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#Happiness Research Institute
in-pleasant-company · 2 months
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June 1913 | September 1913
November 1913 | December 1913
January 10, 1914 | February 15, 1914
February 22, 1914 | March 15, 1914
Di Froyen-Velt (the Jewish Ladies' Home Journal) was a Yiddish women's magazine published in New York in the early 20th century.
The magazines I pulled these images from are available on the website of The National Library of Israel - and you can download them as pdfs. Not all the magazines listed are available and I didn't pull images from all the magazines available to download. Also the downloading is a little glitchy, you might have to click download a couple of times before the download actually starts.
I don't know if the patterns were produced under the label of the magazine, but the March 15, 1914 patterns are listed as being by May Manton (see more here and here).
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jaydoesresearch · 3 months
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Meet Nick! This dolphin was first seen during a routine field expedition. He was in a small pod with four other dolphins, guiding them through the choppy waters of Lake Borgne. Our Researchers will use his dorsal fin- which is completely unique from any other dolphin- to study him, his social dynamics, and habitat use throughout his life! Nick is one of hundreds of dolphins monitored by IMMS via photo-ID. To learn more about our research, check out our website: https://imms.org/research/ With the news of The University of Alabama’s head football coach, Nick Saban, retiring, our Researchers have decided to name this dolphin in honor of his legacy. Enjoy retirement, Coach Saban!
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focusonthegoodnews · 2 years
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Meat Alternatives Made From Fungi Could Cut Deforestation by 50%
Meat Alternatives Made From Fungi Could Cut Deforestation by 50%
Good News Notes: “Researchers from the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research (PIK) have found that substituting just 20% of beef with a fungi-based meat alternative could decrease deforestation by 50% by 2050. According to the researchers, microbial protein, as the fungi-based “meat” is called, can replicate the taste and texture of real beef. But microbial proteins require far less land…
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endusviolence · 15 days
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
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the-music-keeper · 9 months
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Change of plans. Remember when I said I wanted to look up Harvard information this week? Yeah, we're not going to do that. We're going to look at info for The Ohio State University instead.
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todayontumblr · 1 year
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Tuesday April 11.
Autism Acceptance Month.
Today is Tuesday, April 11, which means we are eleven days into the 30 blessed days of #autism acceptance month, 2023 (previously known as #autism awareness month). April is the month and April 2nd is the day—World Autism Day, to be precise—and these first weeks of spring are a time for uplifting autistic voices of all identities, advocating for acceptance, progress, and sharing in the community's joy. It began back in 1972, as National Autistic Children’s Week, and was founded by The Autism Society to raise awareness and campaign for change in communities, schools, medical facilities, and businesses. And this same vital, wonderful work continues today, and not just for the month of April, of course—but every day of every year. The lived reality is that every day of every month is Autism Acceptance Month, and it is on all of us to do better.
Progress has been made, but there is still so much to be done in the struggle for equality and justice for all those living under the broad church of autism. And if these words sound hollow, then simply read the moving story of Debra Vines, of The Answer Inc., and of her autistic son Jason. She articulates everyday struggles that families can face, and the many joys they experience, too. Her message is simple, but powerful: don't give up on milestones.  
Want to know more, get involved, or donate? Here is just some of an impressive selection of charities sourced by the fine people at the Applied Behavior Analysis Programs Guide, where you can find the complete list of 20 charities and organizations:
The Asperger/Autism Network
The Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network
Autism Research Institute
The Autistic Self Advocacy Network
The Autism National Committee
Happy Tuesday, folks, and here's to better.
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spicymancer · 5 months
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Monster Researcher Eclair and the Haunted City (Part 3) This is a collection of art from a series Choose Your Own Adventure polls I ran on twitter a while back! Please enjoy! The Gingerbread Man would have been appropriately sized for Mochabelle which would have been funny. The Witch would have had fun potion shenanigans. Tsurara Onna is a bit of an obscure monster but she's got fun opportunities for temperature play. Hot Cold Older Lady stuff. Still, I'm pretty happy that the Catgirl won the day. I had a lot of fun with her design. Considering promoting her to recurring cast member but she'd need a sweets name and I dunno what she'd do at the institute. Part 1 Part 2
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astrobiscuits · 1 month
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Astrocartography notes
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🌍 Do you want to study abroad? Work abroad? Your MC lines show what domain to pursue:
Sun MC: photographer, actor; check the planet ruling your Sun's zodiac sign for more details
Moon MC: nurse, preschool/elementary teacher, childcare worker/nanny, doula, housekeeper
Mercury MC: librarian, language teacher, speech language pathologist, translator, working in academia, journalist, PR agent, receptionist, secretary, architect, economist, comedian
Venus MC: modelling, artist, fashion designer, hairstylist, makeup artist, art director, interior designer, garden designer, florist, wedding planner
Mars MC: surgeon, firefighter, working at the police, sportsman (the type of sport depends on the zodiac sign Mars is in your birth chart, for ex. Mars in Pisces = football, swimming; Mars in Libra = gymnastics); fitness instructor
Jupiter MC: international driver (driving to your Jupiter MC line brings bonusess💰💰), flight attendant, hotel manager, tour guide, philosopher
Saturn MC: general practitioner, dentist, law, working in the Parliament, working in public institutions, business (CEO), historian, construction worker
Uranus MC: STEM (engineering, ecology sciences, biology), electrician, weather presenter, astronomer/astrophysicist, astrologer, sociology, social worker, advocate for human rights/activist
Neptune MC: choreographer, scenographer, film/theater director, actor, ballet dancer, music composer, rehabilitation worker, bartender, yoga instructor, meditation teacher, reiki practitioner
Pluto MC: adult actor, therapist, psychiatrist, any job regarding forensics (detective, toxicologist, forensic accountant etc.), embalmer, funeral director, loan officer, research analyst
🌍 If you have no astrocartography lines passing through the country you lived for most of your life, you probably don't feel at home in that country and have always wanted to relocate to another country
🌍 When you have atleast 2 lines "conjuncting" each other through a certain country, the planet that is more dominant in your birth chart will have a higher effect in astrocartography
🌍 Mercury IC line can show where one of your siblings or cousins relocate at some point during their life
🌍 If you're a girl and you have daddy issues (hey, we don't judge here!!), travelling to Saturn DSC line will likely bring you lots of opportunities of meeting your perfect partner, but also harsh lessons regarding control in a relationship (this is a good line for you to heal your daddy issues)
🌍 If you want to meet your future spouse and you (personally) find international guys attractive, travelling to Jupiter DSC line is a very good idea. Your future spouse might also be a foreigner in that country, just like you :)
🌍 Sun ASC line shows you where you can find your life's purpose. Also your depression:📉📉 0%, while your happiness:📈📈 100% (unless your Sun is in your 8th or 12th house, then the mental health effect is the complete opposite)
🌍 You could give birth on your Moon IC line😳 or your mom could have given birth to you on that line
🌍 Venus ASC line shows you where you could take lots of pictures (of yourself, of the sightseeings). Also, where you could get diabetes where you will want to try every type of sweets you find there
🌍 You will either get very drunk, consume drugs or smoke some weird shit on your Neptune ASC line (pls take care of your health)
🌍 You could randomly meet an ex or someone who resembles your ex while travelling to your Chiron DSC line
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so-many-ocs · 7 months
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Researching as a Writer
Start Broad
begin with a list of more general topics and get specific as you go.
for example, research for a historical fantasy novel might follow a chain that looks like this:
life in the 1700s -> life in 1700s france -> 1700s french etiquette and lifestyle depending on class -> 1720s french fashion for middle and upper-middle class women.
starting with a general understanding of the topic you want to cover and narrowing down to specifics will make it easier to build on your knowledge as you go.
Think Critically
consider the source. if it doesn’t cite primary sources (for example, letters and photographs from a specific era and location), what sources does it cite? follow those sources if possible.
is the information reliable? is it provided by an educational institution or an expert on the subject?
who is the author? do they present any bias? what do they have to gain by promoting a specific mindset or conclusion? has any of their research been debunked?
Anecdotes
in general, anecdotal evidence is not sufficient for academic writing. luckily for you, this is a fiction writing page, and anecdotal evidence is usually fine!
work with a combination of scholarly sources and personal experience. if you’re trying to depict a specific health condition, you might consult medical sources about the technical details of the condition, as well as seeking firsthand accounts from people who have that condition.
remember that people are not monolithic! there are often forums online where people are more than happy to discuss their experiences; cross-consult these for common elements.
Lists
keep track of your sources!! if you ever need to consult something later on, it will be way easier to open a list of resources than go digging through your search history.
additionally, if you come across lists of sources compiled by other people, save those!! you are probably not the first person to research the specific topic you’re looking into, and there are entire websites dedicated to gathering research!
wordsnstuffblog.com/research has compilations of sources for everything from writing injuries to global period pieces by century.
Resources
if you can, check out your school or public library’s websites! they will often compile scholarly resources to access for free.
look for open access or open source sites like project gutenberg that archive and digitize historical documents and other works. scienceopen and the directory of open access journals are more of these. search using keywords!
keep an eye out for websites made specifically for educational purposes (those with .edu at the end of their addresses).
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reasonsforhope · 8 months
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In 2016, when the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) signed a peace agreement with the Colombian government, scientists realized that the rainforests, mountains, and savannahs, out of which the FARC waged a 50-year guerrilla war, and which were counted among the most biodiverse and least-explored places on earth, were suddenly safe to explore.
In Colombia, a few biologists who longed to journey to the heart of these places also saw them as the perfect way to bring 14,000 former guerrillas back into society in a meaningful way that would benefit not only them, but the country’s stunning biodiversity.
Colombia is often referred to as the world’s most biodiverse country. Although this is a hard thing to designate since many species around the world of all kinds remain undiscovered, she does lay claim to the most bird species anywhere on earth – both endemic and migratory.
Who better to help protect Colombia’s wild spaces than those who know them best, thought Jaime Góngora, a wildlife geneticist at the University of Sydney but who is originally from Colombia.
Góngora now leads a group of researchers from the United Kingdom, Australia, and 10 different Colombian scientific institutions in a program to train ex‑guerrillas to study Colombia’s native plants and animals, which to date has uncovered nearly 100 previously-unknown species.
Peace with Nature
Peace with Nature is the result of these scientists working together with guerillas to help protect Colombia’s biodiversity and aid in the post-conflict situation for thousands of people, 84% of whom, according to Góngora, are interested in pursuing, of all things, river habitat restoration as their post-conflict career path.
Góngora and his colleagues are only too happy to help, and Peace with Nature began hosting citizen scientist workshops to help train eager folks how to find, identify, catalogue, and study wild plants, insects, birds, amphibians, and more.
The preparation work was long and hard – between 15 and 18 months according to Góngora...
“In some of the workshops, we have the presence of the police and military forces along with the ex-combatants,” explains Góngora. “I think what has surprised me most is the opportunity that biodiversity offers for reconciliation and healing after an armed conflict. These workshops have been spaces for a respectful dialogue about biodiversity and nature.”"
youtube
-via World at Large, 7/13/20
Note: Video is half in English, half in Spanish. Spanish subtitles for English parts only.
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melandrops · 7 months
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AITA for being upset with my boyfriend for the position he put me in?
My boyfriend (M30s) and I(M30s) have been dating for a few months, but have known each other for a few years now. He was my supervisor in the archives department at a paranormal research institute (I don't want to name names and get in trouble, but you could probably guess which one it is) and I was an archival assistant.
Recently, my boyfriend's boss (the head of said institute) manipulated him into starting the apocalypse and changing the world as we know it. I want to make it clear that I don't blame him at all for this. I love my boyfriend and I know he never intended for this to happen. But he blames himself a lot, despite my best efforts to convince him that this wasn't his fault.
We were faced with a decision recently that would have fixed things. There were essentially two choices, which I'm going to try and present in an unbiased manner, though I have my opinions.
-We could kill our boss. However, this would require my boyfriend to take my boss's place as the arbiter of the dread power who oversees the apocalypse. My boyfriend would have been arguably in a worse position than ever before.
-We could flush out our boss (as well as all the other core fears of our new apocalypse) into an alternate dimension. However, we would have no idea who or what could be impacted by that.
Me, my boyfriend and a few of our coworkers ended up discussing it and putting it to a vote. We decided to go with the second option. My boyfriend wasn't happy with this (I think it's because he's got a bit of a martyr complex, but he insists that's not the reason.)
My boyfriend said that he would go along with the popular vote, but he ended up going behind my back to carry out the first option. I found him in the process of ascending into godhood, but was too late to stop it. I was PISSED OFF. Pissed off isn't strong enough. I was furious. Not only did he go behind my back, but he insisted on carrying out his stupid martyr complex.)
I gave him a thorough scolding and he ended up telling me to go through with the second plan anyway, despite the fact that he'd now become god anyway. He said that if I stabbed him while the powers were being released, there was a chance we could come out the other end happy. I did it, but I was NOT happy to do it. It had a really big impact on me to do that to my boyfriend, especially when it was all avoidable. I feel angry still, but also a little bad for feeling so angry. So...AITA?
Edit for context: At one point, my boyfriend promised me that he would never leave me if there was any other option. So this felt like an added betrayal on top of all that.
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in-pleasant-company · 2 months
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Ana's Green Dress as seen in Rebecca to the Rescue and Changes for Rebecca
Pattern 7860, Di Froyen-Velt June 1913, via The National Library of Israel
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jymwahuwu · 19 days
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@blbrrymilk again c: your spanking post for ratio gave me some brainrot..
have you seen this hentai ??https://myanimelist.net/anime/31886/Dropout u///u
it's about students who end up basically as pets/ servants to the top students in their class (or staff for this ask/au) because of their low grades. it made me think of Dr.Ratio and the genius society indulging in this behavior quietly among their institution. reader is so happy they recieved the letter to enroll into a prestigious academy only to find out what happens when they can't keep their GPA high enough :)
cw: yandere, non-con, corporal punishment, abuse of power
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>///< I researched this hentai. This is great, thank you for the recommendation!! I like being a pet or being used…
And what you mentioned - yes, yes, an emotional rollercoaster. You have been looking forward to this offer. This is the famous college of your dreams, because there are famous scholars in the universe. Congratulations from your friends/family. You excitedly picked out your new clothes and prepared to study for your subjects. You took a spaceship and came to this academy to enroll…but everything was not as you imagined. From the beginning, you and all students were told that you needed to achieve a certain GPA! And the goal you received was 4.0… 4.0? This requires an A or A+ in every required and elective course!
And it is said that those who fail to achieve this goal will be punished. You have seen some students return to their seats with red eyes or a slightly hoarse voice. You ask them what happened, but they shake their heads and don't answer. And this didn't just happen when grades were issued at the end of the semester, Dr. Ratio has already selected you as his student.
If the naughty behavior is corrected, if you are distracted for 5 minutes in class, you will be spanked for 5 minutes after class, with a bare bottom. You cried and clenched the chair, those slaps hitting your buttocks firmly, leaving marks. If you talk back, then you have to serve his cock and copy from the textbook…
It's the end of the semester. Even though you have tried your best to study, you still cannot meet the GPA requirements. Dr. Ratio, who has always had high expectations for you, tells you that you need to attend a "private counseling session." You know what will happen 🤤💖
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focusonthegoodnews · 2 years
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Giant sinkhole with a forest inside found in China
Giant sinkhole with a forest inside found in China
Good News Notes: “A team of Chinese scientists has discovered a giant new sinkhole with a forest at its bottom.  The sinkhole is 630 feet (192 meters) deep, according to the Xinhua news agency, deep enough to just swallow St. Louis’ Gateway Arch. A team of speleologists and spelunkers rappelled into the sinkhole on Friday (May 6), discovering that there are three cave entrances in the chasm, as…
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blacknedsoul-blog · 1 month
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A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD
So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.
Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?
But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:
I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.
In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.
I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.
You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.
If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.
If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.
Anyway, let's get started.
What is ADHD?
According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:
Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.
Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.
Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.
Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.
Hyperactivity
One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.
In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.
Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.
Annabel.
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Doesn't.
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Sit.
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Still.
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Never.
It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.
This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.
Emotional Dysregulation
The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.
This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.
Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.
It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.
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Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.
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Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.
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And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.
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If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.
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We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.
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I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"
Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."
Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.
Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?
And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:
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Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.
Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).
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My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.
Codependency
Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.
As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.
The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.
This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.
But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.
The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.
And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?
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What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.
Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.
But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.
If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.
Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards
Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.
New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.
So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."
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One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.
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If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.
It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.
Erratic Communication
When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.
One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.
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Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.
That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.
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This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.
Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.
Drinks that are like a pill
Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.
And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.
Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.
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You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.
If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.
Boredom
We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.
Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.
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Boredom
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Is
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Fucking
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Murder
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Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.
Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)
In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.
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So…
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Um…
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…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.
Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.
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aita-blorbos · 25 days
Note
(Spoilers for Magnus Archives)
AITA for burning my childhood house down
Hello, Jon.
Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.
I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. (slightly strained) I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen.
Now, shall we turn the page and try again?
WIBTA for starting the apocalypse
I hope you’ll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It’s rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can’t tell me you’re not curious.
Why does a man seek to destroy the world?
It’s a simple enough answer: for immortality and power. Uninspired, perhaps, but – my god. The discovery, not simply of the dark and horrible reality of the world in which you live, but that you would quite willingly doom that world and confine the billions in it to an eternity of terror and suffering, all to ensure your own happiness, to place yourself beyond pain and death and fear.
It is an awful thing to know about yourself, but the freedom, Jon, the freedom of it all. I have dedicated my life to handing the world to these Dread Powers all for my own gain, and I feel… nothing but satisfaction in that choice.
I am to be a king of a ruined world, and I shall never die.
I believe there are far more people in this world that would take that bargain than you would ever guess. And I have beaten all of them.
Of course, this desire did not manifest overnight. When RS (87, M) first gathered our little band – L, S, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of the things he had learned from R, I felt what I believe we all felt: curiosity, and fear.
But as he compiled his taxonomy and codified his theories on the grand rituals, I began to develop a very specific concern. RS was so obsessed with his ideas on balance, even as our fellows began to experiment and fall to the service of our patrons.
I began to worry that if one of them successfully attempted their ritual, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world.
At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable transformation was to bring it about myself. So what began as an experiment soon became a race.
Beyond that, I was getting older, and mortality began to weigh more heavily on my mind. How much in this world is done because we fear death, the last and greatest terror?
I convinced RS to work on Millbank, leading him to design it as a temple to all the Fears in equilibrium, such that my own modifications to the design of the Panopticon went… unremarked.
It. Took. Years. for the dread of the prisoners to fully suffuse the place, and I was an old man before I made my first attempt at the Watcher’s Crown, sat in the center of that colossal eye, the great ring of cells encircling me like a coronet.
It was… flawed, of course, as all RS’s rituals were, and none of the inmates survived as the power I attempted to harness shook the building almost to pieces, and the murky swamp upon which the prison was built consumed it.
But it left me a gift: For sat in that watchtower, I could see everything I turned my mind to.
It was a dizzying power, and one I discovered I maintained even as I found vessels to extend my life. Of course, I had to make sure the location was kept under my control while I worked on revising my plans, and so I moved the organization I had founded to assist in my research down to London, and the Institute as you know it was born.
I’ll not bore you with details of my bodies and failures through those intervening years. Suffice to say I kept busy, both planning my own next attempt, and doing my best to stymie those others who tried versions of their own.
Surely my interpretation of the Watcher’s Crown had been incomplete; there had been some element of the ritual I had overlooked.
It was not until I met G (70, F) that things began to really come into focus.
You see, the role of Archivist has been part of the Beholding for as far back as my research can go. This isn’t uncommon for the Powers; most of the beliefs around them are guesswork and fallible human interpretation, but there are certain throughlines and consistencies that can be spotted, regardless of the trappings.
But G was unlike any other Archivist. She simply did not care about compiling experiences or collecting the fears of others. She was driven to stop those who served the Powers.
More than once I thought she must secretly be of the Hunt – but there was never that sick joy in her, that thrill of predator and prey. She had simply decided that this was her position in life, and went about it with a practicality that even I found disconcerting at times.
I once asked her what drove her, what had started her down that path. She told me the Desolation had killed her cat.
I don’t know if she was joking, and, to be honest, I could never bring myself to look into her mind and find out for sure.
In any case, G’s ruthless efficiency in derailing and collapsing rituals threw into stark relief a question that had been bothering me for almost a hundred and fifty years: In the whole span of humanity, why had nobody ever succeeded?
Perhaps there were a long line of G throughout history, but I found that hard to credit. Could it be, then, that there was something in the very concept of the rituals that meant they couldn’t succeed?
She was clearly having similar thoughts in that last year, all of which culminated with the People’s Church.
When I saw that she was making no preparations whatsoever to stop it, I realized she was putting into practice a theory, and one she couldn’t afford to be wrong. She was going to wait, and see if the unopposed ritual succeeded, or if it collapsed under its own strain as mine had all those years ago.
Knowing G, I’m sure she had a backup plan if she had miscalculated – but she had not. The ritual failed. And all at once, I realized what had to be done.
You see, the thing about the Fears is that they can never be truly separated from each other. When does the fear of sudden violence transition into the fear of hunted prey? When does the mask of the Stranger become the deception of the Spiral?
Even those that seem to exist in direct opposition rely on each other for their definition as much as up relies on down.
To try and create a world with only the Buried makes as much sense as trying to conceive a world with only down.
Every ritual tied itself so closely to a single power as to render itself impossible. They could bring their patron close, but never sever it from the others, and eventually it would be violently pulled back into the place next to reality where they dwell.
The solution, then, is simple: A new ritual must be devised which will bring through all the Powers at once. All fourteen, as I had hoped I could complete it before any new powers such as Extinction were able to fully emerge. All under the Eye’s auspices, of course. We mustn’t forget our roots.
And there was only one being that could possibly serve as a lynchpin for this new ritual: The Archivist. A position that had so recently become vacant, thanks to G’s ill-timed retirement plans.
Because the thing about the Archivist is that – well, it’s a bit of a misnomer.
It might, perhaps, be better named: The Archive.
Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, Jon. You are a record of fear, both in mind as you walk the shuddering record of each statement, and in body as the Powers each leave their mark upon you.
You are a living chronicle of terror.
Perhaps, then, if I could find an Archivist and have each Power mark them, have them confront each one and each in turn instill in them a powerful and acute fear for their life, they could be turned into a conduit for the coming of this – nightmare kingdom.
Do you see where I’m going, Jon?
It does tickle me, that in this world of would-be occult dynasties and ageless monsters, the Chosen One is simply that – someone I chose. It’s not in your blood, or your soul, or your destiny. It’s just in your own, rotten luck.
I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but My God, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as some sort of implicit blessing on the whole project, and, do you know what, I think it was.
Of course, I had to bide my time, get a measure of you before I began to push, learn how you worked – So I decided I would wait until something came for you, and see how you reacted. Attacks upon the Archives were not uncommon during G’s tenure, and, while she was always prepared, I made sure you would not be.
I reasoned if you couldn’t survive a single encounter, you were unlikely to make it through all fourteen. So, when JP attacked, I watched eagerly, one hand on the gas release from the start.
You acquitted yourself well enough, so I decided to see how far you would get, though I waited until the worms were in you before I pulled the lever. I needed to make sure you felt that fear all the way to your bones.
The discovery that one of the Stranger’s minions had infiltrated the Institute in the aftermath was certainly a pleasant bonus. Even if that sliver of paranoia, that vague wrongness you couldn’t quite place wouldn’t count as a mark, it was only a matter of time before it confronted you in a far more direct and affecting matter.
Admittedly, given the advent of the Unknowing, I needn’t have bothered. But what’s the old saying about hindsight?
More important to me was Sasha’s encounter with the Distortion. If it had taken an interest, then I very much wanted it to cross your path.
So I found one of its current victims and convinced her to make a statement.
Poor H (~20, F). I actually had to put her in a taxi myself, she was getting so lost in those narrow London side streets.
It worked, though.
Between the stabbing and at least two desperate flights into its doors – you’re marked very deeply by the Spiral.
JL (~70, M) was a surprise, of course, and I was forced to improvise. I had no idea how much G would have told him, and he could very easily have derailed everything if you learned too much too fast.
I justified it to myself saying I was going to have to send you out into the world anyway, if you were to encounter more of the Powers, but I can’t honestly pretend it wasn’t a… rather rash move.
Still. I’d requested Detective T (~25, F) be assigned to the case when they found G’s body in the hope that having a Hunter in the mix would eventually lead to a confrontation, and setting you up as a killer certainly hastened that.
Then it was just a matter of feeding you statements to lead you to a few Avatars I thought were likely to harm you – but probably would stop short of actually killing you.
J (27, F) served her purpose exactly as I had hoped, as did our dearly departed Mr. C, marking you for the Desolation and the Vast.
Honestly, I had – nothing to do with M (23, F) and her Slaughter adventure, but when I saw the situation, I made sure to trap her here, so when her rage bubbled over you would be right there, a ready target.
I didn’t foresee the mark coming from surgery gone wrong, but it was a very pleasant surprise.
The Unknowing was a distraction, but not an unwelcome one. For this to work, you needed more than just the marks; you needed power. And that was something the Unknowing served to test, though it posed no actual danger in the grand scheme of things.
And it did serve another purpose, of course. It inadvertently pushed you to confront death, a mark I had been very worried about trying to orchestrate. If I tried too early, you’d just die. Too late, and you might be powerful enough to see the attempt coming, and maybe even understand why.
As it was, it was just right, and once again, you came through with flying colors.
By this point, your abilities were coming along in leaps and bounds, and I was concerned that meeting face-to-face might end up with you – (sigh) – Knowing something you shouldn’t.
I had initially planned to go into hiding, but when your colleagues surprised me with the police, well. It was simple enough to cut a deal.
All that remained, then, were the Dark, the Flesh, the Buried, and the Lonely.
I was a little put out when that idiot JH (???, M) misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital, but then – Ho, you should have see my face when you voluntarily went to him.
I couldn’t see what happened in there, of course, but given how you came out, I’m very sure it counts as a mark.
I suspected the coffin might turn up again, and once it did, it was simply a matter of getting any, uh… restraining factors you might have had flying off on a wild goose chase, and waiting.
Honestly, Detective T has been proving invaluable through this process. I’d been racking my brains for months about what I could use to lure you in.
And, of course, I knew the Dark Sun was just sitting there waiting. So when it came time, I just whipped up another apocalypse and sent you on your merry way.
Then all that remained was the Lonely.
Poor P (~50, M). He really should have left well enough alone. Or just done what I’d asked in the first place.
Ah well. He knew what I was attempting, and was very unwilling to cooperate until I made him a little wager about M (same age as you, Jon, M).
Of course, he had no way of knowing that, in addition to setting you up for the final mark, he was giving you all the tools you needed to escape from it.
How is M, by the way? He looks well. You will keep an eye on him when all this is over, won’t you? He’s earned that.
And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only impatience.
You are prepared. You are ready. You are marked. The power of the Ceaseless Watcher flows through you, and the time of our victory is here.
Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here, in the world that we have made.
Now. Repeat after me.
You who watch and know and understand none. You who listen and hear and will not comprehend. You who wait and wait and drink in all that is not yours by right.
Come to us in your wholeness.
Come to us in your perfection.
Bring all that is fear and all that is terror and all that is the awful dread that crawls and chokes and blinds and falls and twists and leaves and hides and weaves and burns and hunts and rips and bleeds and dies!
Come to us.
I – OPEN – THE DOOR!
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