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#Core Values
2000babies · 4 days
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so I’ve been reading a lot of those yandere personality blogs lately, and it made me realize something. While yanderes are violent, controlling, and terrifying were they real, they are also gentle. You read a yandere story, or play a game, and you see that the yandere, more often than not, is terrible to everyone EXCEPT the person they love. And yeah, the person they love might be scared of them, but that doesn’t make the yandere stop loving them. They just try harder for the love. And it made me realize that at its core, yandereism is about having someone who loves you and protects you unconditionally, no strings attached. It’s about someone who would kill and die for you out of love. Much like monsterfucking, it’s more about the relationship of the monster/yandere with their darling. I dunno, maybe I’m reading too much into this whole thing. thanks for listening to my rant.
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heyitssashag · 4 months
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Went for a 9km walk today. I finished my route at the Starbucks. I had my decaf Americano and it was amazing. Then I took a bus back home.
I saw a lot of bunnies out.
I was sore throughout but I didn’t take any breaks until I was finished. I really wanted to power-through. My energy is doing great but the pain is still very much present.
It was beautiful out. Warm-ish.
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I also connected with my participant with the health coaching program. She’s doing really well and has been exceptionally successful in following through with her action plans. This is very rewarding for me to witness as a volunteer. 😊
My kid has been depressed. Today, we worked on a worksheet to help them figure out their “core values”. Then we used a SMART goals plan to create steps to set goals while still being in alignment with their values. Doing this simple exercise can make a world of difference for some people. Living a life that goes with your values feels a lot more authentic, meaningful and fulfilling.
I’ve seen a lot of relationships struggle (or end) because both parties have very different values (and don’t respect them). It helps significantly when both have the same or similar values and goals but it’s not imperative as long as the respect is there. On another note, values and goals can change or evolve over time which could lead to deteriorating relationships. In the past, I always did this exercise with my other-half. Whenever my relationships started falling into the toilet, I knew we were no longer on the same path together. Knowing each others values and goals is required to stay on that path.
I never thought to do this exercise with my kid but because we’ve been “butting heads" lately I figured I'd give it a try.
I learned one of their core values is “honesty”. Which wasn’t a surprise but when we worked through the exercises, they expressed that they hate it when things are promised and then plans change. They consider that being “dishonest” and it causes all sorts of problems. They could feel hurt, abandoned, disappointed, etc. which leads to anger and resentment. I, on the other hand, could view that moment as them being completely “inflexible” or even “stubborn” - Not realizing that they feel like they’ve been lied to. If one of my core values was “flexibility” or “going with the flow” that could be a recipe for disaster. (I think it’s in my top 10 but it’s not one of my core ones - aka top 3.) Anyway, it’s something to stay mindful of. I’m glad we did this exercise together and the kid seems in a lot better spirits because of it - probably because they feel more understood. They also made a pretty big goal and they’re excited to achieve it. 😊
The kid just brought me a cup of tea so it’s book time. It’ll probably take me till the weekend to finish it.
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themandalalady · 13 days
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24-103 Constructiveness
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bakrishna · 16 days
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comfortfoodcontent · 1 year
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FGC Core Values Dead or Alive 6 artwork by Pltnm06Ghost
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keyboardandquill · 2 years
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My "core values" series is now available as a free ebook!
You can check it out in my ko-fi shop at the link below :)
I also have a paid version with fancy formatting and worksheets included. It's only $5 USD, so if you're like me and love a good printable, it might be the right option for you! (It also comes with the free printer-friendly version!)
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thejosh1980 · 8 months
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Some mothers do 'ave 'em...
I recently met up with a close friend and over a cup of coffee, and a few more on following weeks, he shared his story regarding the recent breakdown of his relationship with his mum. 
He shared his feelings of loss, and potential long term damage, of his relationship with his most significant close family member, his mother.
As he shared, I came to understand over the years he'd learnt to let the distance grow between himself and some family members, or chosen to set boundaries with others, due to various reasons, the overall decision based on challenging relationship dynamics. 
He came to realise some of his family was toxic and dysfunctional, and he had to protect himself. He had learnt that while you can't choose your family, you can choose if you have a relationship with them.
His mum was the only constant. While there had been a few challenges between them, overall he felt it had been a good relationship, until now.
He said he felt some bad vibes leading up to the “conversation”, although he trusted that if there were any problems that his mum felt needed addressing, she would speak up, allowing him the chance to correct, change or extend his support, connection and relationship with her in a manner that would bring closeness, not distance, to their world.
I've known him a long time, and I remember years ago he was different. Back then he just as likely to argue, push people away, manipulate, act out and do all sorts of things that would often times make matters worse.
Over the years, I've noticed he's learnt that's not the way to build bridges, develop bonds, and cultivate trust. He now believes in the importance of connection, talking things out, and being honest and open. 
I've experienced those changes within our friendship...
We've had plenty of chats about this kind of stuff over the years, and although still not perfect, he aims to focus on accountability, responsibility and strategies to learn how to develop healthier relationships. He's often reflecting, reevaluating and adjusting.
He's learnt people aren't mind readers, and playing games doesn't work. It's about speaking up before resentment sets in, setting boundaries, developing understanding between each other, not assuming and asking questions, and that a well thought out response is far more beneficial than an impulsive reaction. 
Being angry doesn't give anyone a “get out of jail free” card, to behave any which way they want. 
He told me how his mum had a go at him over a relatively minor issue with no warning. It sounded to him like she had been biting her tongue for a long time, and was just waiting for an excuse to unleash a brutal tirade of abuse and accusations, at one point calling him a “fuckin bastard”.
He remembers a lot of “all or nothing” type statements during that conversation too, things like “you are always rude”, or “you never say hello or goodbye”, “you're always doing your own thing, and never include me” and so on. It sounded to him like at some point, he's not sure when exactly, but she had decided everything he did was wrong.
He said she even mentioned something that upset her over a year ago, although he remembers having a chat about that back then. Well, maybe she forgot they spoke, but he's baffled as to why she didn't mention it when it first became a problem. 
Why hold onto it for a year?
He said it was like she was constantly setting him up for failure by keeping quiet on anything that was bugging her. Just adding another thing to the list of bad things he was doing, or not doing. More evidence to confirm her opinion that all he did was wrong, bad or rude.
When he tried to give examples that these statements were not true, or offered alternative (and true) reasons why he behaved the way he did, his Mum would hold the line, offer no response, or simply laugh it off and shift the focus to the next issue she had on her mind, effectively dismissing him and removing any responsibility and accountability on her part.
He conceded, that at times, he didn't have time or capacity to engage when she wanted to. In those (past) moments he would respond with “give me a minute” or “can we arrange that for another day”, or “I'll call you back”, all of which she took as a slight against her.
It wasn't the fact that his Mum had issues she needed to talk about and feelings to express, he knows some of it was important stuff. It was how she'd done it. He thinks she let the resentment build to boiling point, letting the insults, and the judgements fly... Causing more damage than any of the issues she raised could.
She was angry, she said what she said, and he has to deal with it now. 
He told me, even 2 months on, while it may be very easy to forget the hatred that was spoken, it is very difficult to forget the hatred that was heard. 
He said, “I really can't imagine ever having a reason or justification to say the things she said to me, to her. Yeah, shit comes up and if you feel it's important, you gotta talk it out. But exploding, going on the attack, is just unhelpful”.
The few times they have seen each other since that day, he felt that she hasn't realised the damage to their relationship and the pain he felt by those words. He has sleepless nights, constant self doubt and feelings of worthlessness, all because of a mother's “love”, and anger.
He said, the worst of it all, was that he felt he had let her down as a son. He can't remember if she actually said he was shit or no good as a son that day of the conversation, some of it is a blur. His take away from the conversation and her behaviour since, his overall feeling, was that he has never been a good son, ever. He has done very few things right since he was born, and that finally the truth about his mother's feelings about him are out in the open. 
He admitted there have been moments where he wonders if she regrets having him.
He said then something I wasn't expecting, but after all I've heard, shouldn't really be a surprise, “all I know is, I cause Mum pain just being around her. After hearing her words, its now clear to me. I want her to be happy, and that means keeping my distance”. 
I could see his pain as he spoke. I knew it was hard for him to share.
Yes she was angry, but what did she hope to achieve by saying such things in such an angry way?
We did discuss some of her background, what he knew of her childhood, her family and their struggles before he was born. There's several events from her childhood and younger days that likely affect her today, although she doesn't seem to be aware of it. I didn't offer this as an excuse for poor behaviour, only that it may help him gain some understanding. It might be if she ever wanted to look within, she may be able to trace back through her experiences, and recognise their affect on her feelings, thoughts and behaviours today.
He doubts she fully understands her core values and beliefs, and where they come from. It is surprising how just one sentence or experience (let alone many) as a young person, can have a life long affect on our perspectives, decisions and behaviours. 
He said to me “I just wish that any problems she may have had, she would have wanted to discuss it with me instead of building up to this brutal outburst”. He would have listened, and tried to come to a solution or arrangement that both could be satisfied with. 
He told me, “But right now, I just can't trust mum”.
He feels that any trust they had, disintegrated during that conversation. 
Sometime after the initial conversation he asked her what are her expectations for their relationship in the future, what kind of relationship does she want? She didn't know, and so he feels that if there is any hope of reestablishing connection, it would require effort on her part. 
The balls in her caught.
He spoke about this (un)development of his relationship with his mum and the complete sadness he feels that overshadows everything at the moment. There has been news, what most people would consider exciting news, in his life. Things he would normally share with his Mum, and now he feels he can't. How can he share this news when all the trust in her, and their relationship, has dissolved? If she can spin a positive story into a bad one, like in recent conversations, what's stopping her from twisting this news?
After one of our conversations I thought about how I would feel if my Mum used brutal and angry words expressing her discontent for my part in her life, out of the blue, with little warning. Honestly, I couldn't imagine it happening. It would be such a 180 on her behalf, it would surely put me into deep shock, deep depression or maybe worse.
I think I would be concerned for Mum, what was really going on with her? 
What happened......?
Mum, are you ok......? No really...... Are you OK?
But then, how could I ask her? How could we, after that trust was napalmed, begin to find a way back to trust, love and connection? 
I guess I would step back, go over what she said, and came to a similar conclusion to my friend. It would be clear, for now, she doesn't want me in her life anymore. I would read her actions loud and clear.
There's nothing I can say to my friend to help. What could I say that brings comfort in such an uncomfortable situation? 
All I can do is listen.
As painful as it is, it isn't unusual to hurt the ones closest to us. There's a trust there that the person closest will continue to love us, no matter how hard we push them away, no matter how much we hurt them. I know my friend loves his mum. I know he's feeling very hurt. I can only hope that steps are taken to mend the bridge that exploded a few months ago.
I'm not saying my friend is right and his Mum is wrong, I don't think the world can be viewed in black and white either, especially when it comes to relationship dynamics.
I don't know how many stories I've heard, or relationships I've been a part of, where resentment has crept in, built up and erupted uncontrollably. It can be a very evil and damaging, and these days I believe many times it can be nipped in the bud, simply by speaking up. 
In fact, I try my best to encourage myself, in fact force myself, to express my feelings when I start to feel that I am heading in the direction of resentment. 
Sure you have to trust the person you're speaking to, maybe they actually won't listen, or acknowledge you. Maybe they get angry because you said this or that. It's a risk. And I'd say if you let the resentment build (like my friend's Mum) to the point of exploding, there's a larger risk that the trust will be gone within moments of the volcano erupting, burning all in its wake.
Once spoken, words can be very hard to undo, even more so when the words are said in anger.
Let's not let anger get the better of us, or our actions.
Thanks for reading,
Josh
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williamskaphika · 7 months
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Cultivating Authenticity in Hard Times: A Catalyst for Personal and Professional Advancement
"🚀 Just published a new blog post on the power of authenticity in personal and professional growth! Dive into the journey of self-discovery and fulfillment. Check it out now! #Authenticity #PersonalGrowth
“Authenticity is when you say and do the things you actually believe“ SIMON SINEX Life is a journey filled with peaks and valleys, and at times, we find ourselves navigating through challenging terrains. Personal hardships can arise from various sources—be it health issues, relationship struggles, financial setbacks, or career disappointments. In moments as such, it’s easy to lose sight of our…
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sage-d-scribe · 1 year
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An intellectual and philosophical movement
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markitspace · 2 years
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Do you know your business’s core values?
And does your website align with those values?
Identifying a business’s core values is a fundamental component of a Strategic Plan. They help to establish a vision and mission and help influence decision-making that impacts your services, target market, marketing campaigns, and brand message. Your business’s core values should be integrated into all aspects of your organisation, including your website.
At MarkIT Space, it’s one of the first things we identify as part of a website strategy before any designing or development occurs. It maintains alignment when creating the design and functionality of the website.
Your core values expressed through your website establish a brand identity that makes your business memorable and builds trust among your audience. It’s important to articulate your business’s core values if that helps clients choose you over your competitors.
If identifying your business’s core values is not something you’ve already done, book a Strategy Meeting with MarkIT Space. We’ll help you determine which values you align with the most.
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themandalalady · 25 days
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24-091 Flair
Flair “a special ability for doing something well” If you can do something, why not do it well…of course for those of us who are recovering perfectionists, knowing when to stop at “well” is a challenge…it NEEDS TO BE PERFECT! Ok, I guess that’s the direction this post is taking today. For me, I appreciate when someone goes the extra mile to go above what’s expected. I love when I receive a…
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craftheaven · 2 years
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meanya · 2 years
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I don't wanna be remembered. I don't wanna be immortalized with a song or a word or a statue. I wanna be immortalized in the ways I've helped people.
I want someone someday to be comfortable/happy as a result of something I've done. Even if what I did goes way back in a chain reaction, I will have put my piece into a sequence of events that lead to something good. That's the most rewarding thing of all.
I don't need people attributing good fortune to me or remembering my name. If I've done something with a positive impact, that thing was my doing whether people know it or not. I wanna do as many good things as possible. That's everything to me.
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merlionkingdom · 2 years
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Also i’ve finally found my essentials in personal core values and i am working on it. I am so emotional right now. Is this real?
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