A lesbian, a bisexual, and a DILF walk into a room.
idk man.
crossed posted on ao3.
it's a drabble- 1090 words. no spoilers btw.
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TW: strong language (it wouldn't be my story if there wasn't at least one F-bomb) the overuse of the word DILF, gay panics, unedited- like really. i finished it five minutes ago and i'm refusing to read it. (If there is anything else let me know.)
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“What a fucking DILF.” Skylor smirked, glancing at Kai, who was drooling at the sight of one of their customers. Dressed in ripped black skinny jeans, a distressed band tank top, with tattoos covering any open space on his dark skin. Black hair tied up in a bun with little wispies of bangs framing his face, showing off multiple ear piercings. But most of all, the man had a small kid, dressed in a green dragon onesie next too him. This man was a mother-fucking DILF at it’s finest.
“Yeah.” Kai whispered. “DILF.” He licked his lips, bronze eyes following the unfairly attractive man.
Skylor snorted. “Don’t say I don’t know your type.”
Kai rolled his eyes. “Well, we did date.”
The red-head scoffed. “Yeah, because we dated for five months when we were fourteen. Not because we’ve been best-friends since we were eleven.”
“Yeah. Totally.” Kai smirked, sharing a knowing glance with her. But before Skylor could retort anything back, the DILF and his kid came up to the counter. “Hi! What can I help you with?” Kai asked, voice slightly higher-pitched than normal.
“Customer service voice activated.” Skylor said under her breathe. Kai elbowed her in the gut.
The DILF just looked at his kid, who was on his tippy toes, hands gripping the counter as bright green eyes stared up at Kai. That’s when Kai realized the stark difference between the two. The kid was as white as ever with a mop of blond hair. The only thing that was similar about them was that the DILF had hetrochromia. One of his eyes matched the green of the kid’s eyes. “What will it be kiddo?” The DILF prompted.
The boy gave Kai a toothy smile, one of his top front tooth was missing. He handed Kai a plastic card with the Arcade’s logo on it. “How many poin’s do we have?”
Kai returned the smile and took the offered card, swiping it on the card reader. He tapped the card against the desk until the points total came up. “Alrighty guys, you’re gonna have 1775 points and $22.59 left!” Kai told them, handing the card back to the kid.
The kid stared bouncing on his heels as he stared up at his dad, card in hand. The man chuckled. “Okay kiddo, what do you say? More games or are you done?”
“Games!” The kid cheered, rushing off to win more tickets.
The DILF snorted, watching his kid for a second before turning towards Kai. “Thanks.” He gave Kai a small smile.
Kai’s bisexual heart died right then and there. “No problem!”
The man of Kai’s dreams gave Kai another smile before chasing after his kid. “L! Be careful!”
The second the man left, Kai put his face in his hands groaning. “Dammnn. You got it bad.” Skylor snorted.
Kai jumped, forgetting that she was there. He glanced back at her and rolled his eyes. “No fucking duh, Sky.”
Skylor’s hazel eyes alit with mischief. “You should ask him out.”
Kai raised a brow. “Y’know he probably has a wife.”
“I didn’t see a ring.”
“Then girlfriend.” Kai tried.
“Why are you assuming he’s straight?” Skylor asked, putting her elbow on Kai’s shoulder.
Kai pushed her off. “He has a kid.”
“And?” Skylor prompted. “That kid is the complete opposite in looks of the man. If anything, he’s probably a babysitter.”
“Or the kid’s mom is white as fuck.”
Skylor rolled her eyes. “I mean- yeah. Point.”
Kai smirked. “Also we have no fucking clue how old he is.”
Skylor ‘hmm’d,’ looking back over where the games were. “He looks fairly young. That’s why I said he was a babysitter.”
“Okay yeah, but what about his tattoos?” Kai asked, giving her a pointed stare. “Not a lot of people can get that many tattoos that young- do you know how expensive tattoos are?”
Skylor huffed, crossing her arms. “Still doesn’t hurt to try.”
Kai laughed out of surprise. “Yes it does!”
The red-head rolled her eyes. “You’re just scared of ruining your record.”
Kai sniffed. “Listen- Sky- he is so out of my league- I can’t.”
Skylor cackled. Kai stared at her in disdain. She gasped for breath. “I never thought I would see the day the Kai Soleil Smith would admit that someone was out of his league!” A few tears slipped out of pure joy. Meanwhile Kai was pouting, tan arms crossed. Skylor flashed Kai a toothy grin. “Wait until I tell Nya.”
Kai tensed, eyes wide. “You wouldn’t fucking dare.”
Skylor, small giggles still escaping her every so often, just tapped her finger against her chin, pretending to be in thought. “Maybe.” She gave him a sly grin. “We’ll see if I can get this DILF’s number for you first!” Skylor cheered, racing off to find the black haired man.
“Skylor Adrie-” Kai began to shout but couldn’t chase after her as a new customer entered the prize room. Kai huffed, moving back to his place behind the counter. He can’t leave the customer in the prize store alone.
As it turns out, the customer was just browsing, scoping out the prize they want and how many tickets they need for that prize. Kai sighed, watching as the customer leave, not even bothering to glance at Kai. When they left, Skylor returned, with no slip of paper in her hand. That was enough to give Kai the slightest bit of hope, until he saw her smirk. He groaned.
“He’s single~” Skylor sing-songed, placing her elbows on the counter. “And he’s gay and he’s twenty.”
“O-oh.” Kai stammered, heat rising on his cheeks.
Skylor grinned. “And he didn’t give me his number because he wanted to give it to you. Personally.”
“Oh.” Kai squeaked, burrowing his face in his hands.
Skylor laughed, patting her best friend on his back. “Good luck, loveboy.” She whispered in his ear, before wandering off to bother whoever was at the snackbar, leaving Kai to his gay panic.
A few minutes later, Kai still had his face buried in his hands, meaning he didn’t see the DILF approaching him. “Hey… you okay?” He asked.
Kai jumped, startled. Looking up and meeting mauve and green eyes. “H-hey!” Kai stammered. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine.” Kai gave the man a small smile. “Uh, I’m Kai.” He put his hand out.
The DILF chuckled. “I know.” He nodded towards Kai’s nametag.
Kai groaned, rubbing his face. “Of course.” He muttered.
“It’s okay!” The DILF reassured. He put his hand out, meeting Kai’s. “I’m Cole.”
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hope I made you feel smthin lol :)
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