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#I did actually make myself cry while writing this yes
jamminvroomvroom · 26 days
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no more mister shy guy.
OP x fem!reader
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in which you can’t work out why he just won’t sleep with you
i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and i’ve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3
songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice
warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo don’t do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff
2.8k words
you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you don’t think he knows how pretty he is.
oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.
he’s bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. he’s no longer the scrawny, anxious guy you’d met at your fathers work event a year ago, he’s broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.
oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. you’ve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. you’d travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and you’d said yes to dinner before he’d even finished asking the question.
it’s february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and you’re sad to see him go, as if you won’t be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way you’ll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.
but then again, it can’t be worse than the way you ache for him now.
“sweetheart?” oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise he’s been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. “you okay?” he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.
“yeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why won’t you have sex with me?” you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what you’ve just said.
oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, he’s so gorgeous! and you didn’t want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.
you’d wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and you’d revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need to be… dealt with. urgently.
“i- um- what?” oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.
“is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?” you whisper, shy. “do you just not… like- do you not want to do that?” you ramble.
panic fills his face, and he’s rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. they’ve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.
“baby, no, god no.” he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasn’t you. “you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.” he promises. “i’m just… it’s scary.”
“oh, osc.” your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, i’m scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.”
“you didn’t make me feel pressured, i’m just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but i’ve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i won’t be good enough for you.” he murmurs.
you’re hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable he’s being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.
your hands smooth over his shoulders, until you’re softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.
“i love you. insanely. we’ll go slow.” you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise it’s for leverage, because the next thing you know, you’re in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and he’s kissing you so, so deeply that you’re dizzy. you don’t realise that you’re halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.
“i don’t wanna go slow anymore.”
oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.
he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.
“i need you, osc. i trust you.” you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. it’s not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, “want you inside of me so badly.”
the elastic band snaps and he’s on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.
“just wanna make you feel good.” oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.
“take these off.” you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.
painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where you’ve soaked through your panties. you’re panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.
he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as they’ll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you can’t believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.
“oh my god.” you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way he’s sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. you’d be blushing a deep red if you weren’t so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once he’s done with you.
you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.
you cum faster than ever, and he’s mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. you’re riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesn’t thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces it’s way out.
you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesn’t let up. he’s hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and you’re begging him. for what, you’re not sure, but you’re whimpering his name like you’re going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.
his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. that’s when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.
“oscar!” you try to warn him, but it’s too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldn’t be able to please you makes you squirt.
he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.
“holy shit.” you cry. you’re staring down at him like you’ve gone insane. he’s smiling innocently.
“was that good?” he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.
“are you… are you serious?” you rasp. oscar just shrugs. “get up here.” you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.
oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.
“please, oscar, fuck me.” you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.
“fucking love you.” he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.
“i love you.” you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you can’t help but stare. oh, it’s big.
his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure it’s okay to touch, and he’s rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.
“you ready for me?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“please.” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “however you want me, ‘m yours.” you breathe.
oscar’s eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then he’s pushing home, slow and deep.
“fucking hell.” he groans, guttural. you’re so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.
“oh.” you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. he’s so deep. “so full.” you pant.
“can you take it, sweetheart?” oscar’s lips bump your jaw. “want you to take it.” you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.
“move.” you plead. he’s staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.
oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.
“good?” he hisses, trying to keep composed. he’s finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.
“so good, so good.” you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.
“so pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.” he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like he’s never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.
the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.
“baby, what’s wrong?” oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.
“no, no, no, keep going.” you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. “it’s so good. feel so good.” you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.
he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didn’t think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didn’t even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if he’s trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.
thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; he’s wound your body up perfectly and you’ve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.
“can feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ‘n then i’m gonna fill you up.” oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscar’s filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.
you think you scream, you know that you’re sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally let’s go, it’s the most beautiful fucking thing you’ve ever seen. it’s surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. he’s muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.
“gonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. can’t live without this now. fucking perfect.” he’s rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.
“fuck.” you giggle, breathless.
“good?” he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.
“more than worth the wait.” you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. “you better not hold out on me ever again though.” oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.
“you promise?” there’s the shy guy again.
“osc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.”
“only if you behave for me.” he smirks down at you.
“there he is.” you sigh happily.
when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess he’s made, and then some, you wonder just what you’ve unleashed.
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whoops? lol
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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>< it is 4 am i will sleep soon but
#🌙.rambles#it's not easy to just stop being confused and lost & stop worrying but#i feel a lot better tonight after remembering a lot of things n crying did help >< i think it's fine for me to do more tomorrow instead#regrets are hard to deal with but i know i'm stronger than them. so i'll prove it and rise above all that#oh yeah there's some stuff in particular that's weighing me down that r too personal for me to share with anyone but#i think i can handle that better now. in time.#we're all still so young n there's so much we have yet to learn and experience. we're still developing.... n that's part of being human.#GOD WAIT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT TO WRITE WHEN I MADE THIS POST BUT YEAH POINT STANDS#i've just been listening to music for the past few hours i think while writing n doing other stuff#wait my mind is wandering;;;; i barely ate anything today.... just breakfast then some pastries then. half eaten lunch?#i'll take better care of myself tomorrow. this weekend. and next week especially when sembreak ! yes#i'm really gna have to sleep soon though oh my god how do i survive weekdays when i never get enough sleep unless i'm sick 😭😭#anyways. wait. music ! KINGDOM HEARTS.... FINAL FANTASY XV#started both in 2019 n finished in 2020 summer when i picked them up again.... wait.... my mind is wandering#i find it really interesting how the way we help others really says a lot about us ourselves as people#i've analyzed that a lot before n i am again now at 4 am oh no . i realize though that. for my own self#i'm actually rather affectionate at heart huh;;;; it makes me a bit shy thinking about that . i blame the stories and the final fantasy#compliments from the heart. how much i value you for who you are. and what you mean to me. i love to be direct about that#advice as the sort of person i know you are. because i love you. i'm romantic ! but not in a relationship way or wtvr here ok .#on that thought sometimes i realize i may often come across as aroace but goddamn i really just get shy n hide with that sort of topic#i will Deny till the day i die </3#i cld ramble more about this but it is now 4:20 n BACK TO KINGDOM HEARTS#hmm i was barely a teen when i played kh3/ffxv. thinking abt it n especially the latter really influenced me for life#earlier while listening to her ost i was thinking about how since i only played kh3 i don't know too much about the series' lore#& xion. but i find it interesting how. her theme is my fav from the charas. i really loved her name (i used it for the protag in a short#story back in gr9 for school). i never really knew too much about her but god i feel like. idk just a connection that's. hmmm#older now thinking more of her character she really really appeals to me. from her design n personality n it seems like fate. we're similar#wait this is so fucking dumb i searched up noctis n i immediately smiled . damn . he. 🥹 still so special to me#i shld replay kh3 n ffxv soon. my childhood. anyways it is nearly 4:40 holy shit i have to wake up at 5:30 GOOD NIGHT
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Broken Faith - LN
Summary: Y/n loses confidence in her and Lando getting past a rough patch but Lando can't lose her.
I've been listening to sad songs. Time to write about an imperfect relationship.
Themes: Break up (briefly tbh bc our man is a fighter)
No part 2 requests please
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Y/n stares at herself in the bathroom mirror, tears having already spilled over her cheeks making her wipe aggressively at it. She doesn't want to hurt him. But everything feels so fractured.
"Get it together. This is the right thing." Y/n grunts staring at herself angrily.
Lando is out in the living room, home for once and she had arrived, tried to address everything but wussed out and excused herself to the bathroom.
Again she rubs her face grateful she didn't bother with make up. She already knew she'd be in tears but she hasn't even started the conversation yet.
"Y/n, I love you. I really really love you." Lando grins making her smile and swallow thickly.
Eventually she walks out and she sighs sniffling and moving to go hit the nail on the head.
"Have you been crying?" Lando questions before y/n can attempt a word out.
"Yes. Lando, I have to tell you something and I need you to listen. Just let me talk and then when I'm done you have your chance. Ok?"
"Can I say ok?"
Y/n looks at him, she knows he wants to make lightly of serious things but this time, it's not doing anyone any favours.
"Ok, ok. I'm listening." Lando nods realising that his humour isn't appreciated.
"I just want to start by saying that you need to know that I love you so much. So much that this has been killing me inside." Y/n states while Lando's concerned expression darkens, his mind rushing with what she's about to do. "Things haven't been right between us. We've been arguing or just...ignoring each other when we aren't arguing. It's no one's fault. But we need to stop."
Y/n pauses feeling her lip tremble as she looks at Lando.
"Stop?" He questions making her chest feel almost as still as stone. "We can do better, I know what you're saying. I get it."
"Lando...no. This is...we can't stay together. Not like this but not even trying to change. It's not fair on you and it's not fair on me."
"But you're not even trying." Lando stresses making her sigh.
"I'm sorry." Y/n mumbles watching as he shakes his head. "I'm sorry."
"No. No. I'm not just-"
"Space and time will make you realise that this is better, Lando. I-I can't pretend that we've even got anything left to save. I'd try if we did." Y/n states then hiccuping. "I don't want this but I can't keep forcing us to do this-I can't force myself to do this."
"You're giving up." Lando mutters making her almost flinch as if she's been slapped. The accusatory tone behind his voice does actually hurt.
"I should go."
"No. You can't just go. You can't just do this." Lando states now with his own voice wobbling. "You can't just...leave."
"This is for the better."
"But...I love you."
"Lando...this isn't...This isn't about love, it's...more than that. You can't have a relationship just because you love someone."
"I'm not going to give up even if you leave." Lando declares while y/n swallows back thickly. "So you can stay and talk or I'll come find you to talk to later."
"You're fighting the inevitable, Lando...don't make this hurt more than it already does."
"I'm fighting the preventable."
"You can't prevent something that's already happened, Lando." Y/n whispers not bothering to wipe away her tears from her cheeks as she stands up. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. I'll follow you where ever you want to go and we'll talk when you've got out whatever hole you've let you head fall into."
Y/n picks up her stuff, pushing her back over her shoulder before she moves away from him and leaves.
-
Y/n curled up on her parents sofa, completely having cried herself to exhausted. Her mum is taking a bit of comfort in being able to take care of her daughter to make sure her self-inflicted broken heart has every chance of healing.
"You really fumbled." Y/n's cousin states from the lounge chair earning a glare from y/n and her aunt. "Oh come on, you know you did. That's why it hurts."
Y/n takes a breath to reply but the door bell rings and her cousin jumps up offering to be the first to go and answers the door. The voice that floats through as soon as the door is opened makes y/n and her mum lift their heads.
"Y/n, your ex is here." Y/c/n smiles sweetly as Lando follows her in looking a wreck which makes more tears fill her eyes.
"Honey?" Y/m/n whispers rubbing her leg gently to try and get some sort of words out, really hoping her daughter might display something more in terms of letting her know if she needs to politely show Lando back out.
"It's ok." Y/n mumble hardly recognising her own voice as her mum stands up gently touching Lando's arm in a comforting motherly way, because she knows he's done nothing wrong and she almost respects him for showing up.
After all y/n has been a mess, and y/m/n knows it's really massively down to her daughter that this all happened. Jumping the gun and throwing herself into an impulsive decision because she thought it was the "right" solution which would have the best outcome.
Y/n and Lando find themselves alone and not really sure what to do with themselves. Or more not actually sure what to say to one another.
"I had to check if this had been worth it for you." Lando admits suddenly then shrugging. "It doesn't feel so bad seeing that you're hurting too."
"Lando...I didn't do any of this to hurt you." Y/n sighs as he moves and sits down in her mum's spot, her eyes beginning to spill over. "I-I didn't want any of this. I didn't want to lose you, but...but we were hardly even in a relationship. It felt like I was pretending to be with someone who didn't really want to be with me at all."
"You didn't even talk to me until you decided it was over."
"Because...I felt like it was too late to talk about it." Y/n whispers using the sleeves of her sweater to wipe her face.
"It's never too late." Lando mumbles but she's not sure if it's to convince himself or her. "Y/n please don't make me leave here still single. Don't make me feel like there's really nothing between us anything more. Please."
Y/n is at a loss for words. She wants to insist this is a bad decision and that it will only end more painfully than the first. Which was bad enough and she was really trying for it to be an amicable ending to their relationship. An ending of joint understanding that something had gone somewhere.
"I know I was neglecting you. I know we-we argued and I was usually just being stubbornly in the wrong and hating it. But if you could just let me make it right, then I promise I won't let you feel as shitty as you had to have felt if you had to end this as the solution." Lando states clearly having reflected even if he felt as completely shit. "I love you...I always will. So you can make me leave here today, but it's not going to change that. Ever."
"My cousin let you in because she thinks I fucked up." Y/n whispers making Lando pull a face which tells her that he slightly agrees.
"You jumped to the most extreme reaction..." Lando mumbles while she tries to not feel like he's scolding her but really that is sort of the case. "I'll do better."
"Can you really forgive me for this though?" Y/n questions since really now that's the issue. "If we got back together could you really forgive me?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Really! Y/n, for fuck sake. If I didn't want to be with you. If I thought there was nothing worth fighting for. I promise you, I wouldn't be here." Lando states abruptly making her jump a little. "Sorry, it's just...I told you I'm not letting you slip out my hands because of a rough patch. I'm not here fighting for you looking like I've been crying till I ran out of tears because I want to waste my energy. We know where we were going wrong so this time we'll fix it."
"Restarting our relationship looking like an absolute mess." Y/n laughs sniffling a little as she sighs. "Alright, come on then. First things first we both need to shower and try to depuff our eyes...and by the way, you shouldn't have driven when you were so upset."
"I was on a mission. My idiot girlfriend was being overdramatic." Lando shrugs with a heavy sigh but there's a smirk on his lips. "For a good reason, but overdramatic nevertheless."
"Hey! Your mum wants to know what the yelling is about?"
"We're not yelling, go away, y/c/n." Y/n sighs shaking her head before she looks at Lando while her cousin surprisingly does as she's told. "Clean up?"
"Yeah, we both smell really bad." Lando grins while she tsks poking his side making him laugh. "At least I know we were both a mess without each other."
"Yeah, well my pain was self-inflected. At least you get to say everything you did was my fault."
"Y/n...I let us get to the point that you gelt like breaking up was the only solution. It's not the only solution, that's why we/re fixing it and getting through it." Lando assures earning a small smile and nod before he leans forward and kisses her. "We are going to be just perfect."
"Because we're perfect?" Y/n hums making him grin at her.
"Of course." Lando confirms then standing up and offering his hand. "Come on stinky. Shower time."
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darkfemininenergy · 9 months
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HE’S AT YOUR WINDOW ━ ethan landry
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pairing: gf!ethan x naive!reader
warning: stalker behavior, mention of murder, ghostface call, possessiveness, manipulation
author’s note: thinking about actually write a one shot about these, what do you think ?
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gf!ethan who calls you as ghostface just to scare you, while flirting with you. “tell me sweetheart, do you have a boyfriend ?” “n-no” “no ? what a shame, such a pretty one you are, but i guess that means that i have you all to myself”
gf!ethan who rassures you after you came crying to him about a scary call you receive last night, “shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, i won’t let anything hurt you, y/n” and that was true.
gf!ethan who calls you again right after murdering that frat boy you were dancing and flirting with at a party, “now y/n, you’ve been really bad. you do know that nobody is allowed to touch you besides me, right ? so why did you do that, uh ? letting him rest his dirty hands on your pretty hips” that night, you receive a box right in front your door, in which you found your flirt's severed hands full of blood.
gf!ethan who make sure that you were not there during the attacks, except for the appartement one where he make sure not to hurt you.
gf!ethan who send you pictures of you changing in your room from your window, only in your underwear. “what a cute pair, did you wear these for me, sweet thing ?”
gf!ethan who continues to scare you because every time, you came to him for comfort, the shy dorky guy, it gives him opportunity to be alone with you. he proposes you to stay the night at his, or him to stay at your apartment. “hey, sweetheart, no need to cry, you’re safe with me, okay ?” “do you want me to stay the night with you ?” “yes please, i don’t wanna be alone”
gf!ethan who is sick of mindy’s accusations, but god, you looked so cute defending him over and over. “mindy, stop it, it could never be ethan, he's always with me to comfort and protect me whenever i get a call” “i’m sorry that mindy is giving you a harsh time” “it’s okay, besides, she’s right, it could be anyone” “yeah, but not you, though” oh, how naive you were.
gf!ethan who follows you home to make sure you’re safe. making sure no one tried to touch you.
2K notes · View notes
ponderingmoonlight · 5 months
Note
Heyyy, i love ur jjk fics so when u posted abt writing for aot i SCREAMED bc ik you'll do it justice 😩❤❤
Do u reckon u could do like a levi post rumbling fic bc i need the confort rn and SO DOES HE I NEED HAPPY LEVI PLSS ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
When I tell you I had to write this IMMEDIATELY <3 Please let me know if you like it, this is my first AOT fic EVER
Levi finally getting his happy end with (y/n) after the rumbling
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Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!reader
Word Count: 2k
Synopsis: When he met you after first stepping a foot at Marley, Levi didn't forget you until the very end. But while he thought you died through the rumbling, he meets you again for his happy end.
Warnings: this is the comfort I needed, I actually had to cry while writing this, not proofread because I wanted to publish this asap
Tags: @sanicsmut begging on my knees, please I hope you like this
You’ve been on his mind ever since he met you on that fateful day at Marley. So gorgeous that he couldn’t take his eyes off you, a smile so sweet it could melt even metal. Yes, you were so different from what he expected to find across that ocean, a truly pleasant surprise to say the least.
“Oh, you are quite small for a grown man!” you commented, giggling so effortlessly that Levi wasn’t able to even react to your rude comment.
“But to be honest, I’m a little small myself. Well, not all of us can be tall, right? Where are you from, stranger?”
“None of your business.”
His voice sounded harsher that anticipated, making your joyful face drop in an instant. Why…Why the hell did it even bother him to see you like that, that sad glow that formed in your eyes?
“I’m not from here”, he added.
“Oh, I see! Don’t worry about it too much, it’s like everywhere else!”
Oh, if you only knew how wrong that statement was.
His eyes landed on your right arm and the star that covered the sleeve of your blouse. Why would you wear such a badge? Upon closer inspection, he noticed your shattered clothing, the hem of your earth coloured dress completely torn.  
Before Levi was even able to react two men ran into you, forcefully pushing your body into the dirt of the streets.
“Get out of the way, scum”, one of them hissed towards you.
Anger rose inside his veins immediately. You were just standing there, minding your own business. Why on earth did they push you?
“Watch your step”, his voice suddenly called towards the men.
“Please, it’s alright. Don’t get into trouble because of me.”
And then your hand rested against his shoulders, making his heart beat so loud that Levi swore you could hear it. What was this? Why did your little innocent touch turn him all flustered?
Something about you just seems different. No, despite the fact that it is so wrong, despite being here only for a mission, his mind wanders to you every free second.
Even though you might be dead by now.
“I will leave after tonight”, he announced into darkness, your moonlit features making it hard for him to focus on staying serious.
Your lip began to tremble, glossy eyes darting towards him.
“What? But why do you have to leave? You just arrived…”
“I came here because I have a mission to accomplish, (y/n).”
“But you will return when you’re done, right?”
The hopeful tone in your voice killed him from the inside. Oh, how much he wished he could just take you with him, how much he’d love to have more time with you. But this is simply not possible.
His cold eyes glared at you through the darkness, desperately trying to keep his composure.
“I might never return to this place, (y/n).”
You felt like someone pulled the ground from beneath your feet. Within the last few weeks, you learned that Levi’s hard façade isn’t more than a trick. No, in fact, he carries a character made of pure gold.
You started to like him.
“Then I’ll find you wherever you’ll go.”
And you did. You never missed to write him letters. Levi can’t help but wonder how you did that, your elegant handwriting following him through the darkness of the night, lighting up his mood despite the situation he’s in. Yes, he looked forward hearing from you every single day.
Until the rumbling started.
Until he didn’t receive any letters from you anymore.
It broke his heart, waking up from his coma with all that was on his mind being your stunning smile.
“Did I receive any letters from her?”
“You mean (y/n)? No, not until it all started. She lived in the northern area of Marley so it’s very likely that…”
His heart shattered into a million pieces, dead eyes staring into the distance. Your beautiful smile, that promise you gave him the night before he left. The thought of you getting trampled to death…
“Don’t say it.”
“Hey, maybe she did it somehow. (y/n) is a smart woman. I’m sure she found a way out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, shitty four-eyes. She’s dead.”
He has seen it all, countless people died in front of his very own eyes. Why would it be different this time? Why shouldn’t you of all people be taken away from him? A little spark of luck, a minor ray of sunshine in this sheer darkness.   
He leans back in his wheelchair, darkness consuming him all over again. You deserved so much better, your whole life was still ahead of you. In a world that never wanted you, you always kept your smile as bright as the sun. Despite the fact that they treated you like the dirt underneath their feet, despite how poorly the circumstances were, your smile beamed brighter than anything else.
“What would it give me to burry myself in sadness? I only have this one life, why not making the best of it?”
The best…
“Fuck!” he cries out, slamming a nearby book against the wall in frustration.
Why you? Why out of all the people, you are the one who had to lost her precious life? He never had the chance to tell you how he feels, how you turned his world upside down, that he survived for you.
Dear captain Levi (I love to call you that),
How are you? I hope your mission is going well and that you’ll return soon. I have some exciting news to share with you! After working so much over the last few weeks, I was finally able to buy myself a new dress! Although I wanted to get a white one because I know you love the colour, I bought a dark green one in honour of you. When you come back, we’ll be matching!
I miss you and our conversations late at night. Please tell me you and the others are okay.
In love,
(y/n)
That dark green dress he never got so see, the joy you fuelled inside of him despite being hundreds of miles away from him. God, how much he misses you. How much he fucking misses talking to you through the darkness of the night, to hear from the world through the unwavering veil of your optimism. What would he give to stretch out his hands after you for once, holding you tightly against his chest? It truly kills him from the inside, knowing he will never be able to hold your hand or kiss your lips tenderly, that you’ll never tell him old fairy tales anymore.
You were special. An angel in a world full of devils. Your word alone should have been enough to end every war in the blink of an eye. It definitely was enough to end the war inside himself.
“Captain Levi, will you assist me?”
“Stop calling me that, Onyankopon”, Levi mumbles, silently following the taller man into the heart of the city.
The war made the remaining 20% realize how precious being alive is only after their lives hanging on a thread. While the others carried on with their lives, Levi himself got stuck in this cursed city, the city he last saw you in. Returning to Paradis would mean giving up on you, giving up on the spell you put on him. And he simply can’t take it. Even though the whole town got destroyed by the merciless feet of titans, despite numerous people telling him than no one was able to escape, he always looked out for that dark green dress you described to him.
“Thank you”, a little girl giggles at him, eyes widen at the delicious sight of the lollipop in her hands.
All he can do is stare at the ground in front of her tiny feet with empty eyes. How nice it must be to have something to hold onto in times like these, after losing everything and everyone.
“Hey, can I get another one?”
“Don’t get greedy, young lady!”
That voice, that angelic voice almost reminds him of you. How long has it been since you last spoke to him? So long that the sound of your speech slowly fades in the back of his mind.
But that woman, that woman almost sounds like you. His gaze wanders up her dirty shoes, the hem of her green dress…
A green dress. Dark green, to be exact.
“Levi?”
His eyes widen, his heart stops beating.
No, this can’t be. Is it a dream?
“Levi Ackerman? Is that you?”
His gaze darts towards your face, time stands still. Your facial features, your joyful eyes. It’s you, it has to be you. Without any doubt.
“(y/n)”
He can’t catch his breath, his orbs lingering over your delicate figure, your dark green dress.
That dark green dress.
Before he can stop himself, his eyes get glossy. It is really you. You’re standing in front of him, uninjured, just like you did before.
“Levi!”, you cry out.
In the matter of seconds, you kneel in front of him, hungry arms holding onto his frame for dear life. Oh god, how much you prayed to see that man again, how much you longed to finally be able to hold him in your arms.
“I never gave up hope. I always believed in your abilities and that you’ll return to me someday”, you mutter against his chest, your salty tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt.
“I thought you were dead.”
His voice isn’t more than a fade away whisper, hand running through your soft hair. He always wondered how it would feel against his fingertips. And now you’re here. In his arms, alive.
You are alive.
“I’m fine. I did leave this town just in time because I wanted to see you again. It was a close call, I almost got crushed but…I made it. I couldn’t leave after telling you the fairy tale about the fox and the rabbit, right?”
Silent tears stream down his face like a waterfall while you cry rivers against his chest. His whole life Levi was haunted by loss and grief. As if he was cursed, everyone around him seemed to die in front of his very eyes. Just after letting himself fall, after trusting someone, after gifting them his feelings…They just lost their lives like flies.
But you’re safe and sound, you look just like you did in his memory.
“I love you, (y/n). I should have told you this way sooner and I did all of this just to return to you.”
Your heart sinks in your chest, body overflowing with feelings. Without thinking twice, you press your lips against his scarred ones, letting yourself sink into his lap while your hands hold onto his face for dear life. This man right in front of you, the man who never left your mind, the man who risked his life to save yours. He survived. He survived and came back to you just like you always dreamed of.
“I love you too”, you shriek, smiling at him so widely with tears overflowing in your eyes that you make his world whole again.
“But as you see, I’m not the man you met back then…”, he begins, looking down his disabled body.
You shake your head vehemently, gently taking his hands into yours.
“All I see is the man I love and waited for”, you reply.
You wipe away your tears and a trail of snot in the most unladylike and precious way Levi ever witnessed before standing up and straighten your skirt with trembling hands.
“So now, what do you think? How do you like my now old new dress?” you croak.
You twirl around, making his life complete. This. This is exactly what he fought for, why he never gave up even after Hange dedicated her life. You standing in front of him in that dark green dress, smiling widely after he told you that he loves you.
This is all he ever wanted.
“You look lovely. Absolutely lovely, (y/n)”, he replies.
And for the first time since forever, a genuine smile is formed on his face.  
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olichat-reads · 2 years
Text
Confession
Bakugou x shy!reader
Summary: going out of the way to confess to your crush for the sake of confessing didn't go the way you thought it would.
A/n: I write for myself quite a bit but this is the first proper oneshot I've actually completed & deem okay to post hehe. VERY SELF INDULGENT BUT WHO CARES. I love this gremlin a lot & I hope the characterization isn't too off (ノ´ヮ`)ノ*: ・゚
🌟
Y/n blinked at him blankly. Not being able to process what was happening.
"The hell you looking at me like that for? Was that confession of yours a fucking joke or somethin-?!" Bakugou growls out, voice raising as annoyance took over his features, clearly misinterpreting your stunned silence.
I mean, you had reason to be shocked. Not your fault.
"You've got some guts to play with me," Bakugou spits out in his growing anger, quirk sparking to life in his hand.
That snapped you out of it.
"Wait, wait! Eek!" You squeaked out, fists protectively shielding your head from the blonde boy's growing rage. Forcing your eyes open to meet his glare as you trembled in place.
"I-I meant it! I meant every word! I was just so shocked you didn't reject me!" You cry out fearfully, eyes wide as you watched Bakugou's face scrunch up in confusion at your admission.
"Hah?!???"
"Eek! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-"
"Shut up for a fucking second won't you," he cut you off with a growl making your mouth snap shut, wide, terrified eyes staring at him, quite clearly regretting all your life choices that led up to this moment. Bakugou let out an exasperated sigh at your reaction, rubbing a hand down his face.
After a moment of eyeing your trembling figure, Bakugou slowly began to make his way over to you, like a predator stalking its prey and it took everything in your willpower to stay rooted in place and not run away squeaking.
He stopped once he was right in front of you. You could feel yourself freezing up at how close you were together, finding interest in the ground beneath your shoes all of a sudden, not able to meet Bakugou's burning gaze.
"Oi. Look it at me."
The request made a whine of embarassment bubble up from your throat but you slowly lifted your head anyways, doing your best not to flinch away at meeting Bakugou's red eyes.
Pretty red eyes.
Bakugou wore an blank look on his face as he looked down at your much smaller form. He had his hands in his pockets as he watched you squirm for a heartbeat before speaking.
"Asking for my response and immediately assuming my answer was stupid, don't you think?"
"I-" you started but immediately shutting up when he narrowed his eyes at you, daring you to even try going on another nervous tangent.
"Did you want to get rejected, dumbass?"
Your eyes widened at his question. Where on earth was this going?
"Uh. Um- n-no. Of course not. I just-" you cut yourself off before you rambled again. Wringing your sweat soaked hands nervously.
"So. If given a chance, you'd want to date me?" He intergorates, eyebrow raised.
What is happening. What is happening. What is happening-
"..yes?" You manage to squeak out.
You almost faint at the smirk that overtakes Bakugou's handsome face. Slowly, he leaned into you, leaving mere inches between your faces. You could feel your face absolutely burning at his close proximity. He could probably hear your heart threatening to pound out of your chest.
Oh my god. Too much, too much!! Was he trying to kill you?!?
"You sure? No take backs," he drawls out teasingly.
You could only nod in repsonse, words failing you at this point.
"Words, bunny."
Your heart fluttered at the nickname, cheeks flushing hot.
"Yes, please," you managed to choke out, your voice barely a whisper.
His smirk grew wider. Out of nowhere, you felt a hand ruffle your head, making you jump in surprise. Your wide eyes never leaving Bakugou's as he slowly leaned back, getting out of your face, all while staring down at you smugly.
"What- what just happened?" You stuttered out. All this was too much for your poor head to process, much less with having your crush's undivided attention on you for so long was making you dizzy. You brain is mush at this point.
Bakugou rolled his eyes at your question.
"You got yourself a boyfriend, dumbass," he states matter-of-factly as if its the most obvious thing in the world. Hand leaving your head, he began to stroll back towards the school block. Looking back at your unmoving form still frozen in place, he paused to call out a "you coming?"
Blinking back at him dumbly, you barely found your voice to respond. "I, um. I don't think I can move right now. Y-you go ahead," you replied, genuinely feeling like you might collapse if you tried to move a muscle at this immediate moment.
"You need me to carry your ass back or something-"
"OH MY GOD STAY BACK OR I WILL FAINT. MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE THAN THIS. HAVE MERCY-" you blurt out in a panic, making the blonde bark out laughing at you outburst.
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goldtippedfeathers · 2 months
Text
‎♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Establishing a sleep schedule‎ ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ 
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hello my little feathers <3 
i thought that was a cute nickname lmao but bear with me. i’m going through a phase. regardless, someone has got to teach y’all how to sleep since we all know your sleep routine is so whack, the morning birds are your lullabies. i get it— you’re convinced your circadian rhythm is non-existent. i did too. then i visited an OT who gave me a wake up call. in reality, it is very uncommon to have a genuine disorder regarding your circadian rhythm. which means all your nocturnal habits? those are all you, bbgirl. you can choose to be embarrassed about it and accept your life as an owl, or you can finally get some beauty sleep and address those eye bags. 
here are the tips that helped me personally go from sleeping late at night/early in the morning and only getting 3 hours of sleep a night to now consistently getting 8 hours of sleep a night. 
𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 pick a wake up time 𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 
this is the most important part of this advice column. seriously. you could stop reading after this. 
setting a wake time doesn’t mean, “oh, ideally, i’d like to wake up at this time, but when my alarm goes off, i’ll snooze for a couple more minutes because ugh, baby steps amrite?”
no.
it means once that alarm goes off, you are UP. whether you have to drag yourself, roll yourself, or cry yourself out of bed, GET. OUT. OF. BED. 
you cannot compromise with this wake up time, even if the night before, you stayed up until 5 am. If you set your wake up time to 6 am, you better learn to function with 1 hour of sleep because these are the consequences of your actions. 
while it may seem counterintuitive to sabotage your sleep schedule by denying yourself those extra minutes or hours to catch up, sleep deprivation is the most common tactic used to reset and stabilize a person’s disorder sleeping patterns. the entire rationale behind this is to push your body to a point of desperation (lol it sounded so much less cruel when my OT said it) so it’ll want to sleep earlier. you’re trying to tire yourself out so the moment you’re allowed to sleep (we’ll get to that in a second), paired with the rest of the tips in this list, you’re knocking out immediately. 
so find a time that you ideally want to naturally wake up at. for me, it’s 7:30 am since i work a 9-5, but you could go earlier or later than this. whatever works for you. just be prepared to commit to it because you have to commit to it. 
𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 making your environment a ‘sleep-only’ zone 𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 
this is a shoutout to all the girlies who live out of their bed. stop that. 
yes, it is comfy. yes, it is nice to snuggle there and read a book, or scroll on your phone, or watch netflix, or do your homework, or whatever other jazz you’re getting up to. but there are two purposes for your bed: sleep and s3x. if you’re not doing either, you’re not allowed in there. 
i like to think of my room as different zones. my desk is my work-zone. the open space i have where my weights are is my stretching/workout zone. my closet is my dressing-zone. and i use other parts of the house as my eating-zones, my reading-zones, my hygiene-zones, etc. 
my bed is my sleeping zone. which means that place is sacred and only meant for sleeping. no outside clothes on the bed. no lounging on the bed. not even to flop down when i’m exhausted from a long day at work or workout. if i am that tired, i can stretch, or i can find a couch. or, i can undress myself from my outside clothes into my nightwear and sleep. but the bed is for sleeping. that’s it.
this tip actually helped me beyond sleep, because establishing these zones skyrocketed my productivity. it essentially helped my brain zero in on the task i intended to complete without distractions, because why else would i be at my desk if not to write or do work? my desk isn’t for eating. my bed especially isn’t. so food isn’t in my room, and therefore the only logical thing to do in that zone is what it is meant for. 
your mindset is equally as important as your environment. pairing these two together is what will help you at the end of the night, when you’re ready for bed, to hit the hay the moment your head touches that pillow. because your brain has already been preparing for sleep. it knew the moment you started getting ready for bed. 
𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 night routines 𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 
this is your time to be in your aesthetic, vanilla girl era. read a couple of pages of your book, drink an herbal (uncaffeinated) tea (except beware if you have a small bladder like me to not do this lmao), wash your face, comb your hair, get into your nighties, wrap your hair in whatever protective style you like, and then get under your covers for a night of restfulness. your routine is you time. no thoughts about tomorrow. no to-do lists. no last minute tasks. its your time to unwind. if you need a candle to do it, if washing your face isn’t enough and you need a shower— however your routine looks, cater it to whatever will help you feel relaxes and mellow by the end of it, so you are head empty by the time those covers are over your body. 
𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 helpful tools 𓆰𓆩♡𓆪𓆰 
here’s a list of things that may or may not help you with your sleeping journey!
weighted blanket: helps your nervous system enter into a state of rest (parasympathetic nervous system activation). known as pressure therapy, and typically used to help alleviate symptoms of anxiety (increased heart rate, muscle tension, racing thoughts, etc)
heated blanket: for people who get cold easily— as opposed to layering up in constrictive layers, this is a nice way to snuggle and feel warm
silk eye mask: helps block out light. similarly, you can also get a complete black-out eye mask
silk bonnet: especially for the curly hair girlies out there— you guys already know. its such a protective way to keep your hair out of your face at night and nourish it while you rest. 10/10 recommend 
blackout curtains: helps block out outdoor light 
sunrise lamp: for gloomy days, in order to support a healthy circadian rhythm, exposure to sunlight helps regulate the body’s fluctuation of melatonin, making it easier to wake up. essentially, dark = more melatonin (which is why winters feel sleepier because of the shorter days), and light = less melatonin production 
okay, that’s it! sleep well, little feathers <3 
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mossnymphh · 1 month
Note
Can you please do a scene where Jason discovers his precious S/O is pregnant when she experiences really bad morning sickness? 😭 😭
This ain't AK!Jason coz ik he always wraps his shit. He doesn't want kids 😭 (edit: it is an AK! Jason scene btw)
Like the only scenario I can picture Jason having a kid is when he'd be actively trying with s/o. I think they'd have an extensive talk about having children when things in the relationship get super serious.
But let's just say that they did agree to have a kid, and it would be later in life.
Reader is AFAB but no pronouns are mentioned.
✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽
"Sweetheart?"
Jason rushes to the bathroom where he heard you spilling your poor guts out. You're hunched over the toilet, trying to keep your hair from your face, as to not make your situation even more horrible by soaking your hair in bile. The complexion on your face is paler than usual and you look weak.
Jason rushed to your side without a second thought, holding your hair and gently stroking the back of your head.
"S'okay, I'm here now. Let it out."
His only instinct right now is to help and comfort you. The questions can come later.
After getting you all cleaned up and back in bed he cozies up next to you after turning the comforter back on. There's a bottle of water on the bedside table which he helped you take ample sips from to rehydrate you. His sweetheart is looking better than before, but not good.
"Is it something you ate? Or is your period coming up?"
You let out a soft groan and snuggle back onto him, tucking your head on his chest for all the comfort that you need now.
"No Jay... I'm late.."
Oh
OH
His heart rate skyrockets, so does yours from simply confessing to him what's going on.
"Do you mean you're.."
His mouth is dry. Sure, you'd talked about having a kid but it actually happening? Jason wasn't prepared to hear it. The thought of bringing a child into this world for him is...cruel...in a way. But it would be his union with yours that would bring one, your love combined. It's a big step for him, a huge step, but then again he won't be the one carrying the kid. That's you. He thinks about 100 bad things that could go wrong during the pregnancy and it outweighs the joy he should be feeling. What if he lost you??
"I- yes, I'm pregnant Jason. 5 weeks.."
You can't help the tears that spill from your eyes and dampen your pretty eyelashes. The look on his face worries you, he looks too serious, overwhelmed and underjoyed. The sick feeling from throwing up isn't helping with the cocktail of emotions that your hormones are bringing up.
"Oh sweetheart.."
He must have caught on that he's worrying you. The last thing Jason wants to do is make you worse right now. He is happy in his own right. He is happy that he's having this moment with you, that your love together was able to create life. So he smiles and tugs you even closer to him.
"My angel...were gonna have a baby?You and me?"
He's crying too as he kisses your forehead.Again and again and again peppering kissess all over his angels face. Those tender kisses wash your worries away.
"Yeah! We're gonna have a baby, Jason."
He's thinking back to his own childhood, about how his parents never pulled through for him. He's thinking about Bruce, and how he tried his best but still failed him. All catalogued in Jason's mind like ample lessons on how he should and 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 be better. For the child. For you. You're both not his parents.Despite the misgivings that life throws your way you're both going to be better.Going to be good parents.
Besides, he's already thinking about buying all sorts of cute baby clothes. Maybe he should paint that spare room in your apartment while he's at it. It would sure put a smile on your face.
✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽
I hope I did you right by this anon. I didn't see myself writing something pregnancy related because I'm actually terrified of pregnancy and childbirth(and I realized I don't wanna write anything about it again while writing this) 💀💀 and I don't actually see Jason making a kid, AK! Jason at least. Anyhow I tried my best and I hope you enjoyed it.
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dawnofh · 1 year
Text
141 dealing with a rookie who ‘accidentally’ committed insubordination against their Sergeant [Headcannon]
Price
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Just run for you life, leave the military, change your name and live in Antarctica.
This man has zero tolerance when it comes to insubordination. Will knock on your door softly and ask you to meet him in his office.
“I’d like to ask about today’s field mission. The one your Sergeant was in charge of.”
Starts off calm, too calm, creepily calm. All the while he has this smile on his face. This calm smile.
Asks you for a very detailed explanation and can stop you at any time to ask, “So what did you do?”
He’ll take a breather, inhaling sharply. Maybe lighting a cigar to calm down before he slams his hand on his desk.
The yelling will begin while Price fights the urge to smack the shit out of you.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Private. Did you or did you not go against direct orders?” “Sir, please-“ “I ASKED A QUESTION. I EXPECT AN ANSWER.”
Might have to fight back tears and an trembling lip if you’re a crier. You better not cry.
He’ll do that parent thing. “Can you tell what the orders were? Okay….So why did you go against them? … Well, what have we learnt today, Private? …Yes that’s very good and what will you do next time this happens?….Excellent.”
Might come off as condescending if he’s really pissed.
If it’s your first offence he’ll let you off with a light slap on the wrist by making you write lines ‘I will never disobey my superiors again’ type of energy and expect to write a 1000 worded apology note to your Sergeant.
If it’s your second offence, be prepared for physical labour. You’re on clean up duty for 5 months.
There is no third offence. Never.
Price’s anger only lasts 2 weeks, he forgives and forgets. Will treat you normally how he would any other day. Just never let it happen again.
“If this occurs once more then I will break your goddamn teeth so you won’t have a fucking cheek with your superiors anymore. Do I make myself clear, Muppet?” “Crystal clear, Sir.”
Ghost
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*Stare intensifies*
Will lean on the wall during practice, watch you until you notice him, points to you and then uses his thumb to point at the door, “Outside. Now.”
You probably got snitched on by your superior, they could’ve snitched to anyone but thanks to your dumb luck they snitched on you to Ghost. Fucking tattletale.
Asked for your explanation first, he usually takes the sides of the rookies first. He knows that higher ups can take advantage of the newbies and lower rankings.
You really try to leave out details, “And then the car exploded.” “How did it explode?” “I’m not sure, Sir, but it exploded somehow. It could’ve been the Russians…?” “Private, your mission was in Japan. There were no Russians.”
You may or may not have said a couple of other things to your Sergeant before and after the mission…and yesterday…and a second ago before you were training.
You try to play innocent and pretend this is your first offence because truth be told you where petrified of Ghost and the skull mask didn’t make things better for you.
Depending on Ghost’s mood he might just be understanding and say he use to behave the same when he was a rookie, “Wait, you also punched your Sergeant in the face?” “You punched your Sergeant in the face?”
Will reprimand you, not as bad as Price will but enough to make sure this never happens again.
If he yelled at you, you may or may not cry. Don’t cry in front of Ghost either. He doesn’t like crying children, especially crying rookies. Might actually give you something to cry about.
He’ll make sure your Sergeant keeps tabs on your behaviour and if you so much as act up in the slightest, you’re getting snitched on again.
Ghost puts you in your place by doing that parent finger pointing thing every time he catches you lacking.
“You’re on thin ice with me.”
Soap
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“Did you really say that to him?“ “Yes, Sir.” “It’s okay I would’ve done it too.”
100% supportive, he’s number 1 when it comes to insubordination.
Is playful with his scolding, practically puts on a show to make whoever you insulted feel better, “I’ll make you wash the windows of the jet with a spatula. Now behave, okay? Go touch some grass.”
Like Ghost, he takes the sides of the rookies and lower ranks first. He’s had his fair share of abuse of power when he was young.
Commits insubordination against Ghost religiously.
If your insubordination got others hurt he’ll be tough on you. But other than that he honestly doesn’t care.
He sees a lot of himself in you.
If he does yell at you you’d stare at him blankly, “Speak English, Soap.”
If it’s insubordination to him he’ll be salty about it. Asks Ghost to deal with you.
Soap wouldn’t mind getting back at your Sergeant if the offence was justified, both of you would scheme about it. In the end you both simply douse the Sergeant in syrup and leaves.
“We make a pretty good team. Let’s do this more often.”
Gaz
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Let’s it slide. He’s committed a shit load of insubordination offences against Price and somehow gets away with it.
Probably gets into trouble because he didn’t correct your behaviour.
“Alright, Solider. There’s a time and place for everything…now is not the time nor place.” He speaks to you like an older brother would.
Is actually calm when he speaks and remains calm until the very end unlike Price. Very good at deescalating situations and talking people down.
Has to now convince your Sergeant not to murder you in cold blood.
“I’m going to need you to explain what happened with you and your Sergeant last week.” “Wouldn’t you like to know, Weather boy.”
You might just make him throw hands.
Don’t worry though, he’ll make the next two weeks hell for you and if that doesn’t solve your attitude problem then expect to repeat the entire training process to become an SAS solider again.
Gaz will respectfully put you back into place.
“You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. I hope this will be a lesson to you, Rook.”
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thepepsislvt · 2 months
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What if we had another Barto fic because were so starved for his content esp in writing if the reader was like a strawhat that luffy picked up in like skypiea maybe..like a shandorian with the little wings 👀.. just a thought..
I WIN yes i will write more of Barto bc i love him and im glad so many other people love him too!
this one seemed rushed and i apologize i wrote this before my second shift of work :(
Bartolomeo x Winged! Gn Reader
warnings: all fluff, some cursing, mention of doflamingo
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you were born on Skypiea and thats all you’ve known
you were always so curious as a child but nobody would tell you what the rest of the world was like
So when you hit your teenage years you decide that one day you're going to leave the floating island
You had wings so you could easily fly away but you couldn't navigate the ocean by yourself
Most nights you would hope and pray that someday, someone would save you.
That's when a certain pirate with a straw hat came and fucked shit up on your island
At the age of 19, you knew this was your getaway, a savior you had spent all of these years praying for
After he won the battle he was fighting you came up to him and his crew as they were about to depart
“Strawhat! You must take me with you! I will prove myself worthy to join your crew-”
“Ok”
“-and I won't take no for an answer! Wait did you say okay? That fast?” you looked at the pirate captain with confusion and shock
All he did was smile and nod
So it was easier than you thought
It didn't take very long to get along with the rest of the crew members
You would give Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy rides through the air
Zoro taught you how to use a sword
Naomi taught you to pickpockets even though you probably won't use that skill
The Entire crew loved you
When Frankly and Brook joined the Straw hats you easily got along with them as well
When you got separated for two years on Sabaody you couldn't have been happier to see them
Your wings had fully grown and you could now use them to their full potential
You guys may have changed a lot physically over the past two years but nothing has changed between your friendship
During the events of Dressrosa, you decided to follow Luffy to the Colosseum to make sure he doesnt give away his identity and draw unwanted attention towards him
While you and Luffy were watching the fight, a certain green haired rooster head had caught your eye
he was hated by the crowd for being vulgar but thats what you liked about him
after his victory in Block B you knew you had to go and greet him
what you were not expecting was him to start crying and saying how much he wasn’t good enough to be in your presence
how can such a scary looking man with the title “Cannibal” fall to his knees over someone like you?
you were flattered by his kind (?) response and had to console him
he asked you to sign your wanted poster he kept
after the defeat of Doflamingo, you hung around Bartolomeo more, falling more and more for him and his wild personality
he had finally accepted that you were actually his friend and took his fanboying down a notch (he still has his moments though)
you had asked him out since you know damn well he wouldnt have the balls to ask you
when you did he just about died on the spot
but y’all had the best time on your date
Sanji and Nami had helped you dress nicely for the event
at the end of the night Barto and you were just star gazing as you told him all about each constellation
Barto knew he had to something he just didnt know how
“you see those six stars up there forming a ‘W’? they call that one the King of Pirates in honor of Gol Roger himself! isnt that cool?” you had explained while pointing to the sky
after you didnt get a response from him you looked over to see if he was alright only to be met with his face close to yours
“Barto? are you alright?” you whispered to him
He just stared into your eyes before kissing your cheek, leaving you flustered and your wings spread out in suprise
“was that okay? should i not have done it?” Bartolomeo started to panic and think of every possible negative outcome before you kissed his lips gently
“more than alright”
he Smiled and started giggling all giddy
“I GOT KISSED BY MY FAVORITE STRAWHAT!!” he yelled out into the sky
you only laughed and kissed him again
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lavandaea · 4 months
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*inhales deeply*
There's spoilers ahead so, yeah, be careful.
This weekend episodes have actually broken my soul.
He didn't even need his feelings to be reciprocate, HE JUST WANTED TO BE WITH HER.
Dear writers, some things to ask, why so much screen time to second male lead? Why create such chemistry? Such backstory? (Spoiler alert: that will make us sympathize with the supposed villain) To just fuck*ing rip his heart out and pulverize it like Grandma with the cow bones, yes, just like that.
Let me get this straight, after having been raised in an environment of violence, pain and God knows what else for God knows how long, he falls in love. He experiences ✨feelings✨ ,he puts all his trust in her like never before, he shares his past and then he gets betrayed.
I swear I never seen someone cry so with so much meaning, feeling, with so much back there.
We made progress for the last (at least) five episodes TO JUST END IT IN A SINGLE ONE.
This could have been handled a lot better in a lot of ways and about a lot of topics that I could actually write an essay.
Let's begin the the main leads.
So, in order to have some sort of feeling about ML and FL loving eachother you need to put screen time ON them. Yeah, they support eachother, they have known far before Si Oh, they are funny and a lot of things more. They even kissed and very passionately, wow. Just one thing, Why didn't I even blink during that scene but found myself hitting the pillow and blushing when Si Oh did such mundane things as taking her home, opening doors for her, fixing her purse, hair, looking at her with those "I love you" eyes,👏feeling👏guilty👏about👏making👏her👏uncomfortable👏 with👏his👏feelings👏for👏her HELLO??, WAVING HER BACK WHILE HE WATCHED HER GO, SMILE EVERY DAMN TIME HE SAW HER?
I´ll tell you why. Because I know, thanks to you, that Si Oh was experiencing for the very first time what it's like to have human interaction that doesn't involve violence or having to be wary of everything and everyone all the time. He wanted to connect, to share his whole self, to be happy, to make her happy, to love and be loved. Moreover, I can't help just to feel happy for him, sad, angry, fucking rageous (not more than him, obviously).
Meanwhile, I barely know Hee Sik aka the male lead.
I remember seeing his mother once and I think that's what I understood about his private life. Sorry, I forgot about his deceased brother, that could have been a good topic to develop if it wasn't just mentioned once somewhere in the sixth chapter and left there to rot. Other than that, I know he is a cop, loves his cops friends and loves Nam Soon, also he is really loyal and good person.
Nice👍, very nice. But what else?? Or does the man just exist for his job and girlfriend? Even Shi Oh had some time to box being a drug dealer and full time whipped for her.
I'm just saying that you want me to suddenly dislike someone you took a considerable amount of time explaining but I have to like this good guy because you just pointed at him 👉🧍, and said, "here's the good guy, love him".
Sorry, I cant do that.
If you haven't noticed, you just made a character I fell obliged to sympathize.
If you wanted to make him evil and hot you should have just made him evil and hot.
It worked just as well with Jang Han Seok from Vincenzo.
Not have him have "REDEMPTION" written all over his face just to go with "Actually, no. He has no chance. 😃". It's, for lack of a better term, frustrating. (Absurd)
Instead, maybe you should have dedicated that screen time for the construction of the main leads relationship.
Oh, yes. Another thing since we are talking about the matter.
ML and FL relationship progress got weaker and weaker since she had started to spy on Si Oh. And then one episode was like "Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you, they are actually dating by now" Bom, a kiss. If I need a kiss to know they are in love, there's something going on back there. Something lacking.
Scenes of them in love: well acted, nice, cute, cool, okay. But it is like picking a random romance book and start reading it ten chapters ahead, they are in love, but how this did happen??? Last time I saw them, they were in a friends-and-some-more zone.
Where's the progress?
I know where is it. In the fake relationship, that it was being used just to turn Si Oh into a complete monster with probably not chance of going back.
"You have suffered a lot, yeah, I see. Anyway here's more pain. Suffer more and go cause some trouble because if not, there's, apparently, no plot"
Nice job.
I have been saying this and I will say it again, kdrama writers/directors are not ready for traumatized villains. They are afraid of them.
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AITA for telling the teacher I made a group project all by myself which made my classmates get a worse grade?
Background: im 16F and in eleventh grade, im in a new school which is only for eleventh and twelfth grade. So my whole class was all people who didn’t know each other. This happened in the first few weeks of school. Also english isnt my first language and I’m a very shy person.
We got the task from our English teacher in our first English lesson to make a presentation and poster. She choose our groups and we just sat together for like two minutes and then the lesson was over and I completely forgot who I was in a group with because I didn’t yet know anyone’s names. We had to do the presentation three weeks later so I figured in that time someone else would reach out to the group so I don’t really need to know who was in my group.
No one else reached out for a week and the teacher was sick for the next week so I couldn’t ask her who was in my group. So we now only have less than two weeks left to do the project.
I send a message in the class group chat asking who’s in my group. No one answers. A few hours later i send a message again and no one answers again.
So I decide, ok, im just gonna start this by myself and the others can help later I guess. So I get a big piece of paper, do some research, print pictures etc… I also message the group chat with pictures of what I’m doing.
We are now at the weekend before the presentation is supposed to be on Thursday and I still don’t know who’s in my group. A different classmate sends a message in the group chat to ask who’s in her group, and someone replies to her with some names, including MY name.
So I finally know my group and I make a group chat with just us and ask them about ideas and if they could maybe write some texts for the poster and what part of the presentation they want to do. No one answers. I keep doing the poster alone and send pictures. I don’t get more back than „looks good“ and „👍“.
Now we’re at the day before the presentation. I have a finished poster and I’m writing the last part of the text while sitting at the kitchen table. My sister is sitting there too and doing homework. I’m complaining about how I did the whole thing by myself and the others completely ignored my messages. She says I should just say to the teacher that I did it all alone. I don’t really want to do that, but frustrated as I am I write on the back of the poster „100% (my name)‘s work“, kinda as a joke, and actually planning to erase it later, but I forget to erase it.
It’s Thursday, we do our presentation as the last group before the break. The others read the texts I wrote. We don’t get our grades told yet but it’s not a bad presentation.
After the lesson we change rooms and I stay behind for some reason I don’t remember, when the teacher wants to talk to me because she saw that writing on the back of the poster and she asks if I really did the poster by myself. I say yes because it’s true and it literally is written there so how am I supposed to lie. She also notices that the texts everyone read (she collected those too) are all in my hand writing. So it’s clear to her I did the whole thing alone.
A week later we get told what grades we got. I have a 1 (best grade) while the other group members have a 4 (barely passing). They ask why and the teacher says they would have gotten a 6 (worst grade) but they at least did the oral presentation. She explains that I told her I prepared the presentation all alone, and then not just my group but the whole class erupted and called me an asshole and worse things until I actually started to cry and no one talked to me for weeks. The other people in my group said to the teacher and the class that I told them I wanted to do the project alone, which I didn’t, but maybe it seemed like that because I had already started it when I found out who was in my group?
My family said everyone else was an AH for making me do all the work and stuff. But I’m not sure because of that giant negative reaction that not just the people involved, but also the rest of the class had. I‘m quite a solitary person and didn’t have friends in the school I went to before this one, and because of that I’ve always made group projects alone and don’t know the etiquette around them. I also do feel bad that they got a bad grade because of me, especially if they really thought I didn’t want help.
TDLR: I did a group project alone because my group ignored me. We did the presentation together, and I told the teacher that I made the poster and the content of the presentation alone. The teacher then gave the rest of my group a bad grade. My entire class insulted me until I cried when they found out. I don’t have good social skills so im not sure if I was right or wrong.
What are these acronyms?
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reallyrallyauthor · 1 month
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Anselm Vogelweide- shooting w/ the safety off
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Dad!Santiago has brought up dad!Anselm in my asks. And while I picture Anselm (like me) as childless by choice, if he had a partner who wanted kids, I think it would be an easy decision for him to embrace the idea. 
I’m not going to be writing whole dad!Anselm requests (someone else can tackle that if they wish), but here’s a little bit about how I think it would go:
Anselm has been around enough to know: don't take chances 
Guns and sex are often wielded by idiots, with destructive results
So, when you tell him there was a hiccup in your birth control, well, sicher ist sicher, he's happy to come in and on your body, whichever places won't make a baby.
But it's too late
He's never felt anything like when you tell him you're pregnant. Fear & joy. A man of authority who is experiencing real uncertainty, maybe for the first time.
But he's overjoyed when you tell him you're excited to have a baby with him.
"I always thought of myself as more of an eccentric uncle, but I must admit that a baby..." he wipes a finger under the lens of his glasses.
He always liked to lay with his head resting on your stomach anyway. Now, it's his number one activity.
He talks to the baby a lot. Explains things to your midsection, even though you tell him the baby can't hear him yet. It's only the size of one of those huge, knobby lemons from the Amalfi coast.
One night, a little further along in your pregnancy, you see Anselm standing in his office holding the 4d ultrasound photo.
He gestures you inside and sets the photo on the piano, next to the sheet music.
He asks you to sit on the piano bench with him.
Anselm does something you never expected, something he said he wasn't very good at.
But it turns out, Anselm actually can play the piano.
It's beautiful.
"Mozart," Anselm smiles at you as he plays. "Classical music is good for the baby."
You have to look down at his hands, not only because they're beautiful, gliding over the keys, but because you're crying and you don't want him to see your face and stop playing.
As the piece comes to a close, you have to take the handkerchief out of his suit pocket to blow your nose.
He stretches out his hands. "A little stiff from the scarring, but what did you think?" 
He leans down to your stomach and listens.
"Yes, you're quite right," he says to the baby, "Not going to win any awards, but it did have feeling. Thank you."
You pull him up for a kiss. "I think it was perfect."
"Thank you, my dear. For that compliment and for everything else you do for me. You know, you and this child are my entire world."
"I know, Anselm." You smile at him. "But you're still not having a gun safe installed in the nursery."
"We don't have to put guns in it. It could be for the baby's valuables."
You get up from the bench, lovingly bickering with Anselm on your way to bed.
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**Anselm Vogelweide masterlist**
**main masterlist**
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vivithefolle · 8 days
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You seem to be really against Hermione for the bird incident, but don’t seem to care much about Harry sending Hedwig to claw at Ron and Hermione during the summer preceding fifth year, why is that?(/gen) You also seem to ship Ronarry. Is it just because she’s the canon love interest that you’re so upset? I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione. How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?(I agree with your opinions on Hermione in general, I’m just curious.)
If you don't know, I've made some jokes about how Harmony shippers are right about Harry and Hermione having something in common, which is that they both sent birds to attack Ron.
Harry doesn't interest me nearly as much as Hermione because to be frank he's pretty much just... the most boring character in the series to me. I like him for his Ron-loving potential which is pretty off the charts when Rowling isn't actively using Ron as a stepping stone for Harry and Hermione to look better.
I'm actually a pretty big Romione shipper even if I myself get confused about what I'm mad about sometimes. Honestly, it's just that I've kinda had it with people constantly writing Ron fucking up and having to make it up to Hermione, I want her to be fucking up and making it up to him and it not being considered a Crime Against Women Everywhere because yeah, women fuck up and hurt men too, men also get abused or shat on by women, it happens. Hermione as she is has a pretty toxic mentality, what with her often using violence completely casually (her first "big heroic moment" in the series is to set a man on fire) coupled with that shitty tendency of Rowling to use "Hermione on the verge of tears" as a kind of sedative to make the average reader go "who cares what Hermione did before, she's crying NOW and that's UNFORGIVABLE, PROTECT HER".
But, Harry himself also has a system like that, by virtue of being Our Poor Orphan Protagonist. Honestly, I hate to say it but Potterheads read another book because yes, Harry is nothing new, when an author wants you to root for their protagonist they give them a backstory that makes you want good things for them, yes Harry's suffering is just all destined to make you attached to him and meant to make you think everything that ever happens to HIM personally is automatically The Most Horrible Thing Ever To Happen To Anyone Ever and I'm kinda done with that as a whole because of fandom experience. I can only tell people to pay attention to what Ron goes through only to be rebuked by a "but look how hard Harry had it, in comparison Ron is a baby" so many times before I get completely soured and decide that the character they feel so sad for doesn't need any more people to feel sorry for.
... I don't know if I'm being clear. But yeah I function mostly through pure spite nowadays.
I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione.
He did say a token sorry to Ron specifically:
He showed Harry the index finger of his right hand, which sported a half-healed but clearly deep cut. ‘Oh, yeah,’ Harry said. ‘Sorry about that, but I wanted answers, you know –’
(I say "token" because yeah it's not really an apology given how it's immediately followed by a justification.)
Hermione however?
‘He seemed to think it was best,’ said Hermione rather breathlessly. ‘Dumbledore, I mean.’ ‘Right,’ said Harry. He noticed that her hands, too, bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry.
WOOP WOOP FEEL THE HARMONY YET
How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?
Honestly she can have apologized anytime, I'd just like it to be shown to me, and I'd like it to mean something.
While for example @divagonzo believes that after Malfoy Manor Hermione realizes her own mortality and blunts her sharper edges, I still remember the scene where Ron isn't sure they can trust Griphook and Hermione immediately insult him for being racist. Yeah, if that's blunting her sharp edges then I sure hope she's got other ways to do it otherwise she's gonna need a lot more Malfoy Manors.
As it stands, Harry and Hermione are really underdeveloped and bare-bones. If Harry has a character arc then I've missed it entirely because while he does realize that Snape has reasons and shit he's still kinda hating on him all through OOTP, HBP and DH until the Epilogue pulls the rug from beneath our feet. Hermione has moments indicating there's some things happening - her arc with Luna in OOTP is neat, in DH she finally learned to thank Ron for complimenting her - but aside from that she never is confronted to actual failure, to actual dilemnas, to actual problems without a true "I'm right you're wrong" solution - we only see her "being right" without anything exploring what she COULD be beyond "being right".
Which leaves Ron to shoulder the burden of having to do character development for two static characters that amount to "male role model" and "female role model". Ron IS confronted with failure, with actual dilemnas to which there's no easy answer or solution, Ron IS confronted with his personal character flaws... in pretty much every book, he's kept in a loop of "complete character arc" -> "oh no JKR needs drama to happen and she can't have Role Model 1 & 2 do it because they're supposed to be Above Mere Mortals" -> "backtrack on Ron's character arc so he can cause the drama so she doesn't have to strain her brain too hard", which is pretty obviously a disservice to Ron's character. And sadly, the fandom picks up on it but takes the wrong message from it: instead of realizing "wait, Rowling is violating the rules of good storytelling by constantly backtracking on her one good and complex character's development all so she doesn't have to risk Harry and Hermione's popularity by using their character flaws to create conflict", the fandom instead goes "ugh Ron is always causing messes while Harry and Hermione always have their hearts in the right place and always want what's best and anyway if they ever did something bad it's because they were forced by the situation".
It's... upsetting.
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itsagrimm · 1 year
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He Who Comes from Under the Water
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Chapter 7 - The Knife
Monster!König X she/her afab Reader
CN  Pressure of having children, emotional midlife crisis of a dead woman (it sounds funny, but I made myself cry writing that part), grieving dead family members. Discussions of female* relationship issues in hetero relationships, implied talk of rape, implied forced pregnancy, talk of sexual assault and rape in relationships, talk of forced marriage, mentions of drowning and past trauma, pregnancy as body horror. Implications of potential abortions using herbs (don’t try this at home).
eventual smut.
Notes for better understanding at the bottom!
Beta-read by @queenquazar. thanks having me despite my extreme questioning if this is actually good. I wrote half of this while having a slight fever and it shows.
5k words
Masterlist
You remembered your mother as a beautiful woman. The edge of life and age had polished her, making her shine brighter year by year, until the day she died. With her back to you, she stood in the kitchen, working on something as you entered the room as you had so many times before.
“Is it you, daughter?”
You missed her voice. She sounded so real, the memories coming back as those words rang bright and happy, while she turned to greet you.
“Dear, we haven’t seen each other for too long.”
Her face was like you remembered it. Maybe.
“Let me look at you. Are you eating well? Sleeping well? You need to take breaks in the sun. Soon, it will be too cold to stay out again.”
You nodded to the beautiful, kind, stranger called mother.
“Sit down, daughter. Tell me, have you found a husband? Is he treating you well? A good young man from the village or maybe from a bit further away?”
You let yourself get pushed onto one of the familiar chairs, the wood of the rest pushing into your back, and a cup of tea being placed before you.
“I’m about to be married. I… he… he is good to me.”
“And what does he do?” A friendly but practical look danced over ‘Mothers’ face.
Nervously, you fumbled with the tablecloth before placing your hands flat on the table, “Uhm- he is really good at fishing, and currently he is building a new home.”
'Mother' nodded.
“A fisherman and carpenter. Hm. Hm. It’s good to have a capable man in the family. He better give you beautiful children or I’ll haunt him.”
“Uhm- I’m not sure that will happen.”
“Of course, it will. You will love it,” The stranger chuckled. “Or more like you will be loved. For a while at least.”
“And then what?”
The stranger shrugged her shoulders.
“Then you turn older. And wiser, so you will know what you want. And stronger, so you will ask for it. And then you know how to move or dress to feel beautiful. And he will hate it. You will be loved no more, except by your children and the other women. So have children. And friends.” ‘Mother’ nodded. “That’s how it goes, daughter. You say he is a good man?”
“Yes?” A strange feeling weighed you down deep in your stomach. A feeling of doubt, despite your decision to stay with König. “Are you saying he isn’t?”
“How should I know? I am dead. Just do what I did. It wasn’t too bad. Right? I had you. And I loved you until I died.”
You looked across the table. ‘Mother’ smiled softly, looking down at her hands like a shy girl admitting a secret. She was a stranger. She had lived with you in this house, every day you could recall. And yet you had hardly known her. Was that what she had wanted? Staying in the house and watching her children grow, only to have them leave one day when they did not need her anymore? Or had she stayed because she could not imagine anything else? Because she did not dare to leave?
You could not help but reach over the table, taking your mothers’ hands.
There was not a thing in the world you would back down from to protect the woman that had given you a life. And your heart ached with the realisation that it was too late for her.
But maybe not for you.
“Right, mother. I love you too.”
You opened your eyes, staring at the familiar ceiling. Getting up was out of the question. Instead you laid there, tears filling up your eyes before slowly running down to the side of your face.
The dream felt too real to simply brush it aside. Instead, you wanted nothing more than to have your mother back, hold her, talk to her, and give her all the things she had ever wanted from life. It was unfair how she had given you so much and all you could give her was … what exactly? Your mother was dead. It mattered little what she had expected of you, wished for you… or herself. You could do how you pleased; the villagers had shunned you anyways. That freedom however, felt hollow without the woman who had sacrificed so much for you.
And was it wise to use that freedom for König?
Doubt crept up in you, the possibility of death and sadness, present once more.
Was there a life without marriage?
Where you could leave, live, and maybe love, how you wanted, without fear or fighting to survive?
A knock woke you from your melancholy thoughts.
“Who is it?” You called as you sat up and wiped away your tears while turning to the door.
“Wrong direction, darling. Check the window!” A stranger’s voice called out.
Confused, your head whipped around. A woman was before your window, staring directly at you.
How is that possible? You could not help yourself but wonder at the sight of someone peeking through your upstairs window.
The woman waved at you.
“Hi, People call me Baba Yaga but I prefer Farah. That no-good-wet-little-king-and-fiancé-of-yours asked me to come here to help.”
You rushed to get dressed while König, always on guard these days, waited for you downstairs. As you finished braiding your hair, you stumbled downwards. You knew of Baba Yaga. She was no one to anger or to leave waiting. There were guards and gods out there in the world, elders to be respected and traditions to be followed. And then there was her, putting all of them to shame.
She was the maiden, the mother, the old one to turn to when cursing a former lover or in need of help when slaying a monster. Baba Yaga was the knife - ready to make a pleasant meal or spill blood.
You did not know what to make of Königs decision to call Baba Yaga for help. Was it wise? Or was the price for her help higher than you could afford?
“I’m ready,” You called out as you entered the kitchen. “Oh, wait!” You grabbed a bowl of collected berries, “Can’t go into a house without a present,” You explained.
That would be rude. No one gets away with being rude to Baba Yaga.
König nodded before getting up from his seat, a chair this time.
For a brief moment you saw his eyes wander to his axe leaning at the wall, before he moved on.
He is nervous too.
“It’s gonna be fine.” You tried to reassure him. Or yourself.
König managed a smile before reaching for your hand and holding it, his large clawed hands clasping carefully around yours. 
“I know, Bride. We can do this.”
Together, you stepped out of your home only to see a wooden house on chicken legs in your garden trampling over your sorry attempts of growing buckwheat.
“Great,” You could not help but comment dryly. “How do we move it?”
“Allow me,” König declared before loudly calling out to the house. “Избушка, избушка, повернись ко мне передом, к лесу — задом!”
The house stilled in its light swaying, like a cat that got reprimanded for what it planned on doing.
“Пожалуйста!” König added pleadingly and the house trotted around and tilted forward, appearing oddly unwilling about it.
“Thank you for moving from the field,” you mumbled.
König stepped up to the Chicken-legged-house and knocked on the door while you lingered beside him.
“Honourable Elder, please let us in and hear our words.”
“You made it,” Was all the answer you got before the door flung open. “Finally. I hate waiting.”
In the doorway before you stood Baba Yaga, the woman who had waved at you in the window. Now you knew she had done it from her unusually high and walking house.
“Honourable Elder sounds lovely, but Farah is enough,” She noted and stepped aside. “Come on in. I made tea.”
Carefully you followed König’s soft tug as he helped you up to the high door, lifting you like you weighed as little as the logs he brought you.
Inside, it was just like any other house you had seen. There was a large oven, a table, jars with pickled contents and marmalade everywhere, and a beautiful tapestry with symmetrical flowers on the wall.
“Welcome to my home,” Farah declared and motioned to the table and a few chairs for you to sit.
“Thank you for having us,” You replied politely and passed her the bowl of berries. “I am sorry. It’s not much. But I hope our little gift pleases you.”
“It does. Sit, sister.” Farah gave you an approving nod.
 And so you did, taking a spot next to König, who had chosen one of the chairs which protested loudly, with troubling creaks as he sat down.
Waiting for Farah to finish setting the table, you studied her. She was beautiful and carried herself with confidence. Farah appeared maybe a bit older than you. But you felt like a child getting a visit from an aunt, not some years, but centuries between you two.
“Thank you for having us,” You said with a timid nod as Farah finally sat, intimidated by the powerful stranger. It had been so long since someone new was barely passing the threshold of being just nice to you.
König looked stoically like nothing was out of the ordinary, the little cup of tea looking ridiculously tiny in his massive hands. Being in the presence of powerful beings was nothing unusual for him, you reminded yourself, no matter what - he was one of them.
Farah tugged at her scarf as she sipped from her tea while eyeing the berries before finally releasing you from the awkward silence your words had left in the air.
“You are welcome. It’s a pleasure meeting you.” She  reached for a spoon to casually stir her tea, while avoiding your careful yet curious gaze. “So, you are König’s fiancé? The rumoured Bride of the Vodyanoy?”
“Yes,” You answered plainly.
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
She looked up from her cup, her dark eyes finding yours and pinning you to your seat with unforgiving kindness before switching over to König, like a blade slashing around.
“Lovely. What business do I have with that?”
“Oh, none at all,” König interjected smoothly like an eel slipping over wet stones. “We want no trouble with you. Just your blessings.”
Farah leaned back and put down her cup, her eyes piercing through the air like you and König were made out of nothing but thin skin and brittle bone, ready to be dissected and studied. Under her gaze, that likely was true.
“Don’t waste daylight, slime king. I could have spent my time other than coming here.”
“My utmost apologies, honourable Farah,” König continued with a most charming smile. “There is just the issue of my bride's possible death by drowning when she becomes my wife and queen. Do you, by any chance, maybe, possibly-”
“Cut it, König. You want me to waterproof your bride like she is some kind of unsinkable boat. Got it.”
He stilled in his movements before replying, “Yes. Can you do that?”
The honourable Farah sighed as if she had heard that request several times this morning already.
“Is that all? What else do you want me to do, hm? Make the fish sing and dance at your wedding? Build that new palace of yours in one night? Make her a wedding dress while I’m at it?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed,” König snapped back, his charming smile now more frozen than friendly in his face.
“Listen, König. I never took you as wanting to marry. You always looked so content with splashing around the ponds on your own. You did not even care much for the company of your own kin. Why not marry a rusalka? At least they can not drown.”
Uncomfortably, you looked at the cup in your hands, trying to be as invisible from the conversation as possible while gathering as much as you could. The idea of König being with someone else, a beautiful watery creature like himself, shifted something inside you and you did not know where to put it.
“No. I want to marry her. She is my Bride. I promised it.”
His words pearled down like warm summer rain.
He was so sure of it.
“To whom did you promise that?” Farah inquired further.
“Her grandfather. He used to fish at my pond.”
For a brief moment it was silent as you stared into the dark liquid in your cup as if it held the secrets of the universe.
Then Farah broke out laughing.
“That sounds more like you, König.” She gasped. “Acquiring a bride from a fisherman. Alright, that sounds precisely how the King of everything From Under the Water would get married.”
Amused, Farah looked back at you. “Are you happy with that, dear?”
You blinked, like a deer that got stuck between two rivalling wolves. Your eyes wandered to König who had the most trying neutral expression on his face somewhere under all that tangled hair.
“Uhm. I suppose,” You answered, dumbfoundedly. Since when did your happiness and not just your survival matter?
Farah raised one of her eyebrows.
“You suppose…” She repeated and grabbed her cup and spoon. “Get out.”
It was on you to raise your eyebrows.
“I’m sorry?” You questioned, a little fire in you giving you strength. You might have been just a tiny little human with brittle bones and thin skin, but you had tasted kindness again and you weren’t ready to give up on that yet.
“Not you.” Farah waved at you dismissively, “You, yes you heard me, König. Get out before I turn you into a frog. I need to talk to her alone.”
For a moment König stared angrily at Farah to be kicked out of the house like an unwelcome guest.
Then he turned his head and looked at you.
It was terrifying to be alone with Baba Yaga, may she call herself Farah and talk like a pleasant relative coming by for a visit, or not. The woman was powerful. But she had treated you kindly so far. And you needed her. Maybe this was for the better? Perhaps you could convince the powerful Baba Yaga to help you on your own, where König was failing. You could do this.
Smiling the most reassuring smile you could muster, you nodded. 
“I will be fine, König. Can you stay close please?”
König grumbled a ‘of course’ before getting up and exiting the house, leaving you and the Baba Yaga alone.
“They say it’s magic what I do, but most of my craft is giving stern looks and straight words,” Farah smiled deviously.
“Tell you what, sister,” She paused. “You don’t sound unsure about this marriage. König might be a king, but I never paid attention to titles anyway. They are all the same sorry puffed up men to me. If you want to get away from him, I can help you. It would be fun to have someone willing to learn the craft from me. You could be like a sister to me. I will not do that unkempt king's bidding, enable or convince you to marry, if you don’t want to.”
You looked away. An offering to stay by the Baba Yaga herself.
She is a knife, you remembered, she cares but she cuts too. I do not want to be cut no more.
“That is kind of you, Farah. I am humbled by your offering. But even if it’s complicated, I want to stay.”
“Foolish girl,” She said with a tone that did not mean it. “How is it complicated, sister? Do you not love him then?”
You took a sip from the cup. The tea tasted like nothing in your mouth, but you hardly paid attention.
Would there be a point in lying? You knew the stories of the powerful and clever Baba Yaga. And you had met speaking animals and beings you only knew from tales. Farah would have her ways to find out if she truly wanted the truth. And she likely would not appreciate being lied to.
You swallowed and decided to play it safe.
“My family is dead. All of them. The village shunned me because they thought I was cursed, and one of them repeatedly berated and even attacked me,” You explained. “König is fine. I don’t know him very well, yet. But he looks out for me, he really does. And he does not expect me to do anything more … physically - He promised. And he never forced himself closer to me even if he certainly had the chance and strength to do so. He just needs a queen to show around. And I need a protector. It is … okay. I have made my peace with it… so I thought. But … I had a bad dream. And it confused me. And König told me I might be in danger from drowning because I am human, and he is not. I nearly drowned already. I fear the water since I know him. Can’t stand being deeper in it than to my ankles. That’s why he sent out for you to maybe help with that. So that I will not die in the water by being with him.”
Farah slowly blinked, inhaling and exhaling before leading back in her chair.
“That’s a lot,” Farah finally spoke. “And they say a maiden’s life is light.”
You huffed. “Do they?”
“Older men in taverns do - talk like they know of the world while sitting around.”
“If you say so. I have never been to a tavern. Never left the village.” You answered, feeling foolish now like you knew nothing of the world.
Farah only hummed, closing her eyes as if in deep thought.
“Tell you what, sister,” She opened her eyes. “I will give you knowledge to protect yourself from death by that wet boy of yours.”
Farah got up and started cutting and mixing dried herbs in a large mortar.
“Like most men out there, he probably never even considered that a suffering. Acting like his presence is a gift to the world. You say he does not touch you? Fine. Here, take this.”
You stretched out your hands over the table and she passed you a pouch of the herbal mixture.
“Have you paid attention to what and how much I put in it?”
“Yes.”
“Good. As long as you want, you shall be barren. There will be no child coming from your womb. Just drink a cup of tea made from this mixture every day. Even if that wet-rag-king breaks his promise or you two might change your mind, you shall choose your fate. Quite frankly, without some intervention and knowledge, his dick is more likely to cause you harm than any water ever could. Drowning is faster than carrying a child you don’t want. If your mother were still alive, I’m sure she would tell her beloved daughter all her secrets.”
You looked at the pouch in your hands.
A knife, you thought, a knife to care and cut. Is that a betrayal? To König? To my family? To Mother?
“I don’t know if my mother would have ever told me.”
Farah crossed her arms, grumbling disapprovingly.
“Who knows. But I did. Your choice now. You can always just not drink the tea, right?”
You thought about it. Your mother haunting your dreams and speaking as if having children was the only path to happiness out there. And then you thought of König, his careful act towards you, his hand holding yours, his chest pressing against you, and how observant he was of what you need. How he asked and listened to you. How he would be towards a child. And then you thought of his size and what kind of child from him could grow in your tiny body. If that even was possible. Instinctively your hand closed around the little pouch.
Maybe no one but me is truly looking out for me. Maybe that’s all I am doing? Since when is that a betrayal?
“Right. Thank you,” You mumbled.
“If he ever does break his promise, you are welcome to live with me, and I will boil that fishy king in one of his ponds,” Farah continued as she returned to her seat at the table, sipping from her tea and smiling with glee, “As a little sign of gratitude for my wisdom, entertain me and tell me all about that village of yours and what gossip came from it. I want to know about those who think they can recognize a curse where there is none.”
A knife to cut and care. But not me. Not today.
You leaned back and started telling the stories and lies about you.
And Baba Yaga listened.
You stepped out of Baba Yaga's door and the chicken legged house titled forward to help you walk down the steps to the ground. König was sitting there in the grass, waiting for you.
“Is everything alright, Bride?” He asked while he got up and helped you down.
“Yes.”
You nodded, the herbal pouch hidden between your fingers. It felt exciting to have it there, hold it in your fingers, scary to go against what you had been taught since you were a little girl, mischievous, guilty, fun, safe.
You did not know exactly how to feel about it yet, but you did not let go either. Farah might not have turned you into an unsinkable boat, but she did give you an anchor.
“Hey, walking puddle!” Farah called out behind you from her house. It straightened up again as you reached the grass, acting like a proud pet imitating its keeper.
“I gave your problem a bit of thought and I think you yourself can solve it, oh mighty king of smelly bogs.” She declared. “Sacrifice something you hold dear. Give it to your bride. Coming from a being so tied to the waters should do the job better than any curse or wisdom I could come up with.”
“And what exactly should that sacrifice be?” König grumbled.
“How should I know what you care about?” Farah hit back as her house started to turn away and back to the forest. “Give her your favourite frog? Share an algae salad? But be nice. I like her well enough to return and teach you a lesson if you are not, fish head.”
“That’s it!” König called over to Baba Yaga and her chicken legged house. “You are not invited to the wedding. What kind of help is that? And will you stop it with the names?!”
Farah laughed. “Now I definitely will show up. You will repay me for my wisdom then and give my home a good bath. So long!”
And with her house having finally turned away from you, it started walking off into the forest under Königs loud protests.
Finally, he gave up and sighed.
“Well, at least we have a clue now. Even if it is a riddle.” He turned to you. “Are you sure you are alright? She is a dangerous woman.”
“I am,” You grinned. “We talked about the villagers. I told her everything.”
Königs concerned look turned into a grin as well.
“You are a dangerous woman too, dear Bride.” He nodded approvingly while he giggled. “She hates people who lie and they tell a lot of lies about you.”
“They sure do.”
“I don’t even want to imagine what she will do to them.”
“I do.”
König laughed and took you by the hand. Quickly you hid the pouch in the other behind your back.
“Good thing I am not planning on getting on your bad side, Bride.”
A strange kind of relief washed over you, taking away a tension you did not know you had held. Baba Yaga had given you as many fears as she had given you assurances.
A knife. A knife. A knife.
“Are you afraid I will tell Farah if you did?” You teased, stepping closer into his reach and decided to leave all worry behind you for now.
“No.” He paused, his watery eyes wandering over your form and you suddenly felt very aware that no one, not even the Fox or Heron, was around. Just you and your fiancé. And day time left to explore what that could mean.
“Alright, maybe. A little bit. She is terrifying,” König admitted, breaking the spell that had captured you.
You smiled and stepped away from him. “She is. Next time, please tell me who you invite over so I can brace myself. I like her but she is a force to be reckoned with. Can’t wait for the wedding to see her again.”
“Can’t wait for the wedding too, my beloved Bride.”
You paused, considering telling König about the pouch in your fingers and what that could mean for you - both of you - on your wedding night.
He probably does not even want me like that. I am no powerful being, no rusalka, no Baba Yaga with eyes that pierce everything. Just me. You thought to yourself. Why even give me the pouch when it will never be used? I was foolish enough for a day. No more of it.
“When will we marry, König?” you asked instead.
“When the palace is finished,” He replied. “Come. There is much to be done today. While you tell me what you need, we can think of what Baba Yaga had meant by sacrifice.”
“Good idea. But for today, a sacrifice of fish for lunch will do it for me.”
König chuckled.
“Of course, dear.”
XXX
Cultural Context Notes
Maybe this is a very personal observation but the relationships and friendships among eastern European women* or the dynamic between mothers and daughters is much more important and closer than it is in central Europe or the US. Correct me if I am wrong.
Another more personal observation: I am very cut off from my Russian roots basically since the annexation of Crimea and lost on how queer joy and life can look like ‘back home’. This bleeds into the text, reading very hetero. Since queerphobia is rampant in Russia where my family is from, I’m lost on how to depict eastern european/slavic queerness in my stories. I did not want to replace those gaps by just making a central european take on queerness so this is how it is. But I am a queer writer. And the lack of queerness in my story steeped in eastern european/slavic culture in itself feels like an accidental metaphor and I wish I could change that.
Many are somewhat familiar with Baba Yaga as a powerful evil witch since that is her most present depiction in international media post-Christianisation. But that simplifies her complex character. Some stories hint at her being a goddess of the earth or a similarly powerful being. Other stories describe her as one of three immortal sisters: the maid, the mother, and the crone in which Baba Yaga tends to be the crone. That too makes her an immensely powerful sorceress who reigns over death, life, and rebirth. Depicting her as just an evil witch in the western-European tradition clashes with stories about her being wise and helpful even if she is dangerous and unpredictable. And unlike many classical images of witches from more western parts of Europe Baba Yaga originally had no pointy hat, no black cat, or a broom to ride on. Instead, Baba Yaga appears to have no unusual dress from her peers. Nor does she have a side-kick except for maybe the woodhouse on chicken legs she lives in. And depending on the story Baba Yaga rides an oven, a large mortar, or just walks incredibly fast, which stresses that she is not an old hag in all her depictions but can be of different age and agility depending on the story. Baba Yaga is also associated with bones and death. In some stories she is the mother of the царь кощей / кощей Бессмертный - (Translation from russian) “undead king”/ “The one of bones and who can not die”. I decided to place Farah in the story as Baba Yaga because (I can and) Farah comes off as a reasonable wild card in the CoD franchise which is parallel enough to some Baba Yaga interpretations. Since the character Farah and the creation of a fake middle eastern country just to have that Orientalist theme in the CoD MW plot reads incredibly insensitive and racist to me, I’m making Farah the most powerful being in my story just out of spite. Also, Eastern Europe and Russia is not just Christians but has a lot of other religious influences too, the biggest one being Islam. Farah my beloved and everyone who identifies with her, this is for you. <3
Baba Yaga’s house in many tales is a wooden house on chicken legs that can walk wherever it wishes. To enter the house one needs to call out for it and ask it to turn around. There are several versions on what to say and I’m sure there are other variants in other languages. I used this one because I grew up with it: “Избушка, избушка, повернись ко мне передом, к лесу — задом” - translation from Russian: “Hut, dear hut. Please turn around towards me and with your back to the forest.” The added “Пожалуйста” is also Russian and means “Please”. I wanted to write this phrase in Old Church Slavonic but could not find the right words for it in the dictionaries so I had to stick with what I could execute, sorry. If there is a motivated linguist out there to research this, I’m absolutely willing to edit it and learn more about Old Church Slavonic or other fitting phrases. The origin of this house tale might come from the practice of building stilted houses in swampy regions. To keep the houses from rotting they were built on stilts, which got charred to avoid mould and rot. In some tales Baba Yaga is bound to the house and can not leave. In others she is not. Obviously, I understand staying in such a cool house forever anyway.
Is it possible to use herbs as contraception and abortion remedies? Likely. And there is historical evidence that several remedies had been used in the past to do so with differing success. HOWEVER! Do not try to replicate this at home. This is a fictional story and not medical advice. I know abortion and access to contraceptives are under attack in several parts of the world. It’s important to fight that and guarantee everyone dignity and bodily autonomy. But playing around with herbs you just googled or heard from a friend, is not the solution and can kill you. This part of the story is vague for a reason. 
Buckwheat grows in colder climates and on poor soils. It’s a staple food in many eastern European and central Asian regions. 
Rusalka (singular), rusalki (Plural) don’t have a good translations. In some sense they are mermaids but for inland water, since there are a handful of stories that describe them as having fish tales. But I think the best translation to give a picture of the rusalki is that they are more akin to nymphs like those from Greek myths. Rusalkis are female. In some regions they are supposed to look like old women, in others they are tall and stern looking. I grew up with the Russian tales of Rusalkis being pretty girls or women, playing in or around the water. They can be benevolent, especially to kids and women by helping out with washing clothes, playing or just friendly chatting. But they also can be a threat, predominantly for men whom they trick, drown and eat. It’s fascinating how gendered that image of the rusalka is, as if it fits the same entity but from two binary gendered points of view with the “female” one seeing the rusalka as a free spirit who does as she pleases, and the patriarchal “male” being threatened by that. The stories I know of the rusalka associate her with maidenhood or at least younger women, which ties to the idea that rusalkis are young women who committed suicide by drowning due to being pregnant out wedlock, dying before / around her wedding night or while giving birth. Essentially there is a lot of sexuality coded in the figure of the rusalka. If anyone knows or writes a queer take on it, please tag me. I need a break from those harsh binaries. Also, in some stories Rusalkis serve the Vodyanoy. I don’t really buy that and interpret it as a possible later addition to the fairy tale canon to depict the rusalka as subservient to at least one male master to be honest. Rusalkis are as governable as a storm. 
XXX
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387 notes · View notes
manjirot · 2 years
Note
Please write about Sanzu making a rude comment about the readers size (more on the chubby size) and she doesn't want to say anything to Mikey because she doesn't want to upset him. But Mikey starts to notice she's eating less/redistricting what she eats, is more down on herself and suddenly starts to talk about loosing weight. Mikey talks to her about what's going on after he finds her crying in there bedroom infront of the mirror and ends up loosing it on all the bonten execs regarding the reader. They don't know until then that she's Miley's girlfriend.
I know not all chubby girls feel the need to be skinny but I've been feeling like garbage lately and need a Mikey pick-me-up ❤️
Love your work 🥰
omggg as a chubby girl myself this rlly hits home </3 probably two months ago, i went to the doctor bc i have autoimmune disease and his exact words as soon as he entered the room was “your problem is that your too fat.. think about losing weight alright.” so after that i basically started starving myself.. I would go a whole day w/o eating and if I did eat something it was small like crackers or something.. now I’m slowly trying to get back to eating correctly but I’m still having a hard time w it.. ppl don’t realize words actually hurt and hurt deep. anyways lemme start this story for you love and I hope it makes you feel better <3
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“Fat bitch.” Sanzu mumbled as he walked by behind you. Though it was loud enough for you to hear, “every time you see her she’s sticking food in her mouth.”
There you were, sitting at the bar in a beautiful red dress that Mikey bought you for this event. You sat at the bar, trying out desserts while Mikey was upstairs in a meeting. You loved cheesecake and Mikey made it clear for the waiter to serve you your favorite dessert without question.
You never considered yourself as a obese woman.. yeah, you had a tummy, a fat ass and huge thighs that drove your boyfriend, Mikey, insane. He loved every part of your body but every since he introduced you to his subordinates, you couldn’t help but feel disgusted with yourself especially when Sanzu looked at you like you were a disgusting slob.
He’d make some type of remark every chance he got and you pretended not to hear any of it but it did hurt, it hurted bad.
“Sanzu, please, that’s not nice.. she could’ve heard you.” Kakucho said following behind Sanzu.
“hmph, I don’t care if she heard me. Her eating habits are embarrassing and if I was Mikey I would put her ass on a slim fast.” Sanzu snapped.
You heard him say that and you placed the fork down on the counter and quickly got up, quickly walking out of the event.
“You damn idiot… see what you done?” Kakucho then ran after you.
“Y/N! Hey, Y/N!!” Kakucho called out until he finally caught up to you outside, “hey, are you alright? Don’t let him ruin your night alright?”
You turned around to face the scarred man and he saw tears falling, completely messing up your makeup. His stomach was in knots seeing you like this, you’re so kind and sweet to all of them and didn’t deserve any type of badmouthing. If he felt sick just seeing you cry he knew Mikey would feel ten times worse seeing his woman so upset.
You quickly wiped your face and gave Kakucho a smile, “I’m fine. I just needed to let that out.” You begin trying to get the attention of your driver.
“Are you leaving?” Kakucho asked.
You nodded, “I can’t let Mikey see me like this.. if he asks, just tell him I started having stomach cramps” just then the car drove up and parked beside you and Kakucho. You opened the back door and just before getting in you turned back at Kakucho, “Kaku?”
“Yes.” He answered.
“Please don’t tell Mikey what happened.. I don’t want him giving Haruchiyo a hard time because of me.” You said.
“But—” Kakucho words were cut off.
“Please, Kaku.” You said looking directly at him, “it’s fine, really. Please don’t let this get back to Mikey.”
Kakucho frowned and sighed, “alright. I won’t say anything.”
You smiled softly, “thanks Kaku, you’re the best.” and you finally got in the back seat and Kakucho closing the door for you.
Kakucho watched the car drive off and decided to go back into the event. As soon as he walked back in he see a panicked looking Mikey searching for you. He sighed… he knew he had to tell Mikey what you said but it was all lies. He wanted so bad to tell the real reason why you left so abruptly but he promised you he wouldn’t say anything.
The white haired man approached him quickly, “have you seen Y/N?” Mikey asked.
Kakucho swallowed, “she just left.”
Mikey frowned to his answer, “left? Why?? Did something happen?”
“No, she said she was having cramps and left because she didn’t wanna ruin the night for you.” Kakucho said.
Mikey looked up at Kakucho and looked away mumbling, “is that why she really left?”
“Yes..”
Mikey hummed, “alright.. I’m going out to call her.”
Kakucho nodded and let his boss pass him on the way outside. Kakucho then went to go find Sanzu who had two girls on each side of his lap in the V.I.P section. Kakucho glared down at Sanzu which scared the ladies
“May I help you?” Sanzu asked sarcastically.
“You’re really a piece of shit, you know that?” Kakucho said.
Sanzu chuckled, “wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t.”
“Y/N saved your ass from Mikey’s wrath tonight.. you should be grateful to her on the countless times she’s done that!” Kakucho snapped.
“BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Did you come over here just to tell me that? If so, you can take your uptight ass somewhere else!” Sanzu yelled. He was high and there’s no talking to him when he’s that way.
Kakucho grumbled and turned around to walk away, “junkie…” he mumbled.
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“Hey, baby” Mikey said into the phone, “are you alright?”
“Uh huh, yeah I’m fine.” You responded, “I just caught some really bad cramps.”
Mikey hummed, “you sound different.. you sound like you been crying.”
You tighten your grip on your cellphone. Of course he could tell when you been crying, you guys been dating since teenage years. He knew you more than you knew yourself. “Hahaha,” you tried laughing it off, “I do?”
Mikey didn’t say a word nor did he find anything funny. You could tell his silence meant he was dead serious, “baby?” You said.
“Y/N, what’s really the matter? Did something happen while I was in the meeting?” Mikey asked.
“No no! Like I said, I caught some cramps!” You answered, “I promise nothing else happened!”
Mikey sighed, “alright fine.. but I’m coming home to rub your tummy, just the way you like it alright?”
“Mikey, no! This is your event! You can’t just leave because of something for small and irrelevant!” You said.
“But you’re not small nor irrelevant, baby. I rather be home with you anyway. I miss you already.” Mikey said. That made you smile.. but you can’t allow him to see how puffy your eyes were from crying.
“I miss you too but it’s fine.. I’m just gonna take some pills and go to sleep. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’m always worried about you…” Mikey said.
You sighed, “please Mikey.. I’m fine, it’s really no big deal, okay? I’m gonna go to sleep.. I’ll talk to you later. Love you, bye.” click. you hung up the phone.
Mikey stared at his phone. He knew something wasn’t right.. he could tell it in your voice.
“Boss.” Kakucho called out from behind, “did you get in touch with her?”
“…yeah” Mikey answered, “but she sounded off.. I know she been crying but she wont tell me why, then she hung up on me.”
Kakucho frowned.
“I’m gonna go home to check on her. You and Haru wrap things up here.” Mikey said as he waved for a driver.
Kakucho nodded.
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When Mikey made it home, you were already in bed bundled up. Mikey took off his slippers and climbed into bed beside you. He moved your hair out of your face and kissed your cheek then he wrapped his arms around you. His hands roaming your body until he touched your stomach and squeezed it.
“So chubby,” he mumbled in the crook of your neck.
He thought you were sound asleep but you weren’t.. you were wide awake. And your eyes began to swell up with water. Did Mikey think you were too big also? Why would he say that?
You suddenly pushed Mikey off of you, “give me some space.” You said in a snappy tone. Mikey was concerned, that’s how you guys always slept.. so why now you needed space? “Y/N, what’s wrong?” Mikey asked. No response. “Y/N?”
“Geez, Mikey! I’m trying to sleep!! I don’t feel like talking right now!” Your voice was cracking and Mikey could hear it clearly now.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Mikey asked.
You didn’t answer him..
He got closer to whisper in your ear, “I love you, ya know that? So whenever you’re ready to talk I’ll be here. I won’t pressure you into telling me what’s going on… but don’t shut me out.. isn’t that what you always told me?”
His words made you silently cry harder. You really wanted to be in his arms and tell him everything but it’ll just caused trouble for the others and you didn’t want that.
“I- I’m fine, really..” you said in a low crackly voice.
You’re crying only made his chest ache. He couldn’t take it so he forcibly turned you on your back and pinned you arms back, “I hate it when you lie and I hate it more when you cry.” He said, “please tell me, what’s going on! If it’s something I can do, I’ll do it just tell me! Please don’t push me away when I know you’re hurting.”
Suddenly you burst into tears beneath him. Mikey let go of your arms and you immediately covered your face, “I’m sorry! hiccup I’m so sorry— I lied about the cramps because I didn’t want to cause trouble for anyone!” You cried.
Mikey removed your hands, “cause trouble? What are you talking about?” You turned away from his gaze but he gently turned your face back to him, “please tell me what happened.”
You deeply sighed, “ Haruchiyo.. he said some things about me and I got a little emotional about it. It’s not a big—”
Mikey cut you off, “what did he say?”
“He, um called me a fat bitch and said if he was you he’d put me on a slim fast..” you said lowly.
“So that’s why you left? Because you think your fat?” Mikey asked looking down at you.
You nodded. “I am.. even you think I am.”
He chuckled, “the only thing that’s fat on you is your pussy but in all seriousness, I don’t think your too big. You’re perfect in my eyes.”
He leaned forward to kiss you, “I love your curves. I love your thighs. I love your ass, oh and I love your tits.. they’re my personal pillows.” He said in between kisses.
He then leaned up to remove his shirt, “I’m gonna show you how much I love you and your beautiful body. I’m gonna show you I don’t need anyone but you.”
You wanted him. You needed him at this point. He then ripped your thin night gown, revealing your round firm tits, “I’ll get you a new one.”
You laughed, “you’re gonna go broke constantly buying me clothes because you be ripping perfectly fine clothes.”
“If I go broke for you then I’ll be content because you’re worth every penny.” He said as he sucked on your nipple. The sensation of his warm tongue caused you to moan, rubbing your fingers through his platinum hair. He finished it off by making a loud pop sound. He removed his pants and boxers, revealing his hard dick with precum leaking from the tip.
You leaned up to begin sucking it but Mikey stopped you, “remember I said I’m gonna show you.. it means that tonight is all about you. I want you to lay back and let me satisfy you.”
And he did just that.. all night until the sun was shining he showed you just how much he loved your body. He didn’t disappoint at all.
Through all the love making, Mikey didn’t forget about Sanzu… oh he was livid and was gonna make sure that Sanzu’s punishment was a reminder to the other executives to think twice before making his angel cry.
Come to find out Sanzu just had a huge crush on you… though that didn’t stop Mikey from breaking his nose and suspending all his access to his drugs.
Sanzu was a crying mess apologizing to you, “Y/NNN- I’m sowwy, I didn’t mean any of it! I just like you and I didn’t want the guys finding out about it!! My nose hurt so badddd- I’m so ughhh, I’m so sorry! Plwease forgive me! Mikey took away all my plugggs!!”
You forgive him without much thought.. though you fussed at Mikey for breaking his nose and all Mikey did was pout and asked if he could lay his head in between your tits.
Kakucho sure got a good laugh off of Sanzu’s misery. “Serve you right..”
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sadly this doesn’t have a title but it’s for all my curvy girls and especially @thisbicc <3 I’m so so sorry for the wait love but as I said before, I hope this makes you feel better!! You’re beautiful no matter what <3 always remember that lovely <33
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