#DO U HATE ME YET

[parallelpie]

First off this absolutely cursed AU was inspired by Lemonomelette and a post they made -X Secondly I imagine it all being about bots and cons trying to one up each others factions and not actually helping in any serious way because their too busy with their own faction bs.

Think of two rival car dealerships across the street one upping each other to get business and instead of business with cars its interstellar robot fairys trying to woo sm children to let them grant their inconsequential wishes (which may or may not be worth it) instead of the other guy next door.

#this whole thing is so stupid and im so sorry but holymoly i got a brain worm and it just went feed me with this bs #also that first image is more of riffing off of lemons's original post than anything to do with this au in general #cus mega and op would be their faction leads- #i just liked the original idea of starscream being a shit angel or fairy in this case on his shoulder #maccadam #transformers #lemonomelette #lemon i really hope u dont mind me drawing some cursed as ff art from this hell #i hate even typing the tags for this hot cringe #mtmte #fuk butch whats his face tho #megatron #starscream #soundwave #oh i did draw humanformers that actually go with this bs but i havent decided if i wanted to post it yet #ratchet #ultra magnus #deadlock #wheeljack #jazz #transformer crossover #fairly oddrobots #artz #pie artz

[stuckinapril]

It’s never overstated to me when people are like “work out bc it makes you feel better” bc it literally does. I think what I used to get hung up on is making the perfect schedule / wanting to know what I was doing right away. But it’s also okay to flounder at first and experiment w things and figure out what works for you and your body. The important thing is you’re starting out bc your body really will thank you for it later down the line. You cannot keep pushing it off it will add up

#“Work out not bc you hate your body but bc u love it” is the truest statement ever #I also don’t think a gym membership is needed bc I know straight up athletes who only ever do bodyweight workouts #It helps me so that’s why I have one but it’s by no means necessary #I still do at home workouts at times bc I think they’re rly fun and a nice switch up #And just playing around and finding out what works for me but what also challenges me #I don’t think I perfected it yet but I’m doing lots of research & experimenting w things & I also just love the endorphins it gives me #My friend and I are ab to start regularly biking through nature trails & I think that will be so therapeutic for me bc I usually just #Work out at the gym/at home. It’ll be a nice little addition #And buying cute workout two pieces actually motivates me to work out too they make me feel like a Pinterest girl fr

[andrewknightley]

When the thing you dislike as a viewer/reader is the thing you love to do as a creator

#i hate when a show the main charas i care about have less screentime cause new charas keep apearing non stop #like asoiaf the dude just keep adding new charas i dont careeeee #or one piece is just bunch or buch of new charas #even ofmd of galavant im like pls i wanna see the mains and side charas of season more than this random that has too much screentime #for only 1 episode to not appear or be mentioned again #and yet. i do love to create endless ocs #in any story #my curse #whats the thing u dislike to expetience but love to do y'all tell me in the tags or replies or in a visiob #talks and stuff

[skunkes]

As someone interested in book making and a viewer of said content the most frustrating thing is seeing someone rebind a popular book and the comments are like "my heart ripped in half when you tore out the pages why are u mutilating the book :(((((" like girl this isnt an ancient manuscript with only one of its kind in existence its mass manufactured tiktok slop even if it WAS being shredded it wouldnt matter there's so many copies out there. Very weird subset of people

#in a further thought its like. so very weird to be a person who worships books in this surface level way #does this make sense #this isnt an anti reading or anti book post its more like you love books and reading yet you're acting like this? #do u know how books are made? especially Now? why is it weird to see a mass made text block be put into a nice cover. #again id get if it was a rare ancient book being ruined like when ppl paint old furniture to be ugly #but like. the other billion copies of this book are not going to be lost media just bc one person....decided they wanted a nicer handmade #cover for it. idk! its so weird to me #its a book equivalent of when everyone collectively pretended to hate the word ''moist'' #''this is so pretty but my book loving heart broke when you started cutting it apart'' how are these equivalent. dont be stupid #talkys

[lycanthian]

they should make a me that isnt Scared

#this is abt something incredibly specific and no im not telling you what #it is probably all in my head and i dont mean that in a Im Crazy way but a I Know My Anxiety Is Kicking Into Overdrive For No Reason way #its a tricky situation . im still not talking abt it unless u are one of the few people authorized with necessary information #and even then i dont know what talking about it would really do besides honestly freak me out more . sigh #something something mantras to repeat myself . #they do not hate you just for existing. you just arent close and havent learned to pick up on their language and vibes yet. youll be ok #lycan howls

[nico-di-genova]

Have the haters tried simply not having Lance Stroll on their mind?

#he lives in their heads rent free #like just admit you’re jealous and move on #goddamn #never seen someone be so hated for quite literally doing NOTHING #his social media presence is nonexistent #his media duties are kept a minimum #he tries so fucking hard to stay away #and yet SOME people (looking at you know who) cannot keep his name out of their fucking mouths #anyway #Lance they could never make me hate u 🥰 #lance stroll

[haunted-xander]

This started as just a redraw of an old Chiluc comic except I got carried away so. here ya go!

#chiluc is so so so complicated to me #diluc hates the fatui and everything they do and stand for but when met with someone who does everything for those he cares about hed cave #and childe knows what hes doing is fucked up but doesnt care enough to change paths and he doesnt get how diluc can look past that #bc diluc is angry and justifyably vengeful yet he treats childe like hes normal #despite bring well aware of what childe does and his stance on it #and it confuses him so much it makes him uncomfortable #bc diluc has rigid morals that he wont budge on yet can still look childe in the eyes without wanting to kill him #its a big ol 'wtf why do u like me stop that. thats weird. im weird and bad and fucked up u cant like that.' #and 'why do i like this guy hes everything ive dedicated myself to eradicating yet i cant bring myself to do so without express reasoning' #its a MESS #childe #tartaglia #ajax #diluc ragnvindr #chiluc #genshin impact #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[phant0municorn]

goodbaye 2 dinobot(uninspired) haelooo lucifer<3

#beast wars #transformers #dinoprimal #optimus primal #dinobot #doop #im gonna dump about this au since like excluding the 1-3 and last 2 images like alot of this is almost from like a year ago by now so uh #if ur a FRIEND who has NOT finished beast wars do NOT read im literally gonna ruin some shit 4 u DONT do it. i SWEAR. ok ily bye #maximals and predacons crash land on earth yadda yadda except its 10 times worse they crash land on the wrong time where most of humanity #has already evolved lets say they crash land around 15-16 century or so. idk yet exactly maybe we may never know just know au is gothic #mostly kinda yeah u see op hes a bat and shit but when he was scanning a lifeform while being barely alive because wehn they crashed both #sides almost went up in flames literally and when op was scanning a lifeform he did scan a bat but it was full of parasites and he ended #up scanning those as well. hes like yeah hes a vampire but like not an actual one but just as scary since energon isnt as abundant as time #goes on on earth and its scarce op needs more of it or else he goes feral he has 2 eat the protoforms kinda. lucifer doesnt defect immediat #ely uhh idk if i might make this like a visual novel or something one day if i have the time or energy after a project im alredy working on #well see ok thanks bye #i also wanted 2 redesign db because it always kinda bothered me how like its just him in some western get up. i wanna commit more 2 it and #now hes a diamondback rattle snake(not sure if i want 2 specify eastern or western idk if it matters really) and op kinda like has more of #flea mouth but rins mouth is canon 2 they can coexist<3 ok now byebye #oops made it up on the spot last minute i hate doing refs but the top of lucifers head is his snake skull #i keep forgetting sm shit but also why do they fight whats the point. in the crash both golden discs were destroyed. theyre pissed off as #hell if im going down im taking u with me

[omgeto]

Incoming... long lost love ex!geto who comes to see you for one last time—on the night that he's going to die.

#this is going to be angsty as hell but LIKE THEYLL BE FLUFF IN IT TOO #BUT ANGST #SINCE IT'LL BE SCORNED!READER #since geto just up and leaves you 10 years ago #the hate fucking will be insane #BUT SINCE THE LOVE IS STILLL THERE AND NEVER LEFT THIGNS GET ALL SOFT AND MUSHY #AND THE CONVOS THAT YOU'LL HAVE THE REMINISCING THE DISCUSSION ON WHY U BROKE UP #ALL THAT GOOD JUICY STUFF #DO U GUYS WANNA SEE THIS SHIT? #IDK WHY IM REALLY ASKING SINCE IM GONNA WRITE IT ANYWAYS #ITS GONNA BE MY BEST WORK YET #LIKE AN ACTUAL FINE CRAFTED PIECE OF WORK #THAT I PROOFREAD AND STUFF #AND LIKE PUT ALL MY EFFORT INTO #its the classic 'when he's mean to everyone but you' trope #or the classic 'you know I'll always love you even when you hate me trope' #and readers all like FUCKKK YOU DUDE #since yk I always have to make my reader a bit of a meanie #but then its the 'when you wanna hate him but you just cant' #so... yes #here's a big #★ — emptalkshit!

[densitywell]

oh, when Orym looked right at Imogen, days after his talk with Fearne abt what to do if she switches sides, and tells her, "I'm not worried about you." and Imogen didn't insight check him, or push into his mind; she just believed him. and I believed him as well, even though it could have easily been a lie, and then Liam confirmed that Orym really did trust her when he said that. he really did believe that Imogen would stand by the Hells, and she did. she looked her mother in the eye and she didn't waver. and it's not specifically because Orym trusted her, but his trust really does mean something to Imogen. she sought him out that night for a reason.

and now the solstice is still happening but things are so different, and Imogen is one of the most vocally opposed members of the Hells to Ludinus, and the Ruby Vanguard, and Predathos. they're bad. they need to be stopped. she'll kill her mother, kill herself, if that's what needs to be done. her questions and her doubts are gone- or at least, hidden away.

and if they are not, if she's suspicious in any way, Orym has personal orders from the wise and benevolent Tempest (and she is wise and benevolent, is the thing!!) to remove her from the situation however he sees fit. to "do the thing," in the parlance used in Orym's conversation with Fearne, a phrasing acknowledged as vague even at the time. Orym, who loves Imogen, and who shows her kindness and empathy, and who stared the fathoms of nuance and pain defining the actors in this conflict in the face and rejected it in favor of revenge just last week. Orym, who told Fearne she would have to "do the thing" because he couldn't - I always assumed it was because he knew he couldn't match up to Imogen on his own, but it could just as easily be that he couldn't bear to do to her what he thinks would need to be done. Imogen still doesn't know they had that talk. the leash has been held so loose that she didn't even know it was there.

#imogen temult #orym of the air ashari #critical role #cr3 #orym #cr #now i have explained before how i think people generally respond to being held under constant unshakeable suspicion (badly.) #but apparently acknowledging that imogen might feel and react negatively to this is coddling her and hating conflict in stories so. #for the record i don't really expect orym to do anything on this front - like if it came down to it he WOULD follow keyleths order. or try #but there would almost certainly be second and third and fourth and as many chances as he could possibly give before that were to occur #if only. at the very least. bc the resulting blowout would tear the entire fucking party apart lol. and i think imogen's conviction is real #ALSO this is not me being upset at this story beat or saying that orym and keyleth bad imogen good or anything. i am simply saying words. #bc i find what is happening compelling and emotionally resonant. u wld think this wld be obvious. and yet #crposting

[suffarustuffaru]

I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms

yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.

anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).

but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.

im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)

whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.

of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.

otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.

#rezero #tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison #in terms of. Calmness levels. #every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH #recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not #understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭 #even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom #he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws #atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom #for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me #kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating #and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate #also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭 #ask #i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom #bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated #very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn #i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia…. #but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.

[homochadensistm]

sorry but your posting style is just coping and seething. in a weird way i’m almost glad that youre one of the more prominent zionist blogs on here because of how openly racist and unkind you are. just posting groypers and saying retarded all the time. “i’m racist against everyone” you sound like an edgy middle-schooler

Did you experience an increased heart rate/full fledged panic attack while writing that? or does the illusion of anonymity make it less uwu scary for you? Do you also think about me when you touch yourself or are you religiously visiting my blog just as a hobby? <3

#the terminalus onlineus disease is indeed difficult to live with #plenty other bloggers out there like 2peachy et al who are much kinder than me and less racist (?) than me #yet receive the same lvls and some way more abuse than I do #its almost like u vermin hate us for some other mysterious reason <3

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

#this post is all over the place but i want u all to experience this with me. baby's first convention #i didn't hate it like i thought i might but i am absolutely WIPED and will b perfectly content to not go to another con for several years #lacc #los angeles comic con #it's so funny walking around and just hearing someone go VASH and literally being like. who said that. #like there are 5 million people in this corridor. where are u so i can acknowledge you #my immediate defense mechanism is to toss up a peace sign so it's very convenient that it is something in character for vash #my favorite compliment was this one guy who was just like 'THAT'S FUCKIN SICK' from across the aisle and i was like 'YEAH!!!!' #long post #ackchewally the more i think about it. i do think sometimes people mischaracterize stampede as lighter than the other triguns #simply because the characters look more baby than their other counterparts #even though many elements of stampede are. truly so dark. #like we are not at manga-level-dark yet but HOO BOY i have no doubt we will get there #i'm dying to see what other horrors orange is cooking bc i KNOW they're cooking awful manga things (laudatory) #hot single dads in your area #my cosplay #this post has taken me hours to write. im so sick of it at this point begone from my sight i hate u

[silenthillbunni]

funny that therapists whose job it is to listen to u are the WORST listeners in society lmaooooooo. they dont hear a single word u say. they genuinely dont care abt what u say at all, they're just gnna take what theyve read in some textbook and apply it on to u. whatever u say you're not a person speaking words, your just a box filled with their judgements and pre constructed notions abt whatever diagnosis theyve assigned to u. therapists and psychiatrists are the most useless and incompetent ppl in society lmao. such a fkn joke it's insane how theyre even allowed to get paid for the shit quality job they perform ._.

#im not even convinced they process or register anything i say #also do they even have an education.....? #i've tried bringing up my depersonalization experiences and they just sit there like blank pages #and look at me like I AM THE WEIRD ONE!!!!!! u have gone to school for it yet i am familiar w more concepts than u?!?!?????? #they dont even know what DEPERSONALIZATION or derealization or any of that is!!!!!!!!! #they just look at me w a bored dead look in their eyes and say yeah u are depressed #i've even been called WEIRD!! by therapists!!!!!!!!!!! #i now know that it was avpd behaviors but when i didnt know and i talked abt it w therapists #they scrunched their eyebrows and got frustrated w me for not just having social anxiety so i could be easy to deal e #and they were like 'uh huh thats strange' ?!?!!???? #that made it SO much harder to talk in therapy bc now i just constantly overthink every single thing i say and wonder if theyre gonna call #me weird. like idk i just rlly... hate therapists. i hate them so much #and psychiatrists? 🤢🤮 they look at u like a lab rat or a statistic or an annoyance #they dont give a single fuck abt u. they arent even competent enough to help u!!! #like idk maybe u have to be rich and buy quality care but every single one of them i have met have been utterly worthless #rndz

[jrueships]

ill be having such a good time then Boom, someone says something

#i love to drive... when i know where im going #im a great driver #but my navigation skills are so shit. theyre so shit #yall i cannot. for the life of me. read fuckin google maps well while driving #i cant judge the distance of a turn.. i think a right turn is a left bcs the screen didnt rotate yet and it's #and i cant remember road names bcs im a landmark man #it's so embarrassing. and all my good driving turns to shy shit bcs it's like. idk. i hate being weird. i hate feeling stupid #i hate being stupid #i hate being told im not stupid until i do smthing stupid again and they get annoyed and u can tell they took it back #bcs everyones right. everyones so right so im not mad at them. im not #im just mad at myself. like it's so fucked. i hate being fucked (literally) (asexual) #i hate getting marked for being wrong in math bcs i saw the + as a ÷ and i did the division right but no one cares abt that bcs it's weird #it's fucked it's so fucked im so fucked #it's so embarrassing. i hate being embarrassing #it's not quirky or cute or anything. setting the wrong alarm bcs i saw the 8 as a 6 is not funny. it's not when u keep doing it #and u keep doublechecking urself and get it wrong anyways #i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid #u think i dont want to just be normal and fun and carefree with things people find easy? you think i dont want an easy life? #u think i like making people's lives hard? you think i Like being a burden??? #i dont wanna be here .

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack

#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS?? #she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se #and she likes kpop and kdramas #but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still #but we were talking about something and oh my god #when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you #two will like each other #and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭 #so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden #and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok #and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too? #but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then #she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual #THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling #my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face #to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay #but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut #up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying #we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it #and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭 #now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny #she could tell everyone my parents could find out #but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me #and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be #friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids #and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad #so no harm #i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her #for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it #literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD