#I can't do anything because everything seems horribly scary

[quimichi]

. . . . . ╰──╮HOW FAR GONE ARE YOU?╭──╯ . . . . .

Childe x Creator!Reader

He's your most devoted Worshipper, doing everything and anything for you, without any orders. Sounds like a dream, doesnt it? Well...it could be if he wouldn't had lost his mind...can you fix him tho?

"I took care of those who dared to do...profanity against you, my grace" his words, so careful yet rushed. He came in a hurry, he seems to came as fast as he could to proudly announce his doing to you. But you can't help but think...what exactly did he do?

"What did you do, Childe?" You can feel his answer, deep down you know what he did to those souls who dared to not worship the god he is obsessed with. Personally, you couldn't care less about a few who dont like you as their creator, but Childe could never accept this as you could. "They have been... taken care of." Childe's voice is cold, emotionless, and his eyes are dead set on your face. His words feel frozen, they sting on your skin and let shivers run down youe spine. Childe truly is...your most scary and feared Worshipper. He says it flatly but there is a sense of victory in his tone. Everything he does for you makes him proud, he will always come running to you like a child to their parents, this is how it feels like, a child looking for his parents approval.

"They are no longer a threat to your rule." Do you truly want to know what he did? Do you truly want to ask him this? Do you TRULY wanna feed into his obsession even more?....

"Childe, please tell me what you did" your voice was layered with worry, but he can't hear it, he won't understand it. He is far to much gone now to even understand in what state of worry he puts you in. "I have killed them, my grace." Childe's words are delivered with a smug smile, and when you hear it, a chill goes down your spine. "They will never again be able to insult you... or me again."

Childe is breathing faster now, as if reliving the moment for you. His face is flushed, but there is no remorse, no doubt. Only excitement, a cruel satisfaction. Never insult him again? "Why would they ever insult you?"

Childe's eyes flicker closed. "Because they were jealous," he says with a snarl in his tone. "They were jealous of the time I spent with you. They thought you did not deserve my dedication... so I made them understand." "You killed them because you thought those people were jealous?" Now you truly know that he lost all common sense, lost in his devotion for you. Lost in his love, his obsession, his adoration for you. If he could, if you would allow him to, hed get rid of every single person in Teyvat to only have you for himself. Childe flashes you a brilliant smile. "Of course, My God." He says it so casually— as if he was telling you that water is wet. "Did you really think I would tolerate that kind of insolence?"

So, he does truly think that people who notice his obsessions with you are doing profanity against you, because of jealousy? Isn't the mind of a insanely obessed and delusional person beautiful? But, can you really accept him this way, can you handle him? Can you...fix him?

A/n: it turned out so much more messy than intended...it's horrible haha

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #genshin childe #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #childe x reader #creator reader #self aware genshin #Bro idk there are so many tags for this

[queenie-the-court-jester]

circus x gn!reader

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please, raise your hands for tonight's star act, mx.maddox and the wanderer's!

★Waking up in a thick black fog was not something you'd ever expect to happen to you. Looking around, Spotting a circus in the distance, was pretty much your only hope of finding a way out. What were they doing out here? Were they in the same boat as you? Regardless, you just hoped they're nice..

★kri was the first to meet you, having found you wandering around outside the circus tents, he quickly introduced himself and asked you where you came from. After explaining your predicament, he nodded in thought

"gee.. that sounds rough.. but don't worry, I'm sure Maddox will know what to do, come with me!"

★Maddox had been stuck in the circus for a long while, along with the other residents. Kri opened the flap into his tent and quickly explained the situation.

"I'm sorry for your predicament young one.. but im afraid we don't know any way out.. on the other hand, you are welcome to stay and be apart of the circus"

★having no other options you accepted, kri excitedly dragging you to the nursery, where all the children and young adults stayed. He introduced you to jiro, Kyo and wendy. Explaining how the four of them were the clowns

★jiro welcomed you with a kind smile, and nodded his head as greeting. You noticed how he didn't seem like much of a talker, preferring to watch and listen

"welcome y/n, I hope you enjoy your stay here"

★Kyo was obviously the most energetic of the bunch, happily blabbering about whatever and making horrible jokes. His friends only gave a small laugh and pat on the back

"it's great to see a new face, come to me if you need a picker upper okay?"

★and last but not least, Wendy. She stayed quiet, giving a shy smile and looking away whenever you'd make eye contact. She shook your hand and soon left, having seemed uncomfortable

"don't mind her... She just needs time getting used to everything, she'll come around"

★they assigned you a bed, and that's how your life at the circus started. Everyone was very welcoming, everyone but wendy. Often staring at you wearily and from a distance. 'Till one night, she came into your tent after everyone went to sleep

"shhh.. I'm sorry for bothering you this late butI need to talk to you.."

"..okay? What is it you need?"

"I'm sorry if I've been coming off as.. distant.. it's just.. you remind me of something that feels so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it.."

"oh..."

"..as you already know, everyone calls me wendy, so you can too I guess.. sorry, did that come off as cold? I'm not really used to Talking to new people.. a-anyways, if you need anything, or if you have any questions.. you can come to me"

"I'll.. keep that in mind, thank you Wendy"

★she gives you a smile and leaves soon after, quickly rushing away. The next few days, she slowly starts talking to you. Opening up bit by bit

"you know.. everyone calls us the dream team, but I really don't think we're suitable for that name. Even Maddox calls us a nightmare!"

"yeah, because you're the main factor to that assumption"

"Wendy.."

"...sorry"

★during your stay with them, you learned that Wendy showed up at the circus just a few days before you, no wonder she seemed so distant. Sometimes she'd say random words in Spanish, most likely cussing kyo out

★their roles in their act goes like this: jiro and kri are the sideshow, doing tricks and all sorts of things while Kyo and wendy were the mains. Acting out many silly stories and using slapstick humor most of the time.

★the first time you saw them in their costumes you nearly had a heartattack. Imagine seeing four scary looking clowns just staring at you ominously from the darkness

★they perform for these shadow people that would come to the circus, nobody knows what they are or why they show up, but there were rumours that once, long ago, the previous circus inhabitants refused to perform for them and.. well.. they had to be "replaced"

★during one of the dream teams acts, you wandered off. Exploring the back tents and dressing rooms when you came across multiple people you recognized, from when they all welcomed you into their little family

★a ballerina named Odette, who was next in line for the show. She seemed sweet as she waved at you from her dressing room, waving back you quickly left

"oh! Hello y/n, do you need something?"

★samson the beast tamer, a peculiar cocky man. He bowed as he dragged a lion by a chain collar behind him. You sincerely hoped they didn't mistreat the animals like other circuses, but judging by the lions calm and obedient attitude, maybe it was domesticated?

"good day sweets"

★will the stuntsman. He gave you a devilish grin as he passed by you, carrying some metal pipe. Giving a wave and smile in return

"see ya later toots!"

★maybe living in the circus won't be so bad..?

#yandere x reader #yandere x darling #queenie writes #queenie ocs #ocs #yandere #yandere female #yandere male #male yandere #yandere male x reader #yandere girl #yandere x you #yandere blog #yandere boyfriend #soft yandere #yandere thoughts #Mild yandere #Yandere clown #Yandere circus #Yandere ballerina #Yandere circus x you #Yandere clowns x you #polygamous yanderes #X reader #Gn reader #x gn reader #x gn y/n #Yandere x y/n

[valiantroeagleangel]

Varney.

Vampire! Noah Sebastian x female reader.

Varney! Noah, mention of blood, kind of dub-con but not really but a bit I think because of compulsion, oral, unprotected sex, mention of death.

I often have thoughts with Vampire! type of shit and I think I got a bit carried away gathering some of them here. Maybe I need to warn that this is inspired by the book "Varney the Vampire: The Feast of Blood." It's gothic horror I think, nothing too graphic is going on here though. But just- don't want you to be fooled, this is based on gothic gross vampires not that sparkling Edward bitch. I know nobody reads that part every time but you can't say you haven't been warned.

5.3k words if you ask.

Mama’s tag list:  @philomenie @gipsonnikki @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy  @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner  @loeytuan98  @sthnog  @cookiesupplier  @cncohshit  @lma1986  @skulliecadaver-blog @talialovesmiw @to-be-written @4rtificialfolio @arkiliastuff

"Varney enjoys all the pleasures at once and when he manages to desecrate the bed of a pretty young woman while bleeding her white in a horrible sucking sound. He is a fearsome and scary creature that usually wakes up the members of the fair sex by scratching at the window of their room."

She knew he was here. She could feel him, hear him. She could hear the same four notes he was humming, letting the melody indicate his presence to those around. She looked through the window, trying to discern the shape outside, the condensation on the glass concealing his figure. But she knew he was here, god she knew and she couldn't look away. She didn't dare to move, she didn't want him to know she knew. He did though. Of course, he did. He just didn't say anything, he couldn't scare his prey. She was so innocent in her white nightgown, creeping at the window from her bed, fearing to be harmed in the middle of the night.

So he continued to sing his chords, the notes living rent-free in her mind for years now.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It was like an obsessive thought, it intruded her mind, and it ate her brain. All she could do was hum along every time she heard them.

She knew he was here, she always did. And even if she abhorred it to hell, all she could do was to be haunted by these notes. They were so mesmerizing, like she was compelled to appreciate them, finding comfort in them even though they seemed terrifying.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She murmured them like a mantra, like it would save her from damnation. As if they were going to keep him away from her when he was the one living by their harmony.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It wasn't that hard. Actually, if she tried, she was sure she could play them on the piano.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She was just a child then, not so long ago, when she first heard these four notes. That day he left a letter. "I'll come for you, my yuri." Yuri was not her name and by then she had no fucking clue of what he meant. She still doesn't. With time, the years went by and he started to reach for her again. It was first once a month, then once every two weeks, to finally once a week. The more she grew the more he seemed to visit. He was frightening her. He looked so tall, so massive and impressive. She only saw his face once, disguised in the darkness of her room. It was the only time he approached her that close and despite the terror she felt that night all she could remember was his long nose and the way his hair framed his face.

But while he continued his visits, he never tried anything to harm her to her surprise. She knew what he was, she often heard the elder talk about these creatures that come for you at night. But she liked to think he was some kind of protector. Oh, only if she knew. His intentions were everything but caring and kind. He wanted her. From the moment he saw her as a child, he wanted her, he wanted her blood. She smelled like no other.

His first thought was to get rid of her as a child, get a good meal from her and leave her for dead in the snow in front of her house. But even for him, killing that innocent child was too much. So he waited, promising himself a good feast for the years to come. He just had to watch for her, to be sure that no one would try to harm his prey. They called him Varney, Varney the vampire, attacking only those who were pure enough to be maidens. But as the years passed he never acted. He could have assailed her a thousand times now. She was not a child anymore and she lived so carefree- that girl was completely unconscious. He needed to act and to act soon before she would do something that would ruin her forever.

But he did nothing, he watched her for years, he observed how she evolved, how she went from that sweet smiling child to the woman she was today. And god, he was happy he waited because nothing ever smelled as divine as her. She smelled like strong lilies, yuri.

Yuri was the Japanese appellation for lilies. He didn't know her name, even after all these years he didn't look into it. He didn't need to know his prey, all he needed to was watch over her. Watch how happily she danced during the spring balls, how sad she cried during the dead season at the end of the autumn, how charming she was for the Christmas time, and how fragile she looked alone in her bed at night. That poor nightgown wasn't doing her any favour, he swore that if he squinted just a bit more he could see everything. That clothing was so see-through that she might be freezing to death during those stormy nights.

One day he dropped her a cloth, some kind of duvet for her body to heat. It was the only time he actually entered her room, hoping for her to be dead asleep. Unfortunately, she was not, and she saw his face. He knew she did, he only hoped for her to not remember, to think that it was some kind of dream. Only that she wasn't dumb, she knew he was lurking for her all these years and she knew he was here that night, next to her bed. At first, she thought she was good to die, the time had come. A stranger in her room watched her sleep like a psychopath, but he only dropped that duvet, and she knew it was him. He hummed for her and her body relaxed immediately. He had tamed her, had domesticated her. She wasn't even worried about him intruding on her space like that.

He knew he did a great job then, even if she saw what she was supposed to never see, his face.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Winter balls have never been her thing. She much preferred the ones that were held in the spring or the summer. The celebrations were different, more festive. During the winter the balls were cold, held in big mansions from the ones who were welcoming all the people. Often they were masquerade parties, and she hated that too. She didn't like wearing that mask all night, it was itching and making her face sweat like a pig. Gosh, she hated them, and that corset dress too. It was so tight she could barely breathe. Spring balls were allowing more liberties, no masks, no dresses, nothing but dancing.

Nonetheless, she still walked through that hall, finally entering that marble castle and she couldn't help but appreciate the heat that welcomed her. Greeted by some kind of butler she walked through the corridors, reaching the room of the festivities.

She stared at the impressive chandelier, overwhelmed by all the luxury that surrounded her. She didn't have any idea whose house it was this time. Winter balls were held by the nobles of the land, one by one, it's all she needed to know, at least that's what she lived by.

And just like that the night went, she danced around with some people, chatted with others, it was all pleasant until she couldn't take it anymore. Politely she escaped the small group she was with, reaching for a balcony of some kind as she hoped for some air. That corset was for sure killing her. She laughed to herself, the idea of being killed by her awful garments making her smile a little.

"Oh no the poor lady suffocated in that way too tight dress, who's idea it was? We should strip her naked to see!" She mimicked some kind of rude man by herself, laughing even more at her antics. Maybe she was drunk, maybe it was the heat obstructing her brain, but she found that pleasant enough.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Until he called for her. She first thought her brain was playing her tricks, but he called again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She looked up, then down, looking for that well-known figure, only to notice him hidden among the roses of the garden below. She moved as fast as she could, hoping to actually be able to catch him tonight. She had so many things to ask, but she wasn't afraid, curiosity was gnawing at her.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

He sang the chord again and she let his voice guide her through the labyrinth of flowers and small trees she was losing herself in.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

"Come for me, my yuri."

He talked to her and for the first time, she felt like she heard his voice, like he was real, like all of this was concrete.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She couldn't see him yet, but the more she walked the more the melody became persistent.

"Yuri."

He guided her with his voice, keeping it sultry, as soft as his sweet words. Once again transported by his melodies, all she could do was search for him, she was completely frenetic, obsessed. She needed him, she needed more. She wondered why every time she heard him sing she couldn't feel fear anymore. As if he was some kind of saviour, an angel from heaven.

And then she saw him, standing in front of the fountain, hidden by thousands of thorns and roses. She recognized that tall frame and that nose. It's all she could remember him by, the long nose, so straight, so pretty, making him look so elegant.

She was in awe, her eyes staring straight into his, her lips agape. She didn't even dare to swallow, worried he might disappear at any second as if he was supernatural. He wasn't real, he wasn't human, she swore he was not. But he was clearly not an angel either. His aura was so dark and she remembered why she feared him at first.

His eyes pierced through her skin and she suddenly felt naked, as if she was not the one only wearing nightgowns in front of him every night for the past ten years. It was so different from what he used her to, he actually looked terrifying, as she remembered him from when she was a kid. He felt the change in her mood, felt how frightened she became in an instant. And without her even realizing he was by her side, in a flash, he towered over her against that thorny bush.

"It's okay my yuri, don't be afraid." He tried to soothe her, to coax her, but it didn't work that time. As if his voice had lost all of his fascinating power.

She tried to step back, only to puncture the naked skin of her arms with another thorn, a single drop of blood forming at her wound. It cascaded through her arm until it reached her hand. She felt it rolling down but her eyes were drowning in his. She couldn't look away, it didn't matter how frightened she actually was, her gaze couldn't leave his.

He licked his lower lips, the glow in his eyes darkening, and she didn't miss any of that. He swallowed hard, his eyes alternating between hers and her lips. He licked his once again, until he couldn't bear it one more minute. Carefully, he approached his face to hers, brushing his lips on hers.

"You’re bleeding Yuri." he whispered and she swallowed hard, her voice stuck in her throat. "Be careful, we wouldn't want to hurt that delicate flower."

Was he talking about her or about the roses behind her? She had no idea but she still blushed and he stepped back, leaving her some personal space again while she realized she actually had stopped breathing for several seconds now. He held his hand to her as he went sitting on the edge of the fountain.

She followed obediently, actually taking his hand in her as he pulled her toward him, startled by how hot she was compared to him. He made her stand between his spread legs, turning her so he could face her back. His eyes fell on the blood spreading on her arm, strings of red tarnishing the purity of her skin. Hypnotized by it he let his fingers travel from her hand to her forearms and the upper arms, brushing gently her skin in his path, ever so slowly, as delicate as he saw her. The scent of it was becoming intoxicating and he wished he could smell more, touch more, feel the thickness of the blood between his fingers, he wanted to taste her so badly. She smelled like lilies but would she taste like lilies too?

"Yuri." It escaped him, a murmur that he couldn't refrain from, it's all he was thinking about. Lily, Yuri. He didn't move, he didn't even try to act like nothing happened, he just fixated on the blood imprinting her skin. He hadn't smelled it in years but it smelled as divine as the first time he saw her. It was even more sacred than that day.

"What does Yuri mean?" She asked, clueless, as she stared at the bush where she actually hurt herself. Her voice startled him, he wasn't used to hearing her. He found that sweet, so sweet. She was all her blood was, he was sure of that and he wondered, for a second, if he wasn't just infatuated with her.

"Lily." He answered calmly, but if his heart was still actually beating he swore he would be breaking.

"Lily as the flower?" He only hummed at her as a form of answer. His thumb brushed the wound and she didn't react. He wished she would have hissed or whined, but she didn't, she only stayed still, staring at the bush. "Why?"

The more his thumb caressed her the more she relaxed into his touch, as if she wasn't terrified minutes before.

"Because-" He stopped, thinking of what he was about to say actually. "Just because. You don't need to know."

When he finally took his finger away, he brought it to his lips, allowing himself to taste, just for a bit, just a tidbit as his tongue licked it more than he should have.

The taste lingered in his mouth and thinking suddenly became hard, way too hard for the simple man he used to be. Worried by the absence of sounds he was making she turned back, facing him.

He looked at her from under, curled up on himself as he revelled himself in the flavour of her blood. Eyes dark and bloodshot, canines peeking through, long nails finishing his hands. When she realized what he was actually doing her eyes widened. His lips were stained with the liquid. For an unknown reason, she found him absolutely gorgeous. He looked so needy, it actually surprised her. How could the strong figure ensuring her at night look so weak under her like that?

Caught red-handed, he tried to compose himself to not lose the imposing presence he tried so hard to give himself these past few years. But the blood still on his lips, he couldn't behave decently. He felt so stupid, like a horny teenager, all he wanted was her.

Completely incautiously, she approached her fingers, wiping his lips and her blood away. When her fingers left his mouth he chased her, chased the heat of that alive body and the taste that was coming along, the taste he was losing. She could have touched his canine in that moment, she could have injured herself badly by unleashing that part of him. She hadn't noticed them but they were menacing to pierce through her weak skin and suck the life out of her. It's all he had been dreaming of all these years, he was so close to his goal, if only he dared to catch her.

But in the silence of the night a couple came to disturb their peace, distracting her attention away from him for a couple of seconds, acknowledging the two persons stepping into the garden. And when she eventually looked back at him he had disappeared, like he vanished into the night.

She cursed, startled by how quickly he was to leave. She knew he was able to do that, she was just not expecting him to do it tonight. She was so close, terrified but yet drowned to him, and now he faded without even telling her his name. She sighed, desperate as she sat on the edge of the fountain, trying to process what just had happened.

On his side, he cussed everybody who dared to put themself between himself and her. He was so close finally, if only he got a few more minutes he could have ravished her right here right now. How stupid he was to have hesitated even one second, he was getting weak and it was something that he couldn’t allow.

Following that event, the nights passed and looked all the same, dull, cold, and annoying. He didn't come for a total of nine nights, she counted them all. Nine nights were she was, in fact for the first time since her childhood, free from his gaze. She could have left, she could have brought someone home, she could have done all the things she doesn't dare to do when she knows he's lurking at her, but she did nothing.

On that ninth night though, she knew he was here. Despite the absence of melody, she could feel him, she could tell how disguised he was in the shadow, like he was actually for once ashamed of what he was doing. Because all he was, in fact, was a creep, lurking at a woman's window every night. And when it finally hit her all she could do was clench her legs. He was here for her, he was watching her every night, in that white nightgown, that little dress, revealing her naked body underneath, and he was here, and he was watching her.

Her legs clenched once again and she rolled into her bed, trying to chase her thoughts away but she was still feeling his presence. It was burning her, every ounce of the sheets her body was touching tingled. She rolled over and over, the image of that needy man, sucking on her blood, his fingers in his mouth like he was starving. She clenched her legs. Again. She was so petite under him, against the bush, her body hitting the thorns. Again. Was it the blood? Would he come for her if she was bleeding again? Again.

She wanted him to come for her, she wanted to ask him his name and feel his cold fingers on his arms once again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called for him, naturally, like he called for her but he didn't answer, he stayed in his darkness, unsure of what to do. Did she want him to devour her all? Did she know what he had planned to do?

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called again, tempting him, playing with the little nerves he had.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Like a plea, she called him, she called for his furtive touch, his calloused fingers, she called for him to get out of the darkness. And when he finally dared to step out of the corner, she realized that he wasn't outside like she thought he was. He was in her room. Like he did the first time he saw her wearing that ridiculous nightgown. Her eyes widened at her -expected- unexpected visitor.

He approached her bed as she straightened herself, switching positions to sit on her feet, revealing herself. His hands approached her face, his fingers caressing the top of her cheek and she shivered, the contact surprising her, his coldness contrasting with her hot body.

"Shh, it's too late to be afraid, Yuri." As always, his voice relaxed her and she leaned into his touch, her face chasing his hand until he cupped his whole cheek, his fingers reaching from behind her ears. His thumb stroked her face and she sighed, closing her eyes, like it was her missing piece. She didn't understand why but she felt herself ignite. She was burning and the more he gently caressed her face the more she was catching on fire.

In a movement, as furtive as always, he sat on the bed, the mattress not making a single sound as it was used to. When she finally opened her eyes back, she met his gaze and it all suddenly became hard to breathe. She wanted to call him, to whisper his name but she had no idea of who he was, so she only murmured a quiet "please." that looked more like a whine than anything else, it was a supplication. She didn't know what she was pleading for but she did, she needed to get freed from this, whatever it was, and she knew he was the one who was going to help her. It felt like evidence, he was the one who was going to free her from that painful agony.

"Please what? Tell me, my sweet lily." He asked, his free hand cupping her other cheek and she closed her eyes again, expecting a kiss that never came. Why would he have kissed her? She didn't know, but she knew he was about to, she saw it, she felt it, she-

"Kiss me." She asked for it, the words escaping her without her consent, like he compelled her to do so. "Please kiss me-"

She wanted to call his name again but was dismissed that right, her lack of knowledge of his person showing. It scared her once again, how ready she was to give herself to that man she barely knew, how she let him watch her all these years, it wasn't herself, she was scared of him but why did it feel so good at that very moment?

But thoughts became long forgotten when she felt his lips on her, chastely moving in rhythm, like another chord. It's all she needed to lose it, she didn't think anymore, a violent moan leaving her when he pressed himself even more on her. Their two bodies flopped on the bed, her back hitting the mattress as he quickly settled himself on top of her without ever breaking the kiss. He could have done whatever he wanted with her, she was putty in his hand at that very moment, she belonged to him the second he put his hands on her nine nights ago.

He kissed her as if his life depended on it, as if he wasn't already half-dead, he was drowning in her scent. The more he kissed her the more she whined into his arms, her scent becoming stronger and stronger. He was drunk on her, he could feel her blood rushing through her whole body, he could hear how fast her heart was beating, how hot and aroused she was just from his kisses. When he finally broke apart for real, letting her gasp for air, he analyzed her, the needy look she was giving him, as if she needed this as much as he did, as she didn't need to live, what was her life in comparison to man's touch?

She wanted to ask for his name again, and finally, as if he read her mind, he breathed out, his mouth drawn to her neck.

"Noah." His mouth attached itself, almost automatically to her skin and he dared, just so little, press his teeth against her carotid, enough to just feel the blood pump under his touch.

She tilted her head back at the contact, sighing. "Noah." She repeated and he nodded, smiling in the crook of her neck as he travelled on her body. She was smelling so good, he was going crazy, the more he approached her heart the more excited he was. His lips landed on her clavicle, her cleavage and when he finally dared reach that devil gown, who taunted him so many times, he ripped it, freeing her chest from the fabric. He almost moaned at the sight of her bare body, like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life, and it was. She was almost glowing in his eyes, like she was coming straight from heaven and he wondered how it was possible for a creature of the devil like him to be able to reach for the gods through her.

"Noah." She called again, cautiously, like these words would hurt her if she said them too fast or too loud.

He hummed against her, his head already diving into her chest, his lips attached to her left breast he sucked on it, feeling her heart pump under him, feeling the blood coming to his mouth as he sucked a bit more vividly. Until he sucked enough for his teeth to pierce through her skin, her blood escaping her without her being able to contest or fight. All she could feel was the euphoria that his touch was giving her.

The taste of her was like a relief, it was the best thing he ever put in his mouth, after centuries of existence. It was the sweetest of the nectars. When he was still human he recalled once drinking a wine called "The Wine of the Gods." The best one ever created. But he swore it was nothing compared to her. Nothing could compete with that delicate sweetness, she tasted like she smelled and he couldn't stop. He wondered if her pussy tasted the same, his intrusive thoughts battling against him and his will to feed. He couldn't get his teeth out of her breast but god- her pussy, scented as divine as her blood and he wanted to taste her so bad.

He opened his eyes back but it was too late, she was already too far away from her pleasure, drowning in all the sensations she was feeling. When he finally collected enough will he left her chest, not without regrets, to pamper her with kisses, travelling through her stomach to reach her bare pussy. She didn't bother herself with underwear at night and he couldn't be more glad for that.

He kissed her pelvis, his mouth not leaving her skin for more than a few seconds. And when he finally dared to settle between her legs, when she automatically spread them for him, all he wanted to do was thrust violently into her and bite her neck until she would cry from the pain. But he did nothing of that, he gently bit her inner thigh, delecting himself with the so little blood he took.

Finally deciding to put his hands to good use, he grabbed her by the hips, his fingers sinking in their fat as he pushed her to his face. She squirmed under him, her hands reaching for his hair by instinct. All she wanted was to push him more and more on her, begging him to speed up his pace. She was dying for his touch, completely compelled and mesmerized by her predator, just like he wanted her.

But the predator liked to play too much. He only teased her, keeping his slow motions, nice and gentle, groaning when she would moan a little bit louder or push him a little bit too hard.

He was quick to get how her body worked and how she reacted in a certain way. Soon he had his two hands grabbing her legs to put them on his shoulders, his tongue pressed against her cunt with such fervour. His nose rubbed her clit, making her moan. Her hands immediately left his hair to cover her mouth, refraining from her sounds but he was quick to move, leaving his spot between her legs to reach her face, grabbing her hands to move them away from her mouth.

"Let me hear you Yuri, let me hear the holy sounds you make." Quickly, he regained his place back, his tongue pushing itself on her folds as she moaned again.

He was cold, all of his being was freezing but it was enough to make her burn under his touch. She desired him in a way that she never desired anybody, and yet she felt so away that she wasn't sure it was her who was feeling all these emotions. Her heart was ready to explode as she pushed his head deeper against her core. She moaned and he answered back, groaning vividly between her legs.

The closer she grew to her orgasm the sweeter she tasted, it was intoxicating, it was all too much. Until she came, rocking her hips on his face, quivering between his hands and crying his name for her own sake, to remember something tangible, like all of this was real. Because she felt completely out of her body, her conscience tore apart from herself.

Nonetheless, he kept eating her, he couldn't get enough of her scent, of her taste. If he wasn't a starved man before he definitely was one now. He only pulled apart when he heard her cry his name out, completely overstimulated. And when he finally dared to look at her he understood how fucked he was. Because there was no way he was turning back now, there was no way he was letting her run free into the wild again. He just needed her body over his, he needed to be inside of her for real, to feel her alive around him. At that very moment, he didn't care about anything else, he needed to feel how warm she was, how alive she was compared to him. And when he finally achieved that feeling, when he finally thrusted into her without a care in the world he almost immediately came from the sensation. Nothing ever made him feel alive like that, even not when he was actually alive.

She cried for him but at this point, every sound she made was long forgotten, he was already gone. He heard her heart beating, like a psychotic melody. It was maddening, the more he thrusted the more he heard it.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She kept crying of pleasure, reaching for his embrace and when he finally held her between his arms she was ready to give up on her life. It was feeling all too good to be true, it wasn't her, she knew it, he was only chasing his own pleasure yet she was reaching her climax so quickly. Something wasn't right but it was too late to notice. Her arms around his back she held him closer, tightening her grasp on him to comfort herself.

She was doomed. She knew it, it was the end. She cried out, from the pain this time as she acknowledged her situation. He held her closer, feasting on her supplications, one of his hands reaching for her face, his thumb brushing away some tears."Shhh, it's okay Yuri. It's too late now." and before she could come he bit violently into her neck, the pain awakening immediately. It was violent, brutal, nothing like before. She felt her life escape her without being able to do anything while he continued to fete on her, unable to stop drinking from her, years of starvation just for that instant. But for him, it was all worth it, nothing had ever been as worth it as it was. It was delicious, excruciating all of his senses. He never felt so great in so many years. He loved those who were pure enough to be maidens, they really were a gift from the gods, descended straight from heaven and he was bringing her back to where she belonged. Away from the monstrosities of the earth. Away from himself who belonged to hell. Varney.

The chords used are from Masquerade by Versailles.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #vampire! noah #smut #Spotify

[angstcorp]

HOW THEY HURT YOU

Summary: No one is perfect, and sometimes they hurt you, even without meaning to.

Author's note: I TRICKED YOU WITH FLUFF FIRST NOW IT'S TIME FOR P A I N.

Characters: Ayaka, Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, Angst, there's no comfort here (maybe in another post), mention of neglect in Ayato's, mention of a verbal fight in Kaeya's. There's no physical violence, and there's no will to hurt the other here, just people being people.

AYAKA is not the same when she is with you behind closed doors and when she is out in the public. Her clan and her family are so important to her, and she can't afford to mess up, which makes a lot of things feel... fake. And unfortunately, as her s/o, that means that she'll expect you to have the same high standards.

And it's so, so heavy. Not being able to be too spontaneous or taking a carefree decision, being out and not being yourself but rather representing something, all of that is hard to deal with when you were not born in it. Dancing in the rain is too childish, laughing too loudly is not proper, too much PDA is not allowed. You might try to negotiate that her own older brother doesn't seem to care about appearance as much, but she'll simply answer that she is the face of the Kamisato clan, not him.

AYATO tends to take you for granted. Once you've been together for some time, he simply expects you to forgive him for being late, for being busy, for not telling you everything, for keeping you in the dark. You love him, and you know he loves you and would never do anything to endanger you or hurt you, right?

Yet, he does. His absence hurts, the cold side of his bed hurts, his empty apologies hurt, all the gifts he sends through his retainers but never himself hurt, all the times you feel like the last person who knows whatever is going on, all of this hurt terribly. And he probably won't notice until you're at your breaking point and he might have already lost you already. He won't know what to do then, having ignored all the signs that led to this.

DILUC is... not good with words and emotions. He doesn't really know how to handle them, neither his own or others'. So when you're upset or angry or sad, he is at loss. Sure, he can hold you and bring you whatever you need, but words? Yeah, not his strong suit. He is either silent, or will try to solve whatever problem you have when you just need to vent, which makes you feel like an idiot or like whatever happened was your fault.

And it gets frustrating, both at himself for not finding the right word, and at you because you just don't seem to get what he means. When he sees he is doing more damage than good, he might just give you space... and should the same thing arises in the future, he might just avoid you to not make it any worse. Which is not the best thing to do.

KAEYA is insanely good with words it's almost scary. With you, he is nothing but flirt and sweet words and compliments and light teasing. But when you two are having a fight? His tongue goes faster than his brain, and his words cut deep. Depending on how angry he is, he might either immediately calm down and take back his words, or just steel his heart and refuses to feel any sense of guilt whatsoever. Maybe grow a thicker skin if the truth hurts that bad?

Once he cools down though, he will fall in a hole of self-loathing and guilt (hole he might try to fill with alcohol, too ashamed to confront you). He will eventually crawl back to you, but he knows how to use words too well to fool himself he can fix completely whatever his horrible words just damaged.

ZHONGLI is old. He might be one of the oldest beings in all of Teyvat, and it's so obvious in anything he does. There's nothing you can do to not feel the difference between the two of you, no matter how well he treats you. From how much he knows about everything, to how quickly he seems to take on all the newest trends, from how much stronger he is than you, to how well he seems to handle any situation.

Being with him sometimes feels like playing your first puzzle game together, except he has already done it once, and also hundreds of other puzzle games. He might let you think for yourself and try to figure out the solution, but he already has it. You feel like a child, with a parent watching over, waiting patiently until you get that the red cube goes in the square hole.

#genshin impact #ayato x reader #ayaka x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #zhongli x reader #Angst #No Comfort #tw neglect #tw verbal fight #Suffer with me #Next time will be how you hurt them #or maybe it'll be some comfort after fucking up #WE'LL SEE #gn reader #my writing

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

The Gilded Age, 02x05 Close Enough to Touch, my thoughts...

Omg I'm so happy for Aunt Ada! It was brilliant she didn't allow her fears to stop her marring the Reverend Forte. Their so sweet together. I understand that Aunt Agnes had to marry that man she did and as result had a horrible marriage but I'm glad the Reverend Forte pointed out to her that it was for her own selfish reasons she didn't want Ada to marry him and not because she was trying to protect Ada. I'm also glad Aunt Agnes got her head out of her butt and went to the wedding! Because no matter what she said under the grumpy exterior I want to believe she actually happy for her little sister. Now I want them to find a man for Aunt Agnes, wouldn't that be amazing to see!

Ok I completely annoyed by the whole Peggy and her boss thing. How played out, over done, so predictable and well just lazy is that?! Why can't they make her character smarter than that. Be all like oh hell no fool, you're married. Yes we had a scary fucking moment back there but no we don't need to be kissing or anything else. Because it makes Peggy's character come off as less than she is, less intelligent, less brilliant. It does such a deserves to her character!

But Bertha's staff was so not on our watch mf! I freakin love them. Especially Church making sure the Duke didn't end up with a lap full of hot soup. And Watson for catching on to what was going on in the first place! Bertha needs to give them and Mrs. Bruce a rise!

Oh I loved, loved watching Turner's plan at revenge go up in smoke. Omg Mrs. Fish comments perfectly just hitting Turner's last nerve lmfao!! God their making me truly hate her.

Bertha's dinner party gown was so beautiful. I do like seeing all the lighter colors this season and flower prints. I thought Bertha was rather cute when she kept checking to make sure everything for the dinner was perfect and all her staff kept reassuring her. I would like to see more moments like that where she's well cute. When Gladys tried to walk further down the talk, Bertha all come back here you lol. I so knew one of the main reason Bertha wanted to meet the Duke was because of Gladys. If she gets her way Gladys is going become a Duchess. It was great Bertha and George are not longer fighting omg. I didn't realize how heavy that made the show until the episode. Even with the events with Peggy unfortunately the episode still feel lighter.

Oscar and Maude Beaton are very sweet together but I don't want to see Maude get hurt. If Oscar actually loves her, perhaps like one loves a very dear friend or a best friend than maybe it's alright but if not. He definitely needs to stop acting like any kind of goldigger though! I just really want him to have honest feelings for Maude is all.

Marian if she doesn't want to be with Dashiell Montgomery ok. But her doing cringie face everytime he said something in that direction is getting old and annoying. Could she please grow the same spine for herself she seems to have for everyone else.

It's so awesome they put in about Emily Warren Roebling the first female engineer. That whole thing Larry finds out is completely ture part of history. I really appreciate the show added. It's important that our women's history finally be included.

#the gilded age #the gilded age season 2 #02x05 #close enough to touch #my thoughts #bertha russell #george russell #galdys russell #larry russell #ada brook #reverend forte #angus van rhijn #oscar van rhijn #marian brook #peggy scott #dashiell montgomery #maude beaton #mr. church #mrs. bruce #mr. waston tga

[teabutmakeitazure]

Twisted but Tender - 12: Power Imbalance

>Yan! Childe x Fem! Reader

a/n: Childe: Mhm yes, if I put a blade to my darling's neck she'll tell me everything and wouldn't mind it at all

Chapter summary: sometimes misunderstandings can be... scary

Warnings: threatening, being treated harshly (not sure if it would be counted as physical assault), unhealthy mentality.

Word count: ~1.5k

Series Masterlist

You keep as still as you possibly can as the blade presses into your skin. This is not how you thought things would turn out today. Everything was fine a moment ago, so what came over him?

The hand holding your arm squeezes the flesh and you wince in pain. "Sweetheart. You have some explaining to do." His chin rests above your head which means that he isn't paying attention to the blade in his hand.

This situation is scary and you want to cry. However, you can't. He'll take it the wrong way and seeing that he's doing this unprompted right now, who knows what he'll do if he's provoked.

"W-what are you talking about?"

At your question, he merely laughs. Leaning into your ear, he blows, breath warm compared to the cold air.

"The letter you drafted to send to your parents. You think that I wouldn't know if you wrote about everything that happened two weeks ago? And in such detail too, I'm impressed at how good you are with words. Still," the blade presses up to your neck even more and you whimper, "did you really think I'ld miss that?"

Shit. That letter, you started writing with the intention of a letter home but then you trailed off and wrote about Ajax putting you in that room and those recurring hallucinations. He ended up not doing it when you broke down and clung to him but you were still shaken up.

By all means, that wasn't what you wanted to send and never will you ever send something like that back home. You don't want your parents to worry. And besides, it's not like they can do anything. After writing everything down, you shoved the draft with the other papers with the intention to burn it later but forgot.

Seems like he read it.

"Answer me." His voice was low but threatening.

You're shaking. So badly, in fact, that you feel like your legs might give out any second. Your tongue feels numb and despite attempting to say something, all that you can do is weep.

Uncaring, Ajax releases his hold, spins you around and pushes you to a tree. When your back hits the trunk harshly, he presses the cool hydro to your neck once again. The free hand slams the surface right next to your face and you flinch horribly.

"I told you to answer me," he commands without raising his voice.

You close your eyes, think about Jax to calm yourself and try speaking again. "It's… it's not what you think."

"Oh really? Then I wonder what it might be. Enlighten me."

"I never intended to send that! I swear. I I just ended up wri- writing it because I was still… disturbed. I trailed off and didn't realise that it was a letter for my parents."

"Ah, an easy excuse. Come on, you really think I'm dumb?"

Why doesn't he listen to the truth!

"I swear Ajax. If I wanted to send that, I already would have posted it. I didn't! I was going to burn it but it slipped my mind."

"Ah, really?"

His words betray his actions because he's staring at you like a hawk, hand gripping the blade so tight you bet his knuckles are white.

"Yes."

"And how can I be sure that you're not lying to me?"

"You… you know how forgetful I am. Things slip my mind easily. And… and you know that I would never talk about our personal matters with anyone, not even my mother."

"I'm not convinced."

With a frozen tear piercing your eye, you admit defeat. "I don't know how to convince you. I really don't." You bite back a sob and continue, "I really am telling the truth Ajax. There are no schemes here."

He stares into your watery eyes for a few moments till he dispels the hydro blade and pulls you in for a hug. Immediately, your legs give out and now that the adrenaline is wearing off, your head starts pounding.

He seats the both of you on the snowy ground and holds you tight, face in his chest. It's then when you realise that you're sobbing.

The man you live with is as crazy as you first thought him to be. You don't know whether you should accept his comfort right now or not. Would it really be okay for you to? Especially right after he had a blade pressed to your neck over something that he didn't even know was true?

But your hands are shaking so badly. It's not even from the cold! Ajax, however, is so warm despite the cold actions earlier. It wouldn't hurt to lean in right? But…

No.

As you pull back for air, you push him away with all your strength. Even with that, he nudges only a little but enough to let you go. Scrambling away and backwards, you hold onto what you can grab off the tree to ground your consciousness.

He looks… hurt.

Really? Right after all that, he's the one who's hurt? He's playing with your feelings.

All this time, you thought you were using his feelings for you to your advantage but he was in on it too, as it seems. What a cruel joke.

He calls your name with a stern voice and you flinch, clutching the tree harder. The breeze that was blowing earlier completely stops, adding a complimenting silence to the atmosphere. It's ominous, just like his eyes.

The two of you idly stare at each other for a while till he decides to crawl towards you. He's slow, deliberately, to test the waters. When your hands scramble on the tree trunk as though it will offer protection, he stops.

Ajax realises that you're terrified, but it's okay. He made a mistake. You'll forgive him if he apologises because when you make a mistake, you apologise. If you think about it, it isn't his fault! He has a short temper when it comes to you, so when he saw something that could damage your relationship with him, he got angry.

He'll apologise and make it up to you. After all, he didn't mean to put a blade to your neck. You'll forgive him, won't you?

He reaches for you again and you let go of the tree to get up and run, but he grabs your leg short of the process. "Wait!" Turning your head to look at him, you brush off snow and hair from your face and try your best to pull your leg free.

However, he's stronger and he doesn't let go. Is there something else he has in store for you? Maybe that's why he isn't letting you go. This morning you had certainly called it when you said that he might pull something last minute.

And so here you are. With your husband dragging you towards him by the foot he's grabbed and then seating up your shaking form as you hyperventilate and push at his chest to let you go. He doesn't. He would never let you go. He hugs you like he's greeting a child and you don't think you've ever forgotten to breathe like this.

Even with all the struggling you're doing, he remains as firm as a rock. Snow crunches beneath you both as he readjusts the position to you being between his legs instead of over them. Then, he starts rubbing his hand soothingly over your back like he's calming you down after a nightmare. The funny part is that he is the nightmare you want to get away from.

After caging you in with both arms, legs and chest, he lays the both of you down in the snow. He tucks your head under his chin and whispers something you can't quite make out.

"I'm sorry."

He's apologising?

"I… don't know what came over me."

Is he serious?

"Please, forgive me. I promise I'll make it up to you."

You wriggle out an arm from his hold to push at his chest, but he grabs it. After a kiss, he readjusts it back and goes back to whispering apologies into your ear. With a pounding head, you hear every single one of them.

You're powerless here. Even in refusing a hug, you can't do anything. That's just the power imbalance between you both. You’re just glad that the ordeal ended with that because you don’t think you could’ve digested any more physical assault.

That night, when you got home, you excused yourself from dinner and went straight to the study. He didn't comment. You went to bed after that and ended up waking up to an empty one.

Ajax left for work and you're here. All alone and all silence, in the estate that he plays house with you.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #yandere x reader #yandere childe #yandere childe x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere tartaglia #yandere tartaglia x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin imagines #genshin x you #twistedbuttender

[guardian5tiger3]

Karma/the consequences of their actions.

Tarot Reading + intuitive/channeled messages.

Pick a group

1 2

3 4

Group one

I wonder if you guys believe in and are heavy on law of three. Either way it is in effect here. It's definitely coming back something like three times the damage they've done. So you l can imagine how rough that's gonna be for this person. If they try to fight it it's gonna get worse. This person got themselves in some sort of trap.they might have or will embarrass themselves in some type of love situation. Then they're gonna have to leave that situation or did , looking like a dumbass.at least to themselves. Nobody else might care, really. Depends on the individual here. Some are going to get ridiculed, others nobody effing cares. Lol. But they feel embarrassed regardless. They care too much about themselves and they have too much pride and ego. They might even do something to try to fix whatever embarrassed them and defend themselves somehow or show off or something like that. So you guys can imagine this is also going to trip them the heck up right? I'm getting the vibe of like someone just fucking shit up and the rest of the room is silent like , why are you having a meltdown right now it wasn't that serious. So, .... Wow....I actually don't see this person getting exposed for some type of negative or even evil way that they've been. Them on the inside, right. Whatever they've maybe done or said or if they keep it to themselves completely. I guess the universe is picking this path because it's going to lead them down the longest line of just complete bullshit sort of similar to what I've been trying to express, them just stuck in cobwebs or mud or something trying to get out but then therefore making it worse. Ok I'm thinking of quick sand. Haha. Yeah this person is gonna have some red in the face moments in the future. They seem like there's some chill people around them possibly. And observant. Someone might catch this person while they're talking and call them out and it just might really put them in the spot embarrass the shit out of them . Ha

Group two

Present or future. The only thing this person seems to know is that they're clueless and everything for them sucks. Someone could literally go blind so that's not even funny. But most of you this person just doesn't seem to know anything about anything. So I can see how that would be intimidating or scary to them. Maybe one or two of you a coma or it's a threat right now if they keep up the bullshit and drama. I don't think it has to end up that serious though. This person is being blinding so that 1. They can't stop their lives from going to shit in all the ways they'll get karma, maybe extreme poverty or something ? 2. So that they can't continue doing other things to other people. I heard harassment. This person is awful. I think they're worse than you realize. I think they put up a front or draw out emotions to manipulate people into thinking they're better than just horrible but they're even more horrible for doing that. It's like this person knew or knows that this can only end badly whatever they've been doing. And yet they decided then therefore to just cause as much havok as they can and still be secretive somehow I feel, about it before this inevitable ending took place. If their old this could be death not gonna lie. Or just getting too old to participate. But if their young take it how it fits. If it's some type of character they put on, they knew it wouldn't last forever. This person is already miserable, and their kinda slimy. I think their karma is worse or some of you got this far I sense that some of you this person you're thinking of is not that bad but I think the few of you I'm talking about you kind of already know that. I see this person falling. I think they have to be forced to fall into their own mind , heart and soul and deal with whatever has made them the negative way they are. Yikes.

Group three

This person seems to almost get away with things. I just know that's frustrating.either they seem to have a growing and positive future or outcome , or you do and they've tried or are trying to attack that. They could be or have tried to steal something in regards to your future. Or they just tried to knock you down so you'd be guaranteed to lose. I think they are or are going to end up seeing who they're dealing with. You guys almost are coming off to me like statues . In a good way! . Like, unfazed. At least deep down you're unharmed. And standing strong in your power. Like maybe you just move on and your cool but to them it's like they have to face you. This could also be them having to face some power, some thing, situation, or even a fucking entity. This person is power hungry and to have to face something or someone that is clearly more powerful than them is seemingly horrifying , to them . I don't even think you guys perceive yourself or realize anybody else could the way they do or are about to. I'm getting a lot of white . Like all four cards about this are pretty much all white. It's kind of like, how are you untainted ,unfazed, but the reason they are the way they are is because something similar destroyed them right. So they just do that to other people. You're clearly stronger than them because you overcame it and are powerful after doing so, like they were not strong enough to do. It's kind of like this person saw a ghost. For some of you this could be a guide of yours doing this to them if not you, or even then being intimidated by a judge or official of some sort . Something. But they are or will be scared. I'm telling you. This could be multiple maybe you and your guide or your guide and a police officer or you and a judge. I don't know. They may try to or have started to go on with their life after doing the same wicked shit they've done but they seem like eventually , they've been walking in a forest right, and they've continuously tripped on things as a warning. Then I see them eventually falling into a bottomless pit. Sooo . Yikessss

Group four

This person either left you hanging somehow, or ended something. Or left you hanging and you had to do something by yourself. Something like this ok. I don't think they helped or are helping as much as they could or did. This could be some heartbreak for you because you might have had a lot of wishful thinking about this person. Maybe you imagined things going or becoming very good and positive with them. Maybe you went through hard times and in that they eventually just left or opted out somehow or didn't do enough to help you right and meanwhile you were thinking how good things will be when they get better or something like that. Maybe this person also led you on somehow. Overall you were let down by this person or people right. Whatever ending or something bad that happened to you is going to either effect them or something very similar will happen to them .looks like currently or in the past they've had people they can turn to. Maybe just friends to help them out. They were or are confident they can do no wrong and they can live their lives however they want with no consequences or regard for how they make other people feel. This person might end up with a kid or maybe they have one or someone they know does or will. Or maybe they left you with a kid.i can't even really pick up on this person's consciousness. Like I'm sort of confused. If they are extremely undeveloped or what. Maybe they dont really experience much as in they don't have much of an inner world. I'm thinking about someone going under amnesia. I don't really fully know what's going on here in all honesty but you live and you learn, I guess. Life is a short trip so take it easy, and do take care of yourself. My best guess is that this person actually sold their souls but that's not for every single person here.

#free tarot readings #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot reading #pick a card #tarot pac #intuitive messages #free intuitive readings #tarot pick a card #pick a photo #pick a gif

[grimmed]

oc + acc promotion!!

Name: Taeus

Age: Unknown (adult, presumably in their 20s)

Species: Buzzinga

Hobbies: Journaling, exploring, collecting, playing music!!

Likes: Anything spicy or sweet, warmth, being around others.

Dislikes: The dark, cold, silence.

Positive personality traits: Optimistic, helpful, kind

Negative traits: Jealous, cowardice, quick to assume

--- more info below (long texts + link ahead) ---

Biography:

Taeus is one of the few(?) Buzzingas still out there, Taeus loves to approach people and make friends! Their open approach and easy going attitude really makes them seem more like a normal monster than a myth, especially considering how active they are with other monsters from other islands.

they're quick to get onto people's good side, though ignorance truly is a killer for them. They try their best to see the good in everyone, and treats everyone the same, because they don't see a reason to be mean to others. Even when around rude monsters, they try their best to be respectful and smile through it all, they treat everyone the same in hopes they'll be treated with the respect they give others, but it doesn't always happen. They don't like being vulnerable around people, they want to be seen as someone who is reliable and strong, so when they're upset, their instinct is to run away as fast as possible, they believe that if monsters see them cracking under pressure, they will see them differently.

They wish to find someone they can trust opening up to, but they just don't know where to start. While they are happy for and admire it, they are jealous of others who are able to express their emotions freely without worrying what others think. They are easy to scare, they are absolutely horrible with anything scary (even though a lot of monster tales are intended to freak monsters out, and that just so happens to be something they're very interested in) or anything sudden, they always plan ahead before setting out to adventure, the idea of getting lost in a place where they can't access their abilities freaks them out too much (and yes, this has happened once.)

They are often quick to assume given by appearance, voice, and the like. They are not explicit about this unless they feel nervous, and try to be as open minded as possible when it comes to communicating. They're pretty good at this, and their initial beliefs usually go away after a few minutes, but sometimes they'll slip out their thoughts/former thoughts without thinking.

Abilities:

- Musical abilities, well thats a given. They aren't super confident in their musical ability, but they're moreso focused on having fun then anything else.

- They can create portals to other islands.

- They can fly! (...Obviously)

- Their music *can* have a soothing effect if played right.

Fun facts:

- Taeus is one of the youngest Buzzingas to exist right now

- Taeus loves to collect flowers! They will often press them in to keep in their journals

- (headcanon) Buzzingas cannot survive in cold climates, and do very poorly when somewhere that is cold. Taeus is not an exception, let's just say their visit to cold island wasn't the most fun.

- They love to sing, but don't do it often.

- Their favorite color is teal

- They like to read in their spare time, they usually read what monsters recommend them.

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thats my rp acct! yes i had to make a new one because i realized making a side blog doesnt make it an actual account oops 😭 but it exists so feel free to follow and everything!!!! thank you for reading :)

#my singing monsters #msm #buzzinga #my singing monsters oc #oc #original character #art #drawing #grims art #account promotion yayyy

[hassedah]

Hey, could you write a hc where the s/o makes (forces) the boys play 'Mr. Hopp's Playhouse 2'?

(Sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my native language)

The boys play "Mr.Hopp's Playhouse 2" :

Hi! I hope you are well! ^^

I've never played this game. So I wrote this after watching some spoilers and let's plays. (There are a lot of spoilers about the game.) I hope you enjoy it! ^^

Take care of yourself and have a nice day! ^^

Vladimir :

There's not much reason for him to play a video game… let alone a horror video game. He's only played a few games of Mario Kart and Professor Layton to please Ivan . But you were so insistent and your smiles to convince him were so hard to ignore… He didn't have the courage to refuse you for long. You seem to like this game after all, and he likes to please you.

He doesn't really like this game. For one thing, he doesn't understand little Esther. If his parents had ever given him a cuddly toy like Mr Hopp, he would have been horrified for weeks. It's not for nothing that he broke all his little sister's dolls when he was still a child. That rabbit just looks terrifying, what child would want a cuddly toy like that, seriously?

He doesn't really play and certainly not without you next to him. In fact, he can't get past the 2nd chapter. He keeps getting stopped by the Matrons. He closed his eyes when he saw Mr Stripes appear and hid his face in his hands when he saw Miss Bo.

You end up doing the game for him as he gets caught for the umpteenth time by the Matrons. It seems too complicated for him anyway.

As long as you're playing he'll complain about just about everything: "Why are there spikes in the ground?" "Why are giant hands trying to grab your character?" "Why is this rabbit so scary? Why is Isabelle so mean?" "Why is this entity trying so hard to kill you?" "Couldn't you suggest a gentler, cuter game?" He'd like to stop closing his eyes and hiding behind you every time something scary appears.

If you were planning to play this game to spend your time reassuring him, you've succeeded. He won't complain about it though, after all, it's quite nice to see the attention you give him to reassure him, almost as much as when you watch horror films together. He might agree to play another horror video game with you, as long as you continue to reassure him.

Béliath :

He doesn't play many video games because there aren't many that he likes, although he does sometimes play when he wants to please Ivan or Ethan. So of course he wasn't going to say no when you asked him if he wanted to play Mr Hopps playhouse 2. Horror video games aren't his favourite games, although he hasn't told anyone in the manor, he loves playing Otome games and Visual novels. However, he's happy to oblige you by trying out the game you've suggested.

It takes him a while to get the hang of it, but once he does, he finds it quite fun. He's really into the story of little Esther, and he's not very fond of Molly. "She called me crazy! Esther and I are not crazy! That girl is horrible, I don't like her". He doesn't like the design of the toys. A cuddly toy is supposed to be reassuring and cute, he'd never give a child a stuffed rabbit like that!

He plays pretty well for someone who's not used to video games. He gets through the first few levels easily and listens to your advice on how to avoid matrons, spades, Mr Hopps and the rest. It's easy for both of you to get to the end of the game, and he's pretty proud of himself for getting there without asking you to do certain levels for him.

He deeply hates the ending. "Why would she do that? Esther would never do that, it's not fair." He asks you to write, create, direct, draw another ending, anything as long as it doesn't go like that.

He really enjoyed this time with you and is ready to play another horror game with you, as long as it has a more positive ending.

Ivan :

Ivan plays a lot of video games, and enjoys them all to the extent that he keeps a laptop hidden away in his bedroom so that he can continue to play them despite Vladimir's ban. He likes the classic games, like Mario, Zelda or Sims, but he's never against a bit of novelty, even if he doesn't have as many opportunities to discover new games as he did when he was human. He sometimes plays the Otome game that Beliath introduces to him, even though he finds it much harder than the incubus to assume. He knew the game by name and had already played Mr.Hopps playhouse, but he'd never played the sequel. So when you offered to play it with him, he immediately accepted.

He's such an excellent player that it's almost frustrating to watch him succeed at everything he does. He's quickly attached himself to little Esther and he really wants to save everyone in the orphanage. It's important to him, he knows he won't be able to sleep until he's finished the whole game. He's always talking to you about the previous game and if you've played it too, he's even happier to be able to share his enthusiasm with you.

He's shocked by the ending when he spots Ruby. He immediately turns to you and exclaims "MC! It's so unfair! This game never really ends well! Poor Ruby! This can't be happening! I can't accept this!" He soon gets over it, though, and continues to tell you about the story with enthusiasm. He has other game ideas to play with you, like Five nights at Freddy's.

A few days later, he comes back to you in an even better mood to exclaim. "MC, they've created a Mr.Hopps playhouse 3. Do you want to come and play with me? I'll get some popcorn and we'll spend the night playing!"

Aaron :

Aaron is not a video game player. He rarely plays them, and only DS games when Ivan comes to see him to play Mario Kart. So he agrees to play this game just to please you and because you seem to like it so much. He likes a bit of horror video games, but they're not his favourites and he'd much rather play an RPG.

It takes a little time for him to understand how the game works and to remember which keys to press, but once he does he's a pretty good player. He'll need a bit of practice to get through the more difficult levels, but with your help to get hints and tips he'll get there quickly.

He sometimes makes a few comments: "Why does Esther leave her room in the middle of the night? That rabbit looks far too dangerous for her alone, she should find an adult!" He doesn't really understand why the adults at the orphanage don't react when a little girl complains about hearing voices, seeing three newly-bought stuffed animals moving around and two children disappearing. Sure, it's a horror video game, but… is it normal for adults to be so stupid?

He doesn't like the ending: "It can't end like this, MC! Poor Esther, poor Ruby. We should be able to do something to help her, I can't let the bad guy win. It's far too sad Rubis doesn't deserve this and his grandmother fought too well, it's unfair!"

When he finds out about the 3, he insists on playing it with you. He has to take revenge on Mr Hopps, he can't leave a little girl in this situation. He's going to defeat this creature at all costs, and Esther and Rubis will finally be safe.

Raphaël :

He doesn't really like video games, and there are very few video games adapted to his blindness, so he hardly ever plays them. However, he does enjoy watching other people play, especially if they're playing an RPG, otome game or visual novel. In fact, he'd really like otome games and visual novels to be adapted for him. You didn't have much trouble convincing him to stay with you while you played.

He's constantly worried about little Esther and her friends. He doesn't like your description of the cuddly toys, "Cuddly toys are supposed to be cute, why do they look scary? "Why would adults give scary stuffed animals to children?!" "Wait MC! Why are you saying that there are spikes and axes hanging from the ceiling in this orphanage?! What kind of orphanage has that kind of thing?"

He quickly becomes totally absorbed in the game's story. Sure, it looks scary, but it's still not as scary as Aaron's horror stories. But that doesn't stop him worrying whenever you cross paths with Miss Bo, Mr Hopps or Mr Stripes. "Run and hide MC, don't let him get little Esther!"

He is genuinely upset by the ending. "What do you mean MC, what do you mean Esther is giving Mr Hoops to her granddaughter?" It's far too horrible for him, it even makes him want to weep over the fate of poor little Ruby. He spends the rest of the night with a sad look on his face until you tell him that you can make things right with the correct ending of the 3rd game. Of course he wants you to play it - you've got to save little Ruby!

Ethan :

Ethan really enjoys video games, as long as they're not war games. He's a very good gamer, although he has a slight tendency to get annoyed when he can't get past a certain level. He loves all the Ace Attorney games, but also Professor Layton, although a little less so. He also really likes horror video games, as long as they're not gory horror. He sees enough blood in his daily life not to want to see any when he's trying to relax. When you ask him to try this game he immediately accepts. Firstly, you seem to enjoy playing a game with him and secondly, he doesn't know the game and is happy to discover it with you.

He likes this game, it won't be his favourite, but it's fairly easy to play once you get used to it, and the story is very interesting for him, who likes mysteries. He wants to understand what's going on as quickly as possible. He quickly realises that Dee isn't who she says she is and he's angry that he can't allow Esther to find out. "MC, she's stupid! You can tell Dee's one of the bad guys! What's the point of playing if I can't kill her now!"

The end really pisses him off. "It's not fair MC! I did everything I could to protect Esther. He shouldn't win. Why is she giving Mr Hopps to her granddaughter? The story can't end like this!" He ruminates on the ending for several days until he comes up with the rest of the game.

He'll immediately come and find you to play with him. He's not going to let it end that way anyway. There's no way a simple video game villain can defeat him.

Neil :

Neil doesn't excel at video games and, as with anything he doesn't master perfectly, that really annoys him. He likes RPGs and he loves management games - the more complicated the management, the better. He won't hesitate to spend hours on them until he knows the game by heart. When you asked him to play this game, he was initially reluctant to refuse. It's not at all the kind of game he likes, but after some thought he accepted. It's a game that you seem to enjoy and if that's all you want to do to make yourself happy, then he sees no reason to refuse you.

He has a bit of trouble with the keys, which forces him to start each level several times, especially at the beginning. Once he's used to it, he loses less often, to his great satisfaction. The only problem is that Neil is not really a calm player, although he is never angry with Esther, but always with all the other characters.

"Who does Molly think she is? Esther is so much better than her!" "What is it with you humans, always locking people in cellars?! It's barbaric, stop doing that." "I don't like that Beverley. Esther should leave that orphanage and go and live somewhere else!" "Are they all stupid in that orphanage?! Esther is a busy girl, she shouldn't be wasting her time saving them, my little is far too nice to them, she deserves better!"

He's really angry about the end, how dare the villain attack his little Esther again! He complains to you for a long time about this, things shouldn't be like this, he refuses. But he calms down when you tell him that the 3rd game has a more positive ending. And of course he wants to play it, he can't leave Esther in this situation, she needs his help.

Léandra :

Léandra rarely plays video games, not that she doesn't like them. It's just that it's not her favourite thing to do, but she loves fighting games and horror games, and she's often asked you to play them with her. So when you came to see her to ask her to play this game, you didn't have to be very insistent to convince her.

She's a pretty good player. She easily understands how the game works and doesn't have much trouble adapting to it to win. She also catches on to the story very quickly. Which she wouldn't have thought possible at first and her instincts are pretty good. "MC… I'm not feeling Dee at all. She's one of the evil ones, isn't she?" "MC… I don't think it's possible to win against them… They're too strong for the little one and there are too many of them. Esther's going to lose."

She really likes the ending. It's a bit depressing to see that you can't do anything about the villain and that he'll always find a way to get the better of you somehow. It's not what you expect from a video game and that's exactly why she likes it. It's reassuring for her, a succubus brought up on that principle. She knows that no matter what she does she'll never win against her mother, and seeing Esther lose confirms that principle for her.

When you suggest playing 3, she's frankly reluctant. Admittedly, the ending is more positive, but doesn't it spoil everything to win against them in the end? Mr Hopps and the entity will eventually come back anyway, and if it's not Esther or Ruby it'll be another child, so what's the point in trying to defeat them?

Farah :

She rarely plays video games, as she doesn't have the time to do so because she has to manage her pack and, what's more, electricity isn't the most common thing to find in the middle of the forest. She's never against the idea of playing video games, though, and she's already tried her hand at a few management games, often encouraged by younger members of the pack. She's already played Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons, and she has to admit that they're games that she's really enjoyed; if it were easier for her to own a games console, she'd probably play them more often.

When you offered her the chance to play Mr.Hopps playhouse 2 with you, she immediately accepted. She's not very good at it, though, and while she managed to get through the first few chapters without asking you for help, she needs your help to finish the game from chapter 5 onwards. She also takes the plight of the children in the orphanage very much to heart. "The poor children must be frightened and Esther must be terrified, poor thing. I would be if I were her, it's horrible that the adults don't protect them, me at least I had my brother…"

She finds the ending really sad, "Why do things have to end like this? Ruby is just a child and her grandmother would never have wanted to hurt her… It's not fair on them."

She's quite reassured when you tell her that the end of 3 is different, and she hopes she'll soon get the chance to play it with you to change things. After all, she doesn't like to fail, and she doesn't feel good about leaving Esther and Ruby in this situation.

#moonlight lovers #moonlight lovers vladimir #moonlight lovers béliath #moonlight lovers ivan #moonlight lovers aaron #moonlight lovers raphael #moonlight lovers ethan #moonlight lovers neil #moonlight lovers léandra #moonlight lovers farah

[honeysuckle-venom]

Warnings for: discussion of dieting/intentional weight loss, medical issues, eating disorders, and related topics

Here's the thing. On a general level, I don't believe in dieting. I think it's bad for you, the science shows it almost never works, it makes people miserable, it usually comes from an unhealthy place, and it encourages unhealthy behaviors. And. At the same time. I have a rare disease that could potentially have very dangerous complications if untreated/if it progresses, and it seems to be progressing. And genuine research has shown a significant correlation between developing hepatic adenomas/having more adenomas/having more growth in your adenomas and "obesity." Now, there are links between lots of things and "obesity" and often not nearly enough research is done into WHY and whether any correlations actually have anything to do with causality. And I don't fully know why obesity and hepatic adenomas are correlated, I have to talk to my hepatologist about it, though from what my dad found in his research he suspects it's a combination of adipose tissue producing more estrogen and potentially other metabolic effects (more research/answers are needed there). If someone says "being fat makes you unhealthy in x way" I always want to know the underlying mechanisms there, because it's never that simple. But the point is that it does look like, in this case, hepatic adenomas and obesity are at the very least significantly correlated.

There are not a lot of treatment options for hepatic adenomas. The first step is always going off any hormonal birth control, which I did a year ago. If things shrink, great, you can keep monitoring and hope that things stay shrinking or at least stable and probably leave it at that. If, however, things continue to grow, well that becomes concerning, because the larger the tumors are the more risk there is of them rupturing or becoming cancerous. If your tumors are larger than 5cm, like mine, and not shrinking or goodness forbid growing then just continuing to monitor may not be a safe long term solution. So you'll have to look at other treatment options, none of which are great.

The next step in trying to get them to shrink after stopping birth control is almost always weight loss. Because the only other options are a) transarterial embolization (a very gross procedure I looked up that I'm terrified of having to do in which blood flow is cut off from the tumors), b) ablation (which isn't recommended for tumors larger than 3cm which mine are), c) liver resection (which I'm pretty sure I'm not a candidate for because I have too many large tumors in too many places, and anyway is a very scary and risky surgery with months of recovery) and finally d) liver transplant (an ever scarier and riskier surgery with significant risks of mortality). And as much as I don't believe in or want to diet, the other options are worse.

Which means that it is very likely that in a few weeks, when my therapist gets back from vacation, I will be seriously attempting to lose weight for the first time since I was an anorexic teenager. And I don't want to, I so don't want to, but I suspect it's going to be the best choice out of a group of bad ones. But I'm so scared. I'm already having crazy relapse thoughts, I'm already struggling with horrible OCD food research spirals and calorie counting and thinking about food for hours and hours and hours each day. And it sucks. My hope is that it will actually get slightly better if I genuinely try to lose weight with my therapist and use a detailed meal plan, because then it will at least be set in stone and not just me panicking indecisively about everything. It'll be predetermined in therapy, so I won't have to spend hours thinking about it on my own. But I don't know, it still feels very risky for my mental health. I know how easy it is for me to obsessively count and calculate everything and how much that sucks and how much I hate it even as I can't stop myself. And I'm just. I'm just so stressed about the whole thing. Also like, it almost feels like it would be a slight betrayal of my values, because I really don't believe in dieting and I hate diet culture and love the anti-diet and fat acceptance movements. But at the same time I wouldn't be doing it to look better or whatever, I'd be doing it with the very specific goal of hopefully shrinking my tumors. And if I do go down this path and it turns out that the main reason obesity and hepatic adenomas are correlated is indeed higher estrogen in fatty tissue I'm going to talk to my doctors about monitoring my estrogen levels, so that I'm looking at the underlying cause and trying to focus on that number instead of just the number on the scale. But idk. This whole thing just. It just sucks and it's scary and I'm in awful OCD hell and I really wish my therapist wasn't away for the next week and a half.

#text post #my post #i'm stressed out y'all #i have a hepatologist appointment though! January 29th #which is still a month away and that sucks but it's better than it could be #hopefully this hepatologist will be nicer than the last one

[yuikomorii]

I'm saying this on anon because last time I shared my opinion, other people (not you) attacked me. I am a huge fan of this blog, but I've been noticing something I'd like to share.

I agree that he isn't the worst in terms of meanness or abuse, but that still doesn't change the fact he is abusive to Yui. You do say this too, but it also comes off as disingenuous at times? It's briefly mentioned he does bad things (not really ever discussed what horrible things he's done), and then it's followed up by "well, at least he's not as bad as "X" person" or is followed up with a list of his "good" traits.

I understand you just want to promote your favorite DL boy, but the way its done feels very biased to the point where it's not consistent or sometimes hypocritical. For example, I found it a bit concerning with the criticisms of Laito as a child, as he was literally being sexually abused. Is it really fair to label Ayato's abuse as one to be more sympathetic towards, when they both were horrible? I guess that's the impression I was getting.

Once again, it's 100% okay to like Ayato as a character, and I do too, but the way your "facts" about Ayato and how the other characters are worse than him in terms of abuse, support, etc don't really seem all that consistent or fairly presented. You aren't obligated to write about the abusiveness of Ayato, but you do have a very large audience, and I know a few others feel the same but have been scared to comment.

// While I understand your point of view, I'd like to point out that you misunderstood me and almost everything I said in this post.

I literally always mention that Ayato is an abusive character, which must not be excused, and the reason I usually compare him to others is because he's seen as such a horrible person in this fandom while he's more on the nice side; he was even confirmed in a book as the friendliest and most approachable character. Abuse is still abuse, but there are different types of abuse. Ayato is a misunderstood and mischaracterized character who is always portrayed as the worst, despite being the poor excuse of a bad guy. I can't believe some people in HDB found his actions unforgivable while justifying and thirsting over characters who abused Yui in far worse ways.

His form of abuse is basically… pranks. He’s a DO-S but not in the way of harming people, but scaring them. Darts scene? He intended to scare her by piercing her heart with the darts, but instead kissed her. School scene? He drank her blood and pretended leaving Yui there but 5 seconds later he picked her up. Underground scene? He put handcuffs on her then pretended to leave but Yui kept screaming for him so he came out of hiding and let her go. Mysterious package scene? He gave her a mini skirt so as to make fun of her. The only time when he was violent (not counting bad endings since those are the “wrong” ones) was during the blood moon (when all vampires, as predators, get this desire to hunt and are more lustful), when he strangled her in one of the Maniac chapters. Normal HDB Ayato would never let Yui harm herself; he doesn’t get any satisfaction out of that, nor would he ever harm her in his routes (unless you count bites, lol, but he’s a vampire…). Even in Laito’s route, he helped Yui removing the handcuffs Laito had placed on her when she told him she wanted her hands to be cut off. Of course, nobody should ever allow such things in real life; it is bullying and toxic, and this should not be romanticized, but in a game about extremely sadistic monsters, he's definitely on the "not that bad" side. He never forced Yui to do anything scary, nor did he project his insecurities onto her or fill her with his own problems. And I know he called Yui "prey" in MB, which made her cry a lot, yet humans really are prey in their eyes. Still, Yui admits in the last ecstasy chapter that she was selfish for being too obsessed with Ayato's love rather than trying to understand him, and this was one of Yui's best developments because it demonstrated her learning from her mistakes. Ayato was also in the wrong; he should have tried to express his feelings rather than bottle them up, but I'm glad they both got together.

Side note: He is the Sakamaki who has insulted Yui the least (ik bare minimum). He called her flat (which everyone did) dumb and said her clothes lacked sex appeal, but he never made her feel insecure about her face. However, for some reason, he's always the one in headcanons who says things like "I don't like ugly women!" or stuff like that. One of the reasons I love Ayato is that he is the only one who genuinely used KIREI on her, and not only one time, which is something I will never stop talking about. This is so significant because in the majority of otome games, the love interests call the heroine “kawaii” and “kirei” is actually rarely used since it has a much bigger impact in Japan.

I may appear biased, but the thing is… Ayato is already a biased character by the company, and I'm not just saying that because he's always in the center of everything. He appears to be the favorite character of Rejet's most important employees, including Rejet's CEO (who also wrote some character songs and YB), Yamada-san (one of the route and CD drama writers + Young blood writer), and others. It's fine to express your displeasure with their bias toward him, but at the end of the day, we're just the players, and they're the creators, so there's nothing we can do. Also, Rejet confirmed all of the "horrible" things you mentioned:

1. When Ayato is accused of doing something bad, it isn't as sinister as you might think. It simply means causing mischief, or playing pranks on others, and this was demonstrated even on routes that were not his own. Still mean, but not horrifying.

2. It’s canon that all he did with the sacrificial brides was feed off them. Yes, they were innocent souls, but this official short story (translated by Koiiro on WP) explains the entire situation better. Basically, Yui explained that she has to eat meat even though she feels a bit bad for the animals killed in the process, but Ayato compares it to the sacrificial brides to cheer her up and explains that it's the circle of life. Vampires, after all, require blood to survive:

Ayato— “I don't feel sorry for those who are sacrificed."

Yui—"…eh?"

Ayato— "Because they're eaten by the great me. The weak can live within the strong, right? They should be grateful."

Yui— "Ayato-kun…"

Ayato— Titless looks surprised somehow. I look away from her, thinking that what just I said is an obvious thing.

Yui— "…thank you. You really are kind, Ayato-kun."

Ayato— For some reason, I hear Titless thanking me from behind.

Ayato— "Huh!? What do you mean?"

Yui— "…eh? I mean… at the very least, my blood isn't simply going to waste inside of you. When the thought crossed my mind, I just felt that way somehow…"

Ayato— Titless shyly smiles as she answers.

After hearing Yui's confession, Ayato goes into Tsundere mode, exclaiming, "It was about Takoyaki!" even though Yui knew very well he meant sacrificial brides.

No, @ DL fandom, he did not torture previous sacrificial brides as you might think. I know I'm probably one of the few DL fans who have access to a bunch of information about the franchise, but I'd really appreciate it if people would stop judging a character without knowing the facts.

Now, let's talk about Laito. I'm sorry, but I believe you completely missed the point of what I was trying to say. I never said Ayato's past was more worthy of sympathy than Laito's; I just said that both of them had it rough and that Laito shouldn't envy him for it, because Ayato's life wasn't perfect either.

As a person who got a pure 100% on my psychology exam, NEWSFLASH: Psychological, Neglect, Sexual and Physical abuse are the main types of abuse and they’re EQUALLY bad. Just because Laito was sexually abused doesn't mean Kanato, who was neglected, or Ayato, who was tortured and had many near-death experiences, had it better than him, and thinking that way is extremely insensitive. Worst past ≠ Saddest past. What makes Laito's past sadder than Ayato's is that Laito was severely impacted by it, whereas Ayato not so much. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love Laito, and I'm a Laito stan, but dismissing his brother’s trauma is still wrong. That is equivalent to saying:

Person A: I was beaten up everyday to the point that I almost died over and over.

Person B: But you will never understand the pain of being rap€d.

Abuse is not a competition; everyone reacts differently; some people heal faster than others; and one thing is certain: Ayato's, Laito's, or anyone else's trauma will never be an excuse for abusive behavior.

Oh and actually, everything I mentioned are 100% canon facts??? They aren’t sugarcoated in Ayato’s favor, he really is portrayed by Rejet as a hero. He even came in first place among all Rejet boys, from all of their games, when it came to protecting you/MC in a fight against a powerful enemy.

Ayato and Azusa are both the most helpful Diaboys in the franchise, so claiming that Ayato is less supportive than his brothers is a huge lie. Sure, he's not always supportive, but he's more than the other Sakamakis and unquestionably more heroic. I focus on his positive traits rather than his negative ones because he has more positive traits than negative ones, lol. Ayato has done far more good than bad, so he deserves to be reminded of those rather than his flaws.

I'm sorry you got hate for sharing your opinion; nobody deserves to be hated for something like that, but maybe think outside the box next time? Or perhaps try to better analyze the situation? I don't mean to come across as mean; I have nothing against this ask, and I appreciate that you enjoy my blog; it's just that some fans are extremely defensive of their favorite Diaboy to the point of being very irascible. ^^”

#admin #(aaah this is probably my longest post) #(but I can’t add -read more- idk why)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oooh songs for the yandere weasels? I got some suggestions! (I'm not trying to one up you spookifi, I like the idea of themes for these scary skrunks and I wanted to add onto your ask. I hope this doesn't come off that way)

'Leave me Alone' by Alexander Ryback, for Stupid. This song is purely in the POV of the stalkee, and conveys the exact feelings you'd have for a stalker that follows you everywhere, like Stu would. Not to mention the upbeat tone of the song fits his more upbeat character (compared to the other weasels).

🎵 You're scaring mom and dad, scaring off my girlfriend. You're waiting by my door early in the morning. I've told you many times, don't follow me at night! You're poisoning my life! Just tell me why!🎵

'Super Psycho Love' by Simon Curtis for Greasy. Technically not a yandere song, but the pure lust the singer feels, along with how insistent they are that you're gonna be with me does seem to match Greasy's tone. Even if he is more... Aware that Y/N doesn't want him.

🎵I know you want me too. I think you want me too. Please say you want me too. Because you're going to. Say that you want me every day that you want me every way that you need me, got me trippin' super psycho love!🎵

'Painkiller' by Three Days Grace for Wheezy. The singer acting as if they are what's good for the one they're singing for. But in actuality, they are the ones slowly killing Y/N. And they know it. (Not to mention the drug connotations with the song goes with Wheezy's addiction)

🎵You know you need a fix when you fall down. You know you need to find a way, to get you through another day. Let me be the one to numb you out. Let me be the one to hold you, never gonna let you get away.🎵

'Snow White Queen' by Evenescence for Psycho. Another song sung from the perspective of the stalkee. How they feel violated, and how they have to try to hide from this person who claims to know them, all the things they say to them (Psycho sharing all of his twisted dreams and fantasies), and how this person insist that they're 'theirs'. Not to mention the haunting tone I'd the music and lyrics go with Psycho's more horrifyingly unhinged nature.

🎵Stop light, lock the door, don't look back. Undress in the dark, and hide from you, all of you. You'll never know the way your words have haunted me. I can't believe you'd ask these things of me. You don't know me now or never!🎵

'An Unhealthy Obsession' by The Blake Robinson Synthetic for Smartass. The unhinged music and delusional lyrics go with how Smartass carries himself as 'better' than the others. Along with how he uses his sources to find out everything about Y/N.

🎵You just don't know it, but you love me and I love you the same. One day, we'll have a pretty wedding and I'll be your everything. You don't know it, but baby, I already got your heart. 🎵

(Also, since 'An Unhealthy Obsession' is a duet between two stalkers, this could be used for Greasy and Psycho when they're both after the same Y/N. Or any other combination of the weasels)

Well that's my thoughts on this. What do you guys think?

Oh I loveeeee these choices as well!! @spookiifi , what do you think of these ones?? ^^

I wanna join too now XD

Greasy:

I think you guys really hit the nail on the head with this one!! I cant think of anything as good right now! 😅😅😅

Psycho:

Fly On The Wall, Miley Cyrus

I just think the icky, buggy visuals and the insane stalker vibes are on point here.

Don't you wish that you could be a Fly on the wall? A creepy little, sneaky little Fly on the wall All my precious secrets, yeah You'd know them all

Smartass:

The Haunting, Set It Off

*So I struggled finding a song for him but when I listened to this one there was something very Smartass-y about it! 😅 I'm thinking this is how he would be if you managed to get free of and safe of him- bitter and horrible, and totally deluded into thinking that you're a crazy bitch/ he's the only one who could ever deal with/love you, and you will miss him.

Someday you may find that picture perfect guy And I'll chase my words with poison Until that day arrives, and swine take to the sky Fill your void with open thighs so

No one will love you like I did Will treat you like I did So go on, wear that scarlet letter No one will love you like I did Will touch you like I did So good luck finding something better

Stupid:

Tag, You're It, Melanie Martinez

*Okay so this one was gonna be for Greasy- but the more i listened to it, the less sexual it felt. More... obsessed. Just- gross, mindless, depraved, want. So,.. yeah 😅

Eenie, meenie, miny, mo Catch your lady by her toes If she screams, don't let her go Eenie, meenie, miny, mo Your mother said to pick the very best girl And I am

Wheezy:

Blood on a Rose, Everybody Loves an Outlaw

Very manipulative!

Your voice in my ear The world disappears So I'll fall again You can keep me right here

Russian Roulette, Rihanna

MY GOD this is him. Making you feel like you have a choice when he has the situation under his complete control. Even the fake kindness!

Say a prayer, to yourself He says, close your eyes, sometimes it helps And then I get, a scary thought That he's here, means he's never lost

#i had to update my fucked up playlist for this #(sorry. I did this right before bed time so my thoughts might be everywhere!) #also THANK YOU for introducing me to 'leave me alone'! I really like it! #kinda sounds like harper to me for some reason 😅😅😅😅

[thanatos-dahilias]

beginning of my horror story "You can't leave." PLEASEE LEAVE FEEDBACK LIKE WHAT YOU LIKED/DIDNT

He wants to leave, he really fucking does, but what other choice does he have? His life seems like it is and forever will be a sick and twisted version of Simon says. Simon says move away from everything you’ve ever known! So Ayzen does. Simon says you’re fine and just throwing a tantrum because you’re a big baby ! So Ayzen is. Simon says you can’t leave. So Ayzen listens.

—-

Simon has never necessarily been a horrible person named Simon, it has always been his parents, specifically his mother.

His mother whose corpse just spoke to him.

“You can’t leave..” she whispers, her voice is hoarse yet terrifying.

She’s always been terrifying.

It’s not like Ayzen expected his mother to still be scary from beyond the grave, which she very much was supposed to be in.

“What the absolute hell!?” he yells, backing away from her somehow moving, yet very obviously rotting corpse. Could he even call it that anymore? It surely looked like it, but that was his mother fucking talking. That is his very much dead mother lying on the floor of his bedroom.

“You can’t leave.” she says again, this time her voice is louder, and it echoes throughout his empty room. His room? It hasn’t been his room for a while.

She also hasn’t been his mother in quite a while.

Was she ever?

“I- I can leave! I always can!” His voice is shaky and unsure. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to scream at a dead person, but god is it satisfying.

“You can’t leave.” She repeats the three words like it’s an order. Her eyes open a slight bit, revealing a horrible green which begins to drip down her oddly angled chin.

Ayzen watches in horror as the liquid falls, drips, and begins to flow heavily from her eyes. It’s not the liquid that scares him.

It’s the fact that it’s coming from her.

It drips onto her stained clothing.

He sees the 3 opened holes in her chest all dripping the same liquid.

He turns to the carpeted corner next to him and hurls up anything he’s eaten within the past few days and it comes out a disgusting chunky orange goo. He watches in disgust as it sinks into the carpet, leaving a putrid smell.

He almost vomits again.

Not before he gets up and tries to run to the door.

“You can’t leave.” she mumbles, the door slamming shut as soon as she opened her mouth.

Youcan’tleaveyoucan’tleaveyoucan’tleave-

So Ayzen doesn’t.

—-

When he opens his eyes, the green is gone.

It’s all red.

More like brown?

Her skin is pale.

Her hair is matted.

Her eyes are shut.

“You can’t leave.” is the only thing he can hear as he crawls over to her.

“Mom?” his voice is small, quiet, it’s all he’s ever known.

“Mom? Mom please?” he puts his hand on her shoulder, only to retract it immediately from the cold from her skin. She’s gone.

“Mom! Mom, you can’t do this!” he grips both her shoulders this time, and doesn’t pull his hands away. Tears form in his eyes, everything becomes blurry.

“Mom..” he sobs, pulling her cold lifeless body into his arms again.

“Don’t leave. I’m sorry I was a bad son.” he can’t stop the tears from overflowing and falling into her hair.

“Mom, I love you.” he whispers tearfully, still clinging onto her.

“I’m sorry.” he says, for her or him, he can’t tell.

“I’m sorry.” he cries.

His throat hurts, his eyes hurt, everything fucking hurts.

“Mom. You can’t leave.”

“Mom please.”

She doesn’t listen.

—-

He can’t hear her heartbeat.

He can’t feel the comfort her hugs used to provide.

Everything’s cold.

Everything hurts.

“Mom. I’m so sorry.”

He sobs again. Again and again and again.

His stupid tears won’t bring her back.

He doesn’t know if he wants her back.

—-

Ayzen feels numb. He’s all cried out, even if he wanted to keep crying he couldn’t. His voice hurts a little, and he’s still laying with his mother’s now cold body. “You can’t leave” plays in his mind again.

Again.

And again.

And again.

She came back- she fucking came back after so long under the ground.

She came to see him- to see Ayzen only to die in his arms again.

He stands up, and shuts his eyes as he hears her head hit the carpeted ground.

“Goodnight Mom.” It hurts to say.

She deserves to rest.

He walks to the door, which seems to be cracked open- even though it was slammed shut earlier?

“You can’t leave” comes from behind him as he grabs the doorknob.

Ayzen turns around terrified, only to find his mother still unmoving.

“You can’t leave.” this time, it’s not coming from her.

#original story #original writing #original character #pleasee feedback #horror #blood #implied murder

[shall-we-go-far-away]

okay, okay ep. 5 & 6: holy shit that was one hell of a ride wasn't it? (maybe whoever is reading this also saw my panicked posts from wednesday, yes I was losing my mind)

I'll try to do this as structured as possible but I can't promise anything so prepare for it to be just as all over the place as wednesday's episodes.. get ready, buckle up I have a lot of things to say:

first and foremost: FUCK YOU TAEHYUNG!! I was trying to be nice last time giving him a second chance and all because yk, I thought maybe just because he was annoying once, doesn't mean he has to be all the time but fuck was I wrong.. is he genuinely so stupid that he doesn't realize how his words affect jaewon or does he just straight up choose to ignore it?? or is it simply the mixture of both because wtf dude?? this guy is so blinded by his jealousy it's crazy like bro, how about you try and make it less obvious?? and considering how angry and uncomfortable he makes me (and jaewon) I was sooo glad jihyun and aeri were there and so happy to see they quickly picked up on how jaewon reacted and then decided to team up against taehyung (rightfully so)

especially jihyun (my cute little bean) was so attentive the entire time he really took one look at jaewon and immediately recognized something was off.. and because he was watching him so closely his reaction to jaewon slamming his hand on the table came almost naturally

moving on to aeri, I still think she's a bit much but that's probably because I'm introverted as fuck and she's clearly not.. I do really like her and jihyun's dynamic and loved their little class-skipping-shopping-sequence like you go besties!!

back to the junior-senior get together: that cut to jaewon being absolutely wasted was kinda scary and really shows how much he's struggling with everything and that he doesn't know how to properly cope with it.. and this little part of dialogue really stuck with me so once again props to jihyun for this simple yet very deep response

"you're not acting like yourself."

"hey, what is 'acting like myself'?"

"that's up to you."

I just feel like jaewon never heard something like this, he always had to fit into this box that the people around him created for him so someone saying who you are is up to you is complete news to him

harsh cut to jaewon waking up and the flashback with his brother: that shit hurt!! for some reason I expected his brother to be closer to him age wise (not that this would make him dying any less horrible) but when I saw jaewon with this little boy that just shattered me and jaewon just sitting there sobbing and desperately trying to put the camera back together was so painful to watch

skip to the beginning of episode 6: the scene of them in the car was also kinda hard to watch seeing jaewon so out of it like he wasn't even fully there (a quick round of applause for lim jisub who portrays this haunted look very well) apart from that I really liked that even though jaewon didn't answer jihyun's question he didn't let go and kept asking until eventually he gets an answer from jaewon

and now we're at a point where things started to get a little confusing for me:

while watching I felt like something was off, I couldn't pinpoint what it was (most of the time my brain has all the pieces of information but I can't put them together) but the episode felt different and then I saw a post on here (I tried not to read too much because I wanted most of this post to be my own impression) that said we might be seeing everything from jaewon's blurry, medication induced view which is why some things don't seem to add up and I think that's true or at least somewhat close to what was happening

I was actually debating which route to go with because so many possibilities about what was actually happening in ep. 6 came to my mind at first I actually thought jaewon might've overdosed in the car and ep. 6 didn't happen at all but were a hallucination or nightmare (what made me think that was the weirdly bright lighting and everything looking kinda blurry which always was an indicator of a dream or something unreal happening in any sort of media I've ever seen) but I don't think so anymore I would actually go with what I mentioned above and this blurry look comes from jaewon's medication

OOOR they chose this lighting to show how this entire trips feels like a dream because it's only jaewon and jihyun, completely separated from other people and far from their actual lives so of course that feels somewhat dream like

what I'm trying to say is: I don't think the entire episode was fake

I think making it all fake would be a waste of an episode and judging from the rest of the show so far it doesn't really seem like something the creators would do.. I think?? (maybe that's why I want some of the theories here to be true so bad because I don't want this episode to be wasted as a dream or whatever)

I would also agree with others that jihyun is probably fine, maybe a little shaken and scared but not physically hurt.. I think we see the accident happen from jaewon's pov and he's imagining it way worse than it is

nonetheless that shit scared me, how the entire mood switched and went so dark all of a sudden and then jaewon screaming jihyun's name.. I think the worst part were the silent credits and damn, that silence was loud.. let's just say, I cried..

alright, I think that's it.. I kind of lost focus in the end so idk if I actually said everything I wanted to but I think I covered most of it

#I'm a wreck #a hoe for this show #god damn it #it makes me go insane #but for some reason I feel like the wait for Wednesday won't be as long as before #maybe because I'm still in shock #I only know that we're probably gonna deal with a lot of heartbreak next week #buckle up it's only gonna get worse #bl drama #korean bl #the eighth sense #jaewon x jihyun

[ina-nis]

I cried a lot in therapy the other day because, apparently, things are finally working.

It just seems a little conflicting because... it doesn't feel like it. For example, when I was faced with a major trigger of mine and I didn't feel aggravated or self-destructive... I didn't feel much of anything, as if my feelings were numb or dampened. But the fact that I did not feel all those "bad" and familiar feelings, probably meant avoidance was not at play, and it was actually acceptance.

In the end, I'll probably not become this embittered and horrible person I fear I'll become, on the contrary, it seems like I'll become a very detached being - which was something I always tried to combat because it always felt like avoidance... the key difference here is that the "bad" feelings wouldn't even show up anymore, thus representing an actual change within myself, and an actual form of acceptance, I guess.

Well, the catch here is that the "bad" feelings won't show up, nor will the "good" ones. In the triggering situation, I acted more like a mirror for the other person (much like how therapists do! And it's no wonder my own therapists have told me I would make a good therapist myself ^^;), reflecting their own joy and happiness back to them, as if it were my own, and then being upset with myself later for being unable to feel truly happy for them.

The reason is probably because a trigger is still a trigger, even if the negative symptoms are not showing up, it doesn't mean it'll suddenly be a normal occurrence to me, and I can just act as if nothing happened or as if there was nothing wrong... there are many things going wrong and, as I've been saying over and over and over again, even with the absence of unpleasant experiences, they do not make up for the absence of positive ones. Those triggers will likely remain as triggers, for as long as I'm not able to actually work through them with positive reinforcement. But that's fine, I guess.

It's the point of acceptance, too. Getting through a helpless situation with as less damage as you can. It can't solve it, nor can it change things. It's just another tool to cope.

This is not how I wanted thing to turn out like, but it's probably the best I can do for now.

Hopefully, when I do have this acceptance piece as second nature, it will help me actually thrive and enjoy all other aspects of my life, that I have been unable to, due to the pain loneliness causes me.

The pain will still be here, obviously, it's just a matter of time and continuous effort to have this pain become something secondary, and I'll actually have space in myself for literally anything else. I'm sure I'll be able to do it. I'm in the right path and the treatment is, indeed, working. I guess it just feels a little bit scary because of the unknown, all those feelings and experiences being unfamiliar, but I'll get used to it, too, I'm sure.

I have given up some things, and I have gained several other things in return. Overall, I want to believe the sum of everything will be positive and I'll be able to have a good life and a good future, regardless of having the relationships I need or not.

I want to believe one day I'll be able to look back and think it was worth it.

I can't predict the future but if my own life up until now is any indication of upcoming trends, I'll probably remain alone.

I'll probably nurture close relationships with people that ultimately frustrate me because the romantic love I seek is not reciprocated.

I'll probably keep those platonic connections despite my frustration because I value those relationships and people, more than I value my own pain (because I know burning bridges over not getting what I want will truly keep me isolated).

I'll probably remain alone.

It'll probably be a pain I'll carry for the rest of my life.

I'll probably always be triggered by seeing partnered people and I'll probably walk away from friendships with people that prioritize their own romantic life, for my own sake and as a way to maintain my sanity.

I'll probably keep on yearning and hoping, too, knowing that it doesn't have to mean anything. I don't have to expend energy or time into hopeless things, so I won't do that.

I'll probably have this deep sorrow looming over me, and that's alright. I can still have a good life and a good future.

#loneliness #romantic love #inanis post

[timeoverload]

I'm not posting any music today either, I'm sorry. I don't even feel like listening to music right now because I'm getting a headache. I am just in the worst mood and horribly overstimulated. I had an awful day and I feel like I'm dying right now. It was so busy. I am in a lot of pain and I need quiet time I think.

I feel like I'm not capable of having a discussion without getting frustrated because I can't find the words to explain what I'm thinking. I seem to only be able to get my points across through writing and I hate it so much. I don't like being put on the spot in those situations. I really hate being autistic sometimes. I can type an essay without any problems but I struggle to have difficult conversations. I feel like nothing I say matters or will change anything. I should just keep my mouth shut from now on and pretend like I agree with everything so I don't have to debate anything anymore because I'm not good at that. It stresses me out. I feel like I'm wrong about everything all the time and I shouldn't feel the way I do. I guess I'm not capable of doing my own research either. I'm not going to rant about politics right now even though I want to.

I'm tired of hearing about all of the bad things going on in the world constantly. I wish I could make it all go away. It's overwhelming because I don't know what to do about any of it other than vote and be kind to others. It's not that I don't care about the bad things that are happening but I feel like I'm already drowning in bad news. It's getting to be too much for me to handle. My life is already miserable enough and I really could use some good news. All the negativity is bringing me down. The world is so scary and I wish I could escape it sometimes.

I'm sorry for being rude. I know you are reading this. I just wish you could see the world through my eyes because I feel like you don't understand me sometimes. I want to be better at communicating but I don't know how because I just shut down. I don't like fighting. I hope you aren't mad at me now. I will talk to you about it later when I'm not so wound up.

I really hope that tomorrow is better. I hate feeling like this. I'm not in the best state of mind at the moment. I need a hug. I am just going to go to bed early I think. I am sorry for being the way I am. I will try to be better.

I hope everyone else has a wonderful evening and a good day tomorrow.

💖💖💖

#personal