#I also like people who can cook | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sas-afras · 1 month

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i kinda don’t get people who characterize maccready as like… secretly generous, or having a heart of gold or anything. like don’t get me wrong i don’t think he’s downright malicious or anything, but the dude is absolutely a selfish jerk once you get past the charming facade. that’s the part that’s compelling!

like, he’s nice enough and open enough with the player once you get high enough affinity with him, but his reactions to player actions still point to him being a jerk overall. the sosu just happens to be in His Circle of people he can be vulnerable with. that includes you, his son, and maybe daisy. everyone else can kick rocks, the same way it was in little lamplight

he HAD to grow up with that kind of “us vs the world, every man for himself” mentality in the capitol wasteland. doing so otherwise gets you killed or taken advantage of, which is just protracted death anyways. having grown up in a place where slavers run rampant, people are all pushing each other further down just to boost themselves up and live one more day, and it’s literally impossible to make renewable food sources because the ground is so poisoned i genuinely don’t blame him for ending up a little tight fisted. the fact that he was the mayor of little lamplight just meant that he ended up being able to accept a few people as His To Protect instead of being a total lone wolf.

the way he reacts to the players open generosity isn’t just for show, he Actually Dislikes when you give stuff away without expecting anything in return. you might need that thing and now its just gone!! that person might see you as a sucker! you give an inch and they’ll take a mile! and it makes sense for his character to be like that considering everything. i don’t get why people want to change that into him just being kind of tsundere.

i understand that having your babygirl blorbo comfort character be a canonical asshole in ways that aren’t just kinda charming can be offputting, but like…. the way he treats the sosu is a very notable exception to the rest of his life & it’s a much more interesting dynamic imo. especially if you’re playing a goody two shoes martyr. but that’s just me

#robert joseph maccready #i also have come to the realization that him disliking when you give austin the cure in v88 is in character #he doesn’t know shit about how medicine works #he just sees some magical cure being used on a random sheltered vault kid who got himself into this mess anyways #meanwhile *his son* is suffering #i also think his disdain towards being generous is because of the ‘if i can’t have it no one can’ mentality #similar to how astarion acts in bg3 #maccready didn’t have any help as a kid. he went through it all by himself. he had to suffer alone #seeing someone get treated with kindness after spending his whole life getting beat down #to the point where he just convinced himself that good people were made up entirely #it’s like a slap to the face #‘you mean this existed the whole time? people like YOU have been out here the whole time? and i was just unlucky?’ etc #idk i took two benadryls and now im cooking #not art

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lastoneout · 1 year

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this is my entire stance on the "american food is bad" discourse summed up

#there are two distinct times when american food is bad #when it's people who are well off or rich enough that all they care about is appearances and how expensive the ingredients are #bcs they don't care about taste anymore it's a status thing #and also when it's stupid gentrified gimmick restaurants basically following the Cesare from Big Top Burger formula #where it doesn't matter how it tastes #it's just about it looking cool or having a gimmick so influences will come take pictures and give you tons of free advertising #that's when american food is bad #bcs rip to y'all but I grew up dirt fucking poor around other dirt fucking poor people of all races and backgrounds #and we COULD cook y'all under the table with these things #when all you have for food is hamburger helper and canned soup well damn you learn how to make it taste good #also those two bad times are NOT unique to america AT ALL #remember the Australian fish and chips that had activated charcoal and looked like actual shit?#this ain't an american problem this is a fucking rich people problem send tweet #this is also why I can't watch chopped anymore #the way they talk about ingredients like those like they're worthless and they can't believe people would eat them #like cool glad you grew up well off enough to afford real people food #the rest of us had to learn to make velveeta taste good and you know what #I could cook your ass under the table with velveeta and all those other 'cheap' ingredients you're mocking

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Got any Farah, Valeria, & Laswell hcs? Anything, really- I'm dying for my girls 🤲🤲🤲

Hello! Yeah, I was able to come up with a few! I already wrote a few for Valeria here! Somehow, I forgot to put them in my masterlist, though, which I have since fixed! Thank you for making me aware of this, though :-) These are general Headcanons, though, since I had an easier time coming up with those and because you didn't specify, I hope that's okay!

Valeria, Farah and Laswell HCs

Valeria: She’s always had quite the temper, even when she was young. While she may not have been spoiled to hell and back as a child, she usually got what she wanted, as long as it wasn’t something extraordinarily big, her parents always took care of her like that. Valeria loved her mother, they got along very well with each other, and she also took after her, having inherited her personality for the most part. Her father was a bit calmer than the two of them, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get along either. Whereas her mother would encourage her to do most things, her father would try to talk sense into her if it was a bad idea. She often sulked because of it, which is why she didn’t like her father as much as her mother, but as she got older she realized he meant well. Sometimes she still thinks about his advice, but the both of them died a long time ago, so most things they’ve told her are a distant memory by now. Valeria may be successful with what she’s doing and doesn’t like being told what to do, but sometimes she does wish she could still eat some sweets with her parents like she used to.

Joining the military actually wasn’t her first choice of career. She tried many places, but no one would take her, so she opted for the military, which welcomed her with open arms. She got paid. Not well, but she received the money, which was important since her parents couldn’t leave her with too much. They didn’t have very much either, so there wasn’t much to be inherited. Because she’s a woman, a few creeps tried to harass her, but she had none of it and beat all three of them up herself and on her own. Ever since that incident she wasn’t a big fan of the military either, but no other place would take her. However, it showed just how capable she was and earned her a lot of respect. A few other men would try to make advances towards her, but she shot them down every time. However, whenever another female soldier would jokingly flirt with her, that’s when she’d give it her all, making it her goal to fluster her beyond all hell. She’s spent a few evenings and nights with a few female soldiers, but was always willing to rip a male soldier’s dick off if he was being too friendly with her. During her time as a soldier she also realized that she preferred women.

She didn’t always hate Alejandro, actually. Back in the day, they got along very well. He was a man, yes, but he had enough respect for her. It wasn’t a given, even if it should have been, but she appreciated it. Whenever they sparred he gave it his all as well and never looked down on her. In his eyes, the two of them were equals and it showed. Valeria could appreciate that. She liked him, she spent a night with him but realized she hated that sort of stuff with men. He was the final realization for her that Valeria does not like men. It didn’t make her hate him at first, though. Only when he insisted on the two of them being a thing did she develop some form of disdain for him. Once she told him that she could never feel the same way, he stopped. However, he also started treating her a bit differently since he was in love with her. As he rose in ranks, he was a bit harsher on her than the other soldiers, usually dissatisfied with anything she did. He didn’t even notice that, but Valeria did. Therefore he became just another scum to her.

Farah: Before her town got attacked, she actually had a pretty happy childhood. She was sweet and kind as a kid, she got along well with her parents and her brother and she had a few close friends. Farah loved going outside to play, sometimes even inviting her parents to make potions with her in a bucket filled with water, sand and rocks. Her parents were always afraid of the Russians invading and tried to keep their children safe regardless of what happened, but in the end they were unable to. It hit Farah pretty hard, she loved her parents. Even now she misses them dearly since they always took such good care of her and her brother. At least she still had her brother. Farah knew she was the younger one out of the two of them, so she likely should have been the one to be protected, but once her town got attacked she became determined to make sure her brother would stay with her. Drastic times called for drastic measures, so she actually has killed people just so her brother could stay alive. It was around that time that other people realized how she was a very caring person still and could be trusted. Slowly, through that realization, she was able to gather a small force that could help her.

Farah is a pretty good leader. The people she works with adore her because, under that rough exterior, she’s still a good person. All her brothers and sisters know she can be trusted with just about anything. She rarely ever says no upon hearing a request of one of her people, knowing fully well what it’s like to need something. As she’s been through a lot herself, she always has an open ear for her brothers and sisters. While there’s not always time to listen to everyone’s concerns, if she does have time she’ll listen to you intently. Farah knows a lot more about her people than she lets on, that ranges from how the latest battle has gone to how her sister’s family is doing. She’s never one to turn down someone in need, always offering food and shelter. I know she may seem stern, because she has to be in order to be a good leader, but deep down she’s still the same kind girl that she’s always been. Her people would give up just about anything for her, and they do. One day, Farah dreams, Urzikstan will be free, it will be safe and it will prosper, its people won’t have anything to fear anymore. Trade will continue, the people will be happy and she can finally lay down her weary head and rest for a bit. But until then, she swore she’ll fight and fight until everything is finally over.

She’s never actually been in love. When she had the chance to develop a crush she was too young. Now that she’s older she doesn’t have time for anything lovey dovey in the slightest. Alex was the first person she ever developed a crush on. He may have seemed like an enemy at first, but it quickly enough became evident that that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was a good man, someone who could be trusted no matter what. He was loyal to a fault as well, which Farah could appreciate. However, she never told him, swallowing her feelings down instead no matter how intense they became. Yet, she sort of did always look forward to his small gestures of affection. Alex is a physically affectionate guy, so he’d sometimes pat her shoulder, put a hand on her shoulder or gently bump her arm to show he liked her. Farah is severely touch starved, so it made for a good combination. One time, he asked if she would like a hug, to which she said yes. To this day, Farah thinks about that hug since it was the first one she had received in seven or eight years. It may not have seemed like she was swayed at the time, but she was very content afterwards.

Laswell: Laswell’s parents didn’t really care too much for her. Don’t get me wrong, they provided for her physical needs, but they barely looked after her in any other regard, thinking she was happy because she had everything she could ever need. Laswell may have been strong because of it, even then, but she did wish her parents had cared more about other things as well, such as how she was doing emotionally. There were quite a few things that hurt her during her childhood, but she barely had anyone who would support her during her rough times. Her parents only ever wanted to see her happy and content, but barely made any effort to actually keep her as such. Laswell knew fairly early on that she was a lesbian and did come out to her parents, but that’s all that happened. It was never discussed again afterwards, even if her father would sometimes say that she would “find the right guy eventually” while talking to other people. Laswell has called him out on it numerous times, but he always made it about him and how he was the victim for saying something that made his daughter uncomfortable. Laswell didn’t stay in contact with her parents for very long once she moved out.

Even back when she was a child, Laswell knew she wanted to do something more exciting than be a hairdresser, waitress or cook. She wanted to do something with plenty of action, but at the same time she wanted to study and go to university. And thus she combined her wishes and started going to university at first. Afterwards, sometime in her twenties, she started to work for the CIA. She wasn’t treated with very much respect there at first, being a woman working there and all. But she didn’t let that disrespect get her down. In fact, on the outside, she stayed professional, but on the inside she took mental notes on who treated her badly and who didn’t. It soon enough became evident that Laswell knew what she was doing, even if her master’s degree should have been proof enough that there was some intelligence in that noggin of hers. However, soon enough she was transferred. In fact, she was transferred many times before she became a station chief, but it only showed just how competent she was in her field. Laswell has since saved thousands of lives and is proud of it. To her, such a thing is her calling and she wants to continue doing so for as long as she can, all the dangers be damned.

Laswell adores her wife. In fact, “Laswell” isn’t her original last name, she took that of her wife. At first they played with the idea of combining their names, but Laswell wanted fairly little to do with her parents at that point. Plus she wanted to show her father that she never “found the right guy”. So her being named Laswell is purely out of spite. While she may not be at home all the time, or very often, for that matter, she makes sure to bring her wife a gift every time she comes home. It can be something small, such as a souvenir she found while she was abroad, or it could be something along the lines of a golden ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere. She needs to pamper her wife like that and make sure she knows Laswell loves her to the moon and back. Money isn’t an issue for her, she gets paid very well. Even if the biggest reward for her doing what she does is seeing her wife smile. Every time she sees her give her a big smile she’s reminded of why she does what she does, and that’s the most wonderful thing for her. Even so, not many people know about Laswell’s wife, only a select few do. It’s a safety measure since she knows people will target her. Although she’s a diplomatic kind of person, if anyone ever were to hurt her wife, then that person can be certain they’ll never walk freely among the sunlight again.

#cod #valeria garza #farah karim #kate laswell #if it was up to me I'd make Valeria and Laswell lesbians. and so I did because this is my blog #and because I wanna kiss them and cook them a nice and healthy meal that reminds them of me! I can't cook to save my life but I'll learn ho #Farah is into Alex so she isn't a lesbian in my book!#“a gay person's straight ship is the most powerful thing in the universe”#you can't tell me Alex wouldn't treat Farah right though! she deserves a guy like him who's hopelessly in love with her #sometimes I think about a poly relationship with the two of them because I love both of these characters dearly #just think about it: being hugged by two strong people at once! what's not to love about this concept?#cooking them a meal and receiving a kiss from the both of them oh god please someone wife me up already #Alex would get all three of you something cute and matching! like plushies!#he'd get a nice dog plushie. Farah gets a cat plushie. you get a plushie of an animal that reminds you of him that's still cute!#like a small bunny or a small birdie!#and just so you know both of them are good at hugging! they're both really strong and good at making you feel protected!#man I love Farah and Alex! they're such good characters! Alex was the first character I truly liked when watching MW1 #I was so sad to see he wasn't in mw2 but!!! he's in MW3!!! My boy is back in business!#can I also just mention that you can play as Farah in MW3? isn't that also just so cool? again I squealed!#I squealed every time at the cafe I stayed at when I saw you could play as one of the girls! good thinking activision!

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nondescriptloin · 1 month

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Because I am a big fan of tender Hannibal but do also believe that his manipulation and medical malpractice in regards to Will is something that is important went looking at their relationship, here’s what I (at 11:12 pm) think Hannibal was thinking throughout the show (yes I left off the end of S3, I’m very tired.)

- Hannibal meets Will and is OBSESSED

- Realises Will is way too bitchy and into the whole crime fighting/solving thing to accept him for who he truly is

- Sees Will’s potential and decides the only reasonable thing to do is to manipulate him and let him almost die from encephalitis

- Falls even harder when Will tries to have him killed, would do anything for that man

- Will won’t elope with him so he gets gently spritzed with a water bottle (stabbed and his pseudo daughter killed in front of him)

- Broods in Florence for a while

- Sees Will and instantly decides he will once again do anything for that man because he has absolutely got separation anxiety and if Will won’t play ball then Hanni will just have to get arrested so Will knows exactly where he is when he’s ready (willing to elope with him)

#I also think it is perfectly acceptable to look at how Will may or may not have been repressing parts of his identity #especially in season one #and I also think it’s perfectly fine #to project onto characters #because they’re characters #and #like #not real people #it’s okay to see a character you identify with and project onto them #idk dude I just feel like the crimes and cannibalism fandom has got kinda gatekeepy and overly hostile lately #let’s just let people engage with media the way they want to #you can say that you don’t understand something #or prefer something else #without booing everyone who thinks/does something #not saying that pointing out harmful stereotypes is bad #but like #a lot of this is just dumb shit or differences in interpretation #of the weird kalidescope gay cannibalism cooking show #hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #hannigram

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taegularities · 7 months

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some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

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the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis · 11 months

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what can Bella Swan actually cook?

armed with LegalTM pdfs, control f, and my theory that Bella doesn't actually like cooking she was just written by a mormon housewife, I have determined every specifically named meal Bella cooks in the Twilight Saga!

In summary:

15 total named meals (7 in Twilight, 3 each in New Moon/Eclipse, and 2 in Breaking Dawn)

13 unique meals (lasagna & fried chicken repeat across books)

Presumably she's also cooking literally every other day (when they aren't ordering pizza, which is apparently the only takeout Charlie ever gets), but it's not relevant to her narrative.

my main conclusion is that she eats way too much cereal, but for the purposes of this i've decided that cereal doesn't count as cooking.

Bella Swan canonically knows how to cook:

Twilight:

Steak and potatoes, plus salad (pg 15)

White people enchiladas (p.36)

Fish (marinated), with “salad and bread left over from the night before” (p.68)

Cold-cut sandwiches (p.70)

Grilled cheese (with tomato) (p.111)

Lasagna (p.118)

Fish, using Harry Clearwater’s fish fry (p.169)

New Moon:

Fried chicken (p.70)

Lasagna (p.82)

Casserole (p.197)

Eclipse:

Spaghetti, (rescued from Charlie)

Grandma Swan’s stroganoff recipe (p.29)

Hamburger (p.43)

Breaking Dawn:

Sunny-side up eggs (p.75)

Damn rancid chicken Fried chicken (p.80)

#my meta #bella swan #so i guess she can cook but uh...#this is. very boring. lmao #at one point she says that renee likes to 'experiment' and sometimes it's inedible...#DO YOU MEAN RENEE MAKES FOOD WITH FLAVOR #BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THAT JUST MEANS RENEE MAKES FOOD WITH FLAVOR.#sorry not to be a renee apologist in the tags #but also this specific search made me SO MAD at charlie so #eclipse is really the worst book. character assassination for EVERYONE #also oh my god she eats so much cereal #you guys? you guys #are there people out there who eat that much cereal???#that can't be good for you!!!#she eats cereal every day!!!#except for the first when charlie makes her bacon and eggs and she asks to take over the cooking #bella!!!#i think she must not like eggs #(ignoring how many she eats in breaking dawn shh it's fine)#page numbers are all from my pdfs but hopefully they at least kinda map onto the actual books

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mejomonster · 9 months

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On a serious note, I do feel mysterious case lotusbook has a lot of sincere themes about getting older, realities of responsibility and dreams realized, how it's difficult to succeed and not always the direct path one expects, how there's value in little aspects of life. Almost every li lianhua scene seems to be about that to some degree. The murder cases aren't particularly deep as far as super complicated to figure out or Able to be predicted super well (since they don't always give all the details in the initial setup), but the themes about who was killed and why do connect to li lianhuas situation.

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #by all this i mean: a lot of the positive things li lianhua AND di feisheng say are fairly good advice tbh #like a fei? hes like you need to be fair in your decisions for your actions to be worthwhile and earned #li lianhua: sometimes being the one taking all responsibility was bad for you and the people you led who felt burdened #by You taking the burden. and stepping back can be a respectable choice.#cooking is more difficult than fighting. keeping yourself alive is Hard and its the hardest thing we do #and its admirable even when youll never be a hero never be able to achieve what those around you might #your peers are worthwhile if they choose diffetently than you (qian wanmian isnt lesser for not choosing to lead a sect and instrad #dissolving it. di feisheng doesnt think li lianhua is no longef worth his time even though hes weaker now. li lianhua is still someonr he #wants to see alive see brlieve in himself see passionate about things. the monks think its never too late to #reconnect to people again. that people who love you will want you and accept you even when you fail.#even fang duobing by knowing li lianhua gets the experience of someone who wants him alive #and fondly smiles and Is proud of him. evrn if hes learning and fails and moody #fond of him in a way his family wasnt that strangers lied about due to his status #in a way that he clung to li xianyi for ALSO seeing value in him when he felt he didnt live up to expectstions of the world #its the Kindness of little moments of acceptance. of being kind to yourself and kind to others (even down to #not wantjng to kill suspects but take them to trial. not wanting scapegoats blamed. which arent usually done in wuxia)#its the fact this show is quite about gentleness and healing (i see the Love and Redemption screen writing ismilarities)#rather than about power struggles. do you know what i mean?

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svtskneecaps · 7 months

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qsmp ghost investigator au dump

here is everything i spitballed into my sibling's texts. apparently their discord was "thriving on it". i'll divide this into categories and attempt to format it as reader friendly as possible. god almighty i hope the keep reading below this paragraph works

CHARACTER HEADCANONS:

there's a main investigative squad formed by roier, cellbit, fic, pac, and tubbo

roier is in charge of their social media accounts

mike is their former college roommate who they constantly bring up and declare has died, except every time he comes up the way he died was different. he's actually a really successful movie producer (or something) so one time they do a live stream for a milestone celebration and in the last ten seconds mike comes flying out of the left side with ghost stage makeup and tackles pac off the side of the screen and they never address this publicly. any time someone asks what happened to pac they answer "who's pac" including pac

cellbit gets extremely disappointed when the perp isn't supernatural

roier is thrilled when the perp isn't supernatural because the peter parker in him loves taking the piss on a billionaire publicly

fit has photographic memory (à la canon screenshots)

pac is extremely good at breaking and entering

cellbit is an old fashioned polaroid kind of guy bc digital cameras don't capture ghost evidence as clearly

roier swears by digital photos bc he likes photoshop (he carries rolls of film with him in case cellbit runs out)

fit has an auto shop. tubbo and ramón work in this auto shop. this is a headache for everyone involved but at least the auto shop was already a thin disguise for experimenting with homemade pyrotechnics so things exploding isn't a big deal

whenever the team has to do a distraction, the only two options are 1) manipulation 2) explosion

when they get caught in a bad spot, pac plays on sympathy, roier plays dumb, tubbo plays along, cellbit pretends to belong, and fit uno reverses

they commissioned jaiden for their logo. she also beta reads the scripts

richarlyson works for mike. sometimes he joins the investigation crew as a cameraman on loan. fans have learned to recognize when richas is behind the camera because the camera doesn't shake when the monster of the week appears because homeboy does not fear death. cellbit knows mike will end his bloodline if anything happens to richas (and would probably end his OWN bloodline) so he tends to be double stressed when richas is behind the camera

the team has a house, courtesy of mike, because god knows a ghost hunter's salary probably can't pay for one

bagi belongs to a "rival" investigation group. she and cellbit talk MAD shit every time they're in the same room. they are also both incredibly fucking smart and often end up working together to crack the tough cases while continuing to smack talk each other

bad is also in the rival investigative group. he is very clearly a demon. this is never commented on.

skeppy is a ghost except bad is the only one who can see him. anyone who calls skeppy imaginary is shouted down by bagi. bagi also believes skeppy is imaginary

tina is the safety net / brawn for bagi's team. she trains in hand to ghost hand combat with etoiles because she is Not Human and can punch ghosts. bagi does not know this and she just thinks tina's super cool and super talented and super badass. tina definitely thinks bagi has realized she is Not Human but they haven't like had a conversation about it but bagi's super smart sooooo

dapper is the "guy in the chair" for the rival investigation team. bad tends to ask a question into a radio (or seemingly to thin air) and immediately get the answer via text. sometimes cellbit will wonder something aloud about various ghost types or signs ("they heard scratching in the attic, so that could be caused by--") and almost immediately get cut off by bad's text tone as bad reads aloud dapper listing off three paranormal options as well as potential structural problems and rodents having an extremely fun night, at which point bad cuts himself off with "LANGUAGE" or "OUT OF POCKET"

the main team thinks dapper is just short until they realize that no, dapper is actually like 14. bad's like WHY DO YOU THINK THEY STAY IN THE VAN???

baghera makes and posts music and consults for bagi's team. cellbit is scared of her and also desperately wishes he could poach her for his own team but she only answers jaiden's calls

pomme has a ghost gun. it was a gift from etoiles. she accidentally took foolish's head off with it one time. his head grew back and that was how they learned he was Not Made of Meat. this was not particularly surprising, because bad is still her part time dad. it still scared the crap out of pomme the first time it happened because the ghost gun SHOULD only work on ghosts but foolish is in a weird enough state of undead that he qualified.

foolish was thrilled to have a spare head, hence "the first time"

vegetta is a famous architect. he calls foolish to ask which paranormal team he should consult on whether a property is haunted, because vegetta trusts his partner of unspecific relationship's judgement, considering foolish is Not Human. foolish's answer usually depends on how spiteful he feels towards tina and bad at the time of the call

bonus, i really want maximus involved in one team or the other but since he hasn't interacted with bagi yet i can't decide his role or anything concrete. but just know that's in my brain.

EPISODES (in no particular order:

foolish summons bad during a sleepover with tina and then thinks it'll be funny to summon paranormal investigators (bad also thinks it's funny). they decide to play a game of "can the investigators figure out who's the immortal". it is revealed to the audience in the end of the ""episode"" once all the investigators have left that all three of them are immortal. bad and foolish devolve into yet another argument over which one of them won based on a win condition they somehow came up with and agreed on without ever consulting each other. tina was actually the winner. roll credits.

quackity owns a casino. he hires the team to look into some demonic activity his patrons have been reporting. he spends the entire investigation and episode demanding they find the demon and exorcise the demon and generally shittalking the demon. they spend the entire episode questioning more and more how quackity's casino stays in business as everything they learn about it and him does not inspire confidence. it is revealed that ironmouse is the demon and is also singlehandedly keeping the casino in business because she fucking loves gambling. quackity immediately changes his tune.

antoine calls the team because he's KINDA worried by the latitude and longitude he keeps finding on the walls at the company he works at, written in what looks suspiciously like blood. unbeknownst to them, bagi's team was ALSO contacted, by baghera. they eventually discover the recipient of the messages is etoiles. after an incident at his previous employment he is half ghost and can now fight ghosts. the messages were from an entity that attacks things when it gets bored and it may as well fight etoiles because etoiles is the only one who has beat it so far. they meet in various back alleys and restaurant parking lots to go at it and get drinks afterward. the entity has no idea how to speak any modern languages but Fighting is Universal.

pierre is a wine baron and claims there's a unicorn who watches over his family's vineyard. it's been part of the brand since inception and it's taken mostly as propaganda and old legend until people start actually catching glimpses of a unicorn around the vineyard and the rumor starts to spread until roier "investigative journalist and old money hater" drags the team to go on a tour of the production line in hopes of blowing the case wide open. fit, pac, and tubbo are in charge of distractions while cellbit and roier sneak away to explore the vineyard and track the unicorn.

the unicorn is pierre. roier ends up finding this hilarious and while his journalistic spirit cannot allow him to NOT expose that the unicorn is fake, he ends up calling it "a white horse with a taped-on horn" instead of the face of the company in a fursuit. pierre sends the team wine periodically as thanks and also because roier still has a picture of him in a unicorn costume in the woods.

fit and pac do a wine tasting together.

wilbur contacts them because ghost slime has taken up residence in the guest bathroom and while his daughter insists slime is part of the family, phil is coming with his son (chayanne) to stay with them for a festival or something and wilbur doesn't feel like getting roasted by the middle schooler who is his brother because the bathroom smells like algae and wet dog so he needs the team to babysit slime until phil leaves town. slime spends the entire time going through windows and walls with no warning and scaring the piss out of everyone. one time he was in the cabinet when cellbit was going in to make his midnight coffee and his scream sent everyone in the house into emergency mode. roier would have FULLY put slime through the wall if slime were corporeal. lucky for slime, and their wall, slime is not.

jaiden works at an escape room and her boss reaches out to the team because he is FED UP with some paranormal entity that keeps drawing on walls and moving shit around and throwing things and tripping him and he wants it GONE. jaiden is extremely fond of bobby and bobby is extremely fond of HER, so she reaches out to the team and asks them to NOT do that and just pretend or something. so the team goes in and pretends to investigate and stuff. roier and bobby feud in the background. by the end of the episode they're besties.

the episode concludes, shockingly, with the boss and bobby gaining grudging respect for each other. somehow. the boss threatens to reveal bobby's existence to the internet at large as a publicity stunt every time bobby trips him in the hallway but never actually does. bobby stops throwing things at him (as much). the themeing of the rooms shift so the drawings and moving objects fit in. the boss is mariana.

from this episode on bobby periodically appears in the team's house, because it's my au and i make the ghost rules

END OF SEASON:

the end season villain is a guy who ran the biggest corporation in the world who died under mysterious circumstances. the corporation has a duck mascot for no reason in particular hahahaha. they're a company like nesquick or aquafina or amazon or something yknow REAL assholes.

the team is contracted by the billionaire's nephew (forever) who took over the business when he died and is extremely overwhelmed by 1) running a business on this scale and 2) all the paranormal bs happening in his office (which is where the former CEO died). he also happens to be cellbit's ex. this is highly awkward.

because i hate billionaires but like forever, let's say forever was contacted by the villain solely because the CEO does NOT want any of his immediate underlings to get the company and thus only reveals his blood relation to forever IN HIS WILL. except forever is A Good Dude and is trying to grasp the full scope of the company's corruption and dismantle the shitty practices while still keeping the employees paid, despite his only business experience being his current position of running a boardwalk/beach. this ends up being the cause of the paranormal activity: the CEO is panicking now that forever is trying to 'ruin his company'.

the episode ends with the CEO briefly succeeding in possessing forever, and the combined forces of the ghost teams bring him back and send the CEO to hell.

somehow the billionaire is involved in or mentioned during previous episodes.

#qsmp #qsmp au #qsmp paranormal investigators au #shut up vic #block game brainrot #do i tag every person who appears in this #i'll tag within reason #qsmp cellbit #qsmp roier #qsmp fit #qsmp pac #qsmp bagi #i think those are the people whose names i mentioned the most #i can think of a couple people who i'd want to spotlight in an episode (antoine) but i can't think of anything concrete in terms of plot lo #i'm setting this au free go wild #like i said earlier i can cook but i can't plate the meal #this will not be made a full length fic by my hand you must be the change you want to see #(please i ask you put my user in a note somewhere if you directly use the concepts here lol and also give me a link to it i want it gimme)#god i hope the formatting is legible i can't really send this to be beta read

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