#I can only imagine how happy he must've felt

[songmingisthighs]

Pitiful, You're Pitiful

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ch. ii

group : ateez

pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader

genre : angst, mature

word count : 3 k

warning : adultery, cheating, medical condition (?), mentions of loss/miscarriage, negative depiction of wooyoung

a/n : happy valentine's <3

It had been two months since the night you were intimate with Wooyoung and it was still suffocating to think about.

It hurts a lot actually. But you can't let your sadness take over you, especially when Wooyoung hasn't shown any concrete signs that you should be worried other than your feelings. So you kept it to yourself, you kept your anxiety in and with every trip and team dinner or client meeting, you convinced yourself that he was doing what he said he was doing no matter how nauseated it made you feel. The stress must've gotten to you badly because the nausea was starting to become unbearable and even made you vomit almost every day. You figured it was psychosomatic but since it had affected your housework (aka Wooyoung complaining that you were up late several times, Dayoung grumbling under her breath about you not even caring to make her breakfast, and Woohyun refusing to go to kindergarten because he was worried over you).

Today started quite roughly.

"MOM!"

You barely held onto the countertop of your sink when you heard your daughter huffing from the other side of the door. The pain in your head and the discomfort from your stomach made your body sway slightly and the second round of angry knocks felt like a hammer to your head.

"Mom, seriously, I'm gonna be late!" Dayoung sighed sharply. You could just imagine the look on her face and while you love your children to bits, the way your body was practically shutting down on you, it felt like you wanted to scream back at her to give you a break. But you kept reminding yourself that you're the parent, she's an angsty teenager and you can't create a hostile environment for your youngest.

By whatever force that was working in your favour, you managed to walk yourself to the door and though your hands were cold, clammy, and trembling, you were able to open the door to see your daughter glaring at you. "S-sorry sweetie, mommy's not feeling well right now," you sighed, wiping the cold sweat off your forehead with your palm.

Dayoung hated the way you referred to yourself as if she was still a child or something and she let you know her disdain with a scoff and a roll of her eyes. "If you were so against me taking the bus in the morning, you could've at least made an effort to be punctual. I had to dress Woohyun, you know that? He and his milk-drenched chin almost ruined my cardigan and uniform. How is it that I'm doing things you're supposed to? Couldn't you have gotten drunk during the weekends or something?" she sneered, oblivious that it had been a while since you touched alcohol because when you tried to have a glass the week before, you ended up throwing up for some reason. The throbbing was coming back along with annoyance and you couldn't help the sharp exhale that you let out, "Can you not be like this right now? You being disrespectful won't make me move any faster." At least Dayoung had the decency to shut her mouth but from the corner of your eyes, you could see her fists clenching. "Where's your dad anyways? He knew I was not feeling well, he could've taken you and Woohyun to school." Although you were sighing and struggling to move without keeling over, you still forced your body to cooperate, determined to prioritize your motherly duties above letting sickness take over you completely. Dayoung only leaned on the wall while texting her friend, completely aware that you had almost fallen over a couple of times as you changed into your jeans, "I don't know, Daddy seemed to be in a rush this morning. He went out like an hour earlier than usual, humming and mumbling something about meeting someone for coffee before going to the academy."

The lighthearted tone Dayoung used didn't hide the heaviness of those words. You had been rather preoccupied as a mom to really follow up on your instinct so when you heard that, you felt a chill down your spine. For a moment, you couldn't help but wonder what or why you felt like that. As quick as that doubt came, you brushed the thought away as you grabbed your bag, rushed your children out the door, and loaded them into your car.

Being a parent was truly a wonder because for a moment, while focusing on your children, you felt like your body was mending itself. The headache was gone, your joints were not achy, and the bloated feeling in your stomach was relieved. Maybe it was stress, a psychosomatic symptom because you had a feeling that something was wrong with Wooyoung and because nothing did, your body directed the feeling towards your health. It's possible, the body is mysterious and things that make almost 0 sense can happen in a blink of an eye.

But once you found yourself all alone after taking Woohyun to his class, you slumped against the side of your car, clutching your head as the pain suddenly returned all at once. It was then and there that you realized that something was going on with you and you needed to get it checked out immediately.

On the way to the hospital, your mind was at war. It was plagued with scary scenarios like cancer one moment before the logical side of your brain reasoned that it could be something as simple as indigestion, acid reflux or even stomach flu. The anxiety didn't die down and you thought that at moments like this, you needed your partner, you needed your husband. Your husband who in the past had gone above and beyond to nurse you back to health even when it was just your allergy acting up. It was ironic that as you smiled and reminisced about the things your husband did for you in the past, your phone let out a long dial tone that let you know that you couldn't reach your husband for the 5th time. The anxiety bubbled up at the pit of your stomach as your fear went on automation, immediately associating Wooyoung not accepting your calls as a bad omen. One by one, your brain started ticking off possibilities such as stomach cancer, bowel obstruction, and kidney problems. Then your daughter's jabs started popping in your head, her jabs about how you drink a lot. It wasn't like you get drunk on wine twice a week like a ritual but it was never like that. You do enjoy the occasional glass but even then, it was slightly less than the amount people usually pour and it never surpassed you feeling tingly. But maybe you had accidentally subconsciously increased your intake and what you were experiencing was liver failure.

Out of all the diagnoses you were fearing, you honestly weren't expecting the doctor to tell you that you were pregnant.

As embarrassing as it was to admit, the moment the doctor revealed the diagnosis, it was like a punch to the gut and you vomited all over the ER floor. On the plus side, you no longer feel bloated.

"I can't be pregnant, there's no way. I haven't been intimate with my husband in a long while," you said after gulping down the water one of the nurses brought for you. "Blood tests are rarely wrong, ma'am," the doctor pulled her stool closer to you and sat down to look at you straight in the eyes, "When was the last time you were intimate with your husband?" It was both easy and hard for you to remember the last time you had sex with Wooyoung. You couldn't even call it making love because it wasn't. He fucked you to shut you up and left you alone like a washed-up carcass. The urge to scream and go crazy was high as it seemed like such a joke to get pregnant from that one time.

You wanted to laugh, scream, cry at how ironic the situation was. How when you tried so hard to grow your family with your husband, you were met with heartbreak. But now that things were verging on collapsing, you were suddenly blessed with a person you didn't even know you'd been waiting for. But your brain hadn't caught up to that point, still in disbelief and maybe even shock.

The doctor's voice was merely a murmur at that point. You couldn't focus, you couldn't really comprehend what she was saying because you were so deep in your thoughts, your bitter thoughts of the situation. You were worried because after what happened to your last pregnancy, it took you a long while to be okay again. There was even a period of time when Wooyoung was the only functioning parent, taking care of the role of both mom and dad while you recuperate. Of course, you weren't expecting to lose this pregnancy too. Who would do that? But the fear existed, the fear remained a part of you and as much as you want to shed it, it was so hard.

Nevertheless, you couldn't help but let your mind wander and suddenly flicker into hope. Hope that this baby will bring your husband back, bring him back to the way he was before the loss you both experienced. Hoping that his distance was because he was also waiting for this same little stranger.

"Hey, (y/n)!"

You turned around and saw Yunho jogging towards you, huffing.

When did you get out of the ER? You felt a buzz in your hand from your phone and frowned when you saw the message. When did you make an OB appointment?

Whatever the answer was, you immediately tried to shove your worries away and put on a smile, trying to appear normal or somewhat okay in front of your husband's friend.

Before you could greet him back, however, he cut you off, "I came as soon as I heard," he panted. "What?" you chuckled awkwardly, not understanding what he meant but slightly worried because you had thought someone saw you in the ER and heard what you and the doctor were talking about and informed other people. "How's Wooyoung? Was it really a heart attack? I heard he hit his head or something. Which room is he in?" It felt like you were the one who hit their head because you had no idea what Yunho was saying. You waved your hands in front of Yunho's face to stop his rants, "Whoah, Yunho, what are you talking about?" Now it was Yunho's turn to be confused. "I-I was informed by the academy's front desk that Wooyoung got hurt. They said they called Wooyoung in because he missed his special trainee class and they got information that he was hurt and that he was admitted here so I thought that he was with you."

In a flash, you turned and dashed to the information desk, Yunho hot on your tail. the both of you stayed close as you go up to the room Wooyoung was admitted in, worry evident in the way you both looked but it was definitely more prominent on you.

Once on the floor, you ran out first to the nurse's station before Yunho could even register that the elevator door had opened. Your hands accidentally slammed loudly on the hard surface of the counter, making Yunho and the nurses in the station to jump slightly in shock, "Hi, I-I'm looking for Jung Wooyoung, he was just admitted not too long ago," you were on the verge of crying because you were so worried and you felt and that you didn't even know your husband got hurt. The nurse checked her computer for a second before looking back at you, "He is on this floor but I'm afraid I can't let you visit him just yet. His wife is in there with him and considering the situation, we were instructed to let him get his rest first. Visitors are permitted once Mr Jung's doctor clears him and you will be notified by his wife." Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and so did Yunho at the revelation, "That... That can't be right, I'm his wife," you said, surprising the nurse. She produced a guest sign-in form on a clipboard and muttered to herself, "I- well, there was this lady who came in with him and she told the doctor that they were in their bedroom when Mr Jung had the accident. She mentioned- I- I think she mentioned that she was his partner, s-so I just assumed she was his wife because of the ring on his finger," she meekly showed you the signature on the clipboard but it looked unfamiliar.

"Yeon Harin? That's our backup dancer," Yunho scoffed from behind you, "What's she doing here with Wooyoung?"

Dread washed over you like the water from a river in winter. The look on your face was enough to let not only the nurse who talked to you but the other nurses around know what was going on. Guilt gnawed at them when they saw your face paled and eyes glazed over as if they were the ones who committed such betrayal towards you. However, it took Yunho a moment to realize. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes lingered on the name as his brain replayed the information he received. Dots connecting one by one, Yunho felt like he was being punched in the gut. "Oh fuck," he cussed under his breath, realizing what just happened. Realizing what his revelation of the identity did, "(y/n), a-"

Before he could ask if you were alright, you had pushed yourself away from the station, eye unfocused as if searching for a way to escape. "I... T-thank you... C-can, uh... Can I come back later with my hus- Wooyoung's things? W-what time is the cutoff time for visitors?" You did not notice it but your voice trembled, breaking slightly even as you tried communicating with the nurses in a voice so small, that they had to not breathe to hear you clearly. It was obvious that you were trying to hold yourself together, but it was also probably because you were processing the information. The head nurse pushed past from the back of the station and addressed you directly with a gentle, motherly smile, it was a shame you didn't see it. "Cut-off time is in 2 hours which will be at 12 pm and it will reopen at 6-8 pm. But for family members, there isn't really a cut-off time, I'll make sure Mr Jung's visitor is out of his room soon," at least someone had the decency to do what's right.

You didn't even remember if you told the nurses thank you because when your senses returned, you found yourself already walking back towards the elevator. "(y/n)? Hey, are you okay?" Yunho called out, making his presence and proximity obvious to you. You wanted to tell him that you were fine, but how could you? Your assumption was just confirmed in such a public place in a situation the same hour you found out you were pregnant in the same place you found out that your husband was hurt and you weren't there for him. Although his side piece was there and considering that he was with her when he was supposed to be at a very important class due to the account and his own ownership of account management, he must've prioritized her presence more. Yunho didn't press you for a reply though, he just wanted to make sure you were okay, he wanted to make sure he could give you what you needed which was tricky since he had no idea what to do. He too, was still processing the information and trying to make sense of things. Was his assumption even correct? Was his friend really that much of a monster? So when you hopped in the elevator, Yunho didn't know if he was supposed to let you go by yourself or jump in and drive you home. Were you even going home? Why were you even there if you didn't even know that Wooyoung was admitted?

When you finally spared Yunho a glance, the door was starting to close and with a smile that haunted him for weeks, you spoke, "Don't tell Wooyoung about this, okay?" and the door closed, leaving Yunho worried and conflicted because all he wanted to do was go into Wooyoung's room and demand an explanation but with what you said, he couldn't. Could he?

When you heard the door closed, your body slumped to the wall and you felt your legs turn to jelly. Your intuition was right, he was being unfaithful and his timing, as always, was just perfect because the day you found out the truth just had to be the same day you found out that you were pregnant with the baby he fucked into you so coldly. A wave of nausea bubbled up in your stomach and your chest burned. The moment the door of the elevator opened, you ran out and your legs took you to the parking lot where you vomited out the bile that was probably the physical form of your feeling. Though the pressure was relieved, you could still feel the sting and burn in your throat, the bitterness in your tongue, and the dread washing over you.

Hunched over the bushes, you found it hard to straighten up and walk. At that moment, you want everything to stop because it was too much, it was too much for you to bear to bear alone.

Mere realization was not enough because you were in denial, you wanted to believe that it was just a dream, that you were hallucinating, that your husband was not the asshole but you were for wanting him to be a monster so much that your brain had somehow warped reality and created this scenario for you to hold onto.

Honestly, you didn't know what to process first.

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[gizmo-writes]

caught | spencer reid

warnings: kidnapping, allusion to rape, loss of virginity (not by choice), guns, fuck or die trope, being shot, crying, pain, concussion, spencer is the biggest sweet heart, hospitals, talk of Spencer's trauma, happy ending?

special shout out to @imagining-in-the-margins they are an amazing writer! they inspired me to write this so a huge huge thank you to them!

Your head pounded, you felt light headed and dizzy. You tried to open your eyes but your head hurt too much. The cold floor grounded you, it was a nice constant. You could hear a voice but couldn't quite place it, it echoed in your mind only making your head hurt more. You groaned, you couldn't get up, everything hurt too much. And there was that damned voice again, speaking way too loudly for your comfort. "Please stop," you whimpered, your body ached to the point that you felt nauseous. "Y/n, please.. tell me you're okay," the voice said but once again you groaned. "Shh," you said, trying to get them to stop speaking.

You faintly heard the noise of a lock clicking but you didn't quite understand what it meant. But before you could even think, you felt hands on your body. The hands were gentle on your arms, trying to help you move but you didn't want to. "It's me, y/n It's me. It's spencer. Talk to me." He said. Spencer, oh thank god it was spencer. "Stop, i don't wanna move," you said, voice shaking. "Okay, okay. We won't move, im just gonna put your head in my lap." He said. Once again, you were groaning as he did so. You could feel him moving but you refused to open your eyes. He placed the fabric of his sweater on your forehead, you must've been bleeding, that's the only reason he'd do that. "Can you open your eyes? I need to check if you have a concussion." Spencer said. You whined, "it hurts, everything hurts." You said. "I know, I know but I need to know you're okay. After that you can close your eyes again." He said. You forced your eyes open, looking up at spencer. You would've been so happy to see him but he looked horrible. He was disheveled and obviously been crying. He never cries, why was he crying?

"Follow my finger, okay baby?" He said. You did your best but it was hard. You kept having to close your eyes because the pain was too much. Spencer sighed, giving up, "you probably have a concussion. You can close your eyes now. Just relax, I've got you." He said, petting your hair gently in hopes it would help you relax. "What happened?" You asked after a few moments of silence. "The unsub we've been hunting... he got us. But I'll keep you safe, i promise." He said. "Spencer, we- we've been through this. We don't make promises," you said softly. You were right and Spencer knew that. You two never made promises in hopes you two could never be let down by the inevitable broken promises. He never promised to be home on time due to the fact that it was almost impossible that he would be home on time. You never promised to stay up for him because it was so hard to stay up late in hopes he'd be home on time. Promises were almost never kept, it wasn't ever anyone's fault. You both knew that.

"Is the team on the way?" You asked, hoping, praying they were closer than you thought. Spencer sighed, he didn't answer, instead just leaning down and kissing the top of your head. That wasn't a good sign. "Just relax, remember how you've been planning that beach trip?" Spencer said. "That was supposed to be a surprise," you sighed softly. "I know, but I saw your laptop.. I've been thinking about it ever since. I've never liked the beach but i think with you.. I could really enjoy it. Finding a nice shady spot where I can read and you can drink your fancy little cocktails you enjoy so much," he smiled at the thought. You tried to giggle but it hurt, that sounded so nice, so perfect. "Now, i refuse to get into the water.. but I know you would too. The ocean is so vast, so unexplored. You've always hated the unknown but who doesn't. It's a common fear, just like the dark, it makes sense. But it'll be me and you, on a white sandy beach, reading, talking, drinking. It's perfect." He said, never stopping petting your hair.

He kept talking but you couldn't hear it. You started to doze off and he could tell by how your body relaxed. Part of him was worried that if you fell asleep, you might not wake up. But he knew you were strong, you just needed to rest and if you could sleep, then it was best that you did. He couldn't sleep, he refused. He would not let his guard down. He wasn't going to let someone else be taken away from him. It had happened too many times before, he couldn't let it happen again. He stayed vigilant, keeping an eye on your breathing while also looking around the dark room for any escape or any object he could use to protect the two of you. There was nothing, it was a dark room with a bed in the middle. Not a nice bed, just a mattress thrown onto the floor. He noticed the shackles and his stomach turned in knots, he didn't even wanna think about those being used, especially not on you.

He enjoyed the silence, being able to hear your soft breathing brought him solace. He was as comfortable as he could be in a moment like this. It did worry him how long it had been since the unsub had done anything. Was the unsub out? Was he not home, the team had profiled that the unsub had a family so it made sense he wasn't here. But he didn't know what time it was. It had to have been day if the unsub wasn't here. It meant he was either at work or with his family. But he dreaded when the unsub would be back. He knew a little about how it would go. The unsub took couples, made them have sex before he killed them. He never kept them longer than 3 days. The time was ticking and it was breaking his heart.

You woke up after maybe a couple of hours, you weren't sure. You felt somewhat better. Your body ached but not as badly, your head hurt but you were able to open your eyes. You looked up at spencer. "Spence?" You asked, gaining his attention. "Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked gently. "Better... or as much better as I can be." You sighed. "That's good, how's your head? It stopped bleeding." He said, examining the cut on your forehead. "It hurts but not as bad.." you said. You tried to move but spencer stopped you. "Hey, hey, take it slow." He said. He helped you sit up, very slowly. "There we go, can you look at me?" He asked. You did as he asked. He gave you a gentle smile, moving hair from your face. "You seem a little pale, how's your stomach?" He asked. "I'm nauseous.. but I think it's from the pain." You said. "I understand." He said.

There was a loud buzzing noise making you cover your ears, the noise made your head hurt. A door opened, spencer turned to see the unsub wearing a mask. He sat down a tray of food, along with a bottle of water. He pushed them into the room before slamming the door shut. The noise made you jump. You opened your eyes, uncovering your ears. "What is that?" You asked. "Food.. water.." spencer slowly stood. This was new.. the unsub never fed his victims, never kept them hydrated. The ME reporter the victims had no food in their system for three days. This wasn't right. Spencer grabbed the tray and the water and brought it over to you. You went to reach for the bread but spencer stopped you. "It might be poisonous.." he said, you nodded before pulling back. Spencer inspected the bottle of water, he knew you needed water. Dehydration would only make the concussion worse. It hadn't looked like it had been tampered with. No small holes to indicate poison. No broken seal to indicate it would be replaced with something else. He even took the label off to further investigate but it looked clean. "Okay, take sips. Don't chug it." Spencer said, opening the water. He brought it to your lips, you took the bottle with shaking hands and did as he said, only taking sips of the water.

He went back to the food, he didn't trust it but it also wouldn't make sense to poison it if he was planning on keeping the two of you. "I'm sorry y/n.. I don't think we should eat it. It's not safe, too many variables." He said. You nodded and watched as he pushed the tray to the side. You offered Spencer the water but he shook his head, "you need it baby. Keep taking sips." He said. You wanted to fight him but couldn't, you didn't have it in you. You took a few more sips before closing the bottle and setting it down. "Spence.." you looked around the room, finally taking in your surroundings. It was like he could read your mind, you didn't have to say you were scared. He already knew. He saw it in your eyes. He saw it in the way your hands trembled. "I know.. but it's okay to be scared. It's a natural reaction to what's happening." He explained. You nodded. You pulled your knees to your chest, trying to bring yourself comfort in the cold, dark room. Spencer placed the sweater he had used to stop your bleeding around your shoulders. You took it happily, cuddling into the warmth. "Are you scared?" You asked. Spencer would never admit it, he was ducking terrified. The unsub was deviating from his MO and he didn't know what it meant. He didn't even know if this was the same unsub at this point. His mind was racing and he was so scared but he'd never admit it. He knew you weren't a profiler so he knew he could hide his emotions from you. But he wandered if it was even a good idea. "A little," he admitted, but that's all he gave you.

He was thankful when you didn't push him any further. You took his answer as it was and he was thankful. He wasn't sure what would come next, he had been through so many hostage situations but nothing like this. Nothing where he was stuck with the woman he loved more than anything, nothing where he might be faced to have sex with the woman he loved in a place that he never wanted it to happen at. He had made so many plans in his mind about his first time with you but he never went through with any of them. Not because he didn't want to but because work or his own anxiety got in the way. But he knew for a fact that this wasn't how he wanted it to happen.

The silence quickly ended though when there was another loud buzz, the noise made you shake. Once again the door opened. "Bring me the tray." The unsub said. Spencer grabbed the tray but stopped when the unsub pulled out a gun, pointing it at spencer. "Not you, her." The gun was now pointed at you. Your heart stopped, in reality, it sped up faster than it ever had. "I'm not sure she can stand, she's hurt." Spencer tried to explain but the unsub shook his head. "Bring me the tray or i shoot." He demanded. Tears brimmed your eyes. You stood shakily, spencer was sure you might fall. You didn't though. Spencer saw you about to bend down but he quickly grabbed the tray and handed it to you. Your legs were shaking as you walked. You walked slowly, scared you would fall. Your head pounded just like your heart. You brought the tray to the unsub. The gun was brought to your head and you cried out. "Do not kill her or i swear to god-" Spencer started but was cut off. "I wouldn't kill such a pretty little thing like this. So pure, so innocent. Does he know?" The unsub asked, the gun moving from your temple to under your chin. It didn't take a genius to put together what the unsub had said. But spencer already knew you were a virgin, you never had to say it. He could tell when you kissed, so unsure of yourself. He could tell when your hands shook as your tried to undo the buttons of his shirt for the first time. Every part of your body and how you reacted to him when you two made out screamed virgin, insecurity, unsure of yourself. He knew and you never even had to say it.

"Don't worry darling, I'll film it so you can watch it over and over again. See how he takes that pretty little flower of yours and tears it to shreds. Do you know what men think about when they see a virgin? They only think about one thing, absolutely ruining you. They wanna ruin you, they wanna tear you apart till you are nothing. Then they wanna throw you to the side because guess what? You aren't as special as you think you are, especially after you're no longer a virgin." The unsub said, gun still shoved under your chin. He used it to make you look up at him. "I wanted to tear you to fucking shreds the moment I saw you in that pretty pink dress. So young, so pure. How old are you? 25? Your birthday was recently, I remember the party. You got so drunk that spencer here had to carry you home. I'm surprised he didn't defile you then, take advantage of you. He must really love you if he didn't want to take you right then and there." The unsub said. Tears were streaming down your face by now, you could barely see. You tried to focus, not on his words but on his eyes. It was important to take in every detail you could incase you escaped so you could tell the team what you saw. His eyes were green, nothing special about them. There was nothing identifying about him, no different colored eyes, no black specks that you could place. There was nothing and you felt defeated. "Move back," the unsub said. You did as he said, and with that the door shut.

You couldn't move and neither could spencer. He replayed the whole conversation back in his head. The pretty pink dress he was referring to was the one you wore on your first date with spencer. He knew your birthday, he was at the party. The party was small, close friends and family only. He knew you were a virgin, no one knew that. Unless they were your close friend. This didn't make sense, how did he know so much. They didn't profile the unsub to be a stalker, he was a man that took couples of opportunity. He kept them for three days, never fed them or let them drink. This wasn't the original unsub.. this was someone totally different. This was a stalker, a man who had followed you around for days, months, at this point maybe even years. This was a whole different story, the team didn't know about him. The team wouldn't be here any time soon. And now he had no idea how long the two of you had to live. He had nothing, he had no profile, he had no clues. But maybe, just maybe you knew something.

"Y/n," spencer spoke but you were unmoving. He stood up walking over to you. You were like a statue, the only identifiable form of life was the way your hands shook. "Y/n," he grabbed your shoulders and turned you around to face him. He saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, his heart broke. "Do you know him?" Spencer asked. "His eyes were green spencer, that's all I could see. I couldn't- I didn't see anything else. Spencer I tried but there was nothing-" you were close to breaking down, going on a rant about how you tried so hard to place him. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You did good. You tried. Green eyes, that's good. That's a start." Spencer said, grabbing your shaking hands. He pulled you into his chest, "do you know anyone, any man with green eyes?" He asked. You shook your head, you couldn't place anyone because you couldn't even think straight. He had been watching you for so long and you never noticed and it scared the shit out of you. "Okay, that's okay. We can try something later after you calm down, okay?" He said and you nodded. Spencer brought you back over to the corner where the two of you sat before. He sat down, pulling you between his legs and holding you tightly. The tightness of his arms grounded you, the feeling of the cold floor against your legs also kept you grounded. "We will get through this, no matter what. Okay?" He said and you nodded.

You didn't even notice when Spencer started to speak, he was repeating a book to you. It took you a while to place it, but then you realized, he was quoting Alice in Wonderland, word for word. It was a childhood favorite of yours and he was doing it to comfort you. You buried your head in his arms, crying. As sobs shook through you, spencer held you tighter. He continued to quote the book, he knew it brought you comfort and he was gonna keep you grounded the best way he knew how to. He would never tell you how he was breaking. As time went on, he broke more. He had nothing, no clue about who the unsub was. He was so fucking scared and he didn't know what to do. He thought about trying to subdue the unsub but he had a gun, he could get shot, or worse, you could get shot. He had no way to get help. There were no windows. The door was dead bolted and connected to some sort of mechanism that made it impossible to unlock unless you had the button or passcode or whatever the fuck the unsub had. He was helpless, he had no team, no gun, no profile and no clues. It reminded him of when he was taken by Tobias Hankle. At least then he was able to talk to the unsub, reason with him and get help when needed. Now he had nothing. There was no reasoning with this unsub, his motives were clear. Fuck or Die.

It had become a waiting game, he was able to finish the whole book by the time you had worn yourself out to the point that you passed out. He was anxious, the only solace he found was in playing with your hair. It kept him calm, grounded. He tried to count the time but he kept losing count with every little noise he heard. His heart raced with every sound, so scared the unsub would come back and put the gun back to your head. The image of your body shaking and tears rolling down your face would be forever engrained in his mind. He didn't wanna remember you like that, he wanted to remember you as the sweet, smart girl he knew. The one he fell so hard for. The girl who was the only one who could help him sleep. No matter how many bad cases, bad nights and nightmares he had, he still found comfort in your arms, in the way you played with his hair and sang your favorite songs to him. He was never into pop music, love songs, but when you sang them, they were his own form of heaven. He replayed the songs in his mind as you slept. He never knew who they were by or what they were called but he could recall every single lyric.

It could've been hours by the next time the buzz came and the door opened. You jolted awake, god he wished you had stayed asleep. He didn't want you to go through it again, the gun to your head. "Come here," the unsub said, once again, gun pointed towards spencer. You moved out of Spencer's lap so he could stand up. He walked towards the unsub cautiously, trying to play through the scenarios in his mind. Ones where he'd grab the gun successfully and subdue the unsub. "Don't try to be smart now," The unsub said, gun now pointed at you. His heart sank, all possibilities of subduing the unsub now out the window. You cried again, knees pulled to your chest. "Don't shoot her, I'll cooperate." Spencer said, holding his hands un in defense. "Good," the unsub tossed spencer a pair of keys. Spencer caught them but was confused, he stared at the keys in his hand before looking up at the unsub. "Don't play dumb, you know what to do." The unsub motioned towards the shackles. "No, no, no, we don't need to do that. She'll listen. I promise she will." Spencer said. "What was that that she said earlier? We don't make promises?" The unsub said, spencer could hear the smirk in his voice. He had been listening the whole time.

"I won't- i can't tie her up, please. She- she'll be good. I'll make sure. Please," spencer pleaded. A shot rang out but thankfully it was just at the wall. You screamed, covering your ears. "Okay! Okay, don't shoot! It's okay!" Spencer's ears were ringing. You were quick to move, going over to the bed. You were sobbing and scared and Spencer knew that. He could feel it in every part of his body. He walked over to you, his own hands shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He grabbed your wrist gently, grabbing the metal cuff and placing it around your wrist. He locked it, he didn't want to but he did. Then he did the next wrist, he was so gentle, so calm. He had to be because he knew if you knew how truly scared he was, you would break. "There, okay, it's done." Spencer said, turning back towards the unsub. The unsub shook his head, "ankles too," he stated. Spencer felt defeated as he looked down at the bed seeing the shackles for your feet. Your legs were pulled to your chest, laying in the fetal position. "P-please don't, please. Please I'll be good," you cried out but the unsub shook his head. "No, do the ankles, now!" He yelled. You moved your legs to lay flat. You closed your eyes, squeezing them shut.

"Hey, hey, listen to me. We're on the beach, yeah? It warm, not too hot, we're not sweating. There's a cool breeze," he spoke as he put the shackles around your ankles. "It's not too cold though, it doesn't make us shiver. You have your music playing.. that one song with the lyrics about, god, what were the lyrics?" For once he couldn't think, he couldn't remember. "The one that goes, "we could leave the Christmas lights up till January," he said. You knew the song, you loved that song. "I-I never understood the lyrics.. leaving the Christmas lights up till January? Why would you do that?" Spencer tried to chuckle but his voice cracked. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. Once he was done with the shackles he looked back at the unsub. "Give me the keys," the unsub said. Spencer nodded, getting up and handing him the keys. With that, the unsub left.

Spencer was quick to be by your side. You broke, struggling in the restraints as you cried. "No, no, relax. You'll hurt yourself. You're already hurt enough, okay?" He said, you couldn't relax. You still struggled, crying. Spencer grabbed your face, "look at me, look at me," Spencer said. You opened your tired eyes, looking at spencer. "It will be okay, i won't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you. If I'm here, you're safe, I'll make sure of it." He said, stroking away the tears on your face. "I wanna go home," you cried. "That's a normal response-" you cried again, "stop! Stop it with the normal responses! This isn't normal! None of this is normal! Please, let me go!" You yelled out, trying to move again. It broke spencer, his eyes squeezing shut as his tears fell onto your shirt. "We'll be home soon, back in bed. Cuddling, watching movies. I promise we can watch a normal movie, none of the old timey russian movies. No need to translate. We can watch Mean girls, or- or some cartoons. We can watch anything you want." He said, trying hard to calm down and calm you down. "Remember- remember when you said you wanted a dog? And i complained, god, i don't know why I complained. We can get a dog now, okay? Any breed, i don't care. We can get a pitbull, a terrier, any dog toy want." He said. "A greyhound?" You asked, sniffling. "Yes, yes, a greyhound. We'll get a greyhound. We'll take him on walks together, bring him to the dog park. He can sleep in our bed, i don't care." Spencer said. He saw a smile from on your face. You leaned into his touch, "maybe we can get a cat too?" You offered. Spencer laughed, "of course, a cat too." He said. You smiled, your crying was slowing down but it didn't stop. He couldn't stop crying either, he tried but it wasn't worth it when he knew it'd start again.

"D-do you think- spencer," you didn't want to finish the sentence. You didn't quite know what you wanted to ask. "It's okay, take your time. We got all day," he tried to joke and it made you smile. "I never wanted our first time to be like this," you whispered. Spencer sighed, "I know, me neither. I wanted it to be with rose petals, music, maybe a nice dinner." He said. "Maybe on a beach," you whispered. Spencer smiled, "you were planning it, weren't you?" He asked, referring to the trip. "I was, but I never- we would never get the time." You giggled. "Your job sucks sometimes," you said. Spencer let out a broken laugh, "it truly does." He said. "But you know, sex on the beach is never what you expect it to be. Sand in places it shouldn't be, not to mention all the dieses in the sand." He said and once more you giggled. "Always ruining the moment," you said. "I never try to, maybe we could have that sex in the hotel room though, just to be safe." He said. "What about all the possible dieses in the hotel bed, huh?" You joked. "Way less than the ones on the beach." He said. You just shocked your head with a smile. "Maybe more than the ones on this bed," you said, really trying to joke. Spencer sighed, you didn't mean to bring the two of you back to reality but you did. You were faced with the horrible reality that you would lose your virginity on this possible dieses ridden bed covered in stains.

"How's your stomach?" Spencer asked, changing the subject. "I forgot about it.. was thinking about the beach, and the dog and the cat." You said. Spencer smiled at that. "Good, do you need some water?" He asked. "That would be nice," you said. Spencer reached over, grabbing the water you had left on the floor. He opened the bottle before placing a hand behind your head. He raised your head, helping you sip some water. You took a few sips before spencer pull the bottle away. "Better?" He asked and you nodded. He set the bottle down after closing it. "You haven't slept," you said and Spencer shook his head, "don't need to." He said. "That's a lie, you need sleep. You need all the energy you can get and you know that," you said. "I'll sleep when we leave." He said. "Spence, we don't know when that'll be. Please, just- just lay your head on my chest and sleep." You said. Spencer sighed, you were right, he needed sleep and he didn't know how long you two would be here. He reluctantly placed his head on your chest, it wasn't the same when you couldn't play with his hair. But then you started to sing, the lyrics flooding his brain. He could barely relax but it was enough to send him off to sleep.

You fell asleep too, you didn't mean to. You were just so tired, so worn out from struggling. You didn't know how long the two of you slept, nothing happened, the unsub never came it. It was a calm night, it didn't make sense but you decided not to think too much about it. Thinking made your head hurt. You woke up before Spencer, you went to play with his hair but the restraints stopped you. You wanted to cry again, realization had set back in as you remembered where you were. You clenched your first but stayed put, you didn't want to wake spencer. He needed rest, especially if he was going to somehow devise a plan to get the two of you out of there. He was your only hope, you trusted him though. You knew you would be okay.. maybe not now but eventually.

Spencer woke up shortly after you, looking up at you with a smile. He must've forgotten where he was as well. But you saw the realization set in. He was brought back to reality as he looked around the room. Nothing had changed which was good. But that still meant there was nothing to help him escape. Then the familiar buzzing came back. You dreaded that sound more than anything. The unsub walked in, gun in hand. He tossed scissors onto the ground. They were children's scissors, it could do damage but not enough to stop him from shooting. He thought maybe if he could get the scissors into his neck it would stop him but that wouldn't, nothing would stop a mad man from shooting the love of his life. He's learned that the hard way.

"The shirt," the unsub said, pointing the gun at the scissors then at you. Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, "please, I'll do anything if you just let her go." Spencer said. "No, the shirt." The unsub said. "We could make a deal, you- we- please," spencer didn't have a deal to make. He knew what the unsub wanted and he didn't know how to stop it. "Now!" The unsub yelled. Spencer gave in, you didn't cry out this time like you had before when you yelled. When spencer looked at you, he saw you broken, silently sobbing but not begging anymore. He wanted you to beg, he wanted to know you were still fighting, still willing to fight for your life, your purity. But you didn't, you were silent as you cried, eyes squeezing shut.

Spencer sat besides you, he used the scissors at the bottom of your shirt, slowly cutting the fabric. His hands trembled as he struggled to get through the material. He had seen this part of you before but not like this. Not when he was forced to. The unsub walked over to him, looking over his shoulder. "How pretty, beautiful untouched skin." He said. Spencer held the scissors so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Oh come on now," the gun was now to the back of Spencer's head. "You really don't wanna do that, you hurt me, I hurt you. Not enough to kill you, no, no. I would make you watch as i fucking tear her apart. You don't want that do you? You want it to be you, you want to be the one to take her sweet virginity. I know you do." He said, keeping the gun in place, the barrel placed against the back of his head.

"Not like This," spencer whispered. "Not like This? Are you sure about that? You think she's the only one I watch? I've seen you Dr. Spencer Reid. I've seen you, laying in bed, what dumbass keeps the blinds open?" He chuckled, "I watched as you jacked off to porn, to photos of her, she wasn't even nude in them. Scantily clad, but never nude. How perverted are you? I've seen the porn you watch, BDSM? I bet the shackles turn you on." The unsub said. Spencer was heartbroken. He didn't need this side of himself revealed, especially not to you. He would share those things, but not now. "They don't," spencer said. "Why not? You've watched girls suffer and enjoyed it. But not this?" The unsub said. "BDSM is based on consent. This isn't consensual." Spencer said. "I Can make it consensual." The unsub said. The gun was now pointed at you. "Beg," he said. "W-what? Beg for what?" You asked, trying to not let your voice crack but it wasn't working. "Beg him to fuck you, tell him you want it. Make it believable." The unsub said.

You looked at spencer, he couldn't even look at you. He was so ashamed of himself, so hurt and guilty. "P-please f-fuck me," you said, unconvincingly. "Make it believable!" The unsub yelled. There was that sob again, the one that wracked through your body and broke spencer. "P-please fuck me, please spencer, I need you, I want you. Please i want it," you cried, staring at spencer. He shook his head, "I can't, you don't want it. I can't," Spencer said, tears streaming down his face once more. "Fine, if you can't. Then i will!" The unsub shoved spencer out of the way.

You screamed, cried when you felt the unsubs hands on your body. It felt dirty, his hands were rough. You struggled in his grip on your sides. "Spencer, please, please!" You cried out. You couldn't see spencer through the tears in your eyes. But then you heard it. A shot fired and the body of the unsub fell limp on you. You screamed again, "help, help, help," you cried, squirming. You could feel the blood pouring out of the unsub and onto your body. Spencer quickly grabbed the unsubs limp body and moved him off of you. You were sobbing, shaking. Spencer kicked the gun away in case the unsub was able to get up. He grabbed the keys and quickly started to undo the shackles. Once your ankles and hands were free, you hugged spencer, hugged him so tightly you were sure he might not be able to breathe. "We need to get out of here, we need to find a phone," spencer said quickly, pulling back. You looked over at the body but spencer grabbed your face, "Don't look at him, look at me. We need to get out of here. Okay? Can you stand?" He asked. You weren't sure but spencer was already standing, pulling you up with him.

Your head started pounding again but you ignored it, leaning against Spencer's body as he guided you out of the room. He had to practically pull you up the stares. He opened the door, leading the two of you into a house. "I need to find a phone," Spencer said, leaving your side. You leaned back against the wall, falling down to the floor as you cried. You could still feel the unsubs hands on you, you could still see his lifeless body on the floor. The imagine would be engrained in your mind. The feeling of his hands would be burned into your brain. "The team is on there way," spencer said as he got down beside you. He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. "We're safe, we'll be safe soon. We're going home. We're gonna get that dog and that cat. We'll take that beach trip." He explained, keeping you close.

You didn't know how long it took for the team to get there. You were too busy shaking and crying in Spencer's arms, replaying the scene in your head over and over again. The door bust open making you flinch, you didn't scream, you didn't have it in you. "Spence, oh my god, spence," JJ said, running over to the two of you. "The ambulance will be here soon, okay?" She said. You couldn't open your eyes but you could hear the team moving through the house. You didn't want to open your eyes, you were so scared you'd see the body again. "Are you okay?" JJ asked. Spencer nodded then looked down at you, "She was hit in the head, im sure she has a concussion." Spencer said. "Is she bleeding?" JJ asked but spencer shook his head, "It's not her blood," he said. JJ was relieved. She loved Spencer and she loved you. Sure, spencer knew her first, but you felt closer to her than anyone else. "Ambulance is here!" Someone called out. "Okay, okay, we need to get you two checked out." JJ said.

Spencer started to move but you cried harder, clinging onto him. "No, no, no-" you cried. "It's okay, we're going to the ambulance. Okay, im staying with you." Spencer said. You reluctantly stood up with him. JJ was on your other side, helping you walk. You never realized how weak you were till now. Your feet drug against the ground, you felt limp, heavy. You hear hung as you walked. You were so tired. They helped you into the ambulance and laid you down. You clung onto Spencer's arm like a lifeline, afraid that if you let go, the unsub would be back, grabbing you, touching you.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," spencer said, grabbing your hand and holding it just as tightly as you were holding his. "I'll meet you two at the hospital," JJ said before leaving the car. Spencer just looked down at you, watching as the EMT's checked you out. You felt a hand on your stomach that wasn't Spencer's and you freaked out. "N-no! Please!" You squeezed your eyes shut. "D-don't touch her there!" Spencer said, shoving the EMTs hand away. "I was checking for bleeding," he said. "That's not her blood! Don't touch her there again!" Spencer was furious, these were the people that were supposed to keep us safe but yet they were making you relive the trauma. "I won't, i wont," The EMT said.

They hooked you up to IVs, checking you for a concussion which you indeed had. "She's dehydrated and in pain. We're giving her morphine. She'll fall asleep soon," The EMT said. Spencer nodded and his eyes never left you. You couldn't open your eyes, the lights were too bright and you were too tired to keep them open. "I'm here, I'm not leaving." Spencer said. You squeezed his hand to indicate you were listening. "Did you hear the doctor? You'll fall asleep soon but I'll be right here. I'm not leaving." You squeezed his hand again. Spencer knew the EMT wasn't a doctor but he wasn't about to make things more difficult for you to understand in your fragile state. You fell asleep soon after he told you what was happening.

Spencer was so tired, struggling to keep his eyes open as he watched you sleep. He refused to sleep, he couldn't bare having you wake up without him being awake as well. The doctors hooked him up to an IV after checking him out. He was fine, dehydrated but fine. He didn't have a concussion like you did, he wasn't stuck in shackles like you were. Sure, he had trauma but nothing as bad as you. He had been through the pain, the gun against the head, but you hadn't. This was all new to you and he knew you were about to go through hell when you woke up. You'd need years of therapy like he did. He worried you'd turn to drugs like he did but he would make sure you didn't. He do anything to help you cope but he wasn't going to let you do anything to hurt yourself.

You woke up after a while, eyes heavy as they opened. "Hey, hey, I'm here," he could see the way your hand moved frantically in search of his. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly. Your eyes finally opened and were met by his. "I wanna go home," was all you said. Spencer nodded, "we'll be home soon." Was all he said. You nodded, turning your head with a soft groan. You looked out the window, it was sunny out. You missed the sun. "I was thinking.. when we get home.. we should book that beach trip." He said. You didn't smile this time though, the beach trip no longer brought you comfort. That was ruined by the unsub. "Or, you know what.. maybe no a beach trip. Maybe somewhere more cozy, secluded. Maybe the mountains?" He said. You turned to face him, furrowing your brows. "I know, I don't have good memories with secluded cabins but i think you could change that. A nice cozy cabin, the rain hitting the windows as we cuddle up by a fire. Watching movies, listening to music, reading books. How does that sound?" He asked. A smile formed on your face, "that sounds perfect," you whispered. "Good, then it's a plan. We can set it up when we get home." He said. "And the dog?" You asked. "We'll look into adoption, same with the cat." He said. You smiled, tears brimming your eyes. "I love you," you said. "I love you too," he responded. He leaned in, giving you a soft kiss, things were hard but you knew with him, you could get through it.

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x you

[unfortunately-obsessed]

Really?? Happy Nation playing five seconds before shit hits the fan?? The fact the lyrics just tells you what's going to happen I- the whole dance sequence?? He wanted to make her his queen,,

And can you imagine how touch starved Rogue is?? Imagine not being able to touch people for your whole life?? The dance started so polite, they floating and Rogue's on control and then as soon he has the green lights Magneto losing all filter– sir you're in public

The whole "we're travelling in time" right before Cable shows up trying to prevent the massacre from happening (?) telling people to stop the music, just desperate before death falls from the sky

Leech saying "Callisto's going to save us" but we just saw Callisto's corpse going cold, then "If not her, then Magneto," and Erik dying trying to do save them. "They shall be avenged" and angry tears of Magneto

Erik having to go through it all again, Erik dying with his heart broken but still saving Rogue because he do love her, having to prevent Rogue from jumping into danger and having to prevent Gambit too because Gambit would follow her into the depths of hell (just like he would). The thousand-words stare, their locked eyes

At first one must've thought that the whole telepathic headshot aimed to Jean but taking into consideration how more fierce and visceral Madelyn's reaction was I think it was directed to her actually, and Jean felt because of some remnant of psych bond

Cable's "not again-" (did this happen before?? How many times did he try to prevent this from happening?) "I'm sorry, mom" towards Madelyn I– is she dead now?

Not the first time Rogue feels Gambit skin being the only time she can't feel him. Feeling his dead body growing cold, not breathing, not being able to feel him

"we would carry the dream but never live it" got me thinking that maybe Magneto is dead despite my best hopes, that maybe Rogue is going to assume as the queen of a broken dream, a devasted land and grieving people

"how many?" well, most of them. Dazzler probably, Callisto definitely, maybe Shaw, maybe Moira, maybe Banshee

The episode starts as a love letter to mutants, to Xavier's dreams, and ends up in a bloodied massacre

Nothing's good gonna happen if you see the Watcher sneaking up and known time travellers scrambling around

#x men 97 #rogue #magneto #episode 5 spoilers #xmen 97 #me!xmen #me!rambles

[lazy-drawn]

Merry Lil' Batman!

Just saw it and I can say that it was a good movie. It made me happy, laugh and tear up a little. It was enjoyable and would watch again. Not much of a review just a small rant of this movie, pointing out what I liked about it.

!!SPOILERS!!

Can I just how happy I am with how Bruce is just a good dad here. Like he's overprotective of Damian sure. But when father and son are together you can tell how much Bruce loves Damian.

Speaking of love as a Talia fan I'll be honest I was worried how she would be portrayed since we weren't given any hint of her in the trailer. But while we don't see her in the movie I'm just happy that they do mention her. And it is shown that Bruce does love her and she isn't the evil they have to fight (yes I worry everytime she is mentioned to appear). Here are three mentions:

Bruce's tattoo on his chest.

Bruce mention of how he felt when meeting her for the first time.

And the hinted she is alive but she must've given Damian to be raised by Bruce instead. Though she is a villian it doesn't seem Bruce or Damian feel resentment towards her.

Anyway with that out of the way. Another like is Damian having a cat. And while it might not be our regular tuxedo cat I'm they show Damian to be an animal lover. And you guess what her name is. Wonder who she was gifted by?

Now here are just some tear jerkers for me. The fact there are times that although not really stated what happened to Bruce's parents cause you know it's still a kid's movie I really like that they don't ignore it.

Ah! My heart in this scene made my heart break. Damian lost of Bat-dad. Why!? Baby boy is crying....🥲

If I was a little kid this would've scared me. This black and white with Damian running scared in a alleyway. Am I the only one that felt like it was a parallel to Bruce as a kid.

With this one I did break. Not only for this Damian but also my mind quickly went to comic book Damian. And if you know his comic stories and the life he was dealt with. If your a Damian fan and love this boy can you imagine he was like this once to. 😭 (WFA Damian and Lil' Batman are so lucky compared to comic Damian.)

Luckily Alfred was here! Another love for this movie is that not only do we feel the father and son love but you also feel it with Alfred. Our dear old butler (that I know some made fun of his design) that is much a father to Bruce and grandfather to Damian.

Not much else to say. Just pointing out the things I liked about this movie. It was a fun time and hope you give it a watch. Tell me what you liked about it if you've seen it.😄😊

#damian wayne #dc comics #robin #batman #batman and robin #bruce wayne #batfamily #merry little batman #amazon prime #Merry Lil' Batman #alfred pennyworth

[crazyhearttragedy]

Hi hi hi 👋 I love your works.. especially the divergent one.. can you maybe make an imagine of tris being inlove with four but didn't know he was in a relationship with the fem!reader who was pretty badass and was from amity.. she then came back from a mission after a week and the dauntless people made a party in celebration of my return.. here's a little plot twist tho.. Eric is in love with the reader but he doesn't admit it because he knows she's in a stable and commited relationship with four and she loves four very much... At the party the reader was dancing with four while Eric was watching them from afar tris came up to him and asked about the reader and when she finds out she gets heart broken... Here's a thing also the reader is also a divergent that is good at hiding it..

I really hope you can do this but I'm not forcing you it's alright if you don't hehe anyway have a nice day 😍

Taken- Four x reader x eric

Author's note: Thank you for your request! Here's your imagine!

Tris couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as she watched Four and the Amity girl dancing together. She had been secretly in love with Four for a long time, but she had never told him. She thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about her. But now, as she watched him with the other girl, she was starting to realize that her hopes had been in vain.

It wasn't that she was jealous of the other girl. In fact, Tris had grown to like her a lot. She was kind, brave, and smart - everything Tris admired in a person. But she couldn't help feeling a little sad that Four had chosen someone else.

Tris was lost in thought when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Eric standing behind her.

"Hey, Tris," he said with a smile. "Having fun?"

Tris forced a smile in return. She didn't particularly like Eric - he was arrogant and had a tendency to be cruel - but she didn't want to be rude, either.

"Yeah," she replied. "It's a nice party."

Eric nodded. "Yeah, it is. Though I can't help but notice that you don't look very happy."

Tris bit her lip. She didn't want to tell Eric about her feelings for Four - she didn't trust him enough for that - but she didn't want to lie, either.

"I'm okay," she said after a moment. "Just lost in thought."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

Tris hesitated. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him, but something in Eric's expression made her feel like he might understand.

"Four," she admitted quietly. "I… I like him. A lot. But he's with someone else now."

Eric's expression softened. "I know how you feel," he said. "Believe it or not, I've been in your shoes before."

Tris was surprised. She had always assumed that Eric was too confident and self-assured to feel anything as vulnerable as love.

"Really?" she asked.

Eric nodded. "Yeah. I fell in love with someone once… but they were already committed to someone else. It hurt, but I had to accept it and move on."

Tris felt a pang of sympathy for Eric. Despite his flaws, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That must've been tough."

Eric shrugged. "In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. What matters is that we both find our own happiness, even if it's not with the person we thought we wanted."

Tris nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's just hard sometimes."

Eric put a hand on her shoulder. "I know," he said. "But I promise, it does get easier."

As they talked, Tris couldn't help but notice Four and the Amity girl out of the corner of her eye. They looked happy together - it was obvious that they cared deeply for each other. Tris knew that she couldn't compete with that, no matter how much she wanted to.

But in that moment, she realized that maybe she didn't need to. Maybe she could find her own happiness, with someone who loved and respected her for who she was.

It was a comforting thought, and it helped ease the ache in her heart, if only a little.

"Thanks, Eric," she said after a while. "I appreciate you talking to me."

Eric smiled. "Anytime," he said. "You're a good person, Tris. And one day, someone will see that and love you for it."

Tris smiled wistfully. "I hope so," she said.

As she watched Eric walk away, Tris realized that maybe Eric wasn't such a bad guy after all. Maybe, in his own way, he was just as lost and confused as she was.

But for now, all she could do was try to move on and find her own happiness in life. And maybe, just maybe, someday she would.

#y/n #eric colter x reader #erik coulter #eric coulter x reader #divergent imagines #divergent x reader #divergent #divergent fanfiction

[dearestro]

Flirtatious Feelings Part 2

Summary: Reader has just started working at Princeton-Plainsboro and after seeing the cute older doctor. Well, she decides to have some fun...who knew it would turn into more?

Warnings: Innuendos and crude language.

Gif is not mine. I found it on Google. If it is yours and you do not want me to use it please tell me, and I'll take it down!

Part 1

Your Pov

"Should we make this interesting?" I asked as we set up the pool table. He paused and looked up at me. 

"How so?" I smirked at his cautiousness.

"Mmm...winner gets a prize?"

"Yeah...ok." He chuckled softly.

We had finished playing pool (I won) and left the bar. James was walking me to my apartment and we stopped just outside my door. I was about to go in when I stopped to turn and look at him.

"I forgot about my prize!" I feigned a gasp. 

"Right! Let's say....twenty bucks?" He started to pull out his wallet, but I shook my head and laughed.

"Or...we could do this?" I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him gently enough that he could pull away if he wanted to. After a few heavenly seconds I pulled back, he seemed to linger in the air, eyes closed. I smiled. "Thanks for the date." I said before entering my apartment and closing the door behind me. My back hit the door before I turned to peer out the keyhole. I laughed at the sight outside of the door. James was doing a goofy but cute victory dance. I opened the door and just watched as I leaned on the doorway. He suddenly turned and saw me.

"Can we forget you just saw that?" He blushed as he stopped dancing. I laughed.

"Nope." I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before going back inside. "Goodnight, Jimmy!" I called to him.

"I regret nothing!" He shouted through the door, I could only imagine how crazy he must've seemed to the neighbors as I laughed to myself at the man's antics. 

Wilson's Pov 

I sat in my office thinking about last night when House barged in.

"How was your date?" I frowned at him in confusion.

"How did you-"

"Oh, cut the crap. A little birdy told me. Besides, you are way too happy for seven in the morning." I rolled my eyes at him. "So, did you score? Is that hot bod just as sexy naked as it is clothed?"

"That is none of your business." I said apparently a little too defensively. 

"So that's a no. What did little Wilson not feel up to it? Doesn't work like he used to? Or did she finally snap to her senses and realize you're not her type?" I scoffed and walked over to him.

"I'll have you know my-" I quickly cut myself off as I saw her walking towards my office. 

"Your what? Your penis?"

"Who's penis?" I felt my face heat up, and I could only imagine how red I must've been. I tried to say something anything, but House beat me to it.

"Wilson's." She looked between the two of us before quickly hiding her shock.

"Right...anyways..." She averted her eyes and slightly blushed at the situation.

"I'll be going now. You know how it is. Patients to ignore and people to hide from." He finally left but not before turning at the doorway and giving me an over exaggerated wink and thumbs up. I rolled my eyes. In moments like these, I wish he would drop dead...or that I would. Either or.

Your Pov

Upon hearing what House said, I felt my cheeks burn up, and I looked to the ground. Thankfully, he left soon enough. I was still concentrating on my shoes when James spoke up. 

"You'll have to e-excuse him. He's insane." The corner of my mouth twitched up in amusement. "When he said- he meant-" I looked up to find him struggling to find the words, but I quickly cut him off.

"It’s ok. We don't have to talk about 'it' Dr. Wilson." I said, referring to the previous conversation I had walked in on. I smiled slightly at him, trying to ease the tension, but his face fell. "Maybe we should get to work?"

"Yes! Of course." He said quickly composing himself.

Wilson's Pov 

After a long morning it was finally lunch. I ate in silence waiting for House to inevitably join me. After all how could he possibly make the day worse?

He eventually came and sat down across from me. We continued to sit in silence until he made a move for my sandwich, but I quickly moved it out of his reach and continued to eat.

"What? You're mad?" He asked as if it was absurd to be upset with him. I ignored him. "The silent treatment? Really? What are you, a woman?" I rolled my eyes at his sexist comment.

"You don't get it, do you? I really like her, and all you do is embarrass me." He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "No! I'm serious! You know what she called me after you left? 'Dr. Wilson'." He let out an over exaggerated gasp.

"Noo! She called you your name! What a bitch!" I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm.

"Yesterday she was calling me Jimmy and kissing me. Today, nothing!"

"And you blame me?"

"Yes!" I shouted a little too loud as I threw down my sandwich. Everyone in the cafeteria looked towards our table. He scoffed and was about to protest when someone sat next to me. I looked to my right to see her.

"Hey, sweetheart!" She leaned over to kiss my cheek. I was stunned. 

"I'll leave you two to talk. See ya Jimmy!" House said as he took off with the remainder of my lunch. I swallowed as I gained the courage to turn and face her.

"'Sweetheart'?" I asked hesitantly. She paled.

"Yeah...if-if that's ok, of course." I nodded.

"It-it's great! I'm just...a little confused..." She quirked a brow. "I mean, this morning, it was all, 'Dr. Wilson' this and 'Dr. Wilson' that...I-I thought that that meant last night was a-a fling...of sorts." I stammered as a look of understanding came over her.

"No!" She said quickly. "I mean no, I don't want it to have just been a fling." She took a deep breath. "I really like you it's just this morning we were working, and I guess I thought it best to remain professional? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, James." My face flushed as I realized my assumption was wrong. 

"No, it's ok! I uh... I should've figured that out." I looked down at my lap trying to avoid her gaze, but she took my chin in her hand and made me look at her.

"That's alright. I probably should've clarified earlier, especially since it was just the two of us, and this is so...new." I relaxed under her touch.

"Maybe we could talk it over? Tonight? If that's not too soon..." I hastily added trying not to seem desperate.

"I can't. I have plans." I frowned a little at the rejection. "But I'm free tomorrow." I grinned. 

"Perfect! After work?" I asked. She leaned in and pecked my lips.

"Of course." Her hand dropped to the table. "I saw House take your lunch..." I grimaced a little at the reminder. "Do you want to share mine?" 

Your Pov 

I lay in bed, staring at the man across from me. He was sleeping so peacefully. 

"Honey, you're staring." He murmured, his eyes still closed. I rolled my eyes. "What are you thinking about?" He opened his eyes and looked at me. I smiled and put my hand on his cheek.

"The first week we met." He laughed lightly.

"That's not good. I was a total dork. I still can't believe you went out with me." I chuckled and patted his cheek.

"Don't worry, Jimmy. You're still a goofy dork." He rolled his eyes at my response.

"Gee thanks."

"Do you remember that conversation I walked in on? My second day?" He nodded. "Well, now that we're married...I can personally vouch that there is nothing 'wrong' with your penis." His face turned red, and I kissed his nose.

"You-you heard that conversation?" 

"House told me soon after, but I didn't want to embarrass the hot guy I had just met, so I kept it to myself." He shook his head in disbelief. 

"I'm gonna kill him." I laughed as he blushed furiously. 

#dr wilson x reader #dr wilson x you #james wilson x reader #james wilson x y/n #james wilson x you #fanfic #fanfiction #james wilson #james wilson fanfiction #house md #house md fanfiction #rsl #robert sean leonard

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Everything I Never Told You

(Part three)

Series masterlist

Warnings: Angst, and angst, and angst. Really at this point I'm just being mean. Uh, a little fluff. Slow burn. Yup, that's about it.

You needed to take a step back and regroup your thoughts. You were torn. You felt uncomfortable in the clan, like you were invading their home, but a little pebble in your heart felt like you belonged.

So, you retreated into a tent of your own. That's where you sit now, arms around your knees, mind and heart at war over what you should do next.

You want to be here. Really, you do. You like this place. You like the atmosphere, you like the freedom, you like the peace, you like how you fit in.

And the people...they only add to that sense of belonging. Especially since they all seem overjoyed to have you back. Everyone's tried talking to you, tried having conversations or simply greeting you, but you can't keep up. It takes you a while to understand, let alone to respond without messing up your words. And the fact that they all talk over you, over each other, only makes it that much more difficult to communicate. But the way they treat you, the way they're patient with you, the way they slow their talking to help you...it makes you feel accepted, cared for.

You really must've been a good person for them to care about you like this.

Can I be that person again?

Jake told you about his idea. “Maybe,” he'd said, “if we keep you around the Omaticaya, your memory will come back.”

You'd frowned. “What do the Omaticaya have to do with my memory?”

He'd hesitated, tail slowly moving from side to side. “Once, before, you told me being around the Omaticaya was the only time you'd felt at peace,” he'd informed you.

That had been enough for you to agree.

As you think about the conversation, someone calls your name from outside the tent—Jake.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you answer him.

He walks into your tent, holding a few items in his hands. He looks at you, sitting on the ground, and wordlessly lowers himself beside you.

“You know you don't have to stay if you don't want to,” he tells you gently. “You can back out any second; no one will think less of you for it.”

You smile at him softly. “It's not that I don't want to stay,” you admit. “I just...I don't know who I am. It's like there are two of me—the one who belongs here, and the one who belongs with the humans.”

He raises a hand to your face, pushes a strand of hair aside. Your ear flicks at the feeling of his skin on yours. “What do you feel like you should do?”

You sigh quietly. “I...I think I should—”

“No,” he cuts you off. “Don't think it through, the mind is too afraid of taking risks even if it's for the better. What do you feel you should do?”

You glance at him, keeping your eyes on his, your heart speeding up at how wide his pupils get every time he looks at you.

What do I feel like I should do?

You imagine yourself going back to headquarters, falling back into the mundane routine, sitting for meals where you don't belong and everyone can tell, lying in a cold bunk in a room full of people who are so different from you, it makes you feel like you're broken.

You imagine just returning. Pretending you never ran into Jake in the first place. Pretending he doesn't make you feel like that before is right there, on the surface, for you to just grab. Pretending you won't compare your fellow military to the Omaticaya people. Pretending you can be happy while oppressed by the humans' unkindness, by their thirst for revenge, their destructive ambition.

How could you ever pretend to not feel that you belong here? How could you ever go back to what your life was when you've seen the life you can have here?

“I feel like staying,” you inform Jake.

His eyes shine, a smile slowly growing on his lips. “I'm glad,” he tells you, quietly, as his tail swings excitedly. His eyes fall to the items in his hands and he seems to realize just now that he has them. “Uh, here,” he tells you, clearing his throat. “These are for you. It's...it's a loincloth and one of those, uh, beady-top...thingies.”

You blink at him, glancing down at the items in his hands. “Oh, uh, okay. Thanks,” you tell him, accepting the attire.

He nods softly, standing up, his eyes not leaving yours. “I'll...be waiting outside. If you need anything, like help with your clothes or—” he cuts himself off, looking flustered. “I mean, not that I—Not that—Purposely, I wouldn't—I'll just be outside if you need anything.”

He walks out of your tent, leaving you there on your own, trying to figure out how to put these clothes on.

-

Jake stands outside your tent, making a face at himself.

Stupid, he thinks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How are you going to tell her you'll help her get dressed? Way to make her feel comfortable around you, idiot.

He sighs at himself. He's trying to be nice to you, he's trying to do everything right in hopes that you'll fall for him. He's trying to be perfect for you, but he just can't seem to keep his brain in his skull when he's around you. It's like you're some sort of divine phenomenon that messes with his head, that severs the connection between his brain and the rest of his body, and leaves him to follow nothing but his heart.

His ridiculous heart that is racing within his chest, making his tail swish erratically, forcing his breaths to become hurried and irregular.

He hears you inside the tent, cursing softly, huffing at yourself, sighing, groaning in frustration. He understands that perfectly. When he first had to put a loincloth on, it was hell.

It's a long while that he stands there, waiting for you to walk out. But you never do. You simply continue sighing, huffing, cursing.

Eventually, you call his name.

“Jake?” You sound almost timid as you speak.

His heart leaps, his stomach somersaulting. “Yeah?” he calls back, his ears hyper focused on you.

“I...I can't get this on,” you mutter.

He feels his heart speed up even more. How is that even possible? How is he not dead with how fast his pulse is?

“Do you want me to get Neytiri to help you?” he offers, fiddling with his fingers anxiously.

“Uh...I mean, I'd prefer it if you could help me, but if you can't...”

He can barely hear you after that. His heart is loud in his ears. He can hear his own breathing, too. His mind spins, his tail swooshes, and he can feel nervous excitement lick over his body.

“I can help you,” he tells you softly, gently pushing his way into the tent. You stand in the center, your now-bare back to him, holding the loincloth up around your hips.

Jake feels the breath leave his lungs. I'm dead, he thinks to himself. I'm dead and gone to Eywa. There is no earthly creature alive that's this beautiful...

He approaches you carefully, terrified of doing anything to make you uncomfortable or to scare you off.

He places his hands over yours, on your hips, and gently slips his fingers past yours to grab the thin string of the loincloth. You flinch gently, your tail swishing with unease. His fingers skim the skin of your hips as he ties the string softly, gently. He traces your hips, his heart jumping out of his chest and into his throat, the feel of your body sending shivers up his spine. The feeling is ethereal, unreal, wonderful and terrifying. He can't believe you're here. He can't believe he's touching you. He can't believe Eywa has blessed him like this.

When he's done with the loincloth, he asks, “The top?”

You point at the ground a few feet in front of you. “Left it there,” you reply, a mere whisper, almost as if you, too, were afraid of breaking this atmosphere.

Jake walks past you, picking the item up and turning back to you. His eyes avoid your naked body even though you've covered yourself from him.

He stands behind you again. He gently brushes your hair aside with one hand, sliding it over your shoulder before wrapping the string of the top around your neck. You shudder as his fingers touch your shoulders and slide across to your neck. He ties the top, quietly questioning, “Is it too tight?”

You shake your head, a miniscule movement. “No. It's good,” you answer, your voice so low, he won't be able to hear you if he breathes any harder.

The outfit is done. You're all dressed. He has no reason to keep his hands on you, but he can't help it. It's like something takes over him, keeping him behind you, making it impossible for him to leave. His fingers skim down to your shoulders again, caressing you there, before sliding down your arms until his hands find yours and he intertwines your hands with his.

And it seems whatever's taken over him is possessing you as well. You lean towards his touch, lightly resting your back against his chest, letting his chin fall to your shoulder. His breath fans on your neck, and you're too close to not kiss.

So he kisses you. On the shoulder, softly, shyly, carefully. You shudder again, letting his lips explore you.

His mouth moves up to your neck, trailing the path with kisses and little licks. Your skin is hot on his mouth, goosebumps pricking your body. He wraps his arms around your waist, his fingers still intertwined with yours. He pulls you closer, and you allow it.

He's so privileged, he decides. He's so privileged for you to let him kiss you, and hold you, and dress you. He's so privileged to have met you in the first place. He's so privileged to have gotten to know you. He's so privileged to have fallen in love with you. He's so privileged for Eywa to have returned you.

He's so privileged to be with you in reality and not just in another one of his dreams.

His mouth traces the sharp tip of your ear, making you sigh softly. Your tail curls around his calf, your hands squeezing his.

He moves his lips back to your neck, gently bites down on the skin there, and you jerk slightly.

“Jake,” you whisper, and he hums in response as his lips kiss under your jaw. “Did you go to that place—the one I found you in today—only to visit my tomb?”

His little kisses on your jaw and neck stop. His ears fold back as he replies, “Yes.”

He can feel the way you breathe heavily. He can sense your pulse. Your entire body starts racing, your breaths growing thicker, your heart speeding.

“Why?” you ask him, still whispering.

“I...I couldn't let you go,” he admits, closing his eyes with force, still terrified this is a dream, still fearing he'll wake up soon and find you're six feet too far.

“Why?” you insist, almost as if you know there's something he's not telling you.

Because I love you.

His tail flicks anxiously. “I...You were one of the most important people in my life,” he says instead.

But he's holding back so much.

You were my entire world. You were what kept me going. You were home. You were happiness. When I lost you, I lost everything. The only way I could ever be close to you while I was awake was by visiting your final resting place. You were gone without saying goodbye, and I was left confessing to your headstone everything I should have told you.

“I guess I just...had a lot of things to say, and not enough time to say them,” he adds, his lips right beside your ear. “I was hoping you'd hear me. Hoping you'd grant me closure and found your own.”

Your ears fall back against your head and you softly say, “It seems to me like it didn't work.”

You don't say it unkindly, but the atmosphere slowly cracks and falls away, leaving both of you starkly aware of how neither of you is in control in this moment. It's like the force that possessed you drifts off, seeping out of your bodies and reminding you that you're both strangers to one another, not friends, and barely acquaintances.

Slowly, Jake releases you and you step away from him. You turn to face him and quietly offer, “Thanks for helping me with...” You gesture at your new attire.

“Yeah, it's-it's no problem,” he replies. His eyes take a quick once-over of you, and he smiles gently. “You look so pretty,” he says softly, blushing a little.

You smile back, bashful. “Thanks.”

He stands there for a while longer, trying to stretch out the moment, trying to make it last forever.

He has to wake up eventually.

“Come on, I'll give you a little tour to help you get an idea of your surroundings,” he tells you, nodding for you to follow as he ducks out of your tent.

------

The people are so kind, you're surprised by it every time. As Jake leads you around the clan, the people wave at you, smiling; little kids run to you, hugging you, leaping at you, talking to you in Na'vi too fast for you to understand, so Jake translates and helps you communicate with them.

The fact that the clan has hoards of modern weapons—guns, rifles, grenades—does not escape your attention. You remember hearing word at headquarters about shipments being intercepted, weapons stolen...

Apparently, it was their doing.

The Omaticaya have the power to attack the humans, and yet...they never have.

Bloodthirsty blue monkeys. Savages, animals, beasts, monsters.

Wasn't that what they had told you about the Na'vi?

Lies, lies, lies. Because from what you can see, these people are the kindest, sweetest beings you've ever met. They're patient, benevolent, soft with the way they behave around you. It's like they know what you've been through and are simply trying to help you, to tell you, it's okay, you're safe with us.

As eclipse nears, Jake takes you on his ikran, up to the top of one of the Hallelujah Mountains for you to look over the entirety of Pandora in all its splendor during dusk.

As you sit beside him, caressing the gentle pasture that grows on the surface of the rock, you wonder, “What were you like before?”

He glances at you, his ears twitching with every call of animals from far below. “Before what?” he asks, eyes studying you closely.

You meet his gaze. “On earth,” you clarify. “Who were you?”

Jake sighs softly, turning his eyes to the landscape. “Marine,” he replies. “Ex-marine, actually. I...sustained an injury to my spine, lost motor in both my legs.” He shrugs. “I started the Avatar program in hopes of going back to earth and getting the funds necessary for my surgery. I found a home here instead.”

You look at him, amazed. Found a home here instead. Somewhere, deep in your mind, those words resonate with you, as if it weren't the first time you've heard them.

“Did I...Was I able to find my home here, too?” you question.

Jake's eyes flutter over to you and you can see he hesitates.

-

Yes, Jake wants to tell you. Yes, you did. You found a home here, and you helped me find mine.

You had been the first one to make this place your home, to find everything you'd been looking for in here. He'd simply followed after you. But you don't remember it, none of it, and he's not sure it's a good idea to give you answers to questions he isn't in a position to respond. You have to find your own answers, and he doesn't want to get in the way of you making up your own mind.

He sighs, doesn't answer.

-

“Jake?” you insist, eyeing him.

“I don't know,” he finally replies. “I...I like to think that you did, but you never got the chance to tell me if you did or if you didn't.”

I died before I could decide, you think to yourself.

What others things had you missed? What other plans did your death cut off? How many opportunities has been robbed from you because of your death?

“Oh,” you say softly.

Jake releases a tiny exhale. “I'm sorry I can't give you the answers you need,” he offers. “I wish I could help you more, but...”

Your eyes move to him again. He could help you. In your tent, when he'd held you, touched you, kissed you...it was almost like some part of you knew something, remembered something from before, and you'd felt...safe in his arms. Like a piece of the puzzle had fallen into place—like the only piece that mattered had been found.

“Don't worry about it,” you say instead. “Bringing me here, to the Omaticaya people, hoping to jumpstart my memory...That's more than enough, Jake. Truly.”

He glances over at you and places a large hand over yours. A little shock goes through you, warming your skin. You lean in a little, considering placing your head on his shoulder, but you stop yourself.

No, don't push it.

-

Jake feels you lean in. He can sense the ghost of your head against his shoulder, can feel his arm around you, can sense himself pressing a kiss to your forehead.

But he sees you stop short, hesitating over it, not leaning against him.

His heart squeezes itself as pain scorches it, fueled by anger towards the Sky People for taking you from him in the first place and returning a version of you that's troubled, uneasy, constantly at war with herself...He's never hated them more than he does now.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and moves to release your hand from his grip, but your hand races after his and holds onto him.

His eyes race to you and he finds that you look as surprised as he feels.

-

What. The. Fuck.

Your mind thinks of nothing more than those three words. Your hand stays on his for a few seconds, but it feels like years, until you seem to regain control of your limbs and release his hand.

“Sorry—” you start, ears folding back, but as soon as your hand is off his, Jake grabs you again.

Your eyes snap up to his, and he holds your gaze as he intertwines your fingers. Your heart skips various beats, your ears jumping to attention as you look at him.

He leans in, lips coming dangerously close to yours, and your heart races even more.

“I don't wanna fuck this up,” Jake whispers at you. “I don't wanna scare you off. But I...” He clears his throat. “I've missed you so much. And I have too many things to say. And...I'm terrified...”

Terrified they'll take me away again before you can say everything you need to tell me?

“You don't know me,” you whisper, eyes falling down to Jake's lips before meeting his amber gaze again. “You...don't know me.” And the second time you say it, it's like you realize it.

You pull away from him—well, you mean to, but you fail when Jake whispers your name.

“I do know you,” he says quietly. “I know you.”

-

I love you, he thinks to himself. Please let me be with you, let me love you, let me hold you. You don't understand how much I've missed you. I know you feel this, too.

And he can see you're allowing yourself to fall into him, to give in to whatever this pull is. You let him tug you closer, let one of his hands rise to your face and cup your cheek, rub over your cheekbone...His other hand holds yours tightly, fingers intertwined. His lips inch closer to yours, amber eyes scanning your gaze for any signs of hesitance, anything that tells him you don't want this.

But the way you look at him with those big eyes, widened pupils, the last rays of day shining in your irises...You're wordlessly asking him to kiss you, almost inviting him to you, and he can't say no.

He has every intention of doing it, of kissing you and holding you close and telling you he loves you. He's not in control of his mind anymore, not in control of his hands or his racing heart or his ragged breaths. He can only feel himself leaning towards you, aching for you, finally...finally...he feels he has you.

Eclipse falls. The day's light flashes away. Animals call to each other in the forest, the wind whistles through the leaves. He can't pay attention to anything but his thumping pulse, and then...

A soft sound, familiar, echoes through the air and reaches both of you. A howl, a little more high-pitched, a silent message traveling through the forest.

Your ears perk at the sound, his do too.

It takes Jake a moment to get rid of the haze that blurs his mind, but once he does, he realizes that you two have to get back.

His ears fold back, he sighs. “They're calling everyone back,” he tells you, releasing you from his grip, feeling the cold air rush over him at the loss of contact with your skin. “We've implemented curfews 'cause of the Sky People, to prevent any incidents with them, so we all have to be back by eclipse. And that's the sign that curfew is beginning.”

Your ears fall, your tail ceasing it's nervous swishing and resting against the rock. “Right,” you say, clearing your throat. Then, sounding completely unaffected by what just happened, you question, “Have there been many nighttime attacks from the humans?”

Jake swallows down everything he wanted to tell you. He swallows down the need to kiss you. He swallows down the ache he's been harboring all these years for you.

He shrugs and replies, “A few. Nothing too serious, but we prefer to prevent even the slightest accidents.”

You nod slowly, your eyes avoiding his.

Fuck, Jake curses in his mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why do I wait so long? I'm gonna lose her again if I keep waiting. Fuck.

“Let's go,” he says, his ears still folded back, as he stands. He offers you a hand to help you up, but you get to your feet on your own. He leads you back to his ikran and helps you on it before hopping up himself.

The animal takes to the sky. Even though your arms are around him and your body leans against his, something in Jake has never felt as far from you as he does now.

@spicycloudsalad @arminsgfloll @mashiromochi

#avatar jake sully #avatar #avatar fanfiction #fanfic #jake sully #jake sully x reader #reader insert #jake sully fluff #jake sully angst #avatar angst #angst with a happy ending

[fizzy-dizzie]

Trans Sam headcannies blink blink batting eyelids (BC I don't talk abt the TRUTH enough)

Binders wouldn't have been super accessible in the 90s-00s so I imagine he used some less safe methods.

He'd bind for wayyy longer then he was ment to

If he was on a hunt he kinda didn't have many options

He'd sit on the bed finally when they got back to a motel and just breathe deep breaths for a while

His ribcage just perpetually hurt, he was used to it

He started T in college and got top surgery not long after

Dean had known about him being trans long before Sam left for college but he didn't really understand how serious Sam was about it until he came to get Sam to find his dad and 'oh my god that's a whole ass man'

Dean helped him cut his hair real short tho when they were young

John was not very impressed when that happened

John didn't know until they saw eachother post college

John didn't really get it. He was a very 'your ruining your body' type dad but honestly I think he would have had bigger problems on his mind to make a big fuss out of it (John winchester makes a big fuss out of everything so maybe more, he wouldn't make a MASSIVE fuss)

Sam was disappointed about his dad's lack of support but it was expected

Dean was very impressed by the top surgery job. Actually, considering he had never even seen one before, he was probably amazed.

Sam used to do research about what a trans person was in libraries on the computers

Most of his gender envy (/jealousy?) would have come from dean

Sam didn't really realise till he hit his pre-teen years

But he only found a name for how he felt at like 13-14

He told Dean about a year later

"I don't really understand much of what your saying, but if that's how you feel I just want to know that if that's what makes you happy.. I can get behind that, okay?" -Dean

Sam didn't cry but he gave Dean a massive hug. Emphasis on DID NOT cry those little water marks on Dean's shirt must've already been there.

Sam could only get so much from the internet so when he met another trans guy at college he was super excited and was able to learn a lot

He hated it when the showers in motels had mirrors right across from them

He'd leave the fan off intentionally so the mirror would fog up

#i wonder if young sam had known about angels would he have prayed to be a boy? #would he have begged and asked why he couldnt have been born right? #would he have gotten any answers? #or would angels see him for a sinner and never respond #would he still have his faith in god then? #trans sam winchester #trans sam truther #sam winchester ftm #sam winchester headcanon #sam winchester #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #internalised transphobia #but just like a lil #internalized transphobia #internalised? internalized? #idk #t boy swag

[sunflowersoap]

I know the way basil, sunny, and aubrey feel about mari's death is a lot more obvious in Canon but I really like the little bits of how they show the brothers problems too.

kel doesn't seem to be close with anyone now. he mentioned that hero is more closed off than before. he didn't think sunny would answer but still was obsessively knocking on that door. he was still clinging onto the idea that he and basil were still friends. he mentions that his parents didn't even notice that he was crying, just went right to hero. nobody notices when kel is sad except hero, and hero is more closed off now. so I can only imagine how alone kel felt. and aubrey only attacks *kel* in that first fight. so he was,,, really really isolated. I think he tried to take on hero's role after he fell into that depression. happy and peppy and keeping everyone's spirits up high. and the more he fails to do it, the more useless he feels. the more he feels helpless. he ignores the problems because he feels like there's nothing he can do to fix them. he feels so weak. so he ignores the problems. ignorance is bliss, and if he doesn't keep moving he'll fall apart. so he doesn't let himself stop for even a second. he's trying to make everything be normal again. he doesn't know how.

onto hero. look at how much he puts on a charming golden child persona. this could very much be me projecting, but I'm imagining he got so fucking exhausted looking after everyone else. he's always the one stopping fights and solving everyone's problems and keeping everyone together. and overtime the anger from that can build up, leaving you so exhausted to the point where you don't have the energy left to care. he's always expected to be the golden kid. the charming, kind hero. no wonder when he started feeling like shit, the feeling hit him hard. he probably spent so many nights wondering what he could've done to get through to mari. if it was his fault for not realizing she felt like that. if he'd done something to make her want that. how exhausting it was for him to pretend to be happy and charming, to be supportive of everyone and go back to being the go getter charming little hero. he must've been so fucking tired. tired of fixing everyone's problems, tired of never being listened to, tired of everything. that frustration of not being listened to turned into anger, and it all came out at the mention of mari. (still really not great of him! not excusing his actions!)

basically, hero and kel both hide and repress their emotions for different reasons and they're such fascinating characters.

#kel omori #omori kel #omori hero #hero omori #omori spoilers #omori #omori analysis

[nikki-is-a-nerd]

Invisible String

Synopsis:

While in bed with Ezra, you tell him how you think you two were always destined to find your way to each other.

(it's also my apology for the angst fic and this Taylor Swift song hits in ways you don't know)

Genre: Fluff just tooth rotting fluff.

--------------------------------------------

It has already been about six months since you and Ezra have been reunited and three months since you two started dating and living together. It wasn't a difficult transition from being friends to lovers, not when you and him had so much history. It felt almost too natural, like you two were meant to end up here.

You and Ezra both grew up with the other members of the ghost crew, you more than him. You were younger than him by three years, but you were part of the crew way before him. When he disappeared, you and Sabine took it so hard, but Sabine at least had an outlet for a while when she was training with Ahsoka, while you stayed behind to help out the resistance in any way that you could.

All those years apart and gaining experiences, though different made you think about the what ifs in life.

"What are you thinking about?" Ezra asked softly as his fingers carded through your hair.

"Just...what if you stayed here. Like you didn't get to sacrifice yourself. Would we have arrived at this point in our lives still?" You asked truthfully.

"I think we would, maybe a lot faster than we did. I also think that it would have been less complicated too. I think I would have confessed to you in a nice field somewhere in either Lothal or we could go to Naboo." Ezra said looking at the ceiling.

"I think I would've liked that, but am I biased if I like the one I did get?" You teased.

"What? The one I said while I had the flu? You're weird." He laughed.

"Only for you." You joked.

You lay your head on his bare chest drawing patterns on it and some of the blaster scars he must've gotten in his time in Peridea. Ezra looked down on you, feeling content and happy, when he asked you a question as well.

Imagine how different life would've been if I declined Kanan's offer to teach me the ways of a Jedi." He said softly.

"I wouldn't have met you, gotten close to you and all of our little adventures with Sabine would be non existent. I don't think Lothal would be free without you." You said softly.

"I wouldn't know how happy I could've been." You added as you looked up at him through your lashes.

"Aw geez, you really know how to fluster a guy." Ezra said as a blush creeped up his face.

"You know I did try though, date other people while you were gone but they didn't work out." You whispered.

"I know, Sabine told me and that's totally fine. Like I told her, as much as I love you and wish to be with you, I don't want you waiting around for someone who might not come back." Ezra added kindly.

"No, Ezra. They didn't work out because I was looking for you in all of them. I was trying to see glimpses of you in them but, then again there's only one you."

It was silent for a while as Ezra let those words sink in. He felt so much unbridled happiness at the thought. He just felt so much happiness.

"I read a book somewhere how some people are connected by the force, or for some a red string, but with how life was with us. The way we keep finding each other. I'm starting to think ours is no measley red string. I think ours is a golden thread." Ezra said.

"Well aren't you a romantic." You teased as you poked his chest.

"Only for you." He returned your earlier words to you.

"Since we're not as busy in the resistance as of yet, wanna come with me to Yavin-4. I want to show you somewhere I used to go before I joined the ghost." You asked.

"Honestly I'd go anywhere with you. I don't think I can handle being away from you for too long now." He said as he kissed your temple.

"You're such a sap. Jacen tells me you talk his ear off during training and you just tell him how we met, albeit very different from how we actually met." You teased.

Ezra looks at you with a teasing grin as he shifts himself to hover over you and moves his hands to where you're ticklish. Letting the sound of both your laughter echo in your little haven. Although Ezra finds it funny to tickle you and finds it even funnier that now that you're both older, you're struggling to get him off of you, but he was much more focused on the sound of your laughter. A sound he truly did miss while in exile.

"Stop, stop, I admit defeat to the great Jabba the Hut!" You exclaimed a bit breathless.

"What? The great Jabba can't hear you clearly?" He said grinning.

"Oh great Jabba, love of my life, sunshine boy, I surrender." You said catching your breath as Ezra slowed his ministrations to a stop.

"Yay! You are now the captive of Jabba!" He said as he dropped his entire bodyweight on you.

"Ezra, no, you're heavier now and you're huge. You're as heavy as a loth wolf or something." You whined playfully.

"This Loth wolf wants to cuddle his darling girl, awooo" Ezra said hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You card your fingers through his locks and he looks at you. Eyes full of affection, one you're sure you're reciprocating. At that moment, Ezra immediately knew that there was no time more perfect than this. No crowds, no fancy preparation, just you two in your happiest moment in your comfortable pajamas, with the light of the moon being the only light source in the room.

"Marry me?" Ezra asked shyly.

"Huh?" You asked, wanting to be sure.

Ezra moved away from you, allowing you to sit up as he opened a compartment in his bedside drawer, pulling out a small box. He then situated himself in front of you once more as he opened the box and got down on one knee.

"Will you marry me, your goofy and very much smitten boyfriend and make me the happiest guy in the universe, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?" Ezra asked, his voice shaky as the nerves were settling in.

Your eyes pricked with tears, as you hugged Ezra tightly, nodding your head.

"Yes Ezra. Always yes." You answered as you pulled away.

"Thank the force, I thought I was getting a 'not yet Ezra', I mean I wouldn't mind it but that would definitely destroy my confidence." Ezra said as his own tears of joy rolled down his face.

He grabbed your hand and placed a beautiful ring on your hand. It wasn't too in your face or intricate but it was the perfect ring. You then noticed a certain detail engraved inside the ring.

"Ezra, did you ask the ring maker to engrave this?" You asked, a soft smile on your face.

Ezra looked at you as you handed him the ring so he could see it and he grinned as he read the words.

One single thread of gold tied me to you.

"Yeah, I did. I feel like it sums us up perfectly." Ezra said as he placed the ring back on your finger.

"I love you, I'll always find my way back to you." You said softly.

"I'd wait forever for you too. Now, let's sleep my future Mrs. Bridger." Ezra said with the brightest smile.

"Alright, only because I'd wake up seeing your handsome face." You said as you snuggled closer to Ezra.

The future was truly bright for you two. You won't know what would happen next but as long as you two are together. That would be enough.

#ezra bridger x reader #fanfic #fanfic writing #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #starwars fanfics

[bi-bard]

Family Trip - Rafael Barba Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Family Trip

Pairing: Rafael Barba X Reader

Word Count: 1,024 words

Warning(s): bad family, bullying, cussing

Summary: (Y/n) just got back from visiting family. However, instead of bringing back funny stories or leftovers from their parents, (Y/n) brings back baggage that no one could see. Baggage that (Y/n) didn't want to acknowledge.

Author's Note: The holidays are rough for a lot of people. If you need a better family for the holidays, then I am happy to be a part of your found family.

--------------------

It wasn't meant to be anything more than an off-handed comment.

I knew that.

That didn't stop my brain from going into fight or flight mode when Rafael made said off-handed comment.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure why Rafael was there. We didn't have anything for him to look at or talk about, but he was standing in the middle of our office.

I had started rambling. I had been reading this new book series. It was new and exciting, so I was talking about it. I knew that sometimes my rambling could be a little intense and hard to follow. I knew that. I should've known that.

"My only problem is that I can't seem to find the last book," I explained, probably talking a mile a minute. "It's pretty popular, but I didn't think that meant that I wasn't going to be able to get my hands on a single copy of the thing. I've checked most of the places around me, but there's one shop- it's between my place and this little coffee shop- that might still have a copy-"

"(Y/n), (Y/n)," Rafael smirked as he held his hand up to mimic telling me to slow down. "Take a breath."

My mouth reacted before my brain could stop it, "Jesus fucking Christ."

I shook my head and looked down for a moment.

"Hey, I was just-"

"You should try letting people enjoy things without being treated like shit," I snapped before he could explain himself.

"Excuse me," Rafael asked. The whole team seemed to freeze.

My jaw clenched. I didn't speak.

"Liv," he turned to her. She had stopped when I snapped at him. "Can we use your office?"

"Be my guest," she nodded.

Rafael looked at me again. I sighed, already regretting my choices as I pushed myself out of my seat and toward the office.

He didn't speak up until he had shut the door to the office, "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry," I ran my hands over my face.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on," he asked.

"I... I just got back from visiting my family," I said. I took a deep breath. I was already yelling at myself for how I had reacted and for talking about this whole thing. "They're... They're just a bit difficult. I get a bit... touchy when I visit them."

Rafael's eyebrows were still furrowed.

"They just make a lot of jokes," I tried to shrug it all off. "Quite a few of them are targeted at me. Whether they're just about shit that I've done or how I look or the things that I like or... whatever. I tend to get a bit defensive."

"I... I didn't mean to-"

"I know," I stopped him, forcing a grin. "I'm just overly sensitive. I know that. Can't learn to take a joke."

I felt the tears in my eyes. I tried to figure out how to subtly blink them away. It must've not worked because Rafael stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me as he tried to shush me before I started sobbing. I wrapped my arms around his torso and closed my eyes.

"I don't mean to be invasive, but this doesn't seem like innocent joking," he muttered to me. "If it's this upsetting... (Y/n), this isn't normal."

"I'm the one that's not normal," I stepped back, rolling my eyes. "I... I just can't get my brain to not take it personally. Either I get defensive and overreact or I shut down and that's still overreacting. I just never learned how to take a joke. It's always been that way."

"(Y/n), no."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Hey-"

"I have a lot of work to get done," I said. "I'm gonna go clean my face up and get back to it. I'll see you later, Barba."

"Wait-"

"See you later," I repeated before walking out of Liv's office.

I ignored everyone's sad looks. I just continued working. Typing and writing. I answered a call or two. It was the rare occasion where S.V.U didn't feel like it was being left to drown and hopefully take down a few terrible people before we sank completely.

Sonny tried to talk to me a few times. Rollins too. Liv had called me into her office, but I pushed her away. Fin seemed to respect that I needed the space.

I had shut down. I figured it out as soon as I got home. Just like I always had. I had fucked it all up. I thought that I could keep myself together when I was away from my family. That those reactions could just fade away with time. But here I was. Still acting like such a child.

I spent the entire night caught in this cycle of punishing myself. Stuck in my thoughts and insecurities until I finally couldn't force myself to stay awake any longer.

I came back the next day to see something sitting on my desk. It was wrapped in some Christmas wrapping paper. It was just after Thanksgiving. It was probably what was in stock.

"It's from Barba."

I looked at Rollins as she spoke. She had caught me staring at the gift. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. At the idea that Barba felt the need to get me a gift.

"I saw him put it on your desk."

I chuckled.

"Will you open it," she asked. "The curiosity has been killing me."

I scoffed before picking up the gift.

I pulled off the wrapping paper to find a book. On top of the book was a folded piece of paper. I put the paper down on my desk before properly reading the cover of the book. I chuckled.

"What is it?"

"It's the last book in that series that I was talking about," I said, holding it up for her to see. "I... I don't know where he found it."

I grabbed the piece of paper that had been placed on the top.

I grinned a bit at the short note.

You deserve so much better.

Maybe he had a point.

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#rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu x reader #law and order svu imagine #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order imagine #law and order fanfiction #law and order x reader #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 12

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading and playing their games.

read this before interacting with my posts

When I returned to Crown’s castle, I didn't feel like going to my room, so I headed for the pavilion in the garden.

I looked at the bundle of letters Marie gave me earlier in the day.

If I read through those letters, I might be able to grasp the cause of what was haunting Liam’s heart.

(But… I feel like I’m prying too much into Liam’s past without his permission.)

Liam: Found you, Kate.

Kate: WAH! Liam!

Liam: Ahaha! You look so shocked. I was looking for you because I have something to tell you.

Liam: I’m fully recovered!

Kate: Oh, really!?

Liam: Mm, really. Want to check by touching me anywhere you like?

(Then—)

I touched Liam’s cheek.

Liam: My injuries are healed, right? It’s all thanks to your help. Thank you, Kate.

Kate: I’m glad you're recovering well. Ah, and please never do that to yourself again.

Liam: Okaaayy.

Liam: — Anyway, what are those letters? By any chance, are they love letters addressed to you?

Kate: These letters were left behind by Jacob for Marie…

Liam: Jacob?

Kate: I’m so sorry if I’m overstepping boundaries—

I tried to apologise, but Liam put his index finger over my lips to stop me.

Liam: No need to apologise. I’m fine with it if it’s you.

Kate: … Huh?

Liam: On the day that article was published, you must’ve been so curious, and yet you still said “this isn’t the right time to ask”.

Liam: And you must've been very hesitant about whether to read these letters.

Liam: You being alone here is enough to prove that… am I right?

Kate: … Liam.

Liam: Besides, I want to read them too. Jacob was… someone precious to me.

Liam said with a smile and sat down next to me with movement as smooth as a cat’s.

Liam: Wow, this is a lot of letters. … Is this the first one?

This was the first letter Jacob wrote to Marie, it was written on his first day of work as a butler for the Evans family—

“Dear Marie, my fiancée who lives so far away from me.”

“Hey, how have you been? I'm working as a butler for the Evans family starting today. They own a major confectionery production company.”

“How laughable that I became a butler. The household consists of a husband and wife, and they have a son named Liam.”

“Honestly, I’m not very good with children. He’s a friendly boy, so we’re getting along well. It's miraculous.”

“Well then, I’ll write to you again another time. Take care and don't catch a cold, Marie.”

Kate: Fufu, seems like you’ve been a friendly person ever since you were a child. I can imagine it.

Liam: I still remember that time very well. I desperately wanted to get along with him, so I kept trying to talk to him…

The second and third letters were all about Liam and Jacob’s happy moments together.

They had snacks in the middle of the night, and spent sleepless nights reading stories together.

Liam: … I miss those times. I was so happy to have an older brother figure because I was an only child.

However, approximately half a year later, their peaceful days started to grow dark.

“Liam hasn't been very lively lately. He used to be so smiley, but recently he's been smiling a lot less.”

“I don't know what caused this change. Therefore, I took him to a theatre to cheer him up.”

“I felt relieved to see that he appeared to be enjoying himself. I guess even children have their own troubles, don’t they?”

(The next letter…)

“Liam came home with wounds on his cheek and arm. But when I asked about them, he only told me that he fell down.”

“That's a common occurrence for children, right? Let me know what you think, Marie.”

(... He was injured? How about the next one…)

“... Hey, Marie. Liam has been acting strange lately.”

“The moment I take my eyes off him, he gets severely injured in the most bizarre ways possible.”

“Sometimes, his behaviour shocks the people around him and he even damages the place.”

“Both the master of the house and the madam are bewildered by Liam’s wild behaviour.”

Kate: …

I looked up at Liam upon seeing the unsettling nature of the letter, and he signalled with his eyes that he didn't mind me reading on.

(... This is the last letter. In this letter, Jacob wrote—)

“Liam has been smiling a lot lately. But… his smile is different from the one I saw back when we first met.”

“A child’s smile — should be flawless. His smile was so adult-like… I thought it was strange.”

“Liam has… “something”.”

“I don’t know what that “something” is.”

“I wonder if there’s anything I can do for Liam. … I want this child to have his innocent smile back.”

That was the end of the final letter.

After that letter, that fire broke out and killed everyone in the Evans family. All except Liam.

I had so many questions that I found myself at a loss for words.

Kate: Liam, this is…

Liam: It’s nothing special.

(Huh…?)

Liam: The Evans family established their company and made it successful in just one generation. As their only son, I was the heir to the company.

Liam: Simply put, it was inevitable that I would take over the company. Therefore, I had to receive a special kind of education known as “kingcraft”. It was definitely more rigorous than normal studies.

Liam: That’s probably why I looked depressed to Jacob.

Liam: But that’s a common thing, right?

Kate: Common…?

Liam: Parents have high expectations of their children.

(... I guess so?)

Kate: … Then, what about the behaviour that shocked the people around you and got you severely injured?

Liam: I was having episodes. You witnessed one yourself that night, didn't you?

== Flashback Start ==

Liam: Fufu… fine, you just want to get rid of me, right?

Liam: Then let’s try to kill one another, starting now! … Haha, I wonder if you two can even kill me…?

== Flashback End ==

(The look in Liam’s eyes was so dark back then… it was almost as if he were a completely different person.)

Liam: The curse itself is inborn, but it appears at a different stage in each individual.

— Liam said that his curse first started appearing when he was five years old.

It was when he accidentally stepped onto the railway tracks and was nearly run over by an incoming train.

At that point of time, Liam didn't know about curses, so he was confused at first.

Liam: When the curse shows itself, people around the cursed person won’t know of its existence until something big happens.

Kate: The only difference between people with the same curse is their special “ability” that's unique to each person, am I right?

Liam: Mm, correct. However, on top of having my special ability, I started having episodes.

Liam’s rose coloured eyes had a far away look.

Liam: … It always rains in my heart right before I have an episode.

Kate: Rain?

Liam: It starts raining without any forewarning, neither can I voluntarily stop it.

Liam: And when that happens… I also hear a voice coming from somewhere.

Liam: I always end up listening to everything that voice says. By the time I snap back to my senses, I’ve already done something horribly wrong.

Kate: … What do you mean?

Liam: Things like destroying the seats at a banquet, or jumping from places where one wrong move would kill me.

Liam: Haha… when I come to my senses, I’ll remember everything I did. I’m pretty nasty, right?

Liam: My parents and Jacob couldn't figure out what triggered my episodes, so they were constantly worried about me.

The article by The Shadow wrote that the fire was started on purpose by Liam, who was nine years old at the time.

I remembered Liam’s lonely smile as he said “all of it is true”.

(Could it be…)

Kate: … Were you having an episode when that fire broke out at the Evans family’s mansion?

Liam: …

Liam: Yes, I was.

Liam: That fire broke out because of my episode—

Liam: The Evans family hosted a party at the mansion that day, and the fire happened after all the guests had left.

Liam: I had an episode and went wild, so I accidentally set the curtains on fire with the fire from the fireplace…

Liam: By the time I came to my senses, it was already too late. The fire had engulfed the entire mansion.

Liam: I was panicking as I stared at the roaring flames, and that was when Jacob came running towards me and shielding me—

== Flashback Start ==

Liam: Jacob…! Don’t save me, save yourself…!

Liam: … Just leave me here, Jacob! I was the one who started this, so… run!

Jacob: … *cough* Young master. Stop resisting. What if… you get… burnt to death too…

Liam: Jacob, stop! Hurry… you have to escape… or you’ll die, Jacob…!

Jacob: … Listen… carefully. You… you aren't to blame… for this.

Liam: … What?

Jacob: You… definitely have “something”. But even so… you’re not… evil.

Liam: No! All of this, everything… I…

Jacob: *cough*... ugh. If you still… believe that you are…

Jacob: Then… please survive, young master. For me.

Liam: … Survive?

Jacob: Please… live…, young master. Promise… me…

Jacob: To have been… able to… protect you…

Jacob: … I’m gla—...

Jacob: …

Liam: JACOB. JACOB…!?

Liam: UWAAAAHHHH…!

Liam: Help…! Someone, anyone, please help…!

== Flashback End ==

Liam: Jacob stopped moving, the fire was extinguished, and I was the sole survivor.

Kate: …

(... I don’t have anything to say.)

(Because it’s obvious that no matter what I say, nothing can comfort him.)

(But I have to say something. Anything…)

Liam: … Hey, Kate.

Kate: …?

Liam: Am I really “not evil”?

Liam: I didn't choose to be born with a curse. Some people say that curses are like a disease.

Liam: … But I disagree. They’re not something that's easily forgivable. Moreover…

Liam: As of now, it's been defined that only people with cat curses experience episodes.

Liam: However, those deceased people with cat curses… did they also experience episodes?

(What…?)

Liam: There aren't many records and documents about curses. Most of them aren't very accurate either.

Liam: If my episodes are independent of my curse, then…

Liam: … Maybe I’m the cause?

(That means Liam’s episodes may not be linked to his curse—)

Liam: But what’s the point of talking about “maybe”, right?

Liam: That’s why Roger is working so hard to figure this out.

Liam smiled lightheartedly, as if to dispel the dark atmosphere.

His rose coloured hair swayed in the gentle night breeze.

Liam: … Kate, there has never been a single day wherein I don’t remember what I’ve done.

Liam: That's why I’m still here… alive.

Liam: Jacob told me to “survive”, so this life is important.

(Liam is being honest with me about his feelings, and this isn't a matter that's easy to talk about.)

(But what is this… uncomfortable feeling?)

Drops of black ink fell onto my heart, gradually spreading and corroding.

Kate: Um, Liam.

Liam: Mm, what is it?

Kate: What you just said about… living because your life is precious… are you being serious about it?

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil main story #liam main story

[rockymintscollective]

Small Neil Perry Rant from Dead Poets Society (SPOILERS AHEAD)

Okay before I continue this I must reiterate the fact that this has spoilers and will also involve heavy subjects such as suicide, death, and grief of said death. This also involves parental issues and possible alluded-to abuse. This will be a heavy rant.

Continue reading if you're fine with said subjects.

Okay I have to say I don't understand what one of my other friends (I'll call them Friend C, Friend A being the one who said positive things, but I'll get to that) said about not getting/understanding what the end of the movie was like.

I understand that it would come as a shock for most, but... The signs were right there for Neil Perry to have at least some implied depression or something to make him so affected.

Like you see it in the first scene. Or well not the first scene but one of the first interactions that Neil has with his dad.

Most kids call their parents by "Dad" or "mom" or even "Pa" and "Ma", but you see Neil calling him "Father." Not even something less formal, he calls him father. All the time. Even whenever you see him talk to Todd later on when he finds interest in theater, you hear him call his dad by father.

Also adding onto this---You see most of the other characters, such as Meeks or as Knox say "dad" or "mom" if I recall correctly. It's been a few hours since I've seen the movie but you get what I mean.

Also, adding onto the fact that Neil outright lies to Mr. Keating about his talk with his dad? Like you know that there must've been something that made him that afraid to talk to his dad about wanting to become an actor.

Not only that but you see it. Especially so whenever his dad comes and picks him up after the show, takes him home, and tells him he's going to be sent off to Military school. That shit's NOT easy, and that's coming from someone who's had military family members confess how rough it is.

Adding onto this, you HAVE to understand the fact that you have to be in that kid's shoes and imagine what it must feel like.

You're about to lose all your friends. About to lose the one thing that made you happy. About to lose the one teacher you liked, about to basically lose everything. He's also aware of the fact that when he graduates, he's immediately being shipped off to medical school.

Which, by the way, I think everyone forgets that fact. His father was that engrossed with his own life that he was going to just send his son off to medical school as soon as he finished Welton. Like he genuinely had no say about his future or his life. I'm pretty sure if his father could, he would've found him a woman to marry. /lh

Anyway. You kinda also feel like there's no other hope left, right? Basically left alone and even if you try to cut contact, you're probably still going to have constant reminders of your father and he'll probably hunt you down, either way.

So of course your last option would probably be, as morbid as it is, to. You know. Stop the clock early.

Also, can I just say, the way everyone coped with everything is so understandable? Like oh my god.

Sure you don't see much of how they react or how they feel, mostly just seeing Todd and Charlie's reactions, but my god that's enough to see to know.

Todd's utterly broken self and puking into the snow in response to everything, while all the others have to try and distract him from blaming Neil's dad. (Which honestly, if I was one of them, I too would accuse Neil's dad to be honest)

Not only that but Charlie telling them all to back off and to stop to let Todd grieve in his own way?? My god. That shit fucking felt like a bag of bricks hitting my chest my GOD.

Also I'm bringing up my mutual Wildernezz's rant in here about the scene with the punching because oh my god. Yeah. I see why it's so underrated but I agree with every single one of those points he made. Like oh my god

Also, personal opinion: The ending where Keating goes to leave and Todd stands up, with an outburst, going "They made us sign it I'm so sorry-" was so amazingly shot. Especially the scene where they also all stand on their desks. Well not all of them but you get what I mean

Like they all clearly care so very deeply for Mr. Keating and care about how he teaches. They loved him as a teacher and you can tell with how they act.

Like.... You can just tell they adored it with his class. Like

My mind's dying (/dram) right now but I still so very much am in love with this movie and I heard they had a book they made based on this said movie and I'm so interested in reading it so I'll get back to you on that

#tw suicide #tw death #tw implied abuse #character analysis #rant #rambles #dead poets society #dead poets fandom #implied depression #mentions of puking #neil perry #todd anderson #steven meeks #knox overstreet #john keating #charlie dalton

[justfandomwritings]

Safety Blanket (Hangman)

Pairing: Hangman x Reader (Addie)

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Angst, Sadness, Mentions of Lost Virginity (not in a negative/something bad happnened context, just a jealous one); angst with a happy ending (of sorts)

Prompted by @callsignvalley reblogging my last story with: “How did you know you wanted… that you wanted her to be… you know… your first?” did anyone else spiral about how addie must've felt when jake lost his virginity to marie leonard because i definitely did :(((

Notes: @callsignvalley you are to blame for this... or this is dedicated to you. Idk depends how you look at it. This story is not beta-read and was not edited at all. This is a first draft, random thought spawned by Valley's reblog.

Normally The Only Thing Universe stories can be read as a stand alone. This time, I don't think it will make sense if you don't read at least This Moment.

The Only Thing Masterlist

"I had sex with Marie."

"What?" Addie hummed as she continued packing up her books into her bag. Trying to fit all of them back in there always seemed impossible. She could've gotten a bigger bag, but what she really wanted was smaller textbooks. She never had to muscle them all in there like this last year.

"I said..." Jake sucked in a breath, "at Dante's party this weekend... I had sex with Marie."

Addie heard him the second time, and she blinked owlishly as her eyes slowly rose to look up at his. "Y-You did what?"

"Had sex... with Marie." Jake was chewing the corner of his bottom lip nervously.

He'd swung his legs off his bench and was kicking them back and forth. Turning up and down the edge of the rug repeatedly under foot. His eyes were boring into hers, like he was waiting with bated breath to see her reaction.

"Marie Leonard?"

"Yeah."

"From the cheerleading squad?"

"Yeah."

Addie blinked again, slowly, deliberately. "W-Well, how was it?"

Jake blinked back at her. Clearly, it was not the reaction he'd expected or perhaps hoped for. "F-Fine. It was fine. She was nice."

"Well," Addie jerked the zipper of her bag closed with possibly too much force. The sound of the teeth sliding back together was loud, aggresive in the otherwise quiet room. "I'm glad. Good for you."

"Thanks."

"We'll talk about it later but," Addie flung the bag up onto her shoulder, "I have to get back before Dad gets home and loses it when he sees I still haven't cleaned."

Jake shuffled to the edge of the bench, leaning over to look up and down the floor for his shoes in front of it. "Yeah, do you still need help with the yard?"

"No, I've got it."

Jake's head shot up.

Addie never turned down his help.

"Oh... ok then... I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah!" Addie gave him a smile that could only be described as 'polite' then turned and waved over her shoulder as she left his bedroom. "See you tomorrow!"

The door clicked shut behind her, and she marched determinedly down the hall, to the stairs, down the stairs, out the front door and promptly collapsed on the front yard grass.

The adrenaline, the shock that had kept her emotions in check, kept her face composed, kept her feet moving one in front of the other as she walked away, evaporated only seconds after she stepped out into the sun, and her heart gave out in her chest, stuttering to a near halt and falling like a weight as it dragged her to her knees.

It was such a nice day outside, such a beautiful day. Warm air, cool breeze, bright sun, fluffy clouds. It was the picture perfect day.

Picture perfect Marie. Beautiful Marie. Hot Marie. Sleek black hair pulled back in a ponytail, jawline that could cut like a knife, shining white teeth and piercing dark eyes Marie. Captain of the cheerleading squad Marie . Honor roll student with legs for days and not a mean word to say about anyone Marie. The golden girl and the golden boy. The picture perfect couple on the picture perfect day.

She imagined them, huddling together in Dante's room, somewhere away from prying eyes, exchanging excited whispers and sweet remarks. Jake placing loving kisses on her lips. Marie running her fingers through his golden hair.

It wasn't the sex that broke her. It was the intimacy, the touch. Jake's hand holding hers as he pulled her away from the party to somewhere more private. Marie's fingers stroking over parts of Jake's skin that no one else, not even Addie, got to see. It was holding each other close in the afterglow, smiling at each other and the collective happiness that they and only they had ever brought each other.

It wasn't the sex. It wasn't Marie. It was that it would never be her.

"No."

It wasn't a scream or a cry or a shout of despair. It was a whimper, a heartbroken plea for the universe to turn back time to yesterday and give her the chance to say what was really on her mind before it was too late.

She imagined it. Scenes from the movie Groundhog Day, an infinite number of do-overs till she got it right, a chance to learn from her mistakes, an opportunity to find a better way. To turn back time, just one day, over and over again until finally the story gave her her own happy ending.

She only needed one day. That wasn't too much to ask. One day to fix all her mistakes, to tell him how she felt before he found someone else, to take her chance while she still could, to spell out for him that she was in love with him.

She'd thought, for a brief shining moment at prom, that he might've felt something for her too, that he might have liked her, even been falling in love with her the way she was already desperately in love with him.

But that couldn't be true.

Tears were carving tracks down Addie's cheeks before she could stop them, not that she would ever try to do something so obviously useless.

This didn't hurt.

Her father being an asshole hurt. Her brother blaming for everything her hurt. Her parents divorce hurt. Her mother abandoning them hurt. Her mother's new perfect 'better' family hurt. Her father's drinking problem hurt. Her family hurt.

This was excruciating. Watching Jake slip away was excruciating. Suffocating.

She choked in a gasping breath of air, trying to fill her lungs because she could never fill her heart.

"Jake..." She choked out.

Her knees slipped out from under her, and she dragged them up into her chest, burying her face in her thighs, hiding her face away from the beautifully perfect day that was mocking her pain.

How was it that even in the face of such gut wrenching, heart rendering, trauma inducing pain, all she wanted was to crawl back up stairs to Jake?

Because even when it was him, him who broke her heart, him who crushed her naive hope, who ripped away her fantasy that one day she would muster up the courage to tell him how she felt and that he would breath a sigh of relief and tell her he felt the exact same, her fantasy that he would sweep her up in his arms and kiss her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered to him....

He was the only thing that could sooth her pain. And now, the only thing she couldn't have.

With no balm, no consolation, no Jake, with only the knowledge that she was stuck here, stuck in the Seresin's front yard, alone for the first time in her life since meeting Jake, Addie wept.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It could've been six minutes, six hours, or six days later.

Addie wouldn't have been able to tell.

The passage of time was only a concept she could comprehend in the past, could only comprehend when dwelling on how she was too late. It wasn't a concept she could comprehend in the present. She couldn't feel hear the clock ticking or feel the moments flying by.

Her awakening to the reality of the world around her wasn't subtle or sweet, wasn't soft or gentle, wasn't the comforting hand Jake usually rubbed up and down her back as she cried in his lap or the smell of her favorite cookies Debbie always baked for her when she was sad.

It was Ronnie, clambering haphazardly off the school bus having just got out of Kindergarten.

"Addie!" Ronnie's high pitched shriek as she came running across the yard was almost as jarring as the news she'd received from Jake earlier.

It was happy, gleeful, out of place with the moment and with Addie's mood.

"Addie! Guess what! I got to read in class today! And I didn't mess up any of the words! And Ms. Grenville said I was the best reader she'd had in a long time! And I told her that my best friend Addie taught! And she remembered you! And she said you were the best reader she'd had ever! Isn't that fun!"

Ronnie's excited little fists were shaking in the air as she happily jumped up and down in the grass at her high praise from her favorite teacher, and only teacher so far not that she cared.

Addie's watery eyes made her smile seem far sadder than she intended as she tried to muster up the energy to congratulate Ronnie. "That's great, Ronnie. I'm so proud of you. I know your mom will be too."

Her face wasn't really what Ronnie seemed to notice. It was her tone, lower, huskier from all the time she'd spent crying.

Ronnie quirked her head to one side. "Are you sad, Addie?"

"Yeah, Ronnie. I had a bad day."

Ronnie shrugged her backpack off immediately and unzipped it. She began rummaging through her bag, throwing school supplies over her shoulder without a care.

Any other day that alone would've made Addie smile, but this was not any other day.

'HERE!" Ronnie triumphantly ripped her hand out of her backpack. Her tiny fist was clutched around a small stuffed dog.

Ronnie held it expectantly in Addie's direction. "This is Austin. Ma gave him to me when I went to school to squeeze when I was feeling sad or missed home. You can have him."

"Oh Ronnie," Addie tentatively reached out a hand and let Ronnie drop the small puppy in her palm. "I don't want to take your puppy."

"You aren't taking him. I need him back. I get sad all time especially in reading class cause I want to read the stories you and Ma and Jake read me." She had the motor-mouth of a small child, her eyes and mind wandering as she spoke without a thought or filter, and it quirked Addie's lips up at the corner. "I need him back for when I'm sad, but you're sadder than me right now, and I don't want you to be sad because you're always happy and that makes me happy. So you can borrow him till your happy again, and then give him back to me for school."

It touched a chord in Addie somewhere, tugged at it more like. That this little girl cared about her so much to give up her safety blanket, a safety blanket that she objectively needed and used all the time, just because she thought it might help Addie.

Addie cupped the small stuffed animal reverently in both of her hands and cradled it against her chest. "I'll take very good care of him."

"You better!" Ronnie flopped onto the grass next to Addie. "He's my best friend besides you."

"I'm your best friend?"

"Of course!" Ronnie proudly declared. "And Kate's and Jake's. But I don't know why. Boys are gross."

Addie chuckled, "Jake's not gross."

Ronnie rolled her eyes, "Only to you because he likes you. Like how Ma says husbands are supposed to love wives, only Pa doesn't love Ma as much as Jake loves you."

Addie couldn't help it. Her hands tightened as she squeezed the puppy in her hands. Oddly, Ronnie was right, it did bring her a small ounce of comfort. "Jake doesn't love me."

Ronnie laid back in the grass, tugging up fist-fulls of green blades and throwing them up in the air, and she said in the matter-of-fact way that only a child could, "Yes he does. Like the princes love the princesses in the movies. Like he wants to spend happily ever after with you. Like you're the only thing he wants."

#jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin #hangman #hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #jake seresin imagine #hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman seresin angst #jake hangman fic #jake hangman x you #jake hangman seresin fic #hangman top gun #top gun fanfic #top gun fic #top gun fanfiction

[bravoactual]

Just thinking about Soap's journal again and the reason why 'How many times times can a man save your life until it's no longer your own?' has me in a permanent chokehold. (822 words)

Soap seeing himself in Roach.

Like Sanderson. He's a Sgt., but reminds me of what I must've looked like coming out of selection: raw, skilled, loyal to a fault.

Soap seeing Price in himself because of Roach.

Maybe it's the Villa Clara's? Five years ago, my first mission with the 22nd began with one. Yesterday, Roach and I follow suit. Then, like clockwork, fresh meat gets caught falling to certain death.

Me: Off a helicopter over the Bering Strait. Roach: An ice cliff in Kazakhstan.

But wait, there's more.

Have been looking forward to breaking Roach in. Beyond the mission similarities, He reminds me after myself after selection. Feel even more comfortable with him than Price must have with me.

And,

Afterwards, saw the Sgt. writing in a journal. Wonder if he's thinking about PT like I was. If he's wondering what Villa Clara's taste like.

Like, yes, Soap. It's only natural to think about what your captain's been tasting after he saves your life. There's no way that's something exclusive to you.

And of course, just like Price, you'd give yourself to keep your men from going first.

Bingo or not, would've crashed before leaving Roach on those rooftops.My fault, it was so close. Could have told Roach to shed more gear before the jump.

Yes, take full responsibility for Roach's fate. He's who you were and you're who he'll be.

Funny thing, watching Roach get taken down by Price in the gulag not like the old man rotted in a gulag for 5 years or anything...

It is funny isn't it, like your past and your future met at the present. And what do you do with the only tangible piece of Price you've had since he was MIA?

Felt good to give the gun back. Price's pistol wasn't just the gun that killed Imran Zakhaev - it was the gun that saved my life.

In Price's hands, not yours. Right where it belongs. And not just giving the pistol back, but giving over the task force you built and breathed and burned for. Despite the fact he's "rotted" as a POW for five years.

Good to have the Captain back in command. Best demotion imaginable.

Just say you missed him.

So yeah, was happy to follow Price and Roach over the net. Not just because it meant I was far from the mutts, but because I got to listen to the two of them working together, like we once did.

Just say you missed him.

There was that same options: Take out the target or let themHIM pass. Nice to hear Price taking Roach under his wing. Know the effect it can have.

Yeah, the effect of a lifetime of devotion, but you aren't any man and Roach isn't you.

Soon as Price went dark; right then, knew it was bad. Didn't need Ghost screaming over the net to realize it. Spoke to Price afterwards. Man knows something about the greater good.

And what if he hadn't appeased you? What was it you called Roach? Loyal to a fault.

Then you lose Ghost and Roach. You can't even keep your hand steady as you curse Shepherd on the pages. And the part of you that you protected through Roach is lost too.

And here it is, the crux of it.

Saved again. How many times now, I've lost count. Don't mean I've lost track. The questions are hard. How do I repay his debt? How many times times can a man save your life until it's no longer your own? But the answer's easy. At least to me. LOYALTY doesn't operate on a sliding scale. It's a safety. ON OR OFF.

You belong to Price. You've belonged to Price since Bering Strait. There is no off. You remained loyal even when Price was dead. You carried him with you every single day. He's your master. You're his dog.

No more drawings of Price, not even a mention of him beyond tactics. You used to find echos of him in everything and everyone. You aren't the sergeant, you can't be. The sergeant is KIA. You are the captain.

Here on out, we're for just one thing: Redemption.

The end is in sight. Shepherd took the task force you'd built and tarnished every operator's name. Your men, under your watch. The ones you'd give yourself to protect. Yourself is exactly what it costs. Redemption can only be granted to the dead if you succeed.

And then the final page, the epitaph written by Price from "The Golden Journey to Samarkand".

"We are the pilgrims, master: we shall go. Always a little further: it may be Beyond that last blue mountain barred with snow, Across that angry or that glimmering sea,"

Once your name is clean, John "Soap" MacTavish will join the others KIA, engraved on the clocktower in Hereford. Until then, Price will hold the last tangible piece of you, just as you did for him.

#is there a heterosexual explanation for this? #john soap mactavish #character analysis #john price #gary roach sanderson #cod #text #we love an unreliable narrator #also in the kingfish timeline Price was only in the gulag three years #also this just switched to second person while i was writing it and i agreed #witness my descent #here is the basis for my hc that soap projects himself on roach

[bsd-elle]

Thoughts on Buddy Daddies Episode 10

Too many thoughts, in a way I haven't felt in a long time.

I expected angst, but I didn't think they would proceed the way they did with this episode.

Bringing back Miri's mom to trigger doubt in their relationship was so heartbreaking.

Because you can tell so much about all three of them.

Kazuki even calls her out, that her intention is all about herself.

Whereas both Rei and Kazuki, throughout their discussion put their sole focus on Miri and her opinion and her happiness.

In fact, I'm sure Kazuki understood her mom more than ever.

Him loosing his family and trying to build a family now, it could've very easily been a method for him to gain self validation and just validation in general, but not once, throughout the series has he EVER projected his trauma onto Miri, but rather it pushes him to do better for her.

Both of them care so deeply for her, that they never brought themselves into the conversation, 'we took care of her for a year', 'we're here for her', nothing.

From the jump it was, Miri's happiness is our main priority.

And that's why, Kazuki was so adamant on not giving way to her decision, which is when their occupation comes into play.

On paper, not an ideal situation, two hitmen whose lives are constantly in danger, raising a child... I understand her perspective, but it's malicious that she used the only tactic she could to plant the seed of uncertainty in their minds.

Which brings us to their conversation with Kyuu.

They realised the depth of the circumstances of their jobs, but I think the 'dream' like state they were in, this haze, almost shielded them from even considering reality.

Because what would they do when Miri finds out about her real father, about their jobs, that she's in danger, grave danger, all because of them.

And that is the only reason Kazuki changes his mind.

He must've been struggling internally, to give Miri back to her mom would be tough on a kid, and who knows how she would raise Miri.

But he safety and happiness comes first.

He tries to convince himself that they wouldn't want to carry on with any regrets.

And they spend the day like normal, both of them fawning over Miri.

And we see the pure anguish on Kazuki's face as he realises the impact Miri has had on him, the changes she has brought, and how it would soon leave.

He understands the consequences of his original decision to take care of Miri.

And although it has significantly improved all of their lives, he still wants her to be happy, even without them.

He brings up the cat, and reminds us that he still remembers it even after a year, because that's the value he places on other living creatures, on life, and he doesn't take that for granted.

Kazuki planned the entire day for them to spend together, strategically including games and rock climbing so even Rei could get involved, because this was potentially the last time they could spend together. And he understood that Rei might not openly express his pain and suffering, and pushed them to spend time together, to, like he said, have no more regrets.

The way Kazuki was hovering over Miri's every move, I really can't imagine how it would be now, for him to silently worry over Miri without ever being close to her.

Miri has both of them completely wrapped around her little fingers, and they totally realize that their lives will never really be the same again.

And what's so painful about it is that you can tell how much Miri has changed both of them in such a drastic manner.

When Kazuki began to spiral in his thoughts, Rei was the one who said, hey, let's just have fun today.

Both of them have become support pieces to each others lives through Miri, and I truly hope they realize that that would never change.

Rei and Kazuki's conversation in the Ferris wheel was so beautiful. Because they both understand that their lives have changed for the better since Miri came into their lives, but unfortunately, they haven't changed, and they don't have an option to change.

They are constantly tied to their jobs and can't escape from that world, and the only way to ensure Miri's happiness is to let her get away from that world.

From their world.

Miri was their beacon of light through the darkness, and a Mirage of what could've been, but no matter what, it could never actually be this way.

They are a happy, little family, but unfortunately, dreams are a little too misty to see through it.

And the Ferris wheel is the perfect metaphor for that, it's their own little world, isolated from their pasts, their traumas, and everything that ties them to the real world.

Their in their own cocoon of love, comfort and happiness, and once they reach the high of it, they understand that that's the highest things can go, this is the most amount of happiness and comfort they can ever recieve and eventually they have to come down their high, to touch back to the real world, and give up their happiness, give up Miri, for her to grasp to her normal happiness, something that she deserves, something they will never be able to grasp.

And aahh... When Kazuki runs back to tie his scarf around her, to ensure that she wouldn't catch a cold, because this was his daughter, someone he cared about more than he could ever think of, more than he could've ever imagined he was capable of.

The parallel to the time he went back to take care of the cat, still tied to every person he was forced to abandon.

Rei and Kazuki have the discussion of 'changes', and although it's evident that both of them have changed and progressed drastically, the environment and the circumstances around them haven't, and giving up Miri was the ultimate sacrifice and sign of that.

(few things to note:

Miri never told her mom that she would rather stay with her than her Papas, she just said that she loves both of them.

Miri has a car seat in the car, and something about that makes me so🥺.

Although the angst is STRONG, in the episode, and I'm lousy at making predictions, I think Miri will definitely be upset and demand to see her papas again, which ugh... How could you let a four year old go through all of this.

It makes sense that this was the route they opted for, because imo, the pain they must feel to intentionally give up Miri must be so much more heartwrenching than actually loosing her.

But I'm still praying for them to actually betray the Agency.. I'm betting on that🤞).

#buddy daddies #miri buddy daddies #rei buddy daddies #kazuki buddy daddies #buddy daddy spoilers #bd #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #miri unasaka #anime #this is so angsty and I expected it but it still hit me so hard #I really do hope we get a happy ending #atleast some kind of a happy ending #also Kazuki is so pretty when he cries #not important but it's important to me