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#Gandalf I'll accept
iamakiller · 7 days ago
Charlie!
Anatomy of a Killer was perfection as always! I’ve been awed by and in love with your writing since day one.
I’ve always wondered, are there any characters or personalities, real or fictional, from whom you’ve drawn to create your Killer Charlie? Or any other external influences behind his persona? He’s so nuanced and deep that I’m constantly amazed.
As an aside, you and Contesa are both wrong. Gandalf and the Ring Wraiths are tied for best LOTR characters.
Shannon!
Thank you very much.  I’m so glad you enjoyed Anatomy of a Killer.  I must also thank you for your enthusiastic support since the beginning of this blog.
With regards to your question, I have had a fascination with American serial killers since my early teens, when I checked the book “Mindhunter” by John E. Douglas out of the library on a whim and read the whole thing in one night.  I’ve always been interested in the darker aspects of the human mind, and especially the why of a person becoming a killer.  Although I never even considered choosing to pursue psychology or criminology as a career path, nor indeed murder.)  I wasn’t inspired by any particular individual, but I’m sure that the ridiculous amount of knowledge I’ve crammed into my brain over the years played its part.
A major influence in terms of how I chose to unravel Charlie’s story was undoubtedly the Netflix documentary series “I Am A Killer” (I swear I had completely forgotten the name of the show when I named this blog!) which deliberately and carefully unfurls the story of each episode in such a way that you feel horror and compassion in equal parts for the titular individual by the end of the hour.  
Other than that, I'm not knowingly aware of any other influences.  Killer Charlie is all mine, I’m afraid!
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idjitlili · 3 months ago
Text
Hello there.
Kili x reader x obi-wan(slightly)
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(Not my image)
Summary: Annoying the company with your 'sword'  pretending it's not a metal sword, being unladylike. When in fact it wasn't a sword...it was a lightsaber.
Word count:6036
Warnings: Obi-wan , language, food stealing, dwarf nudity, put some clothes on!
Y/h/c= Your home country.
It was no secret, that you weren't from middle earth, with your strange speech, strange references, oh and the simple fact that you had fallen from the sky knocking Kili right out. Not just Kili but yourself before. You would've been quite embarrassing; if you were awake. Lucky you.
When you eventually you did awake, you were surrounded by below average height men , and man with a grey hair and wizards hat. One of the smaller men? Or dwarf you weren't sure if this was even real, it was strange to see such shorter men. His hair dark, shoulder length, not styled well compared to all the others, as for his beard..it was just stubble. The other men had long braided beards.
Yet there sat this man, very different to the others , barely with it, like he had hit his head, there you felt it , your head felt like your brain was going to pop out. You noticed , a smaller fellow jumping behind the small man to see, his curly blond her upon his head, was all to be seen.
The man that looked right out of a wrestling ring, glared at you , judging you, as did the one with ocean eyes and majestic hair. You hands behind you in the dry dirt, your heart beating heavily, shaking almost. "Uhm, w-what is h-" you didn't even get a sentence out before you were interrupted by the beardless short man.
"Well you fell out of the sky and fell on me, knocking me straight out." The man was not quite happy, "uhm, I guess I'm sorry? I didn't plan from falling from the sky, I'll try next time to see where I'm falling, but oh right, I never consented to be thrown from the sky, last time I was conscious I was- actually I do not remember." Blabbering on, even though really you should be terrified.
In the end , Gandalf and Thorin questioned you, as if they were Holt and Terry, Gandalf being Terry.
"Where do you come from, human?" The mans face frowning, the same as he had as you awoke, he spoke with sternly, as if you were a threat. Extremely intimidating. Now the others had left ,as you now sat in front of the two men.
"Uh, y/h/c." Their clothing didn't sit right with you, nor did you ever see anyone with such extreme hair styles. Maybe it was a cult?  The old man , and the slightly younger man looked at each other , then back to you , clearly confused, well the younger one anyways.
"Tell me dear, have you ever heard of Erebor?"
Thus, for whatever reason you were apart of this dwarven company, as it were.  No one was sure what in gods earth caused you to be here, well there's no 'God' in middle earth, not called God anyways.
Honestly, you didn't know what to do with yourself: no blankets, no spare clothes, no nothing except you , your thin graphic t-shirt, jeans and shoes.  Thorin was definitely no help, oh yes and no money. Who would accept plastic notes as currency here? Nor were coins from where you lived were made from gold.
Oh wait you did actually have something other than you and your clothes , you had tiny little sword, which was in fact just an letter opener, you must've been opening the post before you fell out of the sky.
Not only was it awkward between you and all the dwarves, you did not fit in. Oh yes, Gandalf explained to you that elves and wizards existed, basically explained everything. Thorin had decided this was the place they would rest for the night, so you didn't have to do any travelling... except from falling out of the sky.
You could only think, it must suck to shit squatting, oh yes you'd have to face shitting the forest soon enough... without toilet paper too. It is not even like you can be certain that no one is going to walk into the forest and find you shitting or even worse no pads bleeding out.
You were definitely not looking forward to that,  since there was no confirmation that you'd be getting home anytime soon.
So, now as the day grew dark, you sat against a large rough pine tree, the cold from the ground rising up your body. Knees pulled right up to your chest, your arms tight around, as goose bumps covered you like paint covers a wall. Hair dropping down your face as you leaned forward head on top of your knees.Staring at your feet, and the ground.
You thought on what your family must think, maybe it was like the labyrinth and they had forgotten that you had even existed. Bloody hell, Jareth, you didn't even wish for this to happen.
Not breaking out of thought when three pairs of boots, and a pair of overly large hair feet, were stood in front of you.  "Lass?"  Even then, you didn't realise, only noticing their presence when a hand was placed onto your shoulder.
Only then did you realise, looking up to see the the beardless man that you knocked out, somehow, another man with a hat , the other below average height man that looked like lion cross Seth rogen , and the jumping small fellow. "O-oh hi?"   Strange that's the only way you could put it, the two brunettes grinning largely down at you.
"Excuse their bad manners, my lady. That is Kili, my brother , Bofur, and this little fellow is Bilbo Baggins... Oh right, and I am Fili at your service." Each of them doing a little bow, Bilbo's face redden a little , being called little. What did he expect, 'Oh yes, this giant fellow with the fat ass is Bilbo.'  Them staring at you waiting for you to introduce yourself.
"Uh, I'm y/n."  Standing up , daring to do a small curtsey, with a small blush, surprised really that anyone had even approached you.
"Beautiful name, perfect, I guess I'm falling for you already, miss y/n , you know since you knocked me out."
You almost blushed at the m-Kili's words, now blushing in embarrassment. "I didn't me-" "he's only messin' with yer, lass, don't yer worry," The hatted dwarf know as Bofur had smiled at you, only to get a jab in the side by kili, only for him to return it twice as hard.
"I'm sorry, miss y/n? I'm just wondering about your clothing-" Bilbo had began to questions your clothing choice, only to be interrupted, bad manners? Definitely. "Yes, those pants are very lovely, can you do a spin-" "OI," A big muscly man, the one that had glared at you earlier had smacked the beardless dwarf on the back of his head, letting out a Yelp of pain.
"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted was, are you not cold? You are barely dressed!" You had choked out a snort, at the hobbit , who had glared at Kili, he really did not like dwarves interrupting, well anyone, he's not racist.
"I'm not dressed? You've got no socks on! My mum would have scolded me, even if I just got out of the bath. 'Y/n, where's your socks! You are going to get ill! Y/n, I don't care if you have just sat down, go get your bloody socks on.' "  Starring back at you feet, now stretched across the mud, it was incredibly awkward, well until they had started laughing.
"That's just like our Amad, right, fee?" Kili had called to his brother, before sitting down on the mud near you. "Oh yes, remember when Amad told you not eat all that cake-" Looking over to Kili who's face flushed red, interrupting his brother.
"Don't you dare."  Bofur , Fili and Bilbo sat down,  you sat in a circle, Fili trying to hold back from laughing. "Well ye gotta tell us now,Fili." Bofurs hand supported his head eager for Fili to continue. Bilbo the same, he loved stories.  Kili's pleading eyes, were no match for his brother.
"Alright, so he ate all the cake, this stuff was heavily creamed, sweets covered it, it could feed 12 dwarves, that's saying a lot. Our Amad strictly told us, mostly Kili, not to eat it."
Fili's moustache braids jiggled as he talked, very distracting, letting out a small chuckle while talking a breath.  "Anyways, Amad woke up in the morning, she was not happy at all, she had yelled so loud, that me, Kili, and Thorin were awoken from upstairs. All three of us rushed down the stairs, to see the table with no cake, just the plate. Amad  stood there with her face redder than a smacked bosom, hands on her hips."
Kili face now in his hands, Fili grinning larger and larger by the second. " She had looked all three of us done, before calling Kili towards him, and it was dreadfully obviously his hair had cake crumps throughout it, he got scolded so bad."
"Is that it ," Bilbo was disappointed with the outcome, he had thought it would've been more suspenseful. "No master Baggins, Thorin later took us for training with Dwalin as well as many other viewers. Basically what happened was Dwalin threw him over his head and he landed on the floor, when he finally tried to stand up he let loose the loudest wet fart.  Then, he stood up and the back of his pants were covered, and out the ends of his trousers... he had to walk home like that."
Bursts of laughter had erupted through the circle, Kili just looked horrified with his brother, placing your hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to you, with a sad smile.
"Don't feel bad, someone I knew yawned up to the sky and a bird shat in her mouth, to make matters worse she was afraid to tell anyone so she spat it out, and stood there with bird shit taste." 
Looking at you wide eye,  "T-they did what?"
"A bird shat in their mouth."
"Such crude language, yet suddenly I feel much better." Kili smiling up to you, the other three still laughing about Kili's shitty pants.
A friendship between you and the dwarf ,you knocked out, began. Over the months you had gotten more comfortable with the company.
Soon enough you were all captured by trolls, but you were sleeping so, you woke up and everyone was packing to leave. You were very confused indeed, Thorin had announced that you all were leaving for a troll cave.
Gandalf had merged after Thorin with two swords , calling you and Bilbo over. Wow, free stuff. 
What Gandalf had not expected was your behaviour later on at Rivendell... Bathing and changing at Rivendell, eating some rabbit food, it was soon time for second dinner and after that bed.
Roaming the grounds of Rivendell the next month, you had bumped into Bilbo. That's when it started, you had already been messing with your sword. When Bilbo had approached you, seeing your cheeky grin he didn't know whether to run.
"M-morning ,miss y/n?" Speaking uncertain of himself, partly nervous,  you had been pretty unpredictable, you know falling out the sky?
"Morning ,Bilbo!  How are you feeling?"  Swinging your sword in like it was baton or baseball bat, almost dropping flat on your face.
"I'm fine , thank you. Uh..." The sword now between your legs, swinging it around. "Bilbo look, it's my cock." Bilbos face now red, your crude language tended to fluster the poor hobbit, sorry the rich hobbit.
"Miss y/n, I do not think that's quite appropriate.."   You head snapping towards the hobbit, your face dropped, instantly Bilbos mouth is gapped. "Oh- I didn't mean any offence." Taking a step forward, Bilbo had stepped back , another and another.
Bilbo had ended up sprinting , you chasing him, well until an elf had offered you pastry's. Continuing your walk around the grounds, munching on your pastry, distracted by your breakfast you didn't notice the dwarf in front of you until the last second. 
"Where's your trousers?!"  You had made eye contact with something other than his eyes, it was painfully obvious. Meeting his actual eyes, the smirk on his face, concluded that he had seen you check him out, flushed pink cheeks.
"Fili took my clothes."
"Why would he want to see you running around naked,-cover up gosh!" Your voice getting higher by the second.
"Well, my lady with what?" You had thrown your pastry at the dwarf, now quite put off; even though his size was quite large. Instead covering himself he began to eat the remaining amount of the pastry.
You had scoffed, walking around the dwarf, away from his naked body.
What did catch you off guard again was a  man popping out from a pillar , his longish hair blond, his eyes ocean blue, his beard trimmed, his shirt beige , with a brown leather belt around his waist. You didn't know how to describe it, you jumped when he spoke.
"Hello there," 
How could be here? In a land of dwarves, elves and wizards? It was Obi-wan Kenobi, surely he should've been in the high ground? I mean, chopping some legs...so Anakin is leg a less, because his legs Aragorn.
"General Kenobi!" Kili had to turned around, to see you running at a strange man, who was General Kenobi, turning back round he had stomped off back to the company... to gossip.
"What are you doing here, Obi-wan?" His arms held behind his back as you two walked through Rivendell together, the truth was that you had never met before.
"I'm here because of you, y/n...the Council has sent me to help you. The universe is in great danger, again."
Then, you found out your real purpose was in middle earth; to save the line of Durin, With Obi-wan Kenobi as your master you as the pad awan. However, of course you did not have the force, he was just going to teach you how not to be damsel in distress.
You didn't know how this would bring you so close to the Jedi knight..
Obi-wan, had hid until half a day from Rivendell, when you had gestured him to come out, Kili had let out the most over dramatic gasp possible. "I told you he was real!"
That definitely caught the attention of the whole company, stopping, turning , drawing there weapons, Fili pulling you out the way.
"Why are you following us?" Thorins voice boomed over the winds, you couldn't imagine how your eardrums would certainly burst if he had a microphone. Getting of the grips of the dwarves again, standing between Obi-wan and the axes of the company.
Little Bilbo just watched the slope of the mountain with amusement. "What are you doing, y/n?!"
"You stubborn dwarves, if I was walking with him with no fuse, you'd think that he was with me, he's here to help me." Kili had scoffed, nor did any of other dwarves look convinced, Obi-wans hands on his hips, puffing his chest, revealing his lightsaber.
"I've had enough, I don't care what you say Thorin, he is my protection, he's not taking any of the reward, now let's go, he is not the enemy." Maybe you told a small lie, it would not go down well if Thorin knew Obi-wan was there to protect him and his nephews.
"At the front, both of you, now." And you were walking again, you and Obi-wan at the front.
Though, all together you were from three different universes, you from one which starwars was just a set of films, and series. It felt weird. Knowing he died, old, and he didn't look himself.
"Wait, so, Qui-Gon basically died of STDs, because he so many that it slowed him down? I thought it was a rule not have attachments; but he could sleep around?" I mean, if that's the case... you are very handsome, I'm not the best looking, nor have I ever.."
Your face felt hot, that was more than light flirting, really you had only known him for 27 hours, your crush on him though, that developed from watching him on screen.
Now concentrating on where you were going, surprised when Obi-wan had let out a laugh.
"My lady, you must be mistaken, you are absolutely beautiful." Your face flushed pink, wrapping your arm around Obi-wan's arm, his eyes watched you as you did, not hilding hands or anything just his arm. There are times in life when words are not needed.
Soon enough it was time to stop, when the company approached a large path on the mountain, so big that the company could sit in a circle if they desired. Along the way many of the dwarves had collected sticks and branches for a fire.
Right against the mountain wall you had set up your bed roll, and dropped your cloak from the elves on it as a blanket, you were sure to remember to share with Obi-wan later.  Obi one had copied you, dropping his cloak neck to yours, as you both stood next to each other, the sky now dark, the smell of dinner lingered in the air.
The glow of the fire lit up Obi-wan's face, his beard now more orange, his blue eyes focused on you.
"Hey, um, Obi-wan...can I hold your lightsaber?"  His hands on his beige tunic, eyeing you down, one of a second, before handing you the weapon.
The lightsaber, heavy in your hands, yet still you were swinging it like you were playing tennis on the wii. "Um, Obi, can I please..?"  Turning to face the Jedi with pleading eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders casually nodding.
With that you had pressed the button, there stood the blue blade in front of your very eyes. Bilbo had noticed almost immediately spitting out his food, who in their right mind would give her a weapon?
Noticing Bilbos sudden uncomfortableness, grinning at him, as the saber made its way between your legs. "Hey Bilbo,Check out how big my dick is!" Bilbo had put his bowl of food down, and his behind Thorin, brooding.
"Uhm, lass? What is that?" Bofur wearily, spoke, eyeing the saber not blinking,like many other dwarves. Balin flinching as you waved it between your legs.
"It's a lightsaber, the weapon of Jedi's. Hey, Kili, sorta looks like your dick ,if it was a hundred times smaller. " Not that you were looking at Kili, his face flushed as he chocked out his stew, Thorins eyes burning into the back of the head, he would speak to him later.
"Oi, when did you get a look at Kees , lad?" Fili wan most  amused at the situation, Kili knocking him in the ribs.
"Well , what happened was I got a pastry at Rivendell, and Kili almost whacks into me. Yeah, and he was naked, so, not that I like to give away food, I throw the pastry at him and Obi-wan appears and saves me. End of story."
Now swinging the lightsaber like it was a golf club, you wondered if Obi-wan had to charge his lightsaber.  Kili now standing up , walking over to you as the dwarves forget about the story, simply because it wasn't rare that they went around naked. 
"Oi, Kili , throw that stick at me, so I can hit it." 
Kili had planned on telling you a piece of his mind, how his dick was not small, but there you were not a care in the world, waiting for him to pick up the stick.
His eyes searched the stone floor when his eyes catch, a thick stick not a twig. Without a thought he threw it, your eyes waiting, standing like you were going to play baseball or rounders. Swinging your arm slicing through the stick, causing it to slam to the floor in two separate pieces.
"I'm sorry, but what in middle earth is a Jedi and why do they have that, what even is that!"
Obi-wan just stood by you chest puffed, huge smirk on his face, as Kili ranted slightly , fear embedded in his eyes as he stood back as you swung the weapon around more, it was not surprising that the company were also in slight shock.
"This man is a Jedi." Pointing at Obi-wan before turning fully towards him, ignoring the others questions. "Okay, now teach me, master..." A grin across your face, as Obi-wan took the saber from your hands, turning it off, before standing behind you.
Turning your back into place, your feet in the correct stance, his back against yours as ushered you take your sword from his hands.  His hot breath briefly against your neck. Once you had done, his back peeled from yours, and he had done the same.
Throughout the next months, Obi-wan had continued to teach you how to defend yourself
, Kili always disagreeing on Obi-wand methods, suggesting he would be better to teacher you.
That was until you were all captured at Mirkwood. Of course, Obi-wan tried to use the force on the elves, however , due to being immortal they weren't easily controlled.  Somehow he did it still, only allowing you and him to escape, due to being human. What you didn't understand though, why was Obi-wan such a flirt.
The blond elf, the one that looked straight off like a princess, had stared at you and Obi-wan with his eyebrows raised. His light foot steps, couldn't be heard as he glided towards you both, standing close to Obi-wan, as the dwarves were search. Legolas excluding you two from it, using the side of your body to hide the lightsaber at Obi-wan's belt.
"Why are two humans travelling with dwarves?"   Was this elf wearing tights? David Bowie could get away with it because that ass and overall god looks, but the colour scheme on this blond elf was not it. Wondering if his dick could even breathe, maybe it shrank.
Looking at Obi-wan, who was smouldering at the elf, his lips slightly pushed out his blue eyes sharp, his long hair flowing. But..there was no wind. His hand doing a weird gesture like waving.
"We are not, we are trying to get lake town, as I have finally decided to meet my darlings parents. You will let us go." You were surprised when Obi-wan had wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close to him. Your eyes wide, you really didn't think you were going to get out of this, how many times had you all been captured? Too many times.
"Go, follow the path, goodbye." Obi-wan had quickly let go of your waist , talking your hand, pulling you away, false smiles on your faces as you left. Trying not raise suspicion, Kili had watched the whole thing, scoffing in disgust, watching you and Obi-wan walking away.
You wanted to help the dwarves you really did;but Obi-wan had assured you they didn't need your help. You both waiting in the safe forest outside of the woodland realm, waiting for the dwarves.
Not only had Obi-wan had taught you basic defensive skills, but you had became extremely close. Here you were, stuck in a forest, no bedrolls no nothing, due to Azog. Nights were cold, so cold, as Obi-wan's duty to protect you, you both decided for your survivals there was only one way.
The fire low, so that you would not be detected by Orcs, Obi-wan and you snuggling up together, his arms around your waist, knees tucked under yours. Body heat being the only thing from stopping you both freezing to death.
During this week, what disturbed you the most, was Obi-wan's french accent...Considering there was no earth in the star-wars universe. If that matter you weren't sure. He'd pop the accent out at random moments, going to bathe in a stream?
"Do you need a chaperone, mon amour?" No, he did not go in the water with you, he just stood guard, holding his arm out to walk you to the stream and even back. Though you did have to wait by the stream while he was bathing , with his lightsaber in your hand, just in case.
However,one day when you you were bathing Obi-wan had almost had a heart attack when you let a gasp, running out of the hair all across your face, running smack into him. Your bare body against his robes, soon as he made eye contact with you he knew it was nothing life threatening.
"When I said 'You don't have time to be timid, you must be bold and daring' this was not what I mean." Obi-wan's stuck to yours , reassuring your privacy, even though his back was against the mud , your whole body pressed against him. Again with the accent, Obi-wan's smile small, your hands against his chest, as laugh erupted from your mouth.
"What is, Ma Cherie?"
"Only reason I'm laying on you butt naked is because a fish brushed against my leg." Obi-wan's once sincere face replaced with a grin you snuffled your laughter against his neck. Your cold skin against his , as vibrations travelled through his body, a laugh from his lips travelling to your ears. A few minutes passed, with you just against Obi-wan as you laughed together.
"This would be very embarrassing ,if the company found us now."
"I'll close my eyes, and you can go get dressed,"
That was it with that, Obi wan would never disrespect your modesty, it is not like when Kili had shown off on purpose.
The next day, you had caught up with the company and an injured Kili. However, the french accent was not lost...
Kili's faced laced with sweat, as you and Obi-wan made your way to the compan, his eyes met yours. He felt relieved that you had came back, yet anger still bubbled down in inside.
"I thought ye had left us." Bofur popping up infront of you two, his eyebrow raise.
"No, figured from I heard about that king , it was not the best if he had got a hold of Y/n, it is my mission to protect y/n." Bofur , along with Gloin, Dori and few others nodded in agreement.
Your eyes drifting from Obi-wan's face, back to Kili, his thigh seeping with blood,you had grabbed Obi-wan by the hand pulling him over with you towards Kili. Obi-wan meeting your eyes once again, confused with your actions. "Obi.. help him."
Letting go of your hand, Obi-wan had brought his hand over the wound, Kili tried to protest, only to be shut down by Fili. Kili felt tugging on his skin, the pain slowly disappearing, a few seconds late Obi-wan had remove his hand, stood up, made his way back to you. "W-what? H-how did you?"
This is what you and Obi-wan were sent here to do, save the line of Durin. After that, not even seconds Bard had arrived, the company was on their way again, no delays, except being caught by the master, which kind of annoyed
Obi-wan, getting to be called that without being a Jedi , disgraceful.
After that, it was one more boat ride away, and climbing more mountains. Within three hours , you feet began to blister, the knocks harsh, you wondered how Bilbo could do it, he was a happy chappy. Obi-wan next to you, had immediately picked up on you change. His eyes caught onto yours like a magnet, within seconds you were on his shoulders, hanging. Just like Anakin had carried him unconscious, he could've carried you anyway way but he decided on potato sack really?
"B-Ben!" The little shriek had erupted from your mouth in surprise, in reality it sounded like he had just made you orgasm. Your face flushed, as Obi-wan grip tightened around your thigh. "Yes, Ma Cherie?" Again with Obi-wan doing the french accent, letting out a groan.
"Never mind." For the next three hours you are carried on Obi-wan's shoulders, you couldn't imagine how his back feels. There's no negotiating with the negotiator. Your stomach ached from just being on his back. You did get to sleep for a while, which was great.
“Obi, I can walk now." Your face next the side of his face, softly speaking to him. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." With that you were back on the ground, walking with the rest of the company, though you didn't speak to many of the other dwarves much, you found yourself away from Obi-wan and in the company of Fili, who had left the company of his brother. Your conversation had started out normal, Fili telling you about the Elves, and Bilbo saving them.
"Are you courting the man?" Eyes widening at the dwarves words, it was no doubt that you had liked him watching him on screen, but no way he had made advances, had he? He could not, it's not the Jedi way. Why did he flirt with you all the time.  As you two grew close, you felt you chest tightening, you could feel that way. Just months ago you had felt the same for Kili, but then Obi-wan had appeared.
"No, why do you ask?"  Your face felt hot, unbearably hot, embarrassed that you had been clearly flirting back to Obi-wan.
"It's just that my brother... don't know if you have noticed he has been not himself, and well I think it's because of you and Obi-wan."  Fili whispered to you, you could barely hear him, but when you did make out what he was saying, why would Kili not himself because you and Obi-wan, had you offended him some how?
"What do you mean? Why would it be our fault?" It was not appropriate but a chuckle still left his lips, Fili could not understand how you could be so blind.
"You and Obi-wan flirt publicly a lot..." Then it hit you, the reason Kili could barely look at you anymore, you had not really ever have someone like you let alone possibly two.  Blush upon your cheeks, "Oh.."
"Now, you must understand, y/n , if you don't feel for him, you must put him down, do you love Obi-wan?"  Turning you face back to look at Obi-wan, who had been watching his steps, as he talked to Bilbo, who seemed to be deep into conversation. When Obi-wan's blue eyes had finally caught yours, his lips had turned up in a smile, before you turned back to the blond haired dwarf.
Fili's moustache braids jigging, as you all walked, waiting for your response.
"Jedi's aren't allowed attachments; it would never work out."
“Do you love him?” Repeating the same question, how could you know if you loved him, why would it matter it would never work out, Fili clearly didn’t want his brother heartbroken because you couldn’t decide.
“I d-don’t know, Fee,”
“Do you love Kili?”
“Really, Fili, I don’t know.”
Fili, had suggested to speak to Kili later, what if you only loved Obi-wan platonically?
Once Thorin had stopped the company for the night, and when the sky was dark. Only the glow of the fire upon your faces, Fili had left his brother on a log, making eye contact with you, gesturing for you to swap with him. Sitting upon the rough log, thighs touching, Kili had turned slightly jumping when realising it was you, his brown eyes now looking to yours with the flame of the fire reflected into them. His face with no expression at all, he didn’t even say anything to you. A string of pain, flowed through your heart, you hadn’t realised how you hadn’t spoken to Kili in months, properly anyways.
You had wrapped your arms around Kili neck, your cold flesh against Kili’s neck, as you pulled him into a tight hug, slowly he had accepted it. Wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, his dark hair, tickling your neck.
“I’m sorry, Kili.” Pulling away, Kili brows scrunched together, his dark eyes searching your face, he thought he had done something wrong, and was going you space, also think mostly that you and Obi-wan were courting. However, Fili had informed him that you were not courting, he wished he could scold his older brother, for being nosy.
“W-why?” He had been jealous of your behaviour towards Obi-wan no doubt about that, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for his feelings, you could like anyone you wanted, you are beautiful, bodaciously so.
“Because I haven’t spoken to you for months, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s just...you promise not to repeat this to anyone, especially your uncle?” Kili knew it, you didn’t like him, but his uncle? Yuck, he couldn’t be mean to you though, you were nothing but nice to him. Instead he just nodded, with a small smile.
“Thank you..the real reason why Obi-wan and I were sent here, well is to keep the line of Durin alive, must have a big effect on all the universes otherwise, two people from separate universes would not have been sent. So, we’ve been keeping this secret, it’s been hard, that’s why I spend so much time with Obi-wan.”
Kili’s eyes never left yours, as you spoke, taking a deep breath before you continued on, you were scared for the safety of your friends, Thorin didn’t care what you were doing , because you and Obi-wan were quiet and kept to yourselves, he saw how effective in battle Obi-wan was and didn’t complain. He needed the man power, there was no doubt about that.
“If I am totally honest, I do love Ben, and if he was allowed to be with me, I wouldn’t be with him, it’s not the way of the Jedi. He is my best friend, that is a gentleman, I’m sorry, but his back must’ve killed carrying me like a sack of potatoes. Plus, when we were waiting for you... I was having a bath, he was on guard and fish brush against me, I went running, fell flat on him, that was definitely not a pretty sight for hi-“
“You what?” Kili was scared to know what you were getting and frankly disturbed that Obi-wan had seen you vulnerable. You had reached and gripped his, large dwarven hand, tightly, rough, yet so warm...
“ Doesn’t matter, he was very respectful. Anyways, what I was getting at Kili, is that.. I c-can’t live within you...I love you, not platonically either, I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. I wouldn’t if I was you.” Before you could blink , his soft lips upon your, your hands in you his hair pulling him close, his hands back around his waist.
You finally felt certain of something.
Bonus:
Kili was not the slightest happy when you accidentally cut a lock of his hair off with the saber.
“Hey, Ben, can I cut your hair too?”
“Fuck off, I’m the only Jedi left with good hair, you touch it you’ll become a baked potato.”
“Okay I’m sorry!”
“mon Cherie , I could never harm you, for I love you like a dog.”
“Oi, stop flirting.” Kili had interrupted, petting his burnt detached hair.
“He just called me a dog, that’s not flirting,”
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terri202 · 8 months ago
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▪︎ BERRIES ▪︎
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SUMMARY: you are Bilbo's reader and the dwarves visit your house for the first time . Kili flirts with you and you cannot hide your smiles .
PAIRING: Kili x Hobbit reader
WARNINGS: none , pure fluff , crack .
Masterlist
▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎
Its was late at night when Bilbo , your older brother arrived at home .
You had already prepared a tasty meal for you both and you've just started eating when you heard a knock on the door .
" I'm getting this" you told your brother moving to the main entrance to open the door , wondering who it may be at this hour .
" Dwalin " said a man a little taller than you , he wasn't a Hobbit ... no absolutely no , he seemed like a dwarf but what is he doing in your doorstep ?
" At your services !" He said trying to ease your confusion only to make it bigger.
" Hmm , Y/N Baggins " you introduced yourself wrapping the robe around your body tighter .
"Do we know each other ?" You asked as he entered your home making you more curious that you've already been .
" No " he said moving on the inside .
" Excuse me sir" you said but got no response.
" Is it down here ?" He asked moving to the kitchen
"What?"
" Supper " he answered " oh there it is !" He spoke sitting on the chair before your brother .
" Y/n who is this man?" Bilbo asked clearly irritated
" sir who are you and what are you doing in our house ?"
"There will be food he said !" The dwarf spoke with a full mouth been halfway in your meal .
"He said? Who is he?" Bilbo said sharing the same confused as you did .
The dwarf man ate all of the food served on the table in an instant " is there more?" He asked bored
" oh we are sorry but we didn't wait for more guests tonight" Bilbo talk to the man while serving him some of the cheese muffins you made this morning.
The doorbell rang gaining your attention again hoping you misheard it .
Guests were not that welcomed in your home , not because of you but because of your brother .
You enjoyed having friends over but he never approved of too much people too often, so you rarely had any company along with you .
Opening the door for the second time this night you came in contact with a white beard man
"Balin ! At your services my lady " he said as he bowed his head towards you .
" Good evening " you greeted him with light amusement
" Yes yes it is " he spoke looking at the full moon " I think I've come a bit late , am I late ?" He asks entering your house himself
" Late for what ?" Bilbo asks moving towards the shorter man
" Oh ! Evening brother !" He calls the dwarf named Dwalin leaving both you and Bilbo shooked
Both men hug and laugh as they spoke to each other and there is Bilbo that takes the courage first to speak .
" Excuse me , hate to interrupt but I'm 100% sure that you are in the wrong house , you're here , and it's not that I dont like visitors but I do like to know them before they come as visitors . The thing is that I dont know either of you not in the slightest , I dont mean to be blunt , but I had to speak my mind , I'm sorry . " Bilbo talks to both of them but they seem rather busy searching around your cellar while eating the cheeses , beers and hams your brother bought this week .
You can say your brother is already pissed of by they way he looks at them but still his manners don't let him be rude to them .
"Apology accepted " the older dwarf calls before the doorbell rings for the third time tonight.
" I'm getting it !" You call without the slightest form of amusement this time and when you open the door you find two dwarves this time .
Not bothering to look at them you just stand there
" Fili and Kili , at your services!" They bow their heads down and the only thought that comes to your mind is beautiful.
You look up to the guy on your right side , rather tall for a dwarf you think as you get yourself ready to respond
" You must be miss Baggins " Calls the taller male throwing a bright smile to you and you call only return the pleasure with a wide one of yours .
" Yes she is indeed but you can't come in , you came to the wrong house !" Your brother rudely says before closing the door to their faces , but Kili is quick to hold on it and open it wide again
" What ? Has it been cancelled?" He asks first
" No one told us !" The other one named Fili continues
" There is nothing to be cancelled!" Bilbo respond as a new spark forms in Kili's eyes
" That's a relief !" He says moving Bilbo to the side as he and the other enters the home while he winks at you .
You blush hard making him grin as he mades his way to the rest of them .
"These need to be sharpened " Fili says , handing your brother a bag full of weapons
" Its nice this place ! Pretty clean " Kili says , a compliment you assume.
" Don't do this please !" You say to Kili panicked ,watching him taking off his boots with the help of your mother's wooden box .
" Do what ?" He says taking off the other one too .
You facepalm yourself " Nevermind " you say moving to his spot in other to clean up the mess he made with the garden mid he left behind.
You sigh cleaning the rest of the floor with the wet cloth as you can feel his eyes on your back .
" What's the matter my lady? It's just a little mud , why bothering to clean it?" He asks , his smirk never leaving his face .
" I want my floor to shine , don't you clean up in your home?" You ask sighting again as you finish your work .
" I dont have a home " he answers bitterly and for the first time tonight you can see sorrow in his eyes .
" I didn't mean to offend you , I apologize for my careless words ."
You don't bother to ask for more as you make your way inside to make sure your brother is still fine .
▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎—————▪︎
It's been an hour since the dwarves arrived at your house and by now 13 of them are sitting in your dining room eating every single thing your pantry had .
Both you and your brother are pissed to death by how careless they are throwing food & wine around like they own the whole place .
The thought of cleaning this home again in order to make it look like one is already tiring itself so the only thing you can do for now is sigh and simply lean back on your armchair.
You've closed the glass door of your living room leaving the 13 dwarfs , Gandalf and your brother speak aloneas you sit in your usual spot next to the fireplace enjoying the company of the fire while eating some black berries you could reach from your living room window .
It was the only snack left available so you were pretty much grateful for it .
" May I interrupt?" A voice asks making you flinch as you grab your bowl tightly screaming a little.
"Oh my ! Who is it?" You ask laughing a bit at your reaction, as the young dwarf comes to your sight.
"Are you alright beautiful?" He asks calmly as another smile adores his face .
" Yes I am , you just startled me a bit " you explain yourself, getting to the floor next to him " Wanna have one?" You ask moving the still full of berries bowl to his reach
" oh my faves ! " he says grabbing a handful of them before eating them one by one
"Thank you " he says getting closer to you as you both look down the fire .
" What brings you here Mr. Kili?" You ask
" Gandalf wanted us to meet your brother for a secret business I cannot tell you " he says eating more berries.
" what has my brother to do with your business? " you ask confused
" we need a hobbit to help us " he says
" Dont you think that 2 Hobbits would be better then?" You ask giving him a playful smile .
" you have a really good point mrs. Baggins ! I'll have to talk this out with the rest of them !" He says getting up
" its Y/n " you say shyly.
" Nice to meet you mrs. Y/n then , hope I'll have more time with you tonight, my time is up." He says as he gives you a kiss on the top of your palm before moving out of the room and heading back to the room the rest of them were .
" Nice to meet you too Kili" you wisper mostly to yourself before filling your mouth with another handful of berries .
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Hope you enjoyed reading this small oneshot
- sorry for any grammar mistakes you may have found , English is not my 1st language -
Please like & follow for more !!
Stay happy & healthy ♡
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rogue-durin-16 · 11 months ago
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HER HAIR
Request: may I ask for a kili x dwarf F reader? They first meet at bilibos house and Its like kinda love at frist sight for both of them and as the quest gos on Kili asks to braid her hair as Dwarven tradition of courting ? Tha k you for your time!
Pairing: Kíli x Dwarf!Reader
Genre: fluff
Tags:
Requested by: @stars-shaped-clouds
Permanent taglist: @queenofmankind @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722
Warnings: none
A/N: the masterlist will be up after this one uwu. For those who sent me a request and it's not published yet, give me time plz I'm going through it lately. While the rest of the stories are on the making, enjoy this fluffy oneshot <3.
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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"Gandalf," Bilbo glared at the wizard the moment the knock on the wooden door was heard. "if this is another dwarf-"
"I will get the door myself." the wizard cut him off, almost rushing to reach the entrance. Thorin was already here so I wasn't sure of who was left to join us.
"Ah, Y/n." Y/n? That was a female name. I turned to meet my brother's eyes, which held the same confusion mines did.
Thorin stood up with a shocked face, somehow eager to welcome the newcomer, who was soon entering the already too crowded room.
"I was... not expecting you to join us." He murmured before turning to us. "This is Y/n, daughter of Y/f/n."
"At your service." after a bow, she took off her cape and handed it to Bilbo, who was soon besides her. "I am terribly sorry for the delay. These roads are a labyrinth."
She was the most radiant being I had ever seen. My jaw dropped, and I was left dumbfounded until my brother's elbow dug into my ribcage.
"Ouch!"
"You're staring." he subtly muttered. "Be polite."
"Sorry." I mumbled in response, looking down ashamed. Not for long though, but could anyone blame me?
When I looked up again, I found her y/e/c eyes fixed on me, and I did my best to hold back the silly smile that wanted to tug the corner of my lips when her eyes seemed to gleam.
"Is there somewhere I can sit?" she questioned, lingering his gaze on me for a moment.
As she turned to face Bilbo, I, as fast as lightning, stood up from my chair, almost making it fall back.
"You can have my seat." she gave me a kind smile at the same time as I heard Dwalin's snort and my own brother's muffled laugh, which stopped when I kicked his chair.
"Thank you very much," Y/n responded, "but I'm afraid it would be too difficult to reach your place."
"Sit here, I'll stand." Thorin offered, and Y/n accepted with a smile. A frown established in my face and I was tugged back to my chair my Fíli.
"I beg you, behave." he warned me.
"I'm behaving."
"Glaring at your uncle is not behaving." I rolled my eyes at him because I was clearly not glaring at Thorin, it just puzzled me that she had accepted his offer and not mine, I mean, it was obviously due to the difficulties to reach me but still, did he have to be so—
"Bilbo!" Bofur was the first one to run towards the hobbit, now unconscious, and we all followed him.
I was the latest to arrive, and Dwalin and Bofur were already carrying him to his armchair.
"Will he be all right?" a voice besides me asked, making me aware of Y/n's near presence.
"I hope so." I replied, turning around to meet her beautiful gaze. "I'm Kíli."
"You are then Thorin’s youngest nephew." I replied with a nod. "The troublemaker one."
"Oh... Did he speak to you about me?" I inquired, crossing my arms over my chest. "What did he say?"
"Only the bad things I suppose." she replied with a grin. "Maybe you can tell me the good things?"
I, sticking my chest out with a cocky smile, replied, "Well that would take us longer than you expect."
"Seeing the state of our burglar," she pointed at Bilbo, who was now recovering the conscience. "I think we may have time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At some point in the night, we had fallen asleep. Thorin woke us up a little bit after dawn; I, reclined on the wooden bench under the window, her with her head and arms over my thighs.
What a pity that he had to wake her up too; she looked so peaceful over me with the first rays of sunshine falling upon her crown, making her hair gleam.
Her hair.
I felt a sudden urge to run my fingers through it, though that would be intrusive and inappropriate.
To my dismay, said urge stayed with me during the rest of our journey, but again, could anyone blame me?
The more I got to know her, the deeper I fell for her. She wasn't only beautiful, she was strong, wise, she had seen the world —even more than I had— for which she was extremely interesting to me.
I wasn't blind, so I had noticed she was fond of me, too.
Maybe I had needed Thorin’s help, to do so, but that was not the point, the point was that her smile grew bigger when I spoke, and when she laughed, her eyes traveled to mines.
The point was that she would have an excuse to sleep near me, and her hand would more often than not search for mine.
Not that I complained though, on the contrary, I pretty much cherished those moments.
It was thanks to those moments that I gathered the courage to ask her something I had never thought I would ask, at least not in that journey.
"The lass got you smitten, huh?" Dwalin commented with a chuckle. "What are you waiting for?"
"The right moment." I replied with my eyes on her while she helped Ori pick some herbs Bombur had asked for.
The moment had come earlier than I expected.
It was my turn to guard the camp at night, and Y/n was so kind to keep my company, despite assuring her that it was no necessary.
"—and there we had it, in front of our very eyes," she continued her narration, "the sea, the same sea that the elves are said to cross to never return." my mouth had stayed opened in awe the whole time. "the moon reflected its light on it and, Mahal Kíli, you must see it."
"Will you take me there?" I questioned in a whispered, already dreaming of seeing what she was describing by her side.
"Some day," she replied, her pinky brushing against mine, just like our thighs. "After we take Erebor back, I will take you there." she smiled and, without hesitation, she carefully tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear, making both our cheeks redden a little.
As her hand fell back on her thigh and her eyes averted from mine to stare into the horizon, I swallowed the anxiety flooding my body and made the question.
"Y/n?" she hummed, prompting me to keep talking. "Would you let me braid your hair?"
Her eyes widened and the blush on her cheeks intensified. "I— Uh... Y-yes." a beam lightened up her face and the night. "Would you let me braid yours?"
I nodded faster than I would like to admit and immediately moved to sit behind her, running my fingers through her hair before picking up a section and separating it to start braiding.
Though I was more than eager, I tried to do it slow, so I could extend the moment as long as possible.
DWALIN'S P. O. V.
I held back a triumphant laugh when my eyes repaired in the youngest of all, sat at the edge of a rock.
I kicked Thorin, who rested besides me, and then Fíli, lying a little further from us. They both grunted in response, and, when they opened their eyes and saw what I was seeing, they grunted again.
"I can't believe I lost a bet related to my brother against you." the young dwarf murmured, silently, grabbing his bag to give me the promised coins.
"One day." Thorin grumbled, doing the same as his nephew. "One that and I would have won."
"At least I'll be able to tease them tomorrow morning." Fíli mumbled to himself. "I will get up early," he continued before I could reply. "you will not win me on that too."
"Whatever you say." I assured, taking one last check on them.
They had now switched places, and Y/n was carefully braiding the prince hair. Despite the distance, I could appreciate the happiness in both their faces, and it made me smile.
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crushedbyhyperbole · a year ago
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20 Questions Tag Game!
Thank you @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall for tagging me! I shall gladly play your game 💖
Name: Cath
Nickname: haha ohhh well... online it's mostly Cloudy. At work I'm Trunchy, after Miss Trunchbull. One woman doesn't like me all that much because she can't manipulate me so apparently that's what she calls me. I accept this and call myself Trunchy😂
Zodiac sign: Virgo. I'd say I'm a fairly typical Virgo. Anally retentive, analytical, loyal and self-sacrificing, and fairly smart and pragmatic.
Height: 5ft 7.
Languages spoken: English, Geordie. But I do know a good selection of obscenities in a variety of different languages from all around the world. I'd love to speak Tolkien's elvish but I only know a bit of that as written word only.
Nationality: British.
Favourite season: Autumn. It's the last hurrah before everything becomes bleak. I love the colours and that everything is cooling down after the summer. It feels like cosy days wrapped in a quilt with a nice cup of tea Ann's a good book while russet leaves fall from the trees.
Favourite flower: orchids are beautiful but I love sunflowers. When they grow huge they give me a bit of a shiver (don't know why) but I love the warmth of them and that the petals often look like they were stuck on a bit slap-dash.
Favourite scent: sandalwood and I also like orange flower.
Favourite colour: teal or plum.
Favourite animal: tough call because dragons aren't real lol if I could keep some I'd love to keep Dragon sea slugs. They dine on Portuguese man-o-war jellyfish and use the toxins from the stings to seeing their own prey. They're awesome and pretty.
Favourite fictional character: at the moment it's Bucky Barnes but overall I guess I'd have to say Gandalf. I love Tolkien and the grey pilgrim is naught but awesomeness.
Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea. Though I do love coffee too avid hot chocolate. I drink way more tea.
Average hours sleep: I don't function well on less than 7 though I get anything from 3 to 12 depending on what's going on in my life.
Dogs or cats: I love all animals. I have a cat and would love a dog but I work shifts and a poor dog would go stir crazy locked in for up to 12 hours alone. It wouldn't be fair or right.
Number of blankets: it's cold right now. I have a winter quilt and a fluffy blanket. It's usually just a quilt but in the hottest part of summer its just a throw.
Dream trip: unrealistically I'd love to go to space or the moon. Realistically, I love the ornate nature of eastern culture so I'd love to go to China, Thailand and Japan.
Blog established; end of summer 2019 but I didn't start posting on it until maybe October 2019
114. I'm an itsy bitsy blog but I love all my followers, they're/ you're all fabulous 😍
Random fact: you know I love to write but I also like to paint. I'm not very talented but I paint occasionally when the urge takes me. I also am a crazy craft fiend. I have so many tools and whatnot for making things it's crazy. I even make my own costumes for parties and Halloween. One day I might be brave enough to cosplay. They last thing I made was a pair of Destiny sunbreaker warlock gauntlets.
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Thank you for reading my 20 question babble. I'd like to hear from you guys, what your 20 answers will be. Anyone can play this - consider yourself tagged and get amongst. In the meantime I'll tag @jbbarnesnnoble @sergeantrosabellaswan @hoseokchild @sapphirescrolls @imanuglywombat
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