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#Grayson Dolan au
eroselless · 2 months
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About me: I'm Elle, 22 years old, a very tired college student. I love to write for HOTD, Saltburn, Harry Potter, The Boys/Gen V, F1 (though I'm still very new to it), Cillian Murphy, Pedro Pascal, and their characters and occasionally Bridgerton!
Request Status: OPEN*
*since I am busy with university right now, it could take me some time to get to them <3
I do not post on any other platforms. If you see my work plagiarized anywhere else, please let me know!
I've been neglecting my writing and I am currently trying to get back into writing so my content is lacking a little bit. Stay tuned for new fics!
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Saltburn
Coming soon ...
House of the Dragon
MOTH TO A FLAME - modern!HOTD AU, Aegon Targaryen x Reader
Formula 1
TOA LA NOCHE - one shot, Carlos Sainz x Reader
ESTABA LOCA POR PROBARTE - one shot, Carlos Sainz x Reader
Harry Potter
Coming Soon ...
The Boys/Gen V
Coming Soon ...
Cillian Murphy
Coming Soon ...
Pedro Pascal
Coming Soon ...
Bridgerton
Coming Soon ...
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Discontinued works
Sebastian Stan
Hopelessly Devoted [one] [two]
Bucky Barnes
Red Swan [prologue] [one]
Ethan Dolan
Life saver [one shot]
In the center of the ring [one shot]
Grayson Dolan
"I love you, please don't leave me..."] [blurb]
Linger [one shot]
The floor is lava [one shot]
Shawn Mendes
Señorita [one]
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impaladolan · 2 years
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Grayson and Y/N get all dressed up to go to a fancy restaurant together but when they get there, the restaurant is completely packed with a 3 hour waiting list to get a table, so they end up eating at the fast food place across the street in their fancy clothes
Blurb Alert! - Grayson Dolan
; i hate how i wrote this, but maybe you guys’ll like it? the new mafia au “forbidden alliances” that i’m writing will be the first non-blurb i’ll post in a while, coming soon :)
Irony:
"It appears you're not on the list."
The two of you look at the man with wide, surprised expressions before looking at each other confused.
"You made the reservation, didn't you Grayson?" As calmly as you could, you questioned him with a glare.
"Uh, yeah? I'm fairly certain I did." He pulls his phone out from his pocket and opens up his emails, scrolling to find perhaps a verification or something related to the restaurant Le Goût.
You had a lovely and long blue dress on, it had colorful beading and somehow remained vibrant under the dim lights. Grayson had his classic black and white tux on, which always surprised you how good he could look in such simple attire. His hair was nicely styled, now a bit run through because of his fiddling, and he put a couple of his rings on for the classy occasion.
"Fuck." His hand was tucked under his chin, running along his bearded cheek and jaw. You rose your brow, catching his eye as he turned to you in annoyance.
"I reserved us for tomorrow, dammit." He dropped his shoulders, disappointed with his mistake.
"Yep, Dolan's right here for tomorrow." The man says after flipping through his papers.
"There's a three hour wait if you'd like to put your name down and be seated, or continue with tomorrow's reservation?" You bit the side of your cheek as he relayed this information, turning to see what Gray will think to do.
"We'll just do tomorrow's, thanks man." Grayson shook his hand and gave him a nod, slipping his other hand to clasp yours and pull you out of the long line that was stagnant behind. He walked the two of you to the car, silence engulfing the apparent disappointment of a good meal.
"Well.." You huffed, climbing into the passenger seat as he did so on the driver's side.
"Sorry, Y/N." He curled his bottom lip, making his irresistible puppy dog eyes at you. You laughed, crossing over the console to give his cheek a kiss.
"We'll just do this again tomorrow, Gray." You coo as he wraps his hand back over yours, squeezing apologetically. “I’m starved though.”
"Want some Monty’s then?” He buckles his seatbelt, surefire of your response. He’s already halfway down the road before you could nod.
“Good grub.” He smiles with his mouth full of a burger and a drink in his hand. Fingers greasy, windswept, and overdressed, you both had your usual order and had opted to sit outside the restaurant.
“Y’know, this is probably more fun than the fancy place anyway.” You both were full of laughs and life experiences to share. A good portion of your meal was spent gazing above too, admiring the pretty stars.
“Just as delicious too.” He rolled his eyes in delight, throwing down a couple more fries and a sip from his drink. You agreed, mentally cataloging this memory to remember forever.
It felt like one of those romance movies.
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strangerquinns · 9 months
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Hey sorry to ask this again but u wanted to ask
Do you have a masterlist for the grayson dolan x reader demon au [sorry I forgot the name lol]
If you do can you give me the link please
I never got to read the whole thing 😔
No, just the links in my masterlist if the links are broken within the posts I’ll try to fix them when I can
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sweetestgrethan · 1 year
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La Danse Éternel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Dolan Twins, Grayson Dolan, Ethan Dolan, Youtube RPF
Ratings: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ethan Dolan/Grayson Dolan
Characters: Ethan Dolan, Grayson Dolan
Additional Tags: Incest, Twincest, Ethan Dolan, Grayson Dolan, Teacher-Student Relationship, Ballet AU, Ballet Dancer Ethan Dolan, Teacher Grayson Dolan, Alternate Universe- Not Related, Bottom Ethan Dolan, Top Grayson Dolan, Older Man/Younger Man, One Shot, Mutual Pining, Size Difference
Summary: “Is this your way of apologizing for not warming up properly?” Grayson joked.
“Um, no, I…” Ethan trailed off, wishing he had something good to say in return. “Just wanted to see how deep this teacher’s pet thing goes."
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poguesholland · 3 years
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No pressure but if you have time do you think you could ever write something about waking up really early one day with gray? Like you’re chilly and snuggle into him and wake up slow and just lovey and go for a walk around the neighborhood with sledge and some coffee. Idk domestic boyfriend Grayson is just so cute to me 🥺🥰
Gets a bit steamy at one point but I hope you like it!
-
Your eyes flutter open to be faced with a window, covered in snow. Currently, you were in New Jersey with your boyfriend, Grayson, as he visited his family. You loved coming to New Jersey, it was just so different from where you lived. It was peaceful. And you loved visiting Lisa, Graysons Mom.
Graysons arm was draped over your waist, looser than how it was last night yet still making sure you stayed close to him. His face rested against your shoulder, feeling the small breaths he takes against your skin. You shuffle a bit in place to have a better look outside the window and admire the December weather.
You feel Grayson shift a bit behind you before the arm around your waist tightens it’s grip, pulling you closer to him. A smile finds its way to your face as Grayson hides his face in the crook of your neck, peppering kisses all over. You giggle at the ticklish sensation before turning around to face your handsome boy.
You move your leg to be across Graysons waist and lay down on top of him, sort of straddling him. His hands go to your waist, sliding up the fabric of his shirt which you wore to sleep, to rest against your bare stomach giving you goosebumps. A hand of yours goes to cup Graysons face as he sleepily looks at you with admiration.
“G’Morning baby” Grayson yawns leaning into your palm, closing his eyes to savor this feeling. Smiling softly at his sleepy state, you lean in to leave a deep kiss on his lips. “Good morning, my love” You whisper against his lips, making Grayson smile and lean in to kiss you once more. Your hand tangles in his soft curls as your head rests on his chest, looking up at him.
“It’s snowing” You say, raising your eyebrows as Grayson grins widely. His hands trace random shapes onto your bare skin, the feeling making you relaxed. “Maybe we could take a walk?” He suggests and you hum a quiet ‘okay’. Both of you peacefully take in this lovely moment, a moment where you and no responsibilities or worries. Just here with one another.
That didn’t last long as you heard scratching against the bottom of the bed, looking down to see none other than Sledge, Grayson and Ethan’s dog. But from how much he adores you and Kristina, anyone would think he’s your dog. You quickly sit up to straddle Grayson, reaching down to carry Sledge up onto the bed.
“Gooodd Morning, my perfect boyy, I missed you so much. Yes I did, yes I did!” You exclaim excitedly, as you kiss Sledge all over his face. He gets excited, licking you to give you a kiss. Grayson could not bring himself to understand how you could kiss the dog directly on the lips, he could barely let the furry animal lick him.
Sledge leans up to lick Graysons face, tail wagging with excitement as Grayson smiled widely. “Good morning to you too, was hoping to have a little alone time with my girlfriend but I can share if you want” He talks to the dog, making you giggle.
Sledge lays his head on Graysons thigh, closing his eyes in content as you pet him. “Look at how cute he is! Oh my god, I just wanna eat him up!” You ramble to Grayson at the sight of the dog, making him laugh. Little did you know he was looking at you with the same look of admiration you were giving Sledge, his heart warming at the sight of you bonding with his dog.
“Can Sledge come with us on our walk? Please, I promise I won’t let go of his leash and he won’t get lost again! I even got him that adorable winter outfit with an ice cap and everything, Gray please-” You whine and Grayson laughs, leaving a kiss on your head. “Of course baby, we just need to get dressed”.
You got up and took out your warmest pair of sweatpants and one of Graysons hoodies, taking out a scarf and ice cap for you and Grayson. You weren’t wearing anything under Graysons shirt which you had slept with, so once you took it off, Grayson whistled making you blush. “Stop, Gray!” You whine making him chuckle.
He gets up from the bed to stand behind you as you looked through your closet for gloves, arms wrapping around your bare waist. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, leaving slow kisses from your jaw to your shoulder, his scruff tickling you. “On second thought, maybe we could stay in instead?” Grayson mumbles. You let out a sigh of content as you leaned back into Graysons bare chest, indulging in the feeling of his mouth on your skin.
Graysons hands trail up to your breasts, as he cups them lightly making your breath hitch in your throat. “Gray” You whimpered as you turned your head to face him, leaning in to connect your lips. You hum into the kiss as his fingers brush over your hardening buds, making your head spin.
Suddenly, Sledge barks loudly from the bed, interrupting the two of you. “Do you have to be such a cockblock all the time Sledge?” Grayson groans into the kiss, earning a giggle from you. You run your hands through his hair and pull away from him, “C’mon, get dressed so we can go”.
And both of you get dressed ten minutes later, now having finished dressing Sledge up. You went downstairs to pour some cereal into two bowls for Grayson and you, filling up two glasses of water as well.
Grayson and you quickly finish the breakfast and put on your shoes, along with your winter coats. You put Sledge’s leash on, with some difficulty due to his excitement. As you walk out, Grayson shuts the door behind you. He lightly jogs to reach you, his hand wrapping around your waist to keep you close to him.
He leans down to kiss your cheek, “Coffee?”, knowing you already want coffee. “Coffee”. You head to a small coffee stand and order, Grayson pays for your drinks which you thank him for. You wait for your drink as Sledge tries to run around to escape the leash he had on. “You love walks that much, huh buddy?” Grayson chuckles as he leans down to pet the dog. A smile finds its way onto your face before you take the coffee, thanking the barista and handing Grayson his coffee.
Snuggling up to Grayson, you walk around the snowed out streets of Jersey. “God, I forget how much I miss living in Jersey” Grayson let’s out, eyes scanning the fairytale like scene in front of the both of you. “One day, maybe you will” You hum and he squeezes your waist. “We will” He corrects you as you blush, resting your head on his shoulder.
“That’s very confident of you to say about the future” You joke and he shrugs. “You are my future” Grayson replies softly as you both stop walking. “You think about stuff like that?” You almost whisper, feeling your heart warming by the second. “Yeah, ‘Course I do” Grayson mumbles, his hands resting on your hips to bring you closer to him.
He notices your blush, smiling lightly. “When we get married, we’ll move to Jersey. We’ll get three dogs, that I’ll hopefully not be allergic to, we’ll have kids — have a huge family, if y’want to it’s your body of course — take walks every day and grow old together with Sledge” Grayson continues, and you look at him in awe. “I really won the jackpot with you, didn’t I?” You laugh lightly, a hand of yours going to Graysons neck to lightly pull him towards you and kiss him softly.
He leans his head down, deepening your kiss. “I love you so much” Grayson mumbles into the kiss and you connect your lips once more. “I love you so much more” You let out, your eyes staring into his captivating hazel orbs. He smiles lightly, before turning his attention back to Sledge who had began to get a bit bored.
Sledge begins to get a bit tired, which you take notice of, so you pick him up and try to cheer him up. “Look, Sledge! Everything’s so pretty here!” You point out to him, not even noticing that you were using your baby voice. Grayson takes his phone out to take a picture of you as you were totally unaware, setting it as his lock screen.
He really had everything he needed at this very moment. And he hoped that in the future, he could still be able to say the exact same sentence with you by his side, always.
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livexdolan · 3 years
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Frat!Grayson Concept train - Masterlist
(Gif credits go to the wonderful @vintagedolan)
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Part 1: Y/n’s been keeping a secret from Grayson for years. Now it’s come out and everyone’s either physically or emotionally paying for it
Part 2: time for a road trip. Time to move on and keep pushing forward. Until y/n finds out she’s going to be stuck next to the one person she’s trying to move on from.
Part 3: the tension between y/n and Grayson comes to a head. Grayson admits to something that causes a physical confrontation, just not the one you’re expecting.
The Lodge Inspo
Part 4: The gang finally arrives at the cabin- something surprising waits for them. Grayson and Ethan confess a secret. Y/n’s feelings are hurt. Again. Grayson and Y/n finally have a talk- but does it do more harm than good?
Part 5: Y/n and Grayson are starting to feel frustrated by physical and emotional problems. After the rest of the group arrives- tensions rise as the two are forced into confronting each other. Y/n realizes she can’t run from her feelings any longer.
Part 6: Grayson and y/n have an important talk. Both learn what jealousy really is and how jeopardizing it can be.
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Meant to be (G.D.)
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Summary: There is a reason why the road not travelled seems more appealing, why the past might trick us into believing if we had made different choices, or just done one thing differently, that our lives would be better for it. There is a reason they say ‘Careful what you wish for’ and Grayson is about to find out exactly what it means to have all his dreams come true. Question is, what’s the cost?
Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, sexual innuendoes, angst, fluff
Word count: 21k
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Regrets are a weight on the heart and a curse on the mind. They bring out the past over and over again, always tormenting its victims with what ifs and promises of a better life. But it always comes at a cost, it always asks for a sacrifice. It drags its victim away from the beauty of their life, forcing them to wonder...
What if…
It's only two words, six letters, but they can change a person. ‘What if’ is a reminder of all the mistakes, of all the roads not taken and while they may not be as good as reality, one would always ponder on the possibility of something more.
What if...
What if..
What if?
For Grayson, his ‘what if’ had always been a little down the road, back when he was just a teenager and his choices were far simpler. Life was simpler, happier.
Becoming a YouTuber didn't entirely fulfill the dreams he once had. It gave him money, women, fame, but it took away his peace of mind and a quiet suburban life with the love of his life.
At least he found the love of his life. Or so he hopes. 
He's been wrong too many times before to dare say the L word now, but being with Ella feels right. Almost right. He'll never get his perfect life even if she is the one and it has nothing to do with her but the choices he's made before they ever met.
Too often would Grayson watch her sleep and question if he should feel guilty about his ‘what if’. Would she judge him for the inner workings of his mind? Would she feel like their relationship is a lie? Like she isn’t enough? 
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Her raspy voice brings a smile on his face and the thoughts aren't as loud as they were before. No one could ever quiet Grayson’s mind like Ella can. It’s as easy as breathing for her, a single look sent his way and Grayson couldn’t focus on anything other than Ella. 
"Some past choices." Grayson never lied to Ella. When they met, she demanded he be honest with her, always. 
Reluctant, Grayson shared his earnest opinions and in time, he realized Ella is right; honesty is the best policy. It helped their relationship develop on a solid foundation, allowing them to grow together. For once, Grayson didn’t want to date every girl with a heartbeat, his attention focused elsewhere - on Ella.
"Like what?" She tilts her head up, her chin resting on his chest and her brown eyes meet his, a look he always cherished. Ella was always quiescent, a snowflake that he protected with his life.
She had the kind of eyes that made a man weak in the knees and while she was bitter about the mundane color, Grayson never saw a more beautiful shade. There was nothing mundane about her.
"Like the time Ethan and I thought we'd go to that private school on a sports’ scholarship." Sighing, Grayson runs his fingers down her back, playing with the strap of her bra. It's black and lacy, the kind she'd wear to seduce him and yet she's not trying. Ella could sense Grayson needs intimacy, conversation, not sex. She knew him so well, read him like an open book.
"If you did that, you'd probably never be a YouTuber. You wouldn't have the money, the fame, the experiences you have now." Biting her lip, she pauses before speaking timidly, "You wouldn't have the people you have now." 
Swallowing thickly, Grayson noticed the sudden change in her demeanor, the flicker of hurt in those earthy hues enough to make him realize she's thinking of the possibility of them not meeting.
“You really think you can get rid of me that easily?” He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as her expression dulled. 
Grayson wasn’t sure if he believed it, but Ella did and he had to remind her, to make her smile so he wouldn’t feel like he’s drowning in the unshed tears forming in her eyes. 
“You always say that people who are meant to be", Grayson starts and she rolls her eyes playfully, a small smile appearing on her lips.
"Will find their way in the end, I know." Groaning, she rolls on her back, her head resting on her pillow. 
Raising an eyebrow, Grayson moves to his side, towering over her with a lopsided grin. "Should I be upset you just chose your pillow over my chest?"
"Should I be upset you're thinking of a life without me?" She challenges, her left eye narrowing ever so slightly as she stares at him. It's as if she's daring him to move, to take these thoughts out of her head. After so many obstacles they’ve managed to overcome, she couldn’t help the hurt his admission caused. She never once thought about anything other than a life with him.
"I don't think of a life without you, Ella", Grayson's smile falls, his voice deeper, "I believe we would have met either way. You're everything", lowering his head on her chest, his hand rests on her stomach, "We are meant to be."
Fingers treading through his hair, Ella sighs, "I think you're wrong. To be meant for someone means more than just meeting each other. It's the circumstances, it's the experiences that have shaped your preferences and character."
"I'd still fall for your pretty eyes and crazy laugh", Grayson argues, his eyes focusing on the birthmark between her breasts, yet another thing she hated and he loved about her. That would never change.
"I'm not sure I'd go for a jock tho", she states and his head snaps up to meet her gaze only to notice her lips twitching in an attempt to suppress a laugh. Just as she sees the questioning gaze, Ella bursts into laughter, coercing Grayson to do the same. He loved her witchy like cackle she calls a laugh, it's impossible not to laugh when he hears it.
And so, with a laugh filled night, Grayson settles beside Ella as he drifts off. Her words run through his head, wondering if it's true. 
Would they still be together if he hadn't moved to Los Angeles to be an influencer?
As his consciousness fades, Grayson mutters under his breath, completely unaware that his life would forever be changed.
"I wish Ethan and I got the scholarship."
There’s a reason they say be careful what you wish for and Grayson was about to learn the hard way.
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"Ugh", Grayson moans, feeling like death. His head hurts, his muscles are aching as if he had run a marathon and his mouth is dry.
"Ella?" He calls out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he rolls on his back, "Babe, I think I'm sick."
"You're not sick, you're hungover", Ethan chuckles and Grayson's eyes open wide.
"Fuck you talking about?" He squints and raises an eyebrow, noticing Ethan in a bed just a few feet away. His lips part, eyebrows furrowing as a faded scar between them becomes prominent.
"You drank a shit ton." Ethan reminds him, throwing a shirt his way.
Shaking his head, Grayson realizes it isn't a shirt, not when his last name is on the back of it right above a number.
"This isn't funny, E", Grayson breathes out, eyes fixed on the jersey in his hands. "Where is Ella?"
Sitting up, Ethan shrugs, "That the girl you were messing around with last night?"
Closing his eyes, Grayson feels his heart sink. "Messing around?" 
He wouldn't hurt Ella that way, would he?
"Since when do you even remember their names? What happened to hit it and quit it?" Ethan asks, standing up to grab his phone and Grayson scoffs.
"Now I know you're fucking with me, I'm a one woman man now. You know I'm with Ella. You can end the prank here because I really feel off." Grayson grimaced with the shooting pulsating pain in his head intensifying, wincing as he rubbed his temples to soothe the pain.
Ethan steps closer, concerned for his brother who is looking around the room with confusion. "Did you hit your head or something?"
"I dunno, maybe." Rubbing his forehead, Grayson sighs, "I have a major headache and I need Ella, okay? Where is she?" Standing abruptly, Grayson frightens Ethan into a backward stumble. "Ella?!"
"Fuck, I knew coach should have sent you to the doc!" Ethan runs his fingers through his hair, genuinely scared for Grayson.
Growling in frustration, Grayson reaches for Ethan, his fingers gripping the thin fabric of his shirt as he forcefully pulls him closer, "Cut the shit, where is she?! Huh?!"
Raising his arms in mock surrender, Ethan shakes his head, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Eyes wide, Ethan pushes Grayson. It's not as forceful in fear of hurting him but enough to get the message across. "You never even mentioned an Ella before."
Releasing Ethan, Grayson stumbles back to the bed. Sitting down, a heavy sigh passes his lips as his eyes fall to his feet. His bare feet. "What the", pausing Grayson blinks fast, "Where's my Tame tattoo?!"
"Tattoo? You better not have a fucking tattoo!", Ethan rubs his chin, trying to understand what is happening. "I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR!" Rushing out of the room, Ethan slams the door behind him.
Lips quivering, Grayson takes his shirt off only to find his chest, his arms are void of tattoos. "No, no, no." Pulling his sweats down, he finds his legs just as bare, no ink he had invested years in. "No, NO, NO!"
Scrambling to the bathroom, he stops in front of a mirror only to find his hair is shorter, dark circles around his eyes are prominent and his lips chapped. Flashing his teeth, he finds no tooth gems, "Those cost a fortune!"
"Bro, we gotta get you to a hospital!" Ethan mumbles, running around to find something to wear while Grayson pales. His hands are shaky, his entire body trembling and he can't help but wonder if Ella was just a fever dream he had.
Or this is?
In what world does he still share a bedroom with Ethan? The tattoos, the gems, the jewelry! He didn't even have a hole for an earring!
And Ella? His sweet brown-eyed Ella with the heart of gold? What of her? If there's one thing he's sure of is that he isn't creative enough to dream up someone as perfect as her.
"C'mon, they'll do a CT as soon as we get in." Ethan waves him over, only then noticing Grayson is in his briefs. "Seriously?!"
Groaning, Ethan grabs him by the forearm and pulls him along, throwing clothes in his face.
"I know you're freaking out or whatever but we need to hurry! It's been a day since you took that nasty fall and I know you said you were okay but THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY!" Rambling, Ethan stopped. Taking a few deep breaths, he turns to Grayson with tears brimming his eyes. "You’re my brother and I can't lose you."
Nodding, Grayson presses his lips together. He'd argue, ask him if this is some elaborate prank again but it doesn't feel like one. It feels real and that is what scares him. So, reluctantly, Grayson does as Ethan says and he puts on the clothes, following him to the door.
He wasn't sure what to expect, but Grayson finds himself with raised eyebrows and a concerned look on his face once he sees the state of the house they're in. There are people lying around, red cups and beer bottles everywhere and he could have sworn he saw a few used condoms on the floor as well.
"Where the fuck are we?" Grayson whispers and Ethan pales.
"The frat house. We've lived here for three years Grayson!"
Running his fingers through his hair, Grayson has to suppress a groan as he realizes just how short it is. He's used to his floppy hair, it relieved his anxiety to run his hands through his hair and Ella loved to tug on his hair too. She never said anything about the length, so maybe it’s the feeling of her tugging his hair while he goes down on her is for his own pleasure, but he likes to believe she enjoyed it too.
"You said I hurt my head?" Grayson tries, hoping to understand.
"Yeah, during football practice yesterday. Ryan tackled you because you fucked his girlfriend."
Inhaling, Grayson's eyes widen, "The fuck?" 
So far, Grayson understood one thing: that he understands nothing.
-------
“All the scans came back clear. What kind of symptoms are you experiencing?” 
Grayson glances at Ethan, his mind torn. If he admits to what seems to be a crazy theory about him waking up in some hell dimension, the doctor might put him in the psych ward and throw away the key, but if he doesn’t and all the memories of his life and…Ella’s love are just a symptom of his fall, then he might deter the doctor from a proper diagnosis. 
But as Grayson swallows thickly, he shakes his head. Even if everything was a lie, a symptom, is who Ethan says he is truly who he’d want to be? 
From what Grayson gathered, he is a womanizer with no respect for women or their feelings, he’s an egomaniac and very likely has an STD by now. He sounds like a guy with commitment issues and a nasty personality considering he’s been sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend. 
“Just a headache.”
Ethan’s jaw slacks, his eyes narrowing at Grayson, “Are you sure?” He’s speaking from a confused, angered place and Grayson can tell Ethan is about to blow his cover. 
“I’m sure.” Grayson speaks through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared as he gives Ethan a pointed look. “I’m perfectly fine, just had a wild night and a nasty fall. I’ll take a few pills and be fine by Monday.”
“Alright. I’ll clear you to play next week, but keep the head safer next time.” 
A tight lipped smile on Grayson’s face did nothing to alleviate Ethan’s anger. He had brought his brother in for good reason and he just lied to the doctor’s face. Truth be told, Ethan is worried Grayson is having a psychotic break. Instead of ratting him out, Ethan decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and a single day to reassess the situation again. 
Once in the car, Ethan turns to Grayson with raised eyebrows. “Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?”
Shrugging, Grayson swipes his thumb across his bottom lip, wincing as he does. “Do I have a busted lip too?” 
“Cut the crap, Gray, what the fuck is happening?” Ethan fixes his eyes on Grayson, refusing to start the car before getting a concrete answer to his many questions. “You’re acting like a totally different person. It’s like you’re an alien possessing my brother’s body and I don’t know who the fuck this Ella is but if she did some magic voodoo thing to you, we got a witch to burn!”
Gasping for a breath, Ethan stops but his eyes narrow as Grayson cackles at him and his rant. 
“THIS IS NOT FUNNY, GRAYSON!”
A hand over his chest, Grayson leans back. Attempting to stifle his laugh, he nods, “I know! I know”. Sniffling, Grayson lets out a long sigh before looking to his brother. “If I tell you, you’d think I’m crazy and I’m not! I swear I’m not!”
Licking his lips, Ethan leans back in his seat. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Ethan can’t help the curiosity bubbling up to the surface. Whatever it is, it can’t be that crazy, can it?
“If I promise to listen to you, will you tell me?”
Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Grayson shrugs, “Only if you stop freaking out too.”
“FINE”, Ethan exclaims just as Grayson finishes his sentence, willing to hear his side of the story.
“I think I’m in an alternative universe. Like something got fucked and I’m now in an alternative universe because where I come from we aren’t frat boys with a drinking problem.”
Clearing his throat, Ethan motions with his hand for Grayson to elaborate.
“We moved to Los Angeles in our freshman year of high school and did YouTube and we got famous and rich and I had the most beautiful girlfriend. I was with her and then I woke up here.”
Tapping his fingers on his knee, Grayson looks out of the window, biting his lower lip. “She, uh…She means a lot to me.”
“Okay.” Ethan states, starting the engine.
“Okay?” Grayson furrows his eyebrows, lips parted.
“Yeah, okay. I believe you.” Ethan drew his lower lip between his lips, tapping his hands on the wheel.
Leaning forward, Grayson’s frown deepens, “Just like that?”
“Look, I don’t know Ethan from your universe, but I’m a believer in alternative universes and I do think you’re not exactly my brother. He’s just…different.” Glancing at Grayson, Ethan sighs, “You two are very different."
“Alright, so you want him back, right? You’re gonna help me?” Grayson’s excitement is palpable, enough for Ethan to roll his eyes.
“No, I’ll leave him in an alternative universe with millions at his disposal while I deal with you”, Ethan states, the sarcastic undertones unmistakable. Grayson can’t help but snort, smiling to himself. Even in an alternative universe, Ethan is a sarcastic conspiracy theorist. 
“Any idea where we could start, genius?” Ethan snaps his fingers, irritated with Grayson’s tendency to get lost in his thoughts. 
Grayson’s face blanks, “No clue.”
“How about that Ella you keep mentioning? She your girlfriend?” Ethan doesn’t need to ask twice as he glances at the shit eating grin on Grayson’s face upon the mere mention of her name. “You say you care about her. Are you sure you’re not in love?”
Grayson licks his lips, “I don’t know. How does anyone really know?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious when you fall in love. If you can’t answer that, you might have never truly loved anyone.” Ethan’s words hit home. 
While it sounds callous, it’s also true – did Grayson ever really loved any of the girls he was with? They all seemed like the right one at some point. He told them he loves them, but did he really? In the end, they were all forgotten in a week or two, but Ella? He refused to tell her he loves her even when he thought he did. The word had become cheap, she deserved better ones. 
Is that love? Wanting to find better words to express your feelings? Words that are more than what most throw around like ‘Hello’? Words worthy of the way the mere thought of them brings a smile upon one’s face or their voice makes one’s heart race? 
“Have you ever loved someone?” Grayson asks, curious of his brother’s life. Even if he’s not his Ethan, he is Ethan. 
“Once. It didn’t last, but I did love her.” 
Figuring Ethan isn’t quite ready to talk more on the subject, Grayson decides to drop it. He shouldn’t upset him just for his selfish gain. “I think this happened because I wished to know what would have happened if we never went to Los Angeles and took the scholarships at that private school we were interested in.” 
He wished for his old dreams to come true, and they did. But at what cost?
“You wished for this?!” Ethan raises his voice, letting a little of his frustration out.
“I didn’t know it would actually happen!” Grayson defends, pressing his lips together once he realizes raising his voice isn’t going to do him any favors. “I’m guessing we took those scholarships in this universe?
“Yeah. We got into college on football scholarships but we play lacrosse too.” Ethan tells him, “Wrestling didn’t pan out as we wanted.”
“I met Ella in LA, so that’s probably why she’s not here.” Grayson rubs his temples, closing his eyes shut.
“So? Look her up. If she’s not a dream, she’s gonna be on social media.” Ethan suggests. 
Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, Grayson nods. His eyebrows furrow as he opens up Instagram on his phone. Typing in her username comes up blank. Typing in her name comes out blank.
"Why can't I find her?!" Frustrated, he hits the dash and Ethan huffs, not happy with the way Grayson is treating the car. It may be a flaming pile of shit, but it gets them from point A to point B.
"You're saying you dreamed up a girl you think is real?" Ethan’s not convinced Ella exists. If anything, he’s still a little weirded out with the idea of Grayson not really being his Grayson. He’s trying to believe it all, to trust him on his word and to trust his instincts screaming at him, but it’s hard. It’s really hard.
"She is real!" Grayson exclaims, half panicked as he’s beginning to doubt himself as well. What if Ella found someone else? If he wasn’t there that day they met, who was? 
Glancing at a frustrated Grayson, Ethan feels pity. He may not be his Grayson, but he’s still his brother. In a way. "Google her then."
"If her Instagram account doesn't exist, why would anything exist then? Huh?" What Grayson truly worries about is, what if something happened to her? Maybe she did exist at some point but doesn’t anymore?
"Maybe because it’s Google? Google knows all. If she’s not on there, she was a dream bro." Ethan reasons, parking the car. He turns to Grayson, watching him. Grayson’s pensive, filled with a thousand emotions he cannot put into words and Ethan understands him. He does. 
"Wait...She only got Instagram to follow me! She admitted that!" Grayson exclaims, a little too excited while Ethan remains unimpressed.
"Bro, I love you, but you sound douchier than usual." And that says a lot since he’s been dealing with his douche of a brother. His Grayson is the definition of a douchebag. 
"No, no, she really told me that. So...she wouldn't be in LA either because she said we inspired her to move to follow her dream which would mean she’s back home!" 
Raising his eyebrows, Ethan’s eyes widened, "We inspired her?"
"Yeah, she said if two snotty teenagers could move to LA and make it just by filming videos of themselves she could surely get her book deal." Grayson says it with a smile, feeling nostalgic.
Ethan snorts, "She sounds supportive."
"She really is though." And with that, Ethan notes how Grayson’s voice is warmer when he speaks of Ella. That’s definitely not his brother. His Grayson doesn’t soften up when he speaks about girls unless it’s about Gizmo, their pet bird.
"She’d never tell anyone about the book, but I know she’s been writing it since she was 16 and she actually sold it!" Grayson is also proud of her, boasting about it as if it’s his own success. Ethan can’t help but smile.
"So look for her with that info, you do know where she is from, right?"
"Michigan." The word barely passes his lips as Ethan punches his shoulder, "Owh, what the hell E?!"
"We are in fucking Michigan!" Throwing his arms in the air, Ethan shakes his head. The pent up craziness of the day is starting to drive him up the wall and he can’t even be sure what’s real and what’s not anymore. ”We’re literally Michigan Wolverines!”
"Seriously?! She might be in the same school then!" Clapping his hands, Grayson opens the car door. He jumps out, wildly looking around the parking lot, hoping he’d see her black hair swaying with the wind.
"You're giving me a headache, I hope she's nicer than you." Ethan mumbles, leaning his forearms on the roof of the car, his car door still open.
"You two have been iffy a bit, but you loved her E.”, Grayson turns to him, grinning, “You said it yourself, you love her like a sister but if she touches your vegan rolls again you'd burn the house to the ground."
Lips parting, Ethan’s nose crinkles, "Vegan? She can have them all, why would I fight her on that?!"
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't tell me we aren't vegan."
"We are jocks, Grayson, chicken is our religion." Ethan reminds him as he closes the car door, locking it. Walking around the car, he chuckles at Grayson who grumbles about it.
"Just great."
Running a hand through his hair, Ethan averts his eyes to the ground. The pavement is still wet, a reminder of the stormy night from before. "Do I have anyone in your world?"
Grayson smirks, "An Australian model."
"WHAT?!" Ethan steps in front of Grayson, stopping him. 
"Yeah, my reaction too when she decided to date you." Grayson chuckles, amused with the shocked, slightly jealous expression on Ethan’s face.
"Bro, I want an Australian model!"
Laughing wholeheartedly at the whining, Grayson shrugs, "You have her. Well, the other you does."
Throwing his hands up in the air, for the second time in the past ten minutes, Ethan walks ahead, “Fuck this shit.”
Smiling fondly at his brother’s back, Grayson sighs, “At least I know you’re extra here too.”
“What?!” Ethan glances at him over his shoulder and Grayson shakes his head, “NOTHING!”
--
As days passed, Grayson realized one thing: time has its own flow and in that its own beauty, for no man can command it to halt, it can only pass with unique divinity. It’s only been a few nights since he woke up in this strange universe and while days were easy to survive as he spent them on the field and Monday brought classes, nights were much less forgiving.
He misses her – his Ella. 
Time, just as love, is unchangeable – it is there at the end as it was at the start and Grayson doesn’t know how to accept that he might never see Ella again.
He finds himself scribbling her name instead of class notes on his first day of college, attempting to draw her – but the shade of brown in her eyes is never quite right. No matter how hard he tries, nothing he draws will ever come close to the warmth and understanding her eyes and smile held. No one can ever replace the comforting relief that would wash over him whenever she would squeeze his hand or run her fingers through his hair. 
Simply, no one can compare to Ella. No one, possibly not even the alternative universe her…if she exists.
Sighing, Grayson leans back on the tree he sat under. He closes the textbook with her name written a dozen times to give himself reprieve. Being there without her is torment, a special kind of hell Grayson never dreamed he’d be stuck in. 
Ethan has helped him adjust as much as possible, but it seems as if he can never truly fit into this life.
This Grayson is a douchebag, whoring his way through campus with a bottle of tequila in hand and no one bats an eye as long as he scores the winning touchdown. His grades are an average C, but it took him less than a single day to find out it’s because the professors are giving him special treatment. He’s not exactly a model student and plenty of his classmates were surprised he even attended lectures today.
Closing his eyes, he tries to ignore the words in his head reminding him this is karma. He has done enough to get himself rejected from his own timeline and universe. 
Truth be told, he’s ashamed. He wasn’t much better before meeting Ella, either. He’d whore his way through Los Angeles, the difference being non-disclosure agreements he had the girls sign. He might have been sober, but he was drunk on adrenaline of fame that he had given into different obsessions. He became paranoid, mistrustful, hateful and treated his friends as if they owed him something for being a part of his life.
When Ella came around, he changed. It took a while, but Grayson thought he was finally worthy of her. 
Now? Grayson finally understands what she meant when she told him she might not like him as a jock. He didn’t like himself as a jock.
“Hey, six-pack?!”
Grayson’s eyes open wide, his breath caught in his throat as he recognizes that voice. Only one person he knows has that kind of a voice – a raspy voice that is the base of all his happy memories. 
And there she is, Ella – his Ella. Her long black hair is shorter in this universe, falling to her shoulders in waves. Her eyes are just as beautiful as he remembers them to be, like melted honey on a warm sunny day. Her lips are curled into a small smile, gentle yet cautious. 
“Ella?” He breathes out, his hands beginning to shake and she can tell. 
Ella raises an eyebrow, confused as to why would the cockiest man she ever met feel so nervous to see her. He seems to be shocked, maybe even relieved – a contradictory Grayson never was. Not to her knowledge. She always saw him as a one dimensional being – an asshole without a cause. 
“Wanted to bring this back to you”, she reaches into her backpack – a flower themed green backpack she had when they first met. 
Back then, she was but a stranger with a very pissed off look on her face when he slammed into her on the beach as he attempted to catch a ball Ethan sent flying way above his head. He remembers her yelling at him as if it were yesterday, but he also remembers her laughing when he asked for her number when she was done with yelling, breathless. He bought her an ice cream and apologized and ever since then, Grayson never looked at another.
Ella tosses a jersey in his face and Grayson quickly stands up, holding the jersey in his hands. 
“Wait, how do you have this?” He looks at the number – 33 – his number.
Raising both eyebrows, Ella’s eyes widened for a split second, “Wow, you were really drunk off your ass that night, weren’t you?” Leaning in, she steps on her tiptoes as Grayson holds his breath, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that Grayson Dolan actually did something decent for a change.”
She turns on her heel, taking a few steps further before Grayson’s senses return to him. “Ella, wait!”
“And he remembers my name? I’m impressed!” She giggles, not even turning around as she heard his heavy footsteps just behind her. “Though I don’t remember telling you my name.” That’s when she stops, hands on her hips as she looks at Grayson who looks like he’s lost. “How do you know my name?”
“How do you have my jersey? I asked first”, Grayson reminds her with a lopsided grin and she purses her lips to stop a smile from spreading. While Ella might not be Grayson’s biggest fan, she’s not blind – he’s extremely good looking.
“The other night at the party mean anything to you?” She raises an eyebrow, waiting for Grayson to respond but he just shrugs, a red tint slowly coloring her cheeks. It’s not something he’s used to as Ella was always tan from the LA sun, but she’s much paler than usual.
“Some asshole pushed me in the pool and my shirt got wet and it was very see through. I panicked and ran and stumbled upon you and for some reason you weren’t an asshole about it and lent me the jersey without even trying to stare at my boobs.” Licking her lips, Ella narrows her eyes at Grayson, “Which was very weird, are you alright? Nobody's body snatched you?”
Chuckling, Grayson shakes his head, eyes fixed on Ella. He can’t look away, not even if he tried. “I’m trying to be better.”
“You? Better?” Biting her lower lip, Ella steps closer, “I really wanna believe that”, her raspy voice is like stardust to Grayson. 
He loves hearing her talk, words are her finishing touch to the emotions she usually suppresses but only ever shared with him. It took forever for her to open up to him, but even then it wasn’t as often. So yes, Grayson wished he could tell her how much he would like to listen to her talk. It doesn’t matter what’s it about – something, nothing, he just wants her to talk to him.
Taking her hand, Grayson hears her gasp. He places her palm on his chest, right above his heart. “Please do. I need you to believe in me.” His lips are parted, his eyes clinging to her like a dying man clings to his last breath and she’s looking back at him, her hand is touching him and she’s not fighting the touch.
Until she breaks out in laughter, “That’s a good line! Do you use that on all your little flings?” 
Stepping away from him, she bites her lower lip, almost disappointed. “Don’t spend your best lines on me, Quarterback, I’m not easily swayed and my heart is taken by someone else.”
Sobering words splash into Grayson’s senses as if they were icy water. “Someone else?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna leave you before someone spreads unflattering rumors about us.” Turning away, Ella takes three more steps before glancing at Grayson over her shoulder. She doesn’t know why she did it, but something inside her told her to look back, to stay – even if it’s for a moment. 
“Thank you for the jersey, Grayson. I’ll remember that.”
And as Grayson stood there, watching Ella leave, he reminded himself that everything he wants is on the other side of determination and consistency. He would show her he’s redeemable and he would win her over. It doesn’t matter what universe he’s in, there is never a time he won’t want her – her light, her kindness, her approval. 
Even if everything's made to be broken, Grayson needs her to believe in him. He needs her to know who he is. 
--
“Sometimes I wonder why I’m with you”, Ella huffs. Arms crossed she rolls her eyes at Grayson before laughing, “Your decoration skills need serious improvement!”
“Ah, you got me worried for a moment”, Grayson reaches out for her. Grabbing her by the arm, he pulls her into his lap.
Chuckling, she wraps her arms around his neck, “Why?”
Licking his lips, Grayson looks down, “Because I wonder why you’re with me.”
“For the same reason you’re with me”, she explains and he furrows his eyebrows as his lips form a tight line. The reason he’s with her is because his soul never felt more at home than when she would wrap her arms around him.
“Boobies?” Grayson teases, earning himself an eye roll.
Cupping his left boob, Ella exclaims, “Yes! Yours are almost as big as mine!”
“Idiot!” Grayson grumbles under his breath. Looking back at it, he knew it was a perfect chance to tell her what she means to him and how grateful he is for her presence but he didn’t. He made it into a joke to hide just how much he needs her and she didn’t deserve that. She deserved a man who could speak his mind and share his emotions, not a coward he turned out to be.
“Awee, you’re not an idiot”, Ethan mocks, “Especially not if you help a brother out.”
“I’m not telling you her name, Ethan.” Grayson turns to his other side, determined to salvage what’s left of the night. He couldn’t sleep, not after knowing his Ella hates him. But is she his? How can she be his when she loves someone else? How can she be his when this Ella hadn’t ever been in his arms? Even if she was, she would be the other Grayson’s Ella. Manwhore Grayson’s Ella. Frat boy, jock’s Ella.
It leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. The idea of her with someone else, even another version of himself isn’t easy to stomach.
“But she’s my girlfriend!” Ethan exclaims, throwing a sock at Grayson’s head. A smelly sock.
Covering his nose, Grayson tosses the sock back, “Not in this world she isn’t.”
Flipping Grayson off, Ethan groans. “She could be, ya know? She could be my girlfriend!”
Rolling his eyes, Grayson turns to his back, “Chasing someone else’s love story isn’t exactly something I’d recommend to you.”
“Wouldn’t the other me want to be with his girl in every universe?” Ethan challenges and Grayson raises his eyebrows, “You’re trying to find your girl in this universe, why don’t I get the same courtesy?”
Pressing his lips in a hard line, sadness clouded Grayson’s features, “Kristina Alice.”
Gasping, Ethan’s phone lights up as he searches her name only to sit up once he sees her photo, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHE’S MINE?!”
“YuPP”, Grayson closes his eyes, “Good luck getting her to accept your request.”
“Thanks”, Ethan smiles as he hits the follow button on her Instagram page, desperately hoping she would soon accept his request and he could send her a message. Maybe he has a shot after all.
“Just shut up and let me sleep.” Grayson covers his head with a pillow, turning to the other side where it’s colder.
“What if”, Ethan begins as Grayson groans loudly. Those two words are the last ones he wants to hear. Ever.
“I need to sleep!”
“Sure, but hear me out”, Ethan springs from his bed and sits on Grayson’s, “What if you being here means my brother, real brother, is also in a different universe?”
Uncovering his face, Grayson’s eyes widen as he sits up with a thundering heart, “Like in my universe?”
“Dunno, but I don’t think he would just disappear. The whole laws of physics wouldn’t allow for that to happen. If energies cannot be created or destroyed, perhaps souls can’t either. Maybe he’s in your body or in another universe and that universes’ Grayson is in your body? Maybe all the Grayson’s have switched places?”
Hand on his heart, Grayson could feel the cold sweat forming at the back of his neck, “I’m gonna be sick.”
“You think it’s possible?” Ethan raises his right eyebrow, genuinely curious.
“If it is, some other guy is with my Ella right now and he could be fucking up my life as we speak.”
“Well, depending on the definition of ‘your life’, he could be fucking your life right now.” Ethan’s insinuation didn’t help Grayson fall asleep that night.
If it’s true, another version of him might be holding Ella tightly against him as she unravels under him. Another Grayson, possibly even the manwhore Grayson he’s occupying could be both abusing the privilege of being intimate with Ella and breaking her heart by being intimate with other women in front of her.
Laying awake, staring at the ceiling, Grayson met dawn as an old friend. Dawn signified a new start, a day full of activities that would busy his mind with anything but some look alike hurting the lov…His Ella. Besides, he was looking forward to the day as he planned on seeing this Ella as well. He can’t deny the pull, the gravitational change he feels when he’s close to her. She may not be his Ella in every sense of the word, but she is Ella and she is the light in this darkness.
Morning practice went by fast, allowing him to exercise some of his demons, but it isn’t enough. In the back of his mind is an image, one that is enough to enrage him – an image of his lookalike in bed with his unsuspecting Ella.
Inhaling, he closes his eyes as he settles under the same tree he sat at yesterday. Holding his breath, he waits for the burning sensation of his lungs as they scream for oxygen. Reluctant, he releases the pent up air in a slow exhale.
“Since when is this your hangout place?”
Eyes snapping open, Grayson’s lips part with the familiar raspiness in the voice. “Ella?”
“Still my name”, she smiles before sitting in front of him, book in her hand.
“Sorry”, he breathes out, attempting to smile but he didn’t know if he should smirk or grin and ended up grimacing more than smiling.
“Don’t be. It’s not like the tree has my name on it”, she shrugs as she opens up her book and he frowns, confused.
“What do you mean?”
Pointing to the tree, “It’s my spot. Has been since freshman year and suddenly you’re here.”
Making an ‘O’ shaped face, Grayson’s heart skips a beat. He didn’t even know why he sat under this particular tree, but it was calming him. It felt cozy, safe, a place to gather his thoughts. Upon further evaluation, this tree wasn’t entirely different from other trees, but he chose the same one two days in a row and he had a sneaky suspicion Ella is the reason why he was drawn to it.
If there is no magic in the world, how is he in this universe? If there is no magic in the world, how did he meet her again? If there is no magic in the world, why would he sit under this tree?
Smiling, Grayson realizes – magic exists. Maybe it’s not in the obvious witchy way, but it’s real. Ella made him see that.
“I’m sorry if I was ever a jerk to you.” Gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip, Grayson noticed her surprise when he spoke up, more so with what he said.
“Save your apologies, Quarterback. You weren’t a jerk to me.” Forcing a small smile, she clarifies, “You weren’t anything to me.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she feels her heartbeat quicken as his eyes remain on her. She could see the genuine emotions swirling in his hazel eyes and it caught her off guard. It’s as if he actually means it.
“Look, you’ve been pretty shitty to a lot of people and you’re worshipped regardless. But if you want to be better, you have to take baby steps. It’s never easy to change once you’ve left people with a certain idea of who you are.” Licking her lips, she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. 
Averting her gaze to the book in hand, she tries to hide how his unrelenting gaze is making her nervous. It’s an effort to stop herself from tapping her fingers on the book or to stop herself from running away to take a proper breath she can’t seem to take ever since she decided to sit there. Somehow, Grayson causes a panic in her, not one associated by fear. It’s more about the implications of his longing stares and uncharacteristically kind words.
“Can I start with you?” Grayson leans closer, minding the way she blinks faster as he does as if his proximity is making it harder for her to ignore the need to stay close.
“Why me? What’s so important about me?” Her question catches him off guard and it reminds him of his Ella and the insecurities she always tried to hide. Maybe they’re not so different after all.
“Because I think highly of you.”
Scoffing, she looks away but Grayson can’t ignore the blush spreading across her cheeks. “You don’t even know me.”
“I’m an observant person. I know more than you think and I’m not asking for you to be my friend but maybe a tutor? You could help my grades and my stupid mouth when it goes off?”
Narrowing her eyes at him, Ella’s confusion is stronger than before. No matter what she heard of Grayson, he didn’t seem as bad as people made him seem. He’s trouble, she’s sure of that, but he’s also lost. A part of her wants to help him find what he’s looking for, to help him…fix him, but if she does, she knows she might find herself in dangerous territory. 
Grayson Dolan seems like a guy one would easily fall for, but he also seems like the guy who’d break her heart. Can he even break a heart that’s not his to begin with?
“Tutoring sounds fine.” She speaks, finally breaking the silence and Grayson’s lips stretch into a wide smile on instinct.  “But only tutoring and it’s not for free. I expect you to do something for me too.”
“Anything!”
Drawing a deep breath, she wonders if this is wise. It could backfire in the worst possible way, but she can’t help herself. She has a unique chance to do something she always wanted, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a month.”
Inhaling sharply, Grayson exhales, “Huh?”
Rolling her eyes, she leans closer, “I want to make a guy jealous and who better to do that than the Quarterback.”
Grayson’s heart sinks with her words but he finds himself nodding. It might be the worst thing to agree to but it would put him in her orbit and it would give her a chance to see who he truly is. She might fall for him in the end.
“Alright. Let’s do this.”
--
“So you’re just gonna fake date your girlfriend?” Ethan cocks an eyebrow, a little confused and uncertain of the benefits this deal could possibly bring his brother.
Shrugging, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to put in the effort to make himself look somewhat presentable. “Yeah. It’s not much, but I’m willing to go through with worse if it means I get to hold her hand at the end of the day.”
“What if her plan works and she actually gets with the person you’re supposed to make jealous?” Raising both eyebrows, Ethan flicks Grayson’s ear, “You’ll be worse off than before.”
“It won’t happen!” Grayson exclaims, trying to not murder Ethan. “Fake dating trope always ends with the two realizing their feelings and marrying each other.” 
Smiling at his reflection in the mirror, he nods to himself. It’s the first time in a long time he gave much thought about what he should wear or what his hair looks like but it’s for a good reason. He has to impress Ella. 
“We’re soulmates, E. I know it.”
Huffing, Ethan rolls his eyes, “Chances of that being an actual thing is slim, but let's face the facts. Even if you’re soulmates, you two aren’t necessarily meant to be in every single universe. No one can have their happy ending in every universe. Maybe consider this universe is the one where you don’t get the girl.”
Hands on his hips, Grayson turns to Ethan with a stiff upper lip, “Is this really about me and Ella or about the fact Kristina didn’t accept your follow request?”
Rubbing his forehead, Ethan groans, “Maybe, but it’s a possibility?! I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart if this doesn’t work out. Just…Don’t forget this isn’t your life, okay? What happens when real Grayson comes back and he’s suddenly in a relationship? He’d break Ella’s heart.”
“What if he never returns and I’m stuck here forever? I can’t and will not give up on Ella. Manwhore Grayson needs to man up and I’m preparing the turf in case he returns to this life.”
“Manwhore Grayson?!” Ethan chuckles, “That’s actually who he is. Cameron calls him that!” Wheezing, Ethan throws himself on the bed, hugging a pillow.
Grayson watches, stifling a laugh, “Bro, I wanna smack him so bad!!”
“Get in line! At least half the female population wanna smack his face and the other wants to smack his ass!”
Pursing his lips, Grayson exhales through his nose, or he tries to. It’s been hell living in a body with sinus issues again and he envied whoever is in his body for the ability to breathe freely and without suffering after he had suffered all the pain of two surgeries and multiple rounds of antibiotics.
“Well, I’ll be going then. Don’t wanna keep my girl waiting.” With a lopsided grin, Grayson heads to the door when Ethan speaks up.
“Do you think this would classify as cheating? I mean, she’s Ella but she’s not really your Ella, right?”
Licking his lips, Grayson’s heart sinks. Ethan is right, this Ella might look like his Ella, have her soul, but her personality might be different. So far, Grayson noticed three differences: her ears are pierced though his Ella was terrified of the very idea of having them pierced, she doesn’t seem to wear the red lipstick he loved to smudge and she had black nail polish but his Ella prefers pastels.
Shaking his head, he remembers how it felt to imagine her with manwhore Grayson. It doesn’t feel right and his Ella would probably hate him for this, but something inside him is insisting he must see it through. “I’ll see you later.”
--
Holding his breath and waiting for inevitable doom. This is what Grayson feels like. It’s as if this entire universe is made to torture him. Sure, he wasn’t the best person alive in his universe, but he wasn’t evil either. A part of him couldn't shake the karma aspect of this switch – what did he do that was so bad to warrant a karmic intervention?
“Hey!” Ella’s usual raspy voice is a little higher, pitchy, enough to make Grayson smile. She’s nervous and he’s glad he’s the one that made her nervous. It means she cares, however small it may be.
“You look”, pausing, Grayson raises his eyebrows as his eyes trail down her body, “Incredible!” He lets out a breathless chuckle, watching her cheeks darken. She’s definitely nervous.
“So, uh, what do you need help with”, Ella licks her lips, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes fix on his hand. “Are those….flowers?” Raising an eyebrow, she stifles a smile as Grayson fidgets, scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah…I wanted to do something nice.” Holding the flowers out, he watches her lips twitch as her attempt to keep a smile at bay slowly fails.
The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile as his eyes dropped to the floor, a strangely demure gesture for him, Ella realized. As he looked back at her, moving his hair back with his hand, Ella was momentarily swayed by the dark brown eyes that sparkled up through long, dark lashes that she never noticed before. Perhaps she allowed herself to send a few glances his way in the past, trying to understand why so many girls ventured into his web, and she never quite understood until now.
The way he looks at her as if she’s the source of sunshine in his life, the way he smiles as if her presence sparks joy in his heart and the way he had held her hand over his beating heart had disarmed her and she hated herself for it. 
She fell for his charms and silver tongue as many have before and she likes him. She does. It’s impossible not to like a man as magnificent as Grayson – no matter how messed up he is. 
There will always be a girl willing to stay way too long in hopes of fixing him. He’s a death trap for every woman who looks into his eyes.
“Lilies?” Careful, she reaches for the flowers. Her fingers curl right above his, avoiding touch and the electrifying feelings it could bring to the surface. Ella preferred not to know.
“Your favorite”, Grayson blurts out, his mouth faster than his brain and his eyes widen as Ella’s eyes narrow at him.
“How would you know?”
Hands trembling, Grayson shrugs, “A lucky guess. You’re not a rose kind of a girl because you think roses are cliché.”
Eyebrows furrowing, Ella’s frown deepens, “That sounds more like an educated guess.”
“Am I wrong?” Grayson cocks an eyebrow, his confidence growing as she purses her lips, eyeing him as if she’s reconsidering her previous judgment of him.
“I hate the thorns too”, she states matter of factly, turning her back on him. Glancing over her shoulder, she raises an eyebrow, “Coming? Or am I supposed to take your exams for you, Quarterback?”
With a lopsided grin, Grayson follows after, relishing in her sassy attitude. She must know how it affects him, draws him in. If anyone could tell him to get over his shit and act like a normal human being, it was Ella. Of course, his Ella took a while to open up in a way where she didn’t mind her tongue. His Ella is shy until one gets under her skin, a little more insecure. This Ella is a firecracker from the start, brazen.
For a moment, he feels guilty for liking that about her. He feels guilty for liking this Ella, but it’s still his Ella, is it not? She’s just got a different life experience. 
--
For the first time in his life, Grayson couldn’t stop staring. He was good at hiding his feelings, pushing down anything uncomfortable until he could ignore it, but he couldn’t do it. Not anymore. He sought her out even when she wasn’t close, he yearned for her shy smiles and annoyed eye rolls. He missed each time she’d glance his way and swiftly look away or the way she’d use her hands when she talks about something she’s passionate about. He wanted to see her hands when she’s talking about him, to be passionate about him – with him.
For the first time in his life, Grayson found himself chasing after a girl. She’s out of his league, he’s aware of it. She’s wife material and he isn’t sure he could settle down any time soon, but waiting too long might mean she’ll find someone who is ready for all the things he’d like to have with her. Because no matter how scary it seems to commit when he’s unsure if he’s able to love someone, losing the opportunity to find out seems scarier.
For the first time in his life he wanted to reach out and ask her to hold his hand, to look at him the same way she looks at puppies because he only ever saw her look at them with love. He wants to hear her laugh at his jokes and he wants her to call him out on the shit he does and hold him accountable. He wants her to make an effort because she thinks he deserves to be saved, that he can be fixed. Maybe he should fix himself before asking her to love him, but she makes it better. With her, he finds all he thought he lost before – the will to try and do better.
“Are you okay?” Her voice catches him off guard, her eyes gentle, softer than he thought they could be. 
“You seem a million miles away”, she brushes over the part where he stared at her and he’s grateful. She could have called him a creep and walked away, but she didn’t. Instead, Ella reaches out, her hand resting atop of his and Grayson releases a heavy sigh, as if the weight of the world didn’t press on his chest anymore. It’s as if a single touch of her hand had made him whole.
“I feel better now.” Grayson musters a smile, “You make everything better.”
For the second time in his life, Grayson finds himself staring. Blinking seems so unnatural when his eyes are focused on such beauty as if a single moment lost would prove to be deadly. Not looking at her would make him crumble, blurt out the truth of who he is and how scared he is and how badly he needs her to hold him and say things will be alright. But she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson found himself wishing for a girl to hold his hand, to tell him he’s worth saving. He wants her to smile and blush like she did when she brought his jersey back to him. He wants her to roll her pretty brown eyes and chuckle at him, but she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson is wondering if he’s able to commit to anyone. Is he any better than the manwhore version of him from this alternative universe? 
He’s sitting next to a woman and he craves her attention and approval as if he doesn’t have a woman who offers all that and more. 
Does it really give him any reprieve if they’re the same soul cultivated in different universes? 
Perhaps she’d think it’s cute she captured his attention even in a different setting? Would Ella feel hurt or betrayed if he admitted he likes this version of her, as well?
“Are you okay?” Ella’s raspy voice catches him off guard, not just the sound, but the choice of wording. It’s the orotund tone she uses too; a little uncomfortable, lacking the softness his Ella would use with him. “You’re kinda staring and zoning out and I’m trying to explain this in the easiest way possible.”
Licking his lips, he nods, more to himself than her as he realizes this Ella and his Ella are definitely not the same person. Perhaps they look alike, but his Ella was kinder in a sense. Maybe kinder isn’t the proper word, but empathic?
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a slight headache.” Pushing his hair back, he clears his throat, “So, uh, there’s a game this Friday.”
“Oh”, her eyebrows raised, Ella tilts her head slightly to the left, waiting for him to explain.
“Well, we’re dating, fake dating and girlfriends usually wear their boyfriend’s jersey’s on the day of the game”, swallowing thickly, Grayson draws in a quick breath. “Would you maybe wear mine?”
Furrowing her eyebrows for a moment, Ella’s face relaxed again as her eyes fell to Grayson’s shaky left hand. Reaching out, she takes his hand in hers. Her grip is firm, certain, no doubts as she gives it a squeeze. 
“Yeah. It’s not like it’s my first time.” Letting out a breathless chuckle, she shrugs, “And we did agree. So, I’ll wear your jersey and you pass this exam tomorrow.”
“Deal.” Grayson smiles as she purses her lips, but his smile quickly falls as she lets go of his hand and turns to the notes. She held his hand, but it’s not nearly as long as he wished for her hand to linger.
“Oh, wow, it’s true.” Someone speaks from behind them and Grayson frowns, turning back only to see a blonde, tall guy with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Danny!” Ella exclaims, jumping to her feet and straight into this guy’s arms.
Grayson’s eyes narrow as he looks how low his hands rest on Ella’s back, more so as the guy’s green eyes pierce him. He’s sizing him up just as much as Grayson’s doing to him. So, Grayson stands – letting him have something to size up. They may be the same height, but Grayson’s muscular, much more than him.
“So you’re really dating the Quarterback? I thought it was a joke.” Danny chuckles, his arm around Ella as she shifts uncomfortably at his words.
“Why?” Grayson raises an eyebrow, “She’s a beautiful, witty, intelligent woman. Any man would be lucky to have her.”
Smiling, Ella looks to Danny who nods, “Yes, I wasn’t demeaning her by asking. I’m saying I’m shocked she’d stoop as low to date you.”
Escaping his embrace, Ella steps away, “What the fuck, Daniel?”
Rolling his eyes, Daniel clicks his tongue, “Oh, come on! He’s whored his way through campus, you’re probably the last one he didn’t bag. He’ll use you and cast you aside, Ells. Men like him can’t commit.”
Chuckling from frustration more than finding anything amusing, Grayson steps closer to Ella, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Sounds like you know the type, Derrick.”
“It’s Daniel”, he corrects Grayson, visibly annoyed.
“Sure it is, Dario.”
Nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing, Daniel clenches his fists. “You can’t seriously think Ella is stupid to fall for your tricks.”
“Ella is right here and she’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions”, Grayson remarks, stepping in front of her, “Imply she’s stupid again and I’ll knock you on your ass so fast you won’t know what hit you.”
“Gray”, that’s when he feels it – her arms wrapping around him, her hand over his heart. “Please calm down, please.” Her head rests on his back, her hold on him tightening.
Softening at the sound of her frightened voice, Grayson steps back. “You’re lucky I value her good opinion more than your jealous remarks, Dicky.”
“It’s Daniel!” Raising his voice, Daniel shakes his head. “Ella, come on. Let’s go watch that movie before I lose my temper.”
Lips parting, Grayson glances at Ella who is blinking fast, biting on her bottom lip anxiously. “I think I’m gonna stay.”
“Seriously?” Daniel frowns, his green eyes fixed on her.
“I think I need some time away from you to reevaluate our friendship.” Ella states, her voice shaky and Grayson feels her body begin to shake as well.
“What?” Pointing at Grayson, Daniel speaks, “This is his doing! He’s manipulating you!”
Shaking her head, Ella seems to be lost. After years of liking this guy, she’s only now wondering why. “No, he’s not. You’re the asshole here. Your behavior toward my boyfriend is telling me I need to step back and create some distance because if you’re incapable of trusting I can make my own choices, I can’t trust you either.”
“He’ll break your heart.” Daniel states and Ella lets out a breathless chuckle.
“Maybe. But it’s my heart to break.”
And that’s when Grayson felt his heart break a little too. When he looks at her, he sees her heart is already cracked from this altercation. Daniel had been the culprit, but he feels responsible.
Walking away, Daniel doesn’t spare the pair a second glance. Ella’s quiet, holding onto Grayson. He can see she’s struggling to hold her tears at bay, but she’s successful. “We should review this part once again.”
“You don’t have to be brave with me.” Grayson tries but she waves him off.
“I’m fine.”
She’s not, but she can’t talk about it. Breaking down in tears isn’t exactly what she wants around Grayson. She’s hurt, confused and angry, but none of those emotions will help her. She wanted to make Daniel jealous a little, make him see what he could have if he stopped friendzoning her, but she didn’t expect him to disrespect her or say hurtful things about Grayson, as true as they may be.
“I’m fine”, she repeats before letting out a shuddered breath. “So, how did you get this result?”
Knowing better than to push her further, Grayson swallows thickly and plays along, taking this time with her as a chance to help her clear her head. His Ella always worked herself to the bone when she didn’t want to think about something, maybe this Ella needed the same. If she’s anything like his Ella, she’ll open up when she’s ready and for now, Grayson has nothing but time.
--
“Hey”, Grayson comes up behind Ella, making her gasp.
Slapping a hand over her mouth to hold in a shrill scream, she turns around only to whack Grayson with her free hand. “Jerk!”
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson’s mouth curved into a smile. “I wanted to hug my girl, not my fault she’s a scaredy cat!”
Rolling her eyes, she takes a step closer so he couldn’t miss her glare, “I prefer not to have Quarterbacks giving me heart attacks. A warning would have been nice!” Her voice is tremulous, her hands still shaky.
“I was gonna offer to walk you to your dorm”, Grayson’s smile falls as he realizes he truly did scare her which wasn’t his intention at all. He didn’t see her that day more than a few times in passing, so he got excited for a moment of her time finally seemed to be open for him to claim as his.
“Just don’t sneak up on me when the sun is going down, okay?” Ella crosses her arms over her chest as she looks left to right before her eyes set on Grayson who pales, realizing his mistake.
“Oh, shit”, he pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated with himself. Who the fuck goes up to a girl in an empty street at dusk? Idiots like him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
Cracking a smile, she nods, “Yeah”, exhaling loudly, she points ahead, “I live about ten minutes that way.”
“You’re letting me walk with you?” Grayson’s eyes widen, a little too excited and Ella could tell. 
“It’s getting dark and you’re kinda big and scary looking to potential killers.” Ella shrugs, “I don’t mind a bodyguard right now.”
The corners of his mouth turned up, licking his lips quickly before taking her hand in his. He noticed her tense up, but she didn’t fight his touch. Her hand felt sweaty, but he held on tightly as if it were his safety rope and letting go would mark him for death.
“Do you believe people can really change?” Grayson wonders out loud, hoping Ella would show some signs of changing her opinion on him. She let him hold her hand, isn’t that progress?
“I believe some people are beyond help.” Ella sighs, glancing up at Grayson whose face fell with her words, “But I don’t think you are. If anything, you feel like someone I’ve known my entire life and I know it’s insane but I feel like I trust you more than I should.”
His heart fluttered with her confession, acutely aware it means he has more of a chance than he originally thought.
“I feel the same way”, Grayson admits, “You’re like coming up for fresh air, like spring after a long winter.”
Beaming, she fanned herself with her free hand, “I - that was - uh, that was really poetic”, Ella stumbled over her words, unable to form a coherent sentence and she never realized how much Grayson affected her. She may have been attracted to him before, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like him now that she got a chance to see what’s behind his popularity façade. 
“You make me feel poetic”, Grayson’s husky tone made her simper, looking away as heat rushed to her face.
“Wow, okay! A silver tongue charmer.” Ella stops, stepping in front of Grayson with a coy smile dancing along her lips. “We’re here.”
Pressing his lips together, Grayson looked at the walls of the building with slight frustration. He wished they had more time to talk, it finally felt like he made progress.
“If I say I wish we could spend more time together, would you hold it against me?” Ella raises her eyebrows expectantly, her defenses lowered.
“I could come in”, Grayson gave her a half smile, one she could bask in all night long if she would just ignore the little voice in her head reminding her how dangerous Grayson Dolan is to her heart.
“It would be a bad idea.” She lets go of his hand, licking her lips. “Maybe another time.”
Nodding, Grayson sniffled, his allergies making his nose runny. “I swear I’m not crying, I have allergies!”
Giggling, Ella smirks, “Sure. And here I thought you were having a hard time parting with me.”
His smile fading, Grayson’s face loses the usual lightheartedness, “I always have a hard time parting with you.”
Knitting her eyebrows, Ella’s lips part, “You’ve just met me five days ago.”
Shrugging, Grayson steps back, “Feels like a lifetime.” Nodding over to the front door of her dorm, he manages a small smile, “Go in, I’ll wait till you’re inside.”
Licking her lips, she exhales loudly. She takes a few steps away, her back turned on Grayson. Stopping, she glances over her shoulder at him - standing there with the sun setting behind him, a picture perfect man with his hands in his front pockets and she felt breathless as she took him in. Shaking her head, she rushed toward him. With her hands on his shoulders, she stood on her tiptoes until her lips pecked his cheek - fleetingly, feather light kind of a kiss that nearly stopped Grayson’s heart.
“I’ll see you soon”, she told him before she ran to the door. She stopped as her hand gripped the metal handle, looking back at him with a grin and Grayson knew he was in trouble - he liked this Ella, a little too much.
--
Grayson rarely felt as confident as he did when he was on the field. The screaming crowd always gave him enough of an ego boost to run on for a couple of weeks after. It’s been a long time since he was on the field, much too long not to be anxious about it, especially when he knew his teammates weren’t exactly friendly with him at the moment. Apparently if you sleep around with their girlfriends behind their backs, they might end up resenting you for it. Yet another thing he could thank manwhore Grayson for.
The game isn’t the only thing making him nervous. Ella wearing his jersey meant they would officially claim their fake dating trope and knowing she might not be entirely into the idea had left him wondering if he’s forcing it on her.
A part of him wanted to hold her hand and ignore the sinking feeling and insecurities, but another part of him lived to see her smile. Her smile had made all the difference in the world. Instead of responding to the constant wave of girls trying to flirt their way to his pants, he only cared for one smile, one pair of eyes, just one girl who could make him swoon.
“How do we do this?” Ella frowns, looking at the door. She’s nervous, he can tell. All the classic signs of his Ella are there – biting her lip, crossing her arms at her chest only to tap her fingers on her forearms, blinking fast. She needed reassurance, Grayson simply wished to provide her with it when he placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in.
“Oh”, she exclaims, caught off guard. “Didn’t realize we’d go for the half embrace, jersey on the special game kind of a walk, but sure.” With a tight lipped smile, Ella made the first step toward the door and Grayson followed.
Far too happy about the initial few gasps upon their entrance, Grayson grins. It’s official now, he’s staking his claim and taking charge and Ella is once again his. The girls whisper about as they walk past them, the guys spare no attempt to hide their wandering eyes from taking in the girl that made a guy like Grayson Dolan fold and commit.
“Don’t you two look lovely”, Ethan winks as he crosses their path, suppressing a smile as Grayson’s shit eating grin grows wider if that’s even possible.
“Your brother seems to be happy with our endeavor”, Ella notes. “Almost as if he knows the truth.”
“He does, but he’s also a sucker for romance. Says this is how most books start, but they never end this way.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ella cranes her neck to better look at her so-called boyfriend, “And do pray tell, how do they end?”
“A wedding.” Grayson chuckles, leading her to her first class of the day.
Stopping, Ella untangles herself from Grayson’s side almost instantly, leaving Grayson with a frown paired with a pout she found almost endearing
“Good thing we’re not in a book.”
Nodding, Grayson purses his lips, “I guess so. Wouldn’t be the worst thing though.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, Ella narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”
A small smile plays on his lips, one that is near her as he leans in. His lips brush her earlobe and she holds her breath, her heartbeat skipping as he whispers, “There are worse things than having you as a wife.”
Swallowing thickly, Ella watched him step back with a cocky smile, praying her cheeks aren’t red. But they are. Her cheeks seem to know no other color but red when Grayson is close by.
“I’ll see you for the game, alright?” Grayson presses two fingers to his lips only to rest them back on hers, “Call me if you need me.”
And so, as he walked away, Ella remained rooted. For the first time in a long time, she fully understood what all those girls saw in this frat manwhore and it concerned her greatly to know he could disarm her so easily and she allowed it to happen. What upset her further is that she wished it had been his lips atop hers, not just his fingers.
As the day continued, such as they always do, Ella found herself thinking back to moments spent with Grayson and it only amplified her curiosity. The Grayson she heard of felt entirely like a fabrication at this point. This Grayson, dare she say – her – Grayson is much better than anyone gives him credit for.
In the time spent together, she had come to see him as a flawed human being, but one who is learning from his mistakes and rectifying them. It’s not impossible for her to truly care for him if he continues down that path. Perhaps in the near future, she wouldn’t care about the dashing Daniel she was so enamored by. Perhaps Grayson could be the one she desires after all. 
There are worse fates than a wedding, she thought..
--
Grayson would like to say he didn’t miss Ella, but he’d be lying. No, he doesn’t mean this Ella, rather his Ella. He tells himself he needs to let go of her, of the softness in her raspy voice whenever she speaks to him or the flowery scents she’s obsessed with, but he cannot reconcile the possibility of never seeing her.
Could he truly fall for this Ella and accept his Ella is to be lost forever? Can he surrender and learn to live in his new life as if he had never known the tender kisses she’d leave on his jaw or the way she’d trail his tattoos every morning after making love. She’s the reason why he stopped calling it fucking or sex. Ella is why it became something more. How can anyone top that? Even if it’s another version of her, what if Grayson never moves on?
“You good?” Ethan smacks him on the back and Grayson’s breath leaves him. Eyes wide, he nods, inhaling sharply.
“How big is this game?” Grayson wets his lips, finally hearing the cheering from the stands as he comes closer to the tunnel. Ethan shrugs, swiping his thumb just under his bottom lip.
“Career defining. We have scouts watching us tonight.” Ethan frowns, “If you wanted to fuck up our lives, botching tonight would be a fucktastic way to do it.”
“Great”, Grayson releases a heavy sigh, “No pressure then.”
Rolling his eyes, Ethan places his hands on Grayson’s padded shoulders, “Look, you’re not bad. You’ve been busting your ass in practice and you’re in shape, so just remember the plays and we’ll be good.”
“I’m the fucking quarterback, E. Why didn’t you take over for the night?”
Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Ethan gives Grayson a pointed look, “Because I have faith in you.”
“Somehow that makes it worse”, Grayson shakes his head, lips pressing into a thin line.
“Ella’s watching. Impress the girl and scouts and you’ll be on top of the world.”
And with that, Grayson put his helmet on and rushed onto the field with the rest of the team. He didn’t know what would happen, but he knew he had to try. If he doesn’t try, what’s the point? Life is about trying, again and again. Maybe some things are far too broken to be fixed, but he can piece himself up into a man every version of Ella would be proud to call hers.
Taking his position, Grayson scanned the stands quickly. His eye caught the empty seat where Ella was supposed to be and his heart sunk. She didn’t come.
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson swallows thickly.
“She’s with the cheerleaders!” Ethan shouts and Grayson’s head whips around to the cheerleaders only to find Ella waving at him.
A grin forms on his face as he waves back, wishing nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He really needs her tonight and maybe he can’t love her like he should, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her at all. This Ella, his Ella, any Ella – this woman’s soul is meant for him as much as his is meant for her. Just because he’s not the Grayson who gave her the jersey she ended up bringing back to him, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy being the Grayson she likes. And she likes him – Grayson can tell.
Once the game started, Grayson had realized one thing - football is the way his entire being sang - a kind of music played in a way only the players and fans could hear. It was as if it is his opera, a tale of emotions told in struggle for the chance of earned glory.
Nothing could lessen the adrenaline coursing through his veins – not the mud, not the pain of being tackled nor the way he swore he’d pass out from all the running and shouting. Each time he managed to bring that football over the line, Grayson looked to Ella who jumped in excitement as if she actually cared about the result.
Deep down, Ella did care. It meant a lot to Grayson, not just winning but his position and popularity all stemmed from his ability to run with a ball without getting a concussion from a tackle. Every time he was on the ground, Ella had to physically restrain herself from running to his side. It hurt her to hear his pained grunts and for a moment, she cursed the moment she decided to ask her roommate to get her down to the field with the cheerleaders. She cashed in a favor to be closer to Grayson, regardless of the result and somehow she ended up getting a closer view of each time he was viciously brought onto the ground.
By the end, Grayson scored the winning touchdown and the crowd went wild. There isn’t a soul in that stadium that could deny the game was one of the best they’ve seen and no one doubted Grayson Dolan is a quarterback meant for much more than college football.
She saw him take his helmet off, the sweat matting his hair onto his forehead. The smile upon his lips felt like the sun itself shone upon her, especially when his hazel eyes found hers.
Fighting off his teammates' attempt to pick him up and carry him, Grayson ran straight toward her.
Ella heard about it, read about it – that moment when time seems to stop and you’re caught in between heartbeats and your breath is caught in your throat. Her heart is only human, flawed and frail and it feels as if it would give up on fighting to keep up with her emotions that explode inside her as Grayson comes closer and closer until she finds his arms around her waist and her feet off the ground.
She’s above him, her hands wrapped around his neck, fingertips buried in the hair at the back of his head. Her forehead rests atop of his, her smile as wide as his and for a moment, she throws caution out with the wind. Grayson spins them around, a throaty chuckle escaping him and his sweat doesn’t bother her even as she feels him soak her clothes. She doesn’t care about the people watching or the flashing cameras and she could care less about what anyone thinks about how odd of a pair they seem to be.
In the moment, she realizes he had wrecked her plans. She wanted to use him to gain Daniel’s affection, but he’s surprised her once again and he’s her man -  at least for the night. Ella had learned one important thing – Grayson is full of surprises and she wouldn’t mind discovering every inch of his complicated mind.
Without a warning, she leans down – stealing the few inches of distance between them. Her lips press against Grayson’s who freezes with the action. His facial features are heaven to Ella’s heart and soul, but she could be so happily mesmerized by those lips for all the days heaven grants her to come.
No longer stunned, Grayson’s dry lips join Ella’s in the public display of affection he certainly didn’t expect. In that moment of the kiss their chemistry becomes an ever-bright flame no one could deny, not even Ella.
And a sobering thought reminded her this might be just another kiss for Grayson. He may be handsome and charming, but there is a reason he’s also known as a manwhore and that thought makes her dread the future she could have with him. No matter how hard she tries, all she can see is heartbreak and he’d be fine – she would be the one to suffer, grieving for the living. He’s put roots in her heart and yet she can’t allow for them to grow.
Breaking the kiss, she draws a shuddered breath as her eyes remain closed for a moment longer. She just wants to remember it – the way he had made her feel like she’s whole, at home. It’s always going to be their first kiss, and if Ella had anything to do with it, it would be their last as well.
“Go”, she opens her eyes only to be met with his lopsided grin and a new kind of glow to his beautiful eyes. He looks blissful.
“Come with me”, his voice is hoarse, desperately holding onto her. But the moment’s passed, he can’t keep her a prisoner in his embrace forever. Grayson puts her down, his hands moving from her hips to her hands, barely holding on by their fingertips.
“You have a whole team waiting on you, a bunch of reporters and I know there are scouts who would love to talk to you. I’ll see you in the morning for our tutoring session if you don’t oversleep.” She chuckles, trying to hide how shaky she feels on the inside. Somehow, telling him to go felt deeper than that and she could see Grayson pick up on that too.
His forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows furrowing as he steps closer and she finds herself breathless. Wasn’t he close enough?
“You’re more important. Say the word and we can go anywhere you want.”
She could hear him clearly, feel the earnest tone of his voice in her bones. He seems to care about her but that promises nothing. Grayson is dangerous in the kind of way that would leave her desolate and wounded for years to come. Daniel is the safer option. The jealousy he displayed was enough to confirm her suspicions of him liking her back and she had to choose the lesser evil.
“Be by our tree in the morning and don’t leave me waiting too long, okay?” She smiles, trying to reassure him and yet his heart aches.
“I won’t drink. I’ll be there.” Grayson places a kiss on her forehead, a long lasting kind of a kiss that somehow felt more intimate than the one they shared minutes ago.
“Stay safe”, she steps back and as their hands part at the fingertips, Grayson swallows thickly. A part of him screamed at him to stay, but the other part could see Ella needed to be alone. He needed to respect her desire for space even if it hurts him.
--
Grayson honored his promise not to drink even a single drop of alcohol, despite peer pressure. He had decided that while Ella may have wanted to go home earlier, it didn’t mean he couldn’t come by and wish her a good night. Truth be told, he’d have traded the night for a moment with her, but he couldn’t destroy a life that isn’t his – not really.
He did manage to secure a few tryouts and summer program offers for himself, but when the talks were over, Grayson hit the showers and headed straight to Ella’s dorm room. 
He had one simple thought in mind – he’d admit he likes her and take her reaction for what it is. She may care for him or she may not, regardless of the outcome Grayson refused to cower and hide his feelings.
Maybe that’s why it shattered him so when he had seen her lip-locked with someone else. 
Lips parting, he felt himself sway as the gravity of the moment tore into him. She had taken his heart and she broke it apart, shredded the last bit of sanity he clung to. It feels like death, just the same as bereavement and in this quiet moment as he’s unable to avert his gaze it chokes the breath from his body and short circuits his mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace now there is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.
Stumbling back, clutching his chest, Grayson walked back to his room. He can hardly remember how he got there, but he knew that he never missed his old life more. 
Ella was right, she’d never fall in love with a jock. She’d never fall in love with him in this life. 
While she was always in his head, even when he was scared to death to admit to it, Grayson seemed to be an afterthought in her head. 
He’s no longer afraid to admit the one truth he never told anyone – Grayson Dolan is wholeheartedly in love with Marizella Coleman, hopelessly hers in every universe he finds himself in.
There isn’t anything left to cling to, yet he can’t help but whisper her name under his breath – over and over, Grayson repeats her name like a lullaby until he finally falls asleep. 
--
“What exactly does this mean?” Ella traced a moon tattoo on Grayson’s chest, her interest piqued. It took five months for her and Grayson to get intimate, two more before she broke out of her shell and truly embraced that Grayson is hers. 
When she first met him, Grayson was lost. His priorities were all over the place, his mental health at an all time low and his bed was occupied by a different girl each night. 
It bothered her how careless he was with his mind and body, even more so by the fact that she wanted to give him her heart. But she bore witness to his ability to break hearts and she didn’t want to be another one in the line. 
If she was honest with herself, Grayson didn’t even know she existed. Not until he nearly knocked her out on the beach while chasing a ball. She knew him before he ever knew her and that made her careful, paranoid in a sense. If all those beautiful women couldn’t make him stay, how would she, an average girl next door, ever keep his interest long enough for him to see that she’s perfect for him?
“Nothing, it’s just pretty.” Grayson murmurs, wishing he could just wrap her up in his arms and forget about the world for the day. 
“You don’t get a tattoo because it’s pretty, Grayson”, Ella’s croaky morning voice forced his eyes open and a smile to form on his lips. He truly loves the sound of her voice more than the bird’s song.
“It’s my aesthetic”, Grayson’s cheeky smile makes her roll her eyes.
“Well then, I really shouldn’t show you the tattoo of my first boyfriend’s name then, should I?” She shrugged, turning away from Grayson who sat up quickly, his eyes wide and body rigid.
“I’D HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW”, Grayson exclaims, his voice penetratingly loud so much so Ella could hear Ethan grumble from his bedroom.
“It’s not easily noticeable”, Ella chuckles as Grayson’s jaw clicks, “But it’s my aesthetic, so it’s nothing. Maybe we can name our first born like that so it doesn’t go to waste”, she glances at Grayson with a coy look in her eyes, finding him heaving and ready to throw hands.
“Over my dead body”, Grayson growls, pulling her back to him as she yelps. Her laugh drowns out her scream as Grayson pins her down to the mattress beneath him, his hands firmly holding her by the wrists.
“Whatchu’ gonna do, big boy?” She teases him as he cocks an eyebrow, pursing his lips.
“I’ll make sure you scream my name so many times that no one ever comes to your mind again.”
--
Ella didn’t have any tattoos, but Grayson sure had fun finding out on his own. That was the first time she was no longer timid around him and he absolutely loved her teasing. Grayson didn’t enjoy remembering his Ella as much as he used to. Every memory brought him pain now that she was gone; that both of them were gone.
Avoiding Ella had become second nature and it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. 
Waking up earlier to get to practice first, leaving last had given him no time to ponder on his broken heart. He’d arrive last and leave first during classes, avoiding the tree he had met her by twice so far. She did text him, leave a few voice messages as well, but Grayson didn’t bother checking what they said. 
Why torture himself further?
However, he forgot one simple fact about Ella that seems to be universal – she’s stubborn and that stubbornness had led to him finding her asleep with a book open on her chest right before his bedroom doors.
“Jesus”, he whispers under his breath, dragging his right hand across his face before resting his hands on his hips. Licking his lips, Grayson lets out a heavy sigh, unsure what to do. He can’t be around her anymore, not when he had a taste of happiness and lost it. 
He held tightly to her because she’s Ella – because her soul speaks to his, because even in the darkest nights she would be his compass. But this Ella isn’t his Ella, she’s never going to be his Ella and he hoped he’d somehow convince himself she is. 
Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was thinking when he got involved with her. She had no recollection of their time together in his universe, she had no obligation to care about him and his feelings. She barely knows him and what she knows is scarcely him and mostly the Grayson that belongs in this universe. 
Reluctantly, Grayson taps her shoulder. She flinches, the book falling with a thud as her wide eyes fix on his figure and that’s when they narrow and set aflame.
“Where the hell have you been?!” She stands abruptly, pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, “I’ve been trying to reach you for a week!” Poking his chest, her nostrils flare, “I thought you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere!”
Wrapping his hand around her index finger, Grayson encases her entire hand along with it. “I’m sorry, I needed time.”
“Time? Time for what?” She frowns, the horizontal line between her eyebrows forming. 
“To make my peace with you and Kenny”, he sighs. He watches her face change from a frown to disbelief and when she rolls her eyes, he knows she’s annoyed with him.
“It’s Danny and he’s not my anything.” Placing her free hand on his cheek, she cocks her head to the left ever so slightly, “He’s not even a friend anymore. I don’t give a shit about him.”
“So why was he kissing you on game night?” Grayson counters, lips pressed in a thin line while hers part.
“Were you stalking me?”
Shaking his head, Grayson releases her hand while dragging the other one away from his face. 
“No. I wanted to see you and I did. With him.” Clenching his jaw, Grayson felt a wave of jealousy wash over him and it didn’t help that Ella had chuckled dryly.
“He kissed me and I was shocked but I pushed him away. And I told him I’m taken.” Licking her lips, she averts her gaze to the thread hanging from his sleeve. “By you”, she continues, “I told him you’re the one and I went inside and went to sleep.”
“You chose me?” Grayson releases a shaky breath, unsure what to do. “You can’t choose me, Ella.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, she steps back, “Oh! You don’t like me?” She swallows thickly, folding her arms across her chest. In all the scenarios she had made up in her head, him not liking her back was never one of them. It mortified her how silly she must look to him.
“No, no, I do!” Grayson stops her before she spirals, cupping her cheeks gently, “I like you, if I’m being completely honest, but I’m not…” Closing his eyes, Grayson smiles in disbelief over what he’s about to say, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I have to be honest.”
“You’re scaring me”, she says softly, her voice shaky. 
“If I told you I’m Grayson from an alternative universe and that we’re a couple in that universe, would you believe me?” 
Her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. “Okay, that’s cute, but I don’t think it’s time for jokes.”
“You started writing a book when you were sixteen and you never told anyone.” Grayson states and she stumbles back, eyes wide. She had never spoken aloud of her book, never once. That book remains in a locked folder on her old laptop, not even she had laid her eyes on it in two years. She gave up on it completely. 
“How?”
“You absolutely adore the ocean and believe you were a mermaid in a previous life.” Grayson continues as Ella pales.
“You’ve always hated coffee, but if you have to drink it you add half a cup of milk and four sugar cubes.”
Shaking her head, she runs her hands through her hair, unable to comprehend what Grayson is saying.
“You’ve always been terrified of the dark, so you sleep with a pink turtle nightlight you’ve had since you were ten. You have a beauty mark between your breasts you absolutely hate and are insecure about, but I find it sexy as hell.”
“HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT?” Ella shouts in panic, her breathing labored. 
“Because I know you. From a different universe, but it’s you. And I love you. With all my heart and I know this is crazy, but I woke up here and everything changed overnight.” Slumping to the ground, Grayson hides his face in his hands. “And I fucking miss her. I miss my Ella so, so much and I have never been worthy of her, but she loves me anyway and I’m here.”
A hand on his shoulder makes his heart skip a beat, bearing her weight as she uses him to slide to the ground next to him. 
“What is she like?” Ella’s shaky hand slides down his arm, slipping into his hand. She’s quiet, defeated by the news, in shock if she’s entirely honest. It’s way too much all at once and she never thought it could be possible she’d like Grayson Dolan so much it hurt to imagine him with anyone, even if that someone is herself.
“She sold that book and is writing a second book while studying. And she’s kind, witty and shy but incredibly outgoing with people she’s comfortable with.” Grayson doesn’t even notice the smile on his face as he speaks of his Ella, but this Ella does. She’s jealous of her alternative self for having a guy like Grayson smile as he mentions her. She hates her other self for being brave enough to publish the book and live her dreams...well, old dreams. She’s not dreaming about being a writer anymore.
“I love her, but I was afraid to tell her that. I was afraid of fully committing myself to her.” Grayson admits, unsure what good it does him now.
“When did you wake up here?” She interrupts him, wanting to know what was him and what wasn’t. Has it always been this Grayson? Did she spend all this time falling in love with the wrong guy?
“Woke up with a killer headache after some frat party. Think it was that party when he gave you the jersey.” Grayson glances at her, noticing a small smile upon her lips.
“So it was him then”, she sighs. Leaning her head on the door, she closes her eyes. “But all of this was you.”
“Yeah.” Grayson intertwines their fingers, seeking comfort. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be”, Ella shrugs, “That Grayson wouldn’t have bothered with me.”
“That Grayson is a manwhoring mess.” Grayson chuckles, “But I was the same before I met my Ella. Maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction.”
“Is it bad if I wish you to stay here?” Ella’s voice is quiet and wobbly, just above a whisper and it catches Grayson off guard.
“Is it bad if I say I fell in love with you just as I fell for my Ella?” Grayson counters and she lets out a breathless chuckle.
“It’s not bad, I mean I’m still Ella. Just on a different path in life.” Shrugging, she leans her head on Grayson’s shoulder, “Maybe that Grayson is you on a different path too? Maybe he doesn’t need an Ella of his own?”
Wrapping an arm around Ella, Grayson brings her closer to him, “Every Grayson needs an Ella.”
And in the silence, they found the comfort they both seek. It’s not right, but it felt perfect.
“You two are gloomy.” Ethan states, scaring them both. They were perfectly content staring at nothing in particular, just sitting there with the inner struggle wrecking them apart.
“You should wear a bell”, Grayson remarks and Ethan rolls his eyes.
“When you say shit like that, I genuinely can’t tell the difference”, Ethan steps aside, trying to get to the door.
“Does he know?” Ella asks and Grayson nods.
“Yeah, he’s the only one who knew.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, Ethan glares at Grayson, “So you told her?”
“Yup”, Ella exclaims.
“Great!” Ethan opens the door, letting the pair fall on their backs with a string of curses from Grayson’s mouth and a small yelp from Ella’s. 
Grayson barely got up to his feet, helping Ella up as well when Ethan screamed, “KRISTINA FOLLOWED ME BACK!”
--
Laying on the bed with Grayson beside her, Ella wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Part of her thought she’s insane for believing him so quickly, yet another part of her knew with absolute certainty that no one couldn’t know the details he mentioned a few weeks ago and that if he knew them, the other version of her must have truly loved him to spill the beans.
Ever since then, they’ve been inseparable. Ella knew it was unwise to spend so much time with Grayson, to get involved more than she already has. One day, she’d wake up next to the other Grayson and she’d be left alone. It would be over before it started and she didn’t know how to accept the fact he’s never going to be hers. Not really.
“What are you thinking about?” Grayson breaks the silence, noticing she’s deep in thought.
“About the day I wake up to the other you.” She admits and Grayson frowns, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s never going to get used to how straightforward this Ella is. He both loves and fears that about her.
“You think it’s gonna happen?”
Nodding, she sighs, “I just feel it. It’s unexplainable.”
Swallowing thickly, Grayson licks his lips, “If it does, don’t give up on me.” 
Grayson’s eyes flicker to her lips only to pull away before he dares to even think about it further. They may be spending all of this time together and sleep in the same bed most nights, but they’ve never once kissed since the night of the game. Ella said she wanted to give her other self some much deserved respect and not cheat though she wasn’t sure if it qualified as cheating either.
“You? That won’t be you, Gray.” Ella rubs her nose, sniffling. “He won’t be you, just like I’ll never be Ella for you. Which sucks.” Tears brim her long eyelashes, tugging at Grayson’s heartstrings.
“You are Ella. Even though you’re a little braver and confident, you’re her and she is you.” Grayson tries, but Ella shakes her head.
“No. That’s not true! I don’t have her memories or experiences and that’s what shapes a person. That Grayson won’t be you and truth be told, I’m not sure if I want him at all.” Sitting up, she hides her face in her hands.
 “I’m not braver either, I’m just rougher around the edges. I could never publish that book like she did or move to Los Angeles and date a famous YouTuber.” Breathing fast, Ella felt like her head would explode.
“Hey, hey, hey”, Grayson says softly, his hands running up and down her back in hopes of soothing her. “Ells, what’s wrong?”
“Everything!” She exclaims, “I want you and I can’t have you! I can’t be with you when you’re already mine but in a different world and even if I ignore that, I can’t ignore the fact that sometime, even ten years down the line I could wake up to the other Grayson instead of you and it’s making me crazy!”
Wrapping his arms around Ella, Grayson held her close as she wept long into the night and he had never quite understood all the stories of the way your entire being hurts when your heart is broken and his heart is fucking shattered.
He’s holding the reason for his existence in his arms and he can’t ease her pain because he’s the cause of it. He wants to love her and she wants to love him back, but they can’t and Ella is right – even if he ignored the fact he’s not from her universe and went for it, there was no telling how long he’d be there.
In a spiritual life, much like the physical, there is an inhale and an exhale; the soul needs to inhale the feelings of another soul in order to claim them, to enrich them before returning it in an exhale. Without this, there is no life for the heart, without it, the heart is suffocating, suffering, withering.
And that’s exactly how Grayson and Ella feel right now – suffocating, suffering, withering.
As her breathing evens out and Grayson realizes she’s fallen asleep despite the occasional sob she lets out in her sleep, he looks up at the ceiling and sighs heavily as if the world’s weight is crushing him.
“Please make this right. For her sake. I don’t even care what happens to me, just make Ella happy again. Please.”
And when Grayson closed his eyes, he never imagined it would be the last night he spends in her bed.
--
With closed eyes, Grayson reached out for Ella. He didn’t remember when she slipped out of his arms in the night, but he wouldn’t consciously keep it that way. Having her close felt like a lifeline for Grayson, even if they were trying to keep it platonic. Too often did he consider just moving on with her, pretending as if his life is in a universe made not for him.
He wanted to stay and help Ethan get with Kristina, to help his sister start her own design company if she was still interested in that field or to simply go home and see his family. He wondered far too often how they were, but he never dared to ask Ethan about it. It’s a sore subject for Grayson, even now. He imagined it was the same for Ethan.
“Ella?” He grumbles, squinting to find her when his arm fails. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at the much larger bed he’s on with a concerned look upon his face. “What the –“, he starts only to recognize the bed-sheets Ella spent three days making a pro/con list for. “Oh God”, Grayson jumps to his feet, looking around wildly.
The lamp next to his bed is replaced by an old alarm clock, his windows are covered with drapes he doesn’t remember having and the floor is covered in clothes Grayson never saw in his life. Looking down, he finds his thighs are covered in tattoos and a choked sob escapes him.
He’s not sure if he’s happy or not about the possibility of being in his own universe again. There is still a chance he’s in a new universe altogether, but even if he’s back home, what exactly is he coming home to? What exactly did he leave behind?
That Ella must have had a shock of a lifetime when she woke up to the manwhore version of himself and he wished he could apologize to her for it, but he’ll never get to see her or talk to her again.
And then he remembered, “Ella”, he breathed out as he ran to the door. He’s not sure if she’s even there, if she even stayed after the switch brought his worst self to her bed and he realized his Ella had woken up to that Grayson too.
Heart in his throat, Grayson stumbles as he heads to the kitchen where he hears movement. He isn’t sure what is waiting for him here, but when he sees the messy bun he always loved to untangle and the back of her neck that he loved to kiss, Grayson felt his heart stop.
Swallowing thickly, he stood there, frozen at the sight of her. She’s so close that he could have her in his arms in a few steps, but would she forgive him if he told her he kissed the other Ella? Would she forgive him if he told her he had started liking the life he had in that universe?
Wetting his lips, he lets his heart guide him as his feet take him closer and once he’s there, his arms wrap around her on instinct. His head rests on her shoulder and he can feel her tense up, but he’s barely holding back tears as he inhales her familiar scent.
Grayson missed Ella in every possible way. His soul yearned for hers and being back in her presence had made him crumble.
“What are you doing?” She groans, trying to unwrap his arms from around her waist. “I told you I will never sleep with you!” She raises her voice as she slaps at his hands and Grayson finally snaps out of it, releasing her.
She whips around, eyes narrowed at Grayson who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, Ella’s nostrils flare, “You have to stop this! I’m not a toy you can play with whenever you feel like it. I’m in pain!” She exclaims, pausing as she averts her gaze and her hand drops, “Do you even know what seeing you feels for me?” She sniffles as tears fill her eyes. “You’re wearing his face and body, but you’re too different. You’ve become better, you’ve done the work, but I love him. I can’t just forget about that.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Grayson felt his heart break further. It never occurred to him how hard this might have been for his Ella. She was stuck with the manwhore who would have broken her heart and he did. It was a relief she knew it wasn’t him, at least. His Ella knew better than the other Ella.
“And I love you”, Grayson manages a smile, “I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.”
“What?” Ella crosses her arms, looking at him as if he’s offended her.
“It’s me, Ella. I’m back.” Grayson tries reaching out for her hand only to have her shake her head and move away. She’s physically revolted by his presence while he’s aching for a smile from her pressed lips.
“You’ve tried this before. I’m not going to fall for your shitty tricks”, Ella heaves, a hand placed on her chest as her tears spill over.
“He tried this?!” Grayson practically growls, slamming his fist on the countertop. “Did he touch you?” Grayson’s jaw clenches as he looks to a shaky Ella who isn’t sure what to say or believe anymore. It’s like she’s drowning with no help in sight.
“Please stop”, she croaks, “I thought you and I were friends now.”
Chuckling dryly, Grayson shakes his head, “Your pet fish was called Goldie because she was gold. Your turtle Rocky bit her tail off and she died.” Stepping closer, he points at her chest, “You have a birthmark right between your breasts.” Pursing his lips, he wonders what else he could tell her. Her eyes are wide, glistening with tears, but he has to let her know it’s him. “When we first met you called me and Ethan snotty teenagers. You hate my decorating skills and you hate my snoring.”
“Grayson?” Her voice is shaky as she steps closer, reaching her trembling hand out. Her palm finds its way to his cheek and Grayson leans into it with a soft sigh. “You came back to me?”
Taking her face in his hands, he rests his forehead on hers, “I did.”
“It’s been so hard”, she whispers and he closes his eyes.
“You were right, you know?” Grayson’s nose brushes hers, “You wouldn’t like the jock Grayson. But I really liked college Ella.” 
Grayson often debated if he should be honest with Ella if he somehow made his way back home and despite his doubts, he remembers their relationship is founded on honesty. He promised her he’d always tell her the truth and he couldn’t look her in the eye and ignore the fact he had felt a little heartbroken about the Ella he left behind.
“You met me?” She steps back, wanting to look at him better.
“I’ll always find you”, Grayson smiles.
“You fell for her, didn’t you?” Ella steps back, hurt flashing behind her brown eyes.
“I did fall for her”, Grayson admits, “But I love you.”
Staring at Grayson, Ella didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel either. Would she be right to hold it against him? After all, it was still her. Grayson loved her, in every universe. So why does it feel like he had cheated on her? Why does her heart bleed?
“Did you touch her like you touch me?”
Breaking eye contact, Grayson leans on the countertops, “I kissed her once.”
“Once”, Ella chuckles dryly. “I almost had sex with the other you, but at least I didn’t know the truth. You knew the girl you were kissing wasn’t really me. She’s someone I will never be and she will never be me.”
“Please don’t hate me”, Grayson croaks as tears form in his eyes. He’s not ready to lose her, but he’s not ready to keep her with him by lying. She deserves better and he knows that.
“I don’t hate you, Grayson”, she lets out a shuddered breath, “I wish I did. It would be easier.”
“Easier?” Grayson’s eyebrows furrow when she takes her bag and puts it over her shoulder.
“I need some time and I need you not to look for me.” It was killing her to do this, to take a step back from their relationship. Ella needed some perspective, to find a way to breathe again and being close to Grayson always felt like she was trying to keep her head above the crashing waves.
“Ella”, Grayson reaches for her but she recoils from him, again. She had done it once when she thought it was his other self, but she knew this was him. She still didn’t want him.
“I have never asked anything from you, but I need this.” Ella covers her mouth to stop a sob from passing her lips as she turns from Grayson and heads for the door only to run into Ethan and Kristina.
Kristina is quick to wrap her arms around Ella, both of them leaving through the front door.
But Ethan wasn’t leaving. He turned to Grayson with a stone cold look in his eyes and headed for him with a formed fist prepared to leave a mark.
“What did you do?!” Ethan shouted, ready to lay Grayson out in a single punch.
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson circles the countertops so he’d be on a different side from Ethan who wanted blood.
“Whoa! It’s me, E! It’s Grayson! I’m back!” Grayson insisted as he ran in circles with Ethan, “YOUR FIRST TIME WAS WHEN YOU WERE 17!” He shouts and Ethan stops, eyes wide. “You also drank a beer when you were 16, but you’d never admit it. You hated onions as a kid!”
“Grayson?”
--
“How cool was the other me?” Ethan smirks as Grayson rolls his eyes, unsure if he should be annoyed or angry at his brother for not doing a better job at protecting Ella from the other Grayson who had clearly left her broken with issues he didn’t know how to resolve.
“You were single as fuck and a nerd”, Grayson sighs, “Kristina wasn’t even an acquaintance and the car you drove was more like a trash can running on fumes.”
Staring blankly, Ethan swallows thickly, “I don’t like that universe.”
“I liked it”, Grayson covers his face with his hands, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t know my life here was imploding while I was living the life I genuinely prefer over this one.”
“You’re saying college football was better than this house?” Ethan raises an eyebrow, “The money we have, the world we’ve seen, people we’ve met?”
Nodding, Grayson drags his palms down his face, “It was so much better.”
“Well, good for you. Meanwhile Kristina and I were dealing with a manwhore baby Grayson with no impulse control who was a pathological liar and manipulator.” Flicking a crumb from the countertop onto Grayson, Ethan continues, “Ella cried herself to sleep every night and we didn’t know what the fuck is happening.”
“She said she almost slept with him”, Grayson gulps audibly, unsure if he’s feeling guilty over the position that put her in, angry she’s angry at him when she nearly did something worse or jealous over the fact she had been touched by what seems to be the demonic version of him.
“You literally admitted to kissing the other Ella, I hardly think you have any room to judge anything she did Grayson.” Ethan’s tone is cold, his words harsh but truthful. Grayson has no right to be angry or jealous, he was a willing participant while his Ella was tricked.
“I can’t explain it”, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, moving it away from his forehead. Truth be told, he got used to the short hair from the other universe, he couldn’t wait to cut it again. “She was still Ella. They had their differences, but she was still Ella and the more time I spent with her, less I wanted to be away from her.”
“Look, this is uncharted territory. We can’t exactly define any rules in a situation that had no rules, so just give her a moment to deal with this on her own terms.” Ethan places his hand on Grayson’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his brother but even he was having issues looking at him normally after everything the other Grayson did.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Grayson frowns, lips parted as Ethan’s eyes widen.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m about to fuck something up”, Grayson’s frown deepens as Ethan presses his lips together, genuinely having flashbacks to the insanity of manwhore Grayson and the stress he caused.
“I’m just waiting for you to start complaining about the tattoos or fake gag at vegan food or order a bunch of fried chicken or maybe scream about a game you’re missing.” Ethan rambles on as Grayson cackles, shaking his head.
“Man, I’m a dick!”
“Oh, no, the dick part was you hitting on Ella and then winking at every cute girl in your way.” Ethan raises both eyebrows as he shrugs, “I did smack you every time I could tho’, Kris did too.”
“Good”, Grayson exhales through his nose, his lips pressed as his eyes fall to his hands. “I really didn’t want to hurt her. Either Ella”, Grayson’s voice is meek, defeated and the empty look in his eyes speaks volumes of the weight that’s been forced upon his heart.
“I know”, Ethan manages a smile, “You’ll get her back.”
“Think so?” Grayson raises his eyebrows, an inkling of hope lingering deep behind his brown hues.
Ethan’s smile widens in an instant, “Know so.”
--
In this broken world Ella is Grayson’s world, his healer, his light and love, good women are that way. He missed her, more and more as each day passed and while it seemed like the world was spinning madly on, Grayson’s life felt like it stopped the day she walked out the door.
Kristina came back hours later, but Ella didn’t. What made it worse is that whatever Ella shared with Kristina had turned her against Grayson as well. She didn’t want to speak to him, much less to convey his messages to Ella and Grayson was sure they were in contact.
This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Grayson expected to be blissful if he ever found his way back, but he only found misery. He could only blame himself for having broken not one, but three hearts the night he made his way back home.
Oftentimes, Grayson wondered what happened with the other Grayson and Ella when they woke up together, sharing a single bed. Did he once again try to lie and manipulate Ella or was he decent enough to tell her the truth.
Grayson feared he didn’t. He could only hope he was better with her, for her. Ella deserved that much and he believed she was more compatible with manwhore Grayson anyway. If anyone can whip him back into shape it would be her.
And his Ella, his beautiful, kind Ella…He thought about her all the time. What is she up to? Where is she? Is she as lonely as he is?
He failed her, both of them. He failed himself too.
Hearing Ethan talk about the constant stress the other Grayson put on her, their fights, her refusal to walk away because she hoped it would get better. She didn’t give up on him then, even though he was his worst self, but she walked away when she heard he had made a conscious decision to kiss someone else. 
He betrayed her trust and despite feeling guilty, he couldn’t regret it. Meeting her in a different universe only convinced him she’s his soulmate more. He couldn’t imagine life without her, in any reality.
And as a month passed, Grayson found it impossible to sleep in the bed he once shared with Ella. He preferred to sleep on the couch, even if his back felt broken in the morning. The pain was comforting compared to the loneliness the bed evoked. It was better off this way. He hated himself in that bed, he blamed himself every night and morning.
Closing his eyes, Grayson felt a tear roll down his temple. If he’s entirely honest, he’s not sure if he’s just too fucked up to ever love anyone like he loves Ella. He swallows thickly as his heart clenches in pain as his senses trick him into believing she’s with him.
For a moment, he could have sworn he smelled her perfume, the one he was absolutely smitten with. She wore it when they first met, she wore it when they first kissed and she wore it when they first became one. That perfume signifies all their firsts, all the good memories and even the fights he remembers carry a nostalgic happiness to them. Fighting is better than the silence she left him in. If she’s fighting, she cares but when she stops, that’s when crippling fear takes place and Grayson’s been consumed by that fear for too long.
A weight falls on him, a warmth engulfing him. The scent is stronger now, almost like she’s still there with him and in a moment of weakness, Grayson’s lips pass a strangled sob from deep within twenty one grams of soul and the sanity he once possessed.
“Don’t cry”, a raspy voice fills the silence and Grayson’s heart nearly stops. He’s hallucinating now, clearly he’s lost his mind. “If you cry, I cry”, the voice returns as a whisper and Grayson’s not sure if it’s all a dream.
Opening his eyes, he gasps once he sees Ella’s head resting on his chest. She’s laid upon him like a safety blanket, a tad too short to truly cover him but effective in its intent.
“You’re here”, Grayson breathes out and her head moves up so her eyes meet his.
“I couldn’t trust you, I didn’t even trust myself that day. I didn’t dare let you near me scared that I’ll lose you the same, but I can’t let that fear dictate my life and I can’t bear the pain of staying away.”
Running his hand down her back, Grayson pulls her up ever so slightly so he could easily kiss her lips if she allowed him to. He wanted to be able to see every change in her eyes, every line of her face.
“I love you”, he stops her from speaking, finding her apologies unnecessary. She had enough of heartbreak for both of them when he disappeared.
“Don’t let me run again”, her voice breaks and Grayson notices the tears pricking at her eyes, “I know I asked you to let me go, but don’t. I got mad and insecure, but I love you. So don’t ever let me leave again.”
Brushing the tip of his nose against hers, Grayson’s lips curl at the corners, “Never.”
“Do you want to tell me how awesome the other me was?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly as Gray gives her a slight shake of his head.
“Well, you were crushing on some dick Dougie”, Grayson starts and her eyebrows furrow in confusion before her mouth opens wide.
“You mean Danny?!”
The excited tone instantly put a frown on Grayson’s face, making Ella chuckle.
“He was my first ever boyfriend back home!” She continues, further aggravating Grayson who could no longer hold back. He told himself he’d be more patient, but it’s a work in progress and he needed her to stop talking, so he did the most natural thing he could think of.
He kissed her.
Before she could withdraw, his arms were around her. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.
It’s like opening up your soul to tasting, feeling and seeing every color of the rainbow in their own sensual way. For Ella it felt almost like catching Grayson’s smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness, the slight arrogance that provoked a reaction of her insatiable need for his touch. Kissing Grayson felt just like breathing oxygen she needs to keep her heart beating. His kisses warm the soul. His kisses are right. He is right; for her, with her, he’s the part of her she can’t imagine her future without.
“Never mention Doyle when you’re in my arms”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “Don’t mention Dairy, ever again”, Grayson adds while she giggles, amused by his absolute refusal to say the name right. “That would have been an awful tattoo”, he adds as she chuckles.
“If this is my punishment, I might be inclined to break that rule”, she winks, “Often”.
For a moment, Grayson stopped and stared. She didn’t seem shy or less brave than the other Ella at all. She felt brazen, unapologetically her and Grayson realized for once and all, his Ella, as complicated as she may be, is absolute perfection.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m a man of my words, isn’t it?” Grayson’s smirk is gone once his lips claim Ella’s again and she releases a satisfied moan in response. It was the kind of kiss that was so intoxicating your brain couldn’t handle thinking about anything else.
“I love you”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “I love you”, he repeats. “I love you, I love you, I love you”, he peppers her face and neck with feather light kisses, repeating his ‘I love you’ over and over like a prayer that was finally answered.
No matter what was in store for them, Grayson believed they would find their way back to each other. After all, they’re meant to be and for once, he didn’t doubt that saying. 
People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.
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writingdolans · 3 years
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Hi there! Quick question are you still writing the sequel for letting you go??? Just wondering ya know. We love a good crying moment heck yah heheh. Love your work big fan big fan ♥️
Hi! The rest of my inbox was filled with this same question so I’ll use this one to answer it.
I’ve thought about this a lot, especially since I read “This is me letting you go” this past week as well as “This is me starting over”. Y/N’s voice came back to me and it has made me want to finish her story. Also, while reading the series, I finally found who Amber’s muse would be. Now, I still support and care about the twins but the interest in them is not as strong as it used to be, which is also one of the reasons why I didn’t continue the series.
So much time has passed, I don’t even know if the readers are still around and would like to read more of the sequel. Is this something you would be interested in? If so, I’m pretty sure I’ll start writing it again now that I have time. Would you also still want it to be a Grayson Dolan story, or would you like me to make changes to the love interest in the story?
If you don’t know which stories I was speaking about, I’ll link my master list down below. You’ll be able to find both “This is me letting you go” & “This is me starting over” there. Your feedback would mean the world to me. Hope you’ve all been okay, I truly missed you ♥️
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jtsfavslut · 3 years
Note
Hear me out!! Grayson playing a game or on a phone call with all his friends and you start going down on him😌👀
Ohh nonie, I hear you loud and CLEAR!!
NOW LET ME JUST LEAVE THIS TRASH HERE AND DIP!!
It had been that stupid Among Us game. Somehow Ryan convinced them to get and everyday they played, for hours on end. Which meant you got no attention.
Sometimes you swore he did it on purpose because he knew you were a whore for attention. He knew you wanted his and only his attention, and he wasn’t giving it to you. 
But tonight? Tonight you were fed up, he had been basically ignoring you for the entire week. 
“Gray,” you spoke walking inside the room after taking a shower; he was sitting on a small couch he had, and the phone in his hand, like always.
He just hummed and didn’t look up from his phone, and that was the last straw for you. 
“You’ve been ignoring me, all week,” you whispered and crawled on his lap, making him drop his hands to the side, causing his phone to fall. 
“Y/N, I’m just playing a game, don’t tease me,” he glared at you and you smirked. 
“Would you rather have the game or my mouth?” you pouted before leaning down to peck his neck, the scent of his cologne making you feel at ease. 
When he stayed quiet you crawled off his lap and he quickly got up. You mentally smirked, knowing exactly what you were going to do, and what was going to happen after.
You slowly dropped down to your knees and brought your hand up to the waistband of his pants, pulling them down painfully slow. 
You palmed him through his boxers, earning a glare from him, making you giggle at the way he completely forgot about the game. 
”Y/N,” he steely said, warning you, but you purposely ignored it.
Finally pulled his boxers down, freeing his dick from being compressed by it. 
You brought your hand up to your mouth, spitting on it before slowly grabbing him, slowly and teasing jerking him, a groan falling past his lips at the feeling of your hand around him, you continuing to make eye contact as you slowly jerked him off. 
You softly kissed his tip making him let out a throaty moan, he threw his head back mummering out a few quiet ‘fucks’
“It’s all you now daddy,” you sofly said, sounding so innocent he just wanted to slam you against the wall and fuck you until you were moaning so loud everyone heard you, but this had do to, since his brother was next door, and so was ryan.
You dropped your hands, putting them behind you making your tits almost pop out from the tanktop you were wearing. 
“Did you lock the door?” he whispered and you nodded your head. 
“You gonna fuck my mouth or not Gray?” you asked with a pout and he let out another groan, before roughly grabbing your hair and lifting your face up, making you let out a giggle. 
He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss against your lips, and spitting in your mouth
“Ready princes?” he asked and you nodded your head, eager to feel him fucking your throat. 
You opened your mouth, and relaxed your jaw as he quickly slipped himself in, he went halfway in then slipped right out, until he finally went in all the way. 
“Look at you princes, dressed like a little whore just for me, Taking my dick like a good girl,” he moaned and your eyes rolled to the back of your head just because of his words. 
He went faster and faster, loving the sounds of your gags and whines, bouncing off the walls just for him to hear.
“Tight little mouth, just for me,” he groaned and  you wrapped your hands around his thighs. The way your nails were pressed against his skin were for sure to leave a mark.
He pushed himself all the way and stayed there for a few seconds, until your nails digged deep into his skin, and tears were threatening to spill out, but you didn’t mind, and he sure as hell didn’t either. 
“Gonna come in my mouth Gray?” you asked when he pulled out for just a second. You brought your hand back to his dick, pushing him away and jerking him before taking him in your mouth again, edging him, going fast then slow, taking him all the way just to push yourself back out. 
“Fuck, baby, taking my dick like a good girl” he grunted and that’s when you pulled away, getting up on your feet, as he glared at you, face filled with anger and confusion. 
“Go back to your game, see if the impostor will finish you off,” you smiled and turned around, begging to walk away before his hand caught a hold of your ponytail pulling you back, pressing your back against his chest.
“You’re gonna regret you ever did that princess,” he growled in your ear before slamming you down on the bed.
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dolansontheblock · 4 years
Note
can you do a concept w grayson where your period cramps aren’t usually bad, but they’re unbearable this month and gray finds you crying from them?
masterlist
hi baby, thank you for sending this in! i hope this is what you had in mind, love you! i’m sorry this is so late & i’m sorry it’s so short:-/
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The rays from the sun coming through the window, beating down on your body, causing you to curl into yourself even more. You really didn’t want to get up, last night you were up most of the night due to your period. Usually you never had cramps and only had light bleeding, but this time you were in so much pain that it woke you up from a deep sleep.
You turned over to see the time, your phone illuminated the numbers 6:52, you had to be to work by 9:30, but you can’t even fathom getting up for work. So you decided to use a sick day, today is good as any and you know you could use one. Shooting a quick text to your boss, you slowly rolled out of bed to go to the bathroom to look for your heating pad and some medicine. After some rummaging around, you found what you were looking for and happily made your way back to your bed, plugging in the heating pad and swallowing the pills down with the glass of water on your night side table, hoping the pain would fade away and sleep would come find you soon.
Unfortunately sleep never came, instead tears found their way to your eyes in place of it. You couldn’t remember the last time you had cramps like this, they were unbearable. You heard the door to your apartment open and close, followed by a soft call of your name, Grayson. The sound of keys being placed on the table, followed by his footsteps reached your ears.
The door to your room creaked open, but you didn’t move a muscle and greet him like normal. You stayed still in your little ball, with tear drops escaping through your closed eyes. The covers shifted a bit as he came to lay down beside you, his arm gently resting over your body.
“Hey baby, what’s wrong?” He whispered, followed by a kiss to your head. His hand found your own, thumb absentmindedly rubbing your skin.
“Cramps, they’re so bad for some reason.” You whimpered, turning your body so you could bury your head in his chest and snuggle into the safety of his arms.
You’re sure it’s past 9 by now, usually you would stop by the house for a morning coffee, and when you didn’t show Grayson decided to drive over to make sure you were okay.
“How about we get you in the shower, and I’ll put your towels in the dryer so they’ll be nice and warm for you when you get out? Then we can just relax in bed all day. My schedule is clear so whatever you want to do, I’ll do with you.”
You looked up to him to see him already looking down at you with so much love, it made your heart swell. Nodding softly, you agreed and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.
“I think we could use a day just the two of us, a nap sounds really nice too.” He smiled at you, eyes crinkling into his happy lines as you call them, because they only appear when he’s happy and smiling.
“Okay babe, napping it is.”
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marvelousell · 4 years
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I have a really bad migraine right now. Could I have a fluffy Grayson fic about him caring you for you when you have a migraine?
I’m here
A/N: Migraines are bullshit, for me it’s the worst pain ever. Hope you’re feeling better love.❤️
Warnings: swearing
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It was awfully quiet today in the house, and not because Ethan left for the weekend.
Grayson was used to laughs roaring through the house, the music blasting all day and especially to the sound of pots and utensils in the kitchen while you were cooking.
Today was different.
He did woke up pretty early to go for a morning jog and to fix his car. He didn’t want to wake you up, so he left you to sleep more, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before leaving.
You were a light sleeper. Every time that Grayson would get up or shift in the bed you would grab him, missing his body wrapped around yours.
However today you couldn’t move. The morning migraine knocked you out completely. Gray was already out of the room when you opened your eyes. Your head felt like a balloon that was about to pop, the dull pain growing every second.
‘Maybe a short nap would help’ you thought, groaning from the pain trying your best to fall asleep.
-
Grayson was done with his morning run, now focusing on his car. It was a beautiful day and he was a little bit confused, because by now you would enjoy a glass of fresh juice while waiting for him with his favourite breakfast placed on the table outside.
He just couldn’t work. Gray sure loved the sound of silence and the birds chirping every now and then, but your giggles and sweet voice in the morning where like a melody to his ears.
He made his way to the bathroom downstairs to take a quick shower before heading to your shared bedroom.
It was noon already when he stepped out of the shower and the silence was still present. The door of your room was still slightly open just how he left it this morning. The quiet but still loud whining from the room made him now worried.
“Baby?” He stepped inside closing the door, the sight breaking his heart.
You were now sitting, back pressed on the bed frame. Your small hands were wrapped around your forehead, trying to stop the migraine. The tears began to form in your eyes from the pounding pain, making Grayson’s heart beat faster.
“What’s wrong babe? Please don’t cry.” He sat next to you, embracing you in a hug.
“My head. A fucking morning migraine again.” Your voice was almost a whisper, afraid if you say something louder your head would explode.
“Why didn’t you call me? I was outside this whole time I didn’t do anything special! Fuck I should’ve known that something’s going on when I didn’t see you sitting outside.” Grayson’s voice was soft, his hands brushing your hair, trying to ease the pain.
“I’m sorry baby, I thought that after a nap it would stop, but it’s killing me now.” You said, relaxing in his hands.
“It’s okay babe, come on lie down for me and try to rest. I will bring you some painkillers and something to eat and drink.” He placed you down, kissing you softly.
“I’ll be right back.”
You were so grateful for him. Grayson was a boyfriend that everyone deserved in their life. The most charming and caring person, always here when you need him.
“Thank you for the food Gray, you really didn’t need to, a sandwich would be fine.” You said giving him a short but sweet kiss.
“Please bub, no need to thank me that’s my job.” His thumb brushing you cheek.
“You’re the best, I’m the luckiest girl ever.”
“Come here baby, we should take a nap together, and later when the pain goes away I’m gonna make those mean tacos of mine for us to eat while we watch some movies.”
You giggled, placing your head on his chest.
Gray covered you both with the white blanket, bringing your body closer to his. His hands were under your shirt, drawing circles on your back.
“I love you Gray.” You mumbled in his shirt, your eyes closing.
“I love you more my beautiful angel.”
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blazedgraysons · 3 years
Text
so i’m sorry for not posting requests lately. as an apology, here’s a preview of what i’ve been working on instead - ft. an excerpt from my fake marriage au.
Naomi never thought she could be so bored during sex.
Until now.
Her head falls to the side slightly, vision catching bright red numbers blinking back at her.
15 minutes.
Grayson had been thrusting inside her for 15 minutes. He’s not touching her though she can’t remember the last time he had. The silence is almost deafening, Naomi preoccupied with counting the seconds between each movement.
Her dress is still on, and so is his shirt. She doesn’t remember the last time either of them was actually naked -probably the last time he even touched her.
“Are you okay?” His gruff voice pulls her from her thoughts, her in the middle of questioning whether he was actually enjoying this. She nods wordlessly, painting a sweet expression on her face.
“Dr. Braun said this would be good for us.”
Naomi didn’t need a reminder, the memory of the chubby, short, balding man permanently implanted in her mind. He had greeted them from a swivel chair. She was already annoyed before he asked his first question, wondering why he seemed so delighted in her failing marriage. He had peered at them over a pair of crescent moon glasses, eyes slowly trailing over her figure in her sundress before scribbling obnoxiously in his legal pad.
Grayson had felt the growing tension between them, a gnawing feeling in his stomach that they were on the brink of divorce. He had suggested couples counseling, and Naomi, ever committed to being a devoted wife, agreed. However, the more time she spent under Dr. Braun’s watchful eye, the more she was beginning to regret it.
“When’s the last time the two of you had sex?”
“Aren’t you supposed to lead into that question?” Her tone is icy, eyes narrowed accusingly.
He scribbles some more, and Naomi can feel her own pencil snap under her harsh grip. Grayson’s hand anchors her, watching as he mouths for her to relax.
“I believe it’s easier to find the root of the problems if the couple is having intimacy issues. Normally, if a partner can’t perform, they’re hiding something? Is there an issue with what I’m asking?”
“You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t prefer to spend my time being analyzed.”
“It’s probably been a while. More than six months, I think.” Grayson cuts Naomi off, choosing to answer Dr. Braun’s question instead.
“Hiding things can easily cause a strain on a relationship.” He muses.
“I believe I’m pretty honest with her; there’s nothing I would hide from Naomi.” Grayson’s answer is earnest, heartfelt, saying everything Naomi isn’t. Dr. Braun hums, scribbling some more before facing her.
“And do you?”
“ Do I what, Doctor?” She sneers, tapping her foot.
“Do you have something to hide?”
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strangerquinns · 4 months
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Is it possible if you could list the chapters to your angle & demon au of grayson dolan
I just saw then posting on insta and yt etc then came across your series and fell In love but it bugs me I can't find all the chapters to finish it 😭
Thanksss
I’ve done this many times and the links keep breaking sadly.
0 notes
rhyrhy462 · 4 years
Text
masterlist
fluff: ♡ angst: ✪ smut: ❀
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sleep tight: grayson comes over and you fall asleep. 🥺♡
strangers: grayson meets you in a cupcake shop. 🧁♡
sleepover: you and your best friend, grayson, have a sleepover.♡
do you love me like i love you?: grayson kisses you and you both admit your feelings.♡✪
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calm showers: ethan washes your hair.♡
no good for you: ethan tried to get with your best friend.✪
movie night: y/n plans a movie date to help destress e.♡
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rightnowyoucanttell · 3 years
Note
#19 with gray 🥺🥺
#19: “I can’t stay away from you”
A/N awe ok I have an idea (this is literal barf, and so so short) NOT MY GIF
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“I’m sorry...” he breathed a few breaths an awkward silence, “.... I can’t stay away from you,” he yelled over the rain pelting the metal roof of the small cottage in the woods. It had been a month since he last saw April. Since he saw her raindrop blue eyes, and her burnt aburn hair. The smile that made him smile, the laugh that made him laugh. And there he was, standing all cliche out side her door, in the rain, drenched in the cold New Jersey weather, as thunder rumbled in the distance. He knew a strike of lighting was soon to follow but he didn’t care.
The air was humid yet cold, it smelled of fresh rain, an earthy scent, woody. Not that Grayson mind, neither did April. There they were, April, safe under the hangover of the house, in the door way face to face with the boy she loved since she was fourteen. Grayson, in the pathway aligned with April sopping wet, his spiky hair plastered into curls among his forehead.
The whole thing was cheesy, and romancy. Which usually made April vomit. Grayson never talked to April when they were in school. April was too invested in her art profolios and Grayson, well he left to Los Angeles. The two bumped into each other outside of Lisa’s salon a few months back. And within in that span of time feelings were found, relit but tarnished. Lisa saw it unfold, and when she found
“- April, I. I- I” he stumbled over his words, as the rain countinued to reveal his pectorals underneath the white tank top, he looked from April and around the surrounding forestry,”April i - “
“I know. It’s okay, I know.”
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dolantwinsfavss · 4 years
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Always {g.d}
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Meant To Be (Part 1) // Masterlist
Four years ago, Grayson Dolan wasn’t the same man he is today.
Grayson would stay in bed, barely getting enough sleep. Rarely eating as he became someone his own twin couldn’t even recognize. 
He was broken. Hurt. Angry. But he wasn’t angry at you. God, he could never be angry at you. Angry at himself for letting you walk out the door, for not being a better man to you. 
Grayson took out his pain and anger on everything and everyone around him, including his older brother, who wished he could take away his pain even if it was for just a second. For the first month, there was never a night Ethan didn’t hear his brother crying and throwing things against the wall. So he spent his sleepless nights with Grayson, despite how many times he tried to push him away until Grayson let him in again. Ethan had never seen his brother so empty and broken before, at least not in a very long time.
Eventually, Grayson found his way again as he tried his best to get his mind off of you. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t hurting anymore. 
It was about 2 in the morning, one of the first nights Grayson spent alone in his room, softly illuminated by his lamp, as he stared at the small, delicate rings in his hand. Yours and his. It broke his heart knowing you weren’t in his life anymore, but Grayson didn’t believe it.
He reached around his neck and undid the clasp of his necklace, sliding the two rings onto the chain to meet in the middle as he heard the two pieces of metal clink together before he put the necklace back on. From that moment on, Grayson never took the necklace off, keeping your ring close to his heart, waiting for the day he could give back what belonged to you.
Fast forward four years later, Grayson was at the Farmer’s Market he went to every Saturday afternoon to pick up his weekly groceries for him and Ethan. From a distance, he spotted the local florist wrapping a bouquet of your favorite flowers for a woman in line, drawing him back to the memory of your very first date when he bought you those exact flowers without realizing he was allergic to them until later that night. But what you never told him was that those actually weren’t your favorite. You couldn’t tell him after how happy he looked when he handed them to you, but you learned to love them, just like how you learned to love him.
He didn’t realize he was staring until he saw the woman with your flowers in her hand turn around. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him, the feeling his hear drop in the process. It couldn’t be… It couldn’t be you. Grayson swore to himself that this was all a dream, something he’d dreamt for the past four years. He rehearsed in his head a million times what he would say to you if he ever saw you again, but nothing came. His brain was screaming at him, begging him to run, but he couldn’t. It was too late. You already saw him.
“Grayson?” You said walking closer to him, noticing he hasn’t changed one bit, except for the fact that his hair was longer since the last time you saw him.
It took Grayson a second to pull himself back into reality. His mind was caught up on the fact he was hearing your voice again, not through voicemail or through old videos, but in real life and it sounded more angelic than ever. “Hey Y/N...” Grayson managed to say, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 
Really? You haven’t seen her for four years and that’s all you have to say? Ask her how she is!
“I haven’t seen you in so long. How long has it been? Like three years?”
It’s been too long. Four years but who’s counting?
“Yeah something like that.” He chuckled nervously. “Are you always here on Sundays?” 
“Yeah actually… Every two weeks or so. I’m usually here on Saturdays, but I was busy yesterday so here I am. What about you? I’ve never seen you here before.” You smiled at him.
“I’m here every week to get some groceries for me and Ethan. But of course, it’s usually just me.” Grayson said calmly, despite his instincts telling him to flee.
You looked down at the groceries in his hands, noticing the faint tan line of where his ring used to be, but quickly looked back at his eyes and giggled, “So I’m guessing you’re still the one that wears the pants in the house?”
Grayson laughed, something he hasn’t been able to do since you left, “Yeah I guess so.”
“How’s Ethan by the way?” You asked. Sure things didn’t end on a good note, but that didn’t mean you didn’t care about them anymore.
“He’s good. Just being Ethan if that makes any sense.”
“It totally does.” You chuckled as the awkward silence fell between the both of you. “Well I should probably get going.”
“I uh yeah.” Grayson said nervously, scratching the back of his head, “I’ll let you enjoy the rest of your day.”
You looked up at him, seeing the slight glimmer of sadness in his eyes, “Bye Gray.” 
“Bye Y/N.” Grayson said softly as he watched you walk away before turning around with his head hung low to walk to his car. He wanted to turn around so badly and pour his heart out to you. Tell you how much of a wreck he is without you.
She was right there. For years, you’ve been praying for a chance to see her again. To tell her how you really feel. Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell her you miss her? Why didn’t you tell her you lo-
“Grayson!” He turned around to see you jogging towards him, laughing as you almost tripped over your own feet due to how clumsy you are. 
There it was. His chance to see you again. “Yeah?” He asked, smiling softly at you.
“I was going to go grab some coffee and I was wondering if you wanted to come with.” You managed to say once you caught your breath. You quickly realized how stupid you were to ask when Grayson didn’t answer right away. “O-Only if you want to, of course. You’re probably super busy and all. But I was heading that way and I didn’t want to be rude. I kn-”
Grayson laughed at your habit of rambling when you got nervous, guess some things never change. This was the second chance he was waiting for and maybe just maybe things would turn out the way he wanted them to. But he knew he shouldn’t have said yes. “I would love to.”
The two of you sat in a booth in the back of the cafe like the many late night diner runs the two of you would do on your spontaneous adventures, only this time you sat across from each other with no clue what happened during these four years apart.
“So how’ve you been Y/N?” Grayson was the first to speak before taking a sip of his coffee.
“I’ve been good.” For the first time, Grayson was able to take a look at you as you rambled on about how your life has been for the past four years. Taking in the moment for as long as he could, not knowing when would be the last time he would see you as he noticed your hair is a little longer. Smile a bit brighter. And your eyes are just as he remembered.
“What about you, Gray? How’ve you been?” You asked taking a sip of your coffee, anxiously waiting for his response.
I miss you.
“Good.” He breathed out, “Ethan and I have been focusing on what we love most, especially our videos and we created a fragrance company called...”
“Wakeheart.” You said smiling at him. You couldn’t be any happier for him. So proud of him for putting things out there for himself.
“Y-You know?” Grayson was astonished. He never expected you to know what he had been up to.
“Of course. And congrats on DT Productions.”
“Wow… I didn’t think you still watched our videos.” Grayson spoke softly. 
“I’m proud of you Gray.” You meant it. You would never tell him or anyone this, but watching his videos let you escape from reality when you needed it most.
His eyes met yours, as a feeling of reminiscence washed over you, bringing you back to a time when you were both so happy. “Thank you. It means a lot. It’s just that…” But then his eyes landed on the sparkling diamond ring where the one he gave you once was. Only fear and sadness came to mind as he struggled to find the right words to say, but all he knew was that ring was bigger than the one he gave you.
“Y-You’re married?” He breathed out, watching you carefully. Suddenly, his dream was something he wanted to wake up from.
Your eyes flickered to where his eyes were and covered the ring with your right hand, sliding it into your lap, wishing you should’ve gone yesterday instead of watching Netflix all day. “Um engaged actually…” You said softly, avoiding his gaze as your coffee suddenly became unappetizing.
It took Grayson a few seconds to pull himself back into reality as so many thoughts came into mind. Who is he? How did I not notice it before? Did she love him? Does she still love me the way I still love her?
“Congrats. Who’s the lucky guy?” Grayson faked a smile to mask the pain breaking his heart into a million pieces. 
“A friend of a friend. We were dating for a little over 3 years before he asked me to marry him.” 
A year. It took you a fucking year to move on. Meanwhile I’m still here trying to pick up the pieces from when you left four years ago.
“That’s great.” Grayson cleared his throat to ease the lump forming in his throat, “Wow… um I’m so happy for you.” As much as it pained him to say it, he truly was happy for you. He just hoped you were happy.
“Thanks.” 
Silence fell once again as the two of you were too afraid to say the wrong words. But luckily Grayson’s phone went off, notifying him that he got a text from Ethan reminding him to pick up some avocados. 
“It’s Ethan. He’s wondering what time I’ll be home. We have a video to shoot today.” Grayson lied. It’s not that he didn’t want to spend time with you, it hurt him more knowing you didn’t love him anymore.
“Oh okay.” You said, getting up and grabbing your flowers. “I should probably get going too.”
Grayson followed your movements, taking one last sip of his coffee, “I guess this is goodbye?”
He didn’t want it to be, not now not ever. It’s crazy to think the beautiful girl standing in front of him was still the one who holds a special place in his heart, even though it wasn’t the same for him. 
Your eyes met with his as he hoped you couldn’t see how much he was begging for you not to go. But instead you said with a small voice, “Bye Gray.”
“Bye Y/N.” Grayson said just above a whisper, watching you turn around to walk towards the door. Flashbacks came to his mind of the night before you left, picturing him not letting you go if he’d woken up sooner. 
Before he knew what he was doing, Grayson quickly reached out and pulled you into his chest, his muscular arms wrapping around you tightly. Your muscles tensed at the quick motion, but immediately fell with ease as you came in contact with his warmth and his signature scent consuming you. 
“I miss you.” Grayson whispered into your ear as he felt your arms wrap tightly around his torso.
You couldn’t explain what you felt. A part of you knew you shouldn’t have invited him for coffee, but another part of you felt at home.
A feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time.
“I miss you too.” You mumbled softly into his chest. I miss you so much more than you know.
Neither of you wanted to let go, fear that this would be the last time you would ever see each other. But maybe it’s for the best,
As much as it hurt you to let go, you had to. Pulling away, you felt tears in your eyes, but you couldn’t bear to reach his eyes. “Bye Gray.”
Grayson let you go as he watched you walk out of his life for the second time, “Bye Y/N.”
Somehow Grayson managed to make it home. The drive was a blur. He couldn’t remember getting into his car or leaving the cafe, all he could remember is you leaving as he became numb.
“Hey Gray! Did you get my text?” Ethan shouted as he walked out to the living room to see his brother empty handed, staring through the window into the backyard.
“Gray?” Ethan said as he wanted closer to his brother. “Gray did you he-”
“She’s getting married.” Grayson said softly.
“Who is?”
“Y/N.” Grayson said as his lifeless eyes finally reached his older brother’s. “She’s getting married.”
Ethan couldn’t find the right words to say so instead he walked to his room and returned with an open envelope in his hand, “I know.” He said handing it to Grayson, “She sent this a few months ago.”
Grayson’s eyes lowered to the white envelope as his hands reached for it to pull out the card that said, “Please join us in celebration of the marriage…”
That was all Grayson could read before he let the paper fall to the ground as he turned to face his brother. “You knew and didn’t tell me?” Grayson said harshly, stepping towards him. “You knew this whole time and you didn’t tell me that the love of my life is getting married to someone else?”
“I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready an-” 
“How can anybody be ready for this? How can someone watch the person they love get married to someone else when I’m supposed to be the one that marries her!” Grayson shouted from the top of his lungs, the pain in his voice echoing throughout the entire house.
Ethan watched as tears fell from Grayson’s eyes before he fell to his knees. Luckily, Ethan reacted fast enough to catch his brother. “Grayson. Grayson. I got you.”
“How… How could she do this?”
“I don’t know Gray. I really don’t.”
The two boys sat there for a while in silence as Ethan comforted his younger brother until Grayson whispered, “How could she not love me anymore?” 
From the window above, you could see your friends and family gather around to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in your life you were about to spend with your soon-to-be husband.
“Five minutes Y/n.” You heard your maid of honor say before she closed the door.
This was it. The best day of your life starts now. You were ready to spend the rest of your life with someone who loved you.
“You look beautiful.”
You knew that voice from anywhere. But how could you ever forget it?
“Grayson?” You turned around to see him standing by the door, looking handsome as ever in his tux. “What are you doing here?”
“You can’t marry him.” He was quick to say before he stepped closer to you, letting the door close behind him.
You couldn’t believe what he was saying. How could he come here and say this to you. “W-What?”
“Don’t marry him.” He repeated, taking a step closer to you, holding your hands in his.
“Why not? You can’t just come here and tell me th-”
“Because I love you.” There it was, the three words you’ve been waiting to hear for the past four years. It made your heart swell even after all these years. “I have never stopped loving you.”
“Grayson… It’s been four years.”
“I know and everyday that has passed since you left has been a living hell without you by my side. You made my life better than I could ever ask for. I need you in my life and you can’t tell me that that day when we ran into each other, you didn’t feel the same way I did because you could’ve just walked away, but you went up to me and asked me to get coffee.”
You couldn’t help but stare at him in shock. You never expected your wedding day to be like this. Grayson pulled out his necklace from underneath his dress shirt and held out the rings in front of you. The one he gave you four years ago, the only one that ever felt right to wear. “Today was supposed to be our special day. The day our future we planned together was supposed to begin. And I’ve been carrying around these rings around my neck everyday for the past four years, knowing that one day I would be able to give the ring I gave you back to you because I know you still love me.”
“Grayson I’m getting married today! He makes me happy and he loves me!” You tried to explain to him.
“But do you love him?” Grayson asked in a quiet voice, fearing what he would hear next.
Before you could answer, the music started to play, signaling it was time. “That’s my cue.” You said as your voice broke, walking towards the door. “Goodbye Grayson.”
“Bye Y/N.” He said before you closed the door, leaving Grayson to lose all hope in finally being together, but he was always going to love you.
Grayson watched you walk down the aisle towards your fiance, where he was supposed to be standing, but instead he stood in the back. As everyone’s eyes were on you, no one saw him sneak out the two doors you walked into earlier, except you.
He drove around aimlessly, getting as far away as he could until he ended up at a lookout he hasn’t visited since he was with you. Grayson parked his car and sat on top of his car, staring out at the sunset, hearing the waves crash onto the shore below him. He took off the necklace and held the two rings in his hand, debating if he should throw it into the ocean, but he couldn’t. Grayson wasn’t ready to let go just yet, his heart wasn’t ready.
Even if he wasn’t there to celebrate with you, he hoped you were truly happy because that’s the only thing he wa-
“I love you.”
Grayson turned around and saw you in your wedding gown running towards him. He stood up as you stood in front of him. “What? What are you doing here?”
“I said I love you. I love you Grayson Bailey Dolan. And I have never stopped loving you. The day I walked out was the biggest mistake of my life.” You said with pleading eyes.
“I don’t understand. You said…”
“I know what I said, but I was lying. Standing up there without you didn’t feel right. Nothing has felt right without you. Because I need you in my life. I’m sorry for walking out. I’m sorry for everything.” 
Grayson didn’t know what else to do, but to kiss you. It was everything you both wanted, needed for what had felt like the longest four years apart.
You pulled away, foreheads resting against each other with the biggest smiles on each other’s face.
“I love you Y/N. I will always love you.” Grayson said softly before pulling away, unclasping his hand to reveal your ring to put on your finger, “And I believe this belongs to you.”
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