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#Don't take my word for any of the labels I put out there I'm just guessing on the closest possible fit
makkir0ll · 1 day
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you finally turn in your essay you breathe a sigh of relief. but that feeling is soon gone when you check the time and see that it's 11 pm.
you look at the windows nearby and see that it's pitch black, and you check your surroundings and there are very few people left. it's finals season and the library is no stranger for students to be pulling all-nighters trying to study or turn in their projects at the last minute.
you close your laptop and pack up your stuff and go to head out when you look outside the door and you see a weird man outside, smoking something that smelt absolutely disgusting. you felt a pit of anxiety grow in your stomach because this is the only way out and any of the other exits would sound the emergency alarm. you take deep breath and decide to walk out (dumbest decision ever) and you're hit with a "hey there pretty girl, what are you doing here?" from the creep and you immediately run back into the library.
you open your contacts and go to the one labeled tobio❤️ and click on it, calling him. you knew he was probably sleeping, but you didn't really want to sleep at the library.
he picks up "hello?" his voice is groggy and laced with sleep. you start to feel bad knowing you woke him up.
"tobio?" you start. "hey i'm sorry for waking you up but there's this creep outside the library and i just-"
"i'm on my way." he cuts you off. you hear some shuffling in the background. "give me like ten minutes and i'll be there". his house is a thirty minute walk from the university library. "just wait inside okay? don't worry."
"it's okay tobio you can take your time. i'll be waiting. i love you"
"i love you too." and he hangs up. you put your phone back into your pocket and you can't help the guilty feeling that begins to swirl in the pit of your stomach. you know he has a busy schedule with balancing volleyball and school and you soon begin to regret your decision. but there was no stopping him he was probably halfway to the library by now.
you're sitting on one of the armchairs with your phone in your hand, mindlessy scrolling on social media when you feel a hand on your head, you look up and see your dark hair boyfriend. he seems out of breath and his hair a mess. he's still in pajamas, you can tell because he's wearing a stained hoodie underneath his puffer.
"lets go" he says with a small smile.
you stand up and he follows next to you as you walk out the building. when you see the man coming to approach you again you feel his arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you into his chest. you can hear his heartbeat.
"oh? back again pretty girl-"
"hey man fuck off alright." kageyama scowls at him, pulling you impossibly closer to his chest as he begins to walk faster. leaving the creep behind.
once you guys are a safe distance away he begins to loosen his grip on you but never moves his arm from your shoulder.
"i'm sorry if i woke you up." you start to say.
"why?"
"i don't know, i guess it's because you have such a busy schedule. and i know how much you care about your health and that stuff-"
"but i care about you more." he says bluntly, dark blue eyes staring into yours. "i mean i would much rather be tired at tommorows practice than have you be unsafe." he says with his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. yours do the same at his words.
you continue your walk back to his apartment. he says that after waking him up you owe this to him. of course you can't deny when he offers to give you his t shirt, and when you pull the covers up to your chest and feel his hand snake around your waist and pull you close to him, nose nuzzling into your neck you hear him whisper.
"don't ever worry about bothering me if something like this happens again." he presses a kiss to your neck and you turn around to cup his face and kiss his lips softly. you see the moonlight illuminate his features as you pull back, his eyes half lidded with a smile on his face.
"okay, tobio. goodnight" you say smiling. resting your head onto his chest as he pulls you closer.
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auraworkshop · 3 months
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VOID SUCCESS STORY
I Finally Experienced The Void State
HOW I USED TO VIEW VOID BEFORE I ENTERED
Before I entered it, I viewed the void as the ultimate state of oneness with the universe. I viewed it as the place where I could finally be free from all suffering and limitation. It was a place where I could be at peace and experience the ultimate reality. I also viewed it as a place that was beyond anything I could imagine or describe. It was the place I was drawn to and wanted to experience more than anything else in the world. It was where I knew I could find the ultimate truth and the ultimate peace and bliss.
I was never a fond of it, I just and wanted to feel it, experience it by myself. I don't understand why it's so hyped up after all.
HOW I TAPPED IN
I tapped in by listening to my subliminal. Before putting on the sub I did a special, ancient breathing technique :
Bhastrika or the bellows breath
For this you have to Close the right nostril and inhale twenty rapid bellows-like breaths through the left nostril. Repeat with twenty more bellows breaths through the right nostril while keeping the left nostril closed. Proceed to take twenty bellows breaths through both nostrils. This method helps the body and mind to clear out mental, emotional and physical blocks.
After doing this, I put on my subliminal and a blind fold on my eyes and imagined myself walking inside my own mind and it's getting darker and darker as I get deeper into it, exactly like Eleven did in Stranger Things. Okay, so doing this made me super duperr relaxed which got me slept and when I woke up I knew that I made it! and NO, my void was not pitch dark, I don't know but for some reason it was white, pure white. I felt like I'm directly looking into a bulb you know :)
MY EXPERIENCE WITH IT
My void experience was a feeling of emptiness and peace. Not a single thing was there in the void other than my consciousness. I felt completely liberated and at ease when I was in the void. My thoughts were dead silent and I was just being. I felt a deep sense of connection to the universe and a knowing that all is well. It was a feeling of emptiness and unity at the same time. Everything that is, is within me. It can not be described because it is beyond any description. No words and no labels can truly define or grasp the eternal silence of the void. The void I experienced was full of utter peace and stillness. It was the complete lack of self-consciousness and the total realization of eternity. It was pure, uninterrupted consciousness. It was a place of pure awareness and complete freedom from all attachments and desires. It was a place of absolute silence and the absence of all thought and emotion. It was a place of complete and utter bliss and nothingness at the same time. I felt a deep sense of timelessness and immortality. I felt like I was in my purest form. I felt like I was in a state of total nirvana and perfect happiness. It was like being in a state of pure bliss and complete oneness with the universe. I felt connected to everything and everyone, and it was the most pure and peaceful experience I've ever had. However I have entered the void twice but snapped out on incident within seconds. Staying in the void for hours is totally different :)
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE VOID IS JUST UNDESCRIBABLE 🤍
I really don't know how to put it into words
I just feel COMPLETED now !
WHAT I MANIFESTED
No, I didn't manifest anything in the void. Manifesting something through the void was never my intention because I already have manifested almost everything just by listening to my subliminals and I love listening to them. But if in future if I'll manifest anything in the void, I'll update y'all about it for sure with pictures.
Believe me or not the void is unnecessarily so hyped up in this community, it's so easy to access it. Now with my experience with it I know how I can be helpful to y'all in regards of accessing the void state.
I know people will ask me for the subliminal that I listened to, so first of all I made it myself, because few days back while I was on my journey to entering the void I listened to a subliminal, which made everything worse, I knew that the subliminal maker has used some bad spells in it, so I made my own sub. No wonders tho because earlier I used to make subliminals for myself and they did worked for me and I manifested a lot of things but I was so lazy that I stopped making them :)
But as I really wanted to experience the void within myself, I decided to work a Lil hard and make a sub for myself and after researching deeply on how I can make subliminal work faster, I managed to made it myself.
I have posted it on my YouTube channel but remember my sub will not work for those who have bad intentions! ThankYou.
Here's the video :
Enter the void in the blink of an eye : Use w/ caution
youtube
Make sure to hit the subscribe button because I'll be uploading more such subliminals ! 🤍
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fusaes · 10 months
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𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 '𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 - ft. hobie brown / spiderpunk
🎸、 . *. ⋆ warnings; mentions of blood, profanities, 'breakup', makeup sex-ish, slight angst, vaginal penetration, no p in v, biting, mentions of piercings (hobie), poor attempt at British slang, parents in house, lmk if there's more! ✧. word count: 935
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The rapid knocking on your window didn't falter even from the stormy weather that the sky was going through. The clock strikes 1:34 am, the light shining on the figure that was trying to get in by your window.
''Let me in... I know 'ya see me...'' The shadow had spikes on top of its head, and a guitar strapped on its back. The voice echoes from your window, only urging you to open the door. The raspiness and toned sound gave you an idea of who it was.
''Holy fuck, Hobie what the hell-'' His body fell on your carpet, limp and covered with bruises and cuts. His suit was busted, the fabric was ripping at the arms and the seams were threatening to open.
''What happened? Speak to me, Hobie.'' You quickly scooped his upper body to lean against your bed frame. You run towards your bathroom to grab a cloth and wet it with warm tap water. Your hands rummage through the cabinets, finding the band-aids and Betadine.
You approach Hobie's wet body on your rug, clearly swinging around the city while it was thundering. Someone didn't check the weather forecast... But you set that thought aside and wiped off the blood pooling on his cheek.
''I'm fine, babe.'' ''Don't call me that.'' Your words only seemed to puncture Hobie's ego rather than his body. ''Why not? Doncha love it?'' Your hands were a lot denser on his skin before he used the corny nickname on you. You and Hobie weren't so 'peachy' after that incident in one of his shows.
''Loosen' up, doll.'' Hobie's hand rests on your cheek, pushing away the stray hair strand from your face. Your hands swat his away and occupied themselves in getting the bandaids and the Betadine. ''Just cause I'm taking care of you now, doesn't solve our relationship, Brown.''
Your sudden call of his last name shot a bullet through his heart. He knew you were tough to crack, but if he had to go on his knees for you to forgive him he gladly would.
''Brown? What happened to 'Bee' or 'Love'-'' ''It died, Hobie.'' You put the last bandaid on his cheek, your face inching closer to his. His breath fanning on your nose and his eyes only piercing through yours.
''You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't love me.'' His words made your hands pinch his ear, a small frown appearing on your face. ''I'm only doing this because we're...'' Your words only faded away from the sudden thought of what you and Hobie were.
You didn't like labels yourself. But Hobie was the only one who could actually play your heart and make a tune. As corny as it sounds, Hobie didn't help the banging of your heart in your ribcage.
His eyes were looking directly at yours, winking at your cute frown. ''Friends?'' You pinched his ear again and rose up from his side. ''Bastard.'' Your words lightened his mood, but the spark remains.
Hobie stands up from your floor and follows your figure in the bathroom. His hand trails across your waist, your two reflections being seen in front of the mirror. Your hands grip the ceramic, letting Hobie corner you between the sink.
''If you didn't love me... You wouldn't let me do this, wouldn't 'ya?'' Hobie's hands slide under your pajamas, his hands pawing at your panties. ''Hobie...'' His free hand makes your way to yours, caging your hand in his.
''Mm, yeah? 'Ya know my name. Say it.'' His fingers set your panties aside, collecting your essence from your slit. A small moan comes out of your mouth. Your hand covers your mouth from spilling any more sound.
'''Bee, parents-' Hobie knew that your parents were in your home. In fact, a part of you thinks he came here for that sole purpose. ''I know, I know. Keep quiet for me, yeah? You can do that for me, can't you?'' You bite your palm once Hobie enters his fingers inside of your cunt, your juices pooling at your panties.
Your moans are muffled by your hand, his thumb toying with your clit. ''You like that, don't 'cha?'' His words enter your right ear, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear. His cold rings hit your hot skin, and the sudden temperature change gave you goosebumps.
Even due to how odd it sounds, Hobie knew how to toy with your body just right. The way his fingers curl and crook inside of you, the pace of shapes circling on your sensitive clit, him pinching your nipples. He had known your anatomy more than you thought he did.
''Mm, right there?'' He was teasing you, the way your body shook under his touch only proved the impact he had on you. You could only moan for a response, your eyes closed at the knot tightening in your stomach.
Your hands let go of the cold ceramic of the sink, holding Hobie's hands through the fabric of your pajamas. ''Close? I can feel you. Fuck, so tight. Squeezing my fingers.'' Hobie kisses your neck, the cold metal of his piercings only made his sloppy kisses more pleasurable.
He bites the skin of your shoulders, ''Wanna keep me inside of you forever?'' You could only nod your head frantically, your legs close shakily. ''Cum for me.'' His words led you to your orgasm, your sweaty bodies sticking to each other from the heat of the moment.
''You know you love me.'' He grabs your chin and kisses your swollen lips.
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the thoughts in my head with hobie only spiraled to this mess. i hope you guys enjoy this either way:) ‧₊˚ ⋅ fusaes 2023 do not copy
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lorax177 · 10 months
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Fun fatphobia fact of the day:
CMS/HCC is a way for insurance companies to estimate how much money a patient will cost to insure, based on the major problems they have.
This is my list of diagnoses.
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I blacked out one of them because it is my intersex condition and has to do with my assigned gender, which I don't want to be associated with my online presence. Also, there are a few repeats because doctors will put in their own phrasing, so sometimes when I switch doctors, I get re-diagnosed with the same thing, with slightly different wording. It's also missing a few diagnoses i got as a kid, namely my autism and a comprehensive list of the specific learning disorders I have, because I didn't think they were relevant to a general practitioner and i didn't want them on my record for safety reasons. Anyways, you'll notice that there are several of them that have the aforementioned CMS/HCC label. Those are schizoaffective disorder, major depression (which is part of my sza,) and two counts of "morbid obesity". My adhd, which I need to take two different medications daily to treat sufficiently enough to function, is not labeled as a major disorder, but my size is. Twice!
You'll notice that nowhere on this list is any diagnosis that is supposedly related to my fatness. That is because, metabolically speaking, my health is perfect. My lipids, a1c, blood pressure, pulse, and o2 are all in the excellent range. I am not on any kind of medications for any of these, either. The fact that I have more body tissue than their ideal, which has no bearing on my actual health, is considered more important to address than my neurodevelopmental disorder that requires two expensive medications to treat. They think that I am more of a risk for them because of an imagined bogeyman of a diagnosis ("morbid obesity", aka being fat) than something which actually has real life functional and financial consequences (my severe combined type adhd). Or, for that matter, my ocd, which I needed intensive outpatient therapy for; my transgender identity, which has cost them thousands of dollars in hormones and surgery; my asthma, which requires two medications to treat; and my gerd, which requires one.
I'm not advocating for medical insurance companies to make it harder for people with these diagnoses to get treatment. I'm just pointing out that the medical system sees me as a drain on their resources specifically because of my weight rather than the diagnoses that actually cost them money (albeit with one exception). They think my adipose tissue, which is not causing me any health problems, is more important to note than most of my legitimate health problems.
That is medical fatphobia.
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moonstruckme · 8 months
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poly!marauders x reader but reader is contemplating their relationship?
(IDK IF YOU DO ANGST SORRY 😭)
No worries!! It's definitely not my most practiced genre but I'm happy to give it a try :) Honestly unsure if this came out as angsty enough, so please do not be shy and let me know if not! Thanks for requesting
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 886 words
James, Remus, and Sirius balance each other out perfectly. James is so sweet he should come with a warning label, always showering everyone in affection and bringing joy into every room he's in; Remus emanates a quieter sort of contentedness, and he provides a calm, rational perspective when the others need it; and Sirius takes everything they have together and dials it up to eleven, the depth of his feelings so intense that being around him is almost a sort of high.
The issue is, you're not sure where you fit into all that.
The boys seem to care about you, but you can't really figure out why. You have none of James' lightness, Remus' patience, Sirius' humor. You've been trying to hold onto this thing between you, to enjoy it while it lasts, but waiting for the other shoe to drop is becoming maddening. Eventually—someday soon, likely—they're going to realize that they're better off without you.
Naturally, you're pondering this while Sirius braids your hair, James chattering about why he thinks you all need a dog (Sirius has pointed out that you already have him) and Remus reading with his back leaned against your side.
You're trying to figure out the least needy way to ask why they care about you when Remus nudges you with a movement of his shoulder.
"You've been quiet tonight, dove."
It's far from accusatory, but the other boys pick up on the implication nonetheless. Suddenly, all the attention in the room is on you. It's a bit overwhelming.
"I was just thinking..." you say tentatively, unsure of your words. "Do you think we'll all stay together?"
James looks as though you've slapped him, and though Remus doesn't turn, you feel the muscles in his shoulders tense.
"Why would you say that?" James asks. "Of course I think so."
"But..." Merlin, there's no easy way to go about this conversation. "I just, I don't really see what I'm bringing to the table here." You cringe at your own words, awaiting judgement—or worse, epiphany—from your boyfriends.
Sirius, whose hands have been motionless in your hair since you spoke up, abandons his project entirely, letting your hair drop limply from his grasp. "Wha—what does that even mean, what you bring to the table?"
Remus turns around, placing a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Easy, love," he murmurs. "Y/N, can you tell us what you're worried about?"
You look between them as Sirius comes to sit beside Remus, feeling stupid and immature. "Sorry, it's not...a you-guys thing. It's just that, I can see how well you work together, and why you love each other, but I don't really see why you'd love me." Your voice gets quieter as you finish, shameful of your thoughts and the position you know you're putting them in.
Sirius releases a disbelieving exhale, slumping into Remus' side, and the taller boy wraps an arm around him, looking at you like you're one of his crosswords and have just given him a particularly perplexing clue.
"Sweetheart," James says, pulling your attention towards him, "it's not a matter of why we would love you, just that we do. Do you need to list off reasons for why you care about every person in your life, or doesn't it just happen?"
"I don't need to," you admit, "but I could. I love you guys because of who you are."
"And so do we," Remus says. "Dove, we care about you. Isn't that enough? Can you trust us with that?"
"It's not..." It's not a matter of trusting them. You'd trust any of them with your life, with everything. It's that you don't trust yourself. It's that you're worried you won't live up to it, to this earnest affection they're offering you. You don't think you deserve it.
"How about this," Sirius says, in his typical cut-to-the-chase manner. "If we didn't love you—and have damn good reasons for loving you—we wouldn't be with you. So there." You must look unconvinced, because Sirius arches a brow. "You don't think that, with James' bod and Remus' hot accent, not to mention my boyish charm, we could have anyone we wanted?"
You crack a smile, but Sirius just looks at you, awaiting an answer. You shrink a bit under his gaze.
"You could," you say sheepishly.
"Right." Sirius grins suavely. "And we used those combined faculties to snag this hot piece of ass." Without warning, he reaches out and drags you into him, the two of you piling an unfair amount of weight onto Remus.
You squeal, and James shouts "Oi! Leave our poor Moony alone," tugging on Remus' arm until Remus sighs, disentangling himself from Sirius and going to sit beside James. James ruffles his hair, planting a triumphant kiss on the taller boy's cheek. If Remus blushes a bit, you pretend not to notice.
"Got that?" Sirius looks at you threateningly, but his voice is soft, his eyes imploring. "We want you, baby. Finders, keepers."
James nods as if this is a sage decree. "Think you might be able to get used to that?" he asks, and you know he's only partly joking.
You relax into Sirius' hold, giving Remus and James an apologetic look. "Yeah," you say. You can definitely get used to this.
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aphroditelovesu · 4 months
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Kinktober Day Twenty-Eight — Shower Sex
❝ 🌊 — lady l: day twenty-eight of kinktober! I know I'm late but I will finish this week!! Also, sorry for any mistakes! 🩵💙
❝warnings: NSFW, smut, vaginal sex, shower sex, teasing and wasting water.
❝ 🌊pairing: poseidon x female!reader.
❝word count: 1,120.
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"I still don't think you should do that." Poseidon said as he sat down on your bed. You looked at him quickly, frowning when he got sand on your bed.
"Shouldn't what? Take a shower?" You scoffed and grabbed your change of clothes. A pair of sweatpants and an oversized black blouse will keep you comfortable for the rest of the day.
Poseidon looked at you intently, "I just don't like the idea of ​​you going into fresh water after leaving sea water."
You laughed softly. You had just returned from the beach, from leaving the domain of the sea god. He was sullen and grumpy from the moment you told him it would take time to get all the sand out of your hair when he got home.
You scoffed, it didn't make sense to you but to him it was even an insult. The fresh water that fell from your shower was not his domain but that of other minor gods that he was not really friends with.
"Look, I need to take a shower. I know you don't like the idea of ​​me getting in the shower, but I need to wash my hair and get all this sand out of my body."
Poseidon just nodded and watched you enter the bathroom and close the door. He didn't like being away from you, much less leaving you in such a vulnerable position. The god stood up and watched the closed door, deciding to put his pride aside and join you in the shower. Maybe he could get something out of this.
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You felt your body relax as the hot water fell over your naked body, relaxing your muscles and filling the bathroom with steam. You loved taking a shower, you loved this moment when you just thought about your future and washed your body.
Your eyes were closed as you stood facing the shower, letting the water fall onto your face. So absorbed in your own world inside your mind, you didn't hear the door open or the shower stall open.
Only when a large hand touched your bare, wet shoulders did you open your eyes and turn around in fright, relaxing when you saw it was Poseidon and a nude one at that. Your boyfriend? You weren't sure yet. You hadn't decided on a label for your relationship, but you liked him and hoped he felt the same way about you.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry, sweetie." He murmured, tracing his finger along your soft, wet skin. He enjoyed the way your body shivered at his touch.
You tried to pretend his touch didn’t send shivers of desire through your body. You bit your bottom lip and smiled at him, "It’s okay."
Poseidon smiled and traced his finger to your chin, lifting it and bringing your face closer to his, taking your lips in a shallow kiss. Your body trembled under the contact of his lips and you could feel your body reacting.
He smiled at you, running his tongue over your lips. You breathed heavily and wrapped your arms around the god's neck, trying to bring your bodies closer together. Poseidon smiled and moved his face away from his, diving into your wet neck and kissing the skin.
You tilted your head to the opposite side, giving him more access to your skin. He kissed your neck gently, licking the soft skin. You shivered when his tongue made contact, squeezing your thighs for friction. You loved that tongue, how good it made you feel when it were between your legs.
Poseidon gently pushed you against the cold bathroom wall, making you shiver at how cold it was in contrast to your warm skin, the water from the shower now falling against the god's skin. You closed your eyes and opened your mouth, asking for a kiss which was immediately answered.
Your mouths became one as Poseidon pressed his against yours, your tongues intertwining in an attempt to dominate the kiss. His hands went to your hips and squeezed the soft flesh like they were toys for him to squeeze. You moaned into the kiss when you felt his hardness against your thigh.
Poseidon pulled away from you and you groaned in frustration. He smiled mischievously and quickly picked you up, pressing your back tightly against the wall and your legs wrapped around the god's defined waist. You bit back a moan when you felt his hard cock near your core.
Your breasts were pressed against his muscular chest and Poseidon smiled and rubbed your body against his, sending waves of pleasure as his cock brushed against your cunt. You were already painfully wet — in more ways than one and you needed him inside you.
"Please…" You begged as he rubbed himself against your body, the wetness making it easier to touch. Poseidon smiled and without waiting any longer, lined up his cock against your pussy and pushed into your heat.
You moaned loudly as he entered you, your inner walls clenching around the sea god's length. You took a deep breath and saw that he was smiling widely and as the water fell on you, Poseidon pushed his hips hard, pressing you hard against the cold wall and drawing moans from you.
Poseidon kissed your face and held you tighter, fucking you at a fast pace, pushing you to your limit. Your back hurt a little and your arms felt a little limp as you were ravaged.
He groaned and held your hips tightly, keeping you still as he thrust into you hard. You moaned and closed your eyes, letting him take all the control. Poseidon took one of his hands to your left breast and felt it, squeezing your nipple tightly. You grunted and clenched tightly around him, eliciting moans from the god.
Your breaths became more labored and you felt your pussy tightening even more, a sign that you were close. Poseidon smiled and kissed your neck, his teeth dragging under your skin. You moaned loudly as he hit your g-spot and you came, your cunt clenching around him as you released. Your body went limp and Poseidon thrust a few more times inside you and moaned your name like a prayer when he came, releasing himself inside you.
You smiled and faced the sea god who looked at you affectionately and full of lust. He didn't let go of you, instead, he held you tighter and kissed your forehead gently, remaining inside you.
The hot water fell over the two of you, washing away the traces of your sex. You tried not to think about the water bill you would have to pay later.
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ceriseswift · 1 month
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞- 𝐞.𝐦. (𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞’𝐬 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)
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i don’t rly go here at this current moment in time but i def want to start writing for eddie more so im partaking in @carolmunson’s writing challenge!! details found here!
pairing- eddie munson x fem!reader
summary- you’re teaching eddie some baking skills ahead of your family’s holiday party. eddie accidentally lets some insecurities slip. you reassure him how much you love him.
warnings- this lowkey got kind of angsty but only for a little, insecure!eddie but we love him
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
thump.
the collision of soft cushion against the back of your head mats your hair and stops you in your tracks. you pause for a moment, hands settling on the edge of the small trailer’s kitchen. you bite your lip, almost annoyed at yourself that you find his immature behavior so endearing.
“really, eds? are you five?” you chastise lovingly, promptly returning the throw pillow exactly the same way it came.
“oof!” eddie exhales as the pillow comes into contact with his soft tummy, “i'm sooorrryyyyy," he fake whines, sauntering over to your spot in the kitchen, "god forbid i want attention from my girlfriend! didn't realize that was asking so much!"
you roll your eyes at his dramatics but sink into his chest as he encircles his arms around your waist.
"what are we making, pretty girl?" he murmurs against your temple before placing a kiss there.
"my grandmother's famous sugar cookie recipe. you can be in charge of the frosting?" you lean your head back onto his shoulder as you ask the question, your sparkling eyes boring into his uncertain ones.
he sucks in air through his teeth, "i dunno babe, i'm no good at this. in case you forgot, i burn water."
you stiffen in his arms, "don't be like that," you quip, "that's not even true! and you know i hate when you talk about yourself like that. so in case you forgot, you can do anything you set that pretty little mind to." you punctuate your little speech with a kiss to his forehead, hoping it seeps through his brain and he finally understands how amazing he truly is.
"thanks, babe," he mutters sheepishly, his humorous reserve gone, "how do i make frosting? i didn't even know it doesn't always come in cans until just now."
you huff out a laugh, "i brought my recipe book for everything," you explain, pulling out a small notebook full of your grandmother's scribbles, "so as long as you have measuring cups and mixing bowls we should be all set."
he takes a second to rummage through his cupboards, pulling out white plastic cups with faded labels on them- 1 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/4 cup, and so on.
"we don't have any like, nice measuring cups, is this okay?" he asks, voice still meek, cheeks tinted the slightest shade of pink.
“as long as we have the right measurements, i don’t care what they look like,” you flash him your sweetest smile before planting a big kiss on his cheek. you beam when his cheeks flush even deeper.
“soooo…” eddie starts, handing you two mixing bowls and taking one for himself, “who’s all going to be there this weekend?”
you could tell by the unusual nonchalance in his tone that he was nervous, but trying to play it cool. after a lifetime of harassment for being who he was, you knew that the pressure of meeting your family was resting heavy on his shoulders.
“pretty much the whole crew,” you say as lightly as possible, but you still see him tense. “eds. they’re gonna love you. i promise,” you tell him with utmost sincerity.
“really?” he scoffs, putting more elbow grease than necessary into mixing the vanilla cookie frosting, “you positive your picture perfect family is gonna be okay with you bringing some freak to their annual party?” his words have bite to them, and they make you pause. “the fact that your family even has an annual christmas party is beyond me.” he mutters under his breath.
you know what he’s doing, you’ve been here before. eddie sometimes feels insecure about the disparities of his upbringing, and you know by now that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying. his bitter words are his armor, protecting him from the vulnerability he shied away from for years. that doesn’t mean they don’t sting, though.
“eddie, if you don’t stop, we’re gonna have a problem,” you rest your spoon on the lip of the mixing bowl and turn to him, “i love you. everything about you, and my family loves me. which means that they’re going to love you no matter what, because you’re important to me.”
he’s still not entirely convinced, so you opt to pull out the big guns, “eddie. do you love me?”
his eyes snap to yours, wild and incredulous, “of course i do. what kind of question is that?”
“as cheesy as it sounds, that’s all that matters sweetheart. they’re going to see how sweet you love me, and that’s all they’ll need to know you’re amazing,” you thwart his attempts to make himself smaller, “unfortunately for you, babe, you can’t hide from me at this point. i see all of you, i know all of you, and i love all of you,” you move to wrap your arms around his middle, eyes boring into his so he can feel your sincerity.
“you-you really like that?” he chews his bottom lip, “all of me?” the last part comes out quiet, and your heart cracks in your chest.
“i love it, eddie. i love you. i swear i want to go back in time and beat up all those little assholes who made you feel otherwise,” you seal your words with a kiss on his lips, a hint of vanilla frosting dances on your tongue.
“thank you, my love,” he says when you break, squeezing you to his chest in an infamous eddie bear hug, “i love you too.”
the two of you stood there for a minute, your nails scraping at the nape of his neck as he held you close.
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purelyfiction · 2 months
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is it too soon to do this yet? - jake 'hangman' seresin x f!reader
Word Count: 1,977 words
Summary: this aint for the best, my reputation's never been worse so, you must like me for me. we can't make any promises now can we babe? // is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you're in my head? cause i know that it's delicate. is it cool that i said all that? is it too soon to do this yet? 'cause i know that it's delicate.
Content Warning: fluff!! possibly insta-love for those put off by that.
Author Note: first: i wrote something?? on time??? second: for @ohtobeleah 's galentines writings :))) unedited/unbetaed we die like idiots
you had been here for a good time. your friend was getting married and her bachelorette was taking place in this quiet coastal town near a naval base. had that been part of the appeal? absolutely. who didn't want to watch a bunch of walking red flags as they did their daily trainings on the beach?
a little dive bar friday night with a shoddy jukebox, cheap beer and countless sailors - it had been the most fortunate surprise when you'd walked in with no other plans but to show off your sashed friend.
luckily for your group, sailors were suckers for a good bride to be and her girl crew. even luckier for you since you'd been playing DD for the last three days of the five day trip and you were finally able to take a damned sip of alcohol, which you rightfully deserved. glass in hand, you approach the jukebox to survey the music choices as the other girls were served shots (you wanted a drink not a hangover). you're about to pick out a song when you realize the machine hadn't been modernized and it still took cash. sadly, you spin back to the bar but not before dousing the man behind you in the makings of your whiskey sour.
"fuck, i am so sorry-" a hand grips your arm and he shakes his head.
"no, no, don't worry, i'm just upset on your behalf. what a waste of good whiskey." you look up, green eyes charming their way into easing your guilt. "I was gonna offer you a song, but ugh- maybe i ought to offer you a drink instead?"
he ends up buying both.
and as your friends sing along to the ancient song on the jukebox, you sit with this lone aviator and get to know him. long after your friends have retreated to the airbnb.
it was funny to think that was almost a six weeks ago. you'd flown to california for one week of fun and never went back, thanks to a rouge cowboy with eyes that matched the jumpsuit he donned to work each day.
you'd been crashing at an short-term rental since your friend's bachelorette, save for the weekend of the actual wedding, when jake had been your plus-one. everyone had relished in how the string of fate had connected you like this.
they'd also spoken of how insane you were. to uproot your entire life for the sake of what was supposed to be a one night fling. but it didn't bother you. not when the expansive reach of his hand had guided you through crowds that night. had danced with you and made a part fool of you both. i am a fantastic dancer, i have no idea where these guys are getting the idea i'm a trainwreck. his voice so easy and content on the drive back to the hotel that night.
now here you were, cooking for the two of you in his apartment as you waited on your boyfriend to get back from work. the label was maybe a week old at this point, but it fit him like a damn glove. so much so you'd started reaching out to potential leasers to sublet your apartment back home. maybe you were rushing into this. your job had been fine with you staying out in california longer - you were remote anyways, that had been the main perk of the job. but moving? for a man you'd known maybe a month?
the door slams shut and the entire apartment shakes. jake's place was small, tiny even, so you're greeted with his tense expression the minute you look up from your spot at the kitchen counter. "hey baby, how was-"
"fine." he grits the word out, dropping his duffel to the floor and disappearing down the hall. the bedroom door shuts with a click instead of a bang this time.
this wasn't boding well for you. you had a grand plan to make dinner, watch movies and have a nice and easy night in together, maybe talk for a bit. you'd wanted to discuss going to see an apartment this weekend. you didn't want to move in together, but you needed to look for a place of your own instead of crashing here so much. if this was going down that road. yet, the pilot seems to be in the worst mood to have that kind of discussion.
when he finally comes back to the kitchen, he slinks in behind you and presses a quick kiss to your head. "how was that call you were dreading." he's changed out of his uniform, a pair of sweatshorts on his waist, a dark t-shirt on his shoulders as he glides to the fridge. the tension is still carried in his frame even if he isn't outwardly acting as if there is something bothering him.
"ugh, it was - it was fine." now you're shutting off just like he was. it might be just you mirroring his actions, or maybe it was more. uncertainty? uneasiness? doubt?
the crack of teeth on an apple pulls you from your mind. you look to the fruit in his hand as he steps out to the living room on the opposite side of the kitchen wall. "i- dinner is almost ready, you know."
the tv stirs to life, echoing off the walls of the bachelor pad. the lack of decorations or real furnishings had been one of your reasons for wanting to pull the trigger on the move. to have some of your belongings back in your life, some familiarity.
"yeah, i'll eat." finally you're over it. you're not taking this from him, not when you had shit on your own mind that needed to be addressed. turning the burner off you step out of the kitchen, coming to the coffee table and snagging the remote. with it switched off, he looks at you with offense. "i said i'd eat what is the big deal?"
"what is going on with you?" your hands come across your chest as hangman snags the apple with his teeth as he dives into his pocket for his phone.
"nut-ing" the word comes out odd since his jaw is unable to move. you raise your eyebrows at him, which earns a similar reaction from the blonde. groaning he pulls the apple from his mouth. "rough day at work. got my ass handed to me by my superior, everyone talking shit because i flew better than anyone else- just in a piss poor mood. i'm sorry." you stare at him with concern now. it was just a bad day? then why was he suddenly as secure as a vault? locked away with high tech security and an obnoxiously long passcode.
"that's not all of it." you pry, slowly coming to sit down next to him. but when you do, he immediately stands up.
"yeah it is." he moves over to the kitchen again, tossing the apple core away. frustration eats at you again, tilting your head as your tone sharpens as he starts to step down the hallway.
"are you going to talk to me like your girlfriend or just like some bitch you're keeping around? cause right now it feels more like the second one." he freezes and his head drops back.
"look, i don't do the talking about emotions thing, i don't do the-"
"oh bullshit." you stand and march down the hallway, coming to stand behind him as his head sinks. "you put your heart on your sleeve when i saw you cry at dane and avery's wedding. and when you laughed to me about your childhood dog when you were drunk the night before at the rehearsal. or how you just seemed to stare at me with no concern in the world when we went out for ice cream last week - you do emotions. you do them and you feel them more heavily than most people i know." he slowly spins to look at you. "so start talking." the command is softer than the rest of your words.
finally, he relents. you sit on the couch with bated breath as he explained that he doesn't have the social life he had presented to you that first night. that his coworkers all think he's an asshole, that he's a dick and he isn't the kind of person to be friends with. "up until now, i didn't think i was the kind of person to be a boyfriend, let alone a friend."
it stung a little. jake as little as you had known him, had been one thing - confident. reassured in his personality and his work. he had this charisma around him that lured you in without him needing to really try. "i don't know how you believe that." you speak softly, pushing hair out of his face as it falls, gel from this morning weak from the impact of G-force pressures and california humidity. "you're a fun guy. you always make me laugh. i feel so.. safe around you. it's hard to imagine anyone else not appreciating that like i do."
jake's laid back on the couch now, looking up at you before looking at the ceiling. "yeah, well i guess the reality is that i'm easy to hate, hard to love. an acquired taste."
"that couldn't be further from the truth." it slips out so easily. green eyes perk up in curiosity.
"angel, i'm- to make it quick, i'm a menace. people know my callsign and they know my reputation. a selfish dick looking to get to the top and on top of women. hell, i don't know why you've stuck around as long as you have, so clearly somehow i've rubbed off on you."
your legs shift as you try to adjust on the couch to look at him better. "jake, i'm not going to be that girl. it would be a little weird if i was that girl, i mean, it's been what, a month?" he's slowly raising onto his elbows when you start in your ramblings, "but, you just- you take me by surprise in the best way, at every turn. yeah, sure they have some idea of you but it's not jake. it's not the guy who's impulsively buying karaoke machines to have idiotic nights in, or the guy who's sneaking pictures before anyone can notice because you're sentimental. or even the guy who hides the tears in his eyes at the end of how to train your dragon-"
he points at you with an amused expression, "you saw the way that dragon curls around him, he saved him." you can't hold back the laugh.
"my point is: hangman is so, so far from jake. cause i mean, i love jake, he's... he's my guy. and i don't get what's so hard to love about that." you give a small smile until it computes in your head what you've said. "i ugh..." jake keeps a coy grin on his features, leaning into his chin now that he's rolled onto his stomach, knowingly catching onto what you've said. "is it cool that i said that? i mean i- we can pretend that i didn't and forget this ever happened-"
he cuts you off with a soft press of lips to your own. the taste of apple juice still lingers on his chapped skin, before he pulls away. "it's cool." he offers, a hand coming to take your own.
"i promise i won't say it again." there's a mad blush on your face and jake just laughs.
"ah, don't you go promising nothing. let's just go finish dinner, yeah?"
and jake takes his rightful place next to you at the stove, towering over you as his head bounces along to the music you've put on, glancing at apartment listings that you pull up.
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bluecollarmcandtf · 2 months
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Ask me Anything...
Today seems just like any other boring day, slaving away in the office, but something different is about to happen. The steady hum of fluorescent lights is broken by the squeaky sound of wheels rolling up behind you. Someone is visiting your cubicle...
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"Dude, you ok?" you ask, startled by the sorry state of your coworker.
His name is John. He started working here a month before you did, but he's always labeled you as "the new guy." He's really annoying about it, but you've never complained. It's hard to get mad when you've got a crush on him. It just sucks that he's straight and always teasing you in front of the boss
"Seriously, John," you wave a hand in front of his unresponsive face, "Are you alive? You're drooling all over your shirt!"
His blank expression is unsettling, but seeing him slumped over in his seat like a lifeless sex doll is turning you on. You can't help but stare at the parted lips or the limp body. With a shudder of excitement, you notice the outline of his thick package as his slacks ride up his waist.
His prolonged silence is making you more nervous, "John? I'm starting to get worried..."
Suddenly his head jerks up! His glassy eyes stare blankly in your direction as his lips mechanically form the words, "Do not worry about this man's health. Your colleague will be returned to normal with no memory of this."
His robotic response only puts you more on edge, "John, why are you talking in the third-person?"
Before you get an answer, the man springs out of his chair and drops to the floor, sitting on his knees in front of you without a thought in his head. This can't be the John you know!
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Everything about this feels unnatural and wrong. His words sound rehearsed, like they're coming from a machine in his throat. His movements are limp and uncoordinated, like they're being pulled by invisible strings. Someone has taken over your coworker!
"This body is being used as a messenger," he explains from his knees, "He is being used to announce that the Bluecollarmcandtf is now open for Asks. For a short time, you can use the Ask feature to request a story..."
"What!" you gasp and glance around the office nervously. You can't believe that a silly blog you follow has somehow taken over your hot coworker! What if your boss comes out and sees John on his knees in front of you? How is this even possible?
"...you can ask for anything, and Bluecollarmcandtf will bring your fantasy to life. Maybe you want someone in your life transformed. Maybe you want them controlled. Maybe you want them humiliated. Bluecollarmcandtf will take care of it for you as long as you follow him..."
Your mind is racing, and you can barely grasp what John is telling you. Mostly, you're just worried someone is going to catch sight of your coworker kneeling in front of you!
"Ok, thanks for letting me know," you grit your teeth anxiously, "Please put John back to normal now."
"...John won't go back to normal just yet," John answers numbly, "Give him commands to obey. His body is yours to boss around for the next twenty-four hours..."
"Boss John around?" you gasp, wondering what to make him do.
"You have ten seconds to give John a command. If you don't, he's going to start braying like a donkey at the top of his lungs. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6..."
"Ok! Just shut up and kiss my feet!" you blurt it out a little louder than you mean to, but at least John won't start drawing any more attention to you by acting like an animal.
John stops his countdown and lowers his face to the floor, planting a kiss on each of your fancy loafers. The funny thing is that he doesn't stop. I suppose you weren't specific enough with your command because he just keeps mindlessly switching between each shoe, making out with them like it's the most normal thing in the world.
Your mind is racing with what to do next. Already, ideas of how to humiliate him and use him are swimming through your head, but remember what he told you. Asks are open!
Don't be afraid to request taking someone else under your control. Maybe Bluecollarmcandtf could do something about that boss of yours? You'll obviously have to be careful about what you ask. Fantasies can always be misinterpreted...
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Note
Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?
🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.
So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.
However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.
Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.
In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.
I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:
1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe
2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.
3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)
Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.
This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.
I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.
Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?
I dont think I am but idk lol
What are these acronyms?
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auratux · 9 months
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Opinions on how the Bll characters would react when you tell them that you’re afraid that you’re holding them back? And you know the ‘you deserve better’ insecurities.
omgomg I love this 🥹🫶
includes: Bachira, Isagi, Kunigami, Rin, Chigiri and Nagi
warnings: angst, hurt comfort (if I labeled that right..)
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Bachira Meguru
He’d be real sad that you even thought about that in the first place
It makes him think to himself if he never gave you enough reassurance or showed his appreciation to you
He’d want you to tell him why you felt that way in the first place and hopefully, you two could come to an understanding. He was big on communicating.
“I can’t keep holding you back, Meguru,” you whisper pitifully, staring down at your hands that were enveloped in his. “You have to focus on your future.”
“What makes you think that, honey?” He asks gently. His heart aches to see you in this state and wishes he could take all your pain and put it on his shoulders. “Please tell me.”
“You’re so close to reaching your dream and becoming pro and it feels that I’m the one who is stopping you from pursuing and taking the spot on the national team. If it were my fault that you didn’t go, I’d hate myself.”
“Do I make you feel that way..?”
“No!” You shake your head. “It’s me thinking that. I just don’t want to be that person who stops you from doing what you want most.”
“Darling..” his finger curls under your chin, tilting your head up. His yellow orbs staring into your own— your irises gleaming from the tears that fall. “If anything, you’re the reason why I’m pushing to go pro. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I can’t do it without you. I need you with me.”
“R-Really..? You mean that?”
“Every word. You’re my rock and I can’t do this without you. Please don’t think you’re holding me back. You’re motivating me to be the best version of myself.”
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Isagi Yoichi
At first, he doesn’t believe you and thinks you’re joking but once he notices your tear-stained face he snaps out of it.
Isagi knows what it’s like to feel like you’re holding people back — he felt that way years ago when he played with his school team.
He feels that he’s not the best comforter with words but he knows that him being there for you and listening is more than enough — and you feel that way too
"I just can't stand the fact that I feel as if I'm holding you back from what you really want, Yoi. I feel like a burden"
And an arrow pierces right through his heart. His mouth is agape as he listens to you pour your heart out on the couch in the middle of the night. Prior, you were both enjoying a movie while cuddling when suddenly you said that you couldn't do it.
"You aren't a burden.."
"Then why do I feel like one?" you whimper, your sad eyes glaring into his own. "I feel like a failure of a girlfriend who can't even let her boyfriend do what he wants!"
Just like that, you break down in front of him for the second time that night. He hates the position he put you in. He never realized or never intentionally wanted you to feel this way. For all he knew, he felt that you guys were on the same page.
His ray of sunshine that could brighten up any dull room was now surrounded by dark grey clouds of doubt and insecurity.
"come here," he mutters, placing a hand on your shoulder and running it down your back, bringing you close to him. His other hand strokes the back of your head. His lips press against the top of your head, listening to your muffled cries.
"Listen, I know we both know I'm not the best comforter, but I'll always try my best to put a smile on your face. I don't want you to have these thoughts and I'm glad you could tell me. But know, I wouldn't be here without you, and damn won't continue without you."
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Kunigami Rensuke
when you approached him with a teary expression he immediately goes into protective mode. who did it? Where were they? does he know them? doesn't matter, he's gonna get to the bottom of it
but when you tell him what's upsetting you, he goes straight to comforting you and relieving you from the doubts surrounding your mind
"I know how much you worked and how far you pushed for this and I feel that you could reach your full potential without me here. I mean, maybe you have to go on without me and start a new chapter..."
"Is that how you truly feel?"
"yes," you whisper pitifully, refusing to meet his eyes. you aren't sure what he's thinking and honestly, you want to keep it that way. it would hurt too much to find out if he's looking down at you with disgust or thinking you're insane.
"look at me."
A small noise in refusal and a shake of your head is your response. He lets out a small sign and scoots closer to you, squeezing your bare thigh. "Come on, don't be that way."
"Why aren't you mad?"
"Mad?" he asks in confusion. "Why would I be mad?" His question now caught you off guard as you snap up to look at him. His eyes soften once he notices a tear trailing down the swell of your cheek and down your chin.
"Because I just implied I'm holding you back."
"So why would I-" he starts then silences. "Do you think this is the most important thing to me?"
"Kinda yeah.."
"No," he lets out a small chuckle, a smile breaking out onto his lips. "you got it all wrong."
"How?" you whisper. "It's basically your dream."
"My dream? Football is dandy and all but it's not going to be here forever. My real dream is to be able to spend every moment with you. You're the most important thing to me. Don't think otherwise."
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Chigiri Hyoma
when you tell him how you feel, he feels guilty and gets to the point where he almost starts crying with you.
he wants nothing more than to whisk you into his arms and calm you down and remove those awful thoughts away.
eventually, he's gonna need reassurance in the end since he feels he failed you as a boyfriend
"Are you holding back because you're worried about your leg? Or you don't want to go far because of me?"
That question caught him off guard when you guys were getting ready for bed. Never in his life had Chigiri thought that you would think something as silly as that. At least he never had a reason to think that, unless he gave you that impression.
Once that question was released into the air, it led to a discussion that ended with both of you crying. You were crying because you were apologizing for asking such and felt guilty for even thinking it. He was crying due to your crying.
He hated to see it. He wasn't an emotional guy, he was quite reserved for the most part. It was always guaranteed for him to cry when you did. It was like a trigger for him.
"I'm so sorry, my love. I never wanted to make you feel insecure. In fact, I'm supposed to do the opposite and make everything feel better."
“No, Hyoma, I’m sorry for asking that question. I don’t know what came over me to ask it but I’m sorry.”
His pink locks sway with the shake of his head. His hand brings the back of your head closer to his chest and suddenly you guys are starting to rock back and forth slowly.
“You have every right to be asking questions like that. Please don't apologize for asking. I'm not upset you asked it."
"Are you sure...?"
"yes darling," he whispers, his cheek pressing up against the crown of your head. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing to me?"
"Because I wish I never gave you that impression and wish you can see how much I can accomplish with you by my side. You're not going anywhere. I need you."
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Nagi Seshiro
hearing the words come out of your mouth distracts him from his game which results in him turning it off and looking at you in disbelief
he wasn't sure if you meant it actually considering you knew how lazy he was to do anything but regardless, he gave you his full undivided attention
"you deserve better than me."
"There's no one I want. I want you."
you sign, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. "you're only saying that to make me feel better."
"Yeah that's kind of what I was going for, but I truly mean it. Believe me. I only want you." Nagi reaches for your hand, tugging you closer to his body. His hand trails down to your waist, giving a gentle squeeze.
"I don't want anyone else wearing my jersey and being my personal cheerleader. It makes me feel like I'm the best player in the world."
"You mean that...?"
"Mhm," he nods. "Without you, I don't know what I would be doing if I'm being honest. I'd probably be cooped up in my room and play games."
"You do that already..."
"Yeah, but this is different, honey. I'd be doing that alone and playing football. Doesn't that sound boring?"
"Well, I guess it does," you mumble, playing with the end of his shirt.
"What I'm trying to say is that there is no one else I want. There's no one who could replace you. You're my everything. I want to do all of those things, with you. Only you."
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Itoshi Rin
at first, he doesn't know what to do.
what you're telling him reminds him of how he felt all those years ago with his brother. Unlike you, Rin's support system was no longer present and he wouldn't put you in that same position.
"I'm just confused where you got this feeling from. Am I neglecting you?"
"No, Rin. It's just when I met you, football was all you ever spoke about. Hell, it was practically your life and even after we got together you talked about it when we were alone. I just feel that you can't achieve what you want with me here..."
And there it was.
After his brother had left him behind all those years ago, it still affects him today. He never knew he dragged those feelings with him into your relationship.
No doubt Rin felt anger when his older brother left. He had some regrets and the majority of those regrets were not telling his brother how it made him feel.
Did Rin have to leave you behind in order to grasp his dreams?
Suddenly all those feelings long ago washed over him. Guilt, sadness, and anger welled up in his head to the point where he was even suffocating in his own thoughts.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, looking down at his lap. "I never realized I put those thoughts into your head."
"It's okay, Rin. I know you didn't mean it."
"No, it's not okay." He looks back up at you, eyes sadden at your sorrowful expression. He reaches for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I know how you feel and it's awful. I never wanted you to feel the same way he made me feel."
"Rin..."
"I'm not him," he starts. "I don't want you to leave. I need you here with me. I want you at every game, wearing my jersey and screaming my name. You're my biggest supporter and I wouldn't change it for the world."
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ticklygiggles · 2 months
Text
A date worth remembering| Zayne x Reader
Collab with @otomiyaa
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A/N: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! We're early for this one but we wrote it in like one day *applause* we love our doctor that much 😍 we hope you guys enjoy it!
Summary: Chocolate? Check. Gift? Check. Food? Check. A clueless boyfriend? Check! All ready for the perfect Valentine's day!
Words: 2k
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You felt a little silly. Your cheeks were red and your heart was about to jump out of your chest as you made your way to Akso Hospital. Night had already fallen over Linkon City, but the streets still looked very alive and vibrant. Everywhere you looked, there was a couple holding hands, hugging and even sharing kisses in the middle of the street, causing your already reddened cheeks to get even hotter. 
Flowers, chocolates, balloons and heart-shaped decorations filled the restaurants around. It was that big celebration again: Valentine's day. You couldn't say you'd ever been drawn to that particular celebration. Thousands of other more important things were running through your head most of the time, but... now Valentine's Day didn't feel so foreign to you. 
With your free hand, you covered the silly but huge smile that stretched your lips. On your other hand, you carried a plastic bag with two lunchboxes, food warm and ready to serve; in your bag were two boxes: a heart-shaped one filled with truffles and dark chocolate. The other, a small rectangular box with a pen with a certain doctor's name engraved on it. It was your first time celebrating Valentine's day, you couldn't help but go a bit overboard.
Your voice sounded funny as you checked in at the reception. They had gotten used to you popping in unannounced, being Dr. Zayne’s partner. You were allowed access and made your way by yourself to his office. You couldn’t wait to see his response… Giggling and humming to yourself, you ended up in front of his door, and you breathed in. 
“Alright then,” you whispered, raising your hand to knock on the door. Right at that moment, the timing magical and so funny, the door opened and Zayne showed up. He looked at you and your raised hand, and then moved back into his office.
“Great timing. I was about to go catch some lunch.” He walked back inside, letting you stumble in with your luggage. You were used to your boyfriend being such an ice queen. 
“You? Lunch, at a regular time?” you asked. 
Zayne shrugged. “I remember a certain someone promising me to eat lunch normally if I did too, so I’ve got to set an example,” he said kindly. You smiled and put the bags down beside his desk.
“Well, good thing I planned my visit just right then. I have something for you, of course,” you said, reaching inside the bag and taking out the chocolates first. You handed the box to him, and he accepted it with a frown on his face.
“Thank you? You know I don't usually eat sweets, but thank you for choosing dark chocolate..." Zayne said, turning the box over and carefully reading the ingredients label. “However, is there any particular reason why you're giving me this? … Is it my birthday? Isn't it during summer?” 
You blinked a couple of times, staring at him. He actually looked confused, his eyes looking at the box carefully and then turning to look at your eyes. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his expression. You expected nothing less from Zayne, he obviously wasn't going to remember that today was Valentine's Day - it really would have been surprising if he had remembered. 
“What is so funny?” he asked, arching an eyebrow as he opened the box to take a chocolate.
You giggled, cleaning a gleeful tear from the corner of your eye. “Oh, Zayne… I'm really hurt.”
That caught his attention. He quickly raised his head and looked at you with slightly widened eyes. You weren't upset that he had forgotten, you expected that to happen, but that didn't mean you couldn't act a little offended, right? 
“Did I do something?” 
“Do you know what day it is, Dr. Zayne?” you asked playfully. 
“It’s Wednesday.”
“Date?”
“February 14th,” he said, and you could see his facial expression change as he said it. He wasn’t that stupid.
“Oh.” 
He turned his head, looking just the slightest bit embarrassed. He was so cute. You strode towards him and grabbed the chocolate box that was still in his hands.
“You are in a relationship with me, and forgot about Valentine’s Day?” you asked him teasingly. He put only a little bit of effort in keeping the chocolate box as a shield in front of himself, but you managed to take it away and put it on his desk as you dragged a chair to sit beside him. 
“I was busy,” Zayne explained.
“So was I,” you hummed. “Mission after mission, but looking forward to this day,” you said, rubbing his stomach fondly through his doctor's suit. Zayne shuddered and caught your hand.
“Don’t,” he warned, but you continued to wiggle your fingers. 
“Don’t what?” 
There was no way he would say it, but the light pink hue spreading across his cheeks only made you feel more playful. Your mind convinced you that he needed to be lovingly punished for his cute mistake. Leaning in closer to him, noses almost touching, one of your hands sneakily moved to his side and your fingers gently wiggled against his flank. 
Zayne gasped and he jerked. “You– I am sorry, it r-reheally slipped my m-mihind- stohohop that!” A giggle escaped his lips when he felt soft wiggly fingers on both his sides, climbing up towards his ribs. 
“Hmm? Stop what?” You tease, smiling warmly at him; the corner of his lips trembled, stubbornly trying not to smile. “Why are you so squirmy? After not remembering it is Valentine's day, now you don't want me to be close to you? Don't you think you're being too rude, Dr. Zayne?” 
Zayne shook his head, trying to avoid facing you as he tried to push your hands away from his body, but a squeeze to that tender spot underneath his ribs had him letting out a strangled sound that made you giggle. 
“Oh? Could it be that Dr. Zayne here is ticklish? Or maybe it's just some reflexes?” 
“I’m nohohot - wait ahahah!” He turned and twisted clumsily, positioned awkwardly against his desk while you continued to tickle him. You gasped dramatically.
“You’re not? Were you going to lie to me too, on top of everything else? I’m so hurt,” you said, grinning like an idiot as you continued to observe the sweet expression on his beautiful face. Even from the funniest joke, Zayne wouldn’t ever laugh the way he did right now. Tickling was like magic, so you couldn’t help but find the smallest excuses to make your lover laugh.
“Ahahalright, that’s enough!” Zayne laughed. You cocked your head.
“I don’t understand,” you whined, your hands lowering to dig into his hips, making him jerk and jump adorably.
“I’m sohorry!” he laughed. “I forgohohot!” Zayne laughed. You didn’t even consider tickling him into an apology, but if he was going to be like this anyway…
“Didn’t quite catch that,” you said, pinching his cute hips again. Zayne let out the most adorable little cackle.
“I’m sorry I forgohohot Vahaha-Valentine’s Dahahay!” 
“Are you really sorry, Dr. Zayne?” You grinned, leaning so close to his laughing face. “Don't forget I haven't used my special weapon yet,” you teased, your hands moving behind him, your fingers gliding across his lower back, making Zayne gasp sharply and jump forwards, your noses now definitely touching. 
“I truhuhuly am sohohorry!” He laughed, his arms suddenly wrapping you in a tight hug. You blinked in surprise, your hands stopping before you wrapped your arms around him too, squeezing him tightly as he laughed breathlessly against your ear. 
How could you deny him a hug when he was letting you listen to that wonderful sound he could only do? Zayne's laughter was definitely the best gift for any occasion. How could you not forgive him? 
“Did you learn your lesson, Dr. Zayne?” You asked, kissing his shoulder. “I'm sure you won't ever forget about it, hmm?” 
Zayne sighed, finally breathing normally. He nuzzled your neck with his nose and you giggled, pressing yourself closer to him. 
“Even though I was laughing against my will,” he said, playfully biting your neck and making you gasp. “My apologies were sincere. I am also sorry because I didn't get you a present… dinner's on me next time.” 
You hummed, the most ridiculous grin pulling at your lips. “That's okay, Zayne. I kinda knew you wouldn't remember it. I know you that well.”
“...” He leaned back to look at you. “And yet you decided to tickle me?” 
You shrugged your shoulders. “It was your punishment!” 
“I see,” he said, nodding slowly. You held your breath when he gave the most intense stare for a few seconds. He then let go of you and moved towards your bag.
“So did you bring anything else, or will we have chocolate for lunch?” he asked. You breathed out. For a moment you thought he was going into revenge mode.
“There’s lunch of course. A healthy one. Warm.”
“Did you pack it well? I hope it didn’t get cold,” Zayne said. You nodded proudly.
“The way I pack it, it never gets cold,” you said. Zayne hummed.
“Good. Then we have a little more time.” Suddenly he had both hands on you, and you jumped up in a wave of surprise and panic as he started to tickle you.
“Hohohold on! Zahahayne!” You tried to make your escape, but he pulled you back. 
Zayne held you firmly against his chest, one arm wrapped around your back, his fingers sneaking under your arm from behind as his other hand clawed at your ribs and then quickly moved to your hips. You laughed against his chest, your cheeks flushing at the thought of someone hearing your laughter.
“Uhuhunfahahair! UHFAHAHAIR!” You cackle, trying to push him away, but it was useless, he had you trapped. “Why ahahare you tihihickling mehehe?!” 
Zayn chuckled, his chest rumbling against yours. “Well, you tickled me first, I guess I'm just returning the favor… you also took away my chocolate. That was mean, don't you think?”
You shook your head, shrieking and laughing as he tickled you mercilessly. How dare he?! He was the one who forgot but he still tickled you?! How was that fair? You wanted to ask him, but you were too busy laughing your head off and the only word that came out of your mouth was his name. 
“Yes, yes,” he said calmly as he lifted your arm a little so he could bury his hand properly under it. “I am right here. You don't need to call me anymore.”
You were blushing so much it felt like your cheeks were on fire. “Plehehease! Nohoho!” you whined tiredly when his fingers wouldn’t let you rest for one second.
“Why not?” Zayne asked, his voice soothing. You shut your eyes and squirmed in his tight embrace.
“It tihihickles,” you laughed, slowly losing strength in your voice and body to protest already. To think you stood the best chances against the strongest Wanderers, yet just a little bit of tickling from Zayne and there was nothing you could do.
“Good.” Zayne’s hand that was tickling your ribs had dropped further down and moved under your clothes where he rubbed your bare tummy lovingly. You couldn’t help but feel blessed and tortured at the same time, relaxing in his hold.
“Shall we have lunch then?” Zayne finally said, slowing down his tickle attack but not entirely stopping it yet. You nodded quickly.
“Y-yehehes,” you giggled. 
“What did you say?” Ah, he even returned your own teases to you, acting as if he didn’t hear it well. 
“Yes!” you squeaked and he chuckled, finally stopping his playful assault. You collapsed against him, breathing heavy and giggling softly. “You're s-soho mehean, Dr. Zayne,” you whined playfully, looking up at him with a little pout. “You truly don't deserve me, I'm too good for you.”
Zayne laughed softly and kissed your rosy cheek. “Yes, yes. I don't deserve you,” he said, rolling his eyes and kissing your forehead. 
“You don't deserve the other gift I have for you either,” you said nonchalantly, slowly moving away to take the lunchboxes out.
Zayn arched an eyebrow and he discreetly looked around, trying to find that other gift. You grinned. 
“Did I make our doctor feel a bit curious?” You teased, placing the lunchbox in front of Zayne, who blushed slightly at your words, but refused to say anything. “You truly don't deserve it, but…,” you said, grabbing your bag and pulling out the little box. “I hope you like this, Zayne.”
Zayne grabbed the box, but he didn't open it immediately. He stared at it, perhaps a little too shy and you smiled warmly. 
“Hey, it's okay, love” you said, placing a loving hand against his thigh. “You can open it. Don't worry about anything! You already gave me a beautiful gift.” He frowned and you playfully poked his ribs, making him gasp. “Your laugh and also your time.”
Zayne stared at you before chuckling softly. “You're so corny.” He opened the box, and he paused for a moment before taking out the pen.
“....That’s…” You hoped you weren’t making him feel burdened, so you quickly leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“Do you like it?” you asked. Zayne turned his head and smiled at you. Without answering, he pulled you closer and kissed your lips. Ah, so that was a big yes. You melted into the kiss and whined a little when he pulled apart. 
“I truly don't deserve you,” he said and you giggled, kissing his nose.
“Don't be silly,” you said, feeling your cheeks flushing. “Now, let's eat before our lunch really gets cold! I'm sure you'll love it. It's soooo healthy! It even has-
“Carrots…” 
“Hmm? Oh! I think that's m-mi-ahahaha! No! Nohoho! Wahahait!” 
You could barely get another word out as a very vengeful yet sweet and charming Doctor Zayne renewed his tickly revenge, and you couldn’t help but love him for it. Well… It was definitely a Valentine’s Day with remembering! 
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fadedmunson · 4 months
Text
rose blood | r. sanchez
pairings ; rick sanchez x gn!reader (no use of y/n)
summary ; MAJOR SPOILERS ending of 7x05 (unmortricken) when you try to be there for rick's numb state
genre ; insanely sad angst ;( bit of fluff at the end, established relationship (?) no labels on it but you're close
notes ; i've loved this show for quite so i'm quite surprised i haven't written for r&m sooner. use of curse words
wc ; 0.7k sooo pretty short
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"morty, you can’t come! evil morty, stay out of my way! gonna kill my nemesis! rick out!"
that's all you manage to hear as you get down to the basement a couple second too late.
you pause right as you opened the door to his lab.
"wait did rick say he was going after prime?" your eyes widen and you began to tense up at the thought of rick no longer thinking with his head.
you pause your thinking when you see two morty's, your morty and one with an eye-patch.
"-oh hey evil morty, didn't think i'd ever see you here." you simpered
his eyes narrowed, "trust me, theres alot i would've done to avoid being here in the first place."
"you’re an asshole." your morty grumbled
"well, yeah. I’m not “good” morty."
he opens a yellow portal to follow rick you assume.
"come or don’t. i don’t care."
you get snapped out of your haze
"actually, fuck this. if he wants to go out there and get himself killed he can be my guest." you quickly turn you head and leave the basement sublevel.
you're not his babysitter, but you're still a little worried for the old man. It's not everyday you finally find the person who killed your daughter and wife.
you quickly head up to his room and try to collect all of your thoughts
you begin pacing around the room as your heart rate picks up
rick found prime, morty and evil morty followed him, is evil morty going to kill prime or rick?, why is evil morty even there?, and is this all a trap?
to distract yourself, you take a nap on his bed cot to just put a pause on everything for now.
sure it's uncomfortable, but it'll do
your quick 30 minute napped turned into three hours and you wake up in a sweaty, thirsty daze.
you walk into the kitchen, greet beth and grab a bottle of water
you walk into the garage in time to see rick and morty just back from their battle
morty smiles and waves at you
"crazy fucking day today haha, jeez."
you gave him a light smile and ruffled his hair
once he was out of the room you got a good look at rick and your smile immediately dissipated.
he look disheveled, covered in a shit-ton of blood (a mixture of his and prime's) a broken nose, black eyes, and scratches littering his body
that didn't phase you, what did was the emotionless look on his face
he turned to you, but it didn't look like he was fully there.
"rick," your voice is tight
you don't even know how to articulate yourself, you've never seen him like this.
"that's a lot of blood." you awkwardly chuckle.
"yeah," his voice is toneless.
you quickly reach out to hold his hand, but the quick flinch withheld you.
"well, what are you gonna do now?"
he just looked up from the floor and shrugged his shoulders.
"i can stay, if you want."
he stays silent
you quickly move to sit on the floor against his counters and you pat the space next to you.
he moves to sit next to you and closes his eyes in the comfortable silence.
you move to rest your head in his chest and kiss the parts of his hand without any blood on them while intertwining them with yours.
"i'll stay right here with you, rick. you don't have to be alone."
you hear his body shake as he tries to quietly but violently cries into your hair.
you turn to hold him in your arms as you let the sobs turn into sniffles and then into stuttering breaths.
he grabs onto you like he'll lose you at any moment, and you kiss his tears away while whispering "we're okay," and "i'm not going anywhere."
"can we stay like this for a little?" he quietly rasped out
your mouth curved into a smile "of course, but after this we should get you cleaned up." you open your eyes to stroke his cheek and lock lips.
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jazminrhode1 · 7 months
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Hey! Just wanted to say 1. i love ur writing, it gives me so much comfort and happy chemicals :D and 2. could you do one with reader being besties with the triplets and if you want, just some ideas that popped in my head- chris being chaotic and shaking soda, opening it and getting in readers eye thus more chaos insuing and/or "tell me im pretty >:(" "you'e pretty fucking annoying". pls don't feel obligated to do so!! <3
You Don't Like Dr Pepper? Sturniolo Triplets x Reader One Shot
Summary: You join the triplets for a soda tasting video.
Word Count: 804 words
Author's note: I literally had no ideas for this one, I'm so sorry! I hope this is okay ❤️
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Chris was in a mood. It was 2am and you just wanted to go to bed. But, the boys were filming a video and they claimed that they needed your help.
“Today we’re going to see if we can tell which soda is which,” Nick started the video.
They had covered the cans in duct tape but, under the light, you could still see the colours coming through. Chris had initially thought it was a good idea but, his enthusiasm was waning.
“So we just drink it and say what we think it is?” you asked, less than interested.
“Yes,” Nick said with an eye roll, “this is what I told you Chris, no one wants to see us drink soda.”
You exchanged a look with Matt, he was trying his best not to laugh as he took a sip. “I think it’s Sprite,” Matt said. Nick was done.
“I told you before that there is no clear fucking liquid because that would defeat the fucking point. Do you ever fucking listen?” Nick screamed.
You took Matt by the shoulders and positioned him in front of you to hide yourself from Nick’s wrath. “I forgot,” Matt said as you stifled a laugh in his shoulder blade.
“I think it’s Coke,” Chris said. “I agree,” you replied.
Nick took the lead and placed the drinks by the labels on the table. He didn’t agree with half of the choices but, he wanted it to be over so, he didn’t contest.
Nick passed you one of the cans after he took as sip and said, “Tell me this isn’t Pepsi,”
You took a sip and ran to spit it out in the sink. “This is 100% Dr Pepper,” you said.
Nick’s clapped a hand over his mouth. He was being dramatic and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you not like Dr Pepper?” he asked.
“No,” you said - this was something he should know. Chris gasped, Matt’s mouth hung open. “How did you not know that?” you asked.
“You’re crazy,” Nick said as you rolled your eyes. “Are we going with Dr Pepper?” he asked his bothers.
Chris nodded, Matt shrugged. They were getting tired and their energy was fading.
As made your way through the drinks, convinced that they were all wrong, you prayed that the sugar would give you an ounce of energy but, it wasn’t working.
You looked over at Chris and he looked guilty. You didn’t know what he was about to pull out of his hat but, you didn’t want any part of it.
“Are we done?” you asked. Nick was looking around, you could see his temper rising. “Where the fuck is the last can?” he asked.
Chris put the can on the table and slid it over to Nick. “Final can,” he announced to the camera before he opened it. The contents shot out like a burst pipe. It was on the floor, on the ceiling, on the table, on the cabinets, on the walls and all over you.
“Chris!” Nick said. It was enough for Chris to take off running but, Nick grabbed the back of his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.
“Who gave him that?” you asked Nick and Matt. Matt was laughing, handing you a tea towel. Nick’s whacked Chris on the top of his head. “Don’t do shit like that,” he warned.
Chris couldn’t help but laugh. He was pretty fucking proud of himself until he saw Matt checking your eye.
His face dropped, “What happened?” “You got it in her eye, you dumb fucking bitch,” Matt said.
“It’s fine,” you assured Chris but, he felt guilty none the less.
“Are we done?” Nick asked. Before anyone could respond. “We’re done,” he decided.
He stalked around the table trying not to slip. “You look like shit,” Chris joked, nudging your arm.
“This is your fault,” you said, twisting the tea towel and whipping him with it. “Ouch!” he screeched.
You felt sticky and you felt gross. You just wanted to go home and get in the shower asap.
Chris stuck his tongue out jokingly and you pinched it between your fingers. “Hey,” Chris said, “let go.”
“Tell me I’m pretty,” you said jokingly, you could only picture how hideous you looked. You regretted it as soon as you said it. He was not in the mood to play nice, he was in the mood to act like a 5-year-old. His eyes widened with excitement as he took the bait.
“Pretty fucking annoying,” he said before you let go of his tongue and he burst into laughter. A cackle that was at times endearing but, at this moment, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
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kedreeva · 3 months
Note
as someone who is ace and entering college years, how has your dating life been as an ace? what other struggles have there been that you have advice for? i dont know any aces or similar around me older or otherwise. thank you for your time and i hope you have an easy day!
Okay this will get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut
Honestly I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I never really...struggled? Not specifically with asexuality or with anything related to it. I can tell you my experiences, though, and you can decide if there's anything worthwhile to take away from it!
I grew up in a house run by science and math. I knew the prefix a- meant without/not and I knew there was heterosexual and bisexual and homosexual, so when young and, importantly, before really ever interacting with other queer folk, I went Ah ha, these are (prefix)(sexual) and so therefore I am asexual (without sexuality), and that was that. That was literally all the thought I gave to it. People had crushes on other people, I didn't have crushes on people, end of story. If, for some reason, I developed a crush on someone, I would deal with it then.
Maybeeeee midway through HS, a very good friend of mine asked me about it, and I said well, some people like everyone the same, and I dislike everyone the same. And she said well, then it sounds like you like everyone the same, that amount is just zero, so that seems like bisexual? (she didn't know the term asexual was an actual sexuality term either at that point, just the biological term for reproduction and, well, I could reproduce theoretically so couldn't be that) And I said well, alright then, and called myself bisexual for the next 6 or 7 years. THEN I found out asexuality is a sexuality not just a mode of reproduction and I said Ah Ha, I was Correct, and that was that again.
So I guess if I was offering advice it would be... you know you. Don't let someone else tell you about you if you think they're wrong. Make up a word if there isn't one. Use a new word if you find one that already exists and fits.
Also, that it's fine to not worry about it. Literally it's fine to just never think about it if you have better things to do. I think a lot of people get really wrapped up in finding the right label and/or "what happens if-" when like... you're not a canned good. You don't need a label. Worry about what-ifs when they come up, don't borrow anxiety if you can help it.
I dated a few people in HS, like... three people I think, and one Almost. One predatory mistake I thankfully recognized (HEY because I had older folks online I could talk to about it!) and got out of quickly, and one hot mess relationship that was a LOT of fun- my boyfriend, Sark, and then his ex-girlfriend, and then I stepped out so they could get back together, and then they said wait no, and invited me back in, and that went on for most of the end of HS, and nearly into college, when I stepped out again (and peacefully, I am still friends with both of them and I married Sark in the end). There was one guy whom I was always, perpetually, extremely fond of, and we hung out a lot, kissed once, and I think we would have had a lot of fun dating, but ultimately it was a near miss that became a fond memory, because we were never in the right place together. Sometimes life does that, and that's okay, too.
In college, I simply didn't date anyone. I had better things to do. I met my best friend, @idkfandomwhatever, online that year (and still talk to her almost daily, sometimes for hours, despite that we are on opposite sides of the world!!), and in person @mishapeep who was the best roomie I ever had (hi!!!!! i love you!!!). I had great friends, I went on a TON of adventures, worked a cool job where I had awesome coworkers, and just all around had a blast learning stuff and napping in sunbeams or on couches at the food court. A couple of guys made passes, and I turned them down because I just wasn't into it, and we remained friends. There was one coworker at my dispatch job that I got along with like a house on fire, and everyone ELSE thought we should be dating, but neither of us ever brought it up- I can't say why he didn't for sure, but I know I never brought it up because I was 85% sure he didn't swing for the right team to date me, which I ALSO never brought up until he found me on facebook years later to tell me about his husband running for local election somewhere. so. again, don't let anyone else tell you what to do lol there was ALSO another guy that I had NO interest in that spent a lot of time around me, but we mostly sat in my bunk watching Queer as Folk, which I KNOW was his first exposure to queer material. I never talked about queer stuff with him otherwise, but I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he's also happily married to his husband. Sometimes just being yourself, openly and without shame about it, does more than you think, even if it's not doing anything directly for you (but it is, it's good for you too).
SINCE college ended, I dated one guy I met through an online game and that was great in person briefly, but ultimately didn't work out because he couldn't be a nice person, another guy I met through the same online game and that didn't work out at ALL in person, and then I started hanging out with Sark and co again. I was on the phone with him driving somewhere, and I said something to the effect of someday you're gonna find a gf and she's not gonna want you to keep going on adventures with your ex, and we won't be able to talk anymore and I had a real recordscratch moment where I realized absolutely NOT on MY watch, I wanted that boy in my life forever actually, and we've been married now for... this is year 8.
I may have landed in a soft place, but I didn't seek it out. I just lived my life and didn't worry about my sexuality or about who I was or wasn't gonna date. When I DID date, I was up front about what I wanted from any of those relationships and part of the problem with the relationships that didn't work out was sometimes that I did not KNOW what I wanted, yet. But, it was IMPORTANT I think, that I gave the chances I did, because I did learn about myself and what I wanted. That's probably the hardest fucking thing to learn, that relationships sometimes happen not because they're likely to be permanent, but because it may be fun or be a way to learn what you do or don't want. Maybe alongside of that, the lesson that it's okay to go "hm, actually this is Not For Me" and exit peacefully whenever possible. But it's okay to give temporary things a shot and see how it goes, even knowing up front it may be temporary (honestly maybe that even takes some of the stress of it off? if you don't have to worry about it being forever, and you don't have to worry about "what if I never experience other things," and you don't worry so much about messing it up so it feels easier to take chances saying and doing stuff you might otherwise consider too risky to ask for etc).
I'm aware I'm lucky that things went pretty smoothly for my entire life so far, insofar as dating or sexuality is concerned. Part of that was definitely because even the worst of the people I dated weren't really all that bad of people. A lot of it was that I just didn't date if I didn't want to. I didn't care about sex, so I didn't have sex for the first time until a few years after college, and only one guy ever pushed the issue at all (the guy in HS I immediately dropped all contact with).
The thing is... I dated or nearly dated like ten people, flirted with countless others (because it's FUN), and the only one I still have regular contact with (not just occasional friendly hellos) is the one I kept at the end.
But the friends I made in college? I kept a lot of those. I still talk to several of my college friends on a regular basis. I have made other friends since, some of whom I talk to every day, some of whom have become irregular contacts I am still fond of. But those bonds are important and the ones you make with your friends from here out do have the potential to span at least huge chunks of your life, if not the entirety of it. If you only take away one thing from this little novel...take that knowledge.
also this has nothing to do with asexuality but for pete's sake find SOME kind of hobby club to be a part of, or make one if there isn't one, follow your stupidest instincts for adventure on occasion (like playing freeze tag frisbee in a lightning storm on the PAC lawn at 11pm until the campus cops show up to make you go home), and take at least one "fuck it this sounds fun" class. Mine was archery at 7am, the only early-morning class I ever took. Worth it, we were all TERRIBLE but god it was awesome.
Good luck out there!
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makeitmingi · 17 days
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The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 31]
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Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy
Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)
Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho
Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?
Word count: 3.3K
"Great work tonight, everyone. Thank you." Yunho smiled, bowing his head to everyone. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho bowed back, grabbing their things and heading for the door.
"Coming?" Jongho asked.
"No, you guys go ahead. I'm going with Yunho tonight..." You rubbed the back of your neck. Seonghwa, who already knew this, just nodded his head. While Jongho and Wooyoung exchanged amused looks with raised eyebrows.
"Stop that. He's already nervous as is. And I'm no better. I don't want to add to that." You hissed at the two. Jongho chuckled and wrapped an arm around you, hugging you to his side.
"That overgrown puppy better not try anything with my precious jagi." Wooyoung cupped your cheeks.
"Relax." You rolled your eyes.
"We'll see you tomorrow then." Seonghwa smiled softly. You nodded and waved goodbye to them as they jumped into their cars to drive home. You stood outside for a while more.
"Hey, there you are." Yunho poked his head out, looking for you. You turned around.
"I'm almost done here. Then we can go back." He smiled as he straightened up, coming over to hug you to him.
"Take your time." You chuckled, reaching up to pat his head. The both of you entered the kitchen. While waiting for Yunho to clear up with the rest, you did some prep work for tomorrow. Nothing too complicated or things that would create a lot of cleaning up to do. You made the filling for the pastries and some toppings.
"Hey, (y/n). Do you need any help?" Hongjoong came in, having finished his tasks for the closing of the restaurant. You looked around at what you were doing.
"Could you help me bring these containers... and these... to the walk in?" You requested.
"Sure. Just these?" He checked. You nodded in confimation. Hongjoong moved the containers for you.
"Let me help you with that." Yeosang entered the kitchen, helping you dry the equipment that you were currently washing up so it wouldn't create too big a stack.
"Where should I put these?" He asked.
"The bowls go onto the shelf there and the spatulas go there in the corresponding holders. They're labelled. Everything else can stay on the counter to dry since we'll be using them tomorrow morning." You informed. Yeosang hummed and did as told.
"Hey, I'm done. Ready to go?" Yunho came in. You dried your hands and went to the locker room to hang your apron up. Coming out with your night bag, Yunho immediately grabbed it for you.
"Yunho, don't worry. I can manage." You said, wanting to take your bag back but he just held it away from you.
"Don't worry about it." He smiled. Mingi and San came to the back to grab their things too.
"Goodnight. See you tomorrow." You all exchanged goodbyes.
"Goodnight, (y/n). Sleep tight." Mingi and San, to tease Yunho, encased you in a group hug, making you stand in the middle of them. You burst out laughing, wrapping one arm around each of them.
"Thank you. Goodnight, see you tomorrow." You smiled. Yunho looked like he was going to explode, his eyes twitching.
"Yah, yah. That's enough." He yanked you away from the two, pushing you behind him protectively. He glared at his friends for doing that deliberately. With one final wave, Yunho escorted you to his car, opening the passenger door for you to enter first before putting your bag in the back seat.
"Are you hungry? We can get some supper before heading back." Yunho offered.
"I'm not. But if you are, I don't mind stopping somewhere to get food. Or I can cook something for you if you get hungry, I don't mind." You chuckled, shrugging.
"Oh, here's the thing. I would love that... But my house is pretty much a void of fresh food..." He said in embarrassment.
"Yunho!" You laughed in disbelief.
"What? You know I don't cook. Plus, I have a girlfriend that's a chef. There is literally no need for me to cook." He scoffed. You pursed your lips, finding yourself a mush at Yunho calling you his 'girlfriend'.
"And it's not that bad. I have snacks and ramyeon." He defended, making you giggle.
"Alright, let's just go back then." You said. Yunho hummed, hand coming over to hold yours, keeping only one hand on the steering wheel. Yunho let out an internal sigh of relief, feeling you lace your fingers with his.
"Here we are." After Yunho pulled up in a parking space, he grabbed your bag and led you upstairs to his house. You removed your shoes at the entrace way before following him in.
"It's not much but... it's home." Yunho gave a crooked smile rubbing the back of his neck. He spent the entirety of last night cleaning.
"Thank you." You smiled, looking around.
"I'll put your bag in my room. Feel free to look around, make yourself comfortable. Help yourself to whatever." He told you and disappeared down the hall.
The apartment was simple yet modern. The couch was tucked in the corner, behind it was a floor to ceiling window. There were two rooms, one bedroom and one room that looked an office.
"Is this where you game?" You asked, noticing the gaming set up he had in the office.
"Yeah but there's pull out bed. My parents sleep there when they come over. Or Gunho..." He informed. You nodded with a hum and walked into Yunho's bedroom. It was like yours, a little plain. There was a bath towel, face towel and spare toothbrush sitting on the bed, having been set out by Yunho.
"These are for you to use. Let me know if you need anything." He picked the items up and held them out to you. You tucked them to your chest, going to your bed to get some clothes to wear to sleep.
"You use the bathroom here. I'll use the outside one." Yunho smiled.
"No, Yunho. It's okay, it's your bathroom. I'll use the spare one." You chuckled. He shook his head in denial.
"No, I insist." Before you could protest further, he ran away while cackling, leaving you standing there in the middle of his bedroom.
"Yunho..." You shook your head and went to take a shower. As you stood in the bathroom, you smiled to yourself. The towels smelt like Yunho and now, you did too, after using his soap.
"You're crazy." You scolded yourself. You gathered your dirty clothes and exited the bathroom.
Yunho came out from the bathroom at the same time. He looked good, dressed more homey, his hair ruffled and slightly damp from washing. His big grin made he look even more handsome and your heart soar.
"Was your shower good?" He asked, tilting his head. You nodded your head and Yunho came to hug you, tucking you to his side. He leaned down to kiss the top of your head.
Yunho prayed you couldn't hear his heart racing. Now, you were in his home, staying over. And you smelt like him!
"I can see your imaginary tail wagging." You teased him, jabbing his side.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He whined as he squirmed away, ticklish from your jabbing. You laughed and went to the living room with him trailing behind you.
"Where's your dirty clothes? We can throw them in the wash. Should be done by tomorrow." Yunho asked.
"It's fine. I'll just bring them back to mine to wash." You shrugged.
"But the cooking smell will linger and become stale." He reasoned. Alright, you agreed with that. You followed him to the washing area and threw your clothes into the washing machine. After putting in the soap and starting the wash cycle, all that was left to do was wait. Yunho turned to you with a mischievous grin.
"Yunho!" You squealed as he suddenly lifted you up, hugging you. He laughed at your frightened outburst.
"Let me go! Put me down!" You hit his shoulder. Yunho giggled and placed you down on the counter so you were eye to eye with him. His hands planted on either side of your body, trapping you.
"Don't do that, you scared me." You scolded. He smiled, meeting your eyes. Your hands came up to cup his cheeks.
"I'm really glad you're here, (y/n)." He said honestly, gaze becoming soft.
"Yunho..." You smiled softly. Your arms wound around his neck, hugging him. You felt one of his hands come up to hold your waist as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck.
After you and Yunho moved to the bedroom, you sat together and just talked. Although, while you were talking, you noticed Yunho just staring at you with a dreamy look on his face. You stopped talking and laughed at his expression.
"Are you okay?" You giggled. Yunho groaned and leaned forward, burying his face against your chest in embarrassment. You held his head, laughing at him.
"Don't laugh at me." He whined.
"Why? You just looked so cute while you were spacing out." One hand coming to stroke the back of his head.
"I just can't believe you're here." He murmured. You smiled softly, you felt the same. This feeling you had when you were with Yunho, you've never felt anything like this before.
"Stop hiding already." You laughed, gently grasping the back of his collar to pull him away.
"No!" He protested, grasping your hips and knocking you down instead. You laughed as Yunho laid his head on your chest.
"We can't sleep like this." You scoffed.
"Why not? I'm perfectly comfortably." His arms wounds themselves around your waist, effectively caging you in Yunho's embrace. You felt your cheeks heat up as you rolled your eyes. You sighed in defeat, one arm slinging over his shoulders and the other dress playing with the ends of his hair.
"Fine. If you have a bad back tomorrow, don't blame it on me." You sighed. Yunho nodded his head, even if he did have a bad back tomorrow, no way would be regret it.
"Yunho... I know I already said this but I'm happy you got to meet uncle Junghyun despite everything... " You said.
"Thank you for letting me meet him. And for telling me more about him." He replied.
"I'm trying... to open up more. I want to tell you... it's just..."
"Shh, it's okay. I understand. You don't have to rush into it, I'll always be here when you're ready to tell me." He promised you, squeezing your waist reassuringly.
"I can barely cope with it myself, after so many years. I don't even know where to start, everything in my head is just a mess. I've always been scared of letting people into my world." You sighed.
"It's okay to be scared. I know that some wounds just never close, but it's not your fault, (y/n). Just know that you are not alone."
Feeling your breathing even out, Yunho lifted his head to see you fast asleep. When he heard the washing machine beep outside, he reluctantly wiggled out of your hold and went out to move the clothes into the dryer.
"Done." He smiled and turned off the lights, hurrying to the room to be by your side again.
"Goodnight, love." Yunho gently lifted you over his arm so you were safely tucked to his side. He smiled down at you.
Planting a soft kiss to your forehead, Yunho closed his eyes and joined you in dreamland, hoping that you and him could just stay there forever.
-
You woke up first, hoping to leave before Yunho woke up since you were meant to clock in earlier. However, when you came out of the bathroom, you saw him sitting on the bed, looking lost.
"Oh... There you are..." He smiled sleepily when he saw you, his voice deep and sleep ridden.
"I hope I didn't wake you up. Go back to sleep. I'll see you at the restaurant later when you clock in." You chuckled, coming over to hug him. He wrapped his arms around you, burying his face against your abdomen. Your fingers carded through his slightly tangled hair. He mumbled something.
"What? I can't hear you." You giggled.
"You didn't wake me up and I don't want to go back to sleep. I'll clock in with you. There's no way I'm going to let you leave without me." He repeated, looking up at you.
"Yunho... The whole reason why you clock in later is because you stay later to help the others with the clean up." You sighed.
"I know but I told them I'm bringing you on a date so I'll clock in with you and do the work first." He reasoned.
"The boys are not gonna like this."
"Please, they're fine with it. If it makes you feel better, I promise it won't happen often." He gave you his puppy eyes and pout, which didn't even match his deep voice.
"Alright. I'll go out and wait." You patted his back. Yunho nodded and crawled out of bed, going to the bathroom to wash up.
While Yunho was in the bathroom getting ready, you tidied up the bed, arranging the blankets and the pillows. Then you sent Seonghwa a message to let him know that you were fine and that nothing happened in the night.
"I'll make us some coffee?" Yunho offered. You hummed and followed him out to the front. It was cute that despite not using his kitchen, Yunho had a small coffee set up.
"Welcome to Yunho's cafe!" He grinned. You smiled seeing how enthusiastic he was.
"May I have a large iced americano to go, please?" You ordered.
"Certainly! Coming right up." Yunho began making the coffee. You watched as he made the coffee for you, a little frown of concentration on his face.
"Iced americano!" He yelled out, as if you were not just in front of him. You winced, covering your ears at his volume.
"Thank you." You smiled.
"On the house, for the prettiest girl ever." Yunho winked and held the cup out to you. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, looking away as you grew shy at his compliment. Yunho chuckled at your reaction before beginning to make his own coffee. You stayed with him, sipping your coffee as you accompanied him.
"We should go before we're late." You said, checking your watch. You never liked being late to work. Grabbing your stuff, you and Yunho left his house to report for work.
"Should I be worried that you're driving one handed?" You chuckled as one of Yunho's hands came to hold yours.
"I would never knowingly put you in any danger, (y/n)." He scoffed. You couldn't help but laugh.
"If you say so." You shrugged, teasing him. He was about to protest but he felt your hand still hold his, with no sign of letting go any time soon. He smiled happily, giving your hand a loving squeeze.
"I can't wait for our date later." Yunho smiled. You nodded in agreement, you enjoyed your dates with Yunho.
"And there she is." Wooyoung smirked as you pulled up, giving you a small wave.
"You're alive." Jongho chuckled as you came out of Yunho's car. You rolled your eyes, slinging an arm around him.
"You're just as bad as Hwa." You scoffed. Jongho really cared for you, he just never showed it or expressed it like Seonghwa and Wooyoung did. But you know he cares. They all did, that's why they are your chosen family.
"Hey." Seonghwa knocked the back of your head and clicked of his tongue. Yunho bowed his head to greet everyone as he opened the door to the kitchen.
"Alright, let's get started." You said, putting your hair up into a bun and tying your apron on before washing your hands.
"I'm going to get started on the Paris-Brest (ring of choux pastry with praline cream filling topped with flaked almonds and icing sugar)." You announced to them, reading off your list for the day.
"Are we doing big quiche or mini quiches?" You asked.
"If we're doing shredded duck and with the fennel then I think let's do a big one." Wooyoung suggested.
"Starting on that. I'll do a thyme embedded crust." Seonghwa raised his hand.
"Next, there is a mixed berry lemon muffin with crumble topping. Who is taking that?" You turned to the rest. Wooyoung raised his hand to take the item. That left Jongho with the fluffy Japanese cheesecake, which he had experience making those before to the perfect consistency.
"Whoever is done will do the Ispahan cake (French raspberry, rose and lychee cake) and the Basbousa (Egyptian semolina cake with coconut orange syrup)." You informed.
"Can I help?" Yunho came up to you as enthusiastic as ever.
"Not me, Yun. Maybe the others might need help." You chuckled, turning back to your choux dough.
"Y-Yun?" Yunho's eyes widened, growing flustered at the sudden nickname you threw out there. You turned to him, raising a questioning eyebrow.
"N-Nothing! Nevermind... S-Seonghwa hyung! Let me help you!" Yunho ran over to where Seonghwa was at the stove.
Although, somewhere along the way, Yunho found himself back by your side, helping you with even the smallest of tasks. He liked helping you and appreciated that you were willing to teach him.
"Oww!" Yunho suddenly jumped, making you jump as well. He stuck his finger into his mouth while you stomped over with a frown. Grasping his wrist, you took his hand to see what had happened. You saw the blood ooze out the side of his finger.
"Yunho is off knife duty. Now you, come with me." You mumbled, dragging him along with you after addressing the rest.
"I'm fine, (y/n). It's just a cut." He sighed as you sat him down in the locker room, going to retrieve the first aid kit in the corner. You didn't reply him.
"Are you mad?" He asked sadly.
"I'm going to stop the bleeding first." You said, not answering his question. You held a small piece of gauze to the wound.
"Okay, now stay still. This is going to sting a little but I need to disinfect the cut." You warned him. Yunho didn't say a word, wanting to let you finish dressing his wound.
"Ahhh... That hurt..." He winced, kicking his feet as you sprayed the disinfectant over the cut. There was a childlike pout on his face. But Yunho opened his eyes when he saw you gently blowing over the wound. There was a worried frown on your face, an expression Yunho had not seen before.
"(y/n), please don't be mad." Yunho said, his free hand curling around your waist as your hands busied to wrap his finger up.
"I'm not mad at you. I just don't like seeing you hurt... Our professional knives are sharper than the regular home kitchen knives. I should have warned you." You shook your head.
"Hey, don't blame yourself either. I'm the one who wasn't paying attention and got hurt cutting raspberries." He cupped your cheek.
"You're banned from using knives without supervision from now on." You frowned.
"Nooooo, please. I have made it so far in doing kitchen things without supervision. If I can't even use a knife on my own, I'm as good as useless." He whined.
"You can go back to weighing ingredients." A small smile finally appeared on your face as you patted his head.
"That's so boring!" He groaned, pressing his forehead against your stomach. You scoffed and shook your head but couldn't help laugh at how silly Yunho was being. As long as he was around you, you would never find him useless.
~
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