"It's okay, Khalan. I'm right here. You're safe."
some Pain based on a few new developments within the SMP story. got a decently long explanation under the cut, for anyone interested.
so @cookieg122 and I decided that Khalan and Aya eventually find themselves in Aya's home dimension - a world ruled by a race of powerful fairies who are hell-bent on eternal conquest and proudly declare their Empire as the strongest in all of the galaxy. Aya was their princess, having disappeared under mysterious circumstances (aka when she arrived in Drehmal), and her older brother had been searching for her ever since.
her sudden return ended up placing Khalan under suspicion though - as Aya's brother wrongly assumed that Khalan was responsible for "kidnapping" Aya and had him arrested as a result;; the corrupt king also got involved, hearing terrible rumors that were quickly circulating about Khalan and believing that he had hurt his daughter, so he made the swift decision to have Khalan publicly executed the next morning as a way to make an example out of him to his subjects and remind them of what happens if they step out of line and threaten the royal family.
so of course Aya saves him!!!! she convinces her brother that Khalan is innocent so he also helps out with the rescue, and between the two of them they manage to stand up to their dad and save Khalan from a terrible fate ;n;;
there's like. so SO much more to this concept that I can't really explain, but that's roughly what's going on within the feelsy art here;; I kept thinking of just. the intense emotions happening within that moment, of Aya stepping up and taking on the role of comforter even though that's normally Khalan's thing. role reversal tropes always get me, and tbh Khalan just needs a moment to break down and process just how terrifying that whole situation was before he can help Aya deal with everything too;;
srry this got long, I wasn't sure how else to explain this pic without going into some detail. but I hope y'all can appreciate the feels anyway ;o;
Aya Armas belongs to @cookieg122
also on deviantart
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bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈
if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^
RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!
so the main points that this is all built around:
belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself
ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough
belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants
ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything
they both have very simple views of very complicated things
building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:
belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss
the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all
it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"
belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now
now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel
except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred
i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes
so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles
belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.
so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape
belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.
now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done
ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.
belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty
and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things
but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it
for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."
for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."
and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."
in conclusion,
i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free
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Kocis: An Introduction
A loyal mirrite who strives not only to protect his master, but learn what it means to believe in others. Will his journey lead to hope or destruction?
Kocis is a major protagonist in a Japanese mobile game called Tales of the Rays. And his character development spans all 4 arcs.
What is a mirrite, you ask? Let us start with Kocis' original form before his human one:
Created from the heart of his master, Ix, this little fella was only around for a few months at best before a world changing event separated him from Ix and forced him to grow up all too quickly.
Kocis carries his master's final wish to protect everyone. With his new human form as his only assurance that Ix is still alive, he tries his best to follow in his footsteps. He holds on to the hope that he will one day save Ix and return to his side.
However, Kocis is not Ix, and he still has much to learn. While he treads the path of a protector and tries to place his faith in others as he was taught, he soon finds that trusting in others - even his own master - is far from simple. His strength may not be enough to protect those he cares about, and calling upon his true power could have catastrophic consequences...
So who is Kocis then? Follow me below the cut for more on his personality and development! (*Warning: casual spoilers through Arc 3, but I'll be leaving out a lot of details and stopping before the final arc, so there's still plenty more to learn about Kocis and the main story!)
While a mirrite is indeed created from a part of their master's heart, they have their own personality, grow, and learn. When Kocis was first created, he was excitable and blunt. This gave the cautious and withdrawn Ix mixed feelings at first, but despite his rowdy nature, Kocis' concern for his master was sincere. He often did his best in his own way to cheer Ix up, and he took Ix's words to heart.
After Ix forcibly overloads his own powers to protect the world from imminent disaster, Ix is locked away, and the surge of power causes Kocis to grow into his human form much earlier than a mirrite would naturally. Losing his beloved master and taking on his burden has a drastic effect on Kocis' personality. The once cheery, informal mirrite is gone, replaced by a serious knight who is polite to a fault.
Kocis reflects on the things he's learned from Ix in their short time together. He begins to imitate everything he can about him. He tries to read books as Ix did and fails, the pages lulling him to sleep every time. He takes Ix's words about trusting others seriously, but ends up blindly putting his faith in others, quickly getting burned. Lost and uncertain, the pure desire to rescue Ix drives him forward.
When Ix is finally able to reach out to Kocis' heart via their connection, they talk for the first time in months. Ix finds relief from his prison of torment by chatting with Kocis, and Kocis' serious front swiftly begins to fall away after hearing from his master again. His speech loosens up, and his rough, easygoing personality starts to show through.
One day, after Ix's salvation, Kocis' true personality will return. The carefree, boisterous phase of his early days may be long gone, but he still wears his heart on his sleeve, with how he's feeling plain as day on his face, particularly when Ix is involved. His blunt honesty makes a comeback.
He can't stop himself from grinning in relief at his master's freedom. Only to start crying moments later from the same joy. He's not afraid to give Ix a hug when he's happy for him. Later, Kocis is the only one to truly get angry at Ix for not taking care of himself.
Kocis is the polar opposite of Ix's smarts. He excels more at fighting than thinking things over or studying. His explanations of complicated matters turn into nutshell summaries.
Though Ix is freed, many problems still remain. The damage has been done to Kocis' doubts. A mirrite is also always tied to to their master's heart and to some degree can understand what they're feeling.
So when Ix soon starts to fall apart from stress, despite Kocis' best efforts, he too begins to unravel. While he supports his master wholeheartedly throughout his time of distress, Kocis' own doubts slowly grow and tear him apart from within.
Unable to find strength through believing in himself or others, Kocis starts to turn to an obsession with getting stronger. He becomes convinced it is the only way to stay by his master's side and keep the dangerous power he contains from harming those he cares about.
By the time Ix is back on his feet and ready to be honest with Kocis, it will be far too late...
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Chapters: 2/3
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron & Nesta Archeron, Elain Archeron & Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron/Eris Vanserra
Characters: Nesta Archeron, Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron, Eris Vanserra, Eris Vanserra's Hounds, Cassian, Rhysand, Morrigan, Helion (A Court of Thorns and Roses)
Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, timeloop AU, Absolute chaos after chapter one, Timeloop ending death but also. Murder, fuck around and find out as a Plan, The Hybernian War, Bisexual Lucien Vanserra, Bisexual Nesta Archeron, Found Family, Arson, best friends overnight, (and very different reactions to that fact), Elain Archeron has a personality and a brain, Bookstores as important rebellion, healing and becoming, Oral Sex, Canonical Abusive Relationships
Summary:
It takes sixteen loops, to realize the trick to resetting is to let himself die.
@skychild29 @missanniewhimsy @blackcanary13 @ae-neon @theknittingoracle @andrigyn
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