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loganscroftersstash · 11 months

Text

the eye of the storm.

platonic loceit/dlampr

—

hello gang

it has been… a while since i’ve written sanders sides content. i was into it for years before i dropped it and now i’ve picked it back up again. i forgot how much i loved this series. i’ve been rewatching it and remembered just how much i was so excited for the reveal of the super mysterious and spooky orange side, and i got a little pang of inspiration from the working through intrusive thoughts aside video. here is some really shitty angst/comfort; it’s been a while so my characterizations may be off, apologies in advance. and also my apologies for the spacing— i wrote this on docs and i didn’t realize the spacing would be so wide. sorry!!

scroll to v end for authors notes!

—

The date with Nico had gone so good! Thomas was reeling him in hook, line, and sinker; and Remus was able to be contained for the whole time! Sure, he had some moments, but nothing that none of them couldn’t handle. Now, as the sun set and shades of fuchsia and orange painted the sky above the exhibit, everyone decided it was time to go home.

The moment Thomas began to walk back all of the sides sank out, reappearing in his mind in an all too familiar routine. Remus was the only one absent for their outing, everyone else should have been here.

While Roman and Patton were happily reminiscing about the date, exchanging compliments and giggles, Virgil glanced around. He refused to glance in a certain serpent’s direction, but the room still felt empty.

Something was off.

Was it the coffee table? Couch? Maybe the blanket…?

Click.

“Where’s Logan?”

That seemed to break Roman and Patton from their conversation, and they both turned to look at Virgil.

“…Hey, yeah! Where’s our Logan?” Patton asked.

“Oh, who cares! He’s probably sulking because Thomas went out and had fun with the cutest frickin’ guy ever!” Roman proclaims, overly dramatic as always.

Patton puts his hands on his hips. “Now, Roman. Be nice to Logan! He was just trying to get Thomas to be productive— ya can’t argue the state of his home is a little…”

“Revolting?” Virgil finishes the sentence for him.

“I was gonna say icky, but that works too!” Patton grins at Virgil. “But anyway, don’t get mad at him for trying to help!”

“Pfft— help. Nerd.” Roman chuckles, earning a slight glare from Patton. “He could try to help by not getting in the way of our already non-existent love life!”

“You know, Patton’s right, Roman.” Janus murmurs from his corner. “Your twin gave him quite the bit of trouble today…”

Roman straightens his posture, almost defensive, as he glares at the slimy fiend. “What do you mean? What did that mangy mongrel do to him?”

Janus shrugs. “Oh. Nothing. I’m sure you wouldn’t care about that, Logan is just a speed bump on the road to love, and all that…” He says dismissively.

“Tell. Me.” Roman insists, moving closer towards Janus. “What did he do?”

Janus examines his glove, almost unbothered before he looks up at Roman. “Well…”

Roman glares. A silent message to get it the hell over with.

“When Thomas was up in the wee hours of the night, Logan and him decided on a new schedule. You know how those work out for Thomas.”

“Yeah. They don’t.” Roman murmured.

“Mhm. Usually it’s just because Thomas is more… spontaneous. Carefree, if you will. He likes to jump from task to task. Doing a list can be overwhelming, but Logan was just so dedicated to helping him stick to it. And poor Thomas even wanted to do it!…”

“…Jan. You lied, kiddo.”

“Whatever.” Janus shrugs. “Anyways. Remus decided to make Logan’s life a living hell by trying to kill or maim Thomas or Logan himself, but usually he ended up hurting himself.”

“Is that where the sparkly green eyepatch came from?!” Roman gasped.

“…Yes.” Janus murmured. “Anyways. Logan tried to reason with him and—”

“Is no one gonna ask why he knows all this?!” Virgil interjects.

Janus huffs. “Are ANY of you going to let me talk?!” He sighs. “And before you ask, I listen. To everything. Are there ANYMORE questions before I answer the first one?!”

Patton raises his hand for a moment before it shoots back down.

“Perfect. Great. Back to what I was saying… Logan confronted Remus after a few failed attempts and tried to reason with him, because this was one of the few times he’s actually gotten Thomas on a schedule and he tried to stick to it. So, you can tell why he’d be a little irritated about his incessant attempts at getting him off task.”

Roman raises a brow. “And…?”

“Logan screamed at him.”

“Oh.” Roman chuckles. “Yeah, he does that—”

“His eyes shone orange.”

A silence fell over the room. There was a silent, unspoken yet unified agreement that they all knew what that meant. And they knew it was bad.

Virgil was the first to break the silence. “…fuck.”

“…Did… Thomas? See? Do we have to have another confrontation so soon?!” Patton gasped.

“No. No he didn’t. Remus mocked him for the outburst almost instantly and as far as I’m aware, the interaction was over after that.”

“…What made Logan lose his cool that badly over something like that?” Roman hummed.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. How about the fact that you all ignore him?”

“How dare you! I don’t ignore Mark Zucker-nerd; I just don’t listen to him!”

“…Roman. Buddy. That’s ignoring.”

Roman paused, looking down. “…so it is! But either way— we don’t ignore him, Janus. It isn’t my fault he never has anything helpful to add!”

“Oh, please. Logan is literally the embodiment of Logic. He’s resolved how many of these past issues? Logan does the most and gets the least reward, Roman. You have the most influence over our host, followed by Patton and Virgil. Maybe lately me and Remus have had a little fun taking the wheel every now and again— but when was the last time you let Logan make a big decision? You decided to skip the callback, you decided to go on the date. All Logan gets influence on is his little passion project, which he’s probably abandoned at this point because I seriously doubt there’s much passion left in him.”

Janus’ rant has left the other sides staring; Roman in disbelief, mostly at the audacity, Patton in shame, and Virgil in guilt. Deep down, they knew Janus was right.

“…Okay. Maybe I’ve been… a little… controlling.” Roman murmured.

“A lot.” Janus hummed.

Patton leans over to him, “Hey, Jan— kiddo. Small wins.”

“Right, Patton,” He whispers back, sighing. “Anyway. I suggest we try to make this up to Logan one way or another. After we make sure he’s alright.”

“I’m not checking on him. I love the guy, but if I step ten feet near conflict I’ll throw up and die.” Virgil mumbles, throwing his hood up.

“Logan doesn’t usually take comfort from me all that well. I think he finds it kinda patronizing…” Patton frowns. “But I’d be happy to try!”

“No, you're right… and he’d only think I was mocking him.” Roman murmured.

One by one, all their eyes drift to Janus.

“…You want me to go in there. Don’t you.”

“Well, yeah! You’re the most neutral with him! Logan doesn't know you super well and while I’m sure he didn’t appreciate your impersonating of him, I think you see eye to eye with him on a lotta stuff! That helps!” Patton grinned. “You might be the best candidate for this kinda thing.”

Virgil sighs. “….I can’t believe I’m agreeing with this… but yeah. Janus is the best candidate for this particular job…”

“…Of course. Fine. I’ll go check on him.” Janus huffs. He leaves his little corner in the shadows, brushing past the other three and making his way down the hallway. It doesn’t take him long to reach Logan’s door. Usually there’s light peeking from underneath the door, but that’s absent this time. Hmm…

Janus knocks three times.

Usually a “one moment” or a “come in” would follow. But there is silence.

Janus waits a moment, before knocking again, this time accompanying it with a “Logan? You alright?”

He’s met with silence again.

Janus sighs, placing his hand on the doorknob and twisting slowly. He pushes the door open, peeking in just a bit to get an idea of what he’s getting himself into.

The moment the door opens just a crack it’s blown open with immeasurable force, pulling Janus inside and slamming the door behind him. The room is barely a room anymore— more so a culmination of wind. Janus can make out a few objects— calendars with black and red marker scribbled over the dates, some books and some pages torn from them, blank sheets of paper, and a few pens and little knickknacks. Glancing around quickly, Janus realizes there’s a soft, barely there orange glow coming from the center of the room.

Fuck.

“Logan!” Janus calls, trying to push his way through but inevitably getting pushed back against the door. “Logan, let me in! I will help!”

There’s some sort of loud noise, but Janus can barely make it out throughout the pounding sound of wind against his ears.

Fine. Be difficult. It takes a lot of strength, and a lot of mental willpower, but he’s able to carve out a path directly into the eye of the storm. Janus heaves a bit as he walks, immediately taking note of Logan.

He’s… never seen the other so distressed. And honestly, it stings.

Logan is sat on the floor on his knees, hunched over and sobbing. Janus has never seen him cry, never heard it either. But this is just too much…

“…Logan?” He calls quietly, softly. Trying his best not to startle the other.

Said side looks up with a horrified gaze. His eyes gleam with amber tones and the best descriptor Janus has at the moment is overwhelmed.

“Calm down, calm down.” Janus shushes, kneeling to Logan’s level. Instinctively, Logan tries to back away, and Janus lets him. He gives Logan his space. “Deep breaths. Breathe…”

And he tries. All he can manage is panicked and shaky short breaths that can’t be delivering much air to his brain. Janus could see this plain as day. “Logan. Think you’re stable enough to talk?”

Logan glances up and after a moment's hesitation, he nods quickly.

“Five things you can see. Can you do that for me?”

Logan glances around quickly. “Books.” He murmurs, almost rapid as he speaks. “…Calendar. Marker. Pen…” He looks around again. “Cube.”

“Alright. Good. Four things you can feel?”

“…Clothes. Glasses.” His tone is almost robotic, despite it being watery. “Wind… and… and… and the floor.”

Janus can see and feel the wind slowing, even if just a little bit.

“Good. How about three things you can hear?”

“You. Me. Wind.”

“Almost done. Two things you can smell?”

“Um…” Logan panics again. Another question he can’t answer. Of course. “Cologne? Maybe… and… and…”

“Focus, Logan. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

“…Ink.”

“Good. Last one. One thing you can taste.”

“Salt…”

The wind slows to a stop. All the objects fall from where they were propelled. They could deal with that later.

“See? You’re okay. It’s okay.”

Logan looks up, eyes still watery and overflowing with tears. He’s shaking. The word that comes to Janus’ mind is helpless. He knows it’d make Logan worse so he decides to keep that thought inside.

“Now. Would you like to talk about this?”

“I don’t know how!” His tone is surprisingly aggressive, but it doesn’t seem like Logan. It’s out of character for him. He’s crumbling. “I don’t know how to… to talk about this! I’ve never— I’ve never felt so… so…”

“Breathe, Logan.” Janus offers. “It’s alright. Just—”

“LET ME TALK.” Logan shouts; the ferocity of the moment is only comparable to earlier when Remus had pushed too far.

And Janus falls silent. He doesn’t take it personally. He knows it isn’t— Logan is just so overcome with it all he’s lost control. He knows just how bad they can be.

And Logan realizes just what he’s done a moment after, and he falls back into helpless sobs, curling around himself. He feels so fucking awful. Not only is he useless, but he’s an asshole too. Another flaw to add to the ever growing list.

“Logan, I know you’re overwhelmed…” Janus reaches a hand out to touch, but he hesitates, and quickly lets it fall back to his side. “Tell me what’s going on. What’s got you so upset?”

Logan hesitates speaking, before he sobs out his words, “I’m so awful, Janus…”

“If this is about today, you’re not. Remus is especially heinous and you know that—”

“It isn’t just today!” He shouts. “It’s getting harder and harder to do my job and get through to him— I-I’m not good enough, Janus. I can’t do anything anymore! I used to be able to… to do everything, and it was fine. My calendars were in perfect order, I kept the others in check while maintaining a balance— I wasn’t a fucking emotional wreck!” Logan sobs, looking up at Janus desperately. “I’m useless. I can’t— I’m not—”

“Logan. You’re magnetizing.” Janus murmurs.

“Magnifying.” He corrects.

“See? You’re still capable of doing your job. And you still do your job just fine.” Janus puts a gentle hand on his shoulder, smoothing over the wrinkled shirt. “Everyone’s been in chaos these last few months… and that’s partly me and Remus’ fault. We haven’t been easy adjustments.” He sighed. “But,” And he holds up his finger with a dramatic pause, “You of all people have been the most versatile. You put forth your best effort Logan— more so than the other sides have. You know that.”

“But my best isn’t good enough.”

“It is. It is. You don’t believe it is, but it is.” Janus assures. “It isn’t your fault you’re getting overshadowed.”

“Perhaps if my methods were different, if my tactics were better—”

“Shhh.” Janus presses his finger to Logan’s lips, effectively silencing him momentarily.

“Logan. You’re doing nothing wrong.”

“Then why am I getting ignored?”

Janus didn’t have an answer immediately. And he could tell that upset Logan even further, despite the fact he was trying to conceal his tears.

“I don’t know, Logan. I’m sorry.” He sighed. “But I’ll never ignore you. You know that, right?”

He sniffles, nodding.

“…Do you want a hug?”

Logan hesitates for a long moment, as if weighing the pros and cons. Potential comfort and warmth, but also a huge dent in his reputation.

This was a pretty big dent too. Fuck it.

“…Please.”

Janus wraps his arms around Logan, hugging him tightly. “You’re alright. It’s alright..” He murmurs. “You’re okay.”

While Logan quietly cried into Janus’ shoulder, the scaly of the two silently wills the objects back into their places. He doesn’t need Logan even more stressed.

“Do you feel better?”

Logan nods, swallowing thickly. His throat feels scratchy…

“…I don’t think I’ve ever felt those… those feelings so… intensely.” He cringes at the word; it feels sticky and wrong on his tongue.

“I know… but it’s all over now. You’re calmer. Your room isn’t a tornado.”

Logan blinks, glancing up. “Oh. I was…” He looks around quickly. “Everything is in its place…?”

“I put it back. I know mess overwhelms you.”

Logan can’t help the microscopic smile.

“Thank you, Janus… I… apologize for all this.”

“Don’t mention it. It was out of your control. Now,” He pulls away slightly. “Do you need me to stay? I’m more than happy to.”

Logan thinks for a moment, and then shakes his head. “No. I believe some time alone would benefit me. I need to ‘recharge,’ if you will.”

Janus stands and makes his way to the door. “Alright. If you need anything else, you know where my room is.”

“I do. Again, thank you.”

“No worries, Logan. That’s what friends are for.”

—

(i wrote these authors notes as i wrote the story; i didn’t wanna stick them in as i wrote so i put them all at the end.)

authors note: i forgot how vividly i imagined their headspace; even down to the order of the doors. in case you’re wondering, the hallway of their rooms (which you enter from the right side) goes from left to right as such: virgil, logan, roman, and patton. the dark sides have their own separate wing (because of course they do)

authors note 2: i feel like sides have a lot more willpower and control in the headspace than we originally think— and the dark sides seem to be more powerful than the core 4 so they have an easier time doing stuff like that. obviously since deceit can transform into any of the sides— which i feel like the other sides can do but choose not to?? if they can become thomas’ friends they should be able to transform into each other,,— and remus can summon objects outside of the mind palace and headspace— we’ve seen other sides with fidgets or swords or little caps but never anything like super big i don’t think? it’s been a while hah

authors note 3: i’m trying to make up some shit about the orange side while also keeping it vague so it’s not too specific. mostly cause i want this to be logan centric but also i want this to have the best chance at holding up after he is revealed

authors note 4: logan may be the logic side but he is also the autism side

authors note 5: this just became a loceit fic but i’m not even mad. logan x anyone supremacy

authors note 6: this just became a self projection fic but i’m not even mad. logan x self projection supremacy

authors note 7: i didn’t know how to end this so have some weird janus and logan

okay hi!! finally done writing. got this done in like… two hours shockingly. i speed ran this fr

no beta read we die like men.

reblog if you enjoyed!!

25 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 7 months

Text

lies are only as good as the person who tells them (and you've never claimed to be)

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: sarah black | the bishop/john hartley | also the bishop, pining from our dear nolan here

Word Count: 3086

The first rule about running a con is that if you ever find yourself believing your own lies, it’s time to get out.

Did he believe that he really cared about Agent Built-Like-A-Brick-Shit-House Hartley? At first, no, because he was just an angry wall of meat that was always conveniently placed between him and anything he wanted—namely, the eggs—and it was not hard to hate angry walls of meat. Then it became yes, he did actually care about this massive lug hauling himself alongside because hey, more people equals more variables equals more things he has to prepare for when everything goes tits up.

Then…yeah, okay, maybe then.

Maybe.

Like, gun to his testicles he probably wouldn’t say anything but if Hartley was throwing a party, he’d turn up. Maybe. Just to snatch the most expensive bottle of booze, crack a joke, and leave.

No, you know what? This is a dumb place to start. Try again.

He wishes he would’ve just left with the fucking egg.

He wishes he would’ve jumped off the car and onto the other car and rode away on it.

He wishes he would’ve let the Bishop shoot Hartley in his fucking chest.

He wishes he wouldn’t have included him in that prison escape plan. He wishes he’d never told him the long story about his dad. He wishes he’d’ve let that fucking train rip him in half.

He—

Nope. This sucks too. Starting over.

The oldest rule to a con is that it’s got three parts. Hook, line, sinker.

Hook, get your target to admit you’ve got a point. Get them interested. A foot in the door, no matter how gnarled, gross, disfigured, or warty it is. Even if it’s just a single toe. Get it in the door.

Line, feed them something they’ll want to eat. Hint at what you want them to be paying attention to. Get them talking, get them on your side.

Sinker. Ride the gullible sap all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Like dead weight. Reel them in. Make them eat your bait until their little fish mouths are so full they’re gasping before they’re even out of the water.

…yeah, that metaphor fucking sucks. Start over.

Any minute now. He’ll think of something. Don’t you worry.

…it’s really fucking hot out here.

Didn’t even give him any sunblock or sunscreen or sun tan lotion or whatever the hell else people call it. You know how hard it is to be inconspicuous with tan lines? Maybe he should be grateful that he’s getting his vitamin D now since wherever Das is gonna stick him now likely won’t have panoramic views.

Also the cuffs. Hurting like hell, thanks.

He wasn’t lying, not really, when he says he’s got no hard feelings for them. They’re good. Holy shit, they’re good. They fooled him, that’s saying something. And the whole thing with the dramatic build-up and the kiss? Poetic cinema at its finest. Sure, he also wasn’t lying when he said he had notes for Hartley’s performance. A little less of the posturing, yeah, maybe a little less heavy-handed with the I became a cop to get back at my old man who despised the law and everything it stood for bullshit, and maybe a little less of the I’m-going-to-pretend-to-be-asleep-after-you’ve-just-confessed-your-tragic-backstory-since-that-time-with-your-third-therapist, that was a dick move.

But everything else…yeah. Really great. Top notch.

Great performance.

Nolan sniffs and tries to adjust his arms so he’s resting a little more comfortably against the tree. Which is hard, considering he’s standing in the middle of a fucking jungle with his hands cuffed around a branch and his chest is currently doing its very best to fucking explode.

You have to get really good at listening to your body when you do what he does for a living. You have to know when you’re in pain and understand where your limits are. Extends to other things too, knowing when you’re hungry, when you’re tired, any of that stuff. Sure, once you know your limits you can start to push them, can start telling your body to fuck off and all that good stuff, but you’ve got to learn them first.

Nolan Booth is not a fucking rookie. He’s been around the block. Over it, under it, through it, he’s practically circumcised it. He knows what he’s doing.

Which means that it’s probably a good thing he’s handcuffed to the tree right now so he has an excuse for not knowing what the fuck he’s doing.

Is he mad that they got the drop on him? You bet your sweet ass he is, he’s supposed to be the one victorious at the end of all of this, he’s supposed to have his walk-off into the sunset moment. Sure, it’s tempered a little bit by the fact that yeah, okay, game can recognize game and that was good.

Is he mad that he doesn’t get to keep any of the eggs? Again, you bet your fucking ass he is. He did so much of the work to get those eggs, he fucking unearthed deep-seated childhood trauma for this shit, and no payoff? Rude.

Is he mad that the stupidest, easiest lie in the fucking world is the one he fell for?

Does he even need to say it this time?

Nolan clenches his jaw and tries to ignore the press of his forehead against the bark of the tree. It rasps against too-sensitive skin and doesn’t do anything to alleviate the sting of the cool metal cuffs.

He tries to tell himself that this is fine, that the lie isn’t as stupid and entry-level as he thinks it is. Hartley may not have actually worked for the FBI as a profiler, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the skills. Hell, he’s worked as a circus performer and he didn’t even have to pad out his CV that much. Hartley knew him, better than he’s let most therapists know him, and adjusted the lie accordingly. It was tailored specifically for him, that’s why it worked so well.

Never mind that it’s impossible to get that much stuff without actually talking to someone, never mind that it’s almost insulting how easy it was for him, if that was the case, it means they looked him up and did the job they knew he would fall for.

Of course they did, a traitorous part of his brain whispers, they’re con artists. That’s what you do.

Nolan grits his teeth and tugs at the cuffs again. It’s useless, he knows, he’s actually going to have to work to be free of these blasted things, but his hands aren’t working properly right now and he’s still too distracted by the pain blossoming in his chest.

He wonders if Hartley knowing how badly he wanted to believe the lie was a part of how they came up with it.

Who is he kidding, of course it was.

Hartley’s words still ring in his head. Worthy of your father’s love. That had been the first time he’d conceded to the big hunk and he…he’d honestly thought it might be the last. But it hadn’t.

Not when he’d gotten caught right next to him and found that not only is the man strong, he’s smart.

Not when he’d actually been hurt when he’d heard the fake snore coming from underneath him.

Not when he’d watched him about to handcuff the Bishop only to stop, an actual fond smile coming to his face before sharing what might be the most tender kiss he’s ever seen with the woman who was supposed to be their greatest rival.

His greatest rival.

Nolan resists the urge to slam his head against the branch. Barely.

We. When did this become a ‘we’ thing? When did he start thinking of this operation not as Booth and some agent he’s dragging along, but Booth and Hartley? When did he start to care that someone else was here, to the point where he left the fucking egg?

As with all good cons, the target can’t point out a singular moment where the switch flipped. It’s a slow burn, the kind where you put a frog in water and it doesn’t jump out even when its skin starts to peel off.

How hot was the water when he heard Hartley laugh for the first time? Like, genuinely, I’m-not-shitting-you, you-genuinely-caught-me-off-guard laugh. His whole face had broken out into this smile and Nolan hadn’t been able to look away for a second.

How hot was the water when he’d heard Hartley gasping for breath behind him and his chest had seized, trying to make him spit out the information just so he could get Sotto Voce to stop?

How hot was the water when they’d both been scrabbling around in the dirt like children, their sides pressed together, shoulder to shoulder, until the heat was almost unbearable?

He’d been boiled alive at the bottom of the waterfall.

It doesn’t matter what you do, only what they think you’ve done.

It doesn’t matter that the gasps he heard from Hartley made his throat cry out in agony, only that he lied to Bishop about where the last egg was. It doesn’t matter that his hand shook as he fitted the watch into place on that Nazi bunker, only that it worked to get inside.

It doesn’t matter that his heart feels like it’s tearing itself in two, only that he got them what they wanted.

The cuffs jangle as he yanks on them.

Hartley…with his gruff voice and short sentences and jokes that slid just underneath Nolan’s skin. Even when they’d been fighting, he’d never hurt Nolan, not really, not badly, and the way they just seemed to match each other. Even with their insults and when they’d been squaring up in front of guns and technology and behind enemy lines, they’d been—he could look at Hartley and feel some sort of security.

And Bishop…god, where does he even begin? The attention she’d paid him, the way she said his name, the way she’s crafted the narrative of them together as art thieves, even the way they teased Hartley for being so Johnny Law…

He tries to observe his own flaws with the way he does others, if only to make sure he can account for them when he goes to work. He knows he has a need for validation, for attention, but god had he underestimated how much he’d turned into a fucking lapdog.

The pit in his chest opens a little bit more and two hands twist the knife.

Whoever said that true friends stab you in the front because it’s quick and painless is a filthy liar.

Of course they knew. Of course they knew. They’re too fucking smart not to know. He knew as well, that this was just a game. This was a game of them trying to one-up each other, seeing who could get the other to give up a weakness first. He knows he lost. He knows he’s lost badly and he’s a gracious loser. But that doesn’t mean it’s painless.

He wonders who figured out he was starved for affection first. His money is on Hartley, just because the man is the one who figured out how to walk the line between giving Nolan enough to make him follow the crumbs like a stupid pigeon while still believing it was all his idea. But Bishop…oh, Bishop did so well with toying with him that he has to believe she knew it too. Little boy, perfectly molded into what they needed him to be by a daddy who didn’t talk to him for over a year and there he was, a pawn they moved effortlessly across the board, hand in unlovable hand.

Another lie he told himself, another lie he knows he won’t ever be able to believe.

Thank god he’s tied up in a jungle. The breeze ripples through the trees and insects whine like it’s their job to suck his brain out of his ears and he’s panting as he pulls at the jangling cuffs. It’s not quiet, it won’t ever be, not here, and he’s just a little bit grateful to them for that.

“Do you ever shut up,” Hartley had grumbled on the flight to Argentina, “or am I cursed to just put up with your noise?”

“Aw, don’t complain, sweetheart, I’m sure I’ll make plenty of noise for you if you just ask nicely.” Never mind the fact that he would, he knows he would, if only that shamed and shunned part of him weren’t so buried.

Hartley had glared at him. “I’m sick of you.”

And unbidden, Nolan had laughed. Genuinely laughed. “You think you’re sick of me? I have to listen to me all the time, even when I’m not talking.”

Hartley had given him another look, one that he now knows means he’s filing that information away to be turned into a weapon later, wielded by him or the Bishop, it doesn’t matter. Back then, he’d thought that maybe, just maybe, it’d been something like…regret? Compassion? Something?

Nolan isn’t sure that Hartley knew what he was saying.

I have to listen to me all the time, even when I’m not talking.

The worst thing about prison is the silence. Of seeing so many people and knowing they’re there and no one saying anything. Of being ignored because of course he’s there to be ignored. No one cares, no one will, and he will drown in silence until he can’t hear himself scream.

Maybe he should.

His throat closes up and aches to be let free and he wants to, he wants to, but the lingering fear that someone might hear him keeps a lock on it.

Because he’s under no illusions that he’s saved face, but he has some pride left.

He settles for the most pathetic whine he can think of as he buries his face into the bark of the tree. There’s no one but himself here to lie to, not in the safety of his own head, and he knows better than to try right now.

He thought his legs were going to give out when he realized what had happened. He’d stared at them looking so smug, so perfect, so annoyingly perfect when they revealed what the jig was. And then to see them comforting each other, reassuring each other, apologizing to each other because they cared about each other. Seeing the fake warmth fade to genuine affection and fondness as they proceeded to treat him like a wall. He wasn’t there. He didn’t matter. He never did, he was just the Bishops’ pawn, and he would never be anything more than that.

Nolan’s eyes squeeze tighter. He’s not going to cry alone in this jungle, handcuffed to a tree. He’s not.

He’s not going to think about how stupidly condescending that last speech was. He’s not going to think about the part of him that still yearned to reach for Hartley during that moment when he said they had nothing but respect for him. He’s not going to think about how much he felt like a kid again, begging for scraps of anything from a father that wouldn’t give it to him.

He’s not going to think about how easily they moved around each other. He’s not going to think about how, even when they were still supposedly enemies, they moved around each other as easily and comfortably as only intimate lovers could. He’s not going to think about how well he could see that in how they took turns tearing him apart.

He’s not going to think about where they’re going now. He’s not going to think about the Bishop in some extravagant evening gown with Hartley taking her arm, the power couple they are. He’s not going to think about how much they care for each other, how much they depend on each other, and how little of anything they ever gave him was or could have been real.

Because it wasn’t. It wasn’t real. It won’t be real. They don’t think of him. He is nothing to them, not in the way they could be to him.

So he’s not going to think about it.

He’s not.

Nolan Booth ducks his face between his elbows as tears squeeze themselves from his eyes.

He can’t stay here. Das is going to come looking for him. He’s going to be escorted back to prison and he’s going to have to deal with this. He has to plan.

So he lets himself have this. He slumps against the cuffs and lets them dig into the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrists and he lets the ache in his chest send him almost to his knees. Because the second Das finds him, the game is on and he’s going to need all of his strength for what comes next.

He has to rest now. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he wants to scream, he has to rest now.

He’s as silent as he can be in the middle of an abandoned jungle.

He lets Das and her men throw him roughly into the back of a truck. He lets his restraints be fastened so tight his circulation is about to be cut off. He lets himself be shoved into the back of a silent truck that means he can’t hear anything other than his own breathing and the blood rushing in his ears.

He lets the boat spray hit him too hard in the face as he rides it out to the yacht in the middle of the ocean. He lets his shoulders ache and protest as he squeezes himself into a too-small space. He lets the sounds of passionate, real love and affection nestle into some soft part of his brain and stay there.

He lets Hartley look at him like he’s a pest. He lets his words that say I don’t give a single fuck about you and you wish I cared enough to be angrier strike him where Hartley knows it hurts. He lets Bishop persuade her partner—her partner—to take the score because Booth can be a valuable asset and Hartley trusts her, one hundred percent.

And he never again lets himself believe that, even for a second, any affection they show him could possibly be real.

#red notice #nolan booth #john hartley #sarah black #the bishop #fic #dragonbabbles

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dukeoftheblackstar · 8 months

Note

Hey I don’t know if you’re taking requests, or know someone that is, but I’m feeling a Plo Koon x timid fem!reader fic, rating is dealers choice! Have a great day!!

Summary: Aboard the Triumphant, your fate is sealed amidst your numerous failure.

Pairing: Plo Koon / Reader

Word Count: 1K

Rating: F for Fluff. F for Foolishness.

Notes: The best means of healing and comfort isn't always through a plethora of words and wisdom — sometimes you just gotta yeet that shit out into space with new found friends and better opportunity. Oh and yeah, trust the force or whatever.

Color thingies because I'm deranged to not use them: Orange: Plo Koon Pink: You/Reader Blue: Commander Wolffe Purple: Sinker, Boost, Warthog, Comet

Perfect divider by @idontgetanysleep with itty, bitty, cutie-patootie Plo Koon face ♥

You did what you were supposed to— or at least tried, for that matter. The instructions were pretty clear and simple even for someone who had just boarded the Triumphant after barely making the cut to be a medic. The choice was either to be retrained under a more draconian approach having failed a shy number of times, had it not been for the strings that latched onto your shoulder for having a guardian with amicable connections, or be decommissioned. Not that you would suffer the same fate as the clones for being an external resource, but to no longer be of contribution to the cause of peace in the ever-chaotic galaxy is no better than death itself.

And you were ecstatic —even for a fleeting moment when news of you being assigned to the 104th came about. You’ve heard so much of Master Jedi General Plo Koon and the Wolfpack that you couldn’t really blame why some clones aspire to be under the warm hand of the highly revered and ‘tamed’ Jedi as opposed to the boisterous bunch of Generals Skywalker and Kenobi. You were beyond elated that you’ve missed hours of sleep as you were finally jettisoned from Coruscant to board the venator-class ship that you’ve become quite a jittery mess.

And so here you are; standing before a box of refurbished datapads with not a single device flickering to life as if the protruding ports smashed and torn weren’t enough to instill how much of a failure you are — how much, a simple task efficiency eludes you as how all the tasks before today had done the same.

You might as well just step off the ramp right now and float aimlessly in space to mirror the emptiness you bring to the galaxy with your pathetic existence, right? Might as well just step into the sun and at least allow yourself to be a source of kindling that may burn brighter and serve hope to the fallen like yourself. Might as well —

“Might I interest you in a little distraction, little one?”

Plo Koon, in his towering frame that was both intimidating and of a soothing presence, had placed his talon-clad hand over your shoulder; a gentle squeeze to merit your attention as you turn and immediately lower your head with irises shaken in search of words to offer your most-sincerest apologies for having brought the incorrect package.

“I’m… I’m sorry, sir.” Even your apology was barely acceptable by your standards that you felt even smaller. So small that you were a rough estimate of twenty-nine seconds away from welling up for failing so miserably these past few days. It has deterred your morning routines of self-affirmation knowing fully that you are only to fail once more — and you have indeed yet again. You weren’t much of a talker either; you were that of a shy nature, timid on all accounts.

You hear a soft thud and wince — not that you were hurt or anything, but you were so easily frightened when it comes to failure, thinking he would have struck you or at least commanded a trooper to escort you out of the premises and off to the uncertainties of life.

But no, it clearly wasn’t that at all.

As you gaze up to inspect the sound, you see Plo Koon holding a metallic bat made of scraps, worn of usage with blurred writings and the Wolfpack’s insignia drawn on different angles including the signage on the 104th’s ships, Plo’s Bros.

You watch his wrist turn and swing the bat lightly, testing it with a firm grip at the hilt.

“When in training…” He began, pausing dramatically like the true, theatrical Baran Do Sage that he is apart from being a Master Jedi. “... the only failure is not to learn from your defeats.”

Before you could ask, you see him turn, grasp the hilt of the bat with both hands, swing as one refurbished datapad flew over his head and met the bat with such precision that it was out in the vastness of space in less than a second.

“Nice shot, General.”

Your eyes were drawn promptly to Boost who offered a cheerful greeting and a wink, tossing another broken datapad in his hand ready to putt. Comet and Warthog beside him holding a singular digit of 1 and 0 in solidarity, while Sinker rummaged through the box of unusable datapads you’ve carried.

Plo turns to you and extends his hand, guiding and insisting you take the plunge.

“Your turn, sweetness.” You hear Sinker from behind you, ushering you towards their beloved General who then welcomed you with a rather secure hold as he positioned himself behind.

You feel the warmth of his palm enveloping the back of your hand in contrast to the stannic bat that latched on your grip. He guides your other hand to firmly take hold before leaning over your shoulder.

“Remember, my dear, you always pass failure on your way to success.”

With that, Plo steps a mindful distance and turns to Boost with a nod. “Consider this your official initiation to the 104th.”

And right before the turn of events fruition, you hear yet another voice approaching.

“Ah, Commander Wolffe. How good of you to join us.” Says Plo Koon.

“General. Boys.” Wolffe replies in his stern and gruff note. “You do realize that I have to file a report on this.”

In fear, you turn to Plo whose brow creases were far from being tensed let alone bothered. He turns to Wolffe and motions for Boost to ready his aim.

Wolffe sighs in both an exasperated and amused manner, arms tucked behind his back as he turns heel and bid farewell. “You best make that shot or you’re off this ship, miss.”

“You heard the commander. I believe in you, little one. Make your mark.”

And indeed you have —with a newfound determination and a steady grip, you’ve allowed yourself to not only trust in the Force, your new comrades, your new General, and your new role, but have also found it within you to trust the most important aspect of existence;

♥̷ ̷Y̷ ̷O̷ ̷U̷ ̷R̷ ̷S̷ ̷E̷ ̷L̷ ̷F̷ ̷♥̷

Welcome aboard the Triumphant, little love ♥ Where PloHours and 104th Foolishness is operational 24/7. I hope you enjoy this and that this was is at least a little close to your ask because oh-my-god, did I have to Google so much meaning equivalents of ‘timid’.

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giggly-squiggily · 2 years

Note

Maybe for demon slayer... Enmu and Rui tickles? There is absolutely no tickle content of them

Not gonna lie to you- this was both super exciting to make and also really difficult. Mainly because this was my first time writing for either of these characters adkakekjajkrejk I hope you like it friend!

TW/CW: Disembodied hands (Nothing gorey or violent- just based off Enmu's whole thing in Mugan Train)

“Whatever you have planned, I don’t want any part of it.” Rui’s voice dripped of ice as he backed up against the cool wall behind him, eyes distrusting. “Stay away from me.”

“Hm? What’s this? Are you scared, little spider?” Enmu laughed, the sound like honey as they approached. “It was my understanding children love games, no?”

“Human children perhaps.” That was a lie and they both knew it. Rui loved games- even if he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. So today, after the meeting for the moons concluded and he left them to their own devices, Enmu offered the youngest moon a challenge.

“Hide from me for one hour and you win.” They offered, eyes twinkling with clear mischief. “But if I catch you~” Their hands raised, wiggling their fingers at the small spider.

The threat was clear. Rui’s visible eye widened.

This is where we find them now.

“Oh come now- if you truly didn’t want to play, why stay around? You could have easily left by now.” Enmu cooed, relishing in the conflict playing across the small demon's expression. “Don’t tell me…you don’t think you could win?”

Those eyes flashed. Hook line and sinker.

“Fine. One hour you said? Easy enough.” Rui pushed off the wall, regaining his composure as his voice returned to careful neutrality. “When do we start?”

Instead of answering, Enmu’s hands popped off, skittering to the floor.

Rui blanched.

“Right now.” The hand grinned, before lunging.

~~~

“Hm, such a shame really. I thought you’d last longer.” Enmu hummed in feign disappointment, kneeling beside the lower moon. “Turns out you’re not as fast as you thought.”

“Che-Chehehehahhahahhahater!” Rui could only cry out, squeaks and childish giggles escaping his lips as he twisted to and from beneath Enmu’s hands. One sat on his belly, clawing and scribbling against the fabric of his Yukata while the other scribbled near his neck, gently poking along the sensitive skin there.

“Me? A cheater? But you agreed to the game!” Enmu pouted, giggling softly when Rui squealed. “Hehe, found a bad spot?”

“Iihihihihihihim gohohohoohohonna strihihihihihing yohohohohohou up to buhuhuhuhuhuhuhrn!” Rui cried out through his cackles, curling on his side in an attempt to protect his ribs, the hand playing the bones like a piano. The other hand, seeing how ticklish he was there, dropped down to his armpit and scribbled away, earning even more adorable noises. “Gahahhaahhahaha nohohohoohoht thehehehhheere!”

“What? Not there? Why? Is it too ticklish for you? Hm?” It was moments like this the dream demon wished demon's could blush. They could already see how flustered the spider would have been if he could.

“Gahehahahahhaha oohohohohohkay! Ohoohoohohokay I gihihiihihihve! I gihiihihihihive!” It took some extra tickles, a few more death threats, and the addition of Enmu making a third hand (“Hohohohoow do yohohoohu mahahahke those?” “Magic.”) But eventually, Rui gave up.

Laughing, Enmu pulled their hands back, reattaching them to their wrists and resting their chin in them sweetly, eyes twinkling with mirth as Rui gasped for breath. “Had fun, little bug?” They teased, earning a breathless glare.

“Shuhuhuht uhuhuhp…ahehee…heh…” Rui closed his eyes, pulling his sleeves over his face to hide the reluctant smile refusing to budge. The sight was so cute Enmu decided not to remind him demons don’t need to breathe. “Thahat was cheating!”

“I disagree. I told you the rules of the game before we started. Not to mention, you had multiple chances to get away, yet you didn’t.” Enmu grinned, reaching out and poking the smaller demon’s waist. “Don’t tell me you wanted to be tickled, no?

For a brief moment, the spider demon seemed to consider this, eyes widening as he took in Enmu’s question.

The next, strings overtook Enmu’s vision, and they soon found themselves hanging by their ankles.

“Mention this to anyone, and I’ll really leave you to burn.” Rui voice was ice once more, and he left the dream demon hanging from the roof as he disappeared back to his mountain.

“Huh…demons. Humans.” Enmu sighed, smiling as they hung. “Such unique creatures, they are.”

I hope this was good!

Cloud 9 (Taglist)

@thatbigbisexual29 , @myreygn, @wolfyeatstacos @duckymcdoorknob, @gladdygirl18 , @baby-tickles2022

#demon slayer #Rui #Enmu #12 kizuki #Lower moons #tickle #tickle dabble #fluff #tw: disembodied hands #I've never written for these two before #It was really fun!#And also a challenge #I want to do more though!

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justsomerandomfanfic · 5 months

Text

Crazy For You - Stoney 'Stanley' Brown X GN Reader

Title: Crazy For You

Stoney 'Stanley' Brown X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Reader's mother, Dave (Mentioned), Link (Mentioned), Mrs. Freadrick (OC) (Mentioned), Robyn (Mentioned)

Requested By: @zachizthegoat!

WC: 3,478

Warnings: Reader has a mother, flirting, banter, nicknames, prom, Reader's attire is not described (wear whatever you want), very small bit of suggestiveness, Reader is given flowers, brief mention of spiked punch, perfectly choreographed dance, based off the song; Crazy For You by Madonna, and fluff

Stoney let out a sigh, clearing his throat as he waited in the hall, standing by his locker. He had asked you in math class to meet him at his locker a few minutes before lunch let out. And now, Stoney normally wasn't normally a nervous person, he was usually a pretty confident, wacky guy. But, right now he was fidgeting with his fingers and turning his head at every little noise in hopes to see you walking down the hall with that perfect smile of yours. You had been friends with him and Dave since freshman year, and ever since meeting you, Stoney was hooked; line and sinker.

Stoney was pretty obvious that he was interested in you, and you seemed to have noticed. You and Stoney would end up flirting every time you guys hung out; which would also always annoy Dave. And yet, nothing really came out of it. But Stoney really liked you, more than anyone else, really. He was crazy for you, if you wanted, he’d walk all the way to the ‘Food 7 Mart’, just to buy you a burrito; and split it fifty-fifty with you.

But, seriously, you were perfect. He loved the way your hair framed your face, the way your eyes lit up when you told him about the newest movie you saw, and how you’d bite your lip when concentrating on something. And you understood him and his weird sayings, which was awesome. You were so understanding and sweet. You were always there for him if he needed someone to talk to or just hang out with, and you never judged him; as most people at the school and in the small town did the opposite of.

Stoney, though, was so stuck in his head, thinking about you, that he didn't even hear you come up and stand beside him. His eyes stared down at the floor tiles, thinking about the time you shared a roll of SweetTarts with him, when he finally recognized your beat-up black Converse next to his, only then did he snap his head up to meet your gaze with his; his curls bouncing as he did so.

You gave him your stunning smile, one hand holding the strap of your black, canvas backpack as you looked at him expectedly, "So..." You began, tilting your head slightly to the left, "You told me you needed to tell me something." Your voice sounded hopeful, yet curious as Stoney gave you a sheepish smile. “And you sounded pretty… I don’t know, anxious…” You added, tilting your head slightly. This whole scenario surprised you slightly, for all the years you've known Stoney, you'd never seen him so nervous. He was always the self-assured one of your tiny friend group; the voice of reason. Seeing him fumble a bit was something that took you aback.

"Well, I actually have a question for you, babe." He corrected, clearing his throat; the little nickname he had for you, which he gave to you back in freshman year, always made you smile widen ever-so-slightly and your cheeks burn. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go to Prom with me? And maybe after we can swing by and wheeze the jui-ce." He asked nonchalantly, a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders as he said the last part; almost as if he was having any other conversation. He let a grin then spread across his face, which did help calm his nerves slightly.

You grinned back at Stoney and you couldn't help but let out a little giggle, "I'd love to go to Prom with you, Stoney." You replied, your stomach filling up with butterflies as you mentally cheered; you had been hoping Stoney would ask you. "And I'd love to wheeze the juice with you as well." You teased, giggling again when the tips of Stoney's ears turned a deep shade of pink. He tried once more to just brush it all off and act like he wasn't that affected by your angelic laughter, but he was; he always was.

"Well, I can pick you up at seven,” He finally spoke, his hand coming up to lightly scratch at his cheek, feeling the room heat up to an almost scorching degree; was the school hot, or was it just you? "We'd have to walk to the school, my scooter is broken," He then brought up, feeling bad but you only shook your head lightly, raising both your hands to grasp the lapels of his blue denim jacket, pressing the fabric down and smoothing it over.

"Don't worry your cute curly head about that," You spoke softly, the smile still on your face as you looked up into his honey-brown eyes from the colorful patterns that lay on the fabric; your hands resting on his shoulders, "Just relax, we’ll just have more time to hang out then." You reassured, squeezing his shoulders gently before letting go of him. “Plus, we can get some steps in.” You joked, as Stoney gave you his trademark smile.

Nodding, his curls bounced with him, "See you Saturday, babe."

You just let out a small huff, your eyes narrowed playfully as you tugged on the hanging purple fabric of the bandana wrapped around his temple, "See you Saturday, Stone." You answered back before passing him and walking away.

Watching as you walked down the hall, Stoney couldn't stop his grin from growing, and once you turned the corner and were out of sight, Stoney let out a small cheer. Doing a small victory dance before he went in search of Dave for the last five minutes of lunch to tell him the good news.

~~~

You brushed down your attire, you turned every which way as you looked into the mirror. It was nice, ignoring the anxiety, you felt very confident in it. Fixing your hair again and double-checking that you had everything you could possibly need, you heard a knock on your open bedroom door. You looked up at the mirror, your hands fidgeting with the soft fabric of your clothing as your eyes met your mother's. She stared at you, with a small smile on her face, making you feel a little bit better.

"You look wonderful, honey," She softly spoke as you turned round to face her, "You chose well." She complimented, reaching forward and taking hold of your hands gently, stroking them with the pads of her thumbs. The gentle gesture helped calm your nerves greatly.

You smiled and nodded your head, "Thank you, Mom." You answered, taking your hands out of her and clasping your hands together before you.

Your mother nodded before she raised an eyebrow, a small grin on her face, "You going with that Stanley kid?"

You felt your face heat up at her question as you nodded, "Yeah, Stoney asked me Friday," You answered once more, and your mother nodded. She knew the young man ever since you became friends with him and David, you wouldn't stop talking about him some days. She knew how much you cared about him. Her eyes softened, watching as you stood there with a proud smile on your face. Your excitement radiates through the air around you.

"Well," She let out a sigh, "I'm happy for you two. He knows to bring you back at ten, right?" She asked and you nodded, the anxiety you were once feeling dissipating to a point that you were able to speak without feeling your words trip on the tip of your tongue. "Alright, then," She paused, thinking over what she wanted to say next, "Be safe on the way home, yeah?" Her voice came out almost teasing and you rolled your eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, people also drive at night. I don’t want you to get run over - and no funny business.” She added, shaking a finger at you half-jokingly.

"I’ll be fine, Mom," You said bashfully, "And we’re just friends.”

Your mother just stared at you, giving you an all-knowing look, "Really? Friends don't ask each other to Prom." She spoke and you just let out a small chuckle.

"Actually, they do, Mom," You corrected, only to see that she was just playing with you, making you let out a sigh of your own, "He'll be here soon, I should-"

The sound of the doorbell interrupted you, and your mother couldn't help but smile before pulling you into a hug. "I'll see you soon. You two have fun."

You nodded before you headed down the stairs and to the door. Letting out a shaky breath, you felt your nerves bubble as you reached out for the doorknob. Taking another deep breath, you opened the door and saw Stoney waiting for you at the door. You were sure your heart skipped several beats seeing him. He looked like his perfect usual self, dressed in flared pants, a fancy button-up over a white shirt, and a purple scarf. You felt a bit overdressed, but that didn't seem to matter to Stoney cause once he saw you, his jaw dropped. You just smiled, feeling your cheeks warm up as Stoney ran his gaze up and down your form.

"Woah," He breathed out quietly and you chuckled, "You look gorgeous, babe." He spoke sincerely and you blushed at his compliment, you almost thought he'd wolf howl at you like he did most of the time at school but tonight seemed different.

"You look great too, Stone." You answered, noticing that Stoney had a hand behind his back. Raising an eyebrow, you spoke again, “You hidin’ something, Stone?” You asked, watching as his eyes lit up in realization and he brought his arm out to reveal the small bouquet of what looked like wildflowers.

“Oh! These are for you,” He answered, offering the small bouquet out to you as you couldn’t help but let your smile widen.

You took the flowers in your hands, pretending not to have noticed when your fingers brushed against his, “These are beautiful, Stoney.” Your smile then turned into a small smirk as you gave Stoney a look, “Did you get these from Mrs. Freadrick's yard?” You asked, referring to the sweet old lady who lived just down the road from Stoney's house.

Stoney let go of the breath he'd been holding, smiling sheepishly as he nodded, "Uh, yeah."

You only shook your head, letting out a small laugh, “Well, thank you nonetheless, Stone.” Stoney gave you a toothy smile, which made your heart race as you let out a sigh. “I’ll quickly put these in some water.” You added, rushing inside to find a vase. Stoney looked around the entrance of the home, taking note of the pictures hung in nice frames around the room. He hummed some sort of tune as he looked around, his eyes then landing on you as you exited the kitchen. “Alright, let’s head out. Don’t want to miss any of the good songs.” You joked, grabbing your small bag from the table near the door.

“Alright! Party time!” Stoney cheered, making you laugh as you headed back to the door with him. Turning at the door, Stoney raised a hand to the side of his mouth, “Have a good night, Mrs. L/N!” He called out to your mom, making you grab him arm and pull him out of the house.

Closing the front door behind the two of you as you stepped out. “You’re killing me, Stoney.” You looked up at him with a smile, as Stoney offered you his arm and you took it, wrapping your hand around his bicep.

Stoney only looked down at you, wiggling his eyebrows, “Softly, I hope.”

~~~

The beginning of the walk was nice, quiet, and peaceful; you really enjoyed it. "I hope you're not cold," Stoney then spoke up, gaining your attention. "I'd offer my shirt," He gestured to the button-up with his free hand, looking down at you to gauge your reaction only for you to shake your head.

"I'm good, but thank you, Stoney." You replied, glancing up at him with a smile.

Stoney couldn't help but smile back, "If you say so, babe. Just know the offer is always on the table, ahh-wooooooo!" Okay, there was the Stoney you knew and loved. You couldn't stop the laughter bubbling inside of you, as you tried to stifle it, which resulted in Stoney chuckling along as well, his smile widening before he spoke up once more, "Do you think they'll have the four basic food groups?" He asked, and you shrugged your shoulders.

"Maybe, I don't think they'll have burritos or Milk Duds there though," You commented and Stoney let out a hum, nodding his head slowly, "But they'll probably have punch," You suggested, looking up at Stoney who was staring at you, "What?" You questioned, tilting your head slightly to the side as you waited for his answer.

Stoney shook his head slightly, tsking, "That's not part of the four basic food groups, babe," He answered before throwing a hand in the air abruptly, "But! We're going to wheeze the jiu-ce after this fiasco, so I can reteach you then." He trailed off, right as you got to the school.

~~~

Though the gym was dark, colorful lights made it possible to see as the music from the band played loud enough for it to fill your ears. You held onto Stoney, tightening your hold on his arm as you entered, feeling anxious once more. But, Stoney was quick to distract you, steering you right over to the hopefully not spiked punch bowl. As you took sips of your punch, your eyes landed on Dave, Link, and Robyn, already dancing on the dance floor. You watched Link boogie down and turned to Stoney, watching as he bobbed his head to the beat and shimmied a bit in his spot; his eyes narrowed in on the dancefloor.

You knew he wanted to go over there, have a good time and you didn't want to stop him. Finishing your drink, you began to feel more and more comfortable before turning back to Stoney. "Hey, you can go and dance. I'll be alright here." You spoke, his chocolate brown eyes meeting yours.

Stoney looked at you, eyebrows raised as he glanced over to the dance floor and back at you, uncertainly, "Are you sure, babe? Don't want to leave you hanging."

Your brows furrowed as you shook your head, "Don't worry about it. Go and have some fun, you deserve it. And besides," You added when you noticed Stoney's worried expression, raising your hand to let your fingers gently brush his cheek, brushing back some curls, "You can save the slow dance for me." You teased, causing Stoney to chuckle lightly, and you found yourself smiling, glad you had put a small bit of levity back into things.

"Thanks," Stoney muttered as he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment, "See ya later, ba-be." He trailed off, almost song-like before he then slid into the dance circle, masterfully joining Link in his dance.

You watched with a fond smile, unable to take your eyes off him as he helped Dave and Link lead the dance mob. You felt your heartbeat increase, your breathing a little irregular, as you watched him sway with the crowd, dancing with ease as if he belonged there. You felt your stomach grow tight, and your mouth growing dry as your gaze lingered on his strong, lean build. Your eyes followed every move he made as he moved gracefully across the floor. Yeah, you were definitely in love with Stoney. It was impossible not to be.

Before you knew it, the band finished their song, and another fun song came on. Robyn noticed you on the sidelines and dragged you in, swinging hers and your arms together to the beat. You did your best to let go and have fun, letting the music flow through you. Another three songs followed before finally the slow song echoed throughout the speakers; one that you recognized. Other students and their dates found each other on the dance floor, arms around waists and necks as they swayed. You looked around the gym, unable to spot Stoney at all until you felt someone tap your shoulder. Turning, you almost sighed with relief as Stoney gave you his charming grin, offering out his hand to you.

"I believe I owe you a dance," He spoke and you took his hand without question as you both walked towards the dance floor. His hand fit perfectly in yours and you couldn't help but feel a tingle run down your spine at his warm touch.

On the dance floor, Stoney slowly placed his hands respectably on your waist, your arms going and wrapping around his neck; following the other couples' movements. As the song continued, Stoney's moves became a lot smoother; it wasn't long before he was leading you in small circles. The song, a favorite of yours, 'Crazy For You' by Madonna played, making you smile lightly, your fingers moving with a mind of their own to twist into Stoney’s curls. You felt Stoney's thumbs gently brushing over your waist, soothing you yet also leaving goosebumps in their place, and allowing yourself to take a small step closer to the weasel.

Looking into his eyes, you realized he was looking straight at you, a light flush dusting his cheeks as his thumb still softly brushed over the fabric of your attire; the warmth of his hands seeping into you. Your mind went blank for a moment, as if you couldn't think properly, trying to focus on the beat of the song and the slight sway Stoney was doing. But all you could think about was him, and how he made you feel safe, cared for… Loved. How he could calm you down and even make you flush just by being near. As you kept on dancing, you couldn’t help but look at the beautiful man in front of you. Your eyes drifted over his face, from the dimples in his cheeks to the small smile that played on his lips.

Stoney felt like he was dreaming, watching you dance with him made his heart race. You were so beautiful that it hurt, you were the definition of perfection; everything else fell away and he couldn't help but admire your beauty. Your smile was infectious, your laugh was melodic, and your eyes held his future. Even your fingers in his hair were hypnotic. There wasn't anything he wanted more than to spend the rest of his life with you by his side.

At the height of the music, even though it was still a slow song, Stoney abruptly twirled you out; surprising you and earning a giggle from you as you spun around. Once you came back to his side, he continued to surprise you as he dipped you low before slowly bringing you back up. You let out a breath, your chest heaving slightly as you stared up at Stoney with a smile. He did the same, reaching out with his hand to brush away a couple of stray hairs before he cupped your cheek.

You leaned into his palm and he leaned toward you, your lips nearly touching before your noses bumped together instead. The contact sent shivers down your spine, making your body temperature rise slightly. Your eyes fluttered closed as you felt his lips ghost over yours; moving against yours with such care and delicacy that you forgot all of the noise around you, only focused on Stoney and you. When he pulled away, your eyes opened slowly; fluttering. The corner of your lips turned upwards at the emotion in Stoney’s eyes, holding so much admiration and warmth. A flush crept its way onto your face as you continued to gaze into his chocolate-colored eyes; they were shining bright as they bore into your own.

Suddenly, he tilted his head back, letting out another wolf howl, immediately making you laugh; covering your mouth with your hand. Stoney looked back down at you, admiring how happy you looked, eyes closed and a huge smile on your face. The colorful lights hit you gracefully, casting soft shadows and highlighting your features perfectly; painting you in pinks, blues, and yellow. As if in slow-motion, he watched as you opened your eyes, calming down from your laughter; Stoney wondered if this was what love felt like.

He grinned back at you, giving you a playful wink before he rested his forehead against yours. "Let's get outta here, yeah?" Stoney mumbled, and you gave him a nod in response; not trusting your voice. Taking your hand, waved goodbye to Dave, Link, and Robyn before leaving the gym and the school entirely to get your slushie.

#cute #fluff #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #requested #x you #x y/n #stoney brown #stanley stoney brown #stoney brown x reader #stoney brown encino man #encino man #stoney brown x gn reader #stoney brown x you #stoney brwon x y/n #x gn reader #encino man x reader

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thotsforvillainrights · 2 years

Note

Hello, here's my resume for the matchup <3

I'm a bisexual brown girl and I can be very chatty.

I'm an INFP and I can be loyal to a fault, mostly kind, indecisive, playful, chatty but prefer to listen, kinda ambitious and that's all I guess.

I really like things that are considered feminine like dresses, makeup, jewellery (rings!) and things of that sort.

Things I'm interested in other than anime- mystery series, books, writing, cooking and yada yada.

My love language is 'act of service' and I could totally be a sugar mommy if I had money.

Here's my turn ons- basic hygiene (doesn't smell like they woke up in the dumpster, talking from experience :p), serious type, shows basic respect and gives space, its okay if they aren't overly romantic.

And my turn offs- perverted mindset, unfaithful and the basics.

Ummmmm I don't have a preference just please don't give me Re-destro, I don't like him.

Also thanks in advance! I look forward to your reply!

(dude, we literally have the exact same personality type whaaaa?)

Match-Up #15

I match you with Re Destro-

(Pshhhh! Hahahaha!!! Did I get you? Just kidding, I’ll stop playing now lol)

-I match you with Chitose Kizuki-

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-She’s very bold and likely asked you out before you asked her. The two of you met at her company when you came in to submit a resume. She took over the role of HR and decided to interview you herself. She probably came off as conceited at first (and maybe you were right), but I promise she has a soft spot. The interview was difficult. She was throwing a lot of hard-ball questions your way but you managed just fine. The thing that got you the job was how chatty you were. At some point during the interview you both got off topic about the job and started talking about the latest trends and shopping etc. She smirked at you before reaching out to shake your hand. “You’re hired.” She smiled and sent you on your way. I don’t think it even passed to be a week of you working there before she invited you out to lunch with her. Probably right away you noticed this wasn’t work related and that she wanted to date you. What the hell, why not? Office romances could be messy and affect your job, but she was just damn good at persuasion and got you hook line sinker.

-Dating her is so much fun I’d imagine. The shopping trips are out of this world. You’ll have to let go of the role of sugar mommy because that’s her job. She spoils the shit out of you any chance she gets. She has no issues since she does it to herself as well. She’s got a real unbeatable ‘treat yourself’ personality. Her bank accounts could cry if they had eyes to do so lol. Whatever you want just throw it in the cart or else she’ll do it herself. No seriously...she knows you can be indecisive so she’ll step in and do it for you. Cute dresses, Makeup, Jewelry, Books, Cooking Utensils, literally anything! I think the way she shows most of her affection is through gift giving. She also feels loved by having her partner spend time with her. Hopefully you can fulfil this! Speaking of love languages, she’s got no issues with acts of service but you have to let her ease into it. She’s gotten too used to having things done for herself through maid/butler life so now she’s having to adjust to doing it for you instead of having a worker do it instead. You can tell she’s trying and it’s a little funny watching her struggle (a little mean but that’s true lol).

-She’s a good person to have as a partner really. She’s got her flaws here and there but if you can put up with it then it’ll work. She can be flirty but not full on perverted so no need to worry much there. She sometimes has a hard time giving you the space you need. She has a deep fear of being left behind so it’s hard sometimes for her to leave you to yourself. She’s extremely loyal and so are you. Make sure to let her know this so she can calm it down a little bit and also so she can give you some alone time haha. As far as flaws, she’s not too playful at first but I’m sure you bring it out in her later on. She’s got an uptight and classy way about her but only you can see her silly behind closed doors. She keeps up with her looks, always smelling like the best soaps and perfumes that you can find! She’s also chatty by default thanks to her career role. Sometimes you sit back and let her talk while you listen. It’s nice to have someone ask her questions for once instead of the other way around. She admires your ambition and she thinks your interests are rather lovely. She makes note of everything you like so when date night rolls around she knows what to do to make you happy. That’s just her long-term goal...making you happy.

#match up

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milimima · 11 months

Text

Bruh honestly my heart was never w dat boy. I ain’t really think I had to much of one but idk lmfaoooo naaaa can’t even say what it really was. Fuck it. If u watching u sus.

I was bored ok. I was bored. Bored, lonely and was like fuck it this nigga keep following me round n shit might as well see wassup w him.

Bro we get to clicking. I learned about his mom. We exchanged numbers bruh I was prolly like 16 bruh I be violin bruh but I really can be on all bullshit bruh it ain’t even funny. And I think he really caught me at a great time and we just ended up talking for a long time.

Smh da game I have/had crazy boyyyy. Like I had notes. Certain shit to ask. Niggas be swearing the da ones boy. But anyway I ain’t have no bad intent w da nigga… idk maybe it was da look, smelll, how he moved. Bro honestly nobody could figure out wtf I was doing not that I gave af. Clearly.

It’s cool whatever. We grew. We learned. We fought. We made up. We did our time. God pls let us be done. I’m so tired. My heart is out of commission bruh. Let it be done. All of it. I tried to love you keem. But it was gon turn me real bad and I ain’t wan hate you bruh. You was my friend. … iguess it was because Ik you’d stick around to. In a world where they don’t . I ain’t wan lose dat … so it’s not like I faked it the whole time. I loved you, I was showing you love and it was all real. I just knew I could do more. You knew that. Ik there was a deeper side of intimacy to me… I’m so sorry it took shawd to make me see dat. Now I couldn’t go back and bb I love you but I don’t even want to … it’s just to fill a void … and unfortunately you just don’t fill it….

And no one will blah blah blah

Idk bruh that magic I felt. When I felt in love bruh. I see why. I ain’t even fuck dat nigga I was so gone off him 🤦🏽‍♀️ it was like it just made sense. Even the shit I was attracted to w keem.. I feel like was Shawd traits. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Smfh. I was feeling led like shitt like oooooooaaahhhhh that makes sense. Lmfaoooo wrong.

Lol I seen dat man in a tux 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 bruh it’s just crazy cause I’m not even that type a bitch. I don’t plan weddings. Not even really da family type fr. It was like keem introduced me and G showed me da vision and it was like hook line sinker.

I gotta talk about dis shit here man Ik PB over it

0 notes

urfavstonr1 · 1 year

Text

Mortician And The Info Broker

Chapter 16

Series- Durarara

Pairings- Izaya Orihara/Original Female Charater. Kyohei Kadota/Original Female Charater.

Current word count- 2367

Content Warnings- Blood and Gore, Rape, PTSD, Mental Illness, Abuse, Trauma, Violence, Smut

MasterList

After being back at Izaya’s for awhile and compiled all the information how he likes it in a binder and meticulously organized to add to the info he already gathered earlier that lead to the build up of ripper night, Toshiko stretched out on the opposite end of the couch relaxing after all the work she did for Izaya and Izaya sitting in front of the end table with his shogi board and game pieces with Celty’s head right next to him. Izaya fidgeting and playing with white rook in his hands, “Izaya Orihara is strange, I can’t believe your parents named you that.” Namie retorts in a snarky tone.

“I can’t believe your parents even gave birth to you..” Toshiko mumbles under her breath so they don’t hear her, but god Namie pisses her off.

“It may be a coincidence that I have turned out the way that I have, but the name does fit me perfectly.. Do you believe in coincidence, Namie?!” Izaya unfazed by her somewhat rude question.

“Why do you ask?” Namie curious where this conversation is going.

Izaya putting the rook down on the board, “I think most people attribute these recent events to nothing more than coincidence, but you see I sent Nasujima to the girl’s house at that hour of the night. That poor sucker is truly an idiot~” Toshiko fighting back a snicker at the quip at the disgusting bastard Takashi as she keeps listening to Izaya talk gleefully, “He could’ve found Anri Sonohara’s address just by peeking at his class roster. You see once you accept they exist the hard part is over, they’re suddenly everywhere~ demonic blades, fairies there is no end.” Namie, still listening intrigued, “Actually, the only real coincidence is when Nasujima ran off with my cash. He owed some serious debts, so he tried to get the cash by threatening the parents of Haruna Niekawa, the girl that has been stalking him at school. The lone sharks he owed money to were the Awakusu, so they sent him to me so I could dig up a little dirt on the girl’s family. He took the bait hook, line and sinker.. I knew Haruna was Saika or at least a variation, I had planned to corner him and say something like, ‘How dare you steal my money!’ Then I was going to threaten and use Haruna, but that’s when the real Saika, the original came onto the scene. So then, what became of Nasujima? He dumbly thought it was a good idea to try to rob Shizu-chan with a knife out of desperation for money for his debts. My personal preference would’ve been for Shizu-chan to have died that night, but whatever~ Everything still worked the way that I wanted them too.”

“What do you mean? So just what were you after anyway?” Namie asking seeming to be pulled into Izaya’s rant and her curiosity locked into the conversation.

“This city has been broken down into three factions, The Dollars, The Yellow Scarves, and the army of that demonic blade, and the first two have been infiltrated by Saika’s army, bringing spies to both camps.” Izaya now playing with a white bishop in his hand, “To be honest, I would’ve been fine with Haruna Niekawa, just so long as that army of damned came with her, but that Anri Sonohara is more interesting.”

“So?” Namie now losing interest in his rambling.

Izaya placing down the bishop on the game board, “I’m simply creating sparks right now and that’s fine cause from here things will begin to smolder and smoke all on their own~” he leans back on the couch leaning his head back, “The suspense is killing me!”

“Yes, but the yellow scarves were started by a middle school brat weren’t they? How tough can they really be?” Using Izaya’s computer to work as she undermines the leader of the yellow scarves.

“The fact that a kid like him can put together a posse of that size and strength means he is a serious threat, but then again the head of the yellow scarves is sort of an acquaintance of mine~” Izaya continues to move the pieces around the game board , “When I look at it like this, I can’t help but feel that I’m just a little bit god like and you know what?! It feels good~!” Taking a black queen surrounding it with three king shogi pieces, “Three way struggles are fun~ Especially when all leaders are closely connected.” As he then douses them heavily in lighter fluid, “And God attacks!” Chuckling and laughing to himself as he lights a match, “The hotter the honeymoon the higher the flames of despair arise when it all comes crashing down around you~” as he drops the match on the board and pieces soaked in the lighter fluid as he laughs manically, “LOOK THE PAWNS BURN LIKE GARBAGE~!” now fanning out some playing cards in his hands, “Alright then, lets see how the other pieces on the board are going to move. There is Kyohei and his gang, Shinra, Simon.. Aaah yes I guess Shizu-chan would be the King, wouldn’t he?” Dropping the king card into the fire, “Celty of course is queen and the Joker would be, ugh” His face distorting in disgust, “Whatever..” As he sighs unsatisfied and looking a little annoyed, Izaya watching the fire burn and then at Celty’s head. “This is turning into good fun~” he smirks at the disembodied head, “Wouldn’t you agree~?”

Toshiko watching the fire with a soft smirk on her face, hearing his manic excitement like music to her ears. Her eyes scanning over to Izaya, ‘There must be something wrong with me… all I can think is how much I love this man, and I would not change a thing about him..’ Toshiko sitting up, crawling on the couch over to him. “Izaya..?”

“Hmmm? I didn’t disturb you, did I~?” Izaya’s attention turning to Toshiko.

Toshiko side-eyeing Namie still at his desk, “You think you can walk me home today?”

“Sure that’s no big deal~” Izaya getting up, cleaning up his mess from him playing with fire and putting Celty’s head back in its designated hiding spot. “Namie, be sure to lock up when you leave!” Namie just quietly nods while also discreetly glaring at Toshiko, their hate for each other so thick in the air that you could cut it with a knife.

***

Izaya and Toshiko walking into the dark apartment, “Seishi!?” checking to see if she is home, but only met with silence and being sure they locked the door behind them.

“Looks like we are alone~” as he takes his boots off and tosses his jacket off to have it draped over the couch.

“Seems so~” Toshiko walking up to him, their lips already locked in a heavy kiss as Izaya is leaned up against the couch.

Izaya reaching up her shirt and bra, teasing one of her nipples, while slipping his other hand down the back of her pants and underwear while feeling up her ass.

The sound of the door unlocking and opening alerts Izaya and Toshiko. Seishi lets out a sigh as she walks into the apartment, “I’m home!” As she looks up to the makeout session in her living room and lets out a panicked cough, “No I’m not.” She closes the door again as she steps outside.

Toshiko’s head drops to Izaya’s shoulder with a heavy sigh, pulling away from him as she pouts stomping towards the door. Swiftly opening the door and grabs Seishi’s arm, yanking her back inside. “Yes you are! Just get your butt back inside…”

Seishi squeaks as she’s dragged inside the apartment, Izaya already prepping tea and setting it at the table. “Hopefully your first day at Nebula Corp. was a fun time for you~”

“Y-yeah! It was great.” Seishi walks further into the apartment, slipping her lab coat off and laying it over the back of the couch, “I think I might have a demon haunting me now though.”

‘Oh I’m not a demon, cutie~’ Seishi turns over her shoulder confused, hearing a voice whisper in her ear. She wearily turns back to Izaya and sits at the table.

Toshiko looks at her curiously, “You ok there? Is something wrong?”

“Yeah I’m ok. I could’ve sworn I heard something. I guess I’m imagining things.” Seishi shrugs and leans against the table, “It’s been a bit of a long day, I must be more tired than I realized.”

“Maybe the tea will help.. And hope you're not regretting working at Nebula already.. Can’t imagine studying the immortal is easy~” Izaya sits at the table sipping his tea that was in front of him, Toshiko laying on the couch pouting a little while they chat at the table.

“She was definitely more lively than my usual patients.” Seishi laughs as she speaks.

“Oh? I can only imagine.” Izaya scoffs with her.

Seishi’s snicker dies down after a minute at her stupid pun, “Shit, like. She was so flirty! I got my ear talked off, which is a big change from usual.”

“Hmmm by how it sounds, you may have a succubus that has taken a liking to you~” Izaya somewhat joking while also a legit guess. “Hope your ready, they don’t give up their targets easily and they definitely into some serious kinky stuff~”

Seishi blushes, “She did say I’d be seeing her in my dreams…” She mumbles under her breath as she looks down at the table.

Izaya hearing what Seishi said, “Wait, you really met a succubus today?” he chuckles, “I would be careful then cause it’s said they can transform into anyone if they know who their target likes~ so Kyohei for example~”

Seishi groans as her head smacks against the table, “God dammit.” A chill rolls up her spine as she shivers.

“Still excited for Nebula Corp!?” Toshiko chimes up sarcastically from the couch.

“It’s a fun job! She was really nice, and really pretty…” Seishi shakes her head and sighs, “I think I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed.”

Toshiko lets out a sigh, “Just be careful… don’t get in over your head..” Toshiko sounding serious.

Seishi stands from the table and runs her hands through her hair, “I won’t, I’m sure everything will be fine.” She smiles at Toshiko as she closes the bathroom door behind her.

Izaya finishing his tea and setting it down in the sink, joining Toshiko on the couch, letting her have his comfy lap pillow as Izaya strokes and plays with her hair while they relaxed quietly.

Seishi steps back out of the bathroom with a content sigh as she heads to her bedroom, “gnight guys!” She closes her door and opens her phone, sending a goodnight text to Kyohei as she lays down in her bed.

They both said goodnights to her before she disappeared behind her door, a sly smirk growing on both of their faces. They both hop up from the couch and head into Toshiko’s room and as she shuts the door behind her, Izaya pins her to the door, “Shall we pick up where we left off~” trailing his hand down her body and unbuttoning her pants, “Matter of fact why don’t we play a little game~” His smile very mischievous.

Toshiko curious and can feel herself quietly gulp, “What kind of game?”

“Let’s see how long you can keep those sweet moans of yours quiet since your sister is home.. Muffled noises are fine but the second you let out a full moan, it’s game over..” Izaya slipping his hand inside her panties, playing with her clit roughly while biting and teasing her ear. Toshiko biting her lip and covering her mouth with her hand, feeling her moans trying to leave her mouth already, stifling them the best she can. Izaya laughs breathily in her ear, hearing her suppressed moans while feeling her whole body quivering. “Wow~ for someone who can be such a brat to others and bold in taking control.. You’re being such a good girl right now~” Izaya lets out a laugh as he can feel her glare at him, knowing full well she so badly wants to let it out and to not hold back.

Toshiko dropping and leaning her head on his chest as she can feel herself out of breath and trembling to fight with all her might to not let her voice come out, softly pushing Izaya towards the bed. “I say we make this an even playing field~” trying her best to not stutter words, “clothes off..” as Toshiko takes her clothes off.

Izaya obliges her demand and takes his clothes off, “I’m quite curious what you have in mind~” watching her carefully with anticipation.

“L-lay down on the bed..” Toshiko feeling herself getting nervous, but hoping she’s hiding it well enough that he doesn’t notice. Izaya continues to do as she asks as she lays opposite of him eye level with his dick and Izaya’s grin grows now completely understanding what she meant now.

Toshiko begins with teasing him with her tongue, softly licking him and teasing him then slowly sliding his dick into her mouth. Izaya almost lets out a groan by accident, “Don’t think you can win that easily~” Lifting her leg as he buries his face between her thighs and his mouth caressing her clit, Toshiko’s moan being stifled by his dick.

Izaya knowing where she is most sensitive now, mercilessly using his tongue on those exact spots. Toshiko feeling her body trembling already and the feeling rising inside her already, “Izaya.. Wait, that's not f-fair..”

“I’d say it’s fair~ all is fair in love and war~” Izaya chuckles at how quickly she is folding and he can tell he is driving her crazy from his touch.

Toshiko unable to think straight anymore pulling herself away from Izaya to then hover over him, straddling him. “I’m sorry.. I can’t take it anymore..” Her panting very heavy, “Can we just call the game off?” Toshiko feeling herself begging.

“Ah ah ah~ there is no stopping now~” Izaya says with a massive smug grin on his face.

“Fiiiine…” Toshiko can feel her eyes roll, “but I know I can’t hold back and wait anymore.. I want you so badly..” Toshiko lines their hips up as she slides herself down on his dick, biting her lip hard to hold back her moans.

Izaya placing his hands on her hips while watching her sliding herself on to him, “You look like you’re having trouble~ would you like some help~?”

“N-no.. It’s just.. I’m super sensitive thanks to that sly tongue of yours..” Toshiko can even hear her voice shaking, finally getting herself all the way down. Toshiko tries to start moving her hips up and down on him, but the sensitivity making it difficult and her body quivering with every rocking motion she makes.

Izaya seeing her struggle, pulling her down while wrapping his arms around her, pinning her to his chest. “Here just let me help~ you seem to be struggling~” Izaya thrusting quickly into her, Toshiko burying her face into her pillow, holding back any moans becoming unbearable.

“Please Izaya, please.. I can’t..” Toshiko’s mind feeling that blank feeling coming and that her body is about to release any second, Izaya then going rougher and faster.

Quiet grunts and heavy breathing is the only thing leaving Izaya’s mouth while whispering Toshiko’s name in her ear, instantly causing Izaya to feel Toshiko tighten around him way more than usual, even surprising him that he couldn’t hold back anymore as he ends up cuming with her. Toshiko could even feel herself twitching hard as they finished together, unable to catch her breath at all and her mind so heavily empty and having trouble thinking straight, her body also feeling heavy and extremely tired.

Izaya could feel her body becoming a little limp on top of him, “Hey you alright~? He could feel himself laughing quietly, trying to lift her up. Quickly realizing she passed out on him again, to be fair it's only the second time, but the game Izaya came up with must've taken a lot out of her. He carefully rolls her over to softly lay her down and covers her with her blanket, “I’m sorry, I never intended to push you that hard.. Get some rest.. maybe I’ll let you pick out a reward for actually succeeding in our little game~” pulling up their shared blanket, relaxing on his back as he goes through his phone and notices the IM chat has some activity. “Lets see what everyone is up to tonight~”

Kanra: Good Evening~

Taro Tanaka: I’ve been seeing alot more Yellow Scarves hanging around lately

Kanra: Yea I know —

Kanra: With all that yellow those guys are way easier to spot than the Dollars.

Setton: Yea, They have been around for a while

Setton: But lately they seem kinda different

Taro Tanaka: What do you mean?

Setton: I don’t really know for sure

Setton: Something about them has clearly changed tho

Setton: I guess

Setton: They just seem more violent than they ever did before

*** Saika has joined the chat ***

Taro Tanaka: Oh hey Saika how are ya —

Kanra: Greetings~

Setton: Welcome

Saika: Hi everyone

Saika: Umm I’m sorry

Taro Tanaka: What are you sorry for?

Kanra: You were kinda new to the net and you caught a virus

Kanra: That totally explains why you were acting that way right?

Kanra: You just couldn’t help it–

Saika: I’m sorry I’m so sorry

Taro Tanaka: You apologize to much ( ^ ^ ; )

Kanra: By the way Saika have you ever heard of the gang called the Yellow Scarves

Saika: You mean the guys I have been seeing wearing yellow bandanas

Kanra: That’s them exactly

Kanra: There’s another group out there kinda similar to them called the Dollars

Kanra: And now cause’ve that whole slasher thing that was terrifying everyone

Kanra: Those two gangs are feeling some serious tension—

Saika: Ummm

Saika: What’d you mean?

Setton: Let’s change the subject, Kanra.

Setton: That maybe isn’t the best topic for someone who is a newbie

Kanra: I disagree

Kanra: If you live in Ikebukuro you should know this

Kanra: I mean think about it, the slasher is still out there, they never caught him right?

Kanra: Both the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves have people in their gang that got hit

Kanra: And each side is absolutely convinced that the other group is behind it all —

Taro Tanaka: I don’t think the dollars are making a big deal about it

Taro Tanaka: Neither side really knows each other, so that’s creating confusion

Kanra: Doesn’t matter, if the two of them don’t take matters into their own hands and find out who the slasher is then all hell is gonna break loose in Ikebukuro…

Kanra: Scary stuff—

Kanra: This could be a real gang war!

Saika: Oh ok Thanks for the tip

Saika: Sorry but I really got to get going now

Taro Tanaka: oh ok

Taro Tanaka: Good night Saika, take it easy —

Kanra: Good night —

Setton: Bye —

*** Saika has left the chat room ***

Setton: Well, I have to get going too

Taro Tanaka: Good Night —

Kanra: See you later —

*** Setton has left the chat room ***

*** You have a private message from Taro Tanaka ***

Taro Tanaka: Hey Kanra,

Taro Tanaka: About the slasher

Kanra: I’ll let you know if I hear anything and I’ll cut you a good rate~

Taro Tanaka: If the slasher is caught then maybe.. Then the tension will ease between the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves.

Kanra: I don’t know if it’ll be that easy, neither the Dollars or the Yellow Scarves behave like truly cohesive groups

Kanra: I bet some of them will use the current tensions as an excuse to jump the other gang whenever they want

Kanra: If it gets to that point, then a real gang war is inevitable

Taro Tanaka: Then I won’t let it get to that point

Kanra: Really?

Kanra: You may be past the point of no return already and if not you have no control over the Yellow Scarves

Taro Tanaka: It doesn’t matter, I'll stop it!

Kanra: Well, I hope you do~

Izaya’s smirk brazen on his face as he turns his phone for the night, a small chuckle leaving his lips. Toshiko groans, snuggling into Izaya, almost waking her up. Laying his phone next to him as he carefully brushes some hair out of her face while laying his forehead against hers. ‘Looks like things are going to get even more interesting~ and I just can’t wait~’ His thoughts bouncing around with all the endless possibilities that could happen as he drifts to sleep.

Just as the sun rose over the horizon, vibrations and alarming tones coming from under her pillow makes Seishi groan as she fists around to find her phone and turn off her alarm. She sighs as she sits up and looks at the bright screen of her phone to see the time. Reluctantly she climbs out of bed and begins to get ready for work, an early shift at Nebula corp meant lots and lots of coffee.

Her walk to work was quiet and peaceful as the sun slowly filled Ikebukuro with light. Seishi entered the building with her key card and continued to walk to her office. As she walks through the halls a sweet scent fills her senses, a ball begins to form in her stomach as she feels her body heat up, her cheeks flushing red as she continues to walk. When she reaches her office door a cool shiver runs down her spine, sending goosebumps down her arms as she twists the door knob and opens the door.

A sultry giggle alerts Seishi to the Succubus sitting on her desk, only dressed in sheer black lingerie. “Aw it’s my favorite girl~” Meru hops off the desk and struts to Seishi, pulling the door closed behind her as she pulls Seishi further into the office.

“W-what are you doing here? You don’t have an appointment today?” Seishi slightly panics as Meru places a hand on her cheek and makes her look up at her as her other hand slides down to grip at her hip.

“I just wanted to come see you, cutie.” Meru gives a sweet smile before leaning down to press a kiss to Seishi’s lips.

An alarmed squeal erupts from Seishi’s chest as she scrambles away from Meru, a deep blush on her face as she pants. “T-that was uncalled for! I have a boyfriend!” Her panicked voice stutters on her words as she watches Meru walk close to her again, as she gets closer Seishi steps back away from her, only to be trapped between Meru and the wall.

“That isn’t really that important to me, sweet girl. And besides, He’ll never know.” Meru begins to plant kisses along Seishi’s neck and collarbone as she pulls at Seishi’s shirt.

“What do you mean?” Seishi mutters her question as she looks up and away from Meru.

“Because this is all a dream~” Before Seishi can respond Meru sinks her teeth into the tender skin of Seishi’s neck, eliciting a moan from her as Meru drinks the blood that comes from her bite. She licks over the wound once more before pulling back and looking down at Seishi who is shaking and panting, “You’re so cute like this, I could just eat you up~” Meru licks her lips as the look on her red eyes becomes hungry, Seishi squeaks as Meru snaps.

“What the hell!” Seishi screams as her clothes disappear from her body, she’s quick to try to cover herself.

“Now now, if you do that I’ll have to tie you up! But that's what you really want isn't it?” Meru smiles as Seishi blushes impossibly brighter.

“I- well. I don’t know.” Her eyes fall to the floor as her head rushes through the options of what’s about to happen to her. “I’m sorry I don't know what's going on but you make me really horny and I don't know how to feel about that.”

“All you need to feel is how good I’m going to make you feel.” Meru coos as her hands gently roam around Seishi’s body, stopping one of her hands on her boob, rubbing her thumb over Seishi’s pierced and hardened nipple, “you really are so cute Seishi, your tattoos and piercings and how your shaking from barely anything from me.” Meru smirks as she lowers herself down, placing one of Seishi’s nipples into her mouth and gently biting on the bud.

Seishi squeaks out a moan as she closes her eyes. Meru’s hands move down, squeezing Seishi’s hips and thighs while she makes her way to her pussy, pushing one of her fingers between her soaked lips. “And you’re already so wet for me~! You really are such a good girl Seishi.”

Before Seishi can blink Meru has picked her up, wrapping her legs around her waist and setting her on the edge of the desk. Meru licks her lips before pressing a heated kiss to Seishi’s lips, forcing her tongue into Seishi’s mouth as her fingers rub circles against her clit. Moans spill from Seishi’s mouth into Meru’s as she begins to grind her hips against Meru’s hand. Meru pulls away from Seishi as she giggles, Seishi is left panting and whining when Meru removes her hand from her clit and onto her thigh.

“P-please” Seishi mumbles through her panting, her mind delirious between the pleasure and the pheromones that Meru puts out, the sweet scent fills the room around them and invades each of Seishi’s senses. Only desperately wanting pleasure and to be touched. Her skin felt burning hot as she reaches out towards Meru, needing physical contact.

“What was that sweets? I didn’t hear you~” Meru giggles as she swipes her fingers through Seishi’s wetness once more and brings her fingers to Seishi’s mouth, who happily opens her mouth and sucks her own juices off Meru’s fingers, “Come on princess, I can’t do anything till you ask me nicely~”

With Meru’s fingers still in her mouth she desperately moans, “Please Mistress, I need you to touch me so badly, please please~”

“Well of course, you’re being such a good girl.” Meru kisses Seishi once more before laying her down on the desk and flipping her onto her stomach, spreading her legs to give Meru the access she wants. With another snap rope appears in her hand, and she uses them to tie each of Seishi’s ankles to one of the desk legs. Meru stands up behind Seishi, leaning her hips against her ass as she reaches for Seishi’s hands, tightly tying her arms together behind her back. Meru brings a hand down to Seishi’s ass with a harsh slam, leaving a red hand print behind with a smile. She bends down, sitting on her knees behind Seishi; her hands are groping Seishi’s thighs as she brings her face closer to her soaked pussy, her juices dripping down her thighs as she whimpers and whines.

“You smell so good, I bet you taste even better~” As she speaks she licks her lips before leaning into Seishi’s pussy and licks a long streak between her pussy lips, Meru moaning at the taste. “Fuck you really are delishious. You make me want to keep you all to myself, tasting you whenever I want~” Seishi shakes out a whimper as she tries to squeeze her thighs together, earning her a smack to the back of her thigh. “No no, if you do that I’ll have to punish you.” Meru leans down, biting into Seishi’s thigh, making her shake in pleasure as the blood drips down her leg. Meru stands again, leaning over Seishi with a smile before placing a tie over her eyes and tying it tightly behind her head.

“Be good and I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk when you wake up.” She whispers into her ear before kissing her cheek and neals down behind Seishi again, quickly returning to licking her pussy, sucking and biting on her clit occasionally, her nails digging into the soft skin of Seishi’s thighs. Seishi’s moans and whines fill her office as she pants heavily, nearly choking back sobs of pleasure before Meru pulls away.

“No~ Mistress-” Seishi whines before sucking in a sharp breath between her teeth as the thick tip of a cock is pressed against her pussy, it gently slides between her folds and moves up and down her pussy, pressing against her clit each time it lowers.

“Shhh, Mistress knows exactly what you want, I’ll give my good little slut all the fucking she wants~” Meru coos at Seishi before slowly pushing her thick cock inside of her pussy, stretching her as she bottoms out, feeling Seishi clench around her. Whines leave Seishi as she pants, pushing her hips back against Meru to get some kind of friction. Her mouth hangs open while she pants and moans, Meru smiles down at her new toy and pulls her hips back before slamming back inside of Seishi, nearly knocking the air from her lungs at the force.

Meru continues to thrust inside of Seishi, reaching her hand around her hips and pulls out half way. With a swift movement a vibrator is placed against her clit, keeping itself in place by another vibrator inside of her pussy. Meru turns the settings on high and leans back up, standing behind Seishi with her hands on her hips, leaving finger sized bruises into her pale skin. Thrust after thrust with the vibrations coursing through her core leaves Seishi a moaning mess. A slur of pleas flood from her mouth as she feels herself squeeze around Meru’s cock.

“M’gonna cum, m’so close.” Seishi pants out desperately.

“Not yet, you gotta hold it until I say so.” Meru smacks Seishi’s ass again, speeding up her thrusts; the desk beneath Seishi shaking with each one. Every thrust has Seishi shaking, trying her hardest to hold herself together, “You’re being such a good girl Seishi~”

Seishi whines as Meru pulls away, pulling her cock out of her aching pussy. With swift movements her ankles are untied and she’s flipped onto her back, her legs spread wide and leaving her vulnerable on the desk. Just as quickly as she pulled out Meru plunges herself back into Seishi, earning her a high pitched yelp, Seishi’s breath stuck in her throat as she's relentlessly pounded into.

“Please, I can’t hold it anymore, please please.” Seishi mumbles out, a chuckle makes her muscles tense, clenching down around Meru’s cock.

“I suppose, you’ve been such a good girl after all~”

Rapid loud beeps in Seishi’s ears make her shoot up in her bed, panting heavily. She runs a hand through her hair as she takes deep breaths, trying to calm down her racing heart beat, a thin layer of sweat covering her skin and she sheds her blanket.

“What the fuck was that…” She mumbles to herself.

“Good morning~” The voice makes Seishi’s head snap up, seeing a smirking Meru sitting on the edge of her bed. Before she can think a loud scream leaves her lips at the sight of the succubus in her room.

Toshiko and Izaya being light sleepers quickly jump from the bed from her scream. She quickly throws on some underwear and a shirt, while Izaya does the same and grabbing his knife from his jacket that was still draped onto the couch. Toshiko burst through the door in a panic with Izaya right behind her with his knife out. “Is everything ok!?”

Seishi screams again as they burst into her room, She looks at them and points to the foot of her bed before looking there herself, only for horror to wash over her face at the lack of the succubus in her room. “She was right there. Wha. I- Uhm.” She begins stumbling over her words as she looks back at Toshiko and Izaya then down to her bed in confusion.

They both take a deep breath, Toshiko putting a hand on his arm with the knife out. “I think it's ok to put it back.. I don’t see any evidence of a break in so I don’t think anyone is here.” Izaya putting the knife back and rejoining the girls.

“Was it just a bad dream then?” Izaya still quite surprised at how abruptly he was woken up.

“I don’t know what kind of dream that was… I am so confused.” Seishi looks back at them, the cogs turning in her head as she thinks about the dream she just awoke from.

“Confused about what?” Toshiko taking a seat on the edge of the bed next to her.

Seishi’s face turns bright red as she looks back down at the bed, “well uhm. You see uh.” She clears her throat and closes her eyes as she breathes. “It was like. A weird sex dream?”

“I don’t know how it would be weird..” Toshiko shrugs, “I would think that is pretty normal if you ask me”

“No! Like. I was tied up?” Her face becomes more and more red as she speaks, refusing to look up at Toshiko, “And I really liked it, and she bit me.” She moves her hand up to her neck where she had been bit in her dream, jumping and pulling her hand away only to feel her neck again, feeling the distinct imprints of a bite mark. Her hands begins to shake as she looks at Toshiko, “I-I. shit.” She looks down to her thighs as well, seeing the bite mark and scratch marks on her thighs. “Toshiko…” she whines, tears welling up in her eyes as she thinks about her dream.

Both Izaya and Toshiko look over the marks in shock, “But how… no one was in here?”

“How am I supposed to explain this to Kyohei!? That fucking succubus… and the worst part? I’M STILL FUCKING HORNY FROM IT. WHAT THE HELL EVEN WAS THAT?” Seishi’s hands ball into fists as she cries, “I don’t even know why that dream was so like, like that! I mean, being tied up? Biting? Scratching? She was calling me a good girl and that was on a whole other fucking level. I don’t know what any of that shit is or why it turned me on so much.” She looks up to Izaya sheepishly, “sorry for that dump of info, uhm. Yeah.” She looks back down with a sigh and wipes her tears away.

“You don’t need to apologize those types of things and urges are normal to a lot of people~ who would've thought though you were also into the BDSM of things~” Izaya trying to reassure her.

“I like pain… How is that normal?” Seishi sniffles and brings her knees into her chest, hugging herself.

“I mean it’s textbook masochism when it comes to bdsm… and I mean me and Izaya are t-technically sadists in that category.. So if that is not normal? What are we?” thinking out loud, “I don’t know a lot of this is more normal than you think? Just not always openly talked about unless with trusted people I’d assume..”

“I was still a virgin up until Kyohei and I got together, I was so sheltered that the entire sex world is a giant mystery to me.” She throws her hands into the air in frustration, laying back into her bed with a frustrated huff, “Now I start this new job and this fucking succubus decides to to haunt me! None of this feels normal, but I barely know anything about myself after getting out from under the thumb of our fucking father.”

“I mean this would be the best time to ask questions then..” Izaya being straightforward with a smirk on his face, “And I can promises you your sister definitely has answers~”

Toshiko getting up and lightly hitting his chest, “Hey~ as if you can’t” laughing at his candidness.

“I’m not even sure what to ask… Well, what is BDSM?” Seishi sits back up and tilts her head as she looks at them for an answer.

Izaya exits the room, “I’ll make us some tea..” Looking at Toshiko, “I know you can handle this one.”

Toshiko nods and sighs, “Yea I can get this one..” Turning back to her sister, “BDSM is quite literally an anagram.. Bondage, Dominate, Sadists/Sub, and Masochist and has a massive amount of kinks tied to such stuff.. And it's not all black and white it's more complex as well with sub categories and such as well.” Explaining the best she can.

“This feels like it’s going to be confusing.” Seishi sighs, “I feel like I’m getting the sex talk all over again.”

“It’s not that bad promise when you know where to start asking questions, it really is that simple..promise! And you have us so no worries!” Giving her a bright smile to help ease her worries.

Seishi sticks out her tongue as she thinks, “So I’m a masochist? And I’m assuming a sadist is someone who likes to inflict pain?”

“In a sense yes.. Sadism is a lil deeper and not always physical pain, sometimes it’s mental or just pure unrelenting teasing, masochism is a lil more black and white of enjoying pain but of course everyone has a limit to what pain they can take and that’s when safe words are given to help keep each other safe.” laying it out as simply as possible.

“Ok. So what's it called that I like to be tied up? And why?”

Izaya leans into the doorway, “The tea is ready if you guys want to move this conversation somewhere more comfortable.. And to that question is under the bondage category~” as he walks back out and sits at the table.

Toshiko getting up to join him, “as to why, I don’t think that is easily asked and depends on the person and their position in the sub/dom relationship.. But it really just boils down to us just enjoying it and it being a turn on.”

Seishi stands from her bed and joins them at the table, “I want to know the psychology behind this shit. But let's see next question…” She thinks for a moment, “Ok so what is a sub and a dom? I mean it sounds self explanatory with the names but what are they under BDSM?”

Izaya crosses his leg as he sips his tea, “Sub/dom relationships are pretty simple usually when it comes to what either side wants out of the other and respectful when to stop for the subs' sake. Subs usually like being put in their place, especially brats.. Doms like putting them back in their place as well as brat tamers are doms ooooor they are like your sister and is a switch and most definitely a brat~” giving Toshiko a cheeky grin.

Toshiko pouts, “It’s not like you complain about it..”

“This is a lot.” Seishi looks down at the table in thought, “wait! There has to be like, stuff on the internet to help explain the psychology behind this right? We learned a little bit about the effects abuse can have on the brain as a child in school. Wait gross, could I be into this because of dad?”

Toshiko’s eyes widen at the thought, “Woah woah! That’s not always true, sometimes it's just wired in our brains like that and sets off that serotonin in our brains. Sometimes it's just how it is and how our brain reacts.. Cause if that’s the case some of the things cause of ptsd… cause of my ex I wouldn’t be able to do anymore.. And Dad was easier on me as I tried my best to protect you.”

“I know that when you experience trauma during developmental years can cause you to develop certain habits and issues when you get older, and sometimes trauma when we’re older makes us stop doing certain things but that's not the case with every situation.” Seishi looks deep in thought, “I need my computer and textbooks. I have so much research to do.” She mumbles to herself.

“I’d be careful looking this stuff up online~ you think it’s a lot now.. It’s gonna be a lot more graphic and more overwhelming online in my opinion.” Izaya chuckling at her reaction in his head.

Seishi looks up determined, “If I can handle the headless rider and working under nebula I think I can handle some weird shit on the internet, if anything I might even learn more about myself.”

“Just don’t regret it then~” Toshiko also laughing.

“I mean if she has any questions it's a good thing her sister is such a switch~” He smugly grins as he wraps and arm around her shoulder, and using his foot to scooch her chair closer to him.

“Quit being so horny in the kitchen.” Seishi stands from the table, “I’m gonna go do some research, I’ll call if I have any questions.” she begins walking back towards her room before turning again, “Oh! And I don't have to work for any of my jobs today so I’ll be hanging out with Kyohei later.”

Toshiko playfully putting a hand over Izaya’s face as he tried to get closer, “That could be an issue.. Isn’t he gonna question that all over you?”

She stops again and purses her lips in thought, “Yes, and I’m gonna talk to him about it, I’m not sure how to tell him about everything without mentioning Nebula… Fuck. Should I call Shingen?”

Izaya sits back into his chair and lifts his hand up onto his mouth as he thinks, “If Dotachin can keep a secret, which i know he can~ I don’t think it would be an issue to tell him and not have to inform Shingen… but that is my opinion at least with my knowledge of the situation and people involved.”

“I feel like shit that I’ve held secrets from him, I’m gonna call him to come over now if you guys don’t care?” Seishi stops for a second and shakes her head, “Why am I asking this is my apartment too.”

“I mean we share it.. I would ask too if it was me, but I am totally fine with it regardless.” Taking her first sip of the tea.

Before Seishi turns to enter her room finally she looks at Toshiko, “Maybe go put some pants on?”

“Whhhhhy~ This is comfy right now..” Toshiko pouts.

“Because I think it’d be weird for Kyohei to come over and we’re all lounging around in our underwear together.” Seishi laughs a bit before walking into her room, putting on a pair of shorts, and grabbing her laptop as well as a few of her Psychology textbooks and setting them on the coffee table in the living room. As she plops herself onto the couch she pulls out her phone and dials Kyohei’s number, calling him. When he quickly picks up a smile comes to her face.

“Hey, could you come over sooner? Like now? Awesome!” After a moment she giggles, “Yes please. See you soon!” She smiles as she hangs up the phone and looks at Toshiko, “He’s bringing me coffee.”

“You and you’re dirty bean water” She laughs, getting up from the table begrudgingly getting pants from her room and Izaya right behind her.

“Maaan, such a beautiful sight gone~” Izaya says jokingly at Toshiko.

“God you're such a flirt~ Is there an off switch?” She laughs loudly.

“Nope~ but would really want me to turn it off~” Izaya says with a giant smirk on his face.

“Noooooo i guess not..” as they both sit back down at the table.

Seishi cringes as she opens up her Laptop, vigorously typing away into the search engine, next to her on the couch is an open textbook and on her otherside an open notebook with a pen.

Finishing off their tea and cleaning up after themselves, “I’m gonna have a quick smoke so I’ll be right back.”

Toshiko heads out to the back porch as Izaya sits on the open spot on the couch next to Seishi. “Finding the answers you are looking for~?”

“Yes actually! And there's this cool test you can take that tells you what your ‘kinks’ are and an explanation about them! And from there I will do further research into my top scoring sections and maybe figure out where they come from!” Seishi looks up to Izaya excitedly before turning back to her laptop.

“An online test huh? Doesn’t that take the fun out of it though.. You know of finding them out together~ part of the fun is exploring the new territory together.” Izaya grinning as he looks towards the porch door with that thought.

“Well. Kyohei and I are kinda fresh into our relationship and I guess I’d rather look into this on my own then discuss it later with him so I know what I’m talking about. That and I love doing research! I love learning about new things, you should see my notebook and binder collection of all the things I’ve researched and documented!” Seishi does an excited wiggle and she continues to scroll through different web pages and writing down notes in her notebook, “I took a bunch of extra classes in college just for the sake of having the knowledge.”

“I mean you did mention how you were a virgin and this can be a lot so it is understanding not wanting to jump in blind, but that’s just my preference learning about the person over time and what they like.. Makes me wonder how she figured out her preferences or learned all she does now. With us already losing our firsts before we met probably made it that much easier to fall right into it~” Izaya rambling his thoughts like usual.

“I don’t even know if he’s been with anyone else, and I told him he’s my first so we’ve taken it kinda slow and I appreciate that, I want to learn this about myself on a knowledge level as well as trying things out with him if he’s into trying it with me, I just want to know the ins and outs and what I might prefer before diving in, if i have different preferences outside of my research then the data gets changed you know?” She looks up to him with a soft smile, “I appreciate you guys helping to answer some questions for me, that dream was a doozy. And I need to talk to Meru cause that was. I mean. Almost an invasion of my inner self that I don’t even know.”

“Of course~ Answering questions is my specialty after all! Hopefully you don’t break Dotachin’s brain with all this.” He lets out a quiet chuckle.

Toshiko finally walking back inside and plops down onto Izaya’s lap, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh just thinking about how Dotachin is going to think about everything. He is usually a level headed guy so any other reaction will honestly be quite interesting~” Izaya wrapping his arms around her waist while resting his chin on her shoulder.

Seishi snorts as she lets out a small laugh, “level headed you should see him whe-” she quickly stops herself and clears her throat and looks back at her laptop with a red face.

“Awwwww don’t leave me hanging.. I’m dying to know now with that dangling statement~” Izaya playfully whining.

“He uh. He gets very expressive during sex. Especially when I was sucking his dick.” Seishi mumbles out, not looking up from her laptop.

Izaya covers his mouth trying to hold back letting out a loud laugh, “Man trying to picture that on his cool headed face…” taking a deep breath trying to calm down his chest heaving.

“It’s nice being the only one that gets to see him that way.” Seishi has a small smile on her face as she thinks about it, knocking at the door echoing through the apartment.

0 notes

delirious-robot · 1 year

Photo

I lost both my parents by the age of 27.

I was adopted at birth.

I found out at age 12.

I lost my mother at age 4.

I remember her dearly. I was born in Chicago.

But at age 3, my mother and father and I migrated to Perth Australia, the country of my mother’s (June Goth) heritage which would soon become mine too.

I’ve only ever been in 3 long term relationships in my life by age 43.

One of them I was married to and had 2 kids with.

I was kicked out of home at age 15 because my dad (John Goth) couldn’t handle me anymore. He never remarried.

We moved across the world when I was 14, he moved me out of my school and home where I was really happy and stable in Glendale California to a tiny little sea side town in New South Wales called Shellharbour, and I protested and rebelled.

If I ever tried to talk about it with my “new friends” there they would just roll their eyes at me, scoff at me and say “well why don’t you just go back there.” and then ignore me.

I became left out at school and pretty much an outcast and often sat by myself, being an onlooker, feeling humiliated.

Needless to say, I took whatever available friendships I could get… one of them ended up being a great friend and I have many happy memories with.

But we did a lot of naughty things.

I lived with her and her family for a while, then lived in government housing in Australia in the Illawarra area, because my dad would not accept me back home.

When I was 15 I joined a religious sect in Sydney, because I had a purpose to help people and it was “my calling”, and I was tired of living without my purpose.

That didn’t work out at the time and I was out by age 16, alone, in Sydney Australia.

I started in the work force.

I had a few various jobs but finally landed the best job I never should have quit, to go back to the US when I was 19 - at Telstra in Sydney.

I was making over $50K per year as a high school drop out in the 90s, and my expenses were about $500/month.

I had lots left over at the end of every pay check and could do whatever I wanted - all the freedom I could ever ask for.

I had friends to go out with on the weekends to pubs and clubs and had a great job. What more could I want.

Yet still, I felt something was missing… and there was something gnawing at my mind, that I could not shake…

I was so dumb for leaving Australia to move to the US when I was 19, but I felt that I “wanted to be where the artists area and do acting” in LA.

What a fucking sham.

I was miserable because I was homesick and missed my job and my friends in Sydney for at least 9 months and because of this I tried to branch out and got distracted from my dreams.

Hook line and sinker I became involved in other “dreams” and goals that had nothing to do with who I really was.

I partied my way through my early-mid 20s, only to figure out that none of it actually mattered and I had wasted several years of my life and the people who said they were my friends were actually just using me and didn’t really care about me at all.

The evidence is in the fact that none of those people have talked to me in over 15 years.

I finally realized my mistakes, and tried to get my head screwed on straight.

I started volunteering again and doing self improvement courses.

I learned a lot and had some bright epiphanies.

I made a dumb mistake with a guy I really liked at the time.

Somewhere in the middle of all this…I was painfully missing my dad, and desperately was trying to figure out how to get back to Australia to see him.

Without paying $2500 for a return ticket.

Sadly, I figured out how to get there and back for only $600 many years after he had passed to see a fella I’m no longer with…

When I broke up with a boyfriend when I was 23 (who turned out to be a criminal, and I stayed with him an extra 6 months to try to help him resolve his issues) I borrowed some money from my dad to be able to get into a new residence and cope while I transitioned.

Years later, I didn’t realize, but my dad was really sick, still in Australia, and he really needed the money back for health care because he could not get government assisted health care, even though I had tried to repay him on my hamster wheel paycheck to paycheck lifestyle.

He very patiently asked me to pay him back, and I kept on stalling and could not.

Finally, I found an opportunity to take a job out in Boston MA as a personal assistant which promised me a way to get him paid back fast.

My accommodation and food would be paid for, as well as my travel expenses out there, plus paid a wage plus bonuses for booked appointments for the sales guy I was booking for.

Great.

So, I cancelled my then accommodation, put everything in storage, and left on a whim thinking that everything would be fine and dandy.

My employer at the time really liked me working at their company, and asked me about the situation.

He gave me a severe caution about going.

He said, you shouldn’t do it.

He was a nice wise older man.

Again, I didn’t listen, and I went.

Thinking it was the answer to all my problems and to get my dad paid back so that I could finally fix things with him.

I went to Boston.

It was cool for a while.

My employer however withheld my pay from me each week saying something was wrong with his bank account and we’d get it sorted.

He hit on me.

I let him know I was just there for work.

He didn’t like that.

He flew out my best friend at the time to help keep me company.

Little did I know she was my replacement because he wanted to be rid of me because I rejected him.

He ended up losing his (crap) on me over nothing and flipping out, and telling me to leave, and I had no money.

He said he would give me a few hundred dollars.

He still owed me about $2500 which was the exact amount I needed to pay back to my dad.

Which could have saved his life.

I was traumatized when I left Boston.

This was in 2007.

I left and only made it to Denver CO, with nothing in my bank account and I had run out of money.

I was lucky that my birth mother lived there, as well as my birth sister.

They saved me.

My birth mother ended up offering to pay for me to go back to LA, or get set up in Denver with an apartment.

Having nothing left for me in LA, no home and no job and no one there to really welcome me back or so I thought, I opted to stay in Denver, just get to know them better for a while.

I continued with my self development and self improvement study.

I had an apartment of my own for the first time in my life.

It was so cool until I realized the area was not really that great.

I was in the heart of Denver.

And until I got the phone call.

“Your father was found deceased in Shellharbour Australia."

I couldn’t really process it properly, because it was mixed with so much guilt.

I felt it was my fault.

If only I had only… done things different or been there for him…

if only I had never left Australia.

Had not been so selfish.

If only… a million other things…

The impact of those emotions is almost too much to face. It sends me into a tailspin.

I stayed in Denver another 2.5 years.

Mostly only because I met a guy who wanted to date me, asked me to live with him after a few weeks of dating, and asked me to marry him after only 2 months of knowing me.

Kids, don’t ever ask someone to marry you after only knowing them for 2 months.

I knew this at the time but somehow I went along with it anyway - very stupidly.

He’s an alright guy and I wish we could have just recognized really early on we weren’t a match, and not have this sort of "must have” thing about it and just left it and stayed sort of distant friends.

I tried to break it off many times and he insisted on it and I felt obligated and I obliged…

***please understand, this is different than some other things…***

we knew after a few weeks of being together that it should not be.

We lived together.

There were many instances where we knew it should not be.

It was dumb to continue.

*I never felt in love with him*

and I don’t think he really did with me,

just the idea of being with someone.

I never really felt like he actually knew me.

Just treated me like I was supposed to be someone that I was not.

So, we got married, moved back out to LA, and had 2 kids really quick.

The kids are awesome.

The divorce was not.

No one ever gets married with the idea they are going to just get divorced a few years later.

Of course we tried.

I’m sorry it happened.

It was hard on the kids.

But at least they were still young.

I think it would have been harder on them had it happened later.

Honestly, I would have stayed in it even though I wasn’t happy and continually put down, just to keep a home for the kids…

but I realized that I didn’t want the kids growing up seeing what passed for a marriage between their dad and I as normal.

I wanted them to understand that if you feel miserable and have tried making it better so many times and you still can’t live together happily in a marriage, it’s ok to say hey we should not do this anymore.

And I didn’t want them to grow up seeing their parents not like each other, or truly love each other. I wanted them to see a better example.

I wish it could have been a happily ever after, I always wanted a happy family home.

But.

I am happy that he has moved on, and I am years away from feeling disappointed about it all.

We speak cordially with each other lately anyway when we have to speak about the kids.

(Skip a bunch of stuff I’m not ready to talk about - maybe in a year or two over a bottle of wine lol.)

And there you go.

I am focusing on business stuff. And putting order into things.

And enjoying and admiring life, liking where I live and liking learning things.

And creating my own glorious success story.