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double-croche1 · 2 years

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[AVANT-PREMIÈRE CINÉ] INCROYABLE MAIS VRAI de Quentin Dupieux Vous n’allez peut-être pas nous croire, mais l’incorrigible Quentin Dupieux accélère le rythme en proposant pas moins de deux films cette année : ‘Incroyable mais vrai’ (Berlinale) et ‘Fumer fait tousser’ (Festival de Cannes). Intéressons-nous au premier ici, dont on tâchera de n’en dévoiler aucun ressort qui en fait le sel afin de ne pas gâcher l’effet de surprise : les annonces “incroyables mais vraies” évoquées par les différents personnages. En complément de la loufoquerie typique du cinéma de Quentin Dupieux et qui fonctionne toujours aussi bien, le long-métrage se démarque sur deux aspects : le suspense mais aussi le rapport au couple. Un film savoureux. Alain et Marie emménagent dans un pavillon. Une trappe située dans la cave va bouleverser leur existence. ‘Incroyable mais vrai’ convoque plusieurs éléments de la cinématographie de Quentin Dupieux : le “no reason” (« Ne me demandez pas pourquoi. » qu’indique ici l’agent immobilier) dans ‘Rubber’ (2010), les couleurs pastels depuis ‘Wrong’ (2012), les temporalités qui s’entrelacent dès le début et Chabat assis devant le bureau de son patron en ne sachant pas comment réagir à ses surprenantes demandes dans ‘Réalité’ (2015, film dont il est le plus proche), Anaïs Demoustier dans ‘Au poste !’ (2018) et bientôt ‘Fumer fait tousser’ (2022), l’objet paranormal dont le caractère obsédant le rend de plus en plus destructeur dans ‘Le Daim’ (2019) ou encore les expériences (ici sur la pomme et le chat) à la fin de ‘Mandibules’ (2021). Là où ce dernier se concentrait sur l’amitié, ‘Incroyable mais vrai’ prend pour sujet le couple. Le film signe d’ailleurs un tournant dans le cinéma du réalisateur, avec cette fois un scénario dont les enjeux du quotidien sont bien plus prégnants. Les deux couples présentés ici font face à l’usure de leur relation (diminution de l’attirance sexuelle, absence du désir d’enfant, emprise du travail). Chacun, à l’exception du protagoniste interprété par Alain Chabat, s’enferme dans les stéréotypes de genre (côté masculin : Gérard avec les voitures de sport, armes à feux, compagnes à gogo, sorties “de mec” ; côté féminin : Jeanne qui travaille dans une boutique de lingerie, apprécie un collier obtenu en cadeau comme “truc de gonzesse”, Marie qui cherche à retrouver sa beauté juvénile). Le besoin de séduire (le conjoint, les amis) va aller jusqu’à influer chez chacun d’eux sur leur apparence physique. Une obsession qui pourra bien souvent les mener à leur perte. Le fait que le scénario se concentre uniquement sur ce quatuor est assez salvateur. Simplement nommés Alain, Marie, Gérard et Jeanne, ils ont un potentiel d’identification certain. Alain Chabat, qui est le seul acteur dont le personnage conserve le prénom, endosse comme dans ‘Réalité’ avec beaucoup d’entrain les yeux et questionnements du spectateur face au monde un peu fou et absurde qui l’entoure. Il est souvent, tout comme nous, dépassé par les événements (« C’est juste dingue. » ou « C’est chaud. », il gère des contrats mais n'en lit lui-même pas les petites lignes !). Benoît Magimel et Léa Drucker (ainsi que Roxane Arnal qui en incarne avec une ressemblance physique frappante une version plus jeune) font quant à eux une remarquable entrée dans l’univers Dupieux (avant celle à venir de Vincent Lacoste, Gilles Lellouche, Pascal Zidi et Oulaya Amamra en power rangers de la cigarette dans le non moins délirant ‘Fumer fait tousser’) avec leurs obsessions débordantes. Benoît Magimel et Anaïs Demoustier cabotinent de façon plus vraie que nature dans la beauferie qui caractérise leur couple de personnages, aidés par des attributs physiques amusants (moustache fine et tignasse blonde). Un ensemble de personnages hauts en couleurs interprétés avec inspiration, dans une alchimie qui opère bien. Le suspense fait irruption dès la séquence d’ouverture. Le film joue en effet sur les effets d’annonces multiples (face au médecin, par l’agent immobilier ou par le patron/ami) avec ces petites phrases qui attisent l’excitation (« On a peur que vous nous preniez pour des fous. », « Il vaut mieux que je vous montre, je ne veux pas gâcher l’effet de surprise. », « Tu veux entendre un truc de dingue ou pas ? » ou encore « Je ne sais pas comment expliquer c’est trop énorme. »). Loin d’être l’intérêt principal du film, cet outil scénaristique générant la surprise est très bien employé ici. Ces histoires rendues possibles par le “cosmos” et l’innovation technologique amusent. A noter d’ailleurs que la seconde pourrait en réalité ne pas être si loufoque que cela ! La mise en scène offre elle aussi quelques bonnes surprises, comme une longue séquence finale sans parole et avec un temps qui s’accélère. Ce conte joueur est accompagné par une musique électronique légère et vintage qui lui sied tout à fait (rappelant d’ailleurs le jeu ‘Space Invaders’ très 80s que le protagoniste semble jouer à ses heures perdues). D’une courte durée de 1h14, le film présente une fin qui peut paraître assez brutale. Ne boudons néanmoins pas notre plaisir, Quentin Dupieux parvient avec ‘Incroyable mais vrai’ à nous concocter une farce loufoque et délicieuse dont lui seul à le secret. Bande-annonce : https://bit.ly/3t6Llrb Date de sortie française : Mercredi 15 juin 2022 A&B

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leblogdemarinaetjeanmarie · 18 days

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MARDI 2 AVRIL 2024 (Billet 3/3)

« LE JEU DE LA REINE » (2h)

Un film de Karim Aïnouz (un metteur en scène brésilien d’origine algérienne), avec Alicia Vikander, Jude Law…

« Il était une fois un roi malade et colérique qui régnait sur un royaume corrompu », les premières phrases du film, en forme d’incipit de conte, sont prononcées par une future Reine d’Angleterre, Élisabeth 1ère. Sa voix introduit un épisode de sa jeunesse auprès de son père, Henri VIII. Elle aurait tout aussi bien pu fredonner une comptine que les Anglais apprirent par la suite : « Divorcée, décapitée, décédée, divorcée, décapitée, vivante », moyen mnémotechnique de se souvenir du sort des six épouses du célèbre monarque.

Une fois n’est pas coutume, « Le Jeu de la Reine » s’intéresse à la dernière. La « vivante », Catherine Parr, qui assista son mari jusqu’à la mort de ce dernier en 1547. C’est en ressuscitant cette figure d’une épouse longtemps assimilée à la nurse d’un roi décrépit que le cinéaste Karim Aïnouz s’aventure sur les terres ripolinées du film en costumes. Et ça ne sent pas la naphtaline ! Malin, il transbahute la cour des Tudor dans le Devonshire.

À Londres, la peste fait des ravages et voilà ce beau monde investissant avec cage à perroquet, colliers en forme de chaînes et manteaux à épaulettes XXL, les moindres recoins d’un château qui semble fort mal chauffé dans son nuage de brume.

Catherine Parr (Alicia Vikander), Reine régente, est à la manœuvre pendant que son mari guerroie en France. Elle gère plutôt efficacement les affaires courantes (moues dédaigneuses des puissants du royaume) et fait réviser leurs leçons à ses beaux enfants, tous deux orphelins. Le jeune Édouard, (branche Seymour, mère décédée) futur héritier, et Elisabeth (branche Boleyn, mère décapitée) à qui elle enjoint d’aller plus loin que la traduction littérale des textes. Il s’agit de former une femme qui pense. La reine se rend aussi en catimini dans la forêt. Elle y rencontre la prédicatrice Anne Askew, une amie d’enfance impliquée dans la Réforme. L’expédition ne passe pas inaperçue auprès de ses opposants qui estiment qu’elle a un peu trop d’influence sur le roi vieillissant.

Justement, Henri VIII (Jude Law) affligé d’un ulcère à la jambe rentre plus tôt que prévu de la campagne de France. Branle-bas le combat au château, le stress se diffuse dans toutes les antichambres. « Je ne sais jamais ce qu’il va faire, ni ce qu’il pense », déclare la jeune Elisabeth, défaite. Jude Law, ogresque à souhait, tonne, éructe, joue au jeu du chat et à la souris avec sa femme qui esquive, tout à tour câline ou ferme.

Karim Aïnouz filme l’histoire en regardant par le trou de serrure, la confrontation du couple. Il introduit le thriller psychologique dans cette Angleterre filmée comme un tableau. Chacun avance ses pions : le mari retors et violent, l’épouse maligne et déterminée. Il est le feu, elle joue avec. Visage impassible mais cœur battant à tout rompre, Alicia Vikander affronte avec une belle audace un Jude Law aussi méconnaissable qu’inquiétant. Le roi est mort. Ouf ! Vivante.

(Source : « lefigaro.fr »)

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Nous avons beaucoup aimé ce film dont nous avions repoussé à 2 reprises le jour de la séance, suite à des conditions climatiques DÉ-TES-TABLES !

On ne peut pas dire qu’il ait fait meilleur lorsque nous y sommes allés, disons qu’il faisait juste un peu moins pire.

L’article ci-dessous dit très bien tout ce que nous avons particulièrement apprécié dans ce film, l’interprétation entre autres des 2 comédiens principaux (si vous ne le saviez pas, nous vous aurions mis au défi de reconnaître Jude Law, un des plus beaux acteurs de sa génération, dans le rôle d’Henri VIII) mais aussi tout le reste de la distribution. Les costumes, les décors… parfaits ! Quant à l’histoire, même si dès le début nous connaissons la fin (quoique…), l’angoisse qui s’installe au fur et à mesure de son développement est digne d’un thriller.

Nous avons donné tous les deux ❤️❤️❤️,5 sur 5 à ce film.

NB. Pour finir, nous vous mettons 2 liens à la fin de ce Billet, le premier concernant la sixième Reine, Catherine Parr et le second, Henri VIII. Si vous les ouvrez et les lisez aussi attentivement que nous l’avons fait, vous vous apercevrez très vite que l’autrice du livre dont s’est inspiré le film, Elizabeth Fremantle, s’est très largement éloignée de la vérité historique mais, par contre, est restée fidèle au sens principal de l’« action » de Catherine Parr sur son époque et sur l’avenir « spirituel » du Royaume d’Angleterre. Comme disait Alexandre Dumas : « Il est permis de violer l’histoire, à condition de lui faire un bel enfant ! »…

Les 2 liens en question :

Sous-estimée, la sixième et dernière femme d’Henri VIII façonna l’Angleterre | National Geographic

Henri VIII — Wikipédia (wikipedia.org)

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lunaokami30 · 2 months

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Prénom : Roxana Surnom : Roxy, Roxa Age : Enfant 10 ans/ Adulte 23 ans Sexe : Femme Taille : 1m67 Poids : 59kg Relation : En Couple avec Reno (Selon le Rp). Village d'origine : Inconnu Affiliation : Membre de la Shinra. Emploi : Une Membre des Turks. Ames : Elle a deux pistolet assez styler. Objets : Collier Phoenix pour augmenter la puissance de Tire de ses pistolet.

Ami(e)s : Rufus, Elena, Reno, Rude. Ennemis : Sephiroths, Cloud, Aerith, Tifa.

Aime : Sa famille, ses amies, lire, protéger, aider les chats perdu. Aime pas : La mort, perdre ses proches, la trahisons, le mensonge, la peur des araignées, la phobie d'être seule.

Caractère : Gentille, super intelligente, peut être jalouse, peut être méchante si on lui parle mal, sympa.

Physique : Elle a un manteau a capuche noir long avec une sacoche sur le coter droit, botte haute marron clair, collant noir

Histoire : Elle n'a pas connu sa famille biologique, car elle les a perdu toute petite que quelqu'un lui a raconter une fois qu'elle sois adolescente, elle fini par rejoindre la Shirna et y reste en tant que Turk, pour le moment elle s'y plaît et ne voudra pas partir, son chemin ne fait que de commencer vers l'avenir.

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4nuttyaddict · 2 months

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Collier inspiration steampunk, pendentif cabochon oeil de chat et clé.

Lien boutique: https://www.ungrandmarche.fr/boutiques/p/colliers/ras-de-cou-steampunk-dentelle-et-breloque/4783675

#collier steampunk #collier dentelle noire #ras de cou steampunk #bijou chic #création artisanale #création française #création lotoise #steampunk neclace #lace necklace #original jewelry #made in France #made in Lot

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bijouterieminimaliste-blog · 11 months

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Collier pendentif Coeur et Chat Creux sur chaîne en acier inoxydable or, collier cadeau femme Collier pendentif Coeur de Chat creux sur chaîne fine en acier inoxydable. Disponible en placage doré. Diamètre du pendentif : 19 mm 1 longueur disponible : - 45 cm Votre bijou vous sera livré dans un emballage rembourré protecteur. L'acier inoxydable possède des propriétés uniques qui le distinguent : Il est résistant à la corrosion, ne ternit pas et ne change pas de couleur. Il est durable et ne se déforme pas facilement. Il est hypoallergénique et n'irrite généralement pas la peau (à moins de cas très rares). Il conserve son apparence même en étant exposé à des éléments courants tels que l'eau, la transpiration et les produits cosmétiques, et ne noircit pas. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1488961951/collier-pendentif-coeur-et-chat-creux

#Bijoux animaux #Accessoire de mode #amoureux des chats #Collier avec pendentif creux #or #collier boho #collier ethnique #pendentif chat #collier chat #collier animal #chat #collier coeur #idée cadeau

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bgugliel · 3 months

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Collier branché santé pour chien et chat

Mon Carnet, le podcast · {BONUS} – Collier branché santé pour chien et chat Minitailz d’Invoxia est un collier connecté pour chiens et chats, fonctionnant comme une montre intelligente pour surveiller leur santé. Il offre un suivi biométrique, des activités via IA, et un GPS. Avec une autonomie de 15 jours, ce dispositif aide à la prévention et au diagnostic précoce de problèmes de santé. Les…

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plumdepan · 3 months

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Chat GPT, l'analyseur de scénario 2/2

Chose promise, chose due : voici les résultats de l'analyse de Chat GPT sur Plmplp !

Dans l'ensemble, l'analyse est intéressante et soulève même des points auxquels je n'avais pas pensé...

Ce qui revient souvent, c'est que "ce scénario offre une palette d'émotions, de rebondissements et de mystères, fournissant des opportunités pour explorer les caractères, les relations et l'intrigue de manière plus approfondie." (Selon Chat GPT)

Juste pour le fun, j'ai aussi demandé à Chat GPT d'écrire une histoire à partir du scénario qu'il a analysé. Le résultat est très éloigné de l'histoire originale, mais en voilà quand même un extrait :

*La nuit était tombée sur les locaux de l'association, les ombres dansant sur les murs. Criselda, assise dans sa chambre, contemplait le collier que Cassandre venait de lui remettre. Les émotions se bousculaient dans son esprit.*

Criselda: Cassandre, pourquoi revenir maintenant après tant d'années?

Cassandre: Les circonstances l'exigent, Criselda. Bethany est un danger, et ce collier peut te protéger.

*Pendant ce temps, Lilith prévenait Karleen de la révélation imminente.*

Lilith: Karleen, Criselda sait maintenant pour Astrid. Il faut rester calme.

Karleen: Astrid... on doit faire payer Bethany.

Conclusion : ce n'est pas demain que Chat GPT sera un grand écrivain 😅

Pour info, j'avais précisé qu'il devait alterner dialogues et scènes de description. Il l'a donc proposé sous forme de pièce de théâtre. Pourquoi pas 🤔

#ecrire #ecriture #fiction #chat gpt #plmplp #theatre

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d2kvirus · 5 months

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Dickheads of the Month: November 2023

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of November 2023 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Once again the Israeli Defence Forces decided to insult the intelligence of everybody else with their suggestion that it's okay for them to bomb ambulances as those were Hamas ambulances as opposed to regular, non-Hamas ambulances

...and it was the turn of Gilad Erdan to demonstrate, while once again wearing a gold star in the UN chamber, just how much of an open season on the intelligence of people listening to lie after lie by claiming that every single UN peacekeeper killed by the IDF were actually secret Hamas members, which somehow didn't have him dragged out of the chamber and told that he should fuck off and stay fucked off until he comes back to withdraw his remarks

...and when it fell to Isaac Herzog to insult the intelligence of the world, he pulled out a pristine copy of Mein Kampf and claimed it was found in the bombed-out remains of a children's living room with various Post-It notes to annotate it as if that somehow justifies bombing all Palestinian children - yet Laura Kuenssberg failed to challenge this patently absurd claim at any point in spite the claim being made on her show

...yet for some reason Grant Schapps decided he wanted in on the action, trying to justify Israel bombing civilians left, right and centre on Laura Kuenssberg's show by bringing up the Allied bombing of Dresden in World War II - which just so happened to be the exact same line which genocide denier Tzipi Hotovely used a couple of weeks previously trying to shut down Kay Burley on her show

...and then it was back to smears, with Eylon Levy dismissing the hundreds of thousands on the streets of London marching for peace by calling them "rape apologists", while David Collier accused it of being the largest antisemitic march in the history of the west, because that's going to turn the tide of the PR War that Israel have been losing one hospital bombing at a time

...then we had Aviva Klompas getting on on the "evidence" train, claiming to have found "evidence" that Hamas had tunnels under one of the various hospitals the Israelis had bombed, only for that "evidence" to not be a rota of guards and prisoners and merely just a calendar which was written in Arabic

...meanwhile along came Mark Regev to claim that Israel are not firing at hospitals but are firing at Hamas, which suggests that Israel has shitty aim since they keep hitting hospitals and not Hamas

...as opposed to Nir Barkat telling Palestinians that they should be thankful that Israel haven't dropped nukes on them - those would be the nukes Israel spent decades denying having, imprisoning Mordechai Vanunu for sixteen years for revealing the fact - while also throwing in the nugget accusing Hamas of committing atrocities worse than the Nazis ever had because why the fuck not at this point

...though it appears that Fox News were getting antsy about Israel's habitual lying without being asked to help out, which is why they were brought in to film the Israeli forces capturing a Hamas operative live on their channel - before unintentionally filming the Israeli forces chatting with the actor who they had playing a Hamas operative before being ordered to turn their cameras off

...though when it came time for Campaign Against Antisemitism to stage their own march, the main takeaway from the march was the one where Tommy Robinson was taken away by police - though some of the other attendees, such as proven liar Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and Julia Hartley Brewer, as well as other noted figures of tolerance and valid arguments such as Eddie Marsan, Rachel Riley, Tracy Ann Oberman and Maureen Lipman

Fascist pitbull Suella Braverman must have realised there was a section of society she hadn't kicked in the ribs for a few weeks because there is no other logical explanation for her deciding to describe homelessness as a "lifestyle choice" while demanding that charities stop supplying tents to the homeless

...and because Suella Braverman was on her uppers she then started ranting about a pro-Palestine march at the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday, which saw the Metropolitan Police issuing a statement which would not look out of place if uttered by Judge Dredd while Turning Point UK outright threatened the police by saying they had 24 hours to ban the march or they would be marching themselves and would not be taking prisoners, and then the Daily Mail waded in with a front page howling about how awful it would be if there was a riot at the Cenotaph. There was just one problem with this whole situation: no pro-Palestine march was scheduled for Remembrance Sunday and certainly not at the Cenotaph, it was scheduled for the Saturday like every other march which Braverman previously called "hate marches" - a term which, funnily enough, she did not use for TPUK's threatened walking riot

...and after all that Suella Braverman took the unusual (read: utterly fucking barmy) step of writing a column in The Times attacking the Metropolitan Police for not banning a protest which she had apparently made up judging by the numerous factual errors in her description of it, and then going further by accusing the police of bias for banning English Defence League marches (where there tend to be a lot of cases of assault from the people on them) and then foregoing her dogwhistle for a foghorn by claiming the police went easy on the Black Lives Matter protests compared to the anti-lockdown protests, at which point the question really needs asking about who the puppeteer with their hand up her backside is

...which led to a bout of hysterics from the Daily Mail as their front page screamed at the suggestion that Braverman could be sacked that "If you come for Suella you come for all of us", which only further begged the question who the us of that sentence is

...and so it came to bonehead messiah Tommy Robinson to commemorate Remembrance Day by leading his band of brainless dolts down Whitehall - a place, lest I remind you, is where there wasn't a pro-Palestine protest - where it all kicked off. However, it is highly sinister that both the BBC and Daily Mail framed their breaking story of the English Defence League et al kicking off as being the fault of the pro-Palestine march which, for the umpteenth time, was well over a mile away

...all of which led to Suella Braverman getting unceremoniously sacked the Monday morning after Remembrance Sunday, though for some reason the Daily Mail have not been particularly quick in standing up to fight for her

...yet somehow Rishi Sunak seemed to forget he sacked Braverman, as when her Rwanda policy was unanimously deemed unlawful by the Supreme Court his response was to bleat about "foreign courts" when the Supreme Court is literally across the road from the Houses of Parliament or, if you prefer, less than ten minutes walk from Downing Street

It's quite hilarious seeing billionaire manchild Elon Musk talking about how AI is the greatest threat to humanity as if AI doesn't make up the majority of his Twitter followers at this point, but then he went and showed what the actual threat to humanity by showing up on Joe Rogan's podcast a few hours later to spout all manner of medically illiterate bilge about how ventilators were the true cause of death during the worst of the Covid pandemic

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk treated us to another one of his genius ideas, one which would definitely get Twitter's revenues back up: reinstating the accounts of Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkins, because the Freeze Peach absolutist didn't reinstate them the second he got his feet under the desk and hopes nobody would notice there were lines he wouldn't cross until he went full fash

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk decided that he would congratulate stochastic terrorist Chaya Raichik when Raichik posted a photo of her posting with the USA Today front page stating that whenever she tweets something bomb threats inevitably follow, because apparently it's normal to congratulate somebody revelling in their being identified as a terror threat

...but because billionaire manchild Elon Musk is just that pathetic, it emerged that billionaire manchild Elon Musk programmed his own AI program - remember, this is the same person saying that AI is a threat to mankind - to say that he is the greatest memelord, which any psychiatrist would suggest is making their job too obvious

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk banned the Twitter account that was an AI bot making Junlper posts, no doubt steamed both by the fact an AI bot of someone he banned from his Freeze Peach platform where comedy is legal for making a joke about him, and because that AI was far less cringe than creating one to say the one thing nobody has ever said about Elon Musk: he is funny

...but because billionaire manchild Elon Musk cannot help by demonstrate why he needs to pay an AI to agree with him, he then responded to an antisemitic tweet directly by saying "You have said the actual truth" while also accusing the Anti Defamation League of "pushing anti-white racism" because apparently the best way to combat the ADL accounting for the casual racism and antisemitism on Twitter ever since the billionaire manchild bought the platform is to prove their point by endorsing and indulging in antisemitism

...remember how billionaire manchild Elon Musk also has a car company? Well he then demonstrated how committed to Freeze Peach he is by sneaking a clause into the contract of every Cybertruck sale saying that if anyone tries to sell theirs within a year of buying it they will get sued for it

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk tweeted a thinly-veiled threat about graves of his enemies, and by "thinly-veiled threat" I mean "twelve year-old talking like Sephiroth thinking that it makes them sound cool and edgy"

...but wait, billionaire manchild Elon Musk had even more material to sustain his perpetual case of Main Character Syndrome, and that material was...a meme about Pizzagate, as if that hadn't been debunked as hard as the legitimacy of his follower account years ago

...yet there was still time for billionaire manchild Elon Musk to show the world how fucking cool and edgy he is by literally saying "Go fuck yourself" to a social media platform overrun by racism and homophobia while the owner of the platform signal boosts all manner of antisemitic and Islamophobic conspiracy theories

Of all the lines that Lahav Harkov could have chosen to try and justify everything Netanhayu and the IDF are doing in Palestine, her claiming that they are aiming to "denazify" Palestine is easily the worst line to take what with that being the exact same line Putin and his stooges used and continue to use in order to justify attacking Ukraine last year, because that makes it a little too obvious

Remember last month when Rachel Riley swiftly deleted a tweet where she inadvertently compared Jews Against Genocide to Nazis? Well she decided to double down on it after all, accusing them of trying to "kosherise" pro-Palestinian sentiment which definitely does not sound like she is invoking the highly antisemitic trop of "the wrong kind of Jew"

So now we have proven liar Boris Johnson jetting off to Israel to state that the British public stands in solidarity with the bombers of hospitals, ambulances and refugee camps, in spite being in no position to say this due to not being a minister of even an MP as well as the hard to ignore fact that he has previous for jetting off to war zones when trying to avoid enquiries, as he had frequent flyer miles to Ukraine when the Partygate enquiry had him over a barrel - which mainly begs the question who was paying for him to be over there at a time the Covid enquiry is making it plain to see that he was happy to let the bodies pile high

Suffice to say Andrea Jenkyns did not respond to her sacking well, given she immediately sent a No Confidence letter to the 1922 Committee which was riddled with spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors that only served to justify booting her out of the Education Department

...and yet Rishi Sunak can somehow fuck up a reshuffle after kicking out truly toxic indivduals such as Braverman, Jenkyns and Therese Coffey, as he announced Esther McVey as Minister for Common Sense - the same Esther McVey who has hosted a show on GB News for the past three years in spite still being an MP, because nothing says "common sense" like GB News!

The Covid enquiry made it known that Matt Hancock wanted to use the worst of the pandemic to play God, as he wanted to say who would live and who would die - which somehow hasn't come up whenever he appears on yet another celebrity gameshow in the belief he can Ed Balls his image

...the same enquiry also heard that proven liar Boris Johnson was at one point willing to go on national television and be injected with Covid to prove that it was perfectly safe to do so, which in retrospect was a missed opportunity given it also emerged that he did, in spite of numerous lackeys' insistence, say he'd rather the bodies piled high than call another lockdown

Chainsaw-wielding berk Javier Miliei has already started wittering about the Falkland Islands and chatting about military action to reclaim them all while cutting government funding to infrastructure spending, which is sure won't lead to anything unfortunate happening to him sooner rather than later...

Nominative determinism debunker James Cleverley got off to a good start as Home Secretary when he described Stockton North as a shithole, and when trying to deny he called it a shithole first claimed somebody else called Stockton North a shithole before further digging a shithole for himself by trying to say he actually said something about a "ship poll"

Just when you think that Rishi Sunak cannot be any more of a national embarrassment he refuses to meet with Greek PM Kyriakos Mitsotakis due to Mitsotakis saying he wanted the Elgin Marbles returned to Greece, which is really helpful for his tackling of "small boats" by immediately pissing off a key ally in the Mediterranean and further pissing them off by trying to suggest he put a gag order on mentioning the Elgin Marbles when the story was about how Sunak made himself look like a small, petty man

The suddenly ubiquitous Richard Tice decided by to dust off that old George Carlin routine about how the planet actually needs lots of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere in order to feed plants, somehow unaware that Carlin's routine was this thing called "satire" and not a symposium on climate science, but no doubt the climate change deniers that donated literally every penny to The Nigel Farage's Ego Party will be happy with Tice being performatively stupid in order to appeal to people whose stupidity is not performative

You have to hand it to Spyglass Media for screwing the pooch so spectacularly when they fired Melissa Barrera from Scream 7 for sharing a Jewish Currents article written by Jewish Raz Sagal which suggests that Israel is committing acts of genocide by accusing her of sharing antisemitic hate speech (for sharing an article from a Jewish publication written by a Jew, for those at home keeping score) - and within 24 hours of Barrera's sacking Jenna Ortega left the project (as nobody believes the official line she suddenly had commitments to Wednesday which were never previously mentioned) meaning half of the core cast was gone because of Spyglass' complete overreaction

In the mind of Susan Hall somebody handing her back her wallet after she dropped it on the Tube, with all the money and other contents still inside when it was handed back to her, is "evidence" of what a lawless hellhole that London has become under Sadiq Khan - and this is why you should vote for her in the London mayoral election, because she assumes that a good deed is obviously proof that somebody stole her property and she should go on LBC and say so at the earliest opportunity. She's the one that Sadiq Khan fears, didn't you know...?

Militant TERF JK Rowling once again did something that wasn't obvious transphobic by calling the trans community "rapist rights activists" which at least can be said is in line with the usual standard of her writing

Once again Warner Bros decide that releasing films which they have spent an enormous amount of money producing is not something a Hollywood studio should be doing, this time junking Coyote vs ACME for a $30m tax writeoff - and then issuing copyright takedowns for any behind the scenes material which was already online, because apparently you can unperson an entire film now

To celebrate N7 Day BioWare took the interesting approach of taking the devs who sued for severance which they have not been paid to court rather than negotiating a settlement, which really holds up well on the day to remember the importance of loyalty to your crew

Purveyors of Freeze Peach GB News demonstrated just how committed they are to the concept of Freeze Peach by throwing Michael Crick off of a panel discussion because he was exercising his right of Freeze Peach during a GB news quote-unquote discussion to criticise the channel

Failed nepo baby Laurence Fox claimed, in court, that if he wasn't accused of racism for repeatedly posting racist things online he could have played Batman, before bleating about his good name being sullied as if he hadn't done that by failing to have an acting career in spite coming from an acting dynasty

I get the feeling that Nadine Dorries would not fare well under cross examination, given it took all of ten seconds in an LBC interview to blurt out the Dr No her utterly dreadful book keeps talking about was Dougie Smith - and as a result now she is running the risk of being sued by Dougie Smith for, among other things, saying he murdered the pet rabbit of an ex-girlfriend's kid brother and nailing its remains to their front door

And the most pathetic excuse goes to Ivanka Trump for trying to get out of testifying against daddy dearest by saying that she should be excused as the date she was slated to testify was during a school week and that would cause disruption. This would be Ivanka Trump who has six nannies and four babysitters on payroll, whose mother in law lives two blocks away, and who regularly has her sister in law babysit her kids when she's galivanting around the globe

...equally pathetic was Eric Trump tweeting an obviously Photoshopped photo of him with Daddy Dearest trying to suggest he and the kids had an inseparable bond...which would mean he wouldn't have to knock up an image on Photoshop to suggest that he was there at one point during any Christmas of their childhoods

Of course Martin Daubney and Ben Leo were both crowing about the record ratings for the first episode of I'm A Celebrity with waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage as an occasional contestant (though he isn't integrating with all Bushtucker Trials after going to another country...), but there was a slight problem: the figures they were quoting was for the 2022 edition of I'm A Celebrity, which were 2.2m higher than this year's, which had the lowest audience for a debut episode since 2002

For some reason Bethesda came to the conclusion that the best way to approach Steam reviews for Starfield suggesting the game is a bit dull is for the Steam account Bethesda use for customer support to start lecturing people for not enjoying their boring game

Noted NFT scammers Bored Ape Yacht Club manged to stage a party which blinded several of those who attended, which is the best way to treat the handful of people who haven't cottoned onto NFTs being a scam created by crypto bros to prop up the scam that is the cryptocurrency market which has been plummeting in value due to scams not being a solid foundation for any kind of market

#dickheads of the month

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