#I am also too tired to read more

[cryptiduni]

…i just saw this poll and my unevolved brain gel wriggled inside my cranium like a feral fish:

idk how you look at his official art and call him conventionally attractive. my man looks like a wet dog and has eyebags for daysss. face full of pox scars, skin pale af, and those shaggy ass hair & a rugged beard hanging from his flat long face.

he is pretty *to me* but like dude???

—not exactly a heartthrob boy band material is he?

obv I wouldn’t call him “misunderstood baby uwu” if we are talking a little more seriously —but to be fair jean is having possibly the worst week of his life. the car? fucking sunk. case? unsolved. not to mention his close partner (who is also an ass mind you) doesn’t even remember him, already running around with a new one.

yeah he is absolutely foul and aggressive and degrading harry but like i said before (in my tag essay lol) judit also makes ableist comments and i don’t see people hating her because she’s outwardly nice—

and respects harry as her superior. her BOSS.

(also a friend with benefits? /nope, it’s just him harassing judit/ as well but not as a complicated relationship compared jean and harry’s brötherbund. only a few months of acquaintanceship.)

plus it’s highhlyyy likely that harry is not the only one substance abuse. —look at jean’s rudolf-looking-red-ass-nose. a drunkard’s sniffers. probably had few lines with him late at night… when your lifetime partner is an alcoholic it's hard to say no.

about the left for dead thing, they left because harry told them to fuck off. tbh harry is nightmare to work with esp pre-bender. (and am saying as a pathetic little unmedicated neurodivergent woman.)

but when the second time they left revachol was not jean’s fault, and it was judit’s suggestion anyway. the squad probably thought that since harry had someone a little more responsible looking after him. it will be fine when they come back. the tribunal was absolutely unaccounted for.

yet despite all of these things, he will try to come back to make sure he is ok and accommodate harrier to the best of his abilities which is wearing very thin. look at him trying to make up to our harry boy:

anyways am incapable of writing coherent thoughts (even though i want to talk about it for hours) that make sense so go look at sygneth’s jean psychological analysis instead. it is an excellent read. please go read.

#op might wanna get their eyes or head checked lol. they looked at a little too much fanart. #+do not interact with the original poll. don’t look it up. it’s not worth it. don't give it traction. don't attract drama. #am sure op is just a troll. prob barely spent any time playin/readin DE. not that i am that much media literate but still... #i am sure there are things i left out. oh well... #i know that you need high EDC build run or lotta reading to understand so his “lore” so is kinda gatekept-- #but it’s frustrating to see shit takes like this lmaoo #also don’t get me wrong i like judit. she is a tired working woman w/ a pathetic husband + 2x children. she just wanna grab jean & go home. #p.s stella as in stella from ‘‘helluva boss’’. idk didn’t like its S2 i think she coulda been more complex character. #but not everything needs to be deep and meaningful i guess. simple villains are ok. #her anger is justified towards her husband’s infidelity but she’s kind of a dumb royal brat. esp in s2. just calls of his assassination rig #heron vs secretary #angry bird vs angry bird shit fr beuh #disco elysium #jean vicquemare #jean posting #jean heron vicquemare #loyal is the he… #no. am not tagging HB or stella. #kinda long #longish post #cryptid rambles

[the-mad-owl]

Some of my expierences living as a trans man - because being openly nonbinary here will have you loose all access to resources - with my girlfriend, a nonbinary trans woman. Because people genuinely need to touch grass. This is our lived expierence: it largely does not matter which way around we are trans. People hate us both. Stop dividing the community.

I have been on T for 3 years. I have facial hair. I have not been able to get surgeries and my chest ist large. I can't bind. I try to dress masculine in public for safety, but anything I wear is still seen as feminine due to my figure. I would like to dress feminine, but can't. I am constantly dysphoric.

My girlfriend has facial hair. She tries to dress masculine in public for safety, but people can often tell something queer is going on anyway. Sometimes she dresses in a more feminine way, but oftentimes she can't. She is constantly dysphoric.

People do not care which way around I am queer. They do not care which way around she is. They see someone with facial hair who is too feminine. They see someone who does not fit. We both get the same looks.

My endocrinologist refuses to give trans people who take testosterone information. He additionally tells them they will not be able to get pregnant. (Wrong and dangerous.) He does not warn them of any changes besides body hair growth. If we complain about anything, he will kick us out. My period did not stop and I had horrible pains. He refused to help. He is currently threatening me as I have not had any surgeries yet and he is doubting my trans-ness. He deadnames and misgenders me always.

The same endocrinologist refuses to give people who take estrogen T-blockers. He does not inform them of estrogen correctly. He doubts their trans-ness if they do not have surgeries for too long. He threatens to kick them out when they complain. He deadnames and misgenders them. My girlfriend is scared to go there.

My endocrinologist does not care that I am a trans man and she is a trans woman. We will never be man and woman enough. We are not allowed to be nonbinary. He kicks out nonbinary people straight away. Neither of us have access to appropriate medical help.

When I buy clothes I can't find anything that fits me. My chest and hips do not fit in men's clothes, my shoulders do not fit in women's clothes anymore. People stare at me in the men's section and in the women's section. I hate shopping.

My girlfriend can't find clothes that fit her in the women's section. She is dysphoric about shopping in the men's section. People stare at her. She also hates shopping.

I am trying to find a psychiatrist and a psychiatric clinic. The last psychiatrist I had yelled at me for being trans. The last therapist I had kicked me out for it. My current therapist has contacted someone he knows in a clinic and got the answer "Your client shouldn't come here, we aren't good at dealing with trans people." I am terrified of getting help.

My girlfriend has seen me go through this. She badly needs a therapist to start estrogen. She is terrified of getting help as well.

The people who are supposed to help us do not care which way we are trans. They simply "do not know how to deal with us". They "have no experience". They are transphobic.

When I was at the hospital last weekend, I was constantly misgendered. I was ignored, even though the woman in the same room as me was given treatment. I was treated as if I was in the wrong room, on the wrong station, because it was the woman's station. They put me there. Then they proceeded to punish me for it, as if I was trespassing, when I was having an emergency. A doctor who was supposed to see if my heart was beating correctly accused me of not really being trans with disgust - I have no idea why he should have cared in the first place. I'm scared and unsafe in medical environments. I try my best to avoid them.

My girlfriend is in chronic pain. She can still pass as cis well enough to be treated fine - if she doesn't speak up and let's herself be misgendered, put in the men's section, act correctly and isn't obviously queer. So she does not seek treatment. She's scared and unsafe in medical environments, and does her best to avoid them.

I am currently denied access to both the men's and the women's bathroom. I look too much like the other gender each way. At my last job, the cleaning ladies told my boss about which bathroom I was using in hopes he would yell at me for it. I'm scared to travel out go out for long periods of time because of it.

My girlfriend can still use the men's bathroom if she dresses masculine, but as soon as she doesn't, that's over as well. She has the same problem I do.

The laws in Germany are supposed to be changed. Currently, to change our name and gender, we have to pay up to 2000€ to people who ask us what panties we wear and which porn we watch. If a trans man has long hair, or a trans woman short hair, that might be reason enough to deny us. Then, judges have the final say. The laws are supposed to have been changed years ago. They still haven't been. We both have to go through this.

Lastly, I have been rejected from the gynecologist for being a trans woman. I have endometriosis. I have a uterus. They knew this. They were transphobic, and they do not care to learn about trans people. Why would they?

Our daily lives expierence in discrimination is incredibly similar, if not the same. I can be discriminated for being a trans man, a trans woman, nonbinary, just looking queer. As can my girlfriend. Bigots do not care to learn about us. They just hate us. They see I have breasts and a beard and hate me the same as they hate my girlfriend for wearing a skirt with facial hair shadow visible.

This isn't to say everything is the same. We both have gender and transition specific issues as well. Conversations go differently, outings go differently at times, and we know who the news loves to target most. That conversation has to be had, but this isn't a post about that.

I have seen a ridiculous amount of infighting between transmasc and transfem people recently. (Often completely forgetting those of us who are unaligned and do not fit in that binary by the way.) I am posting this to say: THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LABELS. They don't give a shit. They'll hate you either way. You're a dirty queer in the eyes of bigots as soon as you are openly gender nonconforming in any way whatsoever. We expierence SO MUCH shared discrimination. Stop this complete idiocy and GO OUTSIDE. Connect with a community. Ideally find the next trans person you have nothing in common with and then talk. What the hell is this "oh they have it better than us" on both sides supposed to achieve exactly?? I could list dozens of examples just like the ones above.

Lastly, one more:

When I expierence transphobia, when I see a scary post on social media, when politicians are trying to kill us and when the doctor I had an appointment with questioned my genitals more than my pain, I go to my girlfriend, I look at the many pride flags we put up in our apartment, I hug her, I kiss her, I feel safe. For just a moment.

And when she sees the news, when she's scared to dress in a certain way, to do her makeup on her own, when she expierences comments about her queerness and struggles to find medical help, she comes to me. And I hope she feels safe as well.

We must help each other.

#Long post #trans #transgender #discourse #this is more vent than anything else #i am so tired #i am so tired of all this #shut up shut up shut up and listen to each other #also if my gf reads this hiiiiii i know I'm supposed to rest but i got too upset and didn't want to wake you :( #transmisogyny

[mymp3]

trailer talk

#compendiumnotebook #i probably articulated a lot of my trailer thoughts better to my mutuals and friends i was dming the other day #but the tldr of it is that im kind of disappointed they only seem to be adapting mostly movie and portable stuff #not that i hate hate portable or hate hate the movies #but saying that this is going to be a faithful remake of base 3 and having only portable events and options available + adding movie stuff #feels like a big slap in the face to fes and manga enjoyers. and dont get me started on the hammy lovers. #and also is just straight up incorrect. wish they would say what they're adapting rather than saying its a faithful remake #damn im so sorry yall. especially because if they wanted to do a portable adaptation she should be here. #even if im not her number 1 fan i get how dirty it feels #but tbh i am leaning more towards femc as dlc rather than the answer as dlc now #bc atp it just seems like they take fes for granted and brush it off #bc its not as popular #just feels kind of mean a bit #“manga and fes are there. but portable and movies seem to be popular so we can do more of that!” #minato being able to work a job is something i dont like. he's constantly overworked in every other department of his life. #now hes gotta work too? #it seems like this hero is less chronically ill tired angry and like theyre trying to give him more energy and “wipe away his wrongs”. #iddkkkkkk #im sure I'll warm up to it in game #and find a way to work this into my reading #but for now those are my thoughts #oh! i like his mp3 player saying hi to him. thats precious.

[ajaxxx-x]

“Kyle Rayner is so soft. He would never hurt anybody”

Shut up. Yes he would. He’s so angry and he represses that anger by putting on a friendly smile and by keeping it all inside untile it’s too much and in the end he just explodes.

These panels are very dear to me because what they show is Kyle having one the hardest time in his life. He has met his father after years of researching for him, with him he also found out a new aspect of himself and his origins that he doesn’t have the time to explore, but before that he asked his girlfriend to marry him, taking the big step that he could never do either with Alex or Donna and she turned him down, he becomes some sort of willpower god and try to fix everything he thinks is wrong in the universe, which also includes giving Jen her powers back and repairing john’s spine making him walk again and also tracking down his father. Eventually he decides to use his powers to rebuilt OA and the guardians therefore giving them up. Eventually Terry gets beaten up almost to death by some homophobes and Kyle, who’s no longer ion, realises he can’t do nothing to help his friend, he helped everyone in the whole universe who needed it and if only he had kept his powers a little longer he could’ve healed Terry too.

He feels helpless so he does the only thing green lantern can do at that moment, catch the bad guys.

#I’m so tired it’s 1:40 in the morning and I have to wake up at 7 am tomorrow #anyway this is a post to all those people that look at Kyle thinking he’s the purest of all the gls just because he follows his heart #or bc he’s the ‘sensitive artist’ kind of guy #also they shoulder him explore his identity more I’ve read a really good fic about him and Jen meeting other parts of his family and I feel #they should seriously let him do that in comic too #If tomorrow I wake up and reading this I realise I made some mistake out of tiredness ill probably delete this #kyle rayner

[ballsballsbowls]

I realize that many book subgenres are sort of arbitrary, and I realize that the infantilization of books (not exclusively in content but also in words per page, sentence length, etc) may not be exclusive to fantasy, AND I am not out to shame people who are “adults” for reading books that aren’t written for adults (regardless of the reason you would do so) but like...

don’t you ever get tired? 

Do you ever get so fucking tired of searching shit like, “Internet, I would like a recommendation for a fantasy series that came out in the last 12 years that isn’t YA and is an adult fantasy written for adults that ISN’T written by a Mormon. It doesn’t HAVE to have sex and violence, but I’d sure prefer them.”

And it just returns lists RIDDLED with suggestions for books that are assuredly for children. Some of them were even very GOOD books for children but like...

tl;dr if I ask for a Fantasy Series For Adults and the response from a search engine ONE MORE TIME is “Hey, Winternight was really popular adult fantasy series for adults for sure! Have you read it? I was probably procedurally generated and am very intelligent.” I am going to savage someone like a wild dog. 

#I was after like TWO more books for a book order #I even get leaning YA heavy is a cash cow because you are getting teens AND adults with mid reading skills #but I'm just so tired of fantasy always being about getting the kids reading and not the adults who actually but books #I get I am a double annoyance because I like SEMI traditional fantasy but not TRADITIONAL traditional #like I want to read in 3rd person and I don't want something too poetic or experimental #but I ALSO don't want to read whatever the newest hottest woman-hating brandsando clone is you feel me? #stop b think of the children

[iguessitsjustme]

hello friends i am back. just had a mental reset in a weird way but i feel much better now so i'm back to being silly goofy on tumblr

#rae irl #i had a very strange time away not gonna lie #i'm not counting the few hours i was here on saturday as being back really #but now i'm back to annoy you all #well sort of. i'll probably be on less next week for work reasons but i'll still be here #anyway accidentally formed a cult while i was gone #also had an entire mental breakdown and drank on a school night #realized i'm the only staff member at my job in my 30s and the next oldest is 5 years younger than me #send immediate assistance my desk mate quit so i am all alone and no one snarks with me #started watching anime again and also finished a book series i've been trying to read for years #there's more but i'm too tired and cold to keep typing #time to go reblog some things

[hellothere-generalangsty]

It's way past my bedtime ans my cat is sleeping-purring next to me but I thought I'd post the process of the @ailani-reillata Ailaniversary art I made today just to talk a bit more about it

Disclaimer: doing traditional art is cool until you need to scan it or post a picture of it 😂 also kinda long post below so ofc no obligation at all to read it!

Phase one: Sketching the Idea

My inspiration for the posture was a Yara Flor comic strip I found on Pinterest. Yara looks over her shoulder and her hair falls on the side of her face, and I loved the way it framed her face and thought it would look great with Ailani's hair.

I drew a little doodle on the page to help me visualize how the hair would be divided, and focused on 3 main parts (the lines, the bubbles, the empty space) which would - supposedly- help me during the lineart stage. Below are images of the final sketch.

I was hesitant on adding details to her arms, such as the folds of a dress, but I was so anxious about ruining the drawing I abandonzd that idea. I was considering adding her tattoos and was still not decided at this stage of the drawing.

Phase 2: Line-ing the Art

Is that even a real word? Idk, I'm too tired to English properly so we will say it is. Following the sketching phase was naturalle the lineart phase, which is one of my favorite stage when drawing. I bought new inking pens too so I was able to test them out, and it went quite well!

As you can see, the ribbons, outline of the skin and facial features have been done with my new pens, and i was quite happy with the result! It gives a more natural look to the whole drawing in my opinion.

At this stage I decided not to add her arm tattoos and consider this version of Ailani as the one you would find in the early chapters of Begged and Borrowed Time, so before she would get her tattoos.

Phase 2.5: Line-ing the Hair

This stage has it's own part because it was really fun to do! The inspiration for the way I draw hair comes from @/ssavaart (aka Scott Christian Sava on Youtube). I've been following him for a while now and I'm trying to push my art beyond my comfort zone and try new stuff thanks to him, and having fun with drawing hair is one of these things!

Look how beautiful these curls are. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm really proud of the drawing at this stage 😂 it's the perfect moment where the inking went well and I have not yet ridked myself with the watercolours - so I always take a long sight (and tons of pictures) to celebrate reaching this stage without incidents.

Phase 3: Watercolours

Here comes the difficult part. It always makes me nervous because I always fear ruining my drawing and all the efforts I put into it by doing the watercolours. But I love the medium too much and if I want to get better I need to practice. So, testing the waters, I finally dive head first into this crucial stage.

The watercolouring goes well, I'm overall satisfied enough to take some pictures and even try to scan it, with the hope that the scanned rendering will be better than the usual "photographing and editing" I do with my phone.

Spoiler alert: the scan was NOT better than the pictures, and no amount of editing could change that. (Or maybe I am just very bad at editing.) So, back to my "photographing and editing" habits, I somehow managed to get a good enough result:

I still feel unsatisfied as I find these digital versions do not properly render the visuals I have on paper, IRL. With the digital versionsw the hair is either so dark we don't see the details, or too bright, the colours are too warm and light... And while Ailani looks light-skinned, the paper version has these visible brown tones that I struggled to find on the digital version, even when editing the pictures. The closest I got is the tone you see on the first picture, but the image is not lighted enough so the overall quality of the picture is a bit lessened by that.

Still, I won't complain too much, because overall it was a very fun drawing to do, I enjoyed every stage of it and I would love to do another piece like this! But for now I will go to sleep because it is Way Past My Bedtime 😂

If you've made it this far, thank you for your attention, feel free to let me know which stage is your favorite and what you liked most (or disliked most) about this drawing!

I for one really had fun doing Ailani's lips, as well as filling her hair, and colouring her eyes! 😊

#ailani #ailani art #I'm tagging just in case you wanna see more but again no obligation to read all of that or anything! #this post is mostly here to show the early stages coz I was so prouf of how smoothly it went!! #until the colours #it's always the colours 😂 #but I hope you enjoyed the drawing anyway #I've actually been working on it last weekend but couldn't finish it until this saturday because of my exams week #which is over btw which means i finally has time to read Begged And Borrowed Time!! #and I'm really excited about that!! #so yeah that's all for me now is time to sleep because it's like 4:19am right now and I am huu tired 😂 #once again happy Ailaniversary 💕💙 #also yes we can't see my signature on the drawings I cut it out by accident when i cropped the pictures and was too lazy to retake pics etc #please pretend like you see my name signed next to her hair x)

[fairybluedreams]

Hi y'all! Here is my finals campaign on why you should vote for Nani Pelekai in the @eldest-sibling-tournament today!!

Edited to add***

Poll just dropped vote Nani today!

https://www.tumblr.com/eldest-sibling-tournament/712608371217481728/eldest-sister-tournament-final-round

#polls #eldest sibling tournament #eldest sibling poll #nani pelekai #Lilo and Stitch #Lilo & Stitch #propaganda #campaigns #i've been working on this since a little before the sokka tournament #thinking the sokka and ed rounds were going to be neck and neck #and i was very wrong girl swept everytime #i'm so sorry sokka and ed y'all are wonderful siblings and deserve more respect on your names #anyways i was torn over finishing it or not cuz it felt kinda pointless since she's crushing her opponents with no help but i mean like #i already spent so much time on it so now y'all get to see it too #if this actually influenced you to vote for nani and you decide to reblog this please let me know in tags #cuz the sheer number of votes on the katniss-grayson poll was in the 10000s+ and that's wild compared to the notes on nani polls #also if y'all need me to copy paste the text from the slides under a read more or something for easier reading let me know #i don't mind doing it if there's a demand but it's is also 3:30 AM as i am typing this and scheduling this post for tomorrow #so i just couldn't do it when i was queuing this up i'm v tired #ok thanks byeeee #actual memes to come later depending on how voting seems to be going

[toastsnaffler]

okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It

#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks #its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue #wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it #even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it #ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm #but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought #it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter- #most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting #but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it #and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself #im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud #aaanyway #im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up..... #ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick #yawns so loud bye for now #.diaries

[oceanwithouthermoon]

tired of being called boring cuz i hate toxic ships </33 im sorry i get triggered easily by stuff like that brah, the most toxic my ships r allowed to get before i get triggered is a lil possessiveness and a hint of unhealthy codependency 🤭 beyond that, i literally get sick to my stomach lmao..

do what u want but anyone whose never been abused before does NOT get the right to call ME boring for not liking abusive ships..

#i just think too many people equate them not liking something as it being inherently bad.. why dont we all just shut up.. lmao #do ur thing tbh like if u enjoy reading it and dont condone abuse irl then go ahead #i just will not participate and thats okay bro like we dont all have to like the same things #be an individual bro like we dont all have to have the same likes and dislikes #why do i have to read comments on all my fav fics about how theyre tired of things being 'too fluffy' LEMME ENJOY MY LOVELY FLUFF #if i get a comment like that on one of MY fics it is literally over i will die #anyway.. #okay this is a little fib cuz i am also a huge fan of the cannibalism as a metaphor for love thing. um.. let me have this LMAO. #romanticizing cheating is something i just cant stand though ngl #honestly i dont know why i like toxic codependency and CANNIBALISM but having an affair is where i draw the line.. #i think consent is my issue like i need there to be consent or its over and i cry and throw up from reading it lmfao #i like toxicity when its because they love each other TOO much.. THATS IT.. NO MORE CHEATING NO MORE ONE SIDED ABUSE NO MORE #i will continue to enjoy my super healthy fluffy protective ships 5ever #meows post #fanfic #ao3

[throwawayaccount3482348873289]

Response

Thank you to Jade/Lolthia @/edens-gemstone for replying to the previous post. I will make an exception in replying as yes, there was a part I forgot to add, which is additional evidence to prove that all your accusations in the comments below are completely false. Allow me to address them one by one.

At the end, I will include some follow-up questions to add additional context for other users.

THE ACCUSATIONS

“Also you literally stalked my tumblr after this, rb posts about Adam that I wasn’t comfy being rb and possibly sent me harassing anons (idk for sure)”

I do not have a Tumblr. This account is made by someone else, posting on my behalf. But if you really are confident that it’s me reblogging these posts and sending harassing anons, post the blog and the anons. If you don’t know for sure, why did you post this? 

“You literally just… didn’t want me included because I wouldn't let you ship your OC with Ibara.”

As seen here, this claim is completely false. I explicitly mentioned that I had no problems with the pairing, but asked them to let me know prior next time to ensure the RP is consistent. I may have vaguely talked about an original story I was writing with my OC and Ibara outside of RP, but within the context of the RP, I have clearly stated that I was fine with the direction Lolthia wanted. 

None of what they had mentioned was communicated to me at all before the start of the RP. They didn’t even acknowledge what I said, just responding with ‘well I figured it would be obvious’.

Lolthia’s behaviour here is consistent with their stated intention in the previous post: to RP not because they want to collaborate, but because they want other writers to expend time and effort to fulfil their self-ship fantasies, without giving as much in return. Therefore, they didn’t bother giving context, let alone asking if their RP partners were okay with it.

“You even stopped our RP after getting mad about me dating Ibara.”

Lolthia stopped the RP themselves after I confronted them for ranting on their public blog about a communication issue they were unhappy with in this server.

Someone alerted me that they were talking about their RP server on their blog. I was concerned about those in the server who were on Tumblr. As their RP partner, I requested that they delete it and talk to us first in the future. We then had the following conversation.

The conversation ended with this rude remark and Lolthia proceeded to be inactive for a long time before starting the argument in the previous post.

“I got tired of constant pings asking me for stuff”/ “I… asked to stop being pinged because I was going through enough”

I need you to understand that you are the admin of the server. We needed your help to create threads to hold our RPs in. Instead of not saying anything when we pinged you only to throw a tantrum about it, why didn’t you pass the permissions or moderator roles to someone else, or at least notify us that you’d be inactive for a certain amount of time?

In the post where we were planning an RP and pinged you - If your interpretation of ‘maybe they can come in later to keep the narrative consistent’ is us excluding you, that’s honestly a you problem, mate.

TO LOLTHIA/JADE

Only one of the claims you have made against me is correct. Yes - presently, I do not like you. But it’s not because you are whatever you identify as, or that you ship with a specific character.

I do not like you because you vagued your own server members, including myself, on your public blog. When I found out and asked you to edit out the mention of our server at minimum, you still had the gall to try to convince me it didn’t affect anyone but yourself.

I do not like you for insulting my friends and I as writers by saying we were ‘just an alternative to character.AI’ all along. And as people, by comparing us to the hate anons who had sent you death threats when we did nothing of the sort. Then, twisting the above into these accusations, without a shred of proof to go with them. 

I am a ROLEPLAYER. Ibara to me is no more than a character and piece of intellectual property.

You: 

Explicitly conveyed that your position was to use us to help you get validation for your alleged ‘relationships’ in a similar way to Character.AI.

Took out your jealousy towards other fandom members onto us, even getting emotional when we merely talked about and shared screenshots of characters you liked. 

When we didn’t give you attention to your liking, accused us of ostracising you and wanting you dead.

Threw a tantrum at us for pinging you for basic admin duties as the server owner, because it wasn’t attention or praise.

The only irrational one here is not myself, but you, and the hard evidence in these two posts is overwhelming.

I won’t be entertaining any further responses. Please be reminded that any attempt to post my personal information publicly will be met with action by me.

TO OTHER USERS

Q: Did you make both these posts and the document? 

No, these posts are follow-ups to the document containing evidence, made by a different person. 

Q: Why did you feel the need to engage them rather than leave the server?

We had already talked only amongst ourselves, ignored any vents they had and began our own server long before these events.

Engaging them was at first a personal choice to defend my friends, who had done nothing wrong. At the time, I was not aware that this was common behaviour for them.

The comparison between us and the death threat anons, which could affect my friends’ reputations, was the most compelling reason for me to attempt straightening this out.

Q: Why has this post been made almost a year later?

Yes, I do agree that from the looks of it, Lolthia’s actions are old news. After I was informed, I personally did not want anything to do with them, and decided to let it go.

However, recently, my friends in the same fandom spaces have not had the luxury of curating their own online experiences because according to them, they are constantly remaking blogs. Furthermore, it was not easy for them to work up the courage to make this post, as being wrongfully accused of wanting someone’s death is not easy for anyone. So, I decided to back them up with the hard evidence they lacked.

Thank you for reading. 

#ok to reblog #ok to rb #I may as well also say something in the tags (I am the one posting on someone else's behalf): #I myself hope this is the last post made on here as well. There is nothing more to add honestly. #This is honestly getting tiring. I know you will read this Jade one way or another. You will come across it. #If you have evidence for the contrary and can prove that you are in the right please do so (I already know you can't). #You will claim to be 'harrassed' but that is not our intention (anyone sending you harrassment or threats is not behavior we tolerate). #(Also no we are sending no one after you nor 'stalk your blog'. Don't act as if we don't have anything better to do... Because we do) #Let me tell you a secret Jade: You are NOT important. We only had enough of your behavior online since it does not change. At all. #It affects others - It affected us and it is affecting the communities you are in as well as a good portion of their members. #Please let it go already. But you can't. Because... As you said yourself 'Any attention is good attention'. #And some of your current mutuals will try to say 'it adds fuel to the fire'. This is not the intention in any way. #The only intention is to document Jade's online behavior and warn others. Because they have already gone too far. #This is to document and prove that they are no different no matter where they go. We only want to spread awareness. #It is not just me and the other person who are sick of it. Many others are sick of it as well. We want it to stop. #Their actions affect others nowadays as well. Only last month there was yet another incident heavily affecting another person. #Why? Because Jade thought it was necessary to make a 'callout post'. Even though the situation was long over. #This should have been long over and everyone involved is trying to move on. But you Jade make it impossible. This has gone on far enough. #Not to mention having been exposed to your drama and graphic vents (which at least sound suicide baity) have also stressed me out. #I kept out of the drama but it was affecting my mental state as well. All because you manage to land yourself into so many controversies. #I moved blogs because I had enough of your shit. Seeing it day in and out does a lot to a person. #'But no one cares about me' - We do not wish you ill (that is the truth) but this has to stop somehow. You are not the victim here. #It's always others but honestly... Given how much shit you got yourself into maybe you are to blame. This isn't normal after all. #Maybe ask yourself what you are doing wrong. But you won't. You never will. You will paint us as 'the bad ones' here. #That's the only thing you know how to do. You cannot owe up to anything and you are proving it time and time again. Even now. #Why do you get defensive now and not when the document dropped? Because there is solid evidence for your bullshit. That's why. You know it. #Deleting because you will throw a temper tantrum? No. Forget it. But again if you have proof for your claims come forward. #To me personally if you wish. But beware: This is not the first time I have dealt with this bullshit. I know this behavior all too well. #You are pulling bullshit I have already seen. My advice is to just log off already and sort your problems out. #This is not the first time I dealt with your type. You show the pattern I honestly expect and you will react as I expect.

[chappellrroan]

it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames

#preacher's daughter both family tree songs #how she says in family tree “heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before” #and western nights “i would hold the gun if you asked me to but if you love me like you say you do will you ask me to?” #the whole house in nebraska song UGH #the outro of hard times i am tired of you still tied to me bleeding whenever you want too tired to move to tired to leave #american teenager gracie's cover i love you so so so so much i do it for daddy and i do it for dale i am doing what i want DAMN i am doing #it well #ptolemaea that stop scream i am the face of love's rage blessed be the daughters of cain bound to suffering eternal through sins of their #fathers commited long before their conception that whole outro in general #i tried to be good am i no good? am i no good? am i no good?....i just wanted to be yours? am i yours? am i yours?...if i am turning in you #stomach and making you feel sick am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? is just SO AGH #also god loves you but not enough to save you I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME #we know how it goes the more it hurts the less it shows but i feel like they all know and that's why i can never come back home and i spent #my life watching it go by from the sidelines and god i have tried but i think it's about time i put up a fight #and the instrumental songs their production is so so good #anyways yeah now i feel better if anyone is reading till here go listen to it thanks <3 #it's great for people with family issues #v.txt

[itsanit]

I can feel myself becoming a worse person everytime an x reader fic doesn't specify that the reader is female

#Happy pride everyone I'm getting misgendered by fictional characters bc some fanfic authors are lazy self-absorbed assholes #If you don't specify gender in your fics I literally hate you #Also like it makes me dislike the characters too #like wow I didn't know link of legend of zelda fame was transphobic #Is it sad that I'm genuinely angry about this? Yeah #But I've been dealing with this shit for 2 years now and I'm tired of it #Like am I just not allowed in the x reader part of fandom now that I'm a boy?? Is that how this works? #Also thank you to everyone who tags their works as fem reader or has a read more section after they specify reader is female #You've saved me from a downward spiral into depression many times #You and the authors who write gn or male readers are heroes #I guess I'll tag this fir the fandoms who need to hear this #twisted wonderland #legend of zelda #resident evil #If for some reason you reblog this you can tag the fandoms you want to see this too ig #Sorry I'm emotional about this and it's worded bad it's late and I have not been sleeping well #x reader

[theflyingfeeling]

so I'm going through the course contents of the courses I'll be teaching in my new job (yesssss it hasn't been cancelled wohoo) and I'm equal parts scared scared oh so scared because I have no idea if I'm at all qualified to teach any of this stuff, but at the same time I'm ridiculously excited because I get to teach about e.g. phonetics and I fucking love phonetics?? 😭

#i know the students will likely be slightly less thrilled than i am because phonetics can be a pain in the ass #it takes a while to get used to the terminology etc. #also writing!! i get to teach writing!! 😭😭😭😭😭 #i mean yeah i got to teach writing to highschoolers in my previous job too but it was...not quite the same let's put it like that :) #i'm feeling super tired though from feeling sadsadsad all weekend and from staying up so late to write my new fic #but i'm having the time of my life reading through all the course materials for phonetics aaaaaaa #did you know assimilation affects alveolar consonants t d n s z more than other consonants? 🥰 #my absolute dream job would be to teach joel proper pronunciation of english lol

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hi! I’m here suffering from lack of good Archivist!Sasha content as well 😭 On that note, do you have any fic on that topic you would recommend? Or just good Sasha fics in general, (or Jonsasha, if that’s your cup of tea)? Thank you in advance 😊

Tragically, I think there is a general dearth of good Archivist!Sasha content (and just about none of it Jonsasha content, as far as I can tell (and not only is Jonsasha my cup of tea, but the ONLY thing standing between it and the #1 OTP spot (currently occupied by JE) is the fact that the Jonsasha that I desperately crave exists in my brain and nowhere else)). Admittedly, I haven't looked very far into her tag yet (I should rectify that at some point tbh) but I've dug around the Jonsasha tag when I first got into it, and I know at least one fic where Sasha drifts towards Beholding through an interest in office gossip.

In terms of Jonsasha Ao3 has:

This very good Sasha lives fic where Jon shows up to Georgie's with an unconscious Sasha and everyone involved is very confused.

These two fics are cute also. The former is by @/suttttton and is them getting together, the latter is established Jonsasha from @/dickwheelie.

Eyevatar Sasha might actually be thinner on the ground (outside of fix-its where she solves everything and her canon reckless curiosity is completely ignored). Ao3 has:

This fic, which is Jongerry with outsider PoV Sasha. Just barely has the implication that she might be shifting towards the Eye (via prying into the lives of her coworkers) but gets a mention through sheer force of Excellent Sasha Characterization. I read this and I feel like I'm reading a fic from a Sasha Understander.

There's also this fic, which looks very promising but which I haven't actually gotten the chance to read yet, so I can't speak to its quality.

Unfortunately I've only gotten into Sasha fairly recently (especially as compared to Jon, who my brain latched onto in a deathgrip from the start), so I haven't gone through her tag yet. A scroll through the Archivist!Sasha or Beholding Avatar!Sasha tags pulls up a lot of fix-it and J//mart, which isn't really what I'm looking for from the concept. I'm sure there's more out there, and if/when I find them I'll come back to this ask probably, but I lucked into Reverse Nighthawks (I was on a Jongerry kick).

But god every day I wish that I could write romance and/or longfic, because about a year ago I read a Jonmichael fic that, when discussing alternate universes (where Jon ended the world) it's revealed that he once did an apocalypse out of love for his Archivist, Sasha James. And it was one (1) single line, but it struck me so hard because god. A perfect concept I think. The potential dynamics of Archivist!Sasha/Assistant!Jon are enthralling to me. Jon destroying the world (or helping her destroy the world? Cute date night I think: bringing about armageddon with your eldritch monster partner) for Sasha... anyway mostly I mentioned that one because My God if I have to live with that tantalizing AU rotating in the background of my mind 24/7 so do the rest of you.

#also I'm very sorry how much this was About Jon #I really /do/ love sasha it's just that jon lives in my brain literally all the time #I am incapable of making a single solitary tma post that is not like 50% about him #not a Single One #every character and relationship and dynamic must somehow include jon to interest me. I struggle to care about jon-less anythings #it's a Problem #anyway I really really love sasha and want to write her one day but I need to finish my JE stuff first #the thing is the sasha in my brain is in zero other places #I extrapolated some stuff from canon to create a Blorbo but I don't think many other people interpret her the same way #I have some sasha and jonsasha stuff lying around somewhere but the gist is that I think sasha should become a morally questionable eyevata #who feeds the eye by invading people's privacy ''accidentally.'' based on her actions in the s1 finale she's probably a good person usually #but is reckless when protecting those she cares about and ESPECIALLY when curious and I want her to be a lil freaky with it #too tired to string my sasha thoughts together properly but they're mostly about how she should have a fun corruption arc #I want her to end the world in s3. I want her to have extremely difficult and complicated feelings about leaving the institute. about being #an eyevatar also. I think she didn't get enough screentime to say a lot for certain but she has enough interesting and complex things in he #brain that she could offer an interesting perspective if she survived or was the archivist. I also think she and martin should've switched #places. sorry martinlikers but she had more stuff going for her and also her perspective would be unique and interesting instead of yet #another 'the Eye is Bad.' that's actually the jonsasha thing I like the most. reading her statement and there's so many parallels between #her and jon. I think they'd compliment each other in a way literally no other jonship could manage #anyway sorting tags #jonsasha #asks #thank you for the ask btw!! I am. VERY. passionate about this subject. sasha has so much potential and stuff going for her but I get so #bitter because nobody is willing to engage with the stuff I find most interesting about her. probably another reason it took me as long as #it did to get Attached to her. I spent too much time with fanon sasha who's had the potential and complexity and points of interest #stripped away so that she can fix the world for jm to get together which is so much more boring than whatever the hell was wrong with her #(affectionate) (I like my characters a lil weird and fucked up. a lot weird and fucked up even) #ok veryvery tired need to stop rambling and think about sasha some more. #oh wait one more thought actually she's autistic and trans (projecting but also. like. tell me i'm wrong) thank you and goodnight

[thecherrygod]

/

#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man. #like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread? #and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man. #so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao