#I CANNOT FUCKING FUNCTION

[moonahsrobin]

DI bones historical crime squad

#six idiots #them there #horrible histories #mat baynton #matty b #this whole manine #look how cute #I cannot fucking function

[skywlker-sluvtt]

OMG TEMUERA MORRISON IS GONNA PLAY REX IN AHSOKA

I CANT FUCKING BREATHE

IM SO EXCITED

#I NEED IT RN #I CANNOT FUCKING FUNCTION #ahsoks series #captain rex #ahsoka tano #temuera morrison #star wars

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

#humans are space orcs #humans in space #earth is a deathworld #earth is space australia #tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag #also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people #write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA #MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage. #especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry #evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally #ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting #after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater

[greeneyed-thestral]

#THE TENSION my god #i guess we are back to master baggins when we're not alone #bilbo 'i really cannot function when he gets so close fuck me' baggins #the hobbit #hobbit #bilbo #bilbo baggins #thorin #thorin oakenshield #bilbo/thorin #thorin/bilbo #bilbo x thorin #thorin x bilbo #bagginshield #martin freeman #richard armitage #the battle of the five armies #battle of the five armies #botfa

[kibbyanna]

#tumblrs search function is so fucking bad #i tried for a solid 30 mins trying to find this on tumblr #because i know i got this from tumblr #this image is absolutely on my blog #but i cannot fucking find it #so im sorry #the bats are back #new year new me #all time fav

[unsurebisexualcore]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP I THINK I JUST HAD A CRAZY TOGETHER MOMENT WITH MY CRUSH

OH MY FUCKING GAHHHHH

#HELP IM UNWELLL #I PHYSICALLY CANNOT FUNCTION THINK OR BREATHE RN HOLY FUCKING SHJTTTTT #byler #personal #NO THEY DONT WATCH ST BUT EVEN IF THEY DID WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSSSS #SOMEONE SEND HELPPPPPP

[vangoghsmissingearr]

Today I dreamt that Netflix renewed Lockwood and co for a second season and then I woke and reality dawned upon me and now I'm in the depths of despair.

#fuck netflix #i cannot function without thinking of them #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #save lockwood and co #cameron chapman #george cubbins #jonathon stroud #ruby stokes #i will sell my soul to the capitalists at netflix if then renew this show #netflix please #renew lockwood and co

[neurotypical-sonic]

sonic can alway tell about what time it is in the mystic ruins. he doesn't really do the whole time thing, he doesn't have a consistent sleeping schedule because his circadian rhythm is permanently fucked due to him constantly travelling all around globe. time zones mean nothing to him now. but he can always estimate when abouts in the day mystic ruins is in. he will get a text from tails, and depsite it being midday for sonic, he'll immediately go "hey. isnt it like. 3am there. what are you doing up." and tails will grumble about it's not THAT late, it's only 2am. sonic's internal mystic ruins clock does not take daylight savings into account

#but i do think the watch in his communicator is always set to mystic ruins #if it changed according to the timezones he was in itd be functionally useless. #sonic can estimate what time it is locally by the sun or by the starts #and he uses mystic ruins time to base the rest of the world off #hes pretty good at remembering how far ahead or behind mystic ruins is compared to other timezones. more or less #dates‚ however‚ are fucking lost on him. cannot for the life of him remember at what point on planet the day starts and ends #what do you mean this country is a whole day ahead that other one close by it??? thats fucking stupid. who made it like thar #that #sonic #sonicposting #egg.txt

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back

it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it

#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly #i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep #bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking #and i dont want either of them to get poisoned #but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink #but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me #and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin #im very good at fucking myself over in various ways! #if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently #what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry #except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything #sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible #if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way #from a Distance! #absolutely unprompted #i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders #they scare me So much.... #the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big! #i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there #but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside #so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider. #life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with #no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk #im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!

[crimeronan]

back to thinking about that worst timeline princess AU concept where luz and hunter end up with camila in the human realm when camila hasn't met vee and doesn't know about the isles. & so camila thinks that the two of them have just been held captive together for years.

i'm mainly thinking about my 100% certainty that luz would develop a Crippling case of agoraphobia for..... very obvious reasons. double-checked the definition just now because i was like "i'm pretty sure it's no longer referred to as a fear of being outside??" and yeah -- it's a fear of being in environments where you'll be helpless or unable to escape if something goes wrong. which. well. you guys know what she's gone thru.

that combined with the general confusion and sensory overload of the human world.... i think luz would get Very Very Very Upset if she was forced to leave the house. and going anywhere without hunter especially is a non-starter. like one of u guys said a few days ago, the sheer LEVELS that her separation anxiety would ratchet up to.... she's basically following him to the bathroom whenever he gets up and sitting outside the door like a lonely cat. i don't even want to CONSIDER the kind of breakdown she'd have if she was made to go out with camila to, like, a completely normal therapy appointment.

#on hunter's end he isn't afraid of being in the human world by himself but #he IS afraid of luz being in the human world (too many unknown variables) (cannot protect her) #and is terrified of being separated from her. about as terrified as luz is of separation from him. #therefore he has functionally the same restrictions on Not Going Anywhere #mostly just thinking about camila trying to learn very very very fast how to help a daughter who is So Unstable #when obviously letting luz and hunter spend 20 hours a day sleeping and moving as little as possible is not sustainable #but ~traditional~ recovery methods like dragging your kid to doctor and therapy and group therapy appointments are. extremely likely to #retraumatize her. camila's number one priority is luz feeling safe and considering camila a safe trustworthy person #fuck any and all Tough Love advice. shes gonna let luz n hunter breathe & she's gonna fret horribly about it #i dunno. i'm migraine. this means i'm thinking about luz and hunter being clingy and crazy #toh #princess luz au #horrible mindscape trauma pals #princess luz au worst timeline #camila noceda

[felixbian]

havent stopped thinking about how a kiss scene was filmed. i feel like eating dirt

#that makes everything Worse #cannot stop thinking about it taking place before the party and how the betrayal would be even worse for felix #this all corresponds with jacob saying felix tries to drink and fuck his problems away #im losing it. i cant function #eyes closing blacking out head hitting the floor #saltburn brainrot is getting worse by the day

[grymmdark]

going to a private school when you're genuinely middle class is wild. like i feel so privileged to have parents that can afford to send me to a private school, but at the same time my classmates are all taking like. multiple overseas trips a year during the school year and having their parents buy them brand new cars when they get a license and have maids come to their homes and can afford to taxi to and from school everyday.

like yes i am privileged to be able to go to private school, but compared to these people i feel poor. not in a "woe is me i wish i could do what they do" way btw but in a "it disgusts me how much money these people can spend without even thinking twice" way. and a lotta them are very aware that they're rich, but still don't have a grasp of just how rich they are

#grymms spectacular fucking posts #there was a kid who went here whose parents rented him an apartment next door to the school. which is in one of the richest neighborhoods in #this city. #he also preordered the fucking tesla cybertruck #and im not the only middle class kid here there's a couple others but mostly its rich people #i go there cus it's a school focused on helping kids who cannot function in normal school environments

[amatchinwater]

Finally watches Andrew's Spider-Man....

Me:

Send help...and fic recs

(Obviously, gifs are not mine, credit to their creators)

#instantly runs to fanfiction #cannot fucking function #hyperfixation unlocked #tasm!peter x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker #i am unwell #i need a fic of the whole 'i follow you at least once a day' because sIR?? #a bitch is not okay

[quintessential-candles]

Don’t you love when a friend tells you about something and then you become horribly obsessed with it to the point where you cannot correctly function anymore?

Me too, bro

#aftg #all for the game #yttd #your turn to die #witch’s heart #Mistrick #literally losing my mind #I cannot even fucking function #do not speak to me about anything else because I’ll think you’re speaking simlish or smth

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Ferrari is about faith, they value devotion and loyalty, it is a religion above all else. Ferrari is about the bond between the devotee and the team, it's about the unshakable belief that one day their dream will become a reality and about the determination needed to see that dream come to fruition. Many will kneel and pray at the altar of the prancing horse but only a select few will get to rise and write the next chapter of its' gospel. To some it offers salvation, to others only destruction. Ferrari demands sacrifice, it will take and take until there is nothing left to give because it is the dream, the legacy, that matters most, not the devotee. Yet, they still dream and they still pray anyway, because who knows, maybe they'll be the one, the promised prince, the predestined one, the one who will give it their all and more and who'll return the glory of golden days past. There's cruelty and there's beauty in it, it's both tragic and divine. Ferrari is about legacy and they never forget their heroes.

Red Bull is not Ferrari, though they bleed and cut the same.

Red Bull is about conviction, it is no religion but it requires faith just the same. Faith in one's self, in the team, is paramount. Red Bull backs their own absolutely and without hesitation. No matter how far their prodigal sons roam, Red Bull will always back them and, if the time comes, welcome them home again. Red Bull is also a promise, an oath, a vendetta. They are the personification of fuck around and find out and may god help any soul who dares doubt that. They rarely forgive and they do not forget, you go after one, you will get them all, they will always close ranks to protect their own. Their passion and their seemingly unstoppable drive are a direct fuck you to all who doubt them. While Ferrari is about their legacy, Red Bull is about their future, they have always strived and fought and persevered in the pursuit of the next one. Every victory and every moment of glory is not in spite of their doubters, but because of them, because of those who made Red Bull their villain. If nothing else, Red Bull will gladly give them a show.

Red Bull is not Ferrari, yet they still bleed and cut the same.

It takes a very specific driver to master the prancing horse or the red bull, because you can never truly tame either beast. Many have failed trying. But there are still those who become one with those beasts, drivers where, as time goes on, it's difficult to decipher where the team ends and they begin.

Drivers like that usually come once in a generation, yet they were born just sixteen days apart. The predestined son of Ferrari and the Red Bull golden boy. What a fascinating pair they make. What a spectacular legend, mythos, they are creating.

#max verstappen #charles leclerc #lestappen #i wanted to write more and better but they've genuinely broken me today lmfao #i keep thinking about the 0.000 i cannot even the fucking poetry of that alone #will write something better when my brain can function lol #high-key this is more Ferrari and red bull than about them lmao but again they broke me `\_(°•°)_/` c'est la vie