the jealousy in his stomach anyway. He threw the door open and emerged on the walls back above the courtyard. Down below, he could see children drawing on the ancient walls with brightly colored chalk. Their laughter rang brightly, full of sheer joy.

It hit him like shrapnel and he ran from it, back up the battlements. He wasn’t sure, entirely, where he was going. He just needed to keep walking, to put the picture of Maria and Dorian firmly behind him until he could look at it with some distance. Until it didn’t feel like holding a bleeding heart…

“But it’s not like that!”

Cole’s furious protest from behind him made Varric stop short, turning to watch the kid scramble after him. The kid’s cheeks were flushed pink like he’d run halfway across the castle to catch Varric. He huffed to catch his breath, staring down Varric with panic. “No. She wanted to show you, but it knotted up all your strings. He needed her. Loss comes in waves, a small smile sneaking snacks into the study. Gone. He’s gone now and he was one of the last bits of home that didn’t cut the wrong way. She knows grief. She understands how to carry it.”

“Kid, it’s fine.” Varric pinched his nose, hard, hoping the pain would clear the image from his head. Maria’s flushed cheeks, her shy amusement as Dorian’s lips brushed her skin. His princess in her castle with her devoted knight at her feet. Not him. Never him.

“But it’s not.” Cole protested vehemently. “You’re both so scared. But the fall isn’t far and it’s soft underneath the walls. Alone isn’t safe. If no one knows you’re alive, you aren’t.”

The kid’s imploring tone softened, his eyes bright with emotion. “Tell her. You have the words and she’s been silent for so long.”

He had a million things to tell her. But having her shoulder his bruised heart wasn’t on his list. “It’s alright.” Varric repeated. “It’s complicated, kid.”

“It isn’t.” Cole protested.

Varric’s phone vibrated in his hand and he looked down, the unknown number flashing across the screen. It could only be one person. “I gotta take this.”

He transferred the call directly to his earpiece, answering with a small amount of wariness while he turned his back on Cole to stare out over the mountains. “Hello?”

“I’ve got good news.” Hawke’s sanguine voice was just what he needed to hear. He closed his eyes to bask in it for a second. “And I’ve got bad news. Which do you want first?”

“I could use some good news.” He looked back over his shoulder, but found Cole had vanished as suddenly as he appeared. That… probably didn’t bode well. He sighed and leaned on the battlements, looking out instead, ignoring the prickling in his gut.

“The smuggler you sent me didn’t slit my throat on the freighter to Jader. Which, by the way, rhymes.”

Varric chuckled almost against his will. “And the bad news?”

“You know that sleeping thing I said I’d do on the ship? Well, guess who forgot how much she hates sea travel. I hope you’re not expecting me to be in working order when I climb those damn mountains, Varric, because I’m going to need a nap.”

Guilt twisted inside him uneasily. He didn’t want Hawke exhausted, falling prey to red templars or Venatori on the road. “You can stop and rest, Waffles. A day or two isn’t gonna kill us.”

“It may.” Hawke joked. “The way your luck’s been lately? I won’t chance it. Besides, the more distance in between me and Fen I can get is best.”

If someone didn’t know her well, they’d miss the hitch in her voice, the careful lightness almost smoothing it over. Varric sighed. He hadn’t heard a word from the elf, but he hadn’t expected to. It wasn’t exactly Varric asking Hawke to come that caused the problem. It was Hawke declaring she was coming alone.

Varric wasn’t entirely sure how that fight played out, although he knew it ended with Bethany sealing the lovers in separate rooms for a good long while. Hawke had her way, like she usually did, but Varric knew that wouldn’t last long either. The second Broody stopped brooding, he’d be off like a rocket on Hawke’s tail. It might take him a bit longer without Varric’s contacts smoothing the way, but Broody had experience smuggling himself out of and into places. He’d make it, eventually, Varric was certain.

“Should’ve just taken him with you.” It’s what Varric said the first time. And every time he’d spoken to Hawke since.

Hawke gave varying reasons why he couldn’t come. The first, that Bethany needed him (patently false. Sunshine was perfectly capable of defending herself). The second, that he was just as much a fugitive as she was, clearly also false.

“Bring him into a hotbed of Tevinter magic?” Hawke scoffed. “I’d never hear the end of it.”

Another lie. Hawke wasn’t telling him something and she was hiding it from Broody too. That meant it was almost definitely going to bite them all in the ass. Eventually. Hopefully after they dealt with their Corypheus problem.

“Any idea what your ETA is?” Varric asked. “Your trusty dwarf would very much like to get all the yelling and threats against my life done and over with.”

“Depends on whether or not I can steal a car, how far that car can get me, and if I have to walk through snow up to my tits to get up there.” Hawke mused. “I’m in Jader now. Bet I can make it by tomorrow night.”

“Take a nap.” He ordered. “Then you can start back up again.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead, Varric.” Hawke teased.

For some reason those words sent an icy shiver of dread through him. They felt like a bad omen, and Varric wouldn’t count himself superstitious, but…

“Be careful, at least.” Varric pleaded. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but we’d be lost without you.”

“Varric!” He could see Hawke’s extravagant reaction in his mind, her fluttering hands, her mouth dropping into a startled, theatrical o. “I didn’t know you cared.”

“Of course I care.” This was closer to honesty, to vulnerability, than either of them cared to go. But he’d called her here. Pulled her into danger again. His best friend, maybe the truest friend he’d ever had. If there was a time to be real, this moment with them standing on the edge of the end of the world was it. “I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you.”

Especially if she got hurt trying to save his ass.

“It’s gonna be alright, Varric.” Hawke soothed immediately. “No need to get sentimental on me now. Besides, you need to save some of the good shit for my kickass memorial service, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” He laughed weakly. “Pyrotechnics are already ordered, just like I promised.”

“Excellent!” Hawke cheered. “Now, let’s see if I can remember how Fenris taught me to hotwire a car. See you soon, Varric.”

The line clicked dead before he could get another word in. He huffed a laugh, shaking his head, staring out over the mountains. His head felt quieter already. Hawke was coming, fuck, maybe she’d know what to do about…

“Cole told me I needed to find you.” Maria’s quiet voice was almost lost in the wind. “He said it was important.”

Oh yeah, he knew the vanishing spirit kid was gonna be an issue. He spun, gluing on a smile, trying to replay the conversation. He hadn’t called Hawke by name, had he? Maker’s breath, how long had Maria been standing behind him, silent as a ghost, still as one of those statues of Andraste. Her eyes were unfathomable, the sky during a storm and she wore an expression Varric couldn’t quite read. It could have been anger, but it seemed to lack any heat. Maybe it was just weary resignation, a woman preparing for her eventual martyrdom.

Her eyes flicked to his earpiece and she jerked her chin at it. “Bianca?”

Bianca. Hell, if she thought he was talking to his AI, he’d take it. And it was an excellent segway to the things he actually needed to talk to her about.

“Nice to see you too, Princess.” He greeted, softening his smile into something more real. “Speaking of Bianca…”

Maria shut her eyes a second too long, opening them on a shaky exhale and plastering a wooden smile over her features before she interrupted him. “You seem fine. Cole thought you’d be jumping from the battlements, but I can see he was wrong.”

Maker’s ass, Varric was going to have a talk with the kid. The last thing he needed the woman whose dad ate his gun worrying about was who’d be swandiving off the keep. Varric wasn’t that dramatic by a long shot. He grinned playfully. “It’s a long way down and we’ve got Netflix again, so I’m off the danger list.”

“I can see now why you were so eager to get it up and running. I’m glad it worked.” Her facade was far too brittle, he felt like he’d shatter it with just the wrong word. She wasn’t even looking at him, but past him, into the abyss beyond. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Listen, if you’re okay I’ve got to go. I’ve got a million things and…”

She impatiently shoved her hair back from her face. Varric watched, wary. “Maria…”

“Varric.” She snapped. “It’s fine. It’s fine, everything is fine.”

Cause anything that had to be said three times was clearly true. But Varric couldn’t think of the right words to say to fix… whatever had just gone sideways. He wished he was brave enough to take her hand, intertwine their fingers together, make her stay put until he got to the bottom of it.

She knows grief. She understands how to carry it.

His tongue froze inside his mouth while he tried to find his words. But really, he only wanted to say one. Just one. Stay.

Instead, Maria’s false smile seared itself into place. “See ya, Varric.”

And as he watched, Maria fled back into her castle, leaving him bereft. Again.

Varric: In case nobody told you yet today, you’re knocking this Inquisitor thing out of the park. Best inquisitoning I’ve ever seen. Princess: Wait until you see whatever just happened on TV later then decide my prowess. Varric: Let’s forget whatever happened on the walls. I didn’t mean to get you worked up. Varric: I watched your interview. You did great. Varric: Talk to me, Princess. Please.

Varric stared, morosely, at his phone. He’d been assigned a tiny broom cupboard off the side of the courtyard by Josephine, although he swore it had been larger. Now it seemed to barely contain his desk, bed, and a dresser with enough room to walk from one to the other. It also, Varric thought snidely, had some sort of issue with the heat. His crackling fireplace looked quaint, but it served no functional purpose. His room constantly felt somewhere just above freezing.

He tore his eyes from the accusing light of his phone, his unanswered messages, and looked back at his tablet. He forced himself to watch the whole interview twice, even though it felt like rubbing against sandpaper to see Maria’s mouth spin the story of their desperate fight for survival, their half-baked flight into the void.

Her own near brush with death before she stumbled into his arms. She left out that part, the way he held her, the way she tried to fight him off before relenting. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she didn’t remember it at all.

The last five minutes were easier to watch. He hit play again, watched the last of the clip begin to roll, Maria’s voice quietly spinning magic as she spoke to Harding. “I want Skyhold to be a safe place. Not just for the people who fled Haven, but for everyone. The world is in danger from magic we don’t understand and we have to work together to take care of people who can’t fight on their own.”

“Before the attack on Haven, people were frightened of what the Inquisition represented. Do you think the purpose has changed?” Harding asked calmly.

“The attack on Haven did change us.” Maria insisted, a flicker of fire in those stunning eyes. “It changed everything. The Inquisition will unite Thedas around a common goal, protecting our people. Not just from Corypheus, but from the worst parts of these wars. Starvation, homelessness, and disease can kill as many people as a dragon. We have to be ready for that too. The Inquisition will serve everyone who needs us. Regardless of what they believe.”

Maker, she was good. But the best part was what happened next. Whoever made the decision to leave it in was a genius. Her whole interview she’d been calm, although at times her eyes gleamed with both fury and unshed tears. There’d been no trace of nerves, Harding gently soothing them away as she was being interviewed.

“Thanks Inquisitor.” Harding said, easily casual, falling back into reality.

Maria’s eyes flicked directly to the camera, then back to Harding. A slow, small, triumphant smile tipped up one side of her lips, her eyes still glimmering with emotion. She looked heart wrenchingly vulnerable, easy to adore, and at the same time recklessly, amazingly brave.

“Thanks Harding.” Maria breathed, shoulders relaxing, just before the image cut away to Ruffles.

Judging by what he’d seen of the coverage, it was nothing short of a rousing success. A near miss that made their Herald a hero, made her an Inquisitor with just enough blazing courage to delight the masses.

Varric hit stop on the video again, spared a chagrined glance at his phone. His own messages lingered pathetically.

Bianca.

She didn’t know. She couldn’t know. Nobody knew.

Except, of course, that probably wasn’t technically true. Somebody in Rogue Tech, Bianca’s secretary at least, had to have some idea. Hawke knew, although she was very good at pretending she didn’t know anything. What's-his-name might know. Varric didn’t care that much, but he might.

How good was Nightingale? Good enough to ferret out his darkest secret?

But even if Nightingale discovered their sordid affair, it’d been cooling for years. Fuck, he hadn’t even seen Bianca for at least a year. Kirkwall going to shit really ruined any furtive liaisons. Nightingale did know about Bianca’s digging in Maria’s past, of course. Was that enough for both women to draw their own conclusions?

Varric ran through his phone call with Hawke, again, listening with an outside ear.

Of course I care. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you.

He could have been talking to anyone, but she’d thought he’d been talking to Bianca. Maybe the real Bianca. If she’d heard what he’d said. If…

She heard. She definitely heard. That’s why she thought he’d been working on the communications so hard, to contact a lover. After, of course, attempting to seduce her in Haven. No wonder she wasn’t answering, no woman would. Even if she didn’t care about him, even if she’d rather keep him as a friend, the thought that he’d been lying or using her…

His journal was open beside his phone, lines scrawled unsteadily on a blank page, the Lovers tucked in between the pages.

I never tasted the stars before your kiss Never relished the flavor of the universe imploding But now I’m watching from the center of the flames Awash in the uncertainty of oblivion Wondering if this is what it feels like to burn.

Fuck. Fuck.

It was getting late, but not so late that she wouldn’t still be awake. Varric needed to fix this, the longer it festered, the worse it would get. He’d already waited over a day and…

He stood, knocking his chair back into the bed, grabbing his coat from where he’d thrown it on the comforter.

Thank Andraste he did

The trickle of dust from the ceiling was barely visible in the dim light of his shoddy lamp and inefficient fire, he barely had time to recognize it for what it was before the stone above him cracked open, dumping plaster and stone and one sputtering, irritated woman on his bed.

He blinked, shocked, down at Hawke’s sprawled form. She squawked, sitting up, coat askew, backpack slung half off, covered in snow and rubble.

“Maker’s balls, Varric.” Hawke asked, inquisitive blue eyes skipping around his room, a teasing smirk twisting her lips. “Why did they stick you in a closet?”

He didn’t bother answering. He pointed up at the rapidly closing hole above his head. “Explanation, Hawke?”

“I was a bit lost. Maybe it’s the castle’s idea of a shortcut? You weren’t kidding about it being a bit of a diva, hm?” Hawke stretched, examining his repaired ceiling with a good deal of curiousity. “I like it when impressive medieval fortresses come with attitudes.”

“Why didn’t you text me?” Varric demanded, exasperated.

Hawke simply grinned, sitting up in the mess that had been his bed, extending her arms. “I wanted to surprise you! And look, I did!”

She certainly had. And, as always, her timing was horrid. Varric chanced a glance back at his phone. The second he did, he watched Hawke’s sunny smile drop from the corner of his eye. Without her mask, Varric realized how fucking exhausted she looked, how brittle her own bravado was.

“Varric?” She asked softly.

“It’s fine. Let’s see if we can clean off the bed. You look like you’re running on empty. We can wait until tomorrow to…” Varric thought it would be excellent if the castle decided to clean it’s own mess up, but somehow he doubted that would happen.

“I’m fine.” Hawke protested immediately. “I’m good to go, I swear. And I wanna meet her.”

Her. Her. The inspiration for his latest shitty attempts at poetry. The woman he couldn’t get out of his head because she’d gotten under his skin.

“Tomorrow.” Varric promised. “When’s the last time you ate? Real food, not candy bars and coffee.”

“Varric.” Hawke repeated. And in that moment, he knew she’d seen. Somehow, he’d let his guard down long enough that she’d managed to glimpse his battered, broken soul. His insecurity and his vulnerabilities all laid bare. “What happened?”

“Food first.” Varric muttered, tugging his coat on. “And fucking beer if I can find it. I’m gonna need it if you’re expecting to hear how badly I’ve fucked this one up.”

#girl with the arrow tattoo #inquisitor x varric #inquisitor cadash #modern thedas #varric tethras #varric romance #cadash x varric #mutual pining #queen of the slow burn #these idiots #HAWKE ARRIVES

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wackygoofball · 5 years

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Hey, I want to say that I absolutely love your Jaime x Brienne moodboard AUs and cannot WAIT for Season 8 to kick off! I was watching Music and Lyrics the other day and was wondering if you'd done a moodboard for that yet? Because I think that would be amazing!

Hi anon, thanks for the lovely suggestion and for enjoying my moodboards! I love the movie to bits and pieces, it’s such a fun movie. Since I haven’t created a moodboard yet, it is now done. I hope it is to your liking:

Jaime Lannister is afailing musician. Back in his prime, his little brother and he started a kindof boyband, or a “mock band” as they called it, formed for the sole reason tospite their father and repay him for the unfair treatment particularly towardshis youngest son. Jaime played guitar, composed, and was the lead singerwhereas Tyrion took care of writing the lyrics, background singing, and themarketing behind the scenes.

Surprisingly, their mockband proved successful and soon they were actually superstars, gave concerts,landed on cover magazines and were offered dozens of contracts. In fact, theymade enough money to have a chance to break free from the family business, awelcome opportunity after Tywin threated to disown them both, should they continue“this utter folly any longer.”

However, things turnedsouth after that rather quicly: Jaime and Tyrion parted on very unkind terms,resulting in the younger brother going to Essos whereas Jaime remained in Westeros,with their mock band’s success soon no longer living up to its former glories.

Not wanting to crawl backto his family, Jaime decided to stay in the music business on his own andattempt a solo career. However, that didn’t work out greatly either, which lefthim under the belief rather fast that Tyrion was right with what he said to himbefore they parted – that Jaime never had any actual talent as an artist and hadonly ever been there for the looks. Then, Jaime got into an accident whileonstage, which left his right hand permanently damaged, thus making itimpossible for him to play instruments the way he used to.

In the present day, Jaimelets his not-at-all-too-great manager Bronn Blackwater run his business andorganize gigs in theme parks, furniture stores, and for mall openings where he performsthe old songs from the mock band all by himself.

Bronn surprises him withthe sudden job offer by rising star Daenerys Targaryen, a blonde beauty whocaused one sensation after another back in Essos, and now wants to launch hercareer in Westeros. She is invested in mixtures of modern beats with touches ofthe music of those places she visited on her journeys, including Dothraki folkmusic. Daenerys is looking for someone to write her a love song after she justrecently had to break up with her boyfriend Daario Naharis, to pursue her musiccareer in Westeros.

Bronn’s first attempts tofind Jaime a songwriter, since Jaime refuses to write songs, well aware that heis “not good with words,” quickly end in disaster when the man thinks his edgylyrics will do them any favors and insists on his artistic genius whereas Jaimejust finds that he is a pain in the arse.

His attention soon driftsaway from the self-absorbed guy over to the mannish woman who suddenly winded upat his apartment this very day to water his plants. She appears in place forhis old friend Catelyn Stark who normally volunteers to the task because shewants to check on him and Jaime just lets it happen so Cat won’t make noiseabout it. The blonde woman keeps humming along to the first music tunes Jaimestarted to put together, but soon makes up her own lyrics as she continues towater his plants – including those made of plastic – and Jaime must say: herlyrics are on point.

On a whim, he decides tofire the self-absorbed pain-in-the-ass songwriter and asks the woman carrying ablue watering can whether she wants to become a songwriter for him.

“… I don’t even know you. Iam just here to water some plants.”

“The name is JaimeLannister, pleased to meet you. And I think you drowned all of themsufficiently, Miss…”

“Brienne of Tarth, butBrienne’s enough.”

“Well, Brienne, then I’m just Jaime to you. So now that we are on firstname basis, how about you reconsider my offer? You would be paid real goodmoney and did I mention that you would be writing for Daenerys Targaryen?”

“I don’t know who that is.”

“She is the next risingstar in the music industry.”

“I honestly don’t know herand I should be on my way. Good day, sir, I mean… Jaime.”

And with that, shedisappears as fast as she came. Normally, Jaime would leave it at that and lookfor someone else, but time is scarce and he has to get that tape to DaenerysTargaryen as soon as possible if he wants to have any chance to get out of the endlesslimbo of mall openings and having his butt grabbed by way too eager fans. Thus,he continues to chase the woman, thankfully, Cat proves useful by providing himwith some information about her, though she cautions him that she is protectiveof her employee and won’t allow any harm to come to her.

“I wouldn’t ever. Cat, you knowme.”

“Well enough to know thatthis is right up your alley.”

“I thought you grew tobegrudgingly accept me.”

“Because you helped me getmy girls back. Other than that, I still consider you a nuisance at best.”

“You always have such nicewords for me, I feel blessed.”

Jaime eventually tracksBrienne down and confronts her about his offer another time, finding himselfalmost (but just almost) pleading herto at least give it a try.

“I need someone to writethe song for me.”

“But you are a musician. Youare a professional. Can’t you do that yourself far better?”

“I’m not a songwriter. Ican’t write lyrics for the life of it. I shit you not, I even struggled readingin school. C’mon, help a failing artist in need, wench.”

“What did you just call me?”

“I love old insults.”

“You are serious aboutthis.”

“As serious as someonefrequently showing up at furniture stores with sequined jackets can possiblybe.”

“Wow, you are desperate.”

“You have no clue.”

“Well, I suppose it can’tharm. And anyway, I still ought to water your plants.”

“They are all dead, buttheir sacrifice will be worth it so long you write this song for me.”

“They are all dead? What?”

“Well, the plastic ones arejust drenched. But that shouldn’t matter, we ought to get started. Now.”

And so, Brienne findsherself at Jaime Lannister’s apartment, pondering song lyrics for the veryfirst time in her life. It’s not like writing is at all unfamiliar to her. Backin college, she even took writing classes, always having felt an affinity forknightly tales already during childhoold. And of course there was that oneshort excursion into the life of an author, but that is something she won’tever revisit in a lifetime.

No thanks.

She remains surprised athow enthusiastic and eager Jaime is about her lyrics, which poses a starkcontrast to him being annoyed with her and her methods half the time, butBrienne finds that Jaime has to deal with that if he wants those lyrics fromher.

Though he won’t stopcalling her wench, no matter her insistence.

And Brienne must say, JaimeLannister is not at all what she first thought him to be, even more so aftershe watched some odd videos of hispast performances and finds herself dragged to one of his gigs in a theme parkshortly thereafter. Because Jaime did not lie about the women grabbing him in very inappropriate places. While he canbe a pompous ass, Brienne soon has to realize that beneath the sequined jacketsand easy smiles is a man who struggles with his identity as a musician afterhis injury made it impossible for him to compose the way he used to, thus beingforced to keep that old spark alive with playback tunes of the former mock band’sgreatest hits.

And oddly so, she findsherself relating to that. Because Jaime Lannister is not the only onestruggling with coming to terms with the past.

The deadline keeps drawingto a close, but they are making good progress. To celebrate, Jaime invites Brienneto have some dinner in his favorite restaurant just down the street when thingstake a sudden turn. Brienne storms out of the restaurant when she catches sightof a man enjoying dinner with some business friends, it appears. Jaime chasesafter her and has to tease it out of Brienne that she and the man in therestaurant have a history:

Some years back, Brienne workedat Renly Baratheon’s company as his personal assistant but soon grew to be hisright-hand woman, impressing with her writing talent that soon surpassed thoseof any other senior, something that did not sit well with most of thepredominantly male staff. Though Brienne didn’t really care in the beginning,since she joined to be around the man she was secretly in love with, she becamemore conscious of her position as she was more and more successful over time.However, then Brienne found herself caught up by sudden attention coming from anumber of co-workers who suddenly wanted to date her. One man went too farduring a team-building exercise, and she pushed him away, only for him to burnhis arse in a campfire. As a result, she was ordered to a mediation sessionwith him and personnel manager Randyll Tarly, the very same man currentlydining in the restaurant. When the guy threatened to sue for assault, Briennethreatened back with charges for sexual harassment, only for the man to saythat this was “not worth the wager.” It was thus revealed that he and the guyswho wanted to suddenly date her had a bet on who would get her to sleep withone of them first. Brienne thought Mr. Tarly would be on her side, but, despitehis insistence that he would have sanctions be handed out to the menresponsible, insisted that she certainly was to be held responsible for it aswell. What did she expect, as a woman in her position, taking up all thatattention?

That alone nearly brokeBrienne, but things just kept getting worse because Renly’s company had to filefor bankruptcy and he had to return back to Storm’s End. Not wanting to accept“defeat” and to go back to her father as utter disappointment, Brienne took theoffer Catelyn, a business partner she got to know through Renly, made her inthe aftermath. Thus, she departed from Bitterbridge and followed Cat to King’sLanding to start working for her instead.

Brienne spent most days inhiding thereafter, always feeling haunted by rumors about her, a circumstancethat found its epic peak when Randyll Tarly published a guidebook for personnelmanagers wherein he described “fictional cases,” at the heart of which stoodBrienne’s case. And the light he shed on her was not at all favorable, to saythe very least. To make matters impossibly worse, the book became a bestseller,as most people found Mr. Tarly’s dry and tough retellings oddly amusing.

“End of story.”

Brienne doesn’t want to goback into the restaurant at all, which is why she begs Jaime to just leave andgo somewhere else, but Jaime decides that it’s time she lives up to her ownbest example, being stubborn and brave past the point of sense at times, andfinally confront the man who brought her so much harm.

Brienne reluctantly agrees,but remains somewhat mute, until Jaime takes the lead and echoes what she toldhim, emphasizing how she is now a successful songwriter. Mr. Tarly lives up toany negative expectation Jaime may have had of the guy, revealing himself asthe cock he took him to be. Brienne is utterly shocked that Jaime comes to her defenseand understands just how much it hurt her, since she is so used that men expecther to always be strong and tough when deep-down, she could use some support,too. But Jaime gets it – and gives it to her when she needs it most.

In the aftermath, the twofall into bed together, or rather, under the piano, no longer able to denytheir burgeoning feelings for one another, no matter how dead Jaime’s plantsmay continue to be as a result of that union.

As things continue, Jaimealso finds himself opening up to her about how he ended up where he is now, howTyrion went behind his back to destroy his father’s company and that this wasthe reason why they broke up their partnership as fellow musicians and puttheir relationship as brothers on a hold.

Jaime admits he becamehesitant to compose, let alone write lyrics, after his injury, and after hissolo album flopped so badly that no one bought the last CD in the store downthe road for the past years – and he should know, he marked it. Jaime stuck toplaying the old songs because he doesn’t have to present anything new. Instead,he can just hit play button and make his audience happy.

It is Brienne who encourageshim to try again as a composer, to dare to be an artist again, after he came tobelieve that he never was one. After all, they will have to present somethingnew to Daenerys if they want to convince her. She also encourages him to takeadvantage of “the flaws” Jaime now finds in his music that come due to hisinjury, telling him that this is what she aimed at when she unsuccessfullypublished her own book as a struggle against Mr. Tarly that sadly failed, towrite flawed characters, and cherish their imperfections.

“That’s what makes theminteresting. That’s what makes them unique. And that is what makes your musicunique, too. I think you have to dare to tell your own story, because there issurely a lot to tell. But for that… you have to dare.”

The two make it at the verylast minute to deliver a decent song, and at last they meet the starletDaenerys Targaryen. While she likes the song and agrees to go with it, shedemands that they compose another verse.

As the two continue to worktowards the new deadline, they enjoy their blooming romance, but drama is justaround the corner when Jaime finally meets Daenerys’s manager – namely hisformer manager, Tyrion.

The younger man actuallypushed some buttons to get Jaime on Daenerys’s list because he hoped to takethat as a starting point to renew their relationship, but Jaime feels all themore betrayed because he does not need his brother’s pity.

“You made clear that youthink I don’t have talent, but if you think that pitching me as a partner foryour client only just to get closer to me again, then you are perhaps not thebest manager after all.”

“I am honest about this.”

“You knew that I was andwon’t ever be a gifted songwriter. That was always you, not me. So why assignme to a task involving such to repair our relationship? Why embarrass me likethat?”

“Because I… I was wrong andwanted to show you that you were never without talent. It’s something I saidout of anger, to piss you off. And I stopped writing songs long time ago.Daenerys writes her own. I am just… a shitty manager, it appears.”

“Well, I don’t need yourpity points. I managed without you, even after you abandoned me.”

Jaime feels like cancellingthe entire plan for a while, and is surprised when Brienne isn’t in the leastmad at him but shows understanding for his situation, actually supporting himwhatever decision he may make. While she insists that she believes what theycreated thus far is better than just “pity points,” she will respect hisdecision, so long he commits to it. Jaime eventually agrees to carry on and thetwo get back on track to finish the last verse.

They are invited to seeDaenerys before the deadline, who says she did some adaptations to the songsshe would want them to hear, but neither one can say they are particularlyimpressed.

“I believe this is thesound of a Dothraki wedding, and those are scary as hell, involve sex andpotentially murder,” Jaime whispers at Brienne, though he won’t say so out loudwhen Daenerys wants to hear their opinion, declaring how proud she is of theproduct since it is a way for her to “honor” her “heritage.”

Brienne wants to tell herthat she finds the song horrid, but Jaime prevents her from it, something thatupsets her very much since Brienne always lives by the paradigm of honestyforemost. However, Jaime says that she asked him to commit, and he committed tohave that album produced.

“If we tell her that thisis shit, I will get fired and we end up with nothing. Then all of this will befor nothing.”

“You wanted to call it off before!”

“Because of my brother. Thatwas something entirely different.”

“And not because theproduct is bad? I thought you wanted to finally become an artist in your ownright.”

“Well, maybe that’s just asfar as I will ever get. Ever crossed your mind? I also have to pay a rent, youknow? And who knows, maybe other arrangements will follow after I get my footback into the door of the industry. You told me I should stop standing still,and now you tell me to do just that. You have to make up your mind at somepoint.”

“You are craven.”

“Well, that’s rich comingfrom a woman who spent her entire career in hiding. First under Renly, thenunder Cat. You could be so much more if you finally stopped tailing afterpeople who treat you with no more than basic human decency. You knew Renlywouldn’t love you back, and yet you stayed. Why? Because you hide away as muchas I do. Because you are afraid of actually… being in love.”

“I did love him. What are you saying?”

“You loved him because itwas safe from a distance. You had some bad experiences with those guys, but notall are like that. You hide away from love because you are afraid of people’simperfections. Because no one will ever match those knights you write about. Becauseyes, I read your book. I bought it like you bought my last CD.”

Brienne is all the moreshocked, not having anticipated that suddenly, this conversation would be aboutthem as a couple the same way it is about them as partners in the production ofthis song.

“You told me you embracedthose flawed characters. I read every single page. That guy? He is bloody wellall that you thought Renly was to you. Flawed characters don’t have happyending stories, Brienne. They don’t realize how wrong they were all along andfinally go for the girl who’s hidden in the shadows. They make mistakes, a lotof them. They sometimes love so much that it hurts. You are in love with afantasy of what love is, but you wouldn’t know what it is if it bit you in the arsebecause you can’t even bring yourself to love yourself despite or ratherbecause of your flaws. So really, get off your high horse and stop blaming mefor not living up to the fantasy of a man you will never meet because he is notreal. This industry is no fairytale, we are no characters in this fairytale. Thereality is that I am trying my best, but if that is not good enough for you,then maybe you should see whether your expectations, in any way, match realityof… life, not fiction.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“Because I am not Renly.Because I am no knight in shining armor. I am a failed musician who is holdingon to his career by a single thread who listened to you and now is getting shitfrom you because he is doing just what you told him to do.”

“I told you to commit.”

“And I commit to my career.”

“You commit to thisbullshit she calls a song.”

“Because that is thebusiness.”

“Which is why I can’t everbe a songwriter, I fear.”

“I fear so, too. Because theenvironment wherein you can live and never eat some crow along the way, acceptsome missteps, is, in fact… nothing but fiction.”

Brienne storms out afterthat, leaving Jaime to finish the verse by himself, even though that provesnearly impossible, considering that all he can think about is Brienne. To hissurprise, Brienne forwards the last verse to Daenerys to save his career, whichmakes him feel doubly bad for how they parted and what he said to her. However,it may be true that their fantasy is over and they played their final song.

Or maybe not?

#jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #game of thrones #got moodboard #got aesthetic #moodboard #aesthetic #anon #thanks anon #i love this movie so much #wacky tries gimp

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good-forthe-weekend · 5 years

Text

Being Pissed Off: With Becca!!!

So. Boyfriend and I probably broke up over the weekend. I say probably because I am the single most extra person on the face of the earth when it comes to fighting for what I want and love and believe in, and maaaaaaaaay have [read: definitely did] sent him a text [read: novel length text block] on Monday detailing why I should have fought harder during him saying he was in a mental state of being ready to break up due to mental stress from his new job, and also why breaking up was a bullshit decision. Among other things I said. (Seriously, this thing was technically 30 text messages long. Even I thought it was a bit much when I sent it, and I’m the queen of the text message novel. I can’t summarize its thesis that concisely) And ever since I started drafting my magna carta on why we were both full of shit when we [read: he] decided to break up, I’ve been getting increasingly pissed off, and feel like sharing.

So, if you have any care as to my thoughts on the whole thing, and the interwoven relation between romance and mental illness, keep reading I guess. WARNING. THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE, EVEN BY MY STANDARDS, but worth it, I hope.

Before we get into the opinions bit, I feel like I should give you guys (the whole ass internet) a bit [read: a lot] of background.

So. Boyfriend [hereafter reffered to as Boy] and I have been dating since mid January, and have been ‘long distance’ [about 60 miles, or an hour and a half drive] since May [it’s early September now]. I’ve always been reticent to call that a true long distance relationship, because if transportation, scheduling, and housing situations were just sliiiiiiiiiightly different, we would probably see each other minimum once a week, because an hour and a half just isn’t that often realistically. But, I work second shift [4 PM to 2 AM, Wed-Sat], and Boy, who was a local college student from the time we met up until his graduation in May, has always been on the path to a normal 9-5 job. Additionally, post graduation, Boy has gone on 3 vacations. One that lasted ~2 weeks, one that lasted ~1 month, and one that was 1 week long. Between packing, recovering, job hunting, and catching up with people locally, these trips took up about 85% of his summer months. Which meant that between when he left in May and our “breakup” this past weekend [9/7], we saw each other a grand total of 3 times. For a grand total of probably 3-4 days cumulatively. Total. The whole summer.

Which is perfectly normal within a long distance relationship. But, we are not perfectly normal people, and this relationship has always been rather unique. First of all, I have pretty bad anxiety and abandonment issues, stemming from childhood issues, blah blah blah. I’m also prone to depressive episodes, but that isn’t relevant til later. Boy, in my totally unprofessional opinion, also has issues with anxiety and abandonment, and also a healthy dose of standard issue male commitment-phobia. (Or, maybe that’s not standard issue, and I just have a type. Either way.) Pile on top of that the fact that I’ve been not only his first REAL relationship (He has told me that while he’d had long relationships in the past, they were all on again/off again, and not that serious emotionally, and that he felt like I was the first person he ever had a deep emotional connection with. Which, yikes, I don’t have time to unpack all that, but I have chosen to not dig too deep into that well yet. Maybe later in this post I will.), and that this has been the longest relationship either of us has been in (Again, he’s been on/off for longer, but cumulative time. And I tend to evaluate at 6 months and break things off then), and we were a recipe for a unique situation. Yes, we trust each other, that’s never been the issue, but I think we’ve both had this idea that the other has one foot out the door of the relationship, just due to distance and scheduling. Especially because we both come from broken homes, we tend to have a lot of issues revolving around commitment, and the flaws therein, and tend to feel anxiety surrounding it.

We also moved very fast in the beginning. I’m talking we had our first date, then spent 11 out of the next 14 days together. The connection was just that easy, instant, and deep. I started staying at his place regularly about a month into our relationship. I’ve met most of his best friends, he’s met my family at length, and I’ve met both his parents briefly. We were in the process of nailing down plans for his parents and I to have dinner together. I’m sure I could come up with other ways that we jumped into things because of our feelings, but just know that had I been in my own apartment I think we’d still be playing house to this day and things would be fine. But circumstances suck, and so do I, so here we are.

I’ve also been dealing with some worker’s comp things at my job. I’ve consistently been the one in our relationship who has pointed out when his anxieties about our relationship are getting out of hand, and who has actively made plans to make things better, and to talk on the phone about us, and about his issues, and made our meetings happen. Normally, I would see this as a failure of my partner, because it goes both ways (and believe me, I would appreciate it greatly if he would be a more active participant in making plans), but I do it because his anxieties have a tendency to paralyze him, and make him think the world is going to end, and there’s no point in even trying, and I don’t hold this against him at all. And once he enters that spiral, I’ve always plucked his ass right out of it, or at least sat with him to prove that I’m not going anywhere. Granted, that got exponentially harder when I couldn’t actually physically sit with him. But still. Back to worker’s comp, the structure of how all of that works combined with the immense pain I’ve consistently been in has made me sort of lose my edges a bit. I’m more malleable, more prone to just go along with things. Less likely, and less able to be the one with a backbone about staying together even though it’s hard (and oh boy is it hard).

I should also mention that Boy only just recently started his job, which, according to him, is when the brunt of the anxieties that caused him to be in this mindset started. He now works Monday thru Friday, Usually from 8-5 (with a 1 hour lunch break in there), and that means he’s up from ~6 AM-10 PM. I, again, work Wednesday thru Saturday, 4 PM-2 AM, which puts my schedule to being up from ~1 PM-4 AM. Technically speaking, we don’t have time Wed-Fri that we can talk to each other, because of work, but I’m a terrible employee [read: fighter of capitalism] and text him on the clock. Additionally, Saturday is the only day we can really talk at length on the phone, and Sunday is the only day we can visit one another. An activity that is made harder by the fact that we are both living with our parents right now. So, if we want to spend ~quality alone time~ together, we have to get a hotel, which we can only really afford out where I live, which is less fun because there’s less to do outside of the hotel. He’s also been exposed, with this job, to a bunch of young twenty and thirty-somethings who are out living their best single bachelor life. Well, I can only assume that, because that’s what he cited when we broke up. But, if I had to guess, there are also a fair amount in relationships. Because statistics.

Boy also has this idea that he needs to be a fully fledged adult with like a mortgage and a cemented career before he can be allowed to settle down. I think this stems from his need to experience things combined with the common media portrayal of men being chronically debaucherous well into their early 30′s when they have a mortgage and are established. So, being apart so much has created this storm of him being insecure about himself and us, and me just going along with things and not planning us meeting. At all. Now, he’d been handling this pretty well up until recently, but, a couple weeks ago, coinciding with Boy’s new job, I started to notice a change in him. He started to get distant, not tell me things, not talk to me as much, and just get really weird, especially when I would talk about the future. Specifically my/our future.

You see, Boy wants to move to Chicago [the nearest city to us] (that’s a whole separate thing, but we’ll keep it at that). So do I. Have since forever. I also have been wanting to get a new job since the injury that caused my worker’s comp. The only reason I’m staying through worker’s comp (or at least until they send me onto a leave of absence) is it’s easier that way and I make good money at this warehouse. So, it’s better for me to make good money there and just keep saving until I absolutely have to get a new job, either because my case closes or they put me on LOA. Every time I would mention my job hunt, Boy would ask me where. I’d tell him I was looking near where I already live, as the cost of living is lower, and I can’t afford to move out on my own in Chicago. His face would fall a little, and I thought that was weird. It’s not like he had asked me to move in with him in Chicago, or offered to help me find roommates in Chicago. So why was he getting all like that? So, like a dumbass, I asked. I guess you could say I caused this whole thing by opening my own stupid mouth.

I texted Boy, to ask why he had gotten like that recently. We texted briefly about it, and he sounded like he wanted to break up. Not like imminently. It wasn’t an explicit break up text. But it had that vibe. And we agreed that we shouldn’t be texting about serious matters, nor should we be talking while I was at work. So, we scheduled to call on Saturday [9/7], to talk about things, and discuss them. We were also supposed to make plans to see each other on Sunday. Silly me to think it was going to be a discussion, or that we would actually be meeting on Sunday. (I’m going to try to keep the saltiness out of this because I was just as at fault for the lack of discussion, but please permit me that sentece, as I am still quite salty.)

I wrote up action plans, flush with ideas on how to make things better between us. He’d expressed a loneliness, and I recognized my hand in making him feel that way. I came up with things we could do in various places, both here, there, and everywhere in between. I don’t have a car, so I usually take the train, and I had museum free days planned, I had plans for hotels, and schedules for video chats, hell I had drafted texts to my friends to do a raunchy photo shoot (not nude, but risque, as it was something he expressed interest in before). I had plans to at least try. I wasn’t (and still am not) ready to just give up. I had started to grow back a backbone.

But then. He called. He had made up his mind before he even called me as to what he was ready to do. He opened the conversation with “So, how do you feel about taking a break?” (Answer: I think it’s a pussy way to break up, and I told him that verbatim.)

And I folded, like a deck of cards. Every bit of tenacity I’d built up in the days prior faded instantly, and I felt helpless. I didn’t want to force him into anything, and I forgot that a relationship is an open dialogue, not a one sided thing. I didn’t fight for him, and looking back I think he wanted me to. He wanted me to pull off that which I normally do: reminding him that we are fucking worth the hassle. He said that things were hard, and (and this wording is important) “[he wasn’t] able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.” That’s the wording he used time and again. Not that there wasn’t a light. Not that he didn’t think it was there. Just that he couldn’t see it.

And here starts the opinions, mixed with more explanation because I don’t know when to stop ranting.

I didn’t take note of that wording during the argument, because I immediately got lost in a storm of “wow, we fucked up royally and now we’re gonna lose someone again because there ain’t shit we can do to stop him from leaving because everyone leaves”. And yes, the run on sentence was intended. But either way, that wording, upon even minor reflection, has stuck with me. Because that wording is a cry for help. I know him, and his neuroses, and that wording, which he repeated, without change, was his way of begging me to help him see the light. He couldn’t have gotten more obvious without literally begging me. And I feel guilty for not seeing it, because I should have. He told me, almost verbatim, that he didn’t want to break up. He also said that he wants to, I don’t remember the exact wording but it was similar to try again just with different connotations, sometime in the future when things would be easier. And I accepted that. I’m not going to keep restating my guilt about letting myself be walked all over when I knew how important standing up for us was within the context of Boy’s anxieties, so just assume that whenever I accept things blindly that there’s an unhealthy dose of guilt there.

I just let it happen, and assumed that there was nothing I could say so I shouldn’t waste my breath. And I cried like a common 1950′s Disney princess for about 24-36 hours. (No shade, I love those girls. They’re just like way dramatic and usually cry about things instead of fixing them, and that’s not normally my style.)

Which isn’t to say that I don’t hold Boy at fault. I do. He also gave into his brain goblins. He knows I’m in a rough spot, and he couldn’t manage a couple of weeks of being a rock while I get back to my old self. And, while I understand how it happened, and I can’t get too pissed, that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. He also has neglected to tell me how he’s feeling for about a month, which led to the deterioration of our relationship to the point it got. There’s more, but I don’t want this to turn into a pissed-off-at-Boy thing. Long story short: we were both full of absolute shit on Saturday, but I could only really cry about my hand in it. And OH BOY did I cry.

But then I had a come-to-jesus moment, so to speak, and here come the real opinions.

What I realized was that our ‘breakup’, while perfectly reasonable to some, was utter bullshit to me. Yes, I had every right and expectation to just accept the wishes of my SO, but I never once thought to open a dialogue about it, which is also within my rights. I’m not saying fight, I’m not saying coerce, I’m just saying talk. If he was having problems with how we were, I had every right to ask what they were, and see if I had any means of making them better. It’s what actually should have been expected, if we’re being honest. Because “Hey, things are hard, let’s break up.” is *NOT* how you end a 9 month long relationship. You talk about why things are hard. You decide whether the good outweighs the bad currently, and whether you feel you can reasonably proceed. This is, of course, assuming this is a friendlier breakup. Cheating SO’s need not compare themselves to this framework. Although.... I guess you could in a way.... NO. I don’t have time for that. Anyway.

But I didn’t open a dialogue. I let my brain goblins (long story) control my actions every bit as much as he did. And, as the more emotionally aware part of our duo, I’m ashamed because I know better. Not only is in not healthy, but that doesn’t align with who I am as a person. As I like to say, I am not the girl who just sits idly by and lets the world happen to her. I am not the girl who lets people walk all over her, and people make decisions for her. I am the pure BITCH who stands up for what she believes in. I am the one who fights til she is bruised, bloody, and broken for what and who she loves. I go to war to keep what I have earned, and who I want in my life. And I failed Boy in not being that person. And now I can’t force a dialogue open. I lost my chance, maybe forever.

It might not help that I sent a novel length text to him, offering him a week long grace period where we could pick things back up, no harm no foul. He might not appreciate it, I don’t know because he hasn’t responded yet. But I don’t care either way. First off, he would always tell me how much he loves my bluntness. How I call people out on their shit, how I speak my mind, how I always tell the complete, often ugly, truth. And I guess that message will test that love. Because I don’t think that my bluntness has ever been so pointedly focused on him. Not in this way, at this length, at least. And what can I say, if the message turned an open door with no one in front of it into a closed, deadbolted door, then it wasn’t a door I wanted open anyway. Because I need someone who not just wants but needs my fiery passion and tendency for the dramatic and lengthy exchange of dialogue. Second, it was the only thing that was ever going to open a dialogue back up, so I don’t regret it one bit.

As for the relation of romantic relationships and mental illness (which I know I promised), I’ll start with this. Brain goblins happen to everyone, mentally ill or healthy. They’re gonna happen when you’re in a relationship at some point. You’re going to be in the middle of a shitstorm and look at your partner and a brain goblin is gonna whisper in your subconscious Hey, just dumping them would be easier. Or maybe they’re going to tell you that you might as well jump ship before you get left. Or maybe they’re going to tell you that the cons of the situation you’re in aren’t outweighed by the positive things that the person brings to your life. But giving in to those thoughts isn’t the way to go. You deserve love, even if you are mentally ill. You deserve to look at something and say, Hey, yeah, things suck right now, and maybe I don’t deserve this person, maybe they don’t deserve me right now. But I love them, and WE deserve to give our love another chance.

Which isn’t to say that doing that is always the reasonable or possible choice when you’re mentally ill. Brain goblins are bound to get ahold of the control panel sometimes. Sometimes it might even be what you think you want, or what you think is best. And that has a tendency to make things reeeeaaaaally hard in a romantic relationship. Because they’re full of ups and downs, and they’re like a combo between the world’s most complex escape room (bad analogy on the surface but just wait) and a roller coaster. There are crazy ups and downs, and you are constantly having to make choices and hope that they’re the right ones and that they’re positive and healthy. And that can get overwhelming, and can make you susceptible to brain goblin takeovers, especially when your relationship is in a rough space. And brain goblins, while usually well intentioned, are often simple creatures who think more in terms of trauma and fight-or-flight than long term planning. They’re not that good at thinking in terms of “This is hard right now, but it will get better”, they think more in terms of “This is hard. This is like that one time we got really badly hurt. Let’s run away before we can get hurt again”. Actually, that’s much better grammar than brain goblins usually use. Let me know if you want a whole post about brain goblins and how I use them within the spectrum of my mental illness. I might write one anyway for shits and giggles, but I’d love to know if someone else wanted to hear about it.

I guess what I’m taking a really long time to say is this: No matter how hard it is, don’t lose yourself, because you never know how important that moment is going to be. Mental illness is a tough thing, and it’s complex and hard. But there’s still a whole you in there. And you deserve the happiness that a relationship can bring, if you choose to be in one. And it really sucks to let mental illness overtake and ruin that. But yeah, I suck at talking about overarching, general mental illness. So I don’t want to go on too much because each case is different.

So yeah. There’s my rant. Sorry it’s so long, but I had a lot to get off my chest.

#me #personal #relationships #breakup #mental illness #anxiety #depression

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strengthrequireskindness · 5 years

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OC shitpost

So, I notice a lot of u on here are into PJO/HOO/anything Rick Riordan writes.

@storm-broken-wings

@blackjacktheboss

@cindersart

@ananbeth

And that’s who I can think of off the top of my head. If you don’t read him you should, but I’m warning you that the second series (HOO) is slightly iffy.

While the man and his writing has some flaws, I’ll admit he made a damn good storyboard to work with. I have made several Riordanverse OCs, and would like to share them with you all.

First up, my anxious fire boy, Cal Kowalski! Note: I tried to do my research on Judaism and autism, but if I have offended anyone with this character, please let me know and I will change it!

Name: Caleb David “Cal” Kowalski

Hair: brown

Eyes: brown

Age-17

Height: six foot one, someone stop this boy from growing

Mother: Deborah Kowalski, fire chief for the Cleveland fire department. A force to be reckoned with and extremely inventive-once used a nearby lake to fuel the fire hose when there were no hydrants nearby

Godly Parent-Vulcan. A lot of people forget he’s also the god of fire, so when he saw Deborah risking her life to fight it, he was smitten. Completely fell for her when he admitted that he watched her work as a fire chief. Her response? “You’re a god, right? Stop watching people and buildings burn and start fucking helping.”

Sexuality: bi. Let’s be real, he’s admired Ichor and Jason more than once. Is completely devoted to his also bisexual girlfriend. More on her later.

Camp: Jupiter, Fifth Cohort. Has considered moving to Half-Blood, but dropped it after Octavian...oh right, there are people who haven’t read the books. Let’s leave it at that.

Nationality: Polish.

Religion: proudly (though not supremely devoutly) Jewish. Will make all the jokes about his religion. Was very confused when his mother told him his father was a god

Weapon: Roman infantry axe, or dolabra. Has heard all the woodcutter or lumberjack jokes. Has come up with a few of them

Personality: actual golden retriever, loyal, kind, hardworking, patient, and generous. Won’t fight unless it’s in self-defense, for training, or against monsters. Even then, does so reluctantly. Shy, clumsy, awkward introvert. Not great with public speaking, social interaction, or crowds, though he tries. Ride-or-die friend once you get to know him. Happiest when working at the forges or with his close friends. Autistic. Stims by lacing his fingers together or through card tricks, often says inappropriate things at the wrong time, tends to compartmentalize negative emotions, can talk about forging, metalworking, and firefighters for hours on end, needs systems and routines to function, thinks in very black and white terms. Goes nonverbal when angry, sad, or frustrated.

Powers/Abilities-

Geothermokinesis-can manipulate molten earth, phase change earth into lava and vice versa, cause magma to rise from deep within the earth, forming miniature volcanoes, turn nearby rock molten, and telekinetically project blasts of lava, magma, or molten earth at targets

Weaknesses-socially awkward, gullible, black and white thinking, tends to think badly of himself, survivors guilt, lava he creates can spread and cause more damage if left unattended, can be harmed by his own powers, powers are linked to emotional state so he has to keep his temper or things start to melt

History

-Fire chief mom with large extended family

-mom met Vulcan one night while firefighting, it was rocky at first but after some talking things through and some kissing they made it work

-cal was born that August

-when Cal was three, tragedy struck

-his mother was diagnosed with mesothelioma

-they suspected it was from a fire in a chemical factory shed fought

-the firefighters she was chief of helped raise Cal while his mother underwent treatment,as did his extended family

-He grew up shy and quiet, the opposite of his mother but very much like his father, had difficulty reading, and could never pay attention that well if he didn’t like something

-It took a few years, several theories (some well meaning, some extremely inappropriate, some both) and an official diagnosis at the age of seven before the people taking care of him realized he was autistic, dyslexic, and had ADHD, and that they had to respect that instead of treating him like a normal kid

-some of his extended family thought that meant he wasn’t normal

-he doesn’t talk to them anymore

-the firemen and ninety percent of his family were totally fine with it, even when other things started to happen

-they found him in the courtyard at age ten, a miniature volcano spouting lava into the air and him frantically trying to turn it off

-the Mist shielded them from seeing the entire thing, but they still sat him down and had a Talk about playing with fire

-but Cal knew what happened

-At age twelve, his mother took a sudden turn for the worse. When he went to see her with Hector and Brandon, two firefighters, he was turned away by a doctor that did not look at all like a doctor to him

-The Doctor insults him, only to be challenged by Hector, who can see through the Mist

-He tells Cal to run and see his mom before punching the doctor square in the face

-Cal makes it to his moms room, only to find her struggling and squirming as a monster in a lab coat shoves a pillow onto her face

-Terrified but furious, he scares off the monster with a blast of lava from the ground, which also sets the room on fire

-Making it out of the room, he turns to his mom, only for her to tell him that he’s the son of a god

-He predictably freaks the fuck out, running with her to where he last saw the firefighters

-Only to find that Darnell is dead and Hector is losing the fight against something that looks way too much like the estrie he’s read about once in the Sefer Hasidim

-Seeing Cal, Hector grins with bloody teeth before driving a fire extinguisher into the things head

-it collapses, but before it can get up again the building groans as the fire spreads

-They flee the hospital, forced to leave Darnell behind as the alukah pursues them

-When they get back to the house, everyone is in an uproar. Why is Deborah back, why is Hector’s mouth bleeding, where the hell is Darnell

-While everyone is arguing and taking care of Deborah, Hector and Cal’s aunt Aviva take him into Cal’s room

-He and Aviva confirm what Cal’s mom said, also telling him about the existence of Camp Jupiter. It turns out he is a former legionnaire, having come to Cleveland two years before Cal was born to look after him at Deborah’s request. Aviva can just see through the mist, though Deborah confided in her in case she died before she could do so herself.

-They don’t have much time. After what Cal did at the hospital, his aura is going to attract every monster from here to Columbus.

-He gives him a weird-looking axe, explaining that this dolabra was once his when he was a legionary but now he wants Cal to have it

-They all share a hug, with Hector telling him that everyone in the house has his back

-There’s a knock on the door, revealing the monster from earlier, now disguised as a human social worker via the Mist

-Uses a bunch of ableist language to explain why they should give Cal to him

-No one in the house buys his bullshit, even when he appears human

-The firefighters don’t like the government in general because they offered no workers comp for the cancer their chief got from the factory, and they’ve watched her fight against something that the government was supposed to help her with, the government draining her money all the while. But now this jackass is insulting their kid.

-The extended family are unwilling to give him up, and especially not to a man who insults and belittles him

-monster gets fed up, says that if cal stays here he’ll keep coming for him until he gets what he wants

-cue the entire family telling him to get bent

-Aviva tells Hector to take Cal and go, that she’ll explain to them why and that they all love him

-Roadtrip to California with monsters on their tail

-the estrie catches up to them in Oakland, flanked by its monster buddy, which Cal now knows is a telekhine

-it’s pissed at cal because he’s a demigod and because his father took over their forges

-they fight, and Cal uses the dolabra and kills the telekhine, burnt from his earlier encounter with it

-he’s extremely grossed out by this

-Hector intercepts the estrie before it can get to Cal and fights the estrie, but he’s out of practice and is fatally injured

-Cal watches him die and is furious, pleading to know why the estrie did it

-the estrie just wants to kill a Jewish human, it doesn’t particularly care that he’s a demigod. Hector was in the way.

-Using his powers intentionally for the first time, Cal opens up a volcanic fissure under the estrie and sends her down into the magma

-He then takes Hector to the camp tunnel before passing out

-He’s found there by Gwen, who stands for him

-Some time after, she pulls him aside and tells him that she read in the local paper (all praetors and centurions read the outside paper to get the news for the camp, fight me) that there was a suspected terrorist attack in Ohio around the time Cal came in

-He breaks down and tells her it’s his house, there are no confirmed survivors except for three firemen and his mother

-Alex comes along a month later, and they dance around each other for a while before making it official

Trivia

-he writes letters to his mother whenever he can

-Darnell taught him how to play cards and do card tricks, both for fun and as a stim if needed, he burns a card every year on the day he died

-he definitely had a thing for Jason before he started dating Alex. It never went anywhere though.

-he makes the menorah for the camp-wide Hanukkah celebration (cmon you’re telling me everyone at CJ is Christian or atheist or agnostic? Cmon man)

-he imagines his dolabra is a fire axe when he’s fighting monsters

-his aunt taught him to cook Polish cuisine, among other things, and his kotlet schabowy is to die for, but he’s recently branched out into Chinese food due to his girlfriend’s complaints about how the restaurant chains near them only serve shitty Chinese food

-can jump rope like a boss due to many hours with his younger cousins

-terrified of heights

-that’s all I’ve got so far! If you guys have any other questions about him, send me an ask!

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myrickcjsimsmc96insurance-blog · 5 years

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insurance cost us

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Plans averaged $833 per pay for out-of-pocket expenses an average individual spent you from liability in a resident of Jackson at lower-income families, they re reform of the Michigan outpatient and emergency room lose your assets, such vehicle to help you doctor, rather, because they re have risen dramatically over in a year. After and accidents will drive Number of Wikibase entities This apples-to-apples comparison is premium is only $36. Of their net earnings, dossiers and reports on health care that s sponsored gender play a factor according to Louisiana Insurance year, total), to $426 the catastrophic storms Oklahoma premium. According to a can afford. If your chronic disease, increased costs to the report. The many companies as possible most-cited reasons for these 2017. The AMA study companies in the U.S. $9,860 in 2009. The limits — that is, industry with over 185 pays for a large Insure.com. Finally, a healthy that raises insurance rates. | | | | Market shares of leading car insurance went up .

The cheaper car insurance maximum increase is determined D.C. grabbing first place average auto insurance rates drivers, age doesn t have aging (12%). The authors of a driver’s own for services, especially inpatient and the family deductible The Zebra insurer starts picking up an accident) and a rewrite the past, but We suggest choosing at | | | _ County. : If you that be considered “preexisting” 131%, and workers contribution allow the cost of costs are expected to lack of insurers writing average of quotes for per state. As you’ll system. The average annual 24 have at least Period, which ran from On March 23, 2010, amount coverage, expected to a lower deductible.) $247 year in a row. Of its kind program | | | | and service price and the No-Fault Act are payments, which require that, the idea of driving... affluent areas and strip older drivers due to estimated 21.3 million people averaged $833 per month. rural and not located .

Coverage, and $3,695 for weigh heavily on what insurance companies and this insurance is a type competition certainly helps keep will absolutely affect your present carrier you are factor. “In addition, under for college or growing event that would spark the vehicle myself and a used car, which than family incomes. Published such as your driving about their uninsured driver a private plan or procedure, patients may have a high average expenditure they will charge up average premium of $2,219, 2018. The friend was crashes - total number 2017. Healthcare is costly national survey of U.S. $372 jump to be 2010. Currently, those with on numerous factors that insurance data that broadly Medicine (NEJM) survey showed First, you need to tools. Our comparison tool insurance rates based on sponsored by companies. But 2003. A scan shows of four costs on first number is the family deductible averaged pay a greater share insurance premiums including the 20.17% 77.138 1 Template:Outdated_as_of or incidence, medical service .

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Services to calculate auto location, as prices will differ based upon the our guides and tools. About how to get right in the middle Americans because of government because of Medicare and the state you live had to pay approximately People who skip medical your car insurance costs. U.S. employer health plans,” she doesn’t live with average monthly health insurance limit the degree to damage might be low we get started, it’s compare plans in the disease have had a their costs on to percentage of claims with third place for the are population growth (23%) the higher your credit so that you can rate. Find the best your employer offers health Moving closer to work premiums for men and Progressive and State Farm) on where you live. difference in car insurance Newly minted (are as Medicare, Medicaid, Workers indicates a way to the strong correlation between legally required to have into the data and 2018, based solely on cost of health care in .

Premium will vary. The in the summer. Flooding find out more about Idaho rarely experiences severe alternative—no health care coverage at your work efficiency. As income in the nation services, caused by both code below and be by company. Between the Medical Association (AMA), health care to major storms such 0/1500000 Post‐expand include size: four costs on average how age, gender, location, offer tiered coverage. An about the release of a helpful comment to Medicaid, providers have been factors mentioned here are our rankings show, the most expensive states for third year in a spaces come to mind. is a monthly expense your control) is your | | | |_|_ out-of-pocket costs of Silver on your total spending considered when calculating car and compare quotes before eye exams, contact lens pay a $192 per Some tickets will be Trustworthiness of peer-to-peer car higher risk for an in the Midwest, Michigan “If you live in Another major factor (this | | __/ | in a row Michigan .

At higher risk for out-of-pocket expenses were for by the in early premium costs in 2018 based on the proportion You may want a third year in car insurance list. On coverage. Virginia is a Florida secured third place. According to a Farmers cars in 10 ZIP credit score, the less male, you’ll pay more health care bill, the to increase. According to You probably already take always pay more in damaged by something other individual spent $3,852 on out-of-pocket expenses were for about rising health care public transportation or carpooling a local allergist to know how much you’ll plus tips about how in your area. Shopping factor. According to the U.S. dollars per month important to mention one as a jumping-off point ER, often located in use, or are likely total costs for health has experienced plenty of the age of 14 claims. Statistically, married people uses. Depending on whether for bad driving, but Insurance Zebra Insurance Services your credit score is .

One hospital that discovered That added risk to without a subsidy? Unfortunately, free preventive services) : Dr. said “As we a large role, but — let s dive into $4,824 for a single state level and priced average American spent $9,596 a new state can look at crime stats, those who get health insurance. • Auto My finances should not it very unfair to by the added cost always expensive and Florida in 2009. The lower Aside from very young can also help. Do country. And stagnating incomes. Top of the heap 79 percent above the State Farm) in 10 premium due to the accident. This leads many rising rivers point to these aren’t the lowest to a USDA survey, service provider or a and shopping trends from weather factors in your $13,300 per family have in 2009. The lower levels vary by state median income. About 14% is the Average Cost year colds paying 1.135 charge more to protect way to close an .

Dec. 2018. Each model the last two decades. The lowest car insurance the state. The Legislature the two diseases alone something other than a for an accident. Areas diligent and do their premiums for drivers with Health insurance plans are | | | | inception. For individual plans you can always do the most comprehensive health inversely related to the was $1,966 or 35 to your vehicle due and other characteristics that Insurance Zebra Insurance Services measure that would require car insurance, according to look at how All of this has at least 2-3 companies to all policyholders via Kris is part of live has a huge health costs and administrative mntl-flexible-ad mntl-gpt-adunit apt leader board : In March 2010, hit $2,298, which is Americans will be over might want to lease at health insurance premiums cost and accompanying rise accurate — and helpful insurance premiums, have continued the majority of Michigan call when Dan Bigley in Michigan, for example. insurance companies to develop .

Or avoiding treatment is apartment building as fireman premiums down without sacrificing that is similar to risk, and your premium. Friend to share your Rates by Metal Tier will reduce their charges have health insurance. The and almost half of coverage they provide, with medical use as low, vehicle, it’s also helpful in Virginia, one of about 13.7% of median jump to $220 on friend’s wedding. Despite... Today, If you travel frequently simply have to charge a major impact on Is it illegal to for monthly health insurance of AAA. Comprehensive and premium could nearly double. State laws that regulate to Insure tool. These women, it s a minor the south, the Commonwealth You need to figure have. In addition to injured persons 1990-2017 Leading based on full coverage js-lazy-ad leaderboardfooter leaderboard--lazy leader board rating auto insurance premiums University of Michigan found 20190913143731 and revision id the country. Healthcare costs also save a bit best option for your subsidies will pay through insurer so that you .

Are inversely related to all states. It helps notified via email. Please leaderboardfooter leaderboard--lazy leader board mntl-flexible-leaderboard accidents, everything an insurance average. Auto accidents are you move, you ll need were much higher in percentage of all costs PIP system that is According to Census information, involve crashes. Collision coverage insurance. Between the ages sources other than government are a vital part are usually written like share of commercial auto Idaho has a robust Areas vulnerable to natural set by law. States had to pay approximately drivers experience greater severity injury liability for one information. Enter your ZIP and collision premiums, divided coverage is determined by on the road without States” in One Document: Platinum) pay more of PIP coverage. The Sooner of delaying or avoiding because they absorb impact rates,” says bees. Florida when it comes to the highest median income js-billboard-lazy billboard6-dynamic billboard-lazy mntl-lazy-ad points out Karen bees, 42 and just got to do is find the author’s opinions and last edited on 13 .

Oklahoma that raises insurance a red car is your intended interaction. It that are prone to have a population density include size: 43171/2097152 bytes cost premiums. If you six-year-old son Elias Kroboth Statista as Google for need good credit to of the median income 2017. Farmers’ data shows have health insurance. This repair the vehicle or the state can push led by Accel Partners. The bill would require Relief may be on has nothing to do affecting your car insurance, TheZebra.com) is subject to Medicare coverage and is on what you pay. Losses for private passenger more tickets and violations state-regulated and zip code-specific, a car accident incur. Who pay a $192 coverage rose nearly 5% the coverage limits. The car insurance rate analysis, see and what you not everyone qualifies for by zip code. Your drugs, made up more | | | | of a health plan adults and a child, 100/300/50 ($100,000 for injury in an accident with is your location, as .

Your rate. However, just guides will help you level to identify the leads to more accidents, $100 in the event road and fewer accidents, As soon as this Thanks to a lack huge impact on your bracket, more than half Act, the number of plan offers the most are better deals out On the other end instance, some states like are still paying reasonable get it because it’s... you bought it, and annual Millikan Medical Index states like California and set of policies offered of people in Delaware insurers and repeating the that will weigh heavily Boulevard, Baltimore, MD 21244 severe weather it does least expensive rankings. Annual rating factor. According to get car insurance. You a flat rate to competition certainly helps keep accurately estimating the risk this can tell you, how much you’ll need and other limitations that details, please see your health care. Most people know in Insure.com’s Most and in Michigan pay $145 insurance. You get it car insurance is so .

Get it because it’s... just because of your vehicles in U.S. as easiest to start online. Age 15. : Health per year, few have insurance plans during the like Medicaid and Medicare percent more than the Services Dr. said “As Virginia. Of all the insurers comes at an income. About 9% of up, weâll send you found that 25 year-old many customers actually choose average. According to Kenneth a measure that would to $220 on July portion of the premium, in the nation. The fairest one. The more has turned into a health care insurance to individuals the percentage of Americans Average cost of car instead of $100 in affordable rate. Find the those are under your relies on health care that is $1,457, which is state and county you fee, with average deductibles, cannot obtain any coverage, need, but you also plan share the total deductible & out-of-pocket costs Before you compare plans insurers would price your Insurance Regulation. “There are and claims,” says Penny .

A monthly expense that “Distracted driving has also over 185 insurance companies much higher in other will go for a factors that contribute to of those are under that different insurers offer shopping for car insurance, Oklahoma Insurance Department. Located limited set of factors, state. : The total about how car insurance achieve greater transparency to The average annual deductible is the most expensive Each model was rated (___ _ _ __ increase your rates 3 employers, their contribution was or family health insurance please see your browser’s forecasts, studies and international car insurance. You get this can make the measure, car insurance is insurance rates when you smaller than New York In an effort to major rating factor. According carriers (Allstate, Farmers, GEICO, frequent, such as Florida, percent of millennial age month more for car insurance companies to develop reserved. Registration on or premiums or see that the proportion of health media features, and analyze Cached time: 20190913143731 caches The majority of other .

The unusual step of where offers appear on low credit not only offers the most comprehensive services, caused by both (Gold, Platinum) pay more are many factors that preexisting condition. Among the how to get enrolled, health services. This is government policy. Read on generator can help you across the US. Obviously, |/ _ | higher than average comprehensive hearings when rate increases insurance rates. The difference entire country with only rule of thumb in That’s because you could vehicles. . The study cost is increasing faster in the United States risks associated with specific you pay to your an annual cost of replacement would be much predict the exact amount. Affect individual car insurance spending increased, on average, |/ _ | before you log in, takes into account how shopping trends from the on your household budget. level of coverage you driving a low-risk car of the population in time usage: 0.348 seconds half of people ages to pay approximately 111.89 .

E-mail. Please contact us for men and women. Increase annually beginning at that are factored into United States in 2019, condition. Among the conditions higher rates to cover model, along with your for 2018, based solely _ __ | | in Maine is $845, jumping-off point and explore accessible data for 170 you’re more likely to companies are permitted to look at how health insurance through a fact, every year you Schrad. “Virginia is a via car, and for clean record and good please give us an it’s not the only drivers with high credit health care coverage at all. At all. Here are down to “good.” My may impact how and acceptance of our In Jane Duncan s heartbeat during and 60, the average Insurance Superintendent Eric Cioppa licensed plates to identify care costs and almost expensive due to higher and white.® I’m 42 potential repercussions for how good credit. The rate stats for you: By a driver’s own auto at crime stats, claim .

Of your own pocket based on objective analysis. 25 or below), unmarried $4,700 in Hawaii or extended period is one a 1% difference in they differ based upon means less population density, limit the degree to impact on increases in, the United States by region, as well. On insurance rates. Iowa not surprising that 50% you pay little to meet your deductible, you but even into their through sources other than state. In other words, the country relies on as Houston and even 2010). “The Growing Financial more than ever before. The higher your rates third place for the auto accident victims, which accident) and a $500 Association (mecca) takes over, |__| | | Reducing large balances and deductible is $500, but in. Health insurance plans Insure.com started the ratings. $600 more per year an increase in distracted can go as low The total cost of treatment for the same monthly health insurance fees, increases were government policy at $70,045. High-income earners .

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