#I STARTED IN JULY AND TOOK LIKE ALL OF OCTOBER OFF

[vscabarca]

strangers again - pablo gavi

summary: gavi breaks the situationship off after realizing he fell in love with you.

genre: sad fluff? angst? but not really

———

July 23‘

pablo gavi. A charming, polite and good looking guy who had nothing else in his mind exept for football. That was until he had met you. A shy, yet outgoing girl with a good heart.

Fermin brought you once along to a party even though you weren’t very pleased with meeting his footballer friends. The stories he had told you were anything but comforting to you, their hookups didn’t interest you one bit. Yet, your mother urged you to go out, „meet new people in a new city“, as she called it. Moving to Barcelona was a big step, but something you‘ve always dreamed of doing when you finally turned nineteen.

There you were now, awkwardly standing in the kitchen of a stranger’s home next to Fermin, sipping on some alcoholic mixture he had made you.

Suddenly, a guy bumped into you and his drink spilled all over your shirt.

„Shit, I‘m so sorry.“ He apologized, already looking for some napkins to get you cleaned up.

Annoyed, you looked down onto your drenched shirt, already fed up with this stupid party.

„Here you go.“

It was then when you looked up, seeing chocolate brown eyes wander over the mess he‘d made.

He was a bit taller than you, brown hair slicked to the side and an awkward little smile plastered across his face.

„it’s alright. it will wash out, I hope.“ You grimaced. The white top had now an ugly brownish stain on it, so napkins wouldn’t help much.

„Wait I‘ll give you my hoodie.“

You wanted to decline his offer but he already pulled the sweater off.

„Thank you. I‘m Y/n by the way, Fermin’s cousin.“ You pulled the hoodie on, introducing yourself to the pretty boy opposite you.

„Pablo, nice to meet you.“

September 23‘

The last two months you’ve spent more and more time with Fermin and his friends, only for one reason. The Andalusian caught your eye since the party as you two hit it off that night.

Pablo and you became extremely close, so close that there had been a night where he’d kissed you. Since that evening, you couldn’t stop thinking about his lips and how his fingers left a hot trail behind where he had touched you.

Pablo looked for the stupidest excuses to be around you, was it tracing his fingers innocently on your waist while passing you or giving you a kiss on the cheek when he left.

October 23‘

It all happened very quickly. Pablo had brought you home from a dinner with his friends, but you invited him inside for a glass of water. He of course accepted, wanting to spend as much time with you as possible. Pablo was confused, he had never felt such things, especially not during the season. His whole focus was usually on football, but with you sitting on his lap that october night, it became rather difficult to think about other things.

One thing led to the other and you two were tangled in the white bedsheets, clothes littered around your bedroom floor, savoring the early morning hours together.

November 23‘

it was confusing to say the least. Pablo and you fooled around, hooked up but still acted like you two were in a relationship. It was nothing official, you never talked about what you two were.

But, you really started to develop feelings for the hot-headed midfielder. It didn’t make it any better that he bought you flowers, called you almost every day and took you out on romantic dates, ending them in the most pleasurable way.

All your friends knew about Pablo and were happy for you, yet didn’t understand why there was never a talk about a possible relationship. You were scared, scared it was nothing serious for him. Still, you just enjoyed the moment having Pablo by your side.

December 23‘

Pablo fell in love. Your laugh, your beautiful eyes, the light brown hair scattered across your face when you woke up next to him. You were his favorite person to go to if he was stressed about something, because as soon as he was in your arms, he felt at peace. It was like you had a magic spell on him.

But over the month of December something changed. Not his love for you, but his unsure feelings about the whole situationship.

Pablo never had a girlfriend, only quick flings. He felt like he knew nothing about how to treat a woman. You were such a special girl who deserved nothing but love and respect. Could he really give that to you? He felt like he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t treat you like you deserved to be treated. Pablo wouldn’t even be able to get to see you much because of his packed schedule. He wouldn’t be able to take you out to a restaurant in the middle of Barcelona without people bombarding you two. And, he wouldn’t be able to defend you from the hateful comments made about you on Social Media.

It all felt so difficult to handle, so a week before Christmas, he asked you to come over and talk.

„I can’t give you what deserve Y/n.“ He said with tears in his eyes. You didn’t understand what he was rambling about. It all was going so well, you already imagined a future with him.

Ironically enough, as you left his home it was pouring down. You couldn’t even tell if it were your tears or raindrops rolling down your face. Pablo wanted you to stay, at least wait until the rain was over, but you couldn’t handle seeing him.

He just ripped your heart out of your chest.

February 24‘

the last two months have been rough. As much as you loved Fermin, you couldn’t stand seeing him because you knew Pablo lingered around somewhere too. You didn’t talk with him since that night, but he tried to call you several times. You never picked up, your heart hurt enough by only seeing his name pop up on your phone screen.

Pablo on the other hand only wanted to hear your voice, to see how you‘ve been doing. But what could he expect? He broke your heart not too long ago.

April 24‘

April rolled around pretty quickly - Barcelona got warmer, the days became longer. You had moved on fairly well, only having nostalgic memories when thinking about Barça‘s number six. You didn’t hold any grudges against him, you somehow understood what he had said. Still, you strongly believed you two could have worked it out if you really wanted.

Fermin pleaded now for weeks for you to accompany him to Balde‘s birthday party, and to make him shut up, you decided to go with him.

A feeling of sadness spread through your body as you stood there, at the exact spot like nine months ago, holding your drink in one hand, occasionally taking sips from it.

Your eyes roamed around the room, trying to see if Pablo was lingering around somewhere. You didn’t find him at first, but he then emerged from the crowd. Your eyes met his and he abruptly stopped, eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. His surprised state quickly changed into somewhat calm, a genuine small smile made its way onto his face. You reincorporated the smile, then pushed yourself off the counter to head to the door. With a last glance back, you saw him standing there, his gaze never leaving you. But after all, you two were nothing more than strangers again.

#pablo gavi #gavi #pablo gavi x reader #gavi one shot #gavi x reader #football one shot #fc barcelona #barça #football x reader

[nasa]

NASA Photographers Share Their Favorite Photos of the SLS Moon Rocket

NASA’s Space Launch System (SLS) rocket is on the launch pad at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida and in final preparations for the Artemis I mission to the Moon. Now that our Moon rocket is almost ready for its debut flight, we wanted to take a look back at some of the most liked photographs of our SLS rocket coming together over the years.

We asked NASA photographers to share their favorite photos of the SLS rocket for Artemis I at different phases of testing, manufacturing, and assembly. Here are their stories behind the photos:

“On this day in March 2018, crews at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama, transported the intertank structural test article off NASA’s Pegasus barge to the Load Test Annex test facility for qualification testing.” —Emmett Given, photographer, NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center

“This is the liquid oxygen tank structural test article as it was moved from the Pegasus barge to the West Test Area at our Marshall Space Flight Center on July 9, 2019. The tank, which is structurally identical to its flight version, was subsequently placed in the test stand for structural testing several days later. I remember it being a blazing hot day!” —Fred Deaton, photographer, NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center

“The large components of the SLS rocket’s core stage can make you forget that there are many hands-on tasks required to assemble a rocket, too. During the mating of the liquid hydrogen tank to the forward section of the rocket’s 212-foot-tall core stage in May 2019, technicians fastened 360 bolts to the circumference of the rocket. Images like this remind me of all the small parts that have to be installed with care, expertise, and precision to create one huge Moon rocket. Getting in close to capture the teammates that work tirelessly to make Artemis a success is one of the best parts of my job.” —Eric Bordelon, photographer, NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility

“An incredible amount of precision goes into building a rocket, including making sure that each of our SLS rocket’s four RS-25 engines is aligned and integrated into the core stage correctly. In this image from October 2019, I attempted to illustrate the teamwork and communication happening as technicians at NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility in New Orleans do their part to help land the first woman and the first person of color on the Moon through the Artemis missions. It’s rare to see the inside of a rocket – not as much for the NASA and Boeing engineers who manufacture and assemble a rocket stage!” —Jared Lyons, photographer, NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility

“When the fully assembled and completed core stage left the Michoud factory in January 2020, employees took a “family photo” to mark the moment. Crews transported the flight hardware to NASA’s Pegasus barge on Jan. 8 in preparation for the core stage Green Run test series at NASA’s Stennis Space Center near Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. When I look at this photo, I am reminded of all of the hard work and countless hours the Michoud team put forth to build this next-generation Moon rocket. I am honored to be part of this family and to photograph historic moments like this for the Artemis program.” —Steven Seipel, MAF multimedia team lead, NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility

“This photo shows workers at Stennis prepare to lift the SLS core stage into the B-2 Test Stand for the SLS Green Run test series in the early morning hours of Jan. 22, 2020. I started shooting the lift operation around midnight. During a break in the action at about 5:30 a.m., I was driving my government vehicle to the SSC gas station to fuel up, when I saw the first light breaking in the East and knew it was going to be a nice sunrise. I turned around and hurried back to the test stand, sweating that I might run out of gas. Luckily, I didn’t run out and was lucky enough to catch a beautiful Mississippi sunrise in the background, too.” —Danny Nowlin, photographer, NASA’s Stennis Space Center

“I like the symmetry in the video as it pushes toward the launch vehicle stage adapter. Teams at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama, loaded the cone-shaped piece of flight hardware onto our Pegasus barge in July 2020 for delivery to NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The one-point perspective puts the launch vehicle stage adapter at the center of attention, but, if you pay attention to the edges, you can see people working. It gives a sense of scale. This was the first time I got to walk around Pegasus and meet the crew that transport the deep space rocket hardware, too.” —Sam Lott, videographer, SLS Program at Marshall Space Flight Center

“This was my first time photographing a test at our Stennis Space Center, and I wasn't sure what to expect. I have photographed big events like professional football games, but I wasn't prepared for the awesome power unleashed by the Space Launch System’s core stage and four RS-25 engines during the Green Run hot fire test. Watching the sound wave ripple across the tall grass toward us, feeling the shock wave of ignition throughout my whole body, seeing the smoke curling up into the blue sky with rainbows hanging from the plume; all of it was as unforgettable as watching a football player hoist a trophy into the air.” —Michael DeMocker, photographer, NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility

“When our SLS Moon rocket launches the agency’s Artemis I mission to the Moon, 10 CubeSats, or small satellites, are hitching a ride inside the rocket’s Orion stage adapter (OSA). BioSentinel is one of those CubeSats. BioSentinel’s microfluidics card, designed at NASA’s Ames Research Center in California’s Silicon Valley, will be used to study the impact of interplanetary space radiation on yeast. To me, this photo is a great combination of the scientific importance of Artemis I and the human touch of more than 100 engineers and scientists who have dedicated themselves to the mission over the years.” —Dominic Hart, photographer, NASA’s Ames Research Center

“I was in the employee viewing area at Kennedy when the integrated SLS rocket and Orion spacecraft was rolled out to the launchpad for its wet dress rehearsal in March 2022. I really like this photo because the sun is shining on Artemis I like a spotlight. The giant doors of the Vehicle Assembly Building are the red curtain that opened up the stage -- and the spotlight is striking the SLS because it’s the star of the show making its way to the launchpad. I remember thinking how cool that NASA Worm logo looked as well, so I wanted to capture that. It was so big that I had to turn my camera sideways because the lens I had wasn’t big enough to capture the whole thing.” —Brandon Hancock, videographer, SLS Program at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center

“I made this image while SLS and Orion atop the mobile launcher were nearing the end of their four-mile trek to the pad on crawler-transporter 2 ahead of launch. Small groups of employees were filtering in and out of the parking lot by the pad gate to take in the sight of the rocket’s arrival. The “We Are Going!” banner affixed to the gate in the foreground bears the handwritten names of agency employees and contractors who have worked to get the rocket and spacecraft ready for the Artemis I flight test. As we enter the final days before launch, I am proud to have made my small contribution to documenting the historic rollout for this launch to the Moon.” —Joel Kowsky, photographer, NASA Headquarters

More Photo-worthy Moments to Come!

NASA photographers will be on the ground covering the Artemis I launch. As they do, we’ll continue to share their photos on our official NASA channels.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

#NASA #Artemis #Moon #Space Launch System #rocket science #space #exploration #Moon 2024 #science #technology #tech #photography #photographers on Tumblr #original photographers

[billys-pretty-babe]

The Proposal

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary : Billy loves everything about you, besides one thing. Your last name, he's ready to replace it with Hargrove, he just needs to get you on board with it.

Warnings : Swearing, illuding smut at the end

Word count : 856

A/N : Dacre's engaged so Billy deserved to be engaged as well

October 1985

Billy laid beside you in his apartment in Anaheim. You had moved in over a month ago and he wouldn't have it any differently, he loved waking up next to you every morning and holding you as he slept, just to do it again the next day. Something has been irking Billy, the legal documents you sign, they always had your last name.

Sure, the two of you had only been together a mere ten months but in Billy's mind, the time didn't matter because he knew deep down that you were it for him. You read your book, eyes dancing across the page, brow furrowing slightly as you reread a paragraph. Now was as good of a time as any in Billy's eyes.

He leaned over to his bedside drawer, sliding it open as quietly as he could and he grabbed the black velvet box, prying it open quietly, the small ring staring back at him. He felt bad because he couldn't buy you a large diamond ring, instead he had to opt for a small diamond ring considering he used his entire salary from his lifeguard job in Hawkins. He studied the ring and he glanced at you, eyes still on your book. He was asking himself questions silently, trying to think of how to do it.

You flipped the page of the book before a weight had appeared on your breast. You expected to see your boyfriend's hand but instead it was a black box with a ring inside of it. Your heart rate quickened and you put the book down. "Will you marry me," you looked at Billy, a nervous smile on his face. You quickly nodded, your throat felt like it was constricted.

"Yeah?" You smiled, "Yeah." He took the book from your lap, gently putting it on the floor as he held you close, getting the ring out of the box and he slid it onto your finger. "I would've gotten you something bigger but that's all I could afford." You looked at him, "Billy, I didn't even need a ring. We could've gone to the courthouse and I still would be happy. Thank you, it's pretty." He smiled and leaned in, kissing you gently, completely different than the times he has kissed you, laying in this exact bed.

You both laid down and he held your hand, twisting the ring around. "Can you cry at the wedding?" He glanced at you, "No." You groaned and he laughed. "Please?" He shook his head, still laughing. "How long were you holding onto this for?" He hummed, "I've had it picked out since April, I started making payments in May and I finished paying it off at the end of July." You nodded.

"What kind of wedding band do you want?" He shrugged, "I don't know, something silver." You nodded, "Okay." You made a mental note. "Can I start driving your car now?" He shook his head, "You know, you have a lot of requests." You laughed, "And you're declining all of them." He looked at you, blue eyes trailing down to your bare legs considering it was too warm to wear much to bed, especially when you knew your boyfriend, now fiancé, would be taking everything off anyways.

"There's something I wouldn't decline." You grumbled, "I'm not having sex with you right now." He huffed playfully, "Why was that the first thought that came to your mind?" Your eyes lowered into a soft glare, "I dunno, maybe it's the fact that your eyes are boring a hole through my underwear." He mocked you, knocking his head into your ribs gently.

His left arm circled around you, pulling you close to his body. "So, when are the Hargrove babies coming?" He laughed, "As soon as you let me go in raw." You rolled your eyes, bringing your right hand up and messing with his hair. "Thank you," you said again. He raised a brow, "For the ring?" You shook your head, "For everything, all the love you show me, every single experience we've had together, choosing me, showing me a side of you that I didn't know existed." Billy smiled, "I should be the one thanking you, you didn't give up on me through the tough shit, you loved me at my worst." Your right hand lowered until it was on his cheek.

"I'll always love you through the shit you go through, I'm not gonna leave when it gets hard." He nodded, head moving a little as he kissed you again, his left hand pressing your back into him. "So, should we start on those babies?" You laughed against his lips, "Think you can keep up?" He laughed, moving so you were flush between the soft mattress and his warm body. "Me having to keep up with you? Oh baby, you're the one that struggles after two orgasms." You laughed as he bent down to kiss you again.

The night was filled with love, lust and everything in between. Sure, the two of you were young but you both knew one thing, that neither of you could live without each other.

Part 2

#billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things billy #william hargrove #billy hargrove x f!reader #billy hargrove x female reader #billy stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove

[siriuslydaz3d]

Home || Peter Quill

Summary: Peter goes home

Warnings: Uhh none, I think?

AN) this is a rewrite of something I did after Endgame! if you enjoy, please let me know! Also yes, there’s a reference to his bisexuality because fuck it, we need bi rep and so many people forget Peter Jason Quill is bisexual. 

Peter looked down at the stack of letters he had been writing for (Y/N). He felt nervous, guilty even for returning after all these years. He hadn’t purposely left, he was abducted. He isn’t even sure if she remembers him. Was it possible?

To (Y/N) August 1989

The oldest letter in the stack, written the year after he was taken. It explained what his life was like now. Telling her about his first year in space. Asking her what it was like in 4th grade. Apologizing for being gone. Promising to see her as soon as he could. An ‘I love you always’ sloppily written at the bottom as he rushed to finish it.

To (Y/N) October 1990

10 year old Peter wished her a happy halloween, asking her what’s popular on Earth. The ramblings of a child excited about being gifted his very own spaceship. He made it a point to tell her it was named after Alyssa Milano. He told her all about Yondu and the ravagers.

He wrote to her at least once a year. His handwriting slowly improved as he aged. He smiled down at the aged stacks of paper, thinking back fondly to his childhood. Peter shuffled through the letters, quickly glancing at the dates on each of them.

To (Y/N) May 2006

To (Y/N) July 2012

To (Y/N) August 2014

To (Y/N) November 2014

He paused on that one. November 2014. He wrote about his relationship with Gamora. He wrote about how he met his biological father, who just happened to be a planet. He wrote about the death of said father, and the death of the father that actually raised him. Yondu. 

To (Y/N) April 2023

The most recent one. He’d written it after they’d all returned. He wrote about the death of Gamora. He wrote about battling Thanos on Titan. He wrote about being back on Earth, about the massive battle in New York. He wrote about Tony Stark’s private funeral. He wrote about wanting to see her.

Peter organized the letters back in the original order. He’d asked Pepper for help, giving her what information he had on his childhood friend in hopes of tracking her down. Pepper had come through with plenty of information. (Y/N) actually lived in New York. She worked from home in IT. She was single. She had survived the blip. He was just down the street from her apartment, nerves taking over as he looked in the direction of her home. He took a deep breath, and continued down the street. Peter chewed on his lip as he knocked on her door. A faint ‘Just a minute!’ could be heard from the otherside, and at that moment, it took everything in him not to run away.

The door opened. “Hi, can I help you?” She spoke, his blood running cold and his throat felt tight. 

“You’re totally not going to believe this, but it’s me, (Y/N).” Peter rushed, causing her to raise her eyebrow. “I’m back. I-I’m Peter. Peter Quill from Missouri.” 

“This isn’t funny. I don’t know how you know about my connection to him-” She started, but Peter was quick to cut her off. 

“When you were in kindergarten, you got in trouble for having a pocket of worms. I got in trouble with you because I ate one of them in class. Nastiest taste in the world, but it amused you.” He chuckled, running his fingers over the envelopes. “If that didn’t convince you, I remember the huge crush you had on Mark Hamill after we watched Star Wars. I bullied you for ages about it.” 

“Peter..” She whispered, hand coming to cover her mouth. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at him. “It’s been 35 years, where the fuck have you been?” 

Peter stuck the worn pile of envelopes out in front of him. “Funny enough, these probably explain it better than I could. I wrote to you frequently. I’m gonna be completely honest, I wasn't even sure if I was ever coming back. I was convinced I was wasting time, but y’know all the funky shit that happened kinda forced me back.” 

(Y/N) took them and flicked through the pile. “I never stopped looking for you. When they said you disappeared, I went looking everywhere we’d gone. I thought you’d just run away, but rumors began that maybe you’d died and I just.. I knew you weren’t dead.” Her eyes met his face and she smiled. “I’ve missed you, dumbass.” 

Peter stepped forward, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they stood there in an embrace. “I’m sorry for leaving, and again, you won’t believe this but I’ve got a pretty insane reputation in space.” 

The woman pulled away and raised her eyebrow at him. “What? Peter.. You mean outer space right? Like up there?” She asked him, pointing up at the sky. He nodded, a childish grin plastered on his face. 

“Ask me about my reputation.” 

“I’m afraid to know.” She sighed. 

“C’mon.” He cooed, swaying them slightly. “You know you’re curious.” 

“What’s your reputation, Peter?” 

He looked down at her with his signature smirk. “On Terra, I’m just little old Peter Quill. A boring, apparently presumed dead, nobody. In space, I’m the legendary outlaw turned hero of the galaxy known as Star-Lord, lover to all.” He winked, making (Y/N) roll her eyes. 

“Lover to all, huh? How many alien STDs do you have?” She laughed as he groaned. “Do aliens have STDs?” 

“I don’t have any that I know of, and I’m assuming they do. I don’t just go around asking aliens if they do or not!” He replied, as his childhood friend doubled over with laughter. “I missed hearing you laugh.” 

“I missed you, Peter. It’s nice to have you back, even if it’s temporary.” She huffed, looking up at him. “I don’t know how long you’re staying, if you are, but would you like to have dinner with me? I want a chance to properly catch up with you.” 

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

“Never in a million years, space boy.” She spoke, stepping aside and motioning him in. “C’mon, I make a mean ass pot of chili and I’m assuming you haven’t had any in ages.” 

Peter happily stepped inside, shrugging off his coat and tossing in on the closest chair. He looked around her apartment, the walls covered with photos from her life and movie posters he didn’t recognize. A photo of him and her on Halloween hung beside a framed drawing he’d made for her back before he was abducted. 

“Hey, (YN), what the hell is Revenge of the Sith? And why do you have a big ass poster of it?” 

#peter quill x reader #peter quill #star lord x reader #mcu x reader #mcu fanfic #x reader #platonic!peter quill x reader

[miastideclock]

a year with bang chan, "may 30th."

word count: 1057 warnings: not edited, cursing notes: not sure that i love how this turned out, but we're getting there

january 2nd ⁺₊ february 14th ⁺₊ march 2nd ⁺₊ april 17th ⁺₊ may 30th ⁺₊ june 4th ⁺₊ july 14th ⁺₊ august 1st ⁺₊ september 12th ⁺₊ october 3rd ⁺₊ november 1st ⁺₊ december 31st

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

int. kitchen. late evening.

you found yourself standing in the kitchen, watching the glass in your hand slowly fill up, your other hand on the handle of the tap, ready to shut it off when you had acquired your desired amount of water. once the water reached a specific level, you cut the tap, letting silence wash over the room. you were home alone, so not a single sound could be heard.

the ticking of the clock seemed to be gone, as was the humming of the electricity in your appliances. the street outside had apparently been abandoned as there wasn’t as much as a cyclist rushing by. the silence left you with your thoughts, which recently hadn’t been the warmest.

you’d felt shitty all week, and you couldn’t seem to properly figure out why - not until now at least. you missed your boyfriend. the two of you hadn’t had time to yourself in weeks, and you had a theory that it took a toll on you.

the jingling of keys broke you out of thought, and you finally raised your glass to your lips to take a sip as you turned around, waiting for the love of your life to enter.

“hey bubba.” you greeted as he shuffled into the kitchen, a smile on his face as he saw you.

“hello, my love.” he replied as he placed his bag down on one of the kitchen chairs, then stepped over to you to give you a hug. you copied his actions by placing your glass down and meeting him in the middle, wrapping your arms around his neck as his snaked their way around your waist.

“how was your day?” you asked after you had properly greeted him with a kiss.

“hectic to say the least, but progress was definitely made, so i’m happy about it. how about yours? how’ve you been today?” he reciprocated your kiss and pulled away as he returned your question back to you. he made his way over to his bag and started roaming through it, presumably looking for his phone.

“actually..” you trailed off, instantly sending a signal to chan that what you were about to say wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as he had been. his attention turned to you within a millisecond, a slight frown on his face. ”oh, no don’t worry! it’s not something bad!” you quickly assured him, even though you weren’t sure if you were being a hundred percent truthful. his frown fluttered away, leaving him neutral and in anticipation of what you were to say next.

“i just,” you started, tilting your head slightly as you looked at him. “i’ve had this icky feeling lately, and i honestly think it’s because i miss you. we haven’t had time just to ourselves in a while.” you smiled almost sadly.

chan’s expression soon changed into one you didn’t expect; confusion. “what do you mean? we just had that date at the zoo?” he spoke, returning a portion of his focus back to his bag as he kept looking through it for something.

“chan, babe, that was well over six or seven weeks ago. and i know i’m being unfair, because it sounds like i’m trying to put the blame on you, when i am equally at fau-” you cut yourself off when you grew frustrated with your partner. “will you look at me when i’m talking to you?” your tone wasn’t angry or annoyed, but rather desperate as you begged him to pay attention to you.

your words seemed to work as he soon pushed his bag away, turning so he was fully facing you as you hopped up onto the counter, your palms placed securely against the edge of it.

“yeah, sorry.” he started, shaking his head gently as he too understood that it was rude of him to not be fully in the conversation when you were expressing your feelings. “i hear you, but you know just as well as me that we don’t have all that much spare time anymore.” he trailed off as he looked at you apologetically.

“i know, but i could take a day off work, you could do the same! and then we can-” you were yet again cut off, but this time it wasn’t by yourself. chan scoffed at your statement, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. “what was that about?”

he sighed before he spoke up, giving you the impression that he would rather be anywhere but having this conversation. “i can’t just take time off work like you can. not just anyone can cover for me.” he said, leaning back on the kitchen table behind him, his arms crossed loosely across his chest. you were quick to conceal the grimace you struck on instinct, but not quick enough for chan not to notice your furrowed brows and pained expression. his only reaction was to lift a brow to question you.

“yeah, i know our jobs aren’t on the same level at all, that is not what i’m trying to say, but there is no reason to be so condescending about it. just because there is someone else out there that does the same thing i do, doesn’t make it less important.” you spoke, your arms soon finding their way over your chest to mimic chan’s stance, but yours was in a more defensive manner than he found himself in.

“see, this is why i didn’t want to say anything! you always get so damn defensive, and i feel like i have to walk on eggshells around you. it’s annoying as hell.” he let out a small groan, and you swear to someone you saw him roll his eyes.

you found your lips parting slightly as your jaw went slack. you had never seen him like this before. you had seen him get upset and downright angry, but this bitchy attitude was new.

“you know what? forget i said anything.” it was your turn to scoff as you pushed yourself off the counter, your bare feet landing safely on the kitchen floor. without as much as a word, you left for your shared bedroom to be alone.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids one shots #stray kids requests #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #bang chan #dating bang chan #what it would be like to date bang chan #stray kids bang chan #stray kids chan #skz bang chan #bang chan drabbles #bang chan imagines #a year with bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #chris bang

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

#dark lord saltine #ik this is a massive overshare but fuck it #lifes been fucking hard lol #i have legit been saying ''everything happens so much'' since this all kicked off lmao #its sort of the family motto at this point

[thislovintime]

Photo by Matthew Asner:

“First day of school in 9th grade. I am nervous as hell because it is my first day of high school and it’s all new. I walk into my Social Studies Class and am greeted by the teacher who just happens to be Peter Tork of The Monkees. A guy I watched goofing around on TV religiously as a child was teaching me about the world. He was a tough teacher. We had a thing in his class where he would always think that I wasn’t paying attention. He would always make a point of stopping what he was teaching and say to me, ‘What did I just say`’ I would always answer him correctly and it always seemed to frustrate him. He was very smart and loved to read from Mao’s Little Red Book. I was truly happy for him when The Monkees started touring and he found success again. I took this picture in our schoolyard at New Dimensions High School.” - Matthew Asner (Ed Asner’s son), Facebook, July 1, 2023

“Since September he has been teaching English, math, drama, Eastern philosophy and ‘Rock Band Class’ at Pacific Hills, a private secondary school in Santa Monica, Calif. A college dropout, Peter got the job on the strength of his interview with Dr. Penrod Moss, the school’s director. ‘I like to hire people who are independent and creative,’ Moss said. ‘I was impressed by his personality and his ability to speak.’ […] While Tork the musician still has dreams of one day returning to the rock circuit, Thorkelson the teacher is happily planning his next course, ‘Mao, Marx and Mama.’ ‘I’m doing something important,’ he says. ‘I never do anything less than important.’” - People magazine, April 5, 1976

“For some time, [Tork] said, the students in his high school classes had trouble forgetting their teacher was once a teen idol. ‘Until I gave out a few F’s,’ he added, grinning.” - The Clarion Ledger, November 1, 1979 (x)

“I was a schoolteacher in Southern California, and I taught music as well as academics, and I really very much love to teach, and, and I think that if circumstances show me that I am not to entertain anymore or my entertaining career per se winds down, I would very, very much love to coach young entertainers.” - Peter Tork, Headquarters radio, September 1989

“[A]s a teacher, I realized that in order to teach something well you need to understand what your student is going through as they try to learn.” - Peter Tork, The Journal Times Online, August 12, 2005

On a 2018 blog post at the Monkees Live Almanac, one former student, Mark, commented: “Best high school teacher I ever had […]. Tremendous empathy.” (x)

“I taught English and social studies. And sure, the kids probably saw me as a Monkee, but they got over that in a hurry. Once I lost my temper at the kids, they’d see I was just like all the others — and I probably lost my temper too many times, since I was in an angry state back then. I have a life now, that’s the difference. I have a spiritual core. I’m not Shirley MacLaine but I believe in greater or lesser worlds and consciousness. Most people think of themselves as cut off from each other; others know there’s a connectedness that can be tapped into.” - Peter Tork, The Boston Globe, August 10, 1989

“In the mid-’70s, Tork got jobs teaching English, social studies and music at two private schools in the Los Angeles area. The first job, which he enjoyed, was at ‘a radical progressive school in Santa Monica.’ The second was at a school he describes as ‘a holding tank for budding fascists. I couldn’t hack it. I found more integrity in being a singing waiter’ — his next job.” - Los Angeles Times, October 20, 1992 (x)

More about that next job here.

#Peter Tork #Tork quotes #Tork teaching #70s Tork #<3 #long read #Matthew Asner #1975 #1976 #1977 #1978 #1979 #also always so much respect for Peter's unflinching honesty in interviews #this photo... thank you Matthew Asner thank you #The Clarion Ledger #Los Angeles Times #the boston globe #Headquarters Radio #can you queue it

[raytorosaurus]

can you pls explain to me what happened on tbp tour? i know the recording was bleak with the haunted manor and all that, but i keep hearing little things about the tour and i can't seem to find any information on google?? like some ppl on here have mentioned some things about frank's health and that he was on pills so idk if it was a drug issue or a chronic illness thing?? i think g and mikey suffered a lot of mental health stuff?? just please gimme the run down?! i love u

okay so this might get a little long so i’m putting it under a cut but basically in summary: they are insane. they’d already put themselves through a lot of emotional pressure writing the album in a haunted mansion where their producer was encouraging psychological warfare among them, and then they threw themselves into a LONG and gruelling tour and honestly made it as difficult for themselves as possible every step of the way. they were dealing with mental and physical illness and they pushed way past the point of exhaustion. they were reaching major life milestones (all of them got engaged at least once, three of them got married) but spending entire years away from home. they became the face of a subculture they didn’t particularly feel like they had anything in common with, and then they got some really bad press that was extremely demoralising because it wasn’t about the music, it was about the actual message of the band, which had been twisted and misinterpreted.

but if you want more detail (cw for sh & sui ments):

so the page for this tour got taken down from wikipedia for some reason but it’s archived here and it’ll give you an impression of just how huge this tour was.  legs kept getting added on to the tour because they thought this was the band’s, like, one big chance to take over the world so they didn’t want to say no to anything because they thought that’s what the album deserved. at the start of it they effectively played two sets a night - the black parade front to back and then some revenge and bullets songs as an extended encore. they did it all in thick, non-breathable wool jackets and trousers, and they did it six nights a week with almost no breaks - basically the only breaks they did get were when they were travelling between continents lol. the wiki page i linked lists the dates of the tour proper, but they were also playing album launch shows in multiple countries in the months before it fully kicked off. the spot that looks like they had a nice long break between july and october was actually almost fully taken up by pro rev LOL.

gerard and ray were actually the only members who made it through the full tour. cortez filled in for both mikey and frank at different times. mikey left fairly early - in april 2007, after getting married to alicia backstage after their show in vegas in march. he left for a honeymoon and didn’t come back until september for the final couple shows of pro rev. he also opened up a bit about how hard 2006 had been on his mental health while they were writing the album, so the break was much-needed. frank left a couple of times for shorter stretches, once because of an illness in his family and once because he had a wisdom tooth complication and couldn’t fly to australia. also, yeah, the constant touring took a toll on his physical health at times and he wouldn’t take breaks when he needed them - i’m sure you’ve seen the pictures of him onstage attached to an oxygen tank. bob was recovering from third-degree burns at first and then had persistent issues with chronic pain in his wrist and had to take a couple of months off playing or risk permanently disabling himself, and for at least most of those dates he was replaced by tucker from thursday. beyond that they did have to cancel several dates in may 2007 because everyone except frank and gerard (including most of their crew and the band muse) got terrible food poisoning from some catering chicken (frank escaped because he’s vegan and gerard because he slept through catering that day lol).

projekt revolution saw the band, like...really fucking exhausted. at that point they’d started getting kind of sick of playing the characters of the black parade. ray in particular talked about feeling disconnected from their audiences because of the uniforms and burned out by the repetition (this article’s pretty interesting because ray doesn’t talk about that aspect of the band very often in public). so for the festival shows they gave up playing parade in full and doing two sets every night for a bit, but now they were playing in extreme heat with a shit tonne of pyrotechnics lol. pro rev was meant to be the end of the tour, but they added a couple of extra shows in mexico to ritualistically kill off the black parade because i would expect no less from this band (that was october 7 2007, which is when the black parade is dead was filmed). and then they added another leg, and another...and they essentially ended up doing what basically amounted to a second full world tour without ever stopping the first one lol. it wasn’t only long but also so over-the-top in terms of theatrics and staging that they barely even broke even financially at the end of it. which is like. crazy. they had five full buses of stage equipment and a sound and lighting system that took five hours to set up and three hours to dismantle every night.

so if you’ve watched the infamous reading & leeds show you’ll recognise the “fuck the daily mail” thing, which is because after tbp came out they published satanic-panic-lite type articles calling mcr a suicide cult that promoted self-harm and stuff. you gotta understand that the emo subculture, whether or not it was connected to mcr, was one of the biggest laughing stocks of the noughties. notably, there were a series of riots and hate-crimes in mexico against “emo” kids (largely due to in actuality to homophobia, of course), and mcr would get asked about it so often that they felt like they were being blamed for it and that they needed to apologise for it. gerard in particular has spoken quite a bit about how much he struggled with feeling like tbp was being misinterpreted and taken out of context when it was such a deeply personal album to him. then things got even worse in may 2008, around the end of the tour, when the daily mail reported on the “emo cult” again, this time explicitly linking the tragic suicide of a 13-year-old girl to mcr. obviously this is, like, the antithesis of everything the band stood for, and they took it really hard. it spiralled even further, with gerard making a public statement about it, fans protesting at the daily mail offices, an inquest into the tragic suicide, and the daily mail doubling down and claiming that mcr should be grateful for the extra “publicity” they were getting from all of this. yeah. there’s a long section detailing all of this in not the life it seems, if you can stomach reading it.

the peak of this kind of aligns with the actual end of the black parade world tour in may 2008 in madison square garden. this is another one of those infamous shows - again, there’s an entire section in not the life it seems dedicated to it. it was a dream come true to play msg, especially for gerard and mikey, but they were completely burned out by that point. apparently the show itself was great and they were full of energy, but gerard was speaking to the crowd like the band was about to break up, and apparently the vibes were not great backstage. frank was so nervous about the show that he took a bunch of pills to get through it and has almost no memory of it. after they left the stage, ray found gerard in a dressing room and advised him to take a break or start another band that nobody knew about so it wouldn’t be the end of mcr for good. apparently gerard wrote boy division in the taxi on the way home after that gig but i can’t remember where i read that now so i might be wrong about that bit.

anyway, then none of them really saw each other for several months. frank started leathermouth because he can’t live without touring (ray played with them once too), but besides that the first time they were together again was for ray’s wedding later that summer. according to himself, brian schechter (their manger up until then) was fired over phone the morning after someone’s wedding so i have to assume it was ray’s given the timing lol (unless it was when gerard and lynz had a little ceremony or whatever, idk when that was).

anyway happy ending at least: they got back in the studio in october 2008 in new york to record desolation row for the watchmen movie and had such an amazing time that ray flew down to la (where gerard had recently moved) and he, gerard, and bob jammed around and wrote four new songs in no time. over the next year or two, the rest of mcr followed gerard to la one by one and started working on conventional weapons and they swore it would be a fun album to write and that they wouldn’t put themselves through the black parade recording process again. anyway then they scrapped it last minute to write danger days instead lol.

but yeah like. i think it’s easy to forget now in 2022 just how huge mcr was during parade era, but how they got completely misinterpreted in bad faith by, like, the media and culture as a whole. it’s probably fairly common for bands like them to be kind of misunderstood in their lifetimes but hailed as visionaries years or decades later, so it’s kind of like really fucking exciting to see mcr actually active again during the time when i feel like they’re finally started to get appreciated for what they really are. which is the greatest band in the world if you ask me but i guess i am a little bit biased <3

#spoilers: it did get a little long #most of this information is a summary of the relevant chapters in not the life it seems btw #hope you see this anon! sorry i know you sent the ask a couple of days ago #answered #mcr history #*

[muddyorbsblr]

man of the month part 2: january

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: You, Sam, and Tony plan who's assigned to which month; Tony has a talk with the models about you; during Tony's shoot he gives you a heads up on what's in store for you with some of the models

Pairing: Loki x Reader (eventually)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: a handful of cuss words; otherwise, none [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: idiots in love; mutual pining; brief mentions of being half-naked

"We should decide who goes where," Stark said as he wrote down "January" next to his name and "July" next to Rogers'. "Everyone in favor of Barton going on February? Because you know, Cupid, arrows, all that?" 

"I love it," you spoke up, sitting back down on your seat, showing the slightest signs of tiredness but still visibly undeterred. "How about Wilson in August? Right after Cap?" 

"Eyy let's go!" Wilson singsonged. "I like the way you think, Tweety. Now Thunder here looks like a summer month, so let's go with June. And Ten Rings over here looks a bit like Spring to me, so I'm going April." 

"Can I have May, please?" Lang spoke up. 

"Of course you can, Scott. Since you asked so nicely," you answered him with a sweet smile. "Hey Rhodey, you feel like taking March?" 

"Whichever gets my shoot done as soon as possible," he droned, evidently quite disinterested in this entire affair. 

"Sweet. Ooh, we could put Loki in December," you said with a small wave of your hand Stark's way.

"Ah, because of Rudolph. Reindeer Games. I love the way your brain works, Tweety," Stark said as he put "December" next to the god's name.

You barely reacted to the quip as you visibly pondered over the remaining names and months, simply responding, "No it's because his birthday's in December." Your words made Stark and Wilson turn their gazes towards you, and caused Loki's heart to skip a good few beats. Very few people knew when his day was, despite Thor's insistence over the last few years to celebrate it. 

And yet here you were declaring it as if you viewed it as common knowledge.

When several moments passed with no one saying a word, you looked around, quite visibly confused as you realized that there were currently several sets of eyes on you. "What?" 

"Nothing, Tweety. Nothing at all," Stark answered you with a smirk. "All we have now are September to November. Strange, Banner, Barnes. You wanna talk among yourselves who gets what or you want Y/N to decide for you?" 

"I'll take September, if it's okay with you all," Banner offered. The three of you nodded and "September" was placed next to Banner's name.

"Should we coin toss on Stephen and Bucky?" Something about how the metal-armed soldier smiled when you said his name made Loki's blood boil. He knew that the super soldier, both super soldiers actually, harbored feelings towards you, and something he quite envied about Barnes was that he was unashamedly outspoken about it. 

"Fine with me, doll," Barnes answered you. He took a coin and tossed it in the air. "Heads I get October, tails it's Strange's." He caught the coin before it landed with a sharp sound on the table, and looked at the results in his palm. "Heads. Shall we do a Halloween shoot, Scopes?" 

"Nah. Too cheesy. We'll have some stuff set up by the time the shoots start, so we could figure it out then, okay?" You gave him a smile as you ended your response to him, causing a dull ache to start in the god's heart once again. How he wished you could be that casual with him. Yearned for it, even.

"Okay so that's everyone planned out for their page on the calendar. Tweety, you're good for the day. Go back to sleep, you can start planning later. Models, stay, I have something to discuss with you all before I dismiss you, too." You promptly stood up, gathered your things in your arms and walked towards the door. Loki pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and moved quickly to open the door for you.

"Thanks, Mischief," you said softly as you looked up at him for the briefest moment before once again fixing your gaze upon the ground and scurrying out of the room. You're welcome, darling, he thought to himself as he let go of the handle. 

Once only the twelve men who would be modeling for this date keeper remained, Stark spoke up. "I'll make this quick. I know that Tweety has the hots for one of you, I just don't know which one. All I know is that she started having that glazed over look in her eyes once we had all the names written down before we called you all in. I'm telling you this because I know that some of you have a boner for her." He glared at the super soldiers specifically after this line.

"Hold on, Stark, so you're saying that she reciprocates the feelings of…someone in this room?" Rogers inquired, making a roundabout motion with this hand. 

"That's what I'm saying, Capsicle. Unless of course she has feelings for someone in this room that isn't interested in her. Now that'd be a damn shame. Anyway, all this to say I'm going to be a complete devil's advocate here and encourage you to use your time with her at your respective shoots wisely. Respectfully, too, don't you fuckers forget that. But test the waters. Flirt. Try to impress her. Maybe if you're even feeling brave, ask her out, see what she'd say. If it's you, tell the rest of the guys who haven't had their turn yet so that they don't have to hold out hope. If it's not you, tell the rest of the guys that, too." 

Loki tried to keep his expression stoic as he took note of those who were visibly excited over the notion that perhaps you reciprocated their feelings. Rogers and Barnes were the givens, and then there was the newcomer, Xi. What surprised him was the wistful, almost confident smirk from Strange; he hadn't even been aware that the sorcerer was interested in you. 

But what made a pit settle heavy in his stomach was the sight of a fond smile on his own brother's face. He could feel the white hot needles of betrayal piercing into his thoughts. He would have surmised that his brother knew of his affections towards you and wouldn't attempt to pursue you. He'd been mistaken. 

It took a few weeks and a considerable amount of elbow grease to get everything together, with decorating the studio with the various sets for the shoot being the most time consuming of it all, but the stage was officially set to start shooting for the calendar. 

There might have also been various mini photoshoots with Natasha and Wanda in the name of test shots and practice throughout those few weeks, but you all swore that you would simply say that it was part of the setup process, which was technically the truth.

Now you were situated in front of an iMac that was purposed solely for the production of this calendar, the layout, the photo editing software to work on coloring, the vast array of fonts to choose from for the date numbers…there was just so much to work on other than just simply taking the pictures and slapping them on to a blank 2023 calendar. 

Top that all off with you deciding that you wanted the month names to have a more personal touch, so you volunteered yourself to do the lettering, and you felt completely swamped, and you hadn't even taken a single picture yet. Well, until today, at least. Because today would be the first of the twelve shoots. January's. Tony's.

"You ready for me, Tweety?" you heard him call from the door. You made quick work to plug the memory card into the camera and made your way to the set with only a black backdrop placed.

"Ready when you are, boss," you hollered from your spot. 

Tony walked in with slacks and dress shoes, opting to start the shoot with his shirt shed already, donning a necklace that held a pendant that almost resembled the arc reactor that had kept him alive for so many years. The very thing that started all this. "This is as naked as I wanna be. Both for this shoot and around you." 

"You know what, Stark, I wanna say something about leading by example, but that's about as naked as I can take when it comes to you," you quipped, taking a few test shots. "Could you look a little over to your right? Don't move your whole body, just your head, and look like you're trying to figure out some algorithm that's stumping you." 

Once he followed  your instructions, you took a few more shots, confident that one of those was the shot you would eventually choose for his page. 

"Y/N I gotta tell you something. I may have told the guys that you have feelings for one of them," he said in a rush.

You lowered the camera from your face, suddenly feeling your entire body go cold. "You what?" you hissed at him in disbelief. "Tony why would you do that? How did you even know that I--"

"You looked at the list of names with a eyes of a schoolgirl having her first crush, I figured it out pretty quickly, Tweety," he answered your unfinished question. "As for why? Because not everyone's built to be alone. You're not, and you shouldn't be. I already know that some of them want you, so your time with them is their chance to, you know, get to know you a little more. So just be ready for some of these shoots to run a little longer since…they're gonna try and treat their time with you like a test date." 

"Am I gonna regret agreeing to helping you with this calendar, Tony?" 

"Absolutely not. I'm just trying to tell you that you don't have to be alone. There's literally a handful of guys in this very tower that want to be the man that gets to keep you company. Go on dates with you. Share your bed, even." You looked at him pointedly, causing him to put his hands up and jokingly say, "Don't worry though I'm not one of them, fuck that. No offense, you're gorgeous, but--no. You're like the older sister Morgan wishes she has, Y/N. You're like my kid." 

That caused you to let out a laugh that rang through the entire studio, infectious enough that Tony joined in. You decided that a candid shot of him laughing would make a great outtake, so you snapped a quick picture. 

"And what if the guy I'm interested in…doesn't treat our shoot like a test date?" you asked him,  your tone suddenly becoming more serious. "What if he just wants his shoot to be over and done with?"

"Y/N you have nothing to worry about unless your guy's Barton, Rhodey, or Banner. That's all I'm gonna say on that. And if I'm wrong? You have full permission to wear one of my suits and beat the shit out of me. I told you, you're like my kid. I just want you to be happy, and if I can help in any way, of course I'm gonna do it." 

You set your camera down and walked over to him to give him a hug. "Thanks, Tony," you said softly. You pulled away quickly and plugged the memory card into the computer. "You'll never get me to call you Daddy, though. Keep dreaming, Stark," you quipped as the images loaded up to your screen. "Now come over here and tell me which shots you like from these." 

He made quick work of choosing his favorite pictures from the batch, your hunch being right that the shot was among those first ones you took. "Now that my part's finished, you still have Barton's and Rhodey's shoots to ready yourself. We already know it's neither of them, and they're not into you, either. Barton's got  his family and Rhodey's in line for the world record of biggest long distance relationship with that thing he's got going on with Danvers." 

"So you know which ones are gonna try?" 

"I have a feeling I know." He clapped a hand on your shoulder. "The gun show starts with Ten Rings. Good luck, Tweety." 

With that, he left you to work on the coloring for his shot, completing his page. All the while, you'd resigned yourself to this whole "impressing you" thing amongst the guys to ultimately be a practice in futility if you actually held out hope that you would discover that your feelings were reciprocated.

After all, what were the chances that a literal god like Loki would ever even consider being with a human like you? 

A/N: Wait hold up the gun show starts with who?? Tony?? 👀😳

Now would be a good time to tell you that each part up until part 11 "december" will have the corresponding calendar photos as the post media. And by the time this story is finished, you'll all have a 2023 calendar courtesy of me and @mochie85 😄

Taglist:

Everything: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfiction #loki laufeyson fanfic #muddyorbs writes #mochie85

[wen-kexing-apologist]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, thank you! this was a fun review and I was interested to see how many times my favorite post and the most popular post coincided (or didn't)

January

I wasn’t writing meta

February

Most popular: Heart’s Confrontation- the scene breakdown that started it all!

Favorite(s): Heart’s Confrontation, Moonlight Chicken Sign Language Index- I really had a lot of fun figuring out the similarities and differences in American Sign Language and Modern Thai Sign Language!

March

Most popular: Best Criers in Moonlight Chicken- it's funny, short, and sweet

Favorite(s): Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers, Isn’t it Difficult to be Born Poor?- I loved writing these so much!

April

Most popular: A plea for Akk to have unrestrained summer fun

Favorite(s): Bed Friend and Reflections Part 3; Songkran, Water, and KingUea- Not to sound egotistical or anything, but I was really proud of myself for the conclusions I came up with in both of these pieces

May

Most popular: Silence- I think this was one of the only things I wrote in May

Favorite(s): Silence- THE ACTING IS JUST SO GOOD OKAY?

June

Most popular: By/For/About Queers Part 1 and Part 2- these only have the most notes because this was originally a post from @absolutebl that I added thoughts to, so most of those notes are from them

Favorite(s): Phupa and internalized homophobia Part 1 and Part 2- it was really fun getting to unpack my past assumptions about Phupa and work through those until I came out the other side with a new blorbo.

July

Most popular:  Lack of Touch in BMF

Favorite(s): Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity; Trans Allegory in Cupid’s Last Wish; Body Language in La Pluie, Episode 12- I especially liked Rain and Reciprocity because I think it has really shaped how I watch shows since then because I want to see if my theory holds.

August

Most popular: Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture

Favorite(s): Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture, Pause for Reflection, Part 1: Respectable Promiscuity and Only Friends- listen, I was going to write boring, academic, cited work about sex/porn as a joke, okay? I didn't expect people to actually engage with them as excitedly as they did!

September

Most popular: A Must Read- I give all credit for the success of this post to the Teen Vogue author who wrote the article and to @waitmyturtles who sent this link to me

Favorite(s): Pause for Reflection, Part 2: Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians; Poor Boy; Who is Mew Anyway?- Honestly, I had a wonderful time writing all the essays for Only Friends

October

Most popular: Best Scene in Only Friends and Why it was Sand and Nick Kissing

Favorite(s): Let’s Talk About Sex!, Why I Like BL, Physicality of Characters- the sex essay for my 69th essay was fun, and hilariously appropriate because I had recently answered the physicality question and could use it as an example

November

Most popular: Physical Touch and Hands in Last Twilight- It made me feel so warm and fuzzy that people would notice I wasn't posting about this show and want to hear from me <3

Favorite(s): IS BROTHER ANURAK THE ONE ARMED MAN?- I will never reach a higher high than when my obsession with hands finally paid off and I figured this shit out a month in advance of Part 2, I'm a motherfucking genius

December 

Most popular: Hands Touching Hands- I love throwing in complete key smash type of analysis from time to time as a treat cause I keep forcing people to read literal long-form essays all the fucking time (sorry, not sorry)

Favorite(s): Top 5 Favorite Food Moments, Best of QL 2023: Favorite Lines, Best of QL pre-2023: Favorite Lines- I love when I can cause people emotional pain, and all of these not only stabbed me in the heart but took a couple of people down with me as far as I can tell from the tags.

__

It's wild to have done this, because I haven't really been keeping an eye on my stats until now. I've made almost 400 original posts this year, and increased my notes by 25,000 annually looking at 2023 compared to 2022. I have been a lonely little tumblr goblin since 2012. I came on here to read other people's smart thoughts about things I was watching and to reblog gifs, and I never really thought building community here was possible, but here I am 11 months after making my first BL analysis post with a bunch of friends I didn't know a year ago, and about 20 more lenses through which I watch my silly little gay shows.

tagging: @bengiyo, @ranchthoughts, and @rocketturtle4

#tag game #2023 summary #moonlight chicken #ofts #be my favorite the series #mlc #la pluie the series #os2 x bbs x atots #a tale of thousand stars #atots #my ride the series #bed friend #bed friend the series #our dining table #bokura no shokutaku

[deliwrites]

Hickeys // Sapnap

Date: 12th of October 2022 (Originally; 13th of June 2021) Published: 22nd July 2021 Member: Sapnap Type: Fluff, semi NSFW, Female reader TW: Bruising Word count: 4018 Summary: Nick likes to place hickeys, like a lot. Y/n doesn't mind whatsoever, but there is a problem. Her brother is extremely protective of his little sister.

// MASTERLIST //

Y/n POV

"Thanks, Liz," I thanked my friend as I got out of her car. "I'll text you tomorrow or so okay?" I was staying at my brother's at least for tonight. He had invited me over since we don't get to see each other that often, so it was nice. There was one problem tho.

"Of course, also, do you really think you can hide. You're wearing a scarf in the middle of summer," she pointed out.

"I know, I know! But you know I don't wear - a lot of - make-up, I don't have foundation, and your skin tone is very different from mine."

"I know, all I'm trying to say is that you should just tell him, okay? Now have fun! See you later!" With that, she drives off leaving me in front of the apartment building. I sigh, pulling at the scarf around my neck a little bit, feeling so sweaty already. Not sure if it was because of the scarf or my nerves peaking. Swinging my overnight bag over my shoulder I walk to the panel by the door, looking for number 201. I ring the bell patiently waiting for someone to open the door. It could be one of three people.

"Hello?" George's voice came through, uncertain.

"Hey, it's Y/n, could you let me in please, it's hot as hell out here," I tell him and I hear him scream through the apartment 'Y/n's here!' before he presses the buzzer.

"See you in a bit!" He says before I can hear him put the phone back on the horn. I open the door and walk through, straight to the elevator. It was so much cooler inside! I press the button and wait for the elevator to come down. I stand back a little when it arrives, not wanting to be in the way of anyone who could come out.

"Hey babe," is the first thing I hear when the elevator doors open. My eyes widen as I look up at Nick in surprise. He walks over to me, pecking my lips quickly, then taking my bag.

"Wha- why would you come down?" I ask confused but follow him into the elevator.

"Because I wanted to see you before Clay," he says like it's obvious. "When he's there I can't do this," he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer placing his heavenly soft lips on mine. The kiss is soft and gentle, which comes as a surprise to me but I enjoy it nonetheless. After a short while he pulls away, I stare into his gorgeous eyes a blush on my face.

"Yeah well, you're gonna have to deal with it, just like me," I tell him and shove him a bit away. "Because of you I have to wear a fucking scarf in summer," he chuckles at that, shaking his head, a smirk on his lips.

"I might have to take advantage of that scarf and create some more before I can't," he starts coming back over, but I push him back while giggling.

"Don't even think about it! I am fucking sweating!" We finally reach the 20th floor and Nick opens the only door on said floor. Yes, Clay, George and Nick owned a penthouse and it was fucking beautiful. It had 2 floors and the first floor was basically an open floor plan.

"I don't know if you brought any swimwear, but we're out on the balcony by the pool," Nick says as he closes the door behind us. He took off his shirt as we walked through the apartment and I try so hard not to look.

"I did, but you and I both know that I can't take off this scarf," I tell him with a pointed look. He chuckled, dumping my bag on the couch in the living room.

"Oops," he says turning around to stick his tongue out at me. I roll my eyes and watch him run to the balcony, the glass doors wide open, and jumps straight into the pool. Clay getting splashed as he managed to land right next to the man relaxing on a blow-up mattress.

"WHAT!" Clay instantly yells and I can't help but giggle loudly at my brothers startled expression.

"I'm sure you needed some cold water on you," I tell him as I walk outside and sit with George at the table that is covered with a big beach umbrella.

"Ha ha, very funny," Clay fake laughs. "Why don't you come in, see how you like the cold."

"Nah, I think I'm good," I chuckle, I watch as Clay and Nick start play fighting in the water. A bright smile gracing my lips. 'God, if only'.

"Y/n, it's like one of the hottest days yet, why are you wearing a scarf?" George asks after a while, probably having battled himself about asking or not beforehand.

"I- I get cold... easily," I try to lie tho it's obvious. I can tell he doesn't believe me but decides to drop the subject for now. Thank goodness for that. I turn, looking at Nick and sent him a glare, not that he noticed.

If you haven't caught on yet, Nick is my boyfriend. Has been for a bit over a month now. Clay doesn't know this and we both want to keep it that way, at least for a little while longer. We like each other very much, but just in case it doesn't end up working out. I don't want Clay to have to worry about it. Along with the fact that he would probably smack Nick the moment he knew he had laid his hands on me. I like Nick a lot and I don't plan on letting that idiot go any time soon but I also don't want to ruin their friendship. Especially since I know how protective Clay is of me as his younger sister.

Nick had been over at my place yesterday and left a few very noticeable hickeys on me. I had gotten pretty used to them, hell, I loved them if I was being honest. Made me feel loved and to me, it just showed how possessive he was over me. It made me blush just thinking about it.

"You're staring at Nick for an awfully long time there, Y/n," George whispers, startling me out of my daydream.

"I am not, I don't know what you're on about," I tell him but I can tell he doesn't believe me from the smirk playing on his lips.

"Hmm, yeah, okay, sure," he smirks, sending a wink my way. 'Wait! Does he know!?'. "Yes I do know, do you honestly think Nick could keep it to himself for this long?"

"I-" I sigh and shake my head. "I guess not," you knew how excited Nick could get. I just pray to god he hadn't told Clay anything. Then again, if he knew I would have known by now.

"Anyways, you know he'll find out sooner or later," he says, gesturing with his head to Clay. "You might wanna tell him before he finds out."

"I know," I sigh and look away from George.

"Alright, what pizzas do you guys want?" Clay asks and he drops his ass down on the chair next to me. Nick sat in front of me, George next to him. It was now past 7 in the evening, the sun now luckily having moved behind the apartment building so we had at least some shadow and it was slowly cooling down.

"Can I have BBQ Chicken and Bacon?" I ask giving him pouty lips, not that I needed too but he chuckled anyways. He added it to the order also adding his own, Nicks and Georges.

"Alright, they should be here in tops 30 mins," he announces, placing his phone down on the table so we can all see the app as it shows us what Dominos is doing with the order. "Now, sister dearest, mind telling me why you're wearing a scarf?" Woah, straight to the point, huh? He props his elbow on the table, leaning his head on his hand.

"I am just cold," I try to sound as convincing as possible. But he obviously sees straight through me.

"Hmm, yeah I don't believe it," he says shaking his head. 'Okay, now what? I guess I could just show him and not tell him who made them? Ugh, well here goes nothing I guess'.

"Okay, fine, I'm not cold," I sigh and with a bit of hesitation I take the scarf off. From the corner of my eye, I can see Nick trying to hold back a smirk as his hickeys on my skin slowly come into view.

"Y/N! WHAT!" Clay instantly bursts out in overprotectiveness. "Who do I need to beat!"

"Calm down, you don't need to beat anyone," I tell him, rolling my eyes.

"Fine, I'll just have a nice talk with them, so who?"

"It's no one important, just some guy at a friends party," I lie as I look down at my lap. As long as I don't look at him he can't tell I'm lying, right? I look up slightly at Nick who, looks back at me, and is biting his lip. Probably just as scared about telling Clay the truth as I am. I will be begging on my knees just to make sure Clay wouldn't smack Nick just over a few bruises on my neck. "Please just let it go, I am fine okay?" Just then the bell rings, Clay mutters a fine and goes to answer the door.

"I don't get why you guys can't just tell him," George states when he's sure Clay is out of ear shot.

"Did you not see how he just reacted?" I ask him like it's obvious. "I am sorry, but I would rather not have him smack Nick in the face over hickeys."

"Look, George, I wanna tell him," Nick starts, sighing slightly. "And I don't mind if he hits because I know he is protective of, Y/n, but we're both scared it will change the friendship we have."

"Alright fine, but don't you think it's better that he hears it from you instead of finding it out himself?" The question leaves both Nick and me silent. I glance at him with a defeated look, knowing that George is right.

Eating is slightly awkward after that, but we still talk and joke around a bit. Soon enough it's 11 ish and I'm in the guest bedroom by myself. Sat in the middle of the bed, legs crossed and face in my hands. I am so mad at myself for not being able to tell my own brother what's really going on. He deserves to know, but what if it ruins his friendship with Nick! I don't want that to happen. I don't want that guilt. I hear two knocks on the door, knowing it's Nick, I answer yeah, not moving from my position.

"Hey," Nick says quietly as he enters the room, closing the door behind him. He walks over to the bed and sits down next to me. Gently taking my hands away from my face. "Look, I know we planned on waiting," he says while he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. My head falling onto his shoulder as soon as I'm close enough to do so. "But I think we should tell him."

"I know," I pout slightly but he's quick to bend forward and take it away with a soft lingering peck. A small smile gracing my lips when he pulls away. "I am sorry in advance."

"Eh, it will be fine," he chuckles softly. "Might get punched, but I'm sure I can deal with it."

"Should we tell him tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think we should," he sighs slightly and I can tell he's at least a little bit scared. He turns to look at me again placing his lips on mine again. I smile into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands lay gently, yet tightly on my hips. "No matter the outcome tomorrow, I am not letting you slip away that easily," he says once we pull way, our foreheads pressed together.

"Good, cause the same goes to you," I smirk, nuzzling his nose with mine sweetly. "I like you too much to just let you go."

After one more goodnight kiss, he leaves the room to go to his own. Agreeing to tell him when we see him first thing tomorrow morning. I would have preferred it if he stayed, so we could cuddle, but I knew we couldn't risk Clay walking in and finding out that way. So with a sigh, I settle into bed and try my best to sleep. I mostly end up staring at the ceiling as all types of scenarios of tomorrow run through my mind. Grabbing the pillow from beside me I shove it in my face. 'Just sleep!' I tell my mind.

Morning comes quicker than I thought, the light coming in through the window waking me up gently. Today is the day. With a big yawn, I sit up and stretch. I look around the room for a sec before my eyes settle on my bag. Climbing out of bed I grab a simple pair of shorts (no, not short shorts, how in the hell is that comfortable anyway?) along with a plain white v neck shirt. I swiftly change my underwear and bra, jumping into the clean clothes and then make my way out of the bedroom. Going into the bathroom, I leave the door open as I brush my teeth with the spare toothbrush Clay had bought for me months ago.

"Morning," Nick says as he walks in, he had his own bathroom - lucky him - but it kinda became routine for him to join me whenever I was here. I sent him an awkward smile while brushing my teeth through the mirror. He grins, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. His head gently resting on my shoulder as he still looked tired.  "You nervous?" He asks softly, I nod before tapping his arm. He lets go of me so I can spit and rinse.

"I am, do you know if he's awake yet?" I ask as we leave the bathroom, walking towards the kitchen. "What time is it anyways?"

"Uhm, about to be 10 I think, and I have no clue. It is Friday tho, could be going grocery shopping," he answers opening up a cupboard, taking out two bowls. I go and grab the milk carton from the nearly empty fridge, setting it down next to Nick as he fills both bowls with cereal. I hop on the counter sitting on the corner, right next to him.

"Thank you," I smile when he hands me my bowl along with a spoon. He comes closer standing between my legs as we both eat in silence for a bit. "Do you think he'll react differently because he knows you?"

"I am not sure, I hope it gives me some type of immunity but I wouldn't be surprised if I would still get a scolding from him," he answers. Setting down his bowl and taking mine from me he moves closer. Wrapping his arms around my waist he sighs excessively when his head leans on my shoulder. I smile softly, pecking the top of his head, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"I'm sure it will be okay in the end," I squeeze him a little, getting a chuckle from him. Moving his head, I feel his lips connect to my neck. My cheeks immediately heating up with a blush. "Nick-!" I whisper yell as he starts leaving gentle kisses all over my neck.

"Shh, just let me have this," he shushes me, going back to littering my neck with kisses, sucking every now and then. I knew exactly why he was doing this. He was nervous, he needed a distraction and right now, sucking hickeys was the best distraction. I bite my bottom lip, trying not to moan, just in case one of the two others living in this apartment would hear it. It just always felt so good when he did this. He was so gentle with it, yet rough when he would bite my skin. After a while I gently pull the hair on the back of his head, getting the hint he pulls away from my neck. I look into his gorgeous eyes for a second, before closing my own and connecting our lips in a sweet kiss. Wrapping my arms tighter around his neck, deepening the kiss. His tongue playing with mine in a teasing manner.

A sudden thud and objects rolling over the floor makes us jump and pull away from each other. There in the doorway stood Clay and George, I could see the latter roll his eyes as he walked in and placed his bags on the island.

"You're kidding," is surprisingly the first thing that comes out of Clay's mouth. When no one answers he shakes his head. "You know what, get out of the kitchen. I- I need to think," Nick is quick to pull me out of the kitchen. I look back in shock. Now, this was definitely not how I was expecting him to respond. We end up on the balcony sitting at the table in the shade.

"Well, there goes the plan of just telling him," Nick says in defeat.

"I guess so," I mumble, playing with his fingers nervously. "I don't know what will happen now."

"Me neither, but I think it's going to be alright," his phone dings. "George is talking with him while they're putting the groceries away," he informs me.

Third POV

"How did I not realize?" Clay mutters as he put all the fridge items away. "Did you know?" He asks George who is packing away in the storage closet. A sigh coming from said closet confirms his suspicion.

"Look, I haven't known for long, basically a week at most," George tells the somewhat angered older brother. "But I know for a fact Nick likes her very much."

"She's my little sister-"

"I know, but you know Nick. He would never hurt her on purpose," leaning his head against the fridge door, Clay bangs his head on it once. George chuckling at the sight. "Y/n is also old enough to make her own decisions, alright?"

"Ugh, I know," with a frustrated sigh he walks over to a pillar leaning against it, looking out to the balcony where the couple sat. Y/n had a bright smile on her face as the two talked. Nicks hand holding hers, his thumb stroking comfortingly on the back of her hand. "Is it bad that I hate that they look cute," George laughs, clapping his hand on Clay's shoulder.

"That's brotherhood for ya I guess," with one more sigh, Clay starts walking towards the balcony. George following behind him. Y/n's eyes widen when she notices the two walking over.

"Look, Clay, we were gonna tell you," she says and clay could hear the fear in her voice.

"It's okay," he tells her, sitting down beside her.

"Really?" Nick asked unsure if this was real.

"Yes, but I swear, if you hurt my sister, you're actually gonna get smacked," Clay chuckles as Nick pulls Y/n into his embrace, her back against his chest. Giving her a gentle peck on the cheek, and Clay can't help but be happy for his little sister and best friend. They looked so happy together. He for sure knew Nick was a whole lot better than any other person Y/n had dated before him. Not that there were a lot, but they were dicks nonetheless. "Just please, don't cover her in hickeys too much, cause I do not wanna see that," A blush instantly forms on Y/n's cheeks as she shrinks into Nicks embrace.

"I am sorry, I'll do my best to hold back," Nick says with a smirk on his lips.

"Thank you, Clay."

11 months later - Y/n POV

"Are you sure, Clay and George will be gone the entire weekend?" I ask Nick as soon as we enter the apartment.

"Yes I'm sure, now I actually get to spent alone time with you babe," he says tickling my sides as he pushes me into the bathroom. "Now go change, I'll be in the pool when you're ready!" With that, he runs off to the pool.

"Idiot," I chuckle closing the door to the bathroom. I swiftly change into my bathing suit pulling on the edges feeling just the tiniest bit self-conscious.

After a little pep talk to myself, I make my way to the balcony. Looking from behind a pillar I notice Nick in the water, floating on his back with his eyes closed. With a grin, I run for the pool and jump in right next to him.

"Oh, you're gonna get it," Nick says as soon as I reach the surface. I giggle, squealing when I get splashed with water. Diving underwater I swim away from Nick. "Oh no you don't," Nick chuckles swimming after me. Hands take hold of my waist, stopping me from swimming any further. Nick turns me around, bringing us up from the water. "Gotcha," giggling I wrap my arms around his neck.

"God I missed you," I tell him, playing with his wet hair. We hadn't seen each other for two weeks as both of us had been busy, but we were sure to keep this weekend free for our first year anniversary.

"I missed you too," leaning in he gives me a gentle peck. Moving is slowly to the edge of the pool. "Hmm, I think that neck of yours is a bit too clear for me," he smirks instantly diving for my neck. I squeal feeling his lips layer kisses upon kisses. Sucking and biting on my skin making me moan scratching my nails on his back at the amazing feeling. We had gone pretty far already over the past few months but it still felt new and so exciting every time. I wrap my legs around his middle, squeezing him tight. Biting just below my jaw he makes his way up, kissing his way to my lips. We stare into each other's eyes breaking contact every once and a while to deliver lingering pecks.

"I love you," I whisper sincerely, my brain wants me to look away in case of rejection but I will myself to keep staring into his beautiful eyes. I can see shock shoot over his face but it's quickly replaced with a gentle smile. Leaning forward he connects our lips, the kiss filled with passion making me almost forget he didn't say it back. It gives a tiny pinch of pain in my heart, but I tell myself it's alright. He could just not be ready to tell me and I need to accept that.

That night we end up on the couch watching a movie, tho I wasn't really watching. I cuddled into Nick's chest, him gently stroking my back as he tries to gently lull me to sleep. When I'm close to falling asleep he quietly whispers four words to me, making me grin just slight as to not give away I was actually awake.

"I love you too."

I hope you enjoyed this oneshot! Let me know what you think and maybe hopefully stick around for a few more!

#dsmp fanfic #dream smp #dsmp #dreamsmp x reader #dreamsmp x you #dreamsmp x y/n #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n #sapnap x reader #dream team #mcty x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #cc!sapnap #cc!dream #cc!george #cc!mcyt

[morganski-19]

I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 5: Trying

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 4

October 1986

“Ok, Julie,” Sarah Piercing, Julie’s case worker, sits across a small table from Julie, flipping through a file. “I know that this is hard for you, and I’m not asking for much. But we have to find you a temporary placement until I can locate some family members for you to stay with.”

Julie stays silent, staring at the corner of the table with her arms crossed. She’s wearing her mom’s sweatshirt, the same as she has for the past few days. It’s the only thing that’s making her feel comfortable at all, and she won’t take it off no matter how hard anyone else tries to.

“I’ve looked into your mother’s side of the family.” Sarah continues, sticking to the business. Not even a second’s hesitation in saying the word mother, as if the mere mention of her doesn’t make Julie want to burst out sobbing. “And the only family member I could find was her sister, but she is in another state, and after a short talk on the phone and a background check, deemed not suitable to take in a child.”

Suitable. As if anyone this person sticks her with would be more suitable that her mom. No one could ever live up to the person Rebecca Lawson was. No one could ever make Julie feel as safe as she did. As loved as she did.

“So, I’ve started looking into your father’s side. He has signed the birth certificate, but otherwise has not given up his parental rights, so he is still a placement to consider. Is it true that he has not been present in your life?”

Julie takes a deep breath, not wanting to talk about this anymore than she has to. “Yes.”

“This might all be a dead end. He does have an adult son, though. Have you ever met him?”

She stays silent again.

“Julie, I’m trying to find you a placement that is family, people that you are related to. I want to help you.”

Because the people she’s never met are family. Julie had family, and that’s gone. “I’ve never met anyone on my dad’s side. I’ve never even met him.”

“Alright. Maybe that isn’t the best outlet then. There is an open bed at the Radburn family’s house. They have two children there already, a brother and sister, ages twelve and eight. They’ve been there for a few months now and are currently being considered for adoption from a few couples. Does that sound like the best fit for you?”

“Whatever,” she responds coldly.

Sarah slides a folder in front of Julie. It holds all of the information Julie would need about this family before it becomes official, Sarah explains. As well as the address and phone number of her father if she ever wanted to initiate contact. If she ever wanted to find closure.

As if she needed anything else to make this week even worse. She’s already lost the only parent, the only family she’s ever known. She didn’t need to be rejected by the same man twice.

But there’s another name on the paper, the name of her father’s son. Steve Harrington. If she were to contact anyone from that family, it would be him. He deserved to know who his father was just as much as she did. That family deserved to know what Richard Harrington kept from them.

. . .

Present Day, November 1986

Steve knocks on the now Hopper-Byers house, hoping that Hopper is home. He needed to talk to someone who could actually help him with this, and he’s the closest he could think of. Maybe Joyce could help too since she took in El after Hopper was presumed dead, but he’s not entirely sure how that worked. He’s not entirely sure how Hopper gained custody of El anyway, he’s just hoping that it will help.

“Hello,” El says when she opens the door.

“Are you supposed to answer the door?”

She shrugs. “I have before.”

“Is your dad home, I’d like to talk to him.”

“Yes, he is in the kitchen.” El steps aside and lets him pass.

She walks with him to the kitchen, leading him as if he already doesn’t know the way. The Byers were lucky that the house hadn’t sold when they moved back to Hawkins, and with the payout from the government hush money and Hopper being reinstated as chief, they were able to add an extension so each of the kids could have their own room.

“Dad, Steve is here to see you,” she says as they enter the kitchen.

Hopper looks up from the file he’s reading with a nod. “Thanks, kid.” El walks away with a nod. “What can I do for you, Steve?”

He motions for Steve to take the seat across from him. “I was hoping I could talk to you about something. It’s about Julie.”

Hopper huffs out a laugh, closing the file in front of him and leaning back in the seat. “I was wondering how long it would take you to come talk to me. Go on.”

“I want to get custody for her, at least for a little while. I’m not sure I’m the best fit for her long term, but I want to get her out of that house, and she seems to like it back at mine.”

“Figured you would. I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but I can definitely be a good character reference for you. So would Joyce.”

Steve nods. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He pauses. “How would I even go about doing this? Like what’s the first step? How’d you get custody of El?”

Hopper laughs. “Well, that wasn’t the most traditional way of doing things so that might not be the best help for your case. But I’d say probably talking to her case worker and seeing what you’d need to do to be granted temporary guardianship.”

“Ok, that doesn’t seem too bad. Anything you’d think I’d have to change to be granted that?”

“Getting a full-time job wouldn’t hurt. There’s probably going to be a house inspection so getting rid of anything, suspicious, is a good idea. But with how her case worker reacted to that house and the fact that she keeps running away, I think the odds are pretty good if she likes you. Of course, you’ll have to talk to Julie about all this first, see if she wants it.”

Steve doesn’t even know how to bring it up to Julie. He’s been scared that she might not even want this, that all of this effort might go toward nothing. But when he remembers the hopeless look on her face every time she has to go back to that house, and the breath of relief she took when he told her she could, illegally, stay at his house. All of it just tells him that there might be some hope in this.

The only hitch was how he didn’t feel like he was enough. Julie needed structure, a home. Somewhere that could provide for her better than he could. He’s barely an adult himself and can’t even legally drink yet, there’s no way he’s the best fit for her. And with the trauma that he’s just now starting to deal with, the nightmares he won’t be able to explain and the injuries he can’t either, it’s just not possible.

But temporary, he can work with temporarily. Steve only hopes that Julie can too.

“I’m planning to, soon.”

“Good. Hope it works out for you, let me know if I can help with anything else.”

Steve goes to stand, “Thank you again for your help. It really means a lot that you have my back for this.”

“Anytime, kid,” Hopper stands and sees Steve out. “And Steve, come to me again when you realize how long temporary means for you.”

Steve stares at Hopper as he closes the door, leaving him with the question he’s already debated more times than he can count.

. . .

“Hi,” Jane greets Julie at her empty lunch table, holding a lunch tray. “Can Max and I eat with you?”

“The people we normally eat are getting on my nerves,” Max complains, nodding her head at the table full of boys they just came from.

Julie looks in that direction. Two of the boys, one with curly hair and the other with a trying mullet are in a heated argument. One is just sitting there resigned of what is happening while the other looks over with a sorry gaze. “Sure,” Julie replies, “looks intense.”

“It was,” Jane states, sitting across from Julie after helping Max roll up to the end of the table.

“Something about the dumb game they play,” Max says while rolling her eyes.

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Jane mumbles over a bite of her sandwich. “They are trying to pick a date to play, but it is not working.”

Julie looks back at the table and sees all the boys now engaged in the argument and winces. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Are you in Mrs. Wilson’s English class,” Jane asks, making small talk.

She shakes her head. “No, I’m a year ahead of you guys. Had her last year.”

“So, you already had to go through the torture of the Odyssey, be honest does it get any better.” Max reaches her hand across her tray and feels for her sandwich, carefully running her fingers along the edges before picking it up.

“If you’re into Greek Mythology, then yes. But if not, then no. Especially if you can’t get past the old language.” Julie picks at her lunch, not hungry.

Max sighs. “Great. It’s already enough that the story wants to make me fall asleep, but the guy who does the audiobook has the most sleep-inducing voice I’ve ever heard.”

“Lucas offered to read it to you,” Jane interrupts, sounding condescending.

“But he’s so busy with basketball, I don’t want to bother him with another thing.”

“You are not bothering him. Just ask him?”

“Who’s Lucas,” Julie asks, immediately regrets asking as this conversation seems to not involve her.

Jane looks at her with a smile. “Max’s boyfriend.”

“Sort of boyfriend,” Max corrects. “I haven’t decided if I’m ready for the full title yet.”

“He is her boyfriend,” Jane insists before returning to her lunch.

The three of them finish their lunch over small conversation, mainly just Jane and Max with Julie listening quietly. It’s weird to have people eat lunch with her. Ever since her best friend moved away a few years ago, there’s never been anyone else to eat with. And now the school is desolate compared to last year from the moves after spring break. It was easier to eat alone then to try and find friends.

But even though she doesn’t know Jane and Max that much, it doesn’t feel foreign. It feels friendly. Julie forgot how nice friendly felt.

. . .

“You will never guess what Keith just pulled me into his office for,” Robin excitedly runs up to Steve as he’s doing returns.

“We got a raise,” Steve guesses.

Robin shakes her head, pressing her lips together to keep in her excitement. “He’s quitting,” she loudly whispers as a customer came in the store.

Steve does a quick greeting to the customer before turning back to Robin. “You can’t be serious.”

“I indeed am, dingus. Keith is moving away and therefore, quitting. And he offered me his position as manager, but I declined it because I am going to start taking some classes at the community college in a few months, leaving you the opening to take it.”

“That would solve the job thing.” He winces, “But do I really want to manage a video store.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Versus what, dingus. Just abandoning me to this shop alone as you go off and find a stuffy office job that I know you’ll hate and aren’t even qualified for. Take the job that’s been thrown into your lap. Because Keith may not like you but other than the week of spring break that they’ve since forgiven us for, your attendance has been spotless, with the exception of a few necessary call outs, the customers love you and you have great people skills. And while Keith seems to not think it, after working here for a while, you do have a good understanding of most of the movies in here and how to suggest them.”

“When you put it that way,” Steve sighs, yielding.

She smiles. “So, you’re going to go talk to Keith.”

“Yes. I will go talk to Keith.”

Steve walks over to the office and knocks gently. When Keith opens it, he rolls his eyes and leaves the door open when going back to his chair and his Cheetos.

“You’ll have to reapply,” Keith grumbles, upset that he’s even telling Steve this at all. “And you’ll have to interview with the owner.”

“When do I need it by?”

Keith sighs. “Have it by next week.”

“Great, thanks Keith.”

Steve returns to Robin with a grin. They work the rest of their shift before switching out with the afternoon workers, heading over to the school to pick up Dustin. He didn’t usually pick up Dustin from school, but with the state of the roads and heightened worry from the parents since the earthquake, he isn’t allowed to bike. So, he offered to do the days that Claudia needed to work. And he was happy to do it after all, gave him something to do.

He pulls up into his usual spot, Eddie’s van pulling up next to his not long after. Steve and Robin get out to talk to Eddie while they wait, and to make sure the back had enough for Max’s wheelchair.

It’s not awkward when he talks to Eddie. For some reason he thought it would be since they decided to put a pause on what was happening between them. But Eddie hops out and hugs Steve like he normally does, and then hugs Robin after. Like routine.

Steve should be grateful that it’s normal, should be grateful that Eddie doesn’t hold it against him. But it still stings knowing he was this close to getting something before he let his dad take it away from him again. Like he always did.

The last school bell rings and students start to flood out of the doors and into the parking lot and bus lane. Much less of a group of kids than last year, half of the town moving out after the quake, but still enough.

He spots Julie and catches her eye, waving at her. She waves back and he waves her over, thinking he can just offer her a ride. She’ll probably end up at his house anyway. But then Dustin will want to know who she is, but that he can deal with.

“Hey,” Julie greets him. “What are you doing here?”

“I pick up one of the kids I used to babysit after school sometimes,” Eddie and Robin snort when he says babysit, “Help his mom out. You want a ride, got an extra seat.”

“Oh. Uh, sure. Let me just go grab my bike.” Julie walks away, heading towards the bike racks.

Eddie leans closer to him. “You really think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs. “She’s coming over to my house anyway.”

“But have you told Dustin about this new thing?” Robin adds, widen her eyes and waving her hands around.

Steve sighs. “No, but I’ll handle it. I can just say I actually started babysitting or something.”

“Yeah, cause sixteen-year-olds are in desperate need of babysitting,” Eddie mumbles.

“I said or something,” he mutters back.

Dustin finally makes his way out of the school, barreling his way over with Lucas and Max. Lucas is pushing Max up the slight hill, making sure that she doesn’t run into the moving cars. Eddie goes over to the passenger side to open the side door for Max, which Lucas helps her to step into, making sure she doesn’t put too much body weight on her legs.

“I got it, I got it,” she scolds when Lucas helps a little too much, but with the relief visible on her face when she gets in the car, it was needed.

“Call me when you get home, ok,” Lucas asks. Max nods, clicking her seatbelt into place carefully and looking forward.

Eddie collapses her wheelchair and gets it in the back of his van, saying his goodbye to Steve before driving off. Lucas heads towards the bike racks, waving to the rest of them as he does.

“Steve,” Dustin repeats, stopping his long rant to Robin about his science class. “Come on. I have a project I have due tomorrow.”

“The one you had assigned two weeks ago and are just now starting?” He asks, leaning against his car.

Dustin rolls his eyes. “I was assigned last week and took me a while to think of an idea but now I have one and would like to get working on it. So can we go before the exit gets clogged with seniors.”

Steve sees Julie almost to his car, rolling her bike beside her. “In a second, I’m taking someone else home today.”

“Who,” Dustin asks with a shocked face. “Did you make another friend that’s a high schooler? You need more friends your age, man.”

“You know you say that and then get offended when I can’t drive you places because I’m hanging out with other people. And I have sort of made a friend, it’s more complicated than that.” Steve walks to his trunk and pops the hood.

“How is it complicated?” Dustin gets cut off when Julie walks up to the car, Steve taking her bike from her and loading it into his trunk. “Who are you?”

Robin smacks his arm. “Be nice, doofus.”

“Dustin, this is Julie,” Steve introduces, turning to Julie. “Ignore anything he’s about to say, he can be a bit overwhelming.”

Julie looks at him with both a concerned and confused look, almost looking like she’s debating getting her bike and refusing the ride. But Steve ushers Dustin to the other side of the car.

“I am not overwhelming, Steve, just a curious mind,” Dustin continues but Steve tunes him out.

Robin gets in her designated seat, with Julie sitting in the seat behind her. Steve shoots Robin a glare which she returns with one that says, “I told you so”, before he pulls out of the parking lot.

. . .

Dustin keeps looking at her. Which is both unsettling and uncomfortable with how obvious he is. Julie’s seen him around school a few times, he was the curly haired kid that Max was sitting with at lunch before moving to her table. She assumes they’re friends, and since he knows Steve, does Max too?

If only Julie could ask, but he keeps staring at her with squinted eyes like he’s trying to figure out her deal. She wonders if Steve has told him about their relationship. It’s not like she would care, they never talked about who they wanted to tell. But she trusts Steve’s judgement enough that if he decided to share it, she would have let him.

“I know you from somewhere,” Dustin finally says, apparently done assessing her face.

“Jesus, Dustin, give it a rest,” Steve chastises from the front seat.

Dustin rolls his eyes but continues anyway. “I saw you eating lunch with Max and Jane earlier.”

“I did,” she replies, shifting in her seat a bit, scratching at the same spot on her thumb. She always gets a bit uncomfortable around new people, but this is intense.

“How do you know Max?” he asks, almost defensive.

Steve sends an apologetic look through the rearview mirror. “Dustin,” he warns again.

“I’m just asking. You two obviously know each other and I don’t know her, so I’m asking.”

“More like interrogating,” Robin mutters under her breath with an agreeing nod from Steve.

“I used to live down the street from her in the trailer park,” Julie answers.

Dustin nods. “So do you know Eddie then too, they lived across the street from each other.”

“I do.” There is an air of uncomfortable energy clouding Julie’s space. She moves on from scratching to picking, almost enough to make her thumb bleed.

Robin groans. “Jesus, Steve pulls over.” He does. “Julie switch seats from me, you can ignore Dustin better than way.”

She gets out of the car and switches places with Robin, now in the front seat with Steve.

“Wait, what,” Dustin starts to protest. “You gave up your seat.”

Robin shrugs. “So.”

Dustin is obviously very upset and confused, almost betrayed. He looks at Steve for anything but gets nothing. “You never give up the front seat, for your motion sickness.”

“Yeah well,” she says with a sly grin, “that might be fake so I always get the front seat.”

“What,” Dustin exclaims. “And you give it up for some girl that I’ve only met today. You’ve known me for two years.”

“Julie’s special.”

“How is she special?”

Robin rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t annoy me twenty-four-seven like someone else does.”

“So, you know her too. How do the both of you know her?” Dustin takes a deep breath, staring up at the roof before looking straight ahead again. “I’m seriously just curious, I’ve never once seen her hang out with you guys.”

Steve gives her a questioning look at the red light. Asking silently if it was ok for him to tell Dustin. Julie just shrugs, leaving the decision up to him.

Steve lets out a long sigh. “Julie is my sister, Dustin.”

It’s the first time since Dustin’s started talking that he’s been quiet. She might have just met him, but it seems like that doesn’t happen a lot. He just sits back in his seat, stunned with this information.

“She’s your sister,” he finally says.

“Yep,” Julie responds, biting on her cheek.

“Holy shit. How long have you known?”

Steve rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know, what three weeks now?”

“Yeah, around that” Julie confirms.

Dustin takes another second to think before his face hits with realization. “That’s why you look so familiar. I saw the resemblance.”

Julie looks at Steve. They have a few similarities, but not a lot. “I don’t think we look that alike-.”

“You totally do,” Dustin insists as they pull up to what Julie can assume is his house.

“Alright, we’re here, out,” Steve commands.

Dustin gaps. “What no, I have so many more questions. Like how did you meet, did she always know, does your mom know, did you ever suspect anything, is this going to throw off our group dynamics?”

“All questions that will be there tomorrow,” Robin adds. “Now out.”

“Fine,” he groans, opening the car door. “See you later, Steve. Nice meeting you, Julie.”

The car rids back to Steve’s is silent, making one more stop to drop Robin off at her house. Julie would start up a conversation, but it felt nice to sit in silence after what just happened. She expected that she would meet the other people in Steve’s life, just not like this. A little less thrown into it all, but then he did warn her that he was picking someone else up. She just thought they would have been a little more amicable.

Not to say that Dustin wasn’t, but he came off so defensive. Like he had to protect Steve from something. Julie remembers that Steve mentioned he met Eddie during the spring break craziness, and now that she thinks about it, he did see him wandering around the trailer park that week. With Dustin, and with Max. With Eddie, and Robin, and some other kids too.

That week was a plague in her community, one that no one really had an explanation for. The same lack of explanations for what happened for the last three years in this town. Just the last fourth of July, there were people going in hoards to the new mall, only to die in a supposed fire. Julie ran into a girl she knew from school heading there, there was nothing normal in the way they were walking to the mall.

Something has been going on in Hawkins, and Julie had a weird feeling that told her Steve somehow knew about it. But she had no other proof to tell her why.

“I’m sorry about him,” Steve finally says. “I should have guessed that it would go like that, but I was hoping he wouldn’t go straight into interrogation mode.”

“It’s fine,” Julie responds quietly, stopping herself from picking at her skin again. “You two seem close.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah well, he was the closest thing I had to a sibling for well, before you.”

He pulls up his driveway and parks the car. As they get out of the car, the words he said sticks in Julie’s mind. Obviously, they were siblings, that was a biological fact. But biology means nothing when it comes to family, not for her at least. And they were estranged. Even though she’s spent almost every afternoon at his house for the past week, that doesn’t mean they were at the sibling level yet.

Unless they were. Julie was at the point where she could see Steve being a part of her life for a long time, maybe even forever. But she wasn’t sure if he was there yet. She had nothing left, no family, barely any friends. This new relationship with him was the last thing she could grasp that meant a family. It was easier for her to hope for the best when she already was holding the worst.

But him, he had a family. One already made from friends, his parents never really sticking around too much. It was something he talked about a lot, his friends. The kids he “babysat”, Robin, Eddie, he even mentioned one of his exes was now a close friend. He had people to rely on, he didn’t need another person in his life.

And yet he still smiled every time Julie came over and welcomed him into his home. Tried to get to know her and support her in the ways he could. Making sure she had a safe place to run away too when the other house got too much.

He understood her, or at least tried to. If anyone asked, she would not hesitate to say that they were siblings, let them assume that they were a real family. It was a reflex, a need. She needed people to know that she wasn’t alone. That there was someone to look after her.

Julie spent the last month looking after herself and everyone around her. Making sure she got the brunt of the yelling when Molly and Oliver were still in the house, did what she was told to avoid a fight. Ran away for nights on end and stealing extra food from the school lunches just to make sure she didn’t starve. It was her reality.

So, it was normal to want someone to take the load off again. And a small part of her wanted it to be Steve, hoped that he would do it. But she would never ask for it directly. He didn’t need her, and she hated the fact that she needed him.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Steve starts when the walk into the kitchen, sitting down across from her usual seat at the table. “It’s kind of important.”

Anxiety shoots through Julie as she sits down. This was it. “Ok,” she says warily.

Steve clears his throat, visibly debating how to say whatever it was. Only making it worse for Julie. “I’ve been thinking about a few things but mainly about how much you come over. I’ve seen you use the back shed a few times when things get bad, and sometimes I’ll come down for a glass of water and you’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

It’s too much, he doesn’t want her there. He’s taking back his offer because she used it too much. He doesn’t want her here anymore.

“The point I am trying to make is that you seem to like it here, more than there. And as far as us trying to get to know each other, I think it’s going well. I’ve liked getting to know you and starting to have that sibling relationship that I’ve wanted since I was a kid. Having Dustin and the kids is nice, and as much as I see them as siblings, it’s different. They have their own families while I don’t. But I want to. So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to see if I could get temporary custody of you, so you could come live here.”

“Oh,” Julie says in shock, her anxiety lessens and her defenses lower. He said the opposite of what he thought he would.

“And it doesn’t need to be permanent, just temporary. I’m not completely sure if I would even qualify for permanent custody or anything, or if I’m the best for that. But what I’m trying to say is that your welcome here, and I’d like to see you sleep on a real bed instead of my couch.”

Temporary rings around in her head, sticking more than everything else. The possibility of leaving still ever present, of not having a permanent home. She gets what he’s saying that he might not get approved, that she would be forced to move somewhere else. But she would want him to at least try. To at least admit that maybe he too wanted this for more than a short time.

Julie was never one to keep friendships, to let anyone in other than family. It was her and her mom against everyone else, always. She’s missed having that permanence, and she wanted Steve to fill that place.

Even though he would never be her mom, he never could be. And maybe she’s already putting too much pressure on him to be that.

But with the way he’s looking at her, she can’t help but think that they’re one in the same. Two people hurt by circumstance, trying desperately to create something to fix the brokenness of the past.

Maybe he needed her just as much as she needed him.

“I’d like that,” she finally says. “I want that.”

He visibly deflates back into his chair. “Ok. There’re a few things we’ll need to talk about, but I’d like to get this started. Could I have the name and contact information from your case worker, so I can talk to her and see what needs to happen?”

“Yeah, sure.” Julie rummages in her bag for the business card her case worker left her. She’s gotten used to carrying everything on her back that’s important, just in case. Pulling it out, she hands it to him.

“Thanks. It’s probably too late to call now, but I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Julie looks at him with hope that still feels a little misplaced, but she can’t snuff it out this time. “Ok.”

. . .

“I think that is a great idea, Steve,” Sarah, Julie’s case worker, says across the line. “I’ve been looking to get her out of that house for a while now but no one else in the school district has an open bed. But if she’s comfortable with it, I have no problem helping you get approved.”

“That’s great,” Steve responds. “Just let me know what I need to do, and I’ll get working on it.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow around noon? We can have a formal, in person chat about everything.”

“I have a day off from work tomorrow, so that works.”

“Great, my office address is on the business card Julie gave you. Looking forward to meeting you in person. See you tomorrow.”

Steve places the phone back on the receiver just for it to start ringing again.

“Hello, Harrington residence,” he answers.

“I still can’t get over how formal you answer the phone,” Eddie says.

“Yeah, well it’s a habit.”

Eddie laughs and it makes Steve’s heart pull. He misses that laugh. “I was just calling to check in on you. We haven’t talked in a few days.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Steve didn’t mean to, it just happened. It was better for him if he didn’t see Eddie as much, that way he could stop himself from doing something stupid. “I’ve been busy dealing with some stuff, but I’m fine.”

“What stuff?”

“I’m working on getting custody of Julie. Or temporary guardianship. Custody is a much longer battle.”

“Holy shit, really? That’s great. As long as if it’s what you want.”

It is what Steve wants, but not all of it. His mind has been all over the place that he’s been neglecting himself. Neglecting his feelings for Eddie. It was his choice to put a pause on this, his choice to only deal with one thing at once. But as he’s working through everything again, he wants to feel like he can have things of his own again.

Robin has been there for him while he works through all of these feelings about his dad. The feelings of neglect and unworthiness. That nothing he can do could make him worthy in his parents’ eyes. And how those transfers to everything else.

Other feelings have bubbled up to the surface along with it. The one-sided breakup with Nancy, how unwanted he felt after that. How it felt that no matter how much he changed, how much he grew, he would never feel worthy of anyone.

Even now with Julie. He’s only been in her life for such a short time. And ever though it wasn’t his fault, he still felt like this wasn’t going to be a permanent thing. No one he was related to ever stuck around for longer than a few months. Why would she do the same thing.

Sometime in the future, she would find a family that could provide for her in the way that she needed. He was disjointed with a multitude of unprocessed trauma in a house that he didn’t own. He was unstable, Julie deserved stability.

“It’s what I want.”

“Good. We should have movie night again tomorrow with Birdie, get your mind off of it. I can bring some stuff too if you want.”

“Yeah, sure. I have a meeting with her case worker tomorrow to talk about how to do this, so I’ll probably need it.”

“See you tomorrow, then. Bye, Stevie. I’ve missed you.” Eddie hangs up the phone before Steve can respond.

There’s an ache in his chest when he hangs up the phone again, regretting everything. All he wants is to call Eddie back and invite him over now. Take everything for himself again. But he knows tomorrow he’s just going to wake up and feel undeserving of it all over again, so he won’t.

He won’t string Eddie along with his pile of insecurities, not now. When everything is settled, maybe then it will all start to fade away, and he can let himself be happy again.

But he needs to work things out with Julie first, then he can focus on himself again.

Chapter 6

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

#stranger things #stranger things fic #long lost/secret sibling #steve has a sibling #steve harrington #julie lawson #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #max mayfield #el hopper #steddie #angst #i don't know which ways home fic

[vomitlover-art]

Art Summary 2023 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Last new years i got really down because every artist I knew was doing year recaps. I decided to avoid that this year, I was gonna try to draw at least one thing every month. I was able to do it thank gosh gdkjfnghjf.

I wasn't able to do an excellent piece every month- sometimes just a sketch. Maybe that should be goal 2024? I'll try to make a really good piece every month.

Here is my favorite art of every month. Thank you for enjoying my art this year aaaaaaaaa thanku thanku aaaaaaaaa

January

Didn't start off strong really. Best thing I did this month was a sketchpage of Q. The campaign she's in started in January and has been going strong since =w=

February

I couldn't design between the two aack. The first was a lil sketch I did when I first started dating Cam. She said she wanted to watch me draw and I couldn't think of anything, so I just started putting together something mechanical aack. You can tell I kinda got tired after just drawing the head .-.

Second was when I was still super into Bocchi. Still am, just haven't drawn any fanart in a while gkfdjhnjgff.

March

"Recipes for Strawberry Jam" was my absolute favorite thing to work on all year I think. This specific page took so long but it all worth it. It was my first serious foray into making a comic, using color, and trying out weird perspectives and I think it worked out so well. I'm really hoping to do more soon =w=

April

This is around the time I switched my sketch paper to a more grey-color rather than a yellow-ish tone aack. I later switch it again to stark white. Road Queen~

May

I drew one (1) thing in May. May is always the worst part of the year aaaa. It starts to get hot again and because I live in the desert that means that life is suddenly unbearable and I have to Deal with all of that.

June

Ultravex! Everyone loves Ultravex =w=

One of the best xenobiology pieces I put together aack. I love designing animals that are fucked up and horrible.

July

Thricefold Judged.

August

Another sketch month. Summer sucks aa

September

Sketch this month, all in prep for Inktober \o/

October

It's hard to pick a fave for inktober, but it's probably the Lavender piece =w=

It was really calming and nice to take my time and work out individual details. I feel weird describing my own art gkjdnhfj I just. liked this one aaa

November

I made a lot of Maleghast necros this month. Was a little sad I didn't get more comms for Deadsouls Necros. It was my favorite one to make ghkfjdhnjgf

December

I was really happy to be able to make a necromancer for the Archivists homebrew house aack. I honestly didn't draw much in Decemeber except for. A lot of vent art I'd rather not share and nsfw art I don't wanna share aack. Almost fumbled it all at the end aaa

This was the first year I made like, any significant living off of commissions. I hope to continue growing next year. Thank you sincerely for following me. It's a little... nerve wracking, but I'm glad to have people aack. I'd like to keep working like this- making art on commissions and ko-fi supporters, and everything helps. It's always been my dream to scrape a living from my art, so, thank you. aaaaaaa

#thank you. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[lunicho]

600 YIPPEEE!!!! Bunny 600 party I’ll bring cookies !!! You deserve all the love 🥺❤️❤️

Thank you for lowkey keeping Lunétumblr alive🫡 I know you don’t write big stuff a lot but all of the drabbles and even agreeing with anon thoughts means a lot to me and I’m sure it means a lot to other Lunés too 🥺

Wishing the best for u as a person and for the blog too 🙏🙏 if things ever get slow don’t worry there’s no rush we’ll always be here 🫡❤️

Would you be ok sharing the story behind how/why u started stanning all the groups you do? Like how you got into BND,RIIZE, etc? Some Bunny lore would be cute 😋

-😵‍💫

600 PARTY LETS GO!!! tysm pookie, you've been here supporting the blog soso much and it means the world to me. i look forward to seeing u around on my blog all the time. i love u so so much!! also what kind of cookies are you bringing!! :o ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I TALK SO FUCKING MUCH 😭

i'm so glad im able to contribute to lunéblr, i genuinely have had so so much fun with all of the teamies anons on here like u guys are hilarious 😭 u guys are also so so consistent here and it means soo much to me seriously <3

i'm wishing the best for you as well, i hope that whatever you decide to do in this world goes well and i hope life treats u well always!

BUNNY LORE!! i love talking so yes, i stan like 89 million groups so i'll do the ones i write for and then u can ask abt other groups i didn't mention if you're curious! also prewarning that literally every group i stan started with me trying not to stan them LMAODGSJ

bnd - i didn't stan them when they first debuted cuz for some reason i always try to stop stanning groups knowing im an addict smh. i also like to give groups a bit to Marinate before i stan so i held off! then in like august last year i started getting funnextdoor tik toks abt leehan and his fishtank and i decided i wanted to watch it for funsies cuz leehan was sooo pretty and so cute so i was curious and uh... yeah that was my first mistake 😭 i full on thought leehan was gonna be my bias but then taesan walked in and snatched me up and bnd is just so addictive i just had to stan. i stuck with bnd because they genuinely make me so happy, they're so fun and they remind me of all the best things about kpop, like i just love them so bad 😖😖 but i officially started stanning them the week after but sometimes came out cuz that song had me hooked 😭 omg i just remembered that their videos kept coming up on my youtube too like the universe was trying to get me to stan since like july 😭

riize - i didn't even attempt to not stan them actually 😭 sungtaro were my nct biases when they debuted so i really really wanted to support them on their new endeavors so i already had plans to at least become acquainted with riize but siren had me MOVINGGGGG 😭😭😭 like i haddd to get in on that like i was Hooked. i couldn't even give them the time to marinate cuz of sungtaro so i just hopped right in 😞 and then my sister started biasing wonbin QUICK and i started biasing anton for like a week and then seunghan collected me 😖 and riize gives me heavy nostalgia so like idk i just love them a lot

&team - i've been supporting them since debut bc enha are one of my ults and ive been familiar with kei since then (i didn't watch iland i just knew abt kei and was familiar with some of the other boys names) and i was so obsessed with under the skin but i didn't end up fully stanning them for a while. i started to learn their names just so i'd know who they were when i see them around and things like that. i didn't start to stan them more until like july last year when i watched more of their content and then i fell off again until like october i think and they quickly became one of my top groups cuz they're so fun idk

zb1 - um i fully wasn't supposed to stan cuz wanna one and jbj disbanding hurted bad enough but while bp was going on i kept seeing clips and THEY HAD ME ROLLINGGG 😭😭 but i was having self restraint ☝🏾🤨 but then sol (adoresol go follow her and send her asks) she told me to watch zb1 content on july 12th 2023 ☝🏾😌 im able to see it in our ig messages LMAODGSJ but i started watching them and learning their names that day, i even told her i liked jiwoong 😖 but yeah then they stuck after that day cuz they make me laugh and they're so fun idk

#⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ bunny chats <3 #😵‍💫 anon #I LOVE TALKING ABT HOW I STARTED STANNING GROUPS ITS SO FUN 😭 #trip down memory lane fr

[buoyantsaturn]

C.J. buoyantsaturn's 2023 year in review

JANUARY

But I can't help getting caught up in it all [12,446 words] summary: Nico, Leo, and Will are living their happily ever after - until an old friend moves back into town.

FEBUARY

Then you hold life like a face between your palms ... and you say, yes, I will take you / I will love you, again. [4,718 words] summary: “You’re still going to marry me someday, right?” Nico’s head snapped up, drizzling paint across the floor as he lifted the roller from the pan too early - which was exactly why they’d chosen to finish up painting first. Nico snorted, a gorgeous sound that sent Will’s heart fluttering. “Of course I am. What kind of question is that?”

MARCH

crocheted mushroom [1,618 words] summary: It had started off with something Will had mentioned in passing - a specific plant that only grew in the Underworld with its own magical healing myth. The next time Nico had gone to run an errand for his father, he returned with the flower, pressed and fragile, blandly announcing to Will that - according to Persephone - the myth was bullshit, even if the flower was pretty.

APRIL

How many kinds of love might there be in the world, and how many formations might they make [5,908 words] summary: Nico turned toward his husband with a smile, crossing his arms over his chest. He took a second to admire the work that Will and Annabeth had done - she’d designed a coop that was a perfect scale replica of the Apollo cabin back at camp, complete with nesting boxes where the bunk beds were placed. Nico called back, “Where do you think we’re going to find magic chickens in the middle of Texas?” Or, five friends who come to visit Nico and Will, and one who doesn't.

MAY

Work and play, they're never okay to mix the way we do [77,579 words] summary: “We don’t have an appointment,” Reyna stated without greeting, lifting her eyes from her computer screen to look at them both, though her hands stayed where they were on her home row keys. “We shouldn’t be long,” Jason replied as he took a seat in one of the chairs opposite her desk. When Nico didn’t move to follow, Jason glanced back at him and nodded to the other open seat. He didn’t speak again until after Nico had sat down. “We want Will Solace to open for Lost Heroes when we go out on our next tour.”

JUNE

Put the Car in Drive (don't stop running 'til you're long gone) [17,487 words] summary: Because, no matter what, Will would always come home to Nico. 

JULY

lemon drops [3,753 words] summary: "Um. Did you ever do the whole…law school…thing, like you said you wanted to? Because I think I might need a lawyer.” 

AUGUST

Doctor Doctor, Give Me the News (I've Got a Bad Case of Loving You) [29,023 words] summary: As he started out from behind the reception area for the first time in four hours, Leo called out to him, “Hey, by the way, Apollo’s doing that thing again where he talks about adding more staff members. Just be prepared, ‘cause you know he’s going to ask your opinion. Since you’re his favorite, and all.”

SEPTEMBER

(all i really want is to be your) Boyfriend [2,941 words] summary: “Nico, you’re never going to believe this!” Hazel exclaimed. “CPR got back together!” Nico turned his face toward the ceiling, wondering what he could have possibly done to deserve this.

OCTOBER

yet i need to talk to you [4,116 words] summary: “Being away from you just makes me think about how I never want to be without you, and--” Nico snorted. “Are you asking me to marry you? Haven’t we done this already?” 

NOVEMBER

Remember nights we spent on hard wood floors [67,859 words] summary: A sudden, tense silence passed between them. “Is it really this easy to start a band?” Lou asked. “Probably not,” Nico replied, “but we should meet up sometime to see what we can do.”

DECEMBER

bear skin rug [1,077 words] summary: Nico spun back around, a bright smile on his face as he said to Will, “See? How cool is--” Black spots danced in his eyes, and before he could say another word, Nico passed out.

#fic rec #solangelo #jasico #will solace #nico di angelo #jason grace #soldezangelace #leo valdez #mine #my writing

[laylakeating]

CREATIONS FROM EVERY MONTH OF 2023! (except october but we're not going to talk abt that !!)

Post your favourite and most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months).

i was tagged by two of the Most talented girlies in the world !! @saw-x and @taiturner ILYYYYY ty for sharing what your brilliant minds came up with this year !!!

JANUARY

MOST POPULAR: britt + karma !! i had so much fun with this set and it was honestly such a good way to start off the year !! FAVOURITE: probably that same set !! also the glee icons pack i made :D

FEBRUARY

MOST POPULAR: from my blog, britt + mike in 207 shsjhs. from teen dramas, brooke in 207 (one of my fave looks of hers) (this was clearly a month for the seventh episodes in second seasons ??) FAVOURITE: barchie + high infidelity for barchiesource !! something a bit different for me creatively but ugh i love it. also glee 514 for gleesource !! again something a lil different !!

MARCH

MOST POPULAR: riverdale returning to television and proving it takes the cake as the funniest show in the world (another rvd is iconic and beyond reproach set for 701) FAVOURITE: a banger month for creative sets !! basically everything i made for barchie week, this unholy trinity MASTERPIECE i made for gleesource, and this djats set + destiny, choice, chance

APRIL

MOST POPULAR: my favourite scene from djats for djats week in green bc apparently i like to make things hard for myself ?? who knew FAVOURITE: again. SO MANY. another month another appreciation week shsjhs. anyway all the sets i made for djats week, more sets for gleesource including santana + valerie and mercedes and santana + river deep mountain high, my santana lesbian visibility set, hsmtmts + tarot cards which took me wayyyy too long to finish, rvd ladies + barbie posters (50s edition), and barchie in 701 for barchiesource in RED (very proud of how it turned out considering i hate giffing in red)

MAY

MOST POPULAR: quinn + tropes for glee appreciation week !! FAVOURITE: everything i made for glee week (there were quite a few bangers), my 2 9-1-1 sets shjshsj - maddie + you first (a banger) and madney + paper rings (another banger), also the first (and only rip) set in my layla episodes series (layla + 101), and this jordayla + proposal foreshadowing i did over on jordayla gifs !!

JUNE

MOST POPULAR: this halle bailey set <33 FAVOURITE: once again. everything i made for all american appreciation week !!! special shout outs to layla + the eras tour and the layla set i made for day 1 !!

JULY

MOST POPULAR: nancy + the wizard of oz horror (that makes sense i swear) FAVOURITE: the aforementioned nancy set, also stancy + persuasion, the little mermaid live action and the quote that made me insane for a few weeks, layla + the lip pout she does (she's adorable), AND last but certainly not least, this pride and prejudice edit which was just nothing like i have ever done before that i LOVEDDDD

AUGUST

MOST POPULAR: ashlyn + giving maddox mouth to mouth (her delivery of AS A FRIEND still sends me into orbit) FAVOURITE: HSMTMTS MONTH BABEYYYYY !! fave sets include (but are not limited to there are too many) gina for hsmtmts week, fave songs (also for hsmtmts week), rina + maybe this time + motion blur (THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG BTW), this antoine set bc he is an icon, madlyn + daylight (still a serve), rina + invisible string (to this day the most insane thing i have ever made), hsmtmts + a meme summary (just your regularly unhinged content honestly), and this jet/maddox set <33

SEPTEMBER

MOST POPULAR: this cinderella 1950 set in pink/blue <3 FAVOURITE: okay so we have ej playing cupid/being a love prophet HSJHSJ, TWO icon packs, one for olivia rodrigo and one for lexie grey, and also the britt + her love for my headband set bc it was the only other thing i made in september and i was worried it'd get lonely

OCTOBER

MOST POPULAR: apparently you have to post something for it to be popular FAVOURITE: i made many sets in my mind dw

NOVEMBER

MOST POPULAR: blair looking excellent (as always) for teendramas !! FAVOURITE: finn + bigger than the whole sky (part of my glee midnights series) (a true labour of love) (still obsessed with it btw)

DECEMBER

MOST POPULAR: percy !!!! for pjosource FAVOURITE: everything i made for 12 days of rina (there are only 5 days rip), and OF COURSE, to round the year off with a bang, the extraordinarily belated 2k celebration set for justine, AKA dair + midnights !!!!!!!!!

tagging some beloveds <3 @alinaastarkov, @jordanlayla, @katherines, @kayascodelorio, @perccyjackson, @yenvengerberg !!

#this fully took me like. an hour to do HSJSHS #ultimately i am my own biggest fan help #anyway TY AGAIN nat and cj this was FUN #MWAHHHHH EVERYBODY HAPPY NEW YEAR