#I barely feel like a human being.

[childrenofthesun77]

Assuming that the whole 'mahiru is the vessel needed to bring back the count and the 9th servamp will be the servamp of vainglory' theory will be correct, it's interesting how both mahiru and touma can be accused of this sin even if the way it applies to them is opposed.

What touma wants is to be acknowledged and to that end he was willing to become the villain who destroyed the world before mahiru and tsurugi managed to change his mind:

Mahiru's way of being vainglorious seems a lot more positive at first because he wants to be a hero who saves others, but it's self-destructive and encourages laziness in others:

But thankfully we see mahiru starting to let go of the need to make other people proud of him and to prioritize making himself proud in his conversation with tsurugi:

and later when mahiru has a meltdown because he fears his uncle might be dead and suggests sacrificing his life to save the world kuro rightfully yells at mahiru for acting hypocritical and not listening to his own advice:

(I want to mention here that I really love how horrified kuro looks as he realizes that mahiru's reckless hero behaviour comes from a very self-destructing place:

because not a lot of manga I know really acknowledge that maybe the way a lot of their protagonists try to be heroic is actually pretty unhealthy and shouldn't be encouraged? Like Sigurd pointed out at the C3 meeting, it's kind of shameful that the children have to save the day)

Which is why I love that mahiru decided to trust kuro to handle tsubaki without him going with him:

He decides to stay back with everyone else, showing that he has learned that he doesn't need to be the one to do everything and can stay back with the others to buy kuro time.

Interestingly we see touma doing something similar. Opposed to his old need to have the whole world acknowledge him he now wishes for everyone to believe he's dead and he's helping to protect the city by creating a huge barrier without making it known that's he the one doing this:

He's helping the protagonists seemingly with no intention of earning acknowledgement for it.

I think in a way it could be cool of servamp to subvert the shouned trope that for the finale battle the only one able to defeat the big bad is the protagonist while everyone else just watches on from the sidelines, not allowed to do anything because this is the protagonist's moment of glory.

What if lily's plan when he put kuro in mahiru's path was that if kuro tried to stop tsubaki at the gate surely his eve would need to be there with him, right? Because of course he needs his eve to fight and then there's also the distance limit. So why not make the vessel you need at that gate for the ritual to work kuro's eve? Then the vessel would be at the place where you need them without you even needing to do something because naturally they would be thinking they are doing the right thing by going with kuro to fight tsubaki together. And surely someone as vainglorious as mahiru would never pass up the opportunity to be the hero who stops tsubaki. It's foolproof!

Unless of course before the ritual the vessel learned to let go of their vainglorious nature, accepted that it's okay to take a step into the background and trust in others. And additionally also found a way to break through the whole forced proximity thing that the servamp and eves had going on.

I don't know, I feel like it would be a neat bow on mahiru's character arc and a unique way to thawrt the antagonists' plans if the creation of the servamp of vainglory failed because the 'it has to be me' guy they wanted to use as the vessel decided against glory and stayed back to let his partner handle things with tsubaki alone because he trusts him. Kuro on the other hand wants to make up for his past regrets and resolve the conflict through communication this time. Learning to trust in himself again by managing to talk tsubaki out of going through with the ritual on his own would be a logical conclusion to kuro's arc.

#servamp #mahiru shirota #taishi touma #This started as a short post about both touma and mahiru being vainglorious just with one wanting to be villain who destroys the world #While the one wants to be the hero who saves the world #because they both want to be acknowledged #And then it escalated into a post about how the two of them letting go of their vainglory might end up saving the day in the end #As for lily and mikuni I feel like that needs to be resolved by misono #He has to deal with lily to get out of the chess game and tell the others about what he has learned or to confront his brother #Mahiru doesn't really have a deep connection to lily or mikuni #He barely knows them and they see him as a pawn #The one who needs them to understand that he's not a child in need of protection to the point that all they did was lie to him is misono #Lily destroyed mikuni's and his kiriko's lives as well maybe misono can work with that? #Or maybe mikuni is playing 5d chess anyway and all he does serves his end goal to get revenge on lily by making sure his plan fails idk #It is weird that his best known spell has people get hanged if they killed other humans in their life #And now he wants to kill the people of tokyo for power? That doesn't make much sense doesn't it.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

sometimes i remember that gojo wanted to tell geto “we’ll meet again, right?” just before he died but forced himself not to knowing it would have cursed him and then i start thinking about how kind and thoughtful gojo is as a character and how he hasn’t been able to lean on another human being since geto defected and then i want to . Scream

#like. there’s something almost helpless about that question. because gojo doesn’t *know* the answer…. he’s asking for reassurance #he wants to know if they’ll ever meet again even though deep down he knows the answer #and it’s so… bare? so vulnerable. #if he had voiced it that would’ve been the first time in TEN YEARS that gojo truly bared his heart to someone and asked for help #but he knew it would turn into a curse and so he gulped the words back down. :(( #gojo is such a sincerely kind and thoughtful character and it breaks my heart that sooo many people in the fandom can’t see that 😭 #he isn’t a saint and he definitely isn’t selfless but above all else his goal as a human being is to make sure no one ever feels alone. #that no one has their youth taken away from them….. that everyone gets a Choice in how to live their life :(((( it’s so important to him. #i just genuinely don’t understand ppl who insist that he’s morally gray ….. gojo is a consistently Good person and that never changes #he wants to have fun and laugh and he wants his students to enjoy their youth. he wants them to think he’s cool. #he’s the big brother slash father Ever and i love him to death #i got sidetracked this was supposed to be abt geto 😔😔 anyway the final scene between them will always be my Favorite ever #and the key to understanding both their characters and love for one another #ty for coming to my ted talk i’m feeling normal abt them today 😇😇 #ari noises ✩

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin about the Meat Marionette Au, specifically the batclan having two bodies. And I apologize if this is rambling lol

I feel like they still train and work out most days (look Bruce has gotten used to picking up his kids, he's not going to stop even if he's in his human body). It's just probably not to the same extent as in canon of a daily thing without giving their bodies a break. That probably actually means their human bodies are healthier than in canon, seeing as one actually needs to let their muscles rest between exercising them. Not to mention they- or at least their bodies- are getting rest. Hell it's almost like their bodies are in comas for a few hours each night what with how low their brain activity would register as.

Now I'm thinking this probably influences how they act and appear towards the public. They shy away from most interviews (they're trying not to hiss or growl) and are mostly quiet whenever they speak in public, so it'd be easier for the tabloids to spin a story about a shy or demure family doing their best to help Gotham. Which is... the complete opposite of what they are, but no one needs to know that.

Others might even go the mysterious hermit route when trying to write a story about the Waynes, seeing as they're not spotted outside often (what with uses of disguises and such) save for the times the patriarch of the family has gone on another adoption spree. Honestly most of the stories about them are either having to do with Wayne industries, the very rare gala that everyone is wanting into, or the several adoptions that have been reported on several times.

Online is another story probably, and there's definitely several memes about each Wayne family member's posts. They're somehow Gotham's darlings despite being social recluses.

That being said, being connected to the Tunnels definitely has an effect on them even in their original human bodies. Not just mentally but physically as well. Like there is some definite off vibes the longer one is in their presence, their movements just a hint too graceful and something almost... predatory about it.

Also slightly random but I feel like Bruce would grow his hair out, like not even purposely at first. He just got caught up in cases and trying to figure out the meat-marionettes (thank you Dick for the name, but did you really have to call them that) that he forgot to get it cut several times. And by then it's just easier to put it in a ponytail than stay still for however long it'd take to get it cut and well, actually look good even if he himself doesn't care about it. Then he also gets kids who want to learn how to do things like braiding hair, which means he learns too and... yeah...

This au is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7's possessed doll au, which you need to check out because it's great. A really fun concept and influences a lot of this Au concept too. Also mutual of mine do you have any ideas for their civilian IDs

#meat marionette au #batman au #bruce wayne #batman #dc #dcu #They probably give off fae vibes in their base human bodies lol #Very pretty and fit with barely any blemishes and just this... *off* feeling around them the longer you're around them #They do go out pretty often actually but there's not many photos or proof of it #One of the photos has *all* of them in dresses at a Gala because someone was being an asshole about Steph wearing a suit in a previous one #Also did you know Dick had long hair in several comic issues which I think should be talked about more often #Dunno what to do with Jarro in this au #Like does his starfish body start slowly getting changed into something humanoid?? #Do they build him a human body using what they've learned from the meat marionettes??? #Or is he still a starfish just with a meat marionette body too?

[a-s-levynn]

(source)

#sleep token #here is a thing #there are certain moments when Vessel looks.. no he rather feels.. small #i mean his.. aura? presence? but not in the non-captivating way but as in an emotionally vulnerable way #i don't really have the words to describe this but just like on this picture #bear with me for a minute because this is either gonna sound completely unhinged or make some sort of sense #it's probably just me having a little more time on my hand than i should and just want to see things but.. #sometimes he feels so present in a here-i-am as-i-am take-me-as-you-will this-is-all-i-am i-can't-give-more-nor-less it's-just-me sorta way #he feels so human in the rawest sense possible and yet so deep in character maybe even more so than when he creatures or teefs and all #like.. he is just vessel in it's simplicity and without the 'divine' if you will.. simply just vessel #in his barest of existance #a shadow of someone who used to be but not quite anymore #he is in pieces and it is willingly laid bare under the mask and all that bodypaint oh so clear to see for anyone #and that is not the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me #and that is what i find so heartbreaking about him #this kind if raw openness because the lore says vessel is a conduit for sleep #for us vessel (and the the others) is the conduit of our emotions #and he is there somewhere inbetween the truths #just him a simple human being who sometimes seems to wish not to be human which makes him more human than anything #and that is what i can't describe better than 'sometimes he feels small' and at time even maybe makes me cry a little

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know, part of what bothers me, I think, about some Tonowari and Ronal adopting Spider fics is the demonization of Neytiri, and to some extent, Jake. I’ve made posts about this before, I am number one Spider defender, ya’ll know, but Neytiri’s reactions to him make perfect sense. 

Neytiri is 18 in the first movie. She’s already lost her sister and father right in front of her at an incredibly young age and very traumatically. The spectre of this war and of this destruction has been around basically her entire life. In the comics, Mo’at and Eytukan leave the decision of wether or not to open Grace’s school up to Neytiri and the other children. Neytiri advocates for this school, and then her sister is shot and killed right in front of her at that very building. Neytiri advocates for Jake, trusts him and defends him and lets a human into her heart again, only to find out he has been betraying her the entire time. It’s a vicious cycle I don’t think she can bare to even attempt to repeat again with Spider, and for good reason! In the comics, we learn that half the humans who were deemed trustworthy even defect back to the RDA and betray the Na’vi again. They lived side by side for fifteen years and still weren’t trustworthy. Girl has major trust issues. I’m sure the idea of her kids trusting a human and it getting a sibling of theirs killed like it happened to Sylwanin is very prevalent. Not even mentioning what it means that Spider is Quaritch’s son, the son of the man Jake betrayed her for, and the son of the man responsible for her fathers death and the destruction of her home. Again, she is eighteen in the first movie. Even if the Na’vi mature differently, expecting her to make an emotionally mature response to Spider is irrational, and deadass I think Spider is more empathetic to that than half of you. Obviously, adults are responsible for children and it’s not an excuse for her treatment of Spider. But honestly, Neytiri never directly harms Spider unless absolutely necessary. She leaves him behind to save Kiri. She pushes him in the comics when she blames him for almost getting Kiri and Tuk killed. She cuts him in the movie to convince Quaritch she will kill him. But then she pushes him behind her, not toward Quaritch. Even after this move, she trusts him not to attack her or anything. She pushes him behind her where he is safe. Sometimes the stuff ya’ll write her doing is wild to me. 

Our man Jake Sully (I am a Jake Sully apologist) is 22 in the first movie. I am 23 guys, he’s baby. If I suddenly had three kids and another on the way (I’m including Spider) I would kill myself. No lie. That man is baby that is not a fully developed brain. The way that man soaks up any attention from Grace like he’s never even seen a parent before? Telling. The way he protects Grace and Mo’at specifically during the fall of the Hometree??? I was sideeyeing the hell out of you Jake. Jake and Neytiri needed a full 20 years of therapy and being parented themselves before having any children, first of all, but that’s not the cards they were dealt hmm? Jake is now the leader of a clan of people in a culture and a society and a planet and a species he knew next to nothing about three months ago. And now he’s PARENTING IN IT??? AND HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT IT?? AND ALSO THERE IS A WAR??? AND HE HAS MAJOR PTSD?? Anyways what I’m saying is it’s a miracle any of the Sully’s are alive, let alone turned out even remotely chill. 

Saying that the adults around Spider failed him is absolutely correct and completely accurate. They also just were not really adults imo yet. They were barely there, kids who had to grow up way too fast to deal with horrendous things way too quickly, just like the kids in the second movie. Cut them some slack. The number one goal in foster care, family services, counseling, anything like that, is to keep families together. I kinda feel that way about Spider. He’s a Sully god damnit. Saying Ronal and Tonowari would be better parents is insane to me. Obviously, they would. There was no war going on for them, they have no past trauma, and they seem to be older. But idk man, I don’t think that’s his place. For me, found family is about mutual healing and growing with an odd little chosen family. No one is odder than that fucking human marine guy who became an alien and married an alien to have some alien hybrid children and now they gotta officially adopt that weird human kid that’s always around.

(obv I’m still reading all ur Tonowari and Ronal adopting Spider fics tho)

#i've been trying to figure out exactly why tonowari and ronal adopting spider fics make me feel the way they do #which is super uncomfy whenever neytiri or jake are in any scene #or the sully kids sometimes #an exception being i'm still here by alexihollis which i think really confronted the complexities on the situation #and the fact that imo ronal would never and will never like a human unfortunatly #and i think its that jake and neytiri were also basically kids in a warzone in the first movie #and all the decisions they made parenting wise they made kinds still as kids in my opinion #barely adults #too young #jake sully #neytiri sully #jeytiri #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #mo'at #eytukan #grace augustine #tonowari #ronal #sylwanin #sully family #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron) #melissa is an english major

[novelconcepts]

I’m just saying, the human brain is not equipped for worrying about bank accounts and unemployment and whether unions can hold out and potential show cancellations and climate change and genocide and upcoming elections and parental health and insurance claims and home repairs and ongoing covid surges and political corruption and existential terrors and and and and and

all at the same time at 3 in the morning, as if all of these things are remotely equal and remotely controllable, when you can do NOTHING about any of it because you are small and your room is dark and your dog is asleep and it is 3 in the goddamn morning

#personal #hey hi hello the world is really bad! actually! really bad right now! #this isn’t the place where I come to talk about current events and the like most of the time #but uh. it’s cuz I can’t stop thinking about it. we’re living through so much. so much Bad. #and I want to fix literally all of it #from the comparatively small art things to the incredibly enormous human rights things #and I am. barely able to keep my own house. #and it feels shameful to be so overwhelmed by a world that’s being comparatively kind to me even when it’s been awful #and I sometimes just need to. say it. I guess. #anyway. back to the regularly scheduled gay fiction in a second I just um. #vote please. and stand with Gaza. and…try to rest. when you can. cuz it’s. a lot out there.

[rofax]

It has been exactly six months since my last day of chemo! 🎉🎉

#ro talks #cancer cw #chemo cw #it me #forgive me posting my face lol but i like to look at these two pics #and think about how far ive come #i could barely go up a flight of stairs in the first pic #and spent so much time away from my daughter being sick #now me and nellie go places together every day #i jog three times a week and am joining a belly dancing class #i feel more like a human again every day dude

[forbiddensasuke]

Quick i need a reason to feel connected with humanity help. HEEEEEELP

#even when i want to look for positive values around me all i get is mental shit straight into my eyes. #it's either people who dehumanize others. people who are willing to die for corporations. or people who are saying obvious things and- #patting themself on the back for the bare minimum. #people who have zero compassion towards other living beings 'because x is logical'. congrats you have stripped yourself out of your own- #humanity. #people whose main life concerns are so shallow and pitiful. i cant #i feel extremaly alienated #i felt that for the most of my life. but lately it's been taking a huge toll on my health #dont get me started on people who say beautiful things and then act like pitiful cowards. #possvm rambles #i have to lock myself away in a dungeon fr #utilitarist cunts are everywhere

[butchriptide]

genuinely really frustrating that people will like. choose to accept the age mistake made in assassin as canon for deathbringer when it actively contradicts older material. like. sorry idk if this is me being unfair here but genuinely like. why would you think it's intentional when deathbringer is described in main series as maybe a year or two older than glory at most, and can canonically not be any older than 9 due to stated timeline facts in the main series.

like. I get not liking glorybringer, i really do. no ship is for everyone. hell, even if assassin specifically makes you feel weird about it, so be it, to each their own. i can undertsnad that too. and yes, the glorybringer fans who think the age gap are canon are also in the wrong. they're being really gross, i don't think it's necessary to disclaim that, that feels given, but like... that only comes to my point still of like, i really don't understand taking a spin-off as canon over the main series. i don't really understand prioritizing later content as canon as opposed to the main work over spin-off as canon. why should a spin-off take jurisdiction just cuz it's newer? i feel like the older the canon is, the more likely it is the newer stuff will make mistakes. to me, in the case of a contradiction, the main series should be taken to? a spin-off is meant to supplement the main series, so shouldn't it only supplement canon that doesn't contradict?

like also, i get being frustrated it isn't fixed, but also. like. i obviously have not worked with a publisher before, but if I was writing for fucking scholastic books, no matter how well fucking beloved my series was, I don't know if I could risk being like "hey. can you pull my books from shelves and e-stores for me so that I can edit one line?" Like. I really don't think there's any reality in which I can make a corporation agree to that kind of thing, no matter what that one line may fuck up about my main story. like it's not even the only mistake she makes in the winglets. she calls deathbringer a rainwing in the flip book, but we're not hailing that as canon in retrospect, right? I don't know. I think it's unfair to presume that she's choosing not to fix it as opposed to it being an improbable to downright impossible thing to ask of a publisher. like yes tui is an incredibly successful author but i really don't know if we can presume she has that much actual sway on her publisher.

it's just really exhausting as a deathbringer enjoyer to feel like if I want to talk about and enjoy his character, and yes, that includes context given in the assassin winglet once you ignore the timeline error, i feel like I constantlyyy have to be saying "yes I think the timeline error is an error. no i don't think deathbringer is 13." like. every time i bring him up. i'm a riptide fan I'm used to it but also it's sooooo tiring to go into a character tag for a guy i like and be swamped with hatred for him and it's so much worse for deathbringer than riptide because in the deathbringer tag I have to deal with being actively accused of excusing gross shit for liking him instead of people just saying that my blorbo is boring.

#by nightwings standards deathbringer isn't even a fucking adult. like even when I was first reading the books he never read as an adult to #me. and the assassin winglet only further adds to this for me not lessens. he reads so much as #teenager/barely in his 20s guy who grew up #way too fucking fast for his own good but fully buys into his own narrative that he's got everything sorted and together #the way the age system works as I've always interpreted it is that like. each age up to 7 covers a wide but decreasing number of human #maturity years every time and then slows to the years being one-to-one by the time they're 7 #with 7 corresponding to 18 #which makes the nightwings not counting dragonets as fully grown until 10 the equivalent to how 21 is kind of like being an Actual Adult #law wise in America at least i mean to say #deathbringer can't even legally buy beer yet is what I'm saying. some hotels wouldn't let him check in without an accompanying adult #deathbringer #misc #wings of fire #wof #sorry for complaining in main tag but I'm so fucking tired of being made to feel gross for liking a character over material that #no casual fan of the series is even going to know exists or read that is so clearly a timeline error based on everything in the actual #series that I read #does my joke about him not being able to buy beer make up for it #do you guys still think i'm cool #on the note of publishing too #there's no reason to think scholastic could even make it happen in a timely fashion even if tui did ask for the change to the books. like. #looking up working with scholastic reviews some of the most common negative reviews are about poor management #i'm not trying to white knight for her or anything i think she's a flawed human being like anyone else I just think if ur gonna critique he #you should do it about stuff that's like actually poorly handled in her series. not a timeline error in a spin-off. like. come on.

[goldensunset]

i didn't think i cared much for n's final battle theme bc i'm a sucker for melodically strong pieces aka certified bangers. but i must say it does a good job at making you uncomfortable when you really listen to the details. it's got tritones, clock ticking sounds, heartbeats, fire and lighting sound effects for reshiram and zekrom, up and down flights, ominous choir, plenty of dissonance. i woke up in a cold sweat at like 5am today with it hauntingly stuck in my head for some reason and that makes it deserving of my respect

#i would have preferred something more melodic to go with the theme of his heroic and pure heart. and his name #but it does a good job at being like hey there really is something genuinely wrong with this man #it sure sounds.. unnatural....... #he is undoubtedly human and full of love and justice. but he's also broken and misguided #he's barely had any real human interactions in his life and has like no social skills #he has at least one confirmed supernatural power in being able to speak to pokémon #apparently the ticking clocks were supposed to represent the ability to see into the past/future that got scrapped? #but i feel like that's still at least partially canon bc he does mention something like that #the ticking clocks and heartbeats at once are so unsettling. like a duality between machine and human #he's a human being who's been raised to be. less than that. treated as a pawn #obsessed with precise calculations. literally called a 'freak without a human heart' #alternatively it could be meant to represent like hey here's him breaking down and losing it #he already knows he's wrong but can't let go of it yet #they could've included the theme of mechanical calculations but still included a solid melody for his true heart #but his true heart is clouded at that point #man i love blorbo #i need to study him #pokémon #and see. ghetsis' battle theme similarly is dissonant and ominous rather than catchy #so maybe n's thing is that since he's doing all this as ghetsis' puppet #but also like ghetsis' is way more simple and n's is frantic and chaotic #to show how ghetsis is pretty much just pure evil and self-absorbed (the man has choir chanting his name!!!) #but n is conflicted and troubled inside and doesn't even know who he is anymore #natural harmonia more like. unnatural disharmonia #(is 'gropius' also a music thing i genuinely don't know) #bw

[wispythreads]

I don't trust North we disagree on literally almost everything why does me attempting to still be a civil human being with the basics of decency lock Markus and her into a romance what the heck

#detroit become human #detroit become human spoilers #bit of play experience #literally I think I've only gotten her approval twice? #being sincere when Markus was trying to have alone time and successfully getting the trucks during the heist at the very beginning #Bring John with us? disapproval #turn away from her suggestions of violence (that she is constantly making at the slightest inconvenience)? disapproval #its mainly that last one actually #But I try to return the common decency of her expressing interest in Markus by asking her what her deal is? #suddenly they're lovers #I go back because I'm too frustrated with the fact I'm prompted to kiss her despite the fact that I'm still steadily gaining disapproval #and stick with the decision to not ask about her past #even though now that I know it Markus turning away saying “I'm going to talk to the humans” sucks and feels so bad #but don't just leave her to die when the army is baring down on her? #oh you guys are lovers again #even though you literally gain her disapproval yet again literally a moment later #like #????????????????????? #I don't dislike her enough to leave her to die but this is absolutely confounding to me #my version of Markus is literally opposed to her on almost everything #the one thing they can agree on is making sure Jericho is safe and making a better future for androids #why cant markus just dap up simon #<- screachogreilige addition that I agree with

[raiiny-bay]

apocalypse boys (wip)

#this is them before they turn into monsters :-) #there are still a good few things i have to finish/change but #i think we're off to a good start #they don't know each other in this universe (like prior to being monsters i mean) but they are in the same city #i've been thinkin up pre-monster lore since i've been working on the origin stories & ngl #i am kind of sad they don't get to meet up somehow & survive the apocalypse together as like. humans. #bc i think they'd have a really fun/interesting dynamic in this universe #n e way #rainyrambles #dl maybe idk #ETA: i did give Kel facial hair & it literally gave me the most visceral & offensive feeling like #kel boy does not look right w facial hair. there is a reason he shaves every single day in the reg universe #so i made the beard as barely noticeable as possible lmao

[bidokja]

happy labor day i think kimcom should unionize

#mine #orv #'arent they technically a union against constellations' only barely and also i mean they should unionize against kdj- #they are a company and these working conditions are INSANE #one of the best moments in orv was when kdj was forced to take a nap cause all of kimcom came together and was like #ENOUGH. #this post is only partially a joke since kimcom being A Company-- #--and How that ties into the narrative around Money as a Corrupting Power within ORV-- #--sure is a Choice that SS made! #SS said capitalism and consumerism only serve to further rob us of our human connection to each other-- #--yet we are all forced to rely on these systems to survive...send tweet #SS SAID CAPITALISM AND CONSUMERISM INHERENTLY MAKE SOCIETY MORE TRAUMATIZING SHITS FUCKED!!! #tbh idk if thats me simply assigning my own reading/interpretation to what they wrote like idk if they actually Intended to say all that #but uh. all that sure is In There #and it feels blatant enough that i am fairly sure that either they did it on Purpose-- #--or they hold these views and the views leaked into their work without conscious effort on their parts #....ANYWAYS #typical bidokja tag rant is Over asjhdgfj

[echojedis]

How do people do OCs, I can never get them to click properly

#i think i’m holding back too much the idea is there in my head #but when i’m drawing i’m conscious that i might want to share this stuff at some point so the whole time i’m thinking #about making a good design and i don’t want to give them anything vaguely similar to anyone else’s oc because i don’t want to step on toes #so they end up barely a visage of what i want to be creating #idkkk #the idea i have in my head is an oc who’s a horse girl LMAO their companion is a fathier who they have a very strong inseparable bond with #i am a lifelong horse person and i grew up reading pony club secrets and watching stuff like flicka so i feel like i can bring #something personal to that concept #but i don’t want them to be a mando. i don’t know much about mando culture and i cba to learn so that was the one i did not want hem to be #and yet. i can only imagine them with mandalorian armour #they’re the same species as dryden vos. there’s next to no lore on his species and they’re non human in a way that’s easy to draw #so i can just make stuff up and not be constrained by canon #them being near human is also relevant to their story. they spent a lot of time around humans and they’re close enough to human to get by #but not human enough that there’s something off. they don’t quite fit in and they always felt on the outside looking in #hence why they prefer the company of animals #maybe i’ll have them formerly working in fathier racing but that might be too projecty #this is so rambly i apologise i’ve been very talkative on here recently #ohh this is very off the cuff but maybe they’re the child of loyal mandalorians but never really subscribed to it themselves #having spent a lot of time around fathiers also meant they spent less time around mandalorians. so despite technically being mando #and wearing the armour they don’t really identify very strongly as a mandalorian

[nabaath-areng]

Fuck Sweden as a nation for turning the woobification of our history and culture into one of our greatest exports, pretending to be wholesome and peaceful while profiting from conflicts elsewhere. For never having the fucking spine to take any stance ever and acting high and mighty for being "neutral", all while frothing at the mouth to get a piece of that colonial cake from the cool kids table where the superpowers are seated. For recognizing Palestine's sovereignty only to then consider a withdrawal of said recognition in response to the current genocide. For allowing islamophobia to get to the point it is now and then pointing fingers at jews as a whole. For giving less of a flying fuck about swedish jews during WW2 and until now, yet patting ourselves on the back and taking credit for heroic deeds done primarily by individuals.

I wish nothing but absolute hell and misery for Ulf Kristersson, who is even more spineless about his inaction than I thought possible. Who had nothing to say about the burnings of the torah and quran, only to claim that he stands for fighting antisemitism. Who puffed up his chest and was acting so tough about the things he would do once he became prime minister, only to hold up on none of his lofty promises in true conservative fashion. Both he and his lackeys (as well as their fanclubs of raging screaming bigots) deserve nothing but hurt and hell for continuing to destroy the lives of all marginalized groups in Sweden, all while shamelessly increasing their own salaries blatantly in the open, to then have the sheer and utter gut to declare that actively supporting genocide is within our best interests.

This country's audacity is one that only became possible because we sacrificed our neighbours safety for the sake of maintaining our own, because when your most recent war was in 1809 it's apparently not possible to even try and comprehend the horrors of modern warfare. That is, besides producing the tools for it to happen elsewhere.

#the complete disdain for compassion and humanity is abhorrent #not to mention incomprehensable #im sorry im all over the place bedridden cause bad pain day which makes me even more angry #because i want to strangle everyone in riksdagen with my bare hands #and like im sorry not to be a state hater or anything (sike) but how #and i mean HOW. can one claim that we know democracy #when the people who supposedly represent the rest of us #can just go ahead and do these types of things willy nilly as they please #how can we claim to have free will when the burdens of having to earn the right to life #by working to death and being left to die if we cant adapt to the system #and being actively drained too dry to dare take risks standing up #how can that ever be freedom? #seeing everything coming out of gaza in video audio images all of it #and feeling hopeless? powerless to do anything? #how is that NOT suppression? to break people down to the point they cant find the spirit to fight? #to cast other regular people as villains so that all energy is spent falling into bigotry? #social media is hell but its also one of our greatest tools now #its like being able to zoom out and see the greater overview of the stranglehold capitalism and colonialism has on the world #im not coherent at all and my thumbs are dying now i just #but sooner or later somethings gotta give re: the way our society is built as a whole globally

[yj-98]

. 🧍

#it is repeatedly soulbreaking that without fail i will - every late fall + into winter - just become So Much Worse #every spring + summer ill be marginally better and ill make friends and feel social and like i can DO things #and then without fail i will recede and let people down and its just. i am tired. literally so tired of the cycle #i dont want to sound dramatic and call it ''letting people down'' and ''being a disappointment'' but its so. like i can barely feel human #i do Not have the ability to upkeep social connection and friendships half the year its so fucking pathetic. frankly. #but i like making friends i LIKE people. girl someone get me some counseling and SSRIs or something #ptsd and depression and lack of vitamin D gang. i guess. #because the feeling that im alone and hurting others by isolating against my own better judgment is soooo inescapable. yearly. #like whats the point. im tired of conversations having to start with ''hey sorry i was busy and my brain wants me dead'' #rook.log