#I don’t have too much else on them yet

[cheaploafs]

late night cuddles

#coffee talk #hyde #gala #galahyde #hyde coffee talk #gala coffee talk #coffee talk game #art tag #you all are coming with me on the journey of learning how to draw them <3 enjoy #also did i go overboard with thr chest hair? maybe. i don’t regret it though he’s a werewolf let him be hairy #anyway i love that vampires in this universe dont have pointy ears yet here i am. because i cant control myself #i already hc’d that hyde was a cuddler when it comes to sleeping so it was nice of gala to confirm kt by compairing him to a cat thank you #they are just.. you give me a game with a vampire/werewolf bond im going to go bonkers over them .. chefs kiss #i like to think hyde is like a heavy sleeper because how else do vampires sleep for liek decades in coffins you know #i mean they probably dont in this game obviously but listen man shsjdkfk #and for gala i think he’s more of the opposite #because werewolves tend to be restless so just very light sleeper maybe even has insomnia too #overall i am rotating them so much in my brain .. like i just think theyre neat #also saw in the little pixle arts for the game that hyde has piercings as well ive never bene more happier in my life like YES.. YESSSSS

[echojedis]

How do people do OCs, I can never get them to click properly

#i think i’m holding back too much the idea is there in my head #but when i’m drawing i’m conscious that i might want to share this stuff at some point so the whole time i’m thinking #about making a good design and i don’t want to give them anything vaguely similar to anyone else’s oc because i don’t want to step on toes #so they end up barely a visage of what i want to be creating #idkkk #the idea i have in my head is an oc who’s a horse girl LMAO their companion is a fathier who they have a very strong inseparable bond with #i am a lifelong horse person and i grew up reading pony club secrets and watching stuff like flicka so i feel like i can bring #something personal to that concept #but i don’t want them to be a mando. i don’t know much about mando culture and i cba to learn so that was the one i did not want hem to be #and yet. i can only imagine them with mandalorian armour #they’re the same species as dryden vos. there’s next to no lore on his species and they’re non human in a way that’s easy to draw #so i can just make stuff up and not be constrained by canon #them being near human is also relevant to their story. they spent a lot of time around humans and they’re close enough to human to get by #but not human enough that there’s something off. they don’t quite fit in and they always felt on the outside looking in #hence why they prefer the company of animals #maybe i’ll have them formerly working in fathier racing but that might be too projecty #this is so rambly i apologise i’ve been very talkative on here recently #ohh this is very off the cuff but maybe they’re the child of loyal mandalorians but never really subscribed to it themselves #having spent a lot of time around fathiers also meant they spent less time around mandalorians. so despite technically being mando #and wearing the armour they don’t really identify very strongly as a mandalorian

[iamthemaestro]

another thing I wish cis people would understand is that I include she/her in my “all pronouns” so that people can use it in a fun eccentric effeminate way. not so that they have a set of pronouns they can default to because it feels most comfortable to them based on how they perceive me.

#this is probably one of the things I struggle most with in this pronoun situation #because I pitched it to everyone as ‘I don’t care you don’t have to change anything about how you address me this is just another way to’ #when now I look back and realize that was 90% intended to cater to other people in order to not make it too ‘inconvenient’ to them #to my friends who regularly switch up my pronouns: I love you beyond words #you understood me without me even having to tell you #you saw right through that excuse I made to myself and to everyone else #now will I do anything about it? probably not #not yet at least #but I have to admit it to myself at some point and that point is now #that’s the thing about not caring. so often it’s just a guise for something you’re afraid to admit #and some people don’t care about pronouns which I think is cool and sexy #but more and more often I think that’s not true about me no matter how much I once felt that way #gender #mine

[coulrology]

So what's the lore with Juniper n their relationship with Vitimir n Hettie?

WELL for both, their relationships go back to their school days! Although the difference being that Juniper and Hettie went to St. Epiderm together, while Vitimir went to a different school (Glandus at the time he met Juniper).

I’ve briefly touched on how Juniper and Vitimir met here, so that explains their first meeting. To reiterate, Vitimir was a shy kid that didn’t really have any friends growing up (aside from bugs/whatever little creatures they spent their time around) and was bullied frequently, so that single positive interaction with Juniper, though small, really stuck with him and he never forgot it. Juniper didn’t forget it either, but being the sociable type meeting and talking to lots of different people, that moment sorta blended in with the rest of their memories. So fast forward to them both working as Coven Heads at the same time, Vitimir immediately recognizes Juniper. Despite Juniper changing a lot since his child self, that one good memory left such a big impact on Vitimir as a kid that he still held that soft spot for them. So of course, when Juniper eventually approached him on their own time, Vitimir already had this layer of vulnerability. Even though they might not have recognized him, from Vitimir’s perspective, there was that sense of familiarity and comfort; Juniper might have changed, but that kind kid was still in him. Now that they have the chance, Vitimir wants to actually get to know this one person who had plagued so many of their thoughts as a kid. And the rest is history!!

As for Hettie! Again, she and Juniper attended St. Epiderm together. Hettie was just as terrifying as a kid as she is now. She was everything- a jock, a princess, a bully, a weird girl, whatever you can think of. Though she’s very open about who she is, everyone around her was always so intimidated by the fact that she was unpredictable (and the fact that she’s both the smartest AND strongest person you’d ever meet is terrifying enough on its own). Most everyone- except for Juniper. To Juniper, Hettie was always such a character. She’s always been so confident and unapologetic, able to command people’s attention without even saying a word. Her unpredictability made everything she did so interesting. Juniper so deeply admired this about Hettie. And the fact that she’s 100% his type only drew them closer to her. Hettie was Juniper’s first ever crush, and that love Juniper had for her never faded. Though as kids, they weren’t in the same social circles, they did cross paths a lot, whether it was through Sonia (Scooter Crane’s daughter and childhood best friend to Juniper, who was also in the Healing Track), or Juniper getting injured for whatever ridiculous reasons. At this age, Hettie didn’t reciprocate her feelings (yet), but she had a fondness for Juniper because he was so different from the other kids for the fact alone that they had a (very obvious) crush on her. And while their crush may have caused them to do embarrassing things, and foolishly being used as her own guinea pig from time to time to practice her magic on, Hettie had cared about Juniper. To her, he always made life more fun and interesting. Fast forward to them as Coven Heads- Hettie has grown a stronger affection for Juniper. He’s changed over the years, but he still makes life so much more fun and interesting. Perhaps now, Hettie admires Juniper for the same exact reasons they always have her. They’re still a bit pathetic around her, but Hettie finds it endearing. Not to mention, Juniper still makes for a good doll to experiment on, and she takes good care of her favorite dolls ;-)

#ask #juniper jazz #vitimir #hettie cutburn #junimir #medical mirror #I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION I tried my best to make it sound coherent and not ramble on about certain things 🙏 #tried to talk about hettie more bc i don’t think I’ve explained much of the medical mirror stuff publicly yet #or. anything tbh 😭😭 #BUT I MEAN I GOTTA GET EVERYONE ON THE SAME PAGE EVENTUALLY SO THIS IS A START 🙏🙏 #I can always expand on anything else if anyone wants me to and is curious :3c #you KNOW how much I love yapping about my stupid peacock I didn’t put all my blood sweat and tears into him for nothin 🫰 #ALSO!! FUN LIL THING I WAS GOING TO MENTION BUT DECIDED NOT TO IN THE END BC IT WOULDVE BEEN TOO MUCH- #long story short lets just say hettie chose to hang out w juniper during the night of a school dance 🤭 #THAT’S ALL I’LL SAY FOR NOW ABOUT THAT i have Art Ideas for that i -really- want to get to one day #okay i gotta stfu now i told myself i was gonna hold back on the yapping 😭😭😭 #OKAY WAIT ONE LAST THING- #idk if anyone actually cares but reminder that I’ve got both junimir and med. mirror playlists if you wanna get a better idea of them!! #theyre not perfect but theyre still fun Okay I’ll shut up for real fr now ✌️

[warriorsatthedisco]

Work is getting awful enough to make me want to be violent

#same shit different day #of doing other people’s jobs that I am specifically and literally not paid to do #I am only paid for what I sell and I’m out here doing everyone else’s FUCKING job #and no one gives a shit because they’re salary #like I know I assume responsibility for my pay by being in Sales™️ but it did not use to be this bad #I am not asking for much. why do I have to do this shit #and it’s not even just my own coworkers that I’m doing their fucking job! I’m doing the job of people at other goddamn companies! #fucking Epson! you know; the billion dollar printing company?! I’m doing their fucking jobs too! #it is not that fucking hard to procure an MSDS at the company you work for! it’s really hard to procure one when you don’t work for them! #and yet I managed it after 3 weeks! meanwhile it took them literally - and I can’t stress this enough - 10 minutes #I’m going to start breaking shit #I have to work late today too because I’ve been busy doing shit that isn’t my responsibility #personal #and yes. my tummy is upset too despite the fact that I ate the exact same meal for breakfast and had no issues #I’m going to rip out my organs

[devilishdelights]

unpopular opinion…. i don’t like those touchstarved VA’s that have been circulating 😭 i think they’re too gruff and deep for leander and ais. Leander has a smooth voice to me that’s very casual.

and Ais has a very slight gruff but it’s not as intense or deep. it’s kinda crackly but medium in tone.

there’s this voice in my head that’s Mhin to a T, it’s gotta be someone i’ve heard before but i can’t remember!! grouchy for sure

kuras is soft spoken yet authoritative, a bit cheeky in tone, maybe breathy. i think he has those breathy laughs. He speaks clearly though.

vere is the only one i kinda vibe with, being a honeyed sultry voice with some snark.

#ugh ok i really do have voices for them in my head #maybe i just don’t like the way VA’s enunciate because it feels so unnatural #this is abt those people who recorded the video of the demo not the headcanons going around i haven’t watched those yet #JD from heathers is a very good example for leander to me. not exact i don’t think but the closest #Maybe think of Zuko with a deeper voice for Ais… i’m not sure. #now i wanna find shit just for myself #i hope they’re not all british though. please don’t #it’s a fantasy world so everyone’s gotta have a british accent. nooooo stop. anything else #also the 2nd tag isn’t referring to those VA’s specifically i meant it in a general sense !!! #they always gotta enunciate in a way to be heard clearly which is very understandable but sometimes it feels like too much to me #third tag is for why i made the post

[skyward-floored]

Sometimes I get the silly hee hoo urge to try and draw like a little comic or something with my links and then I decide that even if I ever did I could never post it because sharing it would be too much for my poor anxious heart

#I’d explode #plus half of them don’t have designs.... #and I’m insecure about my art skills #plus I’m too busy drawing my silly cat comics to draw coa ones #sorry don’t mind me I am tired and posting whatever comes into my head #because I’m too tired to do much else #and haven’t convinced myself to get up and put on my pjs yet #rambles from the floor

[fvckmyaesthetic]

#i wish so much of my life wasn’t defined by shit that happened when I was 16 fucking years old #but here I am. just turned 21 and all I can think about is shit from five years ago #i just want to be my own person and to feel comfortable around other people #but everyone is in such a hurry to fall in love and declare their lifelong feelings for each other #i don’t even feel attraction to people. i just want someone to hold me #i want someone to support me through my shit so I don’t feel like I have to face it alone all of the time #i just want a nice comfortable hug to come home to at the end of a long day #and someone to sit with while we watch a show together to relax. even if we don’t actually say anything to each other #i don’t want to think about my whole life or the future ahead. i just want some sense of comfort that I am not alone every day #that sense of comfort you get when you look stupid and ridiculous but your rave camping neighbor asks you to kiss them #and you say yes because it’s their yearly tradition and you’re happy to help. but that’s the most nervous and most loved you’ve felt in a + #+ Minute. and now it’s just a core memory that you think about when things are shitty #man I just want a hug. why is that so hard. and why do I always have to be the strong stable one in the hug? #i want to feel like it’s okay to fall apart and finally get the support and comfort that I need #it’s too hard holding everyone else up all the time. i just want someone to hold me #i don’t know if I will ever love anyone but I just want to feel Close to someone. like I’m not in it alone. why is it So Hard to ask for a+ #+simple little hug in life. it shouldn’t be so hard and yet here I am. sad and alone and I will probably always be this way

[micamicster]

I just am obsessed with any story that’s about people who love each other but cannot do justice to that love because they have a duty to something else first. That there is something else fundamental and demanding that they must choose over love every time. To be forced to choose one irreplaceable thing over another etc etc

#For Jiang Cheng that’s his responsibility to his sect and to their people #and the burnt and fragile remains of their home #who are all counting on him—an orphaned teenager—to protect and lead them #And as much as he might want to throw that all away to be by his brother’s side #or as much as he might want to help wen qing and wen ning #they can never come first. because first he has to keep his people safe. he can’t put them at risk #no matter how much he loves his brother #he’s not powerful enough yet for taking a stand to do anything other than get his sect burned to the ground a second time #and that turns into him standing in the burial mounds near tears as he tells his brother ‘I can’t protect you anymore’ #Which is its own bitter irony because you know wwx is thinking that it’s not his little brother’s job to protect him) #(with no idea how much he already has) #meanwhile for wei wuxian his primary duty is to help the wens #because he protected his brother at an unspeakable cost and his brother protected the sect and they’re going to be fine without him #(who only endangers them more by being around them) #which means now Wei Wuxian’s first and most important duty #is to protect this group of people who have absolutely no one else in the world who will stand with them #So even though it breaks his heart to leave his home and family he has to do what is right #It’s why I liked wen qing so much too. she and jiang cheng understood this about each other #while i don’t think jiang cheng and wei wuxian understand this about each other at all #because jc is standing there like when did i and my sister and our clan stop being your most important #and wwx is like I have already given everything I can give to you and I can only make things worse for you. but these people?I can help them #so i have to help them #as you guys can see. im not doing well #anyway watch black sails #the untamed

[theamazingannie]

Not my mom asking me what my brother’s email and password is and me knowing it lmao. Why does no one around here even acknowledge that I’m more of a parent to my brother than they are

#she’s mad that he listens to me better than he listens to her #not only do not constantly yell at him and not bother to work with him #but Im the one who wakes him up in the morning #Im the one that makes sure he showers and goes to bed at a decent time #Im the one who helps him with his homework #hell I’m the only one who bothers to make sure he does it BEFORE he gets the zero in the grade book #and he doesn’t even see me as an authority figure because they don’t respect me so why should he #if I try to punish him or reinforce his behavior in any way they always overrule me #and then give him a worse reinforcement tactic that clearly doesn’t work #like i really feel like we’d be better off if they just fucked off and left me completely in charge of him #they refuse to take any accountability yet blame me for anything he does wrong #they are literally such shit parents and it took them so long to realize it because my sister and I parented ourselves #but my brother was spoiled too much growing up so he never learned how and they never learned how to parent #and refuse to learn now #they get mad if I try to offer any tips despite being the only one who’s ever successful #they ignore the fact that I have a degree in psychology and took classes in childhood development because I don’t have the experience #but apprently they don’t have the experience either or else they’d be better at this! #Ugh it’s so annoying watching them do everything wrong and being comoelehlt powerless to do anything #i cant imagine how bad it would be if I wasn’t here #they’d probably beat him constantly since I’m the only one that can stop them #the only thing they really provide is transportation and money #and still they’re too lazy to drive us around anywhere half the time and are constantly blowing their money on frivolous things #so we don’t have enough sometimes to pay bills or have nice dinners #that *I* make btw cuz they’re too lazy to #which is fine cuz I don’t work but before I moved back in they were eating ramen noodles and mac and cheese every day #and have the audacity to say I don’t do shit around here #they would FLOUNDER without me #god i cant wait until I can get out of here but I literally don’t know if I ever will cuz ive not been well mentally #and theyre behavior isn’t helping

[sunglassesmish]

… thinking about booking jib13 tickets instead of crossroads 6 because the timing just happened to be PERFECT for me to go to jib in june next year… omg

#i don’t know how much they cost because you can’t book them yet #but i might. #if someone else wants to go maybe #and if they aren’t too expensive #i will have to see in a few weeks time

[deancaskiss]

sometimes I am hit with a wave of ‘how does anyone like my writing?’ because I’ll look at my boring bland basic flat fics and look at the beauty and melody of some else’s details and descriptions and emotions that are leaps and bounds more beautiful than anything I could ever write no matter how hard I try and I wonder why I even do what I do because how could I ever compare? and I just feel really unworthy like I do not see a single good thing about the things I write

#bex talks #the pendulum has swung many times today between ‘im so excited to be writing’ and absolutely loathing anything I ever write because its awfu #*awful #sometimes I feel really proud of the things I’ve written and then I’ll look at some other fic and it’s 10000000 times more beautiful #why am I not better? why can’t I be like that kind of writer instead? #2:30am thoughts after spending 5 hours researching medical papers for a presentation and my brain is fried and im tired and feel dreadful #this isn’t me begging for sympathy. it’s just the struggling thoughts im having & I had to say it out loud to relieve whats weighing me down #sometimes these feelings are too much to carry on my own #and it helps to form those struggles into coherent thoughts and put them into the universe #like letting go of all the worst parts stuck in my head until I can find catharsis #I’m trying. even if I’m not succeeding yet. im trying. im begging. im screaming. #I think sometimes I have so much positivity that I give to everyone else and I just don’t give any to myself

[jeezypetes]

Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about

#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people #think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it #anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my #mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has #gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their #retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i #moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die #i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve #spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for #years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy #future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s #not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option. #god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it #i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their #second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates #hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats #I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but #testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically #that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that

[taketheringtolohac]

what if I just screamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and cried!!!!!!!!

#local girl forced to deal with everything on its own due to incompetency of parents 5 dead 24 injured. #I’m all of the ppl who were harmed. i am. i just wish I could ask someone about things and get a good answer #that didn’t make me feel like. well. you know. but yeah. #and then INVITING THEMSELVES UP FOR MY BIRTHDAY. #like. yeah I don’t have plans and I won’t have friends up there yet but also. maybe ask me first instead of just deciding 😔 #but also I might not even be able to do any of that bc ! none of this might happen! #bad things just keep happening and it keeps making me just. want to quit the whole process and stay here and give up #but I already bought the car so now I have to commit and just. yeah. yeah. i wanna scream #i am trying to vent less on the internet but also there is nowhere else to put this!!!!! i don’t have ppl to vent to so now this is my diary #but yeah. I’m just. going crazy. i know I should be doing my own research but also god would it kill you to even try. #like literally no effort has ever been made to help me it’s just an afterthought of like oh have you thought about x when I thought abt x #like weeks ago. and it’s always been this way. or me going yes I’ve thought abt x and them going oh good and then not offering any more help #i would just like to be given proper guidance once in my life. just once. #that didn’t feel like ripping my heart and all my guts out of my body. like just once in my life yk is it too much to ask for #but no I’m the only one with any fucking vision around here and I hate it so much #whatever. it’s fine. I’ll suffer through another day tomorrow. its fucking fine.

[insomnia-productions]

.

#not to dot post but #why is that. at any given moment. almost all of the time. my mind is actively searching for reasons to hate myself #im not sure how long it’s been like this but. long. #i’ll go over the same things over and over again. thought spirals that i have memorized by now #and the second one starts to recede i will find another - new or old - to take its place #why do i hate myself so much? why do i seek out reasons to hate myself? why can i never stop my mind from doing it? #im so tired of having spirals. or else spending huge amounts of energy trying to avoid or preempt them #i thought i was getting better #there was like a month this semester. month and a half maybe. i was doing okay #but if i trace it back to at least my earliest memory of this - in the grand scheme of things it’s only getting worse #im worse #i can’t even tell if im being irrational or if i really should hate myself #part of me wants to go to therapy. although i can’t yet - not until September. i don’t have time this summer for it #but then most of me thinks i have no valid reason to go #not to be all ‘i dont deserve to go to therapy’ but like. literally. i don’t. #so now it’s midnight the night before i start my internship. my first paid job #and im still awake. down another thought spiral because i so stupidly decided not to put on my usual distraction video essays #to fall asleep to #and naturally i immediately managed to descend into an hour long spiral #so too late to use my distractions now. #gotta be up at 6:30 and im willing to bet my actual limbs that i won’t fall asleep before 2

[buriesitsteeth]

just venting again I’m sorry

#okay so this is going to sound whiny of me idk I’m sorry I’m like this I really am #ik none of you follow me to hear about this shit and I’m sorry for constantly whining about things I don’t like being like this #I just have so much going on in my personal life and then also nothing at all #I’m just plagued by constant chronic loneliness and it hits me so hard some days that it’s like physical pain #I can’t even talk myself around by saying ‘you do have people that care!’ because I really don’t anymore #everyone’s too busy with their own shit and I find it hard to talk directly about my feelings #I downplay or switch topics or focus on talking about them #and then I get upset because they don’t understand or don’t think it’s serious #but I don’t know how to say I feel so hollow and breakable and at the same time full to bursting with sadness and grief and anger and #self hatred stronger than I’ve ever felt before #and if I try once or twice to express this crushing feeling of shitiness #and you don’t understand or listen my brain will shut down the idea entirely #and prevent me from reaching out again for a long time #I just feel like I’m so inconsequential and ywt at the Same time I’m the one cog still turning to keep everyone else going #like I’m nothing and yet too much at once #I don’t know. I feel like I’m on the edge of Something massive and irreversible and I don’t like it #I feel like I’m also on the precipice between never ever trusting anyone again and diving head first into trusting Anyone #that bothers and trusting them too much. caring too much again in the hopes that I do get hurt for a final time and learn my lesson #I don’t know. and I don’t like having these fits of sounding fucking crazy on here and I’m sorry again for sounding like this this isn’t who #I am I promise im just struggling I think. but I don’t know how to fix it. it feels like some sort of like… #fatal flaw in me somewhere. I don’t know.