#His video on haunted houses is just so evocative

[adultswim2021]

Fat Guy Stuck in Internet #2: “Beast and Breakfast” | April 1, 2008 - 12:00AM | S01E02 Final version aired June 23, 2008 @ 12:15AM. 

Adult Swim has a rich history doing various programming stunts on April Fools. Some years the prank is a dastardly trick. In 2008 it was a sweet treat. They filled the post-midnight portion of their programming block with premieres and sneak peeks. This was one of them.

We kick off the April Fools block with Fat Guy Stuck in Internet, a show that is largely forgotten by most. It’s not on HBOMax, but the whole series is on Adult Swim’s website, so that’s nice. What’s no longer online, I assume, is the video commentaries that originally ran with each episode. That’s too bad, because there’s remarkably little online about this show and it would’ve been nice to, say, be able to look up who’s playing Scrimshaw. It’s the guy who normally plays Chains, isn’t it?

Gemberling is having a nightmare flashback about being a kid and being told his mother was murdered by a drifter by his emotionally distant father. When Gemberling reacts with the appropriate emotional grief his father gives him food to cope while cruelly laughing at him. Dark stuff, but it’s all undercut by the web-series-calibur acting on display. The voice Gemberling uses for his own father (the actor, John Gemberling, plays his character Gemberling’s own father) is very evocative of internet sketch comedy from around this time. I think it’s basically the same voice the dad has in that AWESOME VIDEO GAMES series that I remember liking, mildly, but getting mad that everyone in the cast had dumb bro earrings in. I know I’ve said this before, and I’m sorry, but: if you get dumb earrings or tattoos or even just have dumb facial hair you refuse to shave off you should be banned from performing sketch comedy. 

Rich Fulcher! WOW! I forgot he was in this. I probably didn’t know who he was in 2008. Anyway, Gemberling meets up with a panel of elders or something (all played by Fulcher) who need Gemberling to prove that he’s the chosen one by slaying a beast. The beast in question is huge, and spends his day running around. He has long flowing hair that Gemberling and the gang grab onto. They find a spooky hotel on the monster’s buttcheeks and decide to stay there. Cue the The Shining parody. The desk clerk is a fella named Scrimshaw who, uh, I thought maybe was a reference to the film Mystery Train. This is because he has brown skin, and he seems vaguely familiar and… possibly a white guy under make-up.

There is exactly one funny joke in this entire show. It’s a scene where Scrimshaw is parodying the bartender scene in The Shining and he tries to tempt Gemberling with cupcakes. “They’re on the house. This gingerbread house.” Funny! But this show, so far, follows the mold of a lot of other tepid Adult Swim shows; it’s a pastiche of a low-brow genre show and the entire joke is that it’s hammy and convoluted.

Anyway, Gemberling battles an inner-demon related to his food addiction in the form of his father, who shows up with Bit and Byte in boiling cauldrons. He defeats him, somehow, and causes the hotel to burn down. It’s pretty unconvincing, and it’s not even very funny. But whatever. I’m supposed to be stoned and having my mind blown that the show Adult Swim said was going to air at Midnight didn’t, and this is airing instead.

I liked the scene when Scrimshaw comes back to the hotel to discover it burned down and gets mad at our heroes, who somewhat rightly remind him that it was a haunted hotel that was trying to kill them all with inner demons. Scrimshaw hops away. “Oh, he’s a FLEA!” he says. AND NOT A BLACK GUY, is the thing left being unsaid. I guess there’s precedent for this. I can actually recall an episode of the even-more-obscure Family Channel series Maniac Mansion where a character disguises herself as a “fly” and it involves her blacking her face up. Maybe I’m a sap, but I don’t think they were being malicious on either of these shows.

Oh yeah, the whole slay-the-beast thing. By destroying the hotel they also destroy the beast, fulfilling their destinies and earning the respect of the Rich Fulcher tribunal. This also earns Gemberling his “internet name”, which turns out to be FAT GUY STUCK IN INTERNET. 

It’s worth noting, I guess, that the version that aired on April Fools was slightly different from the version that aired in June when the season had it’s proper debut. The April Fools version didn’t have an opening sequence. It also didn’t credit Julie Klausner, who I’m guessing was the voice of the cupcakes in the Gingerbread house (who behave like freaking hookers).

EPHEMERA CORNER:

The Venture Bros: Sneak Peek (April 1, 2008 - 12:15AM)

Hey, this also aired! This was just the first act of what wound up being the second episode of season three of The Venture Bros., episode “The Doctor is Sin”. It wasn’t complete, like I said. It was just the first half of the episode. Therefore, I won’t be covering it until the episode actually airs properly later in the year. 

I read somewhere on a wiki that TCM host Robert Osbourne introduced some of the programs that aired for April Fools this year. But I have zero memory of this, and unfortunately I don’t have a recording of the night handy. If anyone could shed some light on this, I would be grateful.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #fat guy stuck in internet

[scarred-but-still-smiling]

I think my house is unwell.

There's new creaks when I climb the stairs, new clangs and groans when I shower, a new rattling in the pipes.

I think my house is sick.

The walls feel Wrong all of a sudden; they have give that they didn't before, and the paint is discoloured.

I think my house is dying.

The floors aren't safe anymore, and the stairs have fallen in. I had to leave through the window because I couldn't get to the front door, and I swear I could hear the house coughing as I left.

I think my house is lonely.

I'd been too busy to check on it, in the rush of moving, but now when I approach it's like I can feel it crying.

I think my house is angry.

The council deemed the house unsalvageable, condemned it to be destroyed, but the team they sent in last week disappeared.

I think my house is vengeful

We abandoned it, after it had been our home for decades, we let it fall into ruin. Maybe if I return, if I apologise, something will happen.

I think

I think

My house hates us

#Poetry #Haunted houses #Ya boi is watching Jacob Geller again #His video on haunted houses is just so evocative #Bc it verbalises exactly why I adore abandoned places #And really old buildings #Bc they feel so alive #scarred stories