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#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT'S MY MEIJIN!!!!!
beldaroot · 2 years
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“i want to become someone who doesn’t run away... i do want to be my own person.” - chihayafuru chapter 37 & 108
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alexiethymia · 2 years
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ramblings about taichihaya
I’ve finally read the last chapter of the manga, and it was just, it was beautiful.
Incoherent ramblings abound. I felt a bit sad when I read someone post sorry to chihayafuru fans because they were put through an ichiruki situation, because i have always thought there was no such thing as a fated love in Chihayafuru. (Also this is ironic, because while I slightly preferred ichiruki, no way would I say that ichihime was farfetched, in the same way that there is absolutely no way taichihaya was farfetched considering the development, and again ironic because both chihaya and taichi have the sun and moon motif so they actually healed my heartbroken ichiruki heart, but I digress -)
Anyway, I need to process my words. When I say there was no such thing as fated love, I mean that as much as I loved taichihaya, if Chihaya and Arata ended up together, I wouldn’t say that there was no basis. There was such a thing as fated friendship between our trio, but unlike other shoujo manga I’ve read, I wouldn’t consider either Taichi or Arata as Chihaya’s soul mate (I consider the three of them soul mates). Other people have shed insights about how Chihayafuru is a story of transience and youth, and I think the finale maintained that theme until the end (like Arata’s joke for example about wanting to be with Chihaya at 28, as he said the future isn’t set in stone). 
What I loved about the ending is how it was a culmination of everything they were passionate about and fighting against. For Arata and Chihaya who were passionate about Karuta, and for Arata fighting against or for what his Grandfather means in the Karuta he plays now, for Chihaya growing up to be more sensitive to the world outside of Karuta (her wonderful conversation with Retro comes to mind, as well as her gaining a new dream in becoming a teacher). In the same way that this story was all about passion, and for Arata and Chihaya for that passion to be directed towards Karuta, I find that there’s nothing wrong with Taichi’s passion to have been directed at another person - specifically - Chihaya, even as he was fighting against himself.
I loved the finale, because it showed how much the people around Arata and Chihaya, specifically the people who had nothing to do with Karuta, like Arata’s childhood friend and Chihaya’s older sister impacted them and meant so much to them winning. 
As a taichihaya shipper, I really loved the finale because it shows that it’s not just Taichi’s nearness that caused Chihaya to love him back, but at the same time it was him going far away that really puts things into perspective for her. It was just so Chihaya to confess even when she thought that Taichi had already lost his feelings for her. In others words, even if Taichi no longer loved her romantically, his confession impacted her that much that she had to answer it with a poem of her own. 
I love taichihaya not because I was sure it would be canon, but because I just really preferred it, and these are just some of the reasons. 
1. the parallels with harada sensei and his wife, as well as kana-chan and komano
I love parallels, ok? The parallel with harada sensei and his wife actually works two ways, harada sensei paralleling Taichi with the latter also becoming a doctor in the future, and both Chihaya and harada sensei’s wife saying all they wanted was to see their important person smile. It also works the other way around in that both harada sensei’s wife and taichi steadfastly supported their loved one’s drive to become the meijin and queen respectively. 
kana-chan, our beloved taichihaya ship captain. I still remember how she compared chihaya and taichi’s match with her match with komano, and how they were each pair’s best matches precisely because of how well they knew the person they were facing. the irony and not of how it was these two who finally managed to push chihaya and taichi to get together. 
2. the heartaches of love
I love how they each exemplified the highs and lows of love. How Chihaya showed how love could be greedy, in Hanano’s words, and how their experience was reflective of Taichi’s comment about love in the beginning of the series, about how love was painful but you still wanted to be with the other person.
How it showed from the very beginning that even if Chihaya wasn’t fully conscious of it, she had always been jealous of the girls around Taichi, first with his girlfriend, and even in the last chapter when Taichi mentioned Hanano. 
I always mentioned this, even after the angsty confession and break-up (?). Chihaya relies on Taichi like no other. To be honest, they were practically co-dependent. Which is another reason why I loved why everything played out the way it did. Chihaya’s crush on Arata always seemed easy in that it didn’t seem as if she wanted it reciprocated (a happy crush mixed with admiration), meanwhile Taichi needed to confess to have Chihaya reevaluate what he meant to her and how she was supposed to relate to him. 
And yet I’m so happy they made up first, Taichi was finally at peace with himself, and even chose to go somewhere for himself, even if it meant being physically apart from Chihaya.
It shows that Chihaya’s confession was not out of fear that she had to reciprocate to keep Taichi by her side like she wanted because Taichi had reassured her that their friendship along with Arata would remain strong even if she didn’t reciprocate. In other words, their friendship would remain the same, but it was now Chihaya who realized she wanted more.
3. spending your whole youth on it
Taichi’s conversation with Harada-sensei about wasted youth was both about Karuta and Chihaya, and yet despite his fears, he still kept working hard, still kept trying to reach out for the Chiha card. 
The confession and Taichi’s behavior throughout the entire series always screamed to me about how self-sabotaging he really was. He is the one to bring Arata up during his confession. He never acts in a way to get Chihaya to like him because he was already sure that Chihaya loved Arata. 
And despite all that, despite all his fears, in the same way he was sure that he no longer had any luck in the draw, in the same way he was sure that he had no chance with Chihaya, he still loved her anyway, still supported her the best that he could. Wasted effort but one that he no longer considered wasted even if Chihaya never loved him back because he was finally at peace with himself. But of course, he was overjoyed when she said she loved him, because as he said, he would always be helplessly in love with her. 
I’ve always thought that in the same way throughout the story Taichi thought Chihaya didn’t notice him, it was also about Taichi never noticing how much Chihaya noticed him (the towel scene is really symbolic of this). It’s quite ironic how Taichi considers Chihaya dense, when he’s also a bit dense when it comes to Chihaya. 
4. how taichihaya might as well be self-fulfillment for ariwara no narihira and the empress
listen, listen, brilliant people who are more well-versed in poetry have pointed out the parallels between narihira, the empress, the emperor and taichi, chihaya, and arata. It was pretty on the nose with how narihira was even drawn to look a bit like taichi, and now chihaya and arata are the queen and meijin respectively. 
with how shinobu pointed out that the chiha and tachi cards were always paired together, nothing will now stop me from imagining chihaya and taichi as the empress and narihira who were reincarnated and can now be together.
I just really loved them, even way back in the beginning when I was just watching the anime. I was prepared for heartache, but even then, it wouldn’t diminish what they went through, so to have that last chapter is really heartwarming. I’ll probably be rambling more about Chihayafuru once I reread everything. Thank you for these past ten years Sueguetsu-sensei!
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shoujomangathoughts · 10 months
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Chihayafuru Thoughts - How Taichi feels about Arata
The relationship between these two has always been fascinating to me. While the base of their relationship is definitely friendship, they also harbor complicated feelings toward each other. I’m not really going to focus on the romantic “rivalry” they have, although there are instances where that’s a factor. I’ll be using examples from all over the manga so here’s the spoiler warning.
Taichi definitely feels insecure and inadequate in comparison to Arata. The glasses incident is something he thinks of many times throughout the story (in Fukui, at the Yoshino tournament, when he tells Chihaya the truth, etc.) and it’s clear that Arata calling him a coward has led him to try to change that aspect of himself, hence Taichi’s line “I wanna be someone who doesn’t run away”. However, Arata’s karuta prowess also amazes and scares Taichi. Taichi feels as though Arata plays at a level that he himself could never reach, no matter how much time or effort he puts in, and he feels left behind (by Chihaya as well for that matter). There are certain scenes where this is apparent and it reminds me of what Taichi said about Emuro; that he “drew a line” based on their ability, something Taichi seems to do to himself as well.
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This is also why Taichi has at times thought that Arata is more beneficial to Chihaya’s growth in karuta than he could be. He thinks of himself as lacking.
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This insecurity around Arata occasionally causes him to lash out, muttering Arata is his enemy or feeling flustered at the idea of Arata making a team.
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This line, following “Chihaya wants to be on a team with you again, but I don’t”, seems more about how Taichi doesn’t want to play with Arata because he doesn’t want to feel useless next to him like when they were kids (a similar feeling to how Desktomu felt at regionals in their first year). He wants to keep improving and meet Arata as an equal, and he doesn’t see an avenue to that if they played on the same team or if Arata was around more often.
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I’ve seen this scene interpreted as Taichi saying this because the team is something Taichi has in relation to Chihaya that Arata doesn’t, but my view is a bit different. To me, this scene has always been about the fact that Taichi has gained a certain confidence in team matches (being the leader, prioritizing the team winning over his individual win, etc). Part of this confidence probably comes from the fact that Arata doesn’t play on a team, and thus Taichi doesn’t have to use him as a point of comparison, and that confidence would most likely be destroyed if Arata made a team. To Taichi it feels like the one area of katura that he hasn’t had to worry about Arata in is being threatened, hence why he says something snarky.
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Then there’s also the feelings of jealousy that he harbors due to Chihaya’s attachment (oftentimes near idolization) to Arata. Taichi’s love for her often causes him pain because she would bring Arata up a lot and very clearly acknowledged him, whereas Taichi never felt like he was enough as he was and part of him longed for Chihaya to “see” him as well. He seems to think the qualities that Arata has are among those that Chihaya seems to notice in people (and for a while he’s not entirely wrong, karuta freak that she is) and that he himself lacks them. That probably lends itself as to why he seems very touched whenever Chihaya does see him (offering a towel, caring so much about him making Class A, Yoshino, the Taichi Cup, etc.).
However, it’s also clear that Taichi respects and admires Arata as a player and values him as a friend. He cries when Arata returns, calls him for advice after feeling entirely dejected, supports him after Arata defeats him and becomes the Meijin challenger, etc. Taichi just has parts of him that view Arata more negatively and he actively points that out to himself. He uses phrases like “it’s not Arata’s fault” because he understands it’s not Arata himself but rather some of the feelings he’s attached to Arata that make him feel the way he does. However Taichi also accepts some of the negative sentiment he holds for Arata and the rivalry he feels toward him. His feelings toward Arata are well summed up when Taichi says to himself, “I’m happy when I forget you, but I’m encouraged when I remember you”. It’s complicated, and the matches he and Arata played at the Meijin challengers were a nice exploration into how they view each other. Those matches culminated in a nice moment where they realize despite any complicated feelings, they’re grateful to each other.
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Anyway, that was rather long even though I feel like I didn’t say all I initially planned to. I’ll probably make more posts like this, one potentially exploring the opposite of this one; how Arata views Taichi. If you read this far thanks for entertaining my rambles!
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bictator · 10 months
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March Comes in Like a Lion Headcanons Pt. III
i know the characters have canonical heights, i believe. but i will change that in my head. rei is 5’10 (177.8 cm), akari is 5’8 (172.72 cm), hina is 5’4 (162.56 cm), and nikaidou is 5’5 (165.1). 
souya has a conversion disorder. his intermittent deafness is a result of high stress and/or a mental illness (whether it’s anxiety, depression, or ptsd). his loneliness coupled with his high stress position once he became meijin resulted in his deafness. it is a psychological disorder, rather than a physical ailment.
souya is also heavily implied to be autistic. this is due to his special interest in shogi, deep introversion, scripting of conversations, sensory issues, and black-and-white thinking (lots of subtext written in december rain). 
nikaidou is bilingual. he is also fluent in english. this is due to some of his family having moved to the uk. he knows some french as well.
additionally, nikaidou has battled the same disease that satoshi murayama has, the inspiration behind his character. he dealt with nephrotic syndrome as a child and eventually grew out of it; however, it greatly injured his kidneys, leaving them to be much weaker and prone to infection. that is why he still suffers from chronic illness due to his weak kidneys.
the kawamoto sisters all watch the moomins together.
rei becomes a bit of a puzzle fanatic after the events of new years. he challenges himself to complete puzzles that are completely blank. not only does he have kifu scattered about the apartment — he now has puzzle pieces everywhere.
despite how off-putting namerikawa is, together, smith, issa, and yokomizo go out for drinks together. they’ve visited misaki’s shop in ginza, and surprisingly, akari is not afraid of namerikawa at all.
tanaka worries after both nikaidou and rei. from experiences of having sick kids himself, he often feels a parental feeling towards the two. he often looks out for them and goes out of his way to ask about their days, and check up on them. 
takahashi, hina, and rei keep in contact. every so often, takahashi will text to ask how chiho is doing, updating on his goal of becoming a baseball professional, and congratulate rei on his wins.
this is more of a prediction than a headcanon. but the predication is, that rei will become the shishi-ou tournament winner and that he’ll face souya in the finals. this is because 1) he has to narratively face souya once again and, we know this is significant, because souya appears at the end of the chapter “fighter” on the train 2) the english translation is lion king tournament and the title of the manga itself is called “march’s lion” 3) it would be like a full-circle that he become the figurative “lion” of sangatsu-chou (essentially where his family, the kawamoto’s, live) 4) there is narrative reason for shimada to lose against his match with rei because of shimada’s unhealthy mentality with shogi at the current moment and he might learn something from the brightness of rei who is learning to love shogi. 
kouda was deeply emotionally affected by rei’s father’s death. it was a huge factor in him being demoted to b-1 from b-2. that he no longer had his shogi rival and best friend. it left him to view rei as somewhat of a replacement for his father, resulting in him beginning to favor rei. 
nikaidou has a complicated relationship with his father. his father always coddled him and was deeply over-protective, and ultimately, didn’t believe in him, that he could be a shogi player. nikaidou loves his parents, but thinks they view him as unable. which has resulted in a lot of arguments between them. however, because of hanaoka’s insistence, he was able to play. 
rei never cleans his glasses. it is perpetually smudged. hayashida nags on him to clean them and then he realizes that the world is figuratively and literally a brighter place. this was suggested by a friend. 
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lesbian-kyoru · 2 years
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on suo and taichi
the period of time that suo and taichi spend playing karuta together, as well as spending a lot of their non-karuta time together, is genuinely fascinating to me. while i love so many of the relationships and dynamics in chihayafuru, suo and taichi’s is without a doubt my favorite in the series. 
they come from very different backgrounds (with regards to class, location, family, how they’re perceived socially, etc.). they are almost diametrically opposed within the karuta world, too—suo is a five-time meijin, a genius to whom karuta came naturally, whereas taichi continually struggles with being unable to catch up with chihaya, arata, and the other players around him. even with these differences, it’s the striking amount of qualities that they share, both positive and negative, that allow them to form one of the most unlikely yet deep connections in the story. 
while suo initially comes into taichi’s life in a sort of mentor/teacher role, imo calling their dynamic strictly a mentorship would be reductive. setting aside their in-text denial and/or acceptance of the nature of their relationship (truthfully, i don’t think either of them fully knows what to call it LMAO), their relationship actually subverts the typical mentor/disciple dynamic. their innate similarities, as well as their ability to see through each other’s pretenses, allow them to reach an equal ground that you wouldn’t expect. taichi is able to reciprocate the way that suo invested in him, making just as much of an impact on suo and helping him accept himself in turn.
what gets me the most about their dynamic is that taichi, a person who spends so much time trying to escape himself and disguise his shortcomings, is able to be the most real version of himself around suo. the caveat to this statement is that, yes, taichi has pretty much hit rock bottom when he starts spending time with suo… but that rock bottom version of taichi is a part of the real him, and it’s suo’s understanding and acceptance of that part of him that even allows taichi to start playing karuta again, albeit with a new and arguably disingenuous playstyle. getting rejected by chihaya sent taichi into a self-destructive freefall which starts with quitting the karuta club, torpedoing his friendship with chihaya, and throwing himself into his studies. he is absolutely Doing Bad, and he has deeper reasons for believing that he hates karuta, but i’ll get to that in a second.
while most of the emphasis initially is placed on suo becoming taichi’s new light house, suo is also not at a good place in life. he’s very aware of his retinal disease (it’s the reason he hasn’t visited his family in eight years), and he’s fallen into a very nihilistic mindset. while that mindset of letting everything go and not caring is what allows him to demolish his opponents in karuta, it’s something that he’s allowed to seep into his personal life as well. he’s terrified of not making anything meaningful of his life, about not being able to become an outstanding person or someone to be admired; his solution is to project an attitude of total apathy. if he pretends that his goals and pursuits don’t really matter, he won’t have to think about what it would mean to lose them. with his worsening eyesight and losing the ability to play karuta looming on the horizon, he avoids the future at every turn. 
textually he’s in his eighth year of college because of a german class that he can’t pass, but i’d argue that his avoidance of graduating is also by choice. college is comfortable, routine, and allows suo to stall his future in a tangible way. he also plans to retire after his fifth meijin win because he “doesn’t like karuta,” and he would’ve if arata hadn’t begged him not to. because again, it’s easier for him to not care—and there’s no better way to demonstrate not caring than to preemptively quit. his inclination was to quit while he was ahead (and before his eyesight got any worse), rather than confront the pain of potentially losing his title that he actually did value.
this is broadly speaking the set-up we’ve been given for suo and taichi before their paths cross in a meaningful way. it’s not difficult to notice that there are a ton of parallels between them, but the first one that’s acknowledged by the characters themselves is that suo and taichi both “hate karuta.” it occurs in chapter 141, when taichi follows suo after running into him at dinner. suo tells him that he thought taichi was admirable for pursuing karuta around people who were so passionate about it, even though taichi didn’t share that love. 
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this is a very loaded scene to tackle, because neither taichi or suo actually hate karuta. this is explicitly revealed when taichi loses in the challenger match and during the meijin matches for suo, but that doesn’t render this entire scene a falsehood. in fact, taichi’s strong emotional reaction to suo’s words (he cries and then chases after him) conveys that suo was 100% on the mark in understanding taichi’s feelings, despite their limited interactions up to that point.
the key to understanding what taichi “hating karuta” actually means is in the same chapter. he reflects back on harada’s words about spending his entire youth on karuta. this comes after suo’s lecture on words holding power, and taichi decides that harada’s words, which had motivated him for so long, have become a “curse.” in this moment where he’s hit rock bottom, taichi believes that harada’s words trapped him into a futile pursuit of karuta. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that taichi was miserable for the two years he was in the karuta club; those times were absolutely precious to him, even if it’s hard for him to see that in his post-rejection depressive spiral. 
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rather, the reason taichi ended up seeing karuta as a “cursed” was because he felt he lacked the passion that everyone else, particularly chihaya and arata, innately had for karuta. he didn’t actually lack this passion, or else literally most of his actions in the story wouldn’t have happened. but imo taichi, who is normally incredibly self-aware, has a huge blindspot: he prioritizes others’ needs and dreams ahead of his own, which he does realize, but he doesn’t recognize how that causes him to unconsciously strip his own dreams of their value. 
it’s a bit of a cyclical problem: because he doesn’t think his own goals matter, he has to push himself to prioritize them. but because it doesn’t come naturally to prioritize himself, he sells himself short and assumes that he must not want to win as badly as everyone else. especially since his two best friends have been so single-mindedly committed to karuta (and more skilled than him) since they were kids, taichi undermines his own love for karuta and then feels isolated by that self-perception.
this is where suo comes in and helps taichi make a breakthrough with some well-intentioned nihilism. there’s a lot of nuance to suo and taichi’s relationship in general, but particularly in the way that they meet. suo and taichi truly meet when they’re both in a toxic and dark place, and you could argue that they enable each other to both lean into that darkness or toxicity—and hear me out, they do, but it’s in a way that ultimately impacts them both for the better. even though they both experience a lot of joy and mutual understanding in their time spent together, it’s through being at their worst together that they’re able to move forward at all.
as much as suo is regarded as taichi’s mentor and teacher, he is far from a wise sage teaching taichi the ways of the world. for one thing, that is really overselling suo’s grasp on being a functional person—he has just as many toxic coping mechanisms as taichi, if not more. second, that is overselling how much suo taught or influenced taichi. 
coming back to their first substantial conversation in chapter 141, suo doesn’t actually tell taichi anything new. it was all beliefs that taichi already held about himself, but refused to admit about his own self-perception. he already had internalized that he didn’t love karuta like the people around him, he already was predisposed to preferring to give up and not care rather than potentially fail, he already felt different and unable to go on playing karuta the way that he was.
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therefore, what actually happens in this scene is that suo immediately clocks these insecurities that taichi prefers to not think about, and he voices them. he sees taichi and the secret he’s tried to hide from his friends—that he doesn’t love karuta like they do—with startling clarity. and then suo accepts that about him. what’s more, he tells taichi that that’s okay, because he’s the same: he also doesn’t like karuta. this accomplishes a few purposes narratively.
at his absolute worst, taichi is seen for exactly who he is, the most real and undisguised version of himself (again, this is complicated by the fact that taichi and suo both loved karuta all along, but in the moment suo is exactly on the mark about how taichi views himself, regardless of what becomes of those beliefs later), and he receives acceptance. taichi spends so much of the story wishing to be someone else, anyone else, because escaping himself—becoming someone else entirely who doesn’t have his flaws—sounds easier than overcoming those obstacles. but as taichi grows, he develops a desire to strive for self-improvement and becoming the best version of himself. in chapter 108 he expresses this: he doesn’t want to be a coward anymore, but he also doesn’t want to run from the person he is. 
thus, the acceptance that taichi receives from suo is a huge step on that winding path towards accepting himself. for someone to immediately see through his carefully constructed facade down to the very core of who he is—not to mention, to be told that suo finds him admirable—is distressing and shocking to taichi. however, it also serves as a breakthrough for him. this isn’t the first time taichi has dropped his pretenses around suo, either—earlier on when he lied about being chihaya’s boyfriend, he felt compelled to come clean about it the next time he saw suo. we get the sense that for whatever reason, taichi feels like he can be an honest version of himself around suo (this is huge for a character like taichi), and that suo admires taichi’s ability to let his guard down around him.
the second purpose this scene on the staircase serves is that, after acknowledging and accepting taichi at his worst, suo tells him that they’re the same. after finding this out, taichi looks up at suo in awe; even though suo also dislikes karuta, he’s “invincible on the tatami.” up to this moment, taichi’s image of a good karuta player was someone who loved it immeasurably. he’s never been presented with a different type of player. what’s more, he’s never considered that someone like him could reach the meijin’s level. that, when all is said and done, is what held taichi back, more than any perceived lack of skill. that’s the reason he’s able to go back to karuta training with suo. their huge gap in skill doesn’t deter taichi; what matters is that they both feel no passion for karuta, and with that commonality, taichi no longer thinks it’s impossible to reach suo’s level.
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the period of time where suo and taichi train together is tricky to break down because, even during taichi’s self-proclaimed villain arc which is spurred on by suo’s nihilistic tendencies, taichi experiences a lot of growth and does reach a better place—just not in the way you’d expect. he grows in a nonlinear way, almost getting way worse before he can get better. 
the visual emphasis on darkness and light in suo and taichi’s dynamic extends to the narrative as well. their relationship and how they behave around each seems self-contradictory, paradoxical in nature. through a shared “apathy,” they play karuta together for hours, for days, for weeks at a time. taichi reflects on how he assumed being by suo’s side would feel painful due to his genius, but again, the ways that they’re similar make taichi feel more at home than ever before. even if it’s only with the intention to mess with the other players, it’s in large part due to his practice with suo that taichi is able to become the eastern representative at all. in a twisted way, obfuscated by the pretense that they both don’t care about karuta, suo is the reason taichi is able to fall in love with karuta again (and later, taichi bringing suo’s family to the meijin match is a catalyst for suo to do the same). 
during one of their practice matches in chapter 150, taichi thinks to himself “now that i’ve separated myself from the team, now that i’m alone and on my own, for the first time in my life i’m actually having fun playing karuta.” this line is pretty layered, but ultimately i do think that taichi is being sincere here. the line about leaving the team is evidence of him still working through a lot of his insecurities. obviously, he loved chihaya and the karuta team a lot and is trying to stomp out the pain that situation caused him by pretending he always hated it. 
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even so, taichi genuinely enjoys playing suo or else he wouldn’t be there. in fact, at this point in the story taichi has inaccurately internalized that he only pretended to love karuta in order to stay by chihaya’s side. if that was true, nothing would’ve been able to bring him back to karuta after he was rejected and quit the karuta club.
imo, suo also wouldn’t waste his time playing against taichi if he didn’t truly want to. he’s drawn to seek out taichi in part because he also hones in on their similarities. even more, suo has a reputation for making other players hate karuta, leaving him with very few people that want to play against him consistently. since taichi also “hates karuta” like him, losing against suo doesn’t deter taichi; he can’t grow to hate something that he already doesn’t care about. this ends up being incredibly freeing for taichi. 
in fact, earlier in chapter 150, hyoro thinks as he’s playing against chihaya during nationals, “come back, mashima. i’m lonely. being by the talent’s side is so painful”—but that doesn’t appear to be a feeling that taichi shares. in direct juxtaposition, the next page has taichi reflecting that he “thought being by meijin suo’s side would be more painful,” with the implication that he hasn’t found his time with suo to be painful at all. it’s clear from their playful banter, from taichi’s relaxed, open body language around suo, from the ease with which they ask each other personal questions (and then never answer them). even though taichi constantly loses against suo, he genuinely wants to be there with him. this is actually huge for a character like taichi, who will avoid losing at any cost. taichi’s uphill karuta battle against suo just doesn’t seem to phase him at all, because again, regardless of their gap in skill, their similarities and shared lack of passion have given taichi all the hope and satisfaction he needs to keep playing right now.
that’s ultimately the point i’m working toward with regards to the paradoxical nature of suo and taichi’s relationship: even though their deep bond is forged through apathy, through pretending to not care, through reveling in the worst parts of each other—they still find immense understanding in each other, and a lot of happiness and joy in playing karuta together. 
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as i was writing this, i actually thought of something i’ve heard in therapy a lot: it’s unhealthy to continually lie to yourself about your own emotions. it’s a lot healthier to let yourself be honest and feel what you feel, even your most negative emotions—and that’s what i think suo gives taichi the space to do in this arc. although taichi (and eventually suo) both come around to acknowledging that they do love karuta, in his post-rejection depressive spiral it was actually very important for taichi to let himself feel his feelings, especially when it came to karuta. he had formed such a complex about his self-efficacy, hinging his worth on whether he won or lost, but imo he never really let himself acknowledge those darker feelings because the people around him loved karuta wholeheartedly. 
in the time taichi spends with suo, the unconditional acceptance that suo gives him is what frees taichi to start being a more honest version of himself. truthfully, if taichi hadn’t encountered suo and started playing with him, i doubt he would’ve started playing karuta again at all, at least not in high school. even if his villain era contained its own falsehoods and missteps, it was still an important step. this mindset was crucial for taichi to work through so that when he did come back to loving karuta and holding it dear, it wasn’t something that he forced himself to do. it was a conclusion he came to on his own, because he truly does love karuta and always has—but he was only able to reach this point because he played alongside suo. alongside someone who didn’t trigger his self-imposed inadequacies about not caring enough, or constantly make him feel that he wasn’t passionate enough. taichi ends up finding a karuta that isn’t solely harada’s, nor is it just a copy of suo’s nasty style; it’s taichi’s most authentic karuta, the honest version of himself that he always hoped to grow up to be.
writing this is making me emotional LMAO but it’s really reaffirmed to me how, as convoluted as their dynamic is, as much as suo and taichi sidestep around what they really feel and communicate in very guarded ways, the bond that they form is so unconditional. they understand each other for exactly what they are, and they push each other to be more truthful—but they also let each other exist in that bitterness, that indifference when they both need to. they hear each other in the quiet, and they live in the same shadows, and it’s that quiet understanding that lets them pull each other towards light. 
taichi felt like suo could see the darker parts of his personality, his flaws and insecurities, and still accept them. taichi could play a karuta with suo where he didn’t feel like he had to be more like the people around him. through this experience, taichi was able to admit to himself that he did love karuta after all. furthermore, because suo helped taichi reach this realization himself, taichi was able to help suo come to the same realization. 
a lot of why their relationship is so powerful, and why they’re able to impact each other so profoundly, is because taichi and suo both loved karuta so much all along, but they didn’t, but they did. even though they played karuta together under the pretense that they both didn’t like karuta, they did. that’s why that time they spend playing together, in spite of its blatant nihilism and mutual toxicity, feels like a genuinely happy and special time that they share. 
while i selfishly would’ve loved to get one last scene between them in the final chapter of the manga, there’s actually something incredibly poignant to me in the way they don’t speak. taichi never gets the chance to plainly tell suo that he in a way saved taichi, as dramatic as that sounds; suo never gets to thank taichi for bringing his family to the meijin match, for giving suo just as much as suo gave to him. i love that this final cathartic moment is left entirely unspoken, because it’s so true to them.
i also love how utterly selfless this lack of a final scene renders their relationship as a whole. suo, who never seemed to care about much of anything, invested so greatly in taichi that he was able to become a karuta player who could challenge arata; taichi, who struggled with acting selflessly and then resenting when he didn’t get anything in return, goes to nagasaki behind suo’s back because he knows suo wants to see his family. the fact that there’s no “thank you,” no direct acknowledgment of these acts (particularly in taichi’s case) is incredibly powerful to me. in chapter 150, we learn that taichi said, “he can now hear suo-san’s quiet voice loud and clear”—and to me, these selfless acts of quiet care between them, an unspoken and understated connection, truly exemplify that idea.
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suo and taichi absolutely hold the time they spent playing karuta together—their convoluted mentor/disciple dynamic—as dear, regardless of how they act like it doesn’t matter. it takes a long time before they can acknowledge that karuta, and by extension the time they spend playing together, meant a lot to both of them. they went through their worst together, but they absolutely changed each other for the better.
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Mini ramble time because Suetsugu-sensei does not look at Tumblr but GOD is it satisfying to hear that Chihaya always had feelings for Taichi confirmed by her on stream. This was always my reading of Chihayafuru. I just used to preface this with “maybe” because I always got blasted to hell when I said that!!
To me it’s always been very clear for the first part of the manga Chihaya has conflicting feelings for both Arata and Taichi. Hence why she didn’t know how to respond to Taichi’s confession: she realized that both of her best friends confessed their feelings for her. There she was in the middle of it not really knowing how she felt for either of them. Most importantly she didn’t want to hurt either boy’s feelings !! (And no her saying I will always like Arata and Karuta was NOT her saying that she loved Arata cdndjd otherwise she WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM!)
It wasn’t that she rejected Taichi because she had NO feelings for him or that they were completely platonic - only that she didn’t understand them yet… the fact that studying the Hyakunin isshu is what made her understand her feelings and finally find a way to express them.. god I might cry.
Meanwhile when she responded to Arata’s confession she said “this is what is going on in my life right now” and left out the part about loving him back lol. Like at that point she had already figured out she didn’t like him in the same way he liked her. That’s why reading the Meijin Queen matches with this in mind makes so much more sense when looking at their interactions (my god are they purposely awkward LMAO). It also makes sense why Chihaya didn’t reach out to him in between qualifiers / the Meijin queen matches maybe b/c she had already rejected him… lmao.
Anyways a lot of these thoughts I want to talk about in depth I just had to put out there WE WERE RIGHT!! The illiterate fools were right 😌
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nyoomzz · 2 years
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i!! have three specific scenes from arata, chihaya and taichi's pov that to me is the core of the trio's relationship of what they mean to each other + how they express their love in their own ways as means to reach the promise of their childhood days. to be together again!!
first is arata.. it's this one asdfghkl
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arata was so fixated on a team and no one understands why. he's strong enough on his own. his goal was meijin, everyone said he shouldn't waste time on something like team tournaments. but he wanted to understand, he wanted "to give back all the things i received from chihaya and taichi" like that's how much he treasured them in his life, pushing him to get out of his comfort zone to discover something he once renounced so easily.
and then you'd think back that arata wouldn't even be playing karuta anymore if chihaya and taichi didn't crash back (literally) into his lives, reminding him of how much it means to him, that it carries his memories of his grandpa with it. and that for the longest time the image of them together was what holds him there, the most fun he has ever had playing karuta.
he repaid chihaya and taichi by making them his strength to move forward, even if he soon have to part with the image of the room they played in together as kids in order to win. "it's because i want some things badly that i would let go of them" as in he's taking a step ahead because he wants to understand what what makes a team so special, striving for a future where the three of them can be together again.
next is chihaya! look at this this absolutely gorgeous spread from third year hs tournament omg i'm so obsessed
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the "chiha" card was read and it was a dead card, but in that moment chihaya saw taichi in the audience, newly arrived after they avoided each other for so long--and chihaya, who was playing the role of mizusawa's captain, was instantly brought back to the moment of their childhood, leading her to finally see arata in front of her properly: both taichi and arata's presence took her back to the room that first sparked her love for karuta.
she could play as herself again!! smiling but still pushing through with her team. "do you see arata? do you see taichi? these are my friends" as she and the rest of misuzawa took their wins. chihaya has always been the driving force of their trio, the one who pushes them to be together no matter what, who has waited twice as both arata and taichi left the other two behind karuta. she's showing them what a team can achieve, and how far her determination has taken her, and that it all started with the three of them.
and finally this ahahah this page is a personal fav of mine
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at this point, taichi knows he's already out of the match when it comes to karuta. he already gave his all, devoted his entire youth, and came out of it with the realization that it is dear to him after all. but that's as far as he could go and he knew this. and in classic taichi manner, he avoided going to oumi jingu altogether, thinking himself not worthy to be there--even though he wants to see chihaya's dream come true from up close, and see arata wins against suou as someone who loves karuta.
but still he went and prayed. for two people. for their dreams to come true. for chihaya not to shed bitter tears. "really, people can only pray honestly for other people" is what to me a form of love in its selflessness, where taichi lets his genuine feelings came across while also demeaning his own worth for them in the process.
extra that once he actually did reach urayasu it immediately changed everything for both arata and chihaya. he didn't realize it yet, he thought they wouldn't need him--but still he wished for their sake selflessly, not knowing of how much his presence means for them.
so!! they are soulmates and they love each other and if you can't see that it's your loss <3 when the last panel of the series is of the three of them holding hands you'll all see
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luminisvii · 3 years
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RATING! ALL! THE CHAR CLONES!
i love char and gundam loves him too so because i am BORED i'm gonna rate all characters that the wiki tells me qualifies as a char clone!
many of these men will be rated on aesthetics and their wiki blurb alone since i have not watched all gundams
i tried to include pics but it SAID i can only use ten. WHAT? how am i supposed to rate how sexy they are?
Char Aznable
the man. the myth. the legend. i love him so much. hes super fucking hot bc of how bad he is. like an absolute madlad he goes around destroying the zabis and giving amuro hell. hes so good that despite being on team evil he regularly tops popularity polls and is widely regarded as being super attractive. im asexual but i agree. char is supreme. he and his red mobile suits cannot be topped. 20/10
Quattro Bajeena
now, char might be evil, but this guy is totally a stand up dude who is definitely not char. and the hyaku shiki? top tier. also very sexy. maybe char should take a lesson or two from this lovely man. 18/10 could not possibly be char himself
Glemy Toto
i have not watched ZZ. this dude upholds the tradition of stupid ass names in gundam. he just kinda look like hes a good person, though, which would be nice, but i prefer the evil men here. 6/10 love the idiotic name
Afranche Char
apparently a literal char clone. don't give a fuck. 1/10
Carozzo Ronah/Iron Mask
this guy really takes the mask thing seriously. i have also not watched F91. i love the just robot lookin mask and the purple color scheme. 8/10
Anavel Gato
this guy is kind of a chump. i get the feeling i'm supposed to find gato very cool, but all i could see was a total loser pushover as long as it was in the name of zeon. although to be fair, he was basically one of the most enjoyable characters in the mess that is stardust memory. 7/10 too much of a zeon apologist
Chronicle Asher
i called gato a chump but this guy looks like a tool. hes got the mask! i know nothing about victory gundam but this guy looks like, okay. 5/10
Schwarz Bruder
im ignoring the other guy listed with him on the wiki bc Herr Bruder is in fact, awesome. he isn't on team evil like some others, but he doesn't need to be. hes a JESTER NINJA. what's not to love? somehow, despite me thinking i knew the twist that was coming, he was still full of surprises. you cannot possibly predict the actual twist here. he really teaches domon how to get shit done. 15/10 absolutely sublime take on the trope
Zechs Marquise
not only is he voiced by takehito koyasu, but he chars so hard he chars three times as fast! we LOVE his dedication to being a char clone. i will never forget how treize challenged him to a fair fight and he was just like nah lmao. you go you stinky man! 10/10 for char-ing hard
Lancerow Dawell and Jamil Neate
i am fascinated by after war X and i'll watch it one day. it seems like the wiki is confused about these two and is going with very surface level details for these two being char clones. however i'll rate them both higher bc i think mr. neate's sideburns and glasses are just top tier character design. 9/10
Harry Ord
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10/10
Rau le Creuset
i think i saw him in the like three episodes of SEED i watched. he definitely looks the part. seems kinda lame though. 6/10
Athrun Zala
this kid is hilarious, and also the most likable character i met in SEED, and he even has a quattro phase as he goes by alex dino! we'll give him points for effort. 9/10 you tried
Neo Roanoke
definitely not mu la flaga. hes also voiced by takehito koyasu. his mask looks kinda dumb, but i think the long hair look upgrades my man mu. takehito koyasu makes everything sexier. 8/10 bc i also simp for dio brando
Rey Za Burrel
how many char clones does the SEEDverse have? i do appreciate rey's early 2000s brooding anime boy look, though. 5/10
Gilbert Durandal
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SEED CHARS!!! this guy doesn't even look like a char clone, but he has the same voice actor and also apparently tries to drop shit on earth. we stan a king, honestly. 6/10 being in SEED deducts points
Hal Vizardt and Vladi Zarth
the wiki wont even give me a picture of these guys. 2/10 they get a point each
Ali Al-Saachez
i hate this guy. he sucks. normally i would find such endless villainy entertaining, but ali simply cannot work it in a way that's fun to watch or even in a way where you're like 'he's got a point.' he just sucks and i wish he could have been funny. we already have a char clone in graham anyway, so why are you here? bitch. 0/10 i was waiting for him to die
Graham Aker
he has all the tropes of being a char clone, and i loved him at first bc of his flair for drama and poetry, but alas! he got more and more sidelined for a different motherfucker. it's okay graham, i still love you! your mr. bushido phase was hilarious! 9/10 you deserved so much more
Full Frontal
hes getting points for the hilarious name but thats it. he is otherwise very boring. you cannot make me love a man just bc he is a literal char clone. 3/10
Zeheart Galette
AGE is also on my "deeply fascinated" list. eventually, eventually. i kinda dig this one's look. 7/10
Tatsuya Yuuki
initially, i hated yuuki bc i thought he was beating on middle schoolers for fun, but then i learned the dude is so goddamn passionate about gundam that he HAS to share it with others and honestly? king shit. while he's technically a char clone, i think he's actually a graham aker clone. the dude stans 00. an admirable position to be in. i love yuuki so much and hes my favorite build fighters character. 15/10 i will always respect the meijin
Captain Mask
the name is hilarious. hes got a cool mask too. i'll maybe watch recon one day bc of how ridiculous the reputation is. 8/10
Lady Kawaguchi
the rare female one, and proves that the kawaguchi name requires you to be extra as fuck. compared to yuuki's raw passion, she's cool and knows it, and doesn't need to flex. sadly doesn't get to do a lot. 10/10
McGillis Fareed
MCGILLIS MY BELOVED!!!! perhaps the only char clone that matters. this dude brings back the classic level of backstabbing, the supreme attractiveness, and in general, being an awful person. but i can't help but feel for the guy. he was trying his goddamn hardest to overturn a fucked up system. he also simply could not fathom having friends. mcgillis might only do the mask thing for a little and also wears a wig (McWiggis) but i forgive him, because the moves he does in bael are truly sexy. i adore mcgillis i have to rate him high but he cannot overtake the classic. 19/10 would let him betray me
Kyoya Kujo
even the wiki doesn't seem confident in this one. i like his look though. hes kinda got some gentle eyes, so i will assume he's the more quattro flavor of things. 6/10
Masaki Shido
BRUHHHH HE LOOKS LIKE A KNIGHT. 10/10
Honorable Mentions:
Master Asia
i didn't think he truly qualified as a char clone. he hits the villain thing and technically has some ideals aligned with char ? but he's a little too different. lacks majority of the archetype tropes. i still love him though 9/10
Vidar
hes got a mask and wants revenge. definitely not gaelio. the problem is, we already have mcgillis in IBO. i just don't register gaelio as being a char clone, because mcgillis is out here being the worst. gaelio is a wonderful character in his own right for all the opposite reasons that mcgillis is fantastic for being the worst. 10/10 i want nothing but the best for him
Ulube Ishikawa
just bc he has a mask covering half his face and is evil doesn't mean he's a char clone, wiki! and how dare you take away from schwarz just to be like "well ulube has a mask" WE HAVE ONE ALREADY!!! i also hate ulube. he is not a particularly charismatic character, but he isn't supposed to be. 2/10
and thus is my arbitrary ranking of the char clones. some people think char clones are bad. i for one, love them! i hope future entries have more masked men.
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stellacolletore · 3 years
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i. kanade finds chihaya alone in the club room
Finding Chihaya sprawled on the tatami mat is a sight Kanade did not know she missed until she sees it again. It is late in the afternoon and the club meeting is cancelled as the members need to pore over their studies for exam week. She herself is about to go home, but her footsteps had drawn her here before she could even think of a reason why.
She enters the room and settles on the space beside Chihaya.
“What brings you here, Chihaya-chan?”
Chihaya’s eyes spring open in surprise. She must have been in deep thought, Kanade notes. Her friend’s outstanding hearing allows her to quickly sense them whenever they’re around that Kanade’s long used to being on the receiving end of her greetings.
Chihaya sits up, turning towards her. “Kana-chan…” she pauses for a second. “I needed somewhere to think, that’s all.”
It’s understandable. In between the whirlwind of last weekend’s Meijin and Queen matches and the upcoming university entrance exams, there are merely a few moments for Chihaya to take in everything that has been happening. Indeed, this quiet hour in the club room is the perfect time and place for mulling over pensive thoughts. Still, something is telling her she shouldn’t leave Chihaya alone just yet.
Kanade lies down on the tatami mat. “This is nice,” she announces to the startled girl beside her. With a hint of wistfulness, she admits, “I should have done this more often.”
“But it’s really an unladylike thing to do and you’re a graceful girl, Kana-chan, so there’s nothing to feel sorry about!” Chihaya supplies immediately, her sincerity bringing a fond smile to Kanade. Laying back on the floor again, Chihaya mutters, “You know, I’m not sure if it’s possible for me to ever become a graceful girl. Or even understand how it is to be like one.”
The concerning tone of her voice prompts Kanade to ask. “What have you been thinking about earlier, Chihaya-chan?”
Kanade could feel Chihaya stiffen slightly beside her. A few seconds pass before she hears a muted reply. “I was thinking about what should I have said to Taichi when…when he told me he loved me before.”
Eh?! So he did tell her?! That explains a lot of things but—when did that happen? How? It took all her self-control for Kanade to conceal the dizzying questions in her mind. Feigning a calm demeanor, she asks instead, “I see. Do you perhaps regret what you said to him back then?”
“I don’t know,” Chihaya answers, seemingly frustrated at herself. “I just know it was wrong because it hurt him enough to leave karuta, to leave the club, to leave…me.”
“Oh, Chihaya-chan.” Kanade loves Chihaya for all that she is; however, she can’t deny not hoping to have a conversation like this with her dear friend, one who has long been entangled in matters of love whether or not she’s ready to welcome it. Nevertheless, it is worrying to witness her perpetually cheerful friend in distraught. It’s clear that Chihaya had been deeply affected with President Mashima’s previous departure, but she evidently had no clue about the extent that feeling went. Attempting to provide some level of comfort, Kanade says, “But he’s come back now. Everything’s fine.” She looks over Chihaya, only to find a weary expression on her face. It’s not, it seems to say.
A new understanding dawns on Kanade. If she understands this correctly, then…
“You are worrying about what happens after you two graduate, aren’t you?” Chihaya’s open expression tells her she’s right. Kanade pushes on, “Chihaya-chan, even though you and President Mashima are going to different universities, it’s still possible to meet with each other. You can ask him to eat with you or to play karuta at the Shiranami society when there’s time. Unless…” It’s now or never, Kanade thinks as she finds her voice again, “…that wouldn’t be enough for you?”
Kanade fixes her gaze at Chihaya, determined not to miss her reaction. Chihaya’s eyes are open wide, and Kanade’s sure that the intention behind her question got through to her. Then, most unexpectedly, she covers her face with her hands as starts to snivel. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Not when he says his feelings for me have faded away.”
So she’s heard us before?  Pushing aside the thought, she focused on consoling her friend. “Look at me, Chihaya-chan,” Kanade waits for her to heed her request before continuing. “You trust me to know things about poetry and love, and so I want you to believe me when I tell you this: President Mashima is lying. I could tell that he still loves you. So tell him what you wish to let him know, Chihaya-chan.” Kanade gives her an encouraging smile, her own heart soaring in happiness for her friends.
Chihaya takes a steadying breath, appearing soothed, but then she’s overcome with another worry. “I can’t.”
“It’s not that hard, Chihaya-chan. You just have to tell him you want him to stay with you and—” Kanade’s advice is cut off at the sight of Chihaya shaking her head. “No. I can’t tell him anything.”
It’s Kanade’s turn to be baffled. “What do you mean—?”
Chihaya’s face crumples as she suddenly wails, “I can’t tell him anything because I can’t find him anywhere! I’ve been searching for him this whole week and he’s nowhere—not in the library, or his cram school entrance, and I can’t bother him during class…” She collapses on the tatami mat once again, “At this rate, I won’t ever see him ‘til graduation! And only to tell goodbye!”
Before she could stop herself, Kanade bursts into laughter. Chihaya looks at her, petulant. “Kana-chan!”
Wiping at the moist in her eyes, Kanade explains, “Sorry, Chihaya-chan. You’re right, Prez isn’t around right now—but only because he’s on ‘house arrest’ for the week, as Nishida-kun calls it.”
“Huh?”
“Prez has his entrance exam this weekend, and since he took the time to watch someone play last Saturday,” Kanade gives her a playful wink, “his mother had him locked him up in his room to catch up on his studies. According to Tstutomu-kun, even his phone was confiscated.”
Chihaya was awestruck for a whole five seconds before being the one to dissolve in laughter this time around. “Mrs. Pressure must’ve been terrifying.” Chihaya proceeds to stand up and stretch her arms as if she’s detaching herself from the things that worried her. Beaming at Kanade, she declares, “Well, if Taichi’s doing that much and he’s already smart, I may have to start seriously studying for my exams. All right, let’s go home!”
Before leaving their separate ways as they head for their respective train stations, Chihaya asks Kanade for a favor. “Kana-chan, if you’re free this Saturday…can you and Sumire-chan help me make chocolates again?” Kanade’s sure about the reason behind the request, but decides to indulge in the happiness of hearing Chihaya say it. “Of course, Chihaya-chan. Do you want to host another Valentine’s Day picnic at the club?”
Chihaya stammers out, blushing all the while. “T-that’s a nice idea, Kana-chan! But I actually wanted to make some for Taichi—as a congratulations present. For taking the exam. And, um,”—Kanade’s internally squealing at how adorable Chihaya tries to convey herself—“I needed a reason to tell him what you told me to tell him.” Kanade holds Chihaya’s hands, “Everything’s going to be alright, Chihaya-chan.”
In the train on the way home, Kanade recalls the turn of events at the club room. Looking up at the full moon behind the train windows, she thinks of two poems that resonates with them:
Even for a time/Short as a piece of the reeds/In Naniwa’s marsh
We must never meet again:/Is this what you are asking me?
Though I would hide it/In my face it still appears—/My fond, secret love.
And now he questions me:/“Is something bothering you?”
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seirity · 4 years
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Chihaya 3 episode 23 reactions and thoughts on Taichihaya: Part 1 - How it came to be
I just watched this episode and I’m currently spazzing out at how well Madhouse executed this episode with only a few minor complaints.
WARNING: There will be spoilers ahead, so please do not read any further if you have not watched this episode or read the manga up to this point.
First off, IT HAPPENED!! Taichi has finally confessed to Chihaya!! While there were some scenes in the confession where the animation was spotty at best, the vast majority of it was superb. I especially liked the moment where it finally hits Chihaya that Taichi really likes her and that is the reason why he always goes off and does his own thing alone, without her.
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To be honest, I really like the anime’s pacing and how they chose to animate things. I really feel like they flushed things out properly, which helped the audience gain a better understanding of what actually happened. You can tell a lot of thought was put into where and for how long certain scenes would play out, resulting in certain events having more of an impact on the audience. I will say that I did love how by having a slower pace, we were able to see all the amazing animation effects that sensei intended to include in the manga, but was unable to do due to the fact there are certain things that can only be done using animation.
But before I go into any more details about the confession, let’s back up and take a look at what lead up to this momentous occasion.
In the anime, there is such a beautiful, clear progression in the plot that leads up to Taichi’s confession. First, there is a very clear focus on how Chihaya reacts to Taichi doing things in secret without telling her anything (i.e. Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup). Chihaya is visibly distraught over the fact that Taichi is staying behind after the Meijin/Queen matches to play in the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup, but it’s Kana-chan who forces her to think about why Taichi didn’t tell her what he was planning on doing and why he does that. If Kana-chan didn’t force her to do this, Chihaya most likely would just lamented about the fact that Taichi is one step ahead of her. Chihaya actually tries to understand why Taichi did what he did and to determine his reasons behind his actions up until her first match at the New Year’s Karuta Tournament in Tokyo.
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This is a huge step for Chihaya in her character development, especially since the only thing Chihaya cares about is karuta. She doesn’t think about anything else besides karuta and Sudo-san even makes a comment about this at the end of the New Year’s Karuta Tournament’s finals where he tells her:
“I’ve thought about this before, but it seems like your mind is completely empty even though you’re taking everything in that’s happening around you. How the hell do you do it? I guess sounds are easier to hear when your mind is completely empty.” (disclaimer: this is my own personal translation of what he said since I feel like the translation in the episode didn’t really do the scene justice or convey what actually happened)
For me, this is significant because it proves that Chihaya is slowly on the path to realizing Taichi is an important person in her life.
In the following episode after the New Year’s Karuta Tournament and the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup, Taichi is at the forefront of Chihaya’s thoughts. She notices that he is simply going through the motions of playing karuta and his heart isn’t really in it and wants to ask him so many different questions: “Why did he enter the Prince Takamatsu Memorial Cup alone? How did his match go against Arata?” But she realizes she can’t ask him any of these things anymore, even though he’s so close to her.
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Even when the girls are making chocolates for the boys, Chihaya suddenly bursts into tears after they talk about how even Taichi would barf if he was given fermented squid on Valentines Day, despite how nice he is.
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In the end, it comes back to Chihaya wondering why Taichi always has to go off and do things on his own even though it’s more fun doing things with everyone else. The only difference here is that she wants him to smile. This is a big deal for Chihaya and another instance in which she has such a huge character development. Up to the this point, Chihaya has always been selfish and karuta is the only thing on her mind. The fact that she is completely distraught over how depressed Taichi is and how much he seems to be suffering alone proves that she’s finally thinking of someone else for once. She’s thinking of someone else’s feelings. The girl that only thinks about karuta is earnestly and wholeheartedly thinking about someone else and their happiness for a change. This isn’t the butterflies she gets when she remembers Arata’s confession or her desire to understand how Arata is able to play the way he is. She wants Taichi to smile. She wants Taichi to be happy and to not struggle so much and not suffer. THIS IS HUGE FOR CHIHAYA. Unfortunately, the girls’ Valentines plans are completely ruined by Chihaya’s father and Chihaya never gets to see Taichi smile on Valentines Day. However, this failure sets the stage for my next point.
After failing to get Taichi to smile on Valentines Day, Chihaya’s desire to make Taichi happy only grows and she becomes even more determined to make it happen no matter what. She ends up organizing a karuta tournament for Taichi on the day of his birthday. As she is organizing the tournament, she also asks Tsuboguchi-san to talk to Taichi about his match with Arata. This is also really significant because Chihaya is trying to help Taichi, even if she won’t know the details herself. Personally, I think she asks Tsuboguchi-san to talk to Taichi since she thinks it’ll help Taichi to talk to another guy about it. If all she wanted to do was ask Taichi about Arata, I think she would have done it herself. By not asking Taichi herself about his match with Arata and instead asking someone else to talk to him, Chihaya has demonstrated that what she truly wants is for Taichi to be happy again and to smile.
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Tsuboguchi-san’s comment in the last part of this scene just drives this point home, since 馬鹿だな in this context has the connotation that someone is being dense or an idiot. It’s clear to Tsuboguchi-san that Chihaya asked him to do this because she cares about Taichi and not because she wants to know more about Arata.
Sumire’s reaction to Taichi telling her he’s going to confess to Chihaya is another instance where Chihaya’s determination to make him happy is apparent. Sumire wanted to be pretty, because she liked Taichi, but she was wrong.
Sumire: ‘I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be pretty, but I was wrong. Liking someone isn’t about making yourself pretty. Liking someone is insatiable, tenacious, and....’ (disclaimer: I think insatiable is a much better translation of 強欲 here because while you are being greedy in sense that you want more, this is more the fact that you want more because you are insatiable.) Chihaya: ‘I want to make Taichi happy!‘
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Just the timing in which Chihaya says that she wants to make Taichi happy is impeccable. Liking someone is essentially insatiable, tenacious, and wanting to make them happy. That’s why Sumire was wrong.
Lastly, just the fact that Chihaya organized an ENTIRE karuta tournament to celebrate Taichi’s birthday speaks for itself how much she cares about him and wants him to be happy. She invited and was in contact with everyone using a flip phone. That is extremely difficult and tedious since it takes so long to type everything out. This is already an unpleasant task in English, but in Japanese it’s just downright god awful.
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So after all of these events, it’s quite clear to the audience that Chihaya cares deeply for Taichi and likes him to some degree, even if she herself is not aware of her own feelings.
On to part two: the confession!
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formashimataichi · 3 years
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what are your five favorite moments from the manga?
This is such a hard question, I’ve been thinking about it for a while! I think I’ve managed to narrow it down, though. 
The entirety of Chapter 205. After all of the strife that Taichi and Arata went through as antagonistic childhood friends, it felt like such a wonderful conclusion. That confession Arata made to Taichi at the end made me cry, and I have Taichi’s internal monologue in response to it practically memorized at this point. It always felt like they were a hair off course from understanding each other, despite how much love and respect they actually held for each other all along. I’m so glad they were finally able to put it into words with that game (and with Taichi’s message to Arata afterward for the actual Meijin match). 
I’m not sure if this can be counted as a “moment”, but the parallels between Chihaya and Taichi praying at the shrine at Oumi Jingu in Chapters 216 & 225. These two have so much unwavering hope and faith in each other, and I love that even when they’re apart, they’re still subconsciously thinking of and relying on each other’s support. They’ve shaped each other endlessly as people and it’s amazing to see how far that mutual support brought them as individuals and best friends. The panel with Chihaya in particular enraptures me, like the positioning of Taichi’s silhouette in her mind and how it transitions to, “God, we are,” is so crazy. I still wonder what exactly she asked of him in her prayers. 
Chihaya’s teacher comforting her by way of asking her to learn something, anything. The way she’s in so much despair after Taichi leaves, and how what ultimately ends up saving and comforting her in that time period afterward is her dedication to learning where she never really cared about it before really moved me to tears. I love the emphasis on teachers in Chihayafuru, and I like that it’s not just with regards to karuta but also general academic learning. I feel like so few sports manga focus on academics and how students can’t always entirely rely on sports to ensure a future for themselves, so Chihayafuru’s stress on that is very refreshing and comforting to me, because learning is crucially important. 
After the Qualifiers, when Suou told Taichi that he could envision him winning as his student. A lot of Suou’s character is about restraint and feeling unworthy of the game that he’s playing, despite him excelling at it and clearly even investing in it to a degree (what with the love and appreciation that he holds for different readers). I think Taichi really awakens this desire in him to invest in the game wholeheartedly (especially given the recent chapters) and makes him have hope, so that moment is just incredibly important to me even if it’s sad due to his immediate dismissal, because clearly he has hopes, however small and suppressed. The relationship between Suou and Taichi is in general one of my favorites in Chihayafuru because it started out as this sort of uncanny mentorship that developed into two people who actually care immensely about seeing each other grow and become happy. 
The end of Chapter 227 with Kuzuryu-san and Rion’s grandmother. Don’t leave me. Come back here, come back here, come back here. The flowers are blooming. The flowers are blooming. Come back to the world that keeps us connected to one another. I’m always really going to adore the emphasis that Chihayafuru has on camaraderie, support, and maintenance of bonds, and I love that it doesn’t just apply to the players—it applies to all manners of people. The readers are sort of in the background for most of the narrative, but I love that their importance and connection to the game came to a peak here, because there’s really so much dedication, love, and care involved in what they do, and an almost romantic trust that exists between readers and players. The fact that Kuzuryu-san kept herself from the game for so long because of how much she loved her husband, but she still missed it and the connections she made through it terribly and was secretly relieved to return, felt so cathartic to me. 
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beldaroot · 3 years
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so suou’s most liked poem is “ai mite no” which is a poem about comparing your past and present feelings of the thing you love and renewing that passion “as if [you] have never loved before.” suou initially liked the poem because it was the “first sound that filled the emptiness in [him]” since it was said by his aunt who he cherishes. but now the reason he’s fighting so hard to get that poem’s card is because he’s realizing that he rather have his heart be filled with light than darkness or emptiness, and therefore, he is essentially renewing both his love for karuta and his want to remain as meijin :’)
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alexiethymia · 4 years
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Taichi and Chihaya (fair warning, for those who prefer Chihaya and Arata not to read any further)
Just watched the live-action movies, and ended with Musubi, and I’ll gladly wear my clown face if I’m wrong (through my tears), but I still have hope that it’s Taichi and Chihaya at the end of it. Because and and as much as I love Arata, all those movies were focused on the two of them - the Mizusawa club on the one hand and their relationship as childhood friends with Arata on the other, but what those two overlap are always Taichi and Chihaya.
And I am aware that the movies have no bearing on the manga, especially the last movie, but it’s in the way how the first movie tied the Chihayaburu card so intricately to both Chihaya and Taichi, and how in Musubi, the last movie, the very last scene we see is Chihaya and Taichi together in Omni Jingu. But that is how it’s always been even in the manga hasn’t it? It’s always been them? It’s quite unfair how much focus Arata gets in the movies in comparison to Taichi for example.
And I admit I really was worried. It seemed like in the last movie, it was like Taichi was giving up on his feelings and pushing Chihaya to Arata, but I see it as him being him and thinking he’d be alright with everything after they won nationals, and he won against Arata, and if Chihaya was happy. But even then in that movie, even without his confession as it appeared in the anime and the manga, most of the movie was focused on Chihaya’s heartache over Taichi, with hardly a focus given to Arata’s confession. They give each other so much pain and yet they also give each other so much strength.
Besides that, as between the ‘though I would hide my love (shinoburedo)’ card which we were made to think represented Taichi (besides the representation of Chihaya’s goal of beating Shinobu) and ‘it is true I love, but the rumor of my love has gone far and wide’ which was made to represent Arata (and these two cards represent both so accurately, Arata’s innocent and straightforward confidence when it comes to his love for Chihaya vs Taichi’s fear and cowardice when it comes to his love for Chihaya), it was Taichi’s card which was picked. And I can’t think of anything similar that happened in the manga since Taichi lost to Arata in the meijin qualifiers. You’d think that because his card was picked, it might then follow that Chihaya would choose to answer Arata’s confession to even the scales, but it was left hanging.
Even now Taichi hasn’t appeared for the queen and meijin matches and at the same time, neither has the Chihayafuru card. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe Chihayafuru is a tale of Chihaya and Taichi growing separately. A simple admiration turned requited love between Arata and Chihaya. An exquisite tale of overcoming unrequited love and maintaining a strong friendship. Maybe I’m reading too much into the movies or that even in the anime, every finale of every season focused on Chihaya and Taichi or all that Chihaya and Taichi went through in the manga. Even with all that, Chihayafuru would still remain a compelling story for me. But even with all that, I still think that Chihaya depends on Taichi like she has no other, even Arata. And as much as Chihaya has been blind to Taichi’s feelings, maybe Taichi has also been blind to how high Chihaya holds him in regard. No matter what happens, I find their relationship to be an incredibly beautiful one.
(I still hope for a possibility of Chihaya competing against Shinobu during the Queen match while Arata and Taichi compete in the Meijin match, like in the movie, but the only way I see it happening is if Chihaya loses to Shinobu now and Arata wins against Suo, so that Chihaya and Taichi can be the challengers next year. But the manga might end after these Queen and Master matches, and I sincerely hope not.)
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izumisays · 3 years
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dear yuletide author
Thank you so much for reading this and taking part in this wonderful annual conspiracy!

First of all, I hope you have a lovely time! If any of the fandoms below pique your interest, I’m delighted already, and ready to hear all the stories you want to tell.
Fandoms:  Chihayafuru, Nirvana in Fire, Thunderbolt Fantasy
As for reading preferences, I’m happy with a wide variety of tones and genres, of any rating, ranging anywhere from lighthearted antics to dramatic casefics. But the core of all the stories I love has always been character interaction and interplay of their competences.
How the characters play off each other and bring out their best/worst, how they’d react to a divergence of events, how true they’d stay to themselves in a different setting – I love fanfiction for allowing us to reconnect with our favourite stories time and again by asking these questions. And there are so many ways to do it! To name a few favourites, I’m always game for POV hijinks, a missing scene, a casefic, canon expansion, backstories and what-ifs.
You may notice that quite a few of my requests lean towards shipfic – those, too, are welcome in a variety of tones – but I also tried to include openings for gen ideas if that’s your jam. Additionally, while it is not usually my top interest, I don’t have anything against AUs if there is something that you are itching to explore: I tend to enjoy them for a new aesthetic that fleshes out the favoured character dynamics in a new light, or a fusion that redefines the playing ground to allow the characters to exhibit their core competences in new and exciting ways.
I would be very grateful if you could avoid a/b/o and similar kinktropes, played-straight soulmate fic, and character interpretation that runs contrary to their core values. If in doubt, please reach out to me on anon - the askbox is open!
CHIHAYAFURU: Mashima Taichi, Wataya Arata, Suou Hisashi
You don’t have to include all three characters, but I’d love to see a fic that explores the connections between them better. I’m up to date with all manga scanlations.
Wataya Arata/ Mashima Taichi
In the immortal words of Henjin Meijin, Arata is that person for Taichi whose opinion makes or breaks him. (His wording may have been different, but if I go rummaging into the chapter archive to find the exact quote, I’ll end up binge-rereading year three into the night again, and then where would my Yule sign-up be?) (On that note, what kind of a MASSIVE LOSER waxes poetics about Taichi’s boyfriend problems to Taichi’s MOTHER, whom he JUST met? Suou Hisashi, that’s who.) Needless to say, that paramount opinion was not always great, and neither was Taichi’s general wellbeing.
Good news is, Arata is confident in his manliness, and he has no problem acknowledging Taichi’s ridiculously pretty and not too bad at karuta these days, and he’s also moving to Tokyo. Taichi’s definitely pretty and has an apartment in Tokyo, where a country bumpkin of paramount importance may possibly stay over until things are sorted out… eventually. Hint hint.
Jokes aside, I pine for the dynamics between the two of them. I nearly lost it, reading the Meijin semifinals — and if you can show me a person who saw them bawl as they crawled into each other’s laps on Japanese national television and didn’t bawl in response, well, that person is sure not me.
I’d like to see a story that lets them build and explore that connect. I do not object to eventual OT3, but I think Chihaya is on a quest to find her own footing and pursue other goals at the moment, and I’d really like it if she was allowed to do this (join forces with Shinobu to drag karuta into a professional league, girl!). I’d like to think that in that space, different bonds and relationships can develop and strengthen, starting with Arata and Taichi.
Taichi the overanalyzer, the hardworker and the looker, the golden boy who at some point surely hit that red button, meme-style: you will be perfect at everything, you will have everything, except the one thing that you want above all. Arata appears to be his perfect foil: steady and serene where Taichi’s scrambling and flawed, adorably awkward and disarmingly sincere where Taichi’s groomed, smooth and miserable about his own deceptions. But they don’t see it like that! And they keep tripping each other up so beautifully!
I’d love to read your take on them growing closer and hopefully smooshing their faces together. Roommates in Tokyo? Long-distance friends? Figuring out how to tell your flatmate you’ve been in love with him since you were 12? Established relationship while hijinks happen? AWKWARD THIRDWHEELING WITH SUOU?!
On that note:
Suou Hisashi & (or / - wejustdon’tknow.gif) Mashima Taichi
I cannot believe that ridiculous man. Did you see a grown ass adult swoon because his unrequited disciple I mean not-friend I mean Taichi just up and went to meet his relatives??? To  help reconnect them?? One can do things like this?? What next, being able to make phonecalls like an adult??
Does not compute.
I was there, Gandalf. I was there when the story first indicated that we might be getting an unlikely team-up of the world’s weirdest Meijin and Tokyo’s most miserable overachiever. But even in my wildest dreams I did not dare hope to see them sprawled on the carpet on a humid summer afternoon, Taichi comfortable in his own skin and Suou, erm, probably not very comfortable with his fascination :D He did not sign up for this. He, a grown ass man in what must be his early twenties, is too old for this youthful seishun sakura bullshit. And yet it is he who mournfully accosts Taichi’s mom to talk about how this other boy is paramount in Taichi’s universe. He who gets offended because Taichi knowing how to adult and work the social ropes is too sexy and competent. He who finds something compelling in the painful struggle of genius and skill.
Arata - Taichi - Suou
For maximum indulgence of yours truly, bring those into one place. Arata coming to Tokyo and finding Suou a fixture in Taichi’s life how?! Suou being infinitely pissy at the Fukuyi upstart and yet dragging himself to socialize with the boys regardless like a totally-not-pathetic adult with a social life of his own? Arata being mildly puzzled about the antagonism, but in there for the sweet snacks?
You tell me! I delight in my anticipation.
NIRVANA IN FIRE: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan
Is this a complex, narratively inevitable historic tapestry strangling people with its treads, full of delicious politicking and identity porn? Yes, it is.
Is my burning – nay, primal – desire so simple as to smoosh two faces together and watch them kiss? Yes, it is :’)
I mean, I will obviously not say no if the kissing is giftwrapped in the said tapestry of beautiful, politicky plot, but the fever I can’t get out of my system is this: LET THEM KISS, GODDAMMIT. LET THEM BE HAPPY. I welcome canon divergences, alternative endings, fix-its, insert eps and codas where it looks like they would have kissed (erm, or at least confronted each other in a way that would inevitably end with them making out) if only Mei Changsu wasn’t so caught up in self-loathing and fluffy foxfur coats, and Jingyan didn’t talk too loudly about his so dead, so very dead beautiful ex to hear Mei Changsu weep stoically into his beautiful white furs.
I adore Prince Jing. He is 90% cheekbones and 20% heartbroken pouting over his so very dead friends, and all of it noble and awkward and stubborn and deserving of happiness. Mei Changsu is ridiculous, and capable, and twisted into pretzels of his own creation: not above gloating over his enemies while daintily dipping cookies into his tea, he gets too caught up in weaving the tapestry to notice he is a part of it.  Pull him off his high horse, Jing! Render him helpless by being yourself! Do something about being hopelessly charmed with each other, through resentment, loss, bitter pining, and narrative inevitability! JUSTKISSALREADY.gif!!
THUNDERBOLT FANTASY: Rin Setsua; Sho Fukan
I LOVE THIS SELF INDULGENT WUXIA NONSENSE AND I CANNOT LIE!
Sanfan is a mixture UTTER GLEE and deep fondness for the genre staples, self-aware and masterful playthrough of all the wuxia tropes in the book, and one goddamn well-constructed story. It plays the tropes straight, calls them out with a knowing wink, walks the tightrope between the two with panache, and just as you are relaxed and enjoying this trapeze show, it grins cheekily at you, sets the discoball on fire and pulls a bunny out of a hat.  It’s DELIGHTFUL and fun and lovingly crafted, just like a good passion project should be.
I want anything that capitalizes on the absolutely hilarious dynamics between Rin Setsua and Sho Fukan (and while personally I end up using the Japanese versions of their names more often, please feel free to go with the Chinese names if you prefer). Sho Fukan does not want any of those heroic quests, he’s the human equivalent of been there, done that mood, and he just wants to REST and hopefully dump a bunch of magical murderswords someplace safe. Rin Setsua is a Totally Respectable and Non-Villainous Member of Society, of which he will inform you firsthand in the most high spoken and verbose way possible, and maybe even produce paperwork that has definitely not been tampered with. He harbours no ulterior motives, ever, and does not trail behind Sho Fukan for any reason beyond the pleasure of his company, and his mission to personally victimize and cockblock every morally derelict villain in two countries, by no-one’s request.
Whether you go shipfic (yiss!) or canon levels teamup circus (also yiss!), don’t hold back your horses. Everything about this is Extra, and should continue to be so <3
I am okay with both expanding the canon and playing with AUs/crossovers/fusions for this one, provided they retain the character dynamics. I love the extended cast as well: any characters including the Seiyou gang (and on that note, if you want to write the Seiyou backstory for Shou’s gang that has no Rin in it, you’re welcome as well), reappearance of the familiar faces from Touri (read: Rin’s victim list, past, future and present), original characters lined up and waiting to be screwed over (guaranteed) and rescued (the administration does not bear any responsibility etc etc).
Thank you for taking the time to read the letter, and I’m greatly looking forward to reading your story — and hopefully, getting to chat about these ridiculous and wonderful characters post-reveals :)
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labyrithian · 4 years
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About Hikaru no Go
 I’ve been rewatching this series and the usual feelings and thoughts came to mind whenever I get to episode 47. When Sai becomes upset that Hikaru isn’t letting him play much anymore. I try to resist looking at the comment section, because I know what I’m going to see.
  Everyone always talks about how they feel so bad for Sai, that Hikaru is being selfish. I'd beg to differ, it's Sai who is being selfish and jealous. He's angry that, as a ghost, he can't participate in life like Hikaru can, and he's taking it out on Hikaru by letting his bitterness show during their interactions. Instead of talking to Hikaru about his concerns, he's very abrupt and rude with Hikaru (Not responding to him, simply giving angry looks and telling him to do things). Hikaru may be a bit thoughtless with his words sometimes, but he is a young boy. Sai is an adult who has technically lived through 2 lifetimes already, he should know better. Also, lets not forget that this is Hikaru's life and career we are talking about, not Sai's. Sai is dead, but, as a ghost, he's not ready to accept it. It's not an easy situation. This is Hikaru's life, not Sai's. It's sad for Sai, but his life ended a long time ago (and by his own hand). Sai is a ghost, and, like most depictions of ghosts, he is envious of the life that Hikaru has. In the end, I think it's really unfair and selfish that he took such an important part of Hikaru's career from him (A fact even Sai himself admits). I get that everyone loves Sai, but you shouldn't look at this situation in such a one-sided way.
Sai is going through something very difficult here, he's realizing that he is a ghost. His life is over and he's no longer part of the living world. He may have realized this earlier if Torajiro had protested his taking over his life as a Go player (It seems to be he either wasn't as interested in Go as Hikaru is. Or maybe he just let himself be bullied by Sai, which is implied to be the case by Sai in episode 49 . Again, very selfish). This is hard for him, and I feel very sorry for him. But that's no excuse for him to become angry at Hikaru simply for living his life. Hikaru has every right to be excited about life and proud of his accomplishments. I'd bet, had a ghost possessed Sai as a child, he would react in exactly the same way as Hikaru has. Maybe even worse, Sai seems like he loves Go too much to have allowed some spirit to play through him.
Some argue that Hikaru is ungrateful. Let me put it this way, how often do parents call their children ungrateful? Adults nurture and care for children everyday, teach them what they need to know in life. But, once that's over, a child will always leave in order to start their own lives. Some parents resent this, some think of their children as a new chance to live out their own dreams. That is how I see Sai. In his sadness over losing his game and being banished, he chose to end his own life, ending his own ability to continue to play the game he loves so much. He can’t play anymore, so he uses the people he possesses to play for him. Like that overbearing parent who forces their kid to play sports or pursue ballet because they themselves suffered an injury and can’t do it anymore. Hikaru may love Go now, but Sai made it clear in the beginning that he wanted Hkaru to play regardless of his own interest.
 He may love and feel very proud of Hikaru, but it’s partially because he is LITERALLY living through him. A parents job is to teach and guide their children, not live through him. Sai may not be Hikaru’s father, but he’s a very parental figure to Hikaru as I see it. Especially given that we never truly see Hikaru’s father, only hear him (I feel like that has to be on purpose in order to cement Sai’s role as the male role-model in his life). Also, Hikaru’s actual parents are often shown to have very little faith in him, which may be why he shows just as little regard for them. In the end, Sai was very lucky to have Hikaru, someone who no only also loves and has great potential for Go, but who cares about him enough to let him take such an important game in his career from him (The game being his introduction into the world of pros. His game with Toya Meijin). (Though I remain adamant that he shouldn’t have had to in the first place and Sai was wrong to guilt him in order to get what he wanted).
 Sai is also very self-centered. He believes he was brought back because he was the closest to the Divine Move. He can’t think of any other reason for it. He even calls out to God to ask why would he be brought to Hikaru. It genuinely takes him a long time to realize that maybe, just maybe, the reason he brought to Hikaru (A child with massive amounts of potential for Go) is because he was meant to teach him. To help someone else, who is not him, reach the Divine Move. He cannot fathom that it is not himself who will play the Divine Move. In fact, it is only after this realization that he passes on. That can’t be for no good reason.
 Hikaru is not being selfish. Just because you do something for someone does not mean you are owed anything. Least of all when it comes to kids, your own included. Sai may have taught Hikaru about Go and nurtured his love for it, but that does not mean Hikaru owes him anything. Especially when that something involves Hikaru’s own life.
 That being said, I’d like to say that I do not dislike Sai as a character. Hikaru is my favorite character (Just look at all that character development, he grows so much and I love it), but I have a lot of respect for Sai. He also undergoes a massive amount character growth. In the end, he did let go and realize his true purpose. He was sad, but who wouldn’t be. Sai is an awesome character who i love very much, but he’s not the perfect pinnacle of goodness that people tend to want to depict him as either. And honestly, I wouldn’t love him as much as I do if he was. Perfect characters are just boring.
Sorry for the long post, episodes 47-49 never fail to get me all steamed up. this is something that has always bothered me about this series/fandom. I thought it was about time I wrote about it. 
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lesbian-kyoru · 1 year
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What do you think of Akihito Sudou as a character? His relationship with other characters? He's my second fav character in chihayafuru but i don't see anyone talking about him that much anywhere🤧 plus I wanted to read some fanfics about him but couldn't find any good one,so if you don't mind,any recs?👀 Thank you,have a nice day😊
oh i am a big sudo fan! he was a character that i initially didn't focus on a ton, but rather the more i read of the manga, the more i really came to appreciate his character, to the point where i'd probably list him in my top 5-6 chihayafuru characters….. he started out as more of a background rival character (i think i didn't like him at first because he was mean to chihaya amshd;falkhsd), but with sudo, suetsugu did one of the things she's best at as a character writer: taking characters that fit neatly into archetypes at first, and over time fleshing them out beyond that point. all of her characters, even supporting or background ones, end up feeling like fully realized people; she accomplishes something similar with characters like suo, shinobu, and even taichi.
building upon this idea of archetypes, what makes sudo so compelling to me is the fact that at first he seems like a sadistic karuta player who will bring adversarial tension to karuta tournaments, nothing more—but there's a lot more to him than that. over time, we as readers and the characters around him start to see that sudo is a sadist, but he's not a cold-hearted or uncaring person. he truly loves karuta, and his sadistic, intense nature as a player is how he displays that passion and love for karuta. (in a way this acts as a precursor to arata’s internal struggle, where even though he doesn’t want to, playing karuta ruthlessly turns out to be the truest way to show respect to his opponents as his equal—with sudo, he has already reached the point where he’s comfortable going to that place in karuta, because he has internalized that that’s how his passion for it comes through.) he shows an unwavering passion for not just becoming the meijin or the top player, but a desire to stay involved in karuta his entire life because he loves it that much. even among a cast of characters who are literally all obsessed with karuta, sudo is special to me in that way because our perceptions of him as a player shift so greatly over time.
sudo also cares deeply about the people around him—his team, suo, even his rivals like taichi and chihaya. i think this second point is something very striking about him. there's actually a quote in the manga fruits basket about how every person's kindness looks a little different, how it takes a different shape, and for a lot of people you have to look harder to recognize that innate kindness—because it doesn't look the same as what we imagine “kindness” will look like. for some reason, sudo is always the chihayafuru character that makes me think of that quote! i found it really impactful to see a character like sudo, who at first glance appears mean and malicious, turn out to be one of the kindest characters in the series, one who loves karuta in a truly uncomplicated way. the way he shows affection for other people is more complicated by his hard exterior, but he genuinely has a very big heart. obviously his relationship with suo is a standout and probably what made sudo a favorite for a lot of readers, including myself. there’s something really special about watching sudo do everything he can to keep suo in the karuta world—and when he cried for suo, mountains were simply moved! it’s just clear to me that sudo is in love with him loves him a lot even if he doesn’t say it directly, and their bond is quite meaningful to me.
aside from this obvious one, i also love sudo’s friendship with chihaya so much!! i never really expected to, but i was obsessed with their little challenger/qualifier training arc together! the way they play off of each other is very fun to read. i think their dynamic is also interesting because chihaya typically hates people who play karuta in a “nasty” or mean-spirited way, but i feel like she’s able to reach a common ground with sudo because his sadism is so deeply rooted in a love for karuta, which chihaya can understand. i also really love sudo’s scenes with taichi and desperately wish they had more scenes together. the way sudo teases and simultaneously pushes and motivates taichi….. it’s good. specifically, i think the interplay of suo-sudo-taichi is fascinating and no one talks about it enough. it isn’t lingered on a ton in the text, but sudo must have been feeling immense jealousy when suo started focusing all of his attention on taichi; i love fanworks that dive into that aspect of his character and his relationships with suo and taichi. (there’s a lot that can be said about how those three characters intersect and are juxtaposed to each other—suo and taichi drawn together by their common “apathy” towards karuta while sudo is “left out” as someone who truly loves it; taichi who appears to love karuta but secretly thinks he hates it vs. sudo who loves karuta in such a warmhearted way that’s obscured by his harsh exterior….. however, that’s a far more complicated post; i genuinely feel like i could talk about those three forever, so i will rein myself in!)
i haven’t read a ton of fics with sudo featured, unfortunately! most of the ones i’ve seen are chihaya/sudo, which i don’t ship, but if you’re looking for something to read there are several on ao3 that you could check out! my favorite fic portrayal of sudo, however, is definitely how he's characterized in perfectly still in the dark by bloodletters. while suo and taichi's relationship is the main focus of the fic, sudo has the most striking scene with taichi—even if you are not a gay sudo truther like myself, it's so worthwhile to read just because of how expertly and subtley he is characterized. now that i think about it, i think that fic might've actually been what jumpstarted my love for sudo, but i digress LMAO. tl;dr out of all the chihayafuru characters, sudo for me is the closest to being canonically gay, and he should be celebrated more for that reason alone 🤍
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