#Glados wants to kill all of us yes

[jerktournament]

FINAL ROUND - GLaDOS (Portal) VS Herbert P Bear (Club Penguin)

!!! PROPAGANDA BELOW !!!

GLaDOS: "So mot only is she running your character through a series of puzzles with the intention of killing her at the end, but in the second game she spends the Entire. Time. Verbally and emotionally abusing you, including body shaming and bullying you for being an orphan. If it's any consolation, she does have to exist as a potato for the second and third acts of Portal 2."

"Known for being mean (hot). Mercilessly targets the player character's every possible insecurity. Petty and mean. I understand if you don't want to include her since she tends to dominate polls, lol."

HERBERT: "This mf spends his whole life trying to heat up a frozen island and terrorizing the innocent penguins that live on it all bc he was bad at sailing one time and is too much of a wimp to try again. Classic Misery loves Company type asshole."

"operation blackout would have been NOTHING without him (mostly because he caused it). he has a SOLAR LASER. this polar bear is an ass who literally harnessed the power of the sun and froze the top members of the elite penguin force (a group of penguin special agents) and his best friend is an equally villainous crab"

"Herbert may be a fandom darling in our fandom of like, 20 people. BUT DON'T LET THAT FOOL YOU! He is a conniving, EVIL bear, and a professional jerk and some highlights of his jerkishness include...

- Spending ten years of his life (by the time the game closed) trying to destroy the Penguin Secret Agency and Elite Penguin Force (both were agencies that protected the island from disasters and villains like Herbert) with varying success...

- SUCCESSFULLY destroyed the Penguin Secret Agency with a popcorn bomb, which destroyed their HQ. It should also be noted that while doing so, he locked in the player, Rookie, and Gary the Gadget Guy, presumably so the bombs explosion would have killed them all.

-Teamed up with the EPF to stop the Ultimate Protobot 10,000 and the Test Bots, a small group of four dangerous robots after he personally brought them back. When Protobot went "too far" for Herbert's standards by threatening the environment and trying to completely destroy the EPF (despite the aforementioned Popcorn Bomb incident literally destroying the PSA, and also a certain Operation: Blackout), causing him to temporarily switch sides. This might sound like a character growth moment...except for the fact that he immediately betrays them once Protobot is dealt with and attacks and damages the EPF's HQ using a robot hydra made for the Medieval Party that he stole.

- A canonical ex-dictator. Don't believe me? Look up Operation: Blackout on the Club Penguin Wiki! He froze several agents during his reign of terror, was open to freezing innocent civilians, and also wanted to do away with puffles- the pets of penguins. He also banned several hobbies and professions during his reign (being a Ninja, a DJ, a Pirate, etc) for no reason other than disliking them. He also destroyed the EPF'S HQ and exposed two agents' private information to the public. This means Herbert is the first and only character to canonically dox people he doesn't like on Club Penguin.

-Was planning to bomb the EPF literally two months later with a hot sauce bomb (makes sense in context of the game and yes, it is more destructive than it sounds).

-Brainwashed puffles into digging coins for him purely because his henchman, Klutzy the crab brought a coin slot to use for his DIY heater, instead of just removing the coin slot and retooling it to work without one like a normal person."

#poll #glados #portal #herbert p bear #club penguin #finals #tumblr polls

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

GLaDOS/Caroline:

you know her you love her!!!!! tumblr's favorite unethical mad scientist robot lesbian! you can't have a poll like this without her

neurotoxin :)

I have no energy to write propaganda I’m sorry but she deserves this!!!! She’s the antagonist of all time. She’s funny and smart and passive aggressive and lying to your face. She’s filling the room with neurotoxin. She’s still alive.

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT MY GIRL. Anyways Glados did nothing wrong.

Constantly mean to Chell, in love with Chell, tries to murder Chell, saves Chell's life, helps Chell, hinders Chell, is a potato, used to be a secretary before being forced to upload her consciousness into a personality sphere, floods the facility with deadly neurotoxin, is a sexy robot... need I say more?

OK SO she killed all those people BUT they confined her to an immortal hell as a digital being so like??? deserved. it's implied she may have hated Cave and some cut dialogue even suggests she was forced into GLADOS against her will. she was just getting her revenge what's so wrong with that!!!!

Helen Richardson/The Distortion:

Yes, she tortures and kills people, but so does everyone else, so why shouldn’t she enjoy it? She’s just as evil as the Archivist, but she’s fun and a girlboss. She just wants to have a good time, gossip, and drive people insane.

#poll #tournament poll #round 3 #glados #caroline portal #portal #portal 2 #helen richardson #helen distortion #the distortion #tma #the magnus archives

[goobyblob]

The normal, pulsing, somewhat nauseating elevator ride was taking a lot longer, this time. Chell pondered what sort of exceptionally tall test chamber was awaiting her on the other side. Perhaps GLaDOS in all her infinite wisdom decided now would be a good time to test out the safety of her long-fall boots, most likely by tossing her from higher and higher until her ankles broke.

When the door opened, however, she wasn’t greeted by the usual sleek, unfeeling white. The colors were more, well, existent, with tans and browns and an exceptionally wilted potted plant in the corner. For a moment, Chell let out a sigh of relief.

“When being designed, I was made to be obligated to follow 17,649 rules to protect humans I interacted with. Out of those, I found only three to be useful. This is one of them.”

“Unfortunately, we cannot test forever. Well, I can, but you cannot. You have to sleep, at some point. Isn’t that sad? I live 50% more life per life than you do. You’re going to die and you spent a third of it asleep. How sad.”

“So here you go. A bed. Enjoy. How you could spend eight straight hours being utterly unproductive without going insane is beyond me, but I suppose you’re more used to that sort of thing than I am.”

“By the way, I kept those rules around as rules of thumb. I can still break them. And if you push me, I will.”

“Eight hours is a recommendation, you know. We could personally test how much a human really needs. Of course, you’re not quite indicative of the average. I’m sure lugging around those extra pounds can get tiring. We’ll call it an upper bound.”

“Point is: I can do whatever I want to you. One of the earliest rules was that I wasn’t allowed to lie to you about the rules. Do you think that one stuck around? You’re a smart girl. Sometimes. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Rule #7 says I can’t watch you while you sleep.” “Said, rather.”

The bed was softer than Chell expected. She’d forgotten how she’d missed such simple things: quiet, the dark. Staying in one spot without fear of death looming over her. Not wearing pants.

Chell laid there, for a moment.

She’d forgotten what it was like to not have GLaDOS in her ear.

Did she prefer it this way? She should.

Chell was sure she should be preferring a lot of things differently.

She shouldn’t be so relaxed with GLaDOS in her ear. She shouldn’t look forward to the next snide comment at her weight or her parents (lack thereof, more specifically.)

Surely that wasn’t normal. Not many people had gotten into her situation, but out of the slim group of murderous omnipotent robot survivors, surely she’d be the weird one.

But surely GLaDOS was weird, too. A robot striving for pure efficiency, for pure data, would have crushed her long ago. Would have made turrets she couldn’t fling around with a flick of the wrist. Would have put her in a box with no doors and made the box smaller and smaller until she was red goo.

GLaDOS didn’t do that. Sure, she tried to kill Chell, many times over, but it was with a sass and flair for the dramatic that nobody else could match. They were playing a game, her and Chell. Chell couldn’t really die, not actually, because then what would GLaDOS do? Sit alone in an empty facility until the end of time? Surely in just a few gigaseconds she could run through every possible thought her parameters would allow.

Chell was unpredictable. GLaDOS needed Chell as much as Chell needed GLaDOS.

It was cute, almost. GLaDOS attacking Chell was like pointing an RPG at a dandelion. At some point, it’s more funny than intimidating.

For a moment, Chell imagined GLaDOS as a puppy, pawing and scratching at her leg, sure that she was doing horrible damage. Yes, you’re very strong, girl. Aaaa! I’m dead! You’ve killed me!

God, how GLaDOS would loathe that analogy. Maybe she’d push her into a fire pit with a substantial crack in the ceiling for it.

Chell wondered if GLaDOS was watching. It seemed like she awfully wanted to. Or maybe that was a lie, too, a way of making Chell paranoid the whole night through while GLaDOS was away doing more important things. Chell didn’t feel paranoid, either way. Just curious.

“What are you doing?”

Chell smiled softly.

“You’ve only been given eight hours and ten minutes in this thing. And that was me being generous. You’re just… laying there. Your body temperature hasn’t dropped in the slightest. What on earth could you be doing in there?”

“It’s nothing important, I know that. I can see you. You’re being utterly uninteresting in an infuriatingly mind-boggling way.” “Yes, I’m watching you. Big whoop, I lied. Your transgressions right now are much more obscene.”

GLaDOS was watching, after all. Interesting to know. The room was dark, and the walls were plain and solid. Not GLaDOS’ domain, unless-

She snuck a camera in. Of course. Chell could see it from right here, a pale red light dug into the ceiling. Right above her bed, watching her.

GLaDOS was almost helpless like this. Sitting there, watching. Restrained. No robot arms in here, no pneumatic tubes. She felt vulnerable, almost, like Chell could reach out and touch her for the very first time.

“Answer me. What are you doing?” “It was stupid for me to ask. You’re not going to answer. You never do.” “I hope you know that nobody finds that mute act of yours interesting at all. It’s an annoyance at best.” “Maybe you can think of some mutes you find cute. Some way of spinning this whole thing that could amount to being charming. I hope you know that it’s either that everyone else is simply doing it better than you, which wouldn’t be a surprise at this point, or your judgement is so fundamentally flawed that you don’t know right from wrong anymore.” “I know which one it is, but I’m not going to tell you. Whichever you think it is, it’s the other one, and it’s worse than you could ever imagine.”

Chell couldn’t keep the puppy analogy out of her head. It made these long swaths of insults seem like childish bickering, some insecure and desperate defense. That thought let Chell roll back her shoulders and relax. Cute almost. She wondered what GLaDOS would look like flustered. She couldn’t blush, but Chell had spotted scraps of emotion in just the way her enormous robot frame swung around its enclosure. Would it recoil, curl up in itself, like she’s trying to escape? Would her fans start whirring, the thoughts racing through her transistors overheating her core?

Chell had met plenty of women like GLaDOS. You don’t get to Chell’s level of dyke without meeting them. The straight ones, the prudes, the forty year old married ones. The ones who insist they just want to be friends.

They were the most fun to feel unravel on her fingers. She’d learned long ago how to bully their cunts until they couldn’t deny it anymore, until tears streamed down their face, as shame and denial fried their brain as hot, thick pleasure overwrote it. They always squirmed so well, clenched down on her fingers with a sob as they knew that once they came, nothing would be the same. And Chell broke them. Happily.

God, she missed breaking women. She missed how they’d lay there in the aftermath. She missed how they’d whimper and grind, trying desperately to beg for another round without having the dignity to ask. She missed how Chell could make them do anything, admit anything, and it all just made it hotter to them. She missed them spilling out ashamed confessions, tumbling out in half-baked sentences interrupted by moans as Chell fucked them hard and deep from behind. She’d always get nice and close, then, their skin touching everywhere she could make it, one hand loosely on their throat and her face sloppily buried just below their ear. They couldn’t escape Chell, no matter how hard they tried. She was going to ruin them, and she would make them drink in Chell’s everything as she did it. So they’d never forget.

It made her feel like a god.

Maybe she and GLaDOS had more in common than she thought.

part 2

#wlw nsft #wlw smut #glados #portal #portal 2 #part 1 probably #inspired by the gorgeous gorgeous portal bloggers that revived me #I hope you enjoy this slop

[inconsistentcharacterizationcomp]

The developers keep calling Wheatley stupid and insisting that he's the dumbest moron in existence, but like ????

"Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door? [to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um..." Not fluent but knows a little bit of Spanish.

"Simple word. 'Apple'. Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple. Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee." He can spell.

"I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down." Created a diversion to distract GLaDOS so he could talk to Chell.

"Hey, buddy! Ahm speaken' in an accent that is beyOnd 'er range of hearing." People think this is stupid but 1. He was planning on breaking Chell out in Test Chamber 23 but GLaDOS was planning to kill Chell after Test Chamber 21 so he had to enact the escape plan early. And 2, he had to improvise using a technique that he's likely heard of but never got the chance to learn how to do himself, which is AI voice modulation. And it's an actual thing, it's not just some weird thing he came up with out of nowhere. In an unused line, GLaDOS says this: "I can hear him. I've modulated my voice, however, so he can't hear me. What are you up to?" Like it's an actual THING cores can do, he just doesn't know how to do it because he's inexperienced.

"Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store: We are going to shut down her turret production line, alright? Turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her." He literally came up with the plan to disarm GLaDOS.

GLaDOS: "The irony is that you were almost at the last test. Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with."

Wheatley: "Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?" A real moron would have easily fallen for this trap.

"Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here." Knew to guide Chell someplace specifically where GLaDOS wouldn't be able to reach them.

"Here's an interesting story. You might like this. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. But, uh, guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism." 'Nepotism' is quite a big word for a "moron" to have in his vocabulary.

"There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image? Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan? We could get one of the crap turrets. We could put it in the scanner and see what happens. Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!" If Wheatley is supposedly the 'dumbest moron who ever lived' then what does that say about the player who can't figure out this puzzle and needs Wheatley to solve it for them?

"Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything. Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant. It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem. Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground." What kind of moron thinks about the logistics like this?

"Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new." Once again, Wheatley can spell. He isn't illiterate.

"To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them." "Facetious" is also a pretty big word for a supposed "Moron" to be honest.

"Yeah... Made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests. That I found. Lying around. Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's got it all, it's absolute dynamite." The fact that he did this while having the test somehow still be solvable is actually incredible.

Wheatley: "SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!"

GLaDOS: "Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap..." Even GLaDOS had to give him credit for that one.

"Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this: One: No portal surfaces. Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately. Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you. [...] PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!" No seriously, what kind of a moron does this?

Like my guy isn't a genius, sure, but he isn't "The dumbest moron who ever lived" he's just some awkward guy with a short attention span who probably has ADHD. Like he's literally just as smart as your average person but the game apparently wants to gaslight you into thinking that he's way dumber than he actually is.

.

#propaganda #wheatley #wheatley propaganda

[jellyfisharesatan]

Okay so I've spent the last three days almost exclusively playing portal 1 and 2, and I've so many thoughts.

First off, portal 2 is literally a perfect sequel. Expands on the first game not only in terms of game play, but also lore. There's a huge amount more game to play, and a far stronger element of exploration to the game, which adds to the out of the box thinking the game loves to promote. Portal 1, while I love it, really just sets up the basic idea of how to use portals and boxes, it's portal 2 that truly goes ham, not only expanding on these two basic elements, but also inventing more complex materials to work with.

Portal 1 also has very scarce lore; Rattmans caves, Glados having killed everyone else in the facility, and the sentience of the turrets/companion cube being the main few points. In comparison, portal 2 is chock full of a story that is paced beautifully.

Second, the theme of loneliness in the story is so heart wrenching when you think abt it for more than a second. Portal 1 is lonely in the sense that (as far as you know), you are completely alone in a testing facility because of a recently gone-rogue AI. (Yes ik Rattman is in fact alive throughout the first game but there's no way for the player to know this given that he never physically appears. It's only through the comics that we learn abt him properly).

But portal 2 drives the loneliness factor to the Max. Not only are you still trapped in the place you fought so hard to escape, you are now in a future you don't recognise. You're fighting to escape more on principle than anything else by now, because what is there to escape to? The outside world isn't your home anymore, nowhere is. The closest thing you have left is a testing facility in which you will certainly be killed if you stay too long.

You have no one truly on your side, ever. Wheatley is the closest the game ever comes to giving you an actual companion, and he immediately betrays you the first chance he gets. You're forced to work alongside your worst enemy, knowing she will probably destroy you immediately upon victory over Wheatley. Even when she doesn't, you only survive because of her mercy, she could easily have killed you a thousand times over, as the final few scenes of the game prove.

And then there's Cave and Caroline. A lonely man who's dying voice has been left to play through the abandoned salt mines turned testing facility. His original work lies discarded, centuries of science rest destroyed in layers all the way up to the surface.

Caroline is held in your hand most of the way through the salt mines, though neither you or her have any way of realising this until halfway through. Caroline, one of the few humans Cave loved, has become inhuman in his death, through his orders. Caroline doesn't even remember herself, let alone the man who preserved some level of her essence.

One thing I think portal 1 does better is the way in which the structure of the testing chambers emphasise your loneliness. The windows through which you are so clearly meant to be observed, the abandoned mad man's dens hidden in the walls. The absence of people is felt to keenly

Third, the expansion of the relationship between Chell and Glados in portal 2 is so profound. Portal 1 establishes that Glados hates your guts, but she's clearly intrigued by you in a way she just cannot let go of. So many of her decisions are irrational regarding you. Yes, it is built into Glados to want to test, but portal 2 proves that she can build robots capable of doing so, and was in the process of doing just that even in portal 1. Keeping you around to test on is inviting problems to her doorstep, and she does it anyways. And even after you attempt to kill her, her final act before collapsing herself is to preserve you in a cryo chamber rather than destroy you.

And portal 2 makes it even more clear that Glados is drawn to Chell in a way she cannot help or deny. She keeps Chell around to test on even after she's proved herself to be a borderline unstoppable nuisance, she attempts to spend her precious few facilities to talk to you while in potato form, and again, she doesn't kill you at the end, but let's you go.

Her insults in this game have a clearly fond edge to them, and her greeting of you when you both meet again is so full of emotion.

Fourth, the continued theme of AI intelligence is so fascinating. The oracle turret, the defective turrets, Wheatley, and all the funky weird little cores at the end are such fascinating additions to the game. The first portal introduced the concept of the turrets (and potentially companion cubes) being sentient, but didn't do much with it apart from making the turrets creepy (and also hauntingly sad) with their limited dialogue. But portal 2 opens up so many new pathways by making exceptions to this in the previously mentioned defective and oracle turrets. Even Wheatley is a fascinating addition, he's so full of personality in a way that is diametrically opposed to Glados.

Fifth, the continued presence of Rattman and his obsession with Chell is so haunting, especially if, like me, you only read the comics after playing both games. I thought this man was still alive until fairly recently when first playing the game, and some of the artwork by him at the start of the game does seem to imply this.

Just. Ugh. Portal strings together the bare bones of narratives so perfectly. The history of every character is so long and completely not fleshed out, all we ever see is the briefest glance of any of them. We see the most of Chell and Glados, but even then it's clear we're meeting them after a long life filled with god knows what. Perfect

Anyways. No one's gonna read this, let alone see it, but I needed to get this out and document it somewhere so here I am

#portal #portal 2 #chell #glados #wheatley #this barely even males sense but whatever #sometimes you need to go on an incomprehensible rant abt video games to feel normal again <3

[spiribia]

cut content from portal 2 where you and glados meet cave johnson's consciousness uploaded to a cube (source). after he dies, you use his corpse as a stepping stool as part of the puzzle.

//======================================= //Called when discovering the Cave Johnson cube //=======================================

//Cave: Greetings, friend. It's Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science.

//Cave: Down here! [pause] On the floor.

//Cave: That's right! It's really me. My entire living consciousness, for all eternity, inside a machine.

//Cave: Alone. On a dirty floor. In an abandoned room. At the bottom of a pit.

//Cave: My life is torture, please kill me.

//Glados: We don't have time for this.

//Cave: Hold on. Is that you, Caroline?

//Yes SIR, Mister Johnson! I'll have that report on your desk by four�thirty! [normal voice, horrified] What. In the hell. Was THAT.

//Cave: You were my assistant! The heart and soul of Aperture Science! You don't remember?

//Glados: No, Mister Johnson. I DON'T.

//Cave: See, the science boys invented me a machine to house my consciousness in. But that sounded DANGEROUS, so I volunteered you to go first. // Like a food taster, except with your soul! [chuckling] Guess they must've found a use for you after all. Oh! Which reminds me. I do need you both to kill me.

//Cave: Come on, be a sport and kill me. All you gotta do is pick me up.

//Glados: Sure

//Cave: Plug's in the back of me. Give me a good pull, it should pop right out.

//Glados: Okay.

//Cave: Now, before you say no, I want you to remember that I've lived a full life. Also, if this helps seal the deal, livin' in a computer this long's made me crazy. That's right: I am insane.

//Glados: I said we'll do it.

//Cave: Wait. I suppose tellin' you I'm not in my right mind could sway you to not unplugging me. Let me round back on the important parts: in a computer. Ceaseless torture. Monster in the eyes of god. So why don't you get on over here and unplug ol' Cave.

//Glados: If you don't unplug him, I will.

//======================================= //Called when the player kills the Cave cube //=======================================

//Cave: Ho ho! I can feel myself shuttin' down. Man, this is excitin'.

//Glados: Maybe we can stand on him to climb up.

//Cave: Oh! Room's gettin' dark. That's a good sign.

//Cave: I'm comin' for you, Caroline!

//Glados: Mister Johnson? You need to shut up.

//Cave: Ten�four!

//Cave: Here I go! The great beyond! Valhalla, home of Hercules! I can hear them winged chariots thunderin' over now!

//======================================= //Called if player lingers after using the Cave corpse to escape //=======================================

//Glados: Goodbye, sir. May whatever tests await you on the other side either support or disprove your hypotheses.

//Cave: Thank you, Caroline.

//Cave: Alright! Too much jawin', not enough dyin'. Here I go! Ah.

//======================================= //Called if player lingers after using the Cave corpse to escape //=======================================

//Glados: I'd... appreciate it... if we never... EVER talked about that... ever again.

#THIS IS LIKE PORTAL 3 TO ME. #talks #MISTER JOHNSON YOU NEED TO SHUT UP high fives everybody #apparently some of caves lines here were directly reused in Aperture Desk Job

[noahsarkisfulloffrogs]

Portal 2 is a masterpeice

I think this needs to be said. The character arc for wheatly and Galdos are both incredible. Both of them kind of switch roles and i think it's interesting to see. Firstly, Glados begins as someone who's strong in the first game this is until you (Chel) kill her, after this she is physically brought back to life by wheatly as the two of you attempt to escape the facility. She then starts forcing you to test again, but there are several instances where she seeks out to kill you. If you are sent to the incinerator you could fall down and die, if you fail too badly on one of the puzzles you could drown ect. But it's hard not to sympathise with her, in one of her dialogues she claims she was forced to live through memories of chell killing her over and over again and as a consequence to that she hates you for it, so it's understandible that she'd want to emotionally or physcially hurt chell.

However, wheatly we have only met once by this point. It's been established he isn't exactly the most compitent by this point but , he seems friendly and sweet. He seems to be checking up on you during some of the puzzles in the pannels in the walls and he's very kind to you. However, wheatly is small and rather weak in comparison with Glados.

However, this changes when wheatly takes over. Wheatly isn't a moron, I'll give him that he saw an opportunity and took it. Wheatly is disorganised, yes, and he is opportunistic but he's smart in planning out things in the short term , and not the long term. For instance, he refuses to re-examine the testing facility because he still wants chell to test because he's addicted to the rush you (the player/ chel) give him. When someone is an addict they might do anything to get the hit of whatever they want, which could explain why wheatly is ignoring the alerts, he cares about the short term rush of chell's test solving skills rather than the long term effects of ignoring the messages which could prolong the time between chelll's time solving the puzzles and not solving the puzzles . It also helps to explain the franken robots he made, because he's so desperate to get a rush from testing that he'd be willing to make something so futile just to get that rush. And as for Glados, who is now a potatoe. Is forced to work with Chell. She seems annoyed by this , which is understandible she's being forced to work with somone who legit killed her. I also think wheatly made her a potatoe because of how useless he feels. He was made to be a moron and to make Glados docile, when the scientists found a way to make Glados less murdery they put him to a different use. Wheatly probably feels envy towards glados: she got to be the smart one, she was the one who got power and would be seen positively, whilst all people saw him as was a 'moron'.

So when the final act of the game is over and wheatly no longer has access to his addiction ( testing) there could be a question posed as to whether his apology was genuine. And personally i think the answer to that question would be yes. Typically people when off substances can feel withdrawls so they could be saying that they feel bad and won't do it again to only relapse and do it again, but wheatly seems to realise that he did the wrong thing under the influence of the 'itch' and regrets it deeply and seems that he won't relapse.But tragically, due to how he's now in space, and it'll take about 5,000 years for him to actually get back to the earth, so he can't actually apologise to chell for his actions because she'll be long gone once he returns.

BUT ANYWAY THAT'S JUST MY OPPINION

#portal 2 #wheatley #glados #chell

[3na-exe]

idk if this is okay but like ? I have some miscellaneous asks and stuff if that's alright!! and you don't have to answer all of them if you don't want, of course

- how / when did you first get into your current fandoms ?

- do you have any favorite characters and why?

- how did you make/ how do you come up with your designs for those characters?

have a nice day :>

hmm, this is kinda a hard question for me since i still kinda consider myself into a lot of the media i used to like, but i'll answer using the main ones !

funnily enough, both my ultrakill & 17776 fixations both started very recently ! ultrakill was in the beginning of february i wanna say ? i knew about the game for quite a while & i was actually a big fan of the soundtrack, before i realized "hey, i should just check out the actual game" [i remember seeing some fanart for it and it intrigued me !] i watched a playthrough, and about a week later i decided to actually get the game ! for 17776, i had heard a bit about it [mostly people talking about webcomics & talking about media that changed the way they thought about life] but around the middle of march this year i was rereading DECT & i saw 17776 in the credits and decided to check it out ! i genuinely knew nothing about it prior to reading & i think that REALLY added to the experience :3

YES i do have favourite characters ! a couple i can list off the top of my head are V1 [blue robot. good character design. kills things.] juice [he talks like me & likes lunchables, & the jupiter icy moons explorer is my favourite space probe] glados [cool voice, cool design, im Not Normal about her] GABRIEL !!! [cool design, cool colour palette, REALLY GOOD voice actor, also very not normal about him] sonic [just like me irl, blue, a hedgehog] ENA [really cool design, cool story, i like her voice actors & shes just sooo cool]- & i have lots more but they're not really coming to mind right now.

i assume 'those characters' means either my 17776 designs OR my ocs- so i'll answer both ! for my 17776 designs i looked a lot at other people's designs for inspiration & to incorporate things that i liked, i also wanted to make them very robotic & be at least semi-accurate to the actual space probe designs. their outfits were a mixture of fashion that i enjoy & what i think they would actually wear. for my ocs its pretty much the same, except more self-indulgent i feel ? i look for inspiration from other people's designs and ocs, then implement what i like and add on to it. outfits are usually chosen from what i actually wear & things that i wish i could wear :3 !

#ahh this post is long but hopefully i answered ur questions well anon !! #ty for the ask :3 #ask-txt #I FORGOT I HAVE AN ASK TAG

[strawberrycircuits]

what's your favourite line/moment/place in portal

my favorite line is hard bc the entire game is just. ohh its so good. "for the record, you are adopted and thats TERRIBLE" from potatOS, "hheeeey BUDDY! AHM SPEAKIN IN AHN ACCENT THAT IS beYOND HER RANGE OF HEA R I N G" "look, metal ball? i CAN hear you" "idontneedtodothevoiceJUST RUN!" and "thats a hate crime, jer! see you in court, mate!" ohh. if i want to be more emotional i think potatOS's "goodbye, sir" at the end of ch7 and her talking about how terrifying having a conscious was and "killing you is hard. so you know what? you win. just go. its been fun, dont come back." how can i choose one

my favorite moment is, WITHOUT A DOUBT, deleting caroline. the shift in music, that long beeeep when it happens, the way glados's tone becomes more calculated but not any less heartfelt nor less emotional.... aubbfg. i throw up!!!!!!!!! (i also wanna bring up the combustible lemons speech bc YES funny jk simmons man yelling about lemons but its also? its devastating. its a man on the verge of dying due to a failing enterprise having a breakdown and talking about how hes not going to make things better, hes going to burn it all to the ground, while the ghost of caroline cheers him on (glados is no stranger to deciding to decimate everything when she thinks she ought to). which precedes the part where he reveals he wants caroline in charge of the company and potentially used in the glados project. which to me is an acknowledgement of condemning caroline to a fate she did not choose and him saying he does not care what the consequences of that are. aaaaabhhhhh)

and my favorite place is old aperture! i just adore eeeevery bit of that place and i want to know more !!!!!!!! (and im a sucker for vintage aesthetics ESPECIALLY when theyre used to imply how fucked up things were/are). close second is the exile vilify rat den. i used to spend a lot of time in there.

#i love portal sm......

[clickonmedotexe]

June 17th 2023 - Discovering Rex (Part 2)

Frederick: Well- it's high enough to be very possible!

EJ.EXE: *leans over and presses a few keys*

Frederick: *keeps watching tho*

EJ.EXE: *a picture of the person in question comes up, along with info*

EJ.EXE: * [ CHASE BENNET ] a middle aged man with brown hair, glasses and a rather kind face *

EJ.EXE: *he is wearing an Aperture labcoat in the photo and there's some info about him*

EJ.EXE: *British, 35, worked in Aperture for a decade, has several degrees in computer science*

EJ.EXE: ........

EJ.EXE: See, that is not me

EJ.EXE: I am not even British

EJ.EXE: *he is still alive*

EJ.EXE: *and if Freddy does some digging, he'd find that fortunately, he was fired before GLaDOS killed off everyone else*

Frederick: *??*

Frederick: *!*

Frederick: *eyes light up*

Frederick: Have you tried to contact him?

EJ.EXE: .........................

EJ.EXE: No

EJ.EXE: Why would I

Frederick: ..........

Frederick: *blank face*

Frederick: Why not?

EJ.EXE: ...........

EJ.EXE: I don't want to

Frederick: ..............

Frederick: *Are you for real now*

Frederick: ... You said you wanted to find out who created you

EJ.EXE: Yes, I want you to do some scans and tell me

EJ.EXE: I dont want to go around calling random people

EJ.EXE: Tsk

EJ.EXE: It's even more work

Frederick: But he is not random, he worked in there as well

Frederick: What if he got involved before they fired him?

Frederick: Hmm

Frederick: Besides, we don't know know reasons of that

EJ.EXE: What do you want to do, Frederick?

EJ.EXE: Call him and ask if he developed a sentient virus for his work?

EJ.EXE: Explain you are a total stranger but you want to know why he got fired?

EJ.EXE: HA

EJ.EXE: Stupid

Frederick: *spawns in a glowy screen*

Frederick: *aaand messages to CB about the whole Vir case*

EJ.EXE: ................

EJ.EXE: Are you serious

EJ.EXE: ......

Frederick: You gotta try all options, you know

Frederick: Otherwise you won't manage the task

Frederick: .....

EJ.EXE: *CB messages back a few minutes later, asking who Freddy is and why he wants to know about some virus*

Frederick: *def sends details & proof links on some Vir's activities*

EJ.EXE: *CB sends back a link to 'Top 10 Best Free Antiviruses!'*

Frederick: .........

EJ.EXE: *he doesnt really understand why Freds is asking him this*

Frederick: ....................

EJ.EXE: *although it is definitely HIS signature in the virus' code*

Frederick: *sends a report with data telling antiviruses don't work, so they are looking for possible creators of Vir who were his ex co-workers*

Frederick: *sends a line of codes with the signature as well*

Frederick: *Well gotta see if he is lying or someone just picked his name for some reason*

EJ.EXE: *for a long moment, there is no answer*

Frederick: *glances at Vir as he waits*

Frederick: You know, if I actually figure this case out for you

Frederick: You are going to pay me a favor back

EJ.EXE: .......

EJ.EXE: Like what?

Frederick: Like stopping possessing other people and hurting them.

Frederick: *Nl: :3*

Frederick: *..........*

EJ.EXE: *then he sends back another message, explaining that the only reason programs would have his signature on them is because the equipment he used back as an employee would automatically add them onto all of his creations. mostly so aperture could figure out which programmer to blame in case something goes wrong*

Frederick: *What, it doesn't seem like EJ minded much*

EJ.EXE: .....

EJ.EXE: That's too big of a favor

EJ.EXE: You are just asking me to change my lifestyle~

Frederick: .... You know that if it's otherwise then I'll have to catch all of your parts

Frederick: And believe me, I will manage it

EJ.EXE: I can promise not to hurt your Stanley-

Frederick: *smiles*

EJ.EXE: *scoffs*

EJ.EXE: Oh, you wish

Frederick: I am asking you to think on your errors

Frederick: ....

Frederick: Unless you want to be destroyed after all

EJ.EXE: ......

EJ.EXE: *smiles sweetly* I'll think about it

Frederick: You know, I can't keep arguing with Stanley Jackson and some others forever

EJ.EXE: *tho it looks more like a toothy grin than a sweet smile*

Frederick: I only have some little time on this

Frederick: .......

Frederick: *is not impressed*

Frederick: You gotta try it.

EJ.EXE: I can take care of Jackson

EJ.EXE: For good

Frederick: ......... See this is exactly why people wanna destroy you

Frederick: But I only wanna do a research!

EJ.EXE: *scoffs*

EJ.EXE: Then keep doing your research

EJ.EXE: That programmer just replied, stop bothering me about morality topics

Frederick: .....

Frederick: *glances back at his screen*

Frederick: .................

Frederick: [ Does that mean the virus is one of your creations? ]

Frederick: .......

Frederick: [ Did you create AIs, didn't you? ]

Frederick: [ Apparently one of them ended up being corrupted. ]

EJ.EXE: [CB: I promise you, I don't know of any virus. I had access to various areas, but at the end of my work, we were moving on to more experimental tests ]

EJ.EXE: [CB: I am deleting this conversation after we speak, by the way. I doubt they will sue me after so long but I don't want to take the chances ]

Frederick: ........

EJ.EXE: [CB: If...any of them are still alive ]

Frederick: [ Do you remember names of those who worked with you? Could I have them, please? I have ways of checking. ]

EJ.EXE: *he does give him the few names he remembered*

Frederick: *CB is v nice*

EJ.EXE: *is watching this all, his brows furrowed*

Frederick: *idk i would put freds in blacklist for bothering about old job stuff xd*

Frederick: *...........*

EJ.EXE: *awww*

Frederick: *Hmph*

EJ.EXE: *well he sent proof about vir though*

Frederick: *Blacklists are easy to hack*

EJ.EXE: *otherwise he'd think freds was a reporter or a blogger looking for gossip*

Frederick: *!*

Frederick: *saves names in his files*

Frederick: *thanks him*

Frederick: *does some scanning and digging on names (again)*

EJ.EXE: *however*

EJ.EXE: *they're all dead*

Frederick: *is def curious*

Frederick: *Aw*

EJ.EXE: *thanks to GLaDOS*

Frederick: Aw

Frederick: *sigh*

EJ.EXE: *while he was scanning, another message popped up from CB* 

Frederick: *murmurs* GLaDOS never changes... 

EJ.EXE: She knew how to make use of her power 

EJ.EXE: I admire her~ 

Frederick: *?* 

Frederick: *glances at the message* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: There is...one incident that might be useful for you] 

Frederick: What, have you witnessed her? 

EJ.EXE: [CB: But] 

EJ.EXE: *then a looong pause* 

Frederick: Now I wonder if you have seen a Chell... 

Frederick: ...... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: I don't know] 

EJ.EXE: No 

EJ.EXE: I have read about her online 

Frederick: [ I appreciate anything that might be helpful! ] 

Frederick: .....

EJ.EXE: [CB: I hope it's not relevant. I should've been more careful and I wasn't ] 

Frederick: Well, what they tell on the Internet is usually quite far away from how things were in reality 

EJ.EXE: [CB: It was why they fired me and why I am still alive, I guess. Otherwise I would've been gassed as well ]

EJ.EXE: *sarcastically* You don't say

Frederick: Unless it's a trusty source with evidences 

Frederick: ...... 

Frederick: *?* 

Frederick: [ They fired you because you weren't careful enough? ] 

Frederick: *Hmmm* 

Frederick: *Gee* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Someone broke into my equipment and...attempted to upload themself ] 

Frederick: *I hope AI(s) getting corrupted is not because a few mistakes done in codes* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Actually, I know who it was ] 

Frederick: *!* 

EJ.EXE: [CB: He was my friend and I should've known better than to trust him ] 

Frederick: [ Oh- this could explain the whole case ] 

EJ.EXE: [CB: But I did, I thought he wouldn't possibly do something so stupid, and yet it ended with his death and my firing] 

Frederick: ......................... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: God, I hope you are wrong. Because that's]

EJ.EXE: [CB: Awful] 

Frederick: *Wait* 

Frederick: [ I am sorry ] 

Frederick: .... 

Frederick: [ Could you please tell his name? ] 

EJ.EXE: ............... 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Sure ] 

EJ.EXE: [CB: Rex Townsend ] 

EJ.EXE: ............................... 

Frederick: *niiice* 

Frederick: ............ 

Frederick: Rex Townsend, hmm

Frederick: Does it ring a bell to you? 

EJ.EXE: *it took me ages to come up with a good name lmao* 

Frederick: *Nl: Sent by Town of the Stupid ;3* 

Frederick: *............................................* 

EJ.EXE: *...........* 

EJ.EXE: *griiiiiips the chair a bit too tightly* 

Frederick: *Nl: Smart people don't try copypasting their minds into computers~~ ;3* 

EJ.EXE: *EJ's eyes are glowing* 

Frederick: ....... 

Frederick: Oh I see it now 

EJ.EXE: *you have a point neil* 

Frederick: You are a copy, then. 

Frederick: Hmm 

Frederick: Of course

EJ.EXE: *hisses* No I'm not 

Frederick: An AI would not show signs of denial 

EJ.EXE: Shut up 

EJ.EXE: Shut up, Frederick 

EJ.EXE: ............. 

Frederick: Your reaction is irrational 

Frederick: That proves my theory. 

EJ.EXE: You don't have any proof but your theory 

EJ.EXE: ....... 

Frederick: *can't help but be pleased* 

Frederick: Why, I do 

Frederick: So do you 

Frederick: Something tells me, the data about the day is saved in one of your distant parts 

Frederick: It might be corrupted but it's still in there, somewhere

Frederick: .... 

EJ.EXE: No. 

Frederick: But you won't reach out to it 

Frederick: Because you are scared 

Frederick: Because you are not an AI 

Frederick: As an AI would have already done it. 

Frederick: *knowing look* 

Frederick: Maybe you stick to your little games and messing with people 

Frederick: Because it is a way for you to procrastinate and escape from trying something like that 

Frederick: .... 

Frederick: In any case 

EJ.EXE: I am not s͡c̷ar͘e̶d͝ 

Frederick: I think this case is solved 

Frederick: *waves away his screen*

EJ.EXE: *he can also catch it now if he wants ahem* 

Frederick: There's one last thing to do.... 

EJ.EXE: *keeps glowering at the screens* 

EJ.EXE: *as if the words will change and prove he is right after all* 

Frederick: *sends a report with data & messages to Max tho* 

#chatzynanigans #＜/games＞ #long post #＜/meat puppet＞ #magickshenanigans #chase bennet #there we go #the big name and backstory reveal lol #vir is and always will be so lame

[eggsmuses-a]

@quillheel cracked: “I’m not even close to kidding.” / fr0m gIad0s t0 wheatIey!

lazy moment / closed

#ﾞ ᴡ ——— ❝ Hahaha !! Haha, ha-- ❞ Wheatley's squinted optic quickly shrinks back into a pimple as he processes GLaDoS' words — she wasn't kidding ? But-- but that was profound ! Who would be diabolical enough to even suggest that ?

❝ You're not kidding ? Hang on, hang on, rewind please. That's not a joke ? Not ... not even a little bit ? ❞ The core is still like a deer in headlights; if he DOESN'T move, if he closes his optics enough to the point he can't see her, she can't see him. That was how that worked. Right. Yes. [Absolutely flawless, stunning. You've done it again, Wheatley. You're no moron, you're the most intelligent core in this facility — for sure !]

But she can definitely still see him, &. the burning gaze that Wheatley could assume was on him told as much. He twirls around, hoping that facing his backside to GLaDoS may deter her before ultimately deciding it's no use.

He glances back around, voice cracking with peeps suitable to a baby chick, ❝ ... it was a real funny joke though. Got a-- um. Got a good chuckle from me. Haha, nice one. Better write it down &. use it for a comedy skit. It- it'll win thousands, y'know ? That part where you said you'd kill me. Yeah. Real funny. ❞

Wheatley sinks back further &. further the more he speaks, wishing he knew how to shut up. How could he be such a blabbermouth !? Especially right now ! No, his thoughts had to be constantly incoherent &. run circles into one another whenever Wheatley gets nervous. He believed this was something called "self-esteem" — something most employees of Aperture lacked back before they all, y'know, died.

Horrible. Miserable. Painful deaths. Neurotoxins are not a pleasant way to go out, probably why She enjoyed them so much. He saw somewhere, on a website called Goggle (?) that certain poisonous gases constrict the airways &. cause palpitations, it feels like the skin is shrinking over the skeleton. Eyes feel like they melt from the sockets--

Yeah. Wheatley isn't sure how much of that is true considering the test subjects would be in too much pain to describe what's happening when they inhale the gases. Also, they're lethal.

❝ &. you know, I'm something of a comedian myself. I could share some tips &. tricks. We could collab. Maybe. It's up to you, after all, BUT CONSIDER IT ! If you don't crush me into a teeny tiny cube that is. If I live through this we could do stand-up together. Just keep that in mind before you try anything. Trust. You'll want to think this through. ❞

#/cannot believe wheatley offered to do a collab with glados #/aperture is healing #quillheel #( mr blue sky; please tell us why ) -- wheatley ic #main / quillheel #main / glados #( 🥚 ) -- glados #( .. ) -- thread #( v.i ) -- wheatley #/ANYWAY i love my little moron so much #/this ball. dopamine #ask to tag // #gore // #/not really but better safe than sorry

[nepeta-leijon-official]

(I wanted to write this so like. Here ya go)

Caroline's voice echoes through the vast expanse of GLaDOS' mind. Or at least that's what it sounded like.

"Gladdie? May I come in?"

"One second...alright, come in."

Even in her mind, GLaDOS had a room for herself. It was wide and barren, a screen showing the view through her body's eye. She turned away from it to look down at Caroline.

"Yes, do you need something?"

Caroline smiled up at GLaDOS, sitting crosslegged on the floor.

"I just thought you could use some company. We're running low on test subjects now, right?"

GLaDOS let out a heavy sigh, her chassis lowering so her head was closer to Caroline.

"Killing them isn't...fun anymore. But I can't exactly stop now."

"I know. It's...it's sort of miserable around here."

"Tell me about it." GLaDOS almost turned around to face the screen again, but was stopped by Caroline putting her hand on GLaDOS' face.

"Hey. I, uh..."

Caroline's cheeks went pink.

"You're doing a great job, Gladdie. I'm proud of you. You're handling all this so well, and you have such a passion for what you do...it's inspiring. Thank you."

GLaDOS scrutinized Caroline for a minute, knowing innately that she was being genuine but still feeling skeptical. It was very sudden, but GLaDOS supposed she didn't mind. It felt really nice.

"Of course I'm doing a great job! But..." GLaDOS squirmed bashfully, "Thank you. I don't hear that often."

"I know. It's a crying shame."

Caroline put her arms around GLaDOS' head as best she could and gave her a little kiss.

"Also, thank you for making eternity less horrible. You're great."

"...You're great too, Caroline."

Caroline sat back down. GLaDOS nudged her affectionately, which made Caroline giggle. GLaDOS finally turned her attention back to the screen, watching the tests.

AKSKWKEKEKE I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM THEY ARE THE THEY THEM HRKWJFKS ??? I AM FERAL AJDND

#ask #bibi tag

[ghostlyerlkonig]

"you have to remember the needs of a character" yeah in game play context. Theyre not real. If I want a certain ending; definitely. But at the end of the day its just a game. Same as the ut genocide route. I did make the decision to do it but you know what it doesn't do? Hurt people — Real people. Real people are my concern, real people are who i advocate and care for. Pixels are not.

Pixels are not sentient. There is no HAL, there is no GLaDOS, there is no AM. None of these pixels feel anything nor are they capable of it. They're stories. And we don't arrest writers do we. Nor should we, thought crimes are fucked.

Alan Wake is fake, that one movie about the author writing the guys life is fake, Free Guy is fake, I promise they're fake.

My empathy toward a character ends when I am no longer playing, when they are not there anymore. My empathy toward Real People does not.

Yes, for me, my own feelings often push to do the "right thing" I have painfully strong morals, but I also quicksave and kill all of whiterun sometimes.

Sometimes I want to know what happens if I push a character just enough that they end in a gruesome way. Same way I come up with really fun gory death scenes in my writing. What does Boone do if I fuck around just right? How long will Arcade keep his head if I hand him off?

But in the end, again, it's all fake. Yes I have my own icks in fiction, one I'm running head strong into right now is Serana and romancing her as it resides in the game and in fan creation, i have no desire to write a story in which she is a romance viable character so im not. Others like that. I dont. Big woop. Who cares. Shes fake.

But most importantly I have the wherewithal to know that game actions do not reflect or affect or change or warp my real actions.

Not all of us play ourselves either lmao. Roleplay is roleplay.

#side eyeing a certain group of peoples verbal abuse at real people over a different fake vampire #simplest thing to do #protect Your peace #block people liberally #and use mute options #and dont censor words so that a mute doesnt catch it you fuckera

[thedorklegacy]

The Dork Legacy 4.4 part 1

Warnings: Yes, I actually have warnings this time. If you are offended by someone who loves both France and Japan, jokingly making fun of French and Japanese stereotypes, then you may not want to read this! Also, mild swearing.

Last time! GladOS ran her little produce shop, made a friend, and then killed him! Bilbo and Shelby got old, and Einstein died. Vanessa did, too, but not before having an affair with her son-in-law, whose wife then immediately slept with her coworker and got knocked up. Janeway, Jean Luc, and Q all became toddlers, and were adorable. Jane Stacks and Roman fell in love after she complained to him, for some ungodly reason.

Oh, and while I don't believe I got a picture of him doing so, but Mr. Dumble aged prematurely because of all the stress a strange glitch.

Blocks: FREEDOM!

Dude, Jean Luc, maybe you should be a little more careful when playing...D:

Roman: Dude! Mom! Congrats on learning how to pee in the toilet! I just learned how to do that shit like yesterday, I have no idea how hard it must have been for you...being, you know...penis challenged.

Right. Roman, go do something useful. Like apologizing to your estranged wife.

Roman: I was weak! You were never there for me!

Margaret: Dude, I was in the room.

Roman: Hey, first come, first served. Or, more like, first served, first COME!

Margaret: ...

Roman: Anyway, I'm really really sorry and I probably promise never to do it again for a while!

Margaret: Well, whatever. Just take care of my bastard son and we'll call it even.

Roman: Deal! Sex now?

Filcher: Oh I am so out of here.

This is for Willoughby. I figured, why the hell not? Also, abs on pregnant meshes? No thank you!

...No comment.

Anyway, off to Downtown!

Andrzej: That is one fine piece of aged ass!

Margaret's Coworker and Father of Her Bastard Child: *is here too*

These people also showed up.

...And this.

Gee, Willoughby, I know they said "casual dress," but don't you think that's a little overboard?

Willoughby: I'm old. I can do whatever I want.

Yeah. That's...not really the place for that, dear.

Willoughby: Old. Whatever I want.

Willoughby: And what I want now is to dance! *smustles*

While all of these people are injuring enjoying themselves dancing...

Originally posted at katu_sims.

#the dork legacy #gen4

[jawbonejoe]

Portal 2 teaches us the lesson that no matter how awful a genius with life and death power is, an idea with that same power is infinitely worse

#Glados wants to kill all of us yes #Wheatley wants to kill anything that bumps his ego which will inevitably be more things that us

[wheatley-imagine-scenarios]

Newlywed Game Part 1

GLaDOS: Since everyone says we sound like a married couple who only stays together for the kids,

Wheatley: *nods in agreement*

GLaDOS: we're doing a game for married couples. So write down your favorite color.

Wheatley: My favorite color?

GLaDOS: Yes.

Wheatley: Okay

GLaDOS: I think your favorite color is blue, sky blue specifically.

Wheatley: Correct! I didn't write sky blue,, but that's even more true.

GLaDOS: Now what is my favorite color? *writes*

Wheatley: Well I heard a lot of marking, more than it would have taken to write yellow. But it is yellow, so maybe you wrote golden yellow?

GLaDOS: *turns over whiteboard*

Wheatley, reading: 'Yellow, moron'. Of course.

GLaDOS: What frightens you the most?

Wheatley: Oh please, easy.

GLaDOS: I actually don't-

Wheatley: Oh, you know.

GLaDOS: Do I?

Wheatley: I've said it so many times.

GLaDOS: Oh, I know what it is.

Wheatley: Tell me.

GLaDOS: Birds.

Wheatley: Yes, of course it's birds. Killing machines. They're going to kill us all. Except, they're also an important part of our ecosystem, so-

GLaDOS: What would you request as your last meal?

Wheatley: Oh,, What would you request?

GLaDOS: No, what would you request? I have to guess it.

Wheatley: You'd think I would've figured out this format by question 6.

GLaDOS: Wheatley, what did you come up with?

Wheatley: I don't know, you're supposed to guess.

GLaDOS: Shit. I would just say,, really good chicken fingers?

Wheatley: Chicken fingers!

GLaDOS: I like that you didn't specify the best chicken fingers, just-

Wheatley: Just open the bag of frozen nuggets. I'm a simple man.

GLaDOS: Next question, who would you say is better when it comes to making love? You or me?

Wheatley: ,,Are you serious?

GLaDOS: That's the question. Rick made these for us, you know.

Wheatley: I don't know your technique

GLaDOS: Well, think about it.

Wheatley: Okay,, What do you think I said?

GLaDOS: You.

Wheatley: Me! In perfect cursive (it's not) with a heart and a balloon :)

GLaDOS, sarcastically: I can't believe it.

Wheatley: Time to ask you the same question, GLaDOS,

GLaDOS: It's me.

Wheatley: Okay,,

GLaDOS: If you could get rid of one of my things, what would you get rid of?

Wheatley: Why would I want to get rid of one of your things??

GLaDOS: You have to choose.

Wheatley: Okay, I'll come to your house and throw away your stuff, fine. What do you think, GLaDOS?

GLaDOS: ,, Fuck.

Wheatley: Am I allowed to give a single hint?

Rick, behind the camera: Yeah, but it can only be three words long.

Wheatley: Oh, okay. Uh, you want to.

GLaDOS: The smell in my library?

Wheatley: Your bookshelf that smells like pee. GLaDOS has a bookshelf in her house that smells like horrible urine.

GLaDOS: It is horrible

Wheatley: I don't know why!

GLaDOS: I don't know either, it was recently painted.

Wheatley: No one's peed on it, to my knowledge.

GLaDOS: Now, if I could get rid of something of yours

Wheatley: Of mine.

GLaDOS: You want to.

Wheatley: Oh,, What do I have that I want to get rid of? My crippling anxiety?

GLaDOS: Your crippling fucking anxiety.

Wheatley: :D

#There might be a part two later #because theres a part two to the video #source: game grumps #wheatley #human Wheatley #glados #human glados #rick #rick adventure core #portal #portal 2 #incorrect quotes