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#I don’t really like kfc but it’s the thought that counts
doobea · 4 months
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✰⋆⁺★ WE KEEP THIS LOVE IN A PHOTOGRAPH ─ CHOSO KAMO
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synopsis: you're serious about getting an A for your photography class. so serious that you end up fake dating your best friend. and, well, it gets out of hand.
contents: no curse AU, gn!reader, sfw, fluff, mr ed scares me but his songs are corny bops, friends to lovers + fake dating, choso has been secretly pinning but waits for you to make first move hehe, a satosugu kfc joke thrown in here, i always make my readers a stem major but they're an artsy major here, i feel like choso will always be some sort of chem major in my stories because it just works???, kinda PROOF'D, i finished writing this at 4am... word count: 3.8K (crazy ik) a/n: i love him, i love him, i love him sm *explodes* songs related to this fic: out of my league by fitz and the tantrums + photograph by ed sheeran
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The best part about majoring in photography is that you’ve enjoyed every single project you’re given. This year, your professor explained that she wanted all of her students’ projects to always follow a specific theme — happiness, sadness, anger, etc. And, throughout the year, you’ve gotten nothing but A’s on all of them. It’s something you’re proud about, something that you didn’t hesitate to tell your best friend Choso when he had asked about it the first time around. 
However, this straight A streak might soon come to a stop as the end of the semester wraps up. Your professor had just gotten engaged a few weeks ago and today's the first time she’s returning back to classes from her honeymoon, which she hasn’t stopped gloating over. She’s happy and you’re happy for her, you really are, but the themes of the projects for this class usually revolves around what she’s feeling and, unfortunately for you, the last theme just happens to be—
“Love!” your professor writes the word in big pink letters on the chalkboard and you immediately hear half of the class cheering and half of them groaning. Safe to say, you’re part of the other half.
“Oh, c’mon guys,” she frowns before pointing to her diamond engagement ring. “Love is amazing, it’s beautiful, it’s everlasting—”
“Some of us are single, you know?” one student calls out, several others joining in right after. “What if we don’t have a partner?”
It’s a valid point. This project will be a piece of cake for anyone in a relationship. Half of the class will probably submit a folder with selfies with their partners. And, given that your professor is in a particular good mood for this assignment, it’ll be an easy A. You, on the other hand, have nothing to submit because you’re not dating anyone. If somehow your professor suggests taking photos of your crushes, then that’ll be really fucking weird.
“You don’t have to be in a relationship for this project to work,” she explains with a smile. “For example, you could always submit pictures of your crushes.”
Fuck that.
“Kinda borderline stalkerish,” your thoughts slip out quite audibly.
Other students around you quickly agree while the other half of the class is arguing to keep the theme. Your professor opens her mouth to protest but only ends up shutting it again.
“Okay,” she laughs nervously before clapping her hands together in an attempt to calm everyone down. “If anyone would like a modification to this assignment, just send me an email by the end of the day and I’ll make a slight adjustment.” she says seriously. 
That seems to work as some of your classmates are already typing away on their laptops. You’re tempted to join the list, not out of frustration of being single, but rather because you’re not sure if getting an A is possible this time. You’re wondering if you should even bother asking Choso to be your little guinea pig, but that would probably be asking a lot from someone who already has a lot on their plate. Plus, it would be really weird to actually ask your crush to be your pretend boyfriend.
“How was class?”
“Fine.”
Choso cocks a brow as he slides into the dining booth across from you. He has a brightly assorted platter consisting of various vegetables and a fat salmon filet. He’s been lecturing to you about healthy eating habits a week ago after catching his half-brother downing a bunch of fried foods and burgers. What a health nut. Which is why he splits his sides of vegetables and adds some on your sparse plate when he sees you have nothing but a lonely scoop of pasta and fries.
“No, seriously, tell me what’s wrong,” and he gives you that look where you know you can’t make up an excuse out of it. 
You gracefully jab your fork at some of the oven roasted carrots he placed down, chewing and swallowing them in a way that made it seem like they kidnapped your entire family. And, fuck, they taste really good.
“My professor told us about the final project today,” you start, eyes focusing only on your plate and avoiding your best friend at all costs.
“Yeah?” Choso slices a piece of the salmon off and plates it on top of your pasta. “What about it?”
You briefly frown at the action, feeling your cheeks burn up shamelessly because why does he have to be so attentive and perfect?
“The theme is ‘Love’ and… well, I don’t really have anyone.” you cringe, poking at the salmon until it shreds apart. 
Your friend goes silent, making a low humming sound as if deep in thought. After some pauses, Choso speaks up, “What about crushes? Or celebrities?”
Your eyes immediately flick to his face at the word ‘crush’ but you steel yourself before your emotions betray you. You begin coughing into your fist, pretending to be choking on a piece of noodle before downing your glass of water. 
“That’ll be weird, dude. I can’t just take a photo of my crush and I feel like celebrities would just be a shitty cop out.” Sadly, you’re quite the model student in your major, and you’re not going to half-ass a project just because it’ll still give you a passing grade.
“So, what’s your plan?” Choso asks genuinely.
You purse your lips together, shrinking back into your seat, gaze now downcast again. “I’m not sure… I’ve been doing really well in that class and, well, it would suck seeing a C on this assignment after all the hard work I’ve done.” you answer honestly. 
He’s silent again and you can feel his foot tapping against yours underneath the table. Choso doesn’t show emotion easily on his face unless provoked, but you can tell he’s really focused on finding some sort of solution because he’s chewing the insides of his cheeks, brows slightly creased under his bangs, and the tattoo on his nose is slightly scrunched up. You probably think he looks the same when he’s taking his exams and, for some reason, it makes you kinda happy that he’s putting this much effort into this silly dilemma. Though, makes you also feel slightly guilty, too. 
“Hey,” you put up your hands in defeat and laugh. “It’s alright, Cho. Unless you volunteer to be my fake boyfriend and I take cheesy selfies with you, I don’t think you gotta do anything for me.”
“No, I can do that.”
You go into a coughing fit again. “I-I’m sorry?”
“Well,” this time Choso looks slightly flustered, hand rubbing the back of his neck and the other drumming away on the tabletop. “If that gets you an A, then I’ll do it for you. If, you know, you’re okay with that?” When you don’t give him an immediate answer, Choso waves his hands dismissively in the air, shaking his head, “Actually, never mind, it’s a dumb idea.”
No, it’s a genius idea. An idea that you thought only existed in your fantasies. And, now, you can’t stop thinking about actually doing it. “We can do that,” you say quietly, swallowing a heavy lump. “A few sappy photoshoots and then we call it, yeah?”
Choso nods slowly. “Anything for that A, right?”
“Right,” you echo back.
The first photo shoot occurs pretty soon after the proposal. Choso had suggested that a dinner date would be a good start and he just happened to make a quick reservation at Kentucky Fried de Chicken, or KFC for short. He’s heard good reviews from his classmate Suguru prior and texted you its details.
Business casual, ambient lighting, and live jazz music. You’re starting to wonder if he’s taking this more seriously than you are.
The fancy restaurant is way fancier than you originally anticipated. It’s the type of fancy that only the richest of the rich would go to, definitely not where a bunch of college students like yourselves would hang around in. Still, it’s impressive that Choso managed to find a spot last minute. You hope to order just a mini appetizer to split and pray that they don’t charge for a glass of water like some places do.
“Fuck,” your eyes feel like they’re about to jump out when you breeze over the menu. “How do people justify these prices?”
Choso stifles a groan of his own, probably thinking about losing a week’s worth of pay to a side he can’t even pronounce. “Nepo babies,” he answers bitterly.
“Ugh, Suguru probably made Satoru pay for everything…” you mumbled. “Not that he would mind, I guess. He’s practically the definition of old money.”
“Sorry, next time I’ll pick somewhere less… flashy,” Choso frowns, seemingly disappointed in himself.
You feel a wave of guilt hit again. Shit, you didn’t mean to make him feel bad or poor on this pretend date. Hell, you can barely afford student housing but you would probably spend the last of your money in your bank account to treat Choso out. You’re under the delusion that he’s doing that right now. But, if anything, you should probably cover for most of it because it’s your project, not his.
You lightly kick his feet, careful enough to not scuff his only pair of loafers. “No, I’m sorry. This,” you motion to the hanging chandelier above the table and towards the live band across the room. “This is perfect, Choso. I’m gonna be jealous of your future partner.” you say fondly but also exasperated. 
This makes him tense up, and you’re wondering if somehow he does have someone in mind. You’re about to ask, but the waiter swings by with two glasses of lemon water and a side of complementary towels. When the waiter starts asking for your orders and you respond with ‘just the broccolini’, he gives you an eye roll and scribbles the dish down with most likely a complaint added to it. 
“Budget tight, I see.” the staff comments before moving to a busier table of actual business men.
You stick out a tongue once he’s out of sight. “Budget tight?” you mock his tone and Choso laughs from across. “Dude, the broccolini costs as much as a full tank of gas in this economy and he wants to complain about the size of our wallets?”
“Half of a tank of gas,” Choso corrects and waves his wallet around. “You’re my date for tonight, I think it’s fair that I pay.”
Your cheeks flush at his words and you’re glad that it’s dark otherwise Choso would probably think you’re having a fever right now. You swallow thickly, “Let me pay, you already cover for Yuuji’s groceries.”
“How about I pay for this and you can cover for the next photo shoot?” Well, you can’t really argue with that logic, as much as you do want to.
“I, ugh, okay fine,” and to lighten up the mood, you add, “As your date, it’s your job to spoil me tonight.”
Choso laughs a little, seemingly satisfied by your answer. “Yeah, I know.”
The broccolini ends up tasting subpar. But you both knew that, afterall, you couldn’t afford any of the entrees on the menu without going into debt. You split half of the dish, which really isn’t that much to begin with — maybe like three pieces for each person. You’ve seen Choso eat before, you practically have lunch and dinner with him almost every single day, but something about this feels entirely different.
He’s more careful, using the comically gold plated silverware to cut into the dish and making sure he doesn’t make a mess. There’s a certain softness in his eyes when he looks up, asking if the food is okay, if it’s too salty and if he should order more. Obviously, you say no, because you’re not the type to take advantage of his kindness, no matter how much he persists. When you manage to get a bit of sauce on your cheeks, he subconsciously reaches over and swipes it away with his thumb, only then do you smell his rich cologne and see that he’s freshly shaven in the face. It makes your dumb heart do even dumber flips until you remind yourself that it’s just for a class project.
The rest of the 'date' goes surprisingly well. Of course it does – you’re with your best friend, and the topic of fake dating doesn’t come up again in the night. You both end up making stupid games with each other about inventing fake backstories for all the rich old people in the restaurant, and you both have to bite down on your hands from laughing too loud.
It feels like a normal hangout but, in your mind, it’s so much more.
After another futile attempt to fight for the bill, Choso wins, and you both start leaving. You’re lagging behind him, hands fiddling on your camera settings as you look through the few photos you manage to take during the meal. The dim lighting makes Choso look moodier than usual, but the images still feel stiff and doesn’t really capture the whole ‘love’ theme. 
You only look up again when Choso tugs on your sleeves, dragging you gently out the revolving doors and finally into the cool, night air, and you can’t help but gasp.
Choso blinks and his hands fly to his face, rubbing around for any traces of green florets. “Is there something on my face?”
“Don’t move,” you angle your camera, getting down to one knee and making sure the moonlight is shining directly at his sides because he looks absolutely ethereal right now.
The camera releases its shutters several times, taking at least ten photos in case one of them ends up looking bad, which is practically impossible because it’s Choso — but you’re not going to tell him that. Satisfied with the outcome, you rush up to him, bumping into his shoulder, and eagerly present the finished results.
“One of these is definitely going into the project,” you huff out with pride and Choso nods besides you.
“I’m not usually the type to have photos of myself but these are good,” he agrees. “Mind sending a few over?”
“Yeah,” you give him a soft smile and laugh.
You decide to save the first one for your portfolio and leave the other nine for your memories.
The second photo shoot ends up being domestic themed. Which is way better than paying for an overpriced meal.
It’s the weekend and also your monthly movie night marathon with Choso, so both of you are currently laying on either end of the couch in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and sweats. You decide, in order to fit the theme, that the perfect movie series to put on is the After series.
“Did you know that this first started out as a One Direction fanfic?” you huddle your knees close to your chest, eyes practically glued to the screen as the introduction plays.
“Is that why the reviews are bad?” he jabs.
Your eyes widen, scooting close to his side and pinching his arm as punishment for looking up the movie prior. “Hey, you’re supposed to go into this blind.”
“You’ve already read it though,” Choso counters and nudges you back. 
“Yeah, and you haven’t,” you roll your eyes and somehow neither of you comment how close your bodies are. 
You understand why they have to change the names of the characters due to copyright laws but you can’t help but to cringe at the replacement names. Harry is now Hardin, Zyan is now Zed, and Liam is now Landon. And the acting? Pretty bad. Possibly even worse compared to the Sharknado marathon you both had last month.
“That’s,” you pull out your fingers to count, “like the fifth sex scene within the past hour.”
In the middle of it, when Choso is pressed up against you, you decide it’s picture time. You raise the camera to fit you both, and throw up a peace sign, because why not? It’ll make a cute photo.
Or so you think until impulsively, Choso leans down and plants a chaste kiss on your head.
The photo ends up looking comically cute, with his eyes closed and your surprised look, but you're pretty much trying to keep yourself together from exploding on the spot.
“Sorry,” he pulls back, and there’s a heavy blush running across his cheeks as he says, “I thought it would look good and fit the theme.”
“R-Right,” you sharply inhale a breath as you wordlessly lean back into his touch, continuing the film without bringing up the kiss again.
When the third film starts playing, Choso ends up falling asleep on your shoulder, and you take it upon yourself to steal yourself a kiss on his forehead, somehow convincing yourself it’s for the project without even taking a photo.
“Have you ever, I dunno, thought about the fact that he likes you back?” Nobara asks bluntly during one particular evening at the library. 
“Shh!” You press a finger on her lips, ignoring her muffled whines as you try to control the rapid beating from your chest. “Not so loud!”
Nobara sighs and pulls back, pen gliding across her notebook and draws a shitty version of you and Choso in the middle of the page. “This is you, and this is him,” she points at the figures before doodling hearts above. “This is you and him from everyone’s point of view—so disgustingly in love that it makes all of us physically vomit sometimes,” she says this in the nicest way possible.
“Dude,” you frown and hide your face behind a textbook, fearing that other students would overhear. “He doesn’t like me like that. We’ve been friends since forever and I feel like if we make a move on each other then our dynamic will be fucked.”
She blinks, unfazed by your frenzied state, and sighs again. “Keep telling yourself that.” Nobara rips out the doodle and slides it across the desk to you. You begrudgingly accept it, shoving it in your bag. “When are you guys meeting up? You have one more photo shoot, right?”
“Later tonight, in his dorm,” you mumble shyly, feeling yourself growing smaller at that fact.
Nobara snorts. “A sex photo shoot?”
“No!” and you slap a hand over your mouth once several students hush you. “No.” you repeat, softer this time.
She laughs and doesn’t push the conversation any further. “Mhm, okay, okay.”
A few hours later and you're browsing around in his dorm room, trying to understand some of his organic chemistry notes but all it does is makes your brain hurt.
“I don’t get how you’re able to do this,” you plop down on his bed, staring hard at the back of Choso’s head as he pulls out an earbud, chuckling at your frustration. 
“I can teach you,” he offers, to which you immediately decline. “Or not, that’s cool, too.”
It bothers you a little of how normal everything is. You’ve definitely moved on from the kiss. Definitely. Not like you replayed it every day of your life for the past week. Not at all. Completely moved on. Yeah. Maybe Choso’s doing the same thing? Or, maybe he’s completely engrossed in his studies and you’re just a sick, sick friend who’s using your best friend? Yeah, maybe that’s it.
You clear your throat after a few beats in silence. “What did you have in mind?”
Choso hums in thought before shrugging. “Maybe capture something personal in my dorm? I think that’ll work.” Then, he gets up and excuses himself to the bathroom. “If you’re hungry, I have some snacks in my drawers. Be back in a second.”
When the door shuts, you let out a deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding in. You’ve been in his room plenty of times and, after everything, it’s so hard to keep yourself composed around him. Ugh, this project wasn’t supposed to make you feel anything.
You take up his offer and start rummaging through his drawers. The top drawer consists of nothing but graphing paper and his carefully curated pens and pencils. His second drawer holds his other lab notebooks and extra scrap paper with scribbled notes. As you approach his third and final drawer, your gaze falls to an old photograph of you and Choso back in middle school on his desk.
It’s tucked away in the corner, just behind his lamp, and it’s a fond memory. Your arms are wrapped around his waist, his body slightly lifted above the ground, and your face looks absolutely constipated as you were trying your hardest to hold him. Choso, on the other hand, looks like he was about to burst into flames. Without thinking, you grab your camera and capture his desk, zooming in on the photo as the focal point. It’s slightly out of focus and a bit shaken up, like you couldn’t keep your hands still when you were taking it, but it’s perfect.
The following day you submit your portfolio, along with the rest of your classmates. Some complaining about how unfair the project was, some boasting about how it’s the easiest assignment out of the year, and some—you—are a bundle of nerves.
It’s not until the end of the week, where you’re having dinner with Choso in the dining hall, that you receive an email notification stating that grades are finally posted. 
You jolt from your seat, swallowing the last bits of roasted vegetables on your platter, before checking your grades. One. Two. Three… when the site loads, you practically screech in celebration.
“I got the A!”
“Congrats,” Choso smiles softly before it fades away, replaced by a nervous laugh and then a frown. “I’m sorry about kissing you the other day.”
Wow, that’s not exactly what you were expecting.
You choke on your drink but he continues, “I can tell you’ve been acting weird since then. And I think I stepped out of the line doing it. I’m sorry.”
Fuck, what are you supposed to say to that?
You scratch the back of your neck, face now equally as warm as his. “Don’t apologize, I’m actually kinda glad you did…”
He blinks. “You are?”
“Yeah,” you nod and Choso flushes more at that.
Then, his eyebrows shoot up. “You like me?”
“A lot,” and he gets even redder. God, he has no idea how much you’re madly in love with him.
“So, I guess we can start taking photos together like an actual couple then?”
You laugh, not fully believing that this is how your confession gets to be known. “Yeah, I guess we can.”
Looking back at every photo, every longing moment to the lingering touches, kisses, and the methodical layout of his room, you wonder if there was a moment where you faked your feelings for one another. The simple answer is no, to anyone, these photographs only contain unconditional love.
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© 2023 DOOBEA. do not copy any of my writing and translate/repost.
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h-harleybaby · 5 months
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Ignore this if you’ve done it but matching costumes with the boys… what do YOU think they’d wear as couple costumes with reader
~🍋
STOOOOP THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE AHHHH
I doing the main 4 + Butters because you didn’t specify them :)
Cartman
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• Would absolutely suggest doing something vaguely racist, but dw y’all don’t… even if you have to physically shove Cartman into the bathroom to change. He’s probably pissed about it the whole night tbh
• Probably makes you go as a KFC chicken bucket while he’s the Colonel Sanders because he genuinely will not shut the fuck up until you agree to it. It was so stupidly embarrassing
• He would most definitely force you to go to a party so he could show everyone y’alls costumes before dragging you out to go do other things. He really just wanted to brag and embarrass you
• Cartman will absolutely make you go trick or treating with him despite y’alls ages, and y’all stay out sooooo late that people aren’t even out anymore. He refuses to end the night until he hits up everyone’s house and demands all the candy they have
• At the end of the night you guys stop by the dollar and grocery stores to buy all the cheap Halloween candy that’s on sale. Don’t worry you’ll get your cut on the candy too, it’s just a bit… smaller than his cut
Stan
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• Stan doesn’t really care enough about Halloween to plan to dress up or literally anything, but if you insist he’ll probably throw something together quickly
• You guys go as Sally and Jack but his part of it is really half assed, he still looks good tho!! It’s just, a lot people couldn’t tell who he was as at first. He probably got so drunk he couldn’t even remember
• Speaking of getting drunk, he throws a costume party because you insisted on doing something for Halloween. You asked, he delivers! Everyone’s there, even people from straight up other neighboring towns. People hear alcohol and and will do whatever to get it
• An almost concerning rowdy party and it wasn’t even from the party goers! It was from Randy swinging on the Chandelier and supplying all the alcohol. Overall a really memorable night… well to most of the people who went
• Like father like son, neither Stan or Randy could remember anything from last night but regardless, they had an unspoken agreement. Never tell Sharon and never speak of it ever again, the night never happened. Well, the pictures you took definitely say otherwise
Kyle
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• Sheila insists on buying y’all’s costumes and she gets y’all some peanut butter and jelly costume. Kyle absolutely hates it but he would never tell his mother, thank god he has a job so he could buy something else and just change when you guys leave
• Y’all actually end up going as Morticia and Gomez Addams even though Kyle in general looks a little too colorful to be Gomez cough cough GINGER cough cough but regardless, he tries his best to slick his hair back and hunch over more so he could be shorter than you. It doesn’t work but it’s the thought that counts right?
• Half way through the night hall switched costumes because you didn’t wanna wear heels too long and he wouldn’t have to because of how tall he is. Shelley let him use her hair straightener and you’re pretty sure you burnt off some of his hair but it’s tooooootally fine, absolutely fine (he doesn’t know)
• Kyle was honestly kind of miserable the whole night, he didn’t really WANT to be there but you begged him to do something with you and Halloween and Stan would’ve dragged him to the party regardless if you asked him to go or not
• Though I suppose you asking really did help, he might’ve just bailed when he heard there was alcohol. Despite everything… he makes a really good Morticia but that was mainly because he was tall and would do the tango with you if you asked
Kenny
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• KEN AND BARBIE YOU SAY? I THINK SO!!!!!!! It’s hard to find something in his closet but he ends up trying to spray paint his parka bright pink and writing “I am Kenough” in black sharpie. Oh that poor, poor parka
• You had to physically force him not to try throwing together some haphazard dick costume that he wanted to use soooo bad. He tried to hard to convince you that you guys should go as a dick and sperm
• Thank god you guys didn’t, y’all ended up taking Karen trick or treating for a couple hours and she went dressed as a lil skeleton!!! It was the cutest thing ever, kinda stuff to make your heart melt
• After Karen got tuckered out y’all went to the party, might I add just in time to watch Randy scream and hang from the chandelier in only underwear. Honestly it was a lot funnier than it should’ve been, the man was stuck up there the rest of the night with you both passing up bottles of liquor to him
• Very memorable night for everyone involved, and somehow everyone knew what you guys were dressed as!! I suppose the bright pink and “I’m Kenough” really helped
Butters
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• Would also suggest something racist but he doesn’t really know it, at least you give him better ideas so y’all don’t end up coming off weird
• Y’all would totally end up going as Joker and Harley Quinn, it’s completely overdone and cringe but y’all still go as them. Green hair and shirtless and EVERYTHING! His parents don’t like it at all and he ended up getting grounded later
• God you guys are sooooo cringe together, like y’all quote Harley Quinn and Joker stuff the whole night if y’all go to a Halloween/costume party. Multiple people will gag and throw up in their mouths. Multiple
• He’s the type to go to the party with you and almost have a heart attack because of the music, he would be paranoid that his parents would ground him for hearing such music. Somehow they did and they weren’t even there to hear it 😭
• You suggested going trick or treating but Butters was convinced he’s too old for it and his parents would def ground him for being out too late with someone as pretty as you. After a lot of convincing you got him to hit up a couple houses with you before you guys went home, the old people were very confused
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ruershrimo · 2 months
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take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 1: nostalgia
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ao3 link for additional author's notes | playlist | next
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chapter synopsis:
'“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.' --- ' It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I'm thinking of the two of you all the time. XX
Love, [Name]
(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)'
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word count: ~5k; tws: none for now
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2-4-2015
Dear Fushiguro Tsumiki, 
How are you today? I’m so sorry that we haven’t talked in so long. 
Forgive me for asking so many questions in this letter— I know too little about writing them; my mother is the one who asked me to write this saying that it would help me keep in touch with my friends or write better (either of the two, I can’t quite remember). 
Between an urban area or a rural area, which would you prefer? I’ve had to go all around the place because of my mother and I’m still all the way in Tanegashima now. If you were to go from Tokyo to where I am, you’d have to either go for a drive lasting more than 20 hours or book a three hour flight. 
I’ve only stayed in the city once— that was when we were still in the same school, and we could all fit in my aunt’s apartment since my father was outstationed for the whole year. But I digress. Personally I prefer the city. It all feels so modern, and so much less empty than how it’s like here on this little island. I mean, we have the space centre, so I can always visit that, but after the third or fourth time you’d probably get a little bored of it too. 
I wish I could go to Tokyo again one day, though. I’d definitely take the time to visit you, too. I read on a pamphlet once of how pretty everything gets in Tokyo during winter time, especially during Christmas. We don’t really celebrate Christmas here but the pamphlet reminded me of that one December when we spent it at my aunt’s, we ate lots of KFC and had a little party while my aunt sang songs and drank enough alcohol to prove she had a liver of steel a million times over. 
It’s nice to reminisce on these things, and it’s nice to reminisce on when we were still there too. I know I never told you this enough, but I was so happy when you walked up to me on the playground that day and asked if you wanted to be friends. I really, really liked your hair and wanted to ask you the same. I was just too shy to do it, and thought that if I would I’d end up messing things up and mortifying myself. I miss that and you and I miss 2010 and I miss Tokyo, and walking back from school with you and Megumi (you were like my cool older sister), and I really, really miss doing each other’s hair. It was the most joyful I’d ever been in my then 8 years of life and every day was a new fragment of happiness to keep in my heart like a picture in a locket. 
Now I really want to go there again, and maybe go to the Shinjuku-Gyoen, or see the lights at night. I wish I could stay for a whole year and see how the trees can change from being highlighted cherry blossom pinks, to lush greens with summer dew on them, to golden ginkgo leaves. I’d keep them with me, too. I hope you can take me there one day and we can see everything together again. My apologies if I’m asking too much of you. 
Also, how is Megumi? I miss him too. Is he the way he was, still? Is everything okay between you and him, still? Unlike elementary school, the boys in junior high are all taller than the girls, so since we’re the same age do you think he’d be taller than me too? Is he taller than you, or are you still one of the tallest girls in junior high like how you were in elementary school? 
It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I’m thinking of the two of you all the time. XX
Love, [Name] 
(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?) 
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28-2-2011 
The train to the airport is arriving in a minute, and you’re sure your mother won’t let you just wait for the next one, so you’re stuck clutching your little luggage bag as you look at Tsumiki and Megumi, that inseparable pair, and their snowy-haired “benefactor” (whatever that means. You think he’s more like their father sometimes, though). 
Even if you knew it was inevitable and that this day would eventually come, especially with your leaving Tokyo being pulled even earlier than you thought it would, a part of you pretended that you’d still get to stay with them for a little while longer. In Tokyo you’d solidified your place and built your roots— you had friends, were doing alright in school and had even begun to be less anxious about everything. Now you’d be uprooted again, you thought as your fists trembled, Now you’d be back to square one. 
2011 had started as a busy year— your father had begun preparations to move somewhere else where you and your mother could follow him and the three of you would be together again. It was busy for Tsumiki, too, who had more school matters to tend to due to her being one of the best, most well-rounded students in her year (you didn’t know much of the details). 
…it had also begun with you seeing a dog when you were alone with Megumi once. It had these unique markings on its head, with alabaster fur and jaundice-hued eyes. And Megumi then had a panicked look in his eye, asked how and why you could see them as well as whether you’d seen them before, which you suppose caused him to be busier after that, too. Tsumiki and Megumi’s benefactor visited you and your mother the night after, asking to speak with your mother and your mother alone. He paused before you, almost shocked, you supposed, but you couldn’t see through his pitch black sunglasses (he was one weird guy, seriously— pitch black sunglasses? Really?). To which she frowned, as the man uttered that you could be a “window”, but that you could still be able to use “cursed energy”, or something. You’d heard of neither of those, and weren’t able to eavesdrop or discern anything else they’d said. 
Then nobody else mentioned the dog anymore. 
If you questioned any of them, you’d only be told that the dog was a stray, and that those markings must have been a particularly special birthmark. Yet you knew it was all a lie, but after multiple tries you gave up on wondering. 
When you’d first learned you’d be moving yet again, you cried and screamed for your mother to let you stay, and for what felt like hours. After relaying this to Tsumiki, she just put her hand on yours before hugging you— always wise, always kind, always smiling, you can’t say this enough about her. Megumi patted your back before she pulled him in as well, and for once he didn’t shove her hand away. You couldn’t even bother to be confused at that— you just continued to weep as Tsumiki comforted you, whispering, “I can’t promise I’ll always be able to talk to you, but I’ll try my best to keep in touch when I can. And even if we don’t, we’ll always be friends, okay? So we’ll meet again someday, don’t forget that, okay, [Name]?” 
A day after that Megumi told you to stay safe. Nearly ordered you to swear you’d stay safe and protected, always. He said that the world was dangerous since it was full of dangerous creatures and people who could kill you at any moment, but as long as you were on an island like the one you were moving to, you’d be fine. You furrowed your brow at that as he held your hand and felt him squeeze it— subconsciously, most likely. 
“Well,” Tsumiki starts, a tinge of sadness in her tone, her eyes slightly swollen. Megumi’s expression is unreadable but his fists are balling the fabric of his shirt and his leg is shaking. It makes you want to sob and cling to both of them and you know if you did they wouldn’t ever let go, “I guess this is goodbye, [Name]…” 
Before you realise it, tears start pooling in your eyes and soon they’re trickling down your face uncontrollably, just like the day when you’d first met her. “We’ll still be friends, right?” You won’t leave me, right? 
“Mhm!” Tsumiki smiles— she was always smiling, always, even when she was about to cry along with you. Her lip was trembling and for a second you swore you could detect that in the ever-stoic Megumi, too. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be friends forever, so we’ll surely see each other soon enough,” Tsumiki assures you, close to sniffling, “We made a promise to always be friends, right? So you’ll see the two of us again in just a few years’ time no matter what.” 
“Okay,” you sniff, “I’ll see the two of you when we’re all grown up, and… and I’ll be taller, too! I promise I’ll visit Tokyo next time!” 
“...that’s good,” Megumi says, his leg still shaking discreetly, joining you and Tsumiki’s conversations in a way he’d rarely done. 
Tsumiki nods, “Yeah. That sounds really, really good, [Name]. Wait—! Let me give you something. You can call it a gift!” 
She takes it off, and her hair unfurls like flowers from bouquets after they’re untied, placing the red-ribbon hair tie securely in your palm. 
“Your hair tie?” you ask, “No, it’s okay—!” 
“Please, just… just keep it, okay? It’s a gift from Megumi and I to you, [Name]!”
Then you’re in her embrace again as you clutch the hair tie, while after a little hesitation Megumi joins in and you swear you can see their benefactor smiling— not just the smile he had when you first saw him, this one in particular seemed proud, fatherly, the same way your father did when you told him about how you were able to read through a whole book with beginners’ kanji in it. 
“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. 
The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye. 
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15-3-2011
The phone continues to vibrate in your hands as you anxiously tap your foot on the ground. You’re sure it’s going to end up sore. Frantically, you press it almost forcefully to your ear when it stops ringing. “Tsumiki, Megumi!” 
“[Name]!” 
“Are you alright? I saw the footage of the earthquake on the news, are you safe? Were you and Megumi evacuated, are you all safe? Please tell me whether you’re safe—!” 
“Megumi, it’s [Name]!— Don’t worry, we’re safe now.” 
Relieved, you sigh, “That’s good, that’s good,” you say, “It must’ve been really scary…” 
“Mhm— everything started shaking as if we were on some boat in the middle of the sea and the waves started getting wilder, and it was like the ground was rumbling.” 
You shiver. “That sounds so scary…— I’m glad you’re safe, though. I don’t know why stuff like that has to happen so quickly sometimes, and so suddenly, too. And it takes so many people along with it. I thought I could’ve lost the two of you.” 
“Well, we made a promise,” she tells you, “So don’t worry. —Oh! Megumi wants to talk to you. Here, Megumi.” 
“Are you alright?” he inquires, “Have you seen anything scary in the countryside?” 
“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t seen anything. Why?” 
“Nothing. Just wanted to know.” Now that sounds like a bold-faced lie. 
“Uh-huh, okay.” 
-20-5-2011-
“Hello? Is this Tsumiki? I need to ask if she’s alright—” 
“Oh, little [Name]?” a man says over the phone— the benefactor, you remember, “So sorry, she’s pretty busy right now… call next time, okay?”
-21-5-2011-
“Hello? This is the Fushiguro house contact, right?” 
“Sorry, Tsumiki’s busy at the moment. Me too, actually.” 
“Megumi!” you smile, bringing the phone closer to your cheek in excitement, “How is everything?” 
“Good, to say the least,” he replies, “We’re just a bit busy. Sorry, but I’ve to hang up soon.” 
“Oh, oh-okay! Bye bye, Megumi!” 
“Bye.” 
-13-7-2011-
“Hi, [Name] speaking. I called twice last month and a few days ago. Are you still busy?” 
“A little— well, Tsumiki is,” the voice on the other side says. You know it’s not Tsumiki, not yet at least. “She’s really sorry, [Name].” 
“No, no, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother any of you either, so thank you for telling me!” 
“Well, if you want I can try to get Tsumiki right now,” the voice offers. 
“Really? Thank you so much!”
The pause that ensues after is followed by the fifteen happiest minutes of your life since February this year. 
“[Name]? Is that you?” 
“Yeah! Hi, Tsumiki!” 
She gasps slightly in the way that children do when in awe or when someone finds out they’ll be eating their favourites for lunch. “Hello!” 
“How are you?” you ask.
“I’m good! Really busy, though, so I’m really sorry if I can’t call you as often… but everything’s been alright. You?” 
“Mm,” you hum, nodding your head even if she can’t see it, “I’m good, too!” 
-18-8-2011- 
You don’t know when you started heading to the phone and keying in the number, doing everything but ringing it. You’re busy, too— you’ve less time now to ring them up, and the last time you did, Tsumiki still apologised but sounded a little distant, just that one bit too busy to be able to tend to you. One step farther away from you. And Megumi was seldom ever the one by the phone. Still, you could understand why. You supposed they always had something going on that you never understood or never asked about. That would explain the incident with the unusually marked dog. No, they weren’t sketchy, but there was definitely something they must have known about the world that you didn’t. 
Now you don’t know if you can even muster the courage to talk to you or write to you. The distance between you has widened exponentially and you hesitate just a bit more every time you hold the phone and press its buttons. 
Then the phone rings, and after you hesitate once more, you put it down. 
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9-2-2016
If there’s one thing you remember from about half of your life ago, it’s that your first crush was probably Fushiguro Megumi. 
You’re honestly surprised it wasn’t actually his sister. That over Tsumiki and her abundant compassion and beautiful soul, you’d feel your heart leaping and overflowing with warmth because of him instead. Constantly angry, never for once not irascible, always serious and aloof. You’re sure that if you’d met him now instead of back then you’d find him some asshole who you just wouldn’t be able to understand— why’d he always have to seem so angry? 
Yet it was a struggle, trying to understand him. It really was. Maybe you didn’t really have to understand anyone, much less Megumi. He never ceased being so serious and easily angered but you could tell from his eyes that he must have not intended to hurt anyone; half of the time you understood him: like when you could see that glint in your eyes that replaced what would have been a ghost of a smile on his lips, the other half of the time you didn’t: like whenever he shoved Tsumiki’s hand off his shoulder, and Tsumiki just continued to smile. Now, that really confused you. You’d thought about that for days before coming to the conclusion that you’d probably never find an answer. 
Conversely, Tsumiki was kind and patient. If you’d met her now you’d have fallen in love with her immediately and she probably wouldn’t even notice in that terribly goodhearted, unknowingly innocent way of hers. 
In retrospect it should have been more obvious: he scowled at you and if it were anyone else who did so to you back then you would have merely cried and closed in on yourself, yet you never did when it came to him. You just continued to stick to him like those kind of glue residuals left behind after you take a sticker off a table or a price tag from the back cover of a book. You were probably annoying like that. And to some degree you suppose he’d given you his own form of special treatment by letting you do so anyway. 
If you’d known what you were feeling back then you probably wouldn’t have admitted anything, anyway. Probably you would’ve kept it all within you, quiet and unnoticed, trying to drown yourself into life’s backdrop like an insect engulfed in resin. 
But you’re older now, more mature and slightly more outspoken; you’re going to try to be confident and meet someone, this one person alone who you can only meet now without his sister there just because you used to have a crush on him and— 
You don’t think you’d be able to admit anything either. Yet to yourself he’s the first. He always will be, and you’re not sure whether that sounds pathetic, miserable or disgustingly, hopelessly delusional, considering you don’t even want to pursue anything yourself. 
It’s going to be Valentine's Day soon and you’re quite sure that most of your school friends are making Valentine’s chocolates for their boyfriends or their crushes. In all truthfulness, you might as well not feel blue about it— you’re 14, that’s still pretty young, you don’t have to rush things like relationships or confessions through and you’ve been told to focus on your studies instead— but the thought that you’re going to be alone is still kind of depressing. 
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10-4-2015
Dear [Name], 
Don’t apologise— it’s partially my fault. I ended up being really busy that year due to something we had to deal with. 
But anyway, it’s been so long! I miss you every day as well! 
Megumi and I’ve been great, and I hope you’ve been too. It’s been a long four years since we last talked (it’s already 2015, how time flies!), but you still sound the same. It’s like you’ve got better handwriting now, though! 
Aside from the fact that I’ve been swarmed with stuff to do (I joined the student council, yay!), junior high has been okay, to say the least— and hey, I’m still pretty tall, you know? Plus, a lot of the teachers say I’m surprisingly tall for my age, heheh. Things are going the same as always. I’ve got accustomed to the loads of homework we have now too. But it’s like Megumi’s been having a problem lately— he’s getting into fights, beating people up, things like that. I wouldn’t call him a delinquent, though: moreso someone who beats the delinquents up instead. I know what he wants to do and why he does it, but I don’t want him to fight other people and get himself or others hurt. 
I’ve tried to tell him this before, to be honest. I’ve tried it many times but each time I must sound more annoying to him than the last— I don’t want to force him to do anything, though, and I understand that part of why he does this is because of his own ideals. I just want him to not raise his hand against others. So I have to resort to this. 
Sorry for spilling it all on paper like this… I just wanted someone to talk about this to, and I thought you would listen to me, I suppose. Sometimes it’s hard— sometimes I really do feel like his parent instead of his sister and it makes me feel so lonely, really. 
Oh dear, what do I do to make him hear me, seriously… 
Anyway, I totally get what you mean— I’ve stayed in Tokyo all my life, but I’m sure that if I was uprooted and had to live somewhere else I’d have lots of trouble. Tokyo to me is my home, and my whole life is here. Moving somewhere else would probably shatter it completely, I think. 
And please visit when you can! Maybe if your mother allows it, we can come to us instead, one day! And it’s not like we can’t visit you either. Our door’s always open. Once this school year ends, perhaps we could stay with you for a night or two! (If you would have us, of course). 
Besides that, I don’t really have much to say. I did have a good day today, though. I went out with some of my friends from school after our classes ended and we ate some donuts. They were so tasty!!! Honestly, whenever you have the time, I really recommend going there with some of your friends after school!! 
Regardless, I think this is all I have to say in this letter. I promise I’ll try my utmost best to always set aside time to write to you!!! Get some good rest whenever you can, okay? Miss you always! 
Sincerely, 
Tsumiki 
(P.S.: Do you have an email or a phone number of your own yet? If so, please shoot me an email or give me a call! I can reply more there since I have those now and can use those instead of always relying on our house contact.  You can keep the hair tie, too, by the way! It can be like a memoir (*^▽^*). And it’s for you, after all!) 
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13-3-2015 
You remember seeing a little dog one time back in your hometown when you were around six or seven years old. 
It was a tiny little thing, with the fluffiest black fur you’d ever stroked, and though every second it was barking louder than your mother could ever handle, it was adorable and seldom threatened to bite anyone. And it liked you— it never barked at you and let you shower it with pets despite how much it had frightened you initially. 
He was irritable but calm, someone who frowned and scolded but never raised his hand against anyone— not even that “benefactor” of his who you’d never heard him talk about without mentioning how much he’d like to punch him someday. You genuinely don’t think he’s ever done so, either. He doesn’t seem like the type: from what you remember, if he were to think he’d hurt someone he knew or evidently cared about— as much as he’d like to deny this, however— he would blame everything on himself, you think. He’d feel the guilt rake through his body and lacerate his skin, piercing through his ribs. Yet he’d keep living, and he wouldn’t tell anyone about it; he’d be so quietly miserable. 
That’s what he was like: quietly miserable. There’s a certain sorrow in the way he does things; you could tell this from the start despite how young and inept at articulating yourself you were at that age. But you’d always known and sensed that there was a sadness running through him, coursing through his veins, one that you could feel like heat from the warm blood beneath one’s skin. 
Today you wonder if he’s the same, if he still seems like the saddest person you’ve ever met, if he still seems like he would have been the saddest and most doleful had he not always tried to act as if otherwise, living defiantly against it. If he hadn’t always been able to keep living while suffering quietly like a child with nothing but muffled sobs in the desolate corner of an empty classroom. 
But at eight you thought maybe you could liken Megumi to a puppy. Or something like that. He certainly reminded you of that all-bark-no-bite puppy from the past. You wondered how it was now, whether it was still being fed and taken care of. 
Tsumiki was vastly different, though— the kindest girl you ever knew, with neat, soft hair and the type of handwriting all the girls in her class wanted to have. She was always smiling, always kind— you thought she was immensely wise for a girl around your age; you always wanted to be as amazing of a person as she was: always hardworking, always clever, always kind and forgiving, no matter what. 
…you don’t even know why you’re thinking about some kids you met once who you’ll probably never see again. Just two kids who you never kept in touch with. Or at least never tried to. You had their contact— you tried talking to Tsumiki a few times, but for some reason she could only ever reply once or twice (she apologised profusely for not being available any time she picked up as well), and as time passed the way the distance between the two of you grew, by the summer of 2011 you’d begun holding a telephone close to your ear without keying any number in it, as if clinging onto it would provide you with any sort of closure. 
You miss them, though: smiley Tsumiki and frowny Megumi. 
Leaning back into the mattress, you trace your fingers over the hair tie on your wrist, fingers rubbing against each thread of fabric in its red ribbon. 
Could you even talk to them or face them anymore after ceasing contact with them for years, though? Heck, you don’t even know whether they’re alive or not. Would they be angry at you? Disappointed? Feeling as if they’d been wronged or left behind? 
Still, you miss them. You really do. 
Your mother’s calls bring you downstairs, and you eat until your stomach is full before washing your plate. The only other step in your routine now is to head up and retreat to your room again. 
“Come down, [Name], could you?” your mother says, interrupting your trip back up, “I just want to talk to you for a second.” 
Now, that… that was a bit strange. Your mother rarely ever asked you to talk to her. You spent enough time with each other as is, doing almost everything else besides being in school or at work in the same house, even if it never meant asking about each others’ day. It just was never part of the conversations you had with each other. You’d ask where she wanted you to throw things or how you could cook something, but she’d never go out of her own way to learn about your own day since you were about nine or ten, and it wasn’t like you ever did either. Perhaps she was trying to make the effort to? 
“What is it?” 
“You like writing, honey?” 
“I mean, I guess so?” you reply hesitantly, “As long as it’s not for school or my grades don’t rely that heavily on a task, writing can be pretty fun.” 
“Good, good,” she remarks, nodding her head, “Actually, I recently found something you may be interested in online. You still have your friend and her brother’s house contact, right?” she questioned. Instantly you know which friend she’s referring to and say yes— how could you not, after all? “Ever heard of pen pals, darling?” 
Which brings you to where you are now: your mother leaning by the door frame of your room as you’re hunched over the table writing the letter. Surprisingly, she really seemed to care about this, even preparing the prettiest paper you’d ever seen, with pastel pink patterns printed on the paper’s edges, and though you struggled with what to say it first the words have begun spilling out of you despite how late it’s started to get. 
You wonder whether she’ll reply. She probably will, though, but a fragile part of yourself surmises that she may not, and although you’d like to talk to her again you fear that because of the time that’s passed things may just not be the same anymore. You wonder if the years have made the three of you infinitely different than your eight and nine year old selves. 
But that was growth, right? So you had to grow and learn how to talk to her, learn how to face her without thinking that she’d be angered or frustrated, or anything like that. And even if she did, even if it would hurt you, you’d be able to live. The world would keep spinning and all that would be lost were two friends who you lived without for about four years, ceteris paribus. Who could claim that the seventy or so years after those four would be any different? 
That’s why you took the pen and paper and started to write, telling yourself you’d face it and finish the letter no matter what. Even if it was short. Even if it wouldn’t be enough to express four years’ worth of unspoken words, from funny things that had happened in school, or what you thought of whatever was on the news, or how your parents had gotten you a new phone. 
As your eyelids gradually grow heavier, you watch how you fill two whole pages in the handwriting you have— you wish it could have been at least a tad bit more similar to Tsumiki’s, who never needed any boxes or lines to write completely straight and uniform for each character as if copying excerpts from finely printed books to the letter. 
Soon, you’re reaching the end of the letter, determined to keep the handwriting legible even if you feel like plopping your head on the table and falling asleep— to some degree you still need it to look presentable, after all. 
“(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)” 
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purplesurveys · 11 months
Text
1675
When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? It was actually my mom’s voice that woke me up and the first thing I thought of was holy shit I’ll be late for my dentist appointment.
Is there anyone that you feel owes you an apology? If so, what has that person done? Nah I don’t like having beef with anyone.
What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten recently? I got a KFC Double Down last night that I actually wasn’t able to finish because heartburn LOL. It’s still in the fridge; I might have the rest of it tomorrow as I don’t feel like having it right now.
Be honest. Have you had any dirty thoughts today? Yes.
Do you remember the last dream you had about the person you love/like? I’m not interested in anyone.
What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? I have a leftover slice of coffee cashew cake here and at most it reminds me of my mom as she likes sans rival, which also has cashews.
Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? That’s not even something to be discussed – no.
Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? When I was in Grade 6 I wanted to model because I had friends who used to obsess over VSFS and it was all they posted on their feeds and I thought, cool I kinda want to do that too. That died out pretty quickly.
Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? My brother when he was younger because he was the brattiest, crybabyest toddler to ever exist.
Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? I’ll take whatever. A compliment is always lovely to get.
Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nah. I almost did when a friend got a pregnancy scare and she was too anxious to get a PT herself, but everything calmed down once she got her period.
How did you meet your best friend? Did you like them at first? I met her in Grade 1; we were seatmates. I was indifferent to her at first as I was a shy kid and preferred to mind my own business, but one day I accidentally stabbed her palm with a pencil and for some reason that actually brought us closer together rather than bring out a fight.
Do you find it harder to apologize or to accept apologies? Accept. I tend to hold grudges.
Have you ever had toilet paper stuck to your shoe? Most likely, yeah.
You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? I’d love to get a whole new wardrobe with everything I’ve been wanting to buy and wear, from tops to sneakers.
Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? I’m sure we’ve all tried it at least once exactly to see how we’d fare, haven’t we? Hahaha it was terrible as expected; I don’t have a good grip with my left hand at all.
Would you try to frame somebody else if your mom committed a murder? I think I’d be way too much in shock to even think of doing things like that. You wouldn’t be able to count on me to do something about that situation.
Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Sure.
What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Idk, maybe illegally downloading music and movies.
Sex, menstruation, or puberty - which is the most uncomfortable subject? I don’t find any of those uncomfortable.
What does the comforter on your bed look like? Did you pick it out? It’s a BT21 comforter that Reena got me on my last birthday.
When you picture flowers in your head, what color are they? Lilac.
The last time you went to the mall, what did you go for? Picked up my new glasses. It was a really quick trip as I didn’t feel like doing anything else. All the coffee shops there were packed that day so I headed straight home.
What do you plan to do tomorrow? I have an event to manage – a track meet from 5 AM to around 11 AM. The rest of the day I plan to catch up on rest, but am thinking around dinner we’ll take mom out as it’ll be Mother’s Day.
Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Of course. I’d be impressed if there was anyone who needed to be around people absolutely 24/7.
If you got paid $5 per survey you made, could you make a living just doing that? For sure. Do you see how many I take? Hahaha.
The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? That would be this afternoon – I went to a nearby coffee shop to finish some work, then right after I spent time in the car to basically break down and cry and scream because I hate that I had to work on a weekend and still have an event to get through tomorrow. Then I took the long way home so that I had more time to be alone and process my feelings.
When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? Last December when Kaye and Lea bailed last minute from our pre-Christmas gathering. I do remember being a wee bit annoyed as it was like the third time in a row they canceled on us and I had been really excited to hand them their gifts, but I got over it quickly as there was no point in staying annoyed.
Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? It would be nice to do it every now and then, yes. Especially with my dad as we don’t get enough time with him in the first place.
In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I like wearing sleeveless tops; for bottoms I prefer to still be covered up, but instead of jeans I’d usually opt for something more airy so that it doesn’t feel too suffocating/uncomfortable.
Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Yes, it was some Fil-am who was trying to convince me that Filipinx is an acceptable term. I just ignored them as at the end of the day we were going to have different opinions anyway and it wasn’t worth my energy and time.
When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? Yep because most of my time is spent working from home, which I do in my room.
If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. I like that they differ from most Filipino parents in that they never called me out in the times I’d sleep in.
How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? I’m a big overpacker and like taking extra clothes with me as I tend to change my mind a lot; planning outfits in advance doesn’t work for me. So if I’m on vacation for, say, 4 days, I’d usually bring clothes good enough for 6 or 7.
Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? Sure if it comes down to it, but the food has to be prepped for me or I have to be rich enough to afford vegan meals because I can’t cook hahaha.
If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I get along great with my sister.
How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Less than a year.
When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I was around 12.
Do you find piercings attractive? Eh, it’s a hit or miss.
How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None.
Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? I haven’t.
Do you think it’s attractive when guys wear beanies? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. I don’t really feel strongly towards beanies.
Do you own a black leather jacket? Nope.
Are you a seafood fan? Yesssss. I don’t really like cooked fish but I can still have it. Everything else is great. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk or white.
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Today is very important (it’s the tap dance club)
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evacado3 · 3 years
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Hey 😃 can I request about Vasco with s/o who taller than him? Thanks 🏃🏻‍♀️
Ngl, was kinda surprised when I received this. Me myself is not very tall sooo it might be a little confusing, I’ll still try but don���t judge too hard 😅
hcs
To him it doesn’t matter, nope
Though Jace kinda sees you as a threat
You might have been mistaken for the leader instead
Will try the hair pulling thingy again with you after seeing little Daniel succeed
Will challenge you to touching the door frame
Wanna teach you how to fight, but respects your hobbies
Jace thanks you cause Vasco's not crying for girls no more, and you actually drilled some common sense in him
If your Tabasco's girlfriend, unfortunately you are officially burn knuckles' queen
So don't too surprised if a group of tattooed guys follow you every where, come on they're only checking if you're safe
Uses BURN KNUCKLES SECRET MOVE [INVINCIBLE CHARIOT] for you
Be aware of the ceiling though, will kneel with their head down if you ever get hurt
Burn knuckles will not need a order from Vasco if anyone tries to hurt you, all of them will go berserk
Shopping havoc
Word count: 1213 one-shot
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It's been a month of dating the head of burn knuckles, and you're still convinced that he likes kangaroos more than you. No he really made plans to adopt a kangaroo when you agreed to date him.
The scene was basically you blushing after accepting his confession, but only to hear his dreams of having that large animal when he gets married, leaving you very flustered in public.
Though what embarrassed you more, ever since you were young, was the fact that you are taller than the young man before you. You could see he doesn't give it a single shit about that, but insecurities don't leave after a day.
For the last month, every time you made a comment about your height, he'd make a baffled face. "I think it's cool, what are you talking about your height is perfect." No he really doesn't understand why you have it hard on yourself.
Did you fall in love, obviously, yes. Though Vasco doesn't comprehend the reason behind you're insecurities, he assures that not only is it normal, it's beautiful, you're beautiful. Some height ain't gonna scare homeboy away!
So that's why today you wanted to take your relationship on to the next level, the 'normal' level.
I know, the 'normal' level is very correct. Come on does Tabasco really understand the concept of kissing?
Yes, he might have given his umbrella to you on a rainy day, he might have pinned you to the wall just to ask "You do want McDonald’s or KFC?"
Obviously you knew he doesn't have any experience, so fine, you waited. But after another two weeks it came to you that if you don't bring it up to him, he will never figure that out.
So what better to do than teach him on a date? You've planned out all the possibilities and the events that might occur, it took days to work up the nerve to ask him on a date, alone.
Ok, alone. Not with some big group of guys following you, you even begged Jace to make it clear. Alone. He said yes after seeing your desperation, using his detective skills straightforwardly.
"Good luck on that, you might have to even show him a video on how to kiss."
Fine don't ask what video you chose. Anything to open up his eyes to this current problem.
So you weren't sure why, along with your boyfriend who showed up in a nice loose tee and jeans, you felt seven more pairs of eyes following you.
Are you kidding me?
"Hey Vasco, how you doing today?" you asked faintly, despite your height, you're a softie at heart.
"Hey, I'm great, so we going to get some clothes? I could use some new pants."
Yes he does, have yall seen him running around in pajamas?
You tried hard to ignore those guys at the back, what happened to Jace's promise? They all gave out a suspicious aura, everyone was basically looking. And it's whatever if they walked far behind, they're literally stuck to their leader's ass, not even leaving one meter of space.
You could say the date proceeded well on Vasco's side, it was a regular date and you even picked out some nice pants for him. But on your side? Uh... not too great.
Every time you tried to make a move, there just has to be something that stopped you.
"So babe, umm I was wonder-"
"Mister, we are having a sale this month, would you like to pick out another pair to get 30% off?"
As if that wasn't enough, the boys would send you looks of encouragement at the back like it would soothe your embarrassment.
Sighing, you stepped into the final store you wanted to go in.
"I'm gonna pick out some clothes for you too ok? Wait here." he said with enthusiasm, already running off without hearing out your response. Obviously you couldn't trust his choices, but let the boy have fun.
So you minded your own business waiting for him to come back, but why did the receptionist look at you like that. Wait, she turned back to her friend while pointing your way. What's going on?
You could see them giggling after exchanging some words. They both spun your way, one of them making her way to you and the other one just laughed trying to woe her back.
"Hello, yes you over there. How tall are you?" she snickered.
It was almost as if she was the one over towering you when she stared at you curiously. "Uh... I-I'm not too sure." you replied softly, wishing she'd leave you alone.
"Hey no need to lie, damn your voice doesn't suit you at all. I thought you'd sound like a man! You must be at least 180 miss girl!" she exclaimed, though everyone who heard knew, that was spoken disrespectfully.
But you could only nod and fidget a little, not wanting to cause a scene. There was already a few people looking over to you, but shooting glares at the clerk. You were happy that they knew she was the one trying to disturb you.
"Your little boyfriend over there, isn't he bothered? If it was me I definitely would be disgusted. Are you sure he isn't just playing? Oh, do you play basketball?" her ranting agitated the customer, but still showed no signs of stopping.
Your blood ran cold as she kept speaking, what did she say? Isn't Vasco bothered with me?
What if the reason that he hasn't shown me affection was because he was disgusted?
On the verge of tears, you muttered out, "please stop."
"What?"
"Stop, I do not feel comfortable with you speaking to me like this." you expressed clearly.
She scoffed when she recovered from shock, "hey lady, I asked-"
"I'm not." Vasco stated, popping out by your side. You flinched in surprise, but immediately blushing after he gently wrapped his arm around you.
"I heard what you said, and I'm saying I'm not disgusted or bothered by her." He said with a hint of anger. "Please return and do your job, my girlfriend will not like to speak with a girl like you."
Honestly, no words can express how happy that made you, your man stood up for your insecurities while being respectful. How did I end up with such a good man like this?
The girl gasp with an offended look, but looked down after meeting Vasco's eyes. She stuttered out a weak 'sorry' then fast-walked back to the counter.
Ignoring the cheers of other customers, he walked you out of the store. You were still dazed, eyes focused on the man whose eyes where ahead. Maybe the date was good after all.
But before he kept walking, an unexpected sweet peck landed on your cheek. Your face now resembles a tomato.
"Huh?"
Wait, what was that
THAT WAS SO CUTE
You saw in the between those guys, Jace sent you a sneaky wink.
"Was that ok?" Vasco asked, he doesn't look shy at all. Does he even realize what that means?
"Wait Vasco, continue no more, the queen is heating up!"
"The queen is all red!"
"Vasco you killed someone!"
Guess who got assorted out the mall today.
=================================
Forgive me for putting this in two parts and releasing it so late, I was busy memorizing the periodic table 😀
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Coffee of the Week pt.2
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Icon credit: @thatspookyagent
Summary: This is the second part to Coffee of the Week, where Colin takes the reader out for their date. You can read Part 1 Here
Warnings: None this is pure fluff
Word Count: 2245
"So," Mare said in a bored voice. "Have you decided where you're taking her for your date tonight?" Colin paused for a moment before answering, which confirmed Mare’s suspicions
"No I have not." Colin said, doing his best to avoid Mare's judgmental eyes. 
"Really man, you had all week to think of a place."
"I know." He signed leaning back in his chair, he swiveled it to the side to face Mare. "But like where would I even take her? There's only like three restaurants in Eastown." 
"Hey!” Mare said defensively. "We have four restaurants you're forgetting the KFC that's attached to the Taco Bell." Mare joked as she began to put away her papers. 
'My bad." Colin smiled to himself at Mare's little joke. It seems that lately she was warming up to him, it was nice to be able to joke and talk to her like this. He watched as she cleaned up the rest of her desk.
"But seriously where are you taking her." Mare glanced at the clock on her computer screen before shutting it down. "It's already 6:30 you should be getting ready by now."
Colin glanced down at himself. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?"
Mare pursed her lips. "Nothing. Just forget I said anything." 
"See there's another thing I have to worry about now." Colin ran a hand down his face. "I haven't even been here that long so I don't really know where is a good place to eat at.” Colin sat with his head in his hands for a moment before lifting it up, eyes glancing towards Mare. He turned slowly towards Mare, a hopeful smile on his face. "Unless you-"
"No." 
"Mare-"
"No."
"If you could recommend-"
"No." 
"Mare please!” He had stood up at this point and moved towards Mare’s desk, she had scooted her chair away from his approaching form, her face scrunched up at his persistent pleading. “Please tell me where to take her! I really like her and I don’t wanna mess up." Mare finally glanced over at him through the corner of her eye. He looked like a kicked puppy, he was so desperate it physically hurt her. 
She sighed. "Fine." Colin's face split open in a wide smile. "Stop that." She snapped, he immediately tried to change his facial expression back to neutral but Mare could see he was trying to fight back his smile. "You should take her to the Italian restaurant that's near the center of town, one of my friends works there." She tore a piece of paper off one of her reports. "Tell her that Mare sent you and she'll make sure to give you a good table and treat you and (y/n) well." She handed the paper over to Colin.
His eagerly grabbed it and smiled widely at Mare, "Thank you so much Mare you-"
She held her hand up to silence him, pointing an accusing finger. "Don't make this into a big deal detective." Mare shrugged on her coat and made her way towards the door. "And if you tell her it's a date she'll throw in a free dessert.
"Thank y-"
"Not. A. Big. Deal." Mare slammed the door shut. Colin smiled at her fading figure, she was definitely warming up to him.
Colin’s heart was beating out of his chest as he pulled up to your house, a million thoughts running through his head. Things like was he too early? It was only 7:30 he wasn't supposed to pick you up till 8:00. What if you weren't ready, was he dressed up enough, was he over dressed?? He shook his head trying to clear all the thoughts that plagued him. 
He made his way to your front door and after a few seconds of hesitation rang your doorbell. The sound of loud barking made him jump up in surprise. “I’m coming.” He heard your voice yell and the sounds of your footsteps approaching the door. You opened the door with a smile, you were holding a big fluffy dog by its collar as it strained against your hold. “Hey Colin! Sorry about him, he always barks when someone is at the door.” He glanced down at the dog, it was eagerly trying to pull its way towards him, tail wagging intensely. “Let me go put him outside. I don’t want him jumping all over you.”
With zero hesitation Colin said. “Let him go.”
“What?” You asked in surprise.
“Let him go, I wanna meet him.”
You let out a little laugh.“ Are you sure? He’s a jumper.”
“Of course!” You let go of your dog’s collar and he went barreling towards Colin, who was squatting down with his arms wide open. Your dog ran into his arms and knocked him flat on his back. You rushed forward to pull your dog back until you saw Colin laughing. Your dog was licking him all over while Colin nestled his face into your dog’s fur. “You’re such a good boy aren't you?” Colin asked as he petted your dog, your dog just wagged his tail even faster and tried to lick Colin’s face even more, you smiled at the sight 
“It seems he likes you.” You giggled out. 
“What’s his name?”
“His name is Tino.” 
“Hello Tino, I’m Colin.” Colin shook your dogs paw introducing himself. You smiled at his antics and squatted down next to him, rubbing Tino’s soft ears in your hand. “What kinda dog is he?” 
“I’m not sure, I adopted him from the center in town and no one seemed to know what kind he was.” Colin nodded at your answer and tried his best to stand back up, it was a task in itself since Tino kept trying to knock him back down. You stood up as well and let out a small laugh at Colin’s appearance. “What?” He asked. His once crisp shirt was wrinkled, and his perfectly combed hair was all tousled. He was covered head to toe in dog fur. 
“I think Tino may have gotten a little bit of fur on you.” He glanced down and saw all the dog's hair sticking to him. He laughed with you and did his best to try and pick the dog hair off. ‘Wait here.” You went inside and came back with a lint roller in hand. He took it and began to roll it up and down his clothes. You moved closer to him and brushed his hair out of his face, smoothing it back into place. He blushed at the action. 
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yea! Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise!” You laughed, it really wasn't he only really had three options on where to take you in Easttown. And you figured it wasn't going to be the Taco Bell or KFC. 
The ride to the restaurant didn't take too long and in no time you two had pulled up to the place. He parked and rushed out of the car to your side. He opened your door for you and you swooned at the old fashioned action. You looped your arm through his and he led you to the door, he whispered something to the hostess and she smiled widely and quickly led you two to a table. It was almost sectioned off from the other ones, it had an aura of privacy to it. She rushed over and placed a rose in the vase at the center of the table and lit up the candles. Colin pulled the chair out for you before sitting down on his own. 
He picked at the table cloth, not meeting your eyes. “‘So, did I pick a good place?’ He asked with a nervous smile.
“Mhmm, this is my favorite out of all of Easttown’s numerous restaurants.” You smiled at him coyly, he let out a little laugh. 
The rest of the night seemed to speed by, you and Colin just clicked, there wasn’t a moment that wasn't filled with conversation. Either about his work or about your own, him telling stories about his current cases or you telling him about the rude customers you had gotten that day. Then it shifted towards talking about your favorite tv shows or movies. He admitted that his job didn't leave him much time to watch tv and you vowed that one of your date nights had to be a tv or movie marathon. He blushed at the insulation that there was going to be a second date. 
You two had just finished off your meals when the hostess came by holding a piece of Tiramisu, you let yourself think about the irony of it. You guys had met at your coffee shop and here you were on your first date beings served a coffee flavored dessert. She set it down in front of you two. The plate was decorated with chocolate powder in the shape of a heart. You glanced down at the table and noticed Colin’s hand resting on the table, inching its way closer to yours. You closed the distance and placed your hand over his, squeezing it lightly. He smiled up at you and you returned it. He let you take the first bite of the desert, and he even let you have the last bite. He was a true gentleman through and through. 
The drive home was filled with constant loving stares back and forth, your hands resting intertwined on your thigh. When you guys got back to your place you didn't want to leave the car, it had been a while since you had a date like that. One filled with so much comfort and romance, one you never wanted to end. More often that you went on dates with sleazy men that picked you up two hours late and flirted with your hostess. Which resulted in you sneaking out the bathroom window and drinking your sorrows away at the bar. But you had a feeling you wouldn't be ditching any of your upcoming dates. 
Colin, being the gentleman he was, got out and went to open your door for you, much to his and your own dismay. You slid out of the seat and walked as slowly as possible to your front door. He held both your hands in his own. “This was fun.” He looked down at his shoes, not meeting your eyes, fearing you wouldn’t agree with him.
“It really was, we should do it again.” His head whipped up at your response, a smile taking hold of his features. 
“How does next Friday sound?”
“LIke it’s too far away.” He blushed at your words. “But I think I can wait till then if you continue to come by every morning.” 
“Well I couldn't very well start each day without the best cup of coffee in the world now could I?”
“Oh shut up.” You giggled, his heart fluttered at being able to make you laugh. What he wouldn't give to spend the rest of his life trying to make you laugh. A little warning light went off in him at that thought, was he seriously already thinking of spending his life with you. You guys had only met this week and it was only your first date. What if you thought he was moving too fast? What if you didn't want to even go out again? Wait, you had just said you wanted to go out again. He was spiraling, lost in his own thoughts. You saw his brow furrow and reached your hand out to smooth out his worry lines. 
“What’s bugging’ ya detective?” His eyes widened at hearing your sweet voice address him by detective. 
“Nothing, just lost in my thoughts.” His ears turned red at the realization he had just zoned out in front of you. You just giggled, moving your hand down to cup his face. He leaned into your soft touch and slowly moved his hands up to rest on your waist. He pulled you closer and you began to slowly move forward. Your lips connected, it was very soft and hesitant. You moved your other hand up to cup the back of his neck, running your fingers near the edges of his hair. The wind blew softly around you two, making your hair and his coat flutter. You pulled away and rested your foreheads together. You looked up at him through your lashes, reluctantly beginning to pull away. “Goodnight detective.” 
He pulled away as well, letting his hand linger in your own, holding on to your fingertips until he couldn't anymore. “Goodnight (y/n), I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
“I can’t wait.” You closed the door and he stayed outside your door until he heard the locks click shut. Once he knew you were safe he made his way back to the car, pumping his arms in the air, in joy. 
Unknown to him you were watching his little display of happiness from your window. You did your best to suppress a fit of giggles as you sat down at the little window seat, unfastening your heels and tossing them to the floor. You tucked your feet underneath yourself and watched him get back into his car, a smile never leaving his face, and never leaving yours. You gently touch your fingertips to your lips, the lingering taste of his lips on your own. You sighed at the memory,  he was going to be the death of you. 
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Serendipity - Part III. (Harry Styles)
a/n: hey guys!! thank you so much for those who read the last part and took the time to like/reblog/leave feedback! i want to stress how important it is that you guys do any of these things bc these are the only things that writers can use to see how their works are doing so PLEASE!! take that 30 sec to like/reblog and if you enjoyed, PLEASE leave a few words!! with this being said, here is part 3, hope you guys will enjoy it!
pairing: Harry x OC (Annalise Lloyd)
word count: 10k
warning: it gets a little steamy? not too much tho
SERIES MASTERPOST  ⚫️ my masterlist  ⚫️  come and talk to me about Serendipity!  
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Serendipity (n.) Finding something good without looking for it.
The kitchen was utter disaster before Harry has finally gotten around to clean up after cooking. Wiping all surfaces clean and washing every dish he used in the process he quickly sets his dining table for three people before diving into one of his wardrobes, mining after the board games he keeps around. There’s an impressive pile of them, all kinds and he really hopes they’ll be able to find something Benji likes. Checking the time he sees that he has only about twenty minutes left before his guests arrive, so he locks himself up in the bathroom. Washing away all the smells from the kitchen, he walks out with a clean towel wrapped around his waist, thinking about a suitable fit for the occasion.
Lis has texted him earlier to ask about the required dress code and he set it as casual/comfortable so now he has to dress according to that as well.
Pulling on a pair of light-washed jeans he pairs it with a simple white t-shirt and a grey cardigan. It’s a simple outfit, but he feels like it’s just perfect for the occasion. Checking the time once again he notes that he has only a few minutes left, when the doorbell rings. He steps to the intercom and sees through the security camera that it’s her.
“Hey, just park behind the Rover,” he instructs talking into the intercom and opening up the gate for her.
Quickly, he checks himself out one last time in the mirror next to the front door before opening it up, watching her car pull up behind his, the engine shutting before the door of the driver seat opens. Annalise appears in his sight with a warm smile, wearing jeans and a black, baggy jumper, her hair up in a loose ponytail.
“Hey!” she calls out before stepping to one of the back seats, opening up the door to help Benji out. Harry can’t push down the smile when he sees the little boy hop out of his seat holding a little blue envelope. He is wearing a white and blue checkered button-up with black jeans, looking like a little gentleman, Harry notes. He doesn’t seem shy or startled to be at a new place meeting someone he has only seen once before. Annalise takes his hand and the two of them walk up to Harry who is holding the door open for them.
“Hello!” Benji greets him with a sweet smile as they walk up the few stairs to the front door.
“Hi Benji. Nice to see you again,” Harry nods with a smile before looking up at Lis. “You too,” he adds.
“Thanks for having up,” she smiles, leading Benji inside as Harry closes the door. “Shoes,” she tells Benji, who takes off his sneakers without a fuss. Harry doesn’t have the heart to tell them they could have kept their shoes on, it doesn’t matter to him. Instead, he reaches into the small wardrobe in the hallway, fishing out slippers for them. Luckily, he has a few child ones as well, since some of his friends bring their kids around so he got a few just in case. Now it comes handy.
“Thank you,” Annalise smiles before instructing the little boy to put on his pair.
“This is for you,” Benji holds out the envelope for Harry, who looks down at it in surprise.
“Oh, thank you!” he answers, feeling startled and curious about what’s inside. He fidgets it open and pulls out the drawing that was hidden inside.
It’s a car, that he is sure about. A quite cool looking car if he is being honest. The coloring is a little off the lines and the portions are not quite right, but it’s a nice drawing, he thinks to himself. In the right corner of the page he sees the name BENJI spelt out, the letters looking a little wobbly and crooked, but it’s crystal clear.
“You drew this?” Harry questions raising his eyebrows at the little boy. Benji nods with a proud smile. “Wow, it’s amazing. Where should I put it?” he muses holding the drawing up as Benji looks around.
“Mommy always puts my drawings on the fridge,” he then answers and Harry nods.
“That’s a nice place. I think it’ll look good on my fridge. Come on, help me put it up.”
The boy follows him without a word, walking into the spacious kitchen, right to his fridge. He takes a magnet and hangs it in the middle as they all look at the new decoration
“Thank you, I think it looks great here,” Harry concludes and Benji nods in agreement.
“Benji, why don’t you wash your hand quickly before we eat?” Annalise tells him before looking at Harry. “Where’s a bathroom?”
“See that door on the left? That’s the one,” Harry explains to Benji and he nods again, running off to do his duty.
“He insisted bringing the drawing when I told him we’d be coming here today,” Annalise shares with Harry and he smiles at her, feeling touched.
“Very thoughtful.”
“Is there anything you need help with around here?” she asks, her eyes roaming around the kitchen and Harry is thankful he cleaned up after he was done with the cooking.
“No, everything is set and done. You just enjoy your time here,” he smirks and she smiles at him thankfully before Benji returns from the bathroom. “You like chicken strips, Benji?” he asks the boy upon his arrival. His eyes glisten at the mention of food, nodding eagerly as Annalise chuckles.
“That’s all he orders when we go to KFC,” she lets Harry in who grins down at Benji.
“Then this is your lucky day.”
Annalise helps Harry bring the food to the table and they all take their seats, Benji eyeing everything on the table with hungry eyes. They dig into it and Harry is relieved to see that his guests are enjoying the meal.
Harry was never afraid he wouldn’t get along well with the little boy, he is amazing around kids, easy to create a bond with them under any circumstances. It doesn’t take him long to get him to talk about school, his friends and what he likes doing in his freetime, making sure he pays enough attention to Lis as well. His home often feels empty during the days, he only has company over mostly in the evenings, but that doesn’t happen often either. So having them around brings a warm feeling to his chest as their chatter fills the room.
“So then we won and Eddy’s mum took us out to have pizza so it was great,” Benji finishes another story, his plate has emptied out not so long ago. As Harry peeks over at Lis, he sees how lovingly she is looking down at the little boy sitting across her. It’s clearer than daylight that Benji is her whole wide world and he has no problem being second after the boy. He thinks that’s just how it should be anyway and the thought that some men ever thought otherwise… it irks his buttons for sure.
“Benji, why don’t you go ahead and choose a game from the pile while we clean up the table?” Annalise tells him once everyone is done eating. He cheers in excitement and runs straight to the hoard of games waiting for him in the living room.
Harry and Lis clean the table and bring all the dirty dishes to the sink, she starts washing them without a word.
“You don’t have to,” Harry tells her, but she shakes her head.
“You cooked, I’m cleaning. Just put the leftover away,” she says smiling at him.
Harry packs away what was left from the lunch and then leans against the counter next to Lis. His eyes wander over her form, just the sight of her in the comfort of his home bubbles something deep inside him he’s been looking for for some time now. This warmth in his chest, the domesticity of such a simple thing of having her washing the dishes makes the house feel more of a home than ever.
“Do you cook often?” she asks, glancing at him shortly.
“Not as often as I probably should,” he admits. “I don’t find the time for it that often. When I’m home I tend to feel a little restless, like I should be doing something else, working on something, so I end up in my studio room down in the basement, recording something I won’t even use later.”
“Sounds like you overwork yourself.”
“Don’t have anything else to put my energy into just yet,” he shrugs his shoulders simply. “Well, at least that’s how it used to be,” he adds, a small smile playing on his lips as his eyes meet her gaze. A soft blush tints her cheeks before she turns back to the sink, finishing up the washing.
Annalise just chuckles when Benji chooses to play with UNO out of all the games Harry has to offer, but neither of them questions his choice. The three of them make themselves comfortable in the living room, Lis and Benji sit on the couch while Harry takes one of his armchairs while Benji mixes the cards. They seem to be a little too big for his hands, but he manages to finish the task just fine. They play round after round and Harry lets Benji win as much as possible, always pretending to be bummed that he lost the game. Only twice does Lis win, but Benji doesn’t mind that he has to share the victory with his mum, he has great manners, Harry notes once again.
Lis finds herself watching Harry with a fluttering heart. Every time he interacts with Benji something inside her chest feels to be growing. The way he treats the little boy, how he doesn’t seem to mind having him in the spotlight and the way he looks genuinely interested in anything Benji tells him about makes her completely forget about the doubts she was heaving before arriving. Even though she decided to be open to whatever fate has for her about Harry, she couldn’t just magically overcome all her fears from her previous experiences. She did think about canceling today, feeling reluctant if it would be a good idea or not, but now she couldn’t be happier with her choice.
Benji announces that he needs to use the toilet for something big, as he phrases, making Harry smile before he runs off to do his business.
“Sorry, he can be quite blunt sometimes,” Lis explains leaning back while Harry shuffles the cards once again.
“S’fine. He is great,” he grins, eyes meeting hers and the lock for a little longer than they intended, but they both find it hard to look away.
“Thanks for today. He is having a great time.”
“He is?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry he would let you know if he didn’t,” she chuckles making him laugh. “As I said, he can be pretty blunt.”
“I think it’s great. That he is not afraid to say what’s on his mind. I’m sure he doesn’t have trouble making friends.”
“He does not. He has this group of friends, it’s the five of them, all boys, they are like a little gang and I feel like Benji is some kind of leader. But not like a bossy one. They were all over at ours for his birthday and I was afraid he would act like a little king, but he always made sure to include everyone.” “That’s amazing. You taught him so well, Lis. Really, you should be very proud of yourself.” Not knowing how long Benji will take, he dares to take his seat next to Lis, he turns to face her, pulling a leg up, his knee brushing against the side of her thigh. The urge to just lean in and kiss her is growing, but he tells him he needs to keep himself at bay, not sure how far he is allowed to go.
She feels his hesitation, she sees the way he glances down at her lips longingly and she wants to give in. She almost does, because her attraction towards Harry grows with each passing moment, but just when she is about to give in, she hears Benji flush the toilet, kind of breaking the moment. Licking her lips she takes a deep breath to get her into the right mindset before Benji arrives back.
“Can we build a card castle?” Benji asks excited as he runs back into the living room, not even noticing that Harry has taken his spot on the couch. He kneels down next to the coffee table, taking the cards and starting anyway.
Harry pays one last lingering look to Lis before turning his attention back at the boy, lending him a helping hand in the building process.
It’s way past five by the time Annalise and Benji are getting ready to leave. Benji managed to convince them to watch a movie once he got bored with the cards, so they ended up in Harry’s movie room, which completely blew his mind away and they watched Zootopia.
Now Benji is rambling about his football game coming up next weekend and how he’ll score the most goals for sure.
“Will you come to see me, Harry?” he asks with bright eyes, the question catches him by surprise, but Lis as well. Harry glances up at her immediately, not sure what to say.
“Oh, Benji, Harry might have work that day—“
“I would love to,” he blurts out and it’s the truth. “I-If it’s fine by you as well,” he adds, still looking at her.
“Are you sure you’re not busy?”
“Lis, I wouldn’t say it if I was busy. I think I can make it work, but I’ll check back with you later this week, alright?”
“Yeah. Sure,” she nods, clearly surprised how quickly Benji grew a liking to him.
“Yay! See you later then, Harry!” Benji cheers, waving goodbye to Harry who feels touched by this little gesture. He runs down the stairs and jolts right towards the car, Lis following him behind.
Harry watches her help him into the car, shutting the door once he is all buckled up and instead of getting into the car as well, she walks back up to Harry who is still standing at the door. When she walks up the stairs she pushes him a little back into the house so they fall out of Benji’s sight, Harry is a little puzzled, but he quickly forgets about his racing thoughts once Annalise’s lips meet his in a sweet kiss.
Pushing his surprise aside he is quick to recover, arms circling around her waist while hers cup his cheeks gently. It’s not a long kiss, neither a passionate one, but it’s exactly what they both needed. Their lips move in sync and he hesitantly, but licks her bottom lip before their tongues meet in the middle.
“Lunch sometime this week?” she asks, quite out of breath, the smallest smile tugging on her plump lips.
“Yeah, I-I’ll text you?” he breathes out, lips still tingling from the kiss he has been dreaming about for quite a while now.
“Okay,” she chuckles, placing a soft peck to his lips before turning around and going back to her car.
Harry stands at the door, stunned and completely blown away as he watches them leave, Benji waves in his way one last time before they disappear, out the gate, out of his sight.
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“You are oddly quiet, but like, in a good way” Chloé states, eyes examining her best friend as they are sitting comfortably on a bench at the nearby park they often take Benji out. It has a nice and popular playground right in the middle and Benji loves playing with the kids from around the neighborhood here.
Annalise just smirks innocently, shrugging her shoulder, fingers digging into the apple slices in the box she packed as a snack.
“You also haven’t told me about a certain singer lately, but from the glow on your face, I assume things are going great?” she nudges her, happy to see Lis so happy and careless.
“I guess,” she shortly nods, still avoiding to look at her best friend.
“Elaborate. You know I’m too nosy not to know every little detail,” Chloé teases her, making her laugh.
“Oh, I know how nosy you are, don’t worry.”
“So? How is our favorite singer?”
“He is… fine. We’ve been getting close.”
“Which means…?”
“Which means that we’ve been meeting up constantly.”
“For fuck’s sake, Lis, would you just give me the whole thing? Why do I have to pull it out of you word by word?”
“What do you want to know?” Annalise chuckles at her impatient friend.
“How big?” she bluntly asks, making Lis gasp at the question.
“That I don’t know and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”
“How mean! I deserve to know it! Though I’m disappointed you haven’t jumped his bones yet.”
“What were you expecting? We’ve been seeing each other for a little over a month only. In mother time, that’s like… two days,” she jokes.
“Stop with this bullshit. You might be a mother, but you’re still a 25 year-old hot bitch.”
“Hearing you call me a mother and a bitch in the same sentence is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously on-point,” Chloé scoffs. “Alright, so tell me, what’s stopping you from sleeping with him? You know you can always bring Benji over for a sleepover so you can shag Mr. One Direction.”
“And now you are mentioning Benji and shagging in the same sentence, would you stop?” Annalise chuckles, stuffing another slice of apple into her mouth.
“I’m just trying to get you laid!”
“Well, I don’t need help, okay?” she retorts, but her fast response gets Chloé to think.
“Wait, you have something planned already, right?” Annalise doesn’t answer, her eyes dart over to Benji at the swings playing with two other little boys, but the blush on her cheeks gives her away. “Oh shit! You have something planned! Tell me!”
“Why would I tell you when you’ll just make fun of me?” she sighs, finally turning to face her.
“I would never make fun of you shagging the hottest singer in Britain. No, in the whole world, probably.”
Huffing to herself, Lis looks around, making sure no one hears what they are talking about, before turning back to Chloé.
“Benji has a sleepover birthday party next weekend. I thought I would… ask Harry if he wants to come over. I’d cook something, get some wine… you know. A kind of cozy date night.”
“That’s literally the sweetest shit ever,” Chloé sighs. “Now I feel horribly single.”
“Stop it!” Lis chuckles. “You have at least five men waiting for your call.”
“Yeah, whatever. So, does this late night involve the dirty deed?”
“I mean, I wouldn’t mind,” she admits shyly. It’s been so long since she was intimate with anyone, she sometimes feels like a silly teenage girl, especially when it comes to Harry. He makes her feel things she thought she would never experience.
“Go girl! Get that D!” Chloé cheers, making Lis gasp at her bluntness once again.
“Chlo! There are kids around!”
“If a kid knows what the D means, their childhood is already ruined, so don’t come for me.”
“Chloé! Come see what I can do!” Benji emerges from the group of kids, dragging Chloé with himself, leaving Annalise alone on the bench.
Now that she said her plans with Harry out loud, she can’t help but feel nervous. What if it’s too soon? Or what if Harry is not even free that evening? Scared that her dream date might go down the drain, she grabs her phone from her bag and dials his number.
“Hey!” he greets her cheerfully, always so happy to hear from her.
“Hi, am I bothering you?”
“No, I’m just in the car. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to ask if… you had any plans next Saturday.”
“I have a studio session until six, but I’m free after that. What do you have in mind?” Harry asks, a little surprised she asked him out, but it’s clearly making his chest warm up, knowing that she is thinking about him too.
“Benji was invited to a birthday party and it’s a sleepover… So I’ll have the house for myself. I thought I could cook something, we could have some wine, you know.” She nervously scratches the bench next to her thigh, nervous to hear his reaction to the idea.
“Oh, that sounds perfect! But if you’re cooking, let me take care of the wine. What kind do you like?”
“Um, I’m not an expert. Bring whatever you like, I’m sure I’ll be fine with that too.”
“Okay, but I won’t be the one to drink it,” he chuckles.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t drink and drive, Love.”
“Why—“ she cuts herself off realizing what Harry meant. He didn’t think it would involve him staying the night, so now she has to bring that up as well. Just great. “Harry, you wouldn’t have to drive,” she says, hoping her tone gives away the real meaning behind her words.
“Oh,” Harry breathes out, clearly surprised. “Are you sure?”
“I am. So, bring whatever you like.”
“Alright. Great,” he says and she just knows he is grinning ear to ear. “Saturday it is then. Does lunch on Wednesday still stand?”
“Of course,” you chuckle. “See you later then.”
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Annalise’s hand slides down her sides, smoothing the fabric softly on her frame, her eyes cautiously examining the outfit. She’s changed about three times now, feeling so nervous that she finds something in everything he puts on. She knows she is running out of time, but she still can’t put her critiques aside. She wants to look perfect for Harry.
At last, she forces herself to stay in the white satin dress that hugs her curves just perfectly. She doesn’t like it that her arms are on display, but since the oven has been on for hours now, the whole place feels so hot and she doesn’t want to sweat out of her clothes for sure. She quickly brushes her hair and fixes some smudged mascara off from under her eyes before shuffling into the kitchen to check the chicken in the oven. It’s coming together perfectly, the top is already starting to look nice and crisp, she’ll just give it a few more minutes before turning the heat off.
She puts on some soft music quietly to fill the silence, and quickly fixes the pillows on the couch just when the doorbell rings, making her jump a little. Taking a deep breath she rushes over and swings it open, revealing Harry standing on the doormat, wearing black and white checkered pants with a black button down shirt, the first few buttons left undone to give her a teasing look of his tattooed chest. He is holding two bottles of champagnes in his left hand as he smirks down at her.
“Hey, come in!” she breathes out in excitement.
“Hi,” he smiles and as he steps inside, he leans down, kissing her lips softly. “You look beautiful,” he compliments her, making her blush in a heartbeat.
“Thank you. You look nice too.” He nods smiling as she locks the door and turns to her holding the bottles up.
“Couldn’t really decide, so I brought a white and a red one.”
Her eyes fall on the bottles and though she is not an expert, she can tell those wines cannot be bought in a Tesco, they must cost a fortune.
“Harry you shouldn’t have—“ “None of that,” he cuts her off. “Just want you to have a nice evening, okay?”
Breathing out, her features softens as she steps closer and places a soft peck to his lips.
“Food is almost done. Would you mind helping me set the table?”
“Sure, lead the way.”
While Annalise takes the chicken out and finishes up the last touches, Harry sets the table carefully and opens one of the wines, filling two glasses. He helps her carry the food to the dining table and can’t help but notice how nervous she seems.
“Hey,” he softly says putting a hand to her knee gently as they sit at the table. “Stop worrying, okay? No pressure.” “I’m sorry, it’s just… been so long that I’ve been in this position,” she breathes out nervously.
“I just want you to have a good time, alright? I’m happy with just being around you, honestly.” “I hate how understanding you always are,” she chuckles and he raises his eyebrows at him.
“What do you mean?” he asks in amusement.
“It’s just… this voice in the back of my mind keeps telling me to keep my guards up, but you literally give me no reason to do that, being such a gentleman and all. So I’m having this… nonsense conflict with myself,” she admits chuckling. “Sorry, it doesn’t make sense.”
“No, I get it. Totally. I’m sorry that you feel that way and… I just want you to know that we have time. Whenever you finally let go of your doubts, I’ll be happy about it, but I’ll stay here in the meanwhile as well.”
For a moment, she feels like she is about to start crying. No one has ever made her feel this safe, especially not a man she was dating, but Harry managed to bring her this sense of comfort from the very first moment. Even when she was planning to never see him again, her heart was aching to leave such a wonderful man.
“Thank you,” she breathes out and leaning closer, she kisses him. It’s a longer one, but not too hard, more of a lingering touch of their lips. Harry’s hand reaches up to cup her face and as his thumb runs along her cheekbone a shiver runs down her spine.
Pulling back she takes a deep breath to settle herself in reality.
“Alright. Um… let’s eat, I’m starving.”
As the wine diminishes gradually, the more loose they both become, keeping up the conversation without any breaks. Nothing is off-topic, they can talk about anything and everything. Harry insists taking up on the washing duty, so while he is elbows deep in the sink, Lis stands next to her with a kitchen towel to dry the dishes. They both feel a little giddy, but thanks to the food, neither of them drunk just yet. It’s the perfect amount of tipsy, her cheeks are flushed and his fingertips are buzzing. The fear she felt earlier about where the night would head has slowly turned into pure desire. She wants this, she wants him, more than she has wanted anyone in her life.
“Thank you for the amazing food,” he murmurs once everything is spotless and clean. His hands find her waist, pulling her against his chest, her fingertips dance across his chest until they find the soft curls at the back of his neck.
“Mm, thanks for the amazing wine,” she comments cheekily, making him chuckle before he dips his head down and captures her lips in a sweet kiss.
It starts innocently, so light and delicate, but soon enough they both grow hungrier, needing more and more. His fingers dig into the small of her back, wrinkling the soft fabric of her dress as he turns them until she is trapped between him and the counter behind her. She buries her fingers into his hair, grabbing a handful in each hand, making him moan from the gentle tugging. He is quick to hoist her up, making her sit on the countertop and her knees part on their own, letting him stand close to her.
His lips travel down to her jawline, down her neck and delicate collarbone, leaving lustful kisses everywhere he can, making her get wetter with each touch he leaves on her soft skin.
“Harry,” she breathes out when his ring clad fingers dig into her thighs, pulling her forward so her center meets his hips and it’s clear just how excited he is about the situation.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he breathes out against her neck before his lips return to hers, kissing her harder than ever.
“Don’t fucking stop. Just… take this to the bedroom, yea?” she pants and he nods, pushing himself away a little so she can hop off the counter.
She leads the way up to the bedroom and though Harry would love to look around in this very intimate space of hers, he is a little too occupied at the moment. Before she could reach the bed he grabs the end of her dress and pulls it off swiftly, leaving her in her matching bra and thong, something she bought especially for this occasion.
“Lis, fuck,” he whines, so whipped by how amazing she looks.
“Let’s get rid of this as well,” she whispers, biting into her bottom lip as her fingers work fast on his buttons, the shirt soon joining her dress somewhere on the floor. She can’t stop herself from running her palms up and down his chest, feeling the heat of his body under her skin, making her lose her breath.
He grabs a hold of her thighs easily, earning a small squeak from her as he walks the rest of the way to the bed and throws her to it, getting on top of her without hesitation. His lips are quick to meet the soft skin on her neck once again, nipping it gently, making her back arch from sensation. The kisses wander down her collarbone, the swell of her breasts and he just can’t get enough of her. He is taking his time with the exposed skin, a hand sliding between her back and the mattress, working on the clasp.
“Is this okay?” he pants the question and she nods immediately. The clasp comes undone and she wiggles her shoulders until the straps slide down her arms. He is the one to grab the bra and throw it away. “Fuck, you are so beautiful,” he breathes out at the sight of her exposed chest, making her tremble from his words. She has never been so praised and appreciated before, Harry makes her feel like she really is the only woman to exist.
A hand comes up to cup her left breast while kissing her right one until his lips wrap around her pebbled nipple, sucking on it gently.
“Fuck! Yes!” she moans, her fingers lacing through his hair. She is completely lost in him, all she sees, hears and feels is Harry and at that moment she is convinced that it’s what has to happen. She wouldn’t be anywhere else with anyone else than him right now.
Grabbing onto his shoulders, she pulls him up so their lips meet again in a hungry, demanding kiss as her hands slide down to his pants, eager to get it undone as fast as possible. Once it’s done, he is quick to push them down his long legs, leaving him in only his boxer briefs, a moan escaping his pink, swollen lips when his erection meets her heated core once he is right above her.
That’s it. That’s the moment from where there’s no turning back, not that any of them want to, they are both so desperate to get closer, they wouldn’t want it to end for anything.
Her hands move down his chest until her fingers reach the elastic band of his underwear. She hooks her pointing fingers into it on both sides and just as she is about to pull them down, her phone starts ringing.
“Fuck,” she pulls away, her chest heaving wildly and he is just as big of a mess as she is. Reaching for the device on the nightstand, her eyes go wide seeing the caller. “Fuck, oh my God, I need to take this. It’s Sylvia, she is the mom where Benji is sleeping over,” she jabbers, grabbing the covers to pull over her chest out of instinct.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Harry nods, trying his best to catch his breath.
“Sylvia! Hi! Everything alright?” she starts answering the call.
“Hey, sorry to call you so late, but Benji is not feeling too good.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“He says his tummy hurts, tried to give him some tea, but I didn’t know what kind of medicine you use, so I didn’t give him anything. He says he wants to go home.”
“Oh, shit. Okay, uh, I can’t drive, I’ve had some wine already,” she breathes out in frustration, feeling her panic taking over.
“Oh, it’s alright, Pete can take him home if it’s alright by you.”
“Yes, thank you so much! Thank you for calling!”
“It’s alright. I’ll get him ready and I think they’ll be home in about fifteen.”
“Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience,” she apologizes.
“Don’t worry about it. I hope he’ll feel better!”
The call ends, leaving Lis in a frantic state and Harry knows something is wrong.
“What happened?” he asks sitting up on the bed.
“I, uhh—Benji, he is not feeling well so the birthday kid’s dad is bringing him home,” she answers, already getting out of the bed, grabbing a sweatshirt and shorts from a pile of clothes near her wardrobe. “Shit,” she curses when she struggles to put on the sweatshirt, her arm getting stuck in it.
“Hey, slow down, it’s all fine. Go get whatever medicine he needs, can I help with anything?” Harry stands up, grabbing his clothes from the floor and he gets dressed as well.
“Um, there is a blue blanket he likes to sleep with when he is sick. Can you find that for me? It’s in there somewhere,” she gestures towards her wardrobe and Harry nods, starting his search right away. “Harry I’m so sorry, this—“
“Don’t worry about it. Just do what you need to do,” he shushes her and she sends him a thankful look before running out to get everything ready by the time Benji arrives.
Annalise is already outside when the car arrives, greeting Pete with soft thank you’s as she helps Benji out of the car. He looks tired and a frown tugs on his sweet features now, he clearly doesn’t feel well.
“Oh baby, come on,” she coos at him softly. “Thank you Pete!”
“No problem. Get well, Champ!” the man waves before them off before getting in the car and driving away.
“What hurts, Sweety?” she asks Benji as they walk inside.
“My tummy!” he whispers frowning.
“Alright, I’ll get you some medicine and then you can sleep, alright?”
“Harry?” he asks, looking a little surprised, finding the man standing in the kitchen, the blue blanket in his hands.
“Hi Benji. Not feeling good?” he asks softly, looking down at the little boy with nothing but patience and sympathy. Benji shakes his head pouting.
“Here,” Harry softly says and hands the boy the blanket, who mumbles a soft thank you.
“Mummy, can I sleep with you?” he pleads looking up at Lis.
“Yeah, of course, come on. Let’s get you settled.” She gives him his medication, gets him changed and makes him comfortable in her bed, tucked in his blue blanket.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” she whispers softly, kissing his forehead. He nods into the pillow, already drifting off to sleep. Walking out she closes the door quietly, heading back down where Harry is sitting at the kitchen island. He hears her footsteps and he stands up from the stool, feeling a little lost after everything that just happened.
“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t expecting it,” she apologizes right away, but he shakes his head.
“Don’t worry. How is he?”
“We’ll see in the morning. Maybe he just ate something that upset his stomach.”
“That’s good,” he nods, brushing his palms down his thighs. “I’ll, um, call a taxi and leave—“
“Don’t!” she finds herself replying right away, surprising the both of them. “I-I… I don’t want you to leave, I just…”
“I could… stay on the couch,” he offers, eyes softening on her. “If it’s alright for me to still spend the night.”
“Of course. I want you here. I’m sorry our night got ruined.”
“Don’t even say that.” He takes her hands and pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her hunched frame.
“I just… I’m sorry, this is… This is my life, and—“
“I know,” he cuts her off. “And honestly, I’m fine with it, okay? Don’t worry about me. Benji needed you, we’ll have another time to ourselves, alright? I loved tonight nevertheless, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.”
She nods quietly, his lips meet her forehead before she tilts her head back and kisses him.
“It’s a pullout. I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket,” she tells him. While she gathers the necessities, he moves the small coffee table aside and pulls the couch out. Annalise brings him everything he needs and makes sure he is at least comfortable now that he was forced to spend the night in the living room.
“Thank you for being so understanding,” she whispers, kissing him one last time.
“Always,” he murmurs, his nose nudging against hers playfully. “Good night.”
“Good night, Harry.”
With one last peck she leaves. Benji is all curled up in her bed and as she lies beside him, her thoughts relentlessly go out to the man sleeping on the couch right now. Even with the unpleasant turn of events, tonight has been everything she could dream of. If only they had more time alone…
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Benji is still asleep, spread out on the bed when Annalise wakes up. Rubbing her eyes she sees that it’s only barely past eight, so Benji will be asleep a little longer for sure. She carefully gets out of the bed and ties her hair up, trying her best to tame her messy locks. When she walks out of the room she hears glasses clinking downstairs and arriving to the kitchen she is surprised to see Harry there, deep in focus as he is trying to figure out how to make the coffee machine work.
“Morning!” she smiles walking inside. He turns in the direction of her voice, a smile playing on his pink lips. He is wearing the same clothes as last night, but his hair is now messy, eyes a little puffy from his sleep.
“Hey! Sorry for barging into the kitchen alone, just wanted to make some coffee.”
“It’s alright,” she smiles back and stepping closer she steals a quick kiss. “Let me help.”
The two of them move around each other, Harry finishes up the coffees after Lis has showed him how to make the machine work, and in the meanwhile she makes some toasties quickly. Then they sit at the kitchen island, eating silently and appreciating this moment they have to themselves in the morning.
“Lis, I wanted to talk about something.”
“Yeah?” she turns to him, sipping on her coffee.
“I’m… flying to LA in two days.”
She stops chewing as his words sink in. All this time she almost completely forgot that Harry’s life is not always based in London. They were just lucky enough to have some time to themselves with him staying in the same place for a longer time.
“Oh. Okay.”
“It’s gonna be two weeks. I have some important meetings and stuff to take care of.”
“Sure, understandable.”
He puts his mug down and turns to her fully. She does the same, their eyes meeting and they both seem anxious and fragile in the moment. Reaching out he takes her hands between his warm palms, giving them a gentle squeeze.
“I want you to know that while I’ll be away, I will… I won’t be…” He doesn’t seem to find the right words and she finds it cute, a smile tugging on her lips. “Fuck, what I’m trying to say is that I think of us as… that we are exclusive. This is what I’m trying to say, that I won’t be… looking for someone else?”
“You are so cute when you are nervous,” she chuckles.
“Sorry, it always feels so weird to talk about this kind of stuff,” he admits breathing out shakily. “But anyway, this was my way of saying that I see us as a… couple.”
“That’s cool, because I see us the same way,” she smiles. “And I’m glad you won’t be looking for someone else in LA,” she adds chuckling, making him laugh as well.
“I’m sorry I need to leave though,” he breathes out, his hands finding her knees. His fingers start drawing little circles to her exposed skin.
“It’s fine, I understand,” she smiles gently. It’s not that she likes the idea of him being so far away, but just like she has her own baggage, he comes with his own as well and she is more than ready to accept him just as he is.
Leaning in he kisses her lips softly and just as he is about to drag it out a little, footsteps are heard from the stairs and he leans back just in time before Benji appears.
“Hey baby. Feeling better?”
“Yes. I’m hungry!” he states, climbing to the third stool at the kitchen island. “Hi Harry,” he nods in his way, not even caring about why he is here in the morning.
“Mornin’ Benji,” he smirks at the boy as Lis goes to make some more toasties for him.
Following breakfast Benji is off to clean up his room a little, so Harry and Lis have some alone time. Annalise walks Harry out to his car and they stop before he would get inside, turning to Lis for a kiss.
“Stay safe, okay? Need you back in one piece,” she tells him, feeling shy, but warm at the same time from being able to say that to him.
“Oh you do?” he smirks down at her teasingly, kissing her softly as his hands find her waist, pulling her close to him.
“I do,” she smiles. “So, see you in two weeks?”
“Yeah. I’ll call you though. Thanks for the breakfast.”
He presses one last kiss to her lips, forcing himself not to drag it any longer because if he did, he knows he won’t be able to leave anytime soon. She steps away from the car as he gets in, smiling at each other through the window before he starts the car. She watches him drive away with a heavy heart, thinking about how hard it will be to not see him for two weeks. But there’s nothing she can do about it.
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Harry has always felt like he had different lives in different cities. He is like another man in London, in New York and in LA, the three cities where he mostly spends his time. It’s not exactly a change in him whenever he is in another place, more like the people that surround him and he hasn’t had any hustle switching whenever he was traveling.
However, for the first time in years, he finds himself being an outsider in LA, his heart lusting to go back to London, to Annalise.
One meeting follows the other, he has a few fittings and an interview as well, joined with a photoshoot. He finds himself rather lucky to be so busy, otherwise he would surely feel the homesick kicking in harder than ever. He hasn’t had any problem with it since he was nineteen, he has gotten used to living all over the place. It took him quite some time to accept that he has to be away with his mum and sister, but now he has to go over the same thing with Annalise, knowing that she won’t be able to travel with him, but still, he is planning on the long run with her, so he has no other choice than get used to it.
The bar is packed, after all it’s a Friday night. That’s exactly why Harry didn’t want to come out, but he was kind of forced. Sitting in the corner of the booth he is trying to let loose and enjoy his time with his friends, nursing a beer that’s been sitting on the table in front of him for a while now.
When Jeff returns from the call he had to make quickly outside, he eyes Harry suspiciously. It’s not like him to be so closed off and distant, he is usually the first one to ask for a round of shots, but not tonight.
“Everything alright, mate?” he asks grabbing Harry’s attention.
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” “So why the long face then?”
“Just… not in the mood, I guess,” he shrugs it off, but he can’t fool someone who has known him as long as Jeff.
“Okay, does this have anything to do with the songs you’ve been writing?”
“Who told you?” he smirks in disbelief as Jeff takes a sip from his beer.
“Mitch might be quiet, but he surely likes to gossip,” he chuckles lightly. “So, who is the girl?”
“Met her on New Year’s Eve. Thought I would never see her again, but then we ran into each other and… I haven’t stopped thinking about her since then,” he truthfully admits. “She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Jeff. So not like anyone else I’ve ever known.”
“Woah, she really got you.”
“Yeah,” he nods chuckling. “I’m just so afraid of messing it up.”
“Why would you? It sounds like it’s heading in the right direction.”
“She… She has a kid so it’s a little complicated. I just really don’t want to mess anything up, because it would be twice as bad. I would hate to know I disappointed Benji.”
“Wait, so you met the kid too?”
“I did, he is a fun little guy,” he chuckles thinking back at the time he has spent with Benji. From the time they played UNO at his house, through the football game Harry went to just as he promised, all the way to when he took Benji and Lis to their favorite pizza place one afternoon when Lis told Harry through the phone that he’s had a shitty day. Harry didn’t hesitate to end his meeting a little early just so he could pick them up and take them to their favorite place for a slice. He will never forget the shine in both Benji’s and Annalise’s eyes that day. Right then he knew he would do anything for the both of them without a second thought. The fact that he was falling for Lis faster and deeper than ever kind of scares him, but he is ready to give the feeling everything he has.
“Man, you are whipped!” Jeff chuckles leaning back in his seat. “Should I be planning your hiatus?” he asks half-jokingly, though they both know if Harry were to decide to take some time off, Jeff would support him no matter what’s the reason behind it.
“No, not yet. We are still just trying to make it work,” Harry smiles at him, just the thought of being an official couple with Lis makes his heart beat ten times faster.
“Look, just make sure you communicate. You know you sometimes suck in that, but I think that’s what she needs the most.” “Yeah, I know.”
“She is responsible for a kid too, she needs to know exactly what you think, she probably doesn’t have any time or energy to play games.”
“I don’t want to play games with her.”
“Great. Then use your head, think and then talk. It can’t turn out too bad if you follow these easy steps.”
Harry nods, taking a mental note, hoping he won’t forget about the advice when he needs it the most.
The conversation around them carries on and Jeff soon abandons their discussion, leaving Harry with his own thoughts. He has been thinking about Annalise continuously ever since he left her house that morning and his time apart from her just made him realize how deeply he feels for her truly. Every second, every minute, he just wants to know what she’s doing and if she’s alright. Their little FaceTime calls have been his favorite parts of his days and in all honesty, he can’t wait to get back to London and hold her in his arms.
Excusing himself from his group of friends, he walks out of the bar to the street, finding himself a secluded spot on the corner. He does some quick math in his head coming to the conclusion that she is probably already up, getting ready for work, so he decides to just call her without texting first. Luckily, Annalise has been up for a while when the call arrives, a wide smile tugging on her lips as she answers it right away.
“Hey!” she greets him, her voice alone warms his chest.
“Hi, I didn’t wake you, right?”
“No, I just finished my morning coffee. Where are you?”
“Just out with a few friends.”
“So then why are you calling me?” she chuckles softly.
“Because… I missed your voice, so I called you,” he admits a little shyly, a blush warming his cheeks that she can’t see now, unfortunately. “I miss you.”
“Miss you too, Harry. But you’ll be back soon, right?”
“Yes. I can’t wait to see you again and kiss you again.”
“Why are you being so cheesy all of a sudden?” she laughs, but secretly, she loves knowing he feels the same way as she does.
“Sometimes I’m cheesy. You don’t like it?” he smirks, hearing her laugh through the line.
“I like it, don’t worry.”
“How was your day yesterday?” he asks and then he just listens to her talking.
With a crowded bar behind him, a group of people waiting for his return, he still stays outside listening to Annalise tell him about the smallest things that happened to her lately. And he loves every second of it. If only she didn’t have to leave to work, he would willingly and happily stay there and talk to her for hours.
“Alright, I need to help Benji get ready. Talk to you later?”
“Yeah, tell Benji I said hi.”
“Will do. Take care!”
“You too. Bye.”
As the call ends, he stays put for a little longer, opening up his camera roll, scrolling down a little until he finds the photo he took of Lis at one of their lunch dates. She is laughing wholeheartedly, wearing her scrubs and an oversized zip-up hoodie, cheeks slightly blushed from something he said. He hasn’t been the kind to set up personal photos as his lockscreen, but looking at this picture the urge is stronger than ever, though he knows he can’t. Fans are always so eagle-eyed when it comes to paparazzi photos, he doesn’t want them to start speculating if they accidentally get a glimpse of his screen. Instead, he opens up his text thread with Lis and types her a quick message.
Harry: Miss you. Have a great day Xx.
Just a few moments later comes her reply.
Lis: Miss you too, can’t wait to see you again :)
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Lis: Harry, forgot I had a parents’ meeting in Benji’s school tomorrow. Can’t make it to the airport :(
Harry: Don’t worry about it. When will you be off?
Lis: God knows… these stuff last forever ugh
Harry: Just text me whenever it ended and I can come over or something
Lis: Will do and I’m so sorry!
Harry: It’s all good :)
 Harry can’t help but sigh as he rereads the texts he exchanged just before his plane took off. He was really looking forward to meet Lis as soon as she got off work, but her parental duties come first as always and though he knows she can’t do anything about it, the situation still upsets him. He had a dinner reservation for the two of them since she said Benji would stay over at Chloé’s for the night, giving the whole evening and night to them, but it all just went down the drain when her text found him while he was packing to leave.
When the plane touches down and Harry makes his way through the terminal, he still finds himself looking around, hoping to see Annalise’s bright eyes, though he sees nothing but strangers around him.
Arriving home he breezes through the packing quite fast since he has been doing it a lot in the past decade. He makes a quick trip to the nearby Tesco to fill up his fridge and he buys some snacks in hopes Lis will call soon and he can be over so they can watch a movie and hopefully stay unbothered for the rest of the night.
Around seven, he shoots her a quick what’s up? text that stays unanswered, but also unread. He figures she is still stuck at the meeting so he tries to make himself busy with sorting out some emails he has been delaying to answer to in the past two days. Hour passes after hour and Harry’s hope to see Lis slowly starts to vanish. When the clock strikes nine he figures she won’t be calling anytime soon since it’s a weekday and he knows she doesn’t like staying up late when she has work the next day.
He is just about to give up on the waiting and take a shower, get ready to bed when his phone finally chimes. He basically throws himself at it, opening it faster than light.
Lis: let me in? :)
He stares down at the screen a tad bit longer, his breath caught in his throat as he realizes that he should do something. Dropping the phone to the couch he rushes to the front door, seeing her standing at the gate through the security cameras, so he quickly opens it for her, throwing the door open.
Lis walks up to the house with rushed steps, both of them smiling widely and Harry still can’t believe she just showed up.
“What happened to texting me when you’re done?” he asks in disbelief.
“Thought I would surprise you,” she giggles just as they meet halfway and Harry doesn’t hesitate to envelope her in his arms, lips pressing to hers so hard she bends backwards, right into his hands that press into her waist.
“I’m proper surprised, baby,” he smirks against her lips, making her chuckle.
“Yeah? Do you want to be even more surprised?” Harry’s eyebrows rise.
“Always.”
“I’m wearing a corset and tights under this,” she whispers in excitement and his eyes light up like it’s Christmas day.
Without a word he picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder to bring her inside, she laughs loudly, feeling like a rag doll, but she doesn’t mind it a bit. Not tonight.
When the front door closes behind them and her feet meet the floor again, he stares down at her with pure lust and hunger in his eyes. She is wearing a little black dress with a thin trench coat on top, paired with nude heels, her hair is pinned up with a hairclip and she is wearing only a thin layer of makeup, barely anything. Harry looks down at her and thinks to himself: he will never find another woman like her. Not that he wants to.
“Before we do anything, let me set an alarm, because I won’t be thinking about it once I get started with you. When do you need to leave in the morning to pick Benji up before work?” he asks, quickly shuffling into the living room to grab his phone from the coffee table.
“We don’t need an alarm,” she softly says, making him arch his eyebrows. “Benji is staying at Chloé’s and she is taking him to school as well and I have the day off tomorrow.”
“Really?” he asks, stunned that they have a whole day to themselves.
“Yeah. I just need to pick Benji up from school in the afternoon.”
“What months is this?” he then suddenly asks, earning a puzzled look from Annalise.
“Um, what?”
“Just asking because I’m pretty sure it must be the 1st of February and my fucking birthday to have you all to myself for this long,” he states and she can’t help but laugh at him. Walking over to him, she grabs the phone from his hands and tosses it to the couch beside them before curling her arms around his neck, pressing her body up against his hard chest.
“Consider this a late birthday gift, if you’d like. We weren’t too close back then, so I wasn’t able to give you anything.”
“You mean you were trying to keep yourself away from me back then, right?” he teases her, but she just rolls her eyes at his comment.
“You want me to keep myself away from you now, Styles?” she cheekily challenges and he shakes his head immediately, hands latching onto her waist to keep her close in case she wants to move away.
“Not at all. In fact, let’s just get rid of this quickly,” he mumbles, hands working fast to slip the coat off her shoulders and then he simply grabs the hem of her dress and pulls it up with a swift movement, leaving her in said corset with a matching set of lingerie. His lips part and he almost gasp at how amazing she looks, even though she feels a little shy in this revealing outfit.
“Thank God for whoever invented corsets,” he mumbles under his breath, eyes glued to her body as she chuckles lightly.
“You gotta help me get out of it though, it needs more than two hands,” she admits stepping closer to kiss his lips shortly.
“Wait, then who helped you put it on?” he asks, feeling his possessive side kick in immediately.
“It was just Chloé. She also didn’t hold back the teasing about me finally getting railed tonight,” she adds with an awkward chuckle. She is not used to talking about sex this openly, especially since she hasn’t done it in ages. Following their failed attempt last time, she’s been stressing even more about her first time with Harry. He has been nothing but the best to her in every sense, she just wants to show him how much it means to her, make him feel good and treat him like he deserves to be treated.  
The way she just openly said that she is about to get railed by him does some unholy things to him, though he can’t not notice the hint of anxiousness in her eyes. Cupping her cheeks in his hands he lifts her head up so she is forced to look into his eyes.
“You alright? Are you sure about this?” he asks softly, wanting nothing else than to make her feel safe around him.
“I am. It’s just been a while since I was with someone. I don’t want to… disappoint you.” Her voice dies into a whisper and she licks her dry lips, her nerves taking over her. Harry smiles down at her softly.
“You can never disappoint. Just be honest and open with me, yeah? I want you to enjoy it as much as I will. Tell me what you like and want and I’ll do all that. I’ll do the same, deal?”
A sense of relief washes over her, knowing that she has found the man she’s been looking for so long and he is right there in front of her, ready to please her. Nodding her head shortly she takes a deep breath.
“Harry?” she whispers.
“Yeah?”
“I want… you to take me up to your bedroom,” she tells him and he doesn’t need more. His hands move down to the back of her thigh as he urges her to jump. Her legs wrap around his waist as her lips crash down against his in a passionate, meaningful kiss while he walks up to his bedroom, shutting the world out and giving all of him to the woman he is falling hard for.
NEXT PART (coming on 6th of february)
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TAGLIST
let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!
@stylesfics-xx​ @dontworrysunflower​ @mariamuses​ @bookwormandtea​ @swtxel​ @ericadrumgoole1​
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poetrusicperry · 3 years
Text
Running Towards Nothing
Chapter One
a/n: hello !! @noelliza and i fleshed out an idea about if todd came from out of state (specifically, somewhere in the southern united states) to attend welton, so i wrote it heh. i’m not sure how many parts this will be (if people like it enough for me to continue posting lol), but i have the first like... five written haha. so yes, todd is from the south (alabama) and i don’t know much about the south bc i'm from the west coast, but i tried haha. hope you guys like it !! xx
chapter summary: something in todd’s past is the reason for his family’s move, leading to a new neighborhood, a new school, a roommate he was never expecting, and an overall shift in his life.
pairing: todd anderson x neil perry
warnings: none (i don’t think there are any in this chapter, but if anyone spots something, let me know !)
word count: 2479
        If there was one thing Todd missed about home, it was the sky; the sun set differently over the rolling hills of Vermont than the grassy fields of Alabama. He was used to seeing all of the elongated, blue canvas sky that melted into bright shades of pink and orange along the horizon; there was nothing in the way of the creation, just a plain view of where the heavens met the earth. In the northeast, however, the sunset snagged on the seemingly-black pointed edges of trees and lush branches, interrupting the gradient leaving only soft blue and speckles of marigold.
        But he had experienced his last Alabama sunset two days ago, and there was no going back. Not for a really, really long time (if ever). After the events of the past few months, there was no way Todd could ever show his face again, even if he really wanted to. Now, Todd Anderson and his family were living in the suburbs of Vermont, where, as his parents hoped, the past would stay hidden and they could build a new façade for the one Todd had recently, though unintentionally, demolished.
        As Todd sat on the floor of his new, empty room, surrounded only by boxes and his bed (which didn’t have a box spring or frame yet), he gazed out of his window forlornly. Through the toothbrush-tipped trees that were jam packed along his new horizon, he could make out the silhouette of a church’s steeple. One that, no doubt, would be frequented by his mother and father while his brother, Jeffrey, was out of state at college, and Todd himself attended the prep school just a few blocks down the road. Out of all the cities in Vermont, Todd’s parents had picked the one with the lowest population and tourist pull, which meant not a lot of people inhabiting the city. However, on the flipside, there wasn’t a wide variety of schools to choose from. Back in Alabama, Todd had attended his local public high school, Nixon, and would have been an incoming senior there if certain... events hadn’t occurred. Instead, Todd was now forced to continue his education at what was deemed “the best all boys prep school in the United States” by his parents and surrounding boarding schools (no pressure).
        Todd’s mind wandered through the recent weeks, pulling apart everything that had happened like rotten cotton candy. This was his life now: a new state, a new town, a new school, brand new everything. And yet, Todd felt stuck between wanting to start over and aching to hold onto his old life. If those five seconds could have gone differently, he’d be preparing for his first day of senior year with all his friends at Nixon. But his friends would never speak to him again, and he’d never walk the halls of Nixon High School ever again. Todd wondered what he could possibly be holding onto? There was nothing in a place he considered home and nothing in a new place that would likely never be home. So much of his past, he wanted to leave behind, but he just… knew that he couldn’t.
        As he reached into the open box beside him, there was a knock on the door. When Todd didn’t answer, the door cracked open, revealing the familiar face of his older brother.
        “Hey, I was going to go on a drive around town, maybe see some of the cool hangout spots if you wanted to come. I know I’m leaving for school in a couple weeks, but might as well check out some places anyway?”
        Jeff always had a way of talking to Todd gently, never with any hints of condescension in his tone. After all, Jeff was the only person in the house who ever acknowledged Todd’s existence. And after everything that had happened, Todd was certain he was no closer to gaining support from his parents than a couple months prior; in fact, he’d been quite sure he was further from garnering any cent of respect, let alone support.
      �� “Oh, uh… right now?” Todd spoke, barely above a whisper. He knew he didn’t need to feel embarrassed or nervous around Jeff, but that’s just how things were for him now. Anything he said or did felt… wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it.
        “Yeah, I think Mom and Dad went to pick up some dinner, so I was just thinking that we could head out for a few minutes. Maybe get a little familiar with town and stuff,” Jeff smiled at Todd, his perfectly straight teeth somehow still gleaming in the darkening light of Todd’s room, “Come on, I know you probably don’t feel up to it, but it’d be better than sitting in here while it progressively gets darker,” Jeff attempted to joke, laughing slightly.
        Todd gave him a half smile, half grimace, “Alright. Think I need a jacket?”
        “Want to drive with the top down, so probably,” Jeff smiled, smacking the doorway and turning down the hallway, “Leaving in five!” he called down the hall as he went.
        While they rode leisurely around town, Todd kept his head mostly turned to the side, leaning his cheek on his arm and taking in all the things they drove past. Lots of houses on moderate pieces of land lined the streets; they were nothing like the spacious farms and open pastures of Alabama. Up until recently, Todd had always considered the south home. But truth be told, he wasn’t sure what home was anymore.
        “Oh, sweet, Todd, look! There’s an arcade!” Jeff patted Todd’s shoulder with the back of his hand as he cruised down the street. The big neon lights were hanging over a brick building spelling “GAMES & POOL.” It looked like the marquees Todd had seen of New York City in the magazines. He just nodded at his brother’s sentiment as they pulled up to the red light. Glancing up at the bright sign once more, his gaze was torn away when the door to the arcade opened, revealing five lanky boys spilling out onto the sidewalk.
        “I told you I was going to beat the high score and you punks didn’t believe me!” one with sandy hair said, walking backwards and facing his friends. His face was twisted into a mischievous grin and his voice ricocheted across the street as the boys seemed to be making their way to the movie theatre a few doors down.
        “Charlie, no one cares that you beat the high score,” the tallest one replied; Todd noticed he had a flattop haircut, which is something no one in Alabama would have ever had; Todd thought it looked neat. The flattop’s sentiment earned a chuckle from all the boys, but a particularly loud laugh from a tall, dark-haired boy standing toward the front of the group. He wore beige slacks and a tucked in red flannel with black and white hi-top Chuck Taylor’s. And Todd noticed his dimples were deep into his cheeks while he laughed. As the boys walked down the sidewalk to the theatre ticket vestibule, the light turned green and Jeff began to drive. As the car passed the group, the dark-haired boy looked up and locked eyes with Todd.
        “Neil, still five for Gidget?” the ginger one with glasses said. The dark-haired boy (who Todd could now assume was Neil) held Todd’s gaze for a couple more seconds before tearing his eyes away and nodding at his friend. Todd’s cheeks were ablaze as Jeff drove further away. Trying to not move his head, Todd simply looked back at the boys in the side mirror until they were simply blobbed figures standing under the light of the theatre.
        When Todd and Jeff arrived home, their parents’ car was in the driveway, and the light in the kitchen was on.
        “Hope you’re hungry,” Jeff turned to Todd as he switched the engine off. He just looked at Jeff blankly; his appetite had still not returned, so he didn’t feel hungry much anymore, “I know I am,” Jeff smiled, ruffling Todd’s hair and easing the tension between them. He nodded a little bit and opened the door, Jeff doing the same. As Jeff made his way up the steps, Todd trailed behind him, not wanting to be the first person his parents saw.
        “Jeffy, is that you?” his mother’s voice called from the kitchen.
        “Yeah, Mom, we just went to check out the neighborhood a bit,” Jeff called, slowing his pace, falling into step with Todd and slinging his arm around his little brother’s shoulder.
        “Dinner’s on the table, dear,” she replied as the boys walked into the dining room.
        “Smells good, Ma,” Jeff smiled, taking his seat at the table after patting Todd’s shoulder. Todd sat down tentatively and stared at the spread in front of him. His parents had gotten KFC for the second night in a row, and Todd was about as excited as he was the first time (that being not at all).
        “I know we had it last night, but it really just reminds me of the food back home,” his mother said, pulling her napkin into her lap.
        “You boys eat up, now,” his father said, gesturing to the bucket of chicken and sides in front of the pair. Jeff grabbed his food, and took extra care to offer Todd all of the things he picked up for himself. While their parents busied themselves in a conversation about the pie their neighbors had dropped off, Jeff nudged Todd lightly,
        “Look, I know you’re not hungry, but have a biscuit at least, okay?” he muttered and held one out to his younger brother. Todd took it hesitantly, put it in the middle of his plate, and stared at it, “Come on, Todd. Please,” Jeff mumbled again.
        “What’s that, Jeffrey?” his father turned to him.
        “Oh, nothing, Pop, just telling Todd to have some dinner,” Jeff smiled small. Todd’s father looked at him with disgust.
        “Eat,” he grunted. At the timbre of his father’s voice, Todd flinched slightly and picked off a part of the biscuit to nibble on while the conversation turned to Jeff’s plans for the fall semester. Fading into the background (as usual), Todd tuned out the conversation and focused really hard on his white Chuck Taylor’s, getting a flash of the tall, dark-haired boy’s face in his mind. Neil. Shaking his head slightly, Todd adjusted his gaze to the plate in front of him and waited for another painful dinner to end.
        When the summer had wound down and the weeks in Vermont had become more familiar, Todd’s parents had busied themselves with getting Jeff ready for dorm move-in and paying little, if any, attention to Todd. Currently, Todd was up in his room, preparing for convocation the next day. Jeffrey had left the past Thursday, driving up on his own. He had told Todd to not take everything so seriously and to do the best he could (because he knew that Todd was capable of a lot of things). He also mentioned that he was just a call away if Todd ever needed anything (he wrote his telephone number onto a scrap of paper). Todd had searched the arcade and the theatre a couple times in the hopes of running into the group of boys he had seen on their second night in town, but to no avail.
        Sitting in front of the mirror, Todd analyzed himself. His hair had grown out kind of long, and his mother hadn’t taken him to get it cut, so he’d have to deal with that, but everything else looked normal. Things certainly didn’t feel normal, but he was used to the discomfort by now. The only thing he was truly worried about was his stupid accent. He’d spent the last few weeks hanging around diners and spots with Jeff, and hadn’t heard a single southern accent. He knew his drawl would just make him appear stupid to all these super educated kids, so he’d put a lot of effort into controlling it. He was actually doing okay at it, he just needed to make sure he didn’t slip up. Todd didn’t need any aspect of his personality or appearance to be called attention to. He got up from the floor and crawled into bed, dreading what the next day and year would bring.
        Convocation turtled by, two hours of sitting in a church pew and listening to some headmaster spout of statistics that Todd didn’t care about. As far as he was concerned, he wanted to finish his senior year and get the hell out of here; Todd had always wanted to go to California, but his parents told him it was a pipe dream (“After the stunt you pulled in Alabama, we won’t be funding your college anywhere!” his father had yelled).
        “Ah, Mr. Anderson, is it?” the headmaster questioned when it was Todd’s turn to be introduced after the ceremony.
        “U-uh, yes sir,” he mumbled.
        “Well, we don’t normally take public school transfers, but you will fit in well here. Any major problems you let me know,” he shook Todd’s hand rather harshly.
        “Thank you, sir,” he nodded and moved along.
        Feeling his chest start to tighten, Todd made his way out onto the grass where he sat down against a tree and waited for his parents. After an uncomfortable and awkward goodbye with them, he roamed the grounds a little bit, practicing his newly-fashioned accent quietly to himself. As he rounded a corner to the courtyard, he bumped shoulders with a boy, and turned to apologize, dead-set on making his southern accent unknown (or as unknown as it could be).
        “Ope- sorry about that,” the boy laughed nervously. When Todd looked up at him, it was the boy from outside the arcade all those weeks ago. Shit.
        “S-sorry,” Todd mumbled. The boy nodded a little bit.
        “It’s all good. I’m Neil Perry,” he smiled, holding out his hand, seemingly unaware or forgetting of the fact that they’d seen each other before.
        “Todd Anderson,” he manipulated his tongue to sit flatter in his mouth, so as not to let slip his Alabaman background. He had trouble looking into Neil’s eyes, but when he got a good look, he realized they were dark, dark brown and incredibly deep.
        “Oh, that’s you? I think that makes us roommates,” Neil said, patting Todd on the shoulder. Oh no, Todd thought, his cheeks flushing. Stop it, he thought to himself and cleared his throat.
        “Oh… cool,” Todd nodded a little bit and pursed his lips.
        “I gotta get going. See you soon!” he patted Todd’s shoulder again and took off in the direction he had been going when Todd bumped into him.
        Yep, Todd sighed. This is going to be a long year.
tagging some people (especially those of you who said i should post this heh): @queertoddanderson @babytoddanderson @cupiiid @justarandompjofan @charliedaltonofficial @pretentious-strikes @aedan-mills 
and a big thank you to @noelliza as always bc she’s the best and reads all my stuff before i even think about putting it anywhere on the internet lol <3
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namariea · 3 years
Text
Devil’s Advocate | I
“So for argument’s sake... let’s just say Do Kyungsoo really is the boring square you say he is..” 
“Don’t you want to find out what makes him tick?”
Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader
Words: 4.4k
Genre: Romance, Slowburn, Smut
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It started with a knock on your door.
“Jongin is coming over tonight, that cool?”
Looking up from your laptop screen, you stared at your roommate who was leaning against your doorway. Blinking slowly, you processed her words.
“Jongin is coming over.”
“Yes, that’s what I just said.”
“And will Mr. Kim be staying over?”
“That would be a correct assumption, yes.”
“Sleeping in your room.”
“Why, did you want him to sleep here with you? Not what I was expecting, but I’m all down for polygamy.”
With a sigh, you saved the document you were working on and began to close your laptop. Collecting the various papers and books scattered around you, you began to tuck them away neatly into your backpack. Sliding off of the bed, you walked the length of the room and began to rifle through your drawers, pulling out some clothes.
Frowning, Jennie walked over to you and looked over your shoulder as you began refolding them and putting them in a gym bag.
“What are you doing?”
“I have a paper I need to finish proofing for tomorrow and I highly doubt I will get any work done with the two of you going at it like animals.”
Jennie didn’t even look fazed at the comment, shrugging non committedly while throwing some pajama shorts your way. Rolling your eyes you passed through the joined bathroom and threw in your toiletries. As you were zipping up your bag a knock came at the door causing you to pause.
Well, that was fast.
Turning around, you looked at the brunette behind you with raised eyebrows, and only then she had the decency to look the slightest bit sheepish.
“Have I told you how much I love you today?”
With your roommate trailing at your heels blabbering about how you are the greatest roommate ever and how she owes you a life debt, you opened the front door and were greeted with Jongin holding what appeared to be a party sized bucket of KFC. Before he could open his mouth you stuck out your hand, waiting.
Blinking down at your outstretched palm, he gave you a confused look.
“Keys. Since you are kicking me out of my bed I’m taking yours”
Jennie snorted behind you as Jongin’s face split into a wide grin.
“You know, I always knew you were a great person.” fishing out his keys from his pocket he handed them to you.
Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you gave the couple a wave of your hand and began to make your way down the hall. You were halfway to the elevators when Jongin's loud voice stopped you.
“Oh by the way, Kyungsoo isn’t around tonight, so feel free to raid the fridge before he gets back.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Jongin’s presence at your apartment wasn’t a new occurrence.
In the beginning, it was just him coming over during the day to help Jennie with her design assignments. Which was ok, amazing actually, since it helped her out a lot and saved you dealing with her stress meltdowns.
Then it progressed to Jongin appearing at your dinner table every Friday to partake in Chinese takeout nights. Which was fine, again, since he picked it up on his way over and pitched in. He also somehow was able to sweet talk the old woman who owned the store and managed to get extra egg rolls. Can’t go wrong with that.
It wasn’t until Jennie gave you the look while the older boy excused himself to use the bathroom after one said dinner that you took the hint.
Now, Jongin occasionally stays over during the weekends, where you would find him in the living room at ungodly hours watching the Pirates of the Carribean all the while eating a family sized package of oreo’s. Which was mildly perturbing on two counts. First, was the fact that this was probably the 5th time you’ve seen him watch that movie, and second, those were your oreos.
The final straw was not until the weekend that just past where you were woken up a loud banging. It was not until you were  halfway to Jennie’s door in a frantic scramble that your sleep deprived brain caught up with you and realized it was very much not a violent murder taking place in the room over.
Animals.
It was then you all agreed to establish some sort of door-sock system.
Which in essence was - if Jongin was coming over, it was probably best to just find somewhere else to crash.
You didn’t actually mind leaving as much as you thought you would. Jennie was one of your closests friends and it was clear as day that Jongin made her happy. You didn’t even mind hanging out with the guy, he was fun and always brought snacks in return for practically living at your place. Even if his tastes in movies were highly questionable.
It was just sometimes - like right now where you had a Business Ethics paper due at 7AM - where you needed all the quiet you could get.
Reaching the apartment, you slotted the key into the lock, you pushed open the door to Jongin and Kyungsoo’s apartment. Stepping through the threshold you were greeted by darkness.
Flicking on the lights you took in the apartment. You had been in the apartment a handful of times when Chanyeol threw parties, but this was the first time you had been there on your own, literally.
From the neatly organized coffee table to the dust-less surfaces as far as the eye can see, the state of the apartment very much reflected that of the other owner - there was no way anyone would believe the human tornado that was Kim Jongin lived here otherwise.
Speaking of the other owner -
“Kyungsoo?”
Thank goodness for small mercies.
Do Kyungsoo, best friend of Jongin and probably the biggest enigma you've ever met. Not only was he more reserved and mild tempered in comparison to his flatmate, but he was the only one in your mutual friend group that you couldn’t bring yourself to get close to.
It wasn’t for a lack of trying, mind you. And to Kyungsoo’s credit he has never been rude to you, though you wouldn’t necessarily call it friendly either. Cordial at best...maybe. His deposition towards you, and apparently anyone who didn’t know him before the year 2015 was polite but distant. He was so different from the rest of his friends that one day Jennie had asked Jongin how he and Kyungsoo even lived together.
“We met freshman year-”  Jongin said while spooning a mountain of orange chicken onto his plate.
“We were paired up as roommates and we just clicked - Kyungsoo is a great guy, he’s actually pretty hilarious”
“Really?” Jennie leaned in, abandoning her lo mein to gape at the man next to her.
“Its true!” Jongin said defensively at her expression, “how do I explain it-"
"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see."
Now, you weren’t sure if Kyungsoo had ‘warmed up to you’ yet, but you definitely saw the man’s look of disgust as he caught you making kraft dinner in the microwave that one time during finals last semester.
Hot tip - never make microwave kraft dinner in front of a Culinary Arts major.
Checking your watch and noting it was half past ten, you settled down cross-legged at the coffee table in the living room. Pulling out your laptop and notes, you organized it all in front of you before rolling your neck and flexing your fingers.
“Now, where was I-”
After what seems like the hundredth time going over the same words over and over again, desperately making sure you didn’t have any spelling mistakes and that your citations were all correct, you finally hit save for the last time. Tapping the screen of your phone you brought it up to your face as you leant back against the couch, squinting as the time appeared.
2:35 AM
Stretching, you lifted yourself from your sitting position and began packing your laptop and papers away.
Exhausted, you crawled your way up onto the couch, pulled the Captain America themed throw blanket over your tired body, and closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to take you.
Which should have been an easy task.
Except Jongin apparently decided to buy the cheapest couch in Ikea.
No wonder the man lived on your sofa, he has never known true comfort.
Huffing, you sat up begrudgingly, groaning as your body objected to the movement. You glanced down the darkened hallway and pursed your lips.
Taking your bags you began shuffling down the hallway and stopped in front of one of the doors that was ajar. Slowly pushing it open you hesitantly stuck your head in. The sight of the various Mangas scattered on the floor confirmed that you had found the right bedroom.
I mean, there are worse places to sleep.
Making your way further into the room, you kicked the door closed as you made quick work of stripping out of your clothes and changing into your pajamas. You all but dove into the bed, not caring that it was unmade or that you probably should have changed the sheets. A content sigh escaped you as you sank into the mattress, sleep taking over.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Waking with a start, you were momentarily disoriented as you took in your surroundings. Blinking blearily around, it took a few seconds to remember where you were and why your bed smelled like Old Spice.
Ah, right.
Groaning, you glanced at the window and took in the darkness still.
You tried to close your eyes in hopes that you would be able to catch a few more minutes of sleep. However, instead of slipping into blissful sleep you found yourself tossing and turning, body restless in any position you put it in.
Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes you lay there for a few moments. Blindly reaching towards the side table you fumbled with your phone, squinting as the screen illuminated your vision.
5:50 am
There is no God.
Finally accepting that you were not going to get any more sleep, you begrudgingly slid out of bed. Stretching, you began to make your way to the door, stifling a yawn as you opened it.
And immediately screamed.
“WHAT THE F- Kyungsoo?”
Standing in front of you was a hooded figure, looking just as startled as you were. Hand grasping the handle leading to the room directly across the hall, Kyungsoo had turned at the sound of Jongin’s door opening and his eyes widened almost comically at your presence.
As the fuzziness of sleep was lifted you realized that it must have been the sound Kyungsoo entering the apartment that woke you up. And judging from the incredulous look he was giving you, Jongin must not have told him you were there. Taking in his baseball cap and casual attire, you felt your eyebrows furrow.
Did he just get back?
You watched as his eyes slid down and you were suddenly very much aware of the lopsided bun that had come half undone in your sleep and the thin material of your pajamas. His eyes then darted from your own to the bedroom and back, eyebrows furrowing.
Your eyes widened at the silent question glinting in those dark eyes. Your hands immediately flew up as you began sputtering.
“It's not what it looks like!“ you began frantically and he only lifted a dark brow higher in a silent bid for you to continue. “Jongin was staying over at our place last night and I came here to give them privacy, you know how they are, it’s like National Geographic except nobody asked for it”
He shot you a bemused look.
You felt yourself flush and looked at the space of the wall next to his head “And well, I didn't get kicked out of my own bed to sleep on a couch… So I slept... in here" gesturing to the bedroom behind you awkwardly.
There was another beat of silence.
Great. Fantastic. Realll smooth. It seemed that without fail, every time you are in the immediate presence of the man across from you, you feel yourself suddenly tense up. Which is stupid, considering the fact that you are friends (distant acquaintances), and have been around each other for months now and got along great (cordial at best), surely by now you can have a normal conversation at the very least.
Speaking of conversation, you also become hyperaware of the fact that the other person in the hallway has yet to say a single word to you. Palms beginning to sweat, you began to scramble to think of something - anything - to cut the silence. As if your insane ramblings weren’t bad enough. He probably thinks you’re even more of a raging lunatic, compounded with what happened last semester. Why, why, of all things why did you have to crave Kraft Dinner for fucks sake-
“I see.”
Your inner monologue was cut short by a low reply. it seemed Kyungsoo deemed your answer acceptable, nodding slowly to himself.
You almost felt your body sag in relief, shifting your weight on the balls of your feet.
As another beat of silence passed, you fidgeted again as you were regarded by the dark haired man. Kyungsoo had yet to make any move towards his own room and you suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands.
Someone kill me.
You cleared your throat, “Umm...so now that that's cleared up… I’m just going to... go over...there” gesturing to the bathroom. You didn’t even wait for him to answer you as you powered your way past him and slipped into the bathroom, pressing your back against the door as it closed behind you.
You waited with baited breath as you heard silence from the hallway. Eventually after what felt like an eternity, there was a shuffling of feet, and the clicking of a door closing from down the hall.
Silently making the motion of bashing your head against the door, you let out a deep breath. Shaking your head you flicked on the light and picked up Jongin’s papaya face wash.
I mean, that could have been worse.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Making your way across campus, you faltered slightly as a yawn made its way through you. After submitting your paper to your professor's dropbox you had spent the day catching up on the never ending tasks you had on your to-do list. You had holed yourself up at the campus library and it wasn’t until your stomach decided to do its best impression of a Harley Davidson that you decided it was probably best to call it a day.
Pulling out your phone you pulled out a delivery app and started browsing the menu for the greek place a block down from your apartment. Flicking through the menu, you contemplated between the Pork Souvlaki or the Chicken gyro...maybe Jennie would be willing to go half and ha-.
You halted on the sidewalk.
Right.
Jennie.
Jennie who is currently still at your apartment.
With Jongin.
Well, shit.
Switching to your messages you sent a text to Jennie.
You: All clear?
You watched with bated breath as the three dots appeared at the bottom.
A sock emoji.
Lovely.
Sitting down at a nearby bench, you began sending out a barrage of texts.
After about 20 minutes of asking around you found out that Jisoo was out of town seeing her parents, Rose’s apartment building was apparently being fumigated for the second time this month and Seulgi was having Irene and Wendy over and you didn’t think you wanted to be part of whatever freaky party those three were going to have.
With every text that came in you felt yourself slowly deflate more and more. Placing your hand in your jacket, you grasped the keys that were in your pocket. They felt heavier than they should be.
There was one other option.
Grimacing, you flushed as you remembered the painfully awkward conversation you exchanged with a particular dark haired man this morning. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be home if you went over now, and you didn’t even want to begin imagining how this interaction will go.
You bit down on your bottom lip in worry as you brain tried playing out the various scenarios in your head. All in all, Kyungsoo didn’t seem to care all that much this morning, but then again when have you ever seen Kyungsoo care about anything.
Come on, think. Well, what do we know...
He is a mutual friend (questionable), for starters. If you both are able to get along with the dumperfire that is your friend group you have to have something in common.. Right?
You stopped fiddling with the keys in your pocket as the realization hit you.
Pulling up your contacts you scanned down the list before pressing ‘call’.
“Oi, Jongin. Does Kyungsoo like Greek?”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Turns out no, Kyungsoo does not, in fact, like Greek.
According to Jongin, Kyungsoo is obsessed with this weird hole-in-the-wall Italian place that had handmade pasta. What was supposed to be a 10 minute walk ended up taking 45 minutes as you got lost 3 times, and once you finally found the store the doors were locked. What restaurant shuts down from 3 to 5 on a Friday?
Hipster pasta makers, apparently.
It was lost to you what the appeal was, but if there was anything that you learned in the years as a young adult living on their own, it was that there were two sure-fire ways to bond with someone:
Get drunk
Eat good food while drunk
The latter was not necessarily limited to ‘good’ food - after a few shots to you a McNugget is like a Michelen meal. However you had a gut feeling that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be too welcoming if you showed up with tacos and tequila.
So did you wait around for an hour and a half just to order something you could have bought as Lean Cuisine?
You bet your ass you did.
Because nothing says I’m sorry I know we barely know each other but our friends are banging so were kind of stuck together quite like overpriced spaghetti and meatballs.
Adjusting the paper bag in your arms you walked up to the familiar door. Fumbling with the key you finally managed to wedge it open and stepped through the threshold.
Unlike the last time you entered the apartment, this time you weren’t met with silence. The lights were already on and the sound of the TV filtered throughout the apartment. Toeing off your shoes and arranging them neatly next to the pair by the door.
Arms full of take out you were all of a sudden nervous to turn the corner.
You are once again reminded of the fact that you are very much not close with this man and this will probably be the first time you ever said more than 4 sentences to him in one sitting. And now you are about to have dinner together, alone.
"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see"
Kim Jongin don’t you fail me now.  
Kyungsoo was sitting on the couch looking at his phone when you entered the living room. He immediately looked up and you watched his eyes widen marginally at your presence, clearly not expecting you back.
“I…” The mini speech you had been preparing during the 12 minute walk to the apartment died in your throat as you made eye contact with the dark haired man in front of you. The look he gave you left you momentarily thrown, it was a look that instantly made you think that he was annoyed with you with the way his eyebrows were drawn and the slight frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.
It wasn’t until you saw Kyungsoo’s eyes slide to the bag in your arms briefly, and the slightest flicker of curiosity gave you the courage to push on.
“Jongin is still my place,” you offered, and watched as his eyes flit back to meet your own.
“So,” you continued, shifting the bag in your arms, “I brought some dinner, as a peace offering of sorts, I guess. I hope you’re hungry, because they gave us enough garlic bread to feed a small Italian village.” you let out an awkward laugh.
Kyungsoo looked at you as if you had grown a second head. You didn’t blame him, but you were too far gone to back down now, even if the man was giving you a shoulder so cold it could freeze Sahara.
Making your way into the kitchen you placed the bag on the counter and began taking plates out of the cabinets, trying to keep your trembling hands busy.
Stupid, stupid, this whole idea was stupid.
As you were transferring the food from the containers you heard a slight rustling behind you.
You almost turned around when you didn’t hear anything else, but then a deep voice spoke up, albeit hesitantly.
“Is that from Giulietta’s?”
Stiffening a smile you did not respond to the man immediately when he materialized at your side.
Humming in affirmation you handed him his plate, which he took slowly, eyeing the food suspiciously.
I swear, this guy.
It wasn’t until you had dished out your own plate that you turned to him finally and gave him what you hoped was a friendly smile.
“So, have you watched the new season of Great British Bakeoff?”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
“Have a nice weekend? Actually don’t answer that, I really don’t want to know.” You didn’t even look up from your laptop as Jennie slid into the seat next to you at your morning lecture.
“Jongin has been doing ballet for years, I swear I never knew a body could bend like-”
“Ew. Gross Jennie, it’s 9AM”
“I have no concept of time anymore, the man wouldn’t let me sleep-”
“Jennifer, please, this is a sacred place.”
“This is Introduction to Environmental Science, most of the people here are too worried about cleaning baby ducks with Dawn soap than to eavesdrop”
Groaning you buried your head in your hands and took a deep breath. You really should have stopped by the Cafe next door and got some coffee, you aren’t nearly coherent enough to deal with this.
“Hey,” Jennie started, pulling you from your thoughts.
“Thanks again for stepping out and giving us the apartment for the weekend, I really appreciate it”
“You’re lucky I like you.
“Oh please-”
“-I barely got out of there alive.”
“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”
It wasn’t, actually.
Last night you and Kyungoo had sat in their living room and watched the Great British Bakeoff while you ate your dinner. You thanked whatever higher power there was that Kyungsoo was not a stickler for eating at the dinner table. Or maybe he was, but also thought this situation was incredibly awkward and also wanted some sort of distraction to avoid having to make small talk.
It wasn’t wholly unpleasant, you actually found yourself mildly enjoying yourself. He was a man of a few words but every now and again he would sprinkle in some choice commentary here and there, making noncommittal noises when a contestant added a new ingredient.
Odd fellow, this one.
He was polite enough to stick around for a couple of episodes before standing and offering to take your plate.
“Would you like something else? Jongin keeps ice cream sandwiches in the fridge”
“Oh...no, I’m ok thanks”
You were absolutely going to have one later.
Giving a curt nod, he walked back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. After a few minutes he returned to the living room, shifting uneasily on his feet. He had this thoughtful, intense expression, almost searching. For what, you had no idea but it made you fidget nonetheless, breaking eye contact and pick at imaginary lint on your sweater.
You were about to make some excuse about needing to go back to the library - because you sure as hell weren’t going to stick around here -  when he mumbled something about having papers to grade before disappearing down the hall to his room without another word.
A few more moments passed before you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
Well, that’s that I guess.
“It went fine. He was...nice”
“Nice.”
“As nice as you can be with a stranger invading your space unnanounced.”
“So dramatic, it’s not like you two are strangers.”
“I don’t even think he knows my name.”  
“We have all hung out loads of times before-”
“I have spoken to him more in the last 12 hours than I have in the last 12 months”
“And who’s fault is that? If anything, that's progress, you should be thanking me. Kyungsoo’s a hoot”
You leveled her with a look.
“...have I told you how much I love you today?”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A/N: Had this in my drafts for over 2 years. Hoping by posting I’ll be motivated to actually finish it~
133 notes · View notes
yeahimaloser · 3 years
Text
Oh To Be In Love
Part 6
Summary: You and your best friend, Hawks, learn to be in love.
Reader has no pronouns mentioned (story is gender inclusive)
Hello everyone! sorry if this took a while, I hope enjoy though!!
Also HOLY HELL THANK YOU ALL FOR 400!!It’s kinda funny because I hit 300 a week ago! Anyways, requests are still open and I’ll leave em open longer because of me getting to 400!!Also, I will not get to everyone, please keep that in mind (I linked the info for requesting right here :))
Part 1 -> Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4-> Part 5
Word count: 3.5k
. . .
After you had visited Hawks in the hospital, it felt like things had calmed down between you two.
Maybe things hadn’t gone back to completely normal, but you were getting there. The tension between you and him was less thick, the air felt more breathable now. After what Hawks had said to you in the hospital, you both continued to talk it out, trying to make sure you both were ok with the situation. But things weren’t completely the same.
You felt as though there was a different type of tension between you two now. Like, Hawks knew something you didn’t. You never brought it up, even though maybe you should, you really wanted the thickness of the unspoken, mysterious string of tension to just evaporate. But it still seemed that something about the day you had visited him in the hospital had done something, but you weren’t sure what. 
Hawks had been acting a bit different towards you. Talking to you more, hanging out with you more, and even paying you back for the chicken you had bought him. He told you that he just, “wanted to be a good friend.” 
You weren’t sure what was going on with him.
----
It was a nice Friday evening, you weren’t even up to anything. Just watching some random show sitting on your couch, eating whatever was left in your fridge when your phone started to ring.
You looked at the caller I.D to see it was Hawks. 
Why is he calling so late? And for no reason?
Sure, you and Hawks would call each other pretty often, but this late? It seemed a bit strange for him. He always told you how important his sleep schedule was. He had a habit of working so late and being so exhausted when he had gotten home to his penthouse.  
You picked it up, “Hey, what’s up?”
“Meh, nothing really, not right now,” his voice sounded a bit tired, most likely from him working so hard during the day, “But I was wondering, what are you doin’ tomorrow?”
You were a bit confused by the question but answered nevertheless, “Nothing, I was just gonna hang around my house for a bit. Why,” you asked.
“Well,” Hawks started, “I wanted to ask you on a date.”
“Wha-,” before you could stop yourself, you had already yelled the question into your phone, shooting up from your place on the couch.
But you heard Hawks just bark with laughter, “I meant like a friend date. I heard of this really amazing restaurant, we can get all dolled up to go out. It’ll be fun.”
Your heartbeat still hadn’t calmed down from Hawks’ question, but it left you a bit confused, “Isn’t that what we always do though? That just sounds like a normal evening for the two of us. And besides, what about your wings?”
Hawks just chuckled, “Don’t you worry about that part, dove, my wings are practically nubs, remember?” Hawks had gotten back from a mission a while ago, making his feathers dissipate down to just the base, which was funny considering he was only gone for a few days on his trip (he refused to tell you about missions, saying he didn’t like talking his trips), “So don’t you worry. And also, yeah you are right we do go out a lot, but this place is supposed to be really fancy and nice. So, I’ll drive us over and make us a reservation, we’ll have a lot of fun I promise. Sound good?”
You bit your lip, this all sounded a bit much, even for Hawks. He had a strange habit of spoiling you at times. No matter what you told him, he would insist on it. Taking you to fancy dinners, buying you expensive gifts. You couldn’t understand why he felt the need to, you told him repeatedly that you didn’t want to be his friend for his money. Although, it seemed whenever you two were at a KFC that generosity would disappear.
“I mean, if you think it’s a good idea,” you said in a hesitant tone.
“Great! So tomorrow at five I’ll pick you up. Make sure you look nice, alright?”
“Ok birdbrain.”
You heard him groan, “Now I’m re-thinking asking you, stop calling me that.”
“Na, it’s too fun.”
“Whatever.”
You giggled a bit, “So tomorrow at five?”
“See you tomorrow Chickie.”
-----
You had to admit, you were nervous.
Ok, more than nervous.
Going on any type of date with Hawks (even if he instituted it was just a friend-date) would make anyone nervous. He was Hawks, the second-best pro hero, any normal person would be freaking out. But you’ve been infatuated with him for years, hiding it was nerve-racking, so going on a date made it one-hundred times worse. 
You were terrified of messing something up, of looking terrible, and having Hawks think of you as a slob. Or if you embarrassed him at this nice restaurant, if you were to say something rude or out of hand. You really just didn’t want to mess this up.
Even if you two were as close as you were, sometimes your anxiety couldn’t help but crawl in. Making you feel jittery and nervous, you knew that Hawks honestly wouldn’t care all that much really, he wasn’t that kind of guy. He wasn’t shallow, at least as far as you knew, he was a good person. You knew he was the kind of person to find someone based on character, not on someone's outward appearance. At the end of the day, he just had a chill type of demeanor, not caring all that much for how good a person looked, he was way more perceptive than that.
But still, you wanted to outdo his expectations, at least a bit.
You had picked out one of your nicer outfits, taken a shower, did your hair all nice, and made yourself look presentable for Hawks. But you were still nervous. What if your hair looked hideous? Did this outfit even look good? Hawks would probably look so much better, you didn’t want to look horrid next to him. 
Hawks is an extremely handsome man, someone would have to be blind not to see it, so walking into a nice restaurant with someone like him was extremely daunting. You really did want to look your best, you wanted to actually impress Hawks. He’d seen you in your sweats before, he’d seen you right when you’ve woken up, so you wanted to show him that you could clean up well. 
So here you were, looking at yourself in the mirror to give yourself a quick once over, making sure it looked perfect when you heard a knock at your door.
You rushed over to open it, hoping to God Hawks would think you looked alright.
Opening the door to see Hawks standing there, looking so… well, hot.
He had a nice tan suit, which seemed to match his hero custom. His hair, while still a mess, was done up a bit nicer, gelled back a bit. Of course, his stubble on his face was still unkempt but still gave a nice rougher look to him. A white shirt under his suit jacket had a few buttons undone, adding more to his look of natural handsomeness. 
You noticed the big coat he wore over his suit, seemingly to hide the rest of his wings.
But you didn’t notice him eyeing you, looking you up and down.
“You look,” he started, a light up-take to his voice, “really good.”
You chuckled, “So do you, that tan suit looks really good on you.”
“Oh yeah, I kinda thought so. I figured the black one might  be a bit much, so I opted for the tan.”
“The black one would probably make you stand out too much huh.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. But you look good, I like the outfit, makes your figure look really...nice,” the comment made you feel a bit giddy, but you hid it with an eye roll.
“Well, that's good to hear seeing as I spent so much time picking it out. I didn’t want to look like a total bum at this nice restaurant.”
He just chuckled,  “Well, you look amazing. I would say better than me. Anyways,” he extended a hand to you, “shall we?”
You smirked raising a brow, “Wow, so romantic.”
Hawks just laughed, “Romantic, huh? I was just going for a more friendly route, just trying to be polite.”
You wrapped your arm around his, “Alright, birdboy, let’s go.”
“I thought I told you not to call me that!”
-----
To say the restaurant was extravagant would be putting it lightly.
The walls were glistening with some sort of marble, the ceiling was so far up, you were sure Hawks could probably fly all the way to the top and he wouldn’t smack into anything, the lights looming the dining place made the place a well-lit area, the music was even played by a live orchestra. The floors were covered in red carpeting, with some sort of intricate pattern placed on it. The attendance all wore a black tux, the serves carried food that made your mouth water a bit, the smell overpowering. 
The servers and the customers alike didn’t seem to notice Hawks and you entered the building. You didn’t know if it was because most of these people were so rich that they were used to seeing big shot hero's, or if it was because Hawks’ wings were shrunk and couldn’t be easily seen. Either way, it felt nice. There were very few times where you and Hawks could be in public together, you both really didn’t want the public to get information on your friendship, you both liked the fact that you two had your privacy in each other. But it was also due to security reasons. Hawks had told you that, “Hero’s having non-hero friends can be difficult, villains can play dirty with loved ones, it happens a lot more than you’d think.” So, going out into the public was risky, a few restaurants and shops were hero friendly, making sure the paparazzi couldn’t get into their facility, making it easy for heroes to have fun with their family’s. You and Hawks had gone to those a few times, but with his busy schedule, it made more sense to just stay home with each other's company. 
As you two walked down the restaurant, Hawks told you that he really didn’t want to have just a table, he preferred privacy. He told you that at this restaurant you could just easily rent out a room to eat, he really likes his own little space. You were sure it was because he didn’t really like being in the public eye all that much, as much as he loved his fans, you knew it was draining to him. Although Hawks would never admit it, he was a bit paranoid. You figured that, as a hero, he had to be. But it did make it difficult for him to relax, you found yourself having to remind him that you and he were safe, nothing bad was going to happen in the safety and privacy of your home whenever you two hung out there. 
You didn’t expect the rooms to be all that big, expecting maybe both with some nice candles. Yet, you were very mistaken, the rooms were so sizable they were large enough to be some people's houses. 
In the middle, there was a nice table, with a bread basket and candles already lit. The floors were the same red carpeting that you had seen earlier, only they seemed to be cleaner and the pattern more vibrant, the color gave a nice contrast to the gray marble of the walls. You even realized a nice fireplace and a couch was in the corner, yet the area was big enough where the space wasn’t minimized just to accommodate the table and the fireplace, there seemed to be more than enough spacing in the room. Music played from the speakers in the room, still being played by an orchestra, but more relaxing.
“Hawks,” you were at a loss for words, “this is-”
“Yeah, I figured you would like it, it has a kinda homie feel to it don’t ya think,” he asked.
“I mean yeah,” you both sat down at the table, “homie for super-rich people.”
Hawks let out a hearty laugh, “So you like it?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
You noticed how the staff seemed very familiar with this kind of thing, you wondered to yourself if heroes came here with family and friends as well. Maybe the staff was just used to seeing pro hero’s on their workdays. 
As your appetizers came out, you finally asked, “So why all this? Why’d you feel the need to take me here of all places?”
“You’re acting like I can't do anything nice for you Y/N, come on, cut me some slack here.”
You shook your head, “I know you, Hawks, you're nice, but I can tell you’re doing this for a reason.”
He just sighed, “Alright, you got me. I feel bad, after what happened, after me being rude to you, I kinda wanted to do something nice for the two of us. To remind us of our friendship I guess,” Hawks chuckled, “I guess that’s kinda cheesy though.”
You giggled, “A bit, but still,” you reached for his hand, “I think it’s really nice. But we don’t need to do some fancy outings, I’m totally fine with laying around and eating KFC with you.”
Hawks smiled, “Noted. But still, I felt like going somewhere nice,” he shrugged, “Just wanted to be the nice guy. Show you I wanted to do something cool.”
You smirked, “Alright Mr. Money Bags, we get it, you’re loaded.”
He threw his hands in the air, “Hey! I didn’t mean it like that!”
You and Hawks continued to talk and chat while eating your food. Talking about anything really, hero business, your life, gossip, anything that you two found interesting the other seemed to enjoy listening. Hawks told you about how his hero work would be boring, or how it was exhilarating (you could never tell if he loved his job or loathed it). He told you about some other pros too; Miriko, Endeavor, Edgeshot, you were surprised how many pro heroes he’d gotten to know over the years. You, in turn, told him about your life, about the things stressing you out, about the people you meet, about your own stories. In truth, you knew that your stories probably sound like minuscule problems next to him trying to save Japan and keep everyone safe. But the way he listened made you feel as though you really were as important as a numu ravaging the city. 
That was the thing about Hawks, he was charming sure, but he was also someone whose presence made anyone let their guard down. He was charismatic, but his charisma stretched to his overall being, he really just made it so he’s demeanor put people at ease with him.
As the dinner continued, you felt the lingering tension dissolve, maybe a few stranded stayed, but overall, you felt the comfortable friendliness that you loved. You felt the openness you had grown accustomed to around Hawks, and in turn, you felt Hawks relax more in your company, feeling his smile become more genuine, his words become more like himself.
You two joked and laughed the whole night away, you honestly felt like only a few minutes had passed, you just felt so at ease with Hawks.
You were scraping up the last crumbs of your desert, Hawks already done with his. You listen to him ramble about Endeavor, listen to how his wings were ‘killing him lately.’
When he slowly stoped talking, the room heavy with silence for a moment.
He looked up at you, “Hey Y/N.”
“Hm,” you said, food still in your mouth.
He took a deep inhale, “Are- are you mad at me? For the hospital I mean.”
The question was out of nowhere, you two had barely even talked about what had happened at the hospital. You just kind of assumed he wanted to forget about the whole thing as much as you had. 
You paused for a moment, “...No, no I’m not. You were just worried, like me. We both did something stupid that day because we were concerned about each other. I can’t blame you for that.”
Hawks let out a breath, visibly relaxing. 
He went quiet again. Before you could ask him what was wrong on, he smiled at you.
“Do you wanna dance?”
The question shocked you, a dance? With Hawks? The man you’ve been in love with for years? Someone should pinch you to make sure you weren’t dreaming.
You did notice the shift in music, from the more lively sound to a gentler, more slow songs. You could tell the music was supposed to be romantic, supposed to be a dance for couples. 
“I-,” you could barely get your words out, still stuttering like a foul in front of him.
But Hawks just smirked, “Come on, the nice music, the fancy fireplace, the warm atmosphere,” he stood from his seat, extending a hand to you, “it’s all perfect for a dance. And besides, you look too good not to have a nice dance with. So, what do you say, chickadee? Sound fun,” his mischievous smirk turned into a real, genuine smile.
Some part of you had the sense to nod, taking a hold of his hand. He pulled you up to him, steading you lightly.
You placed your hands on his shoulder while he gripped your waist lightly. His hands gave you a light squeeze, you, in turn, gave his shoulders a small squeeze as well. He rocked you back and forth, setting a nice pace.
The carpeting against your feet felt soft and easy to dance on, the space of the room felt big enough to occupy you and Hawks as you dance together, holding each other as the rhythm of the music played on. 
You rested your head against him, slowly moving your body with his. Both of you were so close now, so together at this moment. 
Maybe the moment was too tender to be just between friends, you knew that. Maybe you should step away, save yourself the pain of heartbreak, but you couldn’t. Whatever spell Hawks had you under, you were in it for the long haul. 
This was one of Hawks’ many charms, his ability to pull you in, even if you knew you should step back. He just kept tugging at you, making you come closer and closer till you didn’t want to pull away.
But a part of you knew how this ends, it ends with you two still friends. Even if this moment felt like something more. 
So you allowed yourself to have it, you allowed your mind to let go and just enjoy it completely. Maybe you couldn’t have Hawks, maybe you were just wounding yourself more as you danced with him. You would deal with it later, right now, all you wanted was to be close to him.
It was a few more moments before Hawks spoke.
“Y/N,” you looked back at Hawks, “does it… does it bother you that you don’t know my real name?”
Man, today was his day for random questions, huh. This one also came out of nowhere as well; His real name? You two never really talked about it all that much, in reality, you never really gave his name much thought. 
You paused for a second, weighing your answer, “Well, first, you seem to have a knack at asking random questions today,” Hawks chuckled a bit, nodding his head, “Secondly, no, not really. You would still be you, a name wouldn’t change that,” you purse your lips, trying to make sure your words came out right, making sure your intent was correct and well-meaning, “at the end of the day, you’re you. A name won’t change that, you’ll still be my best friend at the end of the day, a name won’t change our relationship. I’ll still care about you, all the same, I’ll still value the time we spend together. I know you probably can't tell me your name because you’re...well you’re Hawks. But I don’t mind waiting, and I don’t mind if you never tell me, I like who you are, and I promise a name will never change that, it’ll only change what I call you, not how I view you.”
You didn’t realize Hawks had tensed up till he relaxed after your short speech. His body seemed to be a lot less stiff, his eyes looked relieved, his whole body seemed to melt a bit. 
“Thank you. I know I’ve asked two very random questions today, I’ve just been kinda thinking about em’. The name one has been especially bothersome. It’s just...I know so much about you, but you know so little about me. It seems kinda unfair,” he rocked you gently, giving your waist a light squeeze.
You just shrugged, “Well, I signed up for this. I knew what it meant to be friends with you, but I don’t regret a thing. No matter what, I whole-heartily believe it’s worth it.”
Hawks gave you a smile, and to your surprise, he gently pressed his lips to your forehead, “Thank you. I really appreciate you...so much.”
. . . 
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reader-mon · 4 years
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BNHA ❥ Warmth (i)
a/n: just a little vent fic cus boy howdy would i love it if hawks just swooped in and made all my troubles disappear lol word count: 1497 warning: sad, very sad, i cried when i wrote this lol
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“What’s his excuse this time?” 
You sniffled, rubbing your nose with your hoodie sleeve. You didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. His timing always was absolute shit and he always managed to find you when you least wanted him to.
He didn’t have the heart to tell you that you always went up onto your apartment roof whenever you were sad and you always went to the convenience store only a block from your place whenever you wanted to get drunk and his patrol route conveniently covered both areas.
Keigo Takami loved you in a way only red-tailed hawks could which was, to say, he wanted to be with you during your happiest times and your saddest times. He was your closest friend and, though he wanted to be more, he settled on being the best friend he could be.
Red-tailed hawks only felt love this deep and encompassing once in their lives.
“What do you want, Hawks?” You grumbled out, pulling your knees closer to your chest and crossing your arms, your body shivering as a cold wind swept through. 
You didn’t mind it. It was easier on you to focus on the cold than on the aching vast loneliness that sat in your chest. 
So, instead, you relished in the chill while you kept your eyes on the busy streets below you. It was beautiful, really. The car lights made such twinkling patterns as they drove through the streets. The lights on the skyscraper buildings surrounding you looked almost like stars.
You couldn’t help but think that every lit window was another happy family, another car passing the busy streets was another person driving to their loved ones, every little pedestrian another person with a warm house waiting for them.
Then, there was you.
“Don’t Hawks me.” Keigo finally barked back before sitting next to you, letting his feet dangle off the edge of the roof “What did your boyfriend tell you his excuse was this time?”
“He has work.” The words left your mouth before you could stop them and, honestly, saying them out loud made the hurt ache even more.
How selfish were you to ask for his time? He was working, doing his best to earn money so he could live. Who were you to ask him to spend more time with you? Who were you to add to his list of worries and problems? You, of all people--
“Hey, look at me.” You felt Keigo’s warm wing spread out behind you and, gently, softly, he pulled you towards him with his wing enveloping you “I know what you’re thinking.”
He knew because he was your best friend. He knew how you belittled yourself, how you would make all your problems seem so small, like you were always overreacting to them.
Sometimes, Keigo wanted to take that voice in your head and crush it in his fist.
“Do you know what I’m thinking?” You fought back tears by blinking your eyes, hoping they’d disappear. Instead, the tears built up in the corners of your eyes and you were forced to wipe them away with the edges of your hoodie sleeves.
Except, your hoodie smelled too much like him and it just made you want to cry even more. The ache was just so thick and suffocating, so palpable, like you could reach into your chest and squeeze it in your fist, like maybe you could pull it out and your body would feel lighter.
You felt Keigo’s arm wrap around your lower back and his gloved hand settled on your hip “I do. I know what it feels like to be lonely, kid.”
Except, really, it wasn’t just loneliness, was it? It was neglect, it was heartache, it was never being anyone’s first priority, not even your own.
But you were Keigo’s first priority. You always were and he wished that would be enough but, if it wasn’t for now, he’d just continue consoling you. 
“You know, it’s shit that he’s doing this to you.” Keigo looked away, trying to calm his anger towards your boyfriend. His voice sounded farther, like he turned his head.
Finally, you chanced a small glance at him. His side profile, like always, was roguishly handsome. His hair looked ruffled by wild winds, his cheeks red probably from the chill of the air, his golden eyes molten in the light of the setting sun.
Takami Keigo, for all intents and purposes, looked like someone you could fall in love with. 
He turned to look at you, saw the way the sun’s rays made you look angelic, and he felt his heart flutter, his eyes wide and soft like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky just for him “I wouldn’t treat you this way.”
More tears sprung in your eyes. Before you could stop them, they fell, bitter and frozen as they glided down your cheeks. Your throat hurt, probably from all the words that seemed clogged up in you, all the words you were so desperate to say.
Maybe, even worse, it was the ache in your chest that finally grew so large that it was forcing its way out. 
“I’d text you every day.” Keigo added as if trying to convince you of how wonderful he could be, like you needed convincing “I wouldn’t just text you to get my dick wet. I’d ask if you’ve eaten, ask what you’re doing, ask how your day’s going.”
“If you hadn’t eaten, I’d fly over with KFC and kick your ass.” He added and, though you laughed, it was wet and sad as more tears dripped down your cheeks.
Your cheeks got so wet with tears, in fact, that you started wiping them away which, of course, made you cry even more. All the hoodie you were wearing now could do was remind you of how dumb you were. 
Funny how you had asked your boyfriend for his hoodies so you wouldn’t miss him as much but, now, they were just a pathetic imitation of your boyfriend’s hugs.
You saw Keigo frown at you from the corners of your eyes but, before you could say anything, his hands were at the hem of your hoodie, pulling them up and up, until the fabric covered your head.
“Hey, what the hell, Hawks!”
Finally, he managed to wrangle the hoodie off of you. You shivered, obviously cold in such windy weather. Before you could continue to yell at him, however, he tossed the hoodie behind the both of you and shed his fur-lined coat.
You hadn’t been paying all that much attention to understand exactly how he slipped his wings through the back. Instead, you were distracted by the toned muscle he revealed as he took it off.
You had always assumed that whatever he wore underneath his coat was a black skin-tight turtleneck. In reality, it was sleeveless, showing off his almost immaculate shoulders. He was a pro-hero and it obviously showed.
Any other time, Keigo would’ve preened under your obviously appreciative gaze but he couldn’t find it in himself to be happy when you were obviously so sad.
“Here, forget about that asshole.” He wrapped you in his coat and you felt so small inside of it.
That wasn’t a bad thing, though. It was so warm and soft against your skin, unlike the rough texture of that well worn hoodie. It didn’t feel lonely, didn’t feel cold. It felt like safety and like security and like Keigo was hugging you close to him.
Keigo, on the other hand, could only feel his cheeks warm at the sight of you. He had always wondered what you’d look like in his clothes and he felt his stomach flutter now that it was right before him.
He thought you could never look any more beautiful but he was wrong. You looked so comfortable in his coat despite the fact that it was so big it engulfed you, the fur lining the hood brushing against your wet cheeks and the edges of the sleeves running past your finger tips.
You looked like you belonged to him and it hurt.
Suddenly, before you could even react to the fact that he slipped his coat onto you, he really was hugging you close to him, his wing back to wrapping around you and his arms holding you tight.
It had been so long since you felt someone hold you like that. It was hard, you were starved of affection and Keigo was practically offering you a banquet.
Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck. You wanted to push him away, wanted to stay loyal, but he was just so warm and comfortable and you could see yourself falling in love with him.
He could see himself spending eternity in your arms.
“C’mon.” Keigo muttered, his lips pressed against your temple and his breath tickling your skin “Forget about him, at least for tonight.”
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kat-katsuki · 3 years
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Fast and Slow | Hawks x Reader
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Fluff!
Word Count: 1.3k
All the pictures of you and Hawks shared were just blurry after images. The two of you were known as the fastest duo in Japan. Whenever someone mentioned Hawks, they would always talk about you, his only sidekick, as well. Hawks doesn't like sidekicks – rather, he had no use for them. Throughout his hero career he hired and fired multiple sidekicks because none of them could keep up with his speed.
Then you appeared. It was a hot summer day, and all Hawks wanted to do was to hurry up and catch the villain and finish the day off with some ice cream. The villain was fast, he had to admit, but Hawks knew he was faster. He smirked as he glanced back at the heroes who couldn’t keep up. That was when suddenly, something flashed before his eyes.
His eyes widened when he saw the villain spazzing on the ground while you stepped on him with one foot, keeping him against the pavement. He saw sparks of blue electricity flash around you, and he swore for a second your face deformed into a streak of lightning.
"Did you….do that?" he asked. You nodded at him. He couldn’t help but notice how breathtakingly beautiful your eyes were. Your big, round, innocent eyes reminded him of a toddler, and with your blank emotionless expression, he found you adorable. He knew then and there that he had to have you as his sidekick.
You were still a high school third year, interning for another hero during that time, but he quickly offered you a position as his sidekick once you graduate. There was no way you’d turn down the number three hero. Even though you didn’t show it on your face, you were ecstatic.
After graduation, you immediately became his sidekick. Hawks had to admit, you didn’t disappoint as a sidekick. You were lightning itself, whether it was chasing villains or reacting to attacks, you never missed a split second.
However, outside of hero work, you were excruciatingly slow.
"Hey Dove, nice work," he told you when the two of you finished capturing a burglar.
"Thank you, Mr. Hawks." You bowed politely. You weren’t a very expressive person, he learned, and you’re almost always wearing that blank, dazed, almost clueless expression on your face.
"Mr. Hawks?! That makes me sound old, I’m only 22! Just call me Hawks. Puts less of a distance between us," he said as he walked up to you with a grin on his face, physically decreasing the distance between the two of you.
Your brows furrowed lightly as you gave his words some thought. Putting age aside, he technically is your boss. It would be rude to address him without honorifics, but since he insisted, "Okay Hawks."
The corners of his lips tugged upward when his name rolled off your tongue. Your voice was just as enchanting as your eyes. He tilted your chin upward with his index finger, and leaned his face close to yours, eyes half lidded seductively as he tried to lower his tone, and whispered, "Now Dove, why don’t we go back, relax on the couch, watch a movie and eat some chicken to reward ourselves for our…fine work today." Boy does he think he sounded sexy.
"But it’s barely 3 pm," you stated matter-of-factly. "We don’t get off duty until 7."
As your boss, he didn’t hate that part of you, but as a man trying to court you, he really wished you took a hint. From the compliments and the flirty pet names to the lunch and dinner dates, none of them seemed to be getting to you. He honestly started to question what exactly was going through that cute little brain of yours, or if anything went through at all.
In the end, he decided that he should give up on the hints and just ask you out in a straightforward approach. "Goodbye Hawks, have a nice day." It was past 7, and you were going to leave to go home. That was when Hawks pinned you to the wall, preventing you from getting out of the agency. "Hawks?"
"Songbird, will you go out with me?" he asked. He would change up the pet names every day, today was Songbird.
"Go out? Where? To KFC or to Chickenman?" You listed his two places he took you the most often to get chicken.
Hawks slammed his head into the wall beside your face while letting out a loud groan of defeat. As his body pressed against yours, a wave of heat started rushing to your cheeks. To say you didn’t find the bird man attractive would be a total lie, but you naturally had the tendency to take everything literally, and the idea that this handsome, successful young man would be in any way interested in you was absolutely appalling, to the point you never even considered it.
Hawks chuckled softly as he tilted his head and directed his lips to your ears. You could feel his hot breath tickling the inside of your ears and you winced a little at the strange sensation. "Songbird, sometimes I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose or if you really are that slow," he whispered.
"Um, sir, I whatever I did wrong, I swear it wasn’t on purpose," you apologized as the blush on your face deepened. Hawks’ eyes widened. You were weak against physical contact. Before, he’d get a little bit touchy here and there, but he always made sure he gave you enough personal space. Now, he was practically pressed against you, sandwiching you between his chest and the wall.
Finally getting an expression that’s not a blank stare out of your face, Hawks’ lips curled upward victoriously. He took your hand in his, and interlocked your fingers with his. His golden orbs were locked onto your face, taking in your every movement, from the redness of your cheeks, to the way your eyes darted around, and the way you bit your bottom lip. Oh god, he was having too much fun with this.
"Songbird, you can’t be that clueless. Surely you understand what I mean now," he whispered softly in your ear.
"I-….I uh…" Yes, you finally understood. All the subtle hints and the flirty comments now seemed to click. You felt like someone had put your heart on a train; you could practically hear it slamming against the walls of your chest.
Hawks tilted your chin up. This time he made sure to stick his face so close to you that you could feel him breathing over your lips. "So what do you say? Still thinking about KFC?"
"N-….No…." Your voice cracked as you cowered under him.
"No as in you won’t go out with me or no as in you stopped thinking about chicken?" he chuckled.
"I….I uh… I stopped thinking about chicken."
"So you’ll go out with me?"
"That’s not-" That’s not what you meant, but at this point you honestly don’t want to say no. "I mean….. Yes… I will…"
Hawks finally closed the gap between the two of you. He cupped your cheek with one hand while the other stayed intertwined with yours. You closed your eyes as he gently massaged your lips with his.
KACHAK!
The two of you turn your heads to see a man scurry out of the bushes outside the window. Paparazzi. They had been waiting for something like this. In an instant the two of you were out the door. A blue streak passed by the paparazzi, and next thing he knew you were in front of him. He turned around to see Hawks hovering right before him. You took the camera out of his hand and confiscated the SD card. "Nice work Songbird," Hawks winked.
"Thank you Hawks," this time, you wore a subtle smile, and your cheeks dusted in pink.
Later you and Hawks loaded the pictures from the SD card onto his computer, and for the first time, there was a photo of the two of you that wasn't blurry.  
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yakultberry · 3 years
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kfc (kisses for christmas) ; c.sc
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✪ summary: You’re unexpectedly single on Christmas Day, but you don’t want to spend it alone. At least you can count on the cute delivery boy to bring you fried chicken. ✪ pairing: chicken delivery boy!seungcheol x reader ✪ genre: fluffy fluff ✪ word count: 2.1k words  ✪ tags: @yutacrush​ thank you for beta reading for me i would like to marry you
✪ a/n: helllo binu here!! i am very excited to be posting my first fic on yakultberry c: this fic is actually part of @merakiiverse​‘s job au collaboration (will link after posting). i really have a lot of respect for everyone who writes straight up fluff, because ooooof did i struggle way more than i expected while writing this lmao hopefully it turned out okay and y’all can enjoy! <33 
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[chicky delivery boy]: your order is 5 minutes away! 
At the arrival of the text, you scrambled out of your position on the couch and quickly began to clear away the dirty dishes on your coffee table and the used tissues that had accumulated over the course of the day. You weren’t quite sure what ghost of Christmas past possessed you to continue your annual tradition of binging cheesy holiday movies all day, but you supposed it was because you were at a loss for what to do at all. You had spent the last two Christmases with that asshole. It wasn’t like you could call up your friends to hang out with you today; no, they were lucky enough to have nice boyfriends who didn’t break up with them two months before the holidays. And you definitely weren’t going to go out on the town by yourself, only to be forced to watch all the happy couples cuddle close to each other in the cold. 
So here you were, alone in your apartment, waiting on your fried chicken to be delivered.
It seemed to be the one constant in your life amongst the aftermath of your chaotic break up. Whenever you made an order, it would arrive at your doorstep within thirty minutes, always warm and always comforting. Although you wouldn’t quite say that Joy’s Chicken was the best chicken restaurant in the area (the family-owned joint two blocks over was definitely much tastier), it still managed to become your go-to after the delivery person from the family restaurant got lost on their way to your apartment for the third time. That, and once your order had arrived on your doorstep, brought to you by a dimpled, dark-haired delivery boy, you quickly decided that the restaurant had its own charms.
“Coming!” you called out to the gentle knock at the front door, skipping across your living room to reach it. After checking your reflection in the mirror hanging in the hallway, you swung the door open, smiling brightly. “Finally, I’m starving-- what happened to you?” 
“Hello to you too, sweetheart,” the boy said with a chuckle, voice muffled by the scarf wrapped tightly around his face. You reached over to pull down the scarf to reveal that he was smiling back at you, though you did note that his lips were pale and his teeth were chattering. The thick, puffy coat he wore could only do so much when he was covered with a snow from head to toe. You watched as some of it crumbled off of his shoulders when he shuffled to take your food out of an insulator. Today, the box had a cute little bow stuck to the top of it.  “Merry Christmas! This is for you.” 
You took the bag from his hands, but, as usual, you didn’t close the door right away. “Seungcheol, you look like a marshmallow.” 
“Wow, I take it you didn’t get a present for me?” He leaned against your doorframe, a pout now on his lips. “I wish I was a marshmallow. Then I could jump into some hot chocolate and finally feel warm. It’s been snowing non-stop out there since 7PM.” 
At this, you felt a small twinge of guilt for being one of his orders tonight, especially knowing that Seungcheol would often make your deliveries by foot since you didn’t live too far from Joy’s. “Does your shift end soon at least?” 
“Yeah, we’re closing a little earlier today since the boss has Christmas plans! You’re actually my last delivery for tonight.”
“Oh well, if that’s the case,” you said tentatively, stepping to the side. “Would you like to come in for some hot chocolate before you have to head back into the storm? It’s the least I could do since I did forget to get you a present.”
The boy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but his grin remained, albeit a bit amused. Now some would say that inviting some random guy into your apartment just because you didn’t want to be alone on Christmas was probably not the best idea, but Seungcheol was definitely not just some random guy. Every Friday for the past eight or so weeks, Seungcheol had arrived at your doorstep with a box of chicken with your name on it. He probably came by more frequently than your regular friends now that you really thought about it. After the first couple of times he delivered, he decided to introduce himself to you since he thought it was unfair that he already knew your name and you only saw him as the guy that brings your chicken (which wasn’t entirely true-- you saw him as the cute guy that brings you your chicken). 
“Unless you have your own Christmas plans to get to, of course,” you quickly added. Admittedly, your conversations with Seungcheol only ever extended to silly banter, so there was no telling what his life was like beyond the threshold of your doorstep. For all you knew, he could very well have a get together planned with his friends or a dinner with his family. Or a date with a girlfriend. 
“I mean, I was planning on watching Die Hard by myself again, but I think I can be a little late for that,” Seungcheol mused playfully. You couldn’t keep the wide smile from spreading across your lips as you moved back to allow him to step into your apartment for the first time. He took off his shoes and shrugged off his thick coat before following you to your small kitchen. 
“Don’t worry, I won’t keep you too long,” you said, and reached over him to grab two mugs from a cabinet. 
“I mean, you can keep me for as long as you like,” he shrugged, but you were quick to catch the mischievous twinkle in his eye. You suddenly realized that this was the closest you’ve ever stood together and turned away to begin preparing the hot chocolate in the hopes of hiding how flustered you felt. 
“Anyway uh--” you cleared your throat, but it was proving difficult to think up a conversation starter when you could feel Seungcheol so close. You chanced a glance over at him, noting how he was still rubbing his hands together and shuffling in his spot to warm himself up. “Oh no, you must be freezing.”
He shook his head, but you could see how the snow that had clung to his clothes was slowly melting and soaking into the fabric of his hoodie. “I’m fine. Though I’m definitely not as warm as you.” You followed his gaze down to the festive pajama set you had been wearing all day, which was patterned with reindeers and sleighs, and you reached over to shove at his chest lightly. 
“I was doing laundry and this is all I had!” Your voice can barely be heard over the boy’s gleeful snickering. It was now your turn to pout at him. “You know what, it’s actually really bad to stand around in cold, wet clothes. You might get sick. And lucky for you, since I am such a caring person, I have precisely the outfit that will save you from such a fate.”
“Oh no, that’s fine--”
Before he could finish, you had already whisked away to your room and returned with a folded set of pajamas that clearly matched your own. You gave him a cute little smile as you handed it to him. “No, I insist! I’ll even put your wet clothes in the dryer so that you can properly get nice and warm.” At this point, Seungcheol narrowed his eyes at you. “What?”
“You just happened to have couple pajamas at the ready?” Seungcheol hummed. “Seems like you were planning this for a while now, sweetheart.” 
“What, no! I got them on sale last year!” 
“Mm, a likely story,” he said, ducking away just in time to avoid your poke attack. Despite his teasing, he still asked you where the bathroom is, and you nearly let out a long sigh when he’s out of sight. Your heart felt like it was about to burst from your chest, but you weren’t quite sure why. Were you nervous? Scared? If you were honest, everything about Seungcheol put you at ease; plus, nothing about your interactions with him changed other than proximity. So why did you feel so sheepish when he teased and joked around like he always did?
While he was changing, you finished preparing the hot chocolate, topping them off with some whipped cream, and brought your mugs and your box of chicken into the living room. A small window in your apartment showcased the sky outside, which was dark and dotted with heavy sheets of snow, contrasting with your living room’s warm glow from the light of your small Christmas tree. It made you feel perfectly cozy, especially with the hot cup of cocoa in your palms. 
“Ta-dah! How do I look?” Seungcheol announced, walking out to you. The sight of him grinning at you goofily and clad proudly in the matching pajamas only made the fuzzy more prominent until it made your smile just as wide as his. There it was again-- that perplexing heart beat of yours. It accelerated as he came to take a seat beside you on the couch. 
“A lot warmer!” You handed him his hot chocolate. “Here is the promised beverage. Merry Christmas, Seungcheol.” 
“I was hoping to hear something more along the lines of ‘blindingly handsome’,” he sighed out dramatically, taking a sip of his drink. Immediately, his eyes lit up. “But I’ll let it slide this time, because this is delicious.”
A small giggle slipped past your lips as you watched him drink his hot chocolate with gusto, and when he reemerged from behind his mug, you couldn’t hold back a loud snort seeing how his top lip was decorated with a proper mustache of white cream. You nearly fell over from laughing so hard at his confused expression
“What? What is it?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing. Between your bursts of laughter, you managed to point at his lips. He reached up and playfully clenched his jaw when he felt the cream covering his mouth. “Oh, you it’s that funny, huh?” He swiped up some of the remaining whipped cream in his mug onto his finger and reached over to place it on your nose. 
“Hey!” You scrunch your nose. For a moment, the two of you simply looked at each other before bursting into another fit of giggles. “You’re Santa Claus and I’m Rudolph.”
Still chuckling, Seungcheol grabbed a tissue from your coffee table and wiped at his lips, then cleaned off the dollop he had placed on your nose. Your laughter subsided at how such a simple action also felt so intimate. You did your best to avoid his twinkling gaze if only to calm yourself.
 “You know, when I took on the responsibility of warming you up, I wasn’t expecting you to be such a handful,” you admitted jokingly, though some parts of you meant it. Namely your easily excitable heart.
“Oh yeah? Well, I wasn’t expecting you to take so long.” 
You turned to face him once again. “I gave you fresh pajamas and some hot chocolate! You’re still not warmed up?”
“They’re not taking effect fast enough!” he insisted with another of his infamous pouts. 
“Then do you know a faster way?” you asked and almost instantly, Seungcheol expression changes, but this time it’s not a mischievous smile or a childish pout. It’s something softer, gentler. 
“Mm, I might know a quick way to warm up. Do you want me to show you?” he asked. You blinked, gaze meeting with Seungcheol’s eyes as he patiently waited for your reply. Despite the somersaults you felt in your chest, you were now more sure than ever that you didn’t feel nervous. Upon the realization what the feeling really was, your lips easily melted into a soft smile, and you gave him a nod. Without another moment’s hesitation, he leaned over to you and delivered a sweet, chaste kiss on your cheek.
The effect was instantaneous: Seungcheol’s ears were the first to go red as his entire face heated up. “I can’t believe I just did that,” he groaned out, covering his blushing face. “That was so cheesy!” 
“I thought it was cute!” you assured him, but your laughter does nothing to ease his cringing. 
“Don’t look at me for five minutes!” he whined.
“Seungcheol really, it’s okay!” 
“Just eat your chicken or something!”
123 notes · View notes
vydante · 4 years
Text
Restart | 12
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: multiple)
A/N: Missed y'all. I don't think I'm officially off of my hiatus, but I somehow managed to pull a chapter out of my ass after months of radio silence. I really did back myself into a corner with the last chapter, but hey, this is my story and I get to pace it however I want.
Sorry if things are worded weirdly, I'm writing them but they're going through one ear and out the other when it comes to comprehending what I actually wrote. No one will remember what happened, but that's okay. God, I really need a beta-reader... Anyways. Love y'all. XOXO.
Also, sorry if any of the formattings seems off. HTML doesn't really translate well over certain sites. (Tumblr, Quotev, Wattpad, and AO3 are now my main places for posting my works. Anywhere else, that's not me nor was it permitted by me.)
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If you want a recap: You're in the process of jumpstarting Project Renaissance after realizing that you've just been doing basically nothing ever since you woke up in your old body. You've also taken to making video logs to report down your progress, and in the last chapter (that was in the POV of multiple video logs), it ended on a cliffhanger with Barnes being discovered and moved to a safe house.
This chapter takes place roughly after the last one. 
If you're currently binge reading this story, this recap is only because last chapter was updated... Roughly more than 7 months before this chapter. So. Yeah. :D
Oh, and let's pretend that either A. Barnes doesn't have a tracking chip in his arm OR B. he did, but you got it out during the whole rescue-escapade. That's my bad, I straight up forgot about that possibility until I was like, close to 4000 words deep into this chapter. Now we're at roughly 8k+... Hehe. Whoops.
_______
You're not gonna call Barnes, Bucky.
There's a personal touch to the nickname that bothers you. How awful it sounds in your ears, to call the former husk of a man a name he no longer recognizes. There's history to that name, both on writing and in memory, though only in sparsity. Plus, it'll be difficult for you to associate Bucky to Barnes. A man with an identity to a man without.
So after the whole debacle of getting him out of the mini-Hulk playbox and into decent dry clothing, when he asks what his name is, you quietly debated to yourself what to tell him.
"... Your name is James Buchanan Barnes," you'd eventually reply.
He doesn't comment on the resignation in your tone, but you're confident that he certainly noticed it- surely, the ticks of being the Winter Soldier was still there, no matter how disoriented he must be. But whether courtesy was something that he hadn't forgotten whilst his brain was refried over and over like leftover KFC wings or he was simply too exhausted to ask, you didn't care.
Granted, for a man who should have a lot of questions on his mind, he's definitely proven himself to be a man of very few words.
An hour goes by, and in the midst of you trying your best to build a solid standing between the two of you, he's said so few words that you could probably count all of them on both of your hands.
If it weren't for the nods of affirmation, you'd think that his averted gaze from you would have meant that he wasn't paying attention at all, but honestly, you knew better than to judge him for that if he actually wasn't actually listening in the first place.
Hell, he could tear up the walls to the high heavens and you still wouldn't hold him against it, so you were just thankful that he was so docile, for someone who could snap your neck if he felt so inclined.
Though, as it turns out confusion and disorientation wasn't the actual reason why he was being so docile, you belatedly realize as you're stood in front of a blank-faced Barnes. You're in the middle of trying to give him a basic tour around the house when he quietly interrupted your monologuing.
"Mission parameters," you echoed his words, though mainly to yourself. He nods, and for once meets your eyes. There's neither confidence nor surrender in his eyes, and that makes your stomach churn. Chances are, he probably saw nothing wrong with asking such a thing.
"You want me to give you- mission parameters. Like- like your handlers would?" You laughed incredulously, but the humor was replaced with subdued hysterical horror.
You were aware of what they were. Aware of the types of hunts his Handlers- bastards- would sick him out on. Aware of what he did without a second thought. You saw those files, if only briefly. That was more than enough for you to see the type of expectations that came alongside "mission parameters".
He nods as if you were stating the obvious.
God.
You opened and closed your mouth, and for a split second, once you got past the horror of being asked to tell him what to do, a subtle realization crawled up your spine. In the midst of your impromptu introduction and briefing, you never really made a distinction as to what role you were supposed to play in all of this.
So it shouldn't be a surprise for Barnes to assume that you're his new- what? Handler? Caretaker? After all, as far as you can assume, that's probably all he knows; all he was conditioned to grow accustomed to, to expect his every move to be dictated by some outsider with no care to the wants or needs that Barnes has.
(Hell, if you were to make a reach right now, maybe Barnes thinks he doesn't have wants or needs. That he shouldn't.)
(In the background, a part of you simmer in silence.)
With your jaw clenched, you make an effort to make your voice as even as can be when you ask him, "You don't need mission parameters, Barnes. You're your own free man. You can- can make decisions on your own. You don't need me to tell you what you need to do."
Pray as you might, there's something about realizing that you said the wrong thing right after saying said words that make you wonder what you did to anger the higher powers that be to put yourself in the situation you're in right now.
Barnes doesn't say anything, but his eyes says it all. Confusion. Realization. Grief. Detachment. His metal hand clenches, and you're man enough to admit that it made your heart stutter in fear.
"I...", he mutters, "... don't understand."
You swallowed.
This...
This is gonna be tough.
_______
It's difficult to explain what self-autonomy and freedom meant to a man who is only capable of remembering being chained and held on a leash like a rabid dog.
Thankfully, it was your winter break, so you had a manageable excuse for being away from "home" for a few days, but you only had so long to try and establish to Barnes that you're not going to be able to be there with him as often as you are now (and even then, the time frame was too small to even make any sense of attachment).
You knew for sure you couldn't always be there for Barnes, so one thing was certain: he had to meet DAHLIA. And thankfully, since the whole safe house was yours, not even your father knew that DAHLIA, your own A.I., would be uploaded into the houses' built-in hardware.
(While the hardware was built with the intention of housing J.A.R.V.I.S. there as a standard, he ended up "moving out" the moment that the house became yours. Something about "not intruding on a teenager's privacy", but you're more than thankful for Tony's afterthought, even if you did end up taking slight advantage of his consideration.)
And surprisingly enough, Barnes wasn't really bothered by the concept of DAHLIA as much as you had initially expected. Of course, he didn't really talk to her, but it wasn't like he talked much in the first place.
(On a side note, it looks like DAHLIA seems to like the house, all things considered... So there's that.)
(The original DAHLIA was never installed here, instead she ended up "living" in a retirement house of sorts in a wooded area of New York. She never said anything about the house, so it's... Kind of endearing, to see that she actually might prefer this house instead. And mildly insulting, considering you personally decorated the other house.)
You ended up spending nearly the whole night trying to establish even the most basic of guidelines: use the bathroom whenever he needed to (you initially said phrased it as "wanted", but he promptly cut you off saying "The Asset does not have wants," which, rude, but also sad); whatever is in the kitchen is available for him to eat whenever, where ever; basic hygiene; and the most important one- if he had any questions, his first source would be you. And on the off-chance that you're not available, DAHLIA is always online and ready to help.
He gave a tentative nod, but you're somehow not confident that he might have interpreted it wrong. You're hoping he doesn't do anything to prove you right.
"Alright. So. Any questions?"
He stares at you for a beat too long before shaking his head.
He's still giving non-verbal answers for the most part, but it's better than nothing. You internally sighed and motioned him to follow you deeper into the safe house.
Considering that it was already pretty late by the time you managed to beat those guidelines into his head (maybe that should be worded better, but you never claimed to be a lyricist; it is what it is), he might be just as tired as you are from how long the day has been.
(Granted, this dude has been "asleep" for who knows how long, but it's the thought that counts.)
"You know where I'm taking you to?" you asked, not really expecting an answer from him.
"No," he responds from behind you. Color you surprised.
You turned into the hallway and stepped up to an unassuming door. You opened it to reveal an equally unassuming bedroom. Muted colors, modern design; it reeked Pepper's doing, knowing that Tony isn't as decoratively-inclined as she is.
Hah, bet she didn't expect that instead of housing you or your dad, it'll go to a super-solder that wasn't Steve instead.
(Not that Steve would ever have a reason to step foot in here, but in this line of work, you'd be stupid to be 100% sure about something.)
You motioned him to come into the room and tilted your head to the bed.
"This is your bedroom, pretty much where you'll be sleeping. There's a bathroom right over there," you motioned to the door adjacent to the entrance door, "and I'll be in the room right next to yours."
Barnes takes a second to process it all, and with a quick scan of the room with calculating eyes, he nods. You absentmindedly scratched the back of your neck.
"I mean, there's plenty of rooms here so if you don't like this one, just let me know and we'll probably move you to another room-" you rambled, secretly trying to get a move on so you'd finally get some shut-eye.
(What? You're not perfect, sleep is heavily slept on in this day and age. Hah.)
(God, you're definitely going to hell.)
"-and you know how to use a toilet, right?"
The raised eyebrow pointed at you definitely proves that that was a pretty stupid question, but hey, you can't take any chances. You shrugged, a tired smirk threatening to form on your lips.
"Well then. Can I leave it to you to settle down for the night, or...?" you left it open-ended.
He didn't say anything in response, only stared at the bed in front of him. There was a pregnant pause, but he nodded at you. There was a strange tilt to his eyes, but you didn't bother to think further into it as you were just thankful that you could finally rest.
"Well then, good night Barnes. I'll come by tomorrow morning and we'll continue to, er," you thought about it, "work, on your situation."
You made a swift exit out of his room and immediately into "your" room, which was literally right next to his. You immediately discarded your clothes and with a brisk shower and teeth brushing, you promptly dropped straight onto the bed with an audible grunt, wet hair soaking straight into the pillow.
Pulling the plush duvet to cover your body, you reached for your phone to check for any messages you might have gotten.
(3 from Tony; he asked where you were. You told him that you're staying at a safe house and that you needed a small break. It wasn't wrong, but definitely an omission of truth. A few days would be fine, right?)
(2 from Rhodey; it's a picture of a Goodwill's, and there's a silhouette in a nearby window of some guy. "This you?" he asks. "No ❤️," you sent back.)
(63 is from the group chat that the Avengers are in- ah, make that 64 and counting. It's just a bunch of nonsense from what you can gather, but you briefly scrolled through it anyways.)
Turning your phone off, you smushed your face into the pillow and sighed, a terrible knot forming at the pit of your stomach. With an open ear, you tried to hear any noise that could come from Barnes' room, but considering that the walls were reinforced and he was already quiet as it is, all you could hear was the AC running in the background.
"DAHLIA," you huffed, eyes drooping, "keep an eye on him, wake me up if anything happens."
"Got it," her voice echoes from the ceiling speakers.
You quietly tucked yourself in bed. As the exhaustion finally started settling in your body, the last thought that lingered in your head was "Man, I hope nothing bad happens tomorrow," before you drifted right off to dreamless slumber.
_______
The next day was, to say the least, a little disconcerting, but a bigger improvement to be sure.
Right after waking up, you begrudgingly put on some daytime appropriate clothes and stepped out into the hallway. You knocked on the door that was right next to yours, and gingerly opened it when you didn't hear much of a response.
"Good morning," you tentatively greeted. Barnes was sitting at the foot of the bed when you knocked on his door. He mumbled back a greeting and stands up to your eye level.
His clothes are still the same from last night, and judging by the clean state of his bed, he either woke up earlier than you expected or he was sat like that the whole night.
You're not too keen on finding out which was the case, but you had to.
"Sleep well?"
You stepped out of the doorway and motioned him to follow you. Briefly glancing down at your phone to see just a few messages waiting for you, you opted to ignore them for now.
"I slept."
He quietly stated from behind you. He avoided saying if he slept well or not, but at least the damn Terminator slept. You mentally deflated a little; the bar was set so low for him, you're not too sure who it's more insulting to- you or him.
(Of course, it's to him, that shouldn't be a question. Your feelings don't matter.)
"We're gonna have to wing this a little, but uh, here's the general gist of what's gonna happen."
Stepping into the kitchen, you're taken aback to last night as he tentatively stands across from you from the kitchen island. Really, you'd opt to go to the living room, but you both radiate too much nervous energy to really sit.
You opened the refrigerator and sighed when all that greeted you was water and non-perishables. Right. You just got here, it's not like there's gonna be freshly stocked food in here 24/7.
"DAHLIA, order some fresh food and get it delivered today. Charge it on my debit," you mumbled quietly.
DAHLIA doesn't say anything, but the refrigerator lights flicker a familiar green hue that keys you in that she heard you. You raised an impressed eyebrow; what an unnecessary feature for a refrigerator to have. You closed the door and turned around to face Barnes.
"I'm here to serve as, say, a guide for," you gestured to him, "your... rehabilitation, of sorts."
"For now, I can't really offer any... Professional help, on a technical level. I'm not- that's not my area of expertise. I'm an engineer at heart," actually, you really liked other things more than being an engineer, but your fate of becoming the CEO of SI was sealed the moment you decided to live with your dad, "so we're going to have to make a compromise on that."
You shook your head.
"If you were anyone else, I'd point you to a shrink," Barnes gives you a confused stare.
"Therapist," you clarified. He nods.
"But quite frankly," Zemo's face flashes in your memory, "I don't trust anyone to properly... Well, I don't trust anyone when it comes to the mental health of you, and the Avengers too, of course."
Pausing mid-rant, you raised an eyebrow at him.
"You... do know who the Avengers are, right?"
He nods and begins to rattle off a pre-scripted monologue. His eyes are blank as he started speaking.
"A group of top priority, compromised of highly skilled individuals, enhanced or otherwise specified. Threat priority ranges from 5 to 9. As of now, 6 active-duty members and 1 reserve member. The Asset is to not engage under any circumstance and reveal-"
"Alright alright, I get it- that's," you're a little offended that you're considered a "reserve member", but that's not technically wrong, "That's a lot to unpack there, but yeah. You- whew, you definitely know who the- we are."
(You've gotten into the habit of distancing yourself from the Avengers the moment that you had become CEO. You're still working on that, but the word "we" still feels wrong on your tongue.)
There's a little more life that came back to Barnes' eyes after you had snapped him out of it, and it's a bit surreal knowing that Barnes just kinda... runs on autopilot when prompted. The image of Barnes being strapped down in a chair and forced to learn and recite those kinds of things by heart is both horrifying and a little funny.
(Do you think they had a set curriculum he had to learn by?)
"So yeah. The Avengers gotta be careful when lookin' for shrinks, and so do you. There's just too many factors that go into gettin' a personal therapist. So for now," you shrugged, "you're stuck with me."
"What are they?"
"Hm?"
"The factors."
You shrugged.
"Well, for starters, you're- you were, HYDRA's prisoner," the muscle around his jaw visibly clenches when you mentioned HYDRA, but you powered through, "so they'll definitely be interested in getting their fight dog back. They're good at blending in and good at getting their musty little fingers into every nook and cranny. I wouldn't put it past them to have one of their agents go undercover as a therapist for hire. So that's one factor: trying to discern who is and isn't HYDRA."
You raised a finger.
"Then there's the fact that because you're such a... shall we say, top priority, er, asset," that word runs bitter on your tongue, "even if your shrink isn't HYDRA, they'll definitely be targeted by HYDRA if it ever came to light that they have a direct link to you. So there's reason number two: loose ends, and the risks that come with it."
You raised another finger. By now, Barnes has a hard but contemplative curl to his lips.
"And then not to mention how unique your case it. Barnes, you've been a POW for decades. Your brain- no offense buddy, but from what I can tell, it's been fried to hell and back. I don't even have to do any fancy brain scans to know. And that's not even including all the other stuff they probably did to you, only God knows."
You shook your head.
"There's too much at risk for you to get proper therapy right now. But. It's not impossible."
You think back to Shuri, and how she and the other Wakandan scientists were successful in both removing the trigger words and rehabilitating Barnes.
Well, you're not sure about the last part, since you never interacted with the Barnes of your time, but you'd assume that they did help with his subsequent mental health. You wouldn't really put it past them- T'Challa was a nice guy, from your limited interactions with him way into the future, and Shuri was buzzing with ideas and energy. If T'Challa's sympathy for Barnes wasn't enough, then Shuri's crave to help and experiment would supplement the balance plenty. Vice versa, too.
So yeah, future-Barnes' mental health was most likely addressed during his time in Wakanda. And it was almost guaranteed to have been a success.
So you're still gonna hold a torch for the possibility that Barnes' can come out of this as a relatively well-adjusted guy.
Not to mention B.A.R.F. As far as you know, the R&D team assigned to that was still progressing smoothly, but the only downside to that was that it wasn't going to be until a few more years before it's "perfected".
You were never really involved in any way with B.A.R.F. since you were both prepping for SI and finishing college. Your dad was definitely more involved in it than you were, but it's not like you could ask him to pull a few year's worths of experimentation and knowledge out of his ass and exponentially boost the rate of B.A.R.F.'s progress, so.
Helen Cho suddenly sprang to mind, but you quickly threw away that thought. Your- well, Barnes'- issue was neurological, Cho was all about cell regeneration and is a geneticist. So unless somehow the issue crosses over with Cho's line of work, she wasn't a possibility either. There was also Strange, but as far as you've heard the man was pretty... abrasive, even as a wizard. Hard to get a hold of, and very... Hard-headed.
Well, all of that was second hand since it came from Tony, but still. Maybe you could pull Tony in for some clout, but that'll just make him suspicious. God, maybe you shouldn't have kept the whole "I'm actually from the future" spiel a secret, otherwise you wouldn't have to be doing all this crap alone.
Oh well. In for a penny, out for a pound.
You sighed, already feeling the dull thump against your skull starting to form.
"So what now?" Barnes asks. He's less tentative than he was last night, but still soft-spoken when he talks.
"Well, you're stuck with me, bud. I'll do my best to get you prepped for the actual rehabilitation, but honestly, that might take a little longer than you'd expect. So, we'll just- well."
You eyed the outfit he was donning, which was literally your clothes- so it was a few sizes too small for him. He doesn't really seem bothered by it, and if it weren't for the fact that he's sort of proved himself to be neglectful of voicing his own preferences, you'd be a little more inclined to appreciate the view of one very, very beefy super-soldier.
But alas.
Life never really works in your favor, so.
"We'll need to get a few essential things out of the way. Food is already on its way, I assume you aren't allergic to anything?"
He pauses, and there goes that familiar glaze forming over his eyes. You sigh, knowing that he was probably searching through his mental "data-bases" for any allergies, but thankfully it's not long as he blinks back into attention.
"None."
"Yeah, I could'a figured, what with your super-soldier serum."
(You're pretty sure that also makes him immune to cancer, but maybe that's just you glorifying it.)
"So: the food situation is cleared. Now, we need to get you some new clothes because, uh, those don't look very comfortable."
"Comfort does not matter. I am adequately dressed."
You snorted. Maybe it's better that you don't tell Barnes that he's wearing a Sharknado tee and some sweats that have "Eat this!" printed on his behind.
(And maybe it's better that you didn't remember that yes, these are indeed still your clothes.)
"Comfort does matter, my guy. DAHLIA, take some quick measurements."
The kitchen light dims and brightens, shining lime green into the kitchen. It lingers and turns back into that white-blue that sometimes makes your eyes burn when you've been up for too late into the night.
"Seargent Barnes' measurements are now on file. You two want to see the available catalog?"
Right where the kitchen island was, a panel opens up to reveal a hologram of a bunch of articles of clothing, all of which has been adjusted to Barnes' size- or an approximate at least, since there's some that's labeled X or XL.
"Barnes? You got anything you want to do right now or...?"
You gestured to the hologram in front of you.
His face contorts a little, not too noticeable at a quick glance. He doesn't look uncomfortable per se, but judging by the downwards curl of his lips, he's definitely not excited to see the hologram.
You flicked your wrist and it disappeared just as quick as it appeared. Strangely enough, his expression doesn't loosen up as his eyes flicker upwards to yours.
"Hey, that's okay. If it's the hologram, that's no biggie, we'll just move over to the, uh, TV in the next room over. C'mon."
You jerked your head and motioned him to follow you. His face laxes and he walks behind you without a word.
_______
You two ended up getting a lot done all things considered.
Barnes seemed pretty bothered by how many clothing choices there are, but when you asked if he wanted you to just curate a list for him, he easily relented. He was hovering over you the whole time, but you weren't too bothered by it as you were too busy browsing for him.
You went from site to site searching for clothes that screamed "The Winter Soldier", but all that was coming up was clothes in fifty shades of black and with no pizzaz. You did pass by a few Avengers-related merch (especially yours), but he said nothing when you added two or three into your cart, so he probably doesn't care. You did show him a lot of clothes that you thought would fit him, and he nodded to pretty much all of them.
By the time you were done looking for clothes, the doorbell had rung.
("That was quick," you reminisced. DAHLIA was quick to respond.
"It came from a nearby Walmart."
"Huh.")
Barnes' head jerked as his eyes were trained on the entrance door. You patted his arm, and his eyes glance at you.
"Relax, it's just the food. DAHLIA ordered some groceries earlier."
You stood up to go answer the door, and Barnes followed suit. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he doesn't really seem like he's gonna back down anytime soon.
"You know... You can follow behind, but you're gonna have to be in the shadows or something 'cuz, you know... Just- if someone's still at the door, don't let them see you okay?"
He nods, almost mechanically so, and you turned around and walked to the entrance door.
Opening the door, you were greeted with a few big boxes. You raised an eyebrow and glanced out through the door; there are no cars nearby, and DAHLIA whispers in your ear that the clearing's safe- not a single life signature anywhere.
"Barnes, the coast's clear," you called out, already reaching down to grab one of the boxes. You grunt, adjusting your grip before you lifted and turned around.
Barnes, having already popped out of whatever dark corner he was in, is already a few feet behind you.
"Hey, you don't mind helping me bring in those boxes, will you?"
You were already walking past him, but you barely caught the briefest flash of furrowed eyebrows before you saw him walk over to the door. You mentally shrugged, but placed the box in the kitchen and went back over to the door to get the other one.
By the time you were done setting down the box, Barnes had already closed the door and was standing under the arch connecting the kitchen to the main hallway.
You motioned him over, and he complied.
"What is inside?"
You're almost proud that you didn't jump. He doesn't talk much, but when he does it always startles you.
"Groceries, but I don't know what specifically. DAHLIA chose all of it. And by the looks of it, she chose a lot. So. You're gonna help me unpack and we'll probably- well, I'll probably make some food. You can help if you want."
Your back was turned to him, and you started unloading the boxes and their contents. Barnes doesn't move for a hot moment, but he squats down next to you and starts unwrapping the smaller boxes that were inside it.
"You don't mind if I put on some music, right?"
You glanced at him.
"I... don't. Mind," he mumbles, tentatively glancing back at you. You gave him a brief thumbs up and turned your attention back to
"DAHLIA, play something chill. Low volume."
_______
Pretty much, the whole day consisted of unpacking all of the groceries that had been delivered. You ended up pausing, having gotten tired of being awake without food in your stomach, and made some food for the two of you.
You tried conversing with him, trying to get him to at least feel more comfortable, and it... kinda worked. There are a few touchy subjects that he doesn't really seem to like talking about (he doesn't really vocalize his discomfort, but his flinches, no matter how minute they were, spoke louder than words). HYDRA, obviously. Anything revolving the Avengers put him off as well, among other things.
Really, most of the eating consisted of small talk and eating noises, but at least some of the tension in his shoulders had lessened by the time that you two needed to get back to unpacking. Hell, by the time that was done, Barnes' clothes had arrived.
(Oh, the benefits of being insanely rich. Say it with me kids: Thank you, Tony!)
You're usually a little apprehensive about buying clothes online, but color you surprised when not only did all of them fit; Barnes didn't have a single problem with any of them.
"You like 'em?"
You whistled when Barnes came out of his bathroom, now back in your clothes that you had given him originally. He tried all of them on, and you ended up buying him so many clothes that a lot of time had passed by the time he was done. You just sat on his bed, slowly collecting all of the clothes and ripping off the tags, damned if he didn't like one of them; you'll just take it instead.
"They're adequate," he nodded. In his hand were the folded clothes (A camo tee and dark sweatpants), and he set them onto his bed with the other folded clothes.
"Did any of 'em uncomfortable? Too tight, any of the fabric feels wrong...?"
You left the question open-ended as you helped him dump it into a laundry bin. He doesn't respond right away as if he didn't hear you. His eyes flicker over to yours.
"... No. They- I..." the muscle under his eye spasms, "I liked them..."
You grinned, "Glad to hear that, guess we got lucky that none of these was a dud, huh?"
The ghost of a smile that was on his lips appeared briefly, but it was gone just as fast as it had appeared.
Really, that had basically been the peak of the day before things had started to mellow out a little bit. But that was okay, you took whatever it was that Barnes gave, and if it was just the smallest smile you've ever seen on a man, then so be it.
Afterward, the day somehow managed to blend together and pass along like an exhale. Not much happened, since you couldn't really- well, offer anything that could scientifically and medically help him. So you opted to just- try to get him up to date as much as possible.
Honestly, by the time that you had gotten through the first three decades (starting when he was born), it was already pretty late into the night.
(He had a lot of questions, and you really didn't blame him. Hell, most of the more personal information really came from DAHLIA, because as much as you sympathized with the man, you really didn't care to learn about his whole entire biography.
But, at least you answered most of the history related questions. If you had to go through a few history college classes back when you were in college, then you'll be damned if you didn't at least make an effort to learn and internalize them.)
Barnes didn't really show any signs of exhaustion if the casual leg bouncing wasn't enough, but you sure were pooped.
(What? Unlike your dad (and most of the Avengers) you actually had a normal internal clock. For the most part, anyway.)
"Well, as much as I liked talking about prehistoric times," you sounded sarcastic, but you actually did like it, "I gotta sleep, I don't run on super-soldier energy like you do bub."
You stood up, stretched, and saw that Barnes was now standing up as well.
"Should I...?"
Raising an eyebrow, you huffed in good nature, "Go to sleep? Yeah, probably. We're not done with the History101 crash course, and we'll probably be talking about other things tomorrow as well," especially about the fact that you're not gonna be at the safe house often soon, "so we both need the energy for that. So, go clean up and get some Z's, yeah?"
"Oh."
He looked a little lost but followed you back into your shared hallway. Stopping in your doorway, you turned your head to glance at Barnes.
"Good night, Barnes," you nodded, not waiting for a response as you headed into your room. It was quiet and almost inaudible, but you still heard it with your ears before you had closed the door shut.
"... Good night."
You stood in your room, a sudden wave of both exhaustion and dread flooding your body. You shook it off though; it was just the nervous jitters hitting you at an inopportune time.
But really, you trusted your guts almost as much as you trusted Tony.
So as you brushed your teeth and did your business in the bathroom, you tried to quell the anxiety that was building up in your chest.
"DAHLIA, keep an eye on him."
"Gotcha, doll."
You sighed, dropped onto your bed, and hoped that whatever it was that might happen, you'd be prepared for it.
_______
And lo and behold, it didn't even have to be the next morning before shit all hit the fan when DAHLIA wakes you up in the middle of the night (3 A.M., to be specific).
"-oll, wake up! Barnes is having a panic attack!"
It takes half a second to process the fear in DAHLIA's voice. It takes another to process her words.
Fuck.
Scrambling immediately out the bed, you thanked whatever higher being there is that you were sleeping with at least some sweatpants on as you booked it straight to your door and right through Barnes'.
(Maybe you should have joined the football team, because that would have been one wicked tackle. Ha, yeah right, you know nothing about football.)
The lights were on, most likely DAHLIA's doing, and his bedsheets were clearly mussed up. He's nowhere to be seen, so your eyes jump to the joined bathroom door, and lo and behold, there was light bleeding through the cracks.
You quickly approached the door and opened it, throwing away the worry that he might have been absolutely naked.
The good news was that he wasn't nude.
The bad news was that he was hunched over on the ground, right in front of the bathroom counter, and he's gripping his head so tightly you would have thought his skull would have caved in.
Terror shoots down your spine like a lightning bolt, and you immediately rushed to the curled over Barnes, adrenaline rushing through you as a million thoughts ran through your head.
"Barnes!"
He doesn't appear to hear you, groaning and panting as he further curled in on himself. His muscles spasm, hard, and you're at a loss at what to do. He's sickly pale, and the sheen on his skin makes you want to vomit. His panting is shallow, and if you weren't sure if the glint that shone in your eyes was the reflection off of the marble floors or a puddle of saliva coming from Barnes.
You're not sure if touching him right now is a good thing, but you'll be damned if he wasn't your responsibility now. You reach out to him, wrapping one arm around his hunched back and the other trying to pry at his wrists.
(Would you have touched him, if you didn't have the reassurance that DAHLIA has your back?)
(Shut up.)
Maybe you were tensing up for him to go all "Winter Soldier" mode on you, but he's the one that tenses, even more, when you touched him. Thankfully, he doesn't resist your pull as his arm is limp the moment you tried to pull it back, but it doesn't change the fact that he's shaking, badly, and your mind is frozen in limbo.
"DAHLIA, what-"
You're at a loss for words, but DAHLIA, sweet DAHLIA already knows what you were about to ask.
"Sergeant Barnes was displaying elevated levels of anxiety, however, it did not seem to warrant any mentions. I thought-"
She cuts herself off, almost as if she was worried that she had made a wrong call. You swallowed, knowing that despite being a baby A.I., she's never done wrong by you- both in the future and now.
"You thought what?"
You try to rub Barnes' back as if he was a dog that had needed soothing. He groans, but you're not sure if you should interpret that as a hurt groan or a relieved one. You paused and moved your hand away, hovering it just inches away from his back, and his breath hitches.
Your hand dropped onto his back once again, and you could feel the muscles on his muscles spasm a little; his whimpers aren't as loud and painful (though, they're still more than worrying).
So, on the very small bright side, back rubs don't seem to be hurting him either. It's a small win, but a win for sure.
"You- my visuals were clear in the conclusion that you saw it. His discomfort. Your body language and expression acknowledged it but you refrained from addressing it. I- acted under the assumption that it was all under control..."
Something in your mind pauses for a pregnant second before your eyes widened.
"What?"
DAHLIA doesn't even get the chance to reply as Barnes jerks his hands away from yours and pulls at his scalp again. You lurched forward.
"Hey! No!"
You bit back a growl as you grabbed his wrists once again. You yank them back down to his sides as his body jolts, a sob ripping through him. You placed a hand on his chest and tried to boost him back up so he'll have his back against the bathtub that's behind him.
He offers little to no resistance as his back makes contact with the bathtub, but he's slumped into himself. He pulls his knees forward and curls his head into them. For a super-soldier, it's almost cute how hard he's trying to take up as little space as possible if it weren't for the fact that your heart was absolutely breaking at the sight of him.
"Oh, Barnes..."
In shuddered breaths, he mumbles something incoherent.
"...-an't, I- I- I-.... -can't..."
He shakes his head, jolting as if someone had shocked him. You rubbed his arm, glancing down at what you can now confirm to be a puddle of saliva, and then over to the trash can right next to the toilet. You're not too sure if you should get it just in case he decides to vomit, but you're ready to lunge for it the moment Barnes shows any signs of gagging.
"DAHLIA," you spoke at a lower volume, "what- when was he, um, uncomfortable."
"Two nights ago, roughly 22:00, when you told Sargeant Barnes that he was his own free man. Yesterday morning, 08:00, when you asked if he wanted to do anything prior to browsing the available clothing catalog. Right after, he was also discomforted by the catalog, before you offered to buy clothes for him. At-"
"That's- that's enough," you breathlessly muttered. DAHLIA doesn't say anything else, but the air has suddenly become heavier than you remembered.
Your head was almost dizzy with not only how many instances Barnes had been anxious in such a short time, but also at how you remembered each and every instance with startling clarity.
Barnes was anxious at the idea of freedom, but you put it off and opted to just give him a nickel tour of the house.
Barnes was anxious when you asked if he wanted to do anything before looking at clothes, but looked too relieved when you brushed over it.
Barnes was anxious at the idea of shopping for fucking clothes but was okay after you took over for him.
The taste of stomach acid burned your tongue, as yesterday's dinner threaten to rise at the implication of all of this.
"DAHLIA," you mumbled, "the- the rest of those instances- do they..."
You trained your eyes on Barnes.
"Do they all- follow the same... The same- pattern?"
DAHLIA was always in tune with you, even after the time jump.
"... Yes," she lamented.
"God..."
Now, you're not sure who that trash can would be really for; you or Barnes.
"Barnes..."
You murmured quietly. He flinches, and his shaking hasn't gotten any better.
"What- what was it? Was it- was it all too much? God, I'm so sorry, it probably was, wasn't it? I should have- fuck, I should have taken it more slowly, I-"
Barnes shakes his head, stopping you in your rambling. You blinked rapidly.
"Then- was it..." you paused, "... Was it the choices?"
It's almost expected that he doesn't answer you straight away, but he nodded anyway.
"I... It was- it was too much- I couldn't- I don't know- I-"
His breath shuddered with each word as if it hurt him to just even speak right now. You shushed him, ignoring the intrusive thought that it was akin to shushing an animal.
"Hey, hey, it's- it's okay. You'll be okay."
It's not much, what you're saying to him, and it's no surprise that they didn't do much anyway.
Honestly, you didn't know what to say at this point. There didn't even seem to be any phrasing in the known English language that would be able to comfort a man with as much baggage on his shoulders as Barnes, and briefly, just briefly, you wished that you were literally anywhere in the world, but here.
You tried thinking about anything that came from your (albeit limited) interactions with him between the past days that would help ground him, before something jolts you from deep within.
("What are my mission parameters," Barnes asked from behind you.
You paused.
"Mission parameters?")
You didn't even realize that you had said that out loud, but Barnes had tensed up even more before you could even take it back. He held his breath, audibly swallowing.
("You don't need mission parameters, Barnes. You're your own free man. You can- can make decisions on your own. You don't need me to tell you what you need to do.")
("I... Don't understand...")
You spoke on impulse.
"You... You need them, don't you? Mission parameters."
Immediately, you regretted even speaking up just as those words left your mouth.
While every fiber in your being hoped that it wasn't true, there was a small inkling in your head that already knew the answer to your question. It was the only thing that was barely even logical enough to make sense.
His apprehension of making a choice.
How uncomfortable in his own skin he always appeared, despite it even being just a few days.
How relieved he always looks, when the choice was already made for him.
His body tenses underneath your hand, but it's the slight bob of his head that makes your stomach drop. You thought- what a fool you were- you thought he'd be okay without being ordered around, but that was nothing but wishful thinking.
(What was the saying? It's hard to teach an old dog a new trick, was it?)
(Yeah.)
Looking at how only a few days of what you had originally thought was Barnes' newfound freedom turned out to be much more of a nightmare for Barnes, it might just be better for the both of you to push aside your comfortability and start making an honest-to-God investment into Barnes' recovery, even if that means that you had to take a step backward.
A very, very risky step backward.
It was a shot in the dark, but it was the only thing that you could place your bets on for now.
You just hoped that your aim wouldn't fail you now.
"Okay, well... How about this, Barnes, here's your main- your main mission, okay? Become a free man. Hey, no, look at me," you swiveled his head so he could look at you. His eyes were panicked, crazed, and irredeemably sad, but you had to make sure nothing crossed through your face so he'd know that everything will be okay. Your grip on both sides of his face was firm as you pleaded with him.
"Your only 'mission' right now? Breathe," ironically, his breath hitched, "If not for your own sake, then for mine."
You swallowed, heart stuttering as you looked into his glassy eyes.
"Please," you let your desperate prayer lingered in the air.
Maybe it was being given a task to accomplish after days of trying to figure out what to do with his supposed new "freedom", or it was how non-labor intensive and just... simple, his new mission parameter was, but it was almost instantaneous how all of the tension in his body dissipated into thin air.
Witnessing the moment of mercy upon grief through Barnes, no matter how brief or temporary it may be, was almost cathartic.
Almost.
(Perhaps you shouldn't be looking for absolution vicariously. But you were never really a good person, were you?)
_______
A/N: I've read a lot of WinterIron fics. While I have read a lot of interpretations about how Barnes would have reacted when he was freshly freed from HYDRA, this is how I choose to interpret it- one that would best fit the story for now. Next chapter, since I couldn't fit it in this chapter, is a special, but it is very much important and related to the story, and Barnes as a character. If you're familiar with some WinterIron tropes, this won't be too foreign of an idea. Not too sure about other ships/ stories, but. Ah, I'm rambling. Anyways, see you next year lol.
_______
Masterlist 
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Tagged: @unsolvetheheckoutofit @tonystanktheirondad @ludwigvonbaethoven @rspctot7 (if you’re not @/ fabledxmystery, so sorry for the mistag! LMK if it’s not you) @tolkoskott @klanceiscannon14 @deos-life (grr it won’t let me tag you) @kp1183 (kperla1183) @xyuriko-akamine (akabaneyuriko) @kettnerjanea​ @soldier-42 @daybreakmistakes @spnfanboy777 @crash-zite @jm-cy
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purplesurveys · 2 years
Text
1281
survey by chasingghosts
Who?
Who was the last person you had an intelligent debate with? Not so sure - maybe Angela and Reena. Our group chat will occasionally veer towards serious topics.
Who was the last person who cooked something for you? Dad, I believe; but I can also hear my mom preparing breakfast downstairs so she will be the next last person haha.
Who was the last person who you heard singing? Other than me, my co-worker Dev’s sibling when we had our weekly ~fade-out-slash-bonding call with the rest of the team last Friday. She had left her mic on while we were all doing the last remaining bits of work for the week and I could hear her sibling humming in the background.
Who was the last person you kissed and it meant something? My ex.
Who was the last person you were upset with? Myself.
Who was the last person you danced with? I don’t really dance with other people unless...like, drunk. But I guess my swaying and bouncing with Angela when we watched Sowoozoo counts.
Who was the last person you felt awkward around? The food delivery rider who was bringing food my aunt wanted to send over to us yesterday. He seemed very confused for reasons I’m still very confused by lmao, so it all made for an awkward encounter. 
Who was the last person who borrowed something from you? My mom went into my closet last week to grab something of mine, but I have no idea what it was since I had been half-asleep when she walked in.
Who was the last person who showed you how to do something? My dad taught me how to make coffee that wasn’t from a 3-in-1 sachet lol.
Who was the last person you went shopping with? I don’t really go shopping, much less with other people.
Who was the last person you had a crush on? I haven’t crushed on anyone since my ex, and the people I find attractive nowadays are all celebrities haha.
Who was the last person who made you cry? Myself.
Who was the last person you shared a bed with? Oh, that’s been a while. Still Gabie, I’m pretty sure.
Who was the last person you got drunk with? We were quite a bunch at Angela’s place two weeks ago, but I’ll name a few - her, Reena, Pia, Hans, Al.
Who was the last person who touched your hair? Not sure. Maybe my dad.
What?
What was the last pair of shoes you wore? It was a pair of adidas sneakers.
What was the last birthday party you attended? The last birthday celebration (not necessarily a party) I went to was Angela’s. I darted to her house straight after work that day cos there was no way I was going to miss out on her birthday.
What was the last thing you said to your mother? I think it was just to bid her goodnight last night.
What was the last song you listened to? Seesaw by Suga.
What was the last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night? I was thinking about my headache and how I wanted to fall asleep immediately.
What was the last fun thing you did with your family? We had a Zoom party yesterday to celebrate my cousin Bree’s 12th birthday! Her family sent over takoyaki, milk tea, and pizza to all the households who went and we watched the birthday clips we sent for Bree. It was a lot of fun and it was a super nice break from how monotonous my weekends could be.
What was the last thing you borrowed from someone? My sister’s microfiber cloth so that I could clean my glasses.
What was the last vegetable you ate? I’m blanking out...which is weird because my dad puts veggies in most of the dinners he makes hahaha. Probably something like lettuce or pechay??
What was the last thing you bought online? My friends and I pre-ordered the second season of In The Soop so that we can watch it when it premieres later in the month. We’ll also have to purchase our tickets to BTS’ next online concert that’ll be happening this month too...thanks for reminding me I have to raise it with them haha.
What was the last thing you had to drink? I haven’t had to drink anything recently but the last thing I took a sip of was my coffee.
What was the last reason you went to see a doctor? Continued from yesterday morning. I had had a fever all week long and we couldn’t figure out how to lower my temperature, so we needed to go so I could finally be diagnosed with whatever it was. It turned out to be a UTI.
What was the last non-food item you purchased? Pre-order slots for a pay-per-view series.
What was the last type of yoghurt you ate? Ooh, I don’t like yogurt. I’m blanking out on the last time I had it.
What was the last fast food place you ate at? I haven’t dined in at a fast food place in a while – I think it may have been Jollibee, when Angela and I met up back in February. But I did get KFC for delivery a few weeks ago.
What was the last thing that bothered you and kept you awake? Doesn’t really happen to me nowadays. I get knocked out most nights.
When?
When was the last time you embarrassed yourself? I guess yesterday? I went to Starbucks to work for a little bit but since I hadn’t done dine-in for a couple of months, I had no idea the government modified the rules a bit and required people to bring their vaccination cards if they wanted to dine in. The barista explained the new rule and I ended up profusely apologizing because I didn’t have mine on me, and I also offered that I could just do take out; but she was nice and let me off the hook and just confirmed with me if I’ve had my shots.
When was the last time you watched a movie with someone? Just myself. I did watch Squid Game - binge-watched all 9 episodes straight - with my sister last Saturday, though.
When was the last time you charged your phone? Earlier this afternoon.
When was the last time you were sick with a cold? I dunno. 1 or 2 years ago, maybe? I rarely get colds.
When was the last time you spoke to a family member on the phone? Yesterday when my mom called me up.
When was the last time it rained where you live? Earlier today. Explains why it’s been humid the last few days.
When was the last time you laid awake, unable to sleep? Like I said, struggling to fall asleep doesn’t really happen to me anymore. I usually exhaust myself until I feel like I can pass out the second I close my eyes.
When was the last time you met someone new? I want to say two Fridays ago when I pitched a presentation to a new set of people but still within a client brand we manage.
When was the last time you filled up your car with petrol/gas? I don’t drive a lot, so it’s been a few months.
When was the last time you ate popcorn? Don’t like popcorn so I honestly can’t remember. My mom makes them occasionally though so I may have grabbed one or two just to have something to chew, sometime within the year.
When was the last time you went to a school event? March last year. A school event that had been held on a Friday was literally the last place I was at – by the time that very next Monday rolled around, classes were already suspended.
When was the last time you took the trash out? I’m not normally in charge of that chore so I haven’t done it.
When was the last time you did anything to change your appearance? Like...10 minutes ago? I just fixed my bun since my hair had started to look disheveled from being up all day.
When was the last time you cooked at home? Sometime in like November last year when I tried to make a sandwich. Anyway, my dad just left today to finally head back to his work for the first time in nearly two years, and I told myself (and him) that I should try to learn cooking at least one meal so that I can manage well while he’s gone haha.
When was the last time you had a sleepover? Maybe January of last year.
Where?
Where did you last go shopping for clothing? Not sure about physical spaces but I did open my Zalora app recently to look for cute bucket hats that I’ll probably never buy anyway hahaha.
Where did you last go on a date to? I don’t even remember. I deleted all photos a long time ago.
Where was the last wedding you went to? Manila Cathedral, if I’m not mistaken. This was well over a decade ago, though. I haven’t been to any other wedding since.
Where did you last park your car, other than home? Angela’s house when I visited a couple of weeks ago.
Where did you last leave your keys? Dining table.
Where did your last kiss take place? By my ex’s car when I was bidding her goodbye.
Where did you last go for a walk to? The mall, yesterday.
Where did you last take a vacation to? It was a staycation more than anything, but we stayed at Tagaytay for a night at the start of this year to celebrate my dad’s birthday.
Where did you last go to celebrate your own birthday? We stayed at home. I reported to work that day then just had a huge dinner with my family haha.
Where was the last place you had dinner at? No clue. I want to say Ramen Nagi? when I ate there on my own last February.
Where did you last go to exercise? Rooftop since it’s open-space and no one can see me.
Where did you last take public transport to? I don’t take public transport.
Where does the last person you hung out with live? A city close to mine.
Where did you last visit for the first time? A Korean restaurant close to Angela’s place.
Where did you last take a photo? Just my room.
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