#FUCK IM SO SAD. DEAN ASKED CAS IF HE STOPS HUNTING IM GOING TO THROW THINGS

[gayconfessioncas]

cas 🤜 j*hn

#it's that time. yes #sophia reads a turn of the earth #look away if you dont want spoilers or if you find me annoying i won't be upset 💜 #okay so I'm up to chapter 3 its 10:40pm and i need to be up for work at 6am lets do this boys (gn) #?? j*hn??? does that mean this is the chapter where cas hits him or what #'i keep forgetting. we're not quite friends yet. my absence doesn't affect you the way yours affects me. #oh. oh my god. paiiinnnnnnnn #oooh cas noticing the bruise on deans face and going 'what did this to you' my beloved #RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #J*HN HIT HIM???? J*HN!! I AM. CAS PLEASE HIT HIM. PLEASEEEEEEE #OH MY FUCKJNG GOD #YESAAADHSJWBDHWJDBDJDB YES YES YES CAS HIT HIM HE HIT HIM DREAM ACHIEVED #chirst. some of these lines remind me so much of the show. #back to talking abkhr j*hn. dean says his dad if gonna hurt him for what cas did. cas goes 'I'll kill him' #please. please #FUCK IM SO SAD. DEAN ASKED CAS IF HE STOPS HUNTING IM GOING TO THROW THINGS #THIS IS JUST LIKE AFTER PURGATORY #every time cas leaves it's heartbreaking. please tell me they find a wag to fix this #fuck. so that was chapter 3. #this. yeah this fic. uhm pain?? and i know its only going to get more painful??? #i did this why. please tell me happy ending #its almlat 11:30pm. i need to. fuck i need to sleep. then wake up early for work #everyday i make decisions #okay!! good night!!

[bonelessbloodfreak]

WILLOW

a destiel fic, 2192 words, T, love confessions, based on Taylor Swift obviously 😌

Summary: Dean and Cas find comfort in each other, finally having the space and time to build their happiness around each other. They’re in love. It’s what they deserve. They just have to figure out how to say it.

Link: ao3

“You’re everywhere Cas.” Dean says, and Cas doesn’t have the energy to try to understand what he means. It sounds an awful lot like a complaint, but Dean wasn’t complaining about Cas. Not really.

“So you want me to leave then?” Cas says, more of a statement then a question, looking up at Dean with a piercing gaze. Although the bite of the question is there, Cas finds that he’s able to keep his expression blank, unwilling to let Dean see the extent of his emotions. He’s not offended though.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Dean grumbles, he crosses the room with a hand running through his hair. Cas tilts his head up like he’s challenging that statement and Dean sighs. “I want you here, Cas. Of course I do.”

“So why don’t you act like it?”

“I’m- Fuck Cas, I’m not good at... at-“

“Wanting something for yourself.” Cas finishes for him. Dean looks scared, but he doesn’t deny it.

“I want you here. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like you didn’t.”

“I understand, Dean. You’re selfless to a fault. You gave everything you had to Sam, you’ve sacrificed your life for strangers even when they don’t deserve your kindness. You deserve some good for yourself. It’s not repayment, it’s not because of anything. It’s just because you’re human, you get to be selfish too sometimes.”

“Cas Im plenty selfish.”

“Not with things like this,”

“What is this?”

“You tell me,” Cas lifts an eyebrow. He’s hesitant too though. He’s nervous. Dean licks his lips and nods to himself before looking right at Cas.

“I want you here Cas. But I want you to want to be here.”

Cas gazes at Dean softly, his smile gentle. Looking at Dean, he has every freckle committed to memory. He has Dean Winchester memorized. He could get lost in looking at Dean. He has many times before.

He looks desperate, his eyes hopeful and scared and a little bit angry. His face is the most open Cas has seen from him in a while, he’s letting himself feel, but even more, he’s letting Cas see. He’s still as beautiful as ever. Still Dean Winchester. Maybe this is his breaking point, and maybe he’s already hit his breaking point. Maybe this is the beginning of rebuilding. That makes Cas heart flutter up in hope.

“I want to be here Dean.” Cas says. Dean nods finally and offers a sincere, but tight smile.

“Good. You’re staying.” So Cas drops his duffel bag back on his bed and nods. He’s still not sure this is the best decision, but he looks at a Dean again and thinks that if Dean never stops looking at him like that, he’ll never try to walk away again. He wants this. Of course he does, but he knows Dean and he knows he’s not going to get it.

Maybe it was selfish of him to want someone who so clearly isn’t ready for this, but Cas is tired of being selfless. Like he told Dean, they could both use some selfishness on the grand scale. Cas thinks Dean is pretty grand. And maybe he’s wrong. Maybe Dean is ready.

He thought leaving, even if only for a few weeks, would save him some hurt. Maybe it would give him the space to get over Dean in his newly human form. It had all hit him at once and it left Cas feeling bare and shaken. Now graceless, he couldn’t control his desires, he couldn’t regulate his body the way he used to be able to. He couldn’t stop his cheeks from flushing when Dean smiled at him. He couldn’t stop his heart from jumping when Dean hugged him. He couldn’t stop goosebumps rising on his arms when Dean let his hand rest on his back.

Then they had fought. It was stupid and petty, but Cas took it as an excuse to get some space. Get ahold of his emotions because he knows getting over Dean is out of the question.

Dean doesn’t let him leave. Cas is glad.

Dean nods, Cas Can see the hesitation and the fear and the hope and guilt and... everything. He can feel the way Dean has been ripped apart countless times, every day since he was four years old. Cas feels like he’s been torn apart as well. They can smooth over their scars together, heaven and hell know they themselves have been the reason for some of them.

The next few days are still tense, but not with anger. Dean seems to have realized that an emotional boundary was crossed and Cas has realized it too. Dean isn’t ignoring him anymore, for which he’s glad, and he values spending time with Dean, even if every glance sets his heart on fire.

Dean teaches Cas to cook and soon enough they’re moving around the kitchen together like they were made for each other. They still haven’t acknowledged it, but Dean puts his hand on Cas’ hip when he goes around him, and Cas lets Dean feed the sauce to him when he taste tests it, rather than simply taking the spoon himself.

Then they’re going on errands together, Dean says he needs to show Cas how they do things, show him which brand of shampoo they like and where to find the good beer. But then Dean continues to accompany Cas, just because it takes half the time with two people and when Cas finds some odd organic snack to try, Dean gets to bicker with him about it.

Dean let’s Cas drive sometimes, and he says not to tell Sam. He also says not to tell Sam that they rotate who chooses the music, and that sometimes on Deans turn, he chooses Taylor Swift.

Cas can only imagine how they must look to the world around them. Like they’re falling apart, crashing and burning, going out in loud explosions of light and dust and fire. Like they’re falling into each other rather than apart. They’re crashing down, but they’re building a new foundation on the debris. They’re communicating for once, and they must look like they’re late to the game, maybe this should have happened years ago, but for once they’re self sacrificial relationship has become healthier.

They’re moving, but they’re moving together, roots strongly woven into the ground, going far deeper than anyone might expect. Or maybe everyone expected it.

Cas has nightmares now that he’s human. He knows Dean does too, but neither of them seek comfort with each other. Another line to cross. Sometimes they talk about it. Dark kitchens and cold coffee and whispered tears with shaking hands. It’s over quick and when they end up in their separate beds, it’s feels even more lonely somehow.

One night Cas has his head on his pillow, eyes closed, he’s on his side facing away from the door, but he hasn’t slept yet. He hears the door open and he can feel the shift of air. He doesn’t need to look to know it’s Dean. He’s about to sit up when the floorboards creak and the door clicks shut again. Then there’s a dip in the bed and Cas rolls over lazily. Dean stands up again and wipes his palms on his pajama pants.

“Sorry.” He whispers. Cas squints up at him in the dark and lifts the blankets for him.

There’s only a moment where Cas can almost hear all of Deans thoughts, if only he were still an angel, before Dean crawls under the covers next to Cas. He keeps space between them, but Cas is too tired for his shit, he throws an arm around Dean’s waist and rubs his hand over Dean’s shoulder.

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah,” he says. Cas knows he doesn’t want to talk about it, so he just nods and pulls Dean closer.

They both fall asleep easier that night.

In the morning, Cas wakes up to a hand in his hair and an arm around his shoulders. Dean is awake and Cas guesses he has been for a little while now.

“Morning.” Cas grumbles and Dean chuckles.

“G’morning,” he whispers.

They go on a hunt that day. A ghoul a few hours away. Sam and Eileen ride in the backseat together so Cas takes shotgun and Dean lets him pick the music. He puts on Dean’s top 13 Zepp traxx.

When they get back it’s past dinner and they all shower and clean up which means it’s late by the time they’re all settled, but Dean cooks a meal anyway, calling Jack from his room and they all eat at ten pm together.

The hunt was tiring, so Sam and Eileen go right to sleep, Jack takes over the Dean-cave and Dean lets him. He isn’t ready to go to bed, so he gets his jacket and goes outside.

He sits in baby for a little while, no planning on going anywhere. Cas joins him, tapping on the window to let Dean know he’s there before he climbs into the passenger seat.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks.

“Sitting.”

“For any reason in particular?”

“Not really.”

So they sit together in silence. It’s not sad, actually they feel happy for the first time in a while. Cas let’s himself think about it, this feeling. Dean makes him happy. Dean has always made him happy. The silence doesn’t last long though, and this time it’s Dean who interrupts it.

“Thank you. For staying. For saving me. And Sam. For... just for everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Dean. I’m happy to do all of that.”

“I know. But I don’t want you to, okay? No more ‘happy to bleed for the winchesters’ shit, got it? You don’t deserve that. I’m not gonna ask that of you, not if I don’t need to. You gotta take care of yourself, man. I appreciate it, but I’d rather have you alive, so no more sacrifices.”

“No promises. And you too.”

“Fone.” Dean nods. “No deals, no dying, just... living. Finally, now that we get the chance.”

“I think we deserve this.” Cas nods.

“I hope so. You deserve more than this,”

“I don’t want more than this though.” Cas says. Dean smiles and nods like he knew Cas would say that.

“I’m glad you stayed.”

“I would’ve come back.”

“Still.”

“I’m glad I stayed too.”

They look forward again and there’s not much to see, but the quiet is comforting. Neither of them want to go back inside, it would mean they go to separate beds and separate rooms and Cas thinks he’d rather not sleep at all.

“It’s late.” Cas whispers.

“It is.”

“Do you think you’ll have nightmares again?”

“Probably.” Dean shrugs. They aren’t looking at each other, Dean is picking at his fingernails and Cas is staring down at the dashboard.

“Me too.”

“We could always... I mean... it’s nice to have someone else there sometimes.”

“It is.” Cas agrees.

“I like my memory foam though.”

“I have no attachment to my bed.” Cas shrugs.

“Good.”

“Good.”

Cas looks at Dean who still doesn’t look back, but he’s smiling and blushing and Cas is secretly aching to reach across the seat and hold Dean’s hand. Begging Dean to take his hand. Cas would throw all his plans out the window for Dean. Technically he has before. He’s thrown out a whole army for Dean. He would do it again too. He’d follow Dean to the ends of the Earth.

Cas gets the sense that Dean would do the same for Cas.

Dean looks back at him and neither of them look away. He reaches out and takes his hand. Thumb smoothing over his knuckles.

They head back inside and they don’t talk about it, but Dean loads up the dishes into the dishwasher and Cas wipes down the counters and then Dean turns and leans back against the counter, Cas does the same across from him.

They’re not quite chest to chest, but they’re close enough to touch and Dean looks scared. Cas feels serene, but his heart is wild. Dean swallows.

“Cas, I-“

Cas reaches a hand to Dean’s arm, calming him. Dean smiles shakily.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers. Cas shakes his head and takes Deans hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing his knuckles gently.

“Don’t be. You’ve always done what you thought was best. As have I. We deserve this.” Dean nods, tears springing to his eyes. He steps closer and hugs Cas, holding him like he’s never been held before. Cas could die happily in Deans arms.

When he pulls away, it’s with hands on the other’s face and lips quickly finding each other, gentle and slow and full of emotion.

“I love you, Dean Winchester”

“I love you too,” Dean says, voice cracking.

They’re both grinning through tears and kissing again. They’re both walking towards Dean’s room.

It’s easy, but Cas isn’t surprised at how easy it is to be with Dean. They’ve fought through life and death and more death to get here. They deserve a little bit of easy.

#dean winchester #destiel #castiel #supernatural #fanfiction #deancas #fanfic #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #Taylor Swift #Taylor Swift destiel

[a-jynx]

Lost Among The Flowers

Summary: He didn’t mean for it to happen... He didn’t want to lose her especially not by his own stupidity. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female!reader (dead) 

Warnings: Graphic description of death, character death, sadness 

Quick A/N: So, this was requested by @reemnaqvee and I hope I do your request justice! It’s been too long since I’ve written anything. I also hope that this fic is as close to what you requested @reemnaqvee! 

F.I.T: @laceyn-1201 @waywardnewcomer @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @i-hear-crazy-calling-my-name @casiskween @great-godpotato-akane @closetspngirl @specialagentlokitty @dearsmileyman @im–an–angel–you–assbutt @destiel-trenchcoatangel @msimpala67 @thetallassgirl @invisibledevour @hobby27 @gabriels-trix @gabby913 @xiumin-girl99 @stileslove 

(F.I.T is my Forever.In.Tags, if you’d like to be added/removed please just let me know 😊 If you are in these tags, you’ll be notified of all the fics I create!) 

Note: Bold is the dream “realm” whilst normal text is the normal world! 

Enjoy! Feedback is Appreciated! 

“Dean! Dean, come on, you’re being too slow!” The soft voice rang from around me. My lips curled into a frown as I huffed, sitting up and glancing around the large field. Sunflowers...? These... They were her favorite. 

“Dean-o, don’t make me throw water on you.” The voice chuckled as I wrung my body, turning around to look for her. To see her once more time... Just one more. “Y/N!? Y/N, where are you!?” I yelled out into the open field, yet the only response I got was the soft breeze and the rustle from the large flowers that seemed to fly high above your head now. 

“Look down, silly,” she whispered. I snapped my head back down, my attention falling from the sky to the girl that stood in front of me. Her usual get-up replaced by a soft and flowing sundress that drifted around in the breeze. Swallowing thickly, I reached towards her with one of my shaking hands, her own suddenly grasping mine as she yanked me forward. I collapsed - broke. Wrapping my arms tightly around her as she sighed softly, her hands trapped against my chest as I felt the wet trails of tears drag down my scruffed cheeks with a gagged cough catching in my throat. 

“You... You’re here.” I mumbled into her soft hair. The wind answered with a gust as she nodded, humming. 

“I’m always here, Dean... Always.” 

“I... I’m so sorry,” I groveled, slowly dropping to my knees in front of her as she tilted her head, furrowing her brows. I wrapped both arms around her thighs and squeezed them as I coughed more, the thick tears dripping onto the soil beneath us. “I’m so, so, sorry, Y/N... It wasn’t supposed to be you! The... The monster moved and I... You...” I hissed as her soft hand ran through my locks. Dragging them back, in a petting motion as I whimpered into the soft material of her dress. “It wasn’t supposed to be you.” 

“I know... Oh, Dean, I know it wasn’t - Sam, he warned us how dangerous the hunt was going to be and, yet, we didn’t listen.” She spoke sweetly as I clenched my jaw, fighting back the pain that washed over me in waves. Suddenly, the material I had buried my face into, slowly moved away, as well as Y/N’s body; it melting through my grasp just like when she... 

“Dean, you cannot dwell on what happened to me... The hunting life was dangerous and we both knew that it was only a matter of time,” 

“A matter of time for what?! Your Fiance to kill you by shooting you because he got scared by the sudden spirit that appeared?! Because that’s NOT a good enough excuse for what I did to you, Y/N!” I spat, rising up from the soil as the wind sudden huffed, the swaying sunflowers suddenly halting in their dance as Y/N stared at me. 

Slowly she moved towards me, stopping just in front of me with a frown. One of her hands reached up, caressing my warm and wet cheek with her cooler palm, the rough pad of her thumb dragging a few tears away from my eye. 

“It’s not an excuse, Dean. I knew it would happen, however, a million other things could’ve happened. We just chose the wrong one.” She whispered, leaning up and pressing her lips chastely to my cheek. I clamped my eyes closed as I clenched my fists. 

“Cas could bring you back. Rowena could bring you back. Hell, Sam and I could bring you back!” I hissed as she took a step back, shaking her head. “No. Dean. I know how this whole death thing works with you, and it’s not going to happen anymore, at least not for me.” She slightly spat as I snapped open my eyes, staring at her with parted lips. I couldn’t fight her... Not on this. 

“You need to go. Sam’s looking for you and besides... I’ll always be here, Dean.” Y/N smiled softly, the venom from before now gone as she took a step towards me, standing on her tip-toes, I quickly wrapped my arms around her. The sunflowers swaying once more around us as the sun beams down on top of us with its warmth. 

“I don’t want to leave you... I just want to stay here with... With you, please. Please, don’t make me leave.” I growl into her hair, a soft sigh passes against my cheek but before I could hear her words... I’m thrown into darkness. 

“Dean! Dean, where the hell are you?!” I groan as my vision bubbles and blurs from being hastily awoken. I cough as I slowly sit up from the soft earth below me, narrowing my eyes, I glare up to see the large sunflowers standing above me... Shit. The sound of running footsteps causes me to look over my shoulder and see Sam racing towards me, panic soothed into relief. 

“Dean! God, what the hell happened to you?” He slightly pants as he takes a knee next to me. My mind foggy as I slowly shrug, groaning as I waved for him to help me up. 

“I... Have no idea. I just woke up here.” I sigh as he frowns at me. I felt a pang of guilt for making him worry to so much and, yet, here I was taking a catnap in the middle of a sunflower field. 

“Okay, well, let’s get back to the bunker and you can get some real sleep... You look like a raccoon.” Sam nervously chuckles as he turns and starts back into the direction he came from, leaving me to frown and rub at the underparts of my eyes. 

“I don’t look like a fucking raccoon,” I growled to myself before heading off after him, half happy to see my own bed, half saddened about leaving the place that reminds me so much of... Her. 

I gasped as I awoke in the field again, quickly rising from the soft dirt as I turned on my feet, taking in the surroundings. 

“Y/N?! Y/N, where are you?!”I shouted out into the large stems as I huffed, quickly walking through the paths that were between each row. But, with each step, I could feel anxiety wriggling its way into my chest as I broke into a run than to a sprint. “Y/N!” I came to a halt as I reached the end of the path, awe taking over as I stared at the crisp, clear lake and the thousands of sunflowers that were scattered among the large oak trees that could hold a castle within their branches. 

“Dean? Back so soon?” A soft voice called as I snapped my head towards it, a large grin pulling on my lips as Y/N moved out from behind one of the large trees, a bundle of sunflowers resting in her forearms. 

“I... I wanted to see you again.” I nervously coughed as we met halfway. The trees and flowers swaying as the few birds around us chirped and sang; the peace that radiated off of Y/N made me feel... Happy. 

“I told you I would be waiting for you, dork... Why are you back so soon though?” She asked, furrowing her brows as she reached down, grabbing my hand and dragging me behind her towards the field that was near the lake. 

“I... Sam, he told me I needed to rest more since our last hunt and I thought of you so... Here I am.” I grinned as she giggled, melting my heart more as I swallowed thickly at the slow horror that worked up that I would have to leave her again... 

“Dean, just enjoy this time we have, please... You always were such a worrier,” Y/N teased as we sat among the sunflowers, listening to the water and soft noises that played around us. 

I smirked at her, “I had reasons to worry.” She frowned slightly and shrugged, “and you still do; many reasons actually. But, for now, I want to just... Lay here with you. In your arms. While everything around us just... Happens.” She whispered, dropping the sunflowers to her side as I nodded, seeing no reason to speak as I wrapped my arm tightly around her shoulders and squeezed her against my side. The soft fabric cools beneath my palm on her hip as I swallowed thickly, turning and pressing a passionate kiss to the top of her head. 

“I love you, so much, Y/N... And I miss you every day, more each day too.” I whispered into the quiet air as she hums, nodding against my shoulder. 

“I miss you each day I’m here, Dean... And I love you more than you’ll ever know.” She whispered against my chest, pressing a light kiss to the same fabric that covered her. “But, for now, please... Let’s just be lost among the flowers.” 

The End :’) 💖😭

So! That was the first fic I have written in a WHILE and I do hope it gives you all the fluff and cute things you wanted! 

#Dean x reader #Dean Winchester #Dean x dead reader #Fluff! #First fic in months #Requested #requests are open! #hope you enjoy! #spn fic #SPN #Supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural boys