#I am v. v. emotional rn

[salted-macarons-archived]

KASANE TETO SYNTHV KASANE TETO IS ON SYNTHV i mean this in the most positive way, I feel like screaming right now I will be going apeshit for the rest of the night

#teto kasane #kasane teto #synth v #重音テト #synthesizer v #vipperloid #KASANE TETO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #I AM SO HAPPYFOR HER #I AM FEELING EMOTIONS SO MUCH RN #salted artsss

[queerbuckleys]

i really do hate when i am this angry cause it feels like i have no where to put it. i want to scream and blow up but i also do not want to be accused of being bitchy or whatever or my anger isnt actually justified. and it really is amplified this week and two days ago i said gifmaking is net positive despite all the shit other people pull and now i am not so fucking sure because this feels awful. and i am apparently done being apathetic about it but not enought to actually stand up for myself cause oh no what if someone doesnt like me. and i dont want this to beat me down so much that i stop because that would be letting them win or something. so i guess this is my vent post about it. and thats that.

#guess i am a pathological people pleaser after all #i wish being too nice too people wasnt a flaw in this gd society #also it feels stupid to be mad about this of all things atm but emotions are v weird #but it also makes sense that this is what im latching to rn idk

[perilegs]

ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion

#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it #shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable #to process why i can't answer a simple question #and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that #wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me #a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her #which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk #in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am #but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal #im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk #i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i #i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him' #bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of #being in control of his life #so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal #like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good #it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support #also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him #we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices #besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words #to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words #i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for

[toastsnaffler]

okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It

#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks #its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue #wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it #even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it #ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm #but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought #it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter- #most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting #but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it #and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself #im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud #aaanyway #im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up..... #ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick #yawns so loud bye for now #.diaries

[goldenhypen]

i randomly found my old blog again and WOW ,,,, TELL ME WHY IM SAD i even stalked my old moots’ blogs too and i- 😭 the way so many things have changed since then :(

#it’s getting close to 5 years i’ve started writing fanfiction which is kinda crazy how time FLEW BY #it’s like reminiscing or looking back at old pictures #we’ve come a long way yall 🥲 #NO BUT DONT EVEN BOTHER LOOKING FOR THAT BLOG #WE DONT TALK ABOUT HER #and smth that scares me is that at least one of my old moots from that blog follows me on here so #like every time i see her in my notifs i freak out wondering if she knows it’s me 😭 #i abandoned that place and ran away for no reason 😭 #and ik to never make that mistake again 🫡 #but idk why going through my old blog makes me wanna transform this one or make a side blog #i think i’ve just been rlly wanting to start writing for other groups in addition to enha again #if i do tho it’ll v likely be on a new blog #cuz ik a lot of my followers only look for enha content on here #and that’s ok w me #ahhh i feel sad for some reason 😭 #maybe that’s cuz it’s 1:30 am rn 😐 #and this is the time of the day i get more emotional so 🧍🏻‍♀️ #no but pls don’t search for my old blog 😭🙏🏻 #i think if you search hard enough you’ll be able to tell it’s me #but it’ll be a hard task that’s not worth taking on i can promise you that #but hmmm thoughts are thinking rn #em speaks

[izzy-b-hands]

Get attacked!! 💜✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨💜

Alexz!!! Thank you! 🫂🫂❤️❤️ I'm going to have to send this around to folks tomorrow when I'm on my laptop again!! thank u for thinking of me 🫂❤️

#text post #ask box things #apologies i am v stoned and overly emotional rn so this probably seems a silly reply but #u care me. u think of me. i am v glad to have u as a friend 🫂❤️

[soldier-poet-king]

Anyway i was Correct in the tags of that Caleb post like

John darnielle 🤝 Caleb 🤝 2003 Peter Pan (🤝me) in some sort of Venn diagram about being sure you'd die young and learning to be a person in your late 20s or early 30s and having the whole short, long, /human/ life and its endless terrible frightening wonderful possibilities spread out in front of you, the question of 'what comes next' being one of excitement and wonder, not fear and anxiety, of 'to live would be an awfully big adventure'

#franposting #fran are you okay? never. #i am SO emotional and so full of so much good and hope and fear and flinching terror and love and its all. a big jumbly mess #and idk what to do with it all #this is what art is for. what stories are for. what else are we supposed to do. how else are we supposed to try to understand. #to communicate. #i have to go back to my v boring task rn. normally it would be a task i love. but i am Too Much today to want to fiddle with it #not even my beloved metadata

[wifegideonnav]

homestuck is getting SAD and i don’t WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i don’t want to watch them sobbing over each other’s corpses :/

#I’ve gotten stuck in reread village #just refinished act 3. skipping the stupid intermission. so not too long from now I will be right back at the sad parts #it’s just like. i think part of the reason i latched onto hs over christmas is bc a piece of engaging media with an interesting plot/ #relatable and lovable characters/CRUCIALLY a very stupid sense of humor was exactly what I needed #and now I’m like. invested and it’s getting angsty. which I am into!!! but I’m like. v stressed out rn #which makes me fragile #and so I want my fiction to be an escape yk? which it can’t really be (at least not that kind of escape) if it gets my emotions up #but it’s like I rly want to get to act 6 #I’m 2/3(?) of the way through 5.2 so I’m almost there #and I really want them all to get together + I’ve been promised lots of juicy character development and relationship building #but I also know it keeps getting angstier #and so idk what to do lol!!! #whatever rant over I’ll figure it out #my friend and I have been reading out loud a lot so that’s probably how I’ll do it #bc it’s more fun plus I can yell with her and also hit her when I’m mad that I started it in the first place lol #bc of the angst #(she’s starting htn soon and I can’t wait for the roles to be reversed teehee) #anyway. rant over for real now #if youre still reading this send me a spoiler free ask about how much you love terezi or kanaya or something #op #hs

[oatbugs]

i feel rly irredeemably horrible rn...longing for emotional support....anyway vent in tags

#physically i feel so ill etc . and i have to catch up on so much #and i just got a grade back for an assignment and it wasnt a 1st and literally almost . cried bc #it rly was supposed 2 be. i dont have my housing sorted out for next yr and i am rly worried #i look hideous rn bc my face is rly swollen and it was a fat transfer so u dont get to see results for like #6 months but mostly the swelling should settle in like a month but that means i will just look #kind of monsterous for a while. i cant do archery anymore bc it involves heavy weights ig which im supposed to not do #and its like as soon as i find smth i like it is taken away...i feel . like shit. etc. and according to the clinic it is Not Normal to be #so weak. have to get lasik in a few days while still recovering from transfer + nose surgery so i literally #feel like my body is going to give out but also idk if i will find time to catch up on stuff etc i feel likr my brain is rotting #i basically have no support system rn except my gf bc my friends are all so busy w their own stuff #which is also v bad. like i cannot rely on her as my sole source of emotional support #feels like academics etc have taken a backseat this yr so far and that is Horrible like i need that to not be the case #but im too nauseous and weak etc to sit up for prolonged periods of time taking notes #taking 7 antibiotics a day etc..idk . i have to travel 6hrs #tmrw then have lasik on monday then travel back 6hrs the same afternoon or tuesday morning #like i legit already feel like my body is giving out idk how i will do this. and i feel so incredibly alone throughout #all of this . idk. #genuinely i am turning into a black hole and if things get bad again i will lose it . i hate this feeling i hate the #marked loneliness that comes b4 things spiral downwards and this feels like it #that was a lot ✌️ anyway if any1 has any advice or words to share or anytjing to say ever pls do #i need human interaction soooo badly #personal

[dogheartbf]

ok. maybe i need to learn compromise

#actually and genuinely like maybe thats part of the problem..? i feel like when it comes to stuff like this i'm not v self aware and i dont #rlly grasp how my behavior + actions impact a situation and thats something i need to and rlly want to work on #like obv they need to change things but. i'm starting to think they dont have to change nearly as much as we both think #i am not just a victim here. which i can internalize just fine on its own but is v hard to accept? hold? #in the same space as all my hurt and anger. which is a lot of v intense and deep hurt and anger. bc yeah i did contribute to the situation #developing as it did but i was also done rlly rlly wrong #ok not gonna think about it rn bc i'm getting upset again #(which i rlly have to come up w a better way to deal w it than ''stop thinking about it.'' i just dont know what else to do against the #literal tidal wave of emotion that swallows me whenever i think about what happened. and that day.) #.txt

[noxtivagus]

i will never shut up about ffxiv huh

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #after finishing that emotional quest i am. #just afking a bit in the doman enclave to sell things as usual n. bro. i #peak 1 am i get emotional v easily #listening to cyan's theme brings back memories hehe. stormblood n hien.. i enjoyed that very much #oh n.. ah i just remembered an old friend sorry. that was last year. sigh #that aside i'm just really happy to play ffxiv again rn :( #i'll reply to one of my other friends later bcs she hasn't been doing well lately so i wna. offer some more words #now i'm just afking in sharlayan rn n it brings back so many memories #i remember very keenly. like emet-selch i really am a slave to sentiment #hehe going to sharlayan for the first time w apollo. christmas break. we finally bought endwalker. started msq #it was nighttime when the cutscene ended. we took pictures n marveled at the new sight. the music #the first time i heard the ost n then yk the chorus motif of flow in it.. i'd remember that first moment forever #how.. magical it was. a new adventure. heart filled with hope n love i was really happy then #fast forward i remember afking here a lot while waiting for pf to fill up for raid. i remember afking while waiting for frontlines queue #i remember everything in msq too. i remember doing that all still while we were in our old house #i remember walking around sharlayan a bit while talking to my friends in our lil cwls #i remember months ago earlier this year of how anxious i was. the burdening need of feeling like i have to catch up.. #the dread of falling behind. and then moving to materia from twintania i remember how lonely i felt #that lasted for a while. i'd miss the past so much. i miss ffxiv aaaa #i haven't really played actively in months now the thought of it makes me rather sad.. but i treasure every moment i have here #this game will always be here for me to return to. i have a new friend now on ravana yeah. we'll be making that fc in a few days #soon. more friends plan to play. hopefully. i love them all so v much :( i'm emotional rn ohgod ffxiv just. enables me to be vulnerable /po #i've had anxiety bcs like yk returning to the game after. not keeping up w so much content is so daunting.. it's scary #but i've already done so much. i'll continue to do what i can. endwalker's been out for nearly a year n it feels so weird #so much has happened since then but time's going by so fast it's really weird. but just. relaxing in this quiet moment is #it's enough for me right now. i promised myself many things. the least i could do is. do what i can for that #just like my wol here yk looking at her white rose :< i'll hold unto my youth. i shouldn't have to let go of it #flow's lyrics oh my god i remember earlier this year i wld listen to it when i was sad n stressed n it wld bring me to tears. comfort

[fictionallyinparadise]

I want to kiss 47 I want to be held by him I want to steal his shirts I want to be a badass with him I want to hold his hand while we hear a briefing from our lovely girlfriend I want to see his smile....... Fu c . K

#❤️; the agent's partner #gush post #yearning post #✨shark week✨ started today and i am v. yearning and emotional #just the thought of him holding me rn is making me teAR UP!!!!! #also i want comfort from my cramps oh go

[mushiewrites]

I can’t even function rn tbh. I’m just so overwhelmed with emotions. I’m so fucking happy for them and I’m just so anxious for the meet up

#mushie speaks #i am feeling so many positive and negative emotions at once #it’s v hard to regulate rn #holy cow #i’m gonna paSS OUt

[touchlikethesun]

okay i do like the “like a mother” line, i like it a lot, and i do think family is a much better way to describe yuki and tohru’s relationship especially when you take tohru’s feelings towards him into account. but it does feel like a massive retcon. like no one can convince me that that was the plan from the start, takaya was leaning into the love triangle for the longest time until it became clear that there was no way tohru could end up with anyone but kyo. at which point she had to find some way to explain away yuki’s feelings. i think it would have worked better if yuki had come to the realisation that his feelings towards tohru were platonic during the conversation with kakeru. like it was a revelation for the audience, it should have been a revelation for yuki too.

#none of this i’ve known since the beginning and tried to pretend otherwise stuff #it would kinda be in character for yuki if he was pretending to be rational #but he was getting very emotional and jealous at times so it doesn’t really fit #i will have more thoughts later am v tired rn #yuki sohma #fruba

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

BY. THE. WAY.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

#okay let me hyucking TELL you #if you have a bias against anything throw that thwip out rn #I’m joking just leave #NOW #You need NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE #NO PRIOR EMOTIONAL OR ANY KIND OF INVESTMENT #watch Love Wins All by IU #seriously #I #I cannot explain how this has altered me as a person #the acting #it #I knew I’d prolly like it when I started it bc I am biased towards the faces of it #but like #I didnt #there was no way that I could have expected #the people in that video are NOT #they’re not IU and V #that is an actual hyucking #thats two people who have #theyre young and shared but have already been through so much #I cant #just watch it #love wins all #iu #v

[two-bats]

I LOVE MY NEPHEW he just sent me a fucking text giving me his condolences for MatPat stepping down from the theorist channels holy fuck

#bats squeaks #im SCREAMING w laughter rn oh my god????? #i domt know how to respond thats So Fucking Funny #he literally said ''i'm so sorry'' LIKE #okay yes i am sad matpat is stepping down but i have like??? never expressed anything but vaguely positive emotions toward his theories???? #where did this kid get the idea that i'm sad enough abt matpat to need condolences JRHEHDBDB #its v v sweet tho i appreciate the sentiment #i am also. coincidentally currently watching the latest fnaf game theory video .