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irarelypostanything · 7 years

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The Harvard Homewrecker (Full Text)

Sometimes, two people stay together simply because they don’t remember what it feels like to be alone.

Sometimes, two people stay together for a more meaningful reason.

Other times, one of them meets Tony.

Part I

The day he attended his first meeting, Tedmund decided to run for office. I can’t remember what club this was, so I’m just going to say it was Key Club.

He was already a second year in high school. He worried that his youth was slipping away, and it was time he involved himself in school activities. The president greeted him at the door and said they were electing new officers.

“The president is probably going to be me again,” said the president, and he wasn’t lying. He was a pretty competent president. “The other positions are pretty competitive, but no one is running for secretary.”

“Oh,” said Tedmund. All of the names in this story are from a random generator, in case anyone was wondering.

“You should run.”

“This...this is literally my first day.”

“Okay.” The president shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t have the balls for it...”

10 minutes later

“My name is Tedmund,” he announced from the podium, “and I am proud to be running for secretary.” Only a few people recognized him from class, but everyone applauded on account of his carefree speaking.

“I have been observing this club,” he said, pausing to look at the president’s logo, “which is Key Club, and it can definitely be improved.” He saw a few people frown, but now everyone was listening intently. “I will bring,” he glanced at the president, who mouthed the words community service, “I will bring more community service projects. And I’m going to take notes really well. And it’s going to be great.” Everyone cheered.

He won, of course. No one was running against him.

The VP was named Candy, and the two really hit it off. They didn’t mind staying late after school to make posters together, or to email coordinators together. For Tedmund, Candy was a great friend with whom he could get through the tedium of officer duties. For Candy, Tedmund was something more.

Their AP Psych teacher noticed the chemistry and paired them up during the Relationships unit, as well as the Human Development unit. Their chemistry teacher noticed it as well, but didn’t give AF.

Several months went by like this, but this was Tedmund. He knew so many girls who were in love with him that he dismissed flirting as normal behavior.

She called him eventually, late in the night, when the only light came from his TV screen and the only sounds were the gunshots from Halo.

“Tedmund,” she said, “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” He couldn’t hit pause; it was multiplayer.

“Yes, I...I forgot.”

“Okay.”

She didn’t say much to him again for an agonizing month, when she could no longer resist the urge to call him again.

“Hi Tedmund,” she said, “how are you?”

“Good,” he said. “I just had dinner.”

“How was it?”

He spent the next ten minutes describing to her, in detail, what he had eaten and how delicious it was.

“Tedmund,” she said, “I love you.”

“So do I,” said Tedmund. The news was even better than his dinner.

They became a couple. They spent as much time as they could together. Everyone who knew them thought of them together, and the blissful weeks passed effortlessly as they filled their time in love and with the ridiculous number of AP classes Washington High people took.

And then, out of nowhere, she saw Tony at a track meet. He didn’t notice her, but she noticed him. He finished first, and she noticed that he didn’t sweat. He glistened.

He wasn’t just hot. He seemed to radiate hotness.

******

Part II

One of the events in this story never actually happened, but I’m not going to say which.

There were many dorms at UC Davis, but it was universally known that Miller was the best. This is undisputed. Miller had the fastest wi-fi connection, a kitchen on every floor, and a $10,000 grand piano that made the one at Thompson look like a garage sale giveaway. ATM was the best part of Segundo, but Segundo was known for having Miller. Tercero couldn’t compete, even with upgrades, and Cuarto looked like a glorified three-and-a-half star motel next to Miller.

Of course, these two were at Miller after 2012, so I don’t know much about the other people who were there.

His name was Rick, your typical run-of-the-mill attractive intelligent charismatic Regents Scholar video game champion in his first year of college. Jessica was all of these things, minus the video games.

Like most of the people in Miller, Rick and Jessica lived together and took a class together. The class had 23 people, and only one guy. Guess who the guy was?

If you don’t know how UHP worked, here’s a 25-second tutorial: Everyone signed up for small classes; some were easy, and some were not-so-easy. The ones who took the easy classes were happy (I guess), and the ones who took the not-so-easy classes complained about it on the ISHP Facebook page. By the laws of karma, the people who took the easy ones their first quarter just so happened to choose the not-so-easy ones in their second quarter.

The two clicked really well, especially since both of them joined a college club together. I’m just going to call it CKI because I’ve dropped so many meaningless abbreviations that I kind of stopped caring.

Is there really any more to it than that? If there is, I don’t know the details. They were up until sunrise together, just the two of them...talking. One night, she asked if they could play Hot Seat.

He calmly said yes, but fireworks were going off in his head.

She was up first. “If we knew each other a year ago,” he said, trying to be as subtle and indirect as possible, “do you think we would have dated?”

She nodded.

Shortly after, they started dating.

And that wraps it up. They were a perfect couple.

That’s it. End of story.

Oh wait…

Jessica found herself alone in San Francisco one weekend, because that’s what people in Davis do when they’re bored. They spend an hour driving to a city that everyone hates driving in. But her car was still in the shop this time, and Jessica took the shuttle.

Jessica sprinted for the bus, and the driver saw her, but it was Muni. Obviously, he didn’t stop.

“No...” she said. It was Muni, so the next bus wasn’t going to come for an hour. By the time she made it to Berkeley her shuttle would be gone, and she’d have to spend the night there.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tony. He had just flown in from the East Coast, and he had just finished visiting his peasant friends from high school. How he became rich is explained in parts III and IV.

“I missed my bus,” she said.

“Would you like a ride?” he asked. She looked at him closely. He was in a designer jacket, wore designer pants, and next to him was a red 488 GTB Ferrari.

“In that?” she asked, making eye contact with his beautiful car.

“No, I was just taking that to my lift.” He pointed to a building nearby, a gorgeous piece of massive glass with a helicopter to top it off.

“Do you own that helicopter?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said, and smiled. “Why else would I have paid to put a helipad on my building?”

*****

In a relationship, whoever is more in love will always be at a disadvantage.

Unless you’re not competing, or you don’t try to measure it, or...I don’t know...you’re in a relationship with pizza.

I just wrote that first sentence to get your attention.

Part III

This story begins with a guy making someone a sandwich.

Jake was an athletic, heavily involved high school student whom everyone was cool with, except Mr. B. He also put a lot of effort into his sandwiches. This sandwich was an hour-long project: The bread was lightly toasted, there was just the right amount of peanut butter and jelly, and the way he presented it was like something you would see on the Food Network.

I had to learn piano to get a high school girlfriend. Stanley had to master multivariable Calculus. David had to win a track medal, star in a summer performance, become the #7 Tetris player in North America and maintain a non-weighted 4.0. For Jake, the deal-maker was a sandwich.

Jake and Crystal joined dragon boat around the same time. For anyone wondering, dragon boat is a form of competitive water racing that dates back to ancient times, when warring Chinese factions jostled for control of the seven kingdoms. After many generations, a general known as the Mother of Dragons made a surprise attack from the sea and finally ended the war.

The sandwich came shortly after.

We all took a trip to Long Beach—a beautiful, ridiculously over-the-top party town where people drank, danced, and paddled like there was no tomorrow. We were in high school, so the only thing we participated in was the paddling.

After our first round of races, I ate dinner with the team, crawled into my hotel room, and knocked TF out. When I woke up, Jake and Crystal were out.

“I’m not good enough for you,” Jake had said the previous night, as they sat at the nearby beach and pretended to look at the water. They had been dating for over half a page now.

“Why do you say that?” she asked, in a voice that was always calm and mellow because that’s what Crystal’s voice is like.

“You’re smart, and you’re beautiful, and if you weren’t with me then you could find someone else.”

They talked until the light came back. In the afternoon, when one of us finally asked, they were still together. Maybe it was conversations like those that made their relationship stronger.

We all stayed in the team and paddled a lot.

JUST KIDDING. Most people didn’t stay in the team. Those of us who did, paddled a lot.

We talked between laps.

“I can’t get pho with you guys,” said Tony one day.

“Traitor,” I said.

“Well, I’m applying for the Gates Millennium Scholarship. I don’t think I have a chance...the probability of winning that is lower than the probability of getting into Harvard.”

“You know what would be awesome? If you got into Harvard AND got the Gates Millennium Scholarship.”

With that, Tony burst out laughing.

20,000 strokes later:

“I think I’m going to go to Davis now,” I said.

“Just like that?” asked Stanley. “You’ve changed your mind this easily?”

“The froyo was really good.”

A few months and many, many strokes later:

“I think I’m going to stay in the city,” said Jake.

“I’m not,” said Crystal.

…..

….

It’s been years.

A few weeks ago, living alone at my apartment in an unheard-of town, I got really bored and wrote this. Not bored like...not enough time. It’s a different kind of boredom.

As I wrote, Jake was at his own apartment. He never left the city. On his desk, he looked at a picture of Crystal, had a brief flashback, and then tucked it away in a drawer. On full display was a picture of his current girlfriend.

Crystal wistfully looked out her window. Her current boyfriend was sleeping next to her, and southern California was shining out in the distance.

Unable to sleep, she tiptoed out of bed, made her way to the kitchen, and spent an hour preparing herself a fancy PBJ sandwich. The sandwich made her happy again, and she gingerly went back to bed.

She quickly fell asleep.

*****

For our high school graduation, the valedictorian reminded us that everyone would eventually be dead. He talked a lot about human hatred, and disease, and nuclear war. The rest of the speech was optimistic, but all anyone remembered were those first few sentences.

Then our high school salutatorian spoke. “I’m going to talk about love,” he said, “and cures for diseases, and...the opposite of everything else Jon spoke about. By the way, my name is Jon. Both of us are named Jon.” The second Jon’s speech was met with rounds of applause that continually increased in both volume and duration.

After his salutatorian speech, Jon (again, the second one) was required to present the CSF trophy to the member with the highest GPA. Tony won it. I can’t remember the explanation.

There were graduations everywhere that day. I don’t even remember all the things that happened. Aaron presented a senior video, and Katherine won one of the highest honors, and then Emma and Alonzo and Colin won numerous scholarships. And somewhere, just a few miles out of San Francisco, Zach almost met his future wife.

Part IV

“Do you feel like time is moving really quickly?” I asked Tony one day, a little after our college graduation.

“What do you mean?” asked Tony. “Time has always been moving at a constant speed.”

“That’s not what I mean.” “Oh, that’s right. According to Einstein-”

“What I mean is that life events are happening really quickly. My coworker just bought a house. Someone brought up marriage the other day when talking about her boyfriend.”

“Well, we are at that age.”

“Are we, though?”

Rena, David and I went right into the workforce. Most of the people I knew from Davis either stayed for grad school, or applied to various medical school programs. In my first month of work, they asked me to help hire the next round of people. That they asked me to play any part in this was beyond crazy.

“So after my senior design project helped cure Type 2 Diabetes,” said Zach, “I decided to direct my talents into another side-project. It was like Google, for porn.”

“That second thing is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard,” I said. “I have never visited a porn site, but I can only imagine the potential. Now, on an unrelated note...how do you feel about loyalty?”

“I don’t believe in it, period. You do your job, and if you don’t do a good one then you step aside. The lack of loyalty cuts both ways - if a job doesn’t satisfy you, you quit.”

“That’s the realest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say,” I said. “The other responses people gave me were so full of shit. I’m going to recommend that they hire you immediately.”

A few months passed. If it sounds like I’m rushing, it’s because that’s what it really felt like. Tony joined a start-up, and the boss was such a dick that Tony started his own company and bought out his boss’. All of this was just to fire him. That’s how much of a dick he was.

Zach’s talents were quickly recognized by everyone except his manager. He also bought a house. He was also accepted into grad school. Then, out of nowhere, his girlfriend called him.

“Remember that time we had unprotected sex?” she asked.

“Which time?”

“I don’t know, but I’m pregnant.”

“Shit.”

And just like that, a year passed.

I still had the same coffee mug, and I still drank the same flavor of beer at the same bar, and I still lived exactly where I was before. Also, I still didn’t get pointers at all. Seg faults were my life.

“How was your wedding?” I asked Zach once, out of the blue. Last I checked, he had proposed.

“What wedding?” he asked.

“Um...how’s the baby?” I asked, as if that were a logical transition from my last question.

“I told you,” he said. “She lost it.”

“Is that why you didn’t marry her?” I asked.

“I mean, that’s not the reason we’re not together anymore. A lot of things have happened.”

“You don’t say.”

Zach quit later, but not...immediately after. I don’t know how to make time go slower. I don’t even know at this point how much time had passed.

He wrote me a letter. All it said was You can stay there if you want, Evan, but I don’t recommend it. You’re in the kind of city that people leave.

I don’t know what happens to everyone in the story after that, because now we’re all caught up with the present.

#short story #fiction #prose

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ticojon-blog · 4 years

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Personal Draft #1

As a young child I always checked and was very observant to things around me but also around the area. At a young age, I began noticing many differences between my town but also how we would be treated different. In a small town located in Morris County Dover stands out quite a lot. Just a few names the towns adjacent love to call us include “ Dover ricans” , “ Dover Central” and the worse one of them all “spics”. Why? Well by now the picture should already have been painted and displayed. Dover is a small town mainly populated by spanish and Latino people. Colombians, Mexicans, Hondurians and Peruvians are just a few of the countries of which whom people have came from. All in pursue for the American Dream. For those who might not be aware the American Dream it is as followed. Basically any person not in the US willing to come here will do anything to move away from whatever situation one might be facing back at home. This can include corruption, violence and many other scenarios that arent the best. The right way to chase this dream is technically applying for Visa and waiting for the state to approve or decline but borders and sometimes even declined Visas lead people to do whatever it takes to get away from their country. On the other hand to be exact, the amount of people according to the Census was last taken to be a total of 18,257 people. You can imagine how residences feel being called all these names. Now despite what other towns have to say, as a community we stand together and understand who we are and personally Dover has shaped me into the person I have become today, it has helped me when I look ahead of time and bring this strong connection just being from Dover.

To begin, lets take it back a few years back to 1999. A couple in love partially in their 20s decided to make the move across the country and settle down in Jersey. From beaches and sunshine in tropical Costa Rica to rain and snow at the garden state. They felt comfortable in this town called Dover where old friends and family all either moved or lived forming a close relationship. All they were aiming for was to give their children a better experience then the one back at home filled with corruption and violence. Whats a disadvantage of living in such a small town? How close your parents become with other parents and before you know it someone knows every single detail of you. Anyways, later that year a beautiful seed was born and I came out ready and hungry to succeed in this harsh world remembering and treasuring what they had to do to get to this moment. Now leaving a country where you know like the back of your hand is completely difficult especially when now your new thought process becomes completely different. One obvious situation was not knowing the language.How will i say what I want and what I don’t? As the years progressed little changed but the desire to do anything to see their son have what they hadn’t even imagined. Dover isn’t just home to me its basically home to my loving parents as well. To me being from this town makes me proud and i always wear it with pride and excitment. Now in college I understand how my parents have given me everything especially their support and yes theres no price tag for that. Im glad my parents were able to settle in this community. All those years of staying up late for test worked out but most importantly how I feel about this home connection transfers to Cent just because iI feel what my community has managed to shown me to be.

In Addition, Dover has a distinguished trait most towns around the area don’t. That includes bonding with everyone and everybody. . In every corner despite not knowing someone we all get along. Dover is a composed of such a tiny amount of people inn areas related, as to why everyones parents came here for the same reason. You might not know someone but that doesn’t mean absolutely nothing. In every corner you’ll see small talk and smiles on faces. The smallest of interactions brings the community so close. This bond cannot be broken. Everyone eventually ends up at the high school and you might not talk to someone but they definitely know someone from your family or a friend in common. My whole educational career through Dover I shared friendships literally meeting someone because of someone we were friends with that’s how small the town was and still is. During spirit weeks at the high school we would all participate and interact with different grades we might not usually hang with.Students would also always volunteer for special olympics giving many of us interactions with students you might not normally have in a classroom. School was actually fun. We didn’t have to worry about being picked on for not knowing an answer or for asking a dumb question. At the end of the day, we all knew we were here to get out of this small town. To give back to our parents for ditching everything they had back at home.Being part of something so compact and close was special in a unique perspective. The school didnt have clicks that would bother people. We all might hang out with a certain click but being in another had no issues with anyone. Everyone knew what was up and how we were free from high school drama even if the “drama” was necessarily in a classroom In my opinion, nobody was left alone in school we all had an understanding of what it was to wear orange and black. When out downtown at coffee shops and restaurants everyone chats up a storm on literally any topic. Students formed bonds with absolutely anyone even the janitor. Our janitor was such a moving person day by day one needed his wise words .unfortunately, the day of his death everyone cried and attended his funeral but what he meant to us will forever be in our hearts.. Last nights game, the community gatherings and even on someones look people are so friendly and heartwarming you cant find that at least not around my surrounding areas. The community believes we are all equal. Some of us might not have the best cars,clothes or even house but we put that aside and care about whats inside. Thats what truly makes me proud to let someone know I am from Dover.

Moreover, despite enjoying the bond we all had most towns around us didn’t like this bond. At sporting events some refs made it aware they disliked this Latino based town.Filling me up with nothing but fuming flames ready to pop. Many racist chants as well as saying from the other teams were usually being said to us 99% of the game. Especially, if we were dominating the game. For example, as part of the soccer team many times I myself would be called “spic” “immigrant” and a “wetback” all false but what can you say when an all Latino team is beating you 4-0 for a county game. I never imagined to be facing something like racist chants, I always believed it was a black vs white debate. I was wrong . Racism was a big part in my high school not inside but when telling people where I was from or arriving to an opposing teams home field and realizing they were playing Dover. My senior year at a basketball game away racist chants were burst out by the opposing team and nothing was done about it. An apology at the end of the day is meaningless at this point in our life. 2019 and we forget how far we have come. Comments stand no where near the reactions of strangers outside of town when you would tell them where you were from. For some reason many Americans believe every Latino is a criminal and want nothing to do with life. Stereotypical comments. I have heard them all. Outsiders also tend to believe being hispanic means you’re most likely from Mexico. So a Dover resident might be asked.’Hey are you Mexican?” And if you are the stereotypical response is to shrug the shoulder and stay quiet. Let me assure you what being hispanic means. Hispanic means you come from either Central or South America. Not Mexico. Good people do exist and in Dover nothing is different. Take me for example. A smart kid focused on school and soccer and from time to time a girl might catch my attention. Whenever I end up with someone of class or with a degree and a conversation is started everything is smooth. Everything until the moment when you get asked “where are you from?” I have had people ask me if Dover is the hood and if I’m a dealer. No. I am not the stereotypical person. The stereotypes about Latinos had to end. Outsiders have casted this spell were Dover from the outside is in reality seen like a hood. Seen as a horrible place to live and if you ask me the percentage of Americans I really have no clue as there might be at least 5 in the whole high school not including people of color, asians etc. One of the reasons for being so confident and passionate about where I’m from is because I know the truth. I know what every single kid in Dover wants to do. As I’ve said before just to make their parents proud but also move away from this toxic energy around it.

In conclusion, my community has in a way shaped me into the person I have become today. From greating everyone and being polite in which i have been taught to do. My community has also taught me to be yourself, Put yourself out there and dont be afraid of what anyone says. Have you ever heard the phrases, “Do you” and “Be yourself” Ignoring the toxic waste that people want to make you believe just to bring you down and never get anywhere. Those racist chants said to us at our soccer games are all obnoxious and annoying but to me they are said to bring me down. If they hate you, it might be because you are killing it and doing a fantastic job at whatever you set your mind to do. To me orange and black are colors that bring creativity and success into the picture. Dover has made me be strong for my family. Everyone in town relates to me and being able to represent where you have came from is a huge honor. When i see a family of hispanics I imagine the hard work and hours the parents put in just to bring food onto the table. In todays world many of them might not have any family nor free time to rest. Latino people are not criminals. We are hard workers who want the best for the people we love. Despite our circumstances we all manage to be united and block all the nonsense heard in todays world. Being from Dover makes me feel like i had something other schools and towns dont and its the connection with one another. I cant imagine how i would struggle making friends at other schools if i werent to have gone to Dover. I always think about where im from and represent when committing or setting myself up for whatever in plan, good or bad. Known as a negative community i always put into perspective the good comments after I accomplish something. In my perspective, i always give it my all and if i get asked where im from and i know ill receive a weird smirk I smile and let them know Dover is a beautiful town filled with bright people who want the same as you and I. I hold my head up high and appreciate my community. Attending town functions and town ahll meetings are just a few ways I tend to help my town grow and have a better name for itself.

#1ICEIimmigrationnohuman is illegal

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