more than friends. (m) | choi san
ღ " i'm catchin' you starin' again, i swear all this shit isn't just in my head. i know that we're more than ... " more than friends by isabel larosa
you and san have been friends since you were little kids, you and him just clicked in a way that no one could describe. with how lovely he was, how could you not harbor feelings for him? he was so good to your parents, your friends, anyone and anything you loved basically. you two were like glue. so when you two slept together and san became distant, you became worried that you had ruined it all. fucking alcohol.
f!reader, childhood friends to lovers, mentions of drunk sex, college!au, unrequited love but not rlly, happy ending, light angst, fluff, san's going to be irritating but he'll come around.
...
warnings for the smut: explicit, praise (both ways), mild body worship, lots of emotions (aka crying), oral sex (f and m receiving), san likes to bite n kiss, slight dirty talk but nothing too cringy, petnames (darling, my love, princess, good girl) , protected (wrap it up! you fuckers.), aftercare ofc !!
ღ word count: 3.3k
ღ a/n: i luv the singer's new ep/album so i had to write to it !! oneshot !!
♫ playing now : more than friends/butterflies/heartbeat by isabel larosa, stay/hush by ari abdul, stargirl interlude by the weeknd, & needy by ariana grande
dedicated to the loml @meifasol enjoy my luv :)
you rolled around in your bed, your head pounding, you groaned and whined from the pain. you stirred slightly and then someone else groaned, you nearly screamed your head off before your mind recognized the voice.
"... san?" you spoke, your voice hoarse.
"yea? good morning to you too," he replied, and that's when you felt his hand around your waist.
that's when you felt everything. your lower half was sore beyond repair, your throat ached and your vocal chords were tired, and you felt san's body, a mere t-shirt separating the two of you. clearly, something had happened the night before.
"let me go. i want to get up," you said, fighting against san's grip.
you two had cuddled when you were younger, but you hadn't ever since you both hit puberty, seemed like his iron grip never changed. san whined in response and you smacked his hand lightly, causing him to yelp and let go. you stood up with mild difficulty, quickly stretching yourself out before walking to the bathroom.
"what happened last night?" you wondered as you washed your face with cold water.
as you slowly woke up, your lower half suddenly felt extra bare. you shifted slightly and gasped.
"where's my underwear?!" you whisper-screamed.
you didn't have the full picture but you were sure you knew what happened last night, you and san fucked. you slept with your childhood bestfriend, but you couldn't even remember it.
"dammit, why did i drink so much? i wanna know what happened...!" you whined.
you had liked san ever since you guys hit high school, something changed in the way you looked at him. he had gotten into volleyball and started going to the gym, growing into his body nicely. sure you had liked him prior, but you were more sure of it in high school. you liked him even more now, even as san changed physically, his personality and morals never shifted, he was forever your san.
"y/n. you done yet? i needa pee," you heard his voice outside of your bathroom door.
"shit, yea, sorry," you replied, wiping your hands on one of your towels before opening the door.
seeing san now after you had deducted the two of you had slept together, he was so much more attractive. he was shirtless and had put on some sweats after you left him in your bed, his hair was messy and his face was still puffy from waking up, but you couldn't help the feeling in your heart. you really loved this man.
you walked past him and decided to try to eat something. you looked through your cabinets and fridge, deciding on something that would quell your hangover. as you ate in silence, you heard footsteps nearing the kitchen. san stood in front of you and looked at you, more awake now.
"do you remember what happened last night?" he asked, playing with the strings on his sweats.
"... no i don't. do you?" you honestly replied, what if you were wrong and nothing had actually happened?
san's face dropped, he sighed and turned around.
"i got something to do today, i'll catch you later y/n. you can call me if you need me," san spoke, leaving you alone.
ok. you two definitely slept together, if only you could remember.
you haven't seen him since that day, it's been around two weeks. he hadn't texted you at all, posted on his instagram, his friends haven't seen him at all, you were running out of clues to find him.
wooyoung said that san hadn't been to dance practice in a long time, that their teacher said that he had been sick.
yunho and mingi, san's roommates, said that he hadn't been home in a while, saying that he was visiting family in namhae.
seonghwa, san's coworker at the coffee shop you two liked, said that he had not shown up to work because byeol had gotten sick.
"that's all his friends, they're all giving me different excuses! i don't know where he could be jongho!" you whined, cradling your head.
jongho hummed deep in thought. you called over your friends jongho and hongjoong to your apartment, desperate for their advice.
"well he's definitely avoiding you," hongjoong spoke.
"thanks captain obvious," you replied, rolling your eyes.
"hey i'm just trying to help!" he yelled, offended.
"you're not very good at it!"
as you two bickered, jongho was deep in his thoughts.
"wait, you haven't asked yeosang yet. go ask him, maybe he'll know," jongho spoke.
"oh my god. you're right! thank you, you're the best!" you exclaimed, patting his head lightly before leaving the two men in your living room.
hongjoong grumbled as jongho smiled in satisfaction.
you called an uber to drive you to the gym, you knew san liked to gym around this time.
yeosang and san were gym buddies, meaning they spent a lot of time together. once you made it to the gym they frequented, you walked into the reception area.
"shit i don't have a membership, how do i get in?" you whispered under your breath.
the workers stared at you weirdly, likely wondering why you were just standing there. you quickly sat down and pulled out your phone, searching for maybe a trial membership or if you could afford one, when you heard a voice say your name.
"y/n, you're starting to gym?" it was deep and soft.
"yeosang! no, i was just looking for you!" you replied, smiling.
yeosang had just walked into the gym, likely ready to start. he laughed and gestured for you to follow him outside, you walked after him and the two of you walked into the parking lot.
"do you know where san is? i've been trying to contact him for the past two weeks but he won't answer," you asked, waiting for yet another excuse.
"... san? oh he's coming to meet me soon! you can talk to him then," yeosang said, smiling.
"oh yeosang, you savior! thank you!" you exclaimed, hugging him.
the two of you talked about nothing in particular, when a male voice called out.
"yeosang-ah! you ready?" san yelled, not that far away.
yeosang must've covered you because san didn't seem to react to your presence yet. the latter got closer and yeosang moved to reveal you, san stopped in his tracks.
"... what are you doing here?" san asked, his voice cold and distant, a tone he never used with you before.
"... 'what are you doing here?' why so cold to me, huh? what did i even do to deserve being ignored by my best friend? answer me, san!" you yelled, an unspoken frustration apparent.
the man of your desire stayed silent, avoiding your eyes.
"look at me you coward. you tell me what happened that night, if you're not scared," you tried to provoke him, "or will you stay distant and watch us drift? it is your call choi san."
he visibly gulped.
"yeosang, sorry, i can't gym today. let's go y/n, we can talk at my apartment. yunho and mingi are at a party tonight and you know how they can get, they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon," san offered his hand.
"just go. you're taking too long," you ordered, watching as he turned around and walked to his car.
yeosang waved you guys goodbye before walking back into the gym. you and san walked in silence to his car. he opened the door for you, like always, before going to the driver's side and starting the car. usually that gesture would warm your heart, but now it just confused you.
you felt like a teenager again, fangirling over any miniscule thing a guy would do for you, but then again, this wasn't just some guy, this was san.
he lowered down the music in his car as he drove, perhaps he was silently hoping you'd talk to him. the angelic sound of the singer's voice calmed you down.
"that was 'more than friends' by isabel larosa, up next is ..."
he pulled into his parking spot in his apartment complex, getting out and opening your door for you on the other side. the two of you hadn't so much as whispered a word the whole car ride. you two walked up to his apartment, you felt like you'd honestly die from the awkwardness. once you made it in, san threw his gym bag to the side before engulfing you into the tightest hug.
"i never meant to upset you y/n, i never want to hurt you ever, you're of the most important people in my life," he began, "i'm so sorry for ignoring you."
"why? just tell me if i did something. say if i did nothing at all, do you know what i've thought about while you were ignoring me like a little kid? 'i must have done something horrible.' 'something happened that night.' 'i fucked up.' 'he hates me.' all of that," you spoke, tears threatening to fall.
"no. no i could never hate you. i ... realize now that i overreacted. i don't really remember either, what happened that night, i just remember ... that we kissed at the bar. we were both a little tipsy, but i guess you more than me. you said you loved me. and i, i don't know if you were saying the truth but it didn't matter to me. i've loved for you for years y/n. years! after you said you loved me, i downed more shots and then i don't remember what happened after."
"... why did you run away?"
"i thought i messed up. that you had regretted it and-"
you grabbed his hands tightly, tugging him down and kissing him.
"please shut up. we both know what happened right? do you regret it? i don't."
"i only regret not being able to remember our first time darling," san replied.
you laughed, san smiled in response, tugging you with him to his room, walking past yunho's and mingi's.
you heard the click of the lock on san's door, as he kissed you.
"surely we'll remember tonight, right?" san asked.
—smut below.
san kisses you nice and slow, gently and loving, as he always is with you. his hands float up and down your body, almost ghosting over your skin. you can feel the slight tremor in his hands as he battles his own desires.
"you can touch me san, you can touch me now, don't worry," you whisper into his lips.
he hums and finally you feel his hands on the parts he had never touched before, the parts he had never dared to. his hands ghost over your chest, your waist, your lower back, your butt, your thighs, and back up to cradle your face.
"bed, please?" san almost whimpers, "i want you so bad. i want to see your beauty, let it imprint onto my mind. please, my princess?"
"undress first."
he frantically nods and immediately begins to take off his clothes, his eyes never leaving you as he watches you removes yours. he keeps his boxers on and you leave your panties on.
"... now?"
you nod and allow him to push you onto his bed, him caging you in his protective arms. he leans down to kiss you once more, before travelling down and he lingers over your chest.
"... can i?" san asks, you can feel his breath on your skin.
"yes, please san, i want you," you reply, relaxing into his bed.
he hums as he leans down to lay butterfly kisses on your chest, down to your stomach, cradling your thighs as he lets his lips linger on your inner thighs. you couldn't tell if he was teasing you or he was stuck in his thoughts before he opened his mouth, letting his teeth run on the inside of your thighs.
"can i bite? please?" san mutters, his voice muffled by your thighs.
"... yes you can."
san bites down gently, you can feel him humming in pleasure as he bites and kisses to his heart's content. it felt nice, yes, but he was so close to where you really needed him.
"saaan ... please touch me," you whine, pushing his head slightly away from your thighs.
"... but i am touching you darling," you can almost hear the smirk on his face, if only he wasn't muzzled by your thighs.
"you know what i mean! don't be such a tease!"
he laughs softly as he ghosts over your panties, leaving a kiss on the wet spot that has formed, causing you to shudder.
"... if you don't touch me i'm leaving your bed, i mean it."
"but i want to take my time with you my love, i've been waiting for years," san says, kissing at your clothed clit.
you squirm away from his lips, shoving your panties off, watching as san's eyes never left you.
"don't you want to touch me, lover boy?"
"... i always want to touch you, my love."
"then do it, or your princess will find another prince," you smile.
he grabs your hips and pulls you closer to where his mouth waits for you, when his lips finally touch your bare clit, the jolt of pleasure you get is like no other. his lips are soft and full of love for you, you can feel it as he kisses your clit and rolls it tenderly on his tongue.
"you taste good, princess."
"worth the wait?"
"of course, your prince would've waited another decade to have you."
you know that you're not his first, he isn't yours either, but you do know that this is both of yours first time making love. the true first time.
"your princess hated waiting, you know," you reply.
"... sorry," he briskly replies before going back to your pussy.
his tongue dives into your folds, the wet sounds filling his bedroom. you can feel san rutting into the bed, low moans leaving his mouth as he gets off on your taste and the accompanying friction.
"god i can't get enough," you can hear him groan, though he doesn't separate from you far enough for you to clearly hear him.
he adds two of his fingers into you as he moves back up to your throbbing clit, but he's slow. he's so slow and gentle that you feel like you're getting rocked to sleep. of course you're not going to fall asleep, not when you have your dream man between your thighs, getting off on your taste and moaning just for you.
"s-san, saaan, i'm gonna cum, i feel it," you alert him, he hums in response, causing further simulation to your clit.
"please cum on my tongue, i need to taste you. come on, my good girl, on my tongue now."
the simulation gets too much and you cum onto his awaiting tongue, san humming in approval.
"taste so good darling, you were such a good girl."
you watch as he sits up, wiping off his mouth and chin, then your eyes drift down to his crotch. he's got a boner that anyone could see from a mile away, maybe you're exaggerating but who cares?
"can i return the favor?" you ask, looking at him expectingly.
"well, what prince would reject head from his princess? a crazy prince is the answer," he replies, taking off his boxers.
san's well endowed, nothing too cartoonishly ridiculous, but you can't say he is small, that's for sure. he giggles as you pause for a minute, just admiring his dick.
"i-i'm getting a little worried, darling. how long you gonna stare for?" he breaks your thoughts.
you laugh before moving towards him, he watches as you gently grab his dick.
"aaah... please," he moans.
"i didn't even start yet sanie!"
"i-i'm sorry! you'd be sensitive too if the girl you've dreamed of for so long was touching your dick! god please, you feel so nice already, i need you, please, i need you," san rambles, getting more whiny as he sees your mouth close around his tip, "mmh! so warm, i'm going crazy already."
you slowly lower your head onto his dick, guiding his right hand onto your head. san gently grips onto you, exhales of "oh shit" and "oh fuck" fill his room. you're slow too, but he doesn't mind as he hits the back of your throat.
"god..! yes! just like that, good girl, taking me so well."
you hum in response, causing him to flinch in surprise at the vibration it causes around his dick. he groans as you bob up and down, you zone out around his dick, getting drunk off his noises.
his eyes have never left you, he refuses to close them as he tries to imprint the sight of you deepthroating him into his mind. when you look up at him, he moans loudly and he swears he almost cums at the sight of you.
you're so focused on his dick that you don't hear his first whine of "stop", but you hear the second one and immediately back off.
"is something wrong?" you ask, wiping your mouth off.
"n-no nothing wrong. i just want to cum while i'm inside you, is all. your mouth is way too good darling," san replies, blushing.
"where are your condoms, san?"
"i'll get them, hold on, i know yunho shoved some into my cabinet a few weeks ago... here they are! come on, i wanna fuck you so bad."
you laugh in reply, letting san lay you on his bed once again, pumping his dick softly before positioning to enter you.
"you'll tell me to stop if you want to, right?"
"yes i will san."
"good girl."
he enters you slowly, you clutch onto his broad back and shoulders, the stretch so plesant and nice.
"so good sanie, you feel so nice," you moan out, causing him to kiss your neck in response.
"y-you, aah, you feel nice too. god, i won't last long, i'm sorry," san says.
"mmh that's fine, i won't last long either, just do what will make us feel good."
"of course my love."
he ruts into you roughly, the soft persona he had gone by now, your soft moans turn into loud ones as he pounds into you, rubbing your clit in circles. his moans almost overshadow your own, his eyes are mostly closed in euphoria, but he opens them to look at you.
"kiss, please kiss," san moans, leaning down to messily kiss you.
the two of you moan into the kiss, his pace gradually building up as he gets closer.
"i love you, i love you, i love you so much y/n."
you two cum at once, you almost trembling in his hold as you two ride out your highs. you look up at him and you see that tears have escaped his eyes.
"you ok sanie? too much?"
"n-no, i just, i can't believe i have you. you have me, never in my life did i think you'd find me good enough."
you tear up at that, the two of you ignore that he's still inside of you as to two cry it out.
"i love you more, my prince."
"never."
you two bicker as san pulls out and carries you to the bathroom, making you pee as he readies the shower.
"let's shower and go to sleep," san speaks, you nodding in agreement, slowly drifting off to sleep.
"can i just say i called it?" wooyoung said, almost gagging at the sight of san feeding you grapes whilst you sat in his lap.
"called what?" san asked, glaring at his best friend.
"that you too were more than friends! gosh everyone could tell! even yeosangie!" wooyoung yelled, yeosang looking at him in shock.
"i couldn't tell. i just thought you two were really good friends, but you're cute regardless!" yeosang said, causing wooyoung to whine and hit him, yeosang laughing as he did so.
san laughed and leaned to kiss you.
"i am so glad you love me."
okok, this is my first actual smut. don't come for me.
ღ lune
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I Was Drowning, That’s When I Could Finally Breathe 🩵
Lucy and Tim break up after a big fight. Will they be able to find each other again?
Tim and Lucy had been living in a world of bliss for a year. Falling in love with one another with each passing day (if that was even possible). Basically, spending every night together, mostly at Lucy’s apartment as it was closer to the station. Tim wanted them to take the next step and officially move in together. He was just waiting for the right time. They were both excelling professionally. Tim, as Metro Sargent. Lucy had passed her detective exam and was still pursuing a UC career. She had only done small ops, nothing long term as of yet. The tap finally came for a career changing, long term op, and then another, and another. Tim, ringing the alarm on each opportunity. Only hearing a small part of what the ops would be. Tim had said he would be fine, but Lucy was realizing he wasn’t ever going to be fine. Without meaning to, he was manifesting his life with Isabel onto Lucy. Once the last opportunity came and he rang the alarm once again, Lucy had enough. She called him out on not separating her and Isabel. He finally admitted that he realized he couldn’t live this life again. Not wanting Lucy to resent him, they decided breaking up was imminent.
As time passed. Lucy and Tim avoided one another as much as possible. Both miserable and heartbroken. Their family at Wilshire wished more than anything they could fix this. Everyone knowing they were meant to be. They had both made so many sacrifices to be together. They were it for one another. But at the end of the day, Tim and Lucy needed to be the one to fix what was broken or move on from one another.
Tim walked into the station after a Metro op, seeing Angela and Nyla hugging Lucy as she made her way out door back on patrol. He was of course curious, but didn’t feel like he could pry anymore. Angela looked disheveled. Tim needing to know what was going on. He still loved Lucy more than anything in this world and always would. If she wasn’t ok he needed to know. No matter the distance right now, he would drop everything to be there for her if she needed him. He would still move the sun to be there for her in any way.
“Lopez. I know it’s not my place but is everything ok?”
“No. Tim. It’s not”
“I-Is s-she ok?” nervously inquiring
“Depends on how you look at it” quipping back
“Ang. Please. What’s going on? “
“Alright. Fine. It’s not really my place but someone needs to give you two a kick in the ass. Lucy just informed Nyla and myself that she is done with UC. She doesn’t want to be a UC anymore. She’s done.”
“WHAT. WHY? She loves UC work” questioning Tim
“Well. Her exact words. UC HAS COST ME THE ONE THING I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING. I LOST THE ONE PERSON WHO MADE ME HAPPY. I don’t want this life anymore. I have no joy or excitement for it.”
“FUCK” was the only response Tim could muster.
“She went on to tell us that she had only caused you pain pursuing a life that had given you such darkness. She never wanted you to look at her and see Isabel and the hurt she caused. She wanted to be your safe place, your joy, the woman you love and want to marry, have a family. Lucy, is convinced she has ruined that life having a UC career and she doesn’t want it anymore”
“God dammit. I love her so much. She is literally the love of my life. My heart is in a million pieces being apart from her. I don’t want her to give this up”
“Maybe you should let her. “
“WHAT?”
“Tim, Lucy could do so many things professionally. But there is only one person she is in love with and wants a life with. Think about it. It’s always gonna be a cloud over you both. I can see she really doesn’t have the love for it anymore. So, maybe you let her make this decision. Stop sabotaging your relationship and have your happily ever after”
As shift continued, thoughts of Lucy consumed Tim. He missed her so much. She was it for him. He had to fix this. Tim never wanted Lucy to resent him by not going after her dreams, because she deserved to have all her dreams come true. If Lucy was to walk away from what she had always wanted, he wanted to make sure it was her decision. He needed her to know he was going to be waiting for her. This breakup has shown Tim all that matters is Lucy. Living this life again was worth the fears if it meant being with the the true love of his life. Tim missed when Lucy returned at end of shift. He had a mountain of paperwork he needed to finish. By the time he was finished Lucy has already changed out and left. As soon as Tim was finished, the only thought was to see her, talk to her.
Tim pulled in front of Lucy’s apartment. Seeing her car knowing she was home. As he made his way up to her apartment, pulling out his key that she had given him months back. Suddenly, he felt wrong using it. As the door flew open, the sight in front of him broke his heart. His light, his ray of sunshine looked disheveled, eyes puffy and cheeks tear stained. “T-Tim, what are you doing here? Please, just go. I can’t do this.” Letting out a sigh. “Luce. Please let me in. I just wanna talk”
Lucy leading Tim to the sofa. Tim interlocking his hand with hers. Sense of relief she didn’t pull her hand back.
“Luce. I’m so sorry. Angela told me about you turning down OC work.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t want it anymore”
“Luce. Come on”
“WHAT?! I have lost what makes me happy. My safe place.”
“Sweetheart. You haven’t. That’s why I’m here”
“I have realized that I would rather live this life again, if it means I have you. You are my whole entire world and I don’t want to live another second without you. I love you more than anything. I can’t be without you anymore”
“Tim…”
“No, Luce. Please. I want you. These past weeks have been torture. You are worth all of it.”
“Tim. Shut up. I love you. I want us. I’m still walking away from UC. This is my decision. The love I once had for UC work isn’t the same as it was. This break has shown me what is important to me and that’s YOU. I don’t want to put you through this again. This is not the life I want. I want us to move forward. Start a family.”
“You want to start a family?”
“I do. Maybe not right at this moment but yes sooner than later”
“Lucy Chen. I don’t want to spend one more night away from you. Move in with me? We can live here till we find our perfect house. I can put my house up for sale. Or we can live there….”
Grabbing his arm to stop her boyfriends rambling.
“Tim. STOP. Yes, let’s move in together. We can figure out the details later.”
“I love you so much Lucy Chen. You have absolutely turned my life upside down in the best possible way. I’m so sorry. I failed you. I always told you I would fight for us and I didn’t”
“No Tim. We needed this to get us to see what’s important and that’s US”
“Are you sure you want to give UC up? I don’t want you to ever resent me”
“I’m sure. Somethings matter more. We matter more”
“We can talk more later about everything but Tim, take me to bed..NOW”
“My absolute pleasure”
Tim knew very soon he would be dragging Angela to a jewelry store to pick out the perfect ring. For now, he was gonna worship his girlfriend and cherish her back in his arms.
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