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riverdale-retread · 2 years

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Riverdale S6 E21 (#116 The Stand)

Jughead Jones the writer is a person who either can’t or won’t abide by the rules of any genre. His fiction was basically a memoir, and his journalism is one in which he becomes the story. “This may be the last article I ever write” says journalist Jughead Jones, indifferent to the fact that in true journalism the object is for the writer to disappear, pretending instead to convey the voice of ‘objective bystander.’ What Jughead is writing is a personal essay.

Percival can levitate now, apparently, which is funny. Western media often takes very Good Things from Eastern media (such as the Buddha sitting lotus position when he achieved awakening) and then say YES, THE EVIL DOES THIS. Have him put on a druid’s costume and walk around a makeshift Stonehenge or something - wouldn’t that be more his speed?

Archie is given a military strategist role so he makes like Napoleon to move little dolls around on a map while the women do all the actual work. Heather and Cheryl find the opening of the Hellmouth by using two different kinds of folk witchcraft, after which Tabitha brings in the Catholic imagery (the one true religion? LOL). Placing the Holy Grail (remind me again how exactly she has this??) fills it with what looks like oil.

Percival has put the town on lockdown- nothing in or out.

Reggie is a step too late to intercept Percival at his shop. He’s instructed to burn it down. Reggie rescues the portrait of Hiram that Percival took from Veronica, then watches as Cheryl sets fire to the entire building. (I’m sad that Jughead didn’t get to see this. He would’ve had a much better time than Reggie.)

I find it impossible to feel anything other than glee and relief at the decapitations of Alice Cooper, Tom Keller and Uncle Fucking Frank. Not even Betty, with her Virgin Mary blue sweater, being very upset while talking to her sister Polly (who has come back wrong, You can’t tell me otherwise), can make me feel bad about it. Kevin seeking comfort from Fangs and Toni about his dad also didn’t make me feel a bit moved. I’m happy to see Moose though, who has come through in a way that Kevin has never come through for anyone, to lend Kevin emotional support in his time of bereavement.

Veronica comes to check in on Archie. Archie does not mourn Uncle Fucking Frank, not even a little bit. This is the smartest that Archie has ever been on this show and the most I’ve ever liked him. The second smartest that Archie has ever been comes immediately after, when he asks Veronica to come as the negotiation expert for when Archie will meet Percival to discuss the rules of engagement for this conflict.

Before they have the sit down with Percival, The Gang, such as it is, gather at the El Royal. Under a big photo of Fred, these are the people sitting or standing in a big circle, in order:

Cheryl, Betty, Archie, Veronica, Fangs, Toni, Tabita, Jughead, Kevin, Moose sitting behind Kevin and just outside the ‘main’ circle, and Reggie.

It’s a pretty depressing discussion. Betty correctly says this is likely a trap. Despite their efforts last episode, they don’t really know everything Percival wants in any specific way, and they really don’t have the tools to stop him from getting the things they DO know he wants.

What they want is also kind of odd to me. They want to negotiate the return of Alice, Tom and Frank.

Beyond two of them being parents of two in the core circle, why do they want these three people back? Simply from the manner in which they died I suppose. They were shit people and shit parents but Tom and Alice didn’t deserve to be guillotined on live tv. (Uncle Fucking Frank totally deserved it and I stand by that).

In any case, the lengths that the group is willing to go to get the three dead olds back is something the group itself can’t agree on. Baby Anthony (access to or custody of) is obviously a non starter. Veronica suggests offering half of Riverdale. Jughead objects to a reinstatement of a Northside/Southside creation in Riverdale. Curiously, Fangs and Toni do not object.

Cheryl wants to kill Percival, but Tabitha says no because she has seen multiple futures, most of which are bad. Rashness apparently should be avoided.

Over music that tries to ramp up the tension, Veronica asks the bereaved - well, really just Betty and Kevin - whether they’re willing to say goodbye to their mommy and daddy for good, or willing to give something valuable to a literal demonic sorcerer to get them back. Since sacrificing something they want for the benefit of other people are not traits that either Betty or Kevin have demonstrated, the answer appears to be no.

Just before Veronica and Archie take off for their sit down with Percival, Tabitha tells them that shooting Percival point blank actually helped come to a non-apocalypse resolution in one of the futures that she saw. Armed with this knowledge, Veronica and Archie arrive at the Babylonium.

It seems to no longer be functioning as a casino and is generally a Ghoulie hangout. Twyla Twyst is there in very interesting pants. Guess who are Ghoulies now, from mind control?

I had to actually pause to recognize Dr. Curdle Jr. because he just looks like he took to being a Ghoulie. Looks BORN to it. Doctor Curdle Junior and Principal Weatherbee are now confirmed as lovers right? Right? That’s what we’re being presented with, right? Also Principal Weatherbeen has GUNS for days AND is wearing eyeliner and I AM HERE FOR IT.

I think the lady who walked by in a sullen trance right after that was the social worker lady but she didn’t make as much of an impact.

At the sit down itself, in the now slightly rotten looking Babylonium CEO office, the power imbalance is so bad. Percival is sitting behind a desk, making Veronica and Archie stand. Veronica is super powerful, though, because Percival tells her he has taken all sorts of measures to protect against her venom (filters in nostrils, skin coated with sealant).

Veronica and Archie offer a very simple exchange: 3 dead bodies in exchange for Archie giving himself up as prisoner.

“I’ll be your prisoner.”

Archie COULD HAVE just left it at that, but then he gets weird about it. He adds.

“You can do whatever you want to me.”

I mean. That generally tends to be what being a prisoner under these circumstances would mean, right?

Then it gets weird. If he was trying to negotiate the terms of his imprisonment, he could’ve tried setting boundaries for things he does NOT want to put up with, but Archie starts listing things that sound like stuff he WANTS Percival to do:

starve me

chain me up

And Percival tries to head Archie off at the pass because I think he is slightly worried about what else Archie is going to say, because he interrupts with a mild, ‘Sounds great’ while Archie is still talking.

I admit I tensed up when the next thing Archie says is, “Force me-” but it turns out he was coming to a conclusion: “Force me out of the final battle.”

Percival brandishes some terrible looking weapon at them, explaining that this was forged and fortified with magic. He bluntly states that he doesn’t need to negotiate with any of them because he has so many magic weapons at his disposal.

Then Veronica, overriding Jughead’s earlier objection, offers to split the town in half. Percival doesn’t want that either. He just wants revenge on the descendants of the original set of people who tried to get him executed, and to own all of Riverdale. He wants total surrender.

Veronica makes the mistake of monologuing right before she takes out the gun to shoot him, which gives Percival time to do magic and transform the gun into a toy. The sarcastic lip-bite of sadness he makes at Veronica, whom he clearly thinks is so cute, makes me want to shoot Percival myself.

Percival offers to be ‘merciful and generous’ if they surrender, rather than fight, at the Diner (“wherever that is these days”) at 8:30 that night. He claims he is willing to be “merciful and generous.” Percival offers the return of the three bodies so that the others can ‘mourn or bury’ them. Ghoulies are shown wheeling caskets out for the failed negotiators as Percival looks down from on high.

I really like the theatricality of Ghoulie dress. One woman is wearing black and white checked print leggings that have red flowers printed on top of the check like bloody wounds.

Twyla wants to know why Percival gave them “what they want.” To which she gets condescended to (“How little you know of true warfare”) but we get treated to Percival calling Archie and Co. “meddlesome.” Percival says actually that he’s “paying them back in kind” for the plans that the gang ruined. Twyla doesn’t know what that means but doesn’t ask.

Back at the Diner, Cheryl is trying to explain her resurrection powers. I’m completely distracted by the fact that her skintight, high necked dress comes with matching gloves attached. The gloves aren’t fingerless exactly, but they expose the underside of her hands. What is this outfit?

Betty wants to say goodbye to her mother’s body. This is when they discover that Percival did a reverse Titus Andronicus and withheld the decapitated heads. This is a very sick, intense joke. Cheryl says she can’t do the resurrection unless the bodies are ‘whole.’

Jughead uses the words “our loved ones” in this extremely generous way to describe the three dead, but maybe this is for the article.

To balance out the grimness of what has gone before, we are treated to Jughead and Tabitha being sweet in their apartment, as a breather. I like the subtle color coordinating they’re doing with Jabitha, even if they seem dressed for entirely different seasons. Tabitha is in a violet summer top, sleeveless and light. Jughead is a warm red-brown fall sweater, long sleeved. Jughead is making a sandwich which on closer inspection seems to be cream cheese, tomato slices and lettuce on white bread. This is probably why Tabitha didn’t want one.

Tabitha, tears in her eyes, urges Jughead to escape from Riverdale (where nobody can leave) by using his portal powers, because as D-Day approaches, so does his death. Jughead solemnly says that he is not going to leave Tabitha (first and foremost). I don’t think his resurrection was voluntary, because Cheryl just forced it on him, but he’s reframed it to be something he did for a purpose that is meaningful to him: To do what he can to stave off the apocalypse, partially, but to stay with Tabitha so she doesn’t have to face whatever is coming without him.

The courtly gesture of Jughead kissing Tabitha’s hand as she weeps over his inevitable doom, that he himself has fully accepted, was very moving.

Meanwhile, Percival mutters Latin over a collection of big creepy dolls. One of them looks sewn together like Frankenstein’s monster.

Reggie is day drinking (beer) with Archie at Archie’s house, asking what the plan is. Archie wants to take the battle to the forest, and he lays out his plan - Cheryl is in charge of fighting with magic, Jughead is in charge of fighting with telepathy, and everyone else just um, fights. When Archie goes to get him another beer, something turns in Reggie and Bingo the unkillable magic dog starts growling.

Betty doesn’t want to see Polly right now, saying she wants to be alone, when she hears an intruder in her house.

Veronica is day drinking (absinthe) at her apartment with the lovely Kandinsky when her abuelita comes knocking.

Heather and Cheryl are at the main sitting room in Thornhill which is always dark, with lots of red candles lit. Just as Heather is about to tell Cheryl something important about Bailey’s Comet, Jason comes in calling for Cheryl in a creepily sing-song way. They call each other Cher-Cher and Jay-Jay.

Heather can tell something is wrong immediately, but Cheryl is highly manipulable by Jason- when he bursts out with WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO MEAN TO ME, she tries to appease him. Jason shoots an arrow right at Heather!

Even when pierced by an arrow, Heather has the presence of mind to tell that she wasn’t the actual target, urging Cheryl to run for it. Jason shoots the Cheryl Fox-head self portrait right in the center of its chest as Cheryl escapes.

Reggie continues to get the BEST LINES this season (“Are you a wizard?” being one).

“You know what Bro?” - STAB!!! - “You’re not that smart.”

From one himbo to another, oh my! The deadpan delivery of this made me cackle with joy. And this unleashed the most deranged and exciting few minutes of Riverdale EVER.

Betty sneaks down to her living room to see a big half naked man rummaging through her kitchen drawers, clearly looking for a weapon.

I LOVE BETTY ACTION HERO SO MUCH YOU GUYS! I can’t even begin to tell you.

You know how Cheryl screamed when Jason shot the arrow at her? That’s a typical Cheryl reaction. As a woman who screams at that same high pitch at every upset, I identify with Cheryl, but I admire Betty a lot more. Betty never screams or goes into denial at moments like this. She always makes the correct decisions when faced with mortal danger - accepts the danger, accepts the reality of the situation, scans the room for the best available weapon, retrieves said weapon and forms a plan around it which she then enacts with very little hesitation. She COULD have run out the door, but she decides not to. She’s gonna fucking DEAL with it.

I LOVE THIS about her.

In this instance, she uses her standby weapon - the poker at the fireplace. She takes advantage of the element of surprise. The thing is, the man turns out to be a revivified Glen, who also found the chainsaw equivalent - an electrified meat carver. When he turned it on to lurch at Betty I was HOOTING because this was clearly Chekhov’s chainsaw being introduced. Also, was Glen always so immensely muscular? Hot damn. Death looks very good on him.

Can we talk about though how perfect Betty’s kitchen is? A low vase of hydrangeas on the kitchen island, bowls of fruit hanging above the window, the ropes of garlic on the cabinet side.

Back at Veronica’s Abuelita Lodge gets the MOST DELICIOUS moment. She gets to make like Tony Montana, points a giant gun at Veronica, and have a SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND scene! “I wanted this to be a surprise!!” she says, in her sweet grandmotherly voice, before blowing Veronica’s door off its hinges as Veronica scampers away like a hunted deer.

Friends, I got HIGH from watching that elegant little lady wielding this enormous gun with grim determination and a joyful smirk on her face! Can we have more scenes like this in everything, where the short old woman shoots the shit out of things? I WANT THIS.

Archie is being stabbed by Reggie, Betty is being attacked by an angry ex boyfriend and Veronica is being shot at by her grandmother and we cut to the perfect peace at Tabitha’s place.

In their beautifully appointed little apartment, Jughead has persuaded Tabitha to partake of his sandwich. (The cream cheese, tomato and lettuce on white bread. This bothers me a lot, the meagerness.) Then Tabitha looks ill at ease before gifting yet another wonderful thing to Jughead Jones. For once, he’s not the person saying the strange thing.

“My sense of the divine is tingling!” Tabitha cries, before running towards the problem.

Betty beats the shit out of the giant zombie Glen by using all her wiles and upper body strength. After Glen is incapacitated, Betty goes right to the garage to get the CHAINSAW. The zombie breaks through the door but Betty just continues to rev up the engine. She even says a fun quip - COME GET SOME - before charging at him with it.

OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

Meanwhile, Abuelita Lodge is doing a thing that Freud was too stupid and misogynist to theorize about. When the daughter with an Elektra complex succeeds in defeating her father, what does the mother of that father think about the situation?

“You’re gonna burn in hell for everything that you’ve done!” says Abuelita Lodge. Veronica hides in her black bathtub. I did not know that Veronica could slime things! She’s paralyzed her grandmother somewhat, as she explains, climbing out.

Instead of moving OUT of the house, Archie has ended up somehow in his bedroom with the very resolutely homicidal Reggie. The stabbing looks very painful. The wrestling they do as Reggie keeps stabbing Archie looks very homoerotic. Is it simply because he’s super fit that Reggie is so difficult for Archie to overpower? They even collapse away from each other once Reggie is unconscious in an overtly homoereotic way.

At Thornhill, it is revealed that Jason has a sadistic side. He’s hunting down his sister, armed with bow and arrow, calling out “Marco” as she keeps hiding from him. Even though the blocking shows Jason that shooting at Cheryl is shooting at himself (She’s hiding behind a big mirror) he refuses to desist. Cheryl, drenched in tears, is forced to admit that she shouldn’t have brought him back to life. Then she sets Jason on fire.

Tabitha rushes in on Archie (he was the ‘soul’ that was dying) along with Bingo (where’s he been all this time?) as he lays dying on the floor of his bedroom, bleeding out. Bingo starts licking at Archie’s bloody wounds in a way that grossed me out. It made me yell “GET THE DOG OFF HIM” at Tabitha before the cut.

Veronica’s toxin, while toxic, apparently also counteracts evil mind control, because her Abuelita is back to being a loving grandmother again.

Polly comes to check in on Betty. Betty has the bloody chainsaw laid out on the dining room table in front of her, along with a half emptied bottle of whisky. She calls Glen ‘her old boss’ rather than ‘my ex boyfriend’ when explaining what she went through. Calmly, she says “his body parts are twitching in the garage.”

Cheryl, bouncing back, apologizes to Heather, who forgives her, and then they remember they had something important to talk about with each other.

At the Andrews House, Archie’s abs are looking perfect and fabulous. He doesn’t even have any scarring. Tabitha says that Bingo’s saliva ‘CLEARLY’ has healing properties. I’m still grossed out by this. Reggie is back to his senses, and apologizes, in the same flat tone (“I’m so sorry Bro”) as he used when he was calling Archie stupid.

In comes Toni saying that she has a plan. Seated around the table, Toni says an exceptionally clunky “Serpent saying.” Seriously. Serpents really lacked wit.

“Always kill a baby snake in its egg so it doesn’t grow up to bite you.”

This so shit. I mean, Bob Marley quoted a saying that is a thousand times better than this (“Kill it before it grow” - from I Shot the Sheriff).

Reggie thinks it’s a terrible saying too. He gives Toni the most appalled look. When Tabitha takes over to say, as though this is a natural sequence of thoughts, “The only threat to someone who is immortal is someone who is also immortal,” Reggie gives HER a look of great skepticism. I am so with Reggie in this moment.

Then it gets worse and Toni loses me as a supporter forever. She really is a Serpent in the FP / Tall Boy mould. She’s willing to use child soldiers in the way that FP used the teenaged Joaquin to be a honey pot and assassin. She talks about ‘missing out’ on her son’s childhood as a sacrifice that SHE has to make, without questioning the issues of what it would mean for Anthony to go through aging in the magic way.

“That’s some Looper level CRAP,” says Reggie.

Reggie Mantle, true MVP of this episode.

So. Tabitha ages up Anthony with his shitty parents’ permission. In the same way I feel no desire to see Alice, Tom Keller or Uncle Fucking Frank ever again, I cannot find it in myself to feel anything other than disapproval for what’s been done to Anthony. The fact that the aged up Anthony looks older than Fangs - WHO TOUCHES HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME now that he doesn’t have to change his diaper or feed him - is just the icing on the shit cake. The fact that Anthony looks eager to “kick Percival’s ass” does not alleviate my discomfort.

At the Whyte Wyrm, Fangs is holding court. Kevin is there in a leather jacket that I want Cheryl to set fire to because wtf. Serpents are going to invade the Ghoulies.

Jughead is in the news room at the school with Tabitha (who is having Pop’s take out because she was not nourished by Jughead’s fail sandwich). He talks about Serpents like HE WASN’T ONE OF THEM. AS THEIR LEADER. (And I am going to say - I MISS SWEET PEA. Fangs just is not cutting it for me as Serpent King. Just, the worst possible choice.)

As they wait to see if the Serpent invasion opens the path to a different conclusion, Jughead Jones tells Tabitha to not mourn him when he dies. Jughead Jones says he’s lived a wonderful life, which boils down to: 1) He’s gotten to fall in love (I would specify - more than once, and in different types of love too, which is great) and 2) he got to publish a book (i.e. realize a long held childhood dream) and 3) got to experience alternate universes (had special experiences).

I love Jughead Jones for the dignity of moments like this, where he just says the minimal thing that he really needs to say.

This last utterance gives Tabitha a sudden idea. All her We Lose scenarios happened in RiverDALE but now that they have access to RiverVALE they can try something different!

Meanwhile, Cheryl tells Archie that the calculations for the comet were wrong, giving their side a little more time.

The Serpent invasion of the new Ghoulie lair occurs. This is very unexciting but for the fact that Percival cruelly tells Twyla to her face that he considers her and all her found family to simply be cannon fodder, and for the fact that for the first time ever, Toni actually does vicious violence. She lodges the blades of throwing stars right in Twyla’s skull.

When confronted with the aged up Anthony, Percival apparates out of the room wholesale, buck naked.

Archie tells the assembled group that while the Serpents did manage to overpower the Ghoulies, they’re trapped in there because Percival sealed them in with magic and they haven’t found the heads yet. Percival is on the loose, which is bad news, and Kevin has been shot, which oh yeah that happened, but I don’t care.

Just in time, Jughead and Tabitha arrive back from Rivervale with a plan. The plan is to rebuild the Diner in its original location. They used the magic time bubble to achieve this, and Reggie continues to be MVP (“Even in hyper speed moving blows.”). Percival shows up on time to engage in hand to hand combat with Archie while the three women and Reggie, in matching black jackets, watch from inside the reconstructed diner. Using breath holding magic the others join in at the last minute, which almost defeats Percival. Except Percival summons magic fog that poisons Veronica, blinds Betty, freeze Cheryl and turns Reggie into a “lifesize dummy” (Jughead really does not like Reggie at all) and Archie into a ‘statue’ (I would say- a block head, because I dislike Archie lol).

Jughead was inside the diner all this time, in his mind reader outfit, with the ghosts. Percival swaggers in, to meet Jughead’s challenge. Jughead offers to be lobotomized unless he can save Riverdale’s soul.

Jughead goes into Percival’s mind but finds the door impenetrable. Percival manages to unlock Jughead’s door, which looks different from before. Percival begins ‘shredding’ Jughead’s memories. Kissing Tabitha. Signing his name to the projection booth of the outdoor movie theater before his father demolished it on Hiram’s behalf. Talking to Archie at the football game when they made up after their fight.

The plan was for the RiverDALE folks to take the major hit, and for the RiverVALE people to take over, once Jughead tricked Percival into walking through the portal he’d opened up into RiverVALE. Percy’s body has been viciously stabbed while he was enjoying ripping up Jughead’s mind. I’m wondering how it is that the RiverVALE people aren’t all spattered with blood, because Percival is perforated all over.

Jughead and Tabitha’s combined powers (I guess?) allow them to open a portal to a different time as well as place, depositing the now mortal Percival at the feet of the devil, who has a contract with no escape clauses.

Percival says, ‘If I can’t have Riverdale, no one can!’ which earns an eye roll from Tabitha.

Tabitha, the angel, says to Cypher, the devil, to take Percival, the sorcerer, ‘the hell’ out of wherever they are (the Ye Olde Forests of Rivervale). Nobody pays attention to Percival’s muttering in Latin as he’s taken to hell.

Tabitha and Jughead make their way back to the Riverdale diner where everyone else meets them in the parking lot. I just um, really like Jughead in the white tie. “We did it, we beat him!” says Tabitha. Jughead picks Tabitha up and spins her around while everyone celebrates while laughing and hugging. I haven’t seen any of these very pretty people laughing or even smiling very much in recent episodes that it came as a surprise how very attractive they all are when they smile! :D

The Gang go back to the casino, where Dr. Curdle Jr .looks so forlorn with his smudged eye makeup. Kevin who got shot is being tended to by Moose (who looks wonderful with the beard), and Toni, looking inappropriately cheerful, brings out the boxes of heads (!!!) from the freezer. Riverdale is the most unhinged show. Curdle reattaches the heads to the corpses WHILE STILL in his Ghoulies-issued jacket (but with a surgical cap on). I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Cheryl brings everyone back to life, but after this extremely long day she’s had, she comes home to be told by Heather that something is very wrong about the comet.

Jughead asks Tabitha how come he didn’t die. They both look shellshocked. Tabitha speculates that since all her scenarios of the future involved only Riverdale and the prime universe, their involving RiverVALE into the mix changed things. “I guess we’ll never know,” is how Jughead reconciles this. He’s now going to have to figure out how to live, isn’t he? He didn’t plan for this. He thought he was going to be kicked back up to heaven.

At the Cooper house Alice Cooper is cuddling her two daughters. At Toni and Fang’s, Tom Keller is sitting on the sofa looking very somber. He died, went wherever (would he have gone to heaven??), came back to life, to find that his son had been shot and his grandchlid that isn’t his (?!?!) is now a full fledged adult from magic. Moose and Fangs and Kevin are in the same space and Toni is sitting there going, What Am I Doing With My Life, I’m sure.

Veronica is cleaning up her apartment with her doorman and her grandma. Archie and Uncle Frank are sitting on the porch drinking beer and I really think, truly, all these scenarios are SHIT.

The only people who make me happy are Jabitha and Cheryl with Heather (Cheather? Heryl?)

Heather and Cheryl show up at Archie in outfits that have the same pink shades. Heather is really growing on me. Cheryl is so much more stable and calm with Heather around. Cheryl orders him to rally the troops, and they all show up to the Andrews house.

Cheryl says that the comet is headed straight FOR Riverdale, to crash into them, in 24 hours. Tabitha figures out that the destruction was because of a comet. She’s wearing very excellent pants, but everyone is duly concerned. It’s going to be an EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT.

I love this show so, so much. If you’re going to do this alternate-universe-time-travel-magic mashup, then you HAVE TO have a comet that crashes into earth, right on top of YOUR town.

#riverdale season 6 #riverdale opinion #riverdale 6.21 #riverdale 116 #Riverdale s6 #riverdale recap #riverdale episode recap

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alaffy · 2 years

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Riverdale, 6x11 - Angels in America (Spoilers)

Interesting, I'll give it that. So, Tabitha is shot, and due to the trauma, she became a time traveler. From there, the episode can be split into three parts. First, it gives Tabitha her own storyline (or refocuses her storyline as her mission for the diner seemed to go away in season 5) and it gives us more insight as to why Pop's diner is so important. Beyond it being run by Pop's. We all love Pop's. Second, it certainly advances the plot of the season. Third, it serves as a way to give Americans insight into their own damn history.

Let's deal with the third part first. I will say I was uneasy about Tabitha time traveling because Riverdale's history with sensitive issues.....But, I think tonight's episode did better then I expected. I think by taking these three points in time and just pointing out the laws and excuses that were made so white people could, let's face it, attack Black Communities....to say this is the shit that happened (and still does happen); I think they did a decent job of it for the most part. The one issue I have is that...I understand that they had to have someone ask questions like "what does 88 mean?" because so many people wouldn't know. However, I wish they had found a way to have someone besides Tabitha to say it. Like they could have had Keller ask the question. I think those moments irked me, as I have a feeling that Tabitha would already know this. Also, did we really have to Dr. Who the death of Martin Luther King?

OF course, the other part is the whole...ok, even this can be broken up into two parts. Percival is going to bring the railroad through the heart of Riverdale, but that means Pop's will be destroyed. First, Tabitha tells Percival she won’t sell the dinner. Percival tries to use his mind trick on her, but she’s immune. Then, Tabitha turns to her friends, but everyone says they can't help. That is until Jughead answers something only Tabitha thought and Tabitha calls him out on it. Busted. So, Jughead gives Tabitha the rundown of the past few episodes and then they decide to see if they can have Pop's declared a historical site (given it's history, it should all ready be one). However, Kevin (who has gone full on lackey at this point) informs Percival and Percival decides to take Tabitha out. Tabitha is shot and, while her body is apparently in Riverdale General, her spirit (I guess) goes back in time. And just like Quantum Leap, she hops in and out of people, solving problems hoping her next leap will...ahem.

Here's the thing, everywhere she leaps Percival is there. Also there is her guardian Angel Raphael (Rivervale flashback #1). Raphael explains to Tabitha how she ended up in the past and that she has a mission, but doesn't really explain to her more then that. Except that she needs to find her tether/anchor (kind of like what Jughead said last episode). Also, Raphael looks like Jughead, Toni, and then Betty in the three jumps. Of course, Tabitha is no fool and realizes something's strange about Percival being everywhere. Finally, in 1999, she is able to break into his antique shop (that he runs) and discovers several things. Like he happens to have a picture of General Pickens and his uniform. Oh, and he also has the Spear of Longinus and the Holy Grail. Percival appears, suddenly, in the Civil War uniform, declares himself to be Legion (as we flash on the Devil Face from Rivervale), and tries to kill Tabitha. However, Tabitha learned how to fence in college (any other show I'd make fun of this, but this is probably the most realistic thing anyone in this show ever did in college). She is able to fight him off and burn down the shop. However, she does save the Holy Grail. And as she drinks a milkshake from the Grail (....ok); she realizes that Pop's is her anchor (really. No. How Shocking.).

She returns back to Riverdale present just in time to stop being shot (which also should basically create a paradox). And she tells Jughead what happens. And then she tells the whole super powered group what happens. Oh, and that she also managed to travel to the future and if they don't stop Percival, they Apocalypse might just happen.

So, here's what I found interesting about this. After Sabrina was cancelled, it was mentioned that there were plans for a crossover between the two shows and now, with the confirmation Sabrina will come back, I'm wondering if that's what we're seeing here. Sabrina had quite a bit of religious text to it. The Spear of Longinus was even used to take down a powerful character. If, and this is a big if, if they are planning on doing a crossover (if they're really trying to finally connect the shows into the same universe), it actually does make some sense that Riverdale might be part of a battle between good and evil. In Sabrina, the mythology is that when Lucifer was cast out of Heaven and he fell to Earth, he landed...he landed in Pangea, but once the Continents broke apart and shifted, that part of Pangea would be in the United States; specifically near Greendale. In fact, the Gateway to Hell is in the mines of Greendale. I mean, it really is late in the game to connect the shows this way (if that's what they're doing), but if Chilling Adventures of Sabrina has always existed in the same universe....I don't know. It will be interesting to see if that's where they're going.

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers #chilling adventures of sabrina #tabitha tate #pop tate #jughead jones #percival pickens #betty cooper #archie andrews #cheryl blossom #veronica lodge

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st4r-c0d3 · 3 years

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unpopular opinion that idk if anyone has ever even had an opinion on in the first place-

i think Riverdale would have been better as a musical

i just think them singing about this shit would be fantastic

plus it has to much protentional tbh

just imagine at as a fucking musical

if it was a musical not only would it be eye-catching enough for people to realize its actually entertaining

but it would probably have a way more organized fucking plot

bc people who make musicals know that you cant make a shitty musical and expect it to have any good consequences

plus Cheryl and Toni being gay and singing together would be fantastic

and yes i came up with this just bc i had a thought that Cheryl and Toni being gay together and singing would just be the reason i dont kill myself

#anyways-#yes #Cheryl and Toni singing together would be fantastic #plus this shit has to much drama/is to dramatic for it to not be a musical #like each episode has an entirely different fucking plot #the show is a train wreck #but i enjoy it cause its stupid and honestly just a shit show #its one of those things you cant explain why you like just bc you know its stupid as fuck and its weird that ANYONE would like it #anyways #ALSO KEVIN KELLER #HOLY SHIT KEVIN KELLER #IM SORRY KEVIN AND MOOSE???#THIS ENTIRE RIVERDALE THING COULD JUST BE A GAY/SAPPHIC LOVE STORY #LIKE WHAT THE SHIT IM JUST NOW REALIZING THIS #KEVIN MOTHER FUCKING KELLER #I JUST WANT KEVIN TO BE HAPPY #IF YOU DONT WANT KEVIN TO BE HAPPY YOU SUCK ASS #LIKE WHAT THE FUCK #KEVIN AND TONI DESERVE HAPPINESS #CHERYL IS FULL OF BULLSHIT BUT I FUCKING LOVE HER #now that i think about it i probably kin Cheryl #that makes so much sense now-#wait can you kin a character that isnt animated/in a book series-#cause my friend group is reading the false prince (i finished the first book today and 10/10 recommend)#and my friend Stella called me a fucking Sage kinnie #and im just??#like??#idk how to take it #hes like one of the kins i will never tell anyone about #more like the kins i talk about but if you ask me ill refuse it

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lilxberry · 3 years

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‘Evil’ Step-mom - Kevin/Tom Keller (Platonic/Romantic)

Requested by: @thanossexual

Hi! So if you decide to write for Riverdale parents could I perhaps request Tom Keller x Reader, Platonic! Kevin Keller x Reader , where Y/n is in her thirties and is engaged to Tom and Kevin's friends come over to cheer him up when they find out cause they think that he's mad or sad but he's actually getting along with the reader and gossiping with her about boys and teenage drama and their reaction is just priceless when Kevin tells them that he's basically on best friend terms with Y/n. 😎

Ofc feel free to ignore this request if you don't like it!

I LOVED this request so of course I wasn’t gone ignore. With this, I mainly focused on giving a little detail between Kevin and readers’ relationship and how the girls had assumed that Kevin would be upset with Tom and readers’ engagement.

I do plan on making a part two, where I would focus more on Tom and reader, maybe a slightly prequel about the night they had gotten engaged or the aftermath of their engagement. Maybe a lil’ conflict between whatever Josie’ mom name is and the reader. (I lowkey don’t care. She is just as irrelevant to me as she is hot lmao). Maybe because she’s jealous or something, I dunno, I’m brainstorming rn.

Anyways, I’ve waffled on long enough so I hope you enjoy.

Warnings: None really, just humour tbh. I’m shocked too.

Words: 777

Pairings: Kevin Keller x reader (Platonic) (Female Reader). Mentions Tom Keller x reader (Romantic)

_______________

Kevin’ morning had been a…confusing one at that. At soon as he walked through those doors to enter the school, the girls had flanked him and offered him their ‘condolences’, even Cheryl. His raised eyebrow and utter confused expression were definitely comical and just so him.

They had refused to bring whatever was supposedly upset him up or give some form of explanation to the young man, leaving him with little to no answers and a sore neck from all the shaking he has done through the day.

This continued until, finally, the bell to signify the end of last period sounded, giving the student body the freedom, they had craved all day.

Kevin had no desire to rush, wanting to take his time to put whatever textbooks into his locker and collect whatever he may need until tomorrow. But the girls had other plans. As soon as Kevin had passed the door exiting the class, he was flanked. Veronica on his right, Betty to his left.

“C’mon Kev, we’ve got some shakes to sip at Pop’s,” stated Veronica, clearly showing that he had no say in whatever they had planned. “Cheryl and Toni are going to meet us there.”

Kevin sighed deeply through his nose as he rolled his eyes before offering both of his arms to the girls which they quickly linked with their own. “Fine, but I need to get something from my locker.”

“Come on then, we don’t have all day,” Betty remarked playfully, eliciting a collective chuckle from the trio as they began to walk down the hallway and towards Kevin’ locker.

_______________

Being sat with the girls at Pop’s really hadn’t given Kevin any clarity on why they were acting so weird. Weirder that what would be considered standard rate in Riverdale, at least.

“As much as I’ve loved the attention from my girls, truly, can someone please tell me why you’re all acting strange?”

Toni, Veronica and Betty had all simultaneously decided to take another sip from their milkshakes as they adverted their gaze. Cheryl had looked towards each of her female companions before sighing exaggeratedly and turning her attention towards Kevin who sat opposite to her.

“I don’t understand why you would want to bring it up and not just accept how great friends we are being right now. I mean, the amount of support we’re showing you at this terrible time is impeccable,” the red head spoke, slightly trailing from the point.

Kevin gave her a blank stare, waiting for her to finally spill what was going on. She sighed once more before speaking again. “We are simply trying to help you through the terrible news of your father proposing to Y/N.”

Kevin’ eyebrows furrowed; face scrunched up into confusion. Why was that terrible news? He greatly liked Y/N, he loved that she was now finally going to join the family officially. He was even the one to push his father to propose. Hell, he was even there when he had done so.

Shaking his head, he stuttered slightly as he spoke. “I-I don’t understand. Why is that bad?”

All heads at the table had snapped to look at him, all held a look of utter shock, as if he what he had said were incredulous.

“I thought it was gonna be an evil step-mother situation, honestly. We all did.” Toni was the first to break the silence, voicing what everyone had clearly thought was his feelings about you.

Kevin shook his head, a smile now forming on his lips. “No, I love Y/N. She’s awesome and she makes my dad happy, which makes me happy. Plus, we gossip all the time. Half of the drama I’ve know has been because she constantly texts me.”

Veronica smiled at Kevin as she rested her hand upon his arm in a friendly manner. “I’m sorry we got it so wrong. I’m glad, we’re glad, that you love her so much.”

“Yeah. We should have asked. We’re all sorry.” Betty gave him as side hug which he had happily returned.

“It’s fine. But yeah. Maybe ask next time.” They all shared a small laugh, resuming the chit chatting from before, taking sips from their shakes once more.

Quickly finishing off his drink, he looked towards the girls before speaking up. “I should get going, me and Y/N kinda have a movie night planned.”

“And you didn’t invite moi?!” Veronica feigned insult with an overdramatised gasp and hand over her chest. “Have fun, Kev.”

After more farewells from the rest of the girls, Kevin hastily left the diner, on his way to spend time with his favourite gossip guru and soon-to-be step-mom.

_______________

Honestly, can we appreciate how quickly I have gotten these last two fics out because holy shit lmao

I really did have fun writing this and hope I can create a good part 2 where I focus on the relationship between Tom and reader

Anywho, I hope you enjoy

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

#kevin keller #kevin keller x #kevin keller x reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #x fem reader #x step mom!reader #tom keller #tom keller x #tom keller x reader #sheriff keller #sheriff keller x #sheriff keller x reader #riverdale #riverdale fic #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale x reader #riverdale fluff

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scorpionwins · 2 years

Note

can i have #11 from the fluffy prompt thingy? hit me with whatever you have in mind <3

Ty so much bestie!! I've decided to go with Joaquin and Kevin because they'd be a very interesting ship in season 5 I think :>> hope you'll like it!!

Prompt: “Let’s go, I’ll buy you dinner. And maybe breakfast.”

﹌♡﹌

Joaquin is alive and breathing and feels like he's dying, still.

Everyday feels like a cold blade's kiss pinching at his neck, a slow drawl, a cruel game of waiting, taunting, pulling at a noose up and down to feed burning lungs just to starve them again.

All because a boy. Man, now.

He looks at Kevin and Fangs, snuggled up, sickenely intimiate, sweet newly weds consumating eachother's presence like the tastestiest desert, and thinks, I didn't cheat death. The coffin just got bigger.

Traitor, he thinks, petty and venomous, watching the engagement ring glint on Fangs' finger. Right after a thunder of guilt strikes him, but not enough to smite his anger, not enough to take it back.

But this is Riverdale, the landmark of deception and blurry truth, where nothing is what it seems. Fathers can be murderers, holy children have devil horns, and snakes love like saints. A happy marriage isn't an exception.

Kevin was always big, he knew, intimately so, even disguised under baggy sweaters and jackets, but now he's not quite that shy. No one can really be, in uniform.

" How long has that been going on?"

Toni is slippery; Always was, always will be. They all are, in their own way, structured to escape tight spaces and narrow options. With bellies or not at all.

She sees through him, and he lets her. " Two years after Tom retired, " she refills his glass gracefully, not a drop outside the glass. " Town needed protection. Kevin stepped up. Heard he got a shot at Broadway but missed."

Of course. One fatal flaw of Kevin's, and the list is short, as far as Joaquin is concerned, is that he gives up too easily. Manipulated by his own insecurities, treating one failure as a lifetime of pain. But that's not what he asked.

Fangs steps away, joining Sweet Pea for a pool game, and Joaquin ignores his wave. Kevin is alone now, nursing on some whiskey, bothered by no one and no one bothering with him.

He sees a shot. He won't miss.

Years of friendship make your face a map for some people. Toni pauses, observes a wondering eye drinking in the sight of a wolf left unprotected. " You know, homewrecking isn't really your style. "

"Maybe not," Joaquin smirks, slaps cash on the counter, drink long abandoned. " But I'll crash the fuck out of an apartment. "

He's so damn beautiful.

A well groomed, trimmed beard frames Kevin's features nicely, texturing it with maturity and shattering handsomness he always carried, but saturating it so it's impossible to ignore.

He looks exactly like the movie stars Joaquin always thought were too good to be realistic. Well here he stands, eating shit by the spoonful.

" Joaquin." it sounds right, his name, coming from that man's mouth, as stiff as it is. He doubts Fangs notices the difference between cold politeness and clean affection, but not Joaquin. He learned Kevin too well.

" Sheriff Keller, " Joaquin invites himself next to him, leaning closer than he needs to, close enough to sweat under the heat pulsing past Kevin's body. " Busy night at the office?"

" I don't disclose information with civilians. Especially not ex cons. " Joaquin would get behind this gritty, no-nonsense, marble voiced stand off any other day, but not when it's aimed at him.

" Oh, right. Forgot you were the lawman of this place now. Would buying you a drink get me arrested? A long night of interrogation perhaps?"

" Of all the things you did and probably done, failing to buy someone a drink isn't one of them," Kevin's eyebrows can stay stiff all they want, but Joaquin doesn't miss the tug of lips. He's getting through him. " Of course, I assume you're familiar with handcuffs."

Well, shit. He's getting through me.

" Not your handcuffs."

" Give it some time. Knowing you, it won't be long. "

" I think your law just needs some loosening up."

" Law's harsh but it's the law, " no room for argument, confident, but serious enough that Joaquin's belly tightens with discomfort. " And while you're in my town you play by my rules. Follow that and we won't have a problem."

Then, he smiles, a nasty, close to cutting little thing. " I think it's pretty established I'm good on that. Does that apply for Fangs, or does he get privileges?"

Cold green eyes squint, distaste and surprise all in one blink, as if only now he remembered he had a ring on his finger. But that's all it was. A loop of gold, hollow and chintzy.

" Come on, " Joaquin is pleading in the open, pawing at the dog door, but he's already neck deep in whatever this is. Why not go down trying. Why not go down fighting. " I'll buy you dinner," then, suggestively, past the point of friendliness, too hot to be standoffish. " And maybe breakfast. "

He watches for a twitch, for a flinch, for any visual indication Kevin is at least considering it, but all he gets is a stare, a huff of amusement, and a glass pointed his way. " Have a good night, Mr. DeSantos."

Fuck Kevin Keller, Joaquin decides. Fuck him and his hot as hell hat tipping goodbye system.

" I'm gonna marry that guy, man." He tells the bartender, unimpressed by all this, rolling hazel eyes dramatically.

" Go for it. Everyone in this town is already so goddam weird."

#asks #riverdale #joaquin desantos #kevin keller #au #prompts #writing #toni topaz #sweet pea #southside serpents #this was so much fun!!

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bireggiemantle · 2 years

Text

starting to do some writing for the beronica jennifer's body au so for anybody who's interested, here's the scene where Veronica finds Betty waiting for her in her bedroom, and Betty reveals her backstory to her. (cw in tags)

Veronica switches on the lights, exhausted and ready to collapse, but she's jolted awake by the sight before her.

Betty is sitting at the head of her bed, her back propped up against Veronica's pillows. She looks bored, sighing as she scrolls through her phone.

"Betty?" Veronica asks. "How did you get in here; We have a security system in place."

Betty glances over her phone and smiles.

"Good, you're here. I was waiting for a long time. Hope you don't mind, but I took a shower while you were gone."

Betty motions for Veronica to come closer. Veronica obliges, although she's careful not to get too close.

"Is that my shirt?"

Betty ignores her, instead gesturing for Veronica to take a seat beside her. "C'mon, V. I won't bite."

Veronica holds her breath as she sits on the bed. She's still not as close as Betty asked her to be, but she's as close as she's gonna get.

"I wanted to tell you something." Betty says. "But it might be better if I show you."

"What do you mean by- Oh. Oh, God."

Betty opens her mouth, normally at first, but it isn't long before her teeth are elongating into sharp points and her jaw is stretching itself immeasurably far. She looks like a predator ready to strike, and Veronica is suddenly reminded of three sets of bite marks that seem to match up perfectly with these teeth.

"It was you? You killed Moose and Kevin? You killed Jughead?"

Betty closes her mouth and rolls her eyes. "It wasn't me. I didn't kill them."

"Then who the fuck did, Betty? Because all roads, and teeth, seem to lead to you."

Betty sighs, leaning further back against the pillows. She appears calm for the most part, but Veronica knows her well enough to sense the hint of frustration hiding underneath.

"The night of the concert, when the Twilight Drive-In burned down and I went with Low shoulder, something happened to me."

Betty reaches over to Veronica's vanity, grabbing her eyelash scissors from the nearest jar.

Veronica watches in awe as Betty raises the scissors over her head before jamming them into her thigh.

"Holy shit Betty, what the fuck? Are you okay?" Veronica gasps. She takes out her phone to dial 911, but Betty slaps it out of her hand.

"Just watch." she says, her voice as calm as ever as she removes the scissors and tosses them aside.

The deep gash in her leg starts to close by itself, new skin regrowing over the injury within seconds.

"Low Shoulder tried to sacrifice me that night. They took me to Sweetwater River and stabbed me in the heart. But I lived. And now I can do that."

Veronica places her hand over Betty's thigh, tracing the slashed denim of her jeans with her thumb. The pad of it brushes the skin underneath, collecting some leftover droplets of blood. But besides that, there's no indication that Betty was ever cut.

"That's insane, B. We have to tell someone. Sheriff Keller, the FBI, Area 51, somebody has to help us."

Betty shakes her head. "And what are we gonna tell them? That I died and somehow came back more fucked up than before?"

She leans in closer to Veronica, and for a brief moment her eyes flash yellow, her pupils narrowing into slits, and her gaze piercing through Veronica's soul.

Veronica jumps, pushing Betty away from her. "Get out." she says, trying to keep her voice stern, but unable to help the shake in her tone. "Get out of my room."

"Veronica. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Just like you didn't hurt Jughead, right?"

Betty scoffs. "That's a low blow, even for you."

She stands up and makes her way towards Veronica's window. "I'll see you later, V. It was nice catching up with you."

Betty slides the window open and climbs outside, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

Veronica rushes after her, placing her palms on the window sill to leverage herself as she leans outside and scans the neighborhood for Betty.

But Betty is nowhere to be found.

#uhhh im gonna tag this au as ->#betty check au #for the fun of it lmaoo #CW FOR GORE #CW FOR DEATH MENTIONS #CW FOR MILD BODY HORROR #CW FOR BLOOD #mine #fic #riverdale #betty cooper #veronica lodge #beronica

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years

Text

Betty//crush culture

Request: Can I request a Betty/Reader where Reader and Kevin are friends and reader tells him she has a crush on Betty and Kevin lets it slip about the crush, maybe Kevin tries to set them up?

hey! again, this is another thing i wrote a while ago! but don’t worry, this is the last one of those for a while! so yay! sorry if the style is a little different than usual. i still hope you like it though!

“So boys. Talk to me about them.” Kevin asks suddenly and you stare at him blankly across the lunch table.

“They’re idiots?” You shrug and he sighs dramatically, dropping his sandwich back on the wrapper.

“No.” He shakes his head. “Do you like any of them?”

“Nope.” You reply casually as you continue to eat, not even glancing at him.

“Come on. There’s got to be someone you like.” He says excitedly making you sigh and stop eating.

“There is.”

“So who is it?! Is it Arch-”

“Its not a boy, before you start.” You interrupt him and he stares at you, his eyes wider than before and his mouth slightly agape.

“A girl?”

“Newsflash Kevin Keller, this is the 21st century, not everybody likes boys.”

“Haha. So funny.” He says sarcastically and crosses his arms. “You never told me you liked girls.” He pouts.

“You never asked.”

“So, who is it?”

“Just some girl.” You reply, your gaze slipping from Kevin and to the blonde girl walking past your table.

“Hey Kev. Hey Y/n.” Veronica greets the two of you as she stops briefly by the side of your table. Betty stops just next to her and the two of you make eye contact for a few seconds before looking away. Kevin and Veronica make small conversation while you try to concentrate on eating and Betty looks around the lunch hall. The two of them finish their conversation and Veronica waves goodbye to the two of you before dragging Betty away to find Archie and Jughead.They sit opposite Jughead and Archie and they laugh loudly at something Archie has said making your lips curl into a smile.

“Y/n?” Kevin asks, tapping your arm and you turn to look at him quickly. Kevin’s eyes follow where you were looking, or more importantly who you were looking at and wide smile breaks out on his face. “Awww. You fancy Veronica.”

“What? No!” You say loudly. “I like Betty.” You mumble and he slaps your arm in shock.

“Ohhhhh. Betty Cooper. Yeah, I can see the two of you getting together, buying a house together, maybe get a few pets, getting married, having children, then dying together peacefully in each other’s arms.”

“Well, that took a dark turn, even for you.”

“What do you mean for me?” He asks offended and you send him a look.

“Do I need to remind you that you found a dead body in the woods and then tried to join a cult?”

“No thanks. I don’t need reminding.” He rolls his eyes. “Maybe I should have stayed at that damn farm, they were better friends, nicer. Even if they did harvest organs.” He replies crossing his arms making you chuckle.

“See, dark for you.”

“Shut up.” He huffs. “So. You and Cooper huh?” He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly and its your turn to roll your eyes at him.

“There’s no me and Cooper.” You reply, stabbing your fork into your food.

“Not with that angry attitude there isn’t.”

“Would you like to be in the foods position?” You ask and glare at him.

“Not particularly no.” He shrugs. “But, you and Cooper.”

“Kevin, I don’t care if you’re the ex sheriff’s son, I will put this fork through your eye.”

“No you won’t.” He replies. “Because then how would you and Cooper get together?”

“Right.” You stand up. “I’m leaving you now. I’ve got Chemistry homework that I’d rather do than listen to you go on an on about a non-existent, delusional relationship.”

“You could always do you homework with Betty. Bit of Chemistry, definitely some...biology.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you flip him off.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes before walking away.

“Okay!” Kevin shouts after you. “I’ll see you tonight?!”

“Yeah!” You reply. “I’ll be round at about 6.” You add annoyed and he smiles to himself before grabbing his food and bag and making his way over Betty’s table.

“Hey, guys!” He greets everyone and they all smile and wave at him.

“Where’s Y/n?” Betty asks quietly as she looks around the room.

“Oh, she got annoyed with me so she went to do some homework.” Kevin shrugs while sitting down beside her.

“Oh.” She replies and looks back at her food. If Kevin didn’t know any better, he’d think there was just a slight bit of disappointment in Betty’s tone at the fact that he’d come alone, instead of with you.

“So, what’s are you guys talking about?” He asks, turning his attention to the rest of the table. Everyone looks at each other, and then at Betty before smirks appear on their faces.

“Just crushes.” Veronica shrugs and Betty’s eyes widen.

“Ooooo, tell me everything.” Kevin leans in closer to the table, excited to hear gossip that he doesn’t already know.

“Be-” Archie starts but she quickly glares at him making him shut up.

“Elizabeth Cooper?!” Kevin asks dramatically. “Do you like someone?”

“No.” She says far too quickly for it to be true and his eyes widen with excitement.

“Oh, come on. Tell meeee.” He pleads. “I won’t tell anyone I promise. Y/n told me that she likes you and I haven’t told anyone.” He rambles quickly and everyone gasps.

“Y/n likes Betty!?” Veronica practically squeals and Kevin sighs.

“Shit.” He mumbles. “She’s going to kill me.”

“Holy shit.” Jughead laughs.

“She likes me?” Betty asks surprised and Kevin nods his head slowly, refusing to make eye contact. “Like, she like-likes me?” She asks again and he nods.

“But you didn’t hear that from me okay?”

“Our lips are sealed.” Veronica smirks.

“So who do you like Betty?” Kevin asks, trying to change the subject.

“There is no way I’m telling you after you’ve just told everyone who Y/n likes.”

“That wasn’t my fau-”

“She likes Y/n.” Jughead interrupts.

“No way!” Kevin shouts, gaining attention from a few students sat around their table. “You like Y/n?” He whispers.

“Yes, fine. I like her too. Whats the big deal?” Betty replies.

“Erm, the big deal is, you’ve just found out that the girl of your dreams likes you back and you’re still sat here when you could be asking her out and sealing your future together so you will get together, buy a house together, maybe get a few pets, get married, have children if you want and then die together peacefully in each other’s arms.”

“What?” She asks confused, the rest of their friends also staring at Kevin with confused and concerned looks on their face.

“Never mind that.” He shrugs off. “The point is. You like each other, now what are you still doing here?”

“Coming.” She squeaks.

“What?!” Everyone shouts.

“No, Y/n. She’s coming back.” She replies and they all let out a breath before looking behind Kevin.

“Shit.” Kevin mumbles. “She looks mad. Do you think she knows?” He asks.

“How would she know?” Archie replies.

“I dunno. She knows exactly what I’m feeling, sometimes even when I don’t know and she aways knows how to cheer me up. She’s very sensitive like that.” Kevin says to Betty and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Are you seriously trying to talk her up to me when she’s literally five steps away from us?”

“Mayb-”

“Hi guys!” You greet everyone happily. “Hi-hi, Betty.” You mumble nervously when you make eye contact with her and she blushes before looking at the table. The rest of your friends take the awkward opportunity to share a look with each other before they come up with a plan in their heads.

“What are you doing back? I thought you had Chemistry homework to do.” Kevin asks.

“Turns out I’d already finished it.” You shrug.

“Thats so responsible.” Betty mumbles in awe causing Veronica to choke on her drink.

“Are you okay?” You reach across Betty to pat Veronica on the back and her breath hitches as your arm brushes past her.

“Fine.” She chokes. “Just fine.” She reassures you and you smile at her while standing up properly. Betty’s heartbeat increases as she watches you smile and then laugh at something Jughead has said, and then everything feels a little too much. Because now that she knows you like her, and she likes you back, she has to do something about it because you don’t know that she likes you back and she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She’s never asked a girl out, she’s never asked anyone out. And what if you say no? What if Kevin heard you wrong. Or what if it was Betty Thompson? Or Betty Daniels? What then?

“Betty?” You ask, concern lacing your voice as you place a soft hand on her arm. “Are you okay? You zoned out.” You say and she looks around the table.

“I’m, err, fine.” She replies confused. “I’ve got to gay.” She stands up quickly almost knocking you over. “I mean go. I’ve got to go.” She corrects herself before hurrying out of the room.

“Is she okay?” You ask, sitting in her previous seat.

“Yeah.” Archie replies.

“She’s just found out some stuff about her crush.” Veronica says casually and your eyes widen.

“Betty likes someone?” You ask quickly.

“Yep.” Jughead says casually.

“Who!-who is it?” You ask, trying to act naturally but you’re entire body is on fire. Who does Betty like? Just tell me who she likes!?!?!

“Just some girl.” Archie says through a mouthful of food and you can hear everyone trying to suppress their giggles.

“Okay.” You cross your arms. “Whats going on?”

“We just said. Betty likes someone.” Jughead says.

“Hey, Y/n?” Veronica asks. “Do you like someone?”

“Kevin Keller I swear to god I’m going to kill you.” You threaten angrily. “What did you tell them?”

“Oh come on.” He says annoyed. “You guys promised you wouldn’t say anything.”

“Sorry Kevin. Its too funny.” Veronica apologizes.

“Collateral damage.” Jughead shrugs.

“Fine.” He sighs. “I may have told them all that you like Betty, including Betty.” He says making you smack his arm.

“You idot.”

“But, plus point. Betty likes you back! Yay, isn’t that great.” He tries and you glare at him.

“I suppose it is good, but you’re still dead Keller.” You reply and sit back in your seat. A few minutes pass and everyone makes small conversation around you until it hits you. “Wait!” You shout, standing up. “Fuck. She likes me back?! Betty actually likes me back.”

“Oh, we were wondering how long it would take you to realize.” Veronica replies, not looking up from her food.

“What do I do? Do I buy her flowers? What are her favourite flowers. Where does she stand with cats?”

“Just ask her out for God’s sake.” Jughead says annoyed.

“Yeah, obviously.” You reply. “Do you know where she is?”

“Outside her next class.” Archie replies.

“E-” Veronica starts but you interrupt.

“English, of course.” You shake your head and grab your stuff, rushing off again.

“Byeeee.” They call after you.

“Am I still seeing you at 6?” Kevin asks.

“What do you think?” You reply and he nods. “I’ll make it up to you!”

“Of course.” He mutters.

-----

“Betty!” You greet her, slightly out of breath as you lean against the wall.

“Y/n. Hey.” She says startled as she takes in your breathless form. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I er. I need to ask you something.” You say.

“I need to ask you something too.” She replies. “But, you can go first if you want.”

“No, no.” You shake your head. “Its okay. Go ahead.” You say nervously.

“Are you sure. Whatever it was seemed important.” She replies.

“Its fine. Really. Go ahead.” You smile at her a little and she returns it.

“Okay.” She takes a deep breath. “Do you want to-”

“Yes.” You interrupt and she stares at you. “Sorry.” You apologize quickly. “The answer is still yes though.” You whisper the last part making her smile.

“But you don’t know the rest of my question though.”

“Thats okay.” You shrug. “I think my question was the same as yours sooooo? Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Date...yeah, that was what I was going to ask you.” She trails off and looks at the floor.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” She smiles sincerely.

“So how about tonight? At Pop’s, about 6?”

“That sounds great.” She replies and the two of you smile brightly at each other before the warning bell for your next class rings and the two of you sigh.

“I’ll see you tonight.” You say and press a soft kiss to her cheek making the two of you blush brightly.

“See you.” She waves you off.

“Soooo?” Veronica asks once she appears by her side. “Did you as her to be your girlfriend.”

“Not exactly.” She replies. “She assumed date and I didn’t want to scare her off, so I just went with it.”

“Of course.” She laughs.

------

“Y/n!!” Kevin shouts down the corridor and you slow down so he can catch up with you. “Did you ask her to be your girlfriend?”

“No, she asked me on a date. I thought girlfriend would be a bit too strong at the minute.” You reply. “I’ll save that for after the date.”

“...useless.”

“What?”

“Nothing! I’m really proud of you! And now you’re one step closer to dying in each other’s arms!”

#betty cooper #betty cooper imagine #betty cooper x reader #betty cooper x you #betty cooper x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine #betty #betty imagine #betty x reade #betty x you

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littlebarchie07 · 3 years

Text

(and by surprise) you take me as I am

I have so many Barchie WIP but this one came out of nowhere. It’s complete AU. not even in the realm of Riverdale or the comics, I am just borrowing the characters because I love them.

Summary: Archie is a douchebag jock and makes a stupid bet at a house party involving little miss perfect girl next door.

The night starts out as most of their house parties do. It’s a Thursday. They are sitting in a circle, sipping lukewarm beer from red plastic cups that Fangs scored from his dad’s garage, and the rest of the alcohol is from Cheryl’s parents basement. Reggie and Moose are playing a dumb card game and Cheryl is texting Toni nonstop. Veronica is draped over his legs, and he doesn’t have the heart to shove her off, partly because she’s tracing her nails along the back of his neck and he really fucking loves that. Truth be told, he’s a little bored of her. She’s a good fuck, but she’s a little needy. Lately, there’s been something off about him as well and he can’t quite put his finger on it.

It started a few weeks ago. He’d been doing a few reps in his bedroom and when he stood up, his gaze drifted to the house next door as it often did, and like usual, they found Betty Cooper. She was sitting in the bay window, adjacent to his own. Her lips puckered and a confused frown etched into her brow. She looked pretty damn dorky but Archie couldn’t help but grin. She looked up and caught his eye and Archie like a dumbass just continued to stare at her. She fluttered her eyes at him and looked even more confused.

She gave him a tentative wave and Archie surprised himself, by waving back.

See him and Betty didn’t talk much anymore. They hadn’t since like 8th grade. He fell into the ‘cool’ crowd, with the people he now deemed his friends, the monkeys spread out around him laughing and joking at band geeks, nerds like Betty and weirdos like Jughead

It seemed so long ago that he, Betty and Jug would be climbing the treehouse in his backyard, playing stupid games with conkers and having sleepovers in his basement. It had only been four years, but it seemed like an eternity.

He missed those days and more so lately, he actually missed spending time with Betty. There was no judgement with her, no need to prove himself. He could simply just be Archie.

“Holy Fuck.” Reggie hollars which breaks Archie from his thoughts and catches his attention. He pushes Veronica’s legs aside and rolls his eyes as she huffs in disappointment.

He smacks Reggie. “What up Dawg?” He asks, eyes wandering the crowded scene in the direction Reggie is looking. There is a haze of smoke, roars of laughter but then his eyes settle on her. Blonde hair, ocean green eyes. If he had taken a sip of his beer, he’d definitely have choked on it. Standing metres away was none other than the perfect girl next door.

A slow lazy smirk grows on his face. “Oh hello.” Archie whispers, Reggie catches his eye.

“Nah man, I saw her first, dibs.”

Veronica scoffs. “You’re disgusting Reg. She's a class A nerd. No way would you even have a chance.” She pulls Archie to face her. “I’m going to get a refill, do you want anything Archiekins?” Her hand travels up his sleeve, clearly annoyed with the fact his focus is no longer on her. To be honest, it hadn’t been on her for awhile. He brushes her hand away, shaking his head and turning back to Reggie.

“You cannot call dibs. I wonder what the fuck she’s even doing here.” He muses to himself more than the group.

“I don’t care, I’m going to find out. I’d love to add Polly’s lil sister to my bed count.” Reggie smirks, downing his drink and attempting to stand. Archie grabs the back of his t-shirt, pulling him backwards a little more forcefully than intended. Something didn’t sit right with him at the way Reggie had said that.

The amount of alcohol Reggie had consumed, as well as the force of the pull caused him to stumble and topple over, the rest of the group roar with laughter as he seesaws backward. Archie’s eyes drift back over to the blonde who is now wide eyed and looking over at them. She’s still alone, but is now nursing one of Reggie’s cocktail punches. He wonders who she’s with.

He looks down to Reggie, and musters a fake enthused smile. “No you don’t mate. I got this one.”

Reggie groans, lying flat on his back. He blinks up at Archie. “Alright Andrews, but I wanna wager a bet here pal.”

Archie arches his brow. “A bet?”

Veronica hasn’t left her perch on the sofa yet, and Cheryl, Fangs and Moose are more involved in the conversation now. Moose oooh’s and Cheryl rubs her hands together.

“This sounds juicy.” She licks her ruby red lips.

“Yeah, I bet you $150 that you cannot get that square to kiss you tonight.” Reggie nods toward Betty, sitting up.

Archie lets out a laugh “Please. I bet you $250 I can get that girl to sleep with me.”

The minute the words are out of his mouth, Archie wants to take them back. He’s not this fucking guy. He doesn’t do this shit. So why on Earth had he said that?

Reggie wolf whistles. “Oh go on then, mate. You’ve got yourself a deal.” He holds his hand out, waiting for Archie to pull him up and shake on it.

Grabbing him, Archie hauls Reggie up and pats him on the back. A voice in the back of his mind screams at him to stop.

“Deal.”

When Archie turns back around, Betty is no longer standing by the table at the back of the room. His first challenge of the evening is to find her.

He makes his way to the punch table, scanning the crowd. He shoves a few chips into his mouth, still focused on finding where Betty would have scurried off to. He can just talk to her tonight. That’ll be enough to entertain the crowd. He ladles some of the fruit punch mixture into an empty red cup, and grabs an open bottle of vodka to top it up. Taking a sip, he lets his eyes roam around the room. He’s not entirely sure what the perfect girl next door is doing here, but he’s intrigued to find out.

“Where would you be, Little Miss Cooper?” Archie whispers, tapping his cup against his chin.

A light laugh catches his attention, and his eyes draw behind him. She’s sitting with her knees tightly pressed together, a black and white checkered skirt riding up her thighs. Archie’s eyes travel up her, and he wonders when her legs got so long. His eyes settle on her face; her eyes bright and a real smile is pulling against her cheeks. He brushes the warmth spreading through him off, and tugs at his shirt before his gaze shifts to her company, who is none other than Kevin Keller.

Archie low key rolls his eyes. Kevin is obviously here for Fangs. It’s clear those two are shagging. Archie wishes Fangs would just come out and admit it, rather than dragging this poor kid to these parties and having to pretend they’re not hooking up in the closet every 20 minutes. But tonight, Archie is grateful because Kevin has bought the most unlikely company.

Betty laughs again and the sound causes Archie’s stomach to knot. It’s a delicate sound and something Archie wouldn’t mind hearing again and again. He straightens up, pouring more vodka into his red cup before pushing himself through a few bodies. He flops down onto the couch, on the right side of Betty. She looks surprised and her face pales slightly as she shifts closer to Kevin.

“Sup?” He nods at Kevin before his eyes trail over Betty. He swears she flushes, and he watches her swallow nervously before looking wildly to Kevin who just smiles dumbly.

‘Oh fucking perfect.’ Archie thinks to himself as he spreads his legs a little and reaches his arm behind Betty on the back of the couch.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you at one of these parties before, aye neighbour?” Archie smiles warmly, his eyes boring into her ocean green. She is absolutely not interested. “Hey Keller, Fangs was looking for you earlier.” Archie says, taking a quick glance towards Kev whose entire face lights up. Betty’s eyes widen and she shakes her head a bit at Kevin, silently warning him not to leave her.

“I’ll be right back Betty, Promise.” He gets up and leaves. Archie almost laughs as Betty shifts more to the left, her hands neatly folded in her lap.

“You know he’s shagging Fangs right?” Archie says, raising his plastic cup to his lips. He watches as her gaze traces the path of the drink to his lips. “You want some?”

Betty shakes her head. “No thanks.”

Archie nods. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Betty shrugs. Her hair is down for once, and it looks nice, she brushes it over one shoulder. “Kevin said it would be fun to mingle. I asked him to define the word fun, because this to me looks like a hoe fest.”

Archie laughs. “Ain’t that the truth.” He watches as a small smile tugs at her lips and a light pink flushes her cheeks. He shifts closer. “You look really pretty with your hair down, Betts.” He says slowly, his finger picking up one of the soft curls. The Betts slips out and he can’t help but smile as she swallows

“Um, thanks?” She whispers meekly. Archie drops the curl from his fingers and smiles again.

“Come on, let me get you a drink. These parties aren’t fun until you’ve had at least a few punches.”

He watches as her brow furrows, he can see her weighing up the pros and cons, and he’s just about ready to try his next tactic but she surprises him.

“Okay, just one.”

Of course, the one turns into a few, and Archie decides he likes Betty Cooper more with her guard down. She is no longer uptight, and is babbling a mile a minute, laughing at every single joke he tells her, and to make it better, she’s pretty fucking handsy. Not in the way that Veronica is, but she keeps touching his arm when she laughs, and nudging his shoulder, or playfully kicking him. It’s cute. Almost as cute as the way her eyes darken and her cheeks flush as his hand lingers on the top of her thigh as he whispers something in her ear.

She hiccups a giggle, and Archie finally catches up with the voice that has been screaming at him all evening. This is not a good idea. That stupid bet weighs heavy on his mind. Betty is so close to him, and he can smell her floral shampoo and the sweet perfume she’s wearing. If she twisted her face, it would be so easy for him to kiss her, but he can’t. He’s not one to take advantage of a girl who has had at least 3 cocktail punches.

Betty isn’t trashed by any means, he knows that, she’s just loosened up a bit, so he wouldn’t exactly feel bad about kissing her because she knows exactly what she’s doing and the chances are, she would probably push him away and storm out. But being this close to her, something inside him snaps. He’s not going to do this tonight. He’ll lose the $250. He isn’t the type of guy to make bets on who he can get to sleep with him. Betty would actually flip her lid if she knew.

He actually likes Betty, so much so that he doesn’t wanna drag her into this game with the boys.

With that, Archie pulls back, and watches as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You want me to walk you home?” Archie whispers, his hand still on her thigh.

She looks up at him with big saucer eyes, before she licks her lips, her eyes darkening again.

Fuck. She’s actually really hot. Archie’s mind engages and he pulls his hand away from her.

“Sure.” She nods, staring at him with a curious look on her face. She seems a little disappointed after he removed his hand from her.

She’s probably never been touched before. Archie’s mind wanders, as he stands up and holds out his hands to help her up. She grins, slapping her palms in his as he hauls her upward, but she slips and falls backwards and grabs onto his hands for support, and she ends up pulling him down too. She’s laughing and his head is buried in the crook of her neck so her breath is hot in his ear and good god this is what dreams are made of.

He pulls back, eyes wide as he stares at her. The laughter dies in her throat, and he just knows she is waiting for him to kiss her, but he can’t. He’s not doing that here, not now. Not like this.

But for the second time this evening, she surprises him because before he can pull himself upright, her hands are on either side of his face and she’s pulling him towards her. Her lips smack his in a bruising kiss.

Her lips are full and soft and warm and oh yeah she’s thrusting her tongue into his mouth and that’s all Archie can think about. Her hands are hot on his face, and she moves quickly, snaking her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It takes him a good few seconds to realise that he’s kissing Betty Cooper, good, clean, perfect girl next door, on a grubby coach in Fangs living room, in a room full of people.

He pulls back slightly, dazed and a little confused. The rush of blood pulsing in his ears is drowning out the music and the people around him.

“Erm.” He tries to speak, but no words come out.

She looks at him with a bright smile, her eyes shining. “Walk me home?” She takes her bottom lip between her teeth again and she looks nervous underneath him. He steadies himself, putting both hands beside her, staring at her intensely.

“Yeah.” He speaks, but it sounds hoarse. He clears his throat, standing upright as she leans forward, pulling her skirt down a little, she stands. She picks up her clutch from beside her.

He’s blaming it on that fruity punch, because as she starts to move forward, he finds himself reaching for her hand. She interlocks her fingers with his, and he lets her drag him through the crowd of people.

As she’s grabbing her coat from the front door, Archie stands idly, wondering what the fuck is going on. He spots Reggie whose hands are on Veronica’s hips, Veronica’s lips against his neck. Archie laughs.

“Are you sure you don’t mind walking me?” Betty’s voice floats around him, and Archie snaps back and focuses on her.

“Of course not. I’m over this party anyway.” He smiles as her eyelashes flutter. He opens the door for her, and the chill air of November hits them.

She takes a hesitant step out the door, and Archie’s hand slips into hers again. It’s so easy, so natural.

The walk home takes him back to when he and Betty used to home from school together, she’s talking as if no time has passed between them, as if they’ve always been friends. They haven’t spoken about the kiss, and something inside him turns sour, and he stops abruptly as they reach her door. She turns to him.

“Arch?” She breathes, and the nickname causes his heart to break.

He pulls her into him. “Betty, I’m such an asshole. I’m so sorry we stopped talking.”

She reaches out tentatively and brushes her fingers against his skin. “Oh Archie, it’s okay. We grew up, went in different directions.”

“That’s no excuse. Just because we’ve got different friends doesn’t mean WE can’t be friends.”

She laughs. “That is true.”

“About tonight…”

She shakes her head. “It’s okay Arch. I know what happened. I knew you wouldn’t do that bet.”

He looks taken aback. “Wait, you knew?”

She nods. “Yeah, Fangs warned Kevin. Kevin told me about it before you came over. But even though we’re not as close anymore Arch, I still trust you.”

Archie feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. She’s so forgiving, so quick to trust him.

“Okay now I feel like even more of an asshole.”

Betty rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, I kissed you didn’t I? Let’s move on. This doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“You wanna be friends with a dick who makes bets for fun?”

“No, I want to be friends with you, Archie. You’re not like that, I know that.”

He swallows, thinking about what she’s saying. She’s still in his arms and he wants to kiss her so bad but he knows that he’s not good for her. He doesn’t deserve her.

“I don’t think I want to be friends though.” He kicks himself as he watches the hurr flash across her face, it is quickly replaced with an angry stare.

He reels her back in trying to find the words. “No, wait, I mean, you kissed me.”

Her features soften a little and her anger quickly turns to embarrassment. “You kissed me back.” She says with defiance.

He lets out a chuckle. “Well yeah I fucking did. That was a damn good kiss.”

She flushes. “Yeah?”

Archie takes a step. “It caught me off guard though, and of course, I really want to do that again. But this time…” His breath fans against her cheeks and he smells like strawberry vodka. His warm hands cup her face and in slow motion, he dips his head. His lips touch hers, softly. It’s gentle and sweet, and he feels her smile into him. She pulls back, a flush to her cheeks.

“Okay, that was nice.”

“Nice is how a first kiss should be, but you know what Cooper, you can ambush me with kisses like our first one, any time.”

She shakes her head, her hands coming up over her face. She lets out a squeal. “Shut up. It was the fruit punch.”

A light illuminates the path ahead of them, and Betty shifts on her feet as she realises the sensory light on the porch has been set off.

“I should go in before my mom comes out, she’ll have a fit if she knows I’ve been drinking, and I’m pretty sure it’s past my curfew.” She makes a face.

“Okay, but to be continued?” He asks, his fingers lingering against her side.

She nods, touching her lips. “Walk me to school tomorrow?”

“Yeah?”

Betty slips away from him, but presses her lips to his cheek. “Yeah, goodnight Arch.” She breathes, and then she’s inside, the porch light flickering off.

Archie waits on the sidewalk until he sees the light switch on in her bedroom. His lips still tingle, his cheek still warm, and as he turns to walk up to his own steps, it dawns on him that for the first time in a long time, he’s actually really excited for school the next day.

#barchie #betty x archie #AU fic #betty and archie #betty x archie fic #oneshot #bettyarchie #riverdaleau #OOC #betty cooper #archie andrews #dick!archie

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zumpietoo · 3 years

Quote

At the top of the heap of people whose names shall live in infamy are GOP Senators Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz, who led the coup in the Senate to overturn the will of the people. After the fires started burning, Ted Cruz very poorly paid lip service to trying to cool things down, after he had helped commit the arson. Hawley could hardly be bothered to do that. Those two garbage fascists were joined in objections to Arizona and/or Pennsylvania by Tommy Tuberville, Roger Marshall, John Kennedy, Rick Scott, brand new Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis, and Cindy Hyde-Smith. Let the record show that these people went ahead and kept up their objections even after the US Capitol building was attacked by domestic terrorists they and their shithole Dear Leader had incited. In the Senate, it was only those assholes. In the House, though? Holy shit. They objected to Arizona and somehow even more of them voted to sustain the objection to Pennsylvania in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, as if yesterday's terrorism put a spring in their step, as if the blood in the hallways of the Capitol gave them sustenance. Again, all of this was after the terrorist attack. And in the House it wasn't just Arizona and Pennsylvania either. Reps like Louie Gohmert stood up to object to other states too, even though the GOP senators who had originally planned to support those challenges had put down their guns and agreed to end the standoff peacefully. (It was particularly pleasing to watch Vice President Mike Pence glare at Gohmert, who just got finished unsuccessfully suing Pence to make him overturn the election, and tell him his objection to the electors in Wisconsin "MAY NOT BE ENTERTAINED," since he couldn't get even the Senate's dumbest Republican Ron Johnson to sign his treason permission slip anymore.) Overall, 139 House GOP members voted to object to the electors from Arizona and/or Pennsylvania. These are their names. They should not be allowed around your children, you should kick them out of your chicken restaurant, and they should always and forevermore be referred to as seditious traitors to democracy in the United States of America. They really should be expelled from Congress. They're listed by state, to make it helpful for people to know which chicken restaurants to ban them from, specifically. Alabama 1. Robert Aderholt 2. Mo Brooks 3. Jerry Carl 4. Barry Moore 5. Gary Palmer 6. Mike Rogers Arizona 7. Andy Biggs 8. Paul Gosar 9. Debbie Lesko 10. David Schweikert Arkansas 11. Rick Crawford California 12. Ken Calvert 13. Mike Garcia 14. Darrell Issa 15. Doug LaMalfa 16. Kevin McCarthy 17. Devin Nunes 18. Jay Obernolte Colorado 19. Lauren Boebert 20. Doug Lamborn Florida 21. Kat Cammack 22. Mario Diaz-Balart 23. Byron Donalds 24. Neal Dunn 25. Scott Franklin 26. Matt Gaetz 27. Carlos Jimenez 28. Brian Mast 29. Bill Posey 30. John Rutherford 31. Greg Steube 32. Daniel Webster Georgia 33. Rick Allen 34. Earl "Buddy" Carter 35. Andrew Clyde 36. Marjorie Taylor Greene 37. Jody Hice 38. Barry Loudermilik Idaho 39. Russ Fulcher Illinois 40. Mike Bost 41. Mary Miller Indiana 42. Jim Baird 43. Jim Banks 44. Greg Pence 45. Jackie Walorski Kansas 46. Ron Estes 47. Jacob LaTurner 48. Tracey Mann Kentucky 49. Harold Rogers Louisiana 50. Garret Graves 51. Clay Higgins 52. Mike Johnson 53. Steve Scalise Maryland 54. Andy Harris Michigan 55. Jack Bergman 56. Lisa McClain 57. Tim Walberg Minnesota 58. Michelle Fischbach 59. Jim Hagedorn Mississippi 60. Michael Guest 61. Trent Kelly 62. Steven Palazzo Missouri 63. Sam Graves 64. Vicky Hartzler 65. Billy Long 66. Blaine Luetkemeyer 67. Jason Smith Montana 68. Matt Rosendale North Carolina 69. Dan Bishop 70. Ted Budd 71. Madison Cawthorn 72. Virginia Foxx 73. Richard Hudson 74. Gregory Murphy 75. David Rouzer New Jersey 76. Jeff Van Drew New Mexico 77. Yvette Harrell New York 78. Chris Jacobs 79. Nicole Malliotakis 80. Elise Stefanik 81. Lee Zeldin Nebraska 82. Adrian Smith Ohio 83. Steve Chabot 84. Warren Davidson 85. Bob Gibbs 86. Bill Johnson 87. Jim Jordan Oklahoma 88. Stephanie Hice 89. Tom Cole 90. Kevin Hern 91. Frank Lucas 92. Markwayne Mullin Oregon 93. Cliff Bentz Pennsylvania 94. John Joyce 95. Fred Keller 96. Mike Kelly 97. Daniel Meuser 98. Scott Perry 99. Guy Reschenthaler 100. Lloyd Smucker 101. Glenn Thompson South Carolina 102. Jeff Duncan 103. Ralph Norman 104. Tom Rice 105. William Timmons 106. Joe Wilson Tennessee 107. Tim Burchett 108. Scott DesJarlais 109. Chuck Fleischmann 110. Mark Green 111. Diana Harshbarger 112. David Kustoff 113. John Rose Texas 114. Jodey Arrington 115. Brian Babin 116. Michael Burgess 117. John Carter 118. Michael Cloud 119. Pat Fallon 120. Louie Gohmert 121. Lance Gooden 122. Ronny Jackson 123. Troy Nehls 124. August Pfluger 125. Pete Sessions 126. Beth Van Duyne 127. Randy Weber 128. Roger Williams 129. Ron Wright Utah 130. Burgess Owens 131. Chris Stewart Virginia 132. Ben Cline 133. Bob Good 134. Morgan Griffith 135. Robert Wittman West Virginia 136. Carol Miller 137. Alexander Mooney Wisconsin 138. Scott Fitzgerald 139. Tom Tiffany These are the people who either incited yesterday's attackers, gave them aid and comfort as terrorist sympathizers, or both.

https://www.wonkette.com/here-are-all-147-members-of-the-terrorist-inciting-gop-sedition-caucus-may-their-names-forever-be-stained

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riverdale-retread · 3 years

Text

Riverdale S5 E6 Back To School

5 Things I Loved/ 3 Things To Consider

The S5 Character Resets are underway and I really love them. Let me count the ways.

1. Jughead the adult is someone who rolls with the punches. I love that he grew out of that boy who was willing to DIE to belong or prove a point or save others and was in general so tense and defensive about who he was. He has a new relationship with the word “weird,” going from the high octane emotionality of I’m a weird weirdo and not your project!!! to this casual, Embrace the weird acceptance. He also has a relaxed sense of humor about his writing (I don’t know, but it makes a good story), rather than the white knuckle performance anxiety he used to have about it. Jughead blatantly fishing out money from the tip jar his students have put on his desk in his classroom to mock him was DELIGHTFUL. I loved it SO MUCH.

2. Toni is basically on a mission to correct the things she didn’t like about her childhood before her own baby arrives and I adore that. Her work started last episode with reclaiming what the Serpent Dance (Female) is, making sure that the Serpents are financially solvent, that Sweet Pea and Fangs are gainfully employed, and giving Archie a bunch of homework about how to rehabilitate Riverdale. In this episode she makes the point that cheerleading is a sport and that Archie needs to get over his Football Supremacists nonsense, and works on getting Cheryl out of her doldrums.

3. Cheryl was always a fragile, tender person underneath her mean girl and theatrical exterior, and the adult character reset seems to be that she’s done with pretending that she’s fine that her brother died. She’s supposed to be done grieving, but she isn’t. For personal reasons, I love this. I understand you, Cheryl. Cheryl used to aggressively hide this part of herself - the no-lipstick self - and I’m not sure that Toni is actually doing the right thing by trying to revive the Red Lipstick Cheryl. That tension is delicious though.

4. Archie and Betty have completely stopped trying to be nice, warm, fuzzy people who mean well. They’ve become the people I’ve been tracking in the retread all along - tough, pragmatic, violent, domineering, and not all that interested in anyone else’s issues/agenda/ problems, including each other’s. I guess I’m in the severe minority, but I love anti-heroes, especially women, so I am getting such a kick out of the shitty stuff they do. Archie, knowing what he knows about how Reggie’s father humiliated him on the football field as a child and the tender, boy-bonding they did in the aftermath, goes charging up to Reggie, when he’s the coach, and just punches him in the face with no hesitation. Holy shit. I love Betty enjoying her own beauty (her hair!) and sexuality (she was always the more sexual one in Bughead), approaching sex as a fun sport activity more than anything else. Betty has no qualms about pretending to be FBI and neither actual law enforcement (Tom Keller) nor law enforcement adjacent (Kevin Keller) dare say a peep.

5. Veronica’s current liberation from the cult of Archie (even if it’s temporary) is a relief to me. When Chad correctly points out that what Archie is asking for - and has always asked for and gotten - from Veronica is a handout, she doesn’t argue or launch into a speech about how wonderful Archie is and how he’s going to save the town or whatever. She just didn’t want her husband to be rude to an old friend by being so crass. Veronica’s also developed some of Hermione’s sadness (because being in a straight marriage is unhealthy for people, as per the Riverdale thesis), but at the same time it’s given her some emotional directness. She no longer seems to need to find The Perfect, Everyone Wins solution. She just says what she wants and needs, to her husband.

Sidebar: So in addition to being Ethel Muggs and Brett Weston Wallis, I’m also goddamn Chad Gekko because Veronica continually pouring money into everything and anything Archie wanted funding for always irked me SO much. Thanks, Riverdale, for the self-realization I’m getting.

Things to Think About

a) Is Archie capable of having sex only in Riverdale? The Music Room basically became the Archie Andrews Sex Room when he was a student. He says he’s dated no one since leaving the town, which Veronica apparently understood to mean he was practically celibate (which I find unlikely; I mean - HAVE YOU SEEN ARCHIE?). I do feel like Archie Andrews is turned on by the Riverdale High School building itself. Betty says My sister who has gone through long bouts of various kinds of instability and involuntary confinement is missing and his answer is Cool, anyway, let's fuck and just propositions her in the teacher’s lounge.

b) Ms Bell is playing all sides of the game (she calls Cheryl about Toni, and then calls Hiram about the Bulldogs) but I can’t tell what game she’s playing. I love that actress - she’s at Dr. Curdle Jr. / Nana Rose levels of interesting and I’m all for having her have more to do.

c) The Serpents really hating Jughead’s book, and then his next book also being something to do with Riverdale made me remember a tidbit my AP English teacher told us about D.H. Lawrence, who would approach someone who looked sad, look at them with his sad blue eyes and tenderly ask, “Whatever is the matter?” and let them pour their heart out, and then, two or three months later, when that person was ENRAGED at their heartache having been turned into a thinly disguised short story for publication, could not understand what the problem was. I think this may be a commentary about this type of writer from the Riverdale writing team - We are the truly creative creators, and better than this dude, might be what they’re saying, because they invent outlandish events rather than trying to do some sort of ‘slice of life.’

#riverdale positivity #riverdale s5

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georgecostanzaatemysoup · 4 years

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Episode 12... HOLY FUCKING SHIT...

Local boy tries to visit mom... mom says no. **listen up, Riverdale, if I see one more awful parent in this goddamn show I’m going to lose my ever loving mind**

Nooooo, don’t say that, you’re an angel

I mean... this probably has more to do with his dad than what you did, but okay Betty.

Noooooo, don’t lie. You’re trying to be a better person for Jughead. Aha!!

Because his son was threatened!!!

And he looks at me...

And I look at him...

I won’t even make a joke here. I just feel bad for everyone involved.

NOOOOOOOOO!

My god, this woman surprises me with every episode.

LITTLE BITCH ALERT

Okay, I’m going to interject for two seconds to say this was me during the Cooper/Blossom reveal:

Polly’s reaction? On point.

This is like a goddamn soap opera

For once, I agree with Hal Cooper.

Fuck yes, Alice! Get Polly out of there!!!

Stop being relatable...

Jughead saw right through you, FP.

SAVE HIM!!!!

KEVIN! JOAQUIN! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

He looks so upset about upsetting Kevin :(

Another interjection: I won’t post anything from Mustang’s apartment, but I’m intrigued as to why he had all that money from Hermione and if he actually OD’d or if he was also murdered.

HE CARES SO MUCH!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

NOOOOO!!!! Joaquin is leaving, guys.

Does he ever actually get to keep a boyfriend???? Asking for a friend.

I get Mommy Dearest vibes from her... and I probably always will.

Alice Cooper, dropping some harsh truths.

Knowing how this episode ends, this shot of the sign really feels like foreshadowing for the Blossom family.

Archie:

Kevin Keller: Betty Cooper’s biggest fan.

Hey, Archie, calm down with all those emotions you’re showing.

Cheryl is about to put her Gucci boot in someone’s ass.

What?

What??

What???

Last interjection: I won’t post any screenshots surrounding what went down when the cops attempted to arrest Cliff Blossom (for obvious reasons), but his crimes finally caught up with him. I am, however, torn between whether he actually did what he did OR if someone killed him. I don’t know what to think.

Fucker threatened FP, just like I said. You asshole. You piece of trash. You complete garbage person. I just wish you got to rot in prison where you belonged.

Goodbye Mary!!! I’ll miss you :(

This relationship is lovely, and quite frankly one of the few reasons I’ve stuck around this long.

Why did Cliff do it indeed, Jughead.

Wow! So... uh... wow. That reveal was... insane. Holy shit! I have several theories, but I’m still too frazzled by that ending to sift through them. Knowing Jason’s own father killed him for, what, knowing he smuggled drugs? Knowing he did something else? Knowing... what?

This show is getting insane, guys.

#ash watches riverdale #riverdale #idk what to think

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unspokenfaith · 5 years

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I Love You Most

Chapter One: The Spirit That Dwells

Pairings: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge/Reggie Mantle, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Kevin Keller/Fangs Fogarty, Sweet Pea/OC Rating: T (potentially M later on) Word Count: 3239 Prompt: Horror (Camp Riverdale) Summary: Veronica was hoping to have a relaxing weekend with her friends the summer before senior year. But with Betty and Jughead’s recent break-up, as well as the tension between Jughead and the other Serpents, she begins to think that it wasn’t the best idea, especially when there seems to be an unexpected visitor in the Lodges’ lake house.

AO3

A piercing scream echoes across the lake as the girl’s body hit the water. Her head resurfaces not a moment later and she squeals in delight. Loud. Innocent. Euphonic. The rush of the first jump. She waves her arms around, secured in pink floaties, to catch someone’s attention—the woman on the dock wearing sunglasses, a large sun hat, and an amused smile. She temporarily puts down her magazine to clap, much to the young girl’s satisfaction.

The girl beams, flashing her tiny teeth, before searching the shoreline anxiously. Waiting. Soon a man in a suit appeared, cell phone glued to his ear and eyes on his watch. He makes his way over to the woman in the hat, still chattering away. A work call, presumably. Even with her sunglasses on, it isn’t hard to decipher the woman’s annoyance. The way she crosses her arms, looking up at him like this isn’t the first time this has happened. Nor would it be the last. The girl’s eyes are wide, sad, as she waits impatiently for him to notice her victory.

After a while, the man disappears back into the house without so much as a word to either, and the girl hoists herself back up on to the dock, defeated. She wraps a towel around herself, clinging to it like it would protect her from embarrassment and neglect.

And as she combs her hands through her raven hair, glancing back at the house, it becomes abundantly clear that she is a girl—a special girl⁠—who craves love.

I hope I can give that to her someday.

**********

Veronica

“Remind me to check the app to see what your ghost’s name is,” Gwen said, her acrylic nails tapping on the screen of her phone. “If it’s friendly.”

Veronica smiled at Betty and Kevin in the rearview mirror. You only had to talk to Gwen for less than five minutes to know she was a paranormal fanatic. The Conjuring, Buzzfeed Unsolved, ghost stories or possession encounters of any kind—you name it. Veronica found it rather off-putting at first. It wasn’t exactly what she was expecting, working with a girl from school at Pop’s—let alone from Pop’s granddaughter—when they were serving burgers and milkshakes. But it soon became a welcome distraction from, well, anything else going on in Riverdale that wasn’t paranormal activity.

That’s why she knew when she invited Gwen to the lake house for the weekend, she wouldn’t refuse. Gwen couldn’t have said “yes” any faster.

Even though Veronica was Gwen’s only connection to the group attending, aside from maybe Betty and Kevin now, she had faith her co-worker would quickly get along with everyone else. She was easier to like than most.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up. There might not be any ghosts there at all,” Veronica said.

Gwen dropped her phone on her lap, giving her a look. “Uh, a lake house in the deep, dark woods in the middle of nowhere? There’s a ghost, okay?”

“I’d believe it,” Betty said. “Do you know who lived there before, V?”

“No idea, actually. Mom said something about a young couple once, but I don’t know how long ago that was,” Veronica explained. “I don’t want to shut down all the speculation, but I was kind of hoping this would just be a normal, relaxing weekend. You know, demonic-spirit-free and all.”

Betty leaned forward with her chin on Veronica’s seat, and whispered, “But what if it’s a nice spirit?”

“Thank you!” Gwen said, and Kevin laughed.

Veronica rolled her eyes, smiling, as she made the final turn and the lake house came into view. Two cars—Archie’s and Cheryl’s—and Jughead’s motorcycle were already parked in front. Apparently they were the last to arrive.

Gwen gasped loudly, rolling the window down to get a better look. “Holy shit, girl! You call that a cabin? There’s definitely a ghost in there.”

“Did I say it was a cabin?” Veronica teased.

“I don’t think her parents even know what a cabin is,” Kevin said.

She parked next to Archie’s truck just as he and Reggie emerged. Veronica smiled at the sight of her boyfriend, barely turning the car off before hopping out and running over and jumping on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Hey, you.” Reggie smiled, pecking her on the lips.

“Hi,” she said. “How was the drive? How’d you guys get here first, anyway?” She looked between Reggie and Archie, who was already hauling bags out of the back of the truck.

“Wow, someone’s in a hurry,” Veronica said.

Archie paused, wiping his forehead. “Hey, I’ll get yours too if you want.”

She smiled. “What a gentleman.”

Veronica could not have been more grateful that she and Archie were able to move past the awkward post-break-up-now-I’m-dating-your-friend-phase, if they even had one at all. They seemed to be on the same page—moving on, rekindling a friendship, being amicable about the whole thing. She wished the same could be said about others on the trip.

Jughead wandered over, noticeably eyeing Betty, who was helping Archie take bags out of Veronica’s car. She was Betty’s best friend, and even she didn’t know all the details that led to the break-up. Definitely having something to do with their mutual brother, Charles. Also definitely having something to do with the all the peace they’ve enjoyed over the past few months giving Betty a new perspective. What she did know was that it was a long time coming, and she never would’ve told Betty when they were still together, but she was never too fond of the pair anyway.

But Betty was fine, happy in fact, and that’s all Veronica really cared about.

“Need a hand there, guys?” Jughead asked.

Betty and Archie turned around, Archie glancing at her, trying to get a read on the situation. If Veronica thought she knew little, he must’ve really felt like he was in the dark.

“We’re fine, Jughead. Thanks,” Betty said, hauling out the last of the suitcases.

Kevin already found Fangs by Cheryl’s car, the pair sitting on the hood and holding hands. Sweet Pea scanned the woods, arms crossed, as though he were expecting something to jump out and attack. With everything that happened over the past couple of years, Veronica couldn’t really blame him.

Cheryl sighed, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. “I’m baking out here. Can we please go inside before I get skin cancer?”

“Did you forget to put sunscreen on, babe?” Toni asked.

“I didn’t forget. It was a conscious decision,” Cheryl replied. “My skin needs to breathe.” She folded her arms, looking at Veronica expectantly.

“What?” Veronica asked.

“Aren’t you going to let us in?”

“I told you there was a key under one of the pots.”

“Yeah, and we didn’t find one,” Cheryl said.

“Really? That’s weird. I thought my mom left one last time we were here.” Veronica lifted each of the pots by the front steps, finding Cheryl to be right—no key. She must’ve forgotten to put one there.

“Well, I brought one anyway.” She pulled the key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, pushing it open. “Okay, so make yourselves at home. There are four bedrooms upstairs, and the couch down here is a pull out, so there should be plenty of room for everyone.” She turned around to find Kevin and Gwen gaping, while Betty, Archie, and Jughead were already sitting down in the living room.

Cheryl came in, with a passive, “Kevin, Gwen,” as she walked between them. For whatever reason, that seemed to catch Sweet Pea’s attention.

“Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met,” he said to Gwen. “Gwen, right?”

Toni and Fangs looked at each other, smirking.

“Yeah…” Gwen studied him for a second. “Have I seen you somewhere? Like at Pop’s or something?”

Sweet Pea laughed. Laughed. “Yeah, I’ve been in a few times.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow at him. “And...your name?”

“Oh...right, yeah, I’m Sweet Pea.”

“Cool name.” She smiled.

“Okay, well, I’m bringing my stuff upstairs. I’ll be right back,” Veronica said, grabbing her bags.

Reggie started to follow her. “I’ll come with you.”

With Sweet Pea striking up a conversation with Gwen, Jughead casually whipping out his typewriter—the same one Betty got him, which seemed in poor taste—and everyone else either unpacking or deciding on sleeping arrangements, Veronica had a feeling it didn’t matter if they took their time.

“Was this a bad idea?” she asked, once they were at the top of the stairs.

Reggie frowned. “What happened to ‘this will be a nice break?’”

Veronica sighed, sitting down on her bed. “I know, but….Betty….Jughead...the Serpents...You can’t tell me you don’t think something could go wrong there.”

“So? Not our problem.” He sat down next to her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault Betty and Jughead broke up. And the Serpents can figure their own shit out. I’d say the only thing you did wrong was inviting Jughead. He seems to be the source of both problems.”

“Hey!” She hit his arm lightly. “I didn’t think he would actually come.”

“Yeah, why did he come?”

Veronica shrugged. “Beats me. So are you sleeping in here?”

“Depends. Am I invited?” Reggie smirked.

“Always,” she said. “You can put your stuff in that closet there if you want. Sorry it’s kind of a mess.”

She fell back on the bed, as Reggie got up to open the closet. He shuffled some things around to make room for his bag, then paused, laughing.

“What is so funny?” she demanded.

He poked his head out from the closet, grinning and holding two pink floaties. “These yours?”

“Yes…and? You never had those when you were learning how to swim?”

“Oh, sure, pretend like you don’t still use these.”

“Shut up!” Veronica grabbed a pillow and threw it at his head, but he was still laughing.

Reggie ceremoniously held out his arm, sliding one floaty on his arm, and then the other. “How do I look?”

“Like you’re finally ready to go swimming. Aww, Reggie, I’m so proud of you.”

“You are….”

“I am what?” She smiled teasingly.

He tackled her on to her back, and she screamed louder than she meant to, then fell into a fit of laughter as she tried to push Reggie off, but couldn’t seem to fight off the pink floaty arms. When he kissed her, she gave up completely, allowing him to move down to her neck.

As she closed her eyes, she heard the words, “I love you” come out of her mouth. She didn’t think she said it out loud, but she must’ve, because Reggie stopped and looked into her eyes.

“What did you just—”

The window closed with a loud thud, and they both jumped up. She took Reggie’s hand instinctively, and maybe because she was a tiny bit afraid.

Veronica didn’t remember opening the window in the first place.

**********

Betty

“What was that?” Betty asked, looking up at the stairs.

“Are you really asking that question, Betty?” Cheryl draped her legs across Toni’s lap. “If you want to go up there and interrupt them, then be my guest.”

“Gladly,” Jughead interjected, rolling his eyes. He was still clicking on his typewriter, and Betty still couldn’t decide if she was bothered that he brought it here, but it did make her wonder why he came at all.

Ever since they broke up, it became increasingly clear that Betty was Jughead’s only tie to everyone else. Even his friendship with Archie had fallen apart over the past couple of years. As he proclaimed almost every day, Jughead was a loner, and he seemed to like it that way. Maybe it was the constant thought of college, life after high school—the future—or maybe it was a simple matter of a difference in perspective—maybe both—but it only took Betty a month of solitude to realize he just wasn’t what she needed. Or wanted.

Betty thought she made a big mistake that night when he came over to her house—when Jughead stormed out and she couldn’t sleep when she spent hours crying into her pillow. She couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she was throwing away something good.

Then a text from Archie popped up on her phone.

Hey, you ok? Your light is still on.

When she glanced over at the window, she realized it was still open. He heard her crying. Who knows what else he heard before that.

I’m fine.

Go to the window.

She did her best to wipe the tears off her face, but she was sure her eyes were still red. When she walked over to the window, she saw Archie holding a stuffed bear—the one she made for him in fifth grade. At the time she thought it was her proudest moment, but looking at it now, the button eyes lopsided on its face, and the fabric barely holding together, it looked more like something out of a horror film. She couldn’t believe he still had it.

Betty laughed, and even though she felt like a complete wreck, she slept soundly after that. She held onto that ever since.

“Can you turn that thing off?” Sweet Pea asked, referring to the loud clicking of the typewriter. He said what Betty was thinking.

“Sweet Pea, I’m trying to write a novel here. If it’s bothering you, just go somewhere else,” Jughead said, his eyes glued to the piece of paper slowly emerging.

“Why the hell did you even come if you’re just going to be all Edgar Allan Poe in the corner there?”

Jughead scoffed. “Poe was a poet, Sweet Pea. I’m a novelist.”

“Actually, not that this really matters, but he wrote stories, too,” Toni said. Next to her, Fangs laughed to himself.

Betty looked at Archie, who seemed to be just as amused as everyone else, and then he caught her eye. She couldn’t help but smile too.

“Okay!” Kevin stood up, clapping his hands together. “Why don’t we all play a game or something?”

“Ooh, good idea! Is there a Oujia board in here?” Gwen scanned the room eagerly.

“Uh, is that really a good idea?” Archie asked.

“Are you kidding? This is the perfect setting for it,” Kevin said, helping Gwen look in all the drawers and cabinets.

“Actually…” For the first time since arriving, Jughead stopped clicking and turned to face everyone. “This is probably the worst possible place you could play it. We’re pretty much in the middle of nowhere.”

“Who gives a fu—” But Sweet Pea was interrupted by Gwen.

“Look...Jughead, right? I don’t know what your deal is, but we’re just trying to have fun. If you don’t want to play, that’s fine. No one’s stopping you.”

Everyone stared at her. Sweet Pea’s eyes were especially wide. It was oddly refreshing to see someone—particularly someone who barely knew Jughead—put him in his place.

Jughead frowned, but said nothing as he resumed typing.

“Found it!” Kevin shouted, holding up the Ouija box.

“Yes! I’ll go get Veronica and Reggie,” Gwen said, running upstairs. She returned with the pair a minute later, both of them visibly disheveled. Veronica was fixing her hair while Reggie straightened his shirt. Betty gave Veronica a knowing smile.

“Is everyone playing?” Archie asked.

“Yeah, what’s wrong? Scared, Andrews?” Sweet Pea smirked.

“I mean, kind of. I’ve heard a lot of stories.”

“Your girlfriend can protect you,” Gwen said, eyeing Betty. Jughead stopped, shooting a look in Betty and Archie’s direction.

“Um, Gwen, we’re not…” Betty gestured between her and Archie.

“Yeah, it’s not…” Archie laughed nervously.

“Chill. It was a joke.” Gwen sat down on the floor and opened the game box. “Does someone want to turn the lights off?”

“Got it,” Fangs said, flipping the switch.

Betty hated the growing unease in her stomach.

“If we die, I’m killing all of you,” Cheryl said.

Gwen brushed the board off. “Damn this thing is old.”

“That adds to the vibe,” Kevin said, setting down the white planchette on the board. “Who wants to do the honors?”

“I will!” Gwen was a little too excited to talk to spirits. She placed her hand on the planchette, waiting.

Everyone leaned forward, staring at the board. Gwen’s hand stayed in the same place, not even budging the slightest.

Sweet Pea groaned. “What, are they asleep? Wake up, whatever your name is!”

“Shh!” Gwen reached back her other hand to Sweet Pea’s leg, which seemed to be enough to shut him up. “You don’t want to make them mad.”

For a split second, the chandelier hanging over the table flickered. Gwen’s hand started to move. Kevin grabbed a piece of paper and pen, watching.

“He….” Gwen began sounding it out.

“Spirit says ‘hello,’” Kevin said.

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “That’s it?”

“It’s moving again!” Fangs pointed at the board, and everyone was silent again.

This word—or sentence—was much longer, too long for Gwen to sound it out on her own. Betty already forgot what the first few letters were.

“Someone will…” Kevin kept scribbling.

“Oh, God….” Gwen’s face fell.

Kevin lowered the piece of paper, staring at the board wide-eyed.

“What did it say?” Archie asked, trying to peak over Kevin’s shoulder.

“Someone will die tonight,” Kevin said, eyes still glued to the board, as though he were waiting for the spirit to take it back.

Cheryl burst into laughter. “Seriously? ‘Someone will die tonight?’ How many times have they used that one?”

“Cheryl…” Toni placed her hand on her girlfriend’s arm.

“What? Toni, you don’t actually believe this thing, do you? It’s a game. A game that’s meant to scare people.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, guys…” Archie said. “‘Hello. Someone will die tonight?’ Sounds kind of automated.”

“Let’s just put the game away,” Betty said, sensing this was going to be blown out of proportion.

“You don’t want to know more?” Gwen asked. “Maybe they’re trying to warn us.”

“Or someone’s going to get killed by a demon tonight,” Kevin pointed out.

“Okay, this is ridiculous! I’m going upstairs.” Cheryl rose from the couch, and went upstairs without another word.

“Cheryl, come on!” Toni shouted, eventually following her.

Gwen said goodbye to the spirit and put the game away, much to her and Kevin’s disappointment.

“Well, that was fun while it lasted,” Sweet Pea said. “Goodnight...if I see you all in the morning.”

“Okay, that’s enough! No one is dying!” Veronica insisted, but judging by the alarm in her eyes, she probably didn’t even believe herself.

“Hey, not that I particularly give a damn, but where’s Jughead?” Fangs asked.

Betty turned around. The typewriter sat by itself on the table. She didn’t even realized the clicking had stopped. Jughead was nowhere in sight.

“He must’ve gone outside,” Archie said. “I’ll go see if he’s okay.”

“Wait!” Betty yelled, and he stopped in his tracks. She met him at the door. “I’ll come with you.”

For a moment Archie looked at her like he was going to protest, but then he nodded. “Okay.”

“We’ll be right back,” Betty informed everyone else.

She wouldn’t have been that concerned about going out to the woods in the middle of the night, but Veronica’s pleading look made her tense.

Betty tried not to think about the possibility that she and Archie could be longer than just a few minutes.

#riverdaleevents #campriverdale #riverdale fic #riverdale #my writing #mine #fic: I love you most #barchie fic #veggie fic #choni fic

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

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Riverdale 3.14 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Joking Betty… wow… that’s actually very adorable and I love it. More of this (good) petty Betty please!

Did Archie just get a job? I’m confused… “you gotta pay your dues” makes it sound like he fucked everything up and has to pay money for something but then he’s like “yeah no this kid has been through too much, just sweep and lock up, okay?” But like… what?

Like I’m mad at Cheryl for what she did last episode to my boys, but holy fuck she looks good, and Peaches beside her? WHOO I’M—

LMAO CHERYL’S FACE WHEN THAT ONE GUY CALLS THEM “BITCHES” So like… why weren’t we allowed to see that fight? I fucking heard glass breaking so like… lemme see Cheryl punch at least one ghoulie bitch

Jughead saying that the Serpents don’t cook… as if they don’t have ghoulies, who DO cook drugs. Serpents were always the better gang because the Ghoulies sealed drugs and shit, and Serpents just helped out the community lol

Principal Weatherbee what was the reason for saying “one more strike” twice???

Wait since the fuck when was the speakeasy secret? YOU HAD AN OPENING AND SO MANY REGULAR PEOPLE FROM RIVERDALE WERE THERE??? God this show is so fucking confusing I’m—

Why did they make Archie yell at the kid when we all know he would be soft to a young kid? Is it to make Archosie seem like cute parents? Either way tho… I LOVE ARCHOSIE

POOR RICKY. Imma protect him with my life oKAY

“It’s just me and my dad” EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY.

UGH WE LOVE DAD ARCHIE OKAY

Choni!!! This angst is really… scaring me whoo. That line about the meeting spot… got to me. Like many are misinterpreting it as them breaking up but she’s just saying that it’s going to be awkward if they have meetings for a gang Toni suspended her from in her house.

A CORE FOUR SCENE? WOW I 5GOT THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS SKSKSKSKSKS because Betty never talks to V, and when she does it’s usually her talking shit for literally no reason, and then V apologizes… for no reason. And Betty never sees Archie bc the writers are afraid of Barchie’s power, same with Jeronica lol (I want more Jeronica breadcrumbs please)

If they do lose the Cooper house, she should move in with Archie. And no, it’s not just because I like Barchie and want them together (love you too archosie but you’re going to have to end when Josie goes to the spinoff :(( ) because Archie has room, he’s her best friend, and honestly we don’t need Betty being caught up in the Lodge or Jones family drama.

“You are an attractor?” What the fuck does that even mean, Kevin? Honestly this episode actually makes me ROOT for Betty like that’s a rare thing to me because normally she’s an annoying bitch but like… I like this Betty. The one who’s actually nice, and isn’t a bitch to her friends for no reason, who isn’t trying to please her boyfriend by inserting herself into her boyfriend’s gang. Like, season one Betty. When she was happiest (even though right now… that’s not really a possibility with what’s going on with her family). Give me this Betty, with a not stupid Jughead (which lets me honest right now he’s not able to not be a stupid fucking idiot), and I might be able to say I can tolerate Bughead

Oh wow it was a ghoulie. I never would have guessed. How crazy.

First of all, I love that Fangs calls him a fizzle rock junkie. Like, I know he sold it for his mom but I still find it kinda funny… two… WHEN THE FUCK WAS MY BOY FANGS THE AGGRESSIVE ONE? I swear they switched up Sweet Pea and Fangs’ personalities because they KNOW Sweet Pea would never allow stupid ass Jughead’s ideas and shit and he would fight back. But now suddenly it’s Fangs??? Like… what? I mean I love seeing SP’s soft side and I like the idea of showing Fangs aggressive side but they’re really fucking everything up when it comes to arcs and personalities and shit

LMAO WHY DID I LAUGH WHEN JUGHEAD HIT THE DESK AND SCREAMED “ALRIGHT” LIKE ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS GO IN BETWEEN THEM WHAT WAS THE POINT OF DEFINITELY HURTING YOUR HAND ON THE DESK JUGHEAD. Like I said… stupid idiot lol.

Jughead just needs to cut ties like there’s only two original Serpents left… just give Toni what she deserves (her rightful title) and watch the Serpents go back to being an actual, good gang (good as in not fucked up and withering)

“And now that I think about it, neither do the Serpents” YEAH BECAUSE YOU CAN’T LEAD A GANG. Once again… give Toni her rightful title so she can make the Serpents how they were supposed to be!!! IT’S NOT THAT HARD JUGHEAD.

So like where the fuck is Tom Keller??? Why can’t he help his son? This is BS

Why does this feel like the only scene where Betty legit talks to Josie? Like, one on one? Mmhm

So because I already know that Ricky is Joaquin’s brother (I’ll freak out about that when it comes to it) WHY THE FUCK DON’T ANY OF THE SERPENTS… well… SP or Fangs…. RECOGNIZE HIM??? THEY INSINUATED THAT FANGS DATED JOAQUIN SO LIKE HE SHOULD KNOW HIS YOUNGER BROTHER. What the fuck writers

What kinda crack… Kevin really just walked on fire like it was nothing??? Also if Kevin is doing this does that mean Alice did?

I’m still mad that they kept the murder of the shady man a secret like it was self defense they had nothing to hide! And now it’s being used against her. UGH

TONI COMING TO TELL JUGHEAD ABOUT FANGS.

MY BABY FANGS.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BOY BETTER NOT GET HURT

THANK GOD SWEET PEA AND JUGHEAD PROTECTED HIS FALL!!! Also because I ship Swangs… PROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND SWEET PEA YEAH BOY

“I miss the Serpents” as someone who head cannons Reggie as Sweet Pea’s half brother… love that line for me

DAD ARCHIE I’M—

LOPAZ CRUMBS OH MY GOD

The fact that Veronica thinks of the Pretty Poisons instead of the Serpents really says something. Like, The Serpents are dying, the Poisons are kinda crazy when listening to Cheryl but when it comes to Toni, she knows how to run a gang which is why Veronica went to her and not Jughead. I may ship Jeronica but this was a great idea on Veronica’s part. ALSO MY GIRLS GET PAID!

I know right now Alice is fucking crazy and being manipulated but like… who the fuck would sell their house to an anonymous buyer???

This… is Jughead’s idea? Making Serpents deputies? This is so fucking stupid… it’s official, Archie isn’t the official “idiot” (even though his mistakes were all innocent and well-intentioned) it’s Jughead, he’s the stupid crackhead of Riverdale now

BUT they get paid so that’s good… but still… really? Making them deputies? How fucking stupid is Jughead???

Mmhm and easier way to do this is to GIVE THE SERPENTS TO TONI BECAUSE SHE DESERVES IT. IT’S HER BIRTHDAY. But Jugaloo Jones would rather skin himself than be wrong and prove Toni right

SWEET PEA CLEARING HIS THROAT TO MAKE SURE THE OTHERS RAISE THEIR HANDS I’M—

Lmao there’s my boy! “Do we get to carry guns?”

Still can’t believe he’s Joaquin’s brother. Like, we never know anything about the Serpents until it’s convenient like GIVE US BRITTA BACK SHE’S BETTER AT BALANCING ALL OF THIS SHIT. I heard she’s writing for episode 20 or something so can’t wait for that episode!!!

First of all, WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE USING KNIVES AGAINST ARCHIE??? Also of course at the time we find out he’s self harming and crazy, then he suddenly realizes that’s what Ms. Weiss is telling Archie and then suddenly decides to become crazy.

SECOND OF ALL, FRED!!! Oh this is so sad. We’ll be seeing him for the next few episodes, too… I wonder if they’ll do what they did on Glee and have something happen to him in the show and have a whole episode dedicated to him, or find another actor to play Fred. I mean, I know it’s really really really bad to think of this but if Fred dies in the show too, Archie will… not make it. I think they’re probably going to find another actor, but I don’t know. Whichever they do, though, I’ll be okay with.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP WITH THE FUCKING “KILL THE RED PALADIN” SHIT!!! Jesus Christ

I made myself sad because I heard “obviously” instead of “I’ll be asleep” anyways time to cry

Choni angst :(

YES TONI. YES PEACHES. YES PRETTY POISONS

WE LOVE AND STAN Veronica Lodge SAY IT WITH ME! WE LOVE AND STAN VERONICA LDOGE

Why did I get déjà vu with that scene at the end though?

So I guess arson runs in the family…

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