#I don’t know how to react to a 10 point lead in February

[thefutureduchessmarie]

*hyperventilating*

#I don’t know how to react to a 10 point lead in February? #I’ve never had this before in my life? #please don’t let it stop #sporting cp

[aureolusfirewrites]

Guess what bitch is back with another chapter of her halloween in February story

Veined in Black

Chapter 2

/Oct. 30/

Rook went down the halls of Plumber headquarters to Ben's room. Ben hadn't shown up for patrol today and Rook was starting to feel nervous. Now Ben normally was late, but even so there was usually a text saying why. He didn't get one of those today though, and Ben also didn't respond when Rook had tried repeatedly to call him. 

Rook stopped in front of the door and let it scan his badge. He was one of the few people that had an override to Ben's door. It slid open and Rook went inside. Nothing out of place... 

"Ben? Are you here?" 

"Mnnm" a sleepy groan came from the back of the room. 

Rook let out a sigh of relief. Ben was laying in his bed with his blankets so twisted around he looked like he might be tangled in them. "Ben you need to get up we have patrol today." 

"Huh? What? Oh- yeah okay gettin up" Ben's voice groaned. Rook watched his partner roll off his cot wrapping himself up again while doing so. Rook sat down and waited while Ben groggily got ready for the day. 

Rook knew Ben had a rough day yesterday between the murder clown costume and the ectonurite but his partner looked so out of it right now.

After a few minutes Ben trudged out of the bathroom rubbing his eyes with his hair still uncombed but with new clothes on. "Alright I'm all set" Ben said stopping to yawn. 

"Are you sure you are good for today you seem tired" Rook's uneasy feeling didn't leave. "Pssh, Rook I'm always tired, just a little more so today I'm fine really let's go!" Rook nodded and sighed. Ben would plow himself into the ground before admitting to being to tired for work.

They stepped out in the hallway and started walking towards the hangar where Rook had the proto-truk parked. The plumbers base had the lights dimmed to give it more of a "spooky halloween setting" but Rook was pretty much convinced that it was an excuse not to have such a high electricity bill. 

Rook buckled up in the driver's seat and glanced over to Ben. The small hero was staring into space it was- in all honesty- disturbing. His eyes were locked in front of him staring out the windshield like he was sleeping with his eyes open as if he wasn't really in his head but rather far away. 

He turned the truck on revving it to life and Ben snapped back to reality shaking his head and rubbing his hands through his hair. "Are you sure you are good?" He was getting concerned now. "Yeah I'm f- fine" Ben stuttered slightly. 

Rook drove out of the hangar onto the streets of Bellwood. It was beautiful out the sun was shining brightly and- and Ben recoiled at it. He let out a small groaned hiss and curled up slightly when it lit up the cabin of the vehicle. But just as soon as it happened he was able to shake it off. 

Ben watched out the window for a long time. They passed a few halloween stores. Despite Ben's generous efforts he wouldn't let his partner lead him in one. Rook was used to it by now, having Ben offer to take him somewhere that he knew would cause him mental harm simply for the fact that Rook hadn't been there. 

"Hey Rook, what are you gonna be?" Ben spoke up after passing yet another costume shop. "Pardon?" "Y'know for the plumber's halloween eclipse party" Ben said. 

"Hm I did not know that I was in need of a costume" Rook knew that humans traditionally dressed up as various things for the holiday but the plumbers party wasn't a costume party as far as he knew.

"It's not about if you need one Rook" Ben said with a smile "it's about fun and dressing up just for the hell of it." Rook couldn't help but smile back. "And what may I ask kind of costume would I even wear to said party?" Ben looked in deep thought for a moment before he spoke. "Hm well I don't know but I bet even seeing you out of your armor counts as a costume for you" His partner made a snorting noise and broke into laughter. Rook grinned and shook his head. 

Ben's laughter broke off into moaning. Rook slowed down as Ben put his hand to his forehead. Ben started falling forward slightly his head hitting the dashboard. "Ben!" He pulled over and looked to his partner.

"Ben what is wrong what is happening?" Ben shook his head. "Ugh I- I dunno Rook my head feels like it's gonna explode but also feels like I'm not really in it."  Rook's frown deepened "maybe we should take you to the med bay at plumber HQ" Rook suggested not liking how Ben was reacting. "No, I'm fine Rook really be- besides it doesn't hurt as much now. I think I'm just tired" Ben said slowly taking his hand away from his forehead and easing back into his chair. 

The hero wasn't exaggerating on one thing though. Ben looked beyond tired. Ben normally had bags under his eyes but now, now they looked horrible and they were darker than he thought any human's should be, and Ben's skin had gone from his normal tan to an unhealthy pale. It was so drastic it almost looked fake. 

Ben must've picked up on Rook's frustration with his blatant disregard for his own health because once again Ben was smirking. "Nice to see you actually care bout me though partner." A healthy pink blush spread across his sickly pale skin along with his smile. 

Rook felt his own flustered blush underneath his fur. "Of course I care about your well-being although you do not make my job at doing so any easier." The red on Ben's face grew up his ears. 

'You are sure that you do not need to go to med bay?" Ben opened his mouth then clamped it shut before saying, "Yeah I'm sure Rook, don't worry I'm just tired. How bout this I'll sleep and you find a costume or something." Rook realized Ben was going to try and push him away unless he had an excuse. "And what do you have prepared for a costume?" Ben's smile grew especially wide. "Don't worry about a thing Rook I've got it all covered." 

Rook rubbed his hand over his face "That is what I am afraid of."

-----------------------------------------------------

Ben had no idea why he felt so crummy. He thought maybe it might be because he hit his head the other day but that couldn't be right, he had taken harder hits than that and always got back fine. Plus the feeling in his head was odd. 

It felt like his adhd was trying to take over his entire head. Sure he spaced out sometimes but this was like he was watching things happen from in his own mind and all the extra space inside was filled with static. He didn't feel entirely in control of himself like maybe he was just sharing his body with something but whatever dots he tried to connect got all blurred and fuzzy before he could come to a conclusion. 

"Ben I am serious. Are you sure you do not want me to stay with you?" No. "Yeah I'm sure it's alright dude just chill out Ive been home alone before besides my dorm is in the plumber base" Rook gave him a skeptical look "Alright I see your point. Sure plumber base isn't the most... Secure place but I've been staying there for months now I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides nothing's gonna get the drop on Ben 10!" 

Ben got to his room and Rook took one last glance at him before letting the door shut. 'He's so cute when he's worried' a sleepy thought broke through his daze. 

Ben yawned and stretched before popping a few tylenol tablets in his mouth. He shook the bottle and it made a hollow noise. 'Hm running low on tylenol...' he'd have plenty of time for that later right now he wanted one thing. Sleep. 

He flopped onto his bed still wearing his clothes he really didn't care at this point. Normally it took a while for him to fall asleep but tonight it came easy. He thanked the sky above for that. 

Soon he would learn to eat those words.

------------------------------------

'Thump'

The teenager's body hit the ground solidly and he walked over to a mirror. Looking in it what stared back at him was a pale face with a wicked smirk and dark pits of eyes. 

He threw his head back and in a raspy voice he cackled out a maniacal laugh. 

"Nothing can keep Ben 10 down indeed."

#rook blonko #ben tennyson #ben 10 fanfiction #ben ten omniverse #ben 10 omniverse #brooken #benrook #rookben #ghostfreak #chapter 2

[violethowler]

The Things That Matter

I’ve talked a lot over the last two months or so about the many different ways that the characters, story, and themes of the Kingdom Hearts series align with the framework of the Heroine’s Journey. For the final chapter in this series of essays, I’d like to talk about what it means for this series to follow this narrative formula. Because the fact that Kingdom Hearts fits into this storytelling pattern is critically important now more than ever. 

The three most recent series I know of that aligned with the Heroine’s Journey framework all ended up missing the landing in various ways. Two of the three - Voltron: Legendary Defender and the Star Wars sequel trilogy - abandoned the formula in their final installments, while the third one - the Frozen movies - managed to fit into the formula almost completely, but suffered in the second movie from a lack of clarity as to which of the two leads is the main protagonist and which is the Animus. Two of these were under the Disney umbrella, and all three have had evidence found that executive meddling or other behind-the-scenes conflicts over story direction played a role in how the final installments ended. 

As I mentioned in my essay “Into the Unknown,” when a story deviates from the structure it appears to be following, it produces a visceral sense of wrongness in the audience. In stories which up toward the end aligned with the Heroine’s Journey, that effect is amplified. The framework of the Heroine’s Journey was designed to uplift the experiences of identities outside of what society considers the default option in storytelling. The lived experiences of those identities are mirrored in the narrative’s themes. So when a story set up around calling out prejudices and double standards about those identities that are ingrained into the audience’s culture deviates from that formula, the result inevitably ends up reinforcing those biases instead, on top of the brokenness of the narrative in general.  

In terms of how this applies to Kingdom Hearts, Sora and Riku’s individual character arcs have been noted by many LGBTQ+ fans to have notable parallels with elements of their own lived experiences:

Riku’s arc of learning to accept his darkness as something natural that’s a part of him and which he can express in a positive way mirrors how many LGBTQ+ people grow up with the idea that same-sex attraction is “sinful” and “unnatural” and have to unlearn that mindset in order to realize that there’s nothing wrong with them. Likewise, Mickey’s line in Re:COM about how spending time with Riku has positively changed his opinion about Darkness can be read as an analogy for straight people who are initially unsure of or hostile to LGBTQ+ identities changing their minds with education and first-hand interaction to become staunch allies. Esmeralda’s talk with Riku about how “There are just some things we need to keep separate from the world at large, at least until we have time to figure them out”[1], while on one level is referencing Riku’s Darkness and his inner turmoil relating to Ansem, can also describe the common LGBTQ+ experience of being in the closet and hiding that part of yourself from the people around you[2]. 

As for Sora, in Kingdom Hearts III he responds to Davy Jones’ comments in The Caribbean about the romantic relationship between Will and Elizabeth by saying that “I still have a lot to learn about love[3],” indicating he lacks understanding of his own feelings in the area of romance. This is supported by the official Kingdom Hearts Character Files book published by Square in February 2020. Short stories in this book featuring Sora’s POV depict him as actively confused about what romantic love is[4], and struggling to define the nature of his relationship with Riku[5][6]. This can be a common experience for LGBTQ+ youth growing up surrounded by media that only ever depicts romantic relationships as one boy, one girl. Many people who grew up like this—myself included—have had similar experiences of struggling to understand our own feelings about someone of the same gender because for our entire lives up to that point we had little or no exposure to the idea that being romantically interested in someone of the same gender as you was an option. 

Sora and Riku are each written in ways that speak to common LGBTQ+ experiences, and the fact that so many things—the canon parallels to Disney romances, the match with how love interests are portrayed in the Heroine’s Journey, the fact that one of the series’ Lead Event Planners Michio Matsuura was described by the Co-Director Tai Yasue to be “head over heels for the bond between Riku and Sora’s hearts[7]”, in connection with his enjoyment of “pure love dramas[7]”—are all pointing to the conclusion that these similarities did not happen by accident, but by design. 

It makes so much sense for Heroine’s Journey narratives to be used to tell LGBTQ+ stories because there are so many ways that homophobia and transphobia overlap with and are rooted in the very same gender and cultural norms that the framework challenges. Many countries have come a long way towards public acceptance of LGBTQ+ identities, but in terms of the stories that we tell, mainstream fiction is still skewed in favor of stories with protagonists who are straight and cisgender. Storylines with straight romance are treated as a society-wide default, while creators in countries like the U.S. who want to include even the smallest background references to LGBTQ+ relationships have had to fight and push back against corporate pressure to remove them. 

This is especially true for media aimed at children and teenagers, as the fact that being openly LGBTQ+ is still widely considered problematic in many countries is frequently used by entertainment executives in ostensibly more progressive countries as an excuse for censoring LGBTQ+ storylines and characters. Multiple creators working on animated shows for Disney and/or its competitors have spoken out in recent weeks about the resistance they faced to including LGBTQ+ relationships[8][9][10] and how they were told that openly acknowledging characters as non-straight was too controversial or “inappropriate for the channel"[9].

As a consequence of this environment, creators wishing to depict non-heterosexual relationships have had to resort to creative methods of getting the implications past the censors in a way that LGBTQ+ audiences would recognize while still maintaining plausible deniability so that the executives could make money off the story in anti-LGBTQ+ markets. The downside to this is that because these efforts are more subtle, most straight audiences will either not notice the implications, or else dismiss them as an accident. Some will go as far as coming up with alternate explanations to justify why any potential LGBTQ+ subtext about a character or relationship could not possibly have been put there by the creator intentionally. 

This extends not only to audiences, but also to people who interact with these stories in a professional capacity, such as translating and marketing a story’s international release. Animated shows that feature same-gender relationships have had international dubs change the gender of one character in the pairing to make it straight, for instance. Or there's the infamous example of how the English dub for Sailor Moon in the 1990s changed two girls from lovers to cousins in order to provide an explanation for their closeness that didn't involve acknowledging that the characters were not straight. In terms of the Kingdom Hearts series, the English localization has routinely downplayed LGBTQ+ subtext in the series while in some cases adding romantic undertones to interactions between a male and female character that did not exist in the original Japanese script. Kingdom Hearts III was one of the most egregious examples of this:

Hercules’ recollection of how he dove into the River Styx to save Megara’s soul in KH2 is thematically connected to Riku sacrificing himself for Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard through the phrase taisetsu na hito (literal meaning: “precious person”) when Hercules is talking to Sora in Olympus and when Mickey is talking to Riku in the Realm of Darkness at the beginning of the game. The English version translates this as “person I love most” for Hercules, while changing it to “what matters” for Riku and Mickey to call back to his meeting with Terra in Birth by Sleep, which the scene includes a flashback to. While Mickey and Riku’s original meaning can still be deduced from the conversation around it, especially with Mickey saying "sometimes you care about someone so much," changing the line for the sake of a callback downplays the evolution of Riku’s goals from protecting “things that matter” to protecting “the *person* who matters”. 

Donald and Goofy’s teasing Sora in the scene at Galaxy Toys where Sora comments on how much he or Riku resemble Yozora is framed in the English version as “Riku would be a great action figure because he’s cool, unlike Sora.” However the original Japanese indicates that the teasing is centered around the fact that Sora said a character who looks like Riku was good-looking.

When Kairi offers Sora a paopu fruit, she says in the original Japanese that it’s simply a good luck charm so that they don’t get separated, while in the English localization, she says “I want to be a part of your life no matter what, that’s all.” While “that’s all” still fits with how the parallels to Winnie the Pooh indicate her connection with Sora has weakened and she wants to maintain it, the first part of the English line calls back to the legend of the fruit introduced in KH1, which was openly referred to as romantic by Selphie in the original and localized versions of the first game. As a result, this adds romantic implications that contrast with Sora’s unreceptive body language and facial expressions[11] as he reacts to the initial offering of the paopu fruit. 

In the original Japanese, Riku’s words to Sora before his sacrifice at the Keyblade Graveyard translate to “I believe in you. You won’t give up.” The English localization changed it to “You don’t believe that. I know you don’t.” Not only does it remove a callback to the original game, but this phrasing dowplays Riku’s faith in Sora and ignores Sora’s very clear feelings of inadequacy. 

During the scene where Sora and Kairi are floating through the dark tunnel toward the Keyblade Graveyard, Sora’s line in English, “I feel strong with you,” was originally an acknowledgement of Kairi’s strength that called back to how he wouldn’t let her come along on the return trip to Hollow Bastion in the first game because he thought she’d “kind of be in [his] way”[12]. Removing this callback takes the focus away from Kairi’s growth and brushes aside one of the ways the game shows that Sora’s view of her has changed over the course of the series.

Some fans defend changes such as these insisting that the development team had to have approved of them. However Testuya Nomura himself feels strongly enough about the subject: he stated in a 2018 interview several months before KH3's release that “an incorrect or defective translation risks compromising the comprehension of the whole story,” referring especially to the Kingdom Hearts series[13], and the English localization of Re:Mind—which was much more accurately translated than the base game—directly references the original meaning of Kairi’s words during the paopu scene in one of the DLC’s Kingstagram posts. This all indicates that changes such as these that remove important connections or change the meaning of the conversation are ones that the development team very much do not approve of. 

LGBTQ+ fans of Kingdom Hearts who recognize their own experiences reflected in Sora's and Riku’s journeys know that Disney has not had a good track record when it comes to depicting LGBTQ+ characters in properties they are affiliated with. The most we ever get in their movies are background moments or nameless characters that are only there in one scene that easily can be cut out for distribution in countries with heavy anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. And that’s if the character’s orientation is even mentioned out loud in the film at all instead of simply being confirmed by interviews before or after release but never acknowledged on-screen. Television has fared better, but until recent years we never had any main characters who were confirmed in-show to be anything but straight. But things are slowly starting to improve. Within the last few years shows like "Andi Mack" and "The Owl House" have depicted major characters as openly interested in others of the same gender[14], and Pixar recently released a short as part of their Sparknotes program called “Out”, which openly centers on a man worrying about telling his parents he’s gay. 

This is why it is so important that the Heroine’s Journey of Kingdom Hearts follow through to a structurally appropriate conclusion, with the development team being given the freedom to tell their story in full without restriction or censorship. Deviating from the formula this late in the series would represent a continuation of the recent trend of Heroine’s Journey narratives being structurally broken by inference from forces other than the main creative team. But if the Kingdom Hearts story is able to complete it’s Heroine’s Journey without executives or localization teams getting in the way of the intended story, then the LGBTQ+ themes already present in Sora and Riku’s journey will break so many barriers,challenge people’s expectations of what is possible, and convey powerful messages of self-discovery and acceptance—just like the framework was designed to. 

Sources

[1] Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance; Square Enix; 2012. 

[2] Tumblr post by @blowingoffsteam2; December 3, 2019. https://blowingoffsteam2.tumblr.com/post/189461796759/blowingoffsteam2-dont-mind-me-over-here-just

[3] Kingdom Hearts III; Square Enix; 2019. 

[4] Translation of KH Character Files Beast’s Castle story by @lilyginnyblackv2; February 3, 2020. https://lilyginnyblackv2.tumblr.com/post/611420864489062401/character-files-beasts-castle-story-english

[5] Translation of KH Character Files Arendelle story by @lilyginnyblackv2; March 3, 2020. https://lilyginnyblackv2.tumblr.com/post/611490139845345280/character-files-arendelle-story-english

[6] Translation of KH Character Files Arendelle story by @notaseednotyet; March 1, 2020. https://twitter.com/notaseednotyet/status/1233993459670765569

[7] “Message from the KINGDOM” Updates!; April 11, 2012. https://www.khinsider.com/news/-Message-from-the-KINGDOM-Updates-2427

[8] “”Steven Universe” and “She-Ra” creators on Representation”; Paper Magazine; August 5, 2020. https://www.papermag.com/rebecca-sugar-noelle-stevenson-2646446747.html

[9] Twitter thread by Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch; August 9, 2020. https://twitter.com/_AlexHirsch/status/1292328558921003009

[10] Twitter thread by Owl House creator Dana Terrace; August 9, 2020. https://twitter.com/DanaTerrace/status/1292321440029478917 

[11] Frame by frame analysis of Sora and Kairi’s body language during the KH3 paopu scene by @notaseednotyet; September 14, 2019.  https://twitter.com/notaseednotyet/status/1172774158167506944

[12] Kingdom Hearts; Square Enix; 2002. 

[13] “Nomura stresses the importance of direct translations on story comprehension, and talks about world development as well as the Gummi Ship;” August 27, 2018. https://www.kh13.com/news/nomura-stresses-the-importance-of-direct-translations-on-story-comprehension-and-talks-about-world-development-as-well-as-the-gummi-ship/ [14] Disney’s The Owl House Now Has a Confirmed Bisexual Character; August 9, 2020. https://io9.gizmodo.com/disneys-animated-series-the-owl-house-now-has-a-confirm-1844665583

#kingdom hearts and the heroine's journey #kingdom hearts meta

[thepursuitofunderstanding]

February 10/2021

I wonder if part of the reason that I haven’t become completely undone in regards to my bipolar cycling is because of our relationship? That is, you make me aware of myself and hold me accountable. It seems that many people with bipolar disorder just sort of plummet or fly without really noticing their movement until suddenly they can’t not notice it anymore. How do I explain this? For, this lack of awareness of one’s internal self doesn’t seem to merely be an attribute of people with bipolar disorder. Rather, many, many people seem to partake in this manner of living, this tendency to exist on autopilot most of the time. To not really be present with and through themselves, and therefore also not observing themselves. This tendency to exist on autopilot, to pawn oneself to the world as Kierkegaard would say, or “falling prey” in Heideggerian terms (I think), is merely a bigger issue with it comes to bipolar people. As many things are I suppose, for the stakes are infinitely higher when one is bipolar. 

For, when one is bipolar and not watchful of oneself, it seems then to be a sort of snowball effect. At least, from my understanding of bipolar disorder thus far. Like how when one starts to feel a bit depressed they tend towards things which actually make their depression worse. Things like withdrawing, eating shitty food, isolating, ceasing to exercise, ceasing to do the things that they once enjoyed, etc., etc.. This is the vicious cycle, it feeds on itself. The more that one starts to display the “symptoms” (if you will), of depression, the more depressed that one becomes, and then the more pronounced the symptoms become and on and on and on until one can hardly get out of bed anymore. 

This sort of plummeting of one’s mental health is self-overcoming. That is, it is forever outgrowing its bounds. So if one doesn’t notice or pay attention to the shifting, it transforms from something small (small seems like the wrong word. Depression never feels small. Even a touch of depression can devour a person.) into a massive gaping hole. 

This self-overcoming that I detect in bipolar disorder is easier for me to conceive in regards to depression. But perhaps that’s only because I’ve had so much more experience with depression; I’m intimately attuned to the nature of depression. I think that I can really only say that I’ve had one pure and continuous experience of mania. I’ve had touches of mania at other times, but it’s never gone on and on for months on end like what I’m experiencing right now. Or the manic episode that I had those few years ago. Thus, it’s still hard for me to detect in myself. Because when one exists in such a state for an extended period of time, one forget what “normal” was before and this new elevated state becomes the new normal. Ahh yes! It is this continuously shifting threshold of “normal” that seems to characterize bipolar disorder. Other people seem to have a rather set and stable “normal”, an anchor point, if you will. For us bipolar folks, this anchoring doesn’t really exist, we’re endlessly transitory. Our “normal” raises and lowers (and sometimes completely disappears) depending on our life circumstances and our mood. 

To return to the idea that started this whole wandering, I have you. You force me to look at myself. Thus I can see that I’m sliding into mania a bit here. And thus, maybe? I can attempt to disrupt, or at least lessen, the cycling which could lead to an accumulation of too much mania. If this is even possible in the first place. For there certainly does seem to be a level of bipolar cycling that is entirely out of my control. But there is also a certain amount of this that is in my control: I can decide how I react to, and interact with this cycling of mine. That is, I can remain on autopilot and become a pawn to this bipolar cycling or I can turn towards it and attempt to grapple with it. But, and this is very important, turning towards and grappling is not just an activity/decision that one engages in once. To bring Kierkegaard back into this (was he ever really out of it?), it is not like getting a sickness once and then just forever carrying it with one. One must, every moment, choose to turn towards this grappling. It must be continuously chosen and renewed. And this is exactly where you help me, because I know that I couldn’t maintain this turning towards and grappling if you didn’t hold me to it. Thus, in a very real sense, you have indeed saved my life--just as I have always said and known. But now my understanding of exactly how you do this has materialized for me to articulate. 

Perhaps the reason that I haven’t plummeted or flown to irrevocable heights and/or depths is because I have been so intimately aware of my movements. Because I’m so aware I haven’t got truly lost in any of these movements, not for any extended length of time at least. I’ve known where I am for the most part. Although it could also just be said that perhaps my bipolar cycling also just isn’t as intense (yet?) as some other people’s. Maybe it’s a collection of these things? Who the hell knows. 

All that I can discern is that it’s absolutely imperative that I do not ever stop writing. Such a thing could very well be a decision that culminates in the loss of my life. I am 100% serious about this, the stakes are clear to me here. I will die if I don’t write... This used to be something that I would claim in a more figurative sort of sense, but now I understand that the truth of this claim to be literal as well. I will die if I don’t write. 

So, alas, it seems that our relationship will have to persist until my death. You’re stuck with me, and me with you. What a glorious thing, a marriage of sorts. No matter how strained or brutal our relationship might get (I’m thinking here in terms of when I start trying to publish and all the inevitable rejection letters cause me to curse you) I can never leave. Now, the question, can you ever leave me? Is that a possibility? Or is “leaving” an option that is only open to me? Something to consider... Could writers block be conceived of as you leaving me perhaps? I don’t really know, I can’t say that I’ve ever really had writer’s block before. Of course, I’ve also never been this focused on writing before either. 

#february #journal entry

[moneypedia]

How to Defend Against False Accusations: A Personal Defense and 5 Guidelines to Protect The Truth

August 5, 2018 By Drew Shepherd

[Note: This post contains details about an undiagnosed case of borderline personality disorder (BPD). These details are included for informational purposes only, not to spread hate towards people with the illness.

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with BPD, however, you may want to avoid this article.]

Guilty until proven innocent.

That’s the new norm these days.

Our current social climate has made it empowering to be a victim. And any abusers left standing must be exterminated—whether they’re guilty or not.

Please don’t think I’m downplaying the experience of actual victims though.

I know what it’s like to be among the lowest of society, and the struggle of real victims is part of the inspiration behind this site.

But the inconvenient truth is that all these “abusers” aren’t the monsters they’re made out to be.

Why do I say that you ask?

Because I’m one of them.

And this is my story.

The Accusation(s)

During my early twenties, I got involved with a girl who I later realized had borderline personality disorder (BPD).

I’ve already written about the experience and I’ve alluded to it multiple times since. So please read that article before this one if you haven’t already.

BPD is a serious mental illness, but most people have never heard of it, let alone know how to diagnose it.

If you’re not aware of how people with the disorder act, this post will come off as a rant against an innocent girl who liked me—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

But to summarize, the most notable symptom of BPD is the inability to regulate emotions. It’s a symptom so powerful that a sufferer’s feelings can define his or her reality. And this is what leads to many false accusations.

Manipulation, emotional abuse, cheating, promiscuity—she publicly accused me of all them.

It’s part of the process of “painting someone black.” The BPD person goes through cycles of both extreme love and hate for their loved one, but once the relationship ends, the other party is permanently devalued.

Of course this treatment is reserved for those in close relationships with the BPD sufferer. Outsiders will only see a victim pleading her case.

I’ve stayed quiet on these accusations so far since most of them don’t have any substance, but I unfortunately made one mistake that appears to give her claims some validity.

So I’m sure that she already has, or eventually will use this evidence against me. And if her false accusations were to gain traction, they would not only destroy my reputation, but also the legitimacy of the message I present on this site.

The latter is my primary reason for defense.

I’ve always said that the Bible is the basis for my moral judgment, and that couldn’t be more important than in sexual matters.

Now do I always control my lustful impulses and thoughts?

And do I always prevent myself from viewing images I shouldn’t see?

No.

I’m a Christian but I’m still a sinful human being. Controlling lust is part of the lifelong battle against sin in the Christian life.

But when it comes to things like fornication and adultery, I’ve held true to my stance on abstinence.

And as tough as it is to be a twenty-something with this stance in our sex-saturated world, it’s beyond frustrating to be accused of doing the complete opposite.

I’m an ambassador for what I believe. And I can’t allow anything on this site—faith-related or not—to be diminished because of one person’s claims.

So I’ll go into detail here about what really happened, and then I’ll show you how to defend against false accusations once and for all.

Drew “The Player”

I’ll preface my story with a little background information.

I was going into my last semester in college, and it had been about a year since I saw my accuser in person.

Things didn’t end well between me and her the last time we were “together.” But I was admittedly still interested in her—even with all the red flags.

It appeared that both of us were sad with the way the first go ‘round ended. So I foolishly tried to work something out with her before the semester started.

To my surprise, I was ignored and indirectly shot down.

How a normal girl would’ve reacted

It hurt pretty bad after putting myself out there for someone I thought still cared. But rejection is a part of life, so I moved on.

What’s crazy though, is that she changed her mind at some point afterwards. And even though I never got a direct response from her, she apparently assumed we were in a quasi-relationship.

Now fast forward to February.

It was the week of Valentine’s Day. And while I did still think of her, I wasn’t sending a Valentine’s Day anything to a girl who I didn’t trust, who now lived in a different state, and who couldn’t even respond to my direct communication.

The only reason I entertained the thought of us getting back together—if we were ever truly together in the first place—was because she hoovered me back in.

Hoovering is a term that describes actions similar to what its namesake, the Hoover vacuum does.

It’s a tactic people with personality disorders subconsciously use to suck loved ones back in after a failed relationship.

In this case, she used one of the social media apps we both had to convince me that she was open to a renewed relationship, and that she had changed for the better.

But at this point, I was just focused on schoolwork because I had no clue what this girl was thinking.

I had a senior project for an external company that took most of my time that semester.

My project group and I met just about every weekday. And at the time, we were all trying to meet a deadline coming up the next week.

The day after Valentine’s Day, one of my teammates mentioned that we should go play trivia at a local bar. But being the introverted party-pooper I am, I declined.

My schedule involved waking at around 5:30 each day. My teammates were always out too late for my liking, and I knew I’d never make it back in time to get enough sleep if I went.

So I gave the whole, “Thanks, but no thanks” spiel even though I knew they wouldn’t let me off that easy.

Our team was a pretty tight group—especially for four people who were assigned to each other at random.

We had a ton of inside jokes by the end of the semester. And they were the first to tease me at graduation because my honor stole nearly fell as I walked across the stage.

So naturally, they all had a good laugh at me for not wanting to miss my bedtime.

Of course it was all playful fun though. I did get back at them numerous times over the semester, but I’ll admit that I have an off-kilter personality that lends itself to being teased.

So anyway, we went our separate ways and I headed to bed.

The next day, I saw an email from the night before saying that I was invited to a school-specific social app. I didn’t see the email until the early morning though because I went to bed early.

I had never heard of the app before and I was skeptical. So my first thought after waking and reading the email was, “What the heck is (app name here)?”

My second thought was, “Who’s the funny guy who sent this?”

Now I knew it was someone who previously had my email address.

Of course any student could have pulled that info from the school’s directory, but I doubt anyone would have gone through the trouble of searching their class roster, finding me, and then using my email address for the sake of hitting me up on an app.

So it had to be someone with whom I worked with closely or had a personal relationship with.

With these facts in mind, I falsely concluded that it was a prank from my teammate that the rest of the group was in on.

They had just gone out together the night before. And they always found a way to mess with me—even when I wasn’t around.

So just like any other time I felt I was being pranked, manipulated, or taken advantage of, I played along with the hope that the other party wouldn’t realize until it was too late (and this has been my M.O. since I was a kid).

But doing this, in hindsight, was a terrible idea.

Any form of participation on what I later realized was a hookup app would paint me in a bad light. And the consequences of my actions weren’t as clear at 5:30 in the morning.

After I made a quick profile—complete with pictures no man would ever use if he was truly seeking casual sex—I waited about 15 minutes for a response that never came.

Then after realizing how bad my actions could appear without context, I quickly deleted the app and went on with my day.

I’m not sure if I completely wiped the profile I created. But since the app was lesser-known and low key about its hookup aspect—it’s not like I signed on to Tinder—I figured this wouldn’t be a problem.

Outside of my own actions with the invite and the app though, I don’t know anything else. But there’s a chance that a troll profile made 10 minutes after I woke could end up biting me. And that’s why I’ve chosen to address it.

Now, I’m almost certain this invite was from my accuser. And I still kick myself for not recognizing the true source of the bait.

My actions gave her the apparent confirmation that I was “playing the field.” And within the week, she either started, or just made it obvious that she was sleeping with another guy to spite me—a wild and disproportionate response to the thought that your S.O. may be seeing someone else.

So once I confirmed that this actually happened, I ghosted her and all her drama, focused on my schoolwork (which led to my first 4.0), and then went along with my life.

People with BPD are notorious for doing stuff like this. It’s the reason why a popular book covering the illness is called Stop Walking On Eggshells (affiliate link):

They’ll cry about a lack of communication but then ignore you when you reach out to them.

They’ll go on about how lonely they are while sleeping with one of their (or even your) “friends” behind your back.

They’ll say you’re too stupid to complete a task but discredit you when you do it, and then raise the bar higher so you won’t reach the new mark.

After a while you won’t know what to do because she’ll never be satisfied. And everyone else will chalk it up to you not knowing how to treat a woman.

No-win situations and constant testing are common to those in relationships with these people—especially in regards to anything sexual. So I presume the invite was a test to see if I was some dirtbag who would cheat on his partner.

Now I’d hesitate to call it cheating either way since she ignored my attempts to directly communicate, and I had no idea what our relationship status was.

But the other “fact” she gathered was that I was a player who enjoyed casual sex (an assumption that would have driven a younger me mad with laughter).

Look, I understand that I don’t have a squeaky-clean Christian boy appearance—going through trials doesn’t purify the outside after all.

But that doesn’t mean I partake in the same activities those who look like me may be into. And it for sure doesn’t mean that my moral character is anything different than what I present on this site.

Of course it doesn’t help that I’m black either…but I won’t go down that road.

I should also note that I don’t have a personal Facebook or Instagram account. So it’s tough for others to know much about my life unless they read this site or talk to me or my loved ones personally.

This blank space makes me an easy target for accusations since I can be unknowingly attacked through mediums where I can’t defend myself. And there are no videos of me playing with my dog to fill the holes left by my “shady” lifestyle.

Usually this isn’t a problem as most of the people I meet don’t care about my online presence. But of course there’s always one person who assumes the worst case scenario. And it’s sad that in my case, this person was someone I genuinely liked before.

These obsessive behaviors were nothing new though:

This same girl cried sobbed in the middle of one of our classes—when we were both in our twenties mind you—because I didn’t initially return her interest.

She would go from spaced-out to depressed and then stare at me like it was my fault.

She even accused me of cheating after seeing a pic my mom took of me when I was at dinner with my family.

So you can imagine the relief I felt when I closed the door on that for good.

At this point, the only ones who still believe her lies—or to be fair to the illness she has, her reality—are people I’ve never met.

But I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just annoyed that my life is still negatively affected because I fell for the wrong girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the honest truth.

How to Craft Your Defense

So now that my story’s out of the way, how do you fight your own false accusations?

It’s not too difficult.

Just follow these 5 guidelines to protect yourself in both the present, and the future:

1) Remember the Alibi

As tempting as it is to piece together a story that makes you look like a saint, you have to ensure the truth you present is actually…well, true.

Since I couldn’t remember all this off the top of my head, I dug through my old emails and group conversations to get the timeline right. And I could always use them again if legal action was involved.

It also helps that I have an archive of posts here that clearly present my personality and the mistakes I’ve made.

You can even compare this post to the one I wrote on BPD earlier and you’ll see numerous similarities. If anyone thought I was lying, they could search the other 40+ posts here too to see that the story adds up.

But if you don’t have thousands of words as supporting evidence, just take your time, breathe, and write down what happened as best as you remember.

False accusations can cloud your memory when you first hear them, and your emotions will push for a raw defense. But if you start writing what you remember, you can put that passion to good use now, and update your writing later with more facts.

A story set in writing will be a great resource to have. You don’t want to lean on your memory or your speech when the pressure’s on.

If you write down what happened, you’ll also find other bits of evidence you’ll need to prepare your defense. And if your audience is really concerned with the truth, they’ll take all the info they can get.

2) Compare the Fruit

Perhaps the easiest way to expose the shakiness of false accusations is to note the shakiness of the accuser’s lifestyle.

This is by far my least favorite technique though since it appears to be an attack on character instead of the accusation itself. But understand that those two targets aren’t mutually exclusive.

A person who usually acts one way is almost certain to do it again.

And no, that fact isn’t judgmental. It’s simple probability.

This is going to sound like I’m bragging about my accomplishments and attacking her character, but let’s compare some notable points about my life and my accuser’s:

I improved to at least a 3.5 GPA in my last four college semesters within a STEM major. But I’ll admit my accuser was booksmart, so we’re pretty much even there.

I have never gotten blacked-out drunk (or even consumed alcohol). I have never taken an illegal substance. And I have never lived a promiscuous lifestyle. My accuser has done, and probably still does, all three.

I landed a stable job in my field more than a month before I graduated, and I’m still employed there today. My accuser barely held a job as a bar server about a year after graduating with the same degree.

Again, I don’t like expressing my achievements, and I never want to attack anyone’s character. We all make mistakes, and I made one of the biggest mistakes any student ever will (which she contributed to by the way).

But when someone’s lifestyle displays a clear pattern of incompetence, recklessness, and mental instability, the validity of their claims also takes a hit.

And that’s without mentioning that I’ve written the equivalent of a book here at HFE—a site where I cover my own shortcomings just as much, if not more than my accomplishments—on my own time and dollar because I believe it will help others.

So knowing all this, let me ask you, who do you think is telling the truth?

A tree’s fruit always gives it away.

Know who you are and know who you’re dealing with so any other lies are dismissed as the jokes they are.

3) Change “I” to “We”

The most unfortunate thing about false accusations is that no one’s waiting to hear a verdict.

As soon as those words leave your accuser’s mouth, you will be facing much more than one person.

Friends, family, social circles, even whole communities may turn against you.

And what began as a defense against one liar becomes a battle against an entire army.

So what do you do when this multitude of warriors stands against you?

It’s simple.

You gather the troops.

Find people who can vouch for your story. Get help from friends who aren’t blinded by the lies. Ask people who were neutral bystanders to explain what happened since they’re not biased.

I know I can get anyone from former classmates, friends, and family members to acknowledge the truth of my claims.

And since I know the mental issues my accuser deals with, I can also refer to a psychologist or another mental health resource.

An understanding of my accuser’s mind is one of the best counters to her claims. Yes, she acts in unstable ways, but they’re predictably unstable, and numerous people have experience with the problem I have now.

You shouldn’t be afraid to get professional help either.

Lawyer up if it’s serious enough.

Slander and libel are legit crimes. And if you can prove that your life is heavily impacted, especially financially, you may have a case.

So don’t go at this alone. You can bet your accuser isn’t.

4) Go One and Done

The biggest mistake people make when presenting any argument, defense, or reasoning is that they over-explain themselves.

Sure, you want to be as thorough as possible in your explanation, and you should reference points of that original argument to answer questions. But there’s no need to add to your stance or sate a mind that will never believe you.

If you’ve taken the necessary steps to present and defend the truth, you have to live with the results.

Learn to be comfortable with the fact that everyone won’t like, listen to, or believe you. Because the more you add to your original defense, the weaker it will appear.

You’ll also introduce more room for error. And it would be a shame for a memory lapse to cause an otherwise solid defense to fail.

Remember that it’s only your job to present the truth. Not to make others believe it.

I’m confident that my defense removes any ammo my accuser has left. So now the only claims she can bring against me are accusations of neglect—which don’t matter since I’m not her parent—or causing hurt feelings—which isn’t a crime in America yet.

I presented the truth one time, and now there’s no need to address her claims again.

Every accusation doesn’t deserve a response. So stay true to what really happened, and let people think what they want afterwards.

5) Don’t Even Fake It

These accusations have made me realize the importance of the Bible’s command to, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22 KJV)

It’s not enough to just avoid evil acts. You have to avoid situations where you could possibly do them too.

For instance, plenty articles on false accusations describe how to protect yourself against false rape claims. But if someone can accuse you of something like rape without an obvious fabrication, you are in over your head.

You can’t reach the point where a verdict is decided by a “yes” or “no.”

It’s one of the many reasons you shouldn’t sleep around in the first place. You are putting your life in the hands of someone who could easily change their mind in the morning. And you have to stay out of that gray area.

Remember to guard your character at all times. You never know when you’ll need to fall back on your integrity.

For example, I remember one conversation I had with a friend a few years back, and my accuser happened to be in the room.

My friend noticed that I received a few glances of interest from girls. So out of the blue he asked, “Drew, how many girls do you get?”

He chuckled while asking the question, so of course it wasn’t anything serious. He didn’t ask about anything explicitly sexual either.

So being the joker I am, I said something along the lines of, “I don’t know. I lost count.”

Then the both of us laughed it off.

But there’s a chance my accuser heard those words and immediately assumed the worst.

It would have been ridiculous to say something like:

“I’m sorry sir, but I am a Bible-believing man of God who has accepted the challenge to live righteously. How dare you imply that I live such a heinous lifestyle?!”

So I had a quick laugh and moved off the subject.

But even this could have added to her claims. So now I try not to even joke about stuff like that—at least not when I’m around people who barely know me.

You should do the same. But don’t limit your efforts to watching your tongue:

Always dress in a respectable manner.

Avoid the crazy nighttime venues—they’re magnets for people like my accuser.

And please don’t go to a hotel room belonging to a member of the opposite sex.

Presentation always matters.

Avoid the appearance of evil, and it’ll be impossible to even accuse you.

Grant Me That Chance

I’ve had enough headaches from my past relationship, and I’d rather not think about it anymore.

But it was important to defend myself here before any other false info leaked.

I hope none of it came across as too aggressive though. I wrote all of this to clear my name, not to get revenge.

From all I’ve seen, read, and now experienced, real victims don’t go out of their way to destroy their abuser’s life. They just want justice and a chance to finally move on.

So if anything else comes up about this, please remember this point and grant me that chance.

Contrary to what some people think, I don’t hate my accuser, and I hope she’s able to turn her life around.

If there was a normal version of her who didn’t have what she had, I’d love to meet her. But the ship has sailed on anything between me and the real her.

All I want now is peace and the freedom to live a good life. And I’m sure that’s all you want too.

So remember who you are, take a stand for the truth, and then defend it with your life.

And who knows? Someone else may come to your defense if you do.

-Drew

#truth

[astroiarium]

━━☆⌒*.박채영 /  Rosé’s Birth Chart Analysis

Rosé is Blackpink’s resident vocalist and lead dancer but as it turns out, her unique voice and charming personality reveal a soul that is more than the eye can see. 

☆ These are my interpretations of the inner planets in her chart. It may be different from other's interpretations but is still valid as everyone has different takes on birth charts. This does not strictly represent who this person is as birth charts are just indications of who a person might be, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt. ☆

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

Rosé of BLΛƆKPIИK

Position: Main Vocalist, lead dancer

Born on: February 11, 1997

Birthplace: Auckland, New Zealand

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・ 

Sun in Aquarius (22°), Mercury in Aquarius (2 °), Venus in Aquarius (9 °)

I decided to group all three planets together to flow easily from one placement to the next. In a nutshell, she acts, talks, and loves like an Aquarius! Rosé’s chart forms a beautiful cradle shape with Aquarius, Aries, and Libra dominating her inner planets. The mix of fire and air elements create a great conversationalist who always stands up for what they believe is right. 

Starting with her sun in Aquarius, Rosé is someone who naturally stands out from the crowd. I have no doubt she was a popular girl in her high school years. Aquarius natives exude mystery. At first glance, they seem like they aren’t truly there. Their physical body may be present but in their mind, they are in a separate plane of existence entirely. And that’s exactly what makes people fall for them. For Rosé, it’s easy for me to tell what made her my Blackpink bias. She fits my preppy happy go lucky girl who at first seems shy, but once they’re comfortable their high energy is off the charts.

It used to be that she was labeled as Blackpink’s quietest member according to her profile. But as seen from their reality show, she could rival Lisa’s boisterous Arian energy! Aquarian natives are exactly like this. They are sociable but at the same time, detached from the world around them. This air element would make Rosé opinionated as well. She would most likely enjoy activities such as debating, which require intrapersonal skills as well as critical thinking and logic. These people value knowledge. They view others as sources of this as they like the idea of different perspectives. This means they most likely have big friend groups from all walks of life. Rosé is, of course, no exception to this. With her Aquarius sun being in the second decan, this would give rulership to Mercury which indicates natural-born social skills. Her friends from idol groups all around serve as proof. There are also times where her Arian moon gives her bursts of spontaneity to just casually strike a conversation with someone she deems interesting. You will find that Rosé is an easy person to converse with as she is the right amount of comical and earnest especially in topics she takes interest in. She adores unconventional themes that affect how others see her as a person. As a singer, her individualistic nature is expressed in her unique vocal timbre. She’s been praised many times in the industry for this such as when critic Almira Blancada remarked that “You would know it’s Rosé singing in a heartbeat.” For many, this is her most appealing feature. You will feel drawn to her voice which could be compared to that of a siren’s. 

“More of you, less of me” -  Rosé’s favorite phrase.

So much Aquarius influence in her chart will conjure unorthodox ideas in her head. Rosé’s definitely one to think outside of the box and look at things from a different perspective. As mentioned earlier, her natural-born social skills are an advantage to help her gain knowledge through the people she interacts with. Like a sponge, she soaks up ideas, thoughts, and beliefs of the people around her. But a downside to this is that she may find difficulty in defining her own beliefs and morals, so it is constantly changing. To make up for this, she practices a strict religion. It is a known fact that Rosé is a Christian who regularly attends mass. In her youth, she has also sung choir for school so there is a possibility that she was raised in this religion. This gives me the feeling that she’s been taught all her life to tone down her Aquarian nature to be different and instead conform to traditional practices. Not to worry, there are still other ways in which this Aquarius influence can manifest. She is musically inclined so she expresses herself through her craft with ease. She would most likely take interest in the field of humanities and social sciences. And with her Aquarius in Mercury, she will openly discuss those topics with other people. She is an idealist to a fault and likes to voice her concerns with the world in its current state. Since Mercury is home to the air element, she will have no trouble vocalizing her inner thoughts. But there is still a drawback to this. Even though ideas come to her easily, they will come in bulk. The difficulty will present itself in trying to vocalize all of them clearly and concisely. There will be times when her expression rubs people the wrong way. Despite her intentions being pure, the delivery might be way off which is a factor essential to communication. As a result, she will appear scatter-brained or insensitive. Aquarians need mental stimuli like they need air lol. There is a primal instinct to question the status quo for her and ask thought-provoking questions. Since this planet deals with communication, some topics she brings up may not be taken lightly as she would. Of course, Rosé has probably resolved this by conversing only with people who share the same thought pattern and ideas as her. A developed Aquarius in Mercury heightens the impact of her words which she can weaponize if deemed necessary.

An Aquarius in Venus falling in love is a wonder to everyone else so to speak. They are scared of the idea of love and commitment yet when they’re in love, they’re completely lovesick. Venus in Aquarius is vague when communicating their love calls. You think they like you but only after you've decided to "return the feelings" they'll say they only see you as a friend. Or in its antithesis, they might really like you but you’ll only find out long after they’ve moved on when they mention it randomly in a conversation. You can still pick up the subtle nuances of an Aquarian in love. They adore individuality and point it out in conversations with someone that has caught their eye. They will like talking to this person in general and look forward to forming a strong mental connection with them. They’re flirty with everyone but this person will have the honor to see the vulnerable parts Aquarius hides behind the extroverted exterior if they play their cards right. Those who naturally stand out appeal to a Venus in Aquarius the most. Rosé’s ideal type being someone nice, genuine and with a nice voice specifically confirms this.

Being in a relationship with Rosé will be a love comprising of late nights talking about the universe and purpose in life. Aquarius is a fixed sign, they are stubborn and astute in just about everything. When it comes to love, she will become blinded by a devotion without question and it seems that’s why they find the concept of love so scary. She won't be possessive and understands her partner will need time for themself. She will speak to them in a way only the two of them will understand. A secret love language if you will. This lucky person will be present in the planning of her future and with her moon in Aries, she’ll take on the challenge of making it her present.

Moon in Aries (10 °)

Rosé’s Arian moon gives her a sense of impulsivity. Fire moons feel with their whole body. They have profound emotions that have to be addressed immediately and can’t be kept bottled inside. Because of this, Rosé is a sensitive person who can cry easily at the first cause of frustration. She likes the idea of communicating her concerns and insecurities to people but finds it hard to when actually put on the spot. Deep down there is a lingering feeling of not being good enough and so she tries to excel in everything. A con for this placement is that it’s a self-serving one. While in a healthy amount, this might seem like a positive  seeing as Rosé would be more in tune with her emotional self. It will become negative when she allows herself to react before thinking rationally. This will lead to her exploding in an argument say things she doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. This can still apply to a casual conversation as well when she unwittingly says something that provokes the other person. This placement projects out of her when the need arises and overwhelms her Aquarius sun in outbursts of intense emotions. Aries is the first of the zodiac signs which gives a childlike naivety to Rosé's subconscious. This makes her adore instant gratification. If she wants something she has to get it, no matter what stands in her way. No matter who stands in her way. Aries moons can be competitive as well. To her, if all of it were for nothing, then what’s the point? This is what she keeps in mind when faced with a challenge that tempts her, which is what sets her apart from the impetuousness of a Sagittarius. On the other hand, this is what enables her to just be herself. Aries dislike being told what to do. They lead, not follow. In Rosé’s case, her Aquarius sun tells her to stand out and her Aries moon tells her to embrace it even if she gets called weird. This fiery element in her core also empowers her to take big risks—like auditioning for a big company like YG entertainment at the age of 15. Although she initially thought her father’s prompt for her to do it was just a joke seeing the difficulties in becoming a K-pop idol, she still went ahead and did it anyway. And if that doesn’t explain the sheer drive of an Aries, I don’t know what will. She dislikes the idea of limitation but whether or not she likes it, some things just won’t go her way. I noticed she also needs physical stimuli, which manifests in habits such as biting her fingers when no one is looking which she admits to doing.

Mars in Libra (5 °)

Libra is in detriment in Mars. This basically means that this sign isn’t comfortable in this planet and doing things related to what it governs, which for Mars is passion, assertion, and separation. Libra’s planet of rulership is Venus, which is the exact opposite of this planet. Because Mars is a malefic planet, it urges the natives to do actions according to what this planet represents. In Rosé’s case, she just goes about it the Libra way. The typical Libra characteristics are that they are the peacemakers and hopeless romantics. They go about life in a way that their aspirations are larger than life but then they don’t put in the effort to attain them and just expect it to fall on their lap (not unlike a Pisces.) This gives me the impression that with this placement, Rosé has a side of her which makes her lack motivation to set and accomplish practical goals. As I previously mentioned earlier, what started as just a simple joke auditioning for one of the biggest entertainment companies led her to her path of stardom. If she didn’t have her impulsive Aries moon to empower her to believe in her talents on that particular day, then maybe she wouldn’t even be a part of Blackpink today! In everyday life, Libras avoid confrontation by all accounts. Unfortunately, Mars is also a planet of war and conflict as in Greek Myths, its counterpart is the war god Ares. As you can tell, this makes Rosé secretly like stirring the pot and she does it without thinking. This manifests in taking the opposing side in discussions and bringing up controversial topics. Although Libras are already known to love drama without outright expressing it, this placement basically confirms it. Without a strong Venus to create an equilibrium between these two planets, this may strongly affect her temperament in a way that her Aries moon will.

All in all, Rosé’s chart tells me that the stars have aligned at just the right moment at the time of this wonderful girl’s birth. She embodies the true Aquarian through and through for all the good they are known for. She has the fiery core of an Aries that manages to leap out of her in just the right moments. She is someone who wants and deserves a lot of love so please give it to her! She just wants to make the world a better place :( Rosé has always had a penchant for singing and her unique voice just gives her all the more right to do it. She is one to strike inspiration in others for this and she knows it and I hope she embraces her talents fully and unwaveringly. This is why she is Blackpink’s main vocalist without a doubt. Beyond that, she is a girl with a powerful mind and a voice that speaks for it accordingly. 

    ∧＿∧ （｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。 ⊂　　 ノ 　　　・゜+. しーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨) 　　.· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·’* ⛧

#astrology #zodiac signs #rosé #park chaeyoung #blackpink #kpop astrology #blackpink birth chart #rosé birth chart #kpop #aquarius #박채영 #blackpink astrology

[astarlightmonbebe]

10 Kdramas I Recommend part 2

Hey~I’m back again with a part 2! I finish kdramas so slowly, so this took me a while to get to. Sorry if I ramble.

Here is part 1.

1. Life

Year of Release: July-September, 2018

Cast:

Lee Dongwook as Ye Jinwoo

Cho Seungwoo as Cha Seunghyo

Won Jina as Lee Noeul

Lee Kyuhyung as Ye Sunwoo

Yoo Jaemyung as Joo Kyungmoon

Synopsis: Ye Jinwoo is a doctor at Sangkook University. One night, the hospital director dies. Though his death is ruled as a heart attack, Jinwoo believes otherwise. Koo Seunghyo becomes the new director of the hospital, despite being a businessman. He sees the hospital as something to profit from, and decides to forcefully transfer three departments, including the emergency medical center, where Jinwoo works. Jinwoo and the other staff members protest this and start to scheme to have their new director removed.

Thoughts: I went into this for Lee Dongwook and Won Jina only, and only thought it sounded vaguely interesting. I’m not much for hospital dramas and politics, but this drama really ended up piquing my interest! Not only were the actors amazing, but it shaped up a really good story. It showed the bad and good characteristics of everyone, even the so called protagonist and antagonist. I did find it frustrating at times, but only to the point that I felt that I had to watch more to make sure everything got resolved right. From a writer’s standpoint, the ending of this was wonderfully crafted, though watchers might have found themselves deeply sighing. 

Rating: 8/10

2. Healer

Year of Release: December, 2014-February, 2015

Cast:

Ji Changwook as Seo Junghoo

Park Minyoung as Chae Youngshin

Yoo Jitae as Kim Moonho

Synopsis: Kim Moonho is a famous reporter who enlists the service of a mysterious night errand boy, Healer, to find and protect Chae Youngshin, a junior reporter who he believes is connected to a decades old mystery surrounding five friends. The three become intricately connected as they navigate their shared past, the mysterious incident, and current day politics as people in positions of power try to cover that incident up for good.

Thoughts: I LOVED THIS DRAMA! I watched it in around three weeks (it’s a 20 episode drama), and loved every single minute of it. It was the fastest I have ever watched a kdrama. I thought about starting it many times, but always pushed it off because the summary never sounded interesting. Yet after watching a trailer and deciding to see how it was for Ji Changwook, I was instantly tossed head over heels. This drama is thrilling. Secret identities, reporters, mysteries, romance (!!! y’all there’s this one cute scene that really makes me squeal), trauma, pain, and everything in between. You will seriously not regret watching this. 

Rating: 10/10! 

3. Come and Hug Me

Year of Release: May-July, 2018

Cast:

Jang Kiyong as Chae Dojin/Yoon Namoo

Jin Kijoo as Han Jaeyi/Gil Nakwon

Heo Junho as Yoon Heejae

Kim Kyungnam as Yoon Hyunmoo

Yoon Jonghoon as Gil Moowon

Synopsis: Namoo and Nakwon were each other’s first love in high school, until Namoo’s psychopathic father, Yoon Heejae, murdered Nakwon’s parents. Twelve years later, the two meet again--with Namoo as a police detective who goes by Chae Dojin, and Nakwon taking after her late mother as an actress by the name of Han Jaeyi. She suffers from severe PTSD. Together, the two of them navigate their rough past and try to move forward and heal, even as the past threatens to return to their present.

Thoughts: I can’t begin to stress how much I like this drama. It is a drama with a darker theme, but I really liked how they focused on Nakwon’s PTSD and a) how people reacted to the rumors of her mental trauma, b) how they didn’t end up pushing that it made her weak, but rather showed how she grew through it. Every single actor in this was fantastic, especially the child actors! I was really glad to be introduced to Jang Kiyong and Jin Kijoo! They looked so great together :). If you’re a fan of healing dramas with a touch of serial killer, you should definitely check this one out. It checks all the romance boxes, but also all the fun, crime filled ones too.

Rating: 9/10 

4. Descendants of the Sun

Year of Release: February-April, 2016

Cast:

Song Joonki as Yoo Shijin

Song Hyeko as Kang Moyeon

Jin Goo as Seo Daeyoung

Kim Jiwon as Yoon Myeongjoo

Synopsis: Shijin is a captain of the special forces, and Moyeon is a doctor. They meet at the hospital, and decide to date. Unfortunately, it does not work out, as they realize that Shijin as someone who takes lives and Moyeon as someone who tries to save them are not a good pair. The two part ways, but it seems like fate is looking out for them, because eight months later they meet again when Moyeon is assigned to go to Uruk with a medical team, where Shijin is stationed. 

Thoughts: DOTS is a drama classic, and a must watch. I went into watching it expecting to to be very different than it was, but I was not disappointed in the slightest bit. It delves into a lot of topics on morality and making decisions in the midst of a life and death situation. The Song-Song couple’s chemistry was off the charts (and they got married in real life, too!), plus the second lead couple was awesome too! Each character brought something unique to the show. DOTS made my heart leap and feel all sorts of things--especially when Onew (he played a doctor) was crying his eyes out, like dude, I wanted to bawl. This is a classic you cannot pass up.

Rating: 10/10

5. Romance is a Bonus Book

Year of Release: January-March, 2019

Cast:

Lee Jongsuk as Cha Eunho

Lee Nayoung as Kang Dani

Jung Eugene as Song Haerin

Wi Hajoon as Ji Seojun

Synopsis: Cha Eunho is a popular writer and editor who works at a popular publishing company. He is close friends with Kang Dani. With a twist of fate, Dani--who used to be a popular copywriter but has recently fallen upon hard times--manages to get a job at Eunho’s publishing company by lying on her resume. 

Thoughts: Any drama with Lee Jongsuk is going to be good (well...most dramas), and this drama was the perfect mix of funny, romance, and a dash of mystery. Dani’s character was very relatable. She’s awkward, kind, old timey, and genuine. I loved getting introduced to Wi Hajoon as an actor through this drama. He and Jung Eugene were great second leads/supporting actors. The rest of the cast are each very unique in their own way, and lots of kudos to the writers for showing us little slices of how they live and their own problems without making the storyline messy. 

Rating: 8/10

6. My Strange Hero

Year of Release: December, 2018-February, 2019

Cast:

Yoo Seungho as Kang Boksu

Jo Boah as Son Soojung

Kwak Dongyeon as Oh Seho

Synopsis: When Kang Boksu was in high school, he was falsely accused of school violence by his friend (Oh Seho) and his girlfriend (Son Soojeong). Years later, as an adult, Boksu has the opportunity to return to school and graduate. He takes up the offer with the idea of getting revenge, as Soojeong has just become a teacher there, and Seho is the new director as he battles to take control of the school from his mother, the chairman. However, things don’t go as Boksu plans, and he soons find himself tangled up in a major school corruption. 

Thoughts: Okay!!!! I usually get tired of hearing the same old corruption spiel since apparently kdramas love to point out the problems with Korea’s school systems (while nothing changes), and while Chairman Oh definitely made me want to slap her straight across her dumb face, it wasn’t enough to make me completely stop watching. First off, I love all three main actors (or I did as soon as I saw them in here). Yoo Seungho is always enjoyable to watch, and Boksu and Soojeong were sweet and fluffy and balanced each other out perfectly in the relationship. I also fell for Oh Seho! I know a lot of people found him a terrible person...and yeah, he was definitely a prime example of like an anti-villain, but he also had a great redemption arc and I just...wanted to give him the hugest hug.

Rating: 8.5/10

7. Cheese in the Trap

Year of Release: January-March, 2016

Cast:

Park Haejin as Yoo Jung

Kim Goeun as Hong Seol

Seo Kangjoon as Baek Inho

Synopsis: Hong Seol is a hard working college student and Yoo Jung is her good looking, smart, and rich sunbae. Over the course of college, Seol and Jung eventually start a delicate relationship despite other obstacles in their path. However, a friend from Jung’s path, Inho, returns and also starts to fall for Seol.

Thoughts: This drama...I actually only watched it for Seo Kangjoon and he’s the only reason I finished it. This has the biggest second lead syndrome you will ever find. Personally, he’s the only reason this is making it to my recommendation list (that and the fact that I’m horrible at finishing dramas). On the other hand...let’s just say that I hated Park Haejin for so long because I could not get over how much I disliked his character in this drama. It was an interesting character, but I couldn’t stand how manipulative he was. CITT is based on a webtoon, so maybe that’s why it’s so crazy, but it took me so long to finish this. It took me a year because I stopped watching it so many times. This show seriously drove me crazy. There are only a couple things that get me genuinely riled up when I have to talk about them, and this show is one of those things. I don’t know, some people really liked it, but while there were good characters and some nice parts, in the long run it was just really not that good.

Rating: 6/10

8. Bad Guys

Year of Release: October-December, 2014

Cast:

Kim Sangjoong as Oh Gutak

Ma Dongseok as Park Woongcheol

Park Haejin as Lee Jungmoon

Jo Donghyuk as Jung Taesoo

Gang Yewon as Yoo Miyoung

Synopsis: In order to combat the rise in violent crimes, the Police Detective tasks Detective Oh Gutak with putting together a group of criminals to take care of the problem. Gutak, who is currently suspended for excessive violence, puts together a team consisting of gangster Park Woongcheol, hitman Jung Taesoo, serial killer Lee Jungmoon, and Police Inspector Yoo Miyoung. Together, the team tackle the rising crime rate and dangerous criminals.

Thoughts: This show was only 11 episodes, maybe why I was able to watch it so fast. It’s violent and dark--the perfect fit for the crime/mystery genre. I also like to call this Park Haejin’s redemption drama, because after this you know who I liked x.x. There were also a lot of plot twists that made me need to watch the next episode immediately. There’s a sequel to the show with a new cast but the same premise, but I’ll warn you that that show has definitely more violence and blood and death and stuff (I’m still watching it; I’m kind of stalled out right now since a certain episode made me lose faith in that entire show, ahem episode 8). 

Rating: 8/10

9. Kill It

Year of Release: March-April, 2019

Cast:

Jang Kiyong as Kim Soohyun

Nana as Do Hyeonjin

Roh Jeongeui as Kang Seulgi

Kim Jaewon as Philip

Synopsis: Kim Soohyun is an elite assassin who is searching for clues to the past he cannot remember. Do Hyeonjin is the adopted daughter of an important congressman who is a new Police Detective. She is still searching for the killer of her boyfriend, even though nine years have passed. Soohyun and Hyeonjin start to cross paths, finding a connection from their past that leads to a growing relationship.

Thoughts: Sounds like every au ever, right? Jokes, it’s my favorite au of all time and I freaked out when I found out Jang Kiyong was going to the lead. It sounds cliche, but I swear it’s very good. I love the fact that there’s not really a romantic relationship between the two, like it’s not supposed to be romantic, but rather focuses on the platonic, friendship between them. It’s a dark, twisting drama, another one showing how deep corruption runs in the government (that’s always a theme because you know, it’s a thing), and the ending freaking killed me but you know :((. 

Rating: 9.5/10

10. He Is Psychometric

Year of Release: March-April, 2019

Cast:

Park Jinyoung as Lee Ahn

Shin Yeeun as Yoon Jaein

Kim Kwon as Kang Seongmo

Kim Dasom as Eun Jisoo

Synopsis: Lee Ahn has a special ability, psychometry. When he makes skin to skin contact with someone, he sees their darkest memories and secrets. He dreams of becoming the first Police Psychometrist. Yoon Jaein has been running her whole life, ever since her father was charged with the arson of Yeonsung Apartments, where Ahn’s parents died. The two first meet in high school, but their connection is cut short, only for them to reunite two years later and start to solve the mystery behind the fire and the other crimes that connect to it, along with Ahn’s non-biological brother, Prosecutor Kang Seungmo, and Police Detective Eun Jisoo.

Thoughts: OKAY, let me take a deep breath before I get into this one. He Is Psychometric is one of the best dramas I have ever watched. It’s right up there on my top five, I reckon. I didn’t drop this or anything; I watched it from the moment it started airing to the time it didn’t. Fair warning that if you expected happiness, this is not the drama to go for. It’s so twisty and has so many turns, like everytime something was uncovered there was still more threads to follow and it was insane but amazing. Especially for me, being a huge psychology fan, I loved digging into these characters and how unique they each were. The relationships, bromance and romance alike, were so intricate in this drama. I went through a million feelings and emotions in the span of a minute. This drama is also one that you can’t see coming. You can theorize (and believe me, I theorized the heck out of that thing) and guess, but it manages to blindside you almost every time. This show will break your heart and how you think of the world and humans and for that, you have to at least give it a try. 

Rating: 100/10

#kdramas #my recommendations #kill it #he is psychometric #come and hug me #descendants of the sun #cheese in the trap #my strange hero #healer #bad guys #romance is a bonus book #life #kdrama recommendations #i love these!!!! #so many thoughts #hopefully this is more organized than no 1 #hopefully i made no typos! #here you go: my rambly mess of a self condensed

[playquiz]

Why I didn’t eat for 72 hours

At 2:30 pm on Sunday, February 25, she stopped eating for 72 hours until 2:30 pm today, Wednesday, February 28.

Which raises the question: "Why do you do that?"

why not? I love testing my mental stability, and after all, I read about the benefits of more extended fasting, he was eager to take advantage of the positive effects. Why fast? We eat at regular intervals every day for many reasons, but perhaps the main reason is that we have been adapted this way. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are recognized on the day when most people stop eating, and as if that was not enough, there are also opportunities for food between those meals called "snacks." But there's no fixed biological rule that says we need to eat every 4-6 hours, but we've trained our bodies with these regular eating patterns to feel hungry at these times and because it makes it a more social event. We are told that if we don't eat regularly, all sorts of harmful things that may happen to us for a long time "little and often" is the slogan. But human species would not have survived as long as they exist if regular eating is a necessity. Fasting has never been promoted because it is a concept that no one will make money because it will not contribute to the sales of the comprehensive display of snacks that have become available over the past five years and are worth billions. Many foods in our modern diet (especially cereals and sugars), along with eating always, have made our bodies lazy and have stopped their ability to work in their energy stores. Fasting forces your body to function as it is designed and able to get rid of various sources of fuel. I have tried intermittent fasting for eight years now and have tried many different methods, but so far it has been my most extended speed for 24 hours, usually once a week. The health benefits of fasting As is often known, short-term discomfort can lead to long-term benefits, and this is what attracts me in these crazy experiences, and I like to try them. But much research has shown that there are many benefits to fasting. The body reacts well to acute (non-chronic, which has quite the opposite effect) and exits the other side stronger. Getting out of your comfort zone causes your body to thrive and become weaker as a result of not doing so often enough other parts of our lifestyle, not just in terms of nutritional terms. Self-phagocytosis (literally "self-eating") is central to the benefits of fasting and is essentially a biological process that plays a significant role in the body's ability to detoxify, repair, and renew itself. By activating the autophagy process, your body will start killing or eating cells that accumulate as a result of your lifestyle or cleaning dead, diseased or worn-out cells. But some of these elements are difficult for us to control. It is like our bodies built-in a recycling system that allows us to work more efficiently and help ward off many diseases, including preventing the growth and development of cancer. Not only that, but low autophagy (a condition in which many diets leave us) leads to accelerated cell aging. It's also amazing how much research has focused specifically on how fasting promotes autophagy in the brain and can be a very effective way to slow neurodegeneration that can help protect against Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. On top of all this, regular fasting helps reduce chronic pain, rheumatic diseases, high blood pressure and anything related to inflammation. Fasting is much more beneficial than just stimulating the removal of all old cellular parts and damaged toxins, as it stimulates the human growth hormone (which has decreased in my life about 40% since I was in my twenties) which enables our bodies to start producing some of the cells that Recently Renovated, HGH is also responsible for maintaining and building lean muscle mass that when in their forties is not as easy as it used to be. Extended fasting forces the body to use stored glucose and fats, but it also breaks a large portion of white blood cells. If you know the role that white blood cells play about our health, this does not sound good news. Still, the depletion of white blood cells causes changes, even with a short 3-day fast that has been shown to replenish immunity. The system begins with research that indicates the starvation of a kick. The body's stem cells produce new white blood cells, which fight infection. Scientists also found that prolonged fasting also reduces the enzyme PKA, which is associated with aging and a hormone that increases the risk of cancer and tumor growth. But you have to get rid of old things before you start bringing in new ones, so the process of destruction is just as necessary as the process of creation. What stops autophagy? Eating food. It does not take much, and for this, the autophagy is unique to fasting and something. So  How do you fast then? Do not eat anything. Drink only water. Not much, not much. • Do the same activity for you. Sleep as much as you feel you need. I went to live as usual (although it was -8 here in Switzerland so I didn't walk as much as I usually do) and did two sessions about right or wrong body weight, one on the first day and the other on the third day. The advice also tends to make sure you spend a week not eating a lot of carbohydrates, reduce your caloric intake a little and try some short fasting. But I always eat more at this time of year and more carbs, so I didn't follow the rules there either. The only thing that I thought was good is that February is not a month of coffee for me, so there are no caffeine withdrawal symptoms for anxiety. What happened when fasting? Sunday at 2:30 pm they ate the last meal Weight: 57 kg The first day: Monday 6:30 am: Wake up, leave the rest of San Pellegrino from last night. Weight: 56.7 kg 7 am: I had to prepare breakfast for the rest of the family and prepare packed lunches that weren't a big deal today because I wasn't hungry at all and usually don't eat until 10:30 am anyway. 8.30–9.30 am a boot camp with mainly bodyweight exercises but few with extra weight. It was 8 o'clock outside this morning, so we made the indoor choice. As I said, the advice is not to participate in any "formal" exercise, but so far, my day is, as usual, I ignored it. Take sips of water throughout the exercise and may only drink 250ml of water. Midnight: The first sign of hunger as I felt (and heard) my destroyed stomach but wore quickly after two cups of warm water. I discussed putting a slice of lemon in there but then decided I didn't want my taste signal to stimulate my body to digest mode. 2.30 pm: 24 hours of fasting and feel good. It's strange because I did a lot of fasting 24 hours (usually one per week), and I'm always happy when it's time, and I can eat again but this time is different. Since I know, I cannot eat for another two days. My body is not asking for food. I am fascinated to see what "real" hunger looks like. 4:00 pm: I went to buy food! How inappropriate it is for my family to keep eating all this time (totally not suitable for children by the way, just in case you thought this was a serious comment). I bought some of the things I used to breakfast and even seeing a tattoo of all the food didn't make me want anything. I have always had a strong determination to take on any challenge that I have seen, and this is no different. I even made banana bread (which I love) and prepared carrots and chickpeas for girls after having a snack at school. 7.00 pm: I'm still not hungry, it's the weirdest thing. It might contain about a liter and a half of water yet. You must be careful not to drink too much. 8:00 pm: Time seems to be moving slower... It is very productive and does not eat. I have accomplished so much! 10:30 pm The second day: Tuesday 6:30 am: I woke up after a perfect sleep but felt a little shaky. He had some warm water and sat for only 10 minutes. After about an hour, I felt normal again. Weight: 55.6 kg 10:30 am: Even though I haven't eaten more than 44 hours yet, I'm still not hungry. Don't worry, though, my mind feels some mystery. I wonder if this is from toxins coming out of damaged cellular material and throwing them into the bloodstream? I don't feel tired or lethargic. 2.30 pm: 48 hours. 24 hours to go! 7.00 pm: Hungry at dinner time, but I still prepare dinner and sit with my family while they were only eating to be social. I love to challenge myself! 8:00 pm: Fasting and hunger cannot be noticed when you are busy, so it was a good opportunity to be truly productive. 9:00 pm The Epsom salt bath was bothering me, so I went straight to bed after 10 pm. The third day: Wednesday 6:30 am: I woke up feeling shaky again and made a decision not to do Bootcamp today... but then I felt fine and changed my mind and thought I would do as little or as much as I could. Weight: 54.6 kg 8.30–9.30 am. I surprised myself and worked pretty much as usual, which I found very strange due to the lack of glycogen in my muscles. He even threw a few batches there! A little excited to eat again later in the day, and I'm glad I started fasting at 2:30 pm, which isn't long to wait for now. Midnight: It seems like the day is going slowly. Strange I don't have these outages in the food, but I think I am beginning to expect this now until my mind gets ready and becomes patient. So, write this blog to keep it busy. 2.30 pm It's over, I did. 72 hours without food. But what is happening now? How do you end fasting? How to end fasting "safely." "Refeeding" is the process of providing food steadily to your body in a way that does not completely break down your system. The most significant danger is something called a refeeding syndrome, as reinserting food increases insulin to the point that causes an unsafe situation. It is often a worry about fasting five days or more, and when you lose a lot of body weight. To prevent this from happening, you must steadfastly resubmit foods to the body over a day or two, and move steadily to the top of how difficult it is to digest something, ending in meat. Some say that you should refeed any number of fasting. But what I find strange is that many tips on fasting indicate that you should start with fruits and vegetables because they are easy to digest. Plants make sense, but fruit? Most fruits have a relatively high glycemic index, which means a significant rise in insulin. I no longer eat a lot of fruit anyway stuck with some green vegetable soup. I'm also going to dynamically relocate the small intestine (healthy bacteria that live inside your gut) in the next few days with some vegetable powders, pickled cabbage and kefir, which are all great sources of probiotics. The next thing on the list is desiccated coconut meat because it is shallow in blood sugar and rich in fat, which is the only significant nutrient that does not increase insulin. What then? Overall, this was a very positive experience. My mentality has been tested again, which I think will always stand well about other challenges that come my way. There were hardly any negatives, and hopefully, the few positives have been entirely animated by the positives. It will be interesting to know how long it takes to replace glycogen and the weight of the water and how it will feel to re-enter the food. As I said, there is an incredible number of health benefits of fasting so I will continue intermittent fasting every day (fasting for 14-16 hours each day and having an 8 to 10-hour intake window is the preferred method). I will probably repeat fasting for three days like this every three months. Disclaimer: As with all self-experiences on your body, they are not suitable for everyone and if you have any doubts, consult your general physician before performing any type of fasting. For example, it is not ideal for pregnant women or children.

#Why I didn’t eat for 72 hours #healthy food #Food Swaps - This for That #sweet food #fasting #how to lose weight fast in 2 weeks #fast food

[memequeenjojo]

you'd think after all the apologies hexd probably learn but nah he's just gonna keep being racist because he's racist, jan

Yeah, no. I’m gonna stop you there, bud.

I’ve recently started watching him again and (thankfully) skipped all the drama about him dropping the n word and the thing about him “promoting” the anti-semetic channel.

First and foremost: Those claims are false and can get you in trouble if you publicly state that. Felix said over and over again that he does not promote racism. At all.

You may have read articles from the Vice or any media for that matter, but probably didn’t watch any of his videos reacting to what he did and thus only got one side of the story (if you want to catch up I’d recommend his “Twitch Drama”-series and “Rating Youtuber apologies”.)

But let’s begin from the start, do we?

https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/2/17/14613234/pewdiepie-nazi-satire-alt-right

(I’ve picked this article simply to have some examples of how he misbehaved.) Yes, he said bad things, I’m not arguing about that. From August 2016 to the 10th of February of 2017 Felix featured Nazi imagery of himself doing or editing various things. Be it adding audio from Hitler, bowing over a swastika or including Hitler saying “Sieg Heil” (keep in mind I took these examples out of context), many things were wrong.

A particular video posted January 11 (taken down) showed two Indian Freelancers holding up a sign saying “Death to all Jews” which he paid to do (they didn’t know what it said and got off the hook). 

For both cases he made he apologized, once with a post and once with a video. To me, this is the point where he realized his wrongdoings and wanted to speak up about them.

The Tumblr post explaining the case with the Indians shows, that this was to prove his point, though he did not expect them to actually go through with this. He says he understands, that such jokes are offensive. But let’s look at the video, shall we?

The video got taken down, I can only imagine because Felix got fed up with the media attacking him for him attacking back. He made another one later on the 24th of February (I recommend watching it!), in which he basically shows, that the Wall Street Journal article, written by three people, has an author who is a plain hypocrite, who publishes anti-semetic posts himself on Twitter (@benfritz). All in all he just talks about how most media is basically out for blood, even going as far as severing the ties between Pewds and Disney or other sponsors without contacting Felix himself first to get answers. Also, just to mention, his style is (obviously) an imitation of Himmler (leading member of the Nazi party) and an idol for multiple neo-nazi websites which he (again, obviously) knows.

Yes, he is the bad guy!

Alright, enough of that old stuff, let’s get back to the more recent things, like the “n word accident” 09/10/2017. While live-streaming Playersunknown’s Battleground game mode “Last Man Standing” he shouted “What a fucking n****r”. Now,that clearly accentuates his racist side, don’t you think? His own statement to this is, that there is no excuse to even say that in the heat of the moment. That’s right, shame on him. While most forgave him because, really, it can happen (but shouldn’t), others instantly jumped on what happened months ago, doubting that he learned anything. The developers of Firewatch, Campo Santo, even took down Felix Let’s Play of it because they didn’t want to be associated with his channel in any way, be it now or in the future.

Now, to make this not as long as I could I want to include the most recent one including him being called a racist:

PewDiePie promotes an anti-semetic channel!

Both media and himself published a statement. All of this started when Pewds wanted to promote smaller channels he liked, one of them called E;R who puts hidden, anti-semetic messages into their anime reviews. Felix himself did not notice them because he is not well versed in the history of The Third Reich, but after he came to understand he instantly deleted E;R from the recommendations. He did not want to promote any of that and distanced himself from that quite quickly.

Now, that was a lot, right? I just want to add a bit of a personal opinion on this.

Felix has learned his lesson, he knows that it is wrong. I, myself, had to read into this whole mess as well just to write an appropriate answer. 

In my opinion this whole racism thing should’ve ended with his apology video in February two years ago.

He said the n word? Oh my god, so do million others each day, but he knows that it is wrong AND said so immediatly after. Did the media care? No.

Oh my god, he likes anime reviews! Does one of the journalists or anyone else for that matter tell him from person to person / via E-Mail yadda-yadda, that E;R put such jokes into their videos? No. 

Yes, he did do wrong, nobody says otherwise. But you know who doesn’t want to let go, wants to squeeze as much as they can out of him?

The Media, simple as that.

Now, I know for certain who send this ask to me and I remember you telling me that you don’t want a discussion…

But if you can’t do at least some research and listen to both sides, then you are clearly no better than those who wronged Felix.

#pewdiepie #this is all i will say about this

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 1x04 Murphy’s Law

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

Rating: 7/10

The first 3 episodes took place over something like a day or two, This one happens a week later. Which is a way to avoid having to show Clarke's immediate reaction to Wells' death, and to have to spend a lot of screentime on her mourning, because most of it took place off-screen (we just see her at his grave, and later talking to Finn about him and how good he was to her while they were growing up). At least Finn got an entire episode, even though it lasted just about a day in-universe. This is something that TV shows like to do - have the characters mourn for an episode or a few scenes for a dead character and then never have them mention that person again. Well, at least they did have Wells' father see apparitions of his son multiple times and mention him several times, including when he was dying.

This episode instead isn't at all about Wells, but starts with the Delinquents learning that he wasn't killed by the Grounders and that it was instead one of them, using Murphy's knife. The title of this episode, Murphy's Law, aside from being a pun, also describes the chain of events not just in this episode, but the show in general: everything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong. This a really good episode right until the last 5 minutes or so. The interactions between Clarke, Bellamy and Murphy are really interesting. Murphy is at this point at his peak obnoxiousness. He's basically acting in the textbook "How to make enemies and alienate people" way. In the first couple of episodes, he was only antagonistic towards Wells, but now he's using his position as Bellamy's sidekick to bully other Delinquents for no reason at all, to try to make himself feel bigger, out of his own envy and hate and resentment, and his inferiority complex. To use a Buffy reference, if Murphy was a high school Mean Girl, he wouldn't be "Queen C" Cordelia Chase, he would be one of the Cordettes - people who latch onto someone more powerful and popular (in this case, Bellamy) and then bully others through that newfound 'power'. The infamous scene where he urinates on another Delinquent happens when he's overseeing the work (the Delinquents are building a wall to have a defense against a possible Grounder attack, since they still have almost no weapons) after he's first mocked that guy for not working hard enough (implying 12 year old Charlotte would work harder), and then mocked him when he said he needed water, but then Bellamy told Murphy to go and get him water. And that's probably why Murphy then urinated on the guy, he couldn't take it when Bellamy took the guy's side, so to speak, and cut down his position of power (or what Murphy sees as such) by sending him to fetch water. Hey, look, here's Manny Jacinto as one of the boys bullied by Murphy. Of course I didn't notice him before, he appears for like a second. Even with knowing Murphy's later development, there's no two ways about it, he was a total dick at this point. Which makes the situation more ambiguous when he's blamed and almost lynched for something he didn't actually do - Wells' murder - though he had threatened to do it, and together with Clarke jumping to conclusions and accusing him of it, because Wells was murdered by Murphy's knife, and the fact that most Delinquents obviously really dislike Murphy at this point (no surprise) leads to that result. What happens to him is wrong, and someone should have apologized for it. But that doesn't excuse him at all for what he does next, trying to make people kill Charlotte instead, after she has confessed, and then, after realizing no one is supporting him, doing his best to kill her, including threatening Clarke's life at one point. I wouldn't think this needed to be pointed out, but I've seen some people in comments to YouTube reaction videos to this episode actually, in all seriousness, argue that he was right and that Charlotte should have been killed. WTF? What's wrong with people that they don't get the whole being 12 year old thing? I know that USA has the weird habit of putting minors on trial as adults, but even then, I'm pretty sure even US legal system doesn't go that far to execute 12 year olds. At which point did the writers and viewers decide that Clarke was "the Head" and Bellamy "the Heart" (which the show made explicit in the season 4 finale, and then overturned in season 5)? I've always felt that was a huge oversimplification and I'm generally not too fond of it. Season 1 Clarke was pretty impulsive in some situations, especially in this episode (it was her best friend who was murdered, after all), immediately deciding that Murphy is the killer and should be punished, while Bellamy argued that this would be a bad idea, because it would create unrest and make the Delinquents turn on each other, and that it was better for them to keep thinking it was the Grounders who did it. Which was maybe cynical, but pragmatic and rational. (BTW, I don't think Bellamy made a connection that Charlotte was the killer - he probably forgot about giving her Murphy's knife or thought someone else took it, but in any case, I don't think it would have occurred to him that she would do it.) Then Clarke actually confronts Murphy angrily in front of everyone, which causes the avalanche of disastrous events, as the boy that Murphy bullied earlier and a bunch of others immediately decide to hang Murphy and ask Bellamy to do it. 

Clarke had a lot of moral certainly at this point (which will be eroded slowly over the course of the show) but sometimes it was a bit too straightforward (she didn't stop to think how people will react - you could say, she didn't know her audience that well as Bellamy did), and here she realized that things weren't that simple - she wanted to get some kind of justice, but didn't want Murphy killed, and seeing what she had caused, she admits to Bellamy "I was wrong earlier, you were right". 

But where Bellamy goes really wrong in 1x04 is decide to "give people what they want" - in this case, a culprit they want and his death. It's one of his biggest mistakes in S1 and one that will come to bite him in the a.$s, especially at the end of the season when Murphy starts his revenge spree, which will be directed at the guys who first wanted to hang him, but most of all at Bellamy himself. And Bellamy will learn his lesson, an opposite one from Clarke, that you need to do the right thing and not just give the crowd what they want (in 1x12 he tells Clarke "Crowds make bad decisions, just ask Murphy").

The moment when Bellamy goes ballistic and starts acting on pure emotion - and tries to kill Murphy immediately - is later after Charlotte commits suicide, due largely to Murphy's pressure - because of course he would react like that to her death. Guess what, Finn acting decently (actually decently, not just on the surface) didn't last. We find out he was exploring woods by his own and found an old shelter, but he didn't tell anyone. Instead, he gives Clarke a pencil to impress her (right after she's told him about how Wells used to give her stuff when they were growing up, and that she didn't realize at the time that he was denying himself things to give them to her... hmmm). Later he reveals the shelter to Clarke when they need to hide Charlotte from Murphy and his gang. Clarke asks why he hasn't told anyone, and immediately thinks about how they could use things, but Finn tries to justify himself, saying that the food has all expired and there are no weapons, and besides, if he had told everyone, then they couldn't use the shelter now that they need it. So how does that work - he foresaw they would need to hide someone from the rest of the Delinquents?? Or he was just waiting for a chance to use that shelter to show it to Clarke and just Clarke, impress her and show her how good he is to her and how much she needs him? Am I being too harsh on Finn? He does some good things in this episode, like do his best to stop the crowd from hanging Murphy. But still... I never liked him much, my perspective on him is different now, after I have seen season 2 Finn with his "I killed all those people for you, Clarke!" thing, At the time I first watched this, I assumed that Finn was meant to be likable, but that the combination of bad writing and bad acting made him unlikable. I didn't know what it was about Finn that rubbed me the wrong way or that didn't resonate with me. But now I see more and more reasons to dislike him, and I think that his character is more consistent than I initially thought, but that he was never meant to be a really great guy, and that his romance with Clarke was just supposed to create drama and angst rather than be a great ship people would root for. (The whole thing with Raven really shows that.) Maybe I was too harsh on Thomas McDonell, though. He wasn't as good as some other cast members, but he's not that bad, now I have Tasya Teles' acting to compare it with. (I'm sure Tasya is a nice person, but she just can't act.) It's kind of funny that the climax of this episode is focused on Clarke and Bellamy being shocked at Charlotte's death in such a way that it seems like their child just died, and then arguing about leadership (it's already pretty clear that the two of them are those who decide on most things), as Finn just looks on. This may be the crucial moment where their co-leadership begins. Clarke argues "We don't decide who lives and who dies". It's so ironic that she will later during the show be expected and asked to decide just that, more than once. Meanwhile, on the Ark, we get to meet a couple of new characters - Kane's mother, a preacher, who'll be around for a couple of episodes, and Nigel, a woman at the Mecha station who runs a black market, and who, I think, won't ever appear again. But she gets Abby arrested by Kane, and also, through her, we get to learn more about Raven's backstory - that her mother was an alcoholic and that she used to prostitute herself to get stuff. Life on the Ark, especially those of lower classes, seems so freaking wonderful... The last few minutes of this episode initially annoyed me a lot, because it seemed like a return to the cheesy teen soapy bullcrap of the first couple of episodes. The love triangle was set up - Raven takes the pod by herself, since Abby can't go, and is arriving to Earth, while we get a confirmation that Finn is the boyfriend she wants to save - just as Finn and Clarke end up kissing and having sex for the first time. Now that I know and love how this triangle is eventually resolved, I don't hate this so much, but this scene is still really cheesy and feels like the classic TV insta-romance. And it's not just that, I also hated the scene where Octavia kisses Jasper, after praising his courage (for "standing up to a bully" -? I still have no idea what she was referring to, it's always confused me) and telling him that heroism gets rewarded. Ugh. And then Monty gives him a high-five. One of the things I hate the most in fictional romance is when romance/sex is portrayed as a reward that someone - usually a female - gives another person - usually a male, for performing heroic deeds. Gross. I'm so relieved, because of that, that the Jasper/Octavia ship went nowhere, even though I wasn't a big fan of how her romance with Lincoln was portrayed in S1, either.

#The 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 1x04 #murphy's law #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #john murphy #raven reyes #wells jaha #octavia blake #jasper jordan

[patriotsnet]

Why Did Republicans Vote Against The First Responders Bill

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-did-republicans-vote-against-the-first-responders-bill/

Why Did Republicans Vote Against The First Responders Bill

Biden Pushed For Bipartisanship What Happened

Why Did the Republican Congress Argue AGAINST the COVID Stimulus Bill?

Biden ran on wanting bipartisanship efforts on Capitol Hill, and being a;negotiator during his 36 years in the Senate.;

More:Amid calls for unity, President Biden and Republicans don’t agree what that looks like

Bipartisan efforts were made in the beginning of negotiations, with a;group of 10 Republicans meeting with Biden at the White House in early February to propose a counteroffer: a;$618 billion package.

But, those talks and communication have;since fizzled, according to Romney, who was;one of the senators who met with Biden. He told reporters;there has been very little effort on the part of the White House to find common ground with Republicans.

More:How much money will your state get if Biden’s COVID-19 relief bill passes?

Sen. Susan Collins, R-Me., who was also in the group of 10 Republicans, said;talks between the White House and her colleagues stalled.”

Biden said he hoped;”Republicans in Congress listen to their constituents,”;citing the popularity of the bill in some polls.;

Romney told reporters Thursday if some Republican amendments;got into the bill, some of his colleagues may support it.;

“But my guess is it’s not likely that many of our amendments will get any Democrat support so I think it’s very unlikely that any Republicans will support the final bill,” he said.

McConnell and other Republicans have also criticized Democrats for using;a special process called reconciliation to push forward;the legislation;without much input from the GOP.;

Gop Claims Afghan Refugees Are Arriving Unvetted That’s Not True

Thirty-five House Republican broke ranks Wednesday evening to support legislation that would establish an independent commission to investigate the January 6 insurrection at the US Capitol.

Liz Cheney of Wyoming

Tom Rice of South Carolina

Dan Newhouse of Washington

Jaime Herrera Beutler of Washington

Peter Meijer of Michigan

John Katko of New York

David Valadao of California

Tom Reed of New York

Don Bacon of Nebraska

Andrew Garbarino of New York

Tony Gonzales of Texas

Dusty Johnson of South Dakota

David Joyce of Ohio

Chris Smith of New Jersey

Van Taylor of Texas

Chris Jacobs of New York

David McKinley of West Virginia

Jeff Fortenberry of Nebraska

Why 21 House Republicans Balked At Medals For Capitol Police

There was a brief political consensus in the immediate aftermath of the insurrectionist attack on the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6. The left, right, and center could all agree on a simple truth: participating in a riotous assault against the nation’s seat of government, in the hopes of derailing our electoral system, is a serious attack against our democracy.

As we’ve discussed, however, that consensus broke down soon after. As winter turned to spring, many House Republicans decided to rewrite recent history, recasting the villains as heroes, and the police as heavy-handed abusers who interfered with “peaceful patriots” engaged in a lawful protest. There was fresh evidence of this yesterday: TPM reported, “During a House Oversight committee hearing Tuesday, several Republicans spent their speaking time expressing concern for a specific group of people involved in the January 6 attack: the insurrectionists themselves.”

Soon after the hearing, the House took up a measure to honor the law-enforcement officials who defended the Capitol on Jan. 6. The resolution passed, but not unanimously.

To be sure, a 406-to-21 vote is lopsided, but under normal circumstances, we’d expect zero members of Congress to vote against a measure honoring Capitol Police who kept them safe during an attack on their own institution. Yesterday, however, 21 lawmakers — each of them conservative Republicans — voted “no,” despite knowing that the resolution would pass anyway.

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House Republicans Voted Against Giving Medals To Officers Who Responded To Jan 6 Riot

The House passed a bill Tuesday to award the Congressional Gold Medal to all law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol during the Jan. 6 riot, with 21 Republicans opposing the bill.

Why it matters via the Washington Post:“he vote underscored the still-lingering tensions in Congress amid efforts by some GOP lawmakers to whitewash the events of that day.”

Stay on top of the latest market trends and economic insights with Axios Markets.

The measure passed the House with a bipartisan vote of 406-21.

Details: The four medals awarded under the bill one of the highest civilian honors would be displayed in the Capitol Police and Metropolitan Police headquarters, Smithsonian Institution and the Capitol building.

The bill names the three law enforcement officers who died following the attack, and singles out U.S. Capitol Police officer Eugene Goodman, who lured a mob away from members of Congress.

The resolution recognizes their actions as an example of “the patriotism and the commitment of Capitol Police officers, and those of other law enforcement agencies, to risk their lives in service of our country.”

The Republicans who voted against:

Rep. Thomas Massie

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

Rep. Andy Harris

The Long Fight To Funding

Congress passed the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act in 2010, over opposition from some Republicans who balked at its original $7 billion price tag. The act was reauthorized in 2015 for 90 years. But a portion of the law the Victim Compensation Fund was only funded for five years, through the end of 2020.; The fund aimed to provide necessary financial support for the thousands who suffered serious medical issues, including a spate of cancer diagnoses, after the 2001 attacks.;

The House voted 402 to 12 to permanently reauthorize the fund through 2092 earlier in July, with the Congressional Budget Office estimating $10.2 billion in costs over the next ten years. However, Sen. Rand Paul prevented the Senate from voting to approve the bill by unanimous consent last week because of its high cost. Fellow Republican Sen. Mike Lee of Utah also placed a procedural hold on the legislation, further preventing it from passing in the Senate.;

Under Senate rules, any one senator can propose that a bill be considered for unanimous consent, but one senator can also block it. The bill was then brought to the floor for debate and a full vote this week.

Comedian and 9/11 first responder advocate Jon Stewart blasted Paul;over the issue, telling Fox News the move was “absolutely outrageous.”;

In a last-minute pitch before Tuesday’s vote, Paul offered an amendment he said would help offset the bill’s spending costs.;

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/11 Responders Bill Defeated By Senate Gop Filibuster

the CNN Wire StaffSTORY HIGHLIGHTS

Motion for cloture falls three votes short of ending GOP filibuster

Republicans oppose the $7.4 billion cost; supporters hope to revive the measure

Bill would provide medical benefits, compensation for 9/11 first responders

NYC Mayor Bloomberg calls it an “example of partisan politics trumping patriotism”

Washington — Senate Democrats failed Thursday to win a procedural vote to open debate on a bill that would provide medical benefits and compensation for emergency workers who were first on the scene of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

The motion for cloture, or to begin debate, needed 60 votes to pass due to a Republican filibuster, but fell short at 57-42 in favor.

While supporters said they would try to bring the bill up again, either on its own or as part of other legislation to be considered, the vote Thursday jeopardized the measure’s chances for approval in the final weeks of the current congressional session.

The House previously passed the bill on a mostly partisan 268-160 vote.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg reacted to Thursday’s result by calling it “a tragic example of partisan politics trumping patriotism.”

RELATED TOPICS

Michael Bloomberg

“I urge Senate Republicans to reconsider their wrong-headed political strategy and allow the bill to come to the floor for a vote,” Bloomberg said in a statement.

Zadroga Act Opponents Including Paul Ryan Observe September 11 Anniversary

WASHINGTON — The nation’s leading Republicans marked the 11th anniversary of 9/11 with the words “never forget” on their lips — most of those using the occasion to promote legislation — but nearly all of them opposed the bill passed two years ago to help the first responders who suffered health problems in the wake of the attacks.

Prominent among them was vice presidential nominee, Rep. Paul Ryan , who voted twice against the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act, and opposed the final passage of the bill.

“Eleven years ago today, from Capitol Hill, I could see the smoke rising from the fires burning in the Pentagon. Like all Americans, I will never forget the moment that our homeland came under attack,” Ryan said in a statement. “For me, this is a day to remember those who perished on that day of terror, including the first responders.”

A spokesman for Ryan, Brendan Buck, insisted that Ryan supports 9/11 responders and pointed to the congressman’s votes soon after the attacks in favor of aid for those suffering. He explained Ryan’s Dec. 2010 comments on the House floor in opposition to the Zadroga bill by noting that Ryan said he didn’t like the bill because he thought it was flawed, was “rushed” onto the floor by Democrats, and created a new mandatory spending program.

“Gov. Romney supports government assistance to the victims of terrorism,” Saul said.

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Texas Elections Bill Was Near Party

Friday’s vote;saw only one representative;cross;party lines; Rep. Lyle Larson, R-San Antonio, who voted against SB 1.;

All 40 Democrats who were present Friday voted against the bill, with several saying efforts should focus on improving;voter access with such initiatives as online or election day voter registration.

Instead, Republicans squandered an opportunity by focusing on restrictions that will have a disproportionate impact on voters of color, said Rep. Chris Turner, D-Grand Prairie,;one of nine Democrats to speak against SB 1 to close Friday’s debate.

The bill, Turner said, was inspired by the “big lie” that President Donald Trump was denied a second term because of widespread election fraud, a conspiracy theory unleashing a toxic and dangerous threat to democracy.

“He and other Republicans whipped their base into a frenzy with crazy conspiracies about election fraud,” Turner said.

“This bill was never about election security or voter integrity.;It was always about using the big lie to justify restricting access to the ballot box,” he said.

More:From polls to ballots, here’s what a new Texas voting bill would mean for you

Rep. Senfronia Thompson, D-Houston, a Black woman who recalled having to pay a poll tax to vote when she was young, said SB 1 was a continuation of an attack on the right to vote for nonwhite citizens.

“We have 90 days to act,” he said. “The clock is ticking.”

Utah Sen Mike Lee Votes Against 9/11 First Responders Bill After Losing Bid To Limit Spending

Why Ted Cruz Voted Against 9/11 Relief Funds | MSNBC

Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah.

Washington The Senate passed a measure Tuesday extending for decades the fund for victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks after defeating an amendment by Sen. Mike Lee that would have limited the payout to about $20 billion over the life of the program.

The bill, which passed overwhelmingly in the Senate 97-2 and was previously approved by the House, now heads to President Donald Trump’s desk for his signature.

Lee, a Utah Republican, had held up the bill while attempting to curtail the expansion to only what is needed in the next decade. His amendment, shot down by a 32-66 vote, would have given $10.18 billion to the fund in the next 10 years and another $10 billion after that.

After his amendment failed, Lee voted against the final bill. Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, supported the overall measure.

Lee walked off the floor shortly after it was clear his amendment didnt have the 60 votes it needed to pass.

His office declined to comment on the vote and pointed to a statement from last week when the senator said that the victims fund has had an excellent record avoiding waste and abuse and has always been funded for a time-certain extension.

These two things are not coincidental, he said in that statement. They go together.

The Senate also rejected an amendment by Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., that would have cut other programs to pay for extending the 9/11 fund. Paul cast the only other no vote.

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Republicans Vote Against Awarding Medals To Police Who Defended Capitol

The House passed legislation on Tuesday to award Congressional Gold Medals; one of the highest civilian honors; to police officers who defended the Capitol during the violent Jan. 6 insurrection.

Lawmakers handily passed the legislation. Members of both parties supported it, 406-21, with all of the votes in opposition coming from conservative Republicans.

The four medals awarded under the bill would be displayed at the Capitol Police headquarters, at the D.C. Metropolitan Police headquarters, at the Smithsonian Institution and in a “prominent location” in the Capitol.

The medal displayed in the Capitol would be accompanied with a plaque listing all of the law enforcement agencies that helped protect the building on Jan. 6 from the mob of former President TrumpJoe BidenSpotlight turns to GOP’s McCarthy in Jan. 6 probeBiden visits union hall to mark Labor DayBiden approves disaster funds for NJ, NY after Ida floodingMOREs election victory.

The resolution names three police officers; Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood of the Capitol Police and;Jeffrey Smith of the Metropolitan Police; who died in the days after they were on duty at the Capitol on Jan. 6.

The measure states that their actions “exemplify the patriotism and the commitment of Capitol Police officers, and those of other law enforcement agencies, to risk their lives in service of our country.”

‘we’ll See You At The Polls’

But the bill’s House sponsor, Rep. Andrew Murr, R-Junction, said SB 1 was the product of more than 35 hours of House debate between the regular session that ended in May and two special sessions.

“We all strive for improvement, and I believe that’s what we’re looking at with this legislation, is improving the Election Code of Texas,” Murr said, his voice scratchy from almost 13 hours of debate Thursday over SB 1.

Moments before the House took its final vote on SB 1, Rep. Harold Dutton, D-Houston, engaged Murr in a back-and-forth discussion on the House floor.

“Do you think there’s fraud in Texas elections?” Dutton asked.

“Generally speaking, I;think there is always a likelihood of fraud,” Murr replied. “We have;seen past examples of fraud.”

Dutton ended with an acknowledgement that the fight over SB 1 was almost over, but he said a larger fight is looming: “We’re going to;go;vote, and so we’ll see you at the polls.”

Once the House names its five members to the conference committee, they will negotiate a final version of SB 1 that will need to be approved;by both chambers.

The bill’s author, Sen. Bryan Hughes, R-Mineola, said Friday that;he will determine the next step after;studying House changes.

Also Check: How Many Republicans Are Against Trump

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DOJ wades in against Texas abortion ban

Attorney General Merrick Garland said Monday that the Justice Department would protect women seeking an abortion in Texas as the agency explores ways to challenge one of the most restrictive laws in the nation. In a statement, Garland said the department would protect those seeking to obtain or provide reproductive health services pursuant to our criminal and civil enforcement of the law known as the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act.

The announcement from the Justice Department comes days after the conservative-majority Supreme Court declined to block the Texas law that bans abortion as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, with no exceptions for rape or incest. The law also allows anyone to file a lawsuit against any other person who has aided someone in obtaining an abortion, with the potential for a $10,000 payoff.

The Internet responds

Pro-choice users on TikTok and;Reddit;have launched a guerrilla effort to thwart Texass extreme new abortion law, flooding an online tip website that encourages people to report violators of the law with false reports, Shrek memes and porn.

The law makes it illegal to help women in;Texas;access abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy. To help enforce it, anti-abortion group Texas Right to Life established the digital tipline where people can send anonymous information about potential violations.

A Legislative Win But At What Cost

As the bill now heads to the president’s desk for final signature, advocates and living survivors can’t help but think the battle was won but at the expense of hundreds of their brothers in arms.

In the process of the reauthorization, over 200 firefighters and first responders died as a result of cancers and other medical ailments related to the 2001 terror attacks.;

The daughter of William Gormley, a former New York City firefighter who died after his own battle with cancer in 2017, told CBS that her family had filed a claim for benefits from the victims fund immediately after her father’s death and was assured that the money would be there.

“They went back on their promise but they had to. It was better for everyone to get a little money than no one at all,” Bridget Gormley said.

Gormley says the fund was unfortunately a “victim of its own success” after the fund quickly ran out of money because of a rise in cancer-related illnesses in the 9/11 community.;

“This is not going to be a cause for celebration,” Gormley noted importantly. “We unfortunately have to learn some lessons form our failures in this situation. It’ll be a milestone but it’ll serve as a testament to the first responders who fought.”

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[jack1998sstuff]

Biden Must Call Off the Bombing of Afghan Cities

ten provincial capitals in Afghanistan have fallen to the Taliban in just a week, while fighting continues in four more. US military officials now believe that Kabul, the Afghan capital, could fall in one to three months.

It is horrific to watch the death, destruction and mass displacement of thousands of terrified Afghans and the triumph of the misogynist Taliban that ruled the nation 20 years ago. But the fall of the centralized, corrupt Afghan government propped up by the West was inevitable, whether this year, next year or 10 years from now.    

The Hazaras of Afghanistan Face a Threat to Survival READ MORE

US President Joe Biden has reacted to America’s snowballing humiliation in the graveyard of empires by once again dispatching US Envoy Zalmay Khalilzad to Doha, Qatar, to urge the government and the Taliban to seek a political solution. At the same time, the US has dispatched B-52 bombers to attack at least two of Afghanistan’s 34 provincial capitals.

In Lashkar Gah, the capital of Helmand province, the bombing has already reportedly destroyed a high school and a health clinic. Another B-52 bombed Sheberghan, the capital of Jowzjan province and the home of the infamous warlord and accused war criminal Abdul Rashid Dostum, who is now the military commander of the US-backed government’s armed forces. Meanwhile, the New York Times reports that US Reaper drones and AC-130 gunships are also still operating in Afghanistan.

The Fall of the Afghan Army The rapid disintegration of the Afghan forces that the US and its Western allies have recruited, armed and trained for 20 years at a cost of nearly $89 billion should come as no surprise. On paper, the Afghan national army has 180,000 troops. In reality, most of them are unemployed Afghans desperate to earn some money to support their families but not eager to fight their fellow citizens. The army is also notorious for its corruption and mismanagement. The army and the beleaguered and vulnerable police forces that man isolated outposts and checkpoints around the country are plagued by high casualties, rapid turnover and desertion. Most troops feel no loyalty to the corrupt US-backed government and routinely abandon their posts, either to join the Taliban or just to go home. When the BBC asked General Khoshal Sadat, the national police chief, about the impact of high casualties on police recruitment in February 2020, he cynically replied: “When you look at recruitment, I always think about the Afghan families and how many children they have. The good thing is there is never a shortage of fighting-age males who will be able to join the force.”

But a police recruit at a checkpoint questioned the very purpose of the war, telling the BBC’s Nanna Muus Steffensen: “We Muslims are all brothers. We don’t have a problem with each other.” In that case, she asked him, why were they fighting? He hesitated, laughed nervously and shook his head in resignation. “You know why. I know why,” he said. “It’s not really our fight.”

Since 2007, the jewel of US and Western military training missions in Afghanistan has been the Afghan commando corps or special operations forces, who comprise only 7% of Afghan national army troops but reportedly do 70% to 80% of the fighting. But the commandos have struggled to reach their target of recruiting, arming and training 30,000 troops. Poor recruitment from Pashtuns, the largest and traditionally dominant ethnic group, has been a critical weakness, especially from the Pashtun heartland in the south.

The commandos and the professional officer corps of the Afghan army are dominated by ethnic Tajiks. This community consists of the successors to the Northern Alliance, which the US supported against the Taliban 20 years ago. As of 2017, the commandos are estimated at only 21,000. It is not clear how many of these Western-trained troops now serve as the last line of defense between the US-backed puppet government and total defeat.

The Taliban’s speedy and simultaneous occupation of large amounts of territory all over the country appears to be a deliberate strategy to overwhelm and outflank the government’s small number of well-trained, well-armed troops. The Taliban have had more success winning the loyalty of minorities in the north and west than government forces have had to recruit Pashtuns from the south, and the government’s small number of well-trained troops cannot be everywhere at once.

US Fighter Jets But what of the United States? Its deployment of B-52 bombers, Reaper drones and AC-130 gunships is a brutal response by a failing, flailing imperial power to a historic, humiliating defeat. The US does not flinch from committing mass murder against its enemies. Just look at the US-led destruction of Fallujah and Mosul in Iraq and Raqqa in Syria. How many Americans even know about the massacre of civilians that Iraqi forces committed when the US-led coalition finally took control of Mosul in 2017? This came after Donald Trump, while campaigning in 2015, said that the US should “take out the families” of Islamic State fighters.

Twenty years after George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld committed a full range of war crimes — from torture and the deliberate killing of civilians to the “supreme international crime” of aggression — Biden is clearly no more concerned than they were with criminal accountability or the judgment of history. But even from the most pragmatic and callous point of view, what can continued aerial bombardment of Afghan cities accomplish, besides a final but futile climax to the 20-year-long slaughter of Afghans by tens of thousands of American bombs and missiles?

The intellectually and strategically bankrupt US military and CIA bureaucracy has a history of congratulating itself for fleeting, superficial victories. The US quickly declared victory in Afghanistan in 2001 and set out to duplicate its imagined conquest in Iraq two years later. Then, the short-lived success of the 2011 regime change operation in Libya encouraged the US and its allies to let al-Qaeda affiliates loose in Syria, spawning a decade of intractable violence and chaos and the rise of the Islamic State (IS).

In the same manner, Biden’s unaccountable and corrupt national security advisers seem to be urging him to use the same weapons that obliterated the Islamic State group’s urban bases in Iraq and Syria to attack Taliban-held cities in Afghanistan. But Afghanistan is not Iraq or Syria.  First, fewer Afghans live in cities. Second, the Taliban’s base is not in major cities, but in the rural areas where the other three-quarters of Afghans live. Despite support from Pakistan over the years, the Taliban are not an invading force like IS, but an Afghan nationalist movement that has fought for two decades to expel foreign invasion and occupation forces from their country.

In many areas, Afghan forces have not fled from the Taliban, as the Iraqi army did from IS in 2014, but joined them. On August 9, the Taliban occupied Aybak, the sixth provincial capital to fall, after a local warlord and his fighters reportedly agreed to join forces with the Taliban.

That very same day, the government’s chief negotiator, Abdullah Abdullah, returned to Doha for further peace talks with the Taliban. His American allies must make it clear to him, his government and the Taliban that the US will support every effort to achieve a peaceful political transition.

The New Syndrome But the United States must not keep bombing and killing civilians to provide cover for the Afghan government to avoid difficult but necessary compromises at the negotiating table to bring peace to the long-suffering, war-weary people of Afghanistan. Bombing Taliban-occupied cities and the people who live in them is a savage and criminal policy that President Biden must renounce.           The defeat of the US and its allies in Afghanistan now seems to be unfolding even faster than the collapse of South Vietnam between 1973 and 1975. The public takeaway from the US defeat in Southeast Asia was the “Vietnam syndrome,” an aversion to overseas military interventions that lasted for decades.

As we approach the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, we should reflect on how the Bush administration exploited the US public’s thirst for revenge to unleash this bloody, tragic and utterly futile war in Afghanistan. The lesson of America’s experience in that country should be a new “Afghanistan syndrome,” a public aversion to war that prevents future US military attacks and invasions, rejects attempts to socially engineer the governments of other nations, and leads to a new and active American commitment to peace, diplomacy and disarmament.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Fair Observer’s editorial policy.

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[oh-roman]

sweeter

Harry misses his family.

I.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017.

Harry’s biggest fan is four years old.

He has shoulder length brown curls that he insists he brush every night before bed, on his mother’s request. His favorite color is a soft purple and his favorite song is none other than “Meet Me In The Hallway” by his all time favorite daddy in the world, Harry Styles.

Harry had been gone on tour for seven months now, however he hadn’t missed his routine schedule to call Lucas after school on Friday’s and Tuesday’s. Most times Lucas would rant to Harry about the turmoils of kindergarten and express his adorable complaints about the nap-time procedure and the unfair justice of the mere fifteen minute play time. Harry would listen to Lucas’s thirty minute rants and giggle through his replies—only responding sheepishly.

Lucas let out of school at 2pm everyday, but the time zones made it difficult for Harry to sometimes wake up at 3am—just three hours he had returned from a concert venue—to speak to his little.

“Hi, daddy!” He’d answer, holding his mother’s phone completely up to his ear and practically yelling into the speaker.

“‘Ello, ducky,” Harry knuckled at his eyes and yawned away from the speaker. “Was your day incredible?”

He thought about it for a second and swung his legs back and forth in the car seat, starring at the passing cars. “Yes, it was incredible.” He replied, finally.

Harry pulled his lips into a smile and rolled into his side in his hotel bed to click the lamp on.

“How’s mummy?” Harry sat up against the headboard and yawned again, away from the headboard.

“She’s incredible too,”

“Tha’s good. Hope you’re bein’ good to her. She does a lot fo’ you, y’know?” Harry toyed with the TV remote in his hand

“Yes, I know,” He began tracing her finger along the glass window. “Hey, Dad? Mummy says I can’t bring Lola to school.”

“She’s right,” Harry ran a hand through his hair and imagined Lucas pouting by the phone speaker. “The school has a no pet policy. Maybe one day at show and tell, yeah? School year’s just started.”

“Lola’s not just a pet. She’s my friend.”

“She’s a kitten, ducky. The school’ll only see her as an animal. Listen t’your mother.”

“Dad?” Harry hummed in response. “When are you coming home?”

The question was shockingly difficult to answer for two reasons. He no honest knowledge of when he’d be able to return home. He and Y/N had purchased a comfortable home in a small town in northern Michigan. It was amidst a beautiful forest that looked heavenly during the summer months and completely chaotic during winter. However, it kept his family out of sight of paparazzi and safe from the cruelty of the media; the world and its opinions. The worst it got was when Y/N would sometimes have to wave off fans outside of the bridal shop she worked or the girls who waited for her to pick up Lucas after school. Harry hated the attention at times, but delved in the support. He decided it was harder than anticipated, to separate work from his personal life. The truth was: he didn’t have privacy and from the outside looking in, he was nothing more than a famous (a word in which he hated) song writer and performer, who occasionally worked in films, with a sweet personality. If anyone had bothered to look a little closer, they would have known how painfully hard it was to leave his life behind and the even bitter heartache it felt to have to say goodbye to his son over the speaker of his phone, thousands of miles away.

“Soon,” Harry felt a weight on his chest, so he cleared his throat and adjusted his eye contact to several trinkets in the room—as to distract himself from the truth.

“I’ll be home sooner than you know it.”

. . .

Saturday, February 17, 2018.

Harry’s biggest fan was set to turn five today.

Flight 408 was the only thing that kept a slight grin on Harry’s face all morning. He’d fly to Michigan and get to surprise Y/N and Lucas with his presence and gifts of course. It would a two day vacation for him—not extremely long, but a long enough time to shake the feeling of loneliness that he felt for the past seven months.

He hadn’t called and notified Y/N of his arrival—insisting he keep it a surprise.

He exited the airport full of screaming fans, the weight of bodyguards pushing his body a bit, and the annoyed onlookers—all watching Harry walk with his head down toward the doors. If he were honest, all of the noise gave him a bit of a headache and (like most days), he wished he weren’t the Harry Styles and just a guy going home for his don’t birthday. It was god knows how early in the morning and the nap he took on the plane made his mood far too great to be ruined by a lack of noise control in the airport.

From the view of the car window, hailed by Uber, Harry traced his finger against the cold glass and watched as the snow fell delicately (or, so it looked like) and blanketed every tree in sight—towering over everybody. The ride home was anything but smooth—it was a bumpy one, considering the amount of ice on the half-plowed roads. However, nothing felt better than treading up the four steps leading the front door of his home—Gucci duffel bag draped over his shoulder, suitcase handle in one hand, keys in another and a box with shiny wrapping paper, tucked under his arm.

. . .

The house smelled warm of spices and a light floral scent. It was only five in the morning, but he knew exactly why and it made him smile a little.

Y/N was never a morning person like him and so she sipped in hot tea early in the mornings to try and change this vindication. It helped her cope with things—work, family, the world. In fact, he knew exactly where she would be at this time of morning.

He toed his boots off at the door and let his coat drape from his body. The floor was freshly mopped; he could tell by the way he almost slipped in his socks, with every step. Y/N cleaned more than a janitor.

He made silent steps up the stairs—careful not to trip over Lola, who curled up on the top step—and walked all the way to the master bedroom. The room looked the same as he remembered it—black and pink accents everywhere.

The bedroom had everything Y/N ever wanted in a home. A walk-in closet, big enough bathroom, storage on the walls and (her absolute favorite) a patio, leading outside. It was bitter cold outside with unforgiving Michigan winds, so Harry had floor to ceiling windows installed, so that Y/N could watch the snow fall in the mornings, while still being in the comfort of warmth.

He brushed his fingers over the mattress and sighed a bit before a slight noise caught his attention and he lifted his eyelids. She shifted her weight on the carpet and gasped so hard he feared she might drop her mug and spill the tea all over the rug.

He was smiling, but he didn’t know how to react; he could hardly remember to breathe, until she bent down to set her mug on the coffee table and began treading toward him with silent expressions.

She pressed her body against his, in a fragile manner. As if he would break if she weren’t careful enough. Harry craned his neck to bury his face in her neck—taking in her scent. She always felt so soft, like putty in his hands. He insisted he ransack her back and hips with the touch of his fingers. They both sighed at the feeling of being in each others warmth; basking in the slight sunrise peeking through the windows and settling on their skin.

Y/N ran her fingers up to settle on the nape of his neck, then through his hair—though their wasn’t much to grab on to.

“You’ve cut your hair,” She sighed into his chest and lifted her head to see him. He nodded and let out a breathy laugh.

“Why didn’t you call?” She drowned her eyebrows a bit and held onto his biceps. “Could’ve made you breakfast, or had a cup of coffee waiting for you,”

Harry couldn’t wipe the smile from his lips. Her cuteness was inevitable at this point, so he just lifted his hand to thumb at her bottom lip, softly. “‘M not hungry,” He traced his thumb down the curve of her throat. “Wanted t’surprise you, plus the little one turns five today.”

She hummed in response and he felt the vibration on the pad of his thumb. A fire was burning in his chest and rising up the length of his neck.

When Harry pressed his lips against her’s, he did so out of need. It was selfish, but he deemed it necessary. They had both been deprived of the natural affirmation interlocked in their bodies. Being apart was arguably the worst harm they ever experienced. Not being able to properly hold to one another—it drove them equally insane.

“Daddy!”

Harry jumped and pulled away from Y/N with a smack—craning his neck around to see Lucas running toward him with small legs and a huge smile. Harry kneeled and opened his arms wide with approval. He caught Lucas’s body and held him near—softly bundling his short curly locks between his fingers.

“Wha’a you doin’ up so early?” Harry pulled back a bit and moved a whips of Lucas’s hair between his ear.

“I had to pee,” He shrugged.

“This isn’t the bathroom, y’know,” Harry chuckled and held onto his son’s sides.

“Mummy helps me reach the sink,” He giggled.

Harry hummed and quickly glanced back at Y/N. “Good t’hear you’re makin’ it to the bathroom. ‘S long as you aren’t messing up your sheets anymo’,” Harry tickled his sides a bit—quickly moving his fingers outside of Lucas’s Toy Story pajama shirt. He stopped shortly after and Lucas smiled wide—missing teeth and all—and fell against Harry’s chest.

“I missed you, daddy,” He mumbled, wrapping his little arms around Harry’s neck.

“Missed you more, Lou.” His voice almost broke, but he cleared his throat instead and blinked away the tears that threatened the corners of his eyes. “Look a’ wha’ I picked up.

Lucas pulled back and watched as Harry snuck a hand in his back pocket and pulled something out. It was a small, lazily wrapped rectangle. Lucas gasped and began jumping as if Harry had just surprised him with a new car. Lucas held it carefully, barely wrapping his fingers around it, as to not ruin the terribly wrapped present.

“Happy birthday, ducky.” Harry nodded toward him, insisting he open it. Lucas sat on the floor, with his legs criss-crossed and tore the packaging open, revealing what he had so desperately anticipated. A Hershey’s bar.

Lucas gasped again. “A chocolate!” His voice was small and squeaky—only making all of this so much more amusing. Then, his smile suddenly fell and he looked up at Harry with sad eyes. “Mummy says no sweets in the morning,”

Y/N’s mouth fell as Harry and Lucas both looked up at her as if she were some kind of monster. Harry raised and eyebrow and grinned a little.

“Go on,” Y/N sighed, crossing her arms and Lucas hissed a “yes” while ripping the chocolate from the wrapper and taking a big bite from the bar. Harry chuckled and his shoulders rose and fell.

“‘S good, yeah?” Harry asked, wiping a smudge of chocolate from Lucas’s cheek, who nodded fast and giggled, because the chocolate had melted a bit so it was making his hands all sticky.

“Alright, let’s get you all cleaned up.” Y/N interjected, quickly jogging over to Lucas; fearing he might get chocolate on the tan carpet. She picked him up and Harry stood as well.

“Thank you,” She whispered reaching up to tap Harry’s cheek with her free hand.

“‘F course, pet,” He mumbled, catching her hand and kissing the back of it. “I’ll go start breakfast,” He squeezed her hand now and leaned down to press his lips against hers. It wasn’t long before Lucas was squirming in his mother’s arms, giggling with a string of “eww’s”.

. . .

Waffles were his forté.

That and banana nut bread, which was rising in the oven. It just so happened to be Y/N’s favorite, so he made sure to follow his mother’s recipe—that he had memorized for years—perfectly.

Harry connected his phone to the kitchen Bluetooth system and “Love that Burns” by Fleetwood Mac lowly hummed throughout the speakers.

“Can I help?” Lucas squealed from down below, holding onto Harry’s thigh like a tree.

“Only if you promise not t’eat the merchandise.” Harry focused on whipping the waffle batter together, whilst glancing at the clock above the stove.

“I promise!” Lucas yelled and Harry grinned while cleaning his batter-strikes hands on a kitchen towel, before bending down to hoist Lucas up onto a kitchen chair, so that he could reach the counter.

Harry sliced the fruit, while Lucas sprinkled chocolate chips into the waffle batter—it was Harry’s way of sneaking sweets into breakfast without much fuss.

Lucas made “oo’s” and “ahh’s” as Harry carefully poured a small amount of the batter into the waffle iron. He giggled at his reactions and craned his neck down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Can I put on the Carolina song, now?” He pleaded and Harry pretended to think about it for a moment, stroking his chin and raising an eyebrow in thought. Lucas giggled at Harry’s antics and finally Harry nodded and watched as Lucas clapped his hands in success.

Y/N walked downstairs in a loosely wrapped silk robe, with undergarments underneath. She was working her hands through her slightly wet curls—a bit defined from the water—, attempting to pull it into a messy bun. At the same time, she was raking the coconut out left on her hands, onto her scalp.

“She’s a good girl!” Harry and Lucas shouted, swaying their hips and shaking her heads. They were both shirtless with batter-stained pajama pants. Y/N rolled her eyes at their little dance party, taking a seat at the kitchen island. The island was decorated with three plates lined with strawberries and sliced mangoes. The boys faced away from her, still dancing around and holding imaginary microphones.

Eventually Y/N managed to get all her hair into a low bun—though some curls still managed to fall. Harry turned around, holding a plate with two hands while Lucas carefully held the forks and knives. Harry winked her way—his dimples peeking. Just as Harry bent down to lift Lucas onto the bar stool, “Ever Since New York” came on shuffle. Lucas gasped and raised his arms, excitedly.

“This one’s my favorite!” He said, leaning his elbows on the island table. He said that about every song on the album, which is why Harry made it routine to teach Lucas a few chords in the songs, on the grand piano that sat in the guest bedroom. Most times however, Lucas was more satisfied leaning onto Harry’s arm and watching as his dad moved his fingers on the keys and sang to him. This was before the tour, so Lucas had to settle with hearing Harry’s voice over a radio, or (his favorite) a vinyl.

“Looks good, Styles.” Y/N said, as Harry sliced the banana bread and distributed a slice to everyone. He lifted his eyes toward her and grinned, before licking the stray crumbs from his thumb and walking over to her with bright eyes. He stood there for a moment and stared at her, thumbing over her right cheek.

“Love you,” He blurted.

Y/N paused for a moment before replying. He thought maybe the music was too loud for her to hear what he said. Thought maybe Lucas’s singing was too much.

“Oh! Tell me somethin’ I don’t already know!” Lucas screamed, squeezing his eyes shut.

Before he could react and turn the volume down or signal Lucas to stop, she was calling his cheeks in her hands and moving her lips over his. She was so soft at it—maneuvering over his lips like a kind of velvet. No tongue or bucking of the hips—just plain endearment. Half of this was because they didn’t want to scar the poor boy too much on his fifth birthday. However, they also simply loved the pure attachment; wanting nothing more than to be in each other’s presence without a care in the world. And that’s how they felt—together, surrounded by problems they didn’t have to worry about.

Harry pulled back, only because he knew she hadn’t eaten and the bread (made just for her) was getting cold. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and walked backward away from her, still grinning. He turned the song down so taht it merely hummed and pulled his own chair out.

“Wait,” Y/N tapped the table. “Could you get the c-a-k-e from the fridge?” She asked, watching as Lucas furrowed his eyebrows and concentrated on figuring out what she had just spelled out.

Harry nodded and came back to the table with a three layer chocolate cake in hand. It had Lucas’s name spelled out on top, as well as five rainbow striped candles.

“Close your eyes, ducky,” Harry said, turning off the lights and setting the cake on the table. He grabbed a lighter from the drawer and flicked the fire against each candle. “Alright, open up,”

Harry took his seat next to Lucas and draped his arm around him, before clearing his throat. “One and two and,” Harry nodded toward Y/N before they began singing Happy Birthday, ending it all with a loud applause and forehead kisses.

. . .

Two slices of cake, three refills of orange juice, and one slice of banana nut bread later, Lucas was nodding sleepily, before slouching onto Harry’s arm, snoring slightly.

“C’mon birthday boy,” Harry mumbled, picking him up, while Y/N began clearing the table.

Harry came back into the kitchen, running both hands through his hair. He yawned a bit and leaned against the sink edge while Y/N scrubbed the last of the dishes. Once she was done, she wiped her hands clean and turned toward Harry with a sigh. He cleared his throat and held her hips, with a smug smile on his lips.

She parted her lips to speak, but it was too late, once he had bent his knees a bit and picked her up to straddle him. She squealed a little, though it was masked in laughter. He carried her over to the sofa, but not before popping an extra strawberry that sat on the counter, into his mouth. He fell back on the couch with an exasperated sigh. His jaw worked at the strawberry, while she traced her fingers over his neck, lovingly—feeling his throat contract when he swallowed.

“So, I was thinking,” He started, resting his hands on her waist, making circles with his thumbs. “Wha’ if you two fly t’France with me,”

She smiled and let her arms fall to her lap. “You’re crazy,” She said, raising a brow.

“‘M serious,” He said—his laugh throaty. “I’ll fly you out Thursday night, so Lou won’t miss school, then you can stay the night at my ‘otel and we can spend Friday together,”

Y/N shook her head and ran her hands over her face. “I have to work and Lucas has show and tell, Friday. Says you told him he could bring Lola,”

“Oh, fuck the bloody show ‘n tell,” He laughed and Y/N shushed him, craning her neck toward the hallway to make sure Lucas hadn’t crawled up from bed to listen in. “Call off work, Y/N. You haven’t taken off in months, pet. I know you’re tired,” He brushed his hands in circles over the silk robe.

She waited a second, crossing her arms, before shrugging her shoulders. His eyes lit up and he licked his lips. “Could have Lucas see his first Harry Styles concert,” He suggested and she closed her eyes, giggling softly, while leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’ll call off tomorrow,” She mumbled.

“Perfect,” Harry hummed, letting the weight of his head fall back onto the sofa, using his hands to race up and down the length of her back—focusing his eyes on the pattern on the ceiling with a grin at his lips.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles tour #harry x reader #dad harry #dad!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff

[winterinpanem]

Christmas Angels - Chapter 1

AN – My dad didn’t grow up with very much. About 10 years ago, he decided he didn’t want my husband and me to pay the money to ship a gift halfway across Canada to his door. Instead, he wanted us to donate what would have spent on his gift to a children’s charity. He does the same for us. Thus began our annual tradition of choosing gifts for needy kids off the angel tree at our local mall. This story is inspired by our tradition. And by my Peeta, who has become so invested in the project that he motivates his students at the business college where he works to purchase gifts as well. Over the last three years about 300 kids have benefitted from their work.

——-

December 16

The incessant beeping of the back alarm is making my skin crawl, but I still manage to get the cargo van aligned with the receiving doors at the back of the little bakery in Panem’s downtown. When they finally disappear from sight in my side mirror, I shift the van into neutral and set the parking brake.

Normally, I’m busy packing hampers during my Saturday volunteer shift at the Seam Street Food Bank, but Mags, the manager, had been frantic this morning. Haymitch, her usual truck driver had called in sick, which really meant drunk. Without him, Mags had no one to pick up the Saturday donations. So, I’ve been spending my time, backing up to door after door as Panem’s local restaurants and grocery stores pass on perfectly good food that they’d just be tossing in the trash because it’s not quite as fresh as their customers demand.

Had it not been for the food bank a few years ago, I’d have been digging through the dumpsters of every one of these establishments, trying to put enough food on the table to keep my little sister and I fed. My mother was a lost cause, too busy spending our meagre welfare cheque on booze to make sure we got something to eat. I guess I was just lucky Mags didn’t ask questions the first time I went into the old warehouse on Seam Street and signed up for a hamper. Or she’d seen it so many times that she knew reporting my situation to the authorities was likely to make my life worse instead of better. Either way, she and her food bank saved me and my sister. Every Saturday since I got a job and got out on my own, I’ve spent a little time packing hampers, trying to pay her back for what she did for me.

The holidays are the busiest time of year at the food bank. Not because there are suddenly more poor people. It’s just that all of the sudden, the not-so-poor people decide they need to give more to charity to make up for the ridiculous amounts they’re spending on stuff they don’t need. Mags makes sure to stow away the canned goods and frozen foods for the lean months in February and March when everybody’s credit card bills have rolled in and they’re too pinched for cash to remember that human beings need to eat every day and not just at Christmas.

I take a quick glance at the list on the clipboard Mags gave me. Mellark’s Bakery. Well, it looks like I’m in the right place. I guess the baker must have made too many cookies this week. Or some bread is about to go stale that can’t be sold to paying customers. Our clients won’t complain. Slightly stale bread toasts just fine. Throw on some peanut butter for protein and you’ve got a happy, reasonably well-fed kid. I snatch up the receipt book, just in case the baker wants one for his unsalable goods, and do a quick check in the rearview mirror. Can’t represent the food bank with something stuck in my teeth. I stare back at my reflection. My grey eyes look clear. My braid is neat. Nothing stuck between my teeth. Since I don’t look like I’ve been hit by the ugly stick, I jump down from the cab, my breath swirling in the crisp, winter air.

The sound of my hiking boots crunching on the packed snow echoes through the alleyway as I make my way to open the van before banging on the bakery’s back door. I only have to give a few swift knocks before I hear someone snapping open the locks on the other side of the door. The door swings wide and I’m face to face with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen, set in one hell of a handsome face topped by wavy blonde hair. That face is the picture of surprise at the moment. I guess the baker was expecting Haymitch.

“I’m from the food bank?”

The eyes blink twice and then he manages to flash me a blinding smile full of straight white teeth. “Oh! Great! I’m Peeta Mellark.” He sticks out his hand. “I’m glad you’re here.” I wait for him to open the door to let me in, but instead he steps outside. He’s still in his shirt sleeves, but he doesn’t seem cold. “They’re up in the apartment,” he says, as though that explains something I should already know. He starts climbing a wooden staircase that runs between the bakery door and a second door. He stops about halfway up. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Into your apartment?” I wait for him to figure out why that’s not on.

He reddens a bit and rubs his hand over his hair, making it stand up in spots. “I’m not a creep, I swear. I mean, I was expecting a guy. She said Haystack, or something, was coming to pick them up.”

I guess he’s got a point, but I’m stubborn. “Not today. Can’t you just bring whatever it is down?”

He sort of laughs. “Why don’t you just come and see for yourself?”

I can’t help it. I’m not exactly a shrinking violet and he’s piqued my curiosity as to what this is all about, so I huff and start stomping up the steps behind behind him. He leads the way, which gives me a close up view of his very fine ass, nicely rounded underneath his shapeless white pants. I don’t have long to admire the view, however. In less than a minute, we’re standing at the top of the stairs and he’s opening the door to the apartment. We step inside and I immediately understand the problem. Every surface of the apartment is covered in brightly wrapped packages topped with shiny bows. Each package also sports an angel-shaped tag, bearing the a child’s first name and their Christmas wish.

Every year, the food bank encourages its clients to make a wish for each of their children on one of those tags and they’re hung on a Christmas tree in the mall. Shoppers pick them up off the tree, and then return the gift to the food bank. I can’t say for sure, but by my estimation, this guy has single-handedly fulfilled the wishes of at least 100 kids who wouldn’t be getting anything for Christmas otherwise. I should know, I wrote my little sister’s name on those tags every year and then crossed my fingers for the kindness of strangers.

“How many?” I blurt out. The real question is why he did it, but that question seems a little too personal to be asking someone I just met.

“One hundred and forty-two,” he tells me, and if there’s a trace of pride in his voice, I don’t hear it..

I’m not sure why this stop was last on my list. The old cube van is already about half full with my other pick-ups. Mags must have known what I was picking up here. There’s no way she wouldn’t have noticed one person had committed to granting so many angel tree wishes. “I can get about half of them in the van now,” I tell him. “I’ll have to come back for the rest.”

The guy, I think he said his name was Peeta, nods quickly and sweeps a pile from the table top into his arms. I grab another pile off a nearby couch and we start back down the stairs. He holds the door and I lead the way down the stairs, finally stopping in front of the open van to load in the presents.

I realize then, that in order to load the van properly, one of us is going to have to wait inside the van to stack the gifts while the other brings them downstairs; otherwise, we’ll be climbing in and out of the van all afternoon.

Peeta recognizes the problem at the same moment. He puts down his load of gifts and gives me a bright smile. “I’ll go for the next load, while you pack these. Deal?”

“Sure.” I climb into the van and begin sorting the presents into piles. I decide to use the larger ones to form a base layer and set the small ones off to the side where they won’t get damaged.

Before long, Peeta returns with another armload. “Here are some more, um-” I can feel the corners of my mouth turning up I as gather the stack into my own arms, but a little wrinkle forms between his brows. “I don’t think I actually got your name.”

“Katniss,” I tell him, going back to playing Tetris with the gifts. I suppose it’s rude not to introduce myself properly. “Katniss Everdeen.”

“Katniss?” He sounds surprised and I tense, waiting for him to react to the unusual name my father chose for me. “Like the plant? Nice.”

I give him a quick look and he’s sporting a little smile with just the right touch of shyness, that makes it impossible to look away. “You know what a Katniss plant is?”

He shrugs. “Sure, I’m a baker. I have a book of all different sorts of plants. I sculpt flowers for wedding cakes all the time.”

I think of the simple blossom on my namesake plant. “Can’t be much call for Katniss cakes.”

His hand rubs against the back of his neck and I wonder if he’s getting cold. He’s still not wearing a coat. “No, but I flip by it all the time on my way to the lilies.” I nod in understanding and his hand falls to his side. “I’ll just, ah, get some more presents.” He shuffles away and I crawl out of the van to make more room. After a couple more loads, it’s as full I as I feel is safe. I slam the van’s rear doors closed.

“I’ll be back,” I tell him, and he’s just goofy enough to reply with a Terminator impression. I can’t help but laugh. “Give me an hour and we’ll get the rest of them loaded up.”

A few minutes later, I’m driving back through the city, once again grinding my way through the gears of this old van and hoping it holds together long enough for me to finish the gift delivery.

Mags meets me in the loading bay of the food bank. She gives me a cheery wave when I jump down from the van. I don’t know how the older woman manages to maintain such a positive attitude when she spends day after day in this place with all she has to deal with.

“You should have warned me about what was at the bakery,” I complain as I open the van doors.

Mags rolls her eyes and waves me off. She had a stroke last year and while she gets around just fine with the help of a cane, she lost her ability to speak.

“I’m serious, Mags, I would have done things differently had I known.”

The old woman holds up two fingers.

“I know I would have had to make two trips anyway, that’s not my point.”

Mags crooks her finger at me, indicating I should follow and heads for the doors. Her long grey hair is tied up today and trailing over her back. She stops on the threshold and points at two teenagers lounging against the building, cigarettes smouldering between their fingers, their expensive brand name jackets hanging open. They’re not clients. Mags never says, but we often have this type around the food bank. Working off their court appointed community service, I presume. She snaps her fingers at them and then points at the van. Marvel and Cato, at least I think that’s their names, put out their cigarettes and slouch off to do her bidding.

The warehouse is a hive of activity. Effie Trinket’s shrill voice carries from the back right corner. Effie’s been a food bank volunteer for as long as I’ve been coming here. With brassy gold hair that can’t possibly be real and sporting more makeup than any woman ought to wear, Effie is a force to be reckoned with. She’s managing the angel tree program this year, and from the looks of things, she’s got everything organized to the enth. Mags waves to Effie on her way to her office and gets a cheerful greeting in return. We pass rack after rack of shelving units. The macaroni and cheese section looks particularly loaded down right now. The tables where volunteers pack the hampers that go home with the clients are nearby. On the left, near the front doors, Chaff and Seeder are in the soup kitchen prepping for today’s hot meal, like they do every Saturday.

Mags’ office is in a closet-sized space near the front doors. I think it was where the factory workers used to punch in before heading out onto the floor to work. She snatches a small whiteboard off her desk.

So you met Peeta?

“Yes, Mags, I met him.”

Handsome.

She can say that again. “Yeah, I guess.”

Mags’ eyes are dancing as she erases her board. My second favourite volunteer, she scrawls.

Seriously? If cheerful, kind – and okay, yes, gorgeous – Peeta Mellark, with his sky blue eyes and sexy jaw is her second favourite volunteer, who would qualify as her favourite?

“He volunteers here? How come I’ve never seen him around?”

Mags shakes her head and picks up her marker again. He’s here on Thursdays. Soup kitchen. She holds the board up so I can read it. When I nod in understanding, she erases it and starts over. Always a long line for his cooking.

I snort. “Figures.”

Mags chuckles and erases her board again. Lots of women here on Thursdays.

This conversation is annoying. “Well, I should go see if those two slackers have got the van unloaded. I told your favourite volunteer I’d be right back.”

Mags shakes two fingers in my direction. “Right,” I recall. “Second favourite. Be back soon, Mags.”

She waves me off. When I come back into the main room, I find Effie practically having an orgasm over Peeta’s wrapping job.

“Oh Katniss,” she enthuses. “So few people appreciate that it’s the little things that make the difference. A child in need has as much need to be recognized as someone special as anyone else, to know that someone cares enough to make things nice for them. Oh!” She wipes a tear from her eye and holds up a brightly wrapped package topped in a hand-tied scarlet bow. “Look at this! It’s a work of art.”

Clearly, Effie Trinket has no idea what a ‘child in need’ actually needs, but I decide to let it slide since her heart is in the right place.

“Pretty,” I agree. “Well, I better go get the rest of them.”

“There’s more?” Effie is truly beside herself now. “Oh Katniss, think of the children!”

I shoot Effie a grimace wrapped in a smile, shake the keys to the van at her and head for the back door. The layabouts seem to have found a new hiding spot, at least but the van is empty. I fire it up and head back across town.   

I’ve barely backed up to the bakery and Peeta is throwing open the door, a delighted smile on his face. As I approach, I see that his blue eyes are twinkling.

“You’ve got perfect timing,” he calls as I open the back door of the van. “I’ve just flipped over the closed sign for the day.”

Now that I know this guy has Mags’ seal of approval, I’m more than ready to help him carry the gifts down from the apartment.

I start for the stairs, but Peeta appears in the bakery doorway, his arms full of gifts. I notice a blue and silver bow and envision Effie’s reaction. I don’t realize I’m scowling until he does a double take and shrugs good-naturedly. “I brought them down already. I thought it would save time.”

I hold out my arms and he passes the load off to me to stow in the van. The process goes much more smoothly with an empty van and we are soon moving swiftly past each other to pack the parcels inside. Well, I’m moving swiftly. Peeta seems to be limping.

“Hold up,” My hand closes around his rock-hard biceps. Who would have thought a baker would have arms like that? “Are you okay?”

His brow furrows. “Sure. Why?”

I give his leg a pointed look.

“Oh, he says. “Old injury. It gets aggravated when I overdo it.” He turns his back and shuffles back into the bakery kitchen.

I want to kick myself. Of course that’s why he asked for our van and needed help bringing them down the stairs. Thanks to me, this poor guy has made about 50 trips up and down the stairs today that he didn’t need to make.

“You should have told me,” I grumble as we sweep the last of the gifts into our arms and head back outside.

He stops and gives me an odd look as he stands at the van doors. “Crawling on my knees in the van wouldn’t have been any better for it Katniss. And I’m the one who decided to bring the rest down. You didn’t ask me to do that.”

I put my load down. “Because I balked at going upstairs.”

Peeta stows his pile. “Well, that was a little of it. Mostly, I was hoping to save a little time.”

I’m still frowning when I slam the van doors closed, but Peeta has his hands in his pockets and a slight smile on his lips. His wavy blonde locks have fallen into his eyes and he reminds me of little boy trying to charm himself out of trouble.   

“Have you got a few minutes? I make the best hot chocolate in town.”

I check my watch, but it’s not like I have to hurry back. The food bank will be open for hours yet, and it might be Saturday, but I don’t have any plans this evening. So, I shrug and agree.

Peeta’s smile transforms into a toothy grin and he leads the way back into the bakery. The kitchen is spotlessly clean. Every stainless steel surface is sparkling and while the ovens are clearly off. The heat in here is a startling difference from being outside for the last half hour. No wonder Peeta was loading gifts in his shirt sleeves.

He leads the way out into the cheerful storefront and moves toward an espresso machine where he heats the milk. Before long, two piping hot chocolates are steaming away in colourful mugs on the counter.

“The secret,” he confides, “is in the quality of the chocolate and real whipped cream.” He pulls a little container from the fridge. “Chocolate I grated this morning,” he explains as he sprinkles it on top.  He passes me a mug and waves me toward a couple of cafe tables set up under a colourful painting not far from the cash. Once we’ve settled in, he smiles at me and holds up his mug, “to a job well done.”

With a hear, hear, I clink my mug against his. I take a sip of the hot chocolate and don’t quite manage to stifle a groan. “You’re right,” I tell him. “This is the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had.”

Peeta smiles brightly at me and then chuckles. He leans across the table. “You have a little…” He flicks my nose and holds up his finger. A little blob of whipped cream sits on the pad. He pops it in his mouth and grins.

I don’t know whether to laugh or scowl, but I feel a blush stealing across my cheeks so choose the latter.

He laughs. “I can’t help but tease you, Katniss. Your reactions are priceless.”

“And here I was thinking you might be one of the good guys.”

He puts his mug on the table and watches as it spins it between his fingers. “I try to be. My dad always said being a good man was the most important thing I could do with my life.”

I recognize the tone. “When did you lose him?”

“This past summer,” he sighs and rubs his hands on his thighs before sitting back in his chair. “Cancer.”

“The first Christmas is rough,” I tell him, sipping my hot chocolate and taking care to wipe my nose. “It’s never easy, but it gets a little less hard every year.”

He leans forward. “Did you lose your dad?”

I nod. “Hunting accident.” It hurts even now to think of what happened, but I’ve had years of practice at disguising my feelings about it. My father was a hunting guide part-time to make extra money for our family. He was leading a group of guys from the Capitol out on a deer hunt. One of the idiots forgot to turn the safety on his gun. He got over-excited, mishandled the weapon and it went off. My dad got shot in the chest and he bled out before they could get him out of the woods. Our family was never the same after that.

“I’m sorry,” Peeta offers, and for once, I know that it isn’t a platitude. He understands exactly what it feels like to lose a parent.

“Thanks,” I tell him. “I���m sorry for your loss too.”

“This whole gift thing was about him,” he confesses. “He was a big supporter of the food bank and the angel tree was really important to him. Each year he would take my older brothers and me to the mall. We each picked an angel off the tree and then Dad would take us shopping to fulfill the wish. He said it was our gift to him.”

“Too bad there weren’t more people like your dad,” I remark. Peeta and I are about the same age. I wonder if he or his brothers ever took Prim’s angel off the tree.

“He was special,” Peeta agrees, and takes a sip of chocolate, watching me over the rim of the mug. “Once I grew up, we stopped buying gifts for each other and just did the angel tree. My brothers live out west and they do the same thing.” I don’t know what to say to that. I volunteer every week at the food bank, but this level of generosity is beyond what we usually see, even there, so I just nod and sip the rich nectar in my hand. “This year, it just seemed so incredibly sad that we wouldn’t do it together, I decided I needed to do something to honour him.”

“Well, you definitely did that. I’m sure he’d be very proud of you.” The words burst from me, and I cringe inside at my unusual burst of sentimentality, but Peeta accepts my words graciously, his cheeks a little pinker than they were minutes before. “Seriously, Peeta, you’ve made a huge donation. I’ve never seen anything like it from a single person.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t pay it all out of pocket. I held a silent auction here in the bakery. Told people what I was doing in memory of Dad. It was just way more successful than I imagined.”

I can just imagine the long list of bids on the auction items. There’s no doubt of my mind that Peeta could charm people into parting with their hard-earned money.  

I raise my mug to my lips only to find it empty and the corners of my mouth turn down in disappointment.

“I guess I should get going,” I sigh as I rise from the table, pushing away the urge to linger.  “Thank you for the hot chocolate.” He waves that off as though it were nothing. “And on behalf of the food bank, thank you for your donation.”

“My pleasure,” he replies, “on both counts.”

He collects the mugs and once we make our way into the kitchen, I head for the delivery door zipping up my jacket and adjusting my scarf. It’s really going to suck to have to climb into that frigid truck after the warmth of bakery.

“Hey Katniss?”

I whip around to find Peeta massaging his neck, a shy smile on his rugged features. “Do you want to, uh, exchange numbers?” I’m so distracted by the butterflies winging around in my chest that I forget to answer. He begins to backpedal. “I mean, don’t feel obligated or anything. But I feel like we made friends today. But I won’t be hurt if you don’t want-”

Friends. Of course he just wants to be friends. Why would a guy like him be interested in me? The butterflies come back to Earth and I pull my phone out of my pocket. “What’s your number?” The smile returns to his face and he rattles it off while I punch it in. I type a quick ‘It’s Katniss’ and press send.

When his phone chimes a second later, he pulls it from his pocket. “There you are,” he says with a smile and with some quick flicks, adds me to his contacts. “You’ll be sick of me in no time.”

~~~

Thank you @burkygirl!!!

[dailyaudiobible]

02/18/2021 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 6:1-7:27, Mark 3:7-30, Psalms 37:1-11, Proverbs 10:3-4

Today is the 18th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today like every day. What a joy. What a privilege that we can come together like this no matter what's going on, no matter where we are, no matter where we are on earth we can step into this different place, this safe peaceful place around the Global Campfire and just be together, knowing we’re not alone, knowing we’re on the same journey and knowing that…that the Father delights in us being on this journey together as we learn, as we grow, as things challenge us to change, which in effect is the essence of what repenting even is, to change, to change your mind,. And, so, we’re doing that a lot, we’re done that a lot already this year. And, so, let's dive in today, take the next step forward. We’re reading from the Common English Bible this week. Leviticus chapter 6 verse 1 through 7 verse 27.

Commentary:

Okay. Let’s look in the book of Mark for a second. Let me just…let me just quote Jesus out of the book of Mark. “A kingdom involved in the civil war will collapse” and “a house torn apart by divisions will collapse.” Like there's a part of me that feels like there's nothing else that needs to be said. A family, whether a national family or an immediate family that is splintered and fractured and divided by feuding is gonna collapse. It’s standalone solid wisdom but why is Jesus even saying this? He’s saying this because the religious people who are trying to be the leaders, the…the spiritual caretakers of the people are spreading false information about Jesus by saying, “He can do what He can do because He's empowered by the devil to do it.” Jesus simply responds basically, “how can…how does that even make any sense? If the devil’s divided against himself then the whole things going to come down, the whole thing will fall apart.” But then He goes on to talk about blaspheming the Holy Spirit. And the thing is, Jesus and the Pharisees and the Sadducees, they’re supposed to be on the same team. Jesus is a rabbi teaching Torah just like they are. Obviously, God is working through Him because He's performing miraculous healings and He is teaching with authority in a way that the people haven’t heard before. They’re supposed to be moving in the same direction, but instead they have gotten the Pharisees, the Sanhedrin, the leaders, the religious leaders of the people have gotten so sideways that the whole thing has become about control. The whole thing is about controlling people's behaviors. And they’ve been looking for reasons to accuse Jesus, but a couple of the reasons are the things that He does on the Sabbath. He breaks the rules in their minds. And, so, He disqualifies himself in their minds. And, so, Jesus is basically like, “yeah. You can curse all kinds of things. You can say…you can spout off your mouth and run it as much as you want but when you curse the Spirit of God, when you blaspheme the Holy Spirit, that doesn't bode well, which is exactly what the religious people are doing. They are calling the Spirit of God within Jesus, they are calling God's Spirit the devil, in part because they're jealous and envious of the way that the crowds are following Jesus and in part because they don't understand what's going on. They don't have eyes to see her ears to hear. And, so, they’re calling a move of God, like not just a move of God, they’re calling God in the flesh who is moving, they’re calling Him Satan, they’re calling Him the devil. This is where He gets His power. It's easy enough to look at that and go, “okay…well…you know…that's Jesus and I would never do anything like that.” But when we curse people…when we call them of the devil because their theology doesn't line up with ours, or their agenda, whether that be political or vocational or just life choices, if those aren’t in agreement with…with us and we start calling things the devil, it's…it's tricky waters because we can do the same thing by calling the Spirit of God within them the devil because we can't stand them, or we don't agree with them or we don't agree with some of the ways that they believe or we don't agree with some of the things that they do or want to do. We have to be particularly careful about people who are…who are brothers and sisters who…who will claim the name of Jesus and then we curse them. A house divided against itself will collapse. And I’m not saying that we’re not observant or that we can't look at the fruit. Like, Jesus says you’ll know by the fruit. But God works in counterintuitive ways and He does not care. He does not care what we think when it comes to do with His will. He’s going to perform His will through whoever He chooses however He chooses whenever He chooses. He is the Almighty God, and we have nothing to say about it. But labeling people as being empowered by evil, by the devil, if they aren’t explicitly claiming that we should be very careful. And the point of all this is that it should bring us to a place of humility. It's important that we guard our own heart and our own mind, that we keep our eyes on our own lives. Are we walking the narrow path that leads to life? If we are then it’s gonna be very difficult for us to throw labels on people, labels that may be cursing the Spirit of God within them.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, the last thing that we want to do is that. It's the last thing that we want to participate in. And, so, we just ask for forgiveness for the things that happen to us that we react to that just have us moving in destructive ways. We need to keep our eyes on our heart. We need to keep our eyes on You. You will lead us into all truth. Nobody else is gonna do that because nobody else can, no matter what news channels we watch. You are the only one that's gonna lead us into all truth. And, so, that's where our focus is, not on making up names and labeling and all of the kinds of stuff that lead us into a house divided. Come Holy Spirit, that we might not be divided inside of ourselves, that we might be wholehearted and give our whole heart to You. The rest isn’t our responsibility. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DAB family. I want to just thank God for your lives. May His blessings continue to follow you wherever you go. Also, again thank you so much to the Hardin family for this amazing ministry and those working behind the scenes. It's February the 14th and I just want to just say that I love you all because you are my brothers and sisters in Christ. And I want to read something from first John chapter 4 verse 9 to 13. God showed how much he loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends since God loved us that much, we surely should ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God, but if we love each other God lives in us and His love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us His Spirit as a proof that we live in Him and He in us. God bless you all. Love you all. Stay blessed and have a blessed week ahead. Take care. Sarah from London.

Hey siblings it's your little sis his little Cherry in Canada and I find myself praying a lot for people who are in chronic pain who are suffering. And tonight, I have been rereading second Corinthians 1 and I just want to pray for the suffering ones from second Corinthians 1 8 through 11. Daddy I want to pray for those who are crushed and overwhelmed beyond their ability to endure, those who think they'll never live through it, those expecting to die, those who don't have any hope left. I pray Daddy that Your plan and Your purpose would be fulfilled, that they would stop relying on themselves and learn to rely only on You who raise the dead. So, I’m praying for resurrection, resurrection of hope, that You would make a way where there seems to be no way, that You would part the sea, that You would make a road in the wilderness, Lord that You would answer their prayers in ways they haven't even considered. Daddy, that You would rescue them from mortal danger and rescue them again and continue to rescue them, that their confidence would be in You and that all those who would…who are praying for them would give thanks to You for graciously answering so many prayers. So, Lord I add my prayers for those who are suffering.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Renzo from Maryland. I just heard somebody called in on February 13th about just struggling with forgiveness and her name was Diana. And I just want to really like just pray that that can just go against that, we can just go against that spirit because that's something that I struggle with myself. There was a time in my life where I struggled with an addiction to pornography and I got freed from it but then right after the same…like right after that season was over and God just gave me His everlasting love and He just helped me not struggle with that anymore I struggled with unforgiveness toward the people that made me fall into that and influenced me. And it got so bad where I didn't even want to be in my own neighborhood, I didn't want to be in my own area. It was really really bad. But I just want to pray that we can go against that because just like you said even…even Jesus forgave Judas Iscariot. And let's just pray. Father God I just thank You for everything You bless us with Lord. And just please just help us to get closer and closer to You Lord and I just please pray for Diana that she just please just You help her with her unforgiveness Lord and whatever she's going through God just please help her to get closer and closer to You Lord and we love You and we thank You Jesus for everything You do and thank for dying on the cross in Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is John calling from Bethlehem it's been a few weeks I feel like at least anyway since I called in but I just wanted to say hi and let you guys know that the Corrado’s are doing well here in Pennsylvania. We’re thinking of and praying of so many of you. I just wanted you to…to know that. And also, I just wanted to mention today as I got through listening to the 15th of February's program and started to do the transcripts, just the very tail end of Exodus is just something that blows my mind. When we hear about God and His dwelling place and His presence filling the dwelling. It just reminded me so much of…well…here's the scripture, right? The Lord's cloud stayed over the dwelling during the day with lightning in it at night clearly visible to the whole household of Israel at every stage of the journey. And to me when I heard that, in so many…in so many aspects of Exodus really and all the work that we're seeing go into the tent, the Tabernacle - God's presence staying over the dwelling I just relayed that or related that to God's presence in our own dwelling during the day with lightning at night like gods lightning power to heal us in the evening as we rest clearly visible to the whole household of Israel every stage of the journey us being light in the world for everyone to see. And Lord Jesus right now I just thank You so much for the opportunity to be able to be in Your word and as we as we seek You that You are always there for us Father God that You found us first and we just thank You for that and then we thank You for Your word and how it brings to light so much of Your goodness in Your grace and mercy. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I pray everyone who is connected on social media that they will have discernment Lord. I pray that…that technology will not rule the lives of…of Your people, that they will that people will not be deceived, will be able to just connect themselves from that and seek You and be productive in their lives in a more personal here and now in the moment way I just pray that You will intervene and that You will break the addictions around technology Lord. In Jesus’ name.