#I JSUT THINK A LOT ABOUT MANY THINGS AND THOSE MANY THINGS ARE ABOUT THESE TWO.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[pansy-picnics]

No idea if they would since they all live in a castle but how do you think the uknighted parents each would deal with empty nest syndrome?

AUDJSJSD NGL I’VE KINDA BEEN HOPING FOR A QUESTION LIKE THIS BC!! they DO. and they are NOT good at it. AT ALL.

ukd are very adamant on giving their kids the freedom they never had growing up, so as long as they’re managing their own duties they’re basically free to do whatever (though eugene can be a Little overprotective sometimes he means well). of course bc ilmari’s adopted and isn’t of any royal blood they end up being the first to leave the nest… i’ve already discussed that vaguely here, so this time i’m gonna talk more abt ryder!!

being the eldest of the twins ryder is technically supposed to take on the throne to corona, and people have a LOT of high expectations from him, especially other nobles/those who were….less than pleased with rapunzel’s approach to ruling. he’s basically seen as the “light” of corona and has been held on a pedestal since he was very young, which leads him to repress himself and puts a lot of strain on his relationships for many years- especially with alina who’s often left in his shadow (and he doesn’t mind it per se!!! but he does feel like her life is pretty directionless, and she’s always been rather dependent on ryder bc of it).

all this to say, eventually on their 18th birthday everything boils over and leads to a nasty fight between the twins. they both kinda realize that they need to grow up and branch out in their own ways- and ryder in particular realizes that he rlly just needs to get Away for a while. so going to help edmund in the dark kingdom seems like a pretty good way to gain some new perspectives!!

after all the pressure she was under herself, rapunzel understands this more than anything…..but that doesn’t make it any easier for her (or cass and eugene, for that matter) to accept. :’3

idk if any of you guys watched steven universe future, but i think they’d all be like this final scene like. ALMOST WORD FOR WORD LMFAO

in fact as soon as ryder even suggests the idea to rapunzel shes awkwardly slipping out of their painting session and running to cass and eugene in TEARS and they cry for a good 3 hours but obviously they want to be SUPPORTIVE and STRONG for their BOY!!! so they pull themselves together and when he brings it up again at dinner they’re like. “omg thats great!!! ^_^” and ryder is just like ?????????

and ryders almost a little hurt that they seem so unfazed so he tries to prod them like. Aren’t you guys upset. but they don’t budge. and so obviously right at the end as he’s saying goodbye to everyone and they’re STILL nonchalant abt it he just bursts into tears like “WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS SAD IM LEAVING :(“ and IMMEDIATELY the three of them all jsut run to him BAWLING

ryder rlly enjoys his time in the dark kingdom actually. obviously edmund and the brotherhood have a Lot of flaws in their approach to ruling….but that’s not rlly what ryder needs anyways. i think they’re very goal oriented and focused on what they can do as a unit rather than what other people think of them, and that’s a lesson ryder definitely needs to learn. not to mention he brings a lot of color to the place (both in a literal and metaphorical sense).

alina pretty much stays in corona tho…which her parents certainly aren’t complaining about. i think he really needs some time to stand up and take on more responsibility without ryder stepping in for him. the twins wont be taking on the thrones anytime soon, but i think when they do, they’ll end up switching- so ryder will be the king of the dark kingdom, and alina will take on the role as queen of corona. alina’s always had deeper ties to her kingdom than ryder did…not to his fault, but the pressure he’s had put on him just made it hard for him to focus on the things that Mattered, yk? he’s ended up being very stuck in his status, while alina has been a lot more down to earth and has always felt a closer connection to the public, if that makes sense… :3

but ryder and ilmari still visit all the time, and ilmari will take over the library one day too…like, raps, cass and eugene haven’t been Perfect parents by any means, but they’ve never failed to make sure their kids know just how strong, capable and loved they are. even though it hurts to see them go (and poor alina definitely has to deal with their theatrics and coddling for YEARS while her older siblings are gone), it’s very clear that no matter where they go, their kids will always know their home is with them, yk??? they love their parents so much and it just makes me so emo😭😭😭

additionally, i think uknighted dream kind of do some equivalent of fostering long after their own kiddos leave the nest… the three of them do a lot of community work, they have a lot of programs instilled for struggling families and kids alike. they end up helping pretty closely with a lot of the orphanages, not only with funding but also by putting in their own work. they visit a lot, come to tons of events…they end up forming a lot of bonds with the kids individually, or occasionally take them in when there isn’t anywhere else for them to go.

sometimes they know these kids for years, sometimes only for a few weeks…but they always try to stay in contact with them regardless. and even when that isn’t possible, they never forget about any of the kids they’ve met….so by the time they’re all old and grey, they basically have hundreds of pseudo-kids and grandkids all across the seven kingdoms, and in a way, their nest never really feels completely empty 🥹🫶

#tangled the series #rapunzels tangled adventure #princess rapunzel #tangled cassandra #eugene fizherbert #pansy-art #ask #tangled ask #pansy rambling again #tangled kids #alina #ryder #ilmari #atlus #cassunzel #new dream #uknighted dream #king edmund

[rrat-king]

walk with me bird,,, thinking about kristen's lack of self preservation especially in sophmore year- she does crazy shit again and again and it is funny but like. when you actually look at it, its like this elaborate performance. so much going on in kristen's brain, losing her family, (we know she's clearly still thinking about it with the start of sy being her returning to her brothers) losing her religion and then recreating it and still feeling lost.

all her life being full and told that this is the thing- that will protect you as long as you are good so kristen is good and then realizes oh. i was meant for something terrible actually, my church who vowed to protect me is actually trying to make me a hellmouth. like oh. great well i dont feel safe in that anymore, im always arguing with my parents because even they are still polluted with their religion but she lets it go she tries to find something else. and then she ends fy with her new religion and immediately doesnt like it, over the summer it still doesnt click and she changes it again, she puts her faith or even lack of it at the forefront as she does these insane choices, like a leap of faith. like oh someone has got to save me if i do this- surely someone will. (also pushing my agenda of kristen's faith eventually forming into believing in her friends bc they are the ones who always save her not the gods even though i do love cass)

like ally talking about chaos not being cute anymore really makes me think of all this- because it's like kristen being like oh well if it goes wrong than at least it's some sort of relief from this pressure of being something and at least im not plagued with thinking about not being good enough for my own parents. like her being so not aggressive but trying to counter sandralynn too- like not wanting to view her as a parental figure but as a person. kristen like almost tries to parent her in a way which sounds weird but its very like she can't turn it off in her head because she's been raised with expectation so she does feel on the same level as adults when in reality she is not but kristen believes like oh i can solve this here maybe u shouldnt be doing this thing in her relationship. i think part of it is kristen not wanting to see a parent become better and then have to wonder why her's didn't. like was she not enough for them to want to me better. it's so complex i adore kristen's character and it kinda surprises me how often she becomes very 2d in the fandom but alas, many thoughts about her

i am absolutely walking with you. i love what your talking about with her dynamic with sandra lynn (which. i will always be crazy about her and sandra lynn they are just both so intersting in thier relationships) but yeah it makes a lot of sense that she doesn't know how to properly interact with her if you think about the amount of pressure she has been given to be a spiritual leader through church or if you hc her as a parentified older sister to her little brothers (which i do personally) so she's not thinking about her interaction with sandra lynn as like, a regular adult cuz she hasn't really had those interactions before, especially when it comes to an adult not trusting her.

and i think that's why she just feels so insane in sophmore year, jsut like, she's going from something super rigid to something where it feels like she can do anything and that's fucking scary. like she has a place to stay but she doesn't really have any parents to answer to, she has a god but she has so much doubt it doesn't feel reliable, all she really has as stability is her friends and her girlfriend, and i feel like she is just incredibly reckless cuz like, she's doing better but its almost like she has nothing to lose? but she does. and she did, and i think that was what beardsley was saying about the chaos not being cute anymore, like kristen was acting like she was invinvible at times and that not only got her hurt, but also those around her, and im excited to see how she grows from that.

#anon beloved thank you so much for the ask #bird answers #d20 #fantasy high #kristen applebees #dimension 20

[ganondoodle]

feeling much better now having gotten some sleep (the dont trust how you feel about yourself past 9pm is good advice no joke)

of course all my criticism of totk still applies but im feeling less depressed about it, tho i will say its honestly kinda baffling how many times the game actually got me interested and excited about stuff and then just kinda drops it in a dead end, of course they were those kind of things in botw as well but it seems much less .. balanced in totk

(not even just the big things like making me want to actively do something to help zelda turn back when it just gets solved on its own in the end, but also some lil things like the fact that so many NPCs tell you about that newly discovered animal species and when you find the dongos they are just gem vending maschines)

in the end i can say, no, i dont like totk, tho i still love the graphics and the way the world is made ( botw showed me jsut how immersive and alive a world can feel i love it to death), i liked the gameplay and that it kept the freedom botw had established, the bossfights are mostly fun (tho i wish you could refight more of them), i LOVE the yiga and im glad they got more of a spotlight, the music is FANTASTIC i keep catching myself humming along, alot of the sidequests are much bigger and feel like you are actually doing something, i like how the sages are a bit more integrated into the story, the majority of the new designs are great, both the japanese and german voice acting is great, and the end fight has some of the best build up i have ever experienced, my heart starts to race when that music build up starts even tho i have beaten it 3 times already-

however, the story is both simple and incredible flat with lots of stuff that doesnt make sense especially when it was said to be a sequel, the zonau should have stayed a mystery imo, they failed to make me care about them even a little bit and often felt forcefully crammed into the world and its history, i think you could have told an incredible story taking place in the present and leave the past be the past, you easily could have connected botw and totk in a much better way than they did, i dont like how it changes aspects about botw all the while nigh ignoring it ever happened, it still feels like it was trying to be a replacement and not a sequel and all the referencing and callbacks to the old titles may have been done in good faith but that and including time travel yet again ultimately lead to people ripping each other to shreds over trying to prove its placed in the old timeline despite it making no sense at all and confusing people even more; often when the game made me care or be excited about something it was dropped in a dead end, there was a ton of missed opportunities and lost potential to tell a much more nuanced and interesting story/lore, and thinking about it only makes me sad for the things that could have been

overall i think my disappointment is outweighing my fun and the only way i can keep playing it while having fun is ignoring everything that isnt, which works quite well most of the time since im pretty much done with all story stuff but i keep slipping into my little rants nonetheless; i will say its making me a little worried about the future of the franchise, but i know im in the minority and maybe i will just have to accept that the new stuff wont be for me anymore and i should not hope for anything that interests me xD

except for some meme material or specific characters i love i dont think i will make much use of anything totk tried to establish, and i hope thats fine with the lot of you (<3) hopefully that also means my ranting days are over xD

anyway, back to making niche art i go! (sorry for making you endure these long ass rambling posts :,) )

#ganondoodles talks #would you believe me if i said i found more stuff that i find a lil weird #like the way zelda gives you her time power thing and the way the mastersword got sent back in time #like i dont need to have it all written out to me like im a baby but soem things are just kinda weird but acceptable #and some things actively take you out of the game- threatening your immersion #-stares at the shrine of life- #i will miss digging through theory videos on youtube tho #bc considering how big of a game totk is and how wide its influence goes .. its gonna affect everything #anyway i want to reiterate that damn the music is good #and it makes it all just hurt more #the music got me more emotional than anything else in the game besides koga #and it kinda sucks thinking about the impact it could have had if both the music AND story were this great

[cassthecringe]

i am so curious about your pucci thoughts...

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ASK OH MY FUCKING GOD my life has been crazy lately but still i am So Sorry

okay so basically i love pucci we have to kill him. here is a list of my thoughts in no particular order

he makes me so ill like genuinely he is one of the most well written jojo characters ever and DEFINITELY the most well written villain. like holy shit. i think a lot about how weather said the evilest of people are those who think they are good and how that relates to pucci oh my GOD it makes me sick. pucci like many villains are a "ends justify the means" kinda guy like while he was cruel at many points i truly think he was jsut like, yes this is a moment of weakness but it wont matter because im going to fix it. i think aobut how he really thought he was going to save everyone. he was going to save perla. he was going to save dio. he was going to save himself. and thinking baout things from his side, like, oh my god. dio was his only friend. we the audience know that dio groomed him (not necessarily sexually but still grooming) and even though dio did seem to grow to truly care for pucci, he didnt care enough to not use him for his plan to restart the world -- but PUCCI didnt know that. im sure he had inklings and feelings like he's not NAIVE, im sure he KNEW dio was using him at SOME point, but it wouldnt change the fact dio still eventually saw him and was his friend either way. it wouldnt change the fact that he would do this one thing for his only friend, even if his only friend BECAME his friend in the first place just to make him fulfill this task. god dio and pucci's relationship is so insane i hate hate hate that people boil it down to just shipping LIKE THERE WAS RESENTMENT THERE WAS ANGER THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE AND HALF OF IT WAS LOVE FOR WHAT THE OTHER COULD DO FOR HIM INSTEAD OF JUST HIM HIMSELF . LIKE FUCK'S SAKE im sick of ppl putting a romantic spin on everything and YES this is half me being aromatnic but also COME ON. and that's not even getting into the fact dio and pucci's relationship is supposed to parallel jolyne and jotaro's/jolyne and jonathan's. but anyway

god he loved his sister so much man it makes me sick he jsut wanted her safe man. after everything....i choose to believe his final thoughts were of perla. it's why he was begging for everything he did to have meant SOMETHING -- please let if have meant perla got a good life in whatever universe the world will end up in. i like to believe she did. he won't be there to see it. oh god he wont be there ot see it. fuck. maybe that was for the best in his mind anyway

his drama and tragedy aside he's also the funniest guy in the entire world. why the hell is a catholic priest wearing gucci. well i guess that answers the question but still. he is so fucking funny he is not even subtle about it he is LITERALLY like EOUGH DONT TOUCH MY EXPENSIVE DESIGNER PANTS and then he kicks a cop to his death for it. he's so fucking funny i love him so much. i love that whitesnake is independent enough to have its own personality and he and pucci get into spats sometimes OS FUCKING FUNNY. MFW I ARGUE WITH MY OWN SOUL.

also my disdain for shipping culture aside i cannot deny that pucci is a homophobic homosexual. he and jotaro totally banged a couple times and awkwardly called it off when pucci first sees jotaro's birthmark and he's like oh no. SO FUCKING FUNNY

ugh sorry i jsut want to go back to this point he's so smart he's so Aware of how people work and connect he's always had a fine sense for it (do you believe in gravity...) OUGH like there's no WAY HE DIDN'T KNOW DIO WAS USING HIM BUT HE STILL LOVED DIO AND I THINK BEYOND THAT. I THINK HE TRUY BELIEVED WHAT DIO WAS SAYING. I THINK HE TRULY BELIEVED OKAY EVEN IF DIO HAS HIS OWN MOTIVES HERE, THIS END IS JSUT. SO I WILL KEEP FOLLWOING ALONG. LIKE. I. i truly think he thought this would save everyone, especially perla. ohuogh my god PUCCIIIIIIIIIIIII

in short, he makes me sick we have to kill him. i like him a lot

#cass cries

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO. even kissing, when you really think about it, is such a weird thing to do. Sex?? I’m sure when it’s good it’s great, especially in fantasy, but when i really think about it frankly.. it seems so odd to me 😭 and i would be terrified to be in front of someone like that.

Kissing is fine! I would gladly make out with someone for a little bit…but sex?

Idk I see it a lot differently than some do and I have many issues with myself and my body that I jsut could never let anyone see me naked without bursting into tears so sex is terrifying. And pregnancy and STDs are terrifying so sex just doesn’t seem worth it with those risks

#as well as #many #many many #many many many #issues I have when it comes to being vulnerable enough with someone #so it’s like an exhausting ordeal

[tblsomedoodles]

Can I ask, for writing reference and such, jsut what does Leo's visions look like? How clear are they? Are they jumbled up with off dialogue not fitting the context of the images? Is it a bunch of random images and sounds all being span around like a blender? Or are they pretty clear and concise with clear context?

Leo's visions can be blurry/fuzzy (they were more blurry before his nimpo was unlocked) but are usually decipherable. But it does end up skipping around a lot. It's basically if you take a video, chop it up into many different segments, and then randomize those segments (sometimes putting segments in there several times, or from several different view points.) He can usually figure out what they're getting at after some thought, but the exact timing of things might be off (Leo, in particular, isn't always good at figuring out when things will happen.)

Though, it does bring up the question of what POV does Leo (and Donnie) see their visions in, which isn't something i had thought of until now.

I almost want to say it's first person, but not necessarily their first person. (b/c boy would that add a level of angst to both boys. Leo seeing Donnie's kidnapping through Donnie's eyes, feeling his brother's panic when his nimpo stops working mid-fight. Donnie seeing Leo get surprised by the blueberry pancakes, feeling that happy surprise excitement that he knows he can't feel outside of visions.)

it adds a little more of fa personal touch then a generic third person view point would.

somethign to think about at least.

THank you!

#asks #tmnt #rottmnt #seer twins au

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

get up cocksuckers were personalposting on main !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can literally and viscerally feel the end of my relationship coming??????????????????????????????????? and like,,,,,,,,,i knew it obviously bc we're young and were pretty different but DAMN i did not think it would Hurt like this bc it never has bc i never emotionally attach myself (to romantic relationships specifically on purpose!!!!!!!!! like jesus christ we should be similar on paper but no !!!!!!!! our senses of humor are completely different and that is the only way i know how to connect with people !!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck am i supposed to do????????? and theyre always telling me i shoulld probably get a therapist, or get medication, etc etc and !!!! i cannot do those things!! i have tried!!!!!!! but i dont want to say that to them bc their last (really really shitty ex) was the type of person to say things that were obvious cries for help and then brush them off for some sort of attention and i have been repeatedly told that there is nothing i need treatment for by doctors !!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what to do.

also its fair to mention that they are Pretty White and have a very different family dynamic to mine, which, despite being very minimally east asian is still pretty east asian, and also that while both our families are solidly upper middle class they live in a higher income area of our town super close to where the rich rich people live and constantly refer to/make jokes about it being better (not on purpose and i don't think they get why it bothers me a little). i dont know how to talk to them about this without sounding like a nepo baby trying to convince the public they were a struggling self-made actor. and ofc if it falls apart itll probably be my fault bc i dont know how to talk to them about things that bother me bc i dont want to be like their shitty and weird and creepy ex (who is in one of my classes and is constantly trying to make eye contact with me and tried to get my number as well).

i like them a lot, and also crushed super bad on them for 6 months before we started dating and two years ago when i met them i sort of liked them aswell, but more and more im realizing that i dont even know if i wanted to be with them or just be them -> be whiter (i have JOURNALED about this!!!!!!!!!!!!) especially when i realize that were different in too many ways and also that i dont know how to be emotionally vulnerable with them specifically bc of that!!!!!!!! a lot of their friends rn are slightly not stable (or really not stable) and i dont know how to say any of this to them without fucking up their mental state. not to mention that october-december was a really shitty time for them last year and also that i dont want to be the one who ends things because i still really super like them but at the same time sort of resent them for having things i want??????????? but not when im with or near them only when im getting insecure in my rroom which has been happening a lot for some reason!!!!! also two of their very close friends (one is a mutual friend of ours but she's closer to them) are both really weird about us dating at least to me, like the mutual friend lied to me about them not liking me for seemingly no reason right before we got together which significantly delayed it and the other.......i dont even know she jsut always gives me weird looks whenever she sees me and whenever i take the bus with them they sit together and she locks me out of the conversation. i also dont know her very well, so idk.

plus my partner has a weird habit of not engaging with me at all whatsoever (as in having a conversation with another person while also sitting fairly far away from me or not talking to me at all annd staring at their phone) but then being annoyed when i dont try to join to conversation or engage with them. its also fair to note that they are allistic and tbh as someone with a lot of adhd/autistic tendencies (i sort of Suspect myself of audhd but i can never be sure) it actually affects the relationship for me which is insane bc usually i dont Feel it like that. like im fairly certain i mask ??????/ (again no clear diagnosis other than family history of being undiagnosed w/ something) and while i dont mask around my close friends i do still mask, even if its not as heavily, around my partner, who ive known longer than some of those friends. the only time i wasn't masking in some sort of way while we were dating was a day when i was so drained i also ended up sleeping on their couch for like thirty minutes bc i could barely stay awake. i just dont know what to do. in the past ive usually been the person more innvested or into the relationship and i can almost feel that happening again and i dont know why or how.

anyway no pressure t9o reply or annythhing to tthis i just nneeded to get this out into the air

#personal post #vent #<- sorta????

[moonshine-nightlight]

i don’t know if you’ve answered this before, but I absolutely love your writing style! how did you get into writing?

thank you!!

short version is i got really into reading cool books when i was a kid and then i wanted to read other cool books but they didn't exist so i started just imagining those books and eventually i started writing them down.

longer version below the cut, if ur interested

it's been awhile but pretty sure i got into writing because i got really into reading lol. 4th grade (10 yrs old) is when i started just consuming as many books as i could get (i think something put me off when i was even younger but then i rediscovered books i liked and nothing could stop me) and i always loved imagining cool books or stories in my head (wouldn't it be so cool if i could find a book about x or with a character like y or had z in it? etc).

8th grade (13 yrs old) i think is when i started writing my own stories in spiral ring notebooks, both original stories (something about finding a magical path in the forest that led to colorful dragons i think?) and fanfiction (both my own and with a group of friends--we'd pass around the notebook and each write different parts of the fic).

while i've always had files and scrawled notes of original stuff, aside from some "poetry" i submitted to my high school literary magazine, i mostly posted/finished fanfic because it was shorter, i could get less distracted by worldbuilding, and those got views/comments which was more motivational.

i had a brief writing drought after i graduated college and my Real Job started and i was just very very busy, but i finally started posting again, but still just fanfic. i had started developing more original ideas and trying to actually write and finish some of them during this time, but did not truly consider posting any of it nor was i really making a lot of progress anyway.

then through tumblr, i stumbled upon some of the monster romance original works (@snowkissedmonsters i think was the specific writer i can remember jump starting that) and it kinda kickstart-ed the part of my brain that comes up with story ideas. and with some time, encouragement, and being possessed by the idea for "Nothing's Wrong with Dale", i started posting original works and haven't really stopped since.

i've always been interested in fantasy, sci-fi, speculative fiction etc, but more of my older ideas were YA because i was a YA (my protagonists tend to age as i did lol) and less romance focused, although many had sort of, side character love interests. i had always struggled with writing shorter stories and so i was interested in trying to really write short things both as a challenge to myself but also so i could actually frickin' finish stories that weren't fanfic. that's worked pretty well, even if i'm still not able to write one-shot original stories like some others out there.

i think i've imporoved a lot over the years and am really grateful for all the practice writing via fanfic i was able to do and am continuing to do, jsut on my other tumblrs/AO3 accounts (because i dont think there's a lot of audience overlap with this writing)

that's probably a longer answer than u wanted, but i hope it wasn't to rambling!

thanks again for asking and the compliment on my writing :)

#asks #writing asks #too much info lol #i still have those old notebooks somewhere #and of course i've never deleted any fanfic i've posted #including things from when i was a young teenager and find kinda cringe-y now #all my ao3s hav corresponding tumblrs all linked to my main blog #which is not this one #in case anyone's ever wondered y this blog never gives likes #cuz it can't #cant send asks from this blog either which is more frustrating #oh well

[tranny-alcchemy]

Post explaining what a system is perhaps? How does it work? Confused(<-me)

Sure! Yet note that we are only speaking from our experience and are absolutely NOT educated on many things about plurality (i.e. being a system). We are still learning too!

"system" is a term for when there are multiple consciousnesses in one brain, essentially. there are many reasons for this, but in our case its a result of trauma (i.e. traumagenic. other types exist too, but i would rather let someone who knows more about them to explain them).

To understand this better, think of the things that stress you out. now, think of what would happen if they stressed you out so much that it caused you to be completely overwhelmed. For many, if not most people, they would try to cope by detaching themselves from their own thoughts and identity in a process called dissociation.

In some cases, this is taken to such an extreme that a person's identity "splits", and suddenly they now have two identities in the ssme body! The identity that split off may also be based in some way around the trauma that caused it. For example, I, Abigail, was born from fear. As an undiagnosed autistic child, it was hard for us when we were younger to truly understand people. We had to learn the hard way how being social worked. And we never knew why we were such a mess either. Our young self was scared and lonely and desperately wished she could be someone else. Someone that was cool and would fit in better with other humans. Someone taht became me! She dissociated so much pretending to be me that I was eventually spawned as part of her. Thast a simplification ofc, but it works for now.

When we aren't "fronting", i.e. controllimg the body, we are all hanging around in an area of the brain called the headspace. Its our home, really. The headspace can look like anything you want. It's created by the brain, after all. For us, it's a massive rainforest filled with cute crestures. We, ofc, have headspace selves that dont necessarily look like our body. Phoebe, for exanple, is asian even tho our body isnt. Thats just how the brain generated her.

Nowadays, we have five members that we are aware of. While we are related, we are all different from each other. For example, most of us are different ages, which, in in the case of Phoebe and Giulia, has relevance bc theyre clues to why we split in the first place. Phoebe spawned from the conflict between us being treated as an adult as soon as we turned 18 (whenever it was convenient for those around us) despite not beung ready to be an adult yet. So, shes still a kid yet shes very mature.

Theres a lot more to be said, but im jsut a kid trying to figure out my own life. None of us are experts by any means. Id reccommend you do research on your own to supplememt what Ive said here!

- Abigfail

#fairypost

[l0gitex]

💕💔💎 for the hyperfixations asks

media hyperfixation ask game!

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

leut me tell you about.... OH

kimimaro orz............ i like him so much because 1) he is very cool 2) his design is good 3) his powers freaks me out. bones.. 4) ...HE IS ANOTHER REALLY SAD CHARACTER WHOSE LIFE IS JSUT......TRAGIC! thwarted by the narrative..... he was just born into a life of misfortune the way i see it, because had he even just not run into orochimaru so quickly he might have lived a normal life, maybe been a powerful (notfuckedupevilthatway) shinobi. something about him that sticks out to me is his extreme politeness, one that even mirrors lee in a way. another thing is .. a sort of low self esteem, judging by the personal pronoun he uses (this for the politeness as well, aand another thing he has in common with rock lee) & just the way he pretty overtly sees himself as worthless, having run out of "use" for orochimaru. his loyalty is something i feel like if he had been able to learn the world a more natural, less schewed way might've been his greatest asset; even as he was it was, only it also became his downfall. i think he had great potential to be somebody incredibly kind, but his worldview and values were warped entirely having grown up under orochimaru's care, going pretty literally from one dark hole to the next..lol :o( i like to think of an alternate way things could've gone, where kimimaro survives and leaves the village of sound, gets to become a person and.. live. i had the impression he never really saw the world at all there, and he deserved it as much as anyone. it's a nice thought for him to have slowly made friends, learned to really trust others, enjoy the simple things in life. see himself as more than a means to somebody else's goals. thinking about him makes me very sad. like a lot of nart characters the world and people around him were not kind to him, saw him not as an equal, not even as a person, but as a weapon, tool, asset. this is true for a lot of characters, but his story to me is one of the saddest ending ones. at least others with kekkei genkai or* great power (neji, sasuke, *gaara..) had some chance/success at learning there's more to their worlds than the narrow view they had, kimimaro however never had that chance at all. hurts.

💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.

sasuke 🧍

OK HEARME OUT i do not DISLIKE him as such really but i kind of care infintely more about every other characters' fucked up backstory so far than i do his LOLL. i attribute this largely to 99% of my knowledge of naruto until last year having been through jokes&memes, many of those having been sasuke-related i just cannot take him seriously almost at all. I'M SORRY SASUKE FANS....... i do get the tragedy of his upbringing and The Incident and everything but at the same time like he's just funny to me i can't not make fun of him. he's perfectly justified in being a brooding edgelord but he is still a brooding edgelord all the same. gaara had it way worse besides. LOL. <- JOKING!!!! MOSTLY!!! I'M JOKING

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

now this is my paraphrasing of it and i'm sure that among nart fans its common knowledge but when asked which of his characters kishimoto would want to marry*, if any, about the girls he said none bc 'he made them after all :)' and when asked the same about the boyz he had his answer locked and loaded. shikamaru. kishimoto has some kind of particular fixation on him and thats reallyreally funny to me and hilalrios. *i'm assuming this was asked by the time the characters had grown up and stuff so not mega weird although kinda it is but yknow

#answeinrg one of thes in between to get my brain back rolling #ive left so many ask game in my drafts half answered. my brain dsnt work #not art #ask game #media hyperfixation ask game

[kit-scrolls]

genshin brainrot/hcs bc i’ve been thinking about this wayyy too much

- i want to see keqing and zhongli interact so bad you don’t even understand i want to see keqing fangirl abt rex lapis while zhongli just stands there and goes “hmm... interesting... oh really? huh...”

- on the same vein, keqing and sara?? keqing sara and barbara?? power trio omg

- i feel like zhongli’s a bit more judgmental n aggressive than most people make him out to be. i mean looking back at the story quest, his lines abt ningguang n keqing... not zhongli slander btw i just have been thinking about him always

- more kaeya and venti content i’m literally begging you

- CAN WE PLEASE HAVE RAIDEN INTERACT WITH KOKOMI AND GOROU ACTUALLY CAN WE INCLUDE SARA AND MIKO IN THERE TOO I WANT THE PEACE TALKS I WANT THE NEGOTIATIONS I WANT THE PSEUDO-POLITICS I WANT THE AWKWARD REALIZATION THAT EI IS A LOT MORE SOFT SPOKEN THAN SHE APPEARS

- i want scaramouche to just bust into tenshukaku one day in the middle of one of those peace talks unannounced n just go about his business bc he and ei have already reconciled but no one else knows this

- @ ff authors consider present day kaeya n diluc time traveling back to before crepus died just to fuck with 1. their past versions 2. the rest of mond wondering wtf happened

- albedo’s skin is clearer than your mirror and reflects light like one too. he has white freckles and also his blood is liquid gold and his flesh is chalk thank you for your time

- the blood thing applies to raiden and scara as well i want raiden and albedo and/or albedo and scara to interact SO BAD

- can you tell i’ve been thinking about inazuma and archons a lot

- i want archons to have like. intermediary forms. i want raiden to have a puppet form with all the puppet joints and just like. kinda pop apart if you drop her from too high. she’s okay she just needs to lego her limbs back on

- i want venti to not have a face sometimes its just a straight up black void like in the manga. also, i want him to have a mask like the ones from sky cotl where its jsut all black w/ two little glowing yellow eye holes

- half dragon zhongli where he simply does not have legs. he is dragon. with horns. n teeth. also scars

- WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT ZHONGLI IS NOT ONLY HALF DRAGON BUT HE’S HALF QILIN TOO. HE’S CANONICALLY HALF UNICORN AND Y’ALL ARE SLEEPING ON IT

- qilins fuck do we ever talk about that? why are there so many qilin hybrids otherwise huh? we got zhongli ganyu and yanfei the only explanation is that they fuck

- I WANT TO SEE RAIDEN N ZHONGLI SPAR

- i want raiden venti and zhongli to sit down and have a conversation n i want raiden and venti to argue and then i want zhongli to tell them to shut the fuck up bc celestia’s watching

- gonna be honest dunno how accurate this is to her character and also haven’t done the latest archon quest so this can be a psuedo-au, but consider: raiden initiated the sakoku decree to keep inazuma’s development stagnant so it doesn’t end up like khaenri’ah, where its extreme advancements lead to its extermination

- more childe & his family content i want to see childe awkwardly navigate family meet ups i want to see supportive family i want to see not so supportive family i want to see childe go to “parent”-teacher conferences i want to see teucer join the fatui (same song and dance on ao3 i recommend its unfinished i believe but) i want to see teucer i want to see teucer i want to see-

okay that’s it i’ll reblog if i collect more/anyone wants to send me more if anyone wants to make any of this into actual content literally please @ me i am starving and in need

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin headcanons #genshin headcanon #get ready for a lot of character tags: #raiden #ei #raiden ei #zhongli #inazuma #morax #barbatos #venti #genshin venti #genshin zhongli #genshin raiden #kaeya #genshin kaeya #gi kaeya #long post #okay i swear i'll stop i think those are the most mentioned ones #send me your hcs i want to see them too #ALSO WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED IN A BSD BEAST VER #BC I WOULD BE #thank you for your time #kit genshin

[cassthecringe]

JOSEPH AVDOL FRIENDSHIP!!! please talk their friendship it's SO underappreciated and unexplored. possibly the biggest missed opportunity in canon when it comes to p3 relationships (thinking on it most of Joseph's relationships are)

you get me like no one else anon

i agree it's a very underutilized relationship. the only time we get to see them interact for a long period of time is when avdol and joseph were affected by bastet and welllll i think for obvious reasons that i wish that wasn't the only time is all

but i do think about them... i think about how joseph met avdol two years before he even got hermit purple. i imagine how they meet is like, joseph is in egypt for some speedwagon foundation event or another and something happens in the street, probably a robbery or smth. the thing is i think the robber was using a stand (i wouldnt be surprised if it was one of the standusers that later serves dio considering a) how many stand users there seems to be in egypt and b) how avdol knew them beforehand) so avdol, seeing this from his fortune telling booth, goes after the guy...but so does joseph. even though joseph doesn't know what's going on cause he can't see stands yet, he still goes after the robber. i think it kinda struck avdol. i dont think he quite liked it at first tho LOL i think he was like "you need to sit down youre gonna get hurt" and joseph is like "nuh uh" anyway the thief demands their attention and whuh! they actually work quite well together. i think after the fight joseph asks avdol if he wants to get a drink and avdol is like oh i don't drink alcohol so they go to a cafe instead and jsut talk. i think avdol kinda tells joseph's fortune there (less to josephs' face and more ruminates over his cards himself) and what the tarot cards tell him is that joseph is a very interesting guy. so even though joseph isn't a standuser (yet) avdol wanted to remain in touch. so i think that was the beginning of their friendship basically. i know it involves a lot of extrapolation on my side but that's what i think. lol

anyway i think they both liked traveling a lot and so they did during those three years before sdc! i think avdol met suzi during this time and they became friends as well. joseph "big bucks" joestar basically was able to take avdol anywhere he wanted to go and it was nuts. i think when joseph got his stand avdol was abso-fucking-lutely elated despite the circumstances of it manifesting cause i dont think avdol really had standuser friends until then (sure he knew other standusers which is why he doesn't have a kakyoin case but still). i bet you anything he was the one going through all these sorta tests to see what exactly hermit purple can do. god bless him avdol is absolutely the kinda guy to get so excited he's like we need to punch a camera now. i wonder if hermit purple manifests in the first place cause joseph was reaching to help avdol but couldnt quite reach him and then boom...vine time.

anyway i also think about joseph seeing avdol bloody in the street in india and scared he's going to have to bury another dear friend and while avdol was older than caesar he wasn't even fucking 30 yet he was so young and when it turns out avdol is breathing ohh i think joseph collapsed honestly. absolutely got at that bitch with some hamon and then ensured his private healing on that island. wagh.

anyway idk i jsut think theyre very silly together. i think joseph brings out the goofy side of avdol he tries so hard to conceal and i think it's quite relieving for avdol. avdol of course is a kind and reliable guide for joseph and he doesnt mind whenever embarrassing things happen and he still stands by him despite everything, both good and bad, stupidly absurd and morbid and serious. i think that in kind relieves joseph a lot. i dont think they really had a father-son relationship per seeeeee but i think it was a family bond. yeah.

anyway this got long sorry anon just. i have thoughts baout them. they were sooo close wah

#cass cries #jjba

[bunycube]

Hello!! i just saw your answers :') sorry it took some time!

aaaa i keep hearing lots of good stuff about Lamento but I'd have to find somewhere to download it tho I'm bad at installing games like that ,_, i did it for re:connect and it was a pain and took forever to figure out lol

i haven't played slow damage either! but i heard about the english release which is nice 👀

i only played TnC, sweet pool and dmmd .. it's funny because i never heard of any of those games before the beginning of this year :') i also prefer Sweet pool to TnC , just the whole general vibe i don't really know how to explain why tho x)

while i do love Tetsuo, Youji is alright too but for unknow reasons Zenya has stolen my heart :"))) and it's funny because i was expecting Makoto to be maybe the only "sweet" ending or something LOL it ended up being the most unhinged lmao i would have liked more than 1 ending option with Zenya and Makoto too ~

as for TnC Nano is my absolute favorite! i was also suprised with Motomi when i did his route i really fell in love with it too

currently listening to the sweet pool OST on repeat :')

rambled a lil so putting my answer under the cut!

OH HI HI HIIIII dony even worry abt it! man lamento is a pain to download i could only figure it out after looking at a youtube tutorial u have to dl all this extra stuff for it too its 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 but it was worth it for me!!! such a beautiful game, tho its so long.

WERE STILL WAITING FOR THAT ENGLISH TRANSLATION LMAOOOOO IM DYING OVERNEHRE I CANT DO THIS ANYMROE I WANNA PLAY OT SO BAD!!!;÷^#^@^$^#&

hehe i only got to know abt the other chiral games late in last year...b4 that i only knew dmmd 😭 tho im glad i found out its been keepint me going since then nsbfdbsb

oh same same same i cant rly explain what i love so much abt sweet pools overall setting and atmosphere its so quiet and kinda peaceful but also a lil ominous? it always feels like smth bad is goinf to happen, which it does. i guess...but yeah theres always that feeling of "something is happening" in the air even in ordinary scenes, and it feels kinda nostalgic..the setting..idk. i love the lgihting and stuff in it too and the muted colours hmm yes.

ill be honest i didnt like tetsuo for a rlyyy long time. i still feel he has a bit of a cardboard box personality but he has his moments, and i dont hate him or anything..youji is very close 2 me tho im very fond of him.hes liek a friend to me, idk why tho..and same!!!! zenya is ky fav char i liked him from his first appearance!!&$^@ he seemed like such an entertaining n interesting personality?#,%,# and thd mroe i got to know abt him the more itneresting hsi char got..

ik zenya has done many bad things and it disgusted me also, but overall i still thought he was pretty well written n hes definitelyyy my favourite chsr hes jsut so interestimg i could write a whole analysis on him i think..i should..tho i never want zenya n youji to interact they should be kept entire cities apart imo in fact zenya himself should jsut move away farrr away drom his dad and all thid bs i think.

plsss there r no sweet endings in sweet pool 😭😭😭😭 tho just for my own happiness i like to imagien a universe where youji n makoto actually get to rebuild their relationship post hospital scene, anf they all hang out like they had planned...CRIES....

hmm abt tnc id say rin is my fav i loveeee his personality his design (NOT HIS POST TIME SKIP DESIGN THAT OUTFIT IS UGLYYYY) !! i liked nano in routes that werent his, but his route left such a bad taste in my mouth i cant bring myself to enjoy him anymore 😢 he still looks very comfy cozy tho, which i appreciate! i knew id love motomi from the start bc hes a dilf character (which is My Type) and i heard hes really kind n sweet so i lovedddd him! i love akira also <3 and i unfortunstely kinda like gunji too im sorry im SORRYYYY HES TERRIBLE HE WAS JEUT RLY ENTERTAINING tho his ending was obv painful to sit through. im sorry !!!&#^$ and i lvoe akiractoo so much more than i expected? hes a good kid <33

IM RAMBLING TOO MUCH ILL SHUTCUP NOW SBFBSB TY FORNTHE ASKKK

#LOOK HOW HARD I CAN TALK ABT NITRO CHIRAL #ask #long post #i cant put things under the cut on mobile app or smth? ill try on desktop ver and edit the post if i can.. #oh ive always got the sp or lamento ost on repeat #tagging w the fandoms just so i can find it easily lmaoo sorry #dmmd #tnc #sweet pool #lamento

[raytm-moved]

talk about rook & idia-

GIVE ME A CHARACTER;

and I’ll break their ass down:

how I feel about this character: i adore idia, his entire vibe is immaculate and i just wanna give him a little pet as a treat. perhaps it's because im inherently drawn to the introverts: see levi from obey me but also the level of sass this man generates for someone who cannot hold a conversation irl without either perishing or going on a tangent for ten years is hilarious. all the people I ship romantically with this character: honestly i have not put a lot of thought into this of yet. i feel like it takes a certain brand of extrovert to haul his ass out of his perpetual blanket cocoon and actually do smth. angel showed me idia and cater which is been on my mind and mildly hilarious but im not sure. it would take plotting and the fucking slow burn of the century. either that or you hold his hand and he explodes instantly. oh, and yuu. My non-romantic OTP for this character: both lilia and ortho. i love those little gamers !!!! elaborating on their relationship would take me ten whole decades but i jsut want them to go on coop adventures and have a good time !!!! ortho is so important to him, the crux of his entire life basically, i just have a lot of feelings regarding the two of them. My unpopular opinion about this character: i think, despite the fact that idia is quite the introvert that he flourishes amongst other people. not sure if this is an unpopular opinion but he is out going !!! it's just getting passed the trauma and the i am mildly terrified of people era. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i just want him to hang out with his friends more !!!!

How I feel about this character: honestly, when i saw rook i had literally no idea what to make out of this strange lil guy. he just has some antics ??? he does and says things that make me go alskdkjasd but after seeing his interactions and witnessing him do his thing i'd say i've become pretty fond of this funky little guy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: rook and vil are married even though they have been in their divorce era on and off for a while now. rime is slowly selling me on him with leona idk what their deal is but it's there. My non-romantic OTP for this character: literally all the characters he interacts with in chapter six and any other character he interacts with. rook has this innate capacity to just bring out emotions in others and me that make me go he could be amazing or hilarious interacting with literally anyone. and then ruggie bc the one part where he pats ruggie's tail is hilarious. My unpopular opinion about this character: i feel like he gets comic relief slotted sometimes, maybe not as much as other's but i feel like there is a seriousness to him that is often neglected to shine through as much as the fact that he is batshit insane. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i just think he deserves a good mani pedi and to get his hair done.

#long post / #take it eat it. #feeds it to you.

[demonstars]

Seeing some other people's takes, honestly the one thing I'll happily concede is I think the apologies can be read in so many ways and there's not nessicarily one correct way

The issue about interpreting this arc, is that a *lot* of plans changed for it because people (ranboo) kept cancelling

I think Wilbur said that initially during the pair 'o dice arc there was meant to be closer to a dozen streams and in the end it was cut down to 5 and then those three were cancelled (cause of ranboo) so Wilbur wrote them into story form and posted it on ao3 and read it out loud

So a lot was condensed and cut out and I'm convinced that Wilbur was supposed to go on a full other villain arc before a redemption arc in that time just because of his attitude in the first two lore streams and the way that it felt like it was building up

Like, if you look at derivikats revived (fave song by them) it shows that attitude that the fandom held at the time but that people just forgot

And using fanfic as metrics. It is *fascinating* to me to see the fandoms attitude towards certain things and also the evolution of fanfic in this fandom. I hail from SBI but I self-imposed an exile after October and switching fanfic (also I was tired of found family I needed romance) the difference between the two types of fanfic really shows the difference in core values and thoughts and even the maturity level between the two sides

Also sorry my ranboo haterisms came out, I respect him and still keep up occasionally, however the way he handled stuff on the SMP really gets me

🌧️

AND FUCK RANBOO !

yeah like clearly it was meant to be something and another thing entirely came out of it, which is just how it goes with improv sometimes again BUT FUCKKK that guy he decided the smp was no longer profitable for him and fucking dipped after leaving a half baked character made up almost entirely from stealing bits from the fandom HE BELONGED TO!

i jsut think there's some really good stuff to be found in the sbi tag but by now all of it is delusion with supposedly smp characters that just don't hold the same weight (tho i will NEVA forget meridies if she decides to publish something i'll be buying preorders). i think big titles such as clinic and passerine really shaped what people looked in fics, and thus that created a lot of copycaps, i'll continue these thoughts in your next ask cause it's way more fitting lolol

#sorry this is not a rnboo positive nor neutral house 😭 mainly he annoys me #star asks #🌧️