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#I TOLD YOU THE PLAN WOULD WORK BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK YOUD MESS UP
tastyykpop · 3 years
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hii! can i request a jeno very angsty scenario where its his s/o and his anniversary but he forgets abt it bc the dreamies wanted to go to an amusement park and then the managers took his phone so when he comes home his s/o and him get into a fight and they dont talk to each other but she always goes their dance practices since his s/o is so used to taking care of him and he gets sad bc his s/o doesn't look at him at all and he's tired because since he's so stressed with the cbs he just wants love but he knows he's wrong and they make up and stuff:) I'm sorry if this is long! you dont have to do it if you dont want to:)<3
a/n: jdjsjsjsj thanks for this beefy request it was fun to write :)
[sᴀʟᴛʏ]
𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥,ƒℓυƒƒ
Sitting on your bed, you wondered when your boyfriend was coming home. After texting him where he was and wondering when he'd come pick you up to celebrate your guy's anniversary, youd started losing hope seeing as he never answered or bothered reading them. You knew jeno to always answer after just one second but it was like he was ignoring you.
Furious and heartbroken, you threw your phone on at the other side of the bed and decided to just take off the dress you were going to surprise him in. It was his favorite color too. A deep shade of blue silk, comfortable and cute yet still appropriate enough to wear at the fancy restaurant you guys were planning on going to. But those plans were thrown out the window quickly once you noticed how late it was.
"Why do men?" your eyes rolled as you moved in your bed, trying to get comfy.
"Why do men what?" You shot up in the bed from the sound of jenos voice as it basically frightened you back to reality. He was so quiet, you didn't even hear him walk through the door.
"Its about time you showed up." Jeno raised an eyebrow at your sudden aggression, not knowing why you were suddenly angry at him. He thought you'd be excited to see him.
"Woah why are you getting mad at me?" He questioned as he started changing out of his work clothes and into his pajamas.
You grit your teeth. How could he forget this special day that only comes once a year? "Did you forget what day it is?"
Jeno cocked his head to the side, "Um...Tuesday?" He really was clueless on where you were going with this, but your face made him realize he was missing something.
"Jeno..." your head fell into your hands, your boyfriend sat next to you in the bed, still wondering what he was missing and why it was on the tip of his tongue, "Our anniversary, you missed our damn anniversary."
The boys eyes bugged, he knew he missed something and the whole day he couldn't figure it out. He had been so stressed with the recent comeback and the upcoming one that even something as simple as an anniversary date slipped his mind.
God, he felt so bad just thinking how excited you probably were today to go out with him and enjoy your guy's day together, but because of him, your day was long gone and passed up.
"No wait, that was today!? Babe I'm so sorry, I was with the dreamies at the amusement park and I didn't have my phone with me because my manager took it and-" jeno stopped mid sentence before noticing he still didn't have his phone and forgot to get it back from his manager. He messed up bad today.
"You could've told me beforehand you were doing something with dream, although I still wouldn't have appreciated you missing our anniversary, but at least you wouldve told me where you went." You showed your annoyance by rolling over in bed, ignoring jeno.
Jeno growled at his sudden frustration, he already apologized and explained himself why are you still mad? "You know what? At least I told you what the hell I was doing and why I couldn't respond. Yeah I missed the anniversary, but you know what? Its just the fucking time of year we started dating, the day will come again."
"So what you're telling me is you don't care about the day we started dating? Whatever I'm not in the mood to argue right now." You never turned to look at jeno once you finished talking, needless to say you didn't care what he was going to reply with. It wasnt like he cared anyway.
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The bass of the music boomed in the practice room. Everyone was so tired these past few days and were anxious for the upcoming comeback that all they wanted to do was relax for once and take a break.
Jeno especially.
After the little argument you both had last night, he couldnt get that out of his head. There were no words spoken to him this morning and you didn't even spare him a glance. His heart broke for sure and he didnt know what to do because he knew he messed up bad. Saying those words to you and knowing how much it meant to you, was something he wish he could take back and start over.
Walking through the practice door, you took a seat on the floor where you rested your head against the wall with bags of food for the members. They were doing so well preparing for their comeback you wanted to congratulate them for working so hard. Plus, you wanted to make sure jeno had eaten today.
"Is that food for us!?" Chenle came barging towards you, giving you a strong squeeze as you laughed into his shoulder.
"Yeah I got food for everyone to congratulate you guys for working so hard." You smiled and handed the bags of food to chenle who looked about ready to take it for himself and eat it.
"Thanks so much y/n! You're the best!" He hopped away happily with the food. Jeno stared between the food and you. He loved how you took care of everyone and still came to their practice though you both weren't on best of terms at the moment, but you weren't even looking at him or acknowledging his presence again, only returning your attention to your phone.
Jaemin wrapped an arm around jenos shoulders as he was eating a chicken wing and looked at the you as well, "Whats up with the both of you all of a sudden? Normally you guys are being so disgustingly cute that I have to walk away for a solid 5 minutes." Jaemin sighed.
"I-its nothing. We just-"
"What is it?"
Jeno shook his head and put on the best smile he could muster while patting jaemins back, "its really nothing jaemin." He said and walked over to the food.
You on the other hand felt bad for causing jeno to be this way. He was silent and didn't really interact with the members when they were eating and goofing around. Not even haechan or mark could crack him. You sighed, putting your phone down and leaned your head against the wall. The only way for all this tension between the two of you would be to settle this and forgive one another. It shouldn't be that hard.
"Jeno," you called, startling your boyfriend who perked up with full cheeks, "come here please."
The dreamies silently watched jeno amble towards you, too invested in what was going to happen to continue talking. You didn't seem to care though, just wanting to get it over with and talk with jeno.
You still stared at the ground avoiding eye contact with jeno, but he couldnt take it. All he wanted was your attention on him.
"Can't you just look at me," he muttered before taking a seat in front of you, "I know I messed up, but please?"
You blinked up at him, "wait...jeno are you tearing up?"
Jeno sniffled back the tears and looked at you with big puppy eyes, your heart sank at the sight. You didn't intend to hurt him, you were just sad and angry about one important thing. And now you think maybe ignoring him had gone too far.
"Please dont cry." You took his hand into yours, softly caressing his knuckles.
"I-im sorry I cant help it. I know I messed up and now you're ignoring me and its just so frustrating because of the comebacks and I'm so used to you taking care of me that I can't even go one day without you loving me." Jeno teared up again. If just a day could hurt him, imagine what would happen if you kept this up.
"You think I dont love you right now?" You asked. Jeno nodded his head slowly, "Babe, of course I love you, I was just mad you forgot or anniversary and went to the amusement park with the dreamies." A sigh fell from your lips before you lifted jenos chin up, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night and argued. I dont expect you to be perfect jeno."
There was a smile on the boys face as he brought a hand behind your head and kissed your cheek, "Im sorry, I really am baby. I promise ill make it up to you." He said.
"I know a really cute restaurant. We can have a cute date later." You smiled and jeno nodded his head happily until you heard a groan come behind him.
"This was so disgusting. I need to walk away now."
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh Part 2
a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)
also warning! angst!
anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!
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the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS
soooooo
this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance
anyways
i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you
so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it
so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked
the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened
he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 
but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up
so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that
they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment
you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you
a first year girl theyve just met
it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess
then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it
‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’
after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 
you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that
during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face
‘y/n, what happened!’
‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’
your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie
‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’
‘haha’
you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around
‘y/n? is the food not good?’
your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile
‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’
you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded
the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be
as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body
you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?
the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade
so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold
kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face
‘y/n! what-!’
he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down
‘what happened to you?!’
he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile
‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’
kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant
and he noticed the way you said that sentence
it was like a robot
like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script
but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen
the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid
kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing
‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’
you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento
‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’
okay what
they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone
this had to be the longest school day of your life
the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds
finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly
‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 
you cringed but nodded
‘im okay, oikawa-san’
‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’
‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’
*cue everyone busting a lung*
‘y/n, what’s the-’
‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’
eventually, everything was fine
you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease
but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks
he was silent, just staring at them
ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily
oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them
‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’
‘y/n’
his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces
‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’
his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone
you shivered and sighed
‘senpai, please dont-’
‘who is it?’
the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice
‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’
‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’
the gym turned silent
you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows
‘hickey? what-’
‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’
lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes
‘i-i,,,,’
you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity
you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 
its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other
so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face
‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’
HELLO WHAT
the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE
how dare someone take their manager!
she was theirs!
and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you
is this really turning into a harem
oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted
every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve
they just cant see their baby manager like that
you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them
‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’
they flinched and saluted at you
lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her
but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it
this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay
however,,,
several days later,,,
this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst
you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back
it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you
it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her
then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office
if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs
great
you were stuck
you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest
‘what is it you want from me, again?’
she smirked
‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’
is she serious?
this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl
you gave her an incredulous look and frowned
‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’
but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall
but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty
surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance
‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’
miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her
then she remembered what you told her
‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’
she was right
even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong
you were stumped
you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition
your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record
but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade
‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’
you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back
lmao flashbacks to the other part
she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground
oh no you were done w this
you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground
some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles
but they were really testing you
the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt
hit her right between her legs
you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you
‘oh my god leave me alone!’
you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 
obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can
‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’
miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob
sorry rebecca
however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position
gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight
they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her
ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her
but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick
great, another bathroom scene
your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks
you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would
this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for
‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’
your scream echoed throughout the entire are
possibly could be heard in new york
and your voice became hoarse
ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing
‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’
‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’
I GOT CHILLS
the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground
miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy
kyotani kentarou
‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’
he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow
‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’
ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!
you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention
again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals
you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this
‘oi, y-you okay?’
you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying
his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up
normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him
he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office
he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends
you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away
‘n-no, don’t leave-’
but he grunted softly before holding your wrist
‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’
lowkey getting bakugou vibes
you nodded and went to close your eyes again
kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 
babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes
and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms
it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds
but he let his curiosity take over him
‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’
he grunted and you scoffed with a smile
‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’
‘cant you fight them back?’
you glared at him
‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’
he sighed
‘maybe you just werent strong enough’
okay listen here you lil shit
you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes
but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions
‘the first time we met. was it her too?’
you flinched in surprise
‘you remembered that?’
‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’
‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’
‘kyotani,,, kentarou’
you smiled
‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’
‘i know’
he mumbled but you didnt catch it
‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’
he hummed
he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you
kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-
once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered
he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down
‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’
you paused then sighed
‘i dont know. ill figure something out’
but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on
after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’
‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’
you just stared at this guy
‘how-’
‘just a guess’
he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension
and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist
‘so what do i do, then?’
‘tell them-’
‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’
‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’
the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash
‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’
kyo was disgusted
all this for that stupid idiot captain?
‘youre dumber than i thought’
you weakly hit him at the arm
‘so mean, kyo-san’
‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’
you glared and linked your fingers together
‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’
‘just tell them, kid. less problems’
then he stood up to leave
‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’
but you were panicking
someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team
and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player
you were so surprised that you stopped breathing
‘kyo-san,,,’ 
you muttered and he glared at you
well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly
‘yo’
oikawa was surprised at this interaction
‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’
you nodded, still looking at the blonde
‘i-uh’
‘its none of your business’
kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief
maybe your secret would be safe
you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut
your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape
ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem
but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him
you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you
this created a soft of protectiveness around you
sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you
and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off
aww hes so cute
ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 
until that one day
it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it
iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise
‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’
oikawa? late?
that was unheard of
you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm
miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair
you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively
‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’
oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl
‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’
at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name
you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him
‘don’t, kyo-san’
‘the bitch-’
‘i know. but please, dont’
you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder
aggressively cares for you
‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’
oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him
you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked
‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’
the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension
kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes
‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’
tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl
‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’
you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it
‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’
but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince
oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl
‘oi! kyotani!’
he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating
iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa
‘kyo-san, calm-’
‘you! be quiet’
he shouted, finger pointing at you
‘and you!’
before pointing to oikawa
‘you are a shitty captain’
‘kyotani!’
iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now
mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED
oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked
‘we’ll talk about this later’
‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’
iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door
she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani
‘kyotani, what the hell was that’
oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle
then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes
‘either you tell him or i will’
can we just talk about how protective kyo is?
you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest
‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’
‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’
‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’
oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up
‘y/n-chan, what is going on’
‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’
coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look
to say the least, miyo was pissed
and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does
she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you
girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!
and thats exactly what she did
only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes
‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’
the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you
they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released
as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side
‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’
you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare
‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’
‘i said-’
but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you
her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip
‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’
‘SHUT UP!’
kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you
his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight
‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’
the boy shrugged from the side 
‘i dont know. shes late though’
oh god
‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’
kunimi paused to remember before answering
‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’
that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere
‘SHIT!’
he shouted before bolting out the door
ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him
‘kyotani!’
‘kyoken-chan?!’
they followed him, who was running as fast as he can
the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building
it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him
‘YOU-!’
he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you
blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form
‘kyo-!’
‘kyotani!’
your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry
the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught
kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you
oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words
all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry
now multiply that by the entire team
‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’
mattsun seethed
‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’
the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist
‘how long’
miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist
‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’
iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last
‘s-s-since l-last month’
you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt
‘please dont’
‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’
oikawa coldly reprimanded
‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’
‘got it, boss’
if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you
your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office
rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls
the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises
‘i told you so’
he mumbled and you scoffed
‘howd you find me anyways?’
‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’
he answered
no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word
eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years
‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’
oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed
you looked down and fiddled with your fingers
‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’
iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath
‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’
you nodded but your tears fell
‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’
‘stop apologizing, y/n’
‘sorry’
‘y/n!’
you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt
‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’
‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’
watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug
‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’
oikawa babie you are so mature like what-
what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own
‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’
‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’
‘iwa-san?’
‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’
silence
‘WHAT?!’
‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’
‘WHAT?!’
‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’
‘WHAT?!’
a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general
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Two Christmas’ (Alec Volturi x Reader)
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You were nervous. You were still working on your relationship with Jane but was disadvantaged since you were romantically involved with Alec. She thought you were taking her brother from her and it especially didn’t go well since you were human. Even Alec himself, had trouble with that sometimes. As of recently things were going well and you didn’t want to ruin that. 
You and Alec made plans for spending some time out of the castle on Christmas day which was tomorrow. Alec wanted Jane to come along since they didn’t like being apart unless they had to. Jane decided to go but they were interrupted by Aro, who offered his opinion. “I don’t believe you should, Jane. Such a day should be spent exclusively with your significant other. I don’t think (Y/N) would appreciate you coming along.” The twins were very disheartened by this so much so that they said nothing else about it. Alec only just telling you. While he was away to meet some nomads on the outskirts of Italy, you saw the opportunity to approach Jane and give her what you had been hiding all along.
You dug into your beside drawer taking out a box about the six of your palm. You’d never be ready so you immediately left, trying not to think too hard on what you were about to do. 
You knocked on the door, hiding the box behind your back and Jane opened it a second later with a skeptical look. “Hi Jane, I was hoping I could talk to you?” “...Very well. Close the door behind you.” Jane turned away and you hurried in, doing as she asked.  “Take a seat.” She gestured to the bed. You complied and she followed suit.  “You’ve been awfully quiet. You’ve been locked away in here for about two days now...are you okay?” “I can assure you, im fine.” She said with a stoic expression. It sounded systematic in how she said it. “Uhm, well, Alec told me-” “What do you have behind your back?” Jane tried to peer behind you but you continued to block her view. “I’ll show you in a second. I just want to talk to you about something first.” You said quickly and she remained quiet. “Alec mentioned that you two were talking about tomorrow.” she hummed in agreement, nodding once.  “He also told me what Aro said.” You didn’t get a response so you continued. “I didn’t think it fair for Aro speak for me. Truth be told, Alec didn’t tell me anything about this until just before he left. So i didn’t know that you coming was even on table but i wanted to tell you in person that I’d be thrilled if you came with us.” Jane seemed taken aback for a second. “But Aro-” “-was wrong, or at least, he wasn’t accurate. Christmas is about spending the time with the people you love and i want to spend it with my family.” “I dont understand.” Jane muttered. “I know you have your judgements about me and i know you think i’m going to snatch your brother and run away but I promise i have no intention. I find it admirable how close you two are, I wouldn’t dream of separating you. It wouldn’t be right if you weren’t there, not just because i know it would dampen Alec’s mood but also because...you’re my sister.”  What really drove it home was you calling Jane your sister. She wouldn’t have believed you otherwise but if you were exceptionally cruel, you wouldn’t have went to such lengths. It made her second guess whether she was really losing her brother or if she was actually gaining someone else. 
“So, um, I got you something, consider it a Christmas present that’s also a peace offering?” You gave her a small smile holding out the black box. “I mean, im not really supposed to give you it until tomorrow and I didn’t get the chance to wrap it or anything but-” You were cut off when Jane gently took the box, looking shocked. “How...when?”  “I have my ways.” You joked lightly. She opened it and stared at it.
Inside was a silver charm bracelet, already including three charms. “I didn’t know what kind of charms you’d like or if you even liked charms so forgive me if you don’t like them.” You scratched behind your neck. One was red with black roses, another glittering gold and the last white and opaque.  “It’s beautiful.” Jane trailed her fingers along it. “Tell me about these...charms.” Jane said quietly.  “Oh well, you can pick your own and have as many as you like. Is your first time seeing them?” Jane nodded. “They look like small pendants.” You smiled. “Do you like it?” You asked and Jane nodded again. “Thank you. I’ve never received a gift for an occasion. Gifts are rare.” “Im glad, i didn’t show Alec to see if you’d like it. I haven’t got him anything or anyone else for that matter." Jane heard something as her head perked up. "Alec's returning. He's coming this way." "Hide that!" You said quickly with excitable glee as Jane quickly put it in her desk drawer and made her way back. 
A minute later, Alec walked through the door. "Im surprised to see you two together." "Yes well-" You spoke up but Jane interrupted you. "We missed you, brother. (Y/N), decided to visit and check on me. It's a sweet gesture, don't you think?" Alec nodded with a soft smile. "I appreciate you looking after my sister whilst I'm gone, cara mia." Alec looked at you before bending down to kiss your forehead. You smiled back at him as he moved to quickly kiss his sister's cheek and sat beside her. Before long he was lying on his back. "Alec, please do not make a mess of my bed." Jane scowled. Alec huffed and Jane lightly shoved his arm. "Jane, you know how to make a bed." "That doesn't mean I enjoy doing it." "We have to do it all the time." Alec muttered and Jane, alarmed, looked to you. "Your brother likes to wrestle. Imagine that, eh? A young guy -however old he is- being fueled with testostero-" Alec rolled over, covering your mouth. "let's go. You've said enough." You groaned. "Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going." Alec hauled you up as you walked back to your shared room. 
He let you go in first, closing the door and wrapping his arms around you from behind. You turned to face him in his arms, wrapping your own around his neck as he smiled at you. “What are you two up to?” Alec’s voice was quiet. “Worried?” You teased. “No, I’m happy to see you both get along but Jane has taken to you rather quickly.” “It’s a start...I gave her a christmas present.” “You did? What did you give her?” Alec seemed surprised. “A charm bracelet, im sure you’ll see it.” “That’s very kind of you cara mia.” “Oh we aren’t done there, my love.” You grinned at him. “Do you remember telling me about your talk with Jane about tomorrow before Aro got involved?” “Of course.” “Well, I told Jane i wouldn’t have it any other way. I insisted that she come with us tomorrow.” “You did?” Alec’s smile vanished, as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You nodded. “Of course I did. She’s your sister. I’m sure she’ll tell you exactly what i sa-” You were interrupted when Alec gave you a kiss before pulling you into a hug.  “Thank you.” You heard him say into your shoulder. 
Christmas day couldn’t have come fast enough. “Now that is a big Christmas tree.” You said gazing up at the huge decorated tree in the town square but also being met with falling snowflakes to the face. You turned to see both Jane and Alec, also looking up at the tree with violet eyes.  “It’s impressive, indeed.” Jane said. All the surrounding stores were shut but the lights on their display windows still on. One particular display window caught your eye. You gasped. “Oh Jane! Come and see this!” You took Jane’s hand and pulled her along, lightly running toward the window. Alec couldn’t help but smile at the sight of seeing the love of his life and his sister, hands interlocked as they rushed ahead. He stayed back admiring the sight before following after you.
You both peered into the window still holding hands. "More charms!" You exclaimed. "Oh, I love that one!" "I like the silver and blue one." Jane smiled. "Where is it?" You looked puzzled unable to locate it. Jane pointed to the charm. It was silver plated and navy blue with a slight shimmer to it, no where near as glittered as Jane's gold charm. "Oh me too!" You nodded profusely. As she lifted her hand to the window, a twinkle caught your eye. There, on her wrist, was the bracelet you got her which you were certain she had been hiding under her sleeve.
Last Christmas had went from uneasy to one of the best. You remembered it well. It didn't take long for Jane to accept you after that. Whilst the twins still preferred to have their own time together. You were included more often and Jane seemed much happier to see you giving you a smile as she would the Masters or Alec.
You bound into the room, Christmas Eve arriving once again. "Why don't you give your love for Christmas!?" You sang out as you enter the room. "Why hello to you too." Demetri turns to look at you with a smile. "So fun fact, I've got you guys presents this year. However...my bestie gets hers before any of you. She's my favourite." You grin handing Jane a small bag. Jane smirks as she opens the small bag to find another three charms, one however was silver and smooth which has her name on it in cursive. The perfect addition.
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pinksvnt · 5 years
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pairing: woozi x reader
genre: fluff
word count: 1,507
sypnosis: an unexpected confession.
-
Your head was pounding. Sound coming from every which way. Everything felt like a daze and you just wanted everything to stop. You wanted the world to stop and give you some time to catch up. It felt like your head was going to explode if you heard just one more scream from Soonyoung. Then, the equivalent of a hurricane happened and you had not only Soonyoung but Seungcheol and Seokmin screaming their heads off.
"I'm too sober for this..."
You massaged the temples of your head and felt the couch move at your side as someone plopped down on it.
"You don't even drink y/n" Jihoon handed you a bottle of water and just softly laughed at how dramatic your we're acting.
"Well.... maybe I should start" You both ended up laughing a bit before being interrupted by what could only be described as a banshee screech.
"I think I just ripped my pants" Everyone turned towards Seokmin and just watched as he slowly turned around and revealed the large tear in his pants.
You were trying hard to keep your laughter to yourself at the sight of Seokmin's strangely cute boxer briefs. Who would've known rilakkuma had boxer briefs. The moment Vernon broke and started laughing at Seokmin so did you and everyone else in the room.
Though he looked fairly embarrassed, even Seokmin himself couldn't help but laugh before running to his room to change in something that wouldn't rip.
You ended up join in on the fun the boys were having and stayed till it got dark. Now beyond worn out you said your goodbyes and started making your way home. Although you were a little afraid of walking by yourself at night, you've done it before so it's not so bad. Before you could even get a block away from the boys apartment building you heard someone running up behind you. Fear made you look back and to your ease it was just Jihoon.
"I'm glad I caught you before you got too far. I was gonna ask if you wanted someone to walk you home but I needed my jacket and you left before I found it. But I'm here now. I'm walking you home" Jihoons face was flushed with a soft pink either due to the cold air or the little run he had to make to catch up. Whatever it was, the way the moonlight was lighting his features he looked cuter than usual.
"Let's go then" you nudge his shoulder and you started walking. Neither of you talked for a few minutes yet it didn't feel awkward. You took glimpses of him every now and then admiring the way he was smiling slightly at the stars in the sky. You wondered what he was thinking because Jihoon is not the type of person where their resting face includes a smile.
In the midst of admiring him, his eyes flickered and he looked at you. It caught you off guard you couldn't help but feel embarrassed by it.
"What is it y/n?" Jihoon smiled at you and you could feel your heart racing. That was the thing about Jihoon. When other people were around you could mess around with him no problem. Your palms wouldn't get sweaty, your heart wouldn't beat faster and you wouldn't stutter on your words. Being alone with him was an entirely different situation. Thankfully you were nearing your apartment and this would all end soon.
"Nothing, but why are you smiling?"
His eyes widened just a bit.
"No reason in particular. I just like walking.... uhm... with you and there's a lot of stars out tonight. It's nice"
Now your heart was pounding even harder. Even though he's not saying something like 'I'm admiring the beauty of the stars, but they're nothing compared to you' he might as well be. Jihoon is not one to say romantic things, cheesy things, especially to you, you we’re just friends after all. Don't get it wrong though. The reason why your heart was pounding so much was because the thought of holding Jihoon's hand made you wanna squeal and get all mushy. He had such a strange effect on you and it's a little overpowering at times.
"O-oh.... I like walking with you too"
Now you both were a flustered mess at this point. The perfect silence between you both has not turned awkward but as you approached your door you sighed in relief.
"Thank you for walking me home Jihoon. To tell you the truth I'm glad you decided to come because I would've been an anxious mess if I had walked alone" you tugged at your sleeve and didn't even make eye contact with him. It felt unbearable and your heart felt like it was going to give out if you just looked at him
"Yeah no problem y/n. I- we just wanted to make sure you got home safe. We didnt think youd stay that late"
There was the awkward silence again. He was a blushing mess and with how hot you felt you knew you were too.
"Ah well alright, get back safely. Good night ji-"
"Y/n I-" Jihoon interrupted you but couldn't even finish what he was going to say. You had your hand on the door knob ready to go inside, while Jihoon tugged gently at your other sleeve.
"Y/n I wanted to tell you that.... I want to always be there for you. I know this is sudden and weird but I tried to push aside what I was feeling but it didnt work. I wanted to look at you and feel nothing. You crept up on me and I can't get the image of you out of my head everytime I'm alone...."
He pulled you just a bit closer. Your hand still on the door. You were confused and shaking now.
"Everything ends up being about you y/n"
He reached for your hand and held it as if he squeezed it a bit more itd break in his.
"Last week, Seungcheol asked me if I liked you or not. I just said what and when he told me he was asking because he wanted to ask you out I felt jealous. I was angry. I didn't understand. He just wanted to know if he should back off or not because he couldn't tell from my actions"
You were speechless and too anxious to move. Jihoon now grabbed your other hand and looked you dead straight in the eyes, even in moonlight his eyes were shining bright.
"I'll just suck it up. Here it is. I like you y/n... hell I think I might even love you. Do you want to go out with me?"
That was it. Was it possible to have your heart stop without actually dying? He was looking at you intensely and maybe you were just imagining it but his eyes looked tearful. As if he was just as anxious as you. He probably was. You could see how shallow he was breathing and feel the gentle tremble in his hands.
"Jihoon i-"
Your mouth was left hung open. You wanted to say yes. You so desperately wanted to say yes and kiss him right then and there but for some reason you felt scared. You had to suck it up though and tell him what you were thinking.
"I really like you too, of course I'll go out with you" You smiled at him and he smiled at you. He held your hands tightly in his and pulled you into a hug. You felt safe with him and now the idea of calling him your boyfriend was making you go crazy.
"You know you could have just sent it in a text Jihoon. Would've been way less nerve racking for both of us" you felt him laugh in between your neck as he pulled away.
"Yeah well, yesterday seungcheol told me if I had realized my feelings yet and told me it was all apart of this plan he made up. He thought you'd like how dramatic this was. Did you?"
You couldn't help but laugh at the idea that seungcheol probably forced jihoon to practice at least once with him.
"I guess so. It's late Jihoon. You should get back. I think Seungcheol’s heart is probably beating faster than mine was. I'm sure he's dying to know what I said"
Jihoon pulled away from you and just looked at you for a second before taking a step back.
"Goodnight y/n. I'll message you in the morning about where we should have our first date. It'll be all my idea, no more seungcheol interefiance"
"Goodnight Jihoon. Get back safely"
You stepped inside your home and threw yourself onto the couch. Lee Jihoon has continually made your heart race by simply smiling at times. Tonight he confessed to you and made you imagine life with him. You couldn't help yourself. You were just so happy because Jihoon, although closed off sometimes; this soft, reserved and talented man chose to openly give you his heart.
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anuknowha · 5 years
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Till Death Do We Part// Chapter 8, Selena’s Window
Yolanda sat there in her cell, marking yet another day on the wall. It's been over 24 years, over 8,760 days from when she was first convicted for her heinous crime. It felt like time would constantly move slow, the clock in her room would tick slowly, second by second passing. The ticks would be loud at some points, and at others, they would die down. Those sounds of the clock would ring through her ears and almost drive her mad. It was too constant, it was as if it were something she couldn’t get away from. Time itself was a constant reminder for her, it made her remember her mistakes. It made her remember when she killed Selena.
Currently, at her place on the floor, she was staring at the bunk bed in front of her that was always dormant. They refused to partner her up with anyone, she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve the company, she was meant to be alone. It pissed her off, she hated it but she knew this was the placed she earned in this world.
A curse left her breath as she was called out of her cell for lunch. She had forgotten what time it was. She looked outside her cell and there was a guard, standing ready with a key to unlock her from her prison so that she could be taken to me the mess hall.
“Come on Saldivar, its lunch time.” the guard beckoned as she grabbed her wrist roughly and led her to the cafeteria.
This was the only time that she was able to see other people, but she wasn’t allowed to communicate with them. She would watch them from a distance, as they would look in her direction and spit in it. And speaking of spit, she has been spit on multiple times by other inmates who even knew she had went to far. It didn’t matter what they did, or how long they were in for, they all hated her, despised her, all except a couple. The few who were supported were marked as “crazy”, they would sit as close to her as they possibly could; winking and smiling at her every time they passed her cell, or even just to get food.
They thought it was brave to the star out, they were always jealous of her fame and fortune.
“What does she have that I don’t have? A pretty face? I had one hell of a face before I was stuck in here, I could’ve been a star.” “She didn’t deserve to be so successful. I’ve seen girls prettier than her and she still got to the top of the charts.” “She ain’t make it look that hard, I bet anyone of us could’ve done this. We could’ve done this.” “Hell yeah we could’ve. Waste of time to think that she was going to actually see the end of her career. Thank goodness we had Yolanda here to stop her.” These were some of the things that had been said about her. They wanted to show their support. In their eyes, she was the most successful person there, she actually achieved something that most couldn’t or even feared to do. And with that they cheered her on, and worshiped her like a god.
It wasn’t always the same set of women, after all she’s been here for 24 years and not everyone was still there. Her first group was out on parole after her 9th year there. Second group was gone about a year or two ago. This third group seemed like they were here to stay, well at least one of them was. She was one of the girls from the last group, and older woman, placed back here because she decided to murder her boyfriend. The first time, she was in here for bank robbery. This woman just didn’t know when to quit, but Yolanda wasn’t surprised. She actually grew quite fond of her. And when her security walked away she would move to their table, admiring her admirers and listening to them talk about her success. She would laugh with them, and enjoy listening to their stories of how they ended up here and what they plan to do when they get out, no matter how violent their decisions were. But when her guard came back she rushed back to her lonesome table, wondering how long it would take before she could talk to her “friends” once again. It was the only thing she enjoyed, and it was the only thing to make her feel powerful.
After she finished her sandwich for today, her guard took her back to the cell that she hated. It was her home, and although it was now only 2 o clock, she was tired. She climbed into the bottom bunk and curled up, grabbing the pillow tightly and sighing into it. To be honest, she regretted everything, being part of the fan club and even meeting Selena in the first place. She wish she never knew about her, and maybe, just maybe she still would’ve been out living her life today.
She continued to think about the thing that landed her in this prison of life, one that she would more than likely spend the rest of her life in. She didn’t expect to be out for parole, even when the time comes, she was expecting everyone to never forgive her. If she got out, everyone would despise her, she won’t be able to get a job, and she’ll be struggling to maintain herself. After all, she was going to be over 60; almost old enough to get her social security and yet she wouldn’t have worked in over 30 years. She was going to be broke, she was never going to regain her life. And with that, she tried to clear her mind.
At dinner, she felt strange, she felt as if something was different, as if someone was watching her. She was slightly paranoid the whole time, watching everyone in the dining hall as they walked past her to their tables. It seemed like no one was paying her mind, and not even her biggest fans were looking in her direction today.
“I think her being in here as made her a little crazy.” one teased as she lifted her index finger to her head and rotated it in a circular motion.
“She’s been in here so long, what do you expect?” another one said.
“Maybe she’s just tired. Sometimes, when I don’t get enough sleep, I start acting a little crazy. You know, a little insane. Sleep is important for us.”
“Yeah, yeah, we know.”
“Should one of us go to check on her?”
“Nah, she’ll be fine by tomorrow.” the oldest woman at the table said as she turned in her direction and made a heart with her hands.
Yolanda just sent here a smile and a nod as she sat down the rest of her food, unable to finish due to the mental discomfort and the feeling of unease that tugged at her stomach. Needless to say, she was ready to head back to her cell.
Later that night, after the guards went home, she was slowly entering a relaxed state. She got comfortable as she laid down and turned towards the wall. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a sleep slumber.
At a quarter to midnight, she woke up, feeling like someone was staring directly at her. She looked outside the cell, and there was no one, the lights outside her small room were all off. The small light in her room was still shining pretty bright.
“H-hello?” she muttered out, only to receive no answer.
“Hello?” she mumbled out once more.
“I see you’ve aged quite a bit, must be the stress. You know, back when I was a singer, there was a lot of stress coming from being famous. But, I guess, being infamous can still put the same amount of weight on you. I wouldn’t know.” a voice came from inside the room.
“Who’s there?!” Yolanda jumped, sitting up in her bed, she looked around only to see nothing.
“You don’t remember me? That kind of makes me sad.”
“Who are you!? Show yourself!”
Selena looked down at her from the top bunk. She gave her a smile of both anger and disgust. “Hola bitch.” she stated.
Yolanda let out a scream, one that no one could hear. She continued to scream, before hopping off the bed and running as quick as she could to the other side of the room. He back pressed against the wall.
“You can’t be here!! You’re dead! I killed you!!”
“That you did, perra. But guess what? Since I was an innocent soul, I ended up exactly where you thought I would. In heaven, somewhere you’d never make it to. You know?” she giggled.
“This can’t be real!”
“You’re right it can’t be. It shouldn’t be, but it is, and here I am, in the flesh. My whole body, live and well with not a single bullet wound.”
“B-but how??” Yolanda swallowed hard.
Selena rolled her eyes.
“I just told you how, I’m in heaven.”
“No, I mean how did you get here?! Back to earth!?”
“That, is something I don’t know, but what I do know, is that I am back and I am well.” Selena said hopping down from the top bunk and basically floating to the floor.
Yolanda was still shivering in fear, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing and it was hard to even comprehend.
“You seemed surprised to see me.”
“Yeah!! Because you’re dead! I killed you!”
“You did. And how many years ago was it again? About 24? It's been a long time, and I bet you don’t even care.” Selena hummed as she took steps closer.
“I-I-”
Selena gets face to face with her murderer and looks her in the eyes.
“You’re not so strong without a weapon, without a gun to protect you huh? I mean look at you, you’re cowering in fear, afraid of what I might do to you. And honestly you should be.”
Yolanda grabbed the closest thing to her and threw it at Selena. It went through her, just like it would a ghost. She swallowed hard, her saliva almost getting caught into her throat.
“Trying to hurt me again? I don’t think you’ll find that as successful as you think. Too bad too, this would be a great time to prove how powerful you are.” Selena paused.
“I despise you for what you did. You killed me in cold blood in jealousy, for what? What did I ever do to you? I gave you a job, a home, and somewhere to be yourself, and how do you repay me? You murder me, right when I was hitting my peak of success, my peak of happiness. And not once did you dare to apologize. Not once did you regret anything that you did. Not once did you bring yourself to ever think about the consequences that you would bring about by taking me out. I lost my friends and family because of you, and they lost me. And it's all your fault.”
“L-look Selena, I didn’t mean to- I was just trying to-”
“Quiet!! I don’t want to hear it. You killed me! You took my life away from me!! I was happy and you just snatched it from me because you were being selfish!!” Selena said, tears forming in her eyes.
She tried not to cry but she couldn’t help it. Ghostly tears fell down her cheeks as she balled her fists in anger.
“I wanted to have kids! I wanted to start a family! I wanted to continue making my mom and dad proud, you don’t understand. I don’t expect you to understand. I really don’t” Selena shook her head and relaxed her hands.
“I’m sorry Selena!! I’m so so so sorry!! Please! Forgive me!! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to end your life like that! I was just being jealous, I just was angry that I might be forgotten or left behind by you by the time that everyone knew me.”
“I wasn’t going to forget you. I’m better than that; I’m better than you, and I always have been.”
“Selena!! I’m sorry!! Please!! Please forgive me!! I didn’t mean it!! I really didn’t mean it!!”
“Yolanda, I can’t. You did it, and you have to own up to it and you know this. I was trying to be there for you, just like I was everyone else. I wanted to make sure you were happy, that you were satisfied with your job. I wanted to see you succeed in life, just like I did, and you didn’t have to be famous to do that. You just needed to be happy, you needed to be content with what I was giving you and I was giving you everything. You had a lot of my attention, my time, and my love. You were in charge of my fans. You were to help me while I helped you. You were to be my best friend when I’m on the road but you didn’t appreciate it. It was never enough for you and I should’ve saw it in your eyes, I should’ve seen the anger and rage that ran through you for who knows how long? But you know, I tried to look past it, I was better than that. You know this, everyone knew this and that’s why they’re all pissed at you. They knew I didn’t deserve this. But what should I expect? Trust no one I guess.”
“Se-” Was the only last syllable she could mutter out before Selena cut her off.
“Vete a la mierda.” Selena said as she turned her back to Yolanda and walked away, disappearing into thin air.
Yolanda clenched her teeth, trying not to cry. She felt regret stab her in her stomach and she felt angry at her past. She fell to her knees, scraping them on the dirty cell floor. She screamed loud, her hands gripping tightly at her hair and yanking roughly, pulling strands out. She continued to screech, which echoed through the area that she was sitting in. She could feel herself slipping, wishing that she could take it all back.
The lights flickered. Before it stayed on for the rest of the night, this time, it was just a lot dimmer.
Chris was sitting in his room, his guitar in his hand as he strummed a few strings. He hummed a melody to himself, it was one that belonged to one of his ex wife’s songs. He let a long sigh escape his lips.
It was getting late, and he had been up all day trying to think of something to write, but nothing came to mind. And the longer he sat there with his instrument in his hand, the longer time slipped away from him and before he knew it, it was 1am.
“I wish Selena was here. It's been so long…”
He felt his heart ache. He felt empty inside once more, and that’s probably why he divorced his last wife. No one could replace Selena, no matter how hard he tried. He hung his head in dread.
“Bebe?” Selena’s voice came in a whisper from the other side of the room.
“Selena?” he lifted his head up to be faced with Selena standing in front of him, an enormous smile on her face.
“Selena!” he jumped up from the bed and embraced her in the best way possible in a warm loving hug.
“I missed you so much Chris.” she said, her smile fading only some.
“I missed you more Selena.” he said as he pulled away from her some, only to pull her into a deep, passionate and loving kiss.
Their hearts were beating a thousand miles a minute as they held each other in an embrace. They felt so warm and comforted.
“Wait, how could you be here!? I thought you were dead!?”
“I am dead, sadly… but… I found a way to travel here, and I knew I needed to pay you a visit.”
“Mi amor, its so late... “
Selena laughed and pushed him gently. She took a look at the clock.. “Its only 1 in the morning.”
“Pretty late to be visiting someone don’t you think?” he laughed.
“Fine!” she said pushing him harder so he falls back onto his bed in a fit of laughter.
Selena crawls on top of him and pulls him into another kiss, more passionate than the one before. Their kiss lasted for minutes before she pulled away.
“I’m sorry Selena.” he tried to fight back tears.
“About what love?” she said, questioning his worrying expression.
“I found someone else… but we got divorced! But we do have two kids… I’m so sorry.”
Selena got silent and felt something that she would assume, if she wasn’t dead, would be heartbreak. She shook her head trying to shake the feeling and gave a soft sigh.
“I didn’t expect you to stay single forever, and it wasn’t your fault I died. I just hope you were happy as long as you were with her.”
“I was, but I was never as happy with her as I was with you.” Chris mumbled.
Selena kissed him once more, wiping his tears away.
“Chris, I just want you to be happy, I don’t care how it happens. I don’t want you to just be caught up on me. I’m gone, and I can’t come back in any other way but this one. And it's not permanent. I don’t even know how long I can be like this until i have to return back to heaven but I wanted you to know how much I love you, and missed you.”
“Please don’t leave again.” he almost whimpered as he gripped her wrist.
“I have to, I’ve been on earth for a few hours now and I don’t want to miss out on talking to my family. Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Selena… I love you.” he said, tears continuing to stream down his slightly swollen cheeks.
“I love you too Chris. Say “hi” to the kids fo me.”” she said as she started to fade, her voice zoning out along with her.
Chris sat there, in his room in disbelief, but he soon began to smile. He wiped his tears away and laughed some as he realized that this was the happiest he had ever been in a while.
Soon enough, Selena was in her brother’s house, who was fast asleep. She planted a kiss on his forehead and rubbed his shoulder before leaving out. She then went to go visit her sister who was preparing for bed, and gave her a pat on the shoulder and a hug from behind. Her sister turned around and saw nothing and continued to prepare herself for sleep. Selena knew she would return a better time, when everyone was active and awake so that was she could spend quality time with them.
Lastly, she went to go visit her parents who were sitting in the living room watching tv. She appeared right in front of it.
“Hola mama, papa.” Selena said grinning.
Both her parents sat up and looked at her, wiping their eyes to make sure they weren’t dreaming.
“Selena!?” they shouted in unison as they both got up and ran over to hug her.
“You can’t be real!!” her mom screamed in disbelief.
“I am mama, I’m in heaven, but I managed to come here so that I can see everyone.”
“You mean you already visited Chris and your siblings?” her father wondered.
“Yes, Chris was awake writing music but my brother and sister were sleeping.”
“We just can’t believe you’re here mija! We’re so happy to see you!”
“Me too mom, I’m so glad to be able to see you again. Both of you, here alive and well. It's been so long since I’ve been able to have the embrace of my loved once and I wish it could stay that way.”
“I wish it could too.” her mother was tearing up,
“No, please don’t cry mom…. I know this isn’t forever but I’ll be back I promise and I know you’ll both join me in heaven. I’ll just keep coming back until you do, as much as I can,as often as I can. I promise.” Selena said as she started fading away.
“What’s happening?!” her father screamed in a slight panic.
“It's time for me to go I guess. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here that long. I’ll be back. I love you both, I always will… make sure you tell Marcella and Abraham that I visited them last night, and that I’ll return soon.”
“Bye Selena! We love you!” they said together as her father hugged her mother trying his best to comfort her.
Selena waved and blew them a kiss as she became nothing. Completely gone from earth’s surface.
“Selena! Selena wake up!!” the brunette shook her new friend’s lifeless body in worry.
“Selena!” She shook her harder, as she watched Selena finally started breathing again.
She gasped and opened her eyes. She sat up, almost as if she was startled and looked her friend in the face, giving her a big tight hug. She took a second to gain her breath, her chest heaving and her heart racing.
“I’m fine Lisa. Its okay, I’m perfectly fine.”
“Thank goodness…” Lisa sighed as she clinged to her friend’s clothing.
“How long was I gone…?”
“About 5 hours. I thought I had lost you. I wasn’t expecting you to be out of it for so long. What even happened…?”
“I-I’m not sure…” she said pulling away and scratching the back of her head. “I was able to visit my killer, and I was able to get in contact with friends and family. I was so happy to see Chris… and mama and papa.”
“How…?!” Lisa’s eyes widened in wonder and speculation.
“It must have something to do with concentration and thought…”
“I didn’t know we were capable of traveling to earth.”
“Me neither, not until today anyway. But, I don’t think I can do it again. It took a lot of energy and it was super stressful.”
Lisa grew worried and hugged Selena once more, the warm embrace comforting her as they sat there together.
“I want to know more, but I rather not have you talk about it. I don’t want you hurting or worrying.”
A knock at the door suddenly came and they looked at each other in wonder.
“Who is it?” Selena shouted.
“Um… its Mac Miller.” the voice behind the door said.
“Who?” Lisa asked.
“Mac Miller, the rapper.”
“We don’t know any Mac Miller.” Selena responded.
“That’s fine… but I just wanted some help… please? I was just wondering where we were and how’d I get here? Lemme in maybe?”
“Fine come in.” Selena sighed as Mac opened the door and walked in.
“Me too” a second voice came from what seemed like out of nowhere.
A dark skinned man with dreads and an accent walked in. He took a look around, slightly confused about his surroundings.
“I don’t know where I’m at either... “ he drifted off. “Oh, and I’m Bob Marley!”
Lisa and Selena sighed to themselves as their new focus was now on the two men in front of them.
Taglist: @lennonwhipped @rogers-flowered-blazer @caviarandqueen @caminc91 @sweet-mother-love @peacelennon
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hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)
Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS
ao3
Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."
Monday, 7:17 AM
gays united
hbicheryl: good morning gays
wannabett: CHERYL
hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty
hbicheryl: happy?
wannabett: yes
hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour
hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep
nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit
hisshissmotherfucker: whatever
veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?
hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?
wannabett: no
hbicheryl: fine
hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute
hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES
wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??
spillthefogarTEA: oh betty
spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty
nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class
nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want
wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea
spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper
spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean
8:16 AM
hbicheryl + nopeaz
hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought
nopeaz: he looks so timid
hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun
hbicheryl: lets begin phase one
8:19 AM
gays united
wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?
jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni
wannabett: meaning??
jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that
goingtoheller: ^^tru
wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see
8:23 AM
gays united
wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones
wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc
wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM
hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED
spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED
goingtoheller: LMAO
spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE
wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS
veroffica: I'M WHEEZING
hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY
spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"
spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"
spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"
spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"
spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"
wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair
wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole
goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.
veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD
hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY
goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.
hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??
wannabett: he didnt say
goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?
hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
veroffica: i should hope so!
jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life
wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought
spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys
spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications
spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess
wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering
wannabett: haha thats karma i guess
wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??
veroffica: ...guys?
goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.
hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs
hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty
jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now
veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.
hisshissmotherfucker: ^^
jugheadalones: ^^
goingtoheller: ^^
12:03 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK
hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM
nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle
spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon
goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.
veroffica: you two will never live that down.
jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts
hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?
hbicheryl: no
nopeaz: fuck off
goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.
wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??
jugheadalones: and what would that be?
wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!
veroffica: can the substitute even do that?
spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"
nopeaz: at least its only for today
wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??
hbicheryl: lmao cant relate
wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this
12:39 PM
gays united
hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?
hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom
veroffica: ...that was a letdown.
goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.
nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay
jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense
spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho
1:22 PM
gays united
wannabett: SHIT
veroffica: what's wrong, betts?
wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(
goingtoheller: what makes you think that?
wannabett: shes called me four times today already
wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me
jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that
wannabett: you underestimate her
veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.
1:40 PM
gays united
wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office
wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??
wannabett: who wants to bet against me?
goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!
goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.
jugheadalones: i'll bite.
jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her
wannabett: youre on jug
wannabett: be prepared to lose $20
1:55 PM
gays united
wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg
wannabett: fork over the money jones
jugheadalones: ...fuck
jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??
hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool
wannabett: same thing
spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?
wannabett: the usual
wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.
veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(
wannabett: it isnt your fault v
veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.
wannabett: you really think so?
veroffica: i know so.
spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet
hbicheryl: and REALLY gay
spillthefogarTEA: ofc
veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.
wannabett: ^^^
spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends
wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other
hisshissmotherfucker: false
spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(
hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe
hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you
hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??
nopeaz: i see it all right
hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that
nopeaz: me too :)
hbicheryl: i love you toni
nopeaz: i love you too cher
veroffica: awww, that was adorable.
veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??
goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.
jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped
hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!
nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too
hisshissmotherfucker: whatever
spillthefogarTEA: ^^^
wannabett: ^^^
veroffica: ^^^
jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore
2:29 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention
wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor
spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him
hisshissmotherfucker: thats true
hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school
hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die
jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl
goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat
hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you
hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change
nopeaz: thats my girl!!
hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying
hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework
hbicheryl: thats even worse
2:34 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES
hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA
hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise
nopeaz: screw you
hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER
veroffica: sure thing, blossom.
3:00 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS
goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.
jugheadalones: ^^
veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.
wannabett: tru
hisshissmotherfucker: tru
nopeaz: tru
hbicheryl: tru
Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.
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Text
Yet Another Chatfic pt 5
part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4
this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!
please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!
Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat
Queens of New York
8:15
santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive
DJacobs: Yeet!
SJ420: yeet
richbitch: yeet
Spot8365631: yeet
respecs: yeet
albiehadalittlelamb: yeet
WhereforeArtThou: yeet
noteventhatshort: yeet
SJ420: wheres finchy boy?
littlebirdie: still at their apt
littlebirdie: oh right
littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York
PM with albiehadalittlelamb
santagay: al, finch slept over
albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?
santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room
santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.
albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened
PM with littlebirdie
albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?
littlebirdie: …
albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII
littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?
albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me
albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me
littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…
albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan
albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?
littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating
albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same
littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH
littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation
albiehadalittlebird: exactly!
littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong
Queens of New York
respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york
inyourFACEtrack: well you see…
inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017
inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly
noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses
respecs: thats beautiful
respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq
santagay: well if you think about it, its both
richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?
crispycrutch: i think  we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo
santagay: oh god i forgot about that
SJ420: does he even count as a straight?
inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…
santagay: true, speaking of which
santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again
respecs: noted?
SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao
santagay: it worked didnt it?
SJ420: im hate you
santagay: you loved me once loser
WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there
inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo
crispycrutch: ??????
SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months
SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together
SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls
noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD
SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh
santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous
SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care
noteventhatshort: AHHH
inyourFACEtrack: OOOF
richbitch: AN ICON
santagay: ok well
SJ420: don’t even try bud
DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!
santagay: but at least you didnt hide it
santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat
SJ420: ????
Spot8365631: i thought you were over that
santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone
inyourFACEtrack: wait what
noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?
richbitch: im living for this
richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman
noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?
santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART
santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man
Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser
SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST
richbitch: CALLED OUT
inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?
DJacobs: This…. is true.
inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS
respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat
crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh
respecs: i understand and completely respect that
inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?
respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything
Spot8365631: roasted
inyourFACEtrack: bitch
inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH
santagay: fuck offfffff
WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair
WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask
santagay: dude ur still winning
WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work
inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even
santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started
WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this
WhereforeArtThou: i didnt
inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this
inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass
WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window
noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight
inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls
noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about
Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing
inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed
santagay: you should
santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj
inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices
crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to
inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it
Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced
inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY
crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it
inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie
Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming
crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future
inyourFACEtrack: oh god
inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you
crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent
inyourFACEtrack: touche
crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless
crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe
inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn
DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.
crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain
santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie
SJ420: crutchie is my idol
crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend
SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care
SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me
richbitch: im so in love with you
SJ420: love you too babe
PM with SJ420
richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me
SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this
richbitch: because
richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas
SJ420: ok?
More Than Just Cigars
SJ420: kath is acting weird
albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird
albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird
albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?
littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!
SJ420: oh god no
SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date
SJ420: i asked her why and she said because
littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!
littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC
SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas
albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD
littlebirdie: GIRL
SJ420: what????
littlebirdie: jfc ur blind
albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry
SJ420: GUYS PLEASE
littlebirdie: nope
albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho
PM with santagay
albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me
albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight
santagay: and u trust finch in this
albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never
santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt
albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack
Queens of New York
littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?
littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling
DJacobs: Me too, Finch
Spot8365631: rt
SJ420: rt
noteventhatshort: rt
WhereforeArtThou: rt
albiehadalittlelamb: rt
santagay: rt but bi
inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi
richbitch: rt but bi
respecs: rt but bi
crispycrutch: rt but pan
littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York
inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah
Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone
inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot
inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away
DJacobs: What?
DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?
DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?
DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.
DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?
santagay: u got there on ur own!
santagay: im so proud of u!
DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.
inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?
PM with inyourFACEtrack
Spot8365631: wow rude
inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?
Queers of New York
DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.
santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough
respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else
santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi
inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids
inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird
inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?
SJ420: awwww i love my new son
respecs: what about spot?
santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own
Spot8365631: rude but accurate
santagay: thats my name dont wear it out
Spot8365631: i hate you sm
santagay: then y r u always in my house???
Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.
santagay: honestly? thats fair
santagay: i respect ur choices
Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok
PM with Spot8365631
inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way
Spot8365631: ok?
inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?
Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?
inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex
inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do
Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow
inyourFACEtrack: oh ok
20 notes · View notes
synnematic · 6 years
Text
DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One
for @saboace-week
TWO PARTS:
Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters
a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773
A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter
a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889
Summary: 
A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.
Letters to No One
Dear Sabo,
This is stupid.
Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.
i know youre not coming back.
you’re dead
you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late
but im fine
im fine
im not fine
luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.
we’ll get thrugh it
fuck this is stupid
what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it
you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this
fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore
sorry
im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here
i miss you
    ace
sabo,
hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?
this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud
sorry
its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because
well you know
went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.
i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not
youre still dead and im still breaking
i dont know when its gonna stop
if it does at all
    ace
sabo,
Is it nice where you are?
Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.
It sounds warm.
I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here
I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?
The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe
Ive been thinking about death a lot lately
    ace
Hey
I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.
There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.
So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.
I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.
It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.
We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.
I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.
I just don’t want to forget you sabo
    Ace
Me again,
I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.
Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.
I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.
You’re up there somewhere huh?
Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?
Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.
Wish you were here
    Ace
Hey Sabo
I think I need some advice right about now.
It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.
I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.
Not that that really worked out.
Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.
So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.
So tired.
And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.
Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?
They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?
Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?
I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.
I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.
    Ace
He KILLED him.
One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.
I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.
The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.
Well not this time.
This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.
This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.
I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.
I can at least do that.
Sabo,
I’m getting close.
I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.
I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.
Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.
It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.
    Ace
Sabo,
I’m being executed today.
Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?
Damn it.
Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.
I don’t want to do this.
He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.
Maybe I’m just stalling now.
They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.
ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.
The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.
Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.
I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?
Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.
Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.
Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.
And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?
They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.
I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—
I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.
I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.
But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.
I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?
Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.
Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
    Ace
A Couple Years Too Late
Dear Ace,
         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.
If only I could tell you.
I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.
Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.
Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.
It must have been really hard on you…
I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.
Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.
I can dream, right?
.
.
.
Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.
When you found a family .
I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.
Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?
Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.
…I’m sorry.
Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.
A long while.
It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.
Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?
Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.
And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.
Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.
Fourteen.
It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?
Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.
Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…
I miss you.
God I miss you so much.
It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.
Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.
But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.
By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.
I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.
Fifteen.
We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.
         Sabo
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ughthatimagineblog · 6 years
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hot chocolate
requested by anonymous! 
peter parker x reader
word count: 2048
warnings: fluff, kidnap, fighting ig
a/n: sorry this took longer than expected! it’s unedited since i wrote it on my phone! hope you like it!
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Snow crunched beneath your feet on your walk home, your warm phone pressed to your ear. “Peter, I promise I’ll be there. Why are you so worried? I’m the one who needs a tutor!” You giggled. It had been two months you were planning this study date.
Two months you needed to study for Chemistry.
Two months ago you got a tutor and had been seeing a professional one to bring your grades up. But you had a small thing for a nerdy Sophomore genius named Peter Parker. So, you continued with the plan to see him.
“Sorry, Y/N, I’m just excited for good grades.” Peter made up a flimsy excuse on the spot and on his end, he was cozy in his room with Ned, cringing.
In reality, he knew it was a beautiful chance to take a break from chasing the Vulture, who had seemingly been laying low and what better way to spend that break with the girl that made him his most happy.  You smiled, knowing just how bad of a save that really was and said, “Alright, Parker, I’ll be there. Five o’clock sharp. Promise.” You hung up and waited in anticipation for tomorrow.
Peter sighed and clutched his phone to his heart. “You should tell her.” Ned spoke first, interrupting Peter’s daydream. “What?” She shot up off his bed. “No way, Ned. She can’t know.”
“What do you mean ‘She can’t know’? She knows everything else about you!” Ned raised his eyebrows. He was right. You two had known each other since the beginning of middle school, and at first, he was just a friend. A buddy you joked around with in class. Sometimes he was annoying, but only when the entire world annoyed you and even a leaf crunching on the ground would set you off.  But since Peter got older and smarter, and you got wiser, you began to notice the way he talked a little different than everyone else. Like there was an underlying accent beneath his voice.
Or maybe his freckles and how they folded in on each other around his eyes when he laughed. His eyes. Maybe that was it. His brown eyes that made yours melt when he looked at you.
Your heart would do flips when you would think about it. It wasn’t fair. You weren’t planning on falling for him. Especially when he would hide things from you.  Like when you would call to hang out but he would say he was busy with Aunt May, but then you’d call her and she would tell you he was with Ned.   You liked Aunt May, and most of the time, she was the reason you were able to see through Peter’s bullshit. He never kept secrets from you. And you often wondered what in the hell could be so important that he couldn’t trust you of all people. It was the eighth wonder of the world to you.
But you were about to figure out just what that eighth wonder was.
“Peter Parker, Flash Thompson, Cindy. . .” The teacher droned on in Peter’s Chemistry class. “Dude, where’s-“
“Y/L L/N?” The teacher called out and no response. “Y/N? Has anyone seen Y/N?” She tried again before shaking her head and marking her down as absent. Peter looked up at the prospect of her being absent. Maybe she was sick?
“Where is she?” Peter heard Kayla ask a couple seats ahead of him. She was a friend of Y/N’s snd if Peter didn’t know, she would.
But that was the problem. She didn’t.
“I’ve tried calling her at least twenty times and after the first ten, it went straight to voicemail.” Peter sat down and immediately started speaking to Ned at top speed at lunch.
“Maybe she skipped?” Ned asked but Peter shook his head.
“Maybe. Are you sure she wasn’t in your English class?” He asked again and Ned shook his head. “Then she didn’t skip. She loves English.” Peter said confidently. “Look maybe she just wasn’t feeling well. Maybe she was skipping and wasn’t feeling it today. Maybe she just needs rest. She did walk home yesterday. In the snow. She could be tired and need a day off. She’ll be at your place tonight anyways. Dont worry about it.” Ned reassured and Peter nodded his head, still looking worried and only slightly calmed down.
“Okay.”
That night, Peter went home and tried to get things ready. Aunt May was out for the next two nights spending some time with the girls on a mini vacation and it was perfect timing to set up a small date without his Aunt bugging him about it.
He had Christmas lights, music, movies and hot cocoa all set up, ready.
But five o’clock turned into six, six turned into seven and seven turned into seven thirty with no sign of her. At this point, Peter felt stood up. Angry almost.
“What if she was grounded? It’s eight, her mom is home. Ill go and check on her.” Peter reasoned. So he left for your place four blocks away, backpack in hand.
“Mrs. Y/N!” Peter smiled when the door opened to your mother. “Peter! What a lovely surprise!” She smiled. She was happy. Nothing was wrong.
“Is Y/N home?” He asked.
“Should be! I had to leave early for work so she must have gotten herself up this morning for school and yesterday I heard her come home through the fire escape. Silly girl must have forgotten her keys. Should be in her room if youd like to go see her!” She offered with a smile and Peter gulped.
She didnt know she wasnt at school. Peter smiled, nodded and rushed into the home and straight to Y/N’s room.
Peter’s throat tightened. It was empty, the window slid open and frigid air coming through. The window sill and the carpet beneath was wet. Snow had blown in and melted all night. He walked over to her bed, an edge of her white sheets also damp. And he noticed it. The note.
Looking for her? You know where to find her. -V
“The Vulture.” Peter gulped and fear dropped in his stomach. Rushing out, Peter waved a quick goodbye to her mom, telling her she wasn’t in her room but left a note saying she went to Kayla’s for the night.
It didn’t take Peter long to prepare to get you. What took longer was the journey.
He dialed Ned.  “Guy in the chair, Ned!” Peter shouted over the phone. “What?” Sounded a tired, and very confused friend.   “He’s got her. The-The Vulture. He has Y/N. L-Left a note at her place wi-with the window hanging open, a-and I need you to-”
“I’m on it.”
When you finally came to, your mouth burned from the rope scratching at the edges, your nose itched from your messed up hair in your face, and your eyes burned from the chemicals that were shoved into your lungs and had been drifted up further than your nose.
But still you saw. You saw the warehouse. The men around you, they were all there you were sure. It wasn’t the chemicals allowing you to hallucinate.
“Big name cell companies are no good, you know that?” A voice boomed and you quickly put together whoever had the permission to speak was both the leader and your captor.
“How so?” You spoke, refusing to be afraid. Well, you were. Terrified you had ever been. But your grandmother taught you more than your mom ever did about fear and bravery. It was that, the only time one can truly be brave, is when you are at your most fearful.
“Talker? Nice. Well, hon, the reason why, is because they may be big brand, but their firewalls for protection suck. I could hear every word you and your little buddy were saying and it only took me five minutes.” A blond man of about forty stood in front of you.
“Why do you care what we talk about?”
“Because he likes you. And anyone who Peter Parker is a fan of, is an asset to me.” He smirked and you looked beyond him. They were so dark they almost blended in with the darkness of the warehouse behind him. The other dark men in dark jumpsuits. The dark machinery you could only hear.
The only reason you saw the dark wings was because sparks from a welding machine reflected off of one and caught your attention. “Why’s that?” You asked. “Because Spider Man is my enemy. And I need you, to bring him hear” That earned a laugh.
“You think-“ You had to pause from laughter. “That scrawny boy genius Peter Parker is the Spider Man?” You laughed even harder. You liked him but wouldnt even give him the credit.
“I’m a lot less scrawny than you think.” A familiar voice called out.
In the time you were laughing, you didn’t notice the machinery stopped and so did the movement behind the two of you. A red figure emerged from behind the man.
“Vulture. Y/N.”
“Spider Man. You’re Spider Man. Peter?” You asked and he lifted up his mask so you could see his chin and lips. Lips you could recognize anywhere. “Holy shit.”
“Peter! I can’t believe you didn’t tell the lovely lady. Too bad I have to do this, now that you’re hear.”
You didn’t get to see what he was talking about, because in the next moment, you felt something hit your head, and then black.
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You woke up, panicked, pain throbbing in your brain as though someone was splitting it open. You tried opening your eyes but it felt like sleep paralysis. Couldn’t move, couldn’t walk or anything. All you remember was a guy in a warehouse wanting you for revenge on. . .
“Peter?” You called out and you looked up. Red, orange, green and yellow lights were blurry above you.
“Shh, shh, shh, I’m here.” You heard Peter come behind you on. . . The couch and lean your body back into a laying position.
Your vision cleared and you saw him. His lip was busted, there were scrapes on his left temple and a cut through his right eyebrow. You leaned up to touch it gingerly. “Hey. I’m alright. Rest. I called your mom and told her you were at Kayla’s tonight.” He reassured and you lied down.
“I’ll explain everything tomorrow when you feel better. No school. Okay? Just rest.” He said firmly. You were sore. You didn’t notice it at the time but the Vulture guy left you bruised all over from manhandling you into his van. Two stories down. You fought all the way.
“You’re taking care of me?” You asked with a smile and both of your hearts thundered. “I am. It’s the best Christmas present I could ask for.” Peter said with a smile and you looked up at him, leaning on your elbows.
“Peter, I, have to tell you.” You started and coughed and Peter’s heart quickened. “Yes?” He asked.
“I didn’t mean to call you scrawny. You really aren’t. A few weeks ago, when I came to pick you up to walk you to school, I almost walked in on you changing but you had your door open and I saw you without a shirt on and I um, I have been thinking about you in more ways than two. The first to ways meaning platonically and romantically and now I-“
Peter cut off your rambling with a kiss, his lips against yours felt chapped and you had full filled your item on your Bucket List. Kissing Peter Parker Before It’s Too Late.
“I love you too.” He said breathlessly. After a moment more, you agreed to make what you had official and in all honesty, you couldn’t wait to tell Aunt May. You loved that woman and she was like a second mom to you.
Laying back in Peter’s lap while he stroked your hair, you tried to get more rest.
“So you think I’m hot, huh?” He smirked and you playfully hit his chest.
You rolled your eyes. “Yes.”
“How hot?” He smirked. “Peter!” You exclaimed. Smiling, you tried to close your eyes and sleep again.
“Seriously how hot?” You huffed, frustrated. Looking around the room at all the decorations he set up, trying to find an excuse, you saw two mugs on the counter and smirked.
“As hot as hot chocolate now can I go back to sleep now?”
“Yes, dear.” And you fell asleep to the feeling of Peter’s lips on your forehead.
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decodervon · 4 years
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(Disclaimer: I am writing for myself. I know nothing I can say or do will persuade anyone who reads this in or out of any situation they are in. I come here to take off my kid gloves and let my actual emotions swing. I say whatever I want here, with no filter or expectation of any sort of rebuttal or communication. I do not write to change any opinions, save for that of my own.)
Writing as if I'm talking to you.. helps. I have this.. concept of you.. one that never really existed. And if it did? Only for moments. This idea that you really honestly cared about the thoughts and feelings coming out of me. The concept of wanting to hold my hand and help me sort out what my problems were. Basically how I would act when all the stress and anxiety and panic hit you. I dont exhibit those emotions the same way. THIS is how I have a panic attack. This is how I deal with anxiety. I can feel it welling up, building.. and this is my teapot whistling. This is how I pour myself out. This is self-care. Not just some indirect way to contact you. As I made mention in my disclaimer, this is for me. It's not for you. I dont think you fully understood that this was all a window into my mind. Just for you to peek because I trusted you, and only you, enough to see into my extremely personal thoughts.
So talking to this.. imaginary version of you that still cares about me.. helps. You dont know how to care about me anymore in real life. You gave up on me a while ago. Your actual version of care never went past yourself. Your version of "above and beyond" was sticking around when I was terrible to you. That's not what that is. That was just.. stupidity. I was always wrong to treat you that way, but you were stupid to let me treat you that way. We look back on the timeline and the only thing that broke that? Shock. Leaving me. Helping me understand that you /wouldnt/ stick around through me beating you down emotionally. I was in a place that was so dark, I couldn't even see what I was doing or how I was treating you. You were suppose to be the one to reach into the muck and pull me out by my ears. Instead you let it drag you down with you.
I'm not blaming that all on you, mind you. Two to tango. But it was like trying to put out a fire by waiting patiently for it to die out. That was never going to work. But you arent the type of emotionally intelligent person to know, understand, or figure that out. Sorry. That was always your weakest point. That was something I had to help you develop literally our entire relationship. I'd even say "train" if I was feeling more malicious. Do you understand that I've been this emotionally adept since I was 15? Do you get how hard it is to SEE someone flounder with it a decade later and then have them not believe you know what you're talking about because they just don't understand it? I was right about so much stupid shit it makes me sick. I was right to stop trying after you starting treating me badly. I was right about Tom. I was right about you distancing yourself from me. I was right about you not having faith in me. and even going farther back into our open relationship and thinking you would burn past my boundaries with little to no regard and Kenny. It felt like I was a psychic and no one would believe me.
This is all just idle commentary. This isnt the heart of my anger or where my anxiety stems. These are the facts. You were never good with my emotional things. Sure, youd let me cry into you chest when it all hit, which was correct first step... but that's not the full scope of what an adult needs. Adults need to be reassured. They need to know that you're ready to help them, even if you dont actually. Adults need to be loved and calmed and talked to and made to understand that you'll be there for them when the worst hits. This was how I treated you when things were okay. How I took care of you during your attacks. After nearly all of mine, I was always found wanting. Like I was some sort of.. obstacle. Like taking care of me was a hassle. Like you were doing it only because you felt obligation. I dont know if that's how you actually felt, but it's how you came off. It made me feel like you just wanted me to stop crying because it was annoying. and god. what a feeling that is. not wanting to share your emotions with your significant other because you were scared they resented your feelings. it doesnt matter. I shouldnt have to explain to another grown-ups adult. you should be emotionally capable by 30. you've had a lot of opportunities to practice.
no relationship is without emotional labor. not one. not even the one you're in. you just haven't quite got there yet. you dont know their dark sides, you dont know when the other shoe is going to drop. you keep your walls up, but it's only a matter of time. you will deal with their damages, with their flaws, with everything that makes up that human being because that's what every human being is: a bunch of flaws and merits rolled into one mess. so enjoy your honeymoon phase, because everyday is one day closer to it being gone.
These are tangents. this isnt even why I wanted to talk here. Maybe the lack of emotional intelligence thing. that was one. always so shocked to see I'm hurt or surprised to see that my feelings well up and cause me to burst. that's what new years was. I regret saying anything more to you than "happy birthday". I was in a horrible way. we werent talking. I felt used. I felt like I did back in middle school when the occasional pretty girl would lead me around by the nose until she got bored of me. I felt like you had used me for attention for the last 3 months. letting me plan all the things you never wanted to plan. put in all the effort to try and see you. knowing secretly that you didnt want me, but loved the attention of being wanted. I was so angry. Part of that anger remains.. but not for that reason. That's just the logic of what lead to my explosion on new years. And let me make this clear: this isnt an excuse. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm not claiming the devil made me do it. these were my own actions which, even by myself, I am shameful and regretful over. These are the reasons that led up to it. I had just stood up to you and said I didnt want to be treated badly once I realized you were, in fact, doing that. And you were just fine to drop me. you didnt care. you didnt care about any of it. those months and time? you didnt care. so I said monstrous stuff. I said really horrible shit and even when you tried to stop me, i doubled downed on it. I wish I coudlve been logical. i wish your words could reach me while i felt that much anger. but they couldnt. not paired with the feeling that made me most angry: feeling emotional used by a pretty face.
You do understand that sharing my emotional experience isnt easy, right? If I was a good masseuse, it doesnt make massaging take any less effort.. in fact, probably more. Like talking to you, helping you decompress, trying to get you to understand better emotional habits? That was HARD. REALLY HARD. And then for 3 months I tried to have a relationship alone. Why let it drag on if you werent giving me a real chance? This is where I started to figure out where my true anger was coming from.
My true anger is something that time will not change. No matter what happens in our lives, the true anger is a permanent judgement against your character. it's a black mark I cannot forgive. It's a change of perspective in how i see, acknowledge, and respect you. It is the truth. And it all stems from Faith.
"What do you mean?" you ask. My eyes turning away from whatever I had been longing at to face yours, unblinking.
"Faith. It's a simple word with a very complex meaning. Very unique to each person who says it. Like Love or Sex."
"You remember the day I caught you. I came over and sat across from you, much like this. I watched you flail and cry and beg.. I watched you reach for me. In those moments.. You were the most honest you had ever been. In our relationship, perhaps in your life. You gave yourself up and wept. You wept for me to stay. You told me all your secrets and threw yourself to my mercy." I said, looking away mournfully.
"I had never.. seen such honesty." my tears teared up as I kept talking,
"I didnt know how to approach it, as angry as I was. I was so mad.. but seeing you be... actually honest was... disarming. I had no defense. I saw you for who you were. In all your flaws... in all your pain. You begged me. You exposed yourself and gave me everything and asked for another chance." my tears subsided slowly as I made my small side-glance back to your unwavering eyes.
"Faith. You were honest, but you were honest about being a cheat and a liar. No one in their right mind would want to enter into a bond with a self-admitted liar and cheat. But I had... Faith." the word being almost spit from my mouth, my face gently contorted at the thought.
"If there was one truth I knew about you, it was that you were a hard worker. I had faith that you would take this seriously. I had faith that with your sins laid bare, you could only ascend from that point. And so.. I made a choice." a light shrug followed by the ritual of removing a cigarette from my silver case. a smooth light and a pull later..
"I went against every fiber of my being. every angry bone in my body. every brain cell halting me. I said....'Okay' and that was that." Another long pull and my eyes drifted off to the wall, looking through them to that space that only exists in between everything else.
"And the worst part of all of this? I was right to do it. I watched you turn your entire life around. You started to dance again. you started to work out. and so your body issues became farther and farther away. You started down your burlesque career path. You started looking for better jobs. You found them and you got them. You became the girl I always saw and looked for. I was right to believe you and have faith." a quick laugh and another pull later, I adjusted myself in my seat, shooting a look back at her.
"You werent without mistakes, mind you. you had your stumbles. I couldn't tell you the exacts of them, because that was part of Faith too. It was the idea that I knew you could stumble, but those were to be forgiven if the rest of your progress was noticable enough to warrant it. And it was! You were turning it all around, slowly but surely. Who would I have been to get in the way of your progress by bogging you down at every little thing? I was happy to see you change from this secretive, gaslighting monster into.. into someone happy." the tears streamed down my face faster than I expected. I pulled my cigarette as if fearing the water would put it out. I cleaned myself up quickly, in a meek attempt to conceal it.
"But something we didnt account for was.. how far the damage of betrayal went. It coursed through my veins. it haunted me like a ghost. it STILL haunts me. I was betrayed by who i had loved the most. it was my most venerable covenant with myself. I hated you for it." I took a long drag while looking at her dead on.
"I /hated/ you for it. I was still honestly happy to see you grow and change. but I had a darkness to me that was inconsolable. so much resentment. It was like seeing your favorite, most friendly friend... and knowing they accidentally killed someone over the summer. it was this duality of love and hate. you were my heaven and my hell. I didnt know to negotiate the two." I cashed the end of my cigarette and sat my elbows on my knees, chin on folded hands.
"My true anger. Once it all hit critical mass. once you pushed yourself beyond. after the death. after I started to really abuse your emotions, you measured me. I pushed my last time and much like the man before me, you agreed. I left you and you finally agreed. I was found wanting and it slapped me in the face. In that moment, I saw myself. I finally admitted and saw what I had become. a shadow of myself. a ghost of a kind man grown cold. It was like putting on glasses or a hat that fit. I was shocked. I was cowed. I was ashamed and I was repent. So many feelings at once strangled me and the one that erupted over them all was the loss of you. You were the trigger. You were the harsh truth I needed to hear. I shoot myself through the foot and you were the smoking hole that let me understand I wasnt okay." my eyes looked away shamefully, moving back in my seat. with an uncomfortable adjust, I continued.
"I...begged you. I found myself on the other side of that table, so long ago. caught within my own impulses and my worst behaviors. a victim of my own design. that person i loved and cared for so close and so far. I cried and I pleaded. I admitted my guilt and my sins and threw myself to you like you had shown me." my face contorted in what started as sadness, but transitioned into a crying glare.
"I asked you. with all my shit laid bare. I asked for another chance. I asked for your faith!" my eyes turned away, shaking my head, looking down.
"I dont know why I thought you had the emotional acumen to do what I had done. to give me the honest chance i had given you. hell, I helped develop those skills in you and that was my HARDEST emotional choice. thinking that you would.. that you COULD do that was irresponsible of me. But you said, 'yes.' maybe just to mirror me, maybe because you werent ready to lose me. whatever the reason, you signed a check your heart wasnt ready to cash."
"every misstep I made sent me right back to start. you didn't care that I was making progress. you didnt care I was taking better care of myself or moving towards the things o wanted. none of that mattered. you were done before you knew you were done. you let me.. twist and writhe and letting me make a fool out of myself trying to beg you to allow me the priviledge of courting you. Do you understand how fucked up that is to do to someone you've known for that long who is trying their hardest? I know I had a hard time trusting you originally, but I knew that was /MY/ problem and not yours. I worked on it in my own time and figured it out. you put all of it on me. you FOUGHT ME ABOUT TOM." I was yelling at this point. I tried to calm myself and take a deep breath, but those words rang over and over in my head.
"....you even admitted I was right to think what i thought. that means you admit my warning my legitimate and that means you were wrong to fight me and defend him. that was one of our last fights. and you never realised it wasnt really about him. it was about how you would more likely defend a friend that didnt deserve it, than believe someone who earnestly loved you. you have a Stockholm syndrome with your friendships and I'm tired of pretending you dont. It is not a strength and if you were smart, you wouldnt give away so much power to people you dont fully know. But whatever. I'm not here to advise anymore." another breath. another sigh. the last tirade.
"You gave me a chance without faith. you had no plan to work with me. you had.. no faith in me changing. because you needed me to change in a way that you understood, not in a way that actually benefitted me. Many people have come up to me unprompted to tell me they were impressed by what they had noticed. they still do. they talk about how much better off i am without you. how stronger I am." quiet tears cascaded down. soft, gentle ones. truer than the angry ones.
"...then why dont I feel strong? why dont I feel better off? you didnt.. didnt understand how to have faith in someone. you didnt believe in me. you saw me at my lowest and you turned away from me. all you ever understood was what could benefit you. even now. even with him. it's all about what you can take from it. you're a narcissist. the thing you loved most about me was what I could do for you. how I could take care of you. you monster. you used me. you used my infinite heart and blackened it. I learned nothing from you. that's my true anger. you looked away when I needed you most. you were there for better, but not for worse. I gave you an honest, real chance. what you gave me? it was nothing. I tore your stupid poster down. threw away your stupid clothes. our last talk? you wanting my body and still getting his. I am still the cake you want to eat while already having one. I just exist as someone to take from. I will always exist in your mind as a place to only take. if Death finds you? You will call upon me to take emotional solace. if Chaos finds you? you will call to take stability. I do not exist unless I benefit you. unless I serve. I had served you enough."
everything I was put through after Magnolia was hell. I know I complained about it, but I loved going to Magnolia every time. It was my first home. I loved exploring and going different ways.. seeing my old homes. the old streets. That was where our happiness died.
I forgive you for all the other things, but I can never ever forgive you for losing Faith in me. I forgave you after cheating on me and seeing someone behind my back. you couldnt forgive me after my heart was destroyed and my family died. you are self-centered. In the end, you dont care about others, you just care about how it affects you.
must be nice.
ps. I'm considering leaving her. not for you, but for me. I need something light and meaningless. youd probably fit the bill if you werent so embroiled in your own selfish gains. but I'm sure the feeling of anyone filling up that space in your bed in your wrecked room is good enough. whether you know them for a few months or 8 years.
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heyitsyn · 4 years
Text
Manager!Seijoh KYO ROUTE
a/n: AAAAA HERE IT FINALLY IS!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!
THIS IS KYO’S ROUTE AND TBH, I REALLY WANT TO MAKE AN IWA ROUTE BUT I ALSO WANT TO MAKE AN OIKAWA ROUTE BC IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE’S FAVORITE IS ACTUALLY OIKS AND I WANT TO GIVE HER THAT ENDING AND I WANT IWA TO HAVE AN ENDING AS A PERSONAL REQUEST HEHEHEHEHEHE
REMINDER, THIS IS A WHAT IF SCENARIO LIKE WHAT IF SHE ENDS UP WITH KYO AND HOW WOULD IT HAPPEN SO THIS IS NOT REALLY GOING TO BE PART OF THE MAIN MANAGER!SEIJOH SERIES
anon requests:  
 -i love the seijoh manager one and i was just wondering if i could please request one where she ends up with kyoken
-OH MY GOD Can y/n-chan and kyoubabie end up together and like how would the team react wawlndksndkfnkdndkfnkd im so soft
-I kinda like the idea after the time skip that Kyo and the manager end up together, he's still such a softie for her. I feel like after seeing how Kyo acts around her the team wasn't surprised that they ended up together and kinda expected it.
- what if manager reader and Kyotani kiss 😳👉👈
- hi I love your seijoh manager aus! They’re so cute and wholesome but also very chaotic 😭 I have a request,, if yn and kyo end up together then can you do a scenario where the boys find out and are like 👁👄👁 huh, u choose the dog?? NDJJS IDK KYO IS SO UNDERRATED BUT N E WAYS ILY AND YOUR SERIES YOURE SO TALENTED 😭💕
i totally not already planned this part from the last part 
tw: hint of abuse
Tumblr media
ALSKDFJASDKJAFKLDSJFLKA HINATA SAID NYOOM 
so,,, yep lets start
hehehehehehehe kyo is so protective like bls be mine
even though miyo has been expelled and doesnt mess w you anymore, he still looks out for you and makes sure no one messed w you
like he actually goes to the first floor immediately and leans on the wall outside your class so he could walk with you to the gym or to lunch
at first, you thought it was bc oikawa told him to look out for you but when you found out it was competely all him, you were so soft for him and appreciative at him taking the time to go to you
like one day after class, you were planning on just eating lunch inside the classroom with kunimi and kindaichi but you were thirsty and felt stuffed in the room so you excused yourself to go eat at the roof
as you opened the door, you came face-to-face with the blonde upperclassman and you were so shocked that you closed the door on impulse
you said haha not today satan
but you realized who he was and hurriedly opened it
‘ohmagod im so sorry kyo-san!’
he shrugged
‘its fine’
you smiled apologetically and cleared your throat
‘so,,, what can i do for you, kyo-san?’
he shoved his hands in his pockets bc in truth, he didnt really know, but he caught sight of your bento on your hands
‘the roof?’
he asked making you look at him, impressed
‘howd you know?’
‘if youre not eating in there, the roof would be the only other place youd eat, right?’
you leaned against the doorway and reached forward to rub his arm
‘you stalking me now, kyo-san?’
he narrowed his eyes and looked away
but he grabbed your hand before interlacing your fingers and you were shocked to be dragged with him to somewhere in the school
‘the roof’
was all he said and you quickly kept up to pace with him until you arrived your destination at the top of the school
it was quite a cloudy day so the sun was actually out of view but it wasnt going to be a rainy day
the temperature was slowly getting colder since you were now transitioning from fall to winter but you didnt care bc it was still fresh air
you hurriedly tugged him forward and sat him down next to you so you both were seated together
‘do you not eat lunch kyo-san?’
‘no. i dont have time’
he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them while you laid your legs on a straight line in front of you so you could rest the box on your lap
kyo laid his cheek on his arm as he watched you excitedly unwrap the cloth and open the mint-green lid to reveal the rice and tamagoyaki with chicken bites inside
‘itadakimasu!’
you softly clapped your hands then positioned your chopsticks but you paused, head turning to kyo
he felt like he was caught stealing something lmao stealing glances get it so he quickly averted his gaze to the railing that surrounded the roof
you delicately placed a hand on his arm which gave you his attention and you raised a piece of the egg dish
‘one?’
you offered and he shook his head but you pouted at him making him sigh then open his mouth
now you were no gorgon ramsai im cackling sorry but you could cook since your mother believed that you werent a girl unless you knew how to cook
his eyes were shining as he chewed and you giggled before holding up another piece which he quickly snatched up
‘ill bring you your own bento tomorrow kyo-san~!’
and you did
the next day, you waited for him at your class and when you caught sight of him walking from your class window, you bounced up in your seat, startling kindaichi from eating his noodles
‘y/n?’
kunimi questioned but you werent even looking at him
‘ill see you later, aki!’
you waved and opened the door to go to kyo, who lowkey got scared when you just ran up to him
he raised his hand to ruffle your hair and you got closer to him and held out the blue box
‘here. as promised’
he held the box and stared at it, like it was the first time someone gave him this
you took his surprise as gratitude and grabbed his hand, swinging it as you talked about your lessons on your way to the roof
when he opened it, he lifted the first container and saw what was hiding at the very bottom shelf
it was a serving of famima chicken with its wrapper stil intact
‘how-’
‘saw you eating it when you first joined the team. then i started noticing you eating it whenever we go to the convenience store’
the fact that you were so perceptive towards him brought an unfamiliar feeling inside him that made his heart thump and stomach to tickle
‘dont worry, kyo-san! i made sure everything was good!’
your eyes closed due to the intensity of your grin and you raised a thumbs up to prove your word further
he blinked at you and truly thought you were an angel
an angel sent down to help a lost hope like him?
was that you?
were you his angel?
during practice, he was actually very calm and collected and wasnt pushing anyone at all which surprised everyone
iwaizumi even stared at him confusingly and if iwa was looking at him like that, the entire team knew something was up
‘oi, kyotani, you good? you sick?’
rip 2020 would like to know your location
the fake blonde turned to him and shook his head, face free of any glare or irritation
in fact, he looked like a completely different person if not for the hair
‘im good’
he answered
‘did they have a buy one get one sale on that chicken of yours?’
oikawa tested
if he answered him, something was definitely wrong
‘no. i dont think so’
yep, something was wrong
oikawa was screaming and shouting that the world was going to end while the others were laughing, panicking, and worrying while iwa just stood there, staring at his underclassman
you returned from filling up the bottles and was confused at the state of the team
‘i-um-what happened’
kyo’s ears perked up at your voice and he bounded up to you like a doggie seeing its owner come home
you smiled and reached up to place a hand on his shoulder with ease bc he was one of the shorter players therefore easier to reach
‘did oikawa-san break again?’
you asked and he nodded
‘hes being an idiot’
he mumbled
‘hes just being oikawa-san, kyo-san. you still have to respect him as your captain, remember that’
you said and he rolled his eyes but nodded anyways
‘fine. only because you said so’
iwa was watching this interaction with very wide eyes and his confusion only grew like 10 million times
kyotani kentarou never answered to anyone and if he did, that must be earned
as far as iwa knew, kyo was just so soft to you and treats you so different than the 7.8 billion people in the world
no person in the world could ever get kyo to act like that except you
and there had to be a reason
and iwa was pretty sure he knew
after practice, you were scheduled to look after the cats in shinsou’s house so you were going to walk with kyo
he was impatiently waiting for oikawa to finish talking to you until his patience just snapped and he grabbed you and lifted you up to his arms then just started walking, surprising everyone in silence
you instinctually wrapped your legs around him and held on to his shoulders tightly while his arms were bounded around your waist
‘OI! KYOKEN-CHAN! HOW DARE YOU STEAL Y/N-CHAN!’
oikawa was punching the air
you placed your cheek on his shoulder and let out a breathy chuckle
‘you couldnt wait for another second, kyo-san?’
‘the trash was starting to reek’
you laughed and grimaced at the laughter that bubbled out of you
‘so mean, kyo-san!’
your laughter made him subconsciously smile and he held you closer, placing his chin on your shoulder as he continued on the trek to the familiar purple house
once you did arrive though, kyo refused to let your hand go
ope reference?
‘kyoooooo~! cmon! let me gooo~!’
‘no’
he grumbled and continued to hold your hand tighter as you tried to tug it free so you could walk up the gates to your employer
‘i need to work~! pleeeease~!’
you whined but he scrunched his nose in distate, pulling your hand forward so you stumbled into his chest where he wrapped both arms to cage you in
‘no. i dont want you with that grape head’
he growled lowly making you laugh and you turned so your ear would be right above his heart
it was beating fast
his scent travelled up your nose and you closed your eyes, snuggling even further
cherry blossoms and vanilla with the slightest hint of sandalwood
‘i need to go’
you mumbled but he gripped your tighter
‘stay with me’
he whispered 
tbh you wouldve if literally hizashi-san didnt catch you at the front of his house cuddling
it was quite an embarrassing encouter when he wouldnt stop talking about it and you had to actually push him and aizawa out the door 
‘we were really rooting for hitoshi but do what makes you happy, dear!’
‘hizashi-san, please!’
you werent really aware of how clingy kyoken was and it only caught your attention when during one of your lunch (dates), he clinging on to you
your position has now shifted so you were sitting between his legs while you fed him food and he would rest his chin on your shoulder to watch the clouds and sky
‘kyo-san, did something happen? youre clingier than usual’
he shook his head and buried his face in your neck
‘allergies’
he whispered and you leaned your head on top of his, continuing on eating your food
‘hey, kyo-san, do you think it will snow soon? we’re getting into december already so it would snow soon, right?’
you asked and he emerged from his spot
‘i hope so. that would be nice. we need a little more snow now and then’
im SCREAMING RIGHT NOW AND TEARS ARE WELLING UP IN MY EYES HELP-
‘yea. yea. when it falls, i want to go out and stand in it. if we’re lucky, we could have a snowball fight up here. whaddya think, kyo-san?’
pls dont blast at me with the timeline bc tbh my timeline is so messed up and if i was to fix that, id basically have to scrap this entire series bc of how messy with the timeline it is
‘yea. we will’
he hugged you tighter that day
when he didnt show up for practice, you were frantically looking for him
did he skip?
you knew how he struggled not being able to play with the others and missing this opportunity wasnt something he would do
and you were worried where he was and he might be hurt somewhere
you ran out of the gym and out of the school grounds, running through the alleys and any secluded area bc he mustve had a bad day and wanted to get away
indeed, you found him in the alleyway and you were horrified at his bloodied face and ruffled clothing
he was seated on the floor, head leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, even oblivious to the dogs and cats that were worriedly nudging him
‘kyo-san!’
you shrieked and his eyes flew open and he quickly stood up to run but you were quicker and restrained him with your arms around his middle
it was so bad
his foster family,,,, everything was such a mess
he trembled in your arms and you felt his fear, his terror, and you gently, but firmly, held him so you could look at his face
he was staring at the floor angrily, tears welling up in his eyes and you shakingly placed a hand on his cheek, bringing it down so he could rest his forehead against yours
assuring words would fall deaf to his ears so you didnt even bother
instead, you tried to hold his hand, ignoring the flinching, but gently held it and brought it up to rest on top of where your heart would be
his eyes closed and your forehead nuzzled against his 
‘feel my heartbeat. recognize me, as it beats for you’
you whispered to him, his other hand shakingly touching the hand that was on his face so he could caress it and he moved his head, placing a kiss on your palm
‘its beating for kenta-kun,, no foster family, no volleyball team, nobody else and nothing else matters but my heartbeat, so focus on it. because this is everything i could give you so treasure it, please’
you whispered, your own tears falling, hurting for your love
okay im full sobbing
‘and the snow. it will snow soon and you and i,,, we will go outside and we will play in the snow. the world will turn white but your colors will still paint my sight. let my heartbeat be your colors and let me color your canvas during the snow, kyo-san. it will beat for you, and only you, for as long as you let it. your heartbeat has painted mine already and its the most beautiful colors ive ever seen’
he cried for the first time that day, not in pain or sadness, but in happiness, because he can finally see it
your love and your colors starting to brighten the black and red hes grown accustomed to and helping him see, indeed, the world was beautiful
but it was truly your colors that made him realize that
kyotani and you stayed in that position for a long time and yahaba, who went after you, saw and quickly ran back to the gym to assure that you were alright and kyotani was safe, in your arms
after the natsu fiasco, he was a frequent visitor in your house and your family gets the gist of yanno, his home life, and your mother even gave him the spare key of the house
‘if y/n-chan trusts you, i do too’
yall what 😭
at night, you would lay out at the backyard, laying side-by-side and pointing at the stars and making up stupid stories as to why that star was brighter than the other or why the moon was built like that
but kyo was more focused, much happier, that he can see everything so much clearer and better
he turned his gaze from the stars to you beside him, your hair spreading out beneath you and your eyes sometimes disapperaing when you would laugh too hard
‘i wonder why the night sky is blue instead of black like the universe’
you wondered out loud but kyotani whispered something you didnt think youd ever hear from him
‘because you let me paint everything with my colors and i refuse to let you see something that i suffered seeing my entire life’
you returned his gaze and this was the real kyotani kentaro
not kyoken,
not kenta-kun
kyotani kentaro
and my god was he beautiful
he kissed you that night
it wasnt anything lustful, nothing aggressive, but not exactly gentle
it was a perfect balance of need yet hesitance that made it so much more powerful and important because it relayed the unspoken words that he had the hardest time letting out
and that was okay with you
kyo’s eyes and touch said everything he wanted to say
there was no one in sight, no body to judge the violent boy and the kind girl, just you and him with the man in the moon, gently smiling that the so-called lost cause finally found his redemption
okay that serious and sad stuff is finally out of the way and no more crying this time so dont be sad anymore :(
your relationship was never something you flaunted around or bragged about bc you and kyo were pretty private people so nobody really knew bc kyo still acted the way he would when oikawa would flirt you but yahaba noticed
oh lordie he noticed
he noticed kyo was much angrier when oikawa does his antics and he would stick closer to you, exchanging bashful smiles with you
the team only noticed when you seemed to just glow
like not like a glowstick 
but like your,,, aura,,, 
you laughed more, you smiled more, you teased everyone more
you were so,,, you
they had a hunch that something happened between you and kyo but they were never really sure
but ehehehe they confirmed it alright
the third years: mattsun, makki, iwa, and oiks were walking down the hallway when again, someone peaked out the window and saw you and kyo by the shade and you were perfectly angled so they could see the two of you
you were pressed against the wall while kyo was hovering over you with an arm beside your head while his hand was caressing your hip
makki let out a chortled scream that caught the attention of the others and he pointed at you two wordlessly
omg WAS KYOTANI SMILING
they watched as kyo smiled then teased you by kissing your nose, then your cheeks
‘kyo, kiss me right!’
you whined but giggled
kyotani had a teasing smirk but continued kissing you everywhere but where you wanted
‘hm? here? or here?’
right below your ear was your ticklish spot and he knew that so his kisses there tickled you and sent you on a giggling spree
‘kyo~~~!’
finally, he relented and gave you a sweet, yet passionate kiss that always managed to leave you breathless
that was when oikawa went on a rampage
well, he waited until classes were over but during practice, oh girl he went on a rampage
‘Y/N, KYOTANI!’
everyone knew he was serious when he didnt call them with those ridiculous nicknames
ngl you were scared too but kyo just glared at him
‘what’
he grumbled but you instinctively placed a hand on his arm
‘are you dating now, y/n, kyotani?’
iwa gently asked but oikawa was being oikawa
oikawa glared at you then pouted
‘OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, YOU CHOOSE THE DOG?!’
everyone gave each other nervous looks bc they kinda expected this but oikawa asking it like that made them sweat
they expected kyo to blow up but it was you who glared at oikawa, standing protectively in front of kyo
‘and what about it?’
you hissed and oikawa jumped, a hand over his heart
‘REALLY, Y/N-CHAN?! HIM?!’
‘yea and whats the problem with it? how is it your business? why do i need to validate my feelings for him? who do you think you are?’
oml kyo had to drag you out of there bc you were seriously about to fight oikawa for even having the NERVE to say that to you
like kyo held you up with his arms under your armpits as you were kicking the air and wanting to go back in there
‘no! let me go! kyo! i will hit him! come on! baby please!’
you whined and continued kicking
as much as kyo wanted to see you violently hit oikawa, he knew you would feel bad about it later and be guilty for hurting your captain
‘puppy, please. youre too angry right now and i will not sit there and listen to you whine and be sad that you hit oikawa tonight’
you hmphed and crossed your arms
he finally set you down but he wrapped his arms around you from behind and he placed a kiss on your cheek
‘but im really happy though. im really happy that you would fight for me’
but you stayed mad, pouting and looking away with your arms crossed
it was a cute sight honestly
‘of course i would. i would fight anyone who says stuff about you because i love you’
you ranted, just realizing what you said when you finished
no one has exactly said the ‘L’ word yet so you were partly scared that you said it
but kyo laughed then kissed your neck affectionately
‘i love you too, but my puppy is a nice, gentle, kind, little angel’
every compliment earned you a kiss and your tough and angry act finally slipped and you were giggling in his arms
‘yanno, if someone were to see you like this, they would think youre an impostor’
you commented in between giving him little pecks
he shrugged
‘meh. i dont care. i have you so i dont really care what they say about me. but now about you on the other hand-’
you slapped him on the chest
‘you hypocrite! youd fight someone for me but not me fighting someone for you?! how mean!’
you faked a look of surprise but he silenced you with a last kiss
‘youre so cute, y/n. my baby’
the team was a little bit in shambles while you two were away with the third years basically crying and pouting but they really did see this coming so no one was genuinely surprised, even oikawa
‘she really picked him, huh?’
iwa mumbled, a sad smile on his face as if he was just realizing it now
it was something they shouldve easily seen coming and accepted as kyo was so different around you and you treated him so much more than the rest
but why did it hurt so much?
as i mentioned before, they were all really hurting though because in a way, you were their first love
but they wish you to be happy and for kyotani to treat you right because you deserved the universe and more
TIME SKIP!!!!
OH YES I LOVE THIS!!!!
so basically, from my estimation, the timeskip is about 9 years after the third years graduate
so you are like 25 while kyo is 26
lets say you got a job as an editor alongside some guy named akaashi keiji while kyo was still playing volleyball
you got,,,, married quite early like tanaka and kiyoko and you have some minis running around
god decided to give you twins as children like a year after yall wed and currently, you were,,,, having another one??
ehehehe this part made my heart balloon up
imma make it so that kyo actually went to see the olympics with you and your kids are like 3 and theyre actually volleyball fans due to the influence of their uncles and father and partly you
it was easy to get tickets bc iwa literally works for the team and tooru is literally a player and they really wanted to see their godchildren
ngl the team was salty bc you picked them two as godfathers but next time, theyre making you pick out of a hat for your future child
so here you were, each parent carrying a child, lets say the girl is naomi while the boy is naoki, and the girl was wearing a mini argentina oikawa jersey that he specially got for his goddaughter while iwa got naoki a mini kageyama jersey just to spite oikawa
they each were wiggling in excitement to see their uncles and omg imma switch it again that the whole seijoh team is literally there like the og gang is there and watching the olympics
naoki and naomi were excitedly looking around at the unfamiliar faces and kyo was laughing when naomi tugged his collar when she saw her godfather’s picture upclose
‘papa! its kawa! kawa!’
she giggled and he ruffled her mini pigtails
‘it is, isnt it, mimi-chan’
while your son was calmly in your arms, you watched your husband and child interact with each other and her giggling as he tickled her nose
‘y/n-chan! kyoken!’
a familiar shout from only one person made you turn and see oikawa with the others at the back
of course he was huddled in a jacket to not attract attention but the og seijoh volleyball team was back together after so many years apart
‘kawa! hi!!’
naomi wiggled and she told her dad to let her down so she could run up to oikawa who was a few feet away
naoki also caught sight of his idol and you let him run after his sister but crash into the strong arms of iwaizumi
‘hello zumi’
naoki mumbled
‘hey little man! how are you?’
you gave everyone hugs and went to go to a restaurnt nearby to be away from the chaos of the people and kyo could tell you were getting tired standing
he helped you sit on a chair but you kept on grumbling to him
‘kenta, ive been pregnant before, with two! im fine, okay? so stop worrying’
kyo scrunched his nose but flicked your forehead
‘of course i have to worry. you have a literal human being inside of you’
‘well-’
but he used his hand to scrunch your cheeks to prevent you from speaking
‘what? hm, what was it, doll?’
the team gagged 
‘seriously! we suffered 3 years of this already! stop it!!’
kindaichi whined 
you stuck your tongue out at him and everyone got settled on their seats before ordering their food
the children were being entertained by the others and you were giggling at the antics of your friends
‘honestly, you all are nearly 30 yet you still act like children’
you scolded but had a smile on your lips to show you were actually teasing
‘and you act like youre 50 just because youre married with kids’
kunimi countered with his tongue out
you gasped before trying to reach over the table and snatch the tongue out of his mouth
‘come here you litte-’
but kyo gently sat you back down with a stiff smile
‘baby, doll, darling, love, i swear you forget youre not 18 anymore. please youre gonna send your husband to an early grave if you keep acting like this’
he whined, fake crying and the team was so shocked to see him still acting like this 
‘oh my god, y/n-chan, how did you ever get kyoken-chan to be like this? did you brainwash him?’
oikawa mumbled
‘papa dont cry’
naoki tried to reach over the table from iwa’s arms to his father who he thought was really crying
yahaba shook watari in cuteness and mattsun turned to makki
‘can we get one?’
makki scoffed and hit him but still laughed
‘papa is worried that mama will hurt your baby brother, nao-kun’
kindaichi choked on his drink while oikawa screeched, holding naomi tighter
‘BROTHER?! ITS A BOY?!’
the guests in the restaurant were startled by the shriek from the argentina player and you gave kyotani a betrayed look
‘urusai, oikawa!’
kyotani snarled, face turning red at his blunder
‘CAN I BE GODFATHER THIS TIME?!’
‘YAHABA YOU IDIOT! ITS ME!’
‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOU SHUT UP MATSUKAWA! ITS ME!’
‘OIKAWA YOU GREEDY LITTLE BIT-!’
‘SHUT UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD!’
you slammed your hands on the table, on your feet and glaring down at the men
naoki and naomi were already used to their mother yelling at uncle mattsun and uncle makki so they were snickering at their uncles terrified face
‘mama, they scared’
naoki commented, fiddling with iwa’s jacket zipper
‘its like y/n-chan and kyoken-chan switched personalities or something’
oikawa muttered, still looking wide-eyed at you
‘that’s it. kenta, hold my purse-!’
‘BABY, WHAT-!’
oh my god it was a sight to see
you have this <6 feet professional olympic volleyball player being hit by a pregnant short woman with her shoe and a bleach-blonde man trying to hold her hands so she alternated to kicking
‘y/n-chan! wait!’
‘nearly a decade later and 2 children later, y/n-chan still knows how to hit’
watari watched with a fond smile, reminiscing their old volleyball times
‘will y/n-chan be okay?’
yahaba worriedly asked but naomi gave him a smile that was a copy/paste of her father’s
‘no, uncle baba. its if kawa would be okay’
while everyone else laughed,
oikawa screamed
AND THATS A WRAP! if its not what you guys wanted, not gonna lie, i was even hesitant to write this part because as much as i love kyo, hes quite a hard character to understand and write for, but i didnt want him to be the typical brute caveman child, instead i wanted this to be like him showcasing that hes not just a screaming man but hes a scared boy whos awkward and doesnt know how to express himself. also, its not canon in the manga or the anime, but i put that he was in the foster system and they werent,,, nice,,,, so thats why he knew first aid bc he had to do it on himself and why he was so calm about her getting hurt and treating her. but thank you for reading this one and im about to write an iwa and an oikawa so expect that in the future!!!
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sowhen-blog · 7 years
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My last good day
April 17 2016 My 26th birthday. We drove around getting all my free birthday stuff. Just me and you. Since that day however you decided nothing you had was good enough. Not me, not the kids, not where we lived, not how we lived, not the money, not the love you were getting, nothing.
You solidified your discontent late august by allowing an old friend to become more than a client who needed help managing money. You decided in order for what you wanted out of life to happen youd have to do the only thing ive ever voiced that i didnt want. And with that decision you chose to ignore my feelings and force me to hide my pain from you in consideration of yours.
All my potential good days henceforth have been infiltrated and subsequently ruined, wrongly shared, and sacrificed.
Oct 19 2016 our anniversary. While you managed to acknowledge it with a bottle of liqour and a promise of a date later in the week since i had to work you left me early that evening to do things with or for her. The promose never got fulfilled because she neded more and more of you and i guess it slipped your mind or you simply didnt care anymore since shes here now in my living room
Oct 31 2016 hallowen. MY holiday. You decided we were going to go do it her way since her original plan of taking her brood to her friend house to go around there fell apart. I missed the walk that i wanted to do and you left us anyway to go home with her and her kids. Cause even though you were willing to walk with us all at the place she chose you weren’t willing to walk with me and your actual kids because it wouldn’t be fair to her kids that your mom didnt have anything special for them.
Thanksgiving 2016. You go to drop her off as it should be with her family but it doesnt work. You take her back to the house you sit outisde with her because shes sad instead of inside with your family. Which you also leave us to watch her kids cause you sent them inside without even asking if we felt like dealing with them which nobody wanted to. We all just wanted to see talk and chill with you.
Jan 5 2017 ayanna birthday party. This is something i was told i didnt initially observe myself buy i had to answer the questions about it all fucking night. Because at your actual daughters party you spent more time in the corner with her holding and playing with her baby than interacting with your visiting neice and your child. All the adults trying to figure out if you went and had a baby with her and didnt tell nobody. Or why she had to be there at all.
Jan 14 her birthday. You took me and the gitls to get groceries. Then got dressed up you almost wore a tie even. And left. You ignored my texts and calls for the rest of that night. You had recently given me pernission to ask what you had done claiming you had nothing to hide and she wasnt that important however my 2 questions pissed you off. You used my free ticket points i was saving to take her to the movies.
Feb 14 2017 a few days after she decides to show some love and celebrate valentines day for you even though we dont do that cause Its bullshit. Not only do you accept it you stay the night with her and make me late for work the next morning. And she got my gift for you before i could save the money to get it. This is how i learned what one person sees as disrespectful is not always the same to someone else.
March.. My miscarriage. You allowed me time away to cope and not have to see you be all bfgf with her while i needed you. All i wanted was for none of that gf shit to bother me while i dealt with my pain physically and emotionally. You decided to take her to work instead of letting her drive like the red truck is supposed to be for anyway. Which meant the gf shit was brought to my temporary safe place and added pain and hurt to my already sad days.
April 17 2017
My birthday. While we were running around getting my freebies and enjoying my bday she calls you cause of course today the truck gets mesed up. You tell her what to do and in thinkint we should be able to go on with the fun and festivities of my day. No no no. You have to pause my bday to actually go to her even though she was doing exactly what you told her to. Since we were no longer on the side of town where i wanted to have dinner you made a spectacle about me thinking in getting two parties and acted like you had no idea i said i wanted to do dinner on the day of and to the beach that weekend. So no i didnt get to go where i really wanted cause now you had the truck on your mind.
Part 2 friday
My kick back even though only one person showed up you were there. We were seemingly having fun but since she mesed up the truck you couldn’t let her keep driving. You left before cake to go take her to work. And you never even came back. My night and you left it to stay at her house since you would also have to go get her in the morning but you still didnt come back staying over there doing fake daddy shit all saturday with her and her kids. You didnt come back that night either. Not until it was time for me to go to work on Sunday morning. My bday party taken from me by you for her. May 28: a family day The day we went to kings dominion to get our season passes. Everything was fine and was doing good until she called for the thousandth time this time to tell you the lugnuts fell off the dodge truck you had let her use since she once again fucked up the red truck you got specifically so you wouldnt have to take her every fucking where. Somehow she finds ways for you to end up doing that anyway. Now youre pissed cause your truck is messed up so guess who has to hurry up and pick one last thing to do cause now we gotta go? Me and your actual kids. Another family day cut short because of her. There have been plenty not all specifically important outungs but damn isnt tine with yourreal fiamily inportant? This day was cause you told the girls we could watch the fireworks but because of her now we cant. You dropped us at home and made your way to her reacue…….again. And we didnt see you until the next night.
June 23: beach trip
Not us, no You took her to the beach. Just the two of you. No kids no other adults just you and your lady. Here’s the kicker though…. You told her on tuesday that you and her were having a beach trip friday. You didnt even call us all day to check on us like you usually do. Guess you dont care anymore or at least not when youre with her and her kids you don’t. And later you lied to me about planning it in advance.
That day broke me. It was the icing on this cake and it confused me like hell. But i broke all the way that day. Every day since that day has been a atruggle dor me to function. I dont know where i stand. I hear what you say but then i see what you do and the two don’t match up.
My days are not mine…
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hi i just wanted to talk
i dont really have any sort of direction or reason that i wanted to talk but its 9:30pm and im alone and im in a typey mood and i dont want to just watch more how i met your mother. (im on episode like 17 i was on like 2 this morning thats so embarrassing.) anyways. i should probably watch a disney movie to help fuel the reigniting fire inside of me, but idk it just hasnt happened yet. oh im waking up at like 6am tomorrow morning rip me amiright or amiright. obviously relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. theyre hard. honestly, i know that once one of radk starts dating someone im going to feel the need to be a know it all (WHICH IS SO ANNOYING SUCH A BIG FLAW I HAVE) and be like ok but dont believe all the sweet things they say because boys lie!!!!!!!!! which is true. lets be honest here they do. they say very very sweet things to win over your heart because they want you and they know that saying those things will make you swoon. and it sucks because it will work and youll believe what theyre saying, hell, they may believe what theyre saying at the time but surprise things change sometimes. and thats ok. the world is constantly changing. it jsut reallt really really really sucks when soemthing you thought could be a constant is not. FOR EXAMPLE:::::
1. “camille, listening to you is infinitely more important than this right now,”
which, in his defense, wasn’t a lie. he said right now. but thats not the point the point is that i could have sworn phil laplante would listen to everything. every complaint every hope every dream every belief everything. but we are about to hit 4 months (oh my gosh only 4 months) and i cannot tell you the last time i truly felt listened to by him. which hurts my heart does not hurt my heart as much as:
2. “i love you my dearest, kaibigan, unconditionally.”
i just literally dont believe you. i dont. and heres the thing. tears shed over phil suck/ed. ok. theuy stunk before im sure theyll stink in the future, and it hurts and it sucks but OH ME OH MY IT IS NOTHING. NOTHING IN COMPARISON. TO THE PAIN INFLICTED ON MY BY ONE OF THE LOVES OF MY LIFE. i feel like shes not even mine anymore. is this a dramatized version of camille speaking? probably, but she deserves to have a say too. and it sucks. so much. to feel like youre all alone because the one person you swore would love you no matter hwat you did or what you coujld do would still love you just kind of stops becasue she finds new firends to become obsessed with this sucks because i used to be that new friend. she used to be obsessed with me and thar hurts likea  mother tucker. i think ive developed shades of trust isseus. maybe. id ont really know i jus tknow that it sucks SO MUCH to think of my two favorite people on the planet both being uninterested in me wow that hurts a lot. and it makes me sad to think that i could be someones favorite person on the planet and i ditched them im sorry i dont wantt o make you feel that way but i feel as though i ahve and i am so sorry. THERE IS SO MUCH HURT IN THE WORLD AND THAT SUCKS ASS. A LOT. LIKE A LOT OF ASS. But there are also some beautiful things in the world. things like music. i love music. things like stories. stories are so fascinating. there is constantly something happening on earyh and there is a select few numbers of people who will experience it. 
im rediscovering myself. i lost her somewhere. somewhere in the mix of the kissing and the new bralettes and the frozen fruit snacks and the engieneers and the design projects i left her somewhere. shes out there. or maybe shes in here, tucked away behind a familiar smell. or maybe a new smell. i dont know what she likes. i dont know how to coax her out of me. shes made some appearances, for example when i was scrolling through instagram after that himym episode and it was earthyandy showing off some of her vegan ice cream with 10,000 emerald pools playing it jsut reminded me of humans existing and it was beautiful. and there are shades of her still in me writing this todaybut she doesnt overflow me anymore. which is ok. id rather have her be a little hidden than be garbanzo.
things that hurt:
thinking about the honeymoon phase.
and i know that this is like with God, am i in it for the reward or am i in it for Him? (ive come to discover im still very much in it for the reward i think. i am not the best. but im working on it. am ia ctually working on it. or do i just say that and ignore it. id ont know but i cant afford to put myself through the hurt of telling myself that im doing nothing.) 
but God, like actually God, I miss it.
i miss the romance. i miss feeling like i was floating, like the world was saturated, and my face was hot and things were sweaty in the best way. i miss feeling like i was flying, and like nothing had and ever would hurt me (sidenote, things did hurt.) i miss 
i miss still being pure
thats a rip
i am weak
but its in the past
i dont know if ive actually forgiven myself for that one yet
i feel less disgusting and more loveable than i did previously, which is good.
maybe im not ready fora  relationship.
but when will i be
i need to learn somehow
has phil been perfect?
no!
no he hasnt!!
today he told me “im going to stop replying for a while, dont get offended.”
which.
1. sucks. or well, is odd.
if he had opened and left me on read i wouldnt even flinch
if he just sent back a smiley face id be like lmao, probably send back a bitmoji
but he told me it was going to happen. which is just so weird.
2. i feel like im more offended that he told me to not get offended. dont tell me what to do. which, ok, i realize could be crazy, he jsut doesnt want to hurt my feelings but believe it or not phil its a little late for that its happened and im ok im fine ive forgiven it. i think. maybe. i just want to be there for you and with you and actually scratch that i want you to want me to be there for you and with you. i just dont feel very wanted by you sometimes which, weve discussed before i know that you know that youre not affectionate. or at least not when were in real life and not honeymooning (sidenote i feel like our honeymooning phase was shorter than others were and i find that unfair but whatever.) i signed up for htis. im consciously dating someone that is distant. am i okay with that? i dont want to jsut date boys to feel like im flying though i want us to 
i dont know
i was going to say be a team
but thats what phil says
and i dont want to let him pick these words for me
remember when i wrote that poem about chaos
and how i felt like i was in a storm and i dont know what to hold onto and i was like oh jk i want to hold onto you
yeah
me too
i think im there sitll
and like you said
the storm is inside your brain
and i want to be able to be the one to calm it
but maybe thats not my job
mabye thats a different persons job
maybe it is j=my job but its my job for later
maybe its your job
i dont know
but the idea of youd ating someone else really sucks
like a lot
liek a lot a lot
because i know
i know what the hunt is like now
i can imagine 
all of our friends
sitting somehwre, id ont know
and all the boys are checking out the hot girls around
and maybe im just old fashioned
maybe im still naive
maybe i am still just a noob
but that sucks so much
i dont want to be replaceable with a deli girl
or with ffg
not that theyre bad or anyhting but its the princile of it
that when im gone you jsut go back to sitting in the purple chairs at storms planning how to talk to the next girl
WOW THAT SUCKS
A LOT
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS FOR GIRLS
And mayb ethats the point
actually i tak that back
im sure thats how it isf or some girls
but phil im not just some girl
phil im the girl that made lauryn hurley feel loved
im the girl that helped bring radk together
im the girl that blew ms crsit away
im the girl that used to look down in the damn hallway but looked up because she liked a boy
i didnt look up because i wanted to see a hot rack with blue eyes and a nice ass
i looked up because i wanted to be noticed
and intriguing
and wanted
and i jsut dont really feel like any of those things by you sometimes
and that hurts a lot
what is the point of this
this just sounds like i dont want to date him anymore
but i do
do i or do i jsut not want change
i do
i think
id ont know
but camille
right now you get the best of both worlds
you get to date him
who is goofy
and smells really good
and is strong
and is hungry for God 
and is grateful
and is
well
i was going to say a good listener
sometimes
but there is so much space between you two becaues this is a time for you
no one but you, camille
you can grow
this is a summer of self improvement.
you lost yourself somewhere and tou dont need anyone to help you find her
thats a lie
who i am is reflected onto me by those around me
but still
i dont need him.
i dont want to need anyone yet
i am young
im still finding out what i want
im still discovering myself
dear God,
i cant do this without you
youre the only one who will love me and satisfy me
“the human world, it’s a mess”
youre right
but thats knida the point
we feel things
we hurt
we love
we lvie
we cry
we laugh
we do all these things
and feel what we think is great
but then when we get to feel you, oh lord, we are blown away.
you are so much greater 
and i am not worthy, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed
im sorry
im sorry for disappearing
and i honestly cant see myself running back soon
which sucks
and i dont know how to fix it
i think i hurt a lot
which is so backwards
but im doing what they say normal people do
am i normal though
no
i literally jsut said im not
God i need you
help me find you
i bet you know how to find me.
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