#I don’t know how I’ll survive winter break without him

[teddiesworldd]

after the world ends.

ghost finds you out in the woods during a zombie outbreak and falls in love with you. (2.6K words) read part 2 here!!!

a/n: this idea has been on my mind for a while and it was so sweet i just had to write it down and share it with you <3 also, if you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know!

pairing: simon ghost riley x female reader

tags/warnings: nsfw, mdni!!, apocalypse au, mentions of weapons, killing (zombies), survival situation, unprotected p in v sex, cute fluffy stuff in the middle of a zombie apocalypse because why not?!, soap makes an appearance

day 17 of the apocalypse, 3 weeks after the first outbreak.

you had lasted this long purely by camping out in the back of your car, driving somewhere more remote to avoid the infected and rationing whatever you'd managed to bring in from your kitchen at the beginning of it all. but as supplies got low and you were down to your last water bottle, you were forced to venture out into the nearby woodland, gathering whatever you could forage from the streams and bushes. you knew absolutely nothing about surviving out here. you couldn’t hunt and could barely light a fire. the first day of winter was in less than a month and you had no real shelter to keep you warm. you had no idea which berries were safe to eat or how to filter water. all you had was your kitchen silverware for protection and your best winter jacket for the weather.

you’d last about 2 weeks out here at best, and that’s without the fucking zombies. 

you'd been walking for about an hour since leaving your car, and to be honest, you didn’t think you could find your way back now. everything looked the same. you had found only a pocketful of what you could only guess was edible, and a protein bar from the pocket of a dead guy’s jeans. every single noise scared the hell out of you. and the bite marks on his neck raised your adrenaline tenfold. 

thud. thud. snap.

footsteps. sticks breaking underfoot. 

“who’s there?” you called out. “i’m- i’m serious, come any closer and… and… i’ll kill you!”, shouting now, cold hand gripping your rusted kitchen knife tightly.

you saw a huge figure behind the trunk of a nearby tree, and he chuckled lowly at your brave attempt to scare him away. “you don’t scare me, sweetheart”, the voice said, deep and rough, walking out from behind the tree, “thought y'were a rabbit or something - cute lil' thing, rustling in those bushes. and if i was infected, you’d be dead by now, with a mouth on you like that.”

he was an absolute giant of a man, 6 and a half foot at least and built like a brick shithouse. he was in full military gear, skull mask over his face, armed with a rifle in hand and knives strapped to his chest and belt. he approached you slowly, palms facing you like he was trying not to spook a stray cat. part of you wondered if you were hallucinating - you'd not been sleeping well from the nightmares of the infected night after night.

“no use shouting, anyway - they’ll find you straight away making all that noise.” he continued, leaves crunching under his black boots, walking closer, “what’s a girl like you doing out 'ere, all alone?”

you were frozen in place, like a deer in headlights. he was already intimidating as fuck without the massive armoury hanging round his waist, but now he was so close you could feel his breath on your face. a thought crossed your mind that if he tried to kill you now, there would be absolutely nothing you could do to stop him. it made a shiver run down your back.

his gloved hand reached out to hold your chin. you looked up at him, eyes welling up from the pure fear that ran through you.

“lost?” he said quietly, tilting his head to get a proper look at you. 

you nodded slowly.

“well, you won’t get far with that old thing, love” he smirked through the mask, eyeing the blade in your hand. “here, i’ll take you back to camp with me, make you a proper meal, yeah? when did you eat last?”

you engaged in some light small talk on the way, finding out he was called “ghost” and he used to serve in a special operations unit for a private military company. i guess it made sense that the best survivors would be the soldiers. you mentioned how you’d been living in your car for the past two weeks, which seemed to amuse him. he probably thought you were just some dumb girl who’d somehow managed to scrape through until now.

he wasn’t wrong, really.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

his camp was much nicer than the back of your car. 

it wasn't far from where he'd found you. they had lots of weapons and food and beds. and people. there must of been about 10 men in total. the infected weren’t really an issue with their impressive arsenal. there was a large fence surrounding the camp and the men took it in turns to kill anything that tried getting inside. it was pretty clear that ghost was closest to one of the other ex-military guys called "soap". they sat together when they ate and stayed up late at night talking together around the fire - matching dog tags glinting in the dim light. you often watched them through your tent door - enjoying their company but not wanting to interrupt their conversation. you listened as they talked deeply, recounting their time serving together, telling stories of bravery and bloodshed. it became your routine to fall asleep listening to them.

after about 3 or 4 weeks, following the first snowfall, you’d adjusted to life in the camp. soap had taught you a few things and often spent the mornings taking you hunting or showing you how to use the guns - a hand on your waist as he lined you up for the kill shot. he had a sweet nature and silly charm to him, telling you ridiculous jokes that only made you laugh because they were so stupid. you would never tell him that though - he thought you found him hilarious.

however, it was ghost you’d grown closest to, giving you anything and everything you needed. he was mysterious and that drew you to him. one time, he took you down to the river to wash the cookware and yourselves, and you'd caught a glimpse of him pulling off his clothes and mask, blonde hair and muscles seeing the light of day. you couldn't deny it - he was gorgeous.

he often checked on you in the evenings, making sure you’d settled in okay. he sat next to your bed, running a gloved hand over your hair, rubbing small circles into your scalp.

“you like the boys?” he’d ask, “they treating you okay?”

and you’d nod, just like you’d do every night.

“not scared, are you, doll?”

you shook your head.

“good. just making sure.”

and with that, he’d leave, heading to his own tent to rest, or out to guard the fence.

but one night, before he got up to get some sleep, you grabbed his hand. he looked back at you, dark eyes watching yours.

“stay?” you whispered.

and he did, without a word. stripping off his heavy gear and perching next to you in bed, rough camo trousers scratching against your bare shoulder. 

and he stayed, just like you asked. watching over you like a dog and keeping you safe.

sometime in the night, you’d turned to face him where he sat, resting an arm over his thigh. but he didn’t push you off. he just let you rest - your warm breath causing a dampness throughout the tent. 

it was only when the winter sunlight streamed through the tent that you realised he really did stay - all night. you opened your eyes to see he’d settled in next to you, his sleeping body alongside yours in the small camp bed, your arm still around him. 

and when you tried to pull yourself away out of embarrassment, he pulled it back, keeping it over his chest. 

“for warmth, yeah?” he said quietly, voice all deep and sleepy.

and how could you argue with that? these were trying times, after all. 

after a moment's silence, he said “you’re a pretty thing, love. always thought so, even when i first met you and you were all scared and dirty.” he continued, heavy eyes looking down at your vulnerable form. “soap thinks so too, but you’re mine, yeah? i found you - you’re mine.”

there was something about the possessive glint in his eye that showed you he really meant it - his gaze trailing down from your face to your uncovered hips that had shuffled out the sheets in your sleep.

"cm'ere" he said, taking your arm in his grasp and pulling you towards him. "i mean it, love. do you wan' to be mine?" eyes watching your face to see how you'd react to his question. your faces were close now, closer than they'd ever been. he'd looked after you so nicely, giving you everything you needed, protecting you from harm all this time. you couldn't help but agree with him. how could anyone not fall for this attractive man who cared for you so much? and the feeling of his chest under your hand made you fall for him even harder.

"yeah," you whispered against his masked face "...yours."

your small hand reached up to reveal his lips under his mask. he pulled you in, kissing you softly. it was short but there was so much behind it. you could tell he wanted more but he was holding back. he didn't want to accidentally push you away by moving too fast. he pulled back to look at you, hands cupping your soft face, which was still clouded with sleep.

"you're so beautiful, you know that?" he spoke so softly now. it was like the walls he'd put up had fell instantly. he just wanted a moment to be yours. no one else's. not the camp's cook or the guard or the hunter. just yours and nothing else.

you pulled yourself back to his face, kissing him again but soon moving your lips down to kiss his chin, and then his neck. but you didn't get far before he stopped you.

"no, no, love. let me take care of you - you deserve it." he said, turning you around so you were on your back, head resting on your plush pillow as his touch relaxed you.

it was almost as if for just a moment, you weren't in the middle of a fucking nightmare. you were at home, in your own bed. maybe you'd met him at work or out on a date - anywhere that wasn't in a forest full of zombies. and he'd taken you out for dinner a few times and you'd decided he was sweet enough to be kissing down your body, rolling his tongue over your nipples.

but here you were, in a camp full of strangers, being transported by this man who you barely knew, covered only by the walls of a thin tent. but it just felt so right to let him take you like this. you trusted him with your life. and in return he worked your body like magic. his touch was so gentle - yet his skin was so rough compared to your own.

"you want me inside you, baby?" he spoke to you so softly, having kissed down to the top of your underwear now. his eyes watched you, waiting for your permission to carry on.

"please," you replied, "i want you."

that was all he needed to hear. he pulled off his shirt and your underwear, tossing them both to the side. he admired your body shamelessly, eyes tracing the outline of your waist and your body. you couldn't help but do the same, entranced by the way his muscles practically glowed in the light that came through the tent. he was built like a rugby player, pure muscle but with a good layer of fat on top to smooth everything out. you watched as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock.

he was huge. you knew he was a big guy but you weren't expecting it to apply to all of him. it was definitely bigger than anyone you'd ever been with. his tip was an angry shade of red from how hard he was, precum running down his shaft. noticing the expression on your face, he reassured you.

"don't worry, i'll be gentle with you."

he lined himself up with your entrance, your wetness being enough to allow himself to push slowly inside. it stretched you more than you ever had been, causing you to hiss as it dipped inside you. he bent forward down to kiss you sweetly, silencing your pained noises, shushing you each time his lips left yours. he continued to move in until he bottomed out inside of you.

"you okay?" he grunted, "tell me when to move, love."

you paused for a moment, adjusting to his size before nodding to let him know he could start moving.

he didn't fuck like you expected him to. you thought a guy like him would be railing you like an animal, but no. he made love to you, his slow but deep thrusts hitting all the perfect spots in your gummy walls. it was pure bliss, and he thought so too, struggling to keep back his grunts each time he thrust into you.

"fucckkkk baby," he'd say, dog tag hanging down as he fucked you, "your pussy is so tight, gripping me so good". he hooked your legs behind his back and moved his big hands onto your hips to hold you in place. " is it good for you too, doll? you look so pretty with that fucked-out look on your face." he went on, smirking at you like he was proud of his work.

you couldn't even form words, let alone piece together a decent response. he felt amazing, pulling all the way out so only his tip was inside of you and then pushing all the way back in again, until you were an absolute drooling mess, jaw slack and whining on his cock. and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, he moved his hand between your legs and rubbed lazy circles on your clit with his thumb. almost instantly your pussy started pulsing around him - with you blubbering out incoherent swears and moans - having sent you completely over the edge in a matter of minutes. he wasn't far away either - your clenching making his hips stutter back and forth as he helped you ride through your orgasm. you could of swore you were seeing stars by the time he pulled out of you and came over your stomach with a moan, pressing his forehead to yours.

it took you both a few minutes to come back down again, giggling and kissing his lips once more. your arms found their way around his neck, holding him close to you. you were both a panting mess, clothes discarded across the tent floor and the scent of sex heavy in the air.

"my girl- you're gorgeous," he managed to huff out, catching his breath. " 'm never getting over you."

when news broke that a zombie apocalypse was spreading, you had no idea it would lead to this hunk of a man in bed with you - spoiling you and loving you like this. you weren't complaining, though. not at all. at least something good came from it.

he cleaned you up so carefully, being sure not to press too hard on your sensitive body. and when he'd made sure you were okay, he brought you something to eat and led down with you, stroking up and down on your back, drawing shapes and letters on your skin. part of you couldn't believe this was the same guy who you watched shoot a zombie in the face through the fence the other day. his hands were so gentle, always cautious not to hurt you under his touch.

and as your eyes grew heavy again, revelling in his embrace, you heard him say something into your skin.

"simon," he said quietly, face buried in your neck. "my real name's simon."

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#simon ghost riley #ghost smut #cod mw2 #simon riley #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #call of duty #cod modern warfare #task force 141 #ghost x reader #cod fanfic #call of duty smut #teddiesworldd

[radiant-reid]

Santa Tell Me (Explicit)

Summary: Spencer’s a really good gift giver, but you have some surprises up your sleeve too. a/n: any ideas on what my winter collection is ?

Requests:

have you seen the wrapping paper outfits that are going across social media platforms right now? What would Spencer’s reaction be to seeing his s/o like this? cate i absolutely NEED a fic of reader wearing said anklet and spence glancing at it or wtv during sex.. idk how to word this but mainly what you described in the christmas blurb!!!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (fluffy smut)

Content Warning: NSFM daddy kink, fingering, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2.6k

Masterlist | Navigation

Spencer's almost too good to be true. It was something you figured out on your first date. Everything about him was so endearing. Nothing has changed three months in. You wonder if it will, but as time goes on you're more and more reassured.

You're saying goodbye on the 22nd, both spending Christmas apart with your own families with the promise to spend New Year's with his friends. Part of you worries he will break up with you in the time between, and the more you overthink, the more certain you are that a breakup is coming.

So you're nervous when he texts to say he's coming over, touching up your makeup and hair pointlessly. He's there before you can weigh the pros and cons of telling him you're sick.

You swing the door open with an uneasy smile, letting him in, and he smiles happily at you while hanging up his coat and scarf and taking off his shoes.

"How are you?" He asks, stopping in front of you with his hands on your hips. Surely he can feel how right it is when you're together, like you do.

"Good." You nod, breathing out shallowly. "How are you?"

He leans down to kiss you softly before answering your question. "Good, now." He smiles. "I missed you."

That's reassuring for you to hear. After 36 hours, if he could still miss you, things were okay. "I missed you, too."

"How am I going to survive one week without you?" Spencer whines adorably while you pull him further into your apartment, closer to the gorgeous fireplace that everyone loves when they come over to your apartment.

There's hot chocolate on the coffee table in the living room, waiting for him, and it gives him the warm feeling inside of being home, even though it's not his apartment and it's not decorated for Christmas more than a few fairy lights.

"Thank you." He says gratefully, taking a seat on the couch when you do.

You relax into his arms, sipping your hot chocolate. "I'll call you every day." You promise. "I mean, that's how you'll survive a week without me."

"I hope that's a promise." He says, raising his eyebrows.

"A pinky promise." You assure him, holding out your pinky finger and locking it with his to affirm your promise.

You sit there for a while, chatting about your days and how much you're going to miss each other while you finish your hot chocolate. You're used to him being busy all the time, but you love getting his full attention during his limited time.

"Can I give you my gift now?" He asks shyly. "I'm excited to see if you like it."

"I will." You assure him because you're also scared he won't like what you've brought him. "Let me go get yours." You say, getting out of his lap even though you don't want to and retrieving the wrapped gift from your bedroom.

When you get back, he's waiting on the couch with a neatly wrapped box with a bow around it. You sit next to him, handing his one over. He waits for you to unwrap yours, and you do so with vigor. Whatever he picked, you know it's going to be perfect.

It's a bracelet... no, too big for a bracelet, it's an anklet. It's an anklet with the letter SWR hanging off it in gold. "Is it too conceited?" He asks. "Like, does it make me too vain or make you feel like a possession?"

"No." You shake your head, looking back at him. "No, Spencer. I love it. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." He says, much more relieved.

You tuck your foot up from the floor, placing the new jewelry around your anklet carefully. It's beautiful, and you love it already. You don’t feel like his possession. It makes you feel important to him, that he wants to give you his initials to wear permanently.

"Thank you." You say again, moving closer to kiss him again. His lips taste like hot chocolate, and it's addicting. You pull away, though, to hand him his gift. "Here."

He opens it, looking at the leather wallet with his initials monogrammed on it. "You remembered my old one was broken." He says in awe, like it's a revolutionary feat for someone to pay attention to him. You've grasped that people don't pay him enough attention, and you're making it your mission to always listen to him.

"Of course." You tell him. “And I also went for the monogrammed option.”

He laughs at the two of you thinking similarly. “I love it. Thank you so much." He says gratefully. You also guessed he doesn't get many gifts.

"There's a surprise in it, too." You tell him, smirking cheekily.

Spencer frowns at you, but he's smirking, too, as he opens it. There's a series of pictures inside of both of you. Some are sweet; photos of you two on dates, smiling and kissing, and some are a little more risque; you on your knees, some nice lingerie, and your tits.

"Wow." He hums, paying attention to all of them. "You're gorgeous, baby."

"Thanks." You reply, adding his sexual address. "Daddy." That gets his eyes widened, but before he can say something else, you speak again. "I have one more thing."

Shamelessly, he watches your ass as you leave. He waits impatiently for you to get back, only getting harder with each second passing. Wrapping yourself in wrapping paper is harder than you thought it would be, but you get it done with two narrow strips, one as a crop top and one as a short skirt.

You lean against the door frame once you walk in. "Me."

"Fuck." He groans, throwing his head back against the couch. "I'm officially the luckiest person ever."

You walk over slowly, standing between his legs. "Going to unwrap me then?"

"I'm going to do a lot more than that." He assures you, getting up. You stand slightly confused while he takes the couch cushions off and tosses them on the floor. He notices your expression and explains. "I'm going to fuck you in front of the fire."

You're not going to complain about that. "Please, daddy." You say softly.

He stands tall in front of you, hands holding your waist firmly. It's like he's torturing himself, waiting as long as he can until he needs to rip it off you.

You're completely naked in front of him, and it fills you with nothing but confidence. His hands roam over your curves, and you're desperate for more.

"I know, needy girl." He teases, leaning down until his lips as next to yours. The eye contact is so intense that it gets you wet. "Lay down and Daddy will give you what you want."

You quickly scramble onto the makeshift bed of pillows, cupping your tits to draw his attention to them, not that it could ever be anywhere else.

He kneels down between your legs, pressing his lips to yours. Unlike before, he deepens the kiss, tongue tangling with yours. When you roll your hips against his, he smirks before starting a trail of kisses down your neck. His hands drift to your tits, squeezing them softly while he sucks marks into your neck. They're going to be awkward to cover up, but the warm feeling in you is worth it.

"Daddy, feels so good." You moan, arching your back.

His fingertips descend down your stomach slowly to your pussy when his lips drop to your tits. It's two overwhelming sensations, even more so when he presses a finger through your slit, collecting the wetness.

His lips have your skin heating up as they attach your nipples, nipping at the skin in a painful but pleasure-filled way. You're breathless when he pushes the tip of his index winder into your wet hole, and he rejoices in the sounds coming from your mouth and your pussy.

"Want daddy to eat you out?" He offers, like how drenched you are isn't a telling sign.

"Please." You beg. "I've been so good."

He hums, smirking against your skin while he kisses you lower and makes you moan. You squirm when his lips touch your clit, and even though he drank hot chocolate, his mouth is cooler than your hot pussy.

"Tastes so perfect." He reports back to you.

"I need more, daddy." You request, unsure of if it's going to land you in trouble or not.

Spencer squeezes your thigh in warning, but he's a push-over, and he'll give you whatever you want, so he licks a fat strip across your clit, tasting all of your juice.

Your stomach tenses when his tongue slips into you, tracing around your heat. His finger joins in after that, slipping into you slightly more than the last time, and pressing at your walls.

"Always so tight." He tells you. "It's a miracle that I can fit inside you."

Spencer's usually 0 to 100 once he's been teasing you enough, and he plunges two fingers deep inside you with no warning. The stretch prepares you for his cock. His speed starts slow but deep, touching the right spot inside you each time.

You writhe closer to him, tightening your legs around him in your ongoing desperate search for more. He gives you what you want, fingers pumping in and out of you at an increasing speed.

It has your breath unstable and your pulse jumping erratically as you moan out his name and get closer to the edge. "Please, daddy, can I cum?" You beg, the build-up inside you getting overwhelming.

The hand not touching your pussy squeezing down your leg until he reaches the jewelry around your ankle, touching the anklet with his initials. He said it wasn't possessive, but he's eating you out with so much hunger that it's dominating.

"Go ahead, baby." He encourages you, making it impossible for you to avoid coming.

Your fingers flex on the blanket and your eyes roll back in your head while you tense at the peak of your climax. "Daddy, daddy, daddy." You babble as squeeze around his fingers tightly.

He keeps going, almost until you're overstimulated, lapping up all of your juice before finally pulling off. "So delicious."

You're still catching your breath as he rocks back up on his knees, forearms caging you in. "That was amazing." You compliment, dazed.

"Going to let me fuck you, princess?" He asks, pulling his sweatshirt off and taking his pants off.

"Can I ride you, daddy?" You offer as an alternative.

It's not something he's ever going to decline, and he leans in to kiss you. "Sure, baby."

Effortlessly, Spencer holds your hips as he flips you over, so you're on top of him. You glide your wet pussy over his cock, determined to tease him like he had been teasing you.

It gets his cock wet quickly, and his hands tighten on your hips. "Be good for me, baby." He says. His raised eyebrows are a warning for you not to continue.

You pump his cock up and down a few times, thumbing over the pre cum spilling out. He's not the only one getting antsy, and you sink down on top of him with moans coming from both of you.

"Fuck, it feels incredible being inside you." He compliments. His cock stretches you out, molding your walls around his length while the tip hits your g-spot and leaves you breathless.

You can't get out the words to tell him how good it feels, but he knows from your blissful expression. You keep your hands resting on his stomach, so you can stabilize yourself as you start bouncing on his dick slowly.

He lets you take your time as you adjust, but you're an overachiever and determined to reach another orgasm as quickly as you can. You move up and down on him, lifting your hips high enough to almost entirely get his cock out before slamming back down onto it.

It's the best you've ever had, and you're determined to make it as good for him. Spencer watches in awe as you moan on top of him. "Taking my cock so good, aren't you, baby?" He coos, hands traveling up your sides so he can squeeze your tits.

"Mhm." You whine out. "So big."

He nods, one of his hands snatching yours. "Feel it." He places your hands against your lower stomach where you can feel the tip of his cock against your skin. You pause for a moment and he grinds his hips up to accentuate the bulge.

"Fuck, that's hot." You agree, pulsing around him on reflex.

While you're off guard, he starts thumbing over your clit, pushing you closer to the edge. It makes your legs shaky as you quiver on top of him.

"Keep going." He tells you firmly. You follow his instructions, picking the pace back up as you fuck yourself on his cock.

"Daddy, so close." You moan, leaning forward to hold his shoulder. The change in position has his cock hitting a new angle in you.

He doubles his efforts in your clit, the pressure getting you at the edge in seconds. "Cum for me, baby." He tells you.

You finish a second before he spills inside you, both of you moaning simultaneously. You're so fucked out that you can't do anything but flop down onto his sweaty chest.

Spencer kisses the top of your head, pulling his cock out of you while he holds you close to him. You love having sex with him, but the time you spend with him afterward might be more special.

You lay there in silence for a moment, your arm slung around him, and his hand glides over your back soothingly.

"Are you going to be here next year?" You wonder, laying against his warm, slightly sticky chest, and not looking at him in case the answer isn't what you want it to be.

Spencer takes it too literally. "I hoped maybe we would be... living together, but that could be here, or my apartment, or somewhere else."

It's not what you were asking, but it's more than what you wanted to hear. "Really?" You ask.

He can see the smile on your face, so he answers honestly. "Yeah."

"I was actually asking if we were going to be together." You explain.

His hand pauses where it's running up and down your back. "Unless you want to be roommates." He jokes. You laugh until he places a hand under your chin, guides your eyes to look at him, and your breath stops. He always makes you breathless. "I really like you, Y/n." He tells you. "I want to be with you."

The glass is 95% full. He likes you, and it's the best feeling in the world, but there's something missing. You don't blame him for it: it takes different people different amounts of time to fall in love, but you're there.

Still, Spencer surprises you like he does every time that he has a chance. "I love you, Y/n."

You beam at him before rolling over so you're on top of his chest and can look at him as closely as you can get. "I love you too, Spencer."

"We'll be together next year." He reassures you. "And for as long afterward as you want us to be."

Now you're sure he's not too good to be true, and you're not going to get your heart broken.

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#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds family #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fandom

[shy-urban-hobbit]

49. Who hurt you? From the angst prompt list if you want to :3c

"Who hurt you?" - Lambden (of course 😁).

Lambert learns that some winters aren't as relaxing as others.

“Who hurt you?”

It was the first year they’d actually made plans to meet in the spring rather than just leaving it to chance when they’d run into each other and Lambert knew he’d failed to hide his surprise. Whilst he and his brothers always left the Keep looking and feeling well fed and well rested, Aiden looked very much the opposite. He should have only left the caravan behind three days ago and yet he looked the same as he had when they’d parted ways. Worse, even. Lambert would have just chalked it up to a bad winter until he noticed the bruises.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Those aren’t nothing Aiden, those are fucking finger marks! So I’ll ask again. Who hurt you?”

Aiden laughed. Actually laughed, “You’re sweet but it’s genuinely nothing. You know how it gets towards the end of winter.”

“No, I don’t.” Lambert had the sinking feeling they were reading from totally different books, nevermind from different pages.

“You know.” Aiden said as if he was trying to prompt a child, “Tensions are high, supplies are low...”

“So these are from your siblings?” Gods. How hard had they grabbed him if the marks were still there after at least three days?

Aiden blinked, his scent turning slightly impatient, “I’m starting to feel like whatever I say is going to be the wrong answer but, yes?” He rubbed at the bruises, suddenly self conscious under Lambert’s scrutiny, “Why are you so worked up about this anyway? It’s not like I haven’t had worse. I bet your brothers have left you with a few decent ones before now too.”

“Not outside of training and nothing like this.” He paused as he thought on what Aiden had said about supplies, letting his eyes move over his body and ignoring Aiden's suggestive smirk as he did, “Aiden, did you get these fighting over food?”

Aiden’s scent shifted to something close to shame, “Guxart rations it out but there’s always the dickheads who think they’re entitled to more than their share. You do what you have to.”

Lambert felt a wave of indignation and sympathy come over him. The winter months were supposed to be a break from fighting for survival. He was resting and enjoying all the perks Kaer Morhen had offer (however few they may be) and every year Aiden was probably worse of then he was on The Path.

“Don’t.” Aiden spat out, eyes turning flinty, “Don’t you dare fucking pity me. I know it’s fucked up, but it is what it is.”

“It shouldn’t be though!” Lambert spat, “You should be going back to somewhere that’s safe and instead, what, Guxart’s letting you beat the shit out of each other fighting over scraps?"

“It’s not his fault!” Aiden yelled, jabbing a finger in Lambert’s chest breathing hard through his nose, “You try looking out for upwards of twenty people when you’re constantly on the move. Good luck knowing exactly how many, it fluctuates every year, throughout the year. Barely staying in one place long enough to do any decent hunting, nowhere to properly store fresh shit where it won’t start turning after a couple of days. I know it’s not a patch on your Keep with your-your green houses and cellars and whatever the fuck else you have up there, but Dyn Marv is my home. And you don’t have the right to look down on it.”

He stormed past Lambert, muttering angrily under his breath and leaving the Wolf stood stunned in the middle of the road.

“Aiden.” He jogged after the other, who seemed determined to put as much distance between them as he could without breaking into a run, “Aiden, hold on a fucking second.”

“What?”

“You were right, I get it. As much as I hate Kaer Morhen...it might be a shit hole, but it’s my shit hole. I just-“

Aiden stopped, turning to look at him, “Just?”

“I worry about you.” Lambert muttered to his boots so quietly Aiden would have missed it if it weren’t for his Witcher hearing.

“Fucking softie.” Aiden teased lightly, leaning slightly and resting his forehead against Lambert’s shoulder, “I survived an entire childhood there, I can survive a few months out of the year. You really don’t need to worry.”

“I know I don’t. If you ever want a proper break though; Cat or no, Vesemir is too noble to toss someone out into the snow and to certain death. Plus, I just might behave myself if I have a friend to play with.”

The last part had the desired affect and Aiden smothered his laughter in Lambert’s armour, “I’ll definitely think about it.”

#the witcher #aiden/lambert #aiden x lambert #the witcher fanfiction #lambden #lambert/aiden #lambert x aiden #witcher aiden #witcher lambert #Lambert

[soudlenoop]

“What even happens in this AU of yours, Mr. Big Time Gambler?” Part 2.5

HYPERCHROME AU CHAPTER 2.5: SURGE’S TIME TO SHINE

Theme: https://youtu.be/mVurA44hwiw?si=yVqoFLEZIQ0AGezO (Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue)

Hey, look, check this out! I can count without going up a number! This is the first of the subchapters for Hyperchrome AU. These subchapters (which I’ve lovingly dubbed “point-fives”) typically focus on the corresponding main chapter’s events, but from a different character’s perspective. They can also take place before the events of the main story, and act as context to the actions of another character, or something. Speaking of something…

Chapter 2.5 takes place at the same time as Chapter 2, and focuses on the misadventures of Surge Laverock the Tenrec, who starts out as an average student (Yeah, kids actually do have school in this universe) living an average life in Starlight City, counting down the days until Winter Break… but then, PLOT happened! How did it happen, you ask? On a school trip to a power plant, Surge finds herself in a classic case of “wrong time, wrong place” when she gets a little too close to a generator that suddenly goes haywire, causing herself to get shocked at a dangerously high voltage.

Luckily, Surge survives, but she soon discovers that the accident granted her the power of electrokinesis! Inspired by the various comic book superheroes she read about, Surge decides to use this newfound ability to fight evil! Unfortunately, uhh… well, it’s not as easy as it looks.

The rest of the chapter consists of Surge slowly getting accustomed to her status as a hero. Along the way, she meets many new faces, while simultaneously getting into WACKY SHENANIGANS!!!

What kind of new faces? Well at one point, Surge meets Kitsuna Keller the Fennec, after saving him from getting the crap beaten out of him or something, I don’t know. They become very good friends, ok? I’m very tired of writing this.

Surge also has Amy Rose, her friend that she has in school, which she DOES go to. She likes Sonic a lot. Like a whole lot… Like, seriously, she’d do anything for Sonic… yeah.

But also, we got villains. 3 of them, in fact. At some point, Surge attracts the attention of infamous crime boss, Clutch Carnby the Opossum, after her heroic feats are recognized by the mainstream. Clutch, feeling the stress of GUN’s recent appearance in South Island, fears the possibility of what is essentially a second Sonic, and hires 2 mercenaries to take Surge out.

Who are these 2 mercenaries? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you. The first one is Mimic the Shapeshifter, an Octopus who can take the form of virtually anybody. He’s weirdly secretive about his past, but that doesn’t matter, he’s still pretty good at what he does.

The second one is Nicole Stilgram the Weasel. Why, yes, she IS the sister of Nack Stilgram the Weasel, the guy I mentioned in the Chapter 2 description! Don’t be confused, though, they’re very different. See, while Nack is a GUN soldier in this AU, Nicole acts more accordingly to how Nack acts in the actual games.

Basically, these 3 miscreants give Surge a whole heap of trouble, and eventually, they actually seem to have her cornered in an alleyway, but an oddly lucky slip-up by Mimic gives Surge the chance to escape! Naturally, Clutch and Nicole begin to give chase, before being suddenly stopped… by Mimic?!

Immediately, a gaggle of GUN soldiers appear from every angle, weapons all pointed at Clutch and Nicole, but not Mimic or Surge. Hey, wait a sec! That Octopus is no miscreant! I don’t even think he’s a mercenary! Mimic’s shapeshifting-form-thing that I should explain slowly dissolves, revealing a GUN uniform! …If you haven’t caught on yet, the big twist is that Mimic is a spy from GUN. Bet you didn’t see that coming, and yes, I DID foreshadow it in the Chapter 2 description. You can call him… Private Mimic Nisemono. Wh-… No, “Private” isn’t part of his name, that’s just his rank in GUN.

So, the group of GUN soldiers arrest Clutch, but unfortunately, Nicole escapes. Before leaving, Mimic apologizes to Surge for any confusion, and then goes off to do… y’know, GUN stuff.

A little while later, Clutch is broken out of prison, with the help of Nicole… who promptly shoots Clutch in the back, killing him! Now, NICOLE is the infamous crime boss! Or something like that, I don’t know, I’ve been writing this for too long.

I’m gonna be honest with everybody, I had a real hard time writing this. I guess I just lost motivation a bit there, but hopefully, I can find it again for Chapter 3! See you next time!

#my art #sonic the hedgehog #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog au #hyperchrome au #surge the tenrec #alternate universe #kitsunami the fennec #amy rose #mimic the octopus #clutch the opossum #nicolette the weasel #hyperchrome!surge #hyperchrome!amy #hyperchrome!mimic #hyperchrome!clutch #hyperchrome!kit #hyperchrome!nicolette #HOLY SHIT MIMIC ISN’T EVIL IN THIS ONE #fanart

[moth-based-cryptology]

Ralbert, Sadness

7) “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I feel like I can’t even breathe without you!”

sorry i do not remember what list this is from that’s my bad

jac !! my love !! i kinda lied when i messaged you about this cause it did not stay nearly as sad as i meant it to but it was fun and i regret nothing !! thank u sm for this even if it took me forever to reply to <33

i don’t think there’s any TWs for this one, i just imply they have an argument of some kind before the start

without further ado, ✨them✨

-

The dead silence is heavy.

The cold of the bathroom door digs into his back, hard and unrelenting, spine curved awkwardly against the wood from when he slammed it and promptly slunk to the floor, desperately trying to ebb the flow of tears down his cheeks. He can almost see Albert, still frozen in the kitchen of their apartment, suddenly deflated where he was puffed up with anger a moment before. The drop of his head, the red rimmed eyes full of tears that he’ll grit his teeth against. They don’t fight very much, rarely have it in them. But when they do, the Earth shifts with it, rocking rough and dark to its core.

Race doesn’t even remember how it started. They bicker endlessly, a chess match of wit and bark with no bite, a torrent of flirting that comes out snarky, but this wasn’t funny. He goes back to school on Friday, the last semesters before he finally returns to the city of endless motion. It’s been eating him alive, the idea of going back after a winter break that gave him everything he misses when he’s out on the sunny coast of California.

Two more semesters until he’s back in Albert’s little apartment, happy and content. At least… that’s what he expects. Based on their current showing, he’s never been less sure.

If he had to guess, he started it. Albert couldn’t bother him on his own if he wanted to, regardless of how hard he tries, but Race has the unfortunate habit of refusing to admit something else is bothering him. Then, suddenly, unpredictably, he’s fighting with his boyfriend about dinner, and then how much homework he’s still got left to do. And Albert does his best, he really does, but he’s snappy when he’s hungry.

Race really doesn’t know why he’s crying, but he is, and it just won’t stop.

The footsteps aren’t loud, but Race could pick them out in a crowded hall, let alone the crushing quiet. He hadn’t turned the lock on the door, but the door handle doesn’t even rattle, there’s just the rustle of someone sitting on the floor outside of the door. They both know that Race knows he’s there, he always does.

His heart stops trying to shatter through his diaphragm when he twists up onto his knees and opens the door a crack. Albert’s smooth expression cracks at his face, scrunched up and ruddy with traitorous tears, but he barely lets him look before slinking into his arms and hiding his face in his neck.

“‘M sorry I shouted at you. Wasn’t fair,” Albert’s terrible at hiding the chopped up accent when he’s emotional. All his effort goes into sounding soft and sweet instead. “You’ve been stressin’ over whatever’s in that head of yours and I let it bug me.”

“My fault.” It’s barely a murmur, muffled in all the fabric and emotion, words he can feel being protested, but he hates that Albert still lets everything be his fault even when it isn’t.

His tan face has gone blotchy with muddled red, and he sounds like a little kid with a cold, but he lifts his head, letting himself sink into the hold Albert’s got on him so he can see the face he’s got memorized down to the last of the millions of freckles smattered across his nose. There’s a shaky breath, a long moment where all he does is sit, stare, and breathe before he can make himself speak. “I.. Caltech is a crazy experience. I couldn’t have said no when I got that letter on principle, even if I wanted to. But there’s so little there for me, not when you’re here. And it’s two more semesters, I’ll survive, but it’s been crushing me since I left in August.”

“I’m right here waiting for you to come back the entire time you’re gone, you know that?” The arms around his shoulders squeeze tighter, and he squeezes right back around Albert’s middle.

“I know, I promise I know, I just- I.. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I feel like I can’t even breathe without you!” Race brings a hand up to his cheek, pressing their foreheads together, like he can physically force the clinical cold he feels in the objective warm, welcoming brightness of sunny Pasadena, California, into Albert’s mind through pure will.

“I hear you, I got you, okay?” His callused, warm hand covers Race’s wrist, thumb moving back and forth over the skin. “I’m right there with you, darlin’, like you wouldn’t believe. I miss you somethin’ fierce when you’re gone.”

Despite himself, he can’t help the little laugh at Albert, the halting exasperation at his own southern-ness, even in a serious moment. There’s a long pause, not crushing or uncomfortable or heavy, where he just sits against Albert on the floor and listens to his lungs fill and empty, over and over and over again.

“..You’re supposed to visit your mama upstate over spring break, right?” He hums his assent, eyes roving over his face to try and pick out what he’s getting at. “Have you scheduled your flight yet?”

“No, I was gonna do it on the phone with Jack tomorrow so he can pick me up from the airport once he’s driven up there.” Race’s brow scrunches together, still not seeing what’s making Albert’s eyes light up like that.

“How about I pick you up from JFK and I drive us upstate instead? Unless Miss Medda has some anti-boyfriend policy?” Medda loves him better than any of her own sons and he damn well knows it.

“Really?” Much happier tears well in Race’s eyes now, weepy as he is at the moment. “You’d suffer through two weeks of Jack and Charlie’s shit for me?”

“Might as well, Toni, I get plenty of it texting you when you’re in California, anyway.” Race’s laugh is bright, making Albert’s whole system warm in an instant, glad to have that sunny smile back after days of looming gloom.

“What about your aunts?” He did the several-day-Georgia-road-trip with Albert and his aunts last July, and it was a fun kind of chaotic. This year, the trip is supposed to be in April instead. “Don’t they want you to go south with them?”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll be glad to have a few days to themselves before they get to grandmama’s. I only played nice on that road trip ‘cause I had someone to impress.” Race would’ve been able to pick out his grin from the sound of his voice alone. “I’m usually much more insufferable.”

He rolls his eyes affectionately, chest full to bursting. “I’ll believe that when I see it.. Thank you.”

Albert hums lightly, and Race can feel it rumble in both of their chests. “I love you, darlin’.”

Race pecks his lips shortly once, then again, and again. “And I love you, even if you yell at me.” He puts petulant anger in his emphasis, like a stompy toddler pouting about a toy.

“I did not yell, drama queen–” He doesn’t want to hear it, so he slaps a hand over Albert’s mouth, having the audacity to act shocked when he rips it away a moment later wet with saliva. Fingers dig in under Race’s ribs, making him squawk and squirm away, their eloquent chess match beginning anew, plans aflame and roiling with light.

-

fín

#newsies #livesies #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #ralbert #jac my beloved #mwah. love of my life #i’m your local jac stan #spam ralbert gang #the butterfly boys <3 #college au #kinda #writing prompt #sad writing #blurb #not even a little it’s much longer than a blurb #this will probably get posted to ao3 at some point #but i don’t feel like doin all that rn as i’m queuing this #cause it’s 4am #the boys !! i missed them #never not read the tags #chandler the ralbert cult leader #ta da !

[klaineficroulettechallenge-us]

Chapter 6 By HKVoyage (VoyageAsia)

Friday, March 23, 2012 (three weeks later)

At the end of Glee Club, Rachel sashayed to the front with her chin held high. “To celebrate the beginning of Spring Break, I’m having a party next Friday night. My fathers will be in Miami, so we’ll have the house to ourselves. Everyone is invited, and you can spend the night if you want.”

Kurt glanced at Puck, who was smirking with two thumbs up, a signal that he’d be supplying the booze. Kurt internally groaned. He knew all about Rachel’s parties when her fathers were away. Last year, he’d attended her trainwreck extravaganza. He thought about how Rachel and Blaine had made out and the awkward conversation with his father the following day when he had discovered Blaine in his bed. It couldn’t get worse than that. At least, he hoped.

Mr. Shue waved his hand to grab everyone’s attention. “Just a reminder that Glee Club is still on during Spring Break. We need to rehearse if we want to have a shot at winning Nationals. Have a good weekend.”

Kurt put on his winter coat and scarf and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder. It might be mid-March with warm days, but once the sun set, it was cold. When he saw Blaine’s hand reaching out to him, Kurt instantly held it, tangling their fingers together. Kurt could feel a warmth spread through his body. Holding hands was such a simple act, but it was by far his favorite part of being Blaine’s fake boyfriend. It was an intimate connection to Blaine, and it made him feel like they belonged together. If only.

They headed to the parking lot, and Blaine's car lights flickered when he pressed the fob. Blaine dashed to the front passenger side to open the door for him. Kurt loved all the little things Blaine did to make him feel special, and sometimes, it was hard to remember that Blaine wasn’t really his boyfriend.

Once they were on their way, Kurt remarked, “Since winning Regionals last month, Mr. Shue has been crazy with all the rehearsals. Honestly, I wonder why we bother. Usually, the song list isn’t set until the night before.”

“I don’t mind. We’ve got a real shot at winning this year,” Blaine replied.

Kurt paused before broaching the subject that was really on his mind. “I’m not sure what to think about Rachel’s party.”

“It’ll be a good way to unwind from all the extra Glee practices. I thought you liked parties?”

“Last year’s party was a drunk fest. I felt so awkward the entire time.”

“Maybe this year will be different. I'll be there as your boyfriend.”

Yes, a lot of things were different from last year. Kurt was still in love with Blaine, but at least this time, people thought they were boyfriends. He really hoped that Blaine wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Blaine remarked.

Kurt arched an eyebrow. “So, you can read my mind now?”

“Pretty much,” Blaine smirked. He raised one hand. “I promise I won’t drink anything from a red solo cup that Puck gives to me.” He winked at Kurt. “After all, I have to be in top form for our kissing.”

Kurt froze. “Kissing?”

“How much do you wanna bet that Santana will suggest playing spin the bottle so that she can watch us making out?”

Kurt closed his eyes. Santana was definitely conniving enough to find a way for them to make out at the party in front of everyone. How was he ever going to survive making out with Blaine? He’d have to figure how to make out with Blaine without letting on how into it he was. 

Before Kurt could respond to his quip about the kissing, Blaine changed the subject. “We should also sing together during karaoke. Can I surprise you with the song? I’ll make sure it’s one you know the lyrics to.”

“As long as it isn’t ‘Candles’ or another breakup song. People would get suspicious.” Thinking about breakups reminded him of something he had been meaning to ask Blaine. “Has Sebastian texted you recently?”

Blaine shook his head. “After I told my mother about the texts, I think my dad called Sebastian’s father. I haven't heard anything from Sebastian since.” 

Kurt was skeptical that Sebastian had magically disappeared, but he wasn’t going to worry Blaine about it.

“How about Dave? What’s new with him?” Blaine asked.

Kurt groaned. “I’m really fed up with him. Dave texts me every night. Sometimes, I feel him near me when I can’t see him.”

When they stopped at a traffic light, Blaine glanced over with concern in his eyes. “Is this something I should worry about? I will kick his ass if he did anything—and I mean anything—to make you feel uncomfortable. I’ve started boxing again.” 

A smile crept across Kurt’s face. Whilst he wasn’t a damsel in distress that needed defending, he loved this protective side of Blaine that he didn’t see very often. “No. I can handle Dave, but I’ll let you know if there is a problem. I think everything would be so much easier if Dave had a boyfriend. Wouldn’t it be great if Sebastian and Dave got together? It would be killing two birds with one stone.”

Blaine shook his head. “That’s not happening. They’ve already bumped into each other at Scandals. Sebastian calls Dave ‘hamhock’. He’s not into bears.”

Kurt gazed out the window with a wistful half-smile. “A guy can dream. I’m going to ask Rachel if Dave can come to her party. I really want Dave to have more friends. It would take the pressure off me, ya know?” 

“Good idea. I wish there were more gay guys out of the closet at school.” Blaine turned the car into the Hummel driveway.

“Are you still seeing Jeff and Nick tonight?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah. You sure you don’t want to come along? They’d love to see you again.”

Kurt shook his head. “No. I can’t. You know how important Friday night dinners are to my dad.”

Kurt released the seatbelt and turned to face Blaine. “You don’t need to keep driving me every day. It’s been a month since the car accident, and I feel okay about driving.”

“I really don’t mind. I like picking you up and grabbing a cup of coffee before classes, walking into school hand-in-hand, talking about the day on the way home.”

Kurt sighed. “I guess it’s something a good boyfriend would do.”

Blaine covered Kurt’s hand and rubbed little circles on it. “It’s something a best friend would do. I really care about you.”

Kurt was surprised by the emotion in Blaine’s voice, and Kurt wondered what caring exactly meant to Blaine. 

“I still have nightmares about you stuck in the snowstorm late at night on your own,” Blaine admitted.

Kurt couldn’t help but notice that Blaine’s protective nature was showing again. He flipped his hand so it was covering Blaine’s palm. “I wasn’t out there for too long. My dad called his friend at the police station, and they both arrived lickety-split. Besides, my emergency winter car kit came in handy.” Kurt noticed the living room curtains ruffling, a sure sign that his father had been watching. “I’d better go inside before my dad comes out.” 

Kurt got out of the car. 

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Blaine asked with a hopeful voice.

“Yeah. Give me a call when you wake up. After you’ve tried on the Prom outfit, let’s go to the mall. We can check out shoes that might work with it.” 

Kurt waved goodbye before dashing into his house. When Blaine was rubbing his hand and looking at him like he lit the stars, Kurt had been so close to throwing himself into Blaine’s arms and declaring his undying love. He really had to get his feelings under control before the kissing at Rachel’s party.

—*—

When the doorbell rang, Blaine rushed to let his friends in.

“Pizza delivery for Blaine Warbler!” Nick and Jeff shouted.

Blaine grabbed some soda and napkins from the kitchen before they headed down to the basement rec room. He selected a playlist on his phone and put it on the stereo’s docking station, and P!nk began to play through the speakers. He joined Nick and Jeff on the couch and opened the lids of the pizza boxes. While he desperately wanted to eat the pepperoni pizza, he settled for a slice of margherita. He still wondered how he was going to squeeze his ass into the Prom-night trousers. Even Kurt’s exceptional sewing skills couldn’t produce miracles.

While they were eating, Nick and Jeff updated Blaine on people at Dalton. Wes was early accepted into Yale’s pre-med program. David broke up with his girlfriend. Thad got blue braces to match his uniform. Trent was on a diet and had already lost ten pounds.

“What about Sebastian?” Blaine asked.

Nick shrugged. “He’s been keeping to himself. After Warblers practice, he dashes off. I asked him why he doesn’t hang out with us anymore, but he said he’s been busy.”

“Personally, I think he’s up to something,” Jeff interjected.

“Or hooking up with college frat guys,” Nick joked.

Blaine thought that Jeff was right, and if Sebastian was up to something, it certainly wouldn’t be good.

After chugging the rest of his soda, Nick let out a loud burp.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “You’re such a boy.”

“I thought that was exactly why you liked me,” Nick teased. He leaned toward his boyfriend and kissed him like their lives depended on it. Jeff fisted Nick’s shirt, causing it to pull out from his trousers. 

“Guys, I’m here,” Blaine reminded them.

Jeff pulled away, and the pair focused on getting their breathing back to normal.

“God, I wish I could kiss Kurt like that.”

“It takes a lot of practice,” Jeff teased.

“I’m all up for practicing. I just can’t get out of the friend zone with Kurt.”

“I thought you were carrying out our Operation Woo Kurt,” Jeff remarked.

Blaine rubbed his forehead. “I’ve done everything in our plan. I drive him to school every day. I compliment Kurt on his outfits...” 

Blaine paused, thinking about what Kurt was wearing that day; the skinny jeans had looked like they had been painted on. His Doc Martens had given off a rebellious vibe, but the look had been softened by an Alexander McQueen scarf. Kurt definitely knew how to pull an outfit together. He could feel his cock stir at the very thought of it.

“Stop thinking about Kurt’s tight-ass jeans,” Jeff snarked.

Blaine blushed at being caught out. He cleared his throat, and after discreetly making sure he didn’t have a boner, he continued, “We hold hands in the hallways and cafeteria. I serenaded him in the school courtyard. I bought him flowers for Valentine’s Day. I even bought a jar of this really expensive night cream that Kurt was having problems finding. I’ve done everything I can think of to make him feel special and pampered. We’ve been on dates, but when I drive him home, it’s like Kurt is in a desperate rush to go inside.”

“Maybe we’ve got Kurt all wrong,” Nick said.

“What do you mean by that?” Blaine asked.

“We know Kurt loves romance, but maybe he’s attracted to a different sort of look. What was Alex like?”

Blaine shrugged. “I didn’t really hang out with Kurt and Alex. It didn’t seem to me that Alex was into Kurt that much. Alex wouldn’t even go to Junior Prom with him. He’s away at college, and Kurt never hears from him.”

“I meant what does Alex look like?” Nick replied. 

“He’s super tall with long, blond, straight hair. He was on the football team so pretty beefy. He wore jeans, band t-shirts, and his red jacket.” Blaine hit his forehead. “Alex is everything I’m not.” 

“I’m not saying that you have to look like Alex, but maybe you should shake up your style a bit. Lose the hair gel and the bow ties. Stop looking like Kurt’s grandpa.”

Jeff jumped up in excitement. “I think you're on to something, Nicky. Blaine has already proven to Kurt that he’s a gentleman. Now, it’s time to show Kurt that he also can be dirty-hot.”

Blaine shook his head. “Nope. Not happening. I’m not changing who I am. Not even for Kurt.”

Jeff walked over to Blaine and rubbed his shoulder. “Honey, we don’t want you to change who you are. You’re Kurt’s best friend because he likes the real Blaine Anderson. All we’re suggesting is that, in order to move things to the next level, you should try looking less like Gene Kelly and more like James Dean.”

Nick fanned his face. “Ooh, James Dean. Man, there was just something special about him. He was effortlessly cool.”

Blaine chewed on his bottom lip. Nick and Jeff might be right. When he and Kurt had sleepovers and watched movies late at night, Kurt loved playing with his curls. So, maybe he should stop using hair gel on the weekends. While Kurt always complimented Blaine’s outfits, he never showed signs that he found Blaine sexy. Maybe he should dress in a way that would make Kurt see him in a different light. But could he do it? “Guys, I don’t know. I’m not sure I could pull it off.” 

Jeff placed his hands on his hips. “Blaine Anderson! You can knock the bobbysocks off of girls, and you have half the gay guys at Dalton drooling over you. Your confidence is one of your biggest assets.”

“Well, that and your ass,” Nick joked. 

Blaine blushed and laughed. There were a lot of good things about being friends with other gay guys. “Rachel Berry is having a party next Friday. I suppose I could try out a new look then.”

“Perfect!” Jeff exclaimed. “Let’s go to your room and figure out what you’ll wear.”

They gathered the empty pizza boxes and soda cans to drop off in the kitchen on the way to Blaine’s bedroom. After Blaine tried on countless shirts, they agreed that a simple white T-shirt showed off Blaine’s biceps perfectly. However, they couldn’t agree on the trousers. 

“Jeff, you know the jeans you have with the rips around the thighs and knees?” Nick asked.

“You mean the ones that have you squeezing my ass like a man possessed?”

Nick’s eyes darkened. “Yep. Those ones. Do you think they would fit Blaine?”

Jeff looked Blaine over. “They’ll be too long, but Blaine can always cuff them. They might be a bit tight around the ass, but I would bet a hundred bucks that Kurt is an ass guy.”

“What about my hair? You've never seen my hair without gel. It's like baby-thin fine. I'm going to look like Medusa!”

Nick patted Blaine’s shoulder. “We’ve got your back. If you come to my house to get ready for the party, I’ll get my sister to do your hair. Maria is really good at things like that.”

“Would you guys come with me to the party? It would really boost my confidence.”

“Wouldn’t Rachel mind?”

Blaine snorted. “You can sing. She would love to have other people to sing duets with. I’ll clear it with her first.”

“Sure, Blaine. We’ll go. Anything to put you out of your misery and get you two lovebirds together,” Nick said.

Blaine got another idea…an extraordinarily good idea. “Why don’t we ask some of the other Warblers to come, too? Dave Karofsky will be there, and there might be someone he likes.”

Jeff grabbed the Dalton yearbook off of Blaine’s shelf and opened it to the Warblers’ page. He pointed to a smiling face. “Is this who you are thinking of?”

Blaine gave Jeff a fist bump. “OH, YEAH!”

—*—

Kurt was startled when he heard books dropped on his table at the school library. He looked up to see Santana had sat down next to him. What was she doing here? She was usually making out with Brittany under the bleachers during their free period.

“It’s really quite pathetic that you haven’t had sex yet with Blanderson.”

Kurt looked around, grateful that no one else was around. “How do you know we haven’t had sex?”

“Puh-lease. Give me a little credit. I know all the signs.” Santana began to count with her fingers. “One, you don’t smell like sex. Two, neither you nor Blaine have dopey smiles like you’re fucked senseless. Three, if you were having sex, you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other. All you do is some hand-holding and chaste cheek kisses. Four…”

“Santana, stop! Okay! Okay! We haven’t had sex yet. Is that what you wanted to hear me say?”

Thank god Santana didn’t know that they had only had a brief kiss on Valentine’s Day. Kurt wondered if she could smell that, too.

“What’s stopping you?” Santana asked with concern in her voice.

Kurt started to rip a blank sheet of paper into little pieces. “I don’t know. I’m not sure that Blaine thinks I’m sexy. Last year, he told me that my sexy faces looked like I was having gas pains.”

Santana shook her head whilst looking up. “ Dios mío . A lot can change in a year. I’ve seen the way Blaine looks at you during dance practice at Glee Club. He definitely wants to play hide the sausage.”

Kurt arched an eyebrow. “And why do you assume that Blaine would be the top?”

“Oh, I think that Blaine would be pretty versatile, if you know what I mean,” Santana sassed back with a wink.

Kurt blushed because he hadn’t even thought of possible sexual positions before. “I really don’t think our sex life is any of your business.”

Santana leaned in closer. “Blaine has already had sex with that Fievel with a wannabe Disney prince haircut, and…”

“Blaine told you that?”

Santana nodded. “A guy like Blaine has needs. If you don’t satisfy them, he’ll find someone who will.”

“I don’t think Blaine is like that.”

“Get real, Kurt. Every guy in high school is like that. And let’s face it. Blaine is attractive. An alpha gay. With a snap of his fingers, he could easily find hook-ups. I’m sure there are tons of guys at gay Hogwarts who would have sex with Blaine.”

Kurt continued to shred the paper. He knew that there were loads of guys at Dalton who would love to hook up with Blaine. He had heard plenty talk about it in the Dalton communal showers. He then decided to change tactics with Santana. “We haven’t really had any private time since we started dating.”

“Rachel’s party will be a perfect chance to kick things up a notch. Are you two sleeping over?” After Kurt nodded, Santana continued, “After the party games and you’ve played tonsil hockey, you and Blaine go claim Rachel’s fathers’ room. I bet they have all kinds of kinky stuff in their drawers.”

Kurt shook his head in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the bell, signaling the end of the period. Santana stood up and grabbed her books. “I gotta find Brit-Brit. We have math together next period. If you want, we can come over to your place with a few bananas for a practical demonstration.”

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Kurt hissed.

Kurt shoved his textbooks and notepads into his messenger bag. Even though that had been a really awkward conversation, Santana might be right. Blaine had already had sex with Sebastian. Blaine had asked Rachel if some of the Warblers could attend her party. Why? Was there a new Warbler that Kurt didn’t know about?

The truth was that sex had been on Kurt’s mind, too. He couldn’t count the number of boners he’d had thinking about Blaine. He was also having wet dreams starring Blaine. But what was he to do? As much as he would like to do things with Blaine, it didn’t feel right if they were in a fake relationship. He should matter. His firsts should matter. 

Blaine was also right about one thing. They would have to make out at Rachel’s party.

Later that day, when Blaine was driving him home, Kurt looked out the window, deep in thought. He couldn’t believe that Blaine had spoken to Santana about their sex life. Was Blaine really that sexually frustrated? What exactly were Blaine’s expectations at Rachel’s party? Blaine had already made it clear that they would be making out. Would Blaine want more? 

Blaine waved his hand in front of Kurt’s face. “Earth to Kurt. We’re already at your house.”

Kurt looked at Blaine. “Sorry. I was a million miles away.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Santana hunted me down this afternoon at the library. We had a really awkward conversation.”

Blaine softly chuckled. “Let me guess. She wanted to know about our sex life. She already interrogated me about it on Valentine’s Day. That girl has no boundaries.”

“She definitely doesn’t. But she did mention a few things for me to think about. I’m a bit nervous about Rachel’s party.”

Blaine held his hand, and suddenly, Kurt felt safe and grounded.

“I noticed that you weren’t that keen when I mentioned kissing. We don’t have to. I just thought it would be something real boyfriends would do at a party.”

“I wasn’t thinking about the kissing, although I’m nervous about that, too. If I want to be an actor, I’ll need to learn how to deal with it. Making out with you will be just like any other role.”

Kurt watched Blaine sag with a disappointed expression. He couldn’t tell Blaine that his real concern was that, once they started, he would never want to stop. “Kissing you won’t be that bad. You’re my best friend. I just hope that it doesn’t change things between us.”

Kurt was surprised when Blaine dropped his head and closed his eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”

Blaine shook his head. “No. It’s just… I never thought I would kiss a guy who doesn’t want to.”

Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand. “I want to kiss you, but I don’t want things to be weird between us later.”

After a beat, Blaine cleared his throat. “The whole pretend boyfriend thing is weird, but we’re doing fine. If it’s not the kissing, what’s making you nervous about the party?”

“Santana hinted that you would want more from me, especially because you have already had sex. After thinking about it, I agree with her.”

Blaine’s mouth dropped open. “Are you suggesting a friends-with-benefits thing?” 

Kurt lightly slapped Blaine’s shoulder with his free hand. “No, of course not. But Santana had a point. You have needs that I’m not meeting.”

“That’s why they invented masturbation,” Blaine blurted.

Kurt’s entire body heated at the thought, and his face felt like it was on fire. He didn’t need the image of Blaine masturbating in his wank bank when he was having so many wet dreams already.

“Kurt, look at me.”

Kurt looked up to see Blaine with a serious expression. “I’m not some neanderthal who has to act on my physical instincts. After Sebastian, I realized that I deserve romance. I deserve someone who cherishes me as much as I cherish them. I wish I had never given him some of my firsts.”

When Blaine’s chin began quivering, Kurt released his seat belt and pulled Blaine into a hug. Kurt instantly felt Blaine’s body relax against him. Kurt hoped that he was giving Blaine the comfort he needed. When he heard knocking on the car window, Kurt looked up to see his father with a sour expression. Kurt rolled down the window.

“Hey, guys. It’s time to wrap things up.”

“I’ll just be a few minutes,” Kurt replied.

Burt looked at his watch. “I’m timing you.”

When Burt left, Kurt asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. That hug really helped.”

Kurt used a finger to lift Blaine’s chin. He stared at Blaine’s pink, plump lips, looking luscious and ready for the picking. Without giving it a second thought, Kurt cupped Blaine’s face and slowly leaned in, pressing his lips against Blaine’s. Instead of a quick kiss like last month, Kurt took his time. When he felt Blaine’s hand at the back of his neck, he realized that Blaine was into it, too. As their lips moved slowly together, Kurt felt butterflies flutter in his stomach. There were no fireworks but more of a tingling, warm sensation. Like a meaningful connection between two guys who were meant for each other.

Kurt slowly pulled away to look at Blaine with Bambi eyes. “Blaine Anderson, I will always cherish you.”

Blaine looked down but Kurt could still see he was grinning like an idiot. “I’ll always cherish you, too.” 

Conscious of the time, Kurt picked up his messenger bag. “Skype after dinner?”

“Can we make it a little later? I’m stopping at the mall on the way home.”

“Shopping without moi ?” Kurt asked playfully.

“When Nick and Jeff were over, we planned my outfit for the party. Jeff is letting me borrow a pair of trousers, but I’m worried that they won’t fit me. I want to buy my own pair.”

“I’m intrigued. A party is as good an excuse as any for new clothes. Skype me when you’re ready.”

Kurt got out of the car and quickly headed to the house, knowing that his dad wasn’t joking when he said he was timing him. Fortunately, his father wasn’t hovering near the door, and Kurt managed to get to his bedroom without interference.

He set down his messenger bag and flopped onto his bed. He couldn’t believe that he had now kissed Blaine twice. He mentally went through each moment of the kiss and how it made him feel. If that was how Blaine kissed his best friend, what would it be like if Blaine had real feelings for him? And how could Blaine not know how he felt about him? 

Kurt spent some time rehashing his conversation with Blaine. One thing that stuck out in his mind was when Blaine said he deserved romance. Kurt had been so caught up in Blaine’s romantic gestures that he hadn’t given a second thought about how he should romance Blaine. Well, he was definitely going to rectify this, starting tomorrow. He was going to show Blaine that he could be the best boyfriend in the world.

His dad knocked on the door before opening it. “Dinner will be in ten minutes. Afterwards, I’d like to speak to you.”

Kurt nodded, and his father left the room. He suspected that his dad might want to talk after seeing him hug Blaine in the car. He only hoped it wouldn’t involve pamphlets.

—*—

Friday, March 30, the night of Rachel’s party

“Twirl around for us,” Nick instructed.

Blaine was glad that he decided to buy his own trousers this week because they fit him perfectly. He never liked leaving things to chance, and it made him feel more in control of how he looked. It was probably the only part of tonight that he could actually control.

Jeff pinched Blaine’s ass. “Excellent choice, B. The ripped jeans fit you like a second skin. Kurt is going to flip when he sees a peak of your thighs.”

“But what about my hair? It looks awful.”

“Maria is waiting for you in her room. We’ll head downstairs and wait for the other Warblers.”

Blaine entered Maria’s room, hoping she was a miracle worker. 

“Hey, Blaine. Come have a seat. I see I’ve got my work cut out for me.” 

Blaine slumped in the chair. He hadn’t thought that Maria was up for the job of taming his baby-fine, frizzy hair. “I’ve got my hair gel in my bag. Do you want me to get it?”

Maria laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding, right? I can’t wait to give you a new look. I checked out YouTube tutorials and bought all the right hair products. Just sit back and relax. This is going to take a while.”

Blaine was touched that Maria had done her homework. He was also grateful that he wasn’t in front of a mirror to see what she was doing. He recounted the past few days. Things between him and Kurt had changed since they kissed in the car. Blaine pressed a finger to his lips. That kiss! He had never experienced anything so special. It was sweet and laced with emotions he wasn’t quite prepared for. And when Kurt told him that he was cherished, it was all he could do to stop from squealing out loud.

“I can tell you’re thinking about him, B,” Maria said.

“Was it that obvious?”

Maria giggled. “You had the dreamiest look. Kurt must be a special guy.”

Blaine nodded. “He’s one of a kind.”

“Stop moving your head. It’s making it harder for me.”

Blaine sat as still as he could. Yes, things had definitely changed after that amazing kiss. Kurt had been more attentive with loads more affectionate hugs and little touches. Every day after lunch, Blaine found a sweet note and a little present in his school locker. Kurt sang “Perfect” at Glee Club, looking at him with heart eyes. Kurt had been so amazing and thoughtful; it was getting hard to distinguish between what was an act and what was real. The boundaries were getting more blurred every day. Maybe he should relax and enjoy it while he could.

Maria tugged at Blaine’s arm. “I’m finished. Let’s go to the bathroom so you can see for yourself.”

Blaine followed her to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t believe how good he looked. Maria had managed to tame his curls so that they had definition but looked soft and loose. 

“Do you like it?” Maria asked with a wobbly voice.

He turned and pulled her into an embrace. “Like it? I love it! You’ve got to show me how you did it.”

Maria looked visibly relieved. “Sure, Blaine. There is something else I think might look good…”

“Spit it out. After seeing what you’ve done to my hair, I’m open to anything.”

Maria turned Blaine’s face to the mirror. “Your outfit looks great but simple. You need something extra special to make sure that Kurt can’t take his eyes off of you.”

“What are you thinking?”

Maria took a deep breath. “Eyeliner to make your eyes pop.”

“What?!” Blaine exclaimed.

“Now, hear me out. Lots of famous guys wear eyeliner, like Adam Lambert, Johnny Depp, and Prince. Even Elvis Presley wore it. Your eyes are one of your best features. It’s the sort of edginess that will make you look hot. If you don’t like it, I can always remove it.”

Blaine had to admit that those guys did look hot, and Kurt once mentioned that the best part of The Pirates of the Caribbean was drooling over Johnny Depp. This felt like a go-big-or-go-home moment, and he never shied away from those. “Okay. I’ll try it.”

Blaine stood still, opening and closing his eyes as instructed. As Kurt had recently said, they want to be actors, and actors wear makeup, right?

“Okay. You can look in the mirror now,” Maria said.

Blaine could hardly recognize himself with the new hairstyle and black eyeliner. He smiled to himself, knowing that he definitely didn’t look like Kurt’s grandpa. “I like it.”

Blaine gave Maria a massive hug. “Thanks for everything. I wish I had a sister like you.”

“And I wish I had a brother like Cooper. He’s so gorgeous.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Trust me, you don’t want Cooper and his inflated ego.”

Blaine headed to the top of the stairs and could hear the Warblers chatting at the bottom. After taking two steps, there was complete silence as all the Warblers were watching him. Was the eyeliner too much?

“Holy Oleo!” David shouted.

Blaine snarked back, “I didn't know you could yodel.”

Jeff bounced in excitement. “Someone call the fire department. Blaine Warbler is on fire!”

Blaine threw his head back in laughter, loving the attention. “Chill. I’m just getting started.”

“You know, I think you may be the sole reason for global warming,” Thad joked.

Trent’s face was flushed. “I think I’ll head to the kitchen and stick my head in the freezer to cool down.”

The Warblers gathered together and sang, “OH, YEAH!”

Blaine laughed to himself when he noticed that they were all wearing jeans and white T-shirts. They certainly liked to wear a uniform, even outside of school. He greeted each Warbler, preening at their compliments. They gave him the confidence he needed to get through the evening. 

Jeff jumped on a nearby chair and hollered, “Let’s get the party started!” 

Trent came over to Blaine. “There’s room in my car for you.”

“Guys! Don’t forget to do your vocal warmups in the car. We’ve got a performance coming up,” Wes reminded them.

“You guys are singing?” Blaine asked.

“We’re going to arrive with a song. You’ll be our lead soloist, of course,” Wes replied.

Blaine’s body filled with dread. Why didn’t Jeff or Nick warn him? “I’m not sure about that. Maybe once the karaoke has started.”

David threw his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. “Since when has Blaine Warbler shied away from an entrance? Come on. It’ll be fun. Like the old days.”

Thad added, “We picked a song you know. With the way you look… It’ll be perfect.”

Blaine reminded himself that tonight would be a go-big-or-go-home moment, and fist-pumped. “OH, YEAH!”

Blaine put on his new jacket, enjoying the feel of the soft leather. His mom had given him special permission to buy it as a gift for winning Regionals. 

Nick sidled up to him. “Nice jacket. You look even hotter than James Dean.”

They loaded into the cars and did the vocal warmups as Wes ordered on the way to Rachel’s. Blaine was pleasantly surprised by the song choice and mentally went through the lyrics and possible dance moves. Yes, this would be the perfect song to make their entrance.

In no time at all, they were at the Berry house, and they could see lights on in the basement. Blaine popped a mint in his mouth, knowing that there might be kissing later. They piled out of the cars, entered the house, and tossed their overnight bags in the corner. He led the Warblers to the basement door and could hear Rachel singing “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.” Poor Finn. He must have done something wrong.

“God, this party sounds so lame,” Thad remarked. 

“Then let’s get it started,” Jeff half-whispered. 

Blaine shook his body, took a deep breath, and whispered to himself, “Courage.”

After taking a few steps down the stairs, he began to sing.

So hot Out the box Can we pick up the pace? Turn it up, Heat it up I need to be entertained. 

The New Directions stopped what they were doing and gaped. Blaine quickly scanned the room to find Kurt and Dave standing next to each other. He hoped that Kurt’s mouth dropped open was a good sign.

The Warblers were in their usual formation behind him, doing their trademarked side-shuffle. They began to harmonize with him.

I told ya I'm a hold ya down until you're amazed Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name

When a few New Direction members began dancing, Blaine worked the room. He shimmied with Santana, hip-bumped a stunned Finn, and slowly twirled Artie’s wheelchair. By this time, everyone was dancing and singing along. He flung his head back and loved the feel of his curls bouncing. He worked his way toward Kurt for the final lines. He tossed off his jacket and grabbed Kurt’s hand, swaying their bodies together.

Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet (bet ya thought) You thought an angel swept you off your feet Well I'm about to turn up the heat (turn up the heat) I'm here for your entertainment

Blaine gently moved one of his hands from Kurt’s hip to the middle of his upper back. After guiding Kurt’s hand to his neck, he dipped Kurt and crashed their lips together. Unlike their previous chaste kisses, this was hot and dirty, filled with urgency and lust. Blaine felt heat flash through his body. The hoots and hollers sounded muffled while he focused on Kurt’s lips working against his. Kurt tugged his curls, and Blaine let out a moan. When Blaine felt Kurt’s tongue, he immediately parted his lips. Kurt kissed him deeper, plunging his tongue inside his mouth, hot and deep. Blaine’s head was spinning. Kurt’s touch, his smell, his taste filled his senses. 

“Wanky!” Santana shouted.

Santana’s voice brought Blaine back to reality. They had an audience. He and Kurt were fake dating. Blaine slowly raised Kurt so they were facing each other. Blaine stood there, dumbfounded. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath. The kiss was the most erotic experience of his life.

He looked at Kurt, who was heavily panting and had a look that Blaine couldn’t decipher.

Author's Notes: Song included was “For Your Entertainment” performed by Adam Lambert.

Thank you, Lilyvandersteen, for your speedy review. Your beta skills always made my writing so much better. I made last-minute edits and performed the final proofreading by myself, so all mistakes are mine.

Notes from GleefulDarrenCrissFan: Hey. Thanks to Teddyshoney, this story is completely edited. I'm going to start publishing three times a week until the full story is published. The next chapter, by Hippohead, will be posted Saturday.

#The Prom-us #the prom-us #klaine fic roulette- the prom-us #the prom us

[usedtohaveascenewithhim]

I'm trying really hard not to strangle my roommate when she gets home, so here's the text I wanted to send her:

I was not complaining. I was trying to bring attention to something I wanted to fix that would mutually benefit us, because we both leave shit out.

You’re right about the lights. I was raised better than to leave the lights on, and I’m sorry. I’ve been very forgetful lately (surely you don’t believe that I do it for shits and giggles). I’ll do better in the future. However, it costs pennies on the dollar to keep lights on. Everybody’s electricity bill is high because of how the weather has been, and we agreed to split it 50/50. If you want to start splitting by percentages, then you can start paying for the portion of my low-FODMAP foods that you eat. That about covers the difference.

As for the trash— a decent amount of it was your trash. It was one bag. I collected all of the trash I could find in the LDK and sink that night. That’s why it was so full. I wasn’t asking you to take out all of the recycling or cardboard (though I am frustrated about the recycling and cardboard. Not mad—but if we had each taken something out every day, we would have been done two weeks ago).

I recognize that I do not have a history of practicing what I am confronting you about, but I’m making a renewed effort at living my life instead of just surviving. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was acting as though I did not actively engage in the behaviors that I’m referencing. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it that night. I was halfway into a glass of wine. That’s not an excuse—I certainly could have explained it better with more context regardless of my condition. But after going home to clean up my family’s life, I really didn’t want to come home to have to clean the fucking carpet. To me, leaving things out when I’m actively at home is one thing. There is always the potential to clean it up. When I leave for a trip, my default has always been to get everything squared away. You have only ever known me when my trips have been mostly 36 hours or less, so it didn’t matter as much in the dorms. When I move into places, it takes a while for my old “this is home base” routines to kick in (and the depression and covid and all of that. I’ve been a mess this semester is what I’m trying to say).

Do not complain to me about your job. I work my ass off and manage my money so that I don’t find myself up shits creek without a paddle. I have had more time than you to do this—more semesters, yeah, but also more summer breaks, winter breaks, etc. I’ve probably spent more time working than in class. Yes, I’m privileged. I have a safety net. I grew up with 99% of my material needs fulfilled one way or another. That does not mean that my problems are any less valid than yours. I have offered to help you reduce your grocery bill. I have offered to help with budgeting resources and scholarships. I have offered to help you with your loans. If you don’t want my help, fine! The university offers financial counseling for students. But don’t act like you don’t have resources at your fingertips. And guess what? The only difference between your cashflow and mine (beyond income) is that I utilize my credit card effectively month to month. That’s how people are able to fucking afford things with a paycheck like mine. Also, “Daddy” doesn’t pick up the check. I pay for more of my own shit than he ever did in college, and his parents weren’t as well off as my father is. That speaks nothing of the fact that my father often requires his children to pay for their own things. It builds character. If I ask him to pay for something, I know he might say no, and I have to be okay with that. Is he going to say no in the dead of winter when I can’t pay my portion of the electric bill? No. That’s why I make sure that I NEVER have to ask him, which I can do through because of a job that broke me this semester My mother (a first generation college student) is proud of how I budgeted ON MY OWN and how I conduct my finances while eating on a diet that is required for me to live a meaningful life—which, by the way, costs about twice as much as your grocery bill month to month. You could lower your grocery bill by purchasing the Great Value bottle of cranberry juice instead of Ocean Spray. You can’t complain about not being able to afford groceries and then buy name brand products.

I’m sorry that I have let my emotional mess reflect in all aspects of my life. I’m trying to take care of myself, but it’s hard when you don’t know if any of it is medical or somatic (which is, in and of itself, medical). I have more doctors than I have friends, I have no support system beyond the middle aged empty nesters and millennials that I drink with, and my brain literally does not work. I’ve been trying not to vent to you since our conversation a couple of weeks ago (or whenever that happened. Time doesn’t exist), so if you don’t want to hear my problems, don’t ask me what’s wrong. I do not care if you ignore me actively crying. I’d rather sit with my emotions or go see Quinton at Prairie St than have the fact that I confided in you thrown back in my face. I would rather use up more energy calming myself down to go out than feel like this right now.

We have different problems. It isn’t bad. They’re just different. You’ve always been allowed to complain. We’re peers. If you think I’m being a jackass, tell me. If you think I’m depressed as fuck and don’t realize that I’m leaving all of my shit out, tell me. If you decide that we need a good old fashioned MGR-inspired cleaning day, then fucking say the word. I’ll turn on some music and we can take the entire day to deep clean this whole fucking apartment.

#dnr #well this could be a mountain goats song

[andrewuttaro]

Catechetical Cat (Week XXIX) Avalanche

Grief can’t be deeper than love. It’s precisely how hard we love that causes that anguish of grief.

Melinda Ribnek

There was this guy I worked with in my Dunkin Donuts days who was from Colorado. He and I went to the same school, but it seems as if we talked the most when we had that precious little off time between shifts behind the counter. He was a snowboarder and spoke of his winter trips back home in almost religious terms. It seemed as if much of his life was intermissions between trips to the mountain. Apparently his parents’ separation is what saw him crossing the country several times a year. He only mentioned that in passing as it was clear snowboarding was his sanctuary. In a rare moment he was vulnerable enough to say the deeper part out loud. He said once you get good at something that refreshes you it allows you the mental time and space to really process what needs to be processed. He said you have do this processing so the pain of what you’ve suffered doesn’t hit you all at once like an avalanche. I swear: he really did use an avalanche metaphor. I’ll never forget him for that reason too.

Strength is such a weird thing. We say we need to be strong as if it’s a blunt force you break down doors with. The truth is that any kind of strength is a skill of some acumen. You need to work it if you want to get anything out of it as the old saying goes. It is so confounding that some of us have gotten it in our heads that building up walls around our true feelings is some kind of strength. It may be a temporary strategy to process them properly at a later time, but we need to be honest enough with ourselves to be sufficiently honest with others. Few hidden things are healthy things. And yes, sometimes we even think we can hide things from ourselves.

The truth always comes in equal measure. If we commit to building up the stuff we don’t want to deal with in imagined internal compartments we’re just readying ourselves to be buried under the avalanche when we can’t hold it all back anymore. That time comes. It always comes. The only true loss in it, because nobody is ever too far gone, is that wasted time to love and be loved. Life may play brutal, cynical games with us, but we can only manage what variable about that: ourselves. If something is hurtful you have to process the hurt at some point. The most basic strength we can build up in ourselves is managing avalanches… or preventing them before they happen. From that willingness to take care of ourselves comes every other kind of strength. In a way its that first strength we learn as small children, learning that sometimes we need to set our most base desires aside for something else. My snowboarding coworker said he doesn’t know if we would have survived High School without those trips to the mountain. As he grew up he realized it wasn’t the mountain that saved his life but the strength he found up there.

[queer-trashmouth]

I just want to go ice skating with him with the fairy lights twinkling in the park as we cling on to each other laughing. I want to sit curled up in a big blanket with him in front of a roaring fireplace while we sip hot chocolate and wait for the cookies we made to come out of the oven. I want to go sledding with him and have snowball fights and build snowmen and then come inside where it’s cozy and watch Christmas movies til we doze off together

#mlm #nblm #me #🥺🥺🥺 i really am gay huh #I just love my boyfriend v much he’s really great and I’m kinda head over heels #this time of year makes a gay little man of me and I love having someone to spend it with #I may or may not show this to him but I miss him a lot #I don’t know how I’ll survive winter break without him #and his kisses and his hugs #I’m sleeping with his blanket and it’s perfect and I wish he were cuddled up here with me

[itsallyscorner]

Teaming Up with Sam and Bucky ft Zemo

Pairing: FEM!Reader; Bucky Barnes x reader, Sam Wilson x reader; platonic(?), let’s throw in some Zemo x reader

Summary: What it would be like to team up with our favorite duo. Takes place during TFATWS.

Warnings: none, TFATWS SPOILERS. Lowkey a mess :D

A/n: Ever since TFATWS came out I’ve been reminded of how much I love Bucky and Sam. Also I have a new found love for Zemo. I’ve just been so obsessed with this series and I’ve been reading so many fics about it, so I decided to finally write my own :) Enjoy my loves❤️

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

✧───── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧

You’re basically working with a bunch of children.

The children mostly being Sam and Bucky, though Zemo does have his moments once he joins you three.

You’ve known dumb and dumber for a few years now, being part of the Avengers, you’ve worked with Sam on multiple missions. The friendship blooming somewhere in between.

You were also close friends with Steve; when he first came out the ice, you were assigned to help him adjust to the modern world by Fury. He would tell you a bunch of stories of him and Bucky running into trouble or Bucky always saving his ass whenever he was getting beaten up.

Eventually, you finally got to meet Bucky, though he wasn’t Bucky, he was the Winter Soldier. Your introduction to each other was quite memorable to say the least.

He choked you with that metal arm of his and for a split second you swore you might’ve found it attractive—till he threw your body against a car.

You sided with Cap during the accords and helped him protect Bucky. When that whole mess was over, Steve asked you to stay with Bucky in Wakanda to make sure he would be safe.

You were the first person to have some kind of bond with Bucky. Before and after he was freed from Hydra’s hold on him, you were always someone he knew he could trust.

When Steve told you what he was going to do while retuning the stones he told you to watch over them.

“Promise me you’ll keep an eye on Buck and Sam?” He asked you, sitting on the edge of your bed. He had snuck into your room late at night, knowing you were wide awake.

You squeezed his hand reassuringly, a lazy smile on your lips, “They don’t need me, I’m sure they’re capable of surviving on their own.” Steve breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, “You’d be surprised.”

“But seriously, (y/n), they need you. You know how they get when they’re together. You’re the only person in the world who knows how to deal with the both of them at the same time.” Steve reasons, his baby blues sparkling in the darkness of the guest room of Tony’s lake house.

“Make sure they’re not on the verge of killing each other or running into too much trouble?” You tiredly nod, sleep slowly consuming your body. “I promise, they’re gonna be alright, Steve.”

Sometimes you found yourself looking up at the sky, cursing at it—or Steve—for leaving you with two of the most childish and stubborn men you’ve ever known in your life.

You were like the mother of the group; breaking up fights, making sure they skipped no meals, patching up their boo-boos, etc.

“Will you stop staring at me?” Sam snapped, tossing his goggles onto the seat beside him to glare at Bucky.

“I’m not staring at you.” Bucky remarked from across Sam. His flesh and metal arm crossing with each other as he stared at Sam challengingly.

“Yes, you are. Your eyes are connecting with mine. You’re literally staring at me right now!” Sam pointed out, to which Bucky rolled his eyes at.

“Because I’m talking to you, genius. I wasn’t staring at you.” Bucky quipped.

“Yes you were!”

“No I wasn’t!”

This continued till they were sick of bickering with each other, finally yelling out your name for help.

The arguments were straight up petty. Bucky wouldn’t admit it, but he was the pettiest.

Exhibit 1: “LoOKiNG StrONg jOHn!”

Like seriously? Bucky’s the pettiest bitch, nobody can tell me otherwise.

You and Sam would definitely find it amusing how Bucky doesn’t trust Redwing.

Obviously, you all despise John Walker. Just the thought of him left a bad taste in your mouth.

He was like a fly that you all couldn’t get rid of. But because you were all painfully patient people—mostly you and Sam—you had to deal with his bullshit despite the way he annoyed you all.

Totally loosing your shit when Bucky helps Zemo break himself out of prison.

“Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” You groaned, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose together.

Bucky looks at you with feign innocence; his mouth agape and puppy eyes. “I—didn’t do...anything(?).”

“You helped Zemo break out of prison didn’t you?” You crossed your arms at him, hip jutting out. As if on cue, Sokovian sugar daddy walks into the abandoned garage you were all in.

Before you can explode on him, Bucky tried to calm you down, “Wait, I technically didn’t do anything though! It was his plan!”

Zemo definitely lives up to being the ✨Sokovian Sugar Daddy✨ of your dysfunctional group.

I think you’d all be surprised at how rich he was. The amount of connections he had wasn’t that big of a shocker.

No like seriously, homie was pulling all sorts of shit out his ass; cars, private planes, houses in different countries, etc.

You all had a love hate relationship with Zemo. On days when he was actually helpful, you all got a long. On the days when things got horribly messy, Zemo couldn’t even let a word out since Sam would tell him to “shut up”.

Though that still doesn’t excuse the fact that he got the Avengers to spilt up and go against each other.

When you guys are all hiding out in one of Zemo’s apartments or homes, you would probably cook breakfast, lunch, or dinner for everyone.

They actually loved it when you cooked because it made the atmosphere feel a bit homey and calm compared to the current situation you were all in.

You were the person they can all go to. You were easy to talk to, making it easier for them to open up to you.

You always checked in on them mentally and physically. For example, you knew Sam felt guilty about giving up the shield, but Bucky never made him forget about his choice. You were there to reassure him that he thought he was doing the right thing and didn’t know the hidden agenda of the government.

You were like their on the go therapist, babysitter, and partner.

Sometimes Bucky and Sam would even argue for your attention.

“Can you stop hogging (y/n) please? Her ears might fall off from hearing you yap all day.” Bucky said as he gently took your arm and dragged you away from Sam.

“You literally spent the whole day with her yesterday, you’re the one who needs to stop hogging (y/n).” Sam argued, grabbing onto your other arm.

“I didn’t get to spend time with (y/n).” Zemo mentioned from his seat in the kitchen, a glass of whisky in his hand. Bucky simply turned to him and pointed, “NO!”

Honestly what’s a friendship with Bucky and Sam without some harmless flirting. They weren’t gonna lie, you were gorgeous, the most attractive one out of the group.

When you guys had to go undercover at Madripoor, both times with Zemo and Sharon, you had to wear dresses that were a bit revealing. Maybe your chest was a bit shown, but the dress definitely showed off your legs.

“So what do you guys think?” You stopped at the bottom of the stairs of Sharon’s apartment, doing a little spin to show off your outfit.

Both Bucky and Sam’s jaws drop, Zemo probably nodding in approval in the corner.

You can’t forget about the nicknames: maybe doll, sweetheart, or darlin’ from Bucky and the typical Louisiana Cher from Sammy.

While fighting against the Flag Smashers or anyone in general, you guys always had each other’s back.

You could directly be fighting someone, but you’ll naturally have an eye on Sam and Bucky to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them.

It’s a given that you all patch each other up after some fight.

You were all very protective of each other. If there’s one thing Sam and Bucky can agree on, it’s their instinct to protect you.

Like how you kept an eye on them, they also kept their eyes on you. Even though they knew you could hold your own.

“Could you walk?” Sam asked you as you laid on the concrete floor. You were double teamed by a couple of Flag Smashers. Two super soldiers against a normal person, you totally got your ass handed to you.

You pushed yourself up to rest on your elbows, “I’m fine, just got dropped kicked twice, but I’ll be fine.”

Sam smiled at you, “That’s my girl.”

Though the two can be a handful and argue almost every minute, you loved the both of them tremendously. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

🏷 Tags ↴

*If your name has a line through it, it means tumblr won’t let me tag you*

Marvel Cast/ Avengers Tags

↪︎ @ximaginx @lozzypoz321 @sunwardsss @pokemonbong @pjokotlcmarvel201 @whoslili @111111111111111sblog @marvel-is-a-mood @blckyungblood @astroponyo @universemarvel @imthebadguyyy @roseke @bi-myself-forever @httpscarletwitch @millenniumloki @cristin-rjd @swords-are-cool @melaninfalconbucky @deamus-liv @elvish-sky @catsandbooksandsstuff @ellajoy419 @moonlight-babe99

General tags

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney @bi-lmg @rqmanoff @sesamepancakes @stardustofreading @dracoswhore007

#marvel #mcu #avengers #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #Bucky Barnes #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson imagine #Sam Wilson #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #Anthony Mackie #anthony mackie imagine #anthony mackie x reader #bucky barnes headcanon #sam wilson headcanon #sebastian stan headcanons #Anthony Mackie headcanons #Zemo #baron helmut zemo #zemo x reader #avengers x reader

[asweetprologue]

me lámh le do lámh - Part I

Ahh I can’t believe it’s finally done! After a year of working on this beast, it’s finally ready for me to share. This is something I started way back last summer, and I decided to finish it as my project for this year’s @geraskierbigbang. It will be ten parts in total, and I will post one part per day until it is complete! There are several art pieces that were created by the wonderful @herostag​ and Miranda.draws for this story, which I will link when the appropriate section is posted. For a summary and further links, please see the masterpost.

Next | Ao3 | Masterpost

“Alright,” Geralt said. “Don’t laugh at me.”

Yennefer looked up at him with bright eyes, curious and already mirthful. She was sitting across from him in his quarters, reading through a tome she’d found in Kaer Morhen’s disheveled library. Geralt had just come from a bath after hours spent training Ciri in the yard, and the room was filled with the warm evening light, supplemented by the fire crackling in the hearth. Yennefer had insisted on carting dozens of tapestries and drapes to hang around the drafty keep, and the room was nearly stuffy with their bulk keeping the heat in.

Yennefer gave him an amused smirk. “I will make no such promises before I even know what you’re going to say.” The gentle teasing brought a fond smile to Geralt’s face. After the events of the mountain all those years ago, things had been understandably tense. Yennefer had been reluctant to join them when she had finally met up with Geralt after Sodden, but had eventually agreed to seek refuge in the witchers’ keep and teach Ciri to control her magic. Once she’d met the girl it had all been a wash; it was clear as soon as their eyes met across the room that Yennefer was as much a part of Ciri’s destiny as Geralt was.

Geralt had expected that to either mend the rift between them enough for things to go back to the way things were, or make things even more awkward. Instead, they found themselves in a sort of in-between. Over the years his affection for Yennefer had only grown, but he found himself looking to her more and more as a friend—maybe his best friend. After Jaskier, of course.

Speaking of. “I was thinking about Jaskier.”

Yennefer rolled her eyes obviously. “As you are so frequently wont to do. The thaw will come soon enough, dear, and you can run off in search of your bard.”

Geralt felt his ears grow warm. Witchers couldn’t blush, not truly, but he still felt the tingle of it as he fidgeted with embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant,” he said, absently tracing a finger against the grain of the wooden table. There were two goblets of wine sitting between them, but so far neither of them had begun to drink. “Do you know how many winters it’s been since I found Ciri?”

If she was confused by the odd turn in subject matter, Yennefer didn’t show it. Instead she looked thoughtful. “Two, perhaps three? You know I don’t follow the seasons with diligence.”

“Neither do I,” Geralt agreed. “I was thinking the same though, two or three years since the fall of Cintra. Which means Jaskier is…” He paused, trying to do the math. “He was a few years past forty, during the dragon hunt, I think. He must be closer to fifty now than not.”

Yennefer raised an eyebrow at him. “I recall mentioning something about his crows feet. What of it? Humans age. Are you only just discovering this?”

Geralt forced himself not to grumble. In a way, he was only discovering it. He’d known humans across the years, of course, and knew that many that he’d once been acquainted with were no longer alive or were in their twilight years. For decades Geralt had wandered through the world, changing no more than a ghost would, touching the lives of regular mortals for a brief instance, maybe a few times if they were particularly unlucky. No one had stayed by his side, dedicated themselves to a relationship with him, the way that the bard had. The amount of devotion that Jaskier showed to him had made Geralt antsy, in earlier years, and then confused and angry by turn. He had hated the idea of someone needing him, had hated needing someone in return. The way his chest felt heavy when he and Jaskier parted ways had left him furious with himself and the bard.

And then Ciri came into his life, and everything had changed so quickly.

With Ciri, it didn’t matter whether Geralt felt like he should care for her, or if he wanted to. He needed to. Without him, the girl would die, or be kidnapped by Nilfgaard for who knows what purpose. He had to feed her, and clothe her, and teach her, and he had to love her for her to thrive.

She made it very easy. It was only afterwards that he realized how much of an idiot he’d been to Jaskier, and the thought of how he’d treated the bard over the years had plagued him. It had been months before he could find him to apologize, but Jaskier forgave him almost immediately—which Geralt found both relieving and infuriating at the same time. This was the first winter they’d spent apart since. Geralt left the keep more rarely now, heading out on the Path only when the months grew truly warm and returning at the first hint of falling leaves. Ciri was safe on her own, he knew, but he missed her when he was away. And he could admit now that one of the forces driving him back into the world over the last few years had been the itching desire to find Jaskier again and settle the yearning in his chest for another year. He was less inclined to venture forth when his bard, his daughter, Yennefer and his brothers were all in one place.

This winter Jaskier had begged off, saying that he had “work in the south,” which could mean anything from spending a decadent winter in the court of some noble or sludging through the front lines as a Redanian spy. Geralt had learned not to pry too deeply into Jaskier’s business when he wasn’t around. It was often either too explicit for him to stomach or too confidential for Jaskier to share freely.

It worried him, being away from the bard for so long. He could get hurt, or captured by Nilfgaard, or worse. But what really terrified Geralt was the idea that he would find Jaskier in a tavern along the Path and realize that the bard had grown old, to find silver in his hair and wrinkles beside his eyes. “He’s getting too old,” Geralt said to Yennefer, who looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

“You must have known when you started travelling with him that he would eventually leave you,” Yennefer said, not unkindly. “Humans are so short lived.”

“I didn’t exactly get a choice about becoming his muse,” Geralt said with a huff. Despite his improved relationship with Jaskier over the past few years, he still found it difficult to admit that he had always been more than willing to let the bard tag along. If he’d wanted to travel alone, he would have. But he never had. “I just didn’t realize…”

“It always comes sooner than you think it will,” Yennefer sighed. She set her book aside and picked up her goblet of wine, turning to look out the large window their table sat in front of. It faced west out of the keep wall, towards the mountains and the forest beyond. The sun had set below the craggy peaks, throwing the snow covered valley below into darkness. Geralt could just make out the ruins of the old tower, its stones dark against the white landscape. “You can’t cure his mortality, Geralt.”

“We did.”

The look that Yennefer gave him was sharp, almost angry. The firelight in the room turned her violet eyes darker, like mulberry wine. “At great cost,” she snapped. “I can’t imagine you would put him through the Trials.”

A stab of panic shot through his gut at the thought. “No. Of course not. He wouldn’t survive it anyways. Only children stand a chance at all.”

Yennefer nodded, apparently satisfied that Geralt hadn’t completely lost his mind. “The boy hasn’t got an ounce of Chaos in him, in spite of his rather chaotic nature, so I highly doubt they’ll accept him as a late trainee at Ban Ard.”

“There must be other ways,” Geralt said, feeling petulant. “Less conventional.”

“I cannot believe we are actually discussing this,” Yennefer said, rising to her feet. She picked up her book from the table as well as her glass. “There is no way to achieve immortality, especially not without sacrifice. You know that, Geralt. Drop this foolish line of thought.”

Geralt rose after her, reaching out to catch her retreating wrist. A grasp loose enough that she could break it, if she wanted, but Yennefer paused. “Please, Yen. Just… look into it for me? I can’t—the thought of—” He cut himself off, dropping his hand away from her arm. The look she gave him was more pitying than he would have liked.

“I’ll do some research, but nothing more. Don’t get your hopes up, Geralt. There’s a reason there are so few of us,” she said. Her face softened slightly, as much as it ever did. Despite Ciri, Yennefer was still made of more glass and fire than anything else. “I know you love him, even if you can’t admit it to yourself. I promise, I will do my best.”

Geralt nodded wordlessly as she left and wondered if Jaskier's eyes would be as bright next time he saw him.

*

For weeks Yennefer said nothing about his request, and Geralt refocused on spending time with Ciri and preparing to depart for the spring. Lambert and Eskel had already left a month before, as soon as the road down the mountain began to thaw, but Geralt had hung back. The roof needed repairs, a difficult job to do in the midst of winter, and it was a hard task to leave for Vesemir alone. It was always like this, now—him looking for odd jobs to keep him at Kaer Morhen, with Ciri, making excuses until Jaskier’s jitteriness or Vesemir’s raised eyebrows forced them on the road again. Some of that was mitigated this season by the silence he heard when he found himself listening for the sounds of lute strings strumming gently in the background, and Geralt’s increasing anxiety about Jaskier’s wellbeing. Even so, it was hard to leave Ciri behind.

The girl was progressing rapidly as she entered her teen years, the chubbiness of her youth morphing into lean if awkward muscle as she continued to work on her swordsmanship. When Geralt and his brothers weren’t pushing her through drills, she was studying monsters and alchemy with Vesemir, or practicing her magic with Yen. She never seemed to tire, eagerly absorbing any lessons passed on to her and desperate to prove her worth. The only person she seemed to let her guard down around was Geralt, who found himself often goading her into mock wrestling matches (which he refused to throw on principle) and humoring her when she became restless and wanted to explore beyond the keep. Kaer Morhen was dangerous in the winter, but as spring approached and the deep snows on the surrounding mountains began to thaw, the duo spent more and more time trekking through old ruins and sleeping beneath the stars.

He could put off his journey south no longer.

“I’m going to be fine, Geralt,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. He wondered if he’d been this petulant as a teenager. Certainly Lambert had. “I can take care of myself, and Yen will be with me.”

Geralt tapped her wooden training sword with his own, indicating that she should prepare to go again. When he was a boy he’d trained against the other foundlings, stumbling around like pups through drills and sparring matches. Ciri trained against full witchers, and only Eskel ever faked a misstep here or there to allow her to get in a good hit. When she won a fight for the first time, it would be on her own merit.

The girl raised her sword into a decent fighting stance, and Geralt moved to correct her footwork. Her sword work was exceptional above the belt, but she consistently forgot her stances, throwing herself off balance. They’d begun putting her on the pendulums to force her to focus, dancing between posts to attack the dummies. Geralt had spent many a night rubbing salve into her bruised shoulders, gained from taking fall after fall from the low poles. No one forced her, but if there was one thing Ciri hated, it was admitting to weakness in herself. “Sword up,” Geralt said, and launched into his attack.

He stayed on the offense, forcing her to practice the defensive drills they’d started going over recently. “I know you’ll be fine,” he said, continuing their conversation. His breathing was relaxed, almost meditative through the slow exchange of blows. “Just seems cruel to leave you with only the old man and Yennefer for company.”

Ciri giggled despite herself, and Geralt found himself grinning back before he smacked her lightly in the ribs with the training sword. She swore—Lambert, Geralt thought with chagrin—and danced back a few paces. “Gotta focus,” he said, still smirking at her.

She poked her tongue out at him childishly and reposted off of one of his blocked attacks. He easily swayed out of the way, but the movement was fluid and smooth, which meant someday it would be fast, faster than he could dodge. He gave an encouraging nod.

They continued to spar for another half an hour or so before breaking, heading to the well to fill their water pouches. Geralt sat on the short ring of stones and Ciri slumped on the ground beside him, leaning against his leg. The simple trust and familiarity she exhibited around him still took him by surprise, sometimes. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” he said, rubbing a hand over the top of her head. Her hair was almost as white as his.

She sighed, wiping dripping water from her chin as she tossed her water pouch down. “I figured,” she said. “Say hello to Jaskier for me, when you find him? I missed his songs this time.”

Geralt’s caress turned into a playful ruffle. “I will. Any requests for books?”

“Ones about Elves,” she said immediately, “and Skelligan alchemy. It’s different from ours, did you know? The Druids—”

Geralt chuckled. “I know. You’ve said half a dozen times. No fairytales this time?”

The girl hummed, reminding him for a brief and touching moment of himself. “Just bring Jaskier back. He tells about your adventures so much better than you do.”

“He’s certainly made a career out of it,” Geralt grumbled, feigning annoyance. “I’ll do my best. You know how he is.”

“You missed him too,” she said, hitting his knee with one closed fist. “I know you did. You get all…Well, more grumbly and mopey than usual, when he’s not around.” She wrinkled her nose up at him in exaggerated disgust. “It’s gross. But I do want you to be happy.”

Geralt knocked back against her gently with his knee, swallowing around the feelings that rose in his throat. “You just think I’m a boring old man who won’t help you put toads in Eskel’s bed. But you never even ask. I’m the expert, not Jaskier.”

Ciri laughed, bright and crisp in the morning air, and Geralt felt warm despite the fading winter chill. Tomorrow he would leave, and he would find Jaskier, and next winter he would tell Jaskier that he had to stay at Kaer Morhen. For Ciri, if nothing else. And if it was more for Geralt’s sake than anything, well, no one had to know.

*

Yennefer found him before he left, saddling Roach in the stables.

“Go to Triss,” she said by way of a greeting. Geralt knew what she meant by the gravity in her tone and the tension sitting in the corners of her mouth. “Ask after Ida. I don’t know where she is or if she’ll speak with you, but a Sage is the only one that might be able to give you anything.”

Geralt reached out to grasp her hand firmly in his own. “Thank you, Yen,” he said honestly.

The sorceress sniffed. “Well, you owe me one, I suppose. I hope you find what you're looking for. But be careful.”

“I won’t do anything that might put him in harm’s way,” he promised. “I swear it.”

“Good.” She gave him a slight smile before leaning in to brush a kiss over his rough cheek. The simple touch warmed him from inside out. “Say hello to the bard for me. Tell him I heard about that disastrous competition in Vizima. Ought to have him stewing for a good long while.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “I’ll give him your love as always.”

“Goodbye, Geralt,” she said, patting his arm lightly. “Be safe. You know how to reach me, if you have need.”

“I do,” he said. “I will. Take care of Ciri.”

“It’s more the other way around, I’m afraid,” she said with a soft smile, and Geralt understood exactly what she meant. Ciri had saved them both, in more ways than one. Every time he left her was more painful than the last. Someday, he knew, they might travel the Path together, a witcher, a sorceress and their daughter. Maybe even a bard, if he was extremely lucky.

Geralt hoped he would be.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geraltxjaskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #big bang #geraskier big bang 2021 #multichapter #fic #fanfic #the witcher #witcher #writing #my work #geraskierbigbang #me lamh

[mackeydoodledoo]

Demon or Human?

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x Demon (Fem!)Reader

Summary: A foreign invader comes into Castle Dimitrescu just as you were settling in with your new family. However, how far would you be willing to go to protect your newfound home and your newfound love?

Warning: Game spoilers (I’ll try to keep those at a minimum), Blood, Slight G0R3, uncontrollable demon rage, fluff at the end

A/N: In light of some Resident Evil Village spoilers... Let’s just say I WILL NOT HAVE IT! So, I guess this is another entry to my The Demon Amongst Vampires series! R is My Character: Hydrangea Dragonfold

--------------------------------------------------------------

1 Year..

You’ve been inhabiting Castle Dimitrescu for one year. Alcina had been able to persuade Mother Miranda to keep you in her care instead of letting you be hunted for sport. You’d probably survive it anyway, with your demon abilities. 

“I have to go to a meeting,” Alcina announces to you and her daughters, “Apparently Mother Miranda has found a foreigner man-thing in our village grounds.”

“A man?!” Daniela squeals of excitement

"A new plaything?!” Cassandra asks

“You must bring him here at once mother,” Bela says

She looks at her three children, almost looking like she is tired of their pleas. However, she recomposes herself

“I will have to persuade Mother Miranda as best as I can,” Alcina says, “I appoint Hydrangea on watch. Bela is in charge.”

You leave your mouth agape, hearing your name after while of Bela calling you “micul meu demon” or everyone else calling you demon.

“But mother-” Cassandra interrupts

“Why can’t it be either one of us?” Daniela motions to her and Cassandra

“Because I’m the oldest,” Bela flaunts her ‘eldest sibling title’

“There will be no complaints my daughters,” Alcina says, “Guard the castle well Hydrangea.”

“Of course My lady,” you say out of respect

“You have permission to call me Alcina Hydrangea,” She smiles

Alcina makes her exit. 

“I get the first bite on the man thing,” Daniela blurts out

“Not if I catch him first,” Cassandra interrupts

“Enough!” Both you and Bela scream

Your blue flames ignite slightly, almost setting the table on fire. However, you compose yourself. Thus, your flames ‘dieing’.

“We will wait for your mother to return,” You sigh, “Gosh you two are rowdy. No wonder why Bela is in charge.”

You ignite your flames once you stand, heading off towards the staircase. However, Bela follows you. You didn’t notice her presence until she grabs your wrist and pulls you into a room.

“Bela love what are you doing?” You ask

You try to get her to let go of you however, you stop fighting her as she doesn’t reply to you but only snakes her arms around your midsection, taking in your warmth that you were producing. Not only from your natural body heat, but your demon form as well. You were also sure that she was also listening to your racing heartbeat. The one thing you feared was giving too much heat, too much to the point where Bela and possibly everyone else you’ve come to love and care about they turn to ash because of your carelessness of your flames. 

“I... Love, I have to leave,” You sigh, placing your hand on her head and the other on her waist 

“No you don’t,” She counter argues

“I do my love,” You say, looking down at her, “I have to keep you three safe.”

“And you think we can’t protect ourselves?!” Bela asks

“That is not what I meant love,” You say, “It’s just... It’s just I’m not over what happened last time... If I hadn’t come when I did, you would have died... I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for that. I’d die if anything happened to you.”

Bela’s grip on you only tightens when you finish your sad ramble. This gets you in tears. You really couldn’t imagine the rest of your life without her.

“You’d die... For me?” She asks

“Of course I would love,” You smile, swooping her into your arms

Fortunately, your blue flames weren’t ignited enough to accidentally burn her. Your foreheads touch as you give her a kiss

“This is so much better,” Bela sighs in relief

“It really is,” You smile, “Thank you Bela.”

She kisses your forehead. You lay your head against her shoulder, hoping you could just stay like that for a little bit longer.

“Bela?” You ask, breaking the silence

“What is it my love?” She asks

“If this man... If this man scurries around the castle and hurts any of you,” You start, “What if I lose control of my demon form and I no longer see the human in me?”

“Simple, I‘ll get you out,” She answers

“What if you can’t?” You ask, worried now, “What if I’m the one who ends up hurting you?”

“Can you promise me one thing then?” She asks

You nod.

“The don’t use your full demon form,” She requests, “If you’re worried about hurting us, don’t use it. Should you though, I will pull you out.”

You had wished you were able to stay like that forever. However, you knew you had to begin your task. You and Bela give each other one last kiss before departing each others’ presence and embrace. Bela goes back down to the foyer to meet her sisters once more.

“You two okay?” Daniela asks, breaking the silence

“We are fine Daniela,” Bela answers

“Then when will the both of you just shut up and get married?!” Cassandra asks, clearly teasing Bela now

 “We are not-we don’t plan on that yet,” Bela says, “It’s never come up when we talk and we don’t need to yet.”

“Sure,” Daniela teases

As you were scouting the grounds of the castle, you already see Alcina returning to the castle.

“My lady!” You call out, “I’m assuming it didn’t go well?”

“Mother Miranda gave that man-thing to Heisenberg, of course I’m upset!” She groans in frustration, “I need a drink.”

You follow her back into the castle where her daughters immediately stand to greet her.

“Where’s the male foreigner?” Bela asks

“Mother Miranda gave him to Heisenberg that fool,” She groans

You all watch her walk up the stairs and disappear into the castle. You four seat back down into the couch, Bela leaning into your embrace. 

“How was scouting O-great demon king?” Daniela teases

“It was fine Dani,” you chuckle, “Are you just going to continuously make nicknames for me Dani?”

She nods as she leans back into the chair. However, before any of you could converse on, you could hear footsteps. You motion for the girls to stop talking.

“You guys hear that too?” You whisper

You motion for the three of them to follow you and once you get to the grand entrance of the castle, you see a man. 

“Looking for Rose?” Daniela calls out to him, taunting him

The three of them begin forming into their fly swarm and move toward him. You make the decision to tell Alcina herself that a man has entered the castle. 

“My lady, there is a man in the castle,” You sigh, “Your daughters are on the case. I’m not sure who he is- oh, speak of the devil, here they are.”

You hear the doors burst open along with struggled grunts. You look over and notice Cassandra and Bela dragging him in.

“Mother, I bring you fresh prey,” She says, trying to take the credit

“Oh, you are so kind to me daughters,” Alcina smiles, her daughters letting a slight giggle out of their mouths, “Now, let’s take a look at him.”

She stands up and faces him, “Well, well, Ethan Winters. You’ve escaped my little brothers’ idiot games did you? Let’s see how special you are.”

You watch Bela, Daniela and Alcina taste his blood. You stand next to Cassandra as you watch.

“Hey-Hey you, help me out!” Ethan pleas at you

You turn to look at him for a second. You feel your human willing to help him however, you end up turning your back to him, not willing to help him. If anything, you also hated men. 

“Starting to go a little stale,” Alcina says, “But, I must inform Mother Miranda. Later, there will be enough for everyone. Put him up.”

You watch again as Bela and Daniela hook his hands and Cassandra hoists him up. You hear him groan in pain as you all begin making your exit.

“Hey... Hey you!” He again calls for you, “Help me... Please...”

You stop in your tracks and look up at him. You only let out a low chuckle as Bela gently grabs your wrist and pulls you out from the room.

As you were finishing something with Cassandra you suddenly hear Bela’s grunts.

“Hey, I gotta go,” You say out of the blue

You follow Bela’s voice, rushing even further when you could hear her voice getting louder and louder.

“Bela! Bela!” You call out for her

You pass through the kitchen and notice Bela on top of Ethan. However, she doesn’t notice how he’s aiming his gun. Only you had noticed.

“Bela! The windows!” You scream, “He’s gonna shoot the windows!”

Believing that she didn’t hear you, you ignite your flames even more so than earlier. But, it’s concentrated to your palms. You begin melting the bars that had separated from you reaching Bela. However, just before the glass had gave way to the heavy damage, the bars melted enough for you to burst through. You hear Bela’s pained scream as the glass gave way to the heavy damage. 

“You- stupid man-thing!” Bela screams

You only pictured how she was the last time she was out in the cold. You let out an ear-piercing roar as you forcefully push Ethan out of the way to get to Bela. Igniting your flames ever so slightly, you pick Bela up and begin warming her up with your flames and your natural body heat. You go back into the dungeons and place her down gently, hoping you had warmed her enough.

“Are you okay?!” You ask, tears welling into your eyes

“I am now love,” She smiles, caressing your cheek

“Go!” You say, “Get your sisters an get somewhere safe! He knows! I’ll come find you.”

You watch Bela disappear into the dungeons, hopefully back into the castle to warn her sisters. You go back to where Ethan had shot the window. He was hoping you’d feel pain with the cold however, when you emerged from the cold wind, you came out, unphased.

“What the HELL ARE YOU?!” Ethan asks

“The one who will kill you,” You growl, taking in the cold, “My blood’s boiling...”

Your blue flame continue to ignite more than usual and you pounce onto him, snarling in his face. He tries to use his shotgun on you and he manages to graze the side of your head. He manages to wriggle himself out of your grip and shoots at you again, this time, in the shoulder. 

“Stay down kid,” He says mercilessly and runs into the direction you came

“Get back here you coward!” You scream, trying to stand

As your body began regenerating, you continuously crawled in the direction he was going in, beginning to track his scent. It was difficult as you were in the room where the wines are created. However, it didn’t stop you from continuing on the path. When you fully regenerated your shoulder, you get up nd try to track his scent as best as you could. However, when you only got back into the castle.

“Bela!” you call

You felt a hand on your wrist as you begin getting pulled into a room. A feeling of relief washes over you as you hug Bela tightly. You look over her shoulder and only see Cassandra with her.

“Where’s Daniela?” You ask, in a panicked state

“She ran off, hoping to take down the man herself,” Cassandra sighs

You hear the door burst open and it’s Alcina.

“That man will pay for what he’s done,” She growls, “My daughter are you hurt?”

“I was but- thanks to Hydrangea,” Bela sighs in relief, leaning into your shoulder to warm up some more

“Where’s Daniela?” Alcina asks

“She went to the library to take down the man mother, we tried to stop her,” Cassandra sighs

“You two stay with Hydrangea until I return with his head and Daniela,” Alcina orders before leaving again

She makes her leave. The three of you sit on the couch, Cassandra and Bela huddling against you for warmth. However, Bela practically seating herself into your lap.

“Do you have to be such a hog of the human furnace?” Cassandra looks at her older sister in annoyance

“I’m her girlfriend so buzz off,” Bela says

“She may be your girlfriend but I need some warmth too,” Cassandra growls

You could hear Daniela’s pained grunts and screaming. You stand up and place Bela down onto the couch next to her sister. You flick your finger and a small flame goes into the fire place, igniting the firewood.

“Alcina hasn’t found her yet,” You say, “I’ll go get Daniela the both of you stay here okay?”

Once you left the room you break into a run towards the library. You break through the door just as Ethan begins opening the roof to let in the cold air again.

“STOP!” You scream, grabbing onto Daniela

Sorry Bela... I have to do this... To protect all of you. You four accepted me almost instantly... I have to protect my home. I’m not letting anyone die here! The only one dying is him....

The ground around you became engulfed in blue flames, surrounding both you and Daniela

[A/n: not my gif]

“I got you Dani,” You say, the last time you heard your own voice

You look at Ethan completely deranged, more than Cassandra could ever look deranged at one of her “pets”. Ethan begins to walk backward however, tripping over an object.

“Let’s talk about this kid!” Ethan pleas, “From one human to another-”

“I’m not a human!” You spat, your demon voice overtaking your real voice, “I’m a demon! I protect my home and everyone in it!”

You let go of Daniela and leave her on the floor for Alcina to check on her. You throw Ethan out of the library. Alcina takes Daniela to where her other two daughters were. You throw him down a set of stairs. Coincidentally where Bela had opened the door.

You stand at the top of the stairs, looking down at Ethan, “You’ve overstayed your welcome... Time to say goodnight.”

“No-No please I beg you please I just wanted to find my daughter!” He screams

“All of this? For a child who isn’t even here?!” You mock him, “Your little baby could even be dead for all I care!”

Ethan draws his gun and pulls the trigger as a last resort to get you to stand down. However, you slice his arm off. You could hear his screams of pain as you now stand over him.

From the other room, Bela, Daniela, Alcina and Cassandra watch as you begin devouring his flesh. You stop after two bites out of his flesh you turn to the four women. Unable to feel your human, instead feeling your demon take full control over your body, you charge at Cassandra, Daniela, Alcina, even Bela. Alcina, being the protective mother she is, stands in front of her daughters, ready to slaughter you so if you lay a finger on her daughters like this. However, Bela runs past the three.

“Bela, get back here!” Alcina yells

Before you could lay a finger on them, Bela throws her arms around you, holding onto you tightly. As you flail your arms about, Bela still held onto you

“It’s me,” Bela says, calmly, “It’s okay now... I’m right here. Come back to me...”

You finally stopped flailing, your blue flames dissipating and your demon eye slits turning back into their round pupils.

“Be..la?” You call 

You gently place your hand on her head and the other around her. You sink into her touch and fall to your knees, Bela following your movements.

“It’s okay now,” She coos, “I’ve got you love. I’ve got you.”

You choke on your sobs as you hold onto Bela for dear life, sobbing into her shoulder.

“Bela did manage to get you out after all?” Alcina admires her oldest daughter, “And I thought I was going to have to kill her.”

Alcina sips her wine.

“Mother!” Bela growls

“I need to protect my prides and joys,” Alcina states

Bela was sitting in your lap as Daniela is huddled against your side and Cassandra on the floor facing you, Bela and Daniela.

“Do you really have to hog to the human furnace Bela? I’m the one who almost died,” Daniela growls

“She’s my girlfriend,” Bela draws the ‘girlfriend’ card for the millionth time

“How long do you intend on pulling that card against us Bela?” Cassandra asks

“As long as I want,” She smiles down at you

You smile back up at her, “Daniela, I also warmed you up in almost an instant with that amount of flames I emitted earlier. Did that not help?”

“Oh it did,” She smiles

“Then you don’t need to be complaining,” Bela scoffs

“By the way, I am digging the new look on you Hydrangea,” Cassandra says, smiling at you

Black horns with bright blue accents had remained from your blue flame horns or at least under them and a tail remained.

“Do you now Cass?” You smile, “I do too.”

Your tail unconsciously wraps itself around Bela’s waist. You could feel Bela’s fingertips playing with the fluff end of your tail, making your cheeks flush a faint pink.

“Awwww micul meu demon is blushing,” Bela teases

“Ssshut it,” You hiss

You weren’t sure how well you were going to do with that man-thing called Ethan Winters roaming around the castle. However, this was your home. You went to great lengths to protect it. Especially your new family and your girlfriend. Even if you would lose your human, you had Bela. You trust her enough to bring you back, should you lose sight of that human in you.

#bela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #female reader

[bvidzsoo]

White Lilies

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x female reader

 Warning: swearing, violence, mentions of death, stalking, breaking in, borderline toxic relationship, allude to some mental health conditions but never named

 Word count: 26, 815

 Summary: Your brother, Kim Doyoung, works for the police. Ever since you finished high school, you moved away from home with him and now you live in a big city. You struggle with different things, but the worst one is the tendency to stalk others. And one day when you walk inside a coffee shop and come across a very handsome stranger, you can’t help yourself, he becomes your next target. Jeon Wonwoo. But he isn’t innocent, you find that out the hard way.

 Taglist: @chal-kagyu​ @taeyongandfree​ @minkwans​ @itsdnguyenxoxo​ @rjsmochii​

 Unable to tag: @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans @leahxxiong

 A/N: Here it is! The spin off to Poison, it can be read as a stand alone, if not check out the mini-series: Poison. Minor things will make more sense. I hope it doesn’t bother you that I tagged you for this too, since it’s connected in some ways. Now, there��s things I have written in this oneshot that are totally not okay and I am very conscious of them, so please, if you ever come across a stalker or someone who harassess you, please report them, your safety is very important. But this is fiction, and I’m allowed to write whatever I want to. All the sentences in italics are the voices that Y/N hears. Enjoy now and don’t forget to leave feeback!

           All mornings were usually the same, it was a routine I became accustomed to a long time again. Five years ago, actually, when Doyoung and I moved away from home. There is only a two-year difference between us, so it was easy for me to follow him, having been already done with high school. Doyoung completed the police academy and he was being promoted, brought to Seoul, so I packed up and left my old life in our hometown. Nothing tied me to that place, I never liked it there. My parents were hot headed and they always argued with me, trying to convince me to become a house wife, to find myself a wealthy man that would care for me and for our family. But it wasn’t what I needed; I had always been a free spirit. I liked to explore and disappear from civilization from time to time. Like in eleventh grade, when I sneaked out and disappeared for ten days, the whole city was looking for me. However, I was living in the woods, by the outskirts of the city, in a small hut with a nice, old lady. She moved there after she gave up her job, because she wanted a peaceful life, surrounded by nature only. When she saw me wandering around, she offered me some tea and I accepted it, surprised to see someone living there. The hut wasn’t deep inside the woods, but it still took me by surprise that a lady like her wasn’t afraid inside there all alone. I wasn’t a big fan of forests, but being surrounded by trees and the green scenery always calmed my erratic nature. It was hard for me to stay still sometimes, that’s why Doyoung and I would regularly go on runs, to try and use up my energy on something. In school, I didn’t do very well, but it didn’t bother me. I was able to finish high school and get a diploma, but I didn’t want to go to college. I found it a waste of time and money, I decided I would find something that I liked doing and would excel in it. And with the help of the old lady from the hut, I realized I had a passion for photography. I got my first camera from her, and ever since then I didn’t stop taking pictures. It became my passion and my hobby, it earned me money. I was known for taking nature pictures, sometimes even of animals, and I had my own little blog where I posted all of my works. Sometimes I’d have my pictures put up in galleries for expositions, I earned well during those events. The small house Doyoung and I lived in, was full of all the pictures I took. We lived in a homey, quiet neighborhood, deep inside the heart of the city. Doyoung earned well and my salary always fluctuated, that’s why I decided to stay with my big brother, at least until I had gathered enough money to live on my own.

The house smelled of bacon and peppermint tea as I opened the window of my room, letting the fresh morning air in. I was already dressed for the day, camera packed safely inside my bag, waiting for a call. I wore dark velvet cotton pants and an oversized grey sweater with a deep V, due to which it fell off my shoulders. Ankle high heel boots and a few necklaces I used as accessories complimented the look. It was becoming warmer and warmer outside, which was great, because I never liked wearing coats. Besides, I rarely needed them, I had the unusual trait of not exactly feeling the cold. I was always underdressed during winter and it scared some people, especially Doyoung because he had the impression that I’d catch a cold, but it’s just how my body was, always too hot. I checked my phone to be sure that Mark didn’t decide to text me instead of calling me, but seeing there was nothing, I closed the window and took my bag, leaving my room. I closed the door after me, a habit I had, and headed inside the kitchen. Doyoung was in his police uniform already, moving around quietly the kitchen.

“Good morning!” I called loudly, sitting at the table, with my chin in my hand.

“Good morning.” Doyoung greeted, quieter, and turned around with a plate and mug in his hands. He placed them in front of me and I grinned, thanking him. I took the fork and dug into my breakfast, humming at how tasty it was. Even if our mornings were always the same, the breakfast wasn’t. Doyoung always had something up his sleeves, either trying out new recipes he searched up late at night, or just trying to replicate mother’s old recipes. I took a sip of the peppermint tea and pursed my lips, giving Doyoung a thumbs up as he closed the stove and turned to sit with his own plate and mug in his hands. He chuckled and mirror my thumbs up, before starting to eat too. We ate in silence, it’s how we were in the mornings, quiet. It was the only time Doyoung could savor the silence, because it was the only time I was silent. My hyperactivity followed me through all stages of life, I still struggled with staying still…that amongst other things.

Doyoung cleared his throat and I glanced at him, before checking my phone again, “What are your plans for today?”

“Ah, the usual.” I answered with a smile, trying to look nonchalant, so that he wouldn’t realize I was lying, “I’ll just go to the park and take some pictures if I find something I like.”

Doyoung nodded and took a bite of his bacon, “Don’t you think it’s time to…find a more stable work?”

“Like what?”

“Getting employed at a studio, maybe? You know…you could go to weddings, birthdays…all kinds of events to take pictures.” Doyoung’s suggestion was friendly, but it still angered me. I left home because I didn’t want to hear the constant nagging of our parents, but here he was, doing the same thing.

“I’m a nature photographer. And I wouldn’t like working inside a studio, or whatever.” I said a little harshly, making Doyoung sigh.

“I’m not judging you or trying to tell you what to do,” He knew how I could react to these things, he knew how much anxiety my parents induced when they would try and tell me what to do with my own life, “It was just a brotherly advice, because I worry about you.”

“You don’t have to!” I exclaimed cheerily, my phone ringing at the same time. I shot my hand out to grab it and answered the phone, already knowing who the caller was.

“Target is getting ready to leave, he’ll be at the same Coffee Shop he was for the past week.” Was all the person said before I hung up, stuffing the rest of the food inside my mouth hurriedly. I scrambled up from the chair and clumsily threw my phone inside my bag, trying to chug down the peppermint tea at the same time.

“Who was that?”

“Just some person trying to sell me something—” A burp I couldn’t control surfaced and Doyoung’s eyebrows furrowed in displeasure, but I just gave him an apologetic smile, “I’ll see you after work.”

I pressed a hasty kiss against his cheek, then raced to my car and unlocked it, throwing my bag inside before getting in. I would have to get to the Coffee Shop before the target gets there, to choose a good spot. This is what Doyoung didn’t know about me. I wasn’t just a nature photographer, I worked together with his colleague, Mark, whose job was to gather information about the targets the police had. He was really good at it, but sometimes he couldn’t gather enough information by sitting behind a computer. That’s where I come in play, I go out and stalk his targets. A year ago, Doyoung had a gathering with the colleagues he was closer to and I was invited too. Mark got really drunk and I offered to drive him home, that’s when he started telling me about his work. About how he already almost got fired twice, because his information wasn’t good enough or it was lacking. And because I was always seeking new experiences and new adventures, I proposed to help him. Of course, he’d have to pay me, but I’d stalk the targets for as long as he’d need me to. Until all information that was needed was gathered for him, which he could turn into a report and pass onto the higherups. He accepted without a second thought in his drunken haze and I was beyond happy; but I asked him to keep it a secret, especially from Doyoung. If my brother were to find out, he’d definitely either lock me up in our basement or send me back home, both were things I wouldn’t be able to survive. And being in this city was good for me, it was big enough that it distracted me from my other issues. Back in my hometown, everyone knew almost everyone and it was too easy to find someone you wanted to know. Which was bad for me, bad for someone who had stalking tendencies. That’s why I have been working with Mark for a year now, I was just too good, no one ever discovered me or my identity. I knew how to stay low-key and I knew how to work around the targets without them noticing that someone was trailing them almost 24/7. Having this job, it distracted me from getting infatuated with anyone, I didn’t have the time anymore. And it was a lot more thrilling to be trailing different people each month. It was a distraction from the dark voices in my head, which tried telling me that the next man that appeared around the corner could have been the love of my life. Or the woman that I ran into at the flower shop, could have been my soulmate. I hated those thoughts, and I battled with them my whole life. I used to take medication, it silenced them while I was a teen, but it still didn’t stop me from stalking others. So, as I grew older, I stopped taking them and I started spending more time in nature, where I was alone. Photography wasn’t just a job for me, it was my own therapy.

           Everything was set up perfectly, I grinned widely as I leaned back in my seat. My bag was on the chair next to me, the camera placed on the table. For this to work, I needed as many people as there were inside the Coffee Shop to see it. Thankfully, traffic wasn’t bad and I got here five minutes before the target. I sat close to the exit, from where I could see the whole shop well and could run away too if something happened. The target too was really transparent, he sat at the same table he’s been sitting at for the past week. Next to the big windows, behind his table there were a bunch of plants decorating the place and a painting of flowers was hung above it. Which was perfect for me, my plan was coming together. The target has already ordered his coffee, so now it was my time to do something. I took my wallet and walked up to the barista, having hung the camera around my neck. The weight of it was comforting, having worn it for so long, that it became something familiar. I smiled at the barista and looked over the menu behind her, acting like I was thinking of what I wanted, offering her enough time to take in my attire closely.

“I’ll have Caramel Macchiato.” Finally, I told her and she nodded, returning the smile, as I handed her the money.

“A name?” I was glad this wasn’t the barista who took my orders the other times, I didn’t want them to recognize me. I wouldn’t come to this Coffee Shop either way anymore after I was done with this job.

“Y/N.” I answered the barista and she nodded, passing the cup with my name written on it, to her colleague. She printed the receipt and handed it to me, her eyes falling onto my camera. As there was no customer behind me at the moment, she looked at me curiously.

“You’re a photographer?” She asked as the coffee brewer started making loud noises.

“A nature photographer!” I told her with excitement and the barista nodded her head, offering me a friendly smile.

“I tried it once, it wasn’t made for me.” We chuckled at her words and I just shrugged.

“It requires patience and technique, for sure.” I said and she nodded her head in agreement, “By the way…this floral arrangement—”

And then I turned my body sideways, eyes falling on the target. He was just a few feet away, I made sure to speak even louder, so that he would hear me, “The floral arrangement is so pretty! Do you mind if I take pictures of it?”

The barista thought about it as my drink was done and handed to me by the other worker, “I don’t think it’s a problem, go ahead!”

“Thank you!” I bowed my head a little and she bid me farewell. My plan was working, I just needed to do one more thing. So, with the most innocent expression I could muster up, I approached the target. I knew he heard the conversation between me and the barista, but I wanted to make sure he understood what I was about to do.

“Sir, excuse me—” I spoke softly, almost shyly, “Do you mind if I take pictures of this floral arrangement? You won’t be in frame at all.”

“Go ahead.” He answered me with a very uninterested shrug, the wrinkles around his eyes made him look older than the age Mark told me. I bowed my head and placed my Caramel Macchiato on top of his table, turning on my camera. I kneeled on one knee and started snapping photos of the plants, pursing my lips, trying to get the perfect angle. Then I rose to my feet, and took another one, the painting above it being included in the shot too.

“I’ll take some more from my own table, just letting you know…” I spoke up again, but the man wasn’t paying attention to me. I smirked a little, grabbing my drink from his table, cradling it in both of my hands. With a victorious look on my face, I turned with enthusiasm and took a step forward blindly. My body slammed into another body, and we both yelped loudly. Mine was high pitched, but the other one was deep and almost guttural. My heart started thumping in my chest loudly, taken aback by the accident, and hopeful that I didn’t spill my drink on my favorite sweater nor on the person I ran into.

“I’m so—” But when I looked up, I was left breathless. The man standing in front of me was frowning, looking over himself, to check if anything got spilled on him. Thankfully, the lid of the drink was put on really well and the way I was holding the cup stopped it from spilling out. The thumping of my heart became deafening and all I could see suddenly was the man standing in front of me.

He’s the one. Don’t let him slip past your fingertips.

The dark voice, however, quickly snapped me out of the state I almost got lost in. The target, I’m here on a very serious mission, Mark’s counting on me. But the man’s eyes would be forever ebbed inside my mind, I knew I would think about his sharp, fox like eyes before going to sleep tonight…or every night. Round glasses sat on his long nose and he pushed them up with his long fingers, they almost fell off at the impact. When his lips started moving, all I could see was the redness of them and how deep his Cupid’s bow was. Then I snapped out of it, eyebrows furrowing as I totally missed what he just said.

“Uh—I’m really sorry.” I said awkwardly, stepping back when I realized how close our bodies were to each other.

“It’s fine, you didn’t spill any on me…or you.” His eyes went to the sweater I was wearing for a second before he looked back up. His deep voice sent goosebumps down my skin and I very visibly shivered, but I wasn’t cold. The dark blue hoodie this handsome stranger wore seemed to be alright.

“Yeah, I didn’t spill it…” My mind felt like it was made out of gum, I had no coherent thoughts and it made me feel awkward. Taking a last glance at the handsome stranger, noting how his black hair was clumsily parted above his left eye, I bowed, and then willed myself to move away.

He’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

I walked back to my table and took a seat, taking a deep breath in. I can’t let myself get distracted. I run into strangers all the time; this handsome, deep voiced man wasn’t different at all. I couldn’t let the voices get to me, I had to focus on the target. So, I took a big gulp of my Caramel Macchiato and then looked at the target. He was tapping the table almost nervously, so I turned on my camera again and took two pictures of him, then one of the floral arrangement to make sure it didn’t look suspicious. I looked around the Coffee Shop and my eyes fell on the handsome stranger, who was laughing with the barista. What could they have been talking about? The jingling of the door snapped me out of my own thoughts and I watched as a tall woman, wearing a business suit, walked inside. Her hair was in a low ponytail and she looked fairly young, I almost lost interest in her, but then she sat across from the target. I took another picture of the floral arrangement and then snapped a bunch of pictures of the two, making sure the woman’s face could be seen well in all. There was movement in the corner of my eyes and I saw the stranger sitting at a table close to the front desk.

You should snap a picture of him too.

I cleared my throat and took another sip of my drink, the target and the young woman got up from their table, and I quickly went to grab my bag and pushed my camera inside. As I stood up, a name was called.

“Wonwoo?” And I saw the handsome stranger stand up and walk up to the barista to take his drink. Wonwoo, that’s his name. But I shook my head and waved at the barista with a cheerful smile as I quickly left the Coffee Shop, eyes narrowing to see the couple. To my luck, they were walking on the other side of the road, so I remained on this side and fished out my camera.

So, you’ll leave Wonwoo for that pathetic old man and the woman? He’s not more important?

I shook my head and snapped a few pictures as I walked on the sidewalk, getting to a cross. I crossed the road and cursed when they disappeared around the corner, I had to speed up; and threw the cup in the trash bin as I have finished my drink. I looked around once I turned the corner and panicked for a second, thinking I lost the target. But suddenly, I spotted them sitting on a bench in the park, so I headed that way. I started taking pictures of the river and the few birds sitting by the shore, then of the trees that have blossomed already. The white cherry blossoms were beautiful and I smiled to myself as a light breeze brushed my hair. Then I willed myself to focus again and turned the camera towards the target and the woman, who had decided to take a walk. There was a decent distance between them and I, and to anyone else, it would look like I’m taking pictures of the nature; which I was still kind of doing. The couple walked around for at least five minutes, and I decided to sit on a bench and watch them from there, putting on my shades as the sun was directly in front of me. I was just about to snap a picture of a little duck family, but the woman leaned in towards the target and I quickly started snapping pictures of them. It looked like she whispered something in his ear and then a kiss was pressed against the target’s cheek and the woman walked the opposite way they have come in. I snapped pictures of her alone too before turning back towards the target, who was on his phone. He was on the other side of the river, and I couldn’t have reached him in time, or follow him, my car was ten minutes away from here. So, I just continued snapping more pictures, and my eyebrows furrowed when someone got into the frame. The black hair covered the side of the picture, and I moved a little to the left, leaning against the trunk of a tree. I snapped pictures of the license plate and of the target as he got inside the car, seeing someone already inside of it. I smirked to myself as the car drove away and pulled my phone out, going to my contacts. I pressed the icon next to the name ‘Money Bag’ and it dialed the number.

“Anything?” Mark picked up on the first ring.

“A young chick showed up, but they split up and I lost both. My car wasn’t close enough.”

“That’s fine, where are you now?”

“At the park, by the river.”

“Okay, meet me in front of the town hall.” I hung up and placed everything inside my bag as I started walking back to my car, enjoying the weather and the warm sunlight. Spring was finally around the corner, it was the perfect time to snap pictures of nature, or at least, my favorite time. As a second thought, I took my camera into my hands and turned it on, curious of how the nature pictures turned out. I scrolled past the ones of the target and woman, and chuckled when the one with the ducks came into view. They were cute, people would like this. As I continued looking through the pictures, the ones where someone got into them, made me frown. I was about to delete them, but my finger paused. Black hair, sharp jaw, long nose, round glasses.

You know you can’t delete it. You can’t fight the urge, can’t you? Wonwoo’s the one, listen to us!

           The town hall wasn’t far from the park, so I didn’t bother driving there. Besides, I liked taking walks. It helped with calming me, even though I was desperately in need of a run right now. After waking up, Doyoung and I go straight for a run, but I slept in this morning and I’m sure Doyoung woke up later too as he worked until late last night. He said his boss, Sana, was making him work extra hours because she was sniffing around a very powerful mafia leader. I was aware of the illegal things some people did, sometimes the people I had to stalk for Mark weren’t the brightest, I was well aware of that, but I was never offered information about them. It was Mark’s way of protecting me from harm, which I didn’t think did much. If I was caught, they wouldn’t care if I knew or not things about them, I probably would have been still tortured. Which is why I asked Mark to keep the details to himself, if I knew that I was stalking a mafia leader or some other gang member, I probably would’ve been too scared to go through with the procedure.  

I was shifting my weight from one leg to another as I stood waiting around for Mark, pouting when I looked down at my wrist watch. I’ve been standing here for ten minutes; I was becoming really bored. I took my phone and sent a text to Doyoung, checking up on him.

From Doyoung: Just had my lunch break, I’ll be heading back to work. It’s possible I’ll be back late once again.

To Doyoung: No problem, I’ll leave some dinner for you.

From Doyoung: What are you up to?

To Doyoung: I’ll be going for a run in a few minutes, see you at home!

From Doyoung: Take care of yourself!

I smiled and as I looked up, Mark was walking towards me. I started waving at him with a big grin, my phone almost fell from my grip, but I managed to steady it. Mark was wearing dark jeans and a black hoodie, with a black baseball cap on his head. If this was him trying to be casual, he was failing.

“Stop drawing attention to us!” He said with a hiss as he came to a stop in front of me and I frowned.

“That’s not how you should treat someone so important to your team.” I said and Mark rolled his eyes, extending one hand. He was gripping some cash and I took it with a grin, quickly placing it inside my bag.

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” I said teasingly and Mark rolled his eyes again, I handed him the memory card, “Take good care of it! And don’t delete the other pictures I took; some came out really well!”

“I won’t.” He said with a grin and then looked down at the card, “Your job is done here, wait until I contact you again. You could go on a vacation or something.”

I laughed quietly, giving Mark a look, “Yes, captain, I might just do that.”

Mark shook his head before taking off with a wave, I waved back and then turned to walk inside the second-hand shop. I greeted the lady and told her I just wanted to change inside the cabin, so she left me alone. I changed my normal attire into my running one. Yoga pants and adidas, a black top with a fluffy hoodie over it. I pulled my hair in a low bun and stuffed everything inside my big bag, it’s why I carried it around. Random runs were the best, always exciting as I never knew where I felt like going for one. I smiled at the lady from front desk as I left the shop, heading for my car. The walk was quick because I tried to hurry up, excited to go for the run. Once I got to my car, I placed my bag inside and then locked it, having my phone and keys in the pocket of the hoodie. I headed back to the park where I took the pictures of the target and woman, and first did a little warm up. I stretched my legs out and back a little, and then started running. I took steady breaths as I ran down the path, my pace not very fast but not slow either. My heartrate picked up as I continued running and I marveled in the peace around me. The scenery brought a smile onto my lips as I ran past some couples; I willed my mind to stop thinking. It was a hard thing to do at first, I was always thinking of something, but I had to learn due to the dark voices that would sometimes push me into doing things. I could ignore them, now better than when I was younger, but it was still difficult. The problem was, they could drive me crazy, I couldn’t ignore them forever, and in times like those, I would disappear. Doyoung hated it when I did that, but I haven’t had an episode like that in long.

But you can’t stop thinking about Wonwoo. You want him, you know it. You can’t lock us away anymore, Y/N, we are here. Wonwoo wants you too. Didn’t you see the way he looked at you? He fell for you, Y/N, listen to us once again. Do it. Just ask Mark. He’ll find him in a second for you. You didn’t delete his picture; you have his name—

A loud shout left my lips as I tumbled over some rocks that were on the path, but thankfully I didn’t fall. My eyebrows furrowed as I crouched down to hug my knees against my chest. I can’t let the voices get to me. I can’t let one stranger fuck up what I built up with so much struggle. I couldn’t let a stranger rule my life. I wouldn’t let the voices get to me, no matter what. I was stronger than that. With a deep breath, chest rising and falling quickly, I turned around and started running back. The energy burst I had this morning seemed to have disappeared, which was a good sign. I would have to take a bath at home and then cook some dinner, edit the pictures I took today after Mark drops off the memory card and post them on my blog. Well, that settles it then, I smiled as I came to the end of the path. I slowed down to a walk and took deep breaths, leveling my breathing. I turned to walk on the sidewalk and felt the breeze brush my hair once again, making me shiver a little bit. My body was warm from the run and I concluded that sitting inside my warm car while I was sweaty was probably a better idea than spending more time outside, in the cold breezy weather. But my mind went numb when I saw the black-haired man sitting on a bench with a book in his hands. My feet were still moving, but it felt like I wasn’t in control of it anymore. The Universe was really testing me today. I bit my lower lip and unconsciously grabbed my phone inside my pocket.

No, the Universe is doing for you what you didn’t want to do, Y/N. He’s right there, sitting on that bench, waiting for you. How could you let this opportunity slip past your fingertips? You want it, so do it.

I didn’t realize it until it was too late, my finger had already pressed the button, a picture of Wonwoo having been taken. I hated myself for doing it, but it felt like all stress finally left my body. I felt at ease, I wasn’t fighting with my thoughts anymore, with the dark voices. In the end, I really didn’t have a choice but to fall back into my old habits. And I was doing so well, until Wonwoo showed up. What will Doyoung think if he finds out? I can’t be sent to a psychic ward again, it wouldn’t help. They never help; I hate the medication they give me. I can survive without them too. Maybe if I stalk him for a week or two, I can get rid of the voices and go back to how I was before meeting him. But I pressed the button again, another picture snapped of Wonwoo. I wasn’t walking anymore, I was rooted in one place, mouth hanging open as I gazed at Wonwoo in awe. I must have looked hilarious, crazy even, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t look away; I couldn’t even move. But then suddenly, he didn’t flip the page of the book like he was planning to do, instead, he looked up. And his eyes fell on me, as if he felt that I was looking at him, and I jumped. His furrowed eyebrows snapped me out of my delirium, his sharp gaze sent a shiver down my spine and suddenly I found myself running away. I didn’t care what he thought, I was ashamed that I let the voices control me; it was time I headed home. It would be safer for everyone else if I just stayed at home.

That’s our girl, you’re doing amazing.

           The first thing I did once I got home was clean the house, my blood was boiling as I lost grip of the voices, which kept celebrating for I have taken those two pictures of Wonwoo in the park. In that rage, I deleted them from my phone and threw my phone in the trash bin I had in my room, slamming the door shut as I went to the bathroom to grab what I needed to clean the house. I turned on music, played it loudly too, blocking out the noises coming from outside, but the voices in my mind too. Due to my rage, I was done in almost two hours, it usually would take longer if someone tried to clean the house alone, we had a lot of stuff despite it not being a big house. Once I calmed down, I went to the kitchen and made some ramen, sweet potatoes made in the oven, and some seasoned pork. I went and bought beer for Doyoung and myself, and after putting them in the fridge, I decided to check my phone to see if anyone tried looking for me. It was six in the afternoon and I hoped Doyoung didn’t think that I was kidnapped…well, he’d actually know that. For my own safety, he installed an app on my phone that could track me. I only accepted it because I knew he worried a lot about me, Doyoung and I had a strong bond and the episodes I had always broke him mentally, I tried to be a better person for him too.

From Doyoung: I don’t think the ramens in the cupboard are still edible. Text me if you get home!

To Doyoung: Well, I cooked those ramens, so now they are edible! Sorry, I cleaned the house so I wasn’t around my phone…

From Doyoung: Cleaned the house? Are you feeling alright?

I chuckled at the fast reply, no surprise Sana made him stay plus hours if he hung on his phone while on duty.

To Doyoung: Don’t worry, I’m feeling perfectly fine! I hope Sana pays you well if you stay after working hours!

From Doyoung: Don’t worry about that, she stays with me.

To Doyoung: Oh! Someone’s getting it!

I laughed as Doyoung started typing back, imagining his angry and flustered face.

From Doyoung: Don’t be silly, Y/N!

To Doyoung: Okay, bye!

I laughed as I walked to the bathroom, turning on the warm water to have a bath. After the long day I had today, I deserved a warm, relaxing bath. I got a message from Mark, a thumbs up, and I knew the memory card was in the mailbox, so I quickly jumped into some shoes and ran outside to retrieve it. I locked the front gate, Doyoung had keys too, and then hurried back inside the house. I placed the memory card on my desk and then proceeded to undress while walking back to the bathroom. I turned the faucet off and threw some bath salts into the water, pulling my hair in a high bun. I shut the blinds of the bathroom and sighed, biting my lower lip. Would it be so bad if I asked Mark to look up Wonwoo a little bit? I wouldn’t try to do anything, I just wanted to know him better? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, right? I picked up my phone reluctantly as I sat on the side of the bathtub, easing my legs into the water. I went to my gallery and to the pictures I deleted, they didn’t get instantly deleted from my phone, they were stored there for another month before finally getting deleted off the device. I selected the two pictures of Wonwoo and sent them to Mark.

To Mark: His name is Wonwoo. Remember that favor you have going on? Return it by looking this guy up.

I threw the phone onto the clothing pile that was on the ground by the bathtub and lowered myself into the water, feeling bad that I couldn’t resist the urge. It was too easy with Mark, when I was a teenager, I would do everything by myself. It was thrilling to run after someone, watch them from a distance not knowing if they would notice you or not. And if they indeed noticed you, you could always play it off somehow. But this was safer, I couldn’t risk falling back into my old habits. It was like gambling or drugs…you needed rehabilitation from it, but the yearning never really goes away. I hated myself for doing this, but without the medication I so refused to take, I wasn’t strong enough. I wouldn’t admit that to others or myself, living in a lie was always easier. But tonight, I would allow myself to live in a fantasy.

·       Name: Jeon Wonwoo

·       Birth date: 1996. 07.17.

·       Height: 1,82 m

·       Siblings: Kim Mingyu, apparently they are both adopted

·       Job: Chauffeur of a business man

·       Places he’s frequently seen at: National library, Sunday Gym, Red Corner bookstore, various parks around his neighborhood, hiking trails around the forest, Soul BBQ, Sky Blue headquarters

·       Car: red Mercedes CLS class

·       Additional things I found about him: It seems like he has thirteen close friends, he lives with his adopted brother; but I couldn’t find the address anywhere. Surveillance cameras say that he usually goes to read in the park, by the river, and he drinks a lot of coffee. I’m pretty sure he wears glasses, but there’s few pictures of him wearing it. I’m sorry, Y/N, for some reason this is everything I could find about him. He’s got a clean record, and even the little information I gave you I could barely find. Something’s fishy, but maybe he really isn’t that interesting. I wouldn’t bother with someone like him. P.S. Don’t tell anyone I helped you gain information on him, they’ll fire me!

       The birds chirping were the first thing I heard as I woke up, then the hurried knocks on my door. I groaned loudly, voice hoarse from having just woken up, and the knocking stopped.

“Get up, it’s almost 9 am!” Doyoung’s voice called from the other side of the door and I sighed, burying my head in my pillow, “I’m heading in to work later. I can drive you to wherever you want to go, if you want me to.”

That definitely got my attention as I raised my head, “Okay!”

I cleared my throat and jumped up into a seated position, looking around my bed. Printed pictures lingered scattered around the blanket and my laptop was on the verge of falling off, so I grabbed it and got out of bed. I walked to my desk and placed it on top of it, leaning against the edge of the glass. I looked down at the pictures that were on my bed and decided, that I would do this. I stayed up until late night to research myself as much as I could about Wonwoo, but he had no social media. I found a few yearbook photos of him, but they didn’t help with much. Mark was right, he seemed to be a very boring person…he almost felt like a ghost, like his real identity was buried deep down. And that was exciting, so, if Doyoung had already offered to give me a lift, I could just head to the Red Corner bookstore and check it out for myself. Hopefully, Wonwoo would be there. I still don’t know his schedule, but if I start lurking around the places Mark told me about, I can very easily follow Wonwoo around once he shows up.

After having breakfast with Doyoung, we both got dressed and I gave him instructions to the Red Corner bookstore and we were off, rolling down the busy streets of the city. My fingers were tapping against my knees in excitement as I tried to stay still, trying not to alert Doyoung that I was feeling excited about something. But he was my brother, and he noticed.

“I didn’t know going to a bookstore could make you excited.” He raised an eyebrow and I chuckled, shaking my head.

“It’s not that, I’m just in a good mood!” I tried to lie, but Doyoung just shook his head; I knew he didn’t believe me.

“So…now you suddenly like to read?” He asked with a teasing grin and I scoffed, turning to look at him.

“What do you mean?” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “I always liked to read!”

“Fashion magazines, maybe.” I huffed and it made Doyoung laugh as he drove through an intersection. Once Doyoung was done laughing, he cleared his throat and briefly glanced at me.

“You wouldn’t be so excited about books unless you’re stalking someone.” I failed to pick up on the playfulness in his voice, the way he bit his lower lip to try and stay serious. My heart started suddenly beating really fast and my grip tightened around the seatbelt, my whole body became tense. How did he realize? Did he walk inside my room while I was sleeping? Was it something in my words that gave it away? Did I get worse at hiding my feelings? I could feel Doyoung’s gaze on me, but I couldn’t move out of fear. I was scared of what was coming next and ashamed. But then, Doyoung gasped and I had to look at him.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaimed, panic lacing his words, and I became confused, “I didn’t mean to say that—I—I worded that so badly, Y/N—”

“Oh,” I chuckled, trying to collect myself, “No, it was a joke! I totally get it!”

I couldn’t believe I almost gave myself away. He had no idea; he was just teasing me! I chuckled again, feeling at ease as I turned to look at Doyoung again. “Seriously, I totally got your joke!”

“I’m still sorry—” My laughter interrupted Doyoung and he just shook his head, still looking guilty.

“I could become an actress if my reaction made you react like this.” But in truth, my reaction was genuine and I was so thankful that Doyoung didn’t realize that. He could read people very easily, but maybe as he was driving he couldn’t focus fully, which was great for me. Doyoung sighed and he pulled up to the sidewalk, looking at the Red Corner bookstore, which was just across the road. I smiled and unbuckled the seatbelt; I pressed a kiss against Doyoung’s cheek then got out. He offered me a small wave before driving away. I took a deep breath and smiled, looking around the street. It didn’t look like a very busy neighborhood; a few people were walking here and there. To my right there were many narrow alleys that lead to the main road, and I took off down the street. Why would Wonwoo come to a bookstore in this side of the city if he could go to the big one at the mall? Wonderingly, I crossed the street and carefully approached the bookstore. It wasn’t open yet, so I figured I could go to the coffee shop I saw while Doyoung drove us here. The bookstore would only open in half an hour, I still had time. I walked down the street with a skip in my steps, smiling widely. I had a feeling today was going to be a successful day, but for that I needed Mark to leave me alone. I was hoping he wouldn’t get a new case for at least a week, the potentiality of following Wonwoo around without him knowing had me in a very good mood. Sleeping on the choices I took yesterday definitely did well, I wasn’t feeling as bad about as I was yesterday. Yes, it was still wrong what I was doing, but as long as no one got harmed, it wasn’t something very bad!

I entered the coffee shop and walked to the front desk, ordering my usual drink of choice. When it was done, I walked to a table and took a seat, it was by the window, and took a sip of the Caramel Macchiato. I watched the people who passed by and took another sip, relaxing in the chair, feeling content. The melody playing in the shop was pleasant and I bobbed my head to the rhythm. The bell chimed and I watched the beautiful girl that walked in, her hair was dark brown and wavy. She had bangs and she was tall, definitely a beauty.

You could follow her too, she’s your type. If Wonwoo backfires, you have an alternative.

I almost laughed out loud at the words whispered to me by the dark voices, feeling truly entertained. It was so easy to find someone, like I said, it could be literally anyone. If I found them attractive, nothing was stopping me from stalking them. But I shook my head, took another sip of the drink, and ignored the voices. I wouldn’t let them take full control over me. And as the beautiful girl waited at the front desk, my back straightened as a very familiar red Mercedes came into view. It was Wonwoo’s car. My heart started thumping quickly and for a second I didn’t know what do to, so I relaxed into the seat, trying to stay low-key. The beautiful girl saw my sudden reaction and she looked at me concerned, but I just smiled at her, trying to show her that I was fine. When she turned her back on me, I grabbed my phone and quickly went to the camera, snapping a picture through the window. Wonwoo couldn’t be seen, all windows of the car were tinted, but he didn’t get out. I quickly locked my phone when I heard the heels of the girl getting closer as she walked by me and I waited patiently until she was out of the shop before I sprung onto my feet. My knees accidentally knocked into the table and it took the barista off guard, I hurriedly went up to her and handed back the now empty glass, thanking her for her services. She gave me a funny look but I ignored her as I almost ran out of the coffee shop.

“Bye!” I called to her with a wave before exiting, and stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. Wonwoo’s car was still there, but I didn’t know if he was in there or not, so walking up to it would have been too risky.

Oh, here comes the fun we’ve been all missing.

My whole body was shaking in excitement as I thought of my next move, deciding to walk by the bookstore. I could peek inside and see if Wonwoo was in there or not, the windows were big enough to see everything from the outside. So, I started moving, fingers tapping against my palm anxiously, heart thumping wildly. This was always exciting, but also nerve wrecking. I had to move without being seen…or recognized. But, I was sure Wonwoo had already forgotten my face, I was just an ordinary, clumsy girl who almost spilled her coffee on him.

No, the image of your face has been forever printed into his mind, Y/N. He’s watching you, just like you are watching him.

I stopped walking, the woman behind me almost ran into me as she was taken off by my sudden lack of movement. She gave me a glare, but I ignored her. I was right in front of the bookstore and my heart was beating even faster. What did the voices mean? Does Wonwoo know that I’m stalking him? That can’t possibly be true…why would he…

Are you the only person that stalks in this world?

I shook my head and closed my eyes for a second, trying to block the voices. The thought of that creeped me out and I didn’t want to think about being possibly stalked. Then I mustered the courage and looked inside, seeing two girls at the front desk. No trace of Wonwoo, however, as I looked around the place. Not wanting to draw too much attention to myself, I walked by and rounded the corner, leaning against the red cobblestone wall. Well, if Wonwoo wasn’t inside, he must still be in his car. Which is bad, because Doyoung drove me here. I didn’t think I’d have success on my first day of keeping my eyes on him, so I didn’t find coming with a car necessary. But now, I regretted my decision. With a sigh, I took my phone in my hand and was about to search for a cab, but then I heard laughter. Deep laughter. Coming from around the corner. My heart skipped a beat as I peeked around the corner, he was standing there. Wearing light blue jeans and a turtleneck, his dark hair in his eyes and round glasses sitting high up on the bridge of his nose. I quietly exhaled, taken by the sight in front of me. Wonwoo laughed again, his voice was still deep, his laughter was short but warm. The way his lips pulled up into a huge smile it melted away the cold expression I’ve seen him have in the pictures I found of him. His eyes didn’t look as menacing anymore. Not even realizing that I was doing it, I snapped a few pictures, hopeful that I caught his smiling face. But he was with the beautiful girl, and she was touching his arm. So then does Wonwoo have a girlfriend? And it’s the beautiful girl from the coffee shop? It isn’t impossible.

You could have both…or you could get rid of one…

“Shut up!” I hissed, and quickly ducked back behind the red cobblestone wall, scared that they heard me. They were a good distance away, and there was noise on the street, but I could never be too sure. I hated the dark voices, especially when they suggested getting rid of someone. I could never do it; I didn’t want to. I would go too low, I would disappoint Doyoung so much. If I killed someone, he’d be the one putting me behind bars. I didn’t want to see the pain on his face, pain I caused for him. I didn’t want him to suffer or worry for me anymore, he’s had enough of it while we were still young kids.

The slamming of the bookstore door snapped me out of my thoughts and nervously, I peeked around the corner again, seeing Wonwoo walking away. He was headed towards his car, so I didn’t bother following him at first, but when he went past it without getting in, I grinned. He wasn’t leaving just yet, that means I can follow him around! Fixing my hair and keeping my phone in my hand for comfort, I took off after Wonwoo, keeping a safe distance between us.

And I had a very successful day. Wonwoo stayed in the neighborhood for three hours, just walking around. I snapped plenty of pictures of him, ones I would have to copy on my laptop the second I got home and delete them off my phone. He did go and had breakfast at a tiny local restaurant, which had amazing food by the way. They had some traditional cake that I haven’t eaten before, and I made a mental note to return there from time to time. Maybe with Doyoung, he’s always had a sweet tooth. Then Wonwoo went for a short walk in the park, before he went back to the bookstore. He came out with a book and then went behind the bookstore, to a playground, sat underneath a big willow tree and read. For two hours, he didn’t move from there. His hair was moved by the breeze from time to time, his lips pursed sometimes, and eyebrows furrowed every once in a while. His glasses kept falling off and he had to push them up every five minutes. I’m assuming when something was interesting or tense, he’d bite his lip or thumb, eyes running over quickly the words on the white pages. I took a picture and I was able to see the title of the book, ‘I’ll be gone in the dark’. So, he was into crime books, I looked up and smiled in his direction. He just became more and more mysterious. I was aching to know who he truly was, what he truly liked, I was yearning to hear his beautiful laughter again. And as if Wonwoo finally noticed that someone was watching him, he looked up. And he looked at me. We made eye contact, my heart started beating like crazy, my hands shook.

What will you do now Y/N? Isn’t this just thrilling?

But suddenly a tap on my knee made me jump. I looked down confused and saw a little boy grinning up at me. My eyebrows rose as I watched him; he had his hands behind his back.

“Hello?” I asked confused, glancing around to see if he was with anyone. A couple elderly people were by the entrance of the playground, chatting. He was probably with one of them.

“Hi!” The boy said shyly and I offered him a warm smile.

“Can I help you? Are you lost?” I asked him, making sure that he wasn’t here alone.

“No.” He shook his head with a chuckle, then looked down. I chuckled and looked at him confused; he was shifting his weight from one leg to another.

“You’ve been sitting here for a long time,” He suddenly said as he looked back at me, “Aren’t you cold?”

I didn’t know how to answer him, he took me off guard. What was a little boy doing, talking to a stranger?

“My jacket is thick, I’m not cold—”

“Do you like that man?” When the little boy suddenly pointed at Wonwoo, my heart jumped into my throat. I was praying he wasn’t looking my way anymore, and thankfully; he wasn’t. Actually, he was gone. Disappointment settled in and my eyebrows furrowed as I looked around, trying to spot him.

“He’s gone.” I whispered, standing up abruptly. My legs were sore, my ass actually hurt. I should have moved around, not sat there unmoving for two hours straight.

“This is for you.” The little boy chuckled and I looked back down at him; he was holding a little white flower. I took it from him confused, but he just grinned at me and then ran off. What a strange encounter that was. But after that, I went back to the bookstore, and Wonwoo’s car was gone. He had left. That meant I was done for the day, he could’ve been anywhere, and I was actually really cold. So, I called a cab and went home, changed and then went for a long run. I needed to clear my mind, block the voices that were so violently trying to dictate me my next move. I wouldn’t let them rule over me, I was the one in charge of myself and my actions.

After I got home, I showered and cooked some dinner, then I sat in the living room with the TV on as I copied all the pictures I took of Wonwoo onto my laptop. My cheeks felt warm as I looked at them again. I printed two, one where Wonwoo was smiling and one while he was sitting underneath the tree. The breeze had picked up and his hair was blown all around, he was pushing up his glasses, his lips in a tight line. The pictured offered me calmness and as I was looking at it, the front door got unlocked. Franticly, I closed my laptop and threw the two pictures into the folder I was using to store everything I had on Wonwoo. Doyoung looked tired as he walked inside and I was standing very awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

“Hi!” I called out loudly and he looked up, taken aback by my presence there.

“Uh, hi.” He greeted back, giving me a questioning look but I just giggled.

“I cooked dinner!” I tried to diffuse the awkwardness and Doyoung started grinning.

“Thank God, I didn’t have lunch today, I’m starving!” He said as he pushed his shoes off.

“It’s important to have lunch.” I said as I walked to the fridge, taking out the food I had prepared.

“Yeah, but according to Sana, so is raiding the Sky-Blue headquarters.” Doyoung said defeated and my eyebrows furrowed. Where have I heard that name before?

“Why? What’s there?” I asked curiously as Doyoung took off towards his room.

“The mafia Sana is sniffing around.” And with that he went inside his room to change and come to have dinner. But the report from Mark said that Wonwoo frequents that place often. Why? Does he maybe know there’s a mafia inside there? Or is he oblivious to it?

And you thought he was boring? Aren’t things getting more and more interesting?

“How was your day?” I slammed the plates on the table and it made Doyoung wince. I gave him an apologetic grin as I placed two forks and some napkins too next to the plates.

“Uneventful,” I said with a sigh, going to the living room to grab my stuff, “I’ll be right back, I’ll just put these in my room.”

Doyoung hummed as he took a seat at the table, placing food on his plate. I hurried to my room, clutching the file tightly to make sure it wouldn’t open and free its contents onto the floor as I carried the laptop in my other hand. I entered my room and went towards my desk, placing my laptop on top of it. The file I placed on a shelf of my bookcase and as I was about to leave I noticed how the temperature was a bit colder than in the other rooms. Looking around, I noticed my window was slightly open and with a sigh, I went and closed it and locked it. It wasn’t unlike me to forget to close it back if I happened to open it up. And just as I turned around to leave the room for good, my eyes stopped on my nightstand. Five white lilies were placed in a tall glass with water. I remained rooted to the spot, warmness spreading in my chest. It’s been long since I got flowers from someone. How did Doyoung get these in here without me noticing the flowers when he got inside the house? I chuckled and shook my head as I went to have dinner, stomach churning loudly. It felt nice to get flowers. Even if they were from my brother.

           I should have taken Mark’s offer and went on that vacation he proposed, but my mind wouldn’t let me do that. I had a new mission, and it was following Wonwoo around. For a whole week I was vigilant enough that he didn’t notice me and now I knew his habits. In the mornings, he’d take that beautiful girl to the bookstore and then go buy himself coffee. Sometimes he’d go back to that park and read for a few hours, other times he’d leave and go to the gym. He would spend a lot of time at the Sky-Blue headquarters and drive his boss to less or more sketchy places. His boss was Kim Mingyu, it crossed my mind to research him too and follow him around for a day or two, but he was giving me bad vibes. When I trailed after Wonwoo’s car when he was with Mingyu, I felt like the two knew I was there. Sometimes, they’d drive around in the same neighborhood twice and I would have to take different turns in order to make it seem like I wasn’t following them…but it almost always led me to lose them. After Wonwoo was done with his work, he’d go to the national library and spend hours there, so much, that I was starting to worry that he’d fall ill from not eating and drinking enough. In fact, he barely ate anything all day, maybe he did it somehow when I wasn’t watching, otherwise I can’t explain how he remained energetic and standing for the whole day. On the third day of watching him, I decided to enter the library myself and try and find a book that I would enjoy. He switched from the book he was reading to a different one, in fact, every day he read something different. It was confusing, and I was dying to ask him why…but the right moment hadn’t come for it yet. One day, I got so immersed in my own book that I totally forgot about keeping my eyes on Wonwoo too and when I looked up from my book, Wonwoo was gone from his usual spot. I looked around a little too frantically, my knees bouncing fast. I waited for two more minutes before I sprung up onto my feet and took off towards the section I took the book I was reading from. I heard hushed laughter coming from nearby but I was busy trying push the book back in its place, so busy, that I totally missed the deep tone of the laughter. When I finally had the book in its original place, I turned and took off pretty much running, which led me into stumbling forward as my shoes got caught in the carpet. I gasped and ran into the bookshelves in front of me, barely catching myself from falling.

“Are you alright?” A feminine voice asked, and as I turned to answer them, my heart stopped beating. The woman was standing next to Wonwoo and they were both looking at me confused and concerned. I gulped and suddenly my throat was dry as my eyes jumped from the woman to Wonwoo and then back at the woman and then again to Wonwoo. I was waiting for him to point at me and yell that I’m a psycho stalker, but he just looked confused and I quietly sighed.

“Yeah, sorry!” I said awkwardly and bowed my head quickly before turning around and running away embarrassed. It was good that Wonwoo had no recollection of my face, it means that he didn’t pay much attention to me at the Coffee Shop and he also didn’t know that I was pretty much stalking him. As much as stalking Wonwoo made my week better and definitely uplifted my mood, the highlight of my week were the daily white lilies I was finding in my room each evening. I didn’t know how Doyoung was doing it, I could swear I saw him enter empty handed each evening, but maybe he was turning into a magician and was trying his tricks out on me. I didn’t say anything to him, wanting to act oblivious to his nice act if he wouldn’t say something first. But I had my concerns regarding Wonwoo and the relationship between him and the beautiful girl from the bookstore. She worked there and seeing them each morning together gave me the impression that they were on really good terms…possibly even dating, even though I’ve only seen them hugging. So, for that, to check it myself, I had a plan. I bought a copy of the book I saw Wonwoo reading in the park and one morning, on a Tuesday when I knew Wonwoo wouldn’t be the one giving a lift to the beautiful girl, I headed inside the bookstore.

The bell chimed loudly and it was warm inside. The radio was playing through the speakers at a low volume and the girl I was here for was at the front desk. My eyes fell on her and I noticed how she hasn’t had curly hair ever since that day I saw her in the Coffee Shop. She was concentrated on her phone, smiling as she typed quickly. I cleared my throat and walked up to the front desk, leaning against it. It took her a second to realize that someone was standing there, looking at her.

“Oh, hi!” She had a powerful voice; it didn’t take one long to realize she was a confident person. I smiled at her kindly and tapped my fingers against the counter.

“Hi…” I looked around quickly, feigning nervousness, “I’m sorry to bother you here…”

Then I looked at her name tag and read her name, “Hyemi, pretty name! Anyways…uhm, this book…”

I grabbed it out of my bag and placed it on top of the counter, “Wonwoo borrowed it to me and well…I’ve had it for too long and I want to return it.”

“Oh, you know Wonwoo?” Hyemi’s eyebrows rose as she took the book from me and looked at it, “I’ve seen this one laying around in his house.”

Oh, so she knows where Wonwoo lives. And she was there too. You knew this was coming, Y/N, but are you ready to face the consequences? What if you have to give up both? You can always get rid of one of them…you know it’s not hard…

“I’ve met him at the library, sometimes we talk,” I said with a shrug and took the book back from Hyemi, “he recommended it to me.”

I was hoping she didn’t see the tightness of my jaw as I tried to ignore the evil voices. They were urging me to grab the girl by the hair and drag her away. I couldn’t do that; I wasn’t like that anymore. And nothing was sure yet. They can be friends; friends hang out together in their apartments all the time. I can’t jump to conclusions just yet. And I’ve never seen Wonwoo spend time with her except for when he drops Hyemi off in the mornings.

“He really likes doing that!” Hyemi said with a roll of her eyes and I chuckled, putting the book away.

“He does, but it’s fine, I don’t mind.” She hummed and we looked behind her when there was a click. Another breathtakingly beautiful woman walked into the room and I couldn’t help but gape at her. Her lips were red and her long brown hair was in a low ponytail, eyeliner on her eyelids. She looked amazing, I cleared my throat and quickly read her name tag. Irene.

“Everything alright?” She asked with authority in her voice and I found myself nodding very quickly, but Hyemi just chuckled.

“Yes, I was just talking to—” Then both women looked at me and I was lost for a second, feeling flustered. My fingers tapped against the counter quickly and I realized they were waiting for me to tell them my name.

“Y/N!” I exclaimed and my cheeks became warm, “Uhm, my name is Y/N.”

“Wonwoo borrowed Y/N a book and she wants to return it.” Hyemi said with a smile and Irene hummed, looking me over quickly. Then she offered me a small smile and her stern expression melted away. It eased my nerves a little and I offered her a similar smile.

“Right, so…could you give me his address?” I asked, very innocently, as I looked Hyemi in the eyes. She knows where Wonwoo lives, I’m a little bothered by that but at least now I’ll find out his address too. But her eyebrows furrowed and she looked at me apologetically.

“Sorry, I don’t think I should just tell you that…without Wonwoo’s consent at least—”

“Oh, right!” I exclaimed and looked down embarrassed, “That was really…a dumb request, don’t worry! I totally get it!”

“Not to be mean—”

“No! It’s fine, you’re right!” I waved my hands in the air and Irene chuckled as she watched the exchange between us. I took a step back and played with my fingers as I tried to keep on an embarrassed expression.

“I’ll give it back to him when I meet him at the library.”

“Are you sure? You could give it to me and I’ll—”

“I’m sure.” I interrupted Hyemi and walked backwards towards the door, “Have a nice day, ladies!”

“You too!” Irene called out as Hyemi’s eyebrows furrowed a little bit.

“Bye.” She muttered as I hurried out the door, heart beating fast. What if she realized I was lying? Now all I could hope for was that she wouldn’t tell Wonwoo and throw me off from the progress I’ve been making.

And that day when I arrived home, I found more white lilies sitting on the little table that we had on the front porch. I took them and inhaled their scent, a smile appearing on my lips. And as a breeze passed by, I felt eyes on me. So, I straightened up and looked around, but the fence was high enough that no one would see inside, so I shook the feeling off and unlocked the front door, walking inside the house and headed to the kitchen to take a vase for the new lilies.

           A few days passed since I’ve been to the bookstore and I had realized that I needed a different approach. Yesterday, Hyemi and Wonwoo didn’t show up to the bookstore and as I went on with my day, I found Wonwoo nowhere he’d usually be at. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so, I figured they must have taken a day off. But that thought didn’t sit well with me, so, I decided that it was time I took serious actions. A more straightforward approach. One that would set off the start of something between Wonwoo and I.

I woke up a little earlier than I usually would to be able to get ready. We had only one bathroom, and for once, I put a little effort into my appearance. I usually didn’t doll myself up, but today I wanted to look pretty. So, I put on minimal makeup and decided to be a bit bold and use red lipstick too. I pulled my hair out of my face and clipped the front strands back and then I cooked breakfast for Doyoung and I, wanting to surprise him. He was always the one that got up early and made sure we ate well, but I felt like returning this little favor to him since he’s been bringing me white lilies for almost two weeks now. I even turned his morning alarm off, wanting to give him a little extra time to sleep, which was always welcomed as he worked late and had to wake up really early. After breakfast was ready, I went back to my room to get dressed and spent at least ten minutes thinking of an outfit. In the end, I settled on high waist mom jeans and a long-sleeved colorful crop top as yesterday it was rather warm. Then, I grabbed my bag and went to Doyoung’s room to wake him up. He was in a good mood once I told him I cooked breakfast and that I let him sleep in, his laughter echoed in the house as he told me a funny story that happened at work. Breakfast was pleasant and tasty and once we were done, I didn’t wait for Doyoung, I headed out. I told him that I found a new path in the forest that lead to a beautiful clearing with a spring and that I wanted to take pictures while the sun wasn’t high up in the sky, which unfortunately was a lie. I did find a place like that, but it was last month and I had already taken plenty of pictures of it. But Doyoung didn’t have to know that I was back to stalking again, especially not today, when I was so excited about my plan. Before going to the library, I grabbed a cup of coffee, Americano this time as I didn’t have in mind drinking it and it would’ve been a waste to buy Caramel Macchiato. By the time I got to the library it was nearing noon and I was hopeful that wherever Wonwoo went, he’d be back by today, otherwise, I did all of this for nothing. When I entered, the librarian gave me a glance and her eyebrows furrowed as they fell on my coffee, but I hid it behind my back and offered her a warm smile. She shook her head but didn’t say anything and I bowed my head, hurrying further inside. The coffee wasn’t hot anymore, but it was still warm, at least it wouldn’t burn him. I cleared my throat and took in a deep breath, about to round the corner and head to the reading area. My heart was pounding quickly in my chest and I feared that others would be able to hear it in the calming silence of the library. But as I rounded the corner, my mind went blank.

There he is.

I could feel excitement enter my whole body and my fingers started tapping quickly against the cup of coffee I was holding, I had to force myself to stay as still as I could and not take off towards Wonwoo. He was sitting at his usual spot, in the middle of the area and at the edge of the table. He had a book on the table in front of him, his glasses were close to falling off and his black hair was a bit messy. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a silver necklace hung around his neck. My eyes got glued to his muscly arms as he flipped the page and I gulped, trying to focus on my plan once again.

He is a sight for sore eyes, isn’t he, Y/N? No surprise you can’t handle the thought of someone else having him.

I shook my head a little and then started walking. My heels clicked against the wooden floor, but it was a dull sound, and thankfully Wonwoo didn’t look up. His eyebrows were furrowed as his eyes ran over the words in the book, and he sighed loudly as I got closer and closer. I glanced around, but there weren’t many people, and those who were, they were too busy studying or reading. Knowing that no one was looking my way, I knew what I was about to do wouldn’t look suspicious to anyone. I was two tables away from Wonwoo, and as I was watching him so closely, I noticed the sudden tensity of his muscles. How his palms clenched into fists and it almost looked like he was reading the same thing over and over, but I wouldn’t be actually able to tell that. My plan was to accidentally run into the corner of the table he was sitting at and spill the coffee on him. Like that, I had an excuse to talk to him and hopefully he’d even agree to me buying him a new shirt. I wasn’t able to decipher his personality as he was mostly by himself, but I prayed to every God out there that he’d comply to my wishes. And just as my eyes fixated on the corner of the table, to make sure that the front of my shoe would get stuck in it, Wonwoo abruptly stood up. And I jumped and panicked. The sound his chair made was loud and I lost all train of thought as his eyes fell on me and the heel of my shoe got stuck in the edge of the carpet. And suddenly, I was falling forward, eyes widened in horror. Wonwoo didn’t even blink, he just stood there, looking almost taken aback. And then our bodies collided into each other, and I felt the warm coffee spill not just on his chest, but on my own too. I gasped loudly, Wonwoo remained silent and suddenly I felt the eyes of the people who were around us, on us. Wonwoo was tense as he quickly gripped my forearms to steady me, the empty cup of coffee fell against the ground and I felt like it made the loudest sound I have ever heard. But in reality, it barely even made a thudding sound. My eyes remained wide, heart beating fast as I remained rooted in Wonwoo’s arms.

He smells so good. And his body is so firm. Do you hear how loud his breathing is, Y/N?

The evil voice made me shiver and I sprung out of Wonwoo’s hold, looking at him wide eyed. He looked frozen for a second, but then he lowered his arms, and gulped, glancing down at his damp t-shirt.

“Oh my God,” I muttered, looking down at my own damp shirt, this didn’t go as planned, he was the only one supposed to get coffee spilled on, “I am so sorry!”

My voice was quiet as I tried not to disturb the other people in there and Wonwoo finally looked at me. His sharp eyes offered no warmness and suddenly I felt small under his intense gaze. I felt embarrassed and as if I was caught in the act, but it’s him who stood up. This was supposed to happen differently.

“At least it wasn’t burning hot.” Wonwoo’s deep voice reached my ears and I did everything I could to memorize the deep vibration of it.

“Yeah, I got it a while ago…” I mumbled and looked down embarrassed, unable to maintain his intense eye contact.

“Accidents happen,” I could see him shrug as he ran his hands down his abdomen, “And it’s my fault, I was the one who stood up so abruptly—”

“Oh, no—” I looked up and shook my hands quickly, “I shouldn’t have walked so close to the table, it’s really my fault—”

“Don’t worry about it,” His lips pulled into a small smirk and I knew I was going to blush, “I’m not mad at you.”

My cheeks were hot and I felt at a loss of words all of a sudden, almost forgetting why I even planned on doing this.

“I feel guilty though—” I managed to get out, trying to avoid looking at his lips, “Let me make up for it!”

Someone towards the back of the reading area cleared their throat and I realized I was starting to speak too loudly; my leg was tapping against the wooden floor anxiously. I wanted to insist, but I didn’t know what to say next. I needed Wonwoo to co-operate, but I wasn’t sure he would just yet. His expression didn’t give away anything and I bit my lower lip nervously.

“How can you make up for it?” His eyebrows rose and my heart jumped in my chest.

“Uhm, I—I can just, uh—buy you a new shirt?” I hated myself for stuttering, but this was more nerve wrecking than I remembered it being. Has it been really that long since I’ve done this?

“I have plenty of shirts…” Wonwoo’s deep voice made me look back at him and I tried to stay calm. I couldn’t decipher his expression, but he looked like he was teasing me. I smiled softly and played with my fingers, glancing away from him before looking back.

“The mall is literally across the road…and…if you let me buy you this shirt, you’ll never forget that a stranger spilled their coffee on you on a very nice Wednesday…” Suddenly, all tension left my body when a wide smile appeared on Wonwoo’s lips. For the first time, I noticed how his nose scrunched up when he smiled, and how soft he seemed like this. When Wonwoo smiled, he wasn’t intimidating anymore, it was as if I was looking at a different person. My heart started beating quickly again and I felt at peace as I gaped at him, hopeful that he didn’t find it creepy. If only he knew…

“You might need a new shirt as well…” Wonwoo said once he was done laughing and I looked down at my shirt, eyebrows furrowing. Well yeah…that wasn’t part of the plan.

“If you insist.” I said with a shrug and Wonwoo chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’ll put this book back and then we can go.” Wonwoo said as he closed the book he was reading and picked it up from the table. He gave me a glance before he turned and walked towards the tall bookshelves, disappearing between them. I bit my lower lip, trying to contain my victorious smirk in case Wonwoo returned. I remembered the abandoned cup and turned around to pick it up, chuckling to myself. My plan didn’t work, but worked at the same time. It played out a little different than what I had in mind, but in the end, I still got what I wanted.

“Let’s go?” I turned my head and Wonwoo was by my side, eyebrows raised as his eyes fell on the empty cup. I nodded my head and we took off towards the mall from across the road, about to buy some new shirts.

Once we got to the mall I made Wonwoo choose a shop he likes and I’d buy him a t-shirt from there, only if he likes it, of course. In the end, he lead us to the cheapest shop and said that I should choose something for myself as well and he’ll buy it, because it was his fault too that the coffee was spilled as he got in my way. When he pointed towards the shop and said that he wanted to choose from that one, I gave him a look.

“Are you sure?” I asked as I followed after him, “Because I might look poor, but I’m not. So, if you want to wear something fancy, I totally can get it for you—”

“I don’t need anything fancy.” Wonwoo interrupted with a chuckle and I shrugged, walking inside the shop.

“Well, good for you then.” I muttered, looking around. To the left was the men section and to the right the women section, I pointed towards the men section, “Let’s go.”

Without thinking, I grabbed his wrist and noticed how warm his skin was against mine. I didn’t realize it was inappropriate to hold someone you just met, let alone drag him after you. But I was too happy that my plan actually worked out and that he didn’t recognize me at all. Even though he’s seen me twice before.

What if you aren’t remarkable enough? You could get Hyemi instead of Wonwoo, since he doesn’t even remember your face.

I shook my head and stopped in front of racks of various colored t-shirt and simple shirts, “Well, choose one!”

Wonwoo came to stand next to me and his eyebrows furrowed a little bit as he started moving the racks with his left hand. My right leg was tapping against the ground as I looked at his profile. His jaw was sharp and lips jutting out as he tried to choose one. Suddenly, I became aware of the hold I had on his wrist still and released it, clearing my throat awkwardly. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked ahead when Wonwoo glanced at me. I could feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment, but from the corner of my eyes I could see him smirking. It made my leg tap faster against the floor and I wished that something would happen that would save me from the embarrassment I was currently feeling.

“This one will do.” He suddenly spoke up, as if he could read my thoughts, and I turned to look at him. He was holding an almost identic t-shirt to the one he was wearing, except this one had longer sleeves. My eyes lingered on it before I gave him an affirming nod, and Wonwoo smiled.

“Your turn.” This time, he grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards the women section. My heart suddenly picked up its pace and my free hand turned into a fist as I tried to contain my wide grin once again. His grip felt like it was on fire and burned away on my skin, but I was enjoying it, it was a nice feeling. He released me though the second we got to the shirts and I didn’t even look, just picked up a brown see through shirt.

“This one!” I exclaimed and grinned at Wonwoo, holding up the shirt. His eyes fell on it and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you sure?” He asked and I could almost hear a certain discomfort in his tone, but I thought I was just making things up. So, I just nodded my head with a wide smile and Wonwoo sighed, pointing towards the changing rooms.

“Let’s change then.”

“Shouldn’t we pay first?” I asked surprised as Wonwoo took off.

“No, take the tag off, we can still pay.” My eyebrows furrowed at Wonwoo’s words but I didn’t say anything as I went inside a cabin and quickly changed into the shirt I picked. Once I was dressed, I gulped. Well, I certainly should have looked first at what I was picking out, you could see my black bra through the material. And it was a bit too thin for this weather, but if we stayed inside the mall for longer I wouldn’t be bothered. And my car was around the corner, hopefully I wouldn’t catch a cold. I pulled the curtain back and my eyes fell on Wonwoo who was leaning against the wall casually. He was wearing black jeans and black combat boots. The t-shirt he picked was tight around his chest and I couldn’t look away. It was a mouthwatering sight and I gulped, snapping out of it. But the silence stretched on for longer as Wonwoo continued looking at me with an unreadable expression, jaw just a little tight. He kept his eyes on my face, but I didn’t miss the split second they lowered towards my see-through shirt. It made me fidget as I cleared my throat.

“Let’s—let’s pay!” I quickly hurried past Wonwoo, feeling embarrassed for the nth time today. I could hear a deep chuckle behind me, but I ignored it and approached the front desk.

“Hi, we bought these two shirts we are wearing, the tags are here—” I started speaking as I placed the tags on the counter.

“I’m sorry Miss, that’s against the rules.” The cashier very rudely interrupted and gave me a glare.

“Uhm…we still intend to pay though…”

“It’s still against the rules to do that, I have to call security—”

“Maybe you should just scan the tags and proceed on with your life, Kelly.” Wonwoo’s deep voice boomed next to me and I looked at him, his jaw was clenched and he was glaring at the cashier, whose name was Kelly. She seemed to shrink a little under Wonwoo’s gaze and she hesitated for a second, but then scanned in the tags.

“We are paying separately.” Wonwoo proceeded to say when he saw that she put the shirts on the same bill and Kelly apologized quickly. I looked at Wonwoo, eyebrows furrowed at the sudden change in his attitude. He looked stern and demanding, I probably would’ve done instantly what he told me, if he looked at me like that. This is how I imagined Wonwoo’s personality to be like, yet it didn’t sit well with me. Something felt off about his attitude, this wasn’t the first time he was being like this. And it was very obvious that he knew what effect it would have on the one targeted.

“Here.” The girl muttered once she handed Wonwoo the change back and then it was my turn to pay, which went by quickly as both of us were trying to move quickly under Wonwoo’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Uh, bye!” I called out as Wonwoo and I walked out with a bag each and our stained shirts inside them. I stopped walking once we were out of the shop and Wonwoo stopped too, looking back at me confused.

“Something wrong?” He asked confused and I shook my head.

“Not at all…I’m just glad we are even now…” I shrugged and he nodded with a hum, looking around. I tried to shrug off the sudden uncertainty I was feeling. Wonwoo didn’t seem as safe anymore as I had imagined him to be.

“Do you want to grab some lunch?” My heart jumped into my throat instantly and my mind went blank. How do I answer that question? That was definitely not what I had planned, but it was turning even better. But I couldn’t, I felt like it would be too much. Yes, I wanted to get to know him, but I already felt like an intruder. This happened only because of me, I didn’t want Wonwoo to feel like he had to do this. And I wanted to sort out my thought first and analyze our interaction.

“I would love to, but I have to help out my brother.” I lied through my teeth, with a smile on my face.

“Ah…” He nodded and neared me, I felt small under his strong gaze. It looked like he was looking right into my soul, reading my mind. It gave me the impression that he knew I was lying, “You don’t have to feel guilty for spilling the coffee on me, I told you, accidents happen.”

“I know!” I laughed nervously, my leg tapping against the ground once again, “I feel like I should wash that t-shirt…to actually stop feeling guilty…”

And that was the second stage of my plan. Get him to give me his t-shirt so that I can wash it, that way I get his phone number and I have an excuse to meet up with him again. Wonwoo’s eyebrows rose at my words and he chuckled, reaching inside his bag for without saying anything.

“Here.” He said and handed me his stained t-shirt.

“Really?” I asked gaping and he chuckled as I took it from him, “I thought you’d be against it…”

“I’m not,” He said with a casual shrug and then fished his phone out of his pocket, “I’ll need your number in order to get back my t-shirt…unless you’re a t-shirt thief.”

I started laughing as I took his unlocked phone and typed in my phone number, trying to hide the tremble of my fingers, “Shhh, no one knows.”

I winked as I handed him back his phone with my number saved and Wonwoo chuckled, ringing me. That way I had his number too, which I would save the second I got to my car. And then, he took another step and I was taken aback by the closeness between us.

“Tell me…” He muttered, his voice deep and I gulped nervously, “Have we met before?”

He knows, Y/N.

I froze up for a second, looking at him with my jaw having fallen open, “What? I—I don’t think—where—You know, maybe at the library—No! We have never met before!”

I knew I fucked up with my stuttering and the way Wonwoo suddenly started smirking like he was proud of himself for making me react like that. Maybe he really does know and the voices aren’t wrong.

“You go to the library often?”

“Lately, yeah.” I cleared my throat and stepped back, acting like I was looking at the shop behind Wonwoo.

“I see.” He nodded and then stepped back too, holding his hand out, “We haven’t introduced ourselves, I’m Wonwoo.”

My eyebrows rose as I realized we really didn’t, even though I already knew his name. Thank God it didn’t slip from my lips, that would’ve been really bad.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you!” I smiled at him widely and shook his head excited, trying to ignore how hot his hand was once again. His grip was firm and I decided to ignore how our hands touched for a little bit longer than they were supposed to.

“Nice to meet you too.” Wonwoo chuckled and we let go of each other’s hands finally.

“I have to go now…” I pointed behind me and Wonwoo gave me a nod and a small wave, “Bye!”

“See you soon, Y/N.” I shivered at how low his tone got and quickly hurried away, feeling embarrassed, excited, nervous and confused by the vibes he was giving me. Why is it that I feel like there’s something going on with him?

           I was eager to get home after the day I had, ready to get lost in my thoughts and analyze every little detail about the exchange between Wonwoo and I. I even considered texting him, but I didn’t want to come off as creepy, or give him the wrong impression. If I wanted things to work out, I had to be smooth and careful about everything I said and did. As I parked my car in its usual place, I noticed how the lights were on inside the house and realized Doyoung was already home. Doyoung was home early! I quickly got out of the car and locked it, almost running to get inside the house faster. It was rare that Doyoung was home before nightfall and I missed spending time with him and going out with him. We haven’t gone on a run together in a long time and I was hoping that Doyoung was up to it. I knocked on the front door first to let Doyoung know that it was me, and then pushed the door open and walked inside.

“Doyoung!” I shrieked, seeing that he wasn’t in the living room nor kitchen, “Hi!”

Doyoung didn’t answer right away and as I closed the door behind me and locked it, I heard the water running in the bathroom. Doyoung was washing up, so I walked to my room and changed out of my clothes and wore something comfortable. I quickly removed my makeup and sighed as I pulled my hair in a low bun, feeling at ease once again. I opened my window to let in some fresh air and as I was about to walk away, I noticed the white lilies on the windowsill. I chuckled at Doyoung’s creativeness and picked them up, taking them inside with me. It was smart of him, to be honest. He parked his car behind the backyard, where the wall of my bedroom was too. So, in order to get to the front of the house he’d have to pass by my windows and that would explain how he was able to sneak in the flowers inside my room without me seeing them. But as I held the lilies, I realized that there were ten pieces this time and I bit my lower lip as a wide smile spread onto my lips. I glanced at the bag that contained the shirts that got coffee spilled on them and I walked up to it, grabbing Wonwoo’s t-shirt. I took it in my hands and, having placed the lilies on my bed, and felt the soft fabric of the black t-shirt. It was bigger than my own torso as I held it against my frame and chuckled as I walked towards my mirror. So that’s what I would look like wearing Wonwoo’s shirts.

You look lovely, Y/N, we bet Wonwoo can’t wait to see you like this. If you proceed carefully, he’ll be yours in a blink of an eye.

I chuckled, letting the image the voices created linger in my mind. I brought the t-shirt up against my nose and reveled in Wonwoo’s cologne. It was masculine and it carried a musky scent and something that I have only felt on Doyoung, the smell of gunpowder. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the t-shirt, lowering it back inside the bag. Why would Wonwoo’s t-shirt smell like gunpowder? Does he go to the shooting ranges? Is it a hobby of his? No, if it was, I would’ve known already. But before I could dwell on it longer, the bathroom door closed and I jumped, taking the white lilies as I left my room.

“Y/N, are you home—”

“Doyoung!” I exclaimed and threw my arms around my brother, giving him a back hug. Doyoung chuckled and tapped my arms, softly peeling them off himself.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be home so early!” I said as I walked around him, wandering if we had any free vases for the lilies.

“I wasn’t either…” Doyoung muttered and I heard him sigh as I opened some cabinets until I found a blue vase. I smiled in victory and filled it with water, placing the lilies inside before putting the vase in the middle of the dining table. Doyoung was lounging on the couch with a frown on his face and as I looked at him, about to rant about my day, I realized something was wrong. He looked drained; his eyes even looked red.

“Doyoung…” I muttered with a frown and approached him slowly, arms hugging around my torso, “Are you okay?”

He looked up at me and tried to put on a smile, “Yeah! I’m fine—”

But his voice broke a little and I quickly sat next to him, throwing my arms around him as I pulled him into a tight hug.

“Hey, talk to me.” I whispered as I rubbed his back reassuringly. His arms went around me and he sighed loudly, sniffing.

“Well…I was sent home early because the higher ups are in meetings…” He sighed again and I just hummed as I waited patiently for him to continue.

“Sana was found dead this morning—” His voice broke again and I froze. Doyoung’s boss was dead? Who could have done such thing? And why?

“Oh, Doyoung, I’m so sorry…” I whispered, tightening my hold around him. He nodded his head and then rested his cheek against my shoulder. We remained silent as I tried offering comfort to my brother, knowing how much Sana’s death affected him. Not many liked Sana, sometimes even Doyoung hated her, but they spent a lot of time together. And inevitably they bonded, she still meant something to him.

“She was shot in the head once, it killed her instantly—” I wanted to tell him to stop thinking about it, to not tell me anything about her death, but he had to get it off his chest. And I was there to listen, I would always be there for Doyoung, no matter what he needed.

“There were signs of other altercations before her death…” Then he stopped for a second and scoffed, “She attacked a girl, Y/N, a simple, innocent, girl. She just—broke inside her apartment, trashed it and—and tried killing her? I don’t understand—”

“People do all sorts of things,” I interrupted Doyoung’s rambling, “You can never truly know what a person is capable of until it’s done.”

Doyoung sniffed again and then gently pulled back, rubbing his eyes. I let my hands rest in my lap as I watched my brother trying to pull himself together.

“She did it because of a guy—I don’t understand. She was obsessed with this—Kim Mingyu and she attacked Hyemi for being with him, I—” Doyoung shrugged and fell back against the couch, looking up at the white ceiling. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched my brother. Kim Mingyu? It’s the guy Wonwoo works for. Wait…does Wonwoo know anything about this? Why was he missing yesterday? Hyemi…it can’t be the girl from the bookstore, right?

“Is Hyemi alright?” I found myself asking quietly and Doyoung hummed.

“Her friends found her just in time, before she could get hurt seriously. But Sana…”

“She got what she deserved.” I couldn’t hold my words back and Doyoung’s head snapped in my direction, “She tried to kill Hyemi, Doyoung. And she was a cop. Attacked a simple civilian. I understand your pain and struggle but—”

“I know,” Doyoung offered me a reassuring smile and patted my hand, “but it’s very stressful. They want me to replace Sana.”

My eyes widened as I sat up straighter, “Wait…you’ll become head of police then…?”

Doyoung’s lips formed a thin line and he sighed, looking away from me, “I guess Kim Mingyu really does achieve whatever he wants…”

“Kim Mingyu?” My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at Doyoung once again confused hearing his name, “What does he have to do with this?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about that.” Doyoung quickly said and ran his fingers through his damp hair, “I just wanted to be the first one to tell you all of this, and not Mark.”

Before I could press more about who Kim Mingyu was, I froze and looked at Doyoung surprised, “Mark?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung gave me a small glare and it seemed like he was quick to repress the feelings towards Sana’s death, “I know about what you do with Mark.”

“I don’t do anything,” I shrugged defensively, “I don’t even know who that is!”

Doyoung scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Please, you think people didn’t notice Mark’s sudden success this year? Everyone knew he was close to getting fired, until he suddenly turned into this super detective he never was—”

“And how is that my fault?!” I exclaimed, unable to keep it inside anymore. My legs were bouncing quickly and I gave Doyoung a glare, “I wanted to help. I wanted to do something else besides running my blog and taking pictures of nature, alright? This is fun and exciting—”

“And fucking dangerous, Y/N!” Doyoung exclaimed, standing up as his eyebrows furrowed, “Do you have any idea who you even follow around? Gang leaders, mafia heads, powerful business men! These people are shady! If you were ever caught, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything—”

“I know!” I exclaimed and stood up too, feeling desperate for Doyoung to understand me, “But this helped! It really did, Mark offered me an escape, Doyoung. An escape from falling back into my old habits and stalking people. Ever since I started doing this, I—I had no tendencies to stalk others—” Besides the sudden infatuation I had with Wonwoo, but it would pass. I hoped that it would. I wanted Doyoung to be proud of me.

“You just need a good therapist, Y/N—” Doyoung’s words were triggering as my parents would say this often to me and I couldn’t control myself, I shoved him back. He stumbled a bit, taken aback by my sudden outburst. Until he realized what he said, and he turned pale.

“Thanks a lot, big brother.” I snapped and turned around, storming towards my room, “You know therapists did shit and never helped me! The medication only made feel worse after a while!”

“I didn’t mean to say that, I’m sorry—” Doyoung tried to apologize as he followed after me.

“Save it, okay?!” I entered my room and blocked Doyoung from coming inside, “I—I know I’m a burden to you. I hate being a burden. But I can’t live on my own, and I hate that. I want to offer you a normal life, but instead, I’m just hanging on your neck—and I don’t need you to remind me that!”

“That’s not true!” Doyoung looked offended by my words as his eyebrows furrowed, “You were never a burden to me. I love you and I want you with me, Y/N—”

I raised my palm to stop him from talking, “Stop, I don’t care. Thankfully, helping Mark out pays well and I’m close to having enough money to move out. Give me three more months, and I’ll be gone.”

“What?!” Doyoung’s face fell and he went to grab me, but I slammed the door shut quickly, “I don’t want you to leave! We moved in here together because we both wanted to! You can’t just leave—”

“Watch me!” I screamed and I heard Doyoung sigh loudly as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. This wasn’t the time to act childish nor to drop something like that on him, not when his boss just died and he was in grief. But I couldn’t help it, he pissed me off. He would never understand what I had to go through daily and therefore he had no rights to try and tell me what to do. What Mark offered me was a life saver and Doyoung would never understand how much it helped, right up until I met Wonwoo.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” Doyoung said loudly and knocked on my door, but I quickly locked it. I knew he was sorry and he didn’t want to hurt me, but I needed time to get over his words. By tomorrow morning I would be fine, but I needed to be left alone tonight.

“Whatever!” I called out and rolled my eyes, “Don’t bring me any white lilies anymore!”

I waited for an answer but Doyoung remained silent and I really wanted to see his expression, was he mad that I told him that?

“What?” My eyebrows furrowed at his confused tone, “You’re the one who buys them daily—”

The rest of his words got swallowed by my loudness. My heart started thumping wildly as I unlocked the bedroom’s door in a hurry and threw it open, “What?!”

Doyoung’s eyebrows were furrowed too as we looked at each other confused, “You…aren’t the one buying the lilies?”

“And it’s not you who’s been giving them to me?” Doyoung and I seemed to realize what this meant at the same time and as I scampered to shut the window of my room closed and lock it, Doyoung hurried to take on some shoes as he turned on the lights outside around the house. He threw on a jacket and hurried outside as I remained shivering in the middle of the room. Goosebumps covered my skin as I remained staring at the flowers on my nightstand that I got yesterday. Who was giving me these flowers then? And why was this person breaking inside our house?

Aw, does our little Y/N have a secret admirer? Who could it be?

“No!” I shook my head and hurriedly shut all blinds in my room and then went around the house, shutting each one of them. Doyoung came inside looking distressed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ll talk to the boys, and they’ll start patrolling around the neighborhood. Tomorrow a search team will come and search the house for any foreign DNA, alright?” Doyoung spoke with a serious tone as he locked the front door and turned to look at me, “Nothing will happen, alright?”

“They have been breaking in for two weeks, Doyoung—” I bit my lower lip and started tapping my leg against the floor anxiously, “Do they want something from me?”

Doyoung walked up to me and held onto my shoulders, “We’ll catch them before they can do anything, yes?”

I sighed and nodded my head, looking around the house to see the white lilies everywhere. They made me feel sick to my stomach, so I walked past Doyoung to take the trash bin and started throwing all of them inside it, cursing under my breath. I should have known that it wasn’t Doyoung. I’m so stupid!

           Sleeping was hard last night and after struggling for a while, I somehow fell asleep towards the morning hours. I didn’t have the energy to go and watch Wonwoo today, I was too paranoid to even wear headphones on my run. I kept glancing behind me, until I noticed the police car parked around the curb and two of Doyoung’s colleagues chatting as they had coffee in their hands. I quickly greeted them before running past them, deciding to change my running route out of fear that if someone indeed was watching would already know I would head that way and do something to me. Doyoung kept messaging me every half an hour and I got irritated so I told him to just watch the app where it showed him my location, and at least that made him stop. I was halfway down the path when my phone started buzzing in my back pocket, tickling my butt cheek. I stopped running and unzipped the pocket, taking my phone in my hand. My lungs were screaming for air and I had sweat a lot as I pushed myself in order to try and forget the whole stalker deal. But when my eyes fell on the caller ID, I felt excited.

“I hope you went on that vacation and enjoyed yourself,” Came Mark’s voice through the phone and I chuckled, still trying to catch my breath, “Because I’ve got a new job for you.”

I hummed and breathed loudly, waiting for Mark to continue.

“Am I…interrupting something?” His voice was hesitant and it made me laugh.

“Yeah, my run.” Mark chuckled and I turned around, walking back towards the house, “Tell me everything.”

“It’s a one-day job, but it’s very important. The names are Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao. I’ll send you the details in a message on your other number, delete it once you had it memorized.”

“What exactly will I have to look out for?” I wondered as I passed by the police car again, the officers were gone this time.

“Those two are planning a heist, just take pictures of each jewelry place they go inside and send them to me straight when you think it’s clear.” I pursed my lips and thought a little.

“Fine, but don’t say a word to Doyoung. He knows about us and he’s very mad.”

“I know,” Mark cleared his throat, sounding awkward, “He very much wants to fire me right now. Maybe you heard, but Sana is dead, so he’s the big boss now…”

“I know,” I muttered and walked down the street, looking around before crossing onto the other side, “Doyoung told me. Seems like she was nuts or something…”

“She had it coming,” Mark scoffed and it peaked my interest, “Anyone who works against or turns on Kim Mingyu ends up being dead.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I was about to ask who this man was, but Mark gasped, “Shit, your brother is coming—keep your eyes on your phone!”

He hung up and I sighed as I locked my phone, wondering if I would find anything about Kim Mingyu on the internet. Since Wonwoo worked for him, I’ve seen him a few times, his business seemed pretty serious. Lost in thought, I didn’t notice the guy approaching me and gasped when their shoulder collided with mine. I hissed and stopped, turning around to shout at them, but the person didn’t even acknowledge me.

“Asshole!” I shouted after them, noticing their hunched form. The person seemed tall and looked like he was trying to hide his actual height. I turned to walk when the scent hit me. Musk and gunpowder. I quickly turned around, but the man in the black clothes was already gone.

Was that your secret admirer?

I shivered and quickly ran the rest of the way home, only being around the corner. I quickly unlocked the gate and as I walked inside, my eyes fell on the white lilies that I threw in the dumpster this morning. I felt bad for them because they were very beautiful, but I didn’t want them inside the house anymore.

After showering and getting ready, I checked out Mark’s message and memorized the information quickly, deleting the message. I grabbed my laptop and put it inside my bag together with my camera as I pulled on my tennis shoes and left the house, locking everything after me. I had an hour until the targets would show up to the city center to check out all shops, so I decided to take a walk there, try to use up the energy that didn’t go away while I was running due to it being cut short. I let Doyoung know that I was going out and to an agglomerated area, so that he didn’t have to worry, besides he had the tracker on. I snapped a few pictures as I walked and reveled in the silence around me as I took the back streets, where less people walked. I wondered what Wonwoo was doing, and suddenly I felt bad that I didn’t follow him around today. He’d be at his work place right now, having already been to the gym earlier this morning after he dropped Hyemi off at work and bought his coffee. What was interesting about Wonwoo was that each time he ordered coffee, he bought something different. My phone dinged as I turned onto the main street, getting lost in the crowd of people as I opened my phone and almost shrieked when I saw whom the message was from.

From Wonwoo: Hey…I hope I’m not bothering you…I was just wondering when we could meet up? You know…to give me back my t-shirt.

I struggled for a second to hold the phone in both hands and also not walk into others as I typed back.

To Wonwoo: Hi! You’re not bothering me at all! I washed it this morning…so if the weather is nice, it’ll be totally dry by tomorrow! Is tomorrow good for you?

I was about to put my phone away, but Wonwoo started typing back instantly and soon came his answer.

From Wonwoo: I can’t tomorrow, I won’t be in town and will only get back late. The next day…is it good for you?

I looked around me, noticing that I was in the area Mark instructed me to. I noticed the first jewelry shop and found a bench right across from it, so I hurried to take a seat there.

To Wonwoo: Sure, at noon? We can have lunch, since I turned it down last time…

My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for Wonwoo’s answer, which seemed to take ages, and in fact only took a few seconds.

From Wonwoo: Fine, but let’s go to a restaurant. The food is better than the one at the mall.

He wasn’t wrong, besides this was sounding an awful lot like a date. I giggled and looked around before typing back.

To Wonwoo: Tell me the location and time?

From Wonwoo: 1 o’clock, but I’ll pick you up. Give me your address.

I hesitated for a second, knowing better not to give away my address to a complete stranger. My parents warned me about bad people, and so did Doyoung numerous times…especially since he became a cop and had to work on many cases that ended badly due to naïve girls going on dates with guys from Tinder. But I didn’t meet Wonwoo on Tinder…and I’ve already been watching him for weeks, I know what he’s like.

Honestly, you would pass on an opportunity like this one, Y/N? Isn’t this what we’ve been working for? Getting Wonwoo? Why did you even bother if you’re about to refuse him?!

When I saw Wonwoo typing, I quickly sent him my address, scared that he thought I was about to refuse him after I was the one who proposed getting lunch.

From Wonwoo: Alright, I’ll be there then.

To Wonwoo: Can’t wait to see you!

I instantly regretted sending that, but it was no use deleting it as he had already read the message.

From Wonwoo: Me too.

I giggled again and as I looked up; I saw a black Ferrari pulling up. I quickly scrambled to get out my camera from my bag and turned it on at lightning speed. I snapped pictures as the targets got out of the car. They were the same guys from the pictures Mark sent me, Minghao and Junhui. Both dressed pretty fancy and I knew they were the targets. I remained seated as they walked inside the first jewelry shop and snapped a picture of it. They didn’t spend much time in, quickly headed to the next one. I followed them from the bench as long as I could, but as they started walking towards the end of the street, I had to move too to be able to catch them. My phone and Wonwoo were forgotten, but just as I got up from the bench, throwing my bag over my shoulder and camera in my hand, my phone buzzed. As the targets were still inside the shop, I quickly checked to see that I had another new message from Wonwoo.

From Wonwoo: What are you doing right now?

I paused a little bit, finding his wording a little weird, but shrugged it off. I looked up just as the targets walked out of the shop and placed my phone in my pocket, snapping pictures as they talked and looked around. I wasn’t afraid that they’d see me as there were lots of people around us, but it still felt like I was being watched. They didn’t move from that spot, so I quickly answered Wonwoo.

To Wonwoo: Nothing much, just working. You?

I looked up to see the targets moving across the street, headed to a simple gardening shop. What could they be doing there? I started quickly walking towards it and snapped a picture just as I passed by in front of it, hopeful that no one saw me. Especially the targets. Then they walked out and headed down the street, towards the bench I was sitting at previously. I trailed after them, keeping a good distance as I pretended to look around and snapped a few pictures of the things that were displayed in the windows, trying to act normal and as if I was a tourist. I felt my phone vibrating again, so I checked it with a sigh. This isn’t how I’m supposed to be doing my work.

From Wonwoo: Working too, waiting for my boss.

So Wonwoo was with Mingyu then, probably sitting in his red Mercedes, waiting for Mingyu to show up and order him around. I didn’t react to the text message as the targets started moving again, headed for the Ferrari they have arrived in. Hastily, I snapped a few more pictures of the car, getting the license plate, and once they sped off, I took a deep breath. Well, I wasn’t caught, so that was amazing. Now I just have to send Mark all the photos and then have some lunch, my stomach is screaming for food.

I found a nice restaurant just around the corner and sat at a table at the back, opening my laptop. I copied all pictures on it and then sent Mark everything through an e-mail before deleting everything off my camera and laptop. No traces of what I had done, perfect as always.

To Mark: Everything good?

From Mark: Perfect, thanks again. I’ll pay you later, wait around a little bit.

To Mark: Fine, I have to eat either way!

And then I put my phone away and ordered food, which thankfully came quickly, as I was really hungry. I bobbed my head to the songs played on the radio while I ate, my legs bouncing underneath the table, unable to sit still. Not that it was something unusual. I was slurping up the rest of the soup when Doyoung messaged me and told me he would be home early again and that he could pick me up if I wanted him to. But I couldn’t as Mark had to pay me still, so I told him that I wanted to stay out alone for a little bit longer. And after almost two hours of me sitting at the restaurant, Mark finally called me that he was in front of the gardening shop, waiting for me. Paying for the food and greeting the lady, I left the restaurant in a hurry, glad that Mark finally showed up. In truth, I wanted Doyoung to pick me up, but he was at home by now and I didn’t want to bother him. I would just take a cab as it was getting dark and I didn’t want to walk home anymore. The exchange between Mark and I was brief as usual and I quickly found a cab for myself. I got in and told the driver where to take me and got comfortable against the beige leather seats. I sighed and started tapping my thigh with my fingers, looking out the window at the bright billboards and lights of the city. We went past the first intersection, but traffic was getting bad as everyone was headed home or out to have fun, so we caught the next red light. The cab driver turned the volume of the radio up a bit as he started bobbing his head to the beat and I found myself tapping along it too; the song was catchy. Police car sirens could be heard in the distance, but it wasn’t something unusual. Then suddenly, there was a commotion a few cars behind us and as I twisted my neck to see what was happening, four figures in all black and masks covering their whole faces ran up to the car. The cab driver panicked and before he could lock the doors, his door was ripped open and he was pulled out. I jumped and opened my own door in a hurry, wanting to get out, but I couldn’t as all four doors of the cab were now ripped open and the four men jumped in. I got pushed into the middle by my head by the man on my right and squeezed there as I gripped my bag to my chest. All doors were shut closed and only the driver put on his seatbelt. Suddenly, he started reeving the engine and then crashed into the car in front of us. The car jolted and I gasped as I was sent forward, eyes wide as my heart pumped loudly. God damn it, I should have just accepted Doyoung’s offer and asked Mark to pay me tomorrow. The cab driver was holding onto his head and screaming for help as the sirens got closer and the driver started honking, trying to make space for us to pass. I remained silent and shocked, gripping onto my bag and hopeful that they wouldn’t do anything to me. They seemed too stressed about leaving and getting away from the approaching police.

“For fuck’s sake!” Suddenly the one in the passenger seat shouted, his voice raspy, as he threw his door open and got halfway out. And then a silver thing glinted in his hand and I made myself small as I knew he was about to pull the trigger. The gunshots were loud as people started screaming around, suddenly the cars in front of us started moving aside, the light had turned green too.

“Floor it!” The man to my left shouted and the one in the passenger seat hopped back in as the driver pressed the gas pedal and we were sent flying forward. I yelped and held onto the headrest of the passenger seat tightly, looking ahead. The driver was honking constantly until every car started moving out of the way and we were flying down the road, but the sirens were closer too. So close, that the red and blue lights could be seen from inside the car. My breathing started to pick up as my left leg was bouncing very fast, and I was trying to remain as calm as I could. It seemed like they didn’t want to bother with me, so if I remain silent, maybe nothing will happen to me. I might as well blindfold myself so that I know nothing about where they are taking me and then they can let me free as I haven’t seen their faces.

The light turned red in front of us, but the driver wasn’t paying any attention to the traffic lights as he was speeding and switching lanes frantically, even going into the opposite lanes, making me squeeze my eyes shut. If we were about to run into any car, I didn’t want to see it. My bouncing leg knocked into something and I opened one eyes, becoming aware that these criminals were holding black bags that seemed to be heavy. They must have robbed some place and now were running away, just fucking perfect that they chose this cab! I gasped again as the car was jerked to the right and I was sent into the person on my left, making them hiss. I was expecting a slap or them to scream at me, but they just gently adjusted me back into the middle seat, turning their head towards me as if they realized for the first time that I was in the car too. I could see their brown eyes, and they widened. Mine widened too out of fear and I quickly ducked my head, holding onto my bag tightly. By now, the police was full on chasing these criminals, they were right behind us and the car was jerked to the left this time.

“Fuck this shit car!” A very deep voice suddenly shouted, making me jump, “I can’t outrun the fucking police in this old ass piece of shit—”

“Calm down!” The man on my right snapped, voice tense and raised. My left leg was bouncing so fast that I was getting a cramp in my thigh, but I couldn’t stop, I was on the brink of passing out from how anxious I was feeling. I stopped breathing normally a long time ago and I even started sweating, if only someone would’ve rolled down a window…

“Where the fuck do I go if they are trailing us? I can’t lose them here!” The deep voiced man continued shouting and he honked again as the sirens seemed to become deafening. But the more I concentrated on his deep voice, the more familiar it became. My body felt like it was made out of rock already, but it seemed like I could tense up even more. My breath got cut off for a second as my head snapped up, my whole body sitting up straight. My eyes bore into the back of the driver’s head. I knew that voice, but it can’t be. My brain is just making up things, I’m under so much stress that I started making up things.

“Take the back streets!” The man from the passenger seat answered him, “Boss is waiting at the docks.”

“The docks are fucking half an hour away from here! Start shooting at their cars tires, you idiots!” The driver’s deep voice boomed in the car and I shivered as three windows were rolled down. The three men suddenly all had weapons in their hands and they started shooting at the police car that was speeding beside the cab. I remained staring at the driver as my brain was screaming at me that the voice belonged to Wonwoo. Suddenly, the guy looked in the rearview mirror and our gazes connected. My mouth fell open when I saw foxy eyes staring back at me with the intensity I was used to seeing from Wonwoo, their brown seemed to be even darker as I gaped at Wonwoo. This can’t be happening, no. This must be a joke. But Wonwoo’s eyes narrowed and he quickly looked back at the road, taking another sharp turn as the rest managed to get rid of that one police car, but at least three more were still chasing us. Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket and I let go of my bag with one hand, only now noticing how badly I was shaking. I knew no one was paying attention to me, so I curled up into a ball and sneakily placed the phone against my ear after hitting the green button.

“Y/N?!” Doyoung’s voice was frantic and the sirens were even louder through the phone, “Why the hell are you in the car we are chasing—”

Suddenly, the phone was ripped from my hands and I shrieked, trying to reach for it, “Doyoung!”

But the guys on each of my side held me down and the man in the passenger’s seat had the phone against his ear.

“Listen here—” But he was cut off by Doyoung, I could hear him screaming through the phone, but I didn’t understand what he was saying as all I could hear were my own loud heart beats as I struggled against the men holding me. Finally, my flight or fight kicked in, and I chose to fight as I didn’t really have the opportunity to run. Only God knows what was about to happen, I wasn’t going to sit around anymore. I elbowed the man on my right in the stomach and he cried out loudly as I finally freed my right arm. The man on my left was very skinny, but despite that he was very strong and my arm was turning numb, that’s how hard he was squeezing me. I started fighting against him too, punched him in the face with my free hand, even though he tried dodging it. My left arm was free too and I lunged for the guy in the passenger seat, knowing that I’d kill all of us if I started choking Wonwoo. So instead, my hands went around the other guy’s neck from behind as I started squeezing, the words he was about to say to my brother dying away in his throat. My phone fell from his hand and he gripped my wrists, trying to claw at me with his nails, but he was wearing glows. I started squeezing even harder as Wonwoo started swerving the car around violently.

“Get a fucking grip on her!” He shouted as with his right hand he gripped my bicep and started yanking on my arm. I cried out in pain, trying to elbow him as suddenly hands around my waist and forearms were pulling me back harshly. The guy I was choking started fighting back too, probably close to passing out as his struggling became less and less. But these guys were very strong, and two were pulling me back while one was squeezing so hard on my bicep that it felt like someone was trying to rip my arm off, I had to let go of the guy in the passenger seat. He started coughing and wheezing loudly as he fell forward. I screamed as I was restrained, this time the guys were almost sitting on me to stop me from fighting back. Wonwoo looked at me through the rearview mirror and I knew that he knew I recognized him, his deadly glare made me still instantly. I was rooted against the leather seat as he reached for my phone and hit a button, no doubt calling my brother.

“You want your sister? You play along with me.” Was all he said before hanging up and throwing the phone back at me, hitting my knees as it fell onto the ground. The guys still held me tightly, even though I stopped struggling. The one in the front stopped coughing, but he was still leaned over, holding onto his head as he was breathing loudly. My lungs were rising and falling at an alarming pace as my legs started bouncing again. But then suddenly Wonwoo took a sharp U turn and the police cars stopped following us. The sirens stopped blaring, all you could see were the lights, lights that were getting farther away from us. Doyoung was getting farther away from me, he was in one of those cars! I bit my lower lip and tried to keep the thoughts about me dying out as for once in my life I focused on the voices.

Look at that, Y/N is having the most fun she’s ever head. Don’t worry, you won’t die. Wonwoo won’t kill you, he’s into you. And he probably knows that you know it’s him. Isn’t he just so hot? The way he screamed, the way he’s driving…and you thought he was boring?! His burning gaze makes you feel all sorts of ways, Y/N, admit it. Now calm down, you are getting out of this alive.

The voices weren’t helpful as they were rambling about Wonwoo, but I did take a deep breath and noticed that until I was zoned out, he stopped driving at a crazy speed. We were downtown, but nowhere close to the docks. Wonwoo pulled up into the parking lot of a poorly lit convenience store, where a police car was already there. But all lights were off and only one man was there, walking around the car anxiously. It was Doyoung and my heart almost jumped out of my chest when Wonwoo stopped the car just next to Doyoung’s police car. The doors were kicked open again and I jumped when the guy on my left held onto my bicep, Wonwoo squeezed me so hard that my whole arm was on fire, it would bruise so ugly. I was pulled out of the car, but not manhandled, as Doyoung came to a stop at the back of the car. The guy let go of me and I took two hurried steps, but someone blocked my path, and I ran into their hard chest. Musk and gunpowder. I didn’t look up at Wonwoo, only stared at his chest as I held my bag against my stomach, my whole-body trembling.

“Say a word to anyone about this, I know where you live and I won’t hesitate to find you.” His deep voice was low as he whispered to me, radiating anger. I bit my lower lip and said nothing as I knocked into him hard and walked past to get to Doyoung. He was quick to pull me into his arms and I clung onto him, telling myself that I was finally safe. It was silent as no one dared to say anything; Doyoung was so tense, he felt like I was hugging a rock.

“If you ever again put my sister into danger, I won’t hesitate to continue what Sana started. You’re lucky I’ve known Mingyu since we were kids, otherwise you’d be laying in jail for life right now.” Doyoung was so angry, his voice trembled and it even raised a few octaves as he spoke to the criminals. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was just letting them off like that? They were criminals!

“Your generosity will be always returned, you know that, Doyoung.” The guy I choked could barely speak, his voice was a low rasp and then I heard something colliding against the concrete. Doyoung moved us a little as car doors were closed and the engine of the cab started again as Wonwoo pulled out of the parking lot with the tires screeching. I let go of Doyoung and looked at him disappointed, lips trembling.

“You’re a corrupt cop?” I managed to say as a few tears fell from my eyes. He looked down at the bag and picked it up, remorse showing on his face.

“You weren’t supposed to find out, but it’s a complicated story—”

“Nothing about this is complicated!” I shouted, angrily wiping the tears off my cheeks, “You just let four criminals run off like nothing happened! Like I couldn’t have been killed in that chase or afterwards by them! If people like you are the ones protecting this city everyone should be afraid for their own lives!”

Doyoung’s face got red and he pointed a finger at me, “You don’t get to tell me what’s wrong and what’s right! I’m not perfect; you think you’re the only one with flaws, Y/N?! Wake up! I’m not the perfect brother you always make me out to be! Once you start working for the mafia there’s no way out—”

“You work for the mafia?!” I screamed, seeing Doyoung in a different light for the first time. He really wasn’t the person I thought he was. The innocent Doyoung never existed, at least not since he’s been working for the mafia apparently.

“No, but I help them out sometimes. Mingyu and I made a pact a long time ago—”

“Kim Mingyu is the mafia leader?”

“Yes—”

“Who is Jeon Wonwoo?” Doyoung paused for a second, eyebrows furrowing. I raised my eyebrows at him as I waited for an answer. Oh, and he was going to give me all the answers I wanted.

“A very skilled getaway driver, Mingyu’s closest and most trusted friend, and his chauffeur.” Doyoung answered me after he took a deep breath, searching my face for a reaction. But it never came, I surpassed it. I felt tired and I was aching all over, I need a warm bath and sleep. I didn’t even want to know anything anymore, that was enough.

“Let’s go home.” I said with a sigh and walked up to the police car, “I’m very tired.”

“Y/N—”

“Now, Doyoung.” I snapped and opened the door, sitting inside angrily. Doyoung shook his head before following suit, remaining silent for the rest of the night.

Isn’t Wonwoo just the most amazing person you’ve ever—Shut up, I shouted in my head, closing my eyes tightly. I was done listening to the voices. I wanted nothing to do with them anymore. No, Wonwoo was a criminal and he made it very clear what he’d do if I said anything about what happened. I was going to ask Mark to return that damned t-shirt to him and I never wanted to see Wonwoo again or talk to him again. I blocked his number and deleted all pictures I had of him in my phone. In the morning, when I was home alone, I was going to burn every single thing I had collected about him, every single picture I snapped. He was a criminal and I wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

           Ever since last night Doyoung was acting like I was an alien. He didn’t speak to me; he didn’t even look at me! He quietly greeted me when I walked to the kitchen to have breakfast, but before I could thank him for making breakfast or ask him how he slept, he was out of the front door. He barely checked up on me all day, and when I gave him a call to ask him if he’d come home for lunch as I cooked food, he didn’t answer but sent a text saying that he couldn’t speak to me at the moment. It was pissing me off. I didn’t want him to make this harder for us. What I found out was a lot to take in and I wasn’t proud of him, but he was my brother and he was the only person who stood by my side since day one without judging me. I loved him very much and I needed him next to me. I needed him to understand that nothing changed between us, besides the fact that currently I was very pissed off and scared. The police were still patrolling around the neighborhood as no DNA was found inside the house that didn’t belong to us, and honestly, I was on the verge of inviting the officers inside the house as I jumped at every sound. Sleep came easily as I was very stressed, but my eyes opened at five in morning and I haven’t been able to go back to sleep, so I got to work. I gathered everything I had on Wonwoo and threw it in the fireplace in the back garden and watched it as it burned away in the morning light. It eased my nerves a little bit as I clutched the blanket tighter around me, knowing that Wonwoo was out of town today. But tomorrow he wouldn’t be, and I had a feeling that he was still going to want to meet up with me. But I didn’t want to, not anymore. Knowing that Mark wasn’t sleeping at that hour, I called him, and told him everything that happened. He was very sorry and felt really guilty and promised to never send me off to watch mafia members, I was content with that. Watching shady business men was alright, but following mafia members wasn’t fun anymore. I stayed inside the whole day after I went on my run and just cleaned and cooked even more. I updated my blog and accepted a request of someone to put up my photos in their gallery next month. Since Mark wasn’t going to contact me for a while now, I started looking for vacation destinations. I really needed it, I had to get away from the city for a while. The voices went quiet and even when I listened closely, I only heard intangible whispers. It was good, it meant I was over Wonwoo. Even if I wasn’t really. The fairytale I was living in was shattered and as I glanced at his folded t-shirt, I sighed. I was hoping that for once I finally found someone who would be good for me, but it turned out I was very wrong. Usually my hunches were good, but this time I was totally blinded by his attractiveness and the voices that never knew better. Shaking my head, I remembered the old lady from the woods and wondered if she was still alive…or if she’d recognize me if I showed up. She told me she’d welcome me anytime again, but I didn’t visit her very frequently as my family was keeping a close eye on me after I ran away, and it was fine. But now, I craved to be engulfed in total silence and the green nature around me.

Nightfall came and I was eating on the couch as I watched a reality show, laughing loudly when something was amusing. It wasn’t very late, but the sun still set early as we haven’t passed the spring solstice yet. I just bit into the meatball I made for lunch when the front door was unlocked and I heard Doyoung’s keys.

“Hi!” I called out with my mouth full, raising the hand with which I was holding the fork to wave at him. Doyoung hummed and went to the fridge directly and opened it.

“Oh, I made a lot of food today,” I said as I turned around, resting both legs on the couch, “Meatballs, found some spaghetti too so I made some sauce for it. I made a salad with the veggies we had and lentil cream soup, your favorite!”

But Doyoung didn’t react and my eyebrows furrowed as I chewed the food I had in my mouth. This had do end right now, I wasn’t going to let my brother treat me like I was invisible just because I found out that he’s a corrupt cop.

“Hey!” I snapped, placing the plate on the coffee table forcefully, “Stop being a pussy and face me!”

Doyoung sighed and threw a glance at me as he took out the soup and I spoke again, “Aren’t I the one supposed to be giving you the silent treatment?!”

Doyoung just shrugged as he took a bowl and poured soup into it, “I don’t know…”

“Nice to hear you are still able to speak—”

“Are you not mad?” Doyoung cut me off before I could finish my sarcastic remark and I glared at him.

“I’m very mad, but it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop acknowledging you, yeah? What kind of shit person does that?” I rolled my eyes and Doyoung chuckled, throwing a glance at me as he sat at the table to eat.

“The me kind of shit person apparently.” I chuckled and resumed eating as Doyoung did too. I lowered the volume of the TV a little bit and turned back towards him again, taking in his attire. His uniform changed; I didn’t notice it this morning.

“You have a new uniform?” I asked with a grin and Doyoung nodded, looking down at himself.

“Yeah, I got it today.” I nodded and bit into the meatball.

“Well, congratulations—next time lock the mafia guys up, yeah?” Doyoung paused and I knew it was too soon to joke about this, but I wasn’t exactly joking. My tone wasn’t playful at all and Doyoung sighed, wordlessly nodding as he started slurping his soup.

“Were you that hungry? You didn’t even change…” I wondered as Doyoung finished eating and stood up.

“No, but I have to go to the funeral house. It’s Sana’s watcher…” My lips formed a thin line as I nodded, finishing my dinner wordlessly as Doyoung moved around the kitchen. He squeezed some lemon in his water and drank it, closing his eyes for a second. His body seemed tense and he was hunched a little forward as he washed away the dishes he used.

“Don’t come too late, you should rest more.” I said as Doyoung nodded and put on his shoes, taking his keys.

“You too, don’t wait for me.” He said and I nodded, watching him leave the house. The locked the door and I sighed, getting up from the couch. I walked to the sink and washed the plate and fork I used, putting them away. I left the TV on as I just wanted to change into my pajamas and go back to watch something before bed. But as I reached my door, I heard footsteps outside the front door and knocking. Rolling my eyes, I walked to the front door and unlocked it, ready to tease Doyoung for forgetting something at home again. But it wasn’t Doyoung. I froze as I stared at Wonwoo’s face, goosebumps suddenly covering my body. Then I realized it was Wonwoo and quickly tried to slam the door closed, but Wonwoo was quick to react and he started pushing it back. I hissed and put all of my weight against it, struggling to close it as Wonwoo was pushing just as hard to open it up. I was wearing socks and my right leg slipped on the tiles and Wonwoo gained advantage as my weight shifted. He was able to push it wide enough to slip inside and I quickly abandoned the thought of trying to keep him out of the house and ran to the cupboard full of knives. I quickly opened it and took out the sharpest knife we had and turned around, just in time as Wonwoo almost reached me.

“Stay away!” I pointed the knife at him and he stayed rooted, his sharp eyes gazing into mine, “What do you want? I didn’t say anything to anyone—Doyoung already knew about you! You want your bloody t-shirt?! It’s in my room!”

Wonwoo remained silent and I jerked my hand slightly, showing him that I wasn’t afraid to stab him. I wouldn’t go down without a good fight, in case he thought I was scared of him. Which I was, but I was angrier right now and it ruled over my fear.

“I just came to talk.” Wonwoo said calmly and I chuckled dryly, rolling my eyes.

“Oh, nice talking. This is how you usually do it? You break into someone’s house and get threatened by a knife and then just…talk?”

“I usually don’t get threatened.” Wonwoo answered with a shrug and I huffed, eyes darting towards my phone that was on the coffee table. If I outsmart Wonwoo, I can get to my phone and run inside my room and jump out the window. Then he can try and talk to me, but I won’t be here anymore.

“Well…less stressful for you, I guess.” I tried stalling, gripping the knife tighter, “But I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“Just listen to me, I’m not here to hurt you.” Wonwoo’s voice softened and his eyes did too as he tried pleading me with his gaze. I rolled my eyes and then lunged towards him, without the intention of stabbing him. I just wanted to take him off guard, to distract him. And it worked as he jumped back with a gasp, his sharp eyes widening. I dropped the knife and pushed him hard, making him fall onto his butt. I quickly ran around him and got to the fridge when I was grabbed. Well, obviously my plan wasn’t a smart one and this is why Doyoung checked on me regularly. I really needed someone to look after me. I yelped as Wonwoo’s arms went around my waist and roughly yanked me back, pinning me against the table with his body. He didn’t look very pleased and my heart started beating quickly, thinking of a way to free myself from his grip. I could either kneel him or just try and headbutt him, but it seemed like Wonwoo guessed what I was thinking as his lean and muscular body molded into mine. My wrists were pinned to the table and I shivered, his cologne hitting my nose hard. He smelled like musk and gunpowder again and he was so close I could count his lashes if I wanted to. I craned my head back and tried to move around, but it only made me feel more parts of body and that was too much just yet.

Look at this compromising position, Y/N. All you have to do is lean in and open your knees, isn’t that what you’ve wanted all along? We are guessing Wonwoo wants the same thing…not that we are complaining.

I tried to remain unexpressive as the voices suddenly returned and were very loud, of course they’d come back in a situation like this one.

“Well, this is very uncomfortable.” I said quietly, maintaining the eye contact with Wonwoo. My heart was beating fast and I could feel the heat in my cheeks. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Why do I still like him? After yesterday…how can I still like him?

“Well, you didn’t give me a choice.” Wonwoo muttered, his low voice vibrating against his chest and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” I scoffed and then glared at him, “why would I want to talk to a criminal? Let alone give him a chance to explain himself?”

“Did you let your brother explain himself?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows rose and I glanced away, trying to free my wrists again.

“Kind of…” Wonwoo just hummed and lessened his hold on my wrist so that it didn’t hurt anymore. The bicep he squeezed so hard was now a beautiful shade of green and purple.

“Then it’s my turn—”

“Whatever Wonwoo, I really don’t care. You’re part of the mafia and you robbed the jewelry shops Mark asked me to watch yesterday. And then you had to run away because Mark alerted the police thanks to me and then very sadly you got in the same cab with me. And look at my bicep, you did that.” I snapped, looking down at the bruise as Wonwoo’s gaze followed. His eyebrows furrowed and he sighed, looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” He muttered with remorse as he looked at it again. His words and reaction were genuine but I just rolled my eyes.

“A little late for that, now—” I shoved myself into him, but it did nothing, “Let go of me.”

Wonwoo’s lips pulled in a straight line and he shook his head, seemingly thinking about what to do next. But I started struggling and trying to move him back so that I would be able to knee him. But he probably knew that was what I was trying to do and squeezed my legs together between his.

“God, the second I get out of your hold I will beat you up so badly, Wonwoo, no one will be able to recognize you—” Wonwoo’s deep laughter echoed in the house as I looked at him menacingly. I wasn’t joking, I really wanted to beat him up and I would, but I needed to free myself first.

“I love how you underestimate me; the shock will be bigger once I’m done—” But Wonwoo’s laughter was so contagious that I had to fight back my own. His nose was scrunched up and I just noticed how he wasn’t wearing glasses. His hair was styled back and he seemed to be wearing some fancy clothes, his pants were silky. He was very attractive, but I tried to ignore my sudden thirst for him. So, I looked away and he slowly stopped laughing, my eyes fell on the front door as I tried coming up with another escape route. But on the ground were five white lilies and I felt my mind go blank as I stared at them. There’s no possible way anyone brought those in, Doyoung and I never buy white lilies, and Wonwoo is the only one that just barged in. Wonwoo.

“Oh my God,” I muttered in despair, looking at Wonwoo all frantic, “Did you—bring those flowers? Wonwoo?!”

Wonwoo looked at the flowers and cleared his throat, looking back at me, “Yeah.”

“Oh my God.” I muttered again and felt like a deer caught in headlights. It was Wonwoo all along? What is happening? I don’t understand anything anymore!

Well…at least you found out who your secret admirer is. And it’s Wonwoo, you should be happy it’s him and not some old creep—

“Shut up!” I exclaimed, squeezing my eyes shut, “This can’t be happening. No fucking way.”

Wonwoo looked confused when I opened my eyes and looked at him, “You were breaking in our house for two weeks?!”

“You’re the one to make a scene, huh?” Wonwoo suddenly raised his voice and his eyes narrowed as he started glaring at me, “You’ve been stalking me for two weeks.”

I gaped at him and blinked, taken off guard, “I—I wasn’t—what?”

“Yeah, you really thought I wouldn’t know?” He chuckled unamused, “I’m surprised it took you this long to realize it was me bringing the flowers.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at him confused, “How was I supposed to know?! I thought you had no idea I was watching you—”

“Stalking me.”

“Stalking you, whatever,” I rolled my eyes, trying to make sense of the situation, “It doesn’t give you the right to break in my room and—were you marking your territory or some shit mafias do? Were you showing other mafias that you were to be the one to kill me—”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed and I tried to push him away again, my back was becoming numb, “You fantasize too much. Mafias don’t do that, but—”

“But what?!” I snapped, eyes widening.

“I did think of killing you in the first three days of you stalking me.” Wonwoo finished with a smirk. My heart skipped another beat as I started breathing faster, his musky scent made me feel dizzy.

“What?!” I exclaimed and started struggling against Wonwoo again, trying to free myself, “For God’s sake, I can’t feel my back anymore, Wonwoo!”

He gave me a look that said if I tried running away again he’d tie me to a chair and leave me there until Doyoung returned, he probably would’ve gagged me too, so I just sighed and let go of all muscles, softening my body. Wonwoo’s eyes gazed into mine intently and his hold slowly loosened as he seemed to lean in subconsciously. My eyes fell onto his lips and realized how plump his upper lip was, but we both snapped out if at the same time as he stepped back and I jumped away from the table, breathing hard. I massaged my lower back as best as I could as I licked my lips and looked at Wonwoo with a glare.

“I don’t like what I’m about to say—” And I took a deep breath and watched as Wonwoo started smirking again, “But what if…we both just forget about all the shit we did and…go on and live our lives like we never met. And, I don’t know, get some therapy as we both apparently need it badly.”

My words made Wonwoo laugh again and I actually smiled this time too, feeling tired after all the new information dumped on me.

“I can’t do that,” Wonwoo said once his laughter died down, “I can’t continue living like I never met you.”

I shrugged and ran my hands through my hair, looking away from him, “Well, I can and I will. So, you better do the same or else I’ll tell Doyoung about everything and he’ll be really pissed and won’t care about Mingyu or whoever, yeah?”

Look at our Y/N lying like that, as if all of this didn’t happen because of her.

I felt Wonwoo move closer to me and his fingers ghosted over the bruise on my left bicep, “Can you really pretend I don’t exist? When you started this?”

“I didn’t start shit!” I snapped and turned my body away from his, “I stalked you for two weeks and I won’t do it anymore because I got over you. I always do. It never lasts for long, you’re not special.”

But he is Y/N, you know it. He knows it.

“Really?” Wonwoo muttered with a small smile and I just shrugged, avoiding his gaze, “Because I watched you the whole time we were in the same Coffee Shop. You were following that businessman, working for Mark, I assume. I noticed how you couldn’t stay still and how you whispered things to yourself. How the barista lit up when she saw you and talked to you. If you wouldn’t have stalked me after that day, I would’ve still found you.”

I just gulped and felt all the anger, frustration, fear melt away as I slowly looked at Wonwoo, “But you broke inside my bedroom…to give me flowers…”

My voice was small and he nodded as he stepped closer, placing his palm on my cheek. I almost jumped at how warm his palm was again and tried to ignore the rapid beat of my heart, “And I was wrong to do that…sorry.”

“Sorry for stalking you.” I muttered and a small grin appeared on Wonwoo’s lips as he closed the distance between our bodies again.

“I’m also sorry for the other bad things I did.” Wonwoo added.

“Yeah, fuck you.” I said with a chuckle and his grin widened into a smile.

You’d love that, wouldn’t you, Y/N?

I rolled my eyes at the voices but Wonwoo didn’t react as he leaned down and his red lips pressed against my cheek, making me blush instantly. Why did I forgive him so easily? Maybe because both of us fucked up big time this time.

“I still expect to see you tomorrow at lunch for our date, so tell Mark to stay at home.” My eyes widened as Wonwoo stepped back, letting go of my cheek.

“How do you know—”

“I’m in the mafia, remember? I know everything.” He winked and walked towards the front door.

“And you called me the stalker.” He chuckled as he opened the door and stepped outside.

“Don’t tell Doyoung just yet, he’s very mad for what I did yesterday—”

“Yeah, me too.” I cut him off and Wonwoo gave me an apologetic smile.

“Sleep well.”

“Don’t break in my room anymore!” I called out as he walked down towards the gate, turning around to wave at me. I rolled my eyes and closed the front door, locking it. Jesus, this really is not how I expected things to turn out. I don’t think I need to watch any TV to feel sleepy. This is my cue to rest and worry about what to wear tomorrow for lunch.

You can wear whatever, Wonwoo is head over heels for you, Y/N. And as we’re seeing, you’re too for him.

#bvidzsoo #seventeen scenarios #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen mini series #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #joshua hong #wen junhui #kwon soonyoung #jeon wonwoo #lee jihoon #lee seokmin #kim mingyu #xu minghao #boo seungkwan #hansol vernon chwe #lee chan #seventeen ot13 #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo pairing #wonwoo angst #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo smut #seventeen gang au #seventeen mafia au #wonwoo oneshot #seventeen university au

[anxietysslave]

Fearful. (Ethan Winters x Male!Reader)

Part 2: https://anxietysslave.tumblr.com/post/668205087031705600/fearful-pt-2-ethan-winters-x-malereader

Hello again! This is another imagine for male readers. And just like the last one, if you’d like a female or a non-binary version, let me know. This one was also not requested by anyone.  Y/N means your name, L/N means your last name, B/N means best friend’s name, F/N means fake friend's name Warnings: Self-harm, self-hatred, internal homophobia, a bit of angst,  Bit of backstory; This takes place after RE8, village. Mia and Ethan are also having a lot of trouble in their marriage because Ethan has lost feelings for Mia and is questioning. Oh, and one more thing! Zoe survived!! If you’d like to request something, don’t be shy! I have a lot of time on my hands to write up the request- XD

Y/N’s point of view:

I heard my phone ring, which made me turn my phone on. I saw Ethan was calling me, which made me answer. “Hello Y/N!” Ethan greeted. “Hey, what’s up?” I questioned. “So, Mia and I are going out to dinner, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with. Mia’s bringing Zoe, and wanted me to bring someone as well.” Ethan announced. I bit my lip. “Tonight?” I questioned. “Yes!” He responded. “What time?” I asked, “7.” He responded. 

I glanced towards the clock to see it was only four. “Sure...” I agreed hesitantly. “Good! I’ll see you then?” He replied. “Yeah... Bye.” I blurted before I hung up. I tossed my phone across the bed and sighed. “Something wrong?” B/N asked, “Ethan wants me to go out to dinner with him, Mia, and Zoe.” I announced. 

B/N sighed. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to...” He warned. “I know... But Ethan’s already suspicious of how distant I’ve been. I’m worried he’ll be observant and force me to tell him why I’ve been so distant..” I muttered. He groaned. “You’re really in love with him, aren’t you?” He questioned. “Yes! And that’s the problem!” I growled. 

“He has a wife, a daughter, and... Clearly isn’t gay... I don’t want to take that all away from him, let alone lose him as a friend.” I muttered as I brought my legs up to my chest. “Y/N...” He started. “This is not healthy for you... You’re completely torn, and after you hang out with him, you are always sad... Do you think that’s healthy?” He questioned. 

“N-No...” I stuttered. “Exactly. And not to mention, you end up drinking away your sorrow’s because Mia is always trying to break your friendship up. I think you should really take a step back and find someone who loves you back and doesn’t bring you down.” He suggested. “Ethan doesn’t bring me down! He... I don’t know what I’d do without him... He’s been my best friend since we were kids, and has always brought me up... It’s just... It’s just Mia. That’s the only thing that’s bringing me down.” I explained. 

“But you’re still being brought down. So, more than anything, you need a step back from them. At least until your mental health is doing better.” He suggested. “You know what? No. I’m getting sick and tired of you and all of our friends saying the same bullshit!” I snapped. “Oh, he’s only bringing you down and never up. Oh, you need to take a step back before you end up hurt,” I mimicked. 

“Well, guess what!? None of you understand how it feels when you care deeply for someone! When everything was going to shit, Ethan and I had each other back’s! Do you really think I’m just going to let him go?” I questioned. B/N stood up. “You do not need to snap at me. I’m only trying to help you! But fine, if you don’t want my help, then go ahead. Die.” He spoke angrily as he stomped out. I gripped onto my knees tighter as tears fell from my face. 

*Time skip...*

I got into the car and noticed it was just Ethan. “Mia and Zoe are meeting us there.” He explained. I nodded as I buckled up. Ethan glanced at me. “You okay?” He questioned. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Why?” I asked gently. “You look frustrated. Are you sure you’re fine?” He questioned. “Yes, I’m fine.” I lied. 

He dropped it and pulled out of the driveway. “How’s Rose doing?” I questioned. “She’s doing good. In fact, she’s been learning quickly!” Ethan exclaimed. He chuckled. “Mia keeps saying how she’s like the female version of me.” He chuckled. I laughed. “Yeah, she has your blood after all.” I replied. “Speaking of which, you’ve always been good at giving advice...” He started. “Mia's and I’s anniversary is coming up, and I really don’t know what to do for it...” He muttered. 

I felt the smile fall off my face as I looked out the window. “Well... What has she always liked? Gifts, homemade things? Going out?” I questioned. He chuckled awkwardly. “Well... Usually she’s liked staying at home... Because, well, you know..” He muttered. I bit my lip as I felt my heart sting. 

‘It still hurts knowing what he is referring too... Mia is truly a lucky girl...’

“Then maybe just set up the place to look romantic. Or do something cheesy like star gazing. Many people like that.” I spoke up. “That is a good idea... If I took her out, what do you think would be the best thing to do?” He questioned. “Well, it depends on if you’d rather do something nostalgic, or something like spending money.” I replied softly. 

“Because if it’s nostalgic,you could always take her there and walk her through the memories while maybe also doing something like a picnic, or... I don’t know...” I muttered. “And you already know what spending money looks like for dates. Move theatres, going out to eat, all the shit.” I pointed out. “I will have to think about this more... She’s been through so much, and is such strong woman. So I want to give her what I can, you know?” He questioned. “Yeah...” I trailed off.

‘You never have cared for me much... Not after Mia came around. I followed you through the Baker's house and the village... Is that not suffering enough...?’

“Have you asked out that guy you said you liked?” Ethan suddenly spoke. “W-What? What are you talking about?” I stuttered as I glanced at him. “B/N said you had a crush on a guy.” He pointed out. “When did he say that???” I asked, “Just today. Why?” He questioned. “No reason...” I muttered. “But no.” I denied. 

“Why not? I’m sure he’d love you!” He exclaimed. I glanced back out the window. “You don’t know that...” I muttered. “How do you know that?” He questioned. “Because he’s straight...” I mumbled. “Are you sure he is? I mean, what if he was bisexual or pansexual?” He questioned. “He’s not. Trust me.” I whispered. “B-” He started. “He does not like me. End of story.” I spoke sternly. “Okay, what’s going on, Y/N? Something’s been different about you for the past few months...” He questioned. “Nothing’s different. You’re just thinking things.” I tried to blow it off. 

He did not respond to that, but pulled into the parking lot. “We’re here.” He announced gently. I unbuckled the seatbelt and tried to open the door. But it was locked. “Ethan, you still need to unlock the door.” I pointed out. “I know. Before we go in, I wanted to say, you can always tell me anything. I’m not trying to force you to tell me. But I just want you to know that.” He spoke gently. 

I nodded. “Alright, I know.” I blew off. “We don’t want to keep Mia or Zoe waiting, so let’s get going, alright?” I questioned. He sighed, but unlocked the door. I opened the door and stepped outside. Ethan did the same before we walked inside the building. Ethan scanned the area and saw Mia sitting there. So he led me past the tables over there. 

I sat across from Mia while Ethan sat next to her. “Hey, baby.” He coo’d as he placed a kiss to her cheek. I glanced away painfully. “Hey hun, hey Y/N!” she greeted. “Hello.” I whispered. “Where’s Zoe?” I questioned. “Oh, she’s just running a bit late. Something about her lover.” Mia explained. “Zoe has a lover? Who is he??” Ethan questioned. 

“Oh, you didn’t hear? B/N and Zoe finally got together! I think they make the cutest couple!” Mia exclaimed. “You are not wrong. I’ll have to call B/N later and congratulate them.” Ethan decided. “What about you, Y/N? Have you found the man of your dreams?” Mia questioned Staley. I glanced at her, and could easily tell she wasn’t interested. “U-Um, no. Not really.” I denied. “Actually, he does like this one guy. He’s just too shy to admit it.” Ethan teased. 

‘Ethan, shut the fuck up! Mia’s not dumb, she’ll get the hint and hate me more... Please, please, please just shut the fuck up...’

“Oh? How come you haven’t asked him out yet?” Mia asked as her eyes narrowed. “He thinks they're straight.” Ethan responded. “Well, if they are, just know to not force yourself upon them. Especially if they’re in a relationship. Because you’ll just make a fool out of yourself.” She insulted. “He wouldn’t hit on someone in a relationship.” Ethan denied. “I’m not saying he would! I’m just warning him. You never know what trouble you can get yourself into, you know?” She played it off. I bit the inside of my cheek.

‘This is going to be long...’

*Time skip again... Sorry....*

‘This whole time I’ve felt so left out... Zoe cancelled, and Mia’s just been insulting me this whole time. Ethan hasn’t noticed a damn thing and instead has only cared about Mia.. I think I’m just going to go... They clearly don’t want me here...’

“I’m going to go use the bathroom.” I announced as I stood up. “Okay! Don’t be too long.” Ethan replied. “No, it’s fine, take as long as you need.” Mia spoke. She was smirking at me in victory as she cuddled into Ethan. I glanced away from them and rushed away from the table. I continued walking through the building like I was going to the bathroom, but left out the building. 

I sighed in frustration as rain poured onto my skin. “Fuck this.” I growled as I stormed through the rain. Glimpses of B/N and I’s argument rang through my head, along with the events that just unfolded during the dinner. It only pushed me to walk faster as the rain pounded onto my skin and drenched me from head to toe. But I really did not care. I wanted to get hypothermia and die. 

And with those thoughts, I didn’t even realize I was back home till I pushed open the front door. I slammed it behind me and locked it. I marched through the house as tears fell from my face. I didn’t care that I knocked over a few items and instead walked up to my room, where I flopped onto the leather couch. Not really caring that I got it wet. 

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see I had missed a bunch of messages from Ethan. I didn’t open them, and instead scrolled through instgram. I was lazily reading the posts when I noticed F/N had posted something. I felt my heart clench as I read what it said. 

‘“It’s sad that one of my friends is so love struck that it’s pathetic. He can’t live a second without them, and won’t listen to anyone. It’s his lose when he ends up committing suicide. He’s seriously the stupidest person on this planet, and really shouldn’t even exist. It s that, or maybe he should cut his wrists up some more.’”

I sat my phone on the couch and stood up. I then walked over to the drawer in my room and opened it. I pulled out a razor and sat on my bed. “I seriously should’ve expected this. No one has ever cared for me. And the people who do care for me, I always end up ruining it...” I whispered as I lifted my sleeve and dragged the blade along my arm. I continued to do this for a while until the tears stopped falling, and the pain was not as bad as it was before.

I then cleaned everything up and put the razor back in the drawer. I closed it, and was going to go to bed when I heard my phone go off. I walked over to it and picked it up. Zoe was calling me this time. So, I answered it. 

“Thank god you picked up!” Zoe’s voice rang. “Where have ya been!? Ethan went to look for ya, and couldn’t find ya in the bathroom. In fact, he couldn’t find ya anywhere. And ya weren’t picking up...” she spoke. “It’s a long story. But I really do not want to talk about it right now.” I dismissed. I pulled the phone away from my face. “I’m going to bed.” I announced. I heard her call my name, but I had already hung up the phone. I then sat it back on the couch and walked over to the bed where I laid down on it. I huffed to myself. 

‘This is not something I want to deal with right now...’

(Thank you for reading! This is only the first part of this little saga. I don’t know how long I’m going to make it, but the next one should be published on Friday. So lemme know what you guys think! Have a good day!)

#Re8 #re7 #ethanwinters #ethan winters x male reader