How to be a queen
#1 Stop being desperate. Stop acting like you can't live w/o that person in your life. Stop being desperate for people to notice you. Stop seeking external validation. There's nothing wrong w/ wanting compliments but desperate for compliments from others? We don't do that here.
How do I fix that, you ask? Shower yourself all the compliments you'd wanna hear from others.
#2 Stop toning down your character for humbling others. It doesn't mean you meet a person for the first time and be like look at my superiority complex but know your worth. You don't have to prove it anyone. You let people know your worth thru your daily actions. The way your carry yourself, the way you express yourself. Okay you might be wrong so what? The people who laugh at you for being wrong don't even have the guts to voice their opinion.
#3 Build your character. Write down your moral code and the things you stand for. Nothing is powerful than you knowing yourself. Be a baddie, voice your opinions all that but don't be a menace. Being mannerless isn't hot.
#4 Be assertive about your boundaries. Don't be like 'i'll give them a second chance and then I'll tell them. . .' No. Once a cheater, always a cheater. They cross your boundaries once, might do it again. So let them know and don't be afraid if they walk away from your life. It ain't your fault they chose trash over Gold.
#5 Thoughts -> Choices -> Behaviours -> Change. Revamp your self concept first. Once you change your thoughts everything will shift. If you keep thinking those same outdated, mediocre thoughts you're life will stay the same. People have healed themselves of deadly diseases by changing their thoughts.
#6 Prioritize your goals. Never change your work schedule for the sake of some person, especially a guy. Stop having all these crushes, it's literally embarrassing. Stop putting other people on the pedestal! You are the main character.
#7 Stop being so invested in other people's lives. Have conversations w/ yourself instead. What they do is none of your business.
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Aziraphale watching Beelzebub and Gabriel talk about each other
"Wherever Beelzebub is, is my heaven"
"And wherever you are, my sweet, is forever my hell"
Every second, fondly glancing over at Crowley
AND YET WHEN CROWLEY ASKED, HE STILL WOULDN'T RUN AWAY WITH HIM
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The Art of People-Pleasing and how to Fail at it:
According to me, people pleasing is kind of an inherent nature. There's nothing wrong in it if you crack the code on how to do it correctly within your boundaries.
It's something that I am personally working on to chalk out a strategy for and use it as a skill.
But for now let's discuss how you can successfully fail at it cause baby you should not play in water at the beach if you don't know how to swim.
1) Learn to say no. That's the base.
2) Develop a sense of self. Be opinionated and believe in it. Practice it.
3) Delight in making people mad and uncomfortable. Enjoy that.
4) Be unbothered. It's okay if someone doesn't believe in your values and opinion. Don't jump in to convince them and sell your idea. Instead you go your way and let them go their way.
5) Overcome your fear of abandonment. Know this thing, when you don't please you are bound to lose connections and people. Cause everyone loves to be put on a pedestal and feel needed. That's exactly what you don't offer them.
6) Observe what situations compel you to people please and pay attention to consciously avoid doing it when exposed to those situations.
7) Ask yourself what you are afraid of? Is it losing the person? Being painted as the bad guy? Or your inner belief of not being good enough? Or upsetting the other person? Reflect!!!!
That's it for today. I want to go in depth with this one but I am not able to formulate it properly as of now. Still I hope this much will be useful even if a little.
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