#Dr Doofenshmirtz can stay I guess cause Vanessa is there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

probably-not-star-lord · 6 years

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Meet Cute (Wade Wilson x Reader)

A/N: So we’re just gonna go ahead and pretend Vanessa lowkey doesn't exist in the fic lmao

Request: Oof, if your still up for deadpool request. How about something where she was in similar circumstances as he was in in the first movie. It can be platonic if romance dosent work for the story. Also if you want it can be in headconnon thanks xxx

Request: About the deadpool request, yeah where they both have cancer (or another illness) and get taken to the mutant place where they meet and escape.

Summary: After being diagnosed with cancer, you’re sent to a facility that is designed to be a cure. Not only do you find a torturous way to get better, but also a man with an interesting charm.

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, Deadpool cause he counts as a warning

The day the doctor sat you down to tell you that you had late stage cancer was by far the worst in your life. Your friends and family weeped at the news, but tried their best to keep you healthy and happy in the remaining days you had left. Then, when a suspicious agent approached you on the street one day, you got your hopes up. Sure, the guy gave you the fucking creeps, but he guaranteed you’d get better. He also promised mutant abilities and what could go wrong with that? Everything sounded perfect!

Of course, everything was going wrong.

You had expected the day you found you had cancer to be the worst, but the day you were admitted into this facility with the promise of a cure is definitely number one on your list of shitty days. The cot they rolled you into your room on was dirty, uncomfortable, and made you feel restrained. You expected a cheerful hospital with bright walls and doctors with giant smiles, but instead this place was a living hell. Everything is filthy and dark, all the people are jerks, and you were informed you are going to be tortured until you get better.

Several days went by full of pain and suffering when the workers told you that you were close to being free of your cancer and unlocking your mutant ability. You wonder if it’s even worth it anymore with all of the bruises and cuts scattered all over your body. You felt sore, weak, and hopeless. By now you’d rather just go back to dying of cancer, surrounded by those you love.

“Ooh a room change!” a voice calls out in your room. You look up from your bed to find a man being rolled in on a cot by Ajax. Ajax is the asshole who met you when you first arrived here, alongside his companion Angel. They’re both complete dicks who find fun in hurting the poor people who get admitted here.

“Y/N,” he greets with a devilish smile. “You look like shit today.”

“Ajax,” you spit, glaring at him. “I would say you look like Dr. Doofenshmirtz today with that lab coat but I couldn’t disrespect him like that.”

“Wade!” the man on the cot yells with a cheery tone. How the fuck is he so happy here? Is he new? He sits up as much as he can and flashes you a grin and you suddenly become aware of the bruises and blood on his face. Wade looks like an absolute wreck but you somehow find him madly handsome. “Sorry, I thought we were yelling names,” he defends, pointing a finger at you. “Also, hot chick, that was a fucking amazing insult by the way.”

“Y/N, this is Wade Wilson, and he’ll being staying in this room with you until one of you moves onto the next progression of pain.”

Wade winks at you. “Thanks for putting me in the room with this sexy piece of ass and not that fucker who reeks. I think his name is Greg or whatever the fuck but he smells like shit,” he blabbers. “He kind of reminds me of you in that way, dish soap.”

You snicker at the nickname but quickly stifle your laughs when Ajax shoots you a glare. “Good luck sharing a room with him, Y/N. He’s the most annoying asshole you’ll ever meet,” he warns you before heading toward the door.

“No, that would be you,” you mumble, stopping Ajax in his tracks.

“I like her,” Wade chuckles. Ajax rolls his eyes and exits the room. “See you next time you beat the shit of me with your mutant fuckery!” he shouts after him. He turns his attention to you once again, checking you out more thoroughly. Even if your face is coated with sweat and blood or dark in some areas due to the bruising, Wade still thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his entire life.

“So...” you trail off, unsure of what to say.

“Well, this is the perfect meet cute isn’t it?” he snickers. “I feel like I’m in a Nicholas Sparks novel!”

“I guess so, huh? We’ll have quite the love story.“

“I bet we will,” he agrees with a kind smile.

The innocent flirting makes your heart race and you can feel your cheeks heating up. “Uh, how long have you been here?” you ask.

“A couple days, you?”

“It must be almost a month by now,” you sigh. “But I have no way of knowing for sure.”

“That really fucking sucks,” Wade responds. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry too, Wade.” You meet his eyes and give him a weak smile. He returns your smile, looking sympathetic and exhausted. Some part of you wants to take his pain away, make him feel better and help him get out of this hellhole. He looks like he’s been through a lot, and not just the days he’s spent here.

You and Wade share a room for quite some time, spending your days making fun of Ajax and Angel or sharing stories of times before you were brought here. Apparently his friends made the same efforts yours did when they found out he had cancer, making him eat and drink healthy stuff that tastes like shit. Overtime, you found yourself growing very fond of Wade, and the two of you both decided there is something there that would be worth giving a try if you ever escape. But, deep down, you know that is merely a dream.

Today has been a particularly shitty day. The workers have been hard on everyone, producing some extra pain out of all of you. You lay on your cot beside Wade’s, looking up at the dingy ceiling with tears in your eyes. “Wade?”

“Yeah?” he answers, voice meek and tired. He’s right where you are, hoping for something better and probably on the verge of death.

“Do you have a bucket list?” you ask. “Like what would you have wanted to do before you were taken here?”

Wade ponders for a moment before breaking a grin. “I’d want to get one last blowjob from my friend Weasel.”

You laugh loudly, being genuinely happy for the first time in a while. “What?”

“Oh, Weasel’s a bartender,” he explains. “Blowjob is the name of one his signature drinks that I force him to make.”

“Are they any good?”

“Blowjobs? Fuck yeah, I love a good blowjob.” You’re cracking up now, falling in love with Wade’s sense of humor. “What would you want to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know...” you mutter. “See my friends and family again? Watch my favorite movie? Have a good meal? You know, the usual bucket list shit.”

“That’s too generic!” Wade gasps. “You need something cool like...fucking Ryan Reynolds before you die.”

“That would be very, very nice.”

He scoffs. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“You suggested it!”

“Well, maybe I meant I wanted to fuck Ryan Reynolds!” he jokes, causing the two of you to laugh even harder. “That man is absolutely beautiful and could have me anyway he wants.”

In between your laughs, you manage to speak. “You look almost exactly like him!”

“Really?” he questions with a smirk. “Are you saying that I am so fucking attractive I could have you any way I wanted? Cause I certainly have some ideas...”

You shrug, meeting his smirk with your own. You watch each other laugh as you continue to joke around, but eventually the giggles fade and the room is filled with a sad silence. “Honestly...if I could leave here the first thing I would want to do is see you,” he states seriously. “Like really see you, not tied down and worn out. I want to be happy with you, like normal people are with each other.”

You smile, a tear falling down your cheek. “I’d want to be with you too...just like normal people.”

“I’d want to kiss you.”

“I’d like that...” you whisper, extending your hand toward his cot as far as you can reach. Wade reaches out as well, taking your hand in his. For a brief moment, everything seems like it’s going to be okay.

“Lovely,” Ajax asserts, waltzing into the room. “I don't know about anyone else, but I'm touched.”

You quickly pull your hand from Wade’s, wanting nothing more but to touch him again. “Don’t worry, asshole, we’re only kidding.”

“No, no. It's okay. I encourage distractions. Wouldn't want you giving up on us, now would we?”

“Hey, don't take any shit from him, Y/N,” Wade says, shooting you a wink. “How tough can he be? You know...with a name like Francis.”

“Francis?” you chuckle. He smiles at you, loving the way you laugh, but Ajax just looks furious. You don’t know what the fuck Wade is doing, but you’re hoping it’s something helpful and not something that will cause him to get killed.

“That's his legal name. He really did get Ajax from the dish soap! F, R, A, N, C, I, oops! I snabbed the dry-cleaning tag off your lab coat. FYI, I could probably get you the super hero discount.”

“You are so relentlessly annoying,” Francis grunts. Yeah, like you’re going to think of him as Ajax now that you know his name is fucking Francis.

“Thanks, never heard that before.”

“Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up?” Francis threatens. “Or I'll sew your pretty mouth shut.”

“Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. See, here's the problem with round-the-clock torture,” Wade explains. “You can't really step it up from there.”

Francis smiles wildly, sending you an unsettling feeling. “I was actually here just to inform Y/N her cancer is cured, and that she unlocked her mutation... you know I find so much pleasure in that,” he says, strutting over to Wade’s cot. “But now I think I might have to prove to you that you’re wrong.”

Wade gulps as Francis grips his cot and rolls him out of the room. As he exits the doorway, his brown eyes find yours and you see nothing but fear. “Wade...” you mumble to yourself, clutching onto your restraints tightly in hopes they could break, but you know they won’t. Your heart breaks, knowing you’ll most likely never see him again, but then Francis reenters the room.

“Oh, you didn’t think I was just going to leave you out, did you?” he asks, pushing your cot out of the room as well. “I wouldn’t want you to miss the show.”

In the room you see Wade being strapped down in some sort of machine that looks like a clear tube. “What is that? What are you going to do to him?”

“Worried about your little boyfriend?” Francis laughs maniacally, walking over to stand beside Wade as he’s being secured. “If this doesn't unlock your mutation, well... Nothing will. Now, what we're going to do is lower the oxygen concentration in there to the exact point you feel like you're suffocating. If your brain waves slow, meaning you're about to pass out, then we'll turn up the O2. If your heart rate slows, meaning you're able to catch your breath, we'll turn it back down. And that's where we'll leave you...right there.”

Wade groans. “I thought you guys were dicks before.” You can tell he’s trying to keep his humor, despite being completely unaware of whatever is about to happen to him.

“You know the funniest part of all this?” Francis quizzes. “You still think we're making you a super hero. You, a dishonorable discharge hook deep in hookers? You're nothing. Our secret, mate, is that this workshop doesn't make super heroes. We make super slaves. We're gonna fit you with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. Who knows what they'll have you do...terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters, maybe just mow the occasional lawn.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Wade seethes.

“You're never going home after this.” You cringe at the way Francis speaks, knowing something terrible is coming for Wade, who looks terrified. “Now there’s a brave face,” Francis reveals. He starts to close the machine, but Wade stops him.

“Wait, wait,” he commands. “Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now.” Usually, you’d laugh at his jokes and admire the way he’s remaining lighthearted. But right now you’re far too worried about Wade to feel anything other than pure terror.

“Enjoy your weekend.” Francis slams the machine shut and saunters over to the controls.

“Weekend?” he asks. “Back up, weekend?”

“What the fuck are you going to do to him?” you shriek, but there is no answer. Instead, Francis starts the machine and sends a chilling grin to the two of you before leaving the room. You watch as Wade struggles to breathe, trying to get as much oxygen into his lungs as he can. You hate to see him like this so you scream and cry, fighting against your restraints in hopes that one of these workers will have the heart to save Wade. Your vision gets blurry as your eyes fill with tears, hearing Wade gasp and knowing there is nothing you can do to protect him from the hell he is enduring.

Soon, night falls, and a whole day passes until night consumes you once again. It’s been impossible for you to fall asleep with Wade struggling right beside you. You’ve spent your time sobbing quietly or closing your eyes trying to not watch. But, the exhaustion becomes you, and your eyes start to flutter shut as a few remaining tears fall out of them. You’re barely asleep when you hear Wade scream and your gaze instantly falls on him in the tank. You watch in horror as his skin transforms, covering itself in scars slowly as they make their up to his face, changing the way he looks forever. You’re unable to sleep again that night.

The next morning, Francis enters the room and turns off the machine. Wade sucks in as much air as he can, regaining a steady breathing pattern. “Wade!” you cry, but he’s too angry to answer.

“Fucking hell,” Francis announces, looking Wade over. “Looks like someone lost his shot at homecoming king.”

“What have you done to me?” he bellows furiously.

“I've merely raised your stress levels high enough to trigger a mutation.”

“You sadistic fuck!”

“I've cured you, Wade. Now your mutated cells can heal anything. It's attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. You know, I've seen some of the side effects before...I could cure them. But where's the fun in that? Now I'm gonna shut you in again Wade. Not because I need to, but because I want to,” he conveys, looking to Angel so he can command her. “Ah, well, go ahead.”

You are at a loss for words. The idea of Wade being shut in that machine again, crying for help that will never come, shatters your heart to pieces. You don’t want to be here anymore, you never wanted to be here, but now it seems impossible to stay. Angel fiddles with Wade’s straps as you fight against your own, praying your mutant abilities can somehow bust you out. The workers ignore your suffering and continue to focus on Wade. “You smell like shit,” Angel insults. Wade head butts her but you notice something peculiar in the way he does it. When she backs up, the match that usually hangs from her mouth is missing. “Mother fucker-”

“Hey, hey, hey! It's alright! It's alright. I think we owe him that, yeah? Take off. Go on, off you go,” Francis sends Angel from the room. “Quick question...what's my name?” Wade doesn’t reply, meeting your gaze with sad eyes. You know exactly what he’s planning.

“Wade...no...” you whisper, but no one hears you. He nods to you, hoping you’ll understand. What if it kills him? But, what if it works? So, you do understand, but you don't know if you want him to do it. Francis, however, doesn't understand at all.

“Didn’t think so,” he states, shutting the machine and turning it on once again.

After he leaves, Wade reveals the match he was hiding in his mouth. You shudder as you watch him light it and chuck it towards the oxygen vent. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes smiling, knowing what’s about to come. Within seconds, the facility explodes as fire erupts everywhere around you. To your surprise, you don’t feel as much pain as you thought you would, and all of your wounds heal almost as soon as they are made.

You break free from your restraints as they burn, and run off into the flames in search of Wade. You sprint right into a large body, and are relieved to find who it is. “Wade!” you yell in delight, wrapping your arms around him for the first time. He returns the embrace, holding you as tight as possible, but when you pull away he still looks miserable.

“You definitely don’t feel the same way you did before,” he mumbles.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Now that I look like...like this. You can’t still-”

You roll your eyes and swing your arms around his neck, pulling him down so he's inches away from your face. “Don’t be ridiculous, Wade.” You smirk up at him and quickly smash your lips on his. He’s stunned by your boldness but gives into the kiss easily, loving the way you still care for him despite everything.

He pulls away from the kiss slowly and presses his forehead against yours. The two of you smile brightly and genuinely for the first time in a very long time. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he says, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. Wade envelops your hand in his as you look out into the distance, ready for whatever is going to hit you guys next.

So, hand in hand, you and the soon-to-be Deadpool run away together from the fucked up mutant factory. But, in some twisted way, you’re grateful for the facility, as it lead you to the love of your life.

A/N: Yikes that was long as fuck but I really liked how this came out so I hope that’s cool with y’all lmao

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