#FunnyStories

[aslukewouldhaveit]

Withdrawal

I take a deep breath, shielding my eyes from the piercing light of my computer screen. I am sweating profusely. My hands are visibly shaking. Everything seems to hurt now.

It has been 12 hours since AO3 went down due to a DDOS attack. I thought that, just maybe, I could wait it out. I didn’t need my fix today. I could go outside. Talk to friends. Maybe even work on that fic of my own.

My head throbs painfully, almost in time with my racing heart as I refresh the page.

We’ll be back soon!

Again.

We’ll be back soon!

Again.

We’ll be back soon!

Please! Won’t any god out there hear my pleas?

We’ll be back soon!

There are tears streaming down my face as I grab my hair. I know of something that can stop the pain. The desperation. The need to read.

...

I slowly move my cursor to the search bar, deleting the url inside.

You promised you’d never go back, I think.

But I am cold. I am burning. I am desperate. Desperate enough to return...there.

I begin to type.

𝚠    𝚊    𝚝    𝚝    𝚙    𝚊    𝚍    .    𝚌    𝚘    𝚖

#based on a true story #ao3 #ao3 update #ao3 ddos #ao3 down #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic funny #fanfiction funny #ao3 funny #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own #archive of our own down #funnystories

[mazelicious]

Emily: Faked my death yesterday, might fake my death today, will probably fake my death tomorrow.

Hotch: *ring ring*

Therapist: No.

Hotch: But you don't even know who-

Therapist: I am not seeing her again.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #incorrect criminal minds quotes #behavioral analysis unit #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotations #therapist #therapy #funnystories #meme humor

[veeisgayasf]

Enid: Why does y/n call you mommy?

Y/n: *wide eyed and in shock*

Weems: *chokes on air* Um.. what?

Enid: I came by your office this morning and heard y/n yell mommy…

Y/n: I- um…

Weems: ...

Enid: …

Weems: Miss Sinclair, I-

Y/n: I was on the phone with my mom and we got into an argument and I yelled at her.

Weems: *eyes you*

Enid: Oh! Okay! Did you make up?

Y/n: Absolutely *winks at Miss Weems*

Weems: *pure and utter embarrassment*

#idk what this is #just thoughts #funnystories #real life #larissa weems #enid sinclair #x reader #mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy? #wednesday #i said what i said

[dabiconcordia]

A Kick Under The Table

After a man has been married awhile, And his wife has grown used to his manner And style, When she knows form the twinkle that lights Up his eye The thoughts he is thinking, the wherefore and Why, And just what he'll say, and just what he'll do, And is sure that he'll make a bad break ere he's Through, She has one little trick that she'll work when She's able- She takes a sly kick at him under the table. He may fancy the story he's telling is true, Or he's doing the thing which is proper to do; He may fancy he's holding his own with the Rest, The life of the party and right at his best, When quickly he learns to his utter dismay, That he mustn't say what he's just started to say. He is stopped at the place where he hoped to Begin, By his wife, who has taken at kick at his shin. If he picks the wrong fork for the salad, he Knows, That fact by the feel of his wife's slippered toes. If he's started a bit of untellable news, On the calf of his leg there is planted a bruise. Oh, I wonder sometimes what would happen to Me If the wife were not seated just where she Could be On guard every minute to watch every trick, And keep me in line all the time with her kick. by Edgar Albert Guest

#poem #edgar albert guest #photo vogue magazin #funnystories

[the-frenchiest-fry102]

*playing a campaign with some friends at school and we come across a room inside the dungeon we're exploring that has a vampire in it*

Me and some of the other players: iS HE HOT???

*cue the dm letting out a resigned sigh*

dm: roll perception.

The tiefling to my right: "I rolled a nat 1.."

dm: "You are nearly blinded by how average-looking he is."

#dungeons and dungeons #d and d #funnystories

[sexbestworld]

Stop!

#beauty #funnystories #hot

[veryblazedreamland]

To all the Bakugou Fans out there. This fanfic caught me off guard😭 but I'm invested!

Darling it's better (down where it's wetter) by makoodles

I could not take it seriously when I saw the summary, but that is what made me read the entire story haha

#bakugou bnha #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #katsukibakugou #obsessed with the fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #read on ao3 #merman #mermankatsuki #humanreader #mates #funnystories #fypppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

[greatgavintron]

A few days ago, I was singing "Welcome to the internet" by Bo Burnham while in the bath, and a I got to the part where does the maniacal laugh, I spent a few minutes practicing it because honestly it needed some work. Meanwhile, my sister was downstairs, hearing me practice my "perfect maniacal laugh" as my mom got home from work. My sister said "Gavin's been doing this maniacal laugh" my mom replied "really?" My sister was like "yeah it's really weird." While they were talking: I finished the song and started to sing disney villain songs while washing my hair. They could hear me since I was singing like I was on stage, putting on a show for the shampoo bottles. As I was singingy sister turned to my mom and said: "He's becoming a disney villain" and while I'm flattered to be compared to the ultimate definition of "Be Gay Do Crime" I am not on that level yet, but soon enough I will, and all my plans shall be put into action.

#funnystories #disney #disney villains #disney villain songs #welcome to the internet #bo burnham #be gay do crimes

[zombiemnero]

Lady Nemesis!! 🥰😈

#videogames #video game #nerogamez #capcom #resident evil #resident evil 3 #nemesis #jill valentine #umbrella corporation #lady dimitrescu #funny memes #funnystories #funny quotes #funny image

[wendyverboom]

Red card for you !

#artists on tumblr #brickcentral #lego #afol #toyphotography #legophotography #legoart #legominifigures #photoart #star wars #stormtroopers #photographer #photographers on tumblr #football #ballgame #disney #funnystories #toy photo #toy photography

[rosepais]

Who taketh thy Purse?

It was the year 2009, Niki was all set to be engaged to this person who is irrelevant in this story. The invitations were out, and the family were expecting relatives to stay back at their place. Considering the budget constraints, the relatives decided to stay one night and leave soon after the ceremony. This would mean less cost and not imposing a lot of trouble on the bride’s family.

Niki is a sweet girl; She worked hard and saved up 10 years just for her big day. it was her favourite month. October, her engagement celebration would be clubbed along with her birthday and Diwali all on the same day, she was thrilled and over the moon.

On the day of the ceremony, Niki woke up very early for a change since there was make up to be done. She found her green jute purse lying on her table and she decided to keep it aside safely because the house was full and there was a lot of money and cards in it. Almost everything she owned was green. Her favourite colour, so much that her toothbrush, the paint on her wardrobe, the paint of her room, purse, handbags, and her engagement dress. All green.  

The ceremony went well. All the relatives were so caring, and gaga over her appearance. Some never left her room, they were constantly hovering over her looks, what we wore, and questions about the future while she dressed. She wished for some privacy but being kind was her thing.

All were so tired post the function that her father forced the relatives to stay the night and leave the next morning. Everyone tiredly obliged. Next morning, it was the usual chaos at home. Everyone packing, the kitchen is hustling with steam and something hot cooking, the bathrooms are full. It was a 2-bedroom house, with 1 toilet and over 30 people housed all at once! It was chaotic but fun, there was laughter and talks about the ceremony. Niki felt very happy, to see the support of her aunts and uncles. Her cousins served her with fresh family gossip and her mother was in the kitchen cooking her favourite breakfast. Niki was delighted to see a house full of happy people, since she grew up with only 2 people in her house. Her father, mother, and her. Silently she wished for the party to never end.

Niki was in her room looking for her purse since she had to pay off the decorators. At first her movement were calm, she moved every bag around, opened every drawer. The momentum increased with a little stress in her tone of speech. Moments later, she could not think straight and finally panicked and screamed.

The happy relatives took offense when she asked if anyone saw her purse. They suddenly decided to end the giggle party and start packing and leave. Within an hour, the house that was roaring with laughter and noise, became silent with only Niki and her mother crying in one corner of her room.  They searched and searched but in vain. After about a week, Niki confirmed that one of the relatives had done it, but she could not figure out whom.

The relatives were so offended with Niki questioning them, they never spoke to her again. They decided to stay in a hotel the next time they visited which was for the wedding. Some ignored her totally and did not even wish her on her big day. This was the same set of people who were in her room who could not get enough of her just few months ago.

Niki had to buy a new purse, apply for new cards, she had some memories stacked up in the purse which would miss forever. She cried thinking she would never see her cute little blue pebble which picked up from a beach when she first went to Goa. That pebble was part of her life and purse for years for no apparent reason. It was just cute and blue. She missed it, although while it was in her purse, she hardly noticed it in there. She sat and wondered what else was in the purse and what else did she lose apart from the money, cards, blue pebble, and some passport size photographs.

3 years passed. With time, Niki forgot all about the purse, with time the relatives were back to normal and with time, Niki learned to be more careful with things. Her parents found a new place to live and wanted to move. Niki was there to help them pack. She was in her room, packing all her beloved stuff which she could not take to her in-law’s house. She opened her green wardrobe, which now holds some plastic covers and junk which fall under the “we may use this” category.

She opened her drawer to see if she left out any jewellery in there. It was empty. While she put her hand deep inside the drawer to check the corners, she felt a small opening. She quickly took back her hand, like she had touched something dangerous. She was afraid to explore it again with her bare hands. She brought a torch and her mom to look. It was a small safe inside a safe and she saw something from a distance, and it suddenly struck her where she hid her purse before the ceremony to keep it safe from theft.

Embarrassment gushed down her face, and her mother gave her a look of disgust, because one among the relative Niki blamed was her mother’s cousin too! Niki was very happy to have her green purse back and everything in it. She remained silent and did not inform anyone that the lost was found.

The next big function was around in the family and the relatives were around. Uncle asked “Niki, any idea who took your purse?”

Niki and her mom exchanged glances and she shrugged her shoulders and said “No”.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

#humor #blogs #storytime #funnystories

[sillyistic]

NOT ART RELATED BUT RLLY FUNNY

so basically I accidentally left my Scott Pilgrim graphic novel outside,, my fault obviously 😭 And I knew it was going to get damaged but guess what!!!! This baby didn't get any water damage BUTT I guess some kids got to it before me and ripped off all the boobs

Missing my 30 dollars 💔

#scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgrim #ramona flowers #graphic novel #just wow #funnystories #ima kms #im kidding #rahhhhhh

[makoto-kaiser-blog]

A NOTHER FUN DAY IN TEXAS :3

TODAY HAS BEEN A FUN AND EVENTFUL DAY, FIRST OFF I WOKE UP EARLY AND GOT READY TO GO TO THE DOCTOR SINCE I'VE BEEN HAVING EAR ACHES FOR A WHILE. SO I DREW THESE WHILE WAITING FORY TURN:3

WHEN I SAW THE DOCTOR, THEY SAID ITS CAUSE OF MY ALLERGIES SO THEY GAVE ME SOME SHOTS AND MEDICINE. (THEY STOLE LOTS OF MY BLOOD AND GAVE IT TO THE VAMPIRES =n=)

AFTERWARDS I WENT TO BUY LUNCH WITH MY MOM, WE GOT DOMINO'S AND I GOT BREADS KNOTS OuO THE LATER (RN) I WAS TAKING A NAP CAUSE OF HOW HOT IT IS TODAY AND I HEAR SOME HISSING AND MY CHIHUAHUAS BARKING. SO I GO SEE WUTS GOING ON AND FIND I GIANT SNAKE 3 TIMES THEIR SIZES HIDDEN ON A MOVIE SHELF.

LONG STORY SHORT WE COULDN'T CATCH IT, AND NOW IT LIVES IN MY WALLS AND I NAMED IT RAT:>🐍 💚💚💚

JUST A NOTHER FUN DAY IN TEXAS:>

#adhd post #SUNDROP #moondrop #sundropfnaf #moondropfnaf #fnafsundrop #fnafmoondrop #fnafsecuritybreach #beanbags #chibistyle #quicksketch #funnystories #funnysnakes #texas #my art

[dabiconcordia]

#mike nichols #elaine may #smooth operator #funnystories #Youtube

[liriuncoffee]

Coelhotus on Tapas and Webtoons.

#webcomic #tapas #webtoon #comic #digital comics #original character #original art #funnystories

[haaiiss]

NEW AU!! Sans but him and papyrus own a pizza restaurant and travel aus giving out pizza

#art #artwork #frisk au #horror #papyrus #sans au #undertale #undertale alternate timeline #undertale au #underverse #funnystories #furry character #pizzatime #pizza hut #pizza delivery