#Honestly October feels like a fever dream when I look back at it

[effloradox]

i've a nagging fear someone else is pulling at the strings

Chase Brody x IRIS!reader

"The date is October 20th 2019. Good morning Chase. How are you feeling today?" The man watches you as you take a seat across the table from him and place all your folders down. You're not a scientist he recognises, and yet something about you seems familiar. Weird.

"Fucking fantastic. Where's the other guy?"

"Today's his day off. Even scientists get a break every now and then Chase. I'll be filling in for him today to check up on your wellbeing if you're okay with that?" He considers you for a moment. The other scientist always looks so frustrated with him but you seem so earnest for him to want to speak to you. It's almost endearing. On the outside it would be flattering to have someone like you so invested in his wellbeing.

"S'fine. Not like I have a choice anyway." He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. He briefly glances at the camera that's been directed at him since he got here. It's almost like it follows him. IRIS certainly have the whole surveillance state thing down to a tee. The light remains off for now, he’s still not sure if that’s good or bad though.

"You always have a choice, Chase. Remember that." You smile at him, like you want to reassure him. The more he looks at you, the more he’s sure he’s seen you before. Fleeting images of you and a weird looking man drift through his mind but there’s nothing concrete attached to them, they feel like dreams rather than memories.

"Sorry but have we met before? You seem really familiar." He watches you closely as the gentle smile you'd been sporting quickly disappears as you press your lips into a thin line. Shit he didn't mean to upset you.

"Not as far as I'm aware. Is that sense of deja vu something you experience often?" You sound so concerned that Chase almost forgets that you're asking him in a professional capacity. You're a scientist, he needs to remember that and be careful what he says. Who knows how what he says could be used against him. You don't care about him, you care about what his answers mean for your research.

“Not that often. I felt it here when I first came in and just then when I saw you, that’s it. It’s not that interesting.” He waits for the rehearsed speech of “we’ll decide what’s important” and is mildly surprised when you don’t push him. You just make a short note on your clipboard and that’s that. He immediately likes you more than the usual guy.

“So, how are you feeling? What’s your emotional state where 1 is the worst and 10 is the best?”

“5? Maybe a 4? ‘M not too sure. Been getting bored waiting around with only a tennis ball to entertain myself.”

“We could provide you with some reading material if that would alleviate some of the boredom? I can’t promise it’ll be a New York Times bestseller but if it’s something that you would like, I can arrange to have something brought in for you.”

“That would be great, yeah. Could I have had stuff all this time? Why did the other guy not offer me anything?”

“Honestly, Chase, I’m not sure. He should have offered you something, it’s not like we want you getting cabin fever from being here. I promise after this I’ll look into it for you.” You're so different from the usual guy, he keeps almost forgetting what the symbol on your lab coat represents. He's been treated with suspicion and disdain since he was brought here, and then you come along and show him actual human decency. You're different from everyone else he's interacted with, part of him is hoping you'll visit him again. There's a prickling of suspicion about your behaviour in the back of his mind though.

"Why're you being so nice to me?"

"Believe it or not, we all just want to help you Chase. It's for your protection that you were brought here. We just need to make sure that you're okay and then you'll be free to go. The least we can do is help to make your stay here feel less like you're in prison."

"Wait, protection from what? I don't remember what happened to me, are you saying I was attacked or something?"

"No, nothing like that. We just need to try and build a better picture of what happened to you and the best way to do that is to keep you under observation. I just need to ask you a few more questions, okay?" He makes a noise of agreement and the next few minutes are spent going over the usual questions he gets asked during these sessions.

He senses the presence before he sees it. It's when you bend your head to make another note that he sees out of the corner of his eye a figure move through the room. When he turns his head it seems to vanish and then appear directly behind you. He wants to speak up, to warn you, but finds his voice is failing him and the figure moves to rest its hands on your shoulders. Chase expects you to react to the touch but when you give no indication that anything is amiss, he starts to worry that he genuinely is going crazy.

The sudden flashing light on the camera next to you makes you look up to see Chase looking at you with such fear in his eyes. "Is everything okay?" He nods but doesn't look certain. It seems like he's staring at something behind you but there's no one there, nobody else is in the room with you. He blinks his eyes rapidly, then flicks back to yours and he seems to relax ever so slightly. Interesting.

"Yeah 'm fine. What's the next question?"

"Actually I think we're done with questions for this session. Is there anything else you want to discuss other than what you've already raised?" He shakes his head in response to your question and he notes that you frown slightly at the lack of verbal response. "Well in that case, I hope to see you again soon. I'll get that reading material sorted for you, hopefully we'll be able to provide you with something within the next day or so."

Closing the door behind you, you make your way to the break room, but not before looking up and making eye contact with the WATCHR camera overhead. "114209 he's ready. It's time to begin." You end your sentence with a wink in the direction of the camera before making your way out of the building. Your job here is done. Now all that's left is to let Anti do what he does best. It's going to be a busy few days at the IRIS Institute and you can't wait to see it.

Notes: I really liked the idea of someone inside IRIS working with Anti and couldn't get this concept out of my head so here's my first dabble into writing Chase :)

#the iris project has all my writing brain cells in it <3 #my writing #fics #chase brody x reader #septic ego x reader #jse x reader #gn!reader #the iris project

[greatgigintheskiess]

With Me

Chapter 2: New Impressions

CW: (Implied) Child Abuse, Lab Whump, Starvation

Word Count: 2.6 k

--

The day had started like any other usual October morning for Don. He woke up on the couch in his living room at the time of 8 am, feeling more exhausted than well rested, since his bed had been taken by the boy he 'found' last night. Don pulled the thin blanket off his body and sat up. The small TV, standing on a wooden cabinet by the window across the room, was turned off. Don was only staring on a black screen, recognizing his reflection in it. His head was aching slightly when he covered his face with both hands and rubbed his sleepy eyes. A slight pain ran through Don's neck as he was stretching, massaging pleasurably the sore spot with his fingers. He stood up with a groan about his throbbing neck and went into the bathroom.

Water splashed against his face, immediately cooling his skin, which made him feel a little bit more awake. He turned off the faucet, braced both hands on the edge of the sink and took a deep breath with his eyes closed as remaining water dripped from his face. Don looked up and saw himself in the small mirror above the sink. His dark hair was unkempt, the eyes looked tired despite sleep.

We really should get more sleep, don't we?

It was no wonder, when he was always coming home late from hunting. And spending the rest of this stressful night on his small uncomfortable couch sure didn't help with that nor his neck or back. Last night was certainly one of the most exciting things Don had experienced in his life by far. Yet, he also had responsibilities to assume now- something he had never to deal with before.

Before, it was him. And only him. He had no one to care for, to look after.

But now Don had this weird little child in his house he didn't know what to do with. He was there and, in the aftermath, all of yesterday's actions still flashed before Don's eyes like a fever dream. And honestly, he also wished it to be exactly that- a dream.

Apart from this, the man tried to carry out his morning routine as usual though, trying to clear his mind with something familiar in all of this mess. So Don had boiled up some water to drink his coffee and sat down at the small table in his kitchen like every morning. He turned up the radio in the kitchen and listened to the news. Nothing unusual, still the same old stuff. After breakfast he decided to take a pain reliever for his neck. Don took the pill and swallowed it with a bit of water. Just when he wanted to put back the pills, he saw many bandages and salves laying on the kitchen counter, everything in a mess.

He sighed, being reminded of his main task once again. Because no matter how hard he tried to blend it out, pushing it in front of himself, maybe he really should look after the kid now.

Of that Don slowly became aware when he entered the bedroom and caught sight of a little figure laying in his bed, shifting and glancing towards him with big frightened eyes. Disinfecting the boy's wound wasn't easy, it really wasn't. And Don was so worried about doing something wrong, about hurting him even more. Sure, he also could've left the child there in the forest, claiming that it wasn't his problem. But something deep down in his heart had told him otherwise. Was it him getting attached to something way too quick or did he just see it as responsibility to purify his conscience?

When Don was finished with disinfecting and saw how the boy, Six, burst out in tears right in front of him, he also believed to feel pity for him. The man sighed.

What did I bring upon myself? Don thought to himself when he left the room, leaving the kid all puzzled and confused.

But the worst thing of all was that none of this had been the child's fault. He was just thrown into this complicated situation without being asked. Don could only hope that he would bring the kid back on his feet again as fast as possible before any local authorities got wind of this. That night, he had thought a lot about how to deal with this situation. It's not that Don wanted to get rid of the boy as soon as possible but, honestly, he also had a bad hunch about all of this. He barely knew anything about the kid and judging by his looks and weird behavior, something about this child seemed so utterly wrong.

Not to be selfish but Don really didn't mind returning back to his usual life without any further consequences or responsibilities. Right now, he only has to master this one situation. So the man turned up the stove and started making something to eat as it was already lunch time. Also the kid was surely hungry after the long night.

Don carefully opened the door to his bedroom and stepped in with a bowl and spoon in his hands.

"Six, are you hungry? I made you soup." He told the boy, who almost jumped up in the bed at the sight of the man.

The kid didn't reply and eyed Don as he sat beside him on the edge of the bed, helding the bowl out to him. At least, the boy had stopped crying and only reddened tired eyes anxiously darted at the man, dark eye rings underneath.

"There, chicken broth." Don added. ,,That'll get you back on your feet."

Six insecurely looked down to the food being offered to him and then back again to Don as if it was supposed to be something poisonous the man had tried to give him. The pleasant scents were rising into the boy's nose, tempting him to accept the offer as he felt his stomach growling. Still, he hesitated and didn't dare moving an inch, noticing the man's pinning glance out of the corner of his eye.

"C'mon, you gotta eat somethin', kid." The man urged the boy.

He already expected this kind of reaction as the child still wasn't fully trusting him. But Don wanted, no insisted, on taking care of the boy's basic necessities. He was shocked how light the kid was when he had carried him to his car and his house last night. He weighed almost nothing, the child was only skin and bones. Plus, physically he was still in a very worrying state. Don remembered the many injuries and bruises on the boy's arms and legs, so that he continued to ask himself what had happened to him. Although, if he was being really honest, he wasn't sure if he wanted to find that out.

Six still looked a bit unsure but Don could clearly see him staring at the bowl with hungry eyes. Then, he finally gave in and took the bowl with trembling hands, feeling the warmth of the soup in his palms. The boy straightened a bit in the bed, placing the bowl on the blanket between his knees and chest.

Don watched the child patiently, handing him the spoon, too.

"Careful though, it's hot." He told the boy, who seemed to enjoy the warm feeling in his small hands as his features eased in an instant.

Don really didn't want the kid to be more uncomfortable than he already was in the man's presence. So maybe he could at least make the boy feel warm and fed.

The kid hesitantly took a spoon full of soup and drew it to his lips. The warm liquid poured down his throat, leaving the delightful flavors on his tongue. He had never tasted something so good before. He took another spoon, this time a bit more of it, but still cautiously. Another one followed and another, until the bowl was empty.

Don couldn't help but smile as the boy seemed to like the food a lot.

"Good?" He smirked, expecting an affirmation, praising his rather non-existing cooking skills.

At least there were some people who would eat his food, Don thought amused.

The boy nodded eagerly in response while eating the broth spoon for spoon. Warmth spread within his body as he finished eating. It felt good.

For a brief moment, the boy really felt delighted, could blend out all these negative things in his mind. But in the next, Six was thrown back into bitter reality. He wasn't supposed to feel good. It just wasn't his natural state. Whenever he briefly had felt good, pain would follow right after. So it was no wonder when he soon started developing feelings of shame and embarrassment. Because even if there had been happiness, it always left behind that bitter aftertaste of not knowing how long that feeling would last.

So the boy started feeling anxious again and winced when the man had addressed him.

"More?" Don asked, still with a slight smile on his lips.

Staring at him, Six only now did realize that he was asked a question. There was more of it? Usually, he only got one portion of food per day. And now he could eat more than that? It appeared odd to the boy but honestly, he really would like another bowl of this. Just when he wanted to open his mouth, there again was this feeling. That shouldn't be it. He was not allowed to ask for more food. Everyone gets their ration per day, no exceptions.

Back there, he never got the opportunity to eat as much as he wanted, so the boy's decision wasn't that hard to make. He had to use this opportunity, because who knows when the next time would be, where he could get any food? You're disgusting, he thought to himself. You're selfish. And being selfish means punishment.

Don noticed that the kid was pondering about something after the question but decided to wait for his response. He saw how the child's cheeks turned crimson, he flustered, was too embarrassed to look into the man's face.

"Y-yes...?" The boy replied shyly, tapping his fingers at the sides of the bowl he was still holding in his hands.

It sounded more like a question than an answer to Don. And when he noticed the boy was trying to avoid any eye contact, nervously fidgeting his fingers, he could also tell that the kid was very embarrassed right now, though he couldn't think of a single reason. What was wrong with asking for more food?

Still, he gave the boy a warm smile.

"A'ight."

Carefully, the man took the bowl out of the boy's hands and went into the kitchen. He came back with it, completely filled with broth again, handing it to Six. The kid again hesitated first, until he started eating more avidly, without even looking at Don, as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Gods, kid. You're actin' like you eat it for the first time in your life. Doesn't your momma give you that when you're sick?" He remarked, a brow furrowing in confusion.

For a brief moment, the boy hesitated, his glance falling to Don.

Don believed he might've hit a soft spot when mentioning the boy's parents in his remark. Maybe the child had some bad experiences with his parents so that would be the reason for not mentioning them at all. Maybe they neglected him, were abusive even. But, to his surprise, the child didn't even flatter one eyelash. Six slightly shook his head in response before averting his eyes.

"Just paste..." The boy mumbled as he swallowed another spoon of soup.

Now Don was really confused. He gave the kid a puzzled look, not understanding what he meant with that. After all, Don had the urge to find out more about the boy's background but hesitated to ask him about it as he feared doing something wrong. He was rather insecure with kids, like really insecure about what to say and what not. Despite that, the man had tried to appear as friendly as possible but building up trust was surely a challenge for him to face. Especially if it was kinda his fault that the boy even ended up here with him.

"Paste?" Don frowned. "You mean like porridge or mush?"

The boy finished his meal and stared into the empty bowl. Don wondered if it had been enough to satisfy the child's hunger.

He also noticed that the boy's attitude from before now drastically changed to a more serious one. Before, he was full of emotions; fear, tension, shame, anxiety. But now he sat there still, barely breathing and it seemed like life had disappeared out of his eyes.

Just when Don wanted to add something, he heard the boy mutter something under his breath.

"Concentrate... It's grey, no taste. But regains strength."

The man thought he had misheard. He believed to know what the boy meant with that but didn't want it to be true. That couldn't be it. Don't tell me the kid never got something else to eat than that.

Concentrate, feed. The stuff they give to animals.

There was no feeling in the world that could express the one Don had right now. He already thought the conditions, where the boy used to live in, to be bad, but not this bad. That was just straight up awful.

No wonder why the child was so skinny and emaciated without any proper nutrition.

Don shook his head in disbelief. He really hoped that the boy was only lying to him and this was supposed to be some kind of unfunny joke but, judging by the serious expression on the child's face, it appeared to be the truth. Six still was sitting on the bed motionless, staring into the bowl, Don beside him, speechless. He had thought so long about how to respond to that shocking answer but didn't come up with any.

"And what 'bout your parents, boy?" Don asked instead carefully, waiting for the kid's reaction.

Six didn't raise his glance but continued to run his tiny fingers along the bowl's edge.

"I...never knew them…" He replied absently.

That was when Don believed to see something dawning on the child's face. It was sorrow. He looked down on the little boy, eyeing him for a while with concern.

"So you're an orphan, aren't you?"

No reply.

Although, one wasn't needed anyway. The answer was pretty obvious.

That explained a lot but at the same time nothing at all, Don thought. He had tried so hard to look through this mess but the more he found out, the more he felt insecure with the boy.

All in all, this whole case was certainly one: Confusing.

Eventually, Don decided to end this conversation here and leave the boy alone; these probably had been enough impressions for one day. And Don didn't want to overwhelm the child more.

So he stood up from the bed and pointed to the bowl in the boy's hands. "I'll clean that up first. Comin' later again."

Six finally raised his head, as if he was thrown out of his trance. He didn't reply but watched the man silently exit the room again.

His glance fell to the window, through which he could see a forest of pines in the distance while the landscape was completely immersed in dense autumn fog, the sun barely shining through. It was afternoon already.

--

Taglist: @i-eat-worlds @smellofsnoww

#lab whump #hospital whump #whump #child whumpee #caretaker #recovery whump #original story #original writing #whumpee #whump writing #found family #whump community #hurt/comfort #parental caretaker #post rescue #ocs #writers on tumblr #medical whump

[thepiecesofcait]

Okay, this might sound kind of weird, but I am absolutely OBSESSED with your drawing of 'disguise'. I don't know why, it's just... the proportions are perfect, the way each little part fits together, her expression, the red highlights... for some reason it just hit something really deep inside of me so thank you for that.

I always love hearing about people’s reactions to the different pieces from that series!

It was such an intensely busy time for me, and I didn’t get to really dwell much over finished pieces, but I’ve been looking back over them recently and Disguise is one of my favourites. The quote really hit me the minute I read it, and I’m glad to hear the drawing did it justice!

Fun treat, because I very rarely share unfinished pieces: here’s the digital draft for Disguise! (featuring the rough sketch on the right that locked in the direction for the whole piece)

I did all my drafting in procreate then used a light box to transfer the key parts to watercolour paper for inking. This saved me so much time, since I could move and resize stuff super quick before committing to pencil on paper, and also I could play around with where my lightest and darkest parts would be to try keep decent contrast between overlapping parts.

#Honestly October feels like a fever dream when I look back at it #and that’s not just because I got sick as hell for a week in the middle ^^ #wild. #can’t wait to finally get these sorted for a zine. #I’m working on it! #spare time is just being an elusive beast at the moment #Eponine #Les Miserables #The Miserable(s) Month #Les Mis #Drafts #Sketch #Procreate #Cait Makes

[purpleandgreen13]

Stardew Valley Inktober 2021

Inspired by @buttonso 's SDV Inktober list, I'm writing a one shot every day for October. I have done 4 already (the fifth will be later today) but thought I would post them here too.

October 1st Junimo

Inspired by the Star Trek original series 'The Trouble with Tribbles'

Dammit Lewis, I’m a doctor not a vet.” Grumbled Doctor Harvey at his clinic where he, Marnie and Mayor Lewis are stood looking the five tiny figures laying in a large cardboard box on the examination table. They are covered in scratches and making distressed cooing noises.

“Please Dr Harvey?” Pleads Marnie, her eyes filling with tears, “I found them in the barn, the cows didn’t mean to rough them up, they were just curious.”

“What are you doing with these creatures anyway Marnie? Junimo’s import to Ferngill is strictly controlled.” Doctor Harvey peers over his glasses.

Marnie looks shifty all of a sudden and Mayor Lewis shuffles uncomfortably, “Lewis got me a special license!” Marnie protests a little too loudly, “We’re breeding them as pets. Look how cute they are! People are going to love them!”

“You are aware of their other reputation?” Harvey asks, “They’re prodigious breeders. They can have up to seven litters a week and they’re banned in some places. In the wild they have plenty of predators but in domestic situations you can easily get overrun."

“Please Doc. We can make it worth your while.” Lewis wheedles.

“Lewis. I don’t want your money, except for the medical bills. I don’t like seeing any creature in pain. Leave them with me, I’ll make sure they’re well looked after and I’ll patch up their wounds, give them a course of antibiotics and they should be right as rain in about four days.”

“Thank you so very, very much, Doctor Harvey.” Marnie gushes with relief as she clutches Harvey’s hand. Harvey frowns. This is very much against his better judgement, but the animals need care and he WAS the closest thing this town had to a vet, he supposed.

Once Marnie and Lewis left, Harvey lifted the blanket covering the box.

“Oh Yoba.” He muttered quickly lowering the blanket again. Already the junimos, which he had to grudgingly admit were cute, were In flagrante delicto, busy at work in the cardboard box creating the next generation of apple-like creatures.

Harvey mused that the small animals were getting more action than most people in the valley, including him.

He fetched his medical equipment and carefully lifted each Junimo out of the box, whenever one was free from its activities. Each one squeaked in protest as Harvey checked it over, applied antiseptics to cuts and grazes, then administered antibiotic in a small pipette to each of the five Junimos. They’d need a few days care, but they were mostly badly shaken up. They would all be fine, he was confident.

He supposed he should separate them into males and females, but honestly, Harvey had absolutely no way of telling them apart, so he left the blanket on the box after giving them some guinea pig food provided by Abigail and a bowl of water, and retired for the night.

Maru was first in the clinic the next morning and when Harvey entered the reception area, still a little bleary-eyed from sleep, she looked furious.

“What- what’s up Maru?” Harvey asked nervously.

“Why are you keeping so many animals in such a tiny space Doc? It’s downright cruel!”

“What are you talking about?”

There are almost 50 Junimos squished into a cardboard box in the hospital section! I can’t believe you left them like that? You do know it’s illegal to keep them without a license?” “Fif-FIFTY? Harvey suddenly felt a bit faint. “There were only 5 yesterday!”

Well, there’s about 50 of them now. We’ll need to find them better housing.”

After searching through the clinic for boxes big enough to house 50 Junimos, Maru makes a decision, that Harvey mutely agrees with.

They let the Junimos loose in the hospital wing of the clinic, leaving them food and water. At the end of the day locking the door behind him, Harvey couldn’t help but feel he’d made a terrible mistake.

‘Junimos reach sexual maturity within 24 hours of birth’, he read in one of his encyclopaedias, ‘as beings who derive their bright coat colouring from magic in the air around them, they live relatively short lives and breed as much as they can to ensure survival of the species. The magic that sustains them, makes them attractive to female junimos also kills them. Their twin purposes in life are to procreate and eat.’

In the morning there were more than 500 Junimos on the hospital wing. Maru could barely open the door and then could not close it. There were junimos everywhere, in the pharmacy cupboards, under every chair in the waiting room. Maru found two in the drawer of the till.

Harvey was going spare. His beautiful clean, sterile clinic had turned into a zoo. He coped as well as he could, but that evening, he called Lewis in a panic. His first attempt to pick up his phone he picked up a Junimo instead, he swept 7 of them off his chair in his office. Several of them piled on his warm lap once he sat down. There were several of them sleeping on the examination table. The noise of Junimo mating was cacophonous.

“Hello!” He bellowed into the phone when Mayor Lewis picked up. “LEWIS! It’s Harvey here! You’re going to have to do something about these Junimos! There’s hundreds of them!” “Sorry Doc! I can’t hear you! Are you having a party? I will come and pick up those Junimos from you on Friday! You said 4 days for the antibiotics to work didn’t you? I’ll see you then!” and with that the line goes dead.

Harvey has had enough. He wades through the Junimos lining the stairs to his apartment, grabs his jacket from the hook behind the door, empties the pockets of Junimos that have settled there, and makes his way gingerly out of the clinic and to the saloon. He stays far later than he should and he dreams in junimos the entire night.

Wednesday is hell. Exponential Junimo growth means that every surface is covered with squeaking, breeding and pooping animals with no regard for Harvey’s cleaning routines. He opens his kitchen cupboard for his coffee mug and is rewarded by e seemingly never-ending shower of small apple like creatures bouncing off his head and scurrying away. He tries to count them but here are far too many. That night he goes hungry because there is not a crumb of food in the house. When he climbs into his bed, he is surrounded by the creatures, cocooned in a kind of living Junimo blanket. The sleeping creatures start snoring. By itself a junimo snoring is a sweet sound, like sighing, but by the thousand, the noise is deafening.

When Maru arrives on Thursday morning, Doctor Harvey is a broken man. She pushes the door of the clinic open with some difficulty, the sheer weight of the creatures holding back the door.

Harvey is seated behind the counter, asleep, head in arms, dishevelled and unshaven. Junimos on his lap, his shoulders, in every one of his pockets. The squeaking and chirruping is so loud that Maru has to cover her ears as she approaches the sleeping man covered in the apple creatures.

“Doc!” She shouts above the row. “Doc!”

Harvey jolts awake. The junimos on his lap fall off, but are replaced with many more, jostling for a place on the doctor’s warm knees.

“I’ve brought someone who might help!”

Through the mounds of apple shaped bodies Harvey can just about make out a large cowboy hat and a purple beard. He scoffed to himself, the crazy guy from the tower? What was he going do here? Set traps? Give them all contraceptives. (Harvey had already considered it, but he calculated that the cost would be more than he made in a year).

With some difficulty the self-proclaimed wizard moved to the wall of the waiting room and in chalk drew a large circle with undecipherable symbols within its parameters. He yelled one word “Quiet!” Which made Harvey and Maru both jump. Surprisingly, the Junimos still and there is peace in the clinic for the first time in days.

He grinned at the medical staff, “Couldn’t hear myself think in here.”

Harvey has to keep himself from rolling his eyes when the wizard gets out a wand. Seriously? He’s muttering something that Harvey can’t quite catch and is sure is gibberish. He almost wants to laugh when the man turns around and makes an extravagant gesture with his arm. Harvey takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes, feeling overwhelmingly tired. When he opens his eyes again, the Junimos are gone.

He blinks. Not a single Junimo remains.

The place is a mess however. Chairs are overturned, the plants have all been eaten. Magazines shredded. Harvey dared not look at the damage in his neat pharmacy and sterile hospital room.

“Where did they go?” He stammers, his entire belief system shaken.

The Wizard smiles enigmatically, “Somewhere I think they should be.” With a dramatic swirl of his cape, he exits, leaving Harvey and Maru to clean up the mess. Harvey thinks he can smell sulphur, but blames his overtired fevered brain.

**~~**~~**

In the Mayoral Manor, Lewis is doing his weekly book work for the town finances. A little bit off the top here and a little added to his own bank account. No-one ever asks to check the books. The amounts would not be missed.

There is a flash and suddenly Lewis is surrounded by small apple shaped creatures. They’re everywhere. A heaving mass of Junimos covers the floor and already some of the creatures are getting into his food cupboards, locust-like they start to methodically eat everything they come across.

Over in the clinic, broom in hand, Harvey swears he can hear screaming coming from Lewis’s house.

#stardew valley #stardew harvey #stardew valley harvey #sdv harvey #sdvharvey #harvey sdv #harvey stardew valley #sdv #inktober2021 #inktober #SDV Inktober #Stardew Valley fanfic

[randomoranges]

good god almighty. here is part 4. somehow longer than the other parts. somehow with more Emotions. i decided to not be vague and call the spades spades. this one is more nsfw because of things étienne mentions. 

again, minor character death and lots of introspection ha ha .

ive been working on the beast for like almost a month now. part 5 aint even done. im so glad i hacked it up in the end. 

PART IV

“The 60s were good with that – for forgetting and moving on. There was – or seemed to be this renewed sense of freedom, as if the people were finding their true purpose in the city. A great big curtain was being pulled back and we were given the opportunity to redefine ourselves. It felt like hope, in a way and with the distance put with the church, I felt I could breathe a little more and I was able to find myself. By the time Expo rolled around, it gave me purpose – something to do. The energy in the city was astounding. The projects people were coming up with – the possibilities they were unveiling – I had never felt something like that. I thought for sure this energy would see us through the next one hundred years; we’d be feeding off of it and returning to it for years to come. It would be our source of creation. Everyone seemed to be excited; the world was literally in our backyard and it felt good to bask in the attention.”

 It made sense for Étienne to have Expo, considering how good he was at catering to others – at giving them the good time they wanted. He thrived in giant crowds and lived for the attention. Plus, at the time, Montreal really did feel as though it was the center of Canada. It still felt like an other-worldly experience and there were still times when Edward wasn’t convinced Expo hadn’t been one massive hallucination. And he’d only been a small part of it, unlike Étienne who had lived every stage of it.

 “With the change of decade, going into the 70s, I expected much of the same – moving forward, the endless possibilities of the future and such. For the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to having more time – to being immortal and being able to experience every change. To make new connections. Expand and broaden the horizons and such.”

 “And then it all went to shit, starting with the October crisis. There was a lot that happened in the 70’s and not everything was bad, but for me, personally, it was a series of euphoric highs and devastating lows. In the same breath of the Crisis there would be a Cup win, then there was the Exodus, the language debacles and it never seemed to end. Up and down and up and down. One giant roller coaster that never gave me a chance to catch my breath. It was hard to feel anything let alone make it constant. It took a toll – added up and left me reeling in ways I had never thought possible. I couldn’t finish celebrating the Cup that I would get notified that something terrible had just happened. I would be relishing in disco and there’d be a murder. It was too fucking much. I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything I had worked so hard to build was slowly being torn from my hands and what was left didn’t seem to matter enough. The proverbial carpet had been yanked from under my feet and no matter how many times I tried to get up, I just kept falling and falling and falling... there was no end in sight.”

 Their correspondence at that time had petered off, somewhat. They’d both ended up in unpleasant situations and the last thing Edward had wanted to do was to take a pen and write to his friend to let him know how miserable he was. There’d been times when he’d wondered if his friend hadn’t found out about his fate and had left him for dead as well and it had only been later – much later – that he’d found out through Étienne exactly why he hadn’t written as often, if at all, for a few years.

 “I’m not exactly proud of what I ended up doing, but it seemed like the right solution at the time. I was a mess. I needed help but I didn’t realise it and I wasn’t sure there even was such help for such a lost cause. Working the streets and the clubs were as much self-punishment as they were the only place I felt I could succeed. It was easy to spread my legs to let some random guy fuck me in an alley. It was easy to pretend to be someone else. It was easy to get down on my knees and suck them off. It was easy to let others use me as they wanted and write it off as being unworthy of anything else. This was where I belonged – with the outcasts and the has beens.”

 There’s a shuddering breath that’s released and Edward has no idea if it’s his or Étienne’s. He’s astounded his boyfriend is willingly talking of this chapter of his life. It had taken years for Étienne to even speak of it to him and the confession had been a quiet halting thing that had taken him a while to piece together.

 Yet, despite finding out, it hadn’t changed Edward’s opinion of him. If anything, he had found Étienne brave and courageous for telling him about it and his heart had ached for him even more. Étienne was worthy. Étienne wasn’t a failure and he succeeded at so many other wonderful things. In his opinion, he was still as relevant as before and had never been an outcast or a has been. He was still a leader and trail blazer in his own right, even if Étienne himself didn’t always realise it.

 “When they gave me the Olympics,” Étienne goes on, once more showing that he is brave and more than the terrible things that he had gone through, “I hoped this would be the shot I needed – that it would be as wonderful as Expo had. If anything, it would be on a smaller scale than Expo. It would be a piece of cake, I figured. At least, they’d given me the Olympics in a timely way and not last minute. Therefore, there would be no excuses to fail. but for as much as Expo felt like a fever dream doused with magic, the Olympics were harder to get going. There were so many things that went wrong. So many strikes. So much corruption. The magic was gone. It was the opposite of what I needed and it just drove me further down my own spiral.

 “So I went for the drugs and the sex. One made me feel when I was numb, one numbed everything when I felt too much. And the sex was as much a means to an end as what seemed to be the only thing I could properly deliver. So I stuck to it. Went in and out of these phases. Went on the biggest of benders, woke up in places I had no recollection of going to and such. Drove Élyse nuts. But it didn’t matter to me; I’d still be alive, so who cared what I put myself through?”

 Edward wants to say that there were many who cared, but he knows that it would fall on deaf ears. He gets what Étienne means by it, but it still hurts him that his boyfriend had had to go through all of this. He gives his hand another squeeze and if anything, Étienne offers him a small smile, acknowledging the gesture.

 “I was all over the place and when I finally met Koffey, shortly after the Olympics, it was quite by accident and he took me by surprise.”

 “Everything about our relationship was different than the others I’d been in up until then. For starters, it didn’t happen the way the others had. It wasn’t the usual meet, sex and eventually develop feelings. He’d been living in the city for a few years when we met. He’d immigrated here, in search for a new adventure – ahead of the wave that would come later on. He’d decided to open up a restaurant, bringing us the local flavors of his own country. I stumbled there, quite by accident and I was most likely high and not even fully coherent. To be honest, I can’t even say I remember that day; he’s the one who told me later on.”

 “I ended up returning. Later. On a better day.  I think I was convinced it was my first time here, but Koffey was a little wary of seeing me again. Apparently, I had been a little rowdy on my first visit... Yet, he still gave me a chance and was still very polite while he served me, if a little guarded. I felt bad, so I returned and the more I went back, the more I was drawn – by him, his cuisine, and his quiet sense of humour and intelligence.”

 “He eventually realised I wasn’t a complete asshole and he’d start coming to talk to me when the restaurant was quiet. He was – a breath of fresh air, really and at the time the one good thing I had going on. It felt like being thrown a lifeboat – something to hang on to while I tried not to drown – by my thoughts, my life, the shit-show burning around me. A beacon of hope and light I clung to desperately.”

 “I honestly didn’t even think Koffey was interested in men. It surprised me, when one day, I hung around until the restaurant closed. I waited for him out in the back, not wanting to go home just yet. I also didn’t think going home just yet would be wise. I was still all over the place and I knew that if I went home I’d end up using or doing something even stupider. Having a friend helped keeping my thoughts on track. Koffey, without knowing what was going on in my head, helped keep my mind quiet. I wanted to know more about him and his life, so I focused on that. Anyways, it’d been a quiet night and we’d been having a grand old time chatting. I thought maybe we could walk around and bum out in a park. Summer was starting to settle in for good and it was a perfect night out. Warm and this side of humid, with a gentle breeze to make it pleasant.”

 Edward has his own thoughts and ideas about the description of the weather, but he schools his face in a neutral expression and listens on.

 “He was surprised to see me out back, but pleased and we picked up our conversation from where we’d left off. We ended up taking the long way back to his. I didn’t mind having to walk back to mine after and the extra detour would do me some good. However, he invited me in for a beer and I obviously said yes. He was my friend, after all and the thought of a cold beer to end the night sounded great.”

 “We must have spent a few more hours drinking beer and talking and somewhere along the line, he leaned in and kissed me. Completely unprompted. I was shocked and surprised and at first he thought I wasn’t interested, since I hadn’t kissed him back. He must have apologised at least a dozen times. It was quite funny, really. I’d keep trying to tell him that it was fine, but he wouldn’t listen. And the more he went on, the more afraid he was that I’d do something to him – which was quite sobering, let me tell you. I finally took matters in my own hands and kissed him myself. We’d been hanging around together for months, by then and had I known, I would have put a move on him sooner, maybe. The kiss finally got him to stop apologising and for a moment after that all we did was make-out on his couch like all the terrible clichés in movies.” He laughs at that, fond, as he twiddles with an unlit cigarette. “It was so different, though – soft and tender. Nicholas had been very forward with his kissing that first time. I knew we would end up in his bed the moment he kissed me, whereas with Koffey – it almost felt hesitant and cautious and I thought that was lovely.”

 “He still asked afterwards if I was that way, which I thought was both endearing and silly – considering I had just kissed him and wouldn’t have minded him kissing him some more. I assured him that I was and to prove my point, I kissed him again. I recall teasing him about it later, asking him if he needed another kiss to be sure I was into men. He thought I was being ridiculous, which was saying something.”

 There’s a gentle, soft smile that graces Étienne’s features, not for the first time during their talk, and Edward wonders what memories his boyfriend is reliving – what images his brain has conjured for him to revisit. He’s glad, though, that despite the heartache that Étienne still has fond memories of Koffey to go back to.

 “I wasn’t in love with him – not at that point, but I was certainly drawn to him. He was – beautiful. On the outside as much as on the inside; a gentle soul, really. I would have willingly gone to bed with him that night, but he insisted we wait a little and take things slow. This had never really happened and even though I was a little annoyed, I didn’t push the issue and floated back home after one last kiss.”

 “He actually – I swear, the next time I went to see him, he actually asked me out on a proper date. He was too much! And I couldn’t believe that a man like Koffey, sweet and gentle and kind, would want to date me who felt broken and used and soiled in so many ways. But he saw beyond that and insisted we go on a proper date before we went to bed together and so I said yes; because I did really want him and I loved his company.”

 “Our first date was nothing extraordinary, but it was nice – to be taken out – to feel as though I was worthy of someone’s attention and affection again. It was almost as good as a high. He took me out to dinner and then insisted we go to a movie and he was so gallant about the whole thing. He paid for the meal and for the ticket and don’t ask me how the movie ended, because halfway through we started making-out in the back and before the movie ended we left to go back to his.”

 “Koffey was – so very sweet to me. Our first time together felt like something out of a romance movie. There was no frenetic urgency to it. It wasn’t just sex because he wanted a fast way to get to his release. He made love to me. Me! It boggled my mind. He kissed and caressed every bit of me that felt broken and used. It was – wonderful and too much and I tried changing the pace to something that felt less consuming ‘cause I couldn’t handle so much love being given to me, but he kept on finding ways to make it less about the sex and more about us and I couldn’t take it. I eventually broke down in tears.”

 “And get this – he thought he, of all people, had done something wrong to me – that he’d hurt me in some way. I came clean to him. Told him everything. As much as I could. The drugs, the streets – the fall from grace. Every last ugly truth came out as he held me in his arms and made sure I understood I was someone worthy of love again. I felt stupid for breaking down and felt even worse for needing him to comfort me. And despite that, there were still things I couldn’t tell him. He tried asking about what was bothering me – because he could tell. Even when I lied – he could always tell when there was more – when everything in my head was too loud, but it was hard to explain. I couldn’t just say oh by the way, I’m semi-immortal and I represent a city. Yeah, fucked up I know, but I swear that’s not the acid talking.”

 “It wasn’t stupid,” Edward breaks. He knows Étienne is in a better place now, but he also knows his boyfriend is still prone to great bouts of self-doubt that do more harm than good to him. He’d hate to think that Étienne still feels that way.

 “I know,” Étienne responds quickly. Edward wonders if he isn’t deflecting, but he figures Étienne’s heart has been scorched raw enough for the day that he can let it slide for this time.

 “You’ve always been worthy of love,” He adds softly and Étienne stills for a moment.

 “I know.” He says again, but it sounds different this time around; a little more vulnerable and fragile. Edward wants to gather him in his own arms and hold him tightly, but instead he keeps hold of his hand and lets Étienne carry on with his story.

 “I made it up to him, later, once the storm had passed. I didn’t want him to think that I would be some emotional weight to him. He’d wanted sex so I made sure to deliver. He was still very sweet and loving with me and I tried to ignore it. I focused on making it good for him so that he wouldn’t toss me to the side and in my mind it worked. Yet, thinking back, there were still times when I felt like he was onto me. Like he knew when I was faking it for both our benefits, but he let me be.”

 “Still, for as much as Koffey was good for me and to me, he wasn’t a cure to all my problems. It would’ve been too easy. He helped – more than he probably ever realised, but I was still reckless and I still fluctuated. Bad days and worse days. On those, he’d simply hold me in his arms and let me cry in them.

Sometimes there’d be an okay day. He made it tolerable. To be alive. Made the sharp edges rounder. Made me feel like I could hang on another day. And there were those times when I felt like I genuinely wanted to be around – for him. I wanted to take him somewhere or kiss him again. I wanted to tell him some funny story I had heard or simply go to bed with him one more time. So I stuck it out and tried to survive.”

 “He was so kind and patient with me. He loved me, despite what I was and how I was. He loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. God, I never deserved him. He was too good for me and to me. And somehow, I repaid his kindness by making him sick and killing him!”

 “You don’t know that for sure.” Edward replies quickly, without thinking.

 He remembers the visit. Remembers finding out about the real significance of Koffey. Of going over to visit Étienne and finding him distraught and broken hearted. Of Étienne bringing him to the cemetery. The breakdown and the tears. The trembling murmured admissions of guilt. The dawning connection he’d made.

 Edward had been in his own headspace at the time and their correspondence had petered out, hence his grasp of Koffey’s role in Étienne’s life had been lacking in some regards. But standing by that grave, with his friend opening up about him and telling him what had happened had marked Edward.

 “I may as well have, Edward.” Étienne snaps. He lights up the cigarette he’d been previously playing with and takes a long drag from it. “He died and it was all my fault. I couldn’t even – I wasn’t even there when he died. I was too afraid. And ashamed. I was a coward. He’d chosen me and I may as well have tossed him out.” He flicks the ash with more force than necessary and when Edward spares him a glance, he sees the storm of hate and shame fight in Étienne’s eyes through his unshed tears. “He deserved better – after everything he did for me and I repaid his kindness by being a coward.”

 Edward knows that there’s no sense in telling Étienne that it’s not his fault. His boyfriend will keep berating himself until he runs out of steam and he supposes that it’s best to let him be and wait it out. Yet, it doesn’t sit well with him to have Étienne react this way. Sure, he could have been responsible for Koffey getting sick, but at the same time, there was no actual proof. He hates that it still eats Étienne alive and part of him wants to take him by the shoulders, shake him, and tell him to convince himself otherwise. Especially if it’ll help him move on. But – he’s known Étienne for too long and knows that such actions will do him no good.

 Instead, he waits and starts to itch for a cigarette of his own. He settles instead for a deep breath and then another. He thinks back to his own response to the crises. To the way he’d taken action. The misery and heartache he’d seen and lived. The friends he’d lost. The ones he’d buried. He thinks of running to Montreal to get away from it all and leaning on Étienne for a chance to forget and leave it all behind. There’s an irony here he still hasn’t fully grasped but it’s a reflection for a different day. There’s already enough that’s been looked over for one day.

 “I don’t think he would have wanted you to beat yourself over it,” He offers instead. Étienne sniffs loudly and doesn’t give him an answer. Instead, he remains quiet, fighting with his own demons.

 “You never did tell me why you called him Koffey,” Edward tries again, minutes later, when he feels that the mood has shifted once more and that Étienne has calmed down some. Perhaps this approach will work better, he thinks.

 Étienne sniffles and rubs at his eyes, “Oh,” He starts and a small smile deigns to make an appearance on his face, which Edward is thankful for. “Apparently, his regular customers used to call him that. He thought it was hysterical and he never really liked his own name. I never questioned it beyond that and it stuck.”

 Étienne grows silent after that and turns reflective. Even Mercury seems to sense the shift in mood and nuzzles her way up to his arms for cuddles. The distraction serves its purpose and Étienne focuses on her for a while, caressing her fur and scratching her behind the ears, which she seems to enjoy, if Edward is to judge by the wagging of her tail. He watches and lets them be for a while, glad the dog can help where he can’t.

 “You would’ve liked him,” Étienne quietly says after a while. He’s not looking at him, hands still buried deep in Mercury’s dark coat, but Edward doesn’t mind.

 “I’m sure I would have – he sounds like a great guy.”

 “The greatest.”

 Not for the first time, Edward wonders if Étienne’s feelings hadn’t become tainted with guilt over the years. He doesn’t question Étienne’s love for Koffey, but he wonders if the circumstances of his death haven’t left a lasting grip on him that wouldn’t have otherwise been there if the man had died of natural causes at a ripe old age. The wounds are still too raw and fresh to ask, so he lets the matter rest and figures that there will be other occasions to ask.

 They fall silent after that, both lost again in their own thoughts. He hears the occasional snuffle from Mercury and sends out a silent prayer of thanks to whatever higher power there might be out there for her presence in Étienne’s life. In the few years Étienne has had her, he already sees the difference and impact she’s made in his life.

 Eventually, Mercury settles back on Étienne’s side and his friend leaves a hand around her neck, absent-mindedly stroking her dark coat, while he reaches out for Edward’s own hand with his other. Edward is a little surprised, but he doesn’t mind and let’s Étienne play with his fingers. He traces the lines on his hand with the edge of a nail and draws loops with it afterwards. Edward watches the movement carefully with his eyes and finds it oddly grounding in a way. He hadn’t realised he’d felt a little unmoored by these tales and he wonders, not for the first time, just how attuned to him Étienne really is.

 They settle around each other, the breeze gently ruffling their hair and Edward takes a deep breath to process some of what he’s just heard.

 “And shortly after Koffey died, while I was still mourning him and hating myself for everything I had done, you came along at both the best and worst moment of my life.”

--

Part III Part V

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #fic #projocanondoko

[bookscapadesblog]

What to Read While Stuck in Quarantine

Right now, many people (myself included) are stuck inside and social distancing due to the Hell that is considered our world because of Corona.  As a fun activity for myself and in the hopes of maybe helping a few people through this weird/uncomfortable/stressful/whatever other negative phrase you want to use time, I thought I’d compose a list of books that may occupy your time. I’m going to try and stick with completed series or stand-alones so that in addition to everything else you’re not miserable you have to wait for a new book.

Similiar to my Non-Horror October reads post, I’ll add the Goodreads link so you can check out ratings and such!

So...here is my list of books that might help get you through the dumpster fire that is our current situation!

(I am aware some of these are very popular but I’m adding them anyway in case someone hasn't read them)

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas 

After serving a year in a slave camp, Celaena Sardothien is granted the chance at freedom when the crown prince chooses her to be his champion in a competition to find the new royal assassin.

If you haven't read this series yet and love YA fantasy please do yourself a favor and get it. Katie and I love it so much

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

A loose retelling of Beauty and the Beast; Feyre is dragged off as a prisoner to a magical kingdom after killing a faerie while hunting in the woods.  She comes to learn that maybe her captor, a beautiful Fae trapped in a mask, might not be as terrible as she thought.

I’m not even going to lie this was difficult to give a two sentence summary of. The first book is great but 2 and 3 are exponentially better and Feyre is just the badass woman we all need.

The Iskari Trilogy by Kristen Ceccarelli 

Asha is the Iskari, responsible for hunting dragons in her kingdom. Engaged to a man she will never love, she is given the opportunity to prevent her marriage by killing the most ancient of all dragons.

All three of these books are interconnected but each one follows a different main character.  They were all AMAZING, but book two (The Caged Queen) was my favorite

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

In the country of Ravaka, cut in half by a darkness called The Shadow Fold, Grisha are an elite magical group.  After learning of her own abilities during an attack on the fold, Alina Starkov is taken away to learn to harness her power while under supervision of their leader, The Darkling.

I put off reading these like an idiot and finished them a few months ago and absolutely loved them. King of Scars is a continuation but maybe wait until the second one comes out to read it because I’ve been struggling getting over it and anxiously waiting for any news about it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Kaz Brekker is one of the most notorious criminals in Ketterdam. When offered a job that will make him rich beyond his wildest dreams, he gathers a crew that can help him pull off a deadly heist.

This book has an array of diverse characters and a lot of excitement and hijinks. Takes place in the same universe as Shadow and Bone, so I would recommend reading it after them, but it can be done on its own.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

The small town of Sparrow is located on the coast of Washington and has a troubling history.  Every summer witches possess three mortal girls and use their bodies to lure boys into the ocean and drown them.  When a new boy arrives Penny doesn't know if she will be able to protect him from her sinister home.

I read this one in a day and absolutely loved it. Easy and entertaining read.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tried of being in the shadow of her older sister so she devises a plan: make the Shadow King fall in love with her, marry him, and then kill him and take his kingdom.

This book was described as a ‘slytherin love story’ and I was all about it. It was an easy read and definitely kept me intrigued in the story.

Gone by Michael Grant

All adults disappear, along with cell phones, internet, and any other way to get help. Teens are left to pick up the pieces in this sic-fi story.

I read this series a pretty long time ago but it was SO GOOD. Grant did such a great job sucking you in, to this day I will still recommend it to people.

The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning (Book #1 is Darkfever)

When her sister is murdered, MacKayla travels to Ireland in search of answers. While there she learns she is able to see beyond the human realm, into the real of the Fae.

Honestly this series was so wild and I remember there being some unnecessary erotic stuff but it was still SO DAMN ENTERTAINING. A good way to escape the humdrum of quarantine life.

Anything by Gillian Flynn

If you need a thriller, murder mystery, etc just honestly pick Gone Girl, Sharp Objects, or Dark Places. They're all so good.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber 

Scarlett has always wanted to participate in the fantastical performance that is Caraval. She gets her wish when an invitation arrives, but then regrets it when she learns the performance centers around her sister Tella, who has been kidnapped by Caravel Master Legend.

I love these books. Scarlett and Tella are both amazing in their own way and the mystery and not knowing what is real and whats part of the game makes it so fun to read.

These Rebel Waves (Stream Raiders) by Sara Raasch

Adeluna is a soldier that helped free her home island of Grace Loray from its oppressors, the kingdom of Argrid. Devereux is a pirate, sailing the waters of Grace Loray and collecting its magic plants and selling them on the black market.  Benet is the Crown Prince of Argrid, unsure of his father’s beliefs and methods after watching his uncle and cousin burned to death after practicing magic. Their fates are intertwined as they all search for peace between Grace Loray and Argrid.

Katie and I both just read this and they were so good. The beginning is a little slow but the history you get on all the characters is great.

Angelfall (Penryn and the End of Days) by Susan Ee

Angels of the Apocalypse have fallen to Earth.  Streets are ravaged and life as we know it is over. When Penryn’s little sister is taken by Warrior Angels, she's willing to do anything to get her back, even make a deal with an enemy angel.

I looked for a hard copy of this trilogy everywhere and couldn't find it, so finally gave up and got the kindle books.  I loved it, the end of world sci-fi and enemies-to-lovers tropes were wonderful.

The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking) by Patrick Ness

Todd Hewitt lives in a town of only men, where everyone can hear each other’s thoughts.  He stumbles across a girl in the swamp, the only one he’s ever seen and it sets off a chain of events that can't be stopped. On the run and hunted by the only people he's ever known, Todd tries to discover the dark truth of his world.

This series was so well written and just sucked you in. Even if it seemed like nothing was happening or was going to happen soon, I couldn't put it down.  The books are all long too so thats a plus for quarantine reading.

And if you need something to bring you back to a time when things were simpler, may I recommend rereading some old favorites, two of mine are:

Harry Potter by J.K Rowling and Percy Jackson and the Olympians (also The Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan 

These don't need links, but they were two series that I loved when I was younger. The Goblet of Fire was the first big chapter book I ever read on my own and PJO just was so fun. I just read all the PJO graphic novels because I found them when I redid my bookshelves and it was a nice little escape.

Honestly, I have more recommendations but I feel like this is a long post already so I’m going to stop here and maybe I’ll do another one.

Anyway...happy reading, I hope this helps someone. It definitely improved my mood. Just remember High School Musical and hopefully we’ll get through this soon.

#books #booklr #book recommendations #book rec #throne of glass #tog #sarah j maas #sjmaas #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #the last namsara #the caged queen #ISKARI #kristen ciccarelli #shadow and bone #siege and storm #ruin and rising #the grisha series #leigh Bardugo #six of crows #crooked kingdom #the wicked deep #shea ernshaw #the shadows between us #gone #michael grant #the fever series #karen marie moning #gillian flynn #gone girl

[just-jellyfish]

Expanding on my stupid SCP ideas pt.2

these ones are less developed then the last post’s but eh whatever, i did call em stupid after all

plus it gives people more creative liberty should they take any inspiration from my fever dream ideas

Burning Pile (yes this is a Mother Mother reference)

Class: Keter

It’s literally a town that burns down on October 10th every year without fail

Nothing can be done to prevent it or put it out once it has begun

Doesn’t spread outside of city limits

No residents can leave and their bodies have seemingly developed an immunity to the fire

However they claim that their souls are burning with causes them extreme pain

{it sounds kinda similar to the Rain no that i’ve written it out, but i don’t really care. This was mainly inspired by the pure anger i felt having to evacuate my house for the fourth year in a row cuz of fires :) }

Living Piggy Bank

Class: Safe

Putting money in it is like feeding it

Taking money out is like gutting it

The piggy bank will make noises of gratification, distress, etc. in response to stimuli, just like a normal pig

The fact that taking out a couple cents out of the piggy bank is basically the equivalent to pulling out its kidneys is kinda uncomfortable

{Someone’s probably already done this one before}

The Dentist

Class: Euclid

Dollar store SCP-049

I hope you’ve been flossing

If not this bitch is gonna turn all of your bones into teeth

What’s behind it’s mask? Perfect teeth? Fucked up teeth? No teeth? Who knows? It’s up to the reader to imagine it

{A little too similar to SCP-049 for my liking but I’m sure someone could come up with ways to improve my outline, get some dentist representation}

The World’s Worst Wardrobe

Class: Safe

Walk-in closet with lots of mirrors, lights, and expensive looking clothes

Once you walk in, the door shuts behind you

You are dressed in the most atrocious outfit possible

Honey you look like a fucking clown trying to pull off an Adam Sandler fit

It is not good

Can’t remove clothing for a day

{my boyfriend came up with this idea. it honestly might just be better as a -J}

Enforced Wall

Class: Safe

An indestructible steel-enforced wall with the message ‘STAY STRONG’ graffitied onto it

Being near it makes you feel self-assured

The closer you are, the more confident you become

It’s a self-confidence wall

{my boyfriend came up with this idea too. i thought it was kinda cute. maybe not article worthy, but perhaps in a lop or smthn}

Hand Direction Pointer

Class: Safe

Severed arm that when held points in the direction the person holding it wants to go

Always accurate

Sometimes it points in other directions than the person wants to go, or points even when the holder doesn’t want to go anywhere

In those cases, the hand is pointing them towards safe places to hide from a threat, or a place where they need to go

Generally very helpful to those in need

Also affectionate, as when someone held the hand during a test, the hand squeezed back

The hand is believe to belong to a former janitor at the Foundation, ████ ██ ████, who was killed during a containment breach at Site-█

It first displayed it’s anomalous properties junior staff pulled the arm from the rubble thinking the owner was still alive

The arm then pointed directions for the junior staff to follow which helped them successfully evacuate the Site without encountering any hostile SCPs or other danger

{my boyfriend also came up with the concept for this one, while I manifested the backstory for it. It’s kinda wholesome. i like it}

An Umbrella that Rains on You

Class: Safe

It’s an umbrella that rains on you

Some times it’s light mist and sometimes it literally might as well be spitting out a waterfall

“Man, what a shitty fucking umbrella”

*Rains harder on ur ass

{this is the last one that my boyfriend came up with. another potential -J}

Self-Insert Disease

Class: Keter

Specifically occurs within the SCP Foundation

Mildly contagious, but more so to new AND senior staff

Makes people act like they are the main character when they are NOT

Self-centeredness

Causes reckless behavior with SCPs and other staff

On occasion alters one’s personality completely

More prone to accidents, fights, or drama

Sometimes entire events originate from/center around them

Earlier cases resulted in termination since they didn’t really know it was an SCP at first, but as it continued they are developing ways to treat those whose minds have been infected

{If no one else has done something like this yet I’m going to be pleasantly surprised because I would like to take credit for this}

{I’m too smooth brained tho, but I hope i was able to explain this one well enough to get my message across}

And there we have it I think! Next up we have tales... oh boy... those are gonna be difficult to explain...

#scp #scp ideas #scp foundation #smooth brain strikes again

[scrvivorisms]

Desiderium

An ardent desire or longing, especially a feeling of loss or grief for something lost.

 A music Playlist about a dead girl and her broken hearted other half searching desperately and fruitlessly for her missing lover.

Creator’s Explanation:

 I just wanted to explore how it would have felt from Chloe’s perspective the very emotions she would be cycling through while looking for Rachel Amber. All the way from remembering promises and exact memories down to regretting and questioning the legitimacy of their whole relationship. But feel free to experience this dumpster fire called Amberprice.

FULL PLAYLIST

1) Yellow by Coldplay

Your skin

Oh yeah, your skin and bones

Turn into something beautiful

You know

You know I love you so

You know I love you so

2) Feeling Whitney by Post Malone

And I've been looking for someone to put up with my bullshit

I can't even leave my bedroom so I keep pouring

And I ain't seen a light of day since, well, that's not important

It's been long

3) How by Daughter

How long must I wait for you

Undone in the evening?

How long must I wait for you

To become what I need?

4) YEAH RIGHT by Joji

Yeah, right, yeah, right

Yeah, I bet you won't cry

Yeah, I bet you won't try

But you know I don't mind

But you know I don't mind

5) Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

The ways in which you talk to me

Have me wishin' I were gone

The ways that you say my name

Have me runnin' on and on

6) No Below by Speedy Oritz

And though I was sad, I was better off just being dead

Better off just being dead, without my old friend

True, I once said, I was better off just being dead

But I didn't know you yet

7) Forget Her by Girl in Red

I spend all my days

Trying to forget her face

She's so hard to erase

I don't think she can be replaced

She stole my heart and ran away

Left me with some things to say

I don't understand

8) We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow by Soko

And I can tell

That you didn't had

To face your mother

Losing her lover

Without saying goodbye, Without saying goodbye,

'Cause she didn't had time.

9) Saturn by Sleeping At Last

I couldn't help but ask

For you to say it all again

I tried to write it down

But I could never find a pen

I'd give anything to hear

You say it one more time

That the universe was made

Just to be seen by my eyes

10) Otherside by Perfume Genius

Why can't you miss me

From the Otherside?

11) Worldstar Money (Interlude) by Joji

I looked at you and said, oh-oh-oh

Don't hate me, am I crazy?

So tenderly you watch me burn, you watch me burn, oh

So tell me, am I crazy?

12) The End by Daughter

You wait to find that I'm still here

And you've been waiting for the light to shine

Wake up, wake up, wake up

I'll be the answer to the question

I can't answer, it's a question

13) Amber by Koethe

Home a distant time

Smoke ore clearer skies

Everybody lies

I know I know

14) Mountains by Message To Bears

And we could run away

Before the light of day

You know we always could

The mountains say, the mountains say

15) Nothings Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

Nothing's gonna hurt you baby

As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine

Nothing's gonna hurt you baby

Nothing's gonna take you from my side

16) She by Dodie

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

17) Bare by WILDES

Throw me down

I'll steal the moon

I'll tear the night

Keep it from you

18) My Tears Are Becoming a Sea by M83

I'm slowly drifting to you

The stars and the planets

Are calling me

19) I'll Still Have Me by Cyn

Maybe in another life

Everything worked out alright

And things that made this harder passed us by

But there's no bad dream to wake up from

Know I got it bad when it's the morning

And you're all that's on my mind

20) Butterflys Repose by Zabawa

The sun's already set, now

Won't you go to sleep, now?

I'll see you in your dreams

'Cause I'm right here

Darlin', I'm right here

21) Dead-Bird by McCafferty

And I know just what it means

It means she's just like her mom

She'll end up lonely and sad

She'll end up alone with rings

With rings in her mouth

With guns in her house

With holes in her heart

22) Moving Pictures Silent Films by Great Lake Swimmers

Where have you been?

And what have you done?

I've been under the ground

Reading prayers from this old book I found

Under the ground

Saving it up

And spending it all

On moving pictures

Silent films

23) Juliet by Royal Wood

You can be my one if you wanna go

You can be my Juliet then

And we can drift asleep in a lover's pose

But never go away

No poison here, we're safe

24) Let My Love Weigh You Down by Early Winters

I dreamed that we had awakened

By a clear pool of still water

Nothing of ours had been taken in flight

I dreamed our bodies unbroken

Mended upon the still waters

Drifting upon what is spoken at night

25) You Broke My Heart Again by Teqkoi, Aiko

I think you broke my heart again

Please don't leave, and take my hand

Drowning inside these walls of fear

Take my hand, and stay with me my dear

26) I'm Closing My Eyes by Potsu

I know you so well

I know you

I mean, I can do anything that he can

Without you

27) The Thing About Things by Amanda Palmer

The thing about things is that they can start meaning things

Nobody actually said

And if he couldn't make something mean something for me

I had to make up what it meant

28) Where's My Love SYML

Cold sheets, oh, where's my love?

I am searching high, I'm searching low in the night

Ooh, does she know that we bleed the same?

Ooh, don't wanna cry but I break that way

29) I Love You by Billie Eilish

It's not true

Tell me I've been lied to

Cryin' isn't like you

What the hell did I do?

Never been the type to

Let someone see right through

30) Discoloration by Dawn Golden

I saw your face reflected on the resonant screen

And I watched your mouth moving like a tired machine

Trying to plead with me

Trying to swallow me whole.

31) Haze by Amber Run

My friends have all left me,

Away on the breeze.

There's a crushing silence where love's a disease.

Like a fever it grips me,

Like a lover it holds.

Scared of getting older,

Scared of dying alone.

I'm in a blue haze.

A blue haze.

32) ilomilo by Billie Eilish

I tried not to upset you

Let you rescue me the day I met you

I just wanted to protect you

But now I'll never get to

33) Mice by Billie Marten

Watch me as I go and separate the ones that I am made to love and hate

And slowly counting down my body weight

I'm tired

I'm tired

34) Lighthouse by Patrick Watson

Cause I know

I've seen you before

Won't you shine

A little light

On us now

35) 9th of October by Tove Lo

9th of October, I always remember

No bad things had happened then

Honestly, you never thought you'd fall for me

But somehow you got pulled in

Livin' so fast, makin' memories last

'Til our hearts couldn't hold no more

Hear you explodin' while I am implodin'

Now, how did we let this go?

36) Small Hands by Keaton Henson

Miss you terribly already,

Miss the space between your eyelids,

Where I'd stare through awkward sentences

And avoid through awkward silence

Miss your teeth when they chatter,

When we smoked out in my garden

When we couldn't sleep for all the heat,

Soft talk began to harden.

37) You by Keaton Henson

If you must leave,

Leave as though fire burns under your feet

If you must speak,

Speak every word as though it were unique

If you must die, sweetheart

Die knowing your life was my life's best part

If you must die,

Remember your life

37) Milk Teeth by Keaton Henson

Don't think of me like that

Just picture me leaving and not coming back

I'm sat where we sat

Just picking the labels

And lighting a match

38) If I'm To Die by Keaton Henson

If I'm to die,

Before I reach you,

Please know I meant to love you,

Till I did.

#Bullet Magnet 🦋 Chloe #I loved her so much 🔥 Rachel Amber #8 Tracks 🦋 Music #reblog do not repost

[coepiteamare]

2020 in fic

2020 was terrible year but an okay year of fic considering i didn’t really write till october. 

STATS: fics: 1 fic; i wrote drabbles because i can’t write long fics. but i wrote 8 drabbles? female pov: 8 male pov: 1 (i thought i had more but nope, they’re all wips) both pov: 0 (i haven’t written anything long to justify both pov) total word count: (lol, i’ll update this later but i know it’s absolute shite) OVERALL: Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? both! i started this blog in january, wrote two things, then forgot about it because life kind of took over. because i didn’t write for so long, i didn’t intend on coming back, but i realized that i had a couple wips for the dictionary of lovers that i never uploaded so i came back sometime in october? (i published one and then kind of tucked away the rest because i wasn’t sure what i quite wanted to do with tdol)

i started off this year intending to write and finish tdol (26 drabbles), but that didn’t end up happening, so less. but when i stopped, i also didn’t think i would ever come back to posting, yet here i am! and i’ve posted drabbles and have a bunch in the wip folders, so more! tl;dr: less than i thought but also more than i thought. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? i don’t write cross fandoms anymore (though that was my start in ff, my peak poetry days), but i never thought i would write 2nd pov/memberxreader because i started off writing memberxmember fics for bangtan, so i suppose that!  Did you take any writing risks this year? most definitely. i never thought i would write 2nd person pov, but here i am. and i didn’t think i’d write memberxreader, but here i am! (a bundle of surprises i am) 2nd person pov is actually a lot harder for me to write, but i’m getting better at it. 

pens and paperwork actually has a lot of dialogue and less purple prose: i think it’s the one piece i wrote that was less emotion based and more plot, which is very out of character for me. it’s also a little (a lot) different than what i normally write, so that was also a risk, but i enjoyed writing that one so much: it’s definitely one of my favourite pieces and i want to flesh out that universe a little more. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? write! longer! fics! i want to rewrite “the dictionary of lovers” and put it together into a long fic. i have a multiverse fic that i’ve been planning out, and i want to finish 9,719km and make it at least 10K: i want to practice fleshing out characters and worlds. my goal in general is just to write a long fic (9,719km, i’m looking at you). and also return to writing memberxmember fics too (i have a namgi fic in the works and there are def taekook ideas). get better at writing openings and closing and titling fics. god, i suck at titles. 

also, i would very much like to publish most of my wips. so, future violet, here’s to hoping you do that.  What were last year's goals? this is my first year, but last year, my goal was to just start a writing tumblr and write! and i’ve managed to do that! so yay  🎉  BEST AND WORST: My best story of this year: nine thousand, seven hundred nineteen kilometers. i love it to bits and pieces and i had it in my drafts for a while? because i wanted to publish it as a full fic but who knows when that will be, so i published it anyways. also this part was so much better than the other parts, so no regrets, i suppose. i think it is my favourite piece i’ve written, along with pens and paperwork, because it’s so different from what i’m used to writing? (both are also yoongi fics, funny enough) i definitely think it’s less purple prose (though 9,719km def has elements of that still; can’t get it out of my system) so hs me would not have approved, but i love it to smithereens. i try to not read any of my fics after posting them though because i’m incapable of letting it be: i have to perform autopsies on it, pick at the bad parts, cut open the good ones for flaws, until it’s virtually unrecognizable and ruined, so i can’t bring myself to reread it, but as of now, from what i remember, i think it’s my best story.  My most popular story of this year: love is a losing game (we played anyways): i’m so flattered and in awe that people actually liked this story because it was so hard for me to write. it’s only 1k and it took me a good week before i could publish it because i kept tripping over the language. and i felt (still feel) like pre-dialogue and post-dialogue are two different stories, which was extremely frustrating for me. i think i can write dialogue (this story is a different beast, just because of the nature of the beginning) but it’s really hard for me to combine poetry/prose with dialogue. i feel like it throws it off but the only other way to write it would be in a short bit compilation (i’ll write fics like that again someday) and i didn’t feel like it would work for lialg. (funny story: it was actually a royalty!namjoon fic where he wants to give her the world but it turns out she was a spy and she essentially burns his kingdom to the ground) i’m honestly not too happy about how it turned out but i’m still glad people enjoyed it!  Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: none! i really didn’t expect to have an audience, so people stopping and reading my fics? wild. Most fun story to write: pens and paperwork. that drabble was so much fun to write and i loved the characters. also gave me the least amount of headaches, probably because it kind of wrote itself once i started. i really do want to expand on that universe, just because i want to revisit it and explore 007′s background (maybe write about 005 and 006 as a spin off though whether i want to make it taexreader or taexjimin is to be determined) and yoongi’s journey in the MI6/NIS as well!

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: probably pens and paperwork? i’ve always known that yoongi was a dynamic and versatile person but that fic really did it for me. i can totally see him being this sarcastic, dry person, but also someone with a lot of love and care for others, like he does with 007 by bringing her alc when she’s in pain and generally trying to distract her as she’s getting stitches. someone who’s as loud as they are quiet. i definitely want to write more soft yoongi though. 

Hardest story to write: i am your ocean (your little mermaid). hands down. i don’t know if tae is just really hard to write (for me) or if that fic was a monster of it’s own, but i spent two+ weeks working on it. it went through so many storyline revisions and changes and then even after i had a decent idea of the final plot, it took me another week to write fucking 1.4k. absolutely awful. do i like it? i don’t even know. but i don’t like hoarding fics, so it’s out there for the word to pick at, to dissect it’s anatomy, to taxidermy it.  Biggest disappointment: the movietheaterworker!oc x marvelnerd!jk fic that i never published. i don’t know if it’s just bad or it’s just not what i wanted but i haven’t touched it since october (and idk if i want to look at it) so that says something. 

in terms of something i published, probably “heart” from tdol. i re-read it recently and it just felt really bleh to me? i should have more attachment to it considering it’s my first drabble on this account but nope. some parts of it are cute but it’s so clunky. i don’t like it.  Biggest surprise: pens and paperwork or monsters under the bed. pens and paperwork because of how much i loved it/how fast it wrote itself and how much i liked it afterwards, even though it’s written in a much different style than i normally write? monsters under the bed because it was written with no direction and honestly feels like a fever dream (though i did have a backstory to jk’s character and his relationship with oc), yet it still was well liked! i kind of posted it as the start to the “things you said” drabble collection and was like here goes nothing, but people seemed to really enjoy it!! which was very surprising. and my butterfly, noor, called me the bob ross of fanfiction (that still cracks me up) so!  Most unintentionally telling story: hmmm...probably anything from tdol. i’ve been so fortunate to have such beautiful, healthy, intimate platonic relationships, but the one (two if we’re being generous, which we most def are if counting it) romantic relationship i’ve had was quite awful and extremely toxic. (ask me about it if you want to: i like to rant about it from time to time) so tdol is a creation of wishful thinking, of what i think a healthy relationship should look like, through the ups and downs, the highs and lows. because i don’t have experience with healthy romantic relationships, i def put a lot of my friendships and bits and pieces from those into tdol. and it’s not published yet, but there’s an unwritten piece from tdol where oc talks about how she doesn’t believe in love but jk very much is a hopeless romantic, and that’s me writing me into a fic so. 

HIGHLIGHTS + WRAP-UP: Favorite opening lines:

(god, i suck at opening lines)

tdol “perfect” + coming back home to you would always be one of the highlights of my day. whenever the sun shined for a little too long, a storm would hit, but this--coming home to and closing the day with you--was one of the few things in life that was completely and utterly mine to have, out of the reaches of whatever was out there that made sure the road was never too smooth. [note: this isn’t THE opening line but we’ll ignore that]

9,719km + paris is much quieter than the places you’re used to, but it’s not a bad thing.

Favorite closing lines: (i struggle so much with these) i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) + the enfilade of rain continues and pelts against the windowpane, against your balcony floor. 

monsters under the bed + but when he opens his eyes again, to the blaring 1:01AM of his clock, you’re no longer by his side. 

9,719km + p.s. did you miss me? + maybe he’s just as potent as a habit, just as hard to kill. 

Favorite lines in general: i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) + you let the words fall from your lips, dribble down your skin like water droplets, and dissipate in the ocean of your feelings. watch them dissolve into the seafoam of your being and sink down, down, down. + it feels a little like that now as you card your fingers through his sweaty locks, dyed red like ariel’s, bright red against the blue of both your feelings. 

love is a losing game (we played anyways) + he looks at you like you hold the secrets of the universe, even as he tears through the valley of your breasts with the claws of his ambitions and devotion. + (the summary line: he builds cathedrals in your name, whispers prayers into your skin, and you shatter the stained glass windows of his dreams.) 

9,719km + nothing has been able to keep him out: not the gallery treasury in newport beach with its earthquake proof alarm system, not the cartier vault in new york city with its impressive randomized laser grid, and certainly not the flimsy, fickle alarm system of your heartbeat. 

LIST OF COMPLETED STORIES: [note: does tdol count? i’ll put it here anyways. also i suck at titles] the dictionary of lovers: heart the dictionary of lovers: confirmation the dictionary of lovers: perfect love is a losing game (we played anyways) monsters under the bed pens and paperwork i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) nine thousand, seven hundred nineteen kilometers you feel like a holiday

WIP TEASERS: welcome to wonderland (we’re all mad here) (aliceinwonderland!au) summary: queen of hearts!jk x alice!reader

excerpt: be careful in the woods, they whisper. so many girls have gotten lost and made it out with just their bodies intact, bones rattling hollow and mind astray. the girls mumble about tea parties with madness, about croquet games with the heads of the executed, before they are wheeled off to hospitals, still talking to the wall. 

be careful in the woods, they warn. it preys on your fear and feeds on your sanity, if you linger too long. 

i know you (i’ve walked with you once upon a dream) (dreamwalkers!au) summary: oc works for the department of dreams: bureau of night terrors as a dreamwalker. jungkook has chronic nightmares.

excerpt: They tell lucid dreamers to look down at their hands, notice the garbled image to recognize they’re in a dream. Your brain backtracks to what it last remembers. A click of the seatbelt, Jimin’s soft “sleep tight,” the cool air inside the tank. Darkness. You grip the wand a little tighter. 

Dreamscapes are weird, you think as you conjure up an ironwood table and a cup of earl grey. The fabric of reality is so thin, so permeable and malleable with the right amount of knowledge. If you think really hard, slip a hand through that curtain, you can still feel the cold air lingering on your skin from the tank. You look down at your watch. 8:44. Eight hours and fourty four minutes left to wander through other people’s nightmares. 

if the world was ending (you’d come over, right?) (au where the world slowly comes to a halt and you find yourself calling your ex. inspired by “if the world was ending” by jp saxe and julia michaels) summary: ex!tae x female!reader

excerpt: The world starts to freeze over when you’re on the bus ride home. 

Pedestrians pause in the middle of the sidewalk; cars decelerate in the middle of accelerations. The chatter in the bus groans to a stop, like a radio after the plug has been pulled, as everyone slowly freezes. Your hair, which once fluttered in the breeze, gently falls back into place. 

The traffic light is red. 

You pull your earbuds out. It’s quiet. Too quiet. 

“Hello?” you whisper, shaking the arm of your neighbor. No response. The silence is loud, almost deafening.

“Hello?” you walk down the aisle to where your driver sits. His face is still. Annoyance clouds his eyes, chest puffed like he was about to take a deep breath. One he’ll never take again. 

You shuffle your feet back and trip on the stairs, back slamming against plexi glass and metal.

The light never turns green. 

untitled (mermaid!au)

excerpt: Jungkook loves the sea, but he thinks he might like you a little bit more. You, with the sea breeze in your hair and summer storm in your eyes. There’s something about the way you sparkle like the ocean top, sun skimming across skin, that makes him think you might be more than human, a trick of light, an optical illusion.

untitled (desert princess x pirate!jk au) summary:  i love you the way ocean clings to shore, the way the horizon wants the sea, but, darling, we were never meant to be

excerpt: you’re pretty sure the ocean is enchanted, bright blue waters glimmering with magic. nothing else could explain how jeon jungkook, notorious pirate and thief, owns eyes that twinkle like the night sky and a face that puts the sunset to shame, unless he managed to somehow steal those too. you wouldn’t put it past him. + they name hurricanes after girls, he tells you. a prayer for gentleness, a hope for small casualties. huh, you reply, whoever came up with that idea must never have been caught in the storm of a girl. 

IN CONCLUSION: 

wow, could i be any more conspicuous about which drabble i like the most? why do i use so many parenthesis? also, i suck at titles and opening and closing lines. but hey, i’m trying, and sometimes that’s all i can ask from myself. i wrote a lot less than i thought but also more than i thought, so cheers to that. maybe next year will be better, maybe it’ll be worse. who knows? hopefully it’ll read easier though.  p.s. if you’ve read this and if you’ve read anything i’ve written, thank you for reading. thank you for sticking through the calamity of my thoughts, through the hurricane of my mind. you have no idea how much it means. i hope i’m able to make your day a little better, a little brighter, a little light in this time of darkness.  p.p.s. i’ve made a few friends on tumblr. i won’t tag them because i don’t want to put them through this awful clusterfuck of words, but if any of you read this, hi. you’ve really shaped my tumblr experience and i’m so glad to have met you all.  noor (papillionsgf): my butterfly, i adore you. you were my first tumblr friend and you’ve been nothing but sweet to me. thank you for talking to me and thank you for our lovely conversations, for letting me squeal about tfua, for  i absolutely adore you.  hana (cutechims): the two of us are awkward potatoes, and i still need to rewatch batman begins, but thank you for always being so sweet, so kind. i love talking with you and reading everything you write. you make me smile when i see you on my dash, with every response you send. jlin (bratkook): i slid into your tumblr dms because you’re so talented and so awfully pretty. i absolutely enjoy our conversations about rich folxs and karens, and i really hope the pandemic comes to an end because i would love to meet you in person and teach you aerial! (also i will bake you lots of cookies) erin (yeojaa): hi lovely. i adore you to the moon and back and to be honest, you still intimidate me because i love your writing so much, but i wanted to say how much i adore you and how i love talking to you. i hope you’re taking care of yourself and staying warm and i hope to get to know you better in 2021!

notes: adapted from lj, where i started writing! i used to see this a bit on lj (or maybe it was the circle of writers i followed) but i figured i’d bring it over here because it’s a good reflection piece and tumblr feels like a good place for that. 

#violet thoughts on the horizon #violet sunsets: a year in review

[purplesurveys]

990

survey by starsareonly2nd

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? No. Doesn’t sound like my type of city. I wouldn’t mind visiting the rest of Nevada though.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Just a cup of coffee; I skip breakfast except on Sundays, when we actually sit down at the dining table and eat as a family.

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets right now but I do have very few coins in my wallet. I used to have plenty, but I’ve given most of them away because I usually give tips to the nice people who help me get out of parking spots.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I like some of her songs, especially the ones from 1989, but I have no idea why I just can’t get into her as a person.

What's your favorite Disney Channel movie? I haven’t tuned in to that channel for a very long time now, but the movies that I got the most excited about as a kid were Twitches, Wendy Wu, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, and High School Musical 1 and 2.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I’d be starstruck in a calm way; like I’d most likely be too shocked to get more than a few words out. I’m sure I’d come off as shy or boring haha, which is why I’ve refused to meet or interact with my favorite celebrities even if I’ve already had the chance to.

Are there any lights on in the room you're in? I have a ceiling light and a desk lamp, but both are turned off. My only light source at the moment is my laptop screen.

What's your favorite subject in school? History.

What's your favorite holiday? My birthday, if that counts. Christmas can also be great but only for the food, the reunions with extended family, and the freedom to guiltlessly cut off contact with colleagues for a couple of weeks. All other aspects of it make me miserable though.

Do you ever have to do yard work? I’ve never had to do that before.

Is your school close to your house? I mean, it wasn’t a 10-minute walk away but it’s relatively close and driving to my university objectively doesn’t take too long unless there’s heavy traffic. If there’s absolutely no barriers I could get to school in 15-20 minutes, but this is really only just for weekends where I have to go to school for some reason. If there’s traffic (and there always is), I take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? I haven’t been to my school since the first week of March, and I’ve already graduated since then.

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? I can honestly tell you that I have genuinely never gotten sick of that song. It’s a late 2000s classic, man. Of course it was too explicit for my 11 year old ears when it first came out, but I found it catchy nonetheless.

Do you use perfect grammar online? I always try to be correct, yes. When I use improper grammar it’s usually because I’m joking.

Are you currently using a laptop? Yup.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I haven’t used iTunes in a while and Spotify, which I do use, doesn’t work that way.

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I’ve never skipped her singles whenever I caught them on the radio and I’ve always fairly enjoyed the music she puts out, but I normally don’t voluntarily listen to her i.e. look up her songs myself on Spotify.

Is it a windy day? It is now that it’s nighttime, but it was a little humid all day today.

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? No. I’m not actually sure if that’s even already allowed...the possibility of public transport is still pretty murky where I live.

What shorthand do you use the most? I have no idea what this means. I did try looking it up but I dunno if I’ve ever had to use shorthand at any point in my life.

Do you ever wish on stars at night? Every now and then, but it’s just the little kid in me.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown. I feel like I answer this at least once a week.

What album is the current song you're listening to off of? Not listening to music but the last song I heard is from an album called Petals For Armor.

What are you doing after you finish this? Try not to cry/break down. Find something to watch on YouTube. Maybe play with Cooper to destress and forget about my problems for a bit.

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? Other than songs I occasionally put on repeat, I have not heard any new music for a while now.

Are you in a band? Nope, never been.

How clean is your bedroom? We just tidied it up and rearranged a few things last month so I’d say it’s clean - at least tidier than it used to be. And I’m a little proud that despite how rough life has been, I’ve managed to keep it clean. It’s the little things.

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Yeah, there’s one on my desk and I can easily reach out and grab it.

Are you sitting at a desk? I’ve moved to my bed for now. My back does not appreciate sitting at a desk all day.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female.

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Yesssssssss. We have a light source by the stairs that extends to the hallway and reaches my room, so it gets super annoying if my door is even just slightly ajar because my eyes get distracted by the faint light. My door has to be completely shut for me to feel comfortable in the privacy of my room.

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? I haven’t. I loooove Lady Marmalade, but I’m just not sure if the movie itself is my cup of tea.

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? I’d love to have the chance to do that, yeah.

Are there any framed pictures in the room you're in? There are a couple.

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Nope.

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? I don’t think so but I do remember watching a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars because a wrestler that I liked was one of the contestants for one season. I’m just not sure of SYTYCD also featured wrestlers in their shows; if that has been the case in the past- and I’m just not sure because my memory is a little hazy - I would’ve given it a watch.

What's your favorite movie soundtrack? The Twilight Saga churned out some bomb ass soundtracks. Other than that, I also enjoyed Interstellar’s and Requiem for a Dream’s.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Depends on what kind of work needs to be done. If a task is graphic design or video editing-heavy, I would prefer to work with other people; but if it’s gonna be heavy on something that’s already my forte, I like to work by myself.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? Just my car.

Are you wearing anything with stripes? Not at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night? 9:45 I think? A little later than 10? Somewhere along that range.

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No.

What show did you last watch? Friends.

Do you think you'll do anymore surveys today? I doubt it. This one is already quite longer than the surveys I usually take.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream; and more recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? Sometime in February last year. I developed a fever the night before but wasn’t able to start feeling better by the next morning, so I had to skip the one class I had that day.

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Yes. I’m actually planning to buy a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle; it’s one of the items I’ve put on my cart recently. Depressed Robyn is also spend-a-lot-of-money-on-artsy-craftsy-supplies-Robyn, so.

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? Hell no.

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? Not usually, but sometimes I’ll put on lo-fi since that’s the only kind of music I can listen to and still keep my focus.

Did you think Adam Lambert's AMA performance was really that controversial? I’ve never encountered it, but I doubt I’ll have a problem with it if I do get to watch the performance. I love Adam Lambert and I've never found myself shaking my head at whatever he’s doing.

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? They’re a boy band more than anything but The Vamps has consistently irritated me through the years.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? No. I used to, but I gave it to my sister.

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? I don’t think so. With all my social media being deactivated I never get notified about birthdays anymore, but I’m fairly sure none of my friends blow out their candles every October 22nd.

When was the last time you rode in a limo? I’ve never been in one.

Do you take naps daily? No. I can’t really do that anymore since I have an 8-hour shift on weekdays, lol.

Do you still make Christmas lists? No.

Do you watch the show Dexter? I tried getting into the show because it used to always be said in the same breath as Breaking Bad, but I never got invested. I heard later seasons sucked too, so that also turned me off from continuing to pursue the series.

What's the background on your phone? I have a motivational comic that says “You’re doing really well given the circumstances” as my lockscreen. Cooper smiling is my home screen.

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? That was six years ago.

Are you scared of any animals? Any flying insect or bug, and I find them scarier if they come with a loud buzz.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? YouTube Fanfest, if that counts as one. I’m not really sure what counts as a convention haha, but that’s the closest thing I’ve got.

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? I’ve stopped thinking about that for now. My focus has since shifted to asking myself if I’ll still even be alive in a few years...ugh, how far we’ve fallen.

Are you currently using a blanket? No. It’s not cold enough for a blanket yet, but maybe in a few hours.

Are there any songs that make you cry? A lot.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

What are you doing this weekend? I have no idea.

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? BEEEEEEEEACH. Once I took my first dip in a beach, I never wanted to swim in a pool ever again.

When was the last time you had a haircut? March.

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano, saxophone, and violin. Can’t pick a favorite; I think they all sound beautiful.

Are you in band or chorus at your school? I was never in either.

Do you know what you want for Christmas? Yeah but they’re all intangible. I want to be happy, be at peace, normalcy, etc. I’ve stopped pining for presents, especially now that I can afford my own shit.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year's Eve? Always.

Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope. You’ll have to add three more months to that timeframe.

How long is the song you're listening to? No music.

Are you anticipating anything this week? I’m waiting for a couple of very specific emails to come in, and I hope they do before the week ends.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad, but only by 8 months. They were born in the same year.

Have you taken the SATs yet? I never had to take them, but I heard they’re triiiiiiiicky.

Do you watch anything on E? We never had E! in our cable service but I like tuning into that channel whenever we stay at hotels because I get to watch KUWTK, hehe.

Are you going to get off the computer now that you've finished this? Most likely.

#survey #surveys

[shawnpetermuffins]

Just Let Me Do This (Dad!shawn)

Request by @jaysgotabadrep: 'Dad!Shawn spending the night reading to his sick daughter and refusing to let Y/n take over. He’d be so protective and possessive and cute'

A/n: hope you don't mind, but I changed it a little bit.

Warning: this is so soft, and if you look hard, it's also a little angsty because that just what I do apparently

***

When Shawn saw his six-year-old's puffy red nose and watery eyes, his heart broke. She'd been getting sick all week, y/n had told him one night as they were getting into bed.

"She threw up when she got home from school," she said, pulling more sheets for her side.

He deflated, "Why didn't you call me?"

"You were working," She answered with a shrug. When he didn't say anything, y/n looked up at her defeated husband. "Hey," she said walking around the bed to take hold of him. "Its okay. She just has a fever, and it's gone down a little bit. She's okay, Shawn."

But that was two days ago. And he'd stayed home with her all day today, attending to her every need, rarely ever leaving her side. He never gets to take care of his baby girl, what with all the late nights and the tours. He's missed out on so much that he needs to be here for her now.

But now Madi can hardly keep any food down and is only drinking water or Apple juice- Orange juice being too acidic for her. She's still running fever, so to sweat it out, Shawn has her wrapped up in multiple blankets.

"Dad, it's hot!" She complained, even though he had her fan on high and her bedroom window was open just enough to let in the crisp. Cool air of late October.

"I know it is, sweetie, but we have to get that fever down."

She's crying again, and hates seeing her this way. "I don't feel good!" She whines loudly, curling into her father's chest.

Shawn exhaled deeply, desperate to switch her positions, anything to not see his little girl in this pain. "It's okay, baby. Daddy's gonna make it all better." He ran his hands through her matted hair, and kissed her still warm forehead. "You want me to sing to you to make it better?"

She nodded.

"What song?"

"Imagination," she murmured into his neck.

Shawn smiled softly. It's amazing to him how a song can go from being his least favorite to his most. For no other reason than the fact that's it's his daughter's favorite. "Oh, there she goes again / every morning is the same / you walk on by my house / I wanna call out your name / I wanna tell you how beautiful you are from where I'm standing / you got me thinking what we could be 'cause... I keep craving, craving you / don't know it but it's true / can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you."

"This is tpyi-al of love / can't wait anymore / won't wait / I need to tell you how I feel when I see us together / forever." She continued for him, head still buried deep in the crook of his neck.

"In my dreams / you're with me / we'll be everything I want us to be / and from there / who knows / maybe this will be the night that we kiss, for the first time / or is that just me in my imagination?"

She sang back and forth with him until the song was over and he sang another song until she fell asleep. It was only when she'd been asleep for half an hour that Shawn got out of her cramped bed and stretched out his sore muscles. He took her luke-warm apple juice that was only a quarter of the way full, and the soup that she hadn't eaten to the kitchen.

His phone buzzed in the pocket of his sweats and he pulled it out, seeing a message from his wife.

My Love 😍

How's my baby?

He smirks and types back a quick response.

I'm fine. But shouldn't you be worried more about our daughter?

It doesn't take another minute before y/n's face shows up on his screen, requesting a FaceTime.

"Well hi there, pretty lady." He greeted.

She just rolled her eyes. "Is Madi doing okay?"

"She's asleep. Still has a little fever, but I have her wrapped up, trying to sweat it out of her. But she can't keep anything down." Shawn rested his elbows on the counter and sighed.

"Can she drink anything? Has she?"

"Yeah, she drank some juice. And I had her drink a cup of water when she woke up. But other than that, she hasn't had much. Did you give her medicine? What going on with her? Upset stomach? Is it just a fever? Has she thrown up? Should I come home early?"

"Love, calm down." He said with a chuckle, "she's okay. I gave her medicine this morning, just like you told me to. There's no need to come home early. She hasn't thrown up. I'm taking care of her." He answered with a deep sigh. "She's my daughter, too, you know? I can take care of her."

Y/n deflated, "I didn't mean to imply that you couldn't. I know you can. I just, I've never left her alone while she's sick. What if she needs me?"

"Then we'll call," he said with a gentle nod. "But I have to go. I need to disinfect the house before you get home. Don't want you getting sick, too."

She exhaled softly. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"I know. I love you too. I'll see you and Sky when you get home."

---

He's back in bed with his little girl, getting ready to read her a bedtime story when his wife comes into view. She leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, staring at Shawn and their sick daughter huddled together in her tiny bed.

"Hi love. Everything okay?"

She nods, "Sky's asleep. Just put him down. I can tale over from here if you want."

He swiftly shakes his head, "No. I got her. I'll be in bed in a little while, okay? You go ahead."

"I really don't mind taking over," y/n insisted.

"Y/n, please. I've got it," he said, pulling Madi closer to his side.

It took two and a half stories to get her eyes to close, and Shawn's followed shortly after. He's not even sure what time it is when he's being shaken awake. But his eyes bolt open and he meets his wife's tired ones.

"Come to bed, baby. She's asleep. She's okay."

He simply nods, still too asleep to respond verbally.

"Thanks for watching her today. I know Andrew probably had something scheduled for today."

Shawn just shrugs, "I don't care. My family comes first, he knows that." He cleared his throat, "and I wish you wouldn't say it like that."

"Say what?" Y/n pulls the comforter from under her pillow.

"'Thanks for watching her.' It's my job. I'm her father. I'm not a babysitter. I mean, I know I'm not here all the time, but I still helped create that human being. Those two human beings. And I'm going to be there when they need me. I'm not doing it just to help you out. I'm doing it because it's not just your responsibility. It's mine too and I take pride in that." He shakes his head, "I never get to do this because I'm always gone. But I'm here this time and I want to help in every possible way that I can."

Y/n nods, crawling onto the bed and over to his side. She takes hold of his hands. "I'm sorry. I am. I really don't mean for it to come out the way it does. I'm glad you like taking care of our daughter when she's sick. I'm glad you're here because I couldn't do this without you." Her hands found his face and she frowned.

"What?" He asked, confusion masking his expression.

"You're warm. You feel okay?" She asked, placing the back of her hand to his forehead.

"I feel fine," he said honestly.

But she just shook her head, "I think you might be staying home another day, honey. You've got a fever."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @bbellbagel @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn peter raul #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #smfsource

[parkkjiminssi]

Each and every time you thought about last night’s date with Taehyung, a huge smile appeared on your face and your cheeks turned pink. So much that your teacher thought you had a fever and ended up sending you to the infirmary.

“No fever.” Nurse Kang said as she looked at the thermometer. “You’re fine, Y/N but I’m afraid it’s a bit pointless for me to send you to class when there’s only five minutes till lunch time.”

You slightly nodded before bending down to tie your sneakers. Then what was she going to do with you?

“Here.” The nurse said, handing you a paper. “You get your lunch early and wait for your friends. Get a nice table, I know how hard it gets to find space once the cafeteria gets crowded.”

“Wow, thank you so much!” You exclaimed as you took the paper, which turned out to be a hall pass.

As you pushed the cafeteria doors open, you were greeted by the emptiness and silence of the room. Two months in this school and this was the first time you had ever seen the cafeteria this empty. You greeted the lunch ladies as you grabbed your food and immediately headed for the table where you and your friends always sat.

Students started walking into the room and the peace was gone just like that. You played with your food, debating whether or not to start eating. Kay and the rest wouldn’t mind if you did, right?

“Wow, I honestly didn’t expect to run into you so soon.”

That voice.

The moment you heard that voice, you completely froze. No, it couldn’t be. There’s not way she’d be here.

“Really, Y/N? Now you’re going to pretend like you don’t know me?”

No. There was no mistake. It definitely was her. The person who had made your life a living hell all these years. With much regret, you turned around slowly and looked up to face the girl that was standing right behind you.

“J-Jiyeon... what are you doing here?” You tried your best to keep your voice steady but it was useless.

“My daddy transferred to this city.” She said as she walked over and took a seat across from you. “I have to thank you, though. After you left, everyone started pointing fingers at me. Saying that I was bully and that I made you move schools because the teasing was so bad. Ha, as if they didn’t take any part in it.”

You winced. Seeing her here brought the memories rushing back. You almost had forgotten about all of that. Almost.

You watched her every move in horror. You just couldn’t believe she was here. Was this some sort of sick joke or were you dreaming? That must be it! You were having a horrible nightmare. You pinched yourself many, many times. Unfortunately, the pain shooting through your leg confirmed that you weren’t asleep.

“After the students started talking, the school board had a meeting and decided to expel me.”

Although it had only been a couple of months, Jiyeon’s face had changed. She looked tired, like she hadn’t been sleeping properly. Not only that but it also seemed like she had lost weight. Was this whole thing taking a toll on her? It almost made you feel sorry for her. Almost.

“Y/N, I see that you’ve been playing friends also. Do they do know about your little secret?” Jiyeon asked as she put a spoonful of rice in her mouth. Your eyes grew in surprise. Had she been observing you all this time? No. You definitely would’ve noticed her.

“I’ve been in this school since the beginning of October. You just never noticed because you were too busy pretending to be normal and popular, when you’re anything but that.” Jiyeon said as she stuffed another spoon in her mouth. “No, actually I’m curious. How did you manage to pull that off? Were you actually always popular material?”

“Why this school, Jiyeon?” You finally managed to mutter out.

“Good question, Y/N.” She replied with a chuckle. “As soon as my daddy found out that I had been expelled because of you, he used his contacts to find out where you had moved. He wants me to take revenge for what you’ve done to me and my family. He’s so nice, looking out for me. But I mean, what would you know? Your dad chose to die than to stay with his family but I think if I had a daughter like you, I would much rather die too.”

“Don’t talk about my dad, Jiyeon!” You snapped, your hand banging against the top of the table. “You can say and do whatever the hell you want to me, but leave my dad out of this. My dad is a hero for what he did!”

Jiyeon looked up from her food unamused. “So much for being a hero. Now he’s ten feet underground and no one remembers him for what he did.”

At that moment, Taehyung ran through the cafeteria doors. He felt so guilty. Did you get sick because of him? Because you guys were out till pretty late and he had no sweater to cover you with? Was it perhaps the milkshakes? He knew he should’ve ordered hot coffee instead. Taehyung could already hear Jimin’s teasing.

He scanned the room for you and when he found you talking with another girl, he felt a little happy inside. Ever since you had started school here, your only friends seemed to be him and the rest of the guys. Not that he minded it, but seeing that you were becoming friendlier showed that you were finally feeling comfortable here. Taehyung started walking slowly over to where you were, not really wanting to interrupt but he really needed to know if it was his fault that you were sick.

“At least my dad did do something! What does your dad do?” You were tired. Jiyeon knew your secret and she could easily tell your friends all about it but at this point you weren’t thinking anymore. “He hides behind a desk and pretends to care about you when in reality he only cares about him and his image. I’m—“

Before you could finish talking, Jiyeon threw her plate of food on top of you. The rice, noddles, salad, everything.

“Shut up! Who do you think you are, Y/N? Know your fucking place.” She said as she grabbed her cup of water. “You think you’re big shit because you’re somehow someone here? That’s going to change and I’m going to make sure of it. Don’t think you can hide behind those people that you call friends. As soon as they know who you truly are, they’ll forget about you. You’re nothing without them.”

Jiyeon raised her arm to throw her water at you. You braced yourself for it but nothing came. When you opened your eyes, you saw Taehyung standing next to you and he was holding on to Jiyeon’s arm. He had stopped her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Taehyung asked. You could tell that he was mad by the tone of his voice.

Jiyeon should’ve just stepped back. Called it quits and retreated to wherever the hell she should be. Instead, she decided to take this as an opportunity to inflict more damage.

With a smirk, Jiyeon yanked her arm from Taehyung’s hold and placed the cup on a table and as she walked away she said something. Something that only you were able to hear and left your blood boiling.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Taehyung asked with concern. “Maybe we can go ask Kay if she has extra clothes.”

“Taehyung, just stop!”

No, what am I saying?

“This is none of your business! I don’t know why you had to butt in.”

That’s not true. I’m so glad you did that.

“Taehyung, leave me alone.”

Taehyung, I’m sorry.

Your words had taken Taehyung by surprise. He didn’t know what to say or do. He didn’t mean to make you feel like this.

“A-ah, I see. I’m sorry, Y/N. I won’t bother you again.”

What have you done? He was only trying to help and you attacked him. This wasn’t his fault. You couldn’t bear to see his hurt face, so you ran. You ran away from the cafeteria and away from Taehyung. Maybe things would’ve been better if you had remained an outcast.

“I’ll go get her.” Kay said before taking off after you.

Taehyung turned around surprised. He hadn’t noticed when the rest of your friends had gotten there.

Jimin put his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, trying to provide some comfort.

“I guess there won’t be a second date.” Taehyung said with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry man.” Was all Jimin could say. “We saw everything.”

“Give me a background check on that bitch, Namjoon.”

Everyone turned around skeptical. They couldn’t believe the words that had come out of Avery’s mouth.

“W-what?” Was all Namjoon could say.

“Sir, yes sir!” Responded Lynn.

“You’re not even in the student council.” Yoongi replied with a roll of his eyes.

“I don’t need to be in the student council to check on someone.”

Yoongi shuddered. “Okay, I’ve never been more afraid of you. Look, I even got goosebumps.”

Outcast

Kim Taehyung x Reader | social media au

Part 7: Almost

In a world where superpowers exist, you would think that there’s no such thing as being different. Y/N, however, was branded with that tittle early in her childhood days after almost destroying her school and hurting her classmates. In attempts of escaping her past, Y/N attends to a high school that’s in a neighboring city. What will happen when Y/N meets the Elite Nine? What will happen when Y/N meets a boy named Kim Taehyung?

tag list: @astronomyturtle, @namiiy, @momdancingtomcr, @perseephony, @moonfairyjoon, @vstellarkth

a/n: I’m so sorry it took me this long to get this update long. I just had a shitty weekend 🥺 thank you for your patience and love. like always, links are on my bio.

#kim taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts #bts suga #bts v #bts jin #bts jhope #bts rm #kim taehyung x you #taehyung x you #boyfriend taehyung #Outcast #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung imagines #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagine #taehyung social media au #taehyung fanfic #bts taehyung #kim taehyung fake texts #bts x reader #bts social media au #bts fake chat

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Mad as a Hatter

“Why don’t you go do something useful like… Oh, go jump in the river.”

Episode: 27 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Frank Paur Animator: Akom Airdate: October 12, 1992 Grade: B

I was in high school when Tim Burton’s version of Alice in Wonderland showed up in theaters, and like almost everyone I knew, I could not have been more excited. I really loved the Disney version, and considering that the man involved with Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Batman, and more would be giving us his take on it right as I was starting to move toward my emo-scene phase, it was a dream come true. Even now, on paper, this seems like the perfect recipe, doesn’t it? But I think most of us can agree that it just didn’t meet expectations. The first time I watched it, I wouldn’t admit to myself that I wasn’t a fan. It was dark, and strange, and Tim Burton + Alice in Wonderland. Everything I wanted! As a developing emo kid, I was supposed to like it! The reason I bring this up is because Batman the Animated Series being fused with Alice in Wonderland seems like another fantasy-combination that would have no way to turn out subpar. Mad as a Hatter is an episode that, for the most part, actually gets a lot of praise. Alas (or, for the sake of the pun, Alice), maybe the idea seemed a little bit too easy, making it easier to over-shoot, missing the mark. This is another episode featuring a crazy set-piece at the end, but it is also another episode that was handed to Akom. Christ, why. Of all the episodes. All the episodes. Why is it some of the ones with the highest reliance on visuals? This episode involved not just complicated, creative visuals, but incredibly weird ones as well that needed to be animated just right to not look like subjects from one’s fever dreams. You wanna know how that turned out? Well, I heard an, “Oh my god!” from Char as the walrus and the carpenter made their appearances. While that did make me laugh quite hard, and Akom definitely got the weirdness down, it should have looked like intentional weirdness. Beyond the animation, the story is actually decent. It is Paul Dini, so what can you really expect. But even here, I would not call it A-level material. Some strange dialogue/delivery choices, and other leaps of logic/strains on the suspension of disbelief take away from it and leave me feeling extremely neutral.

Okay, so after that paragraph above was written, I went and took the screenshots from my DVD. I was surprised. The DVD looks so much better than the Blu Ray here. This was the case with The Clock King too, and I fear it is starting to seem like a pattern. I think it all comes down to the Blu Ray release looking too clean, and way too bright at times. Because of course, the DVD is in lower definition. Shadows are lightened so that we can see all of the imperfections of Akom’s drawings. Smudges and dirt are removed, giving the people a plastic look at times. It’s not the way the show was meant to be watched (as I said, probably VHS would be my preferred way of viewing if that were feasible). This puts me in an interesting spot, because I paid near $100 for the set, and also, some episodes look absolutely phenomenal. But is it worth it when some look like absolute crap? The great-looking shows look godly. The mediocre-looking ones look horrible. I was ready to tear into how Mad as a Hatter looked and rip it a new one, but now I do not think that would be fair. No, the animation here isn’t perfect. But it’s passable. And I think that’s worth something given the frequency at which I complain about Akom. At this point, I have watched up to Robin’s Reckoning. From here, I honestly might start using the ol’ dvd’s again. It’s unfortunate, but if I go back to specific episodes that I love later on, then I’ll use the Blu Ray. Remember, I am watching these with Char who has never seen the DCAU before. I want the series to make the best possible impression, and even with the best plot ever, a bad-looking episode can make a disappointing episode. Merely getting the episodes at a higher definition, but leaving them dirty and dark would have been my preferred solution. Anyway, back to talking about the episode itself (and yes, this does slightly affect how I see the episode. At first I was giving it a C. But I think I’ll have to bump it up to B territory).

We start with episode with some cute-ass mice, only to then be introduced to a face that a mother would have a hard time loving. Jervis Tetch, aka The Mad Hatter, is a character-design, alright. I think I know what they were going for, though. He has this kooky look that makes him stand out from every other character. He certainly looks like he could play someone from Wonderland. But the problem I think comes from Akom (ironic given that last paragraph, huh?). This design could probably work, but he has such an odd model, so I think they had a tough time animating him. Or maybe he simply does not translate to movement very well in general, and there was a problem the moment his model sheet was created. Regardless, he can be pretty tough to look at sometimes. Other times, though, he does have that level of whacky which I would hope would be in an episode based on Alice in Wonderland. But we see that Jervis is working on some mind-control technology while also being smitten for a girl that works in his office named Alice. Unfortunately, Alice has a boyfriend, and like many sociopaths in real life, Jervis is not okay with this, taking matters into his own hands. First of all, her name being Alice is kinda stupid, and Char agrees. It takes parallels a little bit too far, and Char noted that it would have been more subtle if her name were something like Alycia. Alice is one of the only people that Jervis feels is nice to him, so if we follow the most sound of incel-logic, she owes him her heart, mind, and body. Not only is she nice to him, but, again, her name is Alice. And it would not surprise me if this were a main factor of why Jervis is into her. He has an Alice in Wonderland poster in his office, he takes her to a theme park of sorts that has a section which is themed after the book, he owns a Mad Hatter costume (or perhaps he obtained this from the park), he quotes the book regularly, etc. He is clearly obsessed. When we reach the point where he mentions that it is one of his favorite stories, it’s like, “Wow! No kidding!” He is not quite wired into reality, likely developing this obsession at an early age to escape from life’s burdens. But Wonderland has burdens of its own.

Jervis ends up using these mind-control cards that he created (another Alice in Wonderland-related thing) to make people basically do his bidding. He first uses them on two thugs attempting to rob him and Alice, forcing them to climb up on top of a bridge and jump into the river. Batman catches notice of this through a police broadcast, and to my surprise, the show mentions a possible suicide in progress. How often do you hear a family cartoon like this use the word “suicide”? I think this is the only time I have ever heard it, despite references occasionally popping up in shows like Spongebob. He then uses more cards on his coworkers, Alice’s fiancé, and Alice herself, creating an army of Alice in Wonderland-themed warriors to defend him from Batman when Batman finds out what’s going on and sets after him. He wants Alice all to himself, and is willing to do whatever possible to obtain her. The final battle takes place in the theme park, the big set-piece of the episode. It’s got some great looking background paintings that 100% capture the tone of the book. It is a shame that the animation done by Akom couldn’t hold up to Radomski’s work. We have moments such as Batman balancing on top of the walls of a playing card maze that I wish stressed me out a little bit more. But because of how stilted the movement is, Batman never really seems like he is having a tough time keeping balance, even though we clearly see him struggling. The fight scenes could also be much better, with more impact felt. The odd costumes that most everyone is wearing makes for some really distorted-looking characters, and it’s clear that not a lot of time was spent making them look quite right. At the same time, though, between the subject material, the gimmicks, the overall surreal nature, and the background art, it is still a lot of fun to watch, even if it is in a more campy way. It is not an episode to be taken extremely seriously. This can be a problem with Batman. The tone can fluctuate greatly from episode to episode. At the beginning, it did not matter as much. Right away we had varying quality and seriousness. I mean, we went from On Leather Wings to Christmas With the Joker. But now we are getting gothic masterpieces like Two-Face, so episodes like Mad as a Hatter feel jarring as hell. It is an episode I enjoyed more on second watch as I gathered screenshots. I loosened up and let myself have fun with it.

The Mad Hatter fails to be a sympathetic villain like I feel they might have been going for, but I do enjoy him being so delusional and sociopathic. When Alice mentions her boyfriend, he gets this scary scowl, and you know at that moment that this is no character you want to root for. When Alice’s boyfriend temporarily breaks up with her, rather than attempting to comfort her and being upset over her sorrow, he jumps for joy because he has a chance to finally swoop in (the epitome of an Internet “nice guy”). When she gets back together with her boyfriend, turned fiancé, he squeezes a bouquet of roses in frustration so hard that he bleeds. I think they were able to get away with this portion because maybe the blood could have passed off as liquid from the flowers? Which doesn’t really make a lot of sense, but for the sake of the blood being included, um, sure. It was definitely rose-goo, guys. Not blood at all… And he also blames Batman for why things ended up the way they did, even though Batman had virtually nothing to do with anything until the very end. He decided to mind-control everyone because he was being a spoiled little piss-baby who could not let the girl he supposedly loves be happy. Char did not care for the character, and jokingly mentioned that he was appropriating the Mad Hatter, doing things that he would never do. Like some batshit crazy super-fan who feels sooo connected with a character, but actually doesn’t understand them at all.

Not a perfect episode, but a grower.

See? Cute-ass mice!

Wow, I didn’t realize that we were watching Attack on Titan. (Joke inspired by Char).

The poster on the wall matches the title card/an actual illustration from the book. It’s actually a pretty dope poster.

A variety of shots showing Jervis’ face. See how inconsistent it is? It is a little similar to the Pokémon Drilbur, where it only works 2D. Adding an element of 3D illusion (such as movement) causes it to fall apart.

Oh, sure, go and rob them right after you see Batman drive by. That’s always smart.

“Please, Mr. Hat. Go easy on us.” The delivery here was wicked funny. It was so monotone, and sounded like he was faking.

I quite like this facial expression. His smile reminds me of the Cheshire Cat.

Batman + Taco Bell

I love the panic in Batman’s voice as he tries to stop them from jumping off of the bridge. It shows how concerned he is with keeping them safe.

They were able to animate this shimmer pretty damn well. Then again, how hard could it be?

A very subtle recreation of the illustration/title card.

I don’t think the background here quite comes together, the composition is off. Still neat to look at.

A close-up of the illustration.

Now this is an ugly facial expression. Gross! And it’s not like this was a quick frame. It was there long enough to notice.

This shot has a lovely glow to it. It looks quite nice. 

One of the only times they were able to get away with blood. Um. Oops. I meant flower-goo! It’s flower-goo, guys! The blood drips right onto Billy’s face. As if a hit were put on him. Awesome detail.

“Oh, do be quiet!”

Bruce whispers “Congratulations.” in such a goobery way. I love it. 

The shadow of the plants shifted in some wonky-looking ways. Also, when the Mad Hatter and Batman both arrive on the scene, she says, “This is getting too weird.” But she says it so nonchalantly. Not the best delivery.

Very sloppy-looking drawings of their faces. These costumes, though. 

Cool impact here. He just decimates that wood. I’m not sure if Storybook Land has the safest costumes. 

This is some enjoyable stuff right here. I had a lot of fun with this portion.

“Off with his head!” I should have counted how many times this line was said.

Perfect example if how cool the painted visuals are paired with some mediocre animation. Hell, I’m pretty sure Batman’s run was recycled for two of these stills.

Gee, I wonder which cards are going to move. Great Mad Hatter, pose, though. This is what I wish he looked like all the time!

The looming Jabberwock ends up falling on him, ending the adventure through Wonderland. 

There’s no reversing the damage, Jervis. You’ll never talk with her again. Was it worth it? Also, his hair totally changed color at one point. Um... Maybe he dyed it?

Char’s grade: D Next time: Dreams in Darkness

Full episode list here!

#dcau #dc animated universe #mad as a hatter #batman #batman tas #batman the animated series #btas #mad hatter #alice #alice in wonderland

[fromtheringapron]

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2017

Date: October 22, 2017.

Location: Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Attendance: 13,381

Commentary: Michael Cole, Booker T, and Corey Graves.

Results:

Kickoff Match: Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox.

1. Asuka defeated Emma.

2. Rich Swan and Cedric Alexander defeated Jack Gallagher and The Brian Kendrick. 

3. WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match: Alexa Bliss (champion) defeated Mickie James. 

4. WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match: Enzo Amore defeated Kalisto (champion) to win the title. 

5. Finn Balor defeated AJ Styles. 

6. Jason Jordan defeated Elias. 

7. 5-on-3 Handicap Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match: Kurt Angle and The Shield (Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose) defeated Kane, The Miz, Braun Strowman, and The Bar (Cesaro & Sheamus). 

Analysis

It’s a miracle TLC 2017 is such a weirdly entertaining show, especially when all signs were pointing to it easily turning into a disaster. With both Roman Regins and Bray Wyatt bowing out of two marquee matches due to health issues right before showtime, WWE really found themselves in a bind to put out a product that’d still leave fans satisfied. They’ve certainly had plenty of moments where they’ve reacted to last-minute changes poorly but, every so often, it all works out to their benefit and let this show be a shining example.

Reigns exiting stage right from the main event means we see the in-ring return of Kurt Angle in his first WWE match in 11 years, which the shows feels the need to remind us ad nauseam. Watching Angle compete in a WWE ring would’ve been unthinkable even just a few years prior, so it’s surreal just seeing him back in the flesh given belly-to-belly suplexes and ankle locks. But if that’s not enough, we’re treated to him wearing Shield gear, looking like your uncle at a Halloween party. And the main event is hella absurd enough without Angle, but I mean that in a good way. I honestly can’t remember what lead to it being a handicap match to begin with, but I don’t think that match would’ve been as delightfully bonkers without all the additional bodies. The whole thing completely ignores proper match structure and goes right for any ridiculous spot it can imagine. Oh, and the match feels the need to add a garbage truck because why the fuck not.

Meanwhile, Wyatt’s absence leads to him being to replaced by AJ Styles in his match against Finn Balor which, like, Angle’s return, is something that would’ve been unthinkable just a few years prior. It’s definitely the right decision, as both men have incredibly devoted fan bases that lend themselves perfectly to the match. I’d harp more on the crowd chanting “This is awesome!” before the match even starts, but it does turn out to be awesome anyway so whatever. Plus, it pretty much mercy kills the Bray-Balor feud, which should’ve ended at SummerSlam but somehow lingered on into the fall to give us highlights like Bray dumping a bucket of strawberry jam on Balor.

The undercard does gives us a good glimpse into both the status of the women’s and cruiserweight division. I’d completely forgotten the cruiserweights were still even being featured on Raw at this point, although the division is about the take a hard hit in the upcoming months that would see it relegated to pre-show purgatory and irrelevance, an exile continuing to this day. The women’s division continues to show signs of growth since Women’s Revolution began over two years prior. There are still areas that need improvement though, as this show sees them in throes of the Alexa Bliss mega push. It’s not unwarranted to push Alexa as one of the division’s top stars. She’s certainly got the charisma to hold her own, but it becomes a problem when they throw everyone else under a bus in the process. We’re in the midst of a storyline here where she bullies Mickie James due to her age and she pretty much gets away with it. Be a star, WWE.

So, yeah, for or all the worries that TLC 2017 would suck, it’s an okay way to spend three hours overall. It’s doesn’t feature many high stakes or long-term significance, but a B-show doesn’t necessarily need to be that way to be good. Sometimes, when your back is against the wall, you just gotta go all out. WWE does that here and the result is a show that’s about as successful as it could’ve been.

My Random Notes

This shows sees the final WWE appearance of Emma. It’s clear they don’t know what to do with her at this point. I mean, what the hell is up with her entrance music? It’s like they threw everything but a shoehorn in there and the “Ya” makes her sound like Billy Graham doing that horrible kung fu gimmick.

Ah, yes, and this show also sees Enzo Amore in his final weeks on the WWE roster before becoming the walking punchline/wannabe rapper/alleged rapist/human garbage we know him as today. I do like the direction they were heading with the cruiserweight division. I just wish they casted someone else as the prick scumbag heel other than the man who has since given us the term “consensual penis.”

*Some fan is shown waving a “Kalisto Killed Harambe” sign, which I hate on principle because Harambe is a meme that should’ve been left in 2016 and one that’s often shared by unfunny people.

Lost amidst a weird ass show is the weird ass storyline where Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son and he’s throwing produce at Elias in a recurring segment throughout the show for, um, reasons. I think they were on the verge of making it work when they were turning Jordan heel in early 2018, but Jordan’s career is pretty much over now due to injury, so the entire storyline feels like this one long fever dream instead.

Because it needs to be said, The Miz’s hair is the dirt worst here. He really shouldn’t be following my Dwight Frye comparison but here we are. At least he’s had the good sense to cut it since. He’s quite the handsome chap now.

The camera in the early going of the main event cuts to Kane sitting up at ringside. It’s meant to be menacing but it just makes Kane look bored and depressed, as if there were any other way to sum up Glen Jacob’s wrestling career at this point.

I do like the idea of The Demon as a special attraction as you know people would complain about how stale it’d get if Balor did it every damn week. I just wish there were more of an explanation as to why he breaks out in Demon drag only every once in awhile.

It’s October here so that means we’re unfortunately treated to WWE’s annual pink-washing and shilling of Susan G. Komen. What’s worse is that they’re using the Ultimate Warrior’s name promote it this time which, on top of making no fucking sense, is pretty gross because they’re ignoring the fact that Warrior was definitely not a humanitarian. Can’t we just have pink ropes year-round without all of this problematic bullshit?

#wwe #wwe raw #wwe tlc #roman reigns

[wearebadcode]

‘What lies ahead’

An Apocalypse!AU one-shot inspired by Frank Turner’s ‘Brave face’ and ‘21st century survival blues’ songs. I might expand it at some point -prequel(s) inclusive 😊 Hope you like it!

Oh. If you wanna expand this into a vivid whole experience, you might wanna go to @icarli profile to check this AU aesthetic. It’s awesome!

Autumn had already set in. The always colorful Atlanta was now painted in a bright yellow, orange, red and brown chromatic color scheme. The fall sunlight reflected over the bright woody colors, filling the air with some kind of orange, red sky lights. Soaking in Atlanta's fall colors by walking through the streets of the wooded city was quite an experience. Streets were flooded with trees leaves and roads got foggy as temperature plummeted.

But it was on that autumn when the spooky atmosphere vibe was spookier than ever. The spookiest Chloe remembered since the outbreak.

The city, the state, and supposedly the whole country -maybe the whole world by now- collapsed to their core when this weird and contagious epidemic virus began spreading. The virus was lethal and its consequences, ruthless and savage. Fever, followed by delirium, was the first symptom for the virus to appear. Then and once the blood and internal tissue got infected, the quick and aggressive degradation process of the body began. Rotting was what awaited the bodies in the virus' final stage. Dead tissue. Body decomposition. Death. But a living one, quite paradoxically -which was even worse than death itself.

The first corpse Chloe ever saw was a year and a half ago, on the Atlanta tv news, at their home at Barden campus. When it all began. When they were all still together. When all of them were alive.

But that was then. This was now. What was left of them. Their now. A savage world that became a constant and raw reminder of the things they had to left behind, the family who was no longer by their side. A world in which they had to keep living, reminding and honoring the(ir) fallen ones. That was their ultimate goal: survival.

It was early morning now, the sun was rising. Chloe was sitting on a roof of a house in the middle of nowhere -fog and trees surrounding it. She was now focusing on some corpses who were sleep-walking here and there. The sounds those things made were disgusting -guttural, throaty; as if something inside of what was left of the corpses' vocal chords had ripped. The smell was indescribable.

Chloe, then, heard a sound behind her -she had always her guard up due to the nature of the actual world. The redhead turned her head then her body, prepared to drive her waist-knife into whatever creature. But she recoiled as soon as she saw a familiar figure approaching towards her.

"Hey, sleepyhead" Chloe said, smiling. "I didn't wanna wake you up, so I figured-"

"-you'd be up here by yourself, yeah. I figure that out, too" Beca said softly as she smiled and placed a kiss on Chloe's forehead, before she sat down by the redhead's side. "Couldn't sleep?".

"Not really" Chloe whispered as she placed her head over Beca's left shoulder. "I keep having nightmares now and then. It's been such a rough month...".

October began just like every month. They weren't all alive, they're fewer then -but they're still six of them left alive: Stacie, Flo, Emily, Aubrey, Beca and Chloe. Things were quiet for a while, but they eventually lost Flo and Stacie, who got bitten. A herd of corpses surprised the two women when they're scavenging a few miles away from the house they all were set. 

Flo was caught by the herd. Stacie was close -she got bitten trying to get Flo out, but she couldn't do anything. So the tall one ran out instead and eventually made it to the house. By the end of the month, only four of them were still alive -they had to put Flo out of her misery, rejecting the idea of seeing her friend turn; and Stacie pretty much rejected that idea too when she asked their friends to end her due to her fatal infection. Emily, Aubrey, Beca and Chloe were the only Bellas left alive.

"I've always hated October, but dude... This one's been by far the most hateful... Oh, I brought this in case you were wanting to cup under it?" Beca asked, as she began unfurling a blanket.

"Mmm" Chloe nodded in response. Once they were covered by the blanket, both women looked at each other and shared a smile.

"It only takes me a couple of seconds to forget all of this apocalypse situation by looking into these bright blue eyes of yours, you know that?" Beca said, smiling broadly at Chloe, who was doing the same. The redhead's response came as a kiss on her best friend's lips, who brought her left arm around Chloe's shoulders to brought her closer.

"Yeah, this apocalypse totes sucks" said Chloe, as soon as their kiss broke. Both women rested their foreheads against each other's for a while.

"Come here" Beca whispered tenderly, leaning Chloe towards her; who resumed her position and placed her head back over Beca's left shoulder -the redhead's right arm around the brunette's waist.

"Look at these things... Rotten inside and out... Who would ever want to live like that?" Chloe asked, rhetorically, after a minutes of silence.

"I know. I still have their faces on my mind... I-I just can't un-picture them. It isn't fair that some of us get to live and some of us have to live like... that..." Beca said, pointing to the sleepy-walking corpses. "It isn't fair that we have to keep watching our friends die and then kill them by droving something into their brains, and keep seeing their rotten faces, and keep dreaming about it... It's-"

"-exhaustingly raw, I know. But none of this is fair. It's not fair we have to keep living like this. As if none of us had these tremendous burdens to bear, such as knowing only two of our friends are left alive... Nothing of this is fair at all. To none of us".

"Dude, how did we get used to all of this? Losing friends, losing a part of ourselves every time we had to watch them die... I've never been the crying type, but I feel like I got no tears left to cry. It's... weird".

"I was thinking about that just when you came up here... I guess it's due to how things are now. This world... Everything's rotten, everything's... There's no hope left. We can't think about anything nice nor nicer, because-"

"-nothing is" Beca mumbled with a shadow in her voice.

"Every day is a repetition of yesterday. We keep circling around. On an endless loop. But hey, we gotta keep trying, Bec".

"Keep moving, keep surviving. Yeah, I know the deal. It's just difficult".

"We're gonna stand up at some point, you'll see. We got Emily and Aubrey. And... we got us" Chloe said, as she squeezed Beca by her waist.

"What I see is how this shitty apocalypse is making you braver, tougher and stronger" now was Beca the one who squeezed Chloe's shoulders.

"Oh, but someone had already taught me how to be that strong through the years..." Chloe winked while looking into Beca's eyes.

"You mean Aubrey?".

"Oh, totes!" Chloe joked, and she and Beca chuckled -they'd been keep treasuring these rare, unique and intimate moments for themselves only; the only thing it keep them from falling apart with the world. Then, both women leant into each other and shared a soft, intimate kiss. Once the kiss came to a natural end, they both stared deeply at each other's eyes -getting lost into them, smiling broadly to one another.

"I'd have fallen apart months ago if we weren't... You know..." Beca then whispered.

"I also thought about that, you know? When you found me here I was just thinking about the things we all lost, but also... This had me thinking about the things we have now. Our now. Us. I mean, it probably is the highest price to pay for us to finally be together but I-I'm happy?".

"I'm happy too, Chlo -if we are even allowed to say that... Good thing we stayed up that night, huh?".

"Definitely. I mean, don't misunderstand me. I'm really happy Aubrey and Emily are here with us, and you know that I'd do anything to bring back all the Bellas that couldn't make it, but the truth is I-I-"

"-just need you" Beca and Chloe both said in unison. They kept smiling as they remained in silence for a while, until Chloe broke the ice.

"You remember what you said to me that night? When we first heard about the outbreak?".

"Every single one of them, but which one are you referring to?".

"The one about everyone's need to have an anchor? Which was pretty cute, honestly".

"Ooh. That one, yeah..." Beca blushed a little.

"You're sooooo cute when you blush. What I meant earlier is you were right. Everyone needs an anchor, especially in a post-apocalyptic shitty world. I know that now, 'cause I also know I'd rather turn into one of those things than be alone out here. Without you".

"Aw, Chlo. Be careful, 'cause if my heart explodes I'll be the one who turns into one of those things...".

"Oh, shut up".

"You're right, though. No one who's alone in this would ever survive, because what's the point in surviving if you're just surviving alone. Right?".

Beca and Chloe, then, hugged one another and resumed their positions so they were all cuddled up under the blanket, holding one another into the cold autumn morning while the sun was setting. They faced the horizon ahead of them, looking through the city they once considered their home. Looking at the unknown that lied ahead and beyond -hoping for a new normal; wishing, maybe, for some kind of a new hope.

#bechloe #bechloe fic #apocalypse!au #what lies ahead #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #pp2 #21st century survival blues #brave face #frank turner #frankturner!universe

[thoseofgreatambition]

guardian to be

genre: supernatural, fantasy, thriller

pairings: none

wordcount: 3.5K

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence and spirits, vomit

a/n: remember that short story i’ve been talking about all semester, this is it! it’s based off of an idea for a novel i had a few years ago, and I��m so proud of the finished product! i’ve tagged my permanent tag babes, so i hope y’all like it! if you’d like to be added to the permanent tag, please let me know!

November 11, 2017 

 “Aren’t you supposed to be good at this?” Lee scowled at the woman opposite from him, as she frantically formed a line of salt around the room. “Didn’t I hire you so I didn’t end up holed up in some murder cabin being chased by demons?” 

 Ada’s hands shook so hard she couldn’t keep the salt into a line. Her hands felt numb, and for the first time in two centuries she was remembering what true fear felt like. Sure, she couldn’t die, but that didn’t mean those spirits wouldn’t kill her companion. “They’re not demons, they’re spirits. They’re hurting and confused, that’s why they came after us.” 

 She shot a look over her shoulder to see Lee standing in the middle of the room looking more and more agitated as things went on. His lower lip wobbled as his brow furrowed, and Ada watched as his eyes began to shine. Her maternal side took over, as it was prone to do. 

 “I’m sorry, Lee.” 

 Just like that, the floodgates opened. The 19 year old broke into sobs, his fists clenched so hard it hurt as he desperately tried to wipe away each tear as it came. His shoulders shook as he fought the urge to wail. Lee had always prided himself as being put together and mature, after all, being raised by a single mother would do that, but this was too much, even for him. 

 He wasn’t even done with his first year of college yet. Life wasn’t supposed to be like this. He should have been worrying about what his grade in Algebra II was, not whether or not some demons or spirits or whatever the hell you wanted to call them were going to kill him.

 This wasn’t fair! This wasn’t even his fault.

 It was his father’s fault, and why should he be blamed for what a serial killer did before he was even born?

 One Month Prior: October 11, 2017

 Lee stood in front of a rather shabby looking house, with a skeptical look on his face. He’d confided to a friend that he’d felt like he’d been followed lately, and that he could have sworn he’d seen things crawling outside of his windows at night. That friend had spoken to one of their friends, who had spoken to a friend of a friend’s friend who eventually got back to Lee with an address and a name of someone who could protect him. 

 The college freshman had scrawled it on the back of a dining hall receipt and now he wondered if this was all some sort of prank. The name Adelaide Lewis didn’t exactly seem like it would strike fear into anyone’s heart. 

 Regardless, he’d spent 40 minutes trying to find the damn place, and his morbid sense of curiosity wouldn’t let him leave without at least finding out what this was all about. 

 The pastel blue door flew open after the second knock, revealing a woman who hardly looked older than he did. A glance inside showed what seemed to be one of the ugliest home interiors Lee had ever seen. The furniture was a mix of stuffy Victorian china cabinets, beaded curtains from the 60’s, and what appeared to be shag carpeting with several Disney movie posters framed on the walls. 

 The girl seemed unassuming at best. She wasn’t the type of person that stood out when you passed them. Her features were kind but plain, with wide brown eyes and dark hair in braided pigtails. For a moment Lee wondered if she was either insane for decorating a house like this, or was living with whoever he was supposed to see. “I’m here to see an Adelaide Lewis?” 

 “Oh please, call me Ada. Come on in. Are you Lee?” 

 Reluctantly he shed his coat, and hung it on a rather antique looking coat rack. “I am, yes.”

 Lee considered himself to be good at reading people, and while he got no strange vibes from Ada, it was hard to feel comfortable. His shoes sunk into the shag carpeting, and while the floor looked clean, he was reluctant to take them off. Still, Lee did as his mother taught him to do and removed the trainers, only feeling mildly abashed by his Legend of Zelda socks. “Is this your parent’s home?” The false note of Texas politeness seemed far too obvious and inwardly he cringed. 

 Either Ada was too polite to comment or she didn’t notice. Either way, she shook her head. “No, it’s mine. I’ve lived here for about… ah, sixty years? Seventy maybe…” she looked back at him and laugh, “It’s so easy to lose track of time after a while, isn’t it? Would you like something to drink? I’ve got coffee, tea, water, sweet tea… I went to H.E.B the other day, I have some of that powdered lemonade stuff that everyone seems so fond of. “ 

 It was almost as if Lee’s brain had stopped working for a moment. “Se-seventy years? You’ve lived here for seventy years?” 

 “Yes.” 

 “You’re my age.” 

 Ada laughed once more, a melodic sound that filled up the room they were in. “Oh, is that why you’re confused? I should have explained. I’m not a human. Well, I used to be one, but I’m not anymore. I died you see, a long time ago in the 1800’s. I’m really 200 years old. I turned into a guardian angel, and now I work for hire protecting humans from immediate danger.” 

 Again, Lee froze. He only jerked into motion when a theretofore unknown cuckoo clock made itself known to him by shooting out a wooden bird next to his left ear. “Shit!” at her disapproving cluck of her tongue, he looked abashed. “Sorry. I just—A guardian angel?” 

 “Yes.” 

 “I thought you weren’t… I thought those weren’t real.” 

 Ada shrugged, “Everyone does. But you got recommended me by a friend right? Do you trust them?” 

 “More of an acquaintance really.” Or an acquaintance of an acquaintance… of an acquaintance. Lee was silent for a moment, wondering about her question. He didn’t really know, though he supposed he trusted his friend who put him in contact with the one who recommended Ada to him. “I suppose so, though.”

 “So what’s the harm? I’ll take whatever you can pay me.” 

 “You don’t even know what my problem is.” 

 “You’re a kid. You came to some sketchy house and listened to some ‘crazy lady’ tell her story just because something was really bothering you.” She gestured to his shoes that had holes near the plastic soles and the weathered hem of his jeans. “You obviously don’t have a lot of money to blow on this sort of thing, I’m not going to rob you of the next semester’s rent check. So what would you like to drink, and what’s the problem?” 

 There was a long period of silence as Lee’s brain worked in overdrive, trying to understand what in the world was going on. His tan hand fiddled with his sleeve cuff, and his brown eyebrows knit themselves together as he thought. It was like he’d stepped into some sort of strange, fantasy or sci-fi novel. Sure—he enjoyed reading those things, but to actually be in a situation like that was quite unnerving. 

 Suddenly he found himself wondering if he was having some sort of fever dream or had gone insane without noticing. Especially when what she was saying sounded good enough that he was willing to go along with it. 

 “I’d like some sweet tea, please.” Lee situated himself in an overstuffed armchair, and looked at Ada with a worried expression, wondering how to explain about his problem. “Something is following me. Or some things. There are these creatures following me around. I keep seeing the shadows out of the corner of my eyes.I hear people talking to me when I’m all alone—There were people outside of my window last night, and I live on the fifth floor!” his voice cracked as his anxiety rose and Lee massaged his throat. “I don’t know what to do.” 

 Ada handed him a glass of sweet tea and sat down across from him, taking a sip of her own glass. “Tell me about you.”

 He was silent, wondering what that had to do with anything. Eventually though due to Ada’s silent probing he finally got around to speaking. “I’m a sophomore in college. I’m nineteen, I’ll be twenty in June… I’m studying English History.” His voice trailed off, “Honestly I’m not sure what you want from me.” 

 She pointed a long finger towards a window covered with a lacy curtain, and spoke very calmly, “Is that one of the things following you?”

 Lee spun around and saw a dark silhouette outside of the window. It looked like a human, a woman, perhaps? He could almost make out her face, and her pained expression. For a short moment Lee felt sorry for her until she let out an ungodly wail of anger and began to beat on the window. 

 He jerked up from his seat, not sure what to do in his panic, and accidentally knocked over his glass of sweet tea onto the red shag carpeting. Ada was quicker to spring into action, she opened a small chest of drawers next to her chair, pulled out a white bladed knife and very calmly walked over to the window. The rest happened so quickly that Lee didn’t know what to say happened. Ada yanked open the window, grabbed the attacker by what seemed to be ethereal strands of hair and shoved the dagger into her back. Immediately the wailing stopped and the being, whatever it was seemed to disintegrate into nothing. 

 Ada looked towards him and Lee noted that there was no blood on the knife. She quirked her head and took in the sight of him, “You’ve got spirits following you. And it appears that something in you has made them rather angry.” 

 October 18, 2017

 Lee was retching in the corner, and Ada sighed just a bit as she watched him. The poor thing. This was not how someone should find out about this sort of family history. It did explain a lot about why those spirits were following him though. 

 They were standing in a rather dark corner of the Texas Lutheran University library, with quite a few old newspaper articles pulled up onto the computer. Ada stared at the screen, and felt a chill roll down her spine at the image before her.

 A man who looked just like Lee, stood in a courtroom in an orange jumpsuit. The caption ‘Serial killer sentenced to death’ was in italics underneath and described a rather horrible series of crimes. A confirmed victim count of ten, with quite a few more suspected from the man. A woman sat in the front row behind him, visibly pregnant and crying. As Ada read the article she let out a sigh. This did explain a lot. 

 As he dry heaved into a waste basket, Lee desperately tried to catch his breath. This couldn’t be happening. This was not what his mother told him. She said that his father was an old boyfriend who moved away to Germany after college. Lee hadn’t tried to pester her for more information. Why should he? He was happy with his life as it was. His mother had given him more love than he bet two parents could have given him. 

 “That article’s wrong!” 

 “Lee, it identifies your mother by name.” she scrolled through to another article, titled “Arthur ‘Artie’ Scott executed via electric chair”. “The date of his execution was almost exactly 19 years ago, Lee. It’s why they’re going after you. They’re upset and they didn’t get any closure.” 

 “But why are they going after me now!?” Lee’s voice roared out throughout the quiet space, and bounced around the walls. “I didn’t do anything!” 

 That was a fair question, but it only took a little while to find the answer. “Your father was 19 when he was executed, Lee.” 

 “Don’t call him my father!” 

 Ada ignored his outburst and continued, “They think you’re him. You’re his age, you look alike…” with a long sigh she stared at the angry young man in front of her. His world had been turned completely upside down—thankfully all of her time spent on earth had given her enough patience to handle a bit of misplaced anger. “Now we know where to start though. This won’t be too bad, I think.” 

 “Oh you don’t think it’ll be ‘that bad’? We just found out my—“ he sputtered, as he tried and failed to make the word ‘dad’ leave his mouth. “He’s a serial killer. How is that ‘not bad’ Ada? In what world does that mean ‘not bad’!?” 

 “We just have to wait for a little while longer, let some more time pass so they realize you aren’t him. We’ll find someplace safe, and hide out.” 

When Lee seemed to falter, as if she was saying something that couldn’t be achieved, Ada frowned, “What is it?” 

 “I can’t leave.” 

 “Why?” 

 “Midterms.” 

November 11, 2017 

 Now here they were. 

 Trapped, with no way out. 

 “I can’t believe I let you take me here!” Lee’s voice cracked with rage. Perhaps this was misplaced anger, but dammit, if he was about to die then he didn’t think it should matter. “This was supposed to be a safe place! We should have stayed near everyone else!” 

 “That wouldn’t have worked, Lee. We’d have put everyone else in danger and they’d have found us even sooner.” She looked at him with a frown, and watched as he shook and trembled while trying to hold back his emotions. “Lee I’m sorry. I need you to stay calm.” 

 “I thought you could protect me! What the hell kind of guardian angel can’t protect someone?” 

Ada flinched as Lee’s words hit fairly close to home, “Lee.” 

 “No really! A guardian angel for hire? What in the hell was I thinking? You’re just some crazy chick aren’t you?” 

 “No!” Ada raised her voice for the first time that Lee knew her, breaking the calm and motherly demeanor he’d come to know. “I was a guardian angel! I was!” 

 The silence that fell between them was heavy, as Lee processed her words. “Was?” when she blanched and set down the salt, Lee continued to stare at her, “You were a guardian angel? Past tense? As in, you’re not a guardian angel anymore?” 

 “I lost my wings.” 

 He shook his head a bit in confusion, “What does that mean?” 

 “You become a guardian angel by dying protecting someone else. I died protecting my son and became his… but when he passed away naturally, a long time later I was assigned to new people.” She hesitated, and only continued to speak when Lee looked at her imploringly. “I wasn’t good with them. I did what I did with my son and encouraged them to follow their dreams and what they wanted to do, but—“ 

 “But what?” 

 “That didn’t work out well. They kept making bad choices. They got hurt. They wound up dying. Eventually I got in trouble and was sent down like this, on probation. I’ve got to save one hundred people to become a guardian angel again. You’re my hundredth.”

 It took a little while, but Lee felt his surprise turn to anger once more, as he shouted at Ada, “Why didn’t you tell me that?!” 

 “I knew it would scare you off. I can handle this though! I’ve handled trackings like this before—it’s textbook!” 

 “You screwed up so bad that you got fired as a guardian angel! You really think you’re good enough to keep me safe?” Lee gestured to the cabin walls, where they could hear the echoes of the damned outside. “This is your fault! This is your fault! I’m going to die because of you!” 

 Ada flinched just a bit, wondering how exactly to recover from this. There was only one real way to recover from this. “You’re not going to die.” 

 It was impossible to kill an angel, even one on probation, but not for those who were also ethereal beings. 

 “Oh really, I’m not going to die? How are you going to save me Ada? You going to do the same sort of job that you did with all your other clients?” 

 She took a deep breath, he was young and angry. Rightfully so. It wasn’t right to lash out back at him. “I’m going to distract them while you grab the car and get out of here. Take my knife, and my bag it’s got lots of things in there to protect you. Holy water, loads of salt to ward off spirits. Go and hide somewhere safe, and wait it out for as long as you can. They’re already decreasing in numbers as they realize you aren’t your dad. I give it another week.” 

She grabbed a shotgun off of the wall and loaded several odd looking bullets in them. For a moment, Lee was distracted enough to forget his anger. “How are you going to distract them?” Lee had never been a hunter, nor had he ever really seen a gun up close, but those didn’t appear to be normal bullets. “What are you putting in there?” 

 The real answer was blessed silver buckshot, something that would cover a large range and inflict lots of damage. However, it wouldn’t kill them. At least not all of them. “They’re special bullets that can kill the spirits.” 

 “You’ve got enough in there for them?” 

 She did not, but one of the few things Ada had learned on this earth during her short time as a mother was that at times, it was best to lie for the comfort of others. 

 “Of course. Hide out, I’ll come and find you, and if I can’t find you in a week then go back to normal. It’ll be over by then alright?” 

 Something felt wrong to Lee. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something about all of this felt off. It was enough to completely wash away his anger. “You’ll be alright then? You’ll come and find me?” Even if he’d been angry at Ada, it was hard to go through a month of this with someone and not become their friend. “You won’t get hurt?” 

 Without hesitation, Ada smiled and lied to his face. “Of course I’ll be alright. Don’t worry.”

 There wasn’t enough buckshot, and she was sending him off with everything else in her arsenal. 

 It was impossible to explain to Lee why she’d failed so many times, an impossible thing to explain to anyone who hadn’t been a mother. But Ada had followed everyone before she’d gone on probation from birth to death, and they’d all become her children in her eyes. Perhaps this made her a bad mother, but as the world around them quickly changed she’d had trouble keeping up with what was safe for them and what was dangerous.

 All she’d ever done was try to guide them to make the right decisions, and she’d seemed to fail at that. 

 Things had gone better since she’d gone on probation, but right now Lee was a scared kid, someone who needed comfort and to be protected. Just like her son had been two centuries ago.

 “Now go on Lee to the garage and get in the car. Open the door, the salt line that’s down will still keep them out until you drive over it. When you hear me shoot, drive out and get as far away as you can, okay? Just keep driving.” 

 “Ada…” 

 “Go, now.” Her voice sounded a great deal like Lee’s mother when she’d decided on something and Lee no longer had a choice in the matter. He stared at her for a moment before nodding and walking to the garage. 

 Ada waited until she heard the car start up and the garage door open. She felt cold. Her hands were trembling. However, she’d died before, and while this time there was no promise of an afterlife, Ada allowed an overwhelming sense of peace to wash over her. She had failed plenty of times in her many years. This time though, she would succeed. 

 With that thought in mind, Ada swung open the door to the cabin, kicked a hole in the line of salt and fired a shot straight into the chest of one of the spirits in front of her. 

 Before the mob descended she could see Lee drive off into the distance. 

 Yes, she’d done her job this time.

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