#I didn’t read the desc of the movie help
Me watching Ladies in Lavender for the plot:
Karasuno x witch s/o
Desc: I practice witchcraft and didn’t really feel like there are enough of these types of spiritual/witchy headcanons, so I made some. Please take into consideration that this is my first time doing this, and enjoy!
Low-key wouldn’t believe you
Probably kinda confused
Would think about it later and would be like so that explains the candles
Wouldn’t take long after that and would be really accepting
probably wants to see it-
Either impressed or confused by everything in your grimoire
Would probably end up asking for something to calm down Noya and Tanaka
Or good luck on a game
And let’s be honest, you’d low key jinx the other team
Like, not anything that would hurt them, but the ball just randomly goes to the side.
Or their spikes going just slightly out of bounds.
After this keeps happening, he’d just look up the stands to see you muttering something under your breath while staring at the other team
Would probably confront you about it
Might not ask you to stop though-
Probably doesn’t want the team to find out because they’d flip out
But they do
And they flip out
Would probably ask for different readings for games and how to help teach someone something
Seriously though, it’s suspicious how you tell him you practice witchcraft and he’s like “oh yeah, cool, can I get back to studying.”
Once he’s done though, he starts asking questions. So many questions.
And when you bring up kitchen witchcraft, he just lights up
Okay but like, if you two don’t make way too much bread together then what, pray tell, are you doing?
Also, he is freakishly good at rune casting. You cannot tell me I am wrong.
Your deities (if you work with them) love him.
And he’d ask about them too. He’s probably not too good at communicating with spirits alone, though.
You guys would do ritual baths, though.
He’s so aesthetic though, and when he’s looking at witchy aesthetics and sees it, he just goes, “Y/n. Here. now.”
Would not so subtly say that he wanted to learn how to make one.
He ends up learning witchcraft too because he keeps doing little parts of it, and you have to teach him a few things so that he doesn’t mess something up, and then he ends up full on practicing it.
This is how the team finds out. They’ve seen you two hanging out, so Noya and Tanaka send Hinata as a spy. They bribed him with meat buns.
He ends up hiding behind a tree while ya’ll are walking around in a forest, picking flowers and talking witchcraft.
Hinata ends up screaming some type of gibberish and dragging you guys back to meet the team.
They are so confused.
He’s so calm about it though, just like, “This is my s/o, y/n, now back to what we were talking about.” You guys end up talking about your full moon ritual right in front of the team.
All hell breaks loose when they question what you guys are talking about and you just say, “Witchcraft.”
You two are officially the power couple no one messes with.
Like,, one witch is dangerous if pissed off. But there are two witches. And they are dating. Go against one of you guys, and suddenly they have four deities after them.
And the entire volleyball team.
You have to kinda edge it on
Mention all the things you do kinda casually
Like seeing a crystal and listing off its uses
And after a while be like “oh yeah, you know all my hobbies and collections. I kinda practice witchcraft.”
You’d have to debunk everything he knows about it
Then he’d get it
He’d be kinda scared that you can curse
But would see everything else you can do and accept it
Okay, but hear me out here: anti-anxiety jars
He would learn more about witchcraft because he knows it can be dangerous and would low-key ask for one.
*excited y/n noises*
Would definitely meditate with you.
The team finds out when he slips up.
You go to pick him up from the gym, and Suga goes, “Hey Asahi, try not to stress out too much about the game tomorrow.”
He responds with, “Don’t worry, I’m meditating with y/n today and they’re going to do a spell to help me.”
[silence of realization]
Everyone asks him questions. You just walk in like, “Yo, Asahi, ready to go?”
“Woah Asahi, how d'you get a s/o that hot?”
Chaos erupts and you end up having to drag Asahi out of there, and it’s then that everyone realizes they still don’t have answers.
“Can you do a taroT reading?” he cannot pronounce tarot for the life of him
“Do you have a pointy hat?”
“Can I ride your broom?”
You definitely have to explain everything the movies got wrong though.
Will ask you to do a spell to make Tsukishima nicer.
I will fight you on that.
Low key shows you off to everyone.
And is like “my s/o is a witch”
If no one would believe him, you’d probably do something
Imagine the team being like “you can’t be a witch, witchcraft isn’t real, then the lights going out in the gym.”
He’d try to learn it at some point or another.
And would end up failing miserably.
Probably has to call you up to catch the demon he summoned.
Why did he summon a demon? You’ll never know.
When you get there though. . . there’s wax on everything.
And I mean e v e r y t h i n g.
Somehow it’s on the ceiling. It’s all over the curtains. It got in his hair.
Would watch in awe as you fix everything.
Please do not do spirit work while he’s in a five-mile radius.
He’d burst into the room like “YO, DOES THE SPIRIT KNOW HOW TO SHAKE ASS-”
He pissed off the spirit and his ass hurt for a week after that-
The first time you tell him, he just laughs it off.
“You’re literally the nicest person ever y/n, there’s no way you could be a witch.”
Until he buys you coffee one day and walks to your house to surprise you.
He walks in and starts noticing the incense everywhere.
And your excessive plant collection, and tea collection, and crystal collection-
He tries to bring you your coffee and mayhap walks in while you’re in the middle of a spell.
And then a spirit gets loose in the house and you can’t find any of your jewelry for a week.
You end up having to manifest it back after a while.
Still can’t find that earring though. . .
Would definitely believe you after that.
If you work for deities, it is over for this boy.
“wAIT A MINUTE,, YOU WORK WITH GODS?!?!?”
“Umm. . . yeah?”
Is so proud of you and is impressed by literally everything.
Will cry if you make him anything
You go to introduce yourself to the team with him one time and everyone already knows you.
Kinda creepy, but it’s just because Tanaka will not stop talking about you.
They notice how much better he plays while you’re at practice
They beg you to start coming to games. And when you do and they completely dominate Alba Josiah, you’re officially required to attend all games ever.
Not like you have any problem with it-
They do kinda wonder why Oikawa’s serve did nothing though-
One day though, you are talking to Tanaka about how the new moon is just as important as the full moon but no one will acknowledge it and he’s aggressively agreeing.
Noya sneaks up with the intention of scaring both of you, and then you just hear from behind you, “Hey y/n,, why do you care so much about the moon?”
Suddenly the wind starts going crazy and you shout in an annoyed voice, “Cut it out.”
The wind stops and you just smile at him, “Witchcraft.”
This boy literally drags you to the gym with Tanaka trailing behind ya’ll.
He gets there, stops, and just goes, “Y/n’s a witch.”
This dude could go two ways.
Laughing and telling you you’re crazy,, or bringing out a list of people to hex.
I feel like he’d be good at tarot reading and find a way to make the cards even more insulting.
“The cards said it.” Becomes his number one excuse.
Would remind you of stuff really subtly so he could help you without seeming too nice.
Something like, “Hey, what do you do for the full moon again?” around two days before so you wouldn’t get that panic of having no clue what you’re going to do for it.
The team only finds out about you due to the second-years stalking him after they see him being nice to you and then they bring you to practice the next day to cause chaos.
Tsukki would be so confused but ends up just going with it because ya'll have a date that night and might as well go there together instead of meeting up again later.
He would bring you dried flowers and the team would be like ‘wtf Tsukishima you suck at this’.
And then they get so confused when you just respond with “oh, thanks, I actually just ran out of lavender yesterday.”
Everyone would get so confused when you bring up spellwork and just start talking about it like it’s nothing.
You end up casually dropping the fact that you practice witchcraft like you’re talking about the weather.
They mention to you that they don’t believe you, but then a volleyball hits Kageyama in the back of the head. Everyone put the volleyballs away. They are across the gym. Everyone is standing here. Yet there is a volleyball right behind him. You laugh. Tsukki smirks. Everyone is afraid.
The two of you just walk out of there.
Leaving everyone shooketh.
No one ever teases you. Or Tsukishima while you’re around. You have become a being of fear.
This boy is so confused.
“You mean like magic?”
You knew this would happen, so you didn’t even tell him.
But then he walked in on you surrounded by candles with a book open putting stuff in a jar.
You only see him after you finish the spell and the moment of ‘oh no’ panic is ✨immaculate✨
Eventually, he’s okay. He’s completely clueless but is just cool with it.
Brings you random stuff like “could you use this?”
It’ll end up being something that you really needed or had been trying to manifest
*insert realization that your deities are sending you signs through him*
Probably isn’t too good with most parts of witchcraft, but once you explain numerology, he points every time he sees it.
The team finds out because Kageyama was bragging talking to Hinata about how he has the best s/o but told him not to tell anyone
He told everyone
The pressure everyone puts on him end up with him dragging you to practice one day
You just snap, “I was in the middle of a spell, why did you drag me all the way out here?” oblivious to the scene around you.
3. 2. 1. Chaos.
Everyone just starts screaming bloody murder. ‘Kageyama, you never told me your s/o was that hot’ ‘What do they mean ‘spell’?’ ‘Wait, y/n?’ ‘Who’s that?’
“Hi,” you almost snarl, “I’m y/n, Tobio’s s/o, and I’m going to get back to my spell before the Dybbuk haunting my best friend does any more damage.”
“What do you mean ‘spell’,” Suga asks, “and what’s a Dybbuk?”
“I practice witchcraft, and that’s not important.”
You walk away muttering something about warding.
“Definitely Kageyama’s s/o.” -the entire Karasuno team
“WHAAAAA?!?!? Y/n, you’re being haunted? Are you possessed? Are you-”
You have to calm him down and explain everything.
Once he gets it, he brags to everyone he knows. His teachers, his team, the other teams, his parents, his sister- everyone.
After enough literally just a day of him begging, you finally have to meet the team.
“So. . . this is your s/o?” “Yup!”
Tsukki starts laughing, “I mean, calling them a witch is a little rude, don’t you think?”
“HAAAAAAA??!?!!? No, no, no, they practice witchcraft and do magick and-”
Tsukki laughs even harder. “I knew you were stupid, but delusional is-”
“Hey Tsukishima, there are cheap headphones at the corner store, the left ear of your’s aren’t working and that always sucks.”
“How did you-”
. . . “oh-”
He can never keep the attention span necessary to do anything involving witchcraft, but cannot not watch you do everything witchy.
He will literally sit like an excited child in the corner while you do your full moon ritual.
If you invite him to any witchy holiday he will be stoked and eat all the bread
Way too excited, but keeps eating your stuff. “I thought you said it was a luck spell?”
“I DID,, AFTER SAYING IT CONTAINED ESSENTIAL OILS!!!”
“They’re essential to my health?”
“N O -”
Literally so supportive through the whole thing, do not throw him away-
He is really confused
Witchcraft? You mean like magic? You must be confused, come here, do you have a fever?
It takes him a while to wrap his head around it.
Once he does though, he’s really curious. “Hey y/n, what are the properties of an apple?”
He’s another one who’s a sucker for kitchen witchcraft. He’s just like ‘I have a s/o who can make amazing food and make that amazing food help make my spikes more accurate.’
He’s mesmerized by everything you do, but when you offer to teach him anything, he’s too scared he’ll mess up and just says no.
He’s still kinda normalized it and accepted it as a part of your relationship.
It just becomes a normal part of his life, and he grows more comfortable with it, but still doesn’t practice it.
He just feels like it’s you’re thing and has no interest in practicing it, still loves watching you though-
You always involve him in you’re celebrations that don’t involve spells, like this year’s Beltane.
So you invite him to the park for a Beltane picnic where you both can do some fun activities to celebrate.
He accepts and is so excited (he never gets over his excitement to be around you).
So you are both eating and talking witchy stuff (Yamaguchi loves learning about it).
You’re just talking like, “Yeah! I seriously don’t get how no one knows that the veil’s thinnest on Beltane as well as Samhain-”
“Saw- what now?” You hear from behind you.
You turn around to see Tanaka and Noya eating ice cream and very curious about their junior’s peculiar ‘friend’.
Yamaguchi has a panic moment, but you just whisper a quick, “It’s fine, they were bound to find out eventually. Can I tell them?”
He nods and you turn to the chaotic duo. “Hello, I’m y/n, and I’m Yamaguchi’s s/o. Nice to meet you, Noya and Tanaka.”
“You know our names!” Tanaka muses. “Yup,” you deadpan. “How much does our kohai talk about us?” Noya asks, “I know we’re special, but this is another level.”
“Not much,” Yama replies, “They just know things.” Noya and Tanaka smirking: “What type of things?”
Yama.exe has stopped working. You sigh, “C’mon Tadashi, you couldn’t celebrate with me last Samhain, so you’ve never seen me do energy work when the veil’s this thin.” He immediately perks up, but so do the Duo, yet again. Here’s a demonstration, you smirk.
You start moving your hands, and the breeze picks up a little, not that the Duo would notice anything but you’re weird hand movements from where they’re standing. They’re about to laugh when the trees all around you start moving along with your movements.
Tanaka and Noya leave without another word.
You continue you’re date with him as normal, but make a point of showing up to practice to make sure you and Tadashi tell the team before the Duo can.
“Hey, Babe!” Yama calls upon your entry. Noya and Tanaka who were previously shouting at the top of their lungs for who knows why go quiet- something not unnoticed by Daichi. “Do you two know them?”
“Yup, we had an encounter yesterday.”
“It was kinda weird how it was raining yesterday though, it was supposed to be clear.”
“Oh, my bad,” you say, to which Tsukishima laughs. “What? Are you delusional or something?” Wordlessly, you start moving your fingers in a circular motion. No one notices, but they do notice how there’s a violent wind circling the court even though all the doors and windows are closed.
“Or something,” You deadpan, “Let’s go, Yama.”
His teammates look back to him, walking to you and lightly giggling, “Sure, y/n, you can stop it now, though.”
“Fine,” you huff and the wind stops immediately.
Thanks for reading, I hope you guys like this. If you have any ideas for another spiritual (or just random) hc, please make sure to submit it! Thanks for reading!
34 notes · View notes
Second Night- a play about now
A young man and a young woman are in a park, each sitting on the outside of a bench. It is cold, they both wear masks, the woman reads 1984, the man is on his phone, scrolling. In the back we hear city
sounds, cars, sirens. During the play the sun sets and it becomes dark.
Listen to this:
Orwell said that one day people will unknowingly beg for their own enslavement, how right he has become.
You got to be kidding...come on Alisha, give me a kiss and put that book down.
I miss the 90’s, and early 00’s man...had my first driving lesson today...was driving too fast...
( Stuart and Alisha move closer on the bench and start to make out, with their masks on, a strange making out because they want to stay within the Covid measurements)
George Orwell( sitting on a cloud with wings):
People have no morals theses days...look at all the movies, all the songs that are theses days, everything is about sex!
They think that this is how you supposed to be living....humanity just got MAD!
The unfortunate part is that there are men out there that meet women who could be their wives, but they lack the patience to wait until marriage for sex.
They end up frustrating themselves in the process and wonder why they can only find women who want them for their money or their status and do not respect them otherwise.
A woman who doesn’t know how to respect herself and her body will not know how to respect her husband.
I see it everyday.
I should have written about that.
Look at those two.
She was reading a very good book, my masterpiece and this piece of male shit opens his mouth to blur some pick up lines and now they are necking and petting and god forbid kissing during a Pandemic!
( shouting to them)
A king will instinctively know how to control his hormones for his queen!
A lust driven BOY will never understand this concept.
Throw him off and keep reading my masterpiece!
( he jumps off his cloud and whispers in Alisha's ear)
It's hard to get a man when you have high standards, I know that because they go for the ones that are easier and then they get mad that they're not treated well.
It's just a cycle that just continues around and around, but if all women just wouldn't give it up and expect High output from the man then we would all have a better time, so stop this nonsense and read again!
And if not my book, then at least a book from one of my friends here above in the holy clouds!
Oh well, what more can I say...I did warn everybody, didn't I?
( a gospel choir appears and starts singing No woman no cry)
George Orwell ( wiggling on the music):
Thanks god to all these beautiful musicians!
And thanks from heart for the upload my Lord!
This is what legends are made of.
When the apocalypse starts this should be the final music that should be played on the live broadcast not the national anthem!
( the petting couple slowly untangle themselves, the choir disappears)
George Orwell (still wiggling, he starts to shake and speaking in tongues):
o melhor cantor de todos os tempos....
voz linda argh,
nem sobe nem desce,
Get your own cryptocurrency...
This shortened version
Won ba e wi n'ibi wo!
Ma lo se bi I ogoro wo!
Awon omo tikabodi wo!
isso é uma reliquia....
( a young woman walks to the bench and sits herself in the middle, a long silence before the next lines are spoken)
Hi Alisha, hi Stuart, hey guys I’m back, what's up?
What’s going on everybody!
Are you happy to see me?
It's chilly isn't it?
This feels like when your favorite tv show gets canceled...
Weren't you supposed to be at home, waiting for dad?
Dad finally came back from the shop.
Please tell me you at least got the milk?
Because dad forgot and I really want to make pancakes tonight.
You went to the groceries earlier today right?
I’ve wasted so much time getting all the ingredients.
Eggs, sirup, oil, flour....aaargh....
Make them with water.
Better for the figure anyways.
Reinvigorate your diet!
Have a good day all witches out there!
Damn, I miss the 90s!
( he takes his backpack and leaves, in a hurry)
George Orwell ( trembles while speaking loud in tongues):
BUAT ALUR CERITA GAME : SKY CHILDREN OF THE LIGHT!!
What was that?
George Orwell ( trembles while speaking soft volume in tongues):
Next : call of duty cold war ditunggu ya!
Instagram ramramramadamanama...pimps and winos...
Di game Sakura School Simulator.
What is the message of glory?
What does it mean when a person is hard?
Now you chased him away, you stupid!
I don't know about these pancakes, but I guess he is right, we make them with water.
I will and we won't tell dad.
And dad will like them and eat and eat and eat and then will go to bed, snoring.
Dreaming he is surrounded by loved ones.
And we can then do whatever we want, what you say?
Oh, I can't wait to make them sizzle in the oil!
What do you say Alisha?
Let’s just say you’re awesome!
What were you doing here with Stuart, it is quite cold.
Oh, just a bit necking and petting, have a romantic relationship...
Oh, all right.
Well, you will be better parents for the next generation.
How are you?
I feel like a saggy doughnut right now.
I feel mellow, relaxed, confident, and happy.
You wanna hear some music?
Like John Denver?
I don't like country music, but let's talk about something else, medieval torture, which is awesome!
Not for the faint of heart!
But such fun!
Does that make sense?
Nature in human beings are sick minded.
We are the most evil species to ever walk the earth.
It’s wired into our brains as evolution continues on it will change.
The world is cruel and self absorbed.
Thank goodness I wasn’t born back then!
( the gospel choir appears and start humming Could you be love)
Alisha, where are you going, can you come back?
I love country music, I was joking around!
Oh come on, you’re lying!
Bob Marley never died... He has multiplied!
Bob is smiling from heaven.
He is my fav singer, period.
Stay safe and stay in and play!
( he disappears in a cloud, humming One love)
( a ghost, or a shadow person start to perform a Butoh like movement piece between the two sisters, who are leaving the park, discussing pancakes, Stuart and medieval torture)
Hey, the book!
( the book 1984 is forgotten and lies on the bench)
Now night will fall soon.
Families will eat pancakes.
Some will eat pancakes made with milk, others will eat them made with water, a large and sumptuous meal, a feast.
It does not matter much.
Constipation will appear the next day.
Constipation is hard.
I will wake over the town tonight, introduce a negative statement here and there, the menace of totalitarian rule ora concept of societal friendship and harmony in the absence of hostility and violence.
Just as I feel it, in the spur of the moment.
I will see Stuart, probably masturbating while imagining Alisha is taking a shower, naked.
She's such a good girl,she gets good grades,studies,and her mind is still so innocent!
She reads Orwell.
What a joke.
Both bad and good.
I will wake over Sharon, poor girl, she is not pretty enough.
Ah, yes, that is why she is in medieval torture.
Not pretty enough.
I will wake non stop.
I will wake over the dad, his big belly full of flour and oil.
I will wake over the dog walkers, making their calls while their dogs sniff the earth and pee all over
So dial inward, connect and do something nice for your whole self, remember - you are worth it.
I will wake over justice and punishment.
Canada, test centers.
And then in the morning, I will make out with the sky god Horus.
Paul (he is walking his dog, John, in the park, he is on his cellphone):
The building across the street is flooding the guy is trying to sweep the water out I couldn't sleep...
wondering if he was up all night sweeping the water out you have to look hard to see him but once you do it's obvious that he is dealing with flood water nobody is helping him poor man...yes..yes...
(John sniff s at the bench and pees against it)
...yes...flood at front, working alone...yes..yes...
(Paul sits down on the bench)
I can smell the rain.
I can smell the bench.
I can smell the book.
I can smell the lies.
I can smell the flowers.
I can smell the disgust.
I can smell the shit.
I can smell the lust.
I can smell the wonder.
I can smell the illegal.
Ahh, the world is filled with such beauty.
I can smell it all.
So how's life going in jail for you?
Isn't this illegal?
Love doing illegal things...yes...yes...
The most venomous snake in the world was my ex, trust me.
Why won’t a snake bite a lawyer?
I'll see you in court...
So it's a romantic night.
It’ll be fun tonight.
Innocence of knowing real unhappiness.
I'll be back!
( the ghost fades away)
That's messed up.
I have not a job and money, I possess courage and love and anger, I am a dog.
I am my own Rock.
That is my name by the way.
I am Paul's dog.
He owns me.
He is good.
( Paul sees the book, opens it and starts to read)
This latest Pocket collection is amazing. Orwell...who would have thought?
Well said, my friend!
Good, very good, he is taking the time he has now to learn more about himself.
Night, la noche.
Good music is timeless.
Nostalgia is possibly one of the best and worst feelings ever.
Read latest breaking news, updates, and headlines.
What's not to like.
Fun-times talking politics lately?
Christmas couldn’t get any better.
I am here to help you learn how to tactfully talk to the people you disagree with most.
It's time to celebrate where you have come from.
You will own nothing and be happy.
It’s the purgatory of Groundhog Day brought to life, let's take control of the situation.
Everyone is welcome.
Terminator, bringer of joy, blessings!
( he makes a bow and leaves the stage, walks into the audience, the light fades, in the darkness, a pink neon sign with the following text, shows up: Why not take on a new challenge – the challenge to live with awareness?)
→ need you now | part two
dabi x fem! reader
desc: two years after your fight with dabi, your life has completely changed without him in it. you’re dating a pro-hero and you’re happy. or maybe that’s what you tried to convince yourself.
genre: angst, smut
warnings: public sex, unprotected sex, cheating/adultery
word count: 5.6K
with a hum, you folded your excess laundry, a small smile spread on your lips. being a hero was no easy job and your boyfriend knew this completely. he was always busy and the two of you could usually never have alone time. but today, he had plans for you both. if someone ever asked you what you thought your future looked like - you never would’ve thought you’d be dating a pro-hero. you were constantly in the public eye. everywhere you turned, whether the attention was good or bad, someone’s eyes were on you. all of this in only two years.
since you were only an underground worker in the LOV, no one had ever seen your face. no one but the villains in the LOV. after your argument with dabi, something in you changed. your old fuse had been replaced almost suddenly, and you felt brand new. the mental exhaustion had finally gotten the better of you. maybe a little bit after a month, you just stopped showing up at the villains hideout. even though every night, a new unknown number was blowing up your phone - you ignored it. you knew who it was.
being a villain meant that he could never have a constant life. he could never keep a phone for more than a month, or just do things like going grocery shopping or to the movies. especially since he and tomura were wanted criminals.
you couldn’t say you didn’t miss it, though.
a few months after your heartbreak, a hero had asked you out after saving your life multiple times. maybe you were both moving fast, but you quickly moved in with him - an hour away from your apartment. there, dabi wouldn't know where you resided. it was difficult to admit, but even with the perfect life you were leading now, dabi still held the gates to your heart. you’d given yourself a year to fall in love with your boyfriend. but you never felt the overwhelming rush of butterflies you felt with dabi. or racing pulse and sweaty palms. in actuality, you felt nothing around your new ‘lover.’
after that night, dabi made multiple attempts to contact you. in such a harsh state of pain, you couldn’t bear to open his messages, but it never stopped you from seeing them flash across the screen.
“i miss you, y/n.”
“we can talk about this, just come back.”
“you’re overreacting. stop being a little girl.”
subconsciously, you memorized every single word to the point where you could recite them in a coma. it wasn’t until after you’d been in a relationship when he finally admitted his feelings towards you. in a state of shock, your eyes focused on each individual word, too dismayed to believe it. and after you were already in a relationship? maybe you weren’t thinking clearly that day. maybe your brain was fogged in anger and shallow unforgiveness to the point where you had to sneer, telling him it was too late. he was too late.
you could recall that day like it just happened - shock and horror abundant on your features.
“i just want you here… please, y/n. i’ve always felt that way about you. all the time. but i can’t take it. i can’t allow you to have me that way… you don’t deserve the pain. i wish you understood.” his words would constantly flash in your mind, clouding it as the painful sentences pushed away every bit of logic and reasoning you had. wishing you would’ve reacted differently, the most you could do was move on.
you’d love to say he tried to still contact you and make more advances but that’d be a lie. after a week, he’d simply left you on read. to keep your mind sane, you convinced yourself that he’d gotten rid of yet, another phone like the idiot he was. maybe he’d broken it, or he found out it was being tracked and was still in the process of buying a new one. there was no way he’d just stop talking to you for an entire year. even now, you were still in denial - oftentimes wondering if he’d just… forgotten about you. mostly wondering if you’d gone too far that night, like you always did when you were upset.
was it too late to be forgiven?
after a while of waiting, you found yourself gliding to the gas station around the corner from your shared home. with a pocketbook in your hand, you walked into the quaint station, the aroma of instant coffee and fresh bagels attacking your nose as soon as you stepped foot in there. the cashier, a citizen your boyfriend had saved, waved to you. ever since the incident that left you both scared for your life, you’d two developed a small bond. hanging out often or whenever you could.
“how’s hawks doing?” he asked, a large smile settled on his face. he’d ask that same question anytime you walked in. it wasn’t only you that would send gratitude to your boyfriend, the pro hero ‘hawks’, whenever you could. many people were rescued that night the fire started. at the time, you never questioned it since you were enduring so much fear and shock that night - but the flames that caused the fire were anything but normal. they were blue, and cold as ice. your mind had crossed many lines, twists, and turns until it officially landed on touya. eventually, you’d forced yourself to shake it off. though, recalling the night you watched the news and regarding what you heard from hawks - it had been confirmed that it was touya. your memories from that night always punished you with a cold sweat, the thought of dabi purposely trying to hurt you making you feel miserable.
you couldn’t help but feel terrible for the fight you instigated. you’d always wonder, until you could see him again, if he’d ever forgive you. there was no other way to put it. you just really, really wished things had gone differently and you would’ve at least tried to explain things to him better. he was deserving of that. but the look of pure confusion and pain that painted his face for a split second after you addressed him that way would always haunt you. he was gone now, though. all you were left with was old, painful messages full of sorrow and the white t-shirt you borrowed from him when he came over. it didn't even smell like him anymore.
to say that you missed him would be wrong in every way. you had a boyfriend. you had friends. you weren’t participating in any crime anymore. however, part of you still ached to just hear him say your name again. just one more time before you left him alone. maybe if things had an alternate ending, he would still be sneaking in through your window late at night, fingers ghosting over the sensitive areas of your body while you cried out into a pillow. maybe he would’ve admitted his genuine feelings sooner - when you didn’t have a boyfriend. you wished he wasn’t too late.
“he’s fine! we’re going out tonight!” slight heat crept up until it was evident in your cheeks, skin hot to the touch while you thought about a night out with a pro hero. the attention would be inevitable. come to think of it, that was more than likely a huge reason the two of you barely did anything together. you were lucky if he’d at least asked to see a movie or go out to your favorite market for omurice together.
“yeah? stay safe! i won’t hold you up longer, y/n,” you could hear him chuckle, cheeks stained red in bashfulness. “you know i love to talk.” you grinned at him and nodded, walking to the back to check if they were still selling your favorite chips. as your feet strutted down the short aisle, you turned around instinctively after hearing the door open, a small ding sounding through the air. a man, shielding his face with a hood, walked in. from what you could see, he was pretty tall and lanky. he dragged his feet around, head bowed. thinking nothing of it, you turned around to avoid looking like a stalker. you searched around until you found a bag of lays, making sure to accompany a bottle of flavored water with it. walking to the front to pay for the items, your eyes gazed over the man’s figure. he was paying, too. “you can go first, sir.” attempting to be polite, you backed away a bit, a small smile present on your features.
the man seemed to flinch at your words, back hunching once you spoke. like he’d just been startled.
“no,” he started, voice deep and raspy, “you can go. i don’t have much.” looking down at his items, you blinked. he was right. the covered man only held a bottle of water and band-aids. looking up at the hooded fellow, you couldn’t help but shiver as an odd thought manifested in your mind. his voice - it sounded extremely familiar. eyes still subtly watching the stranger, you sat your items on the surface, grabbing a few bills from your pocketbook to hand to your friend. your items were bagged and two quarters were slid your way. the change fell onto the floor.
“oh! y/n, i’m sorry!”
“no, no, it’s okay,” you reassured him as you and the stranger leaned down to grab the fallen money. bending down, your eyes gazed over the stranger, eyes watching the sleeve of his jacket roll up a bit. his arms were pretty long. you grabbed the quarters before he could, but your eyes widened quickly, face slightly contorting in confusion - then realization. his arms were completely scarred purple. leaping upward, you blinked rapidly, bowing as you thanked your friend, rushing from the store. you sped-walked home, checking behind yourself often to see if anyone was on your tracks, until you arrived. your heart roughly beat against your chest while you huffed out oxygen, pulse racing. was that…? it had to be someone else. another burn victim. had to be someone else whose arms were completely scarred purple. how many people like that even exist?
attempting to calm yourself down, you fidgeted with your fingers, biting down on your short nails. it’s not that you were afraid, per se. but why was he even on this side of town? if that was him, of course. he lived in musutafu, why was he all the way down here? and even then, he had to hear the cashier say your name, right? he had to see you, didn’t he? was he following you by any chance? disregarding the slight panic you were experiencing, a part of your heart fluttered knowing he was okay. even if you hadn’t spoken in a year, it didn’t mean he didn’t cross your mind daily. you were still in love with him after all. no matter how much you denied it, you knew that was the only reason you were holding onto his image this entire time. why didn’t he say anything to you? a good ‘hey, y/n, it’s been a while’’, would’ve been enough for you. you noticed your tremors had lessened and your body was less tense. confusion still staining your features, you sighed. why’d you freak out like that? if it was touya, you had the literal chance to say something. well, maybe not inside of the store, but you had every opportunity to pull him outside.
regretful of your stupid choice, you smacked your head with the palm of your hand. another chance was ruined, and it was all your fault.
even when your boyfriend, keigo, finally showed up - your features were still telling a story. a story filled with regret and emptiness. keigo questioned you multiple times, wondering if you were okay. though you responded with yes, you weren’t. and you knew that he knew.
“well,” he started, voice feigning excitement to lessen the tension in the bedroom. “i got you a nice dress for tonight…?” forcing a smile on your cheeks, you leaned in to wrap your arms around him. though you were suppressing your dominant feelings now, deep inside you felt guilt. keigo was so good to you. the man had every opportunity to be with anyone that wasn’t you. someone that would love and appreciate him. someone who genuinely loved him back. maybe you didn’t think you were into keigo at the beginning of your relationship. however, every mention or thought of dabi sent you deeper. your lust and yearn for him grew stronger anytime the man with charcoal hair invaded your thoughts. cliché enough, he was like a drug. you wanted him. you wanted him so much. but you’d be sacrificing someone that loved you. someone that genuinely wanted to be with you.
you’d feel like an asshole if you left keigo.
“thank you, baby. i’ll be ready in a moment.” you dragged your feet to the restroom, gathering your makeup and under garments. the least you could do was pretend for him, yeah? you almost never had any alone time together, and he was excited to finally have you all to himself. the least you could do was pretend.
your night had gone by in a slight blur. after you were ready, he called transportation to pick you up. you knew you should’ve been feeling like royalty. you were clothed in a beautiful dress and your makeup was beautiful. any other girl would be completely satisfied with her life at this point. but you couldn’t help but mope, body slouched in the car. hawks couldn’t see you, his body turned to the window while he watched the scenery. a few minutes had gone by and the car came to a stop. like the gentleman he was, hawks escorted you out, walking you inside of the restaurant. he held your hand, thumb gently swiping across your knuckles. just like you called it, most people had stopped eating. glares followed both you, and your famous boyfriend, while you were led to a secret booth. your ears perked up, hearing the silent whispers of the people eating while their eyes stalked you both. it was no secret that some fangirls of hawks had a disdain for you.
you were expecting it the second he asked you out. the most you’d ever gotten was stared at and called names; nothing too bad. you sat in your extended chair, sliding all the way over until your hip bumped into the walls. the place was fancy, you’d give it that. the walls were rose-colored and decorated with photos of heroes all around. since hawks was still up-and-coming, you couldn’t spot his portrait anywhere. you were pretty thankful for that. you didn’t like to be reminded that he was a hero. really, part of you just thanked him for saving you that night. you knew yourself too well. you didn’t belong with a hero. the hero course was never for you.
you felt like an imposter. in a way, you were. most children had dreams of becoming a hero - and for a moment, you did too. even now, you thought you wanted that life. but then touya came along and you used your healing quirk for people who deserved it. maybe you didn’t agree with their choice of lifestyle that much, but you knew touya. and you knew that he was a good guy.
no one would ever know that, though.
that under all of his pain and suffering, he was just like everyone that surrounded you. heroes and villains were the same. you didn’t care to choose the side of right or wrong. you only cared to be on the side of the people you cared about. that’s all that mattered to you.
even then, you weren’t a good girl. you weren’t even a good person for that matter. everyone else was playing checkers, but you were playing chess. your eyes scanned the menu, body overheating as you felt stress overwhelm you. why couldn’t you just be happy? why couldn’t you just forget about dabi? why were you so ungrateful? questions flooded your overworked brain to the point where your vision clouded, brain dizzy.
who were you anymore?
“h-hey, i’m gonna step out for a moment. i need to take a call,” your sentences came out jumbled, voice cracking as you attempted to get your words out there. before you could even allow your boyfriend to react, your quick feet dashed from the crowded building - the smell of steak and wine vanishing from your senses. you didn’t even know you were crying until your neck was damp, tears overflowing while you let out a wretched cry, gazing over the cars in the driveway. you sent a silent prayer to any god out there for having everyone already seated inside. clutching your stomach, you dragged yourself over to a bench. even though the moon was shining and it was quite dark, your frustration had gotten the better of you, dumbly causing you to go sit on the uncomfortable wood, next to the restaurant. despite not being able to even see it, you knew your eyeliner would be running down your face now, makeup staining your wet cheeks while you cried out into the darkness.
you truly were an idiot.
if you’d just let things continue going the way they were going, you would be fine. everything would still be okay. you’d still be living on the first floor of your apartment, where the love of your life would sneak in every night.
if you hadn’t let your emotions get the best of you that night, your life would still be fine. the cool breeze outside dampened your cheeks, dark makeup drying on your face. shaking, you knew there was no way you could go back inside and face keigo. maybe, if your luck wasn’t shit right now, you could find a way to go home without him knowing. with a heavy heart a disturbed mind, you buried your face in your cold fingers, clenching your jaw. debating how you’d avoid seeing keigo, you almost neglected to pick up on the sound of feet coming towards you.
if you thought your heart couldn't drop any further, you were completely incorrect. though your breathing had stopped, you attempted to act normal - fear slightly subsiding once the heavy-footed stranger sat beside you, grunting.
maybe he was waiting on a ride. your leg began to bounce while you constantly tried to shoo away the negative thoughts you were having. oh, lord, were you about to die?
instantly, your shoulders tensed hearing the voice, gulping. you removed your head from your hands slowly, avoiding looking at the stranger - embarrassed by your ruined makeup. a forced chuckle rolled off your dry tongue as you nodded, placing your wet hands in your lap, wiping the liquid on your pretty dress. “you could say that.”
he sounded familiar.
“yeah? today hasn’t been a good day for me either, doll.” dabi muttered, a slight smirk spreading across his face while he watched your body completely tense, breath hitching. with parted lips, your head whipped to the side after hearing the nickname. part of you hoped you were hallucinating. hoped you were so stressed from your predicament, you’d become delusional. you’d prefer that over the truth.
you blinked at the man in shock, taking in his presence. his skin was in a horrid state, purple flesh being held together by stained staples. his eyes were dark and lidded, a small smirk present. though, he was probably teasing you, the glint in his eye showcased a sign of something more. he seemed genuinely happy - like he was pleased to see you, again.
“tou-ya…?” his name felt like a curse, broken word almost refusing to fall from your lips. your eyes widened a bit, form completely frozen. you didn’t even know how you felt in that moment. were you upset? no, that wasn’t it. part of your body exploded in a tingling sensation. there was no denying your excitement that he was there. even then, you still couldn’t move. how did he even find you? you noticed a shift in his eyes. they’d softened. the smirk had fallen from his lips now, frown replacing its place.
“why are you… here?” stuttering, you started trembling again, ability to move now restored. you quickie jumped up from the cold bench, hands clasping over your mouth. dabi failed to respond, eyes simply following you while you began to literally freak out.
“g-go, please. i’m here with…” you trailed off, looking down at the grass you were standing in. couldn’t bring yourself to mention your new lover. not that you even loved him. but dabi already knew. tears rushed from your eyes, new waves of liquid dropping to the ground and your neck. your vision had blurred, small cries pushing through your dry lips. you felt his arms around you now. dabi was also cold. colder than you were.
it took everything in you from pushing him off and telling him not to touch you.
“i know,” he whispered into your neck, voice sending shivers through your body. you sniffled, cheeks hot and flushed while he held you close to his chilled body. you wanted to run. wanted to leap away from the situation and forget he was even there. however, something was calling you to stay. whispering sweet words in your ear, pleading with you to stay. you needed to stay. needed to stay with him. “this isn’t you, y/n.” his words threw you off and you backed away, coughing.
“i’ve been watching you. you already know that, though. don’t you?” you hadn’t confirmed it, but the suspicion was lingering somewhere. you nodded. all this time you thought you’d never see him again, all the tears you’d cry at night wondering how badly you’d fucked up - and he was watching you? any normal person would be afraid, or even pissed, but you felt relieved. even after you though you hurt him, thought you really got rid of him, he was right there.
he was always right there.
“you’re dating a hero now… never thought i’d see that,” he admitted, voice condescending. “but i know that isn’t what you want. you don’t want to be a part of a hero’s fantasy. not when you could be back with us.”
your eyes were pleading for him to stop talking now, frown present. no matter how much you yearned to deny that fact and let go of the people from your past, he was right. you never wanted to be with a hero. you wanted nothing to do with them, or anyone for that matter. you’d do anything to just be with dabi. you’d do anything for dabi. that’s how you used to feel, at least. maybe you still did. under all of the pretending, you were still a mess under his touch. you could still lose yourself just hearing him say your name. you were still, and would always be desperate and needy for him. you would always be in love with him.
sadly, there was no denying that. even on the days you thought you could learn to love keigo, the only person on your mind was touya. two years had gone by and you still needed him. you still thought of him. you still loved him.
“i don’t wanna hear that,” you spoke up, voice cracking once you spoke. he seemed intrigued, eyebrow quirking from your sudden octave raise. “i loved you so much. s-so much. you didn’t want me. night after night, you never stopped to think about how - how that made me feel.” finally choking your sentence out, your eyes remained on the ground. you felt like a weight had been lifted. one that was sinking your heart down. you flinched hearing dabi raise his voice, sentence coming out stern. like he was warning you of something.
“i don’t need to be saved, y/n.” you looked up, new tears stinging your eyes again. you both shared the same expression. one filled with desperation and pain. you were feeling the same way.
“i told you i didn’t care, touya… told you i could help you. i would be there for you,” you recited. at this point, everything had shifted. you didn’t even acknowledge the fact that you were pretty much behind the restaurant, where people would be able to hear if you’d started arguing. your chest ached, body feeling weak as you spoke to him. it had been so long already. the last thing you wanted to do was fight.
“do i look like i need help?” with a confused expression, you tilted your head up to see dabi’s jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed. his expression was nearly unreadable again, you felt your pulse race, your thoughts rushing just as quickly. you didn’t wanna fuck this chance up, too. you just wanted him to hear you out. you’d been hurting for so long.
please, touya. just listen.
you whimpered, blinking in shock.
“i don’t need anyone’s fucking help. i avoided a relationship to protect you. y-you wouldn’t be able to handle the things i’ve been through.” your ears perked up upon hearing his voice crack, barely noticing the tears roll down your cheeks. he was your best friend. he’d always been there when you needed someone, but where were you when he needed someone? you wanted to be to him what he was to you. that’s all you wanted. he didn’t need to be saved, you knew that.
clenching your fists, you choked out your words, knees buckling. you never meant to make him feel cornered like this. “i know that! i know… i jus’ wanted you to know i would be there the way you are for me,” your voice was broken now, sentence coming out in a whisper. “please don’t yell at me.”
dabi backed up for a moment, horror flashing across his features. you wiped away at your tears, shaking your head. rushing to comfort you, dabi wiped away your tears for you, thumbing at your cheeks. “i’m so sorry, doll. i understand. promise…” you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. even though you were used to dealing with fights like this, being yelled at by touya hurt. but crying made you feel like a pussy. your eyes were practically swollen now, burning anytime you blinked.
“i have to go.” you whispered. it’s not like you wanted to leave, either. god knows all you wanted to do was drop down in front of him and break down. you yearned to be engulfed in his heavy arms, his slim body pressed against yours as you let out everything you were carrying. but keigo had to have been worried now, right? everything in your corruptible body wanted to stay.
“stay with me…” dabi tilted your chin up, serious eyes glaring into yours. “if you want to go, i’ll let you. i won’t come back. i promise i’ll leave you alone for good now, doll,” your heart dropped to your stomach, body going still once again. “just say the word…”
you both stood in silence, simply staring at each other. your moral compass was screeching at you to leave. to go back in there with keigo, your boyfriend. your eyes flicked down to his lips, then back to his lidded eyes. you wanted him. you wanted him. you wanted him.
“missed you.” you whimpered, blinking away tears.
“i know…” you didn’t know how the night would play out, but you knew one thing. you weren’t leaving. forgetting about every trace of keigo, your brain had a split second of judgement before your lips flew towards his, flesh colliding. in the moment, every angsty feeling you had began to completely melt as your lips moved in harmony. dabi picked you up, lips still connected to your slightly parted ones. you whimpered, the man below you sitting on the bench again. reluctantly, you pulled away, a small saliva trail disconnecting from his lips. you were in pure bliss now, having forgotten about what he tasted like. your lips felt sparks, missing the way his lips felt against yours.
they never felt that way when you kissed keigo.
your entire body was tingly now, eyes filling with lust. “good doll,” he said, voice sultry. “knew you’d choose the right choice.” nodding slowly, dabi gripped your waist, pressing kisses to your jaw and neck. a large rush of breath escaped your nose and your eyes shut, body grinding against him. you didn’t care if everything was moving fast. you had dabi back and you never planned to lose him again. a rush of wetness travelled down, pussy clenching over nothing while you groaned quietly. dabi sucked small bruises on your neck and chin, purple spots littering your heated flesh. you bit down on your tongue to suppress a groan. dabi lifted your body up a bit so he could unzip his pants. it wasn’t anything you hadn’t done before, but you could feel heat rush to your cheeks, eyes watching the tent in his underwear.
“gonna make you mine again,” he mumbled, freeing his hard cock from the confines of his underwear. shuddering from the cool air, you felt his fingers connect with your panties, pulling them to the side. you pulled your dress up a bit, exposing your stomach. your head turned to the side, mortified that he was seeing your body again. especially after a while of not being touched by anyone. dabi spat on his hand, rubbing his hard length with it. maybe you should’ve told him it had been a while since you’d done anything like this, but you stayed silent - lust clouding your vision as he prodded his tip against your sputtering entrance. sinking in, you gripped onto his shoulders, nails digging deep into his skin. you could feel your walls stretching around him, hole widening as it let him in. tears pricked your eyes from the slight sting.
sitting on his lap, your eyes were shut tight, allowing yourself to get used to the way he felt again. in a quick breath, dabi pressed his lips to yours again, turning his head to the side while you cried into his display of affection. your tongue slipped into his mouth, teeth clashing against his while he began to move very slowly, soughting out for a gentle pace to fuck you at. soon, your pain subsided a bit, pussy clamping over the cock inside of you. desperate for more, you rolled your hips, lips still stuck to his.
hands on your waist, he lifted you up until you began to do it on your own, fucking yourself on top of him while he grunted, hips moving upwards to meet you.
“missed this - fuck, missed you,” the man underneath you admitted, thrusts becoming harder inside of you. nodding, you lifted yourself up again before sitting, the sting of the stretch still there, but not as frequent. you held onto him, pussy squelching loudly, no matter how hard you tried to cover up the sound.
“no one’s gonna touch you, babydoll.” he groaned into your ear, pace becoming more rapid as he met your movements. “all mine. my pretty little doll.” you cried out, burying your shameful face into his neck while you fucked him back, barely paying mind to the cold hair greeting your heated pussy. you could feel the drag of his cock inside of you, constant moving cock hitting against your cervix from this angle. groaning, your pussy gushed out more liquid, the substance running down his cock. every part of his cock dragged against your upper wall, the pleasure almost too unbearable. you didn’t wanna let go yet. didn’t wanna cum at all. just wanted to stay like this with his cock inside of you, forever. but you were extremely close, walls clenching over him as you came without warning, hugging the man.
“fuck- y/n, you’re such a good, patient slut,” dabi choked out, moving your tired body up and down on his dick, feeling the same overwhelming sense of pleasure throughout his body. you could feel tingles in your stomach while he continued to pound your pussy, hips stuttering while he buried himself inside of your wet heat, cumming with a groan. you winced, whining from the feeling of the warm liquid filling you up.
your body had gone limp, still pressed against him while his eyes rolled to the back of his head, fingers still clutching onto your dress. the very pretty dress keigo got for you. for your date today - the one he was looking forward to. your heart sank to your stomach, the afterglow of sex quickly washing away once you realized the gravity of your actions. you never meant for it to turn out like this. even if you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, he was still the pro-hero that saved your life. he was still your boyfriend and you had no right to cheat on him.
“i love you…” dabi whispered.
you looked around, lips parted. surely, he could tell you were bothered. gulping, you nodded. he was serious. he’d never told you he loved you before, so the simple expression made your stomach erupt in a different, more pure, form of pleasure. you still had questions for him - especially since the state of your relationship still went unanswered. “i love you too, touya.”
for now, you could only celebrate having him back.
even if it meant losing keigo.
tags: @thirstyfangirl @picassho-18 @jparra4587 @vicisbookishblog @lovely-angst @kakashishoekage
587 notes · View notes
Hey its me 😂 i came for a match up and def gonna bother you in the future. Hhm im 5'7, have curly brown hair and the like. Im insecure about my body alot of the time yet i dress for comfort. I dont dress fancy. I like drawing and reading and my favourite lunch is a sandwhich and juice. Im a big fan of movies and cinimatography, a sucker for mystery and thriller. Im only good at playing race games and stuff 😅 i like pink but where dark colours and i do cook so i hope thats helpful
Ravenyyyyyy!!!!😍😍. You dont know how fucking happy i am!!!! You're the first person i talked to on tumblr and AND YOU DID MY FIRST EVER MATCHUP!!!. IM MORE THAN GLAD TO DO YOURS . You know u didnt really have to give me a desc😏i already know who im gonna match u up with😎 but yes i appreciate the extra infos😃.
Gif desc: u love racing stuff and the color pink so yes a brown curly haired girl drving a carand its Christmas and u deserve to be dolled up
I match you with
Why i Matched you with your result
Aww cmonnn!!!! You have been giving me raph vibes since the first time i talked to you. And after i saw you, the vibes doubled up.
At first glance you are very closed up and may seem tough, but you're very very sweet inside and also a bit insecure, Just like raph.
You're a rebel, and dgaf what the world says about you and your way of living.
You love race games and stuff!!!! Guess who loves them too. I can see raph playing action and race games and has prolly completed asphalt 8 nitro.If raph wasnt in those things,he wouldn't skateboard a bike in the 2016 scene.(if thts relevant)
Random headcanons of both of you when together
Raph has no idea on cinematography but he will listen to you gladly when you tell him about it. He could see the passion in your eyes as you go on ranting about movies and how important it is for a director to keep in mind the background aesthetics.
Both you and raph would watch true crime daily and discuss about modus operandi behind the crimes. You two become holmes and watson with leo as mycroft 🤣.
Raph lovessss your drawings. He wont admit but he has put your drawings in his room's walls. You knew about that but didn't brag.
On your anniversary, you gifted a portrait of him that you sketched and boy was this dude crying.(it wasnt dust this time).
He is a big fan on your writings and has read allll of your stories with utmost concentration.
Dates will be mostly indoors, with you cooking something up and he giving you a hand. You're not that much of a shower. Homemade dinner and later binge watching office episodes😁.
The best times are when both of you are on bed, while there's thunderstorms outside and raph being the big spoon cuddling you from behind with one of his hand on you stomach pressing you more close to him, his head nuzzling against your head with his husky warm breath falling on your back. The window is slightly open letting in the smell of wet soil and light chilly breeze inside the room.
13 notes · View notes
seamless - hoshiumi kourai
desc: his words may fail him, but his pride for you remains endless.
pairing: timeskip!hoshiumi x pianist!reader
genre: fluff, and kourai-kun being madly in love with you.
Concert halls are stuffy, but it’s in moments like these where Hoshiumi is grateful for the length of his legs and how they fit neatly underneath the seat in front of his.
For some reason, he had always assumed that being in your mid-twenties meant getting used to suits and formalities. That when you turn 25, it imparts onto you some sort of wisdom of how to do Adult Things like close a deal on an apartment (check), buy a way too expensive suit (navy Ermenegildo Zegna, expensive as fuck, check), pay your bills (surprisingly, check) and navigate a relationship (he’s almost there, he thinks).
He instead learns that having volleyball money can get you through most things, but it won’t get you through the relationship bit. After a particularly nasty screaming match last week (it was mainly you screaming at him, to be fair. And he had kind of deserved it), he realizes that he must put on his big man pants and be a good boyfriend. And here he is! Being a fantastic boyfriend! Like the kinds in movies! Expensive suit, hair slicked ever so slightly to the side, a bouquet of calla lilies on his lap. He knew lilies were your favourite.
Hoshiumi felt as if he was being a good boyfriend. Watching his girlfriend do what she apparently does best- play the piano for a bunch of silent people in a stuffy concert hall.
He scoffs internally. Your fingers flitting across the keys playing Debussy’s Arabesque No. 1 for a silent, enraptured crowd wasn’t even the most impressive thing you had done. He feels a small swell of pride- only he got to see you in your moments of piano-induced ardor in the comforts of your shared home. Relentless repetitions of arpeggios, practicing how smoothly you could reach a fermata, the constant shifting shifting of your creaky piano’s old pedals. The countless times where your body moves in time with your rubato. At the end of particularly expressive pieces, Hoshiumi enjoys the small moments where you appear to be frozen, hunched over the keys in climax. He gets to straighten your back right up with his hands on your waist and shoulders, applying the softest amount of care and pressure.
The real concerts always happened at home. He never sat and watched you anymore, because your music was everywhere. It was in the lilting tones of your speech, how you’d time your footsteps to whatever you were listening to, the rhythm of your breathing. He had long grown used to coming home to the ever-present notes of the piano, lingering in the air long after you had stopped playing. Even during a screaming match, your voice reaching fortissimo and retorts coming out in short staccato bursts, he couldn’t help but think that you spoke in staves.
The fight you’d had with him regarded his attendance at your performances. You would make as much of an effort to go to his games, so why couldn’t he go to your recitals?
“You know I don’t ask you for much, Kourai. I go to so many of your games, even when they’re far away. So why can’t you come to any of my-“
“You know how my schedule is, [Y/N]. I don’t have the time to just sit around-“
“Is that what my shows are to you? Just sitting around?”
He didn’t have the words or the tact to tell you that he did find your performances a little boring, but not for the reasons you thought. Hoshiumi didn’t have the words to tell you that he’d memorized all of your pieces to heart, or that he’d watched you at home enough times to know when your body would lurch forward at what times during your pieces. Or how long it would take for you to start playing when you’d sit down on your bench, or what pieces make you cry in sadness, fear, or frustration. He thought that he’d shown you enough times- how much you captured his attention. And how more than anything, how enraptured he was with the way you’d return to the keys, the same way he’d return to the court. How your skill, your excellence, your repetition had become second nature.
You really were the second half to his soul. He grappled everyday with how to show you- and while he accepted that there would be times where his thoughts and feelings wouldn’t be communicated to you well, he knew he deserved a bit of an earful for it from time to time. You were right- you never asked him for much affection. Just for him to be there.
He had always been there, whether you realized it or not. Around the corner of your living room, in the kitchen, humming a piece of yours, the sounds of your playing breaking through the pitter patter of the water coming down through the shower. He didn’t want to share the music he got to hear with you and you only.
Hirugami had often told him to think a little before he spoke, and he thought that he’d learn how to do that by the time he was 25. But instead, here he was, cold water from the lilies sticking to his heated palms, hoping that he could show you what he really thought of your life’s work. Instead of telling you that you were far more impressive in his eyes when you made mistakes and tried hard to improve, rather than performing something nearly flawless. He didn’t have the words for that today. Plus, it wasn’t like he could just leave now.
His ears twitch when he hears you stumble ever so slightly on the final page. Yet, you continue even more gracefully than before (if that was even possible), and he doubts that anyone else in this stuffy, stuffy concert hall even noticed. If his heart could swell for you even more, then it would.
His hands grip this bouquet of lilies a little tighter as you finish, your back straightening at the end of your piece as if his hands were there to guide you back up. The hall erupts into applause, and Hoshiumi stands.
He weaves through the seats, barely maneuvering through the purses and feet in his path as his eyes focused on only you. You, having finished an imperfect run of Debussy’s Arabesque No.1. To him, you couldn’t have played it more perfect. You curtsy and bow your head with a smile, and he swears that you had reached into his chest and taken his heart right then and there.
Hoshiumi reaches the edge of the stage, stopping in front of you. The smile he had on since you made your mistake grows even wider at your bewildered expression, his limbs extending an armful of white lilies towards you. Your eyes grow misty. As you drop to your knees, he hoists himself up to sit upon the stage, ushering the lilies into your arms as you begin to cry.
“I’ve been here. Always.”
He vaguely registers the sounds of hoots and hollers from the crowd, the cooing of strangers as he gathers you into his chest. Your sobs muffled by his suit. He loves you more than you ever know, and he hopes that you’ll one day be able to read the bars and pages in which his feelings are inscribed. He hopes that you know that you’re the reason his blood moves, that you’re the reason he now thinks of each step in a run up to a spike as a staccato, and that there’s nothing that makes him happier than watching you make a mistake and picking back up right where you started.
The next morning you play Schlummerlied, with Kourai’s arms around you, sitting between his legs on your already narrow piano bench. His head resting on your shoulder, lips ghosting over your neck. He is not forthcoming with his words, he is not fortissimo with his adoration. But the notes you play ring in the air with more brilliance than before, and it is then that you start to realize what you look like in his eyes. And that he has always, always been there.
Legato. Connected, seamless, tied together. Always.
55 notes · View notes
desc :: after the exchange program, mari buys her own mansion. but she’s been experiencing odd occurrences. | twisted bedsheets au
word count :: 1606
notes :: if you want context on mari’s character, you can check out @leviskokoro ! I have a masterlist pinned where you can find the link to her character bio.
Mari looked up at the mansion she had just bought with the money that Mammon had given her before she left the Devildom. It was quite a surprise for her to have him give her such a generous gift. But then again, Satan did tell her that mortals he favored would be showered in cash when they met.
It was quite miraculous that she managed to score such a large one. The mansion wasn’t as big and grand as the House of Lamentation but considering she’s just one person living alone in there, it’s likely already more than enough for her. She should really be more careful about her impulsive purchases. But in her defense, this was the only home with a massive pool that she could afford and she really wanted that pool.
The wooden planks under her feet creaked as she entered the mansion. She came to a realization why it was priced so low. Just being in the house was unsettling in some way. The eerie silence, the antique furniture, the corners ridden with cobwebs. It felt like she was in one of those cliche haunted houses from horror movies. She knew things were too good to be true.
However, that wasn’t any reason to let her spirits down. She’s dealt with worse things before, even literally dying at one point because of a certain demon. Having to clean up an old house was nothing compared to what she’s had to deal with in the past.
Time to get to work.
While Mari cleaned, she couldn’t help but feel watched. The atmosphere was eerie enough as it was with how silent it was. Not a single object made a noise besides the creaking of wood under her legs. It was as if there was this creeping sensation on her back but when she turned around, no one was there. With how the floors were, she’d assume that she’d hear something if someone was actually in the mansion with her. And yet, still nothing.
The brunette looked up at the ceilings, seeing that the cobwebs were up there. She grabbed a stool and a broom and tried to reach for them, clearing out the dust and cobwebs.
But then, she jolted at feeling a chilly sensation brush over her bare leg, causing the stool to topple over. Her body fell to the floor with a loud thud.
Mari groaned at the impact, wincing in pain. She might’ve twisted her ankle the wrong way.
Her hands placed themselves on the floor and pulled her weight towards the nearby couch. Once she managed to get herself to lay down, she made sure to elevate her sprained ankle and rest it.
She sighed. Man, she usually wasn’t that clumsy, but that cool breeze really caught her off guard.
On the bright side, her ankle didn’t hurt so bad and she could probably still work on clean-up duty.
After taking a breather for a few short minutes, she swung her legs to the side and got up, ignoring the slight sting of her ankle.
This is fine, she told herself as she continued cleaning. It was starting to get dark so she should finish up soon.
Unbeknownst to her, a few entities watched her every move.
“How interesting. Most people would’ve turned tails already,” a tall figure with scales spoke, his eyes never leaving the small frail-looking girl. He wondered how she’ll fare in this mansion. Recalling the past owners, they’d often not even last a minute in the entrance.
And yet, here she was, a seemingly delicate young lady who seemed to plan to stay for a while.
He couldn’t help but feel eager for what’s to come. Things were getting awfully lonely for him. If she proves to be stronger-willed than she appeared, then perhaps she’d cure that loneliness.
In a different corner, a shorter being— one whose appearance was more humanoid, frowned. “I didn’t mean to scare her. I just wanted to say hi.” He sulked, feeling guilty over startling her so much that she hurt her ankle.
The one beside him sighed, exasperation written all over his face. “You shouldn’t disturb people while they’re working, Kalim.”
Then, he had an idea and his eyes lit up. He grabbed the other being’s wrist and pulled him somewhere. “Jamil! I need your help for something.”
Knowing he can’t refuse him, he nodded, following him to the kitchen.
“Phew, that was a bit more tiring than I thought,” Mari spoke to no one in particular. “But that should do it for today.” She sat down on the couch, deciding to rest her ankle for a little longer. Looking at the time, she noticed that it was dinner time. Judging by how loud her stomach was being, she figured she couldn’t skip dinner this time.
Hm, she hasn’t exactly bought groceries yet so she’s going to have to order something. It was a difficult choice between Jollibee or Mang Inasal. It’s been so long since she’s had food from both places since the Devildom didn’t have the restaurant chains.
However— While trying to decide what she wanted to order, the brunette’s nose picked up a different scent coming from the dining room. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she immediately got up to see what on Earth was happening.
Upon entering, she was met with a grand feast with all sorts of dishes. Her eyes widened to the size of the same plates the food was served on.
“Where did…” She whispered, unsure of what to do. Maybe it’d be wiser to call the police? Then again, who’s going to believe her when she says that someone broke into her house and just left a whole feast?
Chocolate brown irises trailed down at the table and noticed a piece of paper lying on it. She picked it up and read its contents.
“Sorry about earlier! Jamil makes the best food so you should try it out. Let’s be friends! - Kalim”
Her eyebrows furrowed even more. Who the hell is Kalim?
Mari looked back at the feast before her. It smelled so fresh, as if it was cooked recently. Jesus Christ, it was making her stomach rumble.
Should she really just eat free food that came out of nowhere?
The brunette considered her options. If the food turns out to be poisoned, at least she knows what Hell looks like so it won’t be too bad if she ended up there. If the food turns out to not be poisoned, she’d have dinner.
She groaned, way too hungry to think at this rate. Beel has been rubbing off on her.
Mari sat down and started to eat the food, starting with dishes she hasn’t had in awhile. The savory flavors danced on her tongue as she chewed on her food. Whoever made this certainly knew their stuff. Everything had been cooked to perfection.
So far she hasn’t tasted anything weird in the food.
She couldn’t help but wonder what the true intentions of this “Kalim” person is. What was he saying sorry for?
The brunette considered just finding a different home to live in, but it felt like such a waste of the money Mammon so graciously gave her. Guess she’ll just have to deal with it. Hopefully this “Kalim” person will show up soon.
After eating, she yawned. Phew, eating so much food can really make someone feel real sleepy. Then again, it’s been a strange day. Before she went up to her bedroom, she looked around the entrances of the mansion to see if any doors or windows were unlocked.
To her surprise and confusion, there had been no entrances left unlocked and no signs of forced entry.
Could it be that she’s dealing with something supernatural? After her experiences, it wouldn’t be too outrageous to think that maybe some strange spirit is messing with her.
Maybe if she ignored them, they’d go away. She told herself that as she walked upstairs to her bedroom. While stripping her clothes off, she couldn’t help but feel that creeping sensation around her, like she was being watched and observed once again.
Mari sighed and took out her DDD, looking at her contacts list. Surely Solomon would know how to deal with this. She pressed the call button and waited, hoping that he was still awake.
“Hello?” Came a smooth, yet groggy voice.
She gave a sigh of relief at hearing her friend, but felt a bit of guilt. “Ah, Solomon, did I wake you up? I’m sorry,” she asked, curling up.
“It’s fine. I assume it’s important if you’re calling now,” he replied, “Unless you just wanted to hear my voice?”
Her cheeks grew warm at his teasing tone. A chuckle bubbled from her throat, but then she remembered what she needed him for.
“You’re right, actually. I got this new mansion with Mammon’s money and一” She began to recount her day to him, explaining the strange occurrences.
“And where are you?” Solomon asked, his voice was calm and soothing.
Mari gave him her address.
“Alright, I’ll visit you as soon as possible to investigate it. In the meantime, try not to provoke these spirits and don’t panic. Most spirits tend to be rather sadistic,” he advised her.
“Thanks, Solomon.” She smiled at his kindness. After bidding each other farewell, she hung up and started to put on her pajamas. She laid herself on her bed, noticing how comfortable it was. Her eyelids became heavy as sleep started taking over.
What she didn’t notice were the shadows that crept closer to her with each moment that passed.
66 notes · View notes
Beloved Master :: Chapter Two
desc :: in which rook shares his findings
word count :: 1332
notes :: i wanted to practice how i wrote in the perspective of different characters because my comfort zone is usually just writing in mari’s pov. i’d really really like feedback on how i wrote rook, vil, and crowley in this.
au belongs to :: @twstedforyou
Rook didn’t have to look up to figure out who was behind him. Those light rhythmic footsteps, the strawberry vanilla scent, and the breathing pattern belonged to none other than his favorite angel. A smile pulled at his lips and greeted her, turning his gaze to her for a better look at her form. He had been in the middle of fixing up the materials that he used for the Science Club when she approached him.
“Petit ange, how wonderful to see you here,” he spoke with a lilt. His hunter green irises scanned her figure, analysing every curve and dip. Her body was more tense as usual, her eyebrows were furrowed in worry, and her lips were pulled in a tight line. It only took him about a second to figure out what her concerns were.
“I see that Monsieur Heart has been on your mind lately. He must be a lucky man to have a lovely woman worrying for him.” His mirthful smile never left his face as he finished up cleaning up the materials in the lab.
Mari’s cheeks dusted a faint red and she averted her gaze. “I take it that you already know he’s been acting weird, correct?” She asked, trying to ignore his comment.
The hunter nodded, remembering how he observed her conversation with the Heartslabyul first year. His keen eye noticed that he seemed to be a different person. Parts of his personality were there, yet this one seemed a lot more mature than the one he was familiar with. His footsteps were a lot lighter than his usual. Plus, his scent wasn’t the one he usually had. He smelled like… a fox.
“Do you happen to know the reason why?” She tilted her head to the side. “Your eyes can see far more than mine do. I figured that you might’ve noticed something.”
He shook his head, blond hair swaying in the motion. “Your words flatter me, petit ange. But unfortunately, I do not know the reason.”
A frown pulled her lips downward and she looked down. “Ah, that’s a shame.”
But Rook placed a finger below her chin and lifted it so that their emerald and andalusite gazes would meet. “Don’t worry your gorgeous head, ma colombe. I’ll observe Monsieur Heart more closely to find the reason for your concerns.”
Mari opened her mouth to reply, a delighted glint in her eyes. But thenㅡ
The door opened, he heard two pairs of distinct footsteps, as well as new scents entering the mix. They belonged to the two first-years that always hung around Mari.
“Oi, Mari! You promised you’d play cards with us after club meeting,” Ace told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her form closer to his. His voice had a needy undertone to it. It was clear to the hunter that the orange-haired junior didn’t want her around him with how he glanced at him, the protective glint in his ruby eyes was clear as day.
“I… did?” Her mouth was agape when she looked at him. Then, she frowned. “Crap, I’m sorry. I must’ve forgotten.”
Ace sighed. “Sheesh, again? You’re lucky you have me looking out for you.”
“We wanted to play in Ramshackle Dorm this time,” Deuce spoke up, his fingers pressed to his chin.
Mari nodded. “That sounds good.” She turned to Rook with a smile. “Sorry to cut this conversation short. I’ll talk to you later.”
Rook returned the gesture, making a dramatic motion with his arms. “I’ll be eagerly awaiting for you, petit ange.”
She giggled and walked off with her friends to her dorm.
The hunter waited in the laboratory for a moment, before smirking.
Time to do field work.
Vil looked at his vice dorm leader with scrutiny. What he heard sounded too outrageous to be true. However, he trusted him to be honest with him, even if that honesty could sometimes be brutal. He remembered the time he just told him “You look fat”. Then he talked about it to Trey, who shared a story about their activity in the Science Club when he told the teacher that the first activity was boring and they ended up getting a much more difficult task, which gave their juniors a bit of trouble.
He sighed. How troublesome. “Make sure to inform the Headmaster about this.” Althoughㅡ it’s not like he’d be of much help, seeing as how he often dumps serious issues regarding the school onto the prefect and the other students.
“Oui, Roi du Poison.” Rook took his hat off, then placed it to his heart. An amused smile on his face. He went off, carrying his bow and arrows. The ones that he often used to send a message.
Vil did not want to get involved in thisㅡ but if what Rook was telling him was correct, then it’s only a matter of time before more of these doppelgangers will arrive. There’s a good chance their own doppelgangers may appear as well. If someone who looked exactly like him were to come to this world, there’s a chance he might ruin his image. He knew he could trust Rook to notice that the doppelganger wasn’t him.
After allㅡ his eyes were more accurate than any scale.
Lilac eyes gazed out the window, watching the night sky. For each star that twinkles, there was a new thought in his head; And each thought was occupied by that girl from another world. She had joined the Movie Appreciation Club as a scriptwriter after Rook had shown him some of her work. While she needed more confidence in herself, she was adapting quite splendidly to the environment of the club.
It’s strangeㅡ Vil didn’t think she’d be the sort that he’d associate himself with. Not really for the reason that she was terrible looking. In fact, she'd be considered quite decent in his eyesㅡ Only needed to remember to do self-care more often. It was more for the mere fact that she was the troublesome sort. She gained quite the reputation for getting into all sorts of trouble ever since she first arrived at Twisted Wonderland, and now this new situation involved her with how the doppelgangers seemed to speak of her, referring to her as their master for some reason.
As a busy man, he’d know better than to be around people that would make things harder for him. But as he came to know her, he realized it wasn’t her fault that these things kept happening to her. The girl just had awful luck, it seemed. He understood how it felt; Being unable to control the wretched fate that befell you.
He sighed, crossing his arms. “You’re just a magnet for trouble, aren’t you?”
Crowley’s concealed eyes scanned the documents on his desk. He’s finally gotten time to investigate more on ways that he could send Mari back home. She’d been bugging him about it for quite a while now, saying things like “I miss my family”. Really, the girl could stand to be more patient. At least he was gracious enough to be looking for her instead of making her do it all on her own.
He looked back down and noticed something interesting. A possible lead, perhaps?
“Eek!” He shrieked when an arrow hit the wooden space on his desk, just above the documents that he held. It felt as though his heart would jump out of his chest. Then, he realized that the arrow had a piece of paper attached to it. Gloved hands took the arrow from the desk and untied the letter from it, unfolding it. Eyes skimmed over the contents of it.
His jaw hit the floor at what he read before promptly picking it back up; he proceeded to grab his phone and call his prefect.
“Yes, Mari. Where are you? There are these doppelgangers of Trappola and Spade. Be careful wit-”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
50 notes · View notes
Kuroo x Reader - Scenario
desc: sometimes loneliness finds you in your weakest moments. however, even as you grapple with your feelings for Kuroo, he still manages to make you feel at home.
warnings: depictions/discussions of loneliness, anxiety, mild angst, briefly mentions family issues, language
This isn’t exactly what Kuroo had expected when you’d texted him to come get you from the campus library.
He’d driven up to the building’s curb-side donning a gray hoodie and a cheeky, cheshire grin, ready to take you back to the apartment and put on some sort of sci-fi movie. But as you slowly approach the dented, familiar car, your feet lightly dragging on the concrete as you grew closer, he realizes that the movie watching would have to wait.
Because as he opens the tinted passenger-side window, Kuroo can tell you’ve been crying.
It was dark out, something you had hoped would disguise your teary eyes. But grief was etched into the lines of a tired grimace and the illumination of the lamppost was just bright enough to reveal your tear-streaked cheeks. By the look of it, he could deduce that you’ve been wiping them away for a while now.
Kuroo can’t help but stare, taken-aback by the puffiness in your face and that lost look in your eyes. You seemed so vulnerable, so alone out in the open like that.
If it weren’t for his tight, surprise-induced grip on the wheel, he would’ve gotten out of the car and held you right where you stood. But his feelings for you were… more than complicated. You also appeared uncomfortable standing out there on your own, and understandably so. This wasn’t exactly your emotional norm. Or at least, knowing you, he didn’t think it was.
You tugged at your sleeves, biting your lip sharply enough that Kuroo thought it had to hurt, and avoided his golden gaze. You were ashamed that he had to see you like this.
Kuroo, your roommate turned best friend, was finally witnessing one of your infrequent, but debilitating mental breakdowns. No one was supposed to see you like this, eyes red and lips bruised from frustrated chewing. It was rare to even see you cry outside of a movie theater or without your face being wedged between the pages of a book with some sort of sentimental value, so this was quite emotionally revealing to say the least.
It must have come as a bit of a shock to your usually more talkative, teasing friend, but if he was startled, he didn’t show it. Kuroo kept a calm demeanor and softened his features after getting a good look at you through the window.
But you remained a safe distance from the car, not yet ready to hop in yet. Because once you did you knew there would be questions.
The bed-headed boy had always been observant, sometimes to the point where you wondered if he had mind-reading abilities. He always noticed your mood changes and quirked expressions even when you were sure you’d hidden them well enough. Whether it was the sparkle of elation in your eye when you’d received a good grade on a project you’d poured your all into or the way your face fell while you crashed onto the couch after a failed date, Kuroo knew each and every look perfectly. Some might wonder why he cared to memorize your expressions and their meanings, but you passed it off as something that all best friends could do.
Either way, the novelty of the situation had him at a loss, so you were sure that the questions would roll once you’d made it back to the quiet of the apartment.
But the problem is... questions mean closeness.
You didn’t quite want to be an open-book with him yet. At least not to the point of spilling your heart out all over him in a messy stream of tears and endless sniffles.
Not when you were balancing your friendship and feelings for him. Not when he made your heart flutter helplessly like that. Not when your living arrangements required a certain level of comfort and freedom from both parties. And definitely not when you’d just been crying over the perpetual state of loneliness you periodically found yourself in.
Because in all honesty, you really liked Kuroo.
And you had every reason to like him. From the black, rooster hair that you’d ruffle first thing in the morning while he made his espresso. The displeased face he pulled whenever he attempted to drink it without milk and sugar to feel more ‘sophisticated.’ The goofy, jabbing comments that managed to make you laugh after an achingly long day…
And those small, seemingly innocent touches. The ones that sent sparks flying within your chest, warming you from the center of your heart all the way up to your burning cheeks. His eyes grew warmer, dare you say affectionate, after seeing your face light up from one of his stupid science puns that other friends of his would simply sigh at. It had your heart on overdrive.
Feelings could really fuck with this world you two had built together.
It was already hard enough living with him. You were so close, yet still so far from his reach. Your sock clad feet could rest on his lap, but not your head. You could tug at his hair, but you couldn’t tenderly twirl it around. And he could always flirt with you, leaving your skin burning hotter than a midsummer Carolina night, but you wouldn’t let yourself comment back, fearful that your true feelings would come out.
But just like dirty laundry, you were airing yourself out to the world. Or at least to the ebony-haired boy who you considered to be a big part of your world.
You’re not quite sure why you’d called him of all people anyway. You could’ve just as easily texted someone who wouldn’t ask for an explanation. Your tears would’ve probably dried by the time you’d gotten home if you’d chosen to grab an Ub*r. But you knew he would be worried for you, though his sharp eyes hid it so well.
Underneath all of the wit and humor, those scheming smiles and that fiery determination, Kuroo was softhearted. He would listen, advise, and worst of all… he would understand, which scared you. You had already fallen hard for him and letting him see into that blackhole, that pool of murky, suffocating loneliness, would only make you want to hold him more.
But for him to see right through you, right into your long-suffering feelings for him and for them to not be reciprocated… it would break you.
“...Hey.” Kuroo’s smile fades, his softened voice pricking at your heart a little.
He sifts through the right words to say. What phrasing would sound the most comforting? What sounded the most natural coming from him? It was like trying to catch a plummeting piece of pottery. Kuroo wanted to break your mental fall and give you something softer to land on. You were all but shattering right in front of him, so he opted for words that soothed. Words he wished he’d heard years ago when he’d been at his lowest point.
“Let’s go home.”
He said it so steadily. So simply. There was authority in his tone, but it wasn’t sharp. Just sure.
How could one little word give you so much hope?
‘Home’ meant warmth. It meant safety and security. ‘Home’ was where you could be yourself, take a deep breath, and release whispery secrets out loud without fear of judgement.
You knew Kuroo meant your apartment when he’d said ‘home’ but you can’t help but think that there was some sentimental value to it.
You gave a sniff followed by a quiet, slightly nasally response,
You hear the click from him unlocking the car doors and you step in slowly, one foot in, then the next. Your hands, still a little shaky, plopped down on your legs and your eyes glued themselves to the dark, starlit sky through the windshield.
You’re exhausted and you feel a little out of place, but you’re just glad you’re not alone anymore, even if his steady, thoughtful gaze is basically burning a hole in your head right now.
Your breath quietly hitches at the sudden warmth seeping into your exposed skin.
He had rested a hand on your knee, a concerned look decorating his features, and begun stroking it slowly with his thumb. His methodical movements intended to soothe an already very fragile person.
Kuroo had only touched you like this once before. At a time when your eyes were frantic and your heart, pacing with worry. You had been drowning in finals papers and your mind threatened to go into an anxious spiral. Yet somehow, his touch, his selective words, and his offer to help you out had kept you afloat. Thanks to Kuroo, you managed to keep from breaking down then.
This time however, he was a bit too late.
But he kept drawing little circles, analyzing a new, yet strangely familiar face. An expression you hadn’t personally worn before, but that he’d seen somewhere in the past.
You feared that if he kept staring, the tears would start to fall all over again, his touch only reminding you of just how lonely you really were. So close to him, yet so far.
“Can we just go?” You plead, voice at a whisper.
And as you glance over to him, he can tell that there’s something you want to say, but you can’t quite put it into words. At least not right at this moment.
“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking…” Kuroo’s voice is low. He nods, but doesn’t quite finish his thought.
It would be better to get you home first before asking about anything. Otherwise you might shut down on him entirely. Whether or not you realized it, Kuroo was well aware of your tendency to avoid these more ‘personal topics.’ When something got too close to home, you were suddenly tired and needed to catch some extra Z’s. When he got a bit flirty, suddenly your phone became incredibly interesting. And any time he caught you close to tears, you would play it off as though it were nothing you couldn’t handle on your own.
But you aren’t nothing to Kuroo.
So far from it, actually.
You were as close to ‘home’ as he’d ever gotten.
Without having much close family, home was more of a physical destination to Kuroo. A structure with a solid door and a bed to crawl into. Where he could study in peace and quiet...
But there was always an emptiness deeply set within that silence.
It was impersonal at best. At worst, the space was frigid and lifeless. The iciness of the house took a toll on him, resulting in an anxious, quiet child. One who could hardly speak to friends and couldn’t look an adult in the eye.
Only when he’d met Kenma, when he had finally discovered a place where warmth overcame the bitter tundra of loneliness, did Kuroo understand what ‘home’ was supposed to be like.
‘Home’ was always welcoming.
It was birthdays with cake and ice cream. It became multiplayer video games and frustrated sighs or bickering after a shitty round of Mario Kart. It turned into short jaunts with friends to a local 7/11 where one could spend way too much money on a basket full of snacks. It was locking eyes with you for the first time after agreeing to room with a stranger at university. It was finding out that you two shared classes and could walk together every morning. ‘Home’ was found within the conversations that bloomed like a bright, young flower from your many hours willingly spent together over the next couple of years.
And in time, you two learned each other's patterns, quirks, and minds, thus growing increasingly comfortable in the other’s presence.
‘Home,’ in its truest form, is a beautiful thing and you wore it radiantly. To the point that Kuroo had caught his own fluttering feelings for you over the years, but even his best efforts to tell you were thwarted by your little diversions.
But that didn’t matter right now. Kuroo had finally gotten you two pulled into the parking lot after a painfully quiet drive home, so he needed to focus on getting you inside and comfortable.
“Just sit there, I’ll get your door.” Kuroo directed gently.
You nod, staying in place because you really didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now.
He tugs at the door handle and before you can blink, he’s got your arm looped around his. Something he only did teasingly in the past, usually resulting in you shoving him playfully away from you. You can’t bring yourself to push him off of you and, even though you’re already warm from the heat that’s spreading to your face, you find yourself leaning into his side.
Kuroo is comfortingly warm, you note. The way he tugs you closer has you mentally tripping over yourself. You can feel the heat from his forearm radiating through your thin, long-sleeved shirt as he walks you up the stairs and towards the apartment door.
The echo of your footsteps end as you two enter the flat and, knowing that there’s a lot to talk about, you opt to grab a fuzzy blanket from the basket beside the couch and prop yourself up on a barstool at the small kitchen island.
“You want some tea?” Kuroo turns his head to check with you, his hands already busy at work getting the water boiling for his own mug.
“Yeah, something with ginger in it maybe?” You mumble out, sniffling again.
“Already got it.” He shoots you a small smile, flashing you the tea packet wedged between his index and his thumb.
He knew you pretty damn well, you guessed.
“So y/n… you wanna tell me what happened tonight?”
Kuroo’s words are prompting, but you assume he’s already got some ideas of his own.
“Would you hate me if I said no?” You let a shy, humorous smile peek through your otherwise exhausted face.
“Y/n…” Kuroo sighs, running a hand through his hair and leaning back against the countertop opposite to your seat at the kitchen island.
He’s trying his hardest to maintain some level of calm, but the fact that you won’t tell him has him even more frustrated. You had every right to keep your business to yourself… but you looked like you were dying to tell him something.
Kuroo opens his mouth again, his brow creasing when you don’t answer, but you don’t let him get another word in.
“I-- I’m just not really sure where to start.” Your eyes grow a little hazy as you begin to decipher your feelings again. You let your elbows rest on the countertop, but use your hands to prop up your chin, glancing from Kuroo’s golden irises to the steaming water on the stove.
“You can start wherever.” Kuroo answers easily, his head tilting a little.
“It may take awhile to explain…” You press, both warning him and buying yourself some time.
“I’ve got all night, sweetheart.” He quips back, unfazed by your attempts at stalling.
He turns to pour the hot water into two mugs, tea bags already resting at the bottom of the cups. Kuroo turns back, grasping both mugs and setting both on the island, only to realize that your face has changed once again.
You’re anxious. Unsure. He can see it in the way you’re studying him, trying to gage his potential reaction to what you’re about to say. And unfortunately, Kuroo recognized the look faraway in your eyes. A blank, helpless stare that he himself had once wore when the sharp fangs of loneliness had once latched onto him.
So he takes a few steps toward your side of the kitchen, sets the mugs aside, and leans his forearms on the counter. Kuroo meets your eyes at a much closer range. Your arms fold into your chest in an odd, physical attempt to hold in a breath because his face is so close to yours now.
“Look…” He huffs out, “You really don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but I need you to know,”
He lifts a hand out and tilts your chin up, leaving you dumbfounded by the confidence in his reassuring touch.
“You can tell me anything, okay? I’ll always be right here.”
He’d managed to, once again, send you into a state of complete, baffling security. It might’ve helped that, even bent over the counter, his towering figure and stronger build allowed you to feel just as protected outside as you did in. Not only were the butterflies in your stomach acting up again and the burn in your cheeks back with a vengeance, but a wave of bravery flowed into you.
And that word flickers through your mind like a firefly.
And ‘home’ meant safety. And safety meant you could speak freely.
So you do.
“It’s just… I haven’t been doing too well lately.” You blink at him, words frank to the point that they’re almost hilarious.
He blinks back… and then a milder version of that cheeky grin is back, followed by, “Well, I think I could glean at least that much.”
Kuroo’s fingers fall from your face, but he doesn’t break eye-contact except to snag a chair. He sits right across from you, resting his cheek in his palm. Partly to cover up the tint spreading across his cheeks, partly to fix his full attention on you.
You give him a weak but real smile and slouch into your chair, letting your tight shoulders loosen up a little bit.
“Give me a break okay?” You flick his forehead and he bites his lip, but it still remains in that lopsided smile.
However, your smile fades as his own face grows a little more serious, drawing the both of you back to the topic at hand.
“Kuroo, I’ve just been really... lonely.” You let out, voice small and soft compared to the teasing tone you’d carried seconds ago. “Like there’s this weight, this pressure inside of my chest and it just won’t lift no matter what I try, y’know? But today...”
You huff, letting out a deep sigh, “I think I finally hit some sort of breaking point.”
“I mean, saying that out loud feels really dramatic, but I think that’s all I can equate it to? And I guess it just came out in tears...” You express, looking down at your hands and messing with your own fingers. You felt silly. Like you’d built everything up only for it to sound like a stupid little problem.
But Kuroo’s face convinced you that he was taking every word seriously. That every little phrase mattered.
“Okay…” Kuroo processes, scanning your face and glancing down at your hands.
“So then why didn’t you say anything before?”
Well… that’s a pretty fair question, you think to yourself.
Because being real with someone meant being vulnerable? Because ridding yourself of loneliness meant putting your secrets and feelings out there in the open? Because it meant that closeness and proximity would change with whoever you shared your thoughts with? And because, specifically with Kuroo, you fear that the attachment would be too much for you to handle? All of these were the truth.
It’s hard to pick one answer, so you choose something simpler.
“I… was scared.” You admit, looking away from his gaze.
“Have you always felt this way?” His question at first sounds straightforward, but there’s a somber twinge to his voice.
“...Even around me?” And there’s the pause. Your words had definitely stung.
“I- Kuroo, that’s not fair…” You catch yourself speaking faster than you can think.
“You know you’re the only…” The answer is almost honest, nearly the truth… but the words catch in your throat as you realize what you’re saying.
“I- I mean… not around you,” You stutter out, hands actually making their way to your face this time. “What am I saying…”
You’d started this night crying hurt-heavy tears from not being able to open up to anyone... And now you’ve been reduced to this flustered, hot mess in a matter of hours? Who even were you today?
“You were saying that, ‘I’m the only… ?’” Kuroo tilts his head once again, this time in confusion.
There’s a flash of panic in your eyes. But not out of fear. It’s out of… embarrassment?
Then a lightbulb goes off and Kuroo’s eyes widen slightly in a slow realization. The puzzles pieces had finally clicked together, one by one.
You were both so close. So close to touching. So close to being something more all the time… but never close enough to tell him how you really felt. About him and about how much things, to put it lightly, sucked for you right now. And you’d pushed it to be that way. You’d purposefully kept yourself away because openness hurts. At some point in time, you had somehow convinced yourself that being vulnerable on purpose was far more painful than suffering in silence.
And you can tell that Kuroo has caught on. But not because he’s grinning nor because he’s said anything to make you think so. No, it’s those eyes again.
He’s giving you that softened look again.
The one that could convince you that maybe there was more to this ‘friendship’ than what you were allowing yourself to admit. A look that reminded you of ‘home’ more than any other person, city, or beautiful, sturdy building could.
And, once more, Kuroo’s touch surprises you. A hand found its way to your own, grasping it firmly, the confidence in his outreach creating a deep contrast to the uncharacteristic, shy pink painting his cheeks.
“Can I be completely honest with you?” He cuts you off, eyes fixed on your hands locked within his own.
“Well, it wouldn’t be like you to be anything else, would it?” You manage to stammer out, nerves reaching your voice.
“You’re not wrong.” Kuroo hums, rubbing your hand with his thumb.
“But I think now is a good time to say that I never want you to feel alone.” He starts, “I never want you to feel lonely like that because you’ve always made me feel so… at home.”
That word again.
“Like I couldn’t be lonely even if everyone I knew left me. Because at least I’d have you, y/n.” And if your heart wasn’t already racing furiously, it’s now beating loudly enough that you would be surprised if he couldn’t hear it.
“Well, I mean if Kenma ditched me, that would suck and I’d probably be miserable for awhile, but that’s beside the point.” His lip twitches into a quick smile, lightening the mood.
“What I’m trying to say is that I- I like you. And, I think you might like me too…” He searches your gaze for some sort of confirmation.
“But whatever you feel towards me, I never want you to handle loneliness by yourself.”
“You’ll always have me. Whenever you need me. You’re home to me, y/n. I don’t say that lightly.”
He goes to release your hand, but you quickly tangle your digits with his, earning yourself a quick glance from his usually less revealing eyes.
“You’re home to me too.”
Your voice is small. The phrase comes out quickly. The emotion is heavily emphasized in that word ‘home’ again… but you mean it with every ounce of your being.
And looking into his eyes, you’re being affirmed by his knowing presence. That adoring look that’s reserved just for you, on full display. Absolute affection seeping through the gentle break of his smile.
“And I might like you too… just a little.” You break into your own small smile, reaching with the other hand to brush his messy hair away from his eyes.
And you’re shocked by the simplicity of your actions. Surprised by the sudden freedom you’ve given your hands.
Because now he’s close enough.
Close enough to card your fingers through his hair as tenderly as you pleased. Close enough to grab hold of him in a long, hopeful hug when the nights get cold or as dreams go sour. Close enough for his warmth to melt away the iciness of those lonesome feelings.
And best of all… Kuroo was finally close enough to call ‘home.’
Do Not Repost
tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @miss-rin, @shou-kunn, @senkuwu-chan, @super-noya, @stcrryskies, @holaaaf, @sugacookiies, @vintgicals, @moonlightaangel, @kit-tea, @theworldupthere, @sugasugawarau, @randomesk-yuku, @ideshine, @macaronnv, @anseoo, @aprettyfruit, @bloom-uwu, @spikertrash, @bbakougo
(comment, dm, or send an ask to be added to my general tag list - blogs in bold could not be tagged)
335 notes · View notes
When I was 12 years old I got involved with online roleplay community. I was a very naive child who really wanted to connect with people, so soon enough it became my whole world. I quickly started to look up to one of the people on the forum - she (he? I honestly can’t imagine them being a girl but they used she/her pronouns) was creative, her characters were amazing and basically she was there for me from the start and encouraged me. Naturally she became kind of an authority for me. (1/?) 🌧
After a while she insisted for us to start roleplaying NSFW stuff. I was a child, I knew I shouldn’t do it... but I so desperately didn’t want to let her down. So I agreed, I wanted to be cool. It started off with very „vanilla” stuff, but soon the stories became more and more dark. Gruesome. Sadistic. Full of pain. I was always the side being hurt, the one taking all the pain. To this day I remember when I received a story, full of gore and graphic desc. of rape. As a „gift”... (2/?) 🌧And it was just a start. Even when I lost contact with that person, I always ended up in NSFW corners of every fandom and community I joined. At 13 I was receiving MLP porn from fucking adult men in Facebook messages. All my childhood was filled with fandom porn even though I didn’t even enjoy it. Obviously, I also ended up in oh-so-welcoming BDSM communities. And I feel like it inevitably fucked me up. Messed up with my brain. Traumatised me and broke me. (3/?) 🌧I’m 20 and I feel like I know nothing about my sexuality. I left all the communities, don’t involve in any NSFW part of any fandom. I ditched BDSM communities. And I’m... so fucking lost. I don’t know what to do. All of those memories just come back and mess up with me, but I feel like they are too embarrasing, too personal to just go to a therapist and talk about them. I feel like I could never do it. I have... no clue what to do. What step to take next. (4/?) 🌧I’m sorry for all of those asks and I hope I didn’t trigger you. You are a person who I’ve been quietly following and admiring for a long time, and you are so smart and I just... Do you maybe know what I should do? Where to go? Where ask for help? I’m really, absolutely lost and I feel like I’m just breaking down into pieces. I’m sorry but also... thank you so much for being on Tumblr. You helped me realised BDSM was unhealthy for me, and it already helped me so much... Thank you. (5/5) 🌧
Hello, love 🖤 I want to start by saying you are not alone, and are feeling exactly how I felt at age 21 🖤 when I left the BDSM community, and the world of kink that had defined me for so long (since my CP involvement at 12, first dom at 15, full blown community involvement at 17, and BDSM club appearances at 18 onwards) it was incredibly difficult for me to discover what my actual sexuality looked like outside of being an object to abuse and a mouth that said yes. You are not alone, even a bit 🖤🖤
Secondly, I want to say that I'm so, so sorry that this person took advantage of you like that. You were groomed, under no uncertain terms. And your child self was led by the hand by an adult into a traumatizing and porn-sick environment.
Third, I want to encourage you to not view yourself as "fucked up" or "broken". You experienced trauma. Now, you have reached a place of personal growth that you are able to identify that trauma. Next comes the healing, which is a process you are more than capable of, and will come alongside the discovery and celebration of a healthy sexuality. Id encourage you to start by getting everything that happened to you external to your head - whether that's journaling, or taking a walk in the woods and talking out loud to yourself about it, or sitting and confiding in a close companion, or even a therapist if you have the resources. The idea is to get it external to your mind, which will force you to sort and organize the information. Once you do this, it becomes much much easier to recognize the abuse as having external origins beyond your control. This process could take 30 minutes, it could take a week. But let it outside your body, and any emotions that come with it. Feel free to cry or scream. I had half a dozen breakdowns the first week I actually confronted my childhood experiences from a radical feminist perspective. Its heavy stuff, and letting your body mourn all of it is good and healthy. Then, you focus on healing. You watch movies with healthy relationships and read books with healthy relationships and you maybe read The Body Keeps the Score to learn more about healing from trauma, and you even start reading healthy erotica and letting yourself explore what interests you. Maybe its erotic massage, or certain positions, or slower or faster, or prolonged eye contact. You start making little notes in your head about what is healthy, and what interests you, and you explore those facets of your sexuality. And then you keep thinking about the bad things, but you contextualize them - you step away from jumbled memories full of shame and icky feelings, and move towards "when I was 12 a pedophile groomed me into sexual discussions with them, that turned more violent. This was a cruel act done unto me, and how grateful I am to know that I am healing from it now." As you heal, this clarity will come easier and easier.
So don't be fearful. You're on such a healthy path. I wish you all the best, love 🖤
100 notes · View notes
(chanting) oc time oc time!
descs under cut bc some of the writing is tiny
[image description: 4 digital drawings of original characters.
the first drawing is of two high school girls leaning against an alley wall. the first girl, miu, frowns angrily towards the camera. she has long, straight hair and gold earrings. the other girl, tomoko, is grinning. she has a mullet with shaved sides, a cochlear implant, and a medical eye patch over one eye. they are wearing school uniforms, but tomoko’s skirt is longer, her blazer is unbuttoned, and she is wearing metal-toed shoes. in the background, there are flyers and posters, including a missing person flyer.
the second drawing is of another two high school girls, sprout and masami. they are relaxing on a picnic blanket in the middle of a grassy field. sprout is a chubby girl with a dark complexion and glasses. her natural hair is under a green bandana and she is wearing a plaid green dress. she is sitting up, looking down at masami, who is laying on her side with her head propped up with one arm, turned away from the camera. masami has two long dark braids and is wearing a blue sweater, jeans and purple socks.
the third drawing is of masami and cunning. cunning is a thirty-something year old woman in a maroon blazer. her eyes are red, and her dark hair is piled in a messy bun. she is speaking energetically to masami, but masami is rolling her eyes and looks incredibly bored. cunning’s dialogue reads:
“masami i'm serious you know i don't legally exist and i know you're seventeen but we could make you a fake id or something idk how that works but i saw it in a movie once anyways i haven't had alcohol in over a thousand years and i really want to know what it tastes like now like have our grain fermenting technologies improved no i'm serious i'll pay you back i promise don't worry i'll get some cash and pay you back how much does a pack of beer cost anyways because i know nothing about the modern japanese economy the last time i was awake we didn't even have feudalism yet listen i'll even walk you to the store and everything i'm running out of options masami please help me out i don't ask you for much i can like curse that guy in your literature class for you.”
the fourth is a digitally drawn chart showing the relationships between all six characters. each person is represented with a small icon and a color, revealing their thoughts on the others. the text reads:
cunning, about masami: masami you are the only human i know stop ignoring my calls
masami, about cunning: please leave me alone you’re like a wine aunt but worse
sprout, about masami: gay thoughts head empty
masami, about sprout: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing show-stopping! ily
sprout, about kimie: you’re so much fun to talk to! let’s go out for brunch some time
kimie, about sprout: you are so funny and cool! one time you sent me a picture of a frog so i am forever grateful
masami, about kimie: kimie my friend kimie! i can’t believe you think i’m swag
kimie, about masami: masami my friend masami! you are very swag i hope you know that
tomoko, about kimie: you’re like my sister and i love you queen
kimie, about tomoko: thanks for teaching me how to shoplift
tomoko, about masami: you’re fine i guess
masami, about tomoko: please don’t take my lunch money
tomoko, about miu: babe can you bring me lunchables i’m in detention again
miu, about tomoko: let’s cut class and hold hands
masami, about miu: i don’t understand half of the references you make but i support you
miu, about masami: remember being kids? was that fucked up or what
60 notes · View notes