#I can't ask bc I don't wanna stress her parents out

[ourstoatmeansdeath]

I am so appreciative of the way Dimension 20 explores all the ways people can have bad parents. They show a lot of them and they explicitly call out when the parents are shitty. This post is mostly about episode 3 of FHJY and the AP.

Like in "Not All Who Wanda Are Lost," Kristen sees her estranged parents for the first time in a long time, and everyone acknowledges how hard and difficult it is! It's also eerie how good Brennan is at playing the different flavors of abusive parents. Like the "I don't wanna know" from Kristen's mom as Kristen tries to tell her about how Kristen is doing well living in a haunted house now. (Right after Kristen's mom explicitly asked how Kristen is doing!) Or how the Intrepid Heroes all seem to know that eldest daughter pressure, and Ally and Brennan both talk about how Bucky is under more stress now that the oldest daughter shield isn't around anymore. (I think Siobhan mentioned "this is my emotional support eldest daughter" in a Burrow's End Adventuring Party.)

And Adaine's dad wasn't just shitty bc he was going to kill her and Aelywn. He was also shitty for all the ways he abused them both the whole time. Even before Sophomore Year, the Abernants were explicitly called bad parents. In the "I Wanda'd In" Adventuring Party the Intrepid Heroes even discuss how it's complicated when you have shitty abusive parents but they cover the bills. No one said that maybe Adaine should have thought about the money before killing her dad, or in any way implied that the abuse would have been worth the financial support. They acknowledged the nuance of the situation. And how it leaves Adaine especially unprepared because she truly has never talked about finances. That conversation strikes the very specific kind of wistfulness that you have when you leave a bad situation, but some parts of the bad situation were easy in a way your life isn't easy anymore.

I have a lot more feelings about this that I can't turn into words quite yet. I'm still thinking on it. But it means so much to me.

#dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high junior year spoilers #adaine abernant #adaine o'shaughnessey #fantasy high sophomore year spoilers #not all who wanda are lost #i wanda'd in #dropout #kristen applebees #intrepid heroes #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #siobhan thompson #eldest daughter #fantasy high #fantasy high meta

[psychicreadsgirl]

hii i came here for ur gameee, ive reblogged and liked you post :>

i'm Y, she/her, and i wanna ask what would a relationship be like between Gayle and i? i'm hoping if you would add a few lines regarding if there's hope between her and i in terms of a romantic connection :>, if not that's okay too!

she's my acquaintance, we aren't really that close but we do interact sometimes, i find her really pretty and i like her personality a lot! if everything goes well, im planning to confess if i am 100% sure i like her!

thank you for ur time and energy, blessed be. 🥰🩷

Hi!

I won't say whether there'd be hope for a romantic connection because that could influence your decision as to whether to confess to her.

If you two did get into a romantic relationship, G would be more passive and would be more evasive in terms of her emotions/affection. I think she'd have trouble expressing physical affection in public especially. She is rather shy about these things and she'd feel guilty about these things too. I get the feeling she grew up with at least 1 conservative/strict parent that can be pretty domineering? G would be pretty closed off in terms of sharing her deep thoughts/worries/secrets; she's pretty guarded. She would be more of the type to not speak/give the silent treatment when she's mad or upset. She needs time to cool down or think before resolving issues between her and a partner. She's overall the type to run away from tough conflict/confrontations, so she can sometimes seem like a pushover or just decide to agree with whatever people say? She's weaker than you in terms of personality like it's quite easy for her to break down bc of stress/pressure etc. She needs a lot of patience from her partner in a relationship like her partner can't push her to do things or push her to say things unless she's at the stage where she's comfortable. If her partner pushes her to say stuff about her deep emotions/thoughts/secrets, she'll shut down instantly and could walk away.

I think in this type of relationship you'd feel rather frustrated with G's inability to communicate her true feelings. You'd also feel some frustration with her wanting to hide this relationship from people, especially from her family. I don't think she's ready to be fully truthful with herself in terms of her sexuality(?) - I just feel she's hiding some things with respect to her feelings about love/sexuality etc.

I would say that she would be kind of shocked if you were to confess out of the blue and right now. (Not a negative type of shock or disgust but just genuinely surprised.) To make it less shocking for her, I would recommend that you at least get to know her more and talk to her more. That way you can understand where she is at emotionally (like is she even ready for love etc) and to see whether you'd really get along with her personally.

#jsjusjzzj #love readings #love predictions #relationship readings #relationship reading #ask game #ask games #💋

[piratebay]

i am SO stressed out rn. fml. social situations make me wanna throw up and cry

i fucked up and thought a cousin of mine was invited to the family halloween party this weekend and it turns out she wasn't invited Officially tm but really was invited bc as my aunt put it "the more the scarier"

she lives w her parents and they have Another House that's fifteen mins away from the party and at first they said it was ok to stay there w all of us (my cousin, me, and my two friends i had invited before i asked if my cousin was going even tho she wasnt Officially invited haha) and then revoked it but i was ok bc i had already made plans to stay with my aunt who's hosting the party. but because i didn't know my cousin wasn't invited, she was invited after there was no room left and everyone assumed she could stay at her parents' house. turns out she can't stay either cause she's scared to and her dad won't even allow her to, either.

which now she's shit out of luck i guess and idk what to do about it she wanted to invite me to stay with her in a hotel for free but i don't want to leave the party and my friends alone, nor do i want to be beholden because i'm getting a free room??

i have brainrot i guess and this is way overthinking it but she's literally 27 and has a job and makes 5 times what i do and can't get her own place to crash 😭😭😭

the only solution i have is for her to invite her own friend to accompany her to her hotel room i'm a bad friend either way!!! fuck.

#404 not found #Help Me oh my fucking god #and i've got work tmrw at 6:30 like!!! stfu and let me have my night #it's not my problem you disinvited us i am really sorry i invited you i thought you were already coming!!!

[myriadof-fandoms]

mimi watches ep 8

ft. my boy and comfort blanket aka my jamie bower and my hellfire shirt

we're starting 5 minutes late bc jamie bower said i should get popcorn

THIS IS MUSIC

i'm hollering

this isn't even funny but i'm so stressed

steve get your hands off of nancy i don't wanna throw up

JOPPER JOPPER JOPPER

... with murray

THEY HAD A FUNERAL

DID ANYBODY SHOW BRO MY GOOD DUDE

WHY IS THE DEMOGORGON ON A LAB TABLE I'M GONNA HAVE A FIT

bro why do i wanna pet it

if evil why pet shaped if evil why screaming in pain

oh no

what is this weird whooshie wind thing

my girl has her powers i'm so proud

why are we talking about surfer boy. is it billy. yes i'm still clowning.

STOP BREAKING WILL'S HEART MIKE

oh god oh god

we got tender emotional music and the painting oh god

no no no no o no no no baks lshslf soi am wipping back qnd forthoh sndpdbwl no no no

WHY IS MIKE LOOKING LIKE HE'S GONNA KISS HIM

JONATHAN

MIKE

THIS IS SO GAY

DIFFERENT

BRO BRO BRO BRO what are they doing

NO WHAT THE FUCK WILL NO NO NO NO NO

AND JONATHAN

okay i'm calm

.."they're all safe"... MAX NEARLY DIED YOU FUCKHEAD

OH HOLLY AND KAREN

oh i'm not feeling good about this at all

if this ends with all the gates open

I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS ALL OVER

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANxt take this

not the bickering 🥺

eleven watching the hawkins gang: who the fuck is vecna

robin is me vecna/henry/one

eddie is so done

T R A U M A HE GETS THEM TROUGH TRAUMA

i swear to god if max surviving once was a misdirect

"try not to miss" oh god oh no

yeah idk i don't trust whenever anybody looks happy in this show. i'm very afraid for hopper.

yeah as a person who grew up in what was east german and whose parents very much lived well yk under the ussr? they do not appreciate bursting through their walls

"angry hicks"

steddie are flirting!!

hey red oh my lord

THE MASK I FUCKING CANT

DON'T YA BIG BOY bro we really going harringrove amount of homosexual tension here

it's been three season and i still don't know if i trust owens. but him pushing the this is not a prison thing? he's securing points for himself

SIX LITTLE NUGGETS

LITTLE HARRINGTON .. if he weren't saying this to nancy it'd be good

yeah your husband can teach you how to surf

WHY ISN'T HE EVEN PRETENDING TO LOOK AT THE ROAD BRO STOP FLIRTING WITH YOUR EX

... what if lucas is right and vecna just takes someone random

bro her happiest time is gonna punch me

THAT'S PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU NO FUCKING DAMNIT DON'T TOUCH ME

"should i shoot him now or later"

god i love tom wlashiha my good little guy

hey not wrong about the phone call tbf

THIS THE MOST AMERICAN THIS SHOW HAS EVER BEEN ANGRY HICKS

oh steve goddamn

this is an awful day for the gays

WHY DOES VICKY LOOK SO SAD

FUCKING JASON

why are teenagers allowed to buy guns

not him giving gun advice

NANCY SHOOT HIM

let me punch him in the face i get that he has gone through severe loss but bro i draw the line

owens is dead he is so dead

god i was not made to hold this much stress i am but a little guy

i want to see brenner die

at least i have my comfort blankie of shirts

i did not need to see billy and bob die again thank u

FUCK YEAH BABY YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER MY CHILD BABY EL GO GET YOUR DAD WHO IS NOT CURSED

eddie.. in thay jacket i gotta gay.. the hanky.. i see you.. you nerd.. no more retreating.. baby u dead

NO DUSTIN AND EDDIE OH GOD OH NO it's gonna hurt so bad

erica and lucas 🥺 bonding

so much bonding

i still have hope baby boy baby

"it might not work out for us this time" bro you're all dead aren't you

showing them all as the kids they are while having robin say this.. oh god.. poetic cinema

..how.. how did he not see/hear the helicopter before

owens my guy at least you were kinda good

THAT'S MY GIRL

and all of this in white pants

NOT WILL IN THE BACKGROUND

ELEVEN AND WILL SIBLING HUG I CAN'T MY BABYS

bro shut the fuck up

YEAH FUCK HIM GO GET YOUR DAD NOW

"who's gonna die" you ask well my boy just everyone you know

SEPERATE WORLDS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

MAX IS GOING IN THE HOUSE OH NO OH BOY

SOMEDAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU

TRUE LOVE WON'T DESERT YOU

ngl this song is getting me through the day rn so i'm living

#stranger things #stranger things season 4 #spoilers #st spoiler #stranger things spoiler #stranger things spoilers #is this enough tags #mimi watches stranger things

[ourgoddessathena]

Five Hargreeves Headcanon : When Your S.O. Cheated On You

Pairing : Five x gn!reader

Warning : cheating, punching (?), fluff, rushing hcs lmao i'm too stressed bcs of school, bad grammar maybe?, it's all platonic but if you see the romance then it's romance *wink wink*

Request : yes

Word count : 490

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You are the Hargreeves' best friend, especially Five. So naturally, both of you know each other all too well

Including the fact that you love your current s.o. so much

Until one day, when you go out to a shop with Allison and Vanya, you found your s.o. were there too

With another person's arm linked on your s.o's arm

Your heart crushed instantly and you feel like you wanna cry

You know Allison and Vanya saw them too, because after that, you felt Vanya squished your shoulder slightly

And it gotten worse ; that person kissing your s.o. on the lips

Allison became mad, then went to them, slap your s.o., and almost rumor them–but you stopped her

You broke your 3 years relationship with your s.o. in there and then you left

Not before Allison cursing and slap your s.o. again, of course

Then you dissapear

Allison and Vanya couldn't find you anywhere, so they went home

Five was the one who ask them about where you are right now

Because he know you left with them earlier

So Allison told him about your ex s.o. cheated on you and now you're gone

They tried to find you, but you're not in your room (you live in the Hargreeves' house since your parents died)

Not in Griddys

Even not in the library

The rest of Hargreeves were gave up to search you, but Five was clearly not

Then he remember about the place where the two of you were met for the first time

A beautiful park that wasn't too far from the Academy

So he went there

And he saw you, sat there in one of the park's bench, with shaking shoulders

He could clearly heard your sobs

After a few minutes, he could see you getting more calm, so he approached you, sitting by your side

"...How did you know that I was here?" asked you. Your voice were still hoarsed after cried for hours.

"After all these years? We know each other all too well, bunny. If I can't find you, then I'm a bad friend." He said with a casual shrugs and his iconic smirk. You smiled a little bit as you heard the nickname.

Bunny, his old nickname for you.

"Should I kill your s.o.?" asked Five. He sound really mad.

"Ex s.o." you correct him with an annoyed tone.

"Yeah, whatever. Should I?" You shake your head to reply his question.

"Just... Forget them. I don't wanna talk about this anymore." you mumbled, rest your head in Five's shoulder.

"Okay. So, wanna some Griddys' donuts?"  whispered Five after a few minutes.

"Yeah. But it's your treat." you said with a certain tone. Five didn't see you, but he know that you just smirked right now.

"Fine. Come on. Let's teleport to Griddys."

Five hold your hand, then he teleported both of you to the Griddys, where his siblings were waiting all this time.

Fin.

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special tag for @alicefell <3 thanks for requesting!

#five hargreeves #number five #tua five #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x y/n #five hargreeves x reader #five x you #five x y/n #five x reader #five hargreeves headcanon #five headcanon #the umbrella academy #tua #tua headcanon

[itscuppicakes]

This is something I put together bc haha toxic parents go brrrr

Donnie X Reader: Gaslighting parents

TW: emotionally abusive parents, vent, cursing

You sat on your bed, writing whatever thinks came into your mind. Your trash can halfway full of crumbled up papers with run on sentences and imperfect writings.

"You're just looking for things to be mad about!"

Those words flooded your mind, like waves from the oceans trying to fit into a single water bottle.

You always felt like you were overreacting over something that hurt you, but this was different.

You don't know if it was because you've been visiting your sister a lot more, or maybe it's the trama that took away that innocent thought that your mother is always right, making you realize that your feels are vaild.

You were talking to your mom about a character from a story that you liked, and pulling a joke about how you where falling for characters that are not anywhere near your type.

"You DO know that they're fictional, right?" Those words fell out of her mouth and into your ears, and it felt horrible.

Your mother always asked this question when you talked about the characters you admired, and this was the last straw.

"Yes, mom. I promise you, I'm not crazy," I chuckled awkwardly, trying to play it off. That didn't go so well.

"I never said that! Don't put words in my mouth, little girl."

You hated when she called you that, acting like she's always in the right. She's the good guy.

'God f*cking damnit,' You thought.

"Well Mom, that kinda hurt my feelings."

The woman scoffed, "Okay." She uttered, continuing to play her game on her cellphone.

You look over at your stepfather mom's husband, and he chuckled. 'Enjoying the show, A-hole?'

You stood up and headed to your bedroom to blow of some steam in peace. You weren't in the mood today.

"I love you." Those guilt tripping words stung like a bee, but the bee would be paradise compared to this.

"You too." You forced the words out of your mouth and they fell face flat onto the carpet.

"Are you mad at me now?" She asked in a snarky manner. You turned around, and looked at her.

"WELL, Mom. Yes I am, I'm not gonna lie."

"Ugh, you're just looking for things to be mad about!"

"Okay, mom. Whatever." You walked to your bedroom upstair and closed the door.

You grabbed your phone and texted your purple-wearing-turtle boyfriend. Your fingers scattered across the keyboard, trying to put together words that don't come across as rude.

He responded quickly, as usual.

"Ofc. Want me to pick you up?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay,, I'll be there in exactly 8 minutes and 23 seconds."

"Thanks, Dee. Love you, see you in a few💜"

"You too, Babe."

You tried to act as subtle as possible, trying not to make him worry, but Donnie knew something was up.

8 minutes and 23 seconds after you texted him, you heard a knock on your window. You opened it and saw your boyfriend standing on the fire escape with a hoodie on and his hands in his kangaroo pocket.

Snow was everywhere from the snow storm New York had the night before. The cool air was creeping into your bedroom, sending chills down your spine.

"You called?" You sighed. "Hi, Babe," you mumbled as you get your laptop from it's charging port and stuffed it in your dufflebag, which was full of clothes for the night and tomorrow.

"You wanna talk about it or want to wait until we get to the lair?"

You paused for a second and continued packing. "Just get me the f*ck away from this hellhole."

"Okay." Donnie knew when to push and when to not push, and you cussing and face red gave him the idea of what not to do.

He kisses your head to comfort you, grabbed your hand and helped you out of the window so you won't fall.

A few minutes have passed and he had his arm around your shoulders as you two walked the back strets of the city. You played with his digits, lost in thought.

"Did you eat before I got you?" "..Didn't want to down there." "Okay, we'll order something from somewhere and take it home. It's my turn to get dinner anyways."

"I want to never go back there.."

"I know, Babe."

Donnie knew about your situation at home. All of the Mad Dogs did. They really hated your parents for it.

You are the sweetest person and you never want to hurt others that didn't hurt you. But oh god, you counted the days until you could move in with April in the apartment you two are saving up for.

Your boyfriend has been taking you away from your apartment more and more, and it hurts him to see you like this.

"She tried to gaslight me again."

"Why does that not surprise me? What did she say?"

You sighed, recalling the argument. After you tell him, he rubs your small hand that's in his.

"So you were just making friendly conversation and when she said something that offended you, she got mad at you for telling her your feelings?"

"Yep." "She's the crazy person." "What else is new?"

"I'm so f*cking tired of all this bullsh*t, Donnie. I'm so stressed because I have exams tomorrow, and the past two weeks have drained me. I'm tired, I have bags under my eyes and I'm not eating properly. Hell, I'll be lucky if I get a glass of water in me."

He hated seeing you like this. He wanted to help you, but he can't just tell your parents off. He's a turtle and they don't even know that you a boyfriend.

"Have you called your sister?" "She said I can come over next week." "Good."

Once you two ordered the food for everyone, you started to walk in the sewers.

"Hey, Y/n?" "Hm," you hummed as you eat the mcflurry Donnie and you are sharing. "Do you know one of the things I love about you," He asked as he ate a fry covered in ice cream at the end. "Don't get sappy with me, Purple." "Shut up, I'm giving you a compliment." He said in his monotone voice, ignoring your annoyance. "It's that you keep fighting through this. You go through the bullsh*t they put you through eveyday and yet you're still here. You're a fighter."

You blushed and looked at you turtle boyfriend. "I do that because you and the guys are there for me. And plus the day I move out, I plan on giving my mom and her husband an earful." Donnie chuckled.

He lifted your chin and kissed you. He never really kissed you in public place, let alone the entrance of the lair.

He didn't care if his brothers saw. You needed it.

"I love you, Babe." "Love you too, Dee."

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie x reader #tmnt #rottmnt donatello #donatello

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

[rlbubbles]

my mom doesn't understand me part 1

(disclaimer : I don’t support or encourage self harm, or disorders of any kind, this is only a post to explain what I’m going through. If you are having trouble with anything, mental health or physical health, please get help.) and know I love you. even if I don't know you, I love you. and we can get through this. 💙💙

TRIGGER ALERT : IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH, I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO CONSIDER NOT READING THIS POST, I DON'T WANT TO TRIGGER ANY OF YOU, I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANY OF YOU.

mom : honey, what's wrong?

me : *explains what's wrong super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. I'm sorry. okay.

me : *nods*

mom 2 hours later : hey. what's wrong? is everything okay?

me : no. I'm not okay.

mom : what's wrong?

me : same thing I told you a few hours ago. I still feel upset/hurt about it.

mom : what is it?

me : I told you already.

mom : tell me again.

me : *explains it to her super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. okay. I'm sorry. maybe I can help. what can we do to make you feel better?

me : *explains what will make me better super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh okay. we can do that. it's easy.

me : yup. thanks mom.

mom 2 hours later : *does the EXACT opposite of what will make me better and thinks it will fix everything*

me : *realizes what she did* *panics/panic attack and ask* mom? why? why would you do that?

mom : because we talked about it, this would make you better.

me : no. mom. no. I said *the exact opposite* would make me better. this made it SO much WORSE!!

mom : oh. I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you, because I love you.

me : I know mom. I'm sorry. it's not your fault.

mom : okay. I love you.

me : I love you too.

me 2 days later : *stressing bc mom "fixed it" but really it's way worse and I'm struggling to find a solution to feel better*

me a day later : *realizes the solution is to push through it, (bc it's ocd and fear of fears,) and I'll realize I'm okay.

mom 2 hours later : sweetie, what's wrong? are you okay?

me : no. I've been stressed out for a few days now.

mom : why? what's wrong?

me : same thing that was wrong a few days ago. it hasn't changed.

mom : *thinks really hard* I don't remember. what was it?

me : *explains it super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. I thought we fixed that.

me : no. you tried to fix it, but I couldn't feel better.

mom : oh. well. what can we do to fix it, so you feel better?

me : *explains what will make me better super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. okay. that's easy. we can do that. okay. relax. you'll be okay. okay. I understand. you don't need to stress anymore, okay. I love you.

me : *sigh of relief* thanks mom. I love you too.

mom 2 hours later : *"fixes it" by doing the exact opposite of what will make me better*

me : *panics* mom? why did you do that?

mom : bc you said it would make you better.

me : no. mom, that's not what I said. I said *the exact opposite* would make me feel better.

mom : oh. I'm sorry. sweetie, I just wanted to help you. bc I love you.

me : I know mom. it's not your fault, I probably confused you when I explained it to you. (a lie bc, i don't want to make her feel bad, bc she struggles with depression and for a while suicidal thoughts)

mom : okay.

me 5 days later : *been struggling with panic attacks every two hours for the last 5 days because my mom "fixed it" and my solution is to push through the fear bc it's ocd and fear of fears, and I will eventually realize I'm okay, so long as I push through it, so I've been in my room all day everyday, for the last 5 days, bc it's my only safe place*

mom : *knocks on door, opens door* hey. are you okay. you haven't left your room for almost a week.

me : *panics, I can't tell her I'm not okay, bc she will want to "fix it", and I can't make her feel bad and think it's her fault. lies* yeah, I'm okay mom. I just really like my room, you know.

mom : are you sure?

me : yup. really. I'm okay. *smiles so she drops it*

mom : okay. *leaves room, closes door*

mom 2 hours later : *knocks on door, opens door* hi. I was just thinking, you know how you said you really like your room?

me : yeah. *nervous, what is she getting at*

mom : well, what if we rearranged it so you have more space since you like to be in your room?

me : *panics, knowing that if my room were rearranged, it wouldn't feel like my safe place anymore, bc of ocd and fear of fears. tries to make up a reason for why I don't want my room moved without my mom feeling bad* um. no. that's okay, I really like my room like this.

mom : really? are you sure?

me : yeah. I'm sure. it's perfect.

mom : mmm. are you sure? it looks a bit crowded.

me : mmm, no. it's actually not. besides it feels cozy like this. I really like it.

mom : are you sure? I'm really good at tectris, I can move your room around and you can have more space.

me : no. that's okay. there's actually a lot of space in my room. you can't tell bc you're looking at it from the doorway, but if you were to step inside and move around my room, you'd see it's actually spacious.

mom : are you sure. you're going to spend a lot of time in here. I want you to be comfortable. I can move your room. it would be really easy.

me : no. that's okay, mom. I really like it like this. please don't move my room around.

mom : *nods*

me : thanks mom.

mom : I'm just trying to help. bc I love you.

me : I know mom. and I appreciate that, but I really like my room like this.

mom : *nods*

me : thanks mom. I love you.

mom : *leaves room, closes door*

me : *slow breathing to get rid of panic attack that was caused by stress and worry that I had to come up with an idea to keep my mom from moving my room around, my safe place. panic attack leaves after 10 minutes*

mom 2 hours later : dinner. come and eat.

me and my brother : *walk to dining area to eat*

mom : *weirdly disappears for 30 minutes*

me and my brother : *decide to watch a movie in the living room*

mom : *suddenly reappears and sits and eats at the dining table*

movie : *end credits roll*

me and my brother : wow that was a really cool movie.

me : well, I'm going to my room now

brother : okay, I'll go to my room too.

me : *walks to my room, notices my door is closed, it's never closed, I panic, I turn the handle and see my room*

my room : hi. I've been rearranged. I'm no longer your safe place. your bed isn't where it used to be. and that pile of stuffed animals you had on your bed ready to be used by you when you "can't do this anymore" yup, there on that shelf over there, in a neat line. and the stuff that used to be on that shelf is now either on your desk, which is also moved or in your dressers' drawers, also... moved. but hey, you have .08 inches of more space!! I wonder what your going to do with it!! so I know I'm not the same room you left like 2 hours ago. but can we still be friends. I hope you like me. please like me. it's not my fault. I didn't want to be moved around. but your mom moved me. bc the only sign on your door that says "keep out" is an invisible lock of trust that's on your door. trust between parent and child. but that lock is easily broken (whispers) all you do is turn the door handle, and push the door open. so. do you wanna come and sit on your bed, and hug a stuffed animal, that you'll need to pluck off the shelf, after panicking bc you have to chose ONE from the shelf, but how do you chose ONE, when you second guess everything, but don't worry about that, just pick ONE, and sit on your bed and you can cry silently, being tormented by suicidal thoughts until you tire yourself out and fall asleep. but don't worry, those thoughts will be there for you when you wake up, waiting for you to wake up, it'll have a big grin and a knife, shining in a beautiful light, calling your name. so wanna close the door, and we can start.

me : *panics, can't breathe, tears are banging behind my eyes, runs to find my mom who sits at the dining table eating, like nothing is wrong*

me : mom. uh. I just went to my room, and it looks different.

mom : yeah. I know. I moved it for you. *smiles, like she deserves a best mom of the year award*

me : *chokes on my tears, still holding them back* you moved it. why? I thought we talked about it. you said you weren't going to move my room.

mom : we did. but I figured you'd like your room more if it's more spacious.

me : but I told you I liked it how it was.

mom : I know.

me : so why did you move it?

mom : bc I thought you'd like it.

me : *confused* but I said I didn't want you to move it.

mom : yeah, but you know how you don't really know what you like until you see it. *shrugs* same thing. I wanted you to see how I could make your room look, bc i think you might like it.

me : um. but I said I didn't want it to be moved. and I know myself really well.

mom : mmmm. *tilts head side to side* do you, though? I'm your mom, I think I know you better than you know yourself.

also mom : *works 24/7 and only talks to me at dinner for 2 minutes and at night to say good night. and when I "schedule" time to talk to her once a month for an hour to two to catch her up on my life.*

me : *struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for about 4 months when I was 14, and my mom didn't know anything, not even that I would cry in the bathroom every night for two hours. she only found out, bc I couldn't take it anymore and I was between killing myself or asking somebody for help. and I decided to text my uncle at 1 o'clock in the morning, and he text back. and said we should go out for ice cream when I wake up and we can talk about it. she only found out, bc I had to explain, why all of a sudden, I was leaving to see my uncle. and "just because we want to see each other" wasn't enough for my overprotective, aggressive parent of a mom. struggling with anxiety, ocd and fear of fears, I know EVERY FEAR I've dealed with for the last 3 years, what makes me calm and what triggers me, and my mom only knows about 2 fears that I've outgrown bc fear of fears, is a real b**** and gives new fears to me every two weeks. lovely, right? and she thinks she knows me. she doesn't even know what my favorite movie is!! for crying out loud.

also me : *nods, holding the tears back and says* okay. well, I'm going to my room now.

mom : okay. good night. I love you.

me : *turning away from her and walking out the dining area, voice cracks as tears start to flood my eyes* I love you too. good night.

mom : are you okay?

me : *shouts from the hallway, lies* yup. I'm okay.

me : *walks into my room, closes the door, stares at my unrecognizable room, my once safe place, my now, torture chamber. I break. tears roll of my waterline and race down my cheeks, "I can't do this" echos in my mind. I grab a stuffed animal from the shelf and face plant onto my bed. and silently ugly cry. telling myself, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I can do this, I'm stronger than this. I can get through this. I believe it less and less with each hour that ticks by. eventually my body gives up, and I fall asleep. only to face these thoughts again in the morning, bc my safe place isn't safe anymore.

this is my life from the time I could talk to now. I'm 19¾ today.

#self harm #self harn #cutting #suicidal thoughts #anxiety #panic attacks #ocd #fear of fears #please get help #my mom doesnt understand #overprotective parents #aggressive parenting

[autism-asks]

🌱 hi! I'm gonna start by saying that if you could answer this question asap that'd be great!! it's ok if you can't though :-) so I'm feeling,, very stressed. My parents, my sister, her boyfriend, my niece and I will leave for the weekend to go to a city that lies 4 hours away and also to visit the zoo. But I don't know if I want to. We'll be sleeping in our small caravan. The thing is, in theory, I really really want to visit this zoo, but idk how well I'll be able to handle everything else

🌱 I feel like it'd all go to shit because of my autism. First of all, we'll all be sleeping in the same small caravan. I'd just feel stuck all the time, and the fact that I'm not close to my sister, her boyfriend or my niece makes it any easier. And at the actual zoo, I feel like there'd be too many people, bad weather etc and I'd just ruin all of the fun. But I still wanna go, but when I think about it idk if I would even enjoy it :( And I don't want to stay at home alone either

🌱 but I don't want my mom to stay with me just because of me and my autism hdfjkd. Sorry if this is a weird question, I was just really hoping you could help me out bc I'm really stressed and overwhelmed by this :/

Hey there,

we’re sorry we’re getting to this so late. We hope you were able to find a solution to your problem and that you were able to enjoy your trip to the zoo!

As I (Kath) pointed out in this ask, it is important to make sure your fears are supported by facts. Once you have done this, you can work on finding solutions or making preparations. For example, if you’re worried about the weather, look at the weather forecast. You can then pack accordingly.

Since a lot of your anxiety focused on if you’d be able to deal with being around so many people while sharing a small space with them, you could start by talking with those people about your worries and then look at what you’d need to feel better in that situation.

Pro and contra lists can help you visualize where you stand on an issue and bring order into your thoughts.

-Wren and Kath

#taking trips #travelling #travel #vacation #family #zoo #going to the zoo #anxiety #catastrophizing #advice #mod wren #Anonymous #mod kath

[the-keeper-of-my-keys]

Im sorry, but can i ask you something about abuse? I dont know if im being abused, i feel bad for even considering it. My mom ignores me when i ask how her day was, and if i ask her to do something she makes me feel bad about it because she buys me things i don't even ask for. She'll talk to me but only when she feels like it. Ive done the housework since i can remember and i can't ever do anything for myself, i think because i only know how to take care of her and my sister. (1)

(2) she makes me feel awful about my inability to finish my school work or study for my driving test, but at the same time i do have time to do it, but no drive. My future doesn't matter to me at all. Everything around the house that goes wronh is automatically my fault. Recently i confronted my autistic sister about her not eating and it upset her, and my mom yelled at me about it even though i was just worried for her. Im starting to think we only matter when what we do affects her.(3) in her defence, she's a single mother suffering from depression and anxiety and she does support us and buy us luxuries like my phone and computer and new clothes, and she paid for me and my friend to go to a concert awhile ago. I feel like a bad person for thinking she might be abusing me, but now she's making my nana feel worthless and annoying like she has me, and i think i'm starting to see her games. At the same time, i'm only 16, so i might be blowing things out of proportion.(4) i'm gonna leave it there. There are other things i can think of that might classify as abuse, but they arent major and i feel horrible for asking in the first place. If you don't want to answer this it's fine! Please delete it if it makes you uncomfortable or anything and im so sorry for spamming you with my problems. If i'm not just crazy and it is abuse, what do i do? I turn 18 in 2 years but i cant do anything for myself. This is my 3rd year in 9th grade bc i cant pass. I just want out._____________________Hi anon, first of all you do not have to feel bad! I’m glad to help and this doesn’t make me uncomfortable. This is probably going to be a long answer, so bear with me.So I don’t have a ton of information here and I’m not an expert so I can’t give you a for sure answer, but from what you’ve said here it definitely sounds like something is not right, and it does sound like abuse to me. It especially sounds like neglect, which in my opinion is a form of abuse. But it also in some parts just seems like clear cut and dry emotional abuse. The part where you said she makes you feel horrible about not being able to finish your schoolwork and stuff -- she shouldn’t be saying things that make you feel that way. She shouldn’t be blaming everything on you. And I think it’s also really neglectful of her to not realize that there’s a reason that you aren’t able to pass your classes? Like stuff like that doesn’t just happen for no reason, and she is ignoring the root cause -- I’m guessing it’s your stress -- and she is ignoring the emotional reasons that you are probably not doing well in school. If she isn’t interested in making sure you’re okay and the real reasons for this, she’s very self-absorbed.Here’s some possible psychological stuff on your mom that I was kind of getting from your messages. Sorry I might be totally off so if I am just ignore this. It sounds like your mom is having a lot of problems of her own, and isn’t dealing with them first, so she’s ignoring all of her responsibilities and pretending they don’t exist. And it sounds like she buys you random things to make herself feel better, so she can say she’s a good parent, and maybe tries to do something nice because she secretly feels bad? But she probably also thinks that buying you things will also get her out of the other parenting things she’s obligated to do, and that if she buys you stuff once in a while, she won’t have to do the things she really doesn’t want to. It’s also probably a subconscious (or even just conscious) mind game thing, where she thinks if she buys you stuff once in a while, you’ll stay and won’t leave. She wants to keep you there forever with her and drain your energy, so that you’ll be taking care of her and she doesn’t have to take responsibility. But she is your caregiver, and is supposed to be taking care of you, and she hasn’t been. It also seems like she’s been doing this for awhile, probably your whole life. She’s making you the parent, making you responsible for your sister and for her, and your mom is acting like she’s the victim and is pushing her problems on you, making you deal with them. In a healthy family, there are clear boundaries, and it kind of seems like there are no boundaries. While most of the time your mom is making you the parent, this time when you tried to get your sister to eat and were parenting in a way your mom didn’t like, your mom stepped in and was like “wtf I’m the parent this is my role so stop it because you’re not doing it how I want you to.” And I can understand how shitty and confusing it must be for you, my parents do that a lot -- it’s really confusing as a kid to have your role be like a parent most of the time with no clear boundaries, and then randomly your parents step in and take that role away, when you’re used to it.But your mom’s psychological problems don’t excuse her behavior at all. It doesn’t invalidate the abuse, because it sounds like abuse. Her depression and anxiety don’t excuse anything either. There are tons of people with depression and anxiety, that don’t do as shitty things as she does. It might honestly just come down to that she’s just kind of a shitty person, and doesn’t care about other people as much as herself, and won’t care for her family. I hope you’re not offended by that, but she doesn’t sound like a great mom at all.Maybe you’re only 16, but also you’ll be an adult in two years. I’m 16 too, but by the age of 16, people usually have their head on straighter, and kind of have more of an idea of what they want. At least that’s what my therapist told me. I know it’s hard not to believe your own thoughts because your mom might make you think that all of your ideas are invalid because you’re “not old enough” or “flawed” in some way (even if she didn’t say that, that might be the message you’re taking from it), but trust me when I say that for a lot of things, you’re able to trust your own judgment. You’ve come this far.I believe in you and you will make it through this! You only have two more years left until you can leave, and then this will all be over. And you say you can’t do anything for yourself, but I know you can and I know you’ll make it, because you were taking a step for yourself by sending me these messages and trying to figure your life out :)If you’re worried about not knowing how to take care of yourself, I would focus for now on becoming more independent from your mom, the most you can be, so that you’ll be prepared for the outside world when you turn 18 (or whenever you decide to move out). The internet can be your parent if she won’t be. You can learn almost anything about everything with a quick search, and you can teach yourself how to take care of yourself and support yourself. I’ll link  adulting masterposts here and here if you need any resources, it’s helped me a lot for sure! I hope this helped at least somewhat, and if you need anything else or wanna talk don’t hesitate to send me a message :) 

#ask #abuse #advice #toxic parents #neglect #Anonymous